#i figure the current ending isn't the worst for it as is so sending this lil thing out to the world

[the-silver-chronicles]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @imogenkol

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Three new WIPs for The Silver Chronicles. Guess what? They're another set of AUs. Because I have too many ideas to explore that just can't fit in the main story of Silva's Hope and Old Dusk (aka canon Deputy Silva's story). The first two also introduce two new OCs that can't appear in the main story, while the last one is my take on the Omegaverse. You can read below the cut:

First AU is what I've abridged as "Vengeful!Silva AU"; essentially, the gist of it is that Paul becomes doubtful of his own ability as a parental figure after the Enforcer's first assault on the Minas, and worried for Sylvester's safety, decides she needs to leave the Archipiélagos, out of Adam's reach (as opposed to the main story where the attack resulted in Paul only doubling down in his role as a father to Sylvester and training her to defend herself should the worst come to pass). Sylvester is less than pleased as Elsa is still under Adam's grasp, in addition to the fact the young teenager just got accustomed to the Tumultite community, but Paul promises to save Elsa and reunite with Sylvester once the revolt is over. A coven of witches sail to the Archipiélagos, Paul gives them Sylvester, and they sail to regroup with their fellow sisters in Montana (eventually leading Sylvester and the coven to Hope County). Sylvester is a fellow coven member for many of her adolescence, and though she deeply misses her former community and family, she becomes accustomed to the witches strange practices, especially when she attempts to fill the absence of a parental figure (that both Adam and Paul left) with the Head Coven Priestess, Lillith. However, as Sylvester grows up, Lillith becomes distant to her for undisclosed reasons before ultimately sending Sylvester away to Eden's Gate in a form of a treaty between the Project and Coven. Sylvester does not handle this well, but she accepts it as she doesn't really have a choice in the matter. Almost a woman now, Sylvester joins Eden's Gate. The reason Joseph takes her in is because the Voice lied about how "she was a gift to him, a second chance to be a father to a daughter" (in truth the Voice would rather have Silva dead, but it wasn't going to fumble the opportunity to have Sylvester under its surveillance and likely manipulation), and well, for Joseph whatever the Voice says must be passed. While Sylvester isn't a fan of Eden's Gate' strict rules and doesn't necessarily feel like she belongs, she gives it a chance, and quickly attaches herself to Joseph when he offered parental affection (thanks to Adam, Paul and now Lillith all giving her up, Sylvester developed abandonment issues here). She likely doesn't develop a strong bond nor interact with John and Jacob (nor Faith!Lana) as much (especially while they're busy establishing the Project). Note that timeline-wise, this is the early years of the Project; likely year one, so Bliss and Faith!Rachel aren't around yet and likely Joseph here would have Sylvester be an unofficial and not yet renamed, "Faith", even if there is a current Faith in the form of Lana. Until Lana is killed to vacate the role for Sylvester... which doesn't end up happening as Sylvester unfortunately witnessed the murder scene happen. Sylvester takes whatever she can and leaves; the Project, the county, the state, everything. Until she gets to a state and county far, far, FAR away from Joseph in a new city with a new life and a new name; that being, Silva.

Joseph is... heartbroken over Sylvester's disappearance, while Jacob and John are worried that wherever she is, she'll report them. The Voice, however, tells Joseph it'll handle this... by influencing the world to coordinate a domino effect that results in an abandoned military mill to activate one ICBM under the city Silva is residing in, resulting in the city to collapse and a lot of casualties and destruction. When news reaches Montana, the Voice confirms that Silva's been dealt with and plays it off as "a sign" the Collapse is coming and uses it to urge Joseph to urge his followers "to prep faster for the Reaping". Years later, Joseph and his family await for his fated arrest, and the "Hell that Follows the Whitehorse". What a shock it is that it turns out to be Silva, who survived the Voice's most heinous assassination attempt yet. Although scarred from the experience of surviving a disaster and crawling her way through the physical representation of hell, she's never been more motivated to go after Joseph, under the (reasonable) belief that it was Joseph who set up her demise, and she is really determined in ensuring Joseph suffers. Anyway, that's the gist of the story. The snippet below is a wounded Silva being cornered by Terry and some other of John's men who recognize who she is. They're about to transport Silva, when two unlikely saviors appear out of nowhere (one being the introduction of Margarett, former kickass Prophet Hunter, and now a very cranky physically-augmented one-armed old woman, while the other is Azriel, who Silva bumped into earlier). Enjoy: [CW: Minor description of graphic violence/gore and nameless Peggie death]

Terry sneered down at her, almost repulsed by her words, even if their newest drug slurred her words strangely.

Silva could not blame his reaction; all he knew was that she, a traitor, had returned to unjustly take Joseph away from them and bring about the Garden's destruction without cause.

For all he knew, she was saying nothing more than baseless accusations, especially with how their drug disallowed her from speaking deceptions. She could not fault him for that.

She could only critique him for his blindness to perpetuating another's misdeeds and other's suffering.

"Call in an envoy so we can take this Sinner back to John," Terry ordered one of his fellow Peggies, "I'm sure he'll be ecstatic about marking our misguided sister with her sins."

Silva observed as one Peggie called into his radio while another passed Terry what seemed to be some kind of dart.

He replaced his revolved with a different type of pistol, and inserted the dart into it. Cocking the hammer back, Terry aimed it at Silva's leg, towards the exposed wound.

And now they'll take me to John. Although it wasn't part of her plan, she had anticipated she'd require to meet the region's herald sooner or later. She wondered if these captures will let her come face-to-face with Joseph again, but she couldn't be certain.

The heralds had their own methods of conversions, it seemed unlikely Joseph would be overseeing everything she'd be in, even with their history.

Huffing, knowing there was only one way to find out, the woman slackened her shoulders as she relaxed, closing her eyes as she awaited for Terry to sedate her.

She heard an unexpectedly loud bang, which immediately alarmed Silva. Opening her eyes, she noted Terry clutching his red-stained hand that had blood profusely bleeding from the hole in his palm. His dart gun had clattered off somewhere else.

The Peggies turned their attention towards the direction where the shot came from. Silva followed their gazes toward the greenhouse they had chased her through, the canister of their peculiar drug still knocked over and releasing the green mist in front of the entrance.

Although obscured, there clearly was a large figure making their way through the mist.

The peggies took aim with their rifles, shouting out to the approaching figure, until four more bullets were fired, hitting their weapons or limbs, disarming them.

Holding a strangely designed pistol, or perhaps a revolver, the figure stepped through the mist unaffected, revealing herself to be an aged woman, if freakishly tall and broad. She had to be at least a head-and-a-half taller than Silva's own biological father. Her grey auburn hair was wrapped into a messy bun, with strands of locks loosened near the forefront of her face.

Her skin was grey and wrinkled, but it was odd, almost unnatural in a way. She narrowed her only eye at the Peggies, lifting her upper chapped lip to compliment her scowl.

Scars adorned her face, large slashes across where her other eye used to be, the skin already healed over the socket. Unlike Silva's dysfunctional eye; although she could barely see through it, the blindspot was obvious, and burn scars similar to Jacob's own adorned that area.

The older woman wore a large ragged cloak over her broad form; concealing what she wore underneath, and most obvious to Silva was how it hid her other arm, to her blissed out confusion. She noted the woman wore dirt covered boots, and that a large staff-like weapon was strapped behind her back.

Her unexpected savior cocked the hammer back as she proceeded to throw it in the air to Silva's direction.

"For your quarter-to-six," her savior gruffly stated, reaching for the staff behind her as a Peggie brought out a bat and ran towards her. She effortlessly dodged the swing, and gave a swift kick to the Peggie's side as she removed the staff from her back and adjusted her grip when another Peggie ran up to her.

Silva's brows furrowed from her strange words, until she heard the resounding footsteps of three other guards of Eden's Gate Greenhouse somewhere behind her.

If we're going by the analogy of a clock, she's twelve, which makes me six, and that means... Silva swiftly spun to her right, and fired the pistol. It hit it's mark in a shocked Peggie's chest, stumbling back with his heart blown out, momentarily stunning his companions from the shock.

She cocked the hammer back to fire again, but only an empty click greeted her when pulling the trigger.

Huffing in annoyance, she took advantage of the Peggies stillness, and ran up to the closest one, despite the pain in her leg. One of the Peggie's, a woman, shook from her shock too late when her forehead met the large barrel, knocking her out cold.

Silva swung for her other companion, but the Peggie had enough senses to dodge the attack, and proceeded to kick her wounded leg.

A flash of pain erupted from her leg and she soon felt the butt of his rifle hit the back of her shoulder.

Crumbling down to the dirt floor, she turned over just for the Peggie's foot to pin her chest down, rifle aimed threateningly at her.

Not risking sudden movements, both Silva and the Peggie turned their attention towards the crowd once they heard an undignified scream.

Her ally had snapped the arm of one of Terry's guards in the wrong angle with an effective kick from her knee, before shoving him aside. Around her was one guard retching and groaning as he cradled his stomach, another whose face was against the wall with smears of red trailing down to her still, kneeling position, and her first attacker with the bat was steadily returning up.

Silva noted the pained groaning of the woman she dispatched earlier, much to her own chagrin at the fact.

Worse yet, the Peggie above her was aiming his rifle as his bigger target began effortlessly blocking the swinging hits of his companion's bat with her staff, waiting for an opening.

Silva tried to struggle underneath him but it didn't deter the Peggie.

Until-

"Hey!" a young voice shouted, breaking both Silva and the Peggie's concentration as they searched for it's owner, "Catch!"

A familiar weapon slid towards Silva; her retractable dagger, the one she lost earlier.

Swiftly swiping it, she stabbed it into the Peggie's Achilles tendon, earning a shout of pain above her before she sliced out of it, causing the Peggie to stumble off her. She didn't let him fall though, not yet, as she lunged forwards, embedding the blade into his stomach, and slashing outwards.

Leaving the Peggie to marvel at his own river of blood and entrails, Silva made her way over to his awaking companion. Just as the woman lifted her head, the last thing she witnessed was Silva's thrusting the blade down onto her forehead.

Silva retracted the blade, letting the corpse fall over. Glancing around, she spotted a familiar face; the child, or rather, the girl she had saved from Eden's Gate grasp, watching her in awe from the side of the admin building. Attaching the retracted dagger onto her belt where it belonged, she gave the girl a quizzical head tilt before a small smile tugged up, a giving the child a nod in gratitude.

The girl's blue eyes shined from the apparent praise and approval.

Silva turned to see how her ally was doing, and saw the older woman had kneed the bat-wielding Peggie in the shin, then the face; once, twice, a third relented his grip of his bat, before finishing him off with a knee to his neck, which left a crunch that made Silva's expression twitch and the Peggie's head in an odd angle.

The Peggie that had been hit in the stomach had gotten over his pain, and made his way to run a sneak attack from behind her ally with a knife.

Silva opened her mouth to warn her, but the Peggie gave himself away when he tried to stab into her heavily cloaked arm; or rather, the blade pierced through the rags and only hit her, which was likely covered in a tough garb underneath the shaggy cloak.

Her ally scrunched how face as she glanced back at whatever force failed to knock into her, only to harden her face with an unimpressed frown upon noting the Peggie.

"Nothing of importance there, I'm afraid," she informed the Peggie as she turned fully around to him.

With a good grip on her staff, she twirled it with one hand and hit him once more in the stomach, which he cradled. Then the knee, sending him to his knees. As he looked up, her ally thwacked him upwards with a spinning hit to the chin, before catching his throat with hooked end of the staff, sending him down to the ground as she pushed her staff further against his Adam's apple, compressing the cartilage.

Silva watched in fascination at the brutality of this woman; the strength she wield, the cunning she used, and the durability she had. Ensuring with all certainty that her enemies were dead. Though, Silva still didn't understand why she had saved her, nor any motives she had...

As the woman choked the life out of the gurgling Peggie, she apparently noticed something worth catching her attention.

"Bleeding Palm's getting away," the woman informed Silva. Cocking her head, she glanced around until she spotted Terry trying to start a van as quietly and quickly as possible, door wide open as he desperately tried to get the engine to sputter to life.

She hummed as the engine revved to life, and she made her way to her ally as she asked, "May I?"

Gesturing to the knife stuck in her protective grab, the woman shrugged as the Peggie below her slackened as he let out a weak noise and replied, "Not mine, so sure. He's not going to be using it."

Nodding she ripped the knife out of her ally just as Terry shut the van's driver door, and hit the peddle.

Silva walked to a spot that gave her clear sight of Terry's booking van, brought two fingers together to pinpoint a target, took aim and threw the blade at one of the van's back wheel's just as it turned, causing it to swerve into a small shed in-between the trees.

With Terry going nowhere, she turned her attention back to her approaching ally, done with the Peggie. Silva had half a mind to have her hand near the handle of her blade, just in case her ally had ulterior motives.

Looking up to the older woman, who she noted could be eight feet tall, maybe with a few inches too. Which made her less than three heads taller than Silva herself.

"Gracias. For the help," Silva stated first, and her ally made a short nod in return, until Silva asked, "Though I do have several queries for you."

Her savior snorted, and grunted, "Name's Margarett."

Straightforward, Silva noted, and responded, "I'm Silva."

"Oh, I know," Margarett informed the younger woman, "Saw your little rally at that little town nearby. Your whole speech of unity and freedom against that family of twats spilling blood in this county. Quite impressive, how you managed to lift the morale of the small folk there."

Silva raised a brow, retaining everything Margarett was saying, suspecting something more.

"You've certainly got talent of a leader," Margarett commented, "They believed every single word. Though if I may inquire; did you? Or is it just a convenient step closer to your actual goal?"

Silva stared into the taller woman's amber eyes, and gave a small smirk as a reply.

The second AU that diverges from the canon and plots of Far Cry 5 and Silva's Hope is what I like to call the Harbinger AU. The story here is that, instead of Ezekiel staying behind to fight off Enforcers while Silva, Elsa and Persephone manage to escape together (and then breaking out of jail to search for the trio of Omars around the world before reuniting with Silva 17 years after the Collapse of society in Old Dusk), Ezekiel escapes with the trio to America. Elsa doesn't die in her accident as Ezekiel is present to do the things she can't; like trying to figure out what's up with Eden's Gate while Silva and Persephone are none the wiser. Also Persephone is alive in this timeline because... well. You see, the divergence doesn't stop with Elsa's death, as during the year Elsa's accident does happen at the Horned Serpent Cave (in the main story at least), instead the incident is Silva going missing while making a grocery trip to Holland Valley, which she'd apparently never reached according to townsfolk Fall's End. Elsa and Ezekiel become the main caretakers of Persephone, and Silva is presumed dead. Paul never visit Hope because he doesn't discover that Silva is present there (therefore not leading him to go there to convince her to join his cult, get rebuked, kidnap her daughter to lure her on a global travel around corners of the globe, leading to Silva reuniting with Kamski, and then eventually leads to Paul, his Apostles and Persephone's deaths in the process). A couple of years later, on the night of Joseph's arrest, there is no deputy to fill the Hell role, despite the Voice promising there should be, leading to Whitehorse and Burke to cuff Joseph while Hudson waits outside and Pratt in the helicopter. Joseph is a little lost on how to consider this but improvises with what he has, interpreting it as either the Sheriff or the Marshal being the Muse. Surprisingly, they manage to lift off without the Peggies getting into the rotor... only for the tail to be blown off and leading to the crash; and Joseph meeting an old face in the form of Saint Matilda, a former Peggie he had exiled from the Project for doing inhumane experiments that even made Jacob cringe. She is one of this AUs primary antagonists (along with her monstrous creation known as the "Harbinger") in addition to the Prophet Hunters (five unique individuals physically augmented by Saint Matilda herself) sent by the Apostles to (a) retrieve the rogue Saint and her newest creation back into their waiting arms and (b) kill two birds with one stone by killing the local rival prophet in the area. Though that's not to say that Eden's Gate won't still be an obstacle in everyone's path, as they're the ones who have Matilda in custody. Elsa and Ezekiel prepare to help the Resistance fight any foe that as to protect Persephone. In the snippet below, you'll see her exile from Eden's Gate through dear beloved John's perspective, as he hears what will be her first of many crimes against nature. Enjoy below:

John joined Jacob and Faith upon the podium as Joseph began the sermon.

"My children, my family... I am pleased that you've gathered together for this morning," Joseph peered across the pews of the awestruck faces of their people, an admiration John also shared for his brother, "Though I wish this was under better circumstances."

That got their faithful's attention, as well as the attention of John and the rest of Joseph's siblings. John briefly wondered if Joseph had received another vision, and waited with bated breath with on the podium behind Joseph.

He found the reason to be more surprising than pressing.

"One of our own had strayed from the Project's mission," Joseph explains, looking solemnly, "She had abused her position and the trust we gave her. To desecrate the bodies of our own people, defile our Judges, and to taint the purity of our Angels."

John raised a brow, and his blue eyes briefly lingered on Faith; wondering if it was finally her time. He certainly wouldn't mind this one going, given how overstayed her welcome was.

Though she didn't look alarmed with worry, and Jacob didn't pay her any mind. To John's disappointment, Joseph unveiled a different name of the culprit.

"You may bring forth Sister Matilda," Joseph commanded in the room, and the doors opened to reveal Alexander and some of his Chosen dragging the white dressed woman to the front of the chapel.

They dropped her in front of Joseph, doing little to be gentle or considerate of their roughness.

The woman in question had been amongst the first members of the flock; not someone John interacted with on a daily notice, but a face he's seen pop up once or twice. He did note how she recently had been working under this iteration of Faith and a short while with Jacob... before his older brother requested, practically ordered, that she stay in Faith's region for reasons John wasn't privy to.

She was young, though not as young as their current Faith; John would say this Matilda was around her twenties. She had lengthy strawberry blonde hair, and greenish hazel in her eyes. Small nose, youthful cheeks, and a small frame to boot. She could have been a candidate to become a "Faith", though given current circumstances, perhaps it was a good thing she wasn't.

She gave small fleeting glances up to Joseph's face, her whole body shaking on her knees. Clearly afraid. Maybe ashamed, John pondered to himself, knowing how it felt to be under the Father's disappointed gaze.

He shook his head though; he made mistakes that he'd made up for. Whatever she has done, seems to be worse; perhaps even unforgivable.

He glanced to Jacob and Faith. His oldest brother seemed cautious while staring at Matilda, almost on edge. His eyes did not stray from Matilda, observing any and all movement. Faith, unsurprisingly, looked shocked at Matilda's presence, though she seemed more curious, like John himself.

Bringing his attention back to Joseph and their stray lamb, Joseph spoke, "Sister Matilda. Do you know why you've been brought here?"

Matilda visibly gulped, the woman petrified where she sat on the floor, giving a shaky and swift nod as her answer.

"F-for going against your-your authority... Father," she stuttered out through quivering lips, surprisingly audible for them all to hear.

"That is one cause for your presence here," Joseph acknowledged, calmly, and proceeded to reveal, "But it is also for your... acts of cruelty against God's creations, and those of whom gave up their doubt and fear to serve the Project. I have been informed you've also developed blueprints on changes to the Bliss' formula to make it more... hostile, towards any who seek solace in it."

Jacob sneered at the woman while Faith let slip an undignified expression before it hardened into a calm disappointment. Though John wanted to feel some satisfaction from Faith's slip of her mask, he was more focused on the fact their most efficient tool thus far had nearly been tampered with by the woman before them.

Staring down at the woman herself made it harder to belief she could have done those; the pitiful girl barely held herself together under Joseph's gaze.

"I... I just," Matilda softly sobbed out once more, trying to speak her words before they were lost to her forever, "I only... wanted to help."

John watched as Joseph tilted his head, quizzical of Matilda's words. Though John found himself uncertain by what Matilda said, he could not deny the pang to his own heart. He noted how Faith's expression softened at her words, and how Jacob stiffened with a frown. Not even the faithful could keep their scowls from faltering.

He couldn't help but feel pity for the woman, and found it terrifying by how easy it was for her to elicit such a reaction on them all. Although...

"And how, dear child, were your actions intended to help us?" Joseph asked, patient.

...her next words swiftly replaced that pity with disgust.

And lastly an Omergaverse AU centered around my Boa Lurking In The Bliss OTP (aka Silva x Faith). Enjoy this flash-forward snippet of Silva and Faith stuck in a bunker together at an inconvenient time:

She should have expected this. It was only inevitable that it would happen.

Being stuck in the same bunker as her was already displeasing enough for Silva. Being stuck in the same bunker while her disgruntled roommate's suffering cries and whimpers reverberate around their underground home?

Well, Silva couldn't deny how bad of an effect it was having on her own composure. She was usually stronger than this...

Once again breathing in slowly, she found herself not rejecting, like she should, the pleasant citrus scent of pineapples and lemons that escaped through the crack of the master bedroom door.

Though the guilt rumbled as she exhaled, knowing she shouldn't be anywhere near the other woman.

And yet, she thought as she placed an unoccupied gloved hand on the door, widening the opening more to glimpse inside, Here I am.

She remembered how neat the master bedroom had looked before it had been claimed by her impromptu bunk-mate. The sheets and blankets had held no wrinkles, the only number of pillows being two, and the floor was spotless, in addition to two nightstands; the right with a lamp, the left empty for anyone's use.

Now the two layer blankets were crumpled, along with extra blankets that her guest had stolen from Silva's bedroom and the linen cupboard, pillows from the lounge scattered around in a circle on the mattress, the lamp on the right nightstand was switched off, the blankets layered on top with a bunch of clothes strewn around the makeshift nest, and the floor from the looks of it.

A desperate attempt to find comfort in an alpha's smell, Silva figured. Or a beta's, intruded the thought, but Silva shook it away. Omegas don't seek out betas during heat, she reminded herself. Only alphas.

Regardless, though, either the light-brunette woman didn't find the scent she was searching for or whatever surviving scents of spice that lingered on those dresses were too faded from time to be a content substitute for the omega.

Overall, a very comfortable looking nest in her opinion, especially given their circumstances. Though the omega's scent was more enticing and stronger now that she entered the room.

Gripping on the handle, Silva stepped deeper inside the room. She needed to be quick about this, she didn't want to overstay.

She made her way to the left side of the nest, being careful to not step on any of the clothes; for her? Sentimentality? Silva didn't know, but it wasn't the point; she needed to reach the nightstand without disturbing the other woman. A quick glance over and she saw her omega "friend" was curled up in the blankets, still in that white dress, groaning in pain while mumbling prayers between hot breathes.

Why am I even trying to be considerate of her? she had to ask herself, Am I forgetting WHO this even is?

No, she hadn't. She knew exactly who the omega woman was. She had spent several months being forced to be acquainted to the woman, her brothers and their Project. She watched as she manipulated the Mariscal to murder Virgil. After all the harm and fallout she's caused, one would think Silva would have learned by now that Faith fucking Seed wasn't worth an ounce of her pity.

Then why am I doing this?

She placed down the kit full of essential first aid, cleaning supplies, a canteen of water, plus containers of foods she hoped Faith liked as much as Irene did. She couldn't find an answer to her question, and honestly didn't know where she could start.

With her task complete, and despite how nice it was in here, she turned to make a swift exit.

But she was stopped by a hand grip on her wrist, forcing Silva to stop.

"What are you doing here?" Faith grunted out, exhausted green eyes narrowed in confusion and suspicion of Silva's presence.

Mierda, she internally cursed. She closed her eyes to collect herself in the sweet aroma filled room, before taking a half glance back at Faith and answering, "I dropped off things you might need. Including some foods and water. To make your heat... bearable."

Faith had glanced to the kit on the nightstand before looking back at her, stunned by Silva's action.

Silva looked away from Faith, the fruitful scent emanating from the Seed sister stronger, and kept her grey eyes back to the open door. She needed to leave.

"I'll leave you to your privacy now-"

"No!" Faith rebuked, her other hand joining the iron grip on Silva's captured wrist, keeping the taller woman in place.

Silva peered back to Faith, a mistake once she was trapped by the desperate green eyes of the omega, "P-please don't go."

Silva felt a pang in her heart by Faith's soft murmur. She shook her ahead, attempting to refute the omega's request, "I can't stay Faith-"

The former deputy could feel how Faith's hands trembled on her arm, a sob croaking out as the young woman asked, "Don't go. Please... Your scent... it's calming. Please stay... don't leave me."

Silva could feel the very moment her self-restraint crumbled to pieces from Faith's words.

She was silent when she turned to face Faith. She was silent when she saw Faith's teary eyes and the desperateness written on her face. And she was silent when let out a soundless huff.

She gave a slow nod. "Okay," she affirmed.

She followed Faith's guidance as the latter pulled the former into her nest, and Silva was quick to accommodate to the nest and Faith's shorter size while the other woman nestled against Silva's body, taking in Silva's calming vanilla scent.

Silva cautiously embraced the other woman, feeling how the heat emanated from her body, and strong her pleasant scent was now that their bodies were so close.

Silva would have preferred if Faith snuggled into her from behind, but even the idea of that didn't sit well for her.

She sighed at her current predicament, bringing a comforting hand to gently run her gloved fingers through the herald's hair, while her other hand rubbed smoothing circles on Faith's back.

God, I'm comforting Faith Seed. She fucking dreaded the idea of Tracey ever hearing of this, or worse, the Sheriff. They'd surely blow a fuse.

She couldn't help but acknowledge a certain irony here. Not only had Joseph correctly predicted a "great fire that would cleanse the surface", but he'd been correct about her. Despite how hard she tried to prove him wrong.

Whether it was an alpha or an omega, with the Resistance or with the Seed's sister here and now, the only use she'd ever have is acting as their confidant, their mediator, their support. Nothing else.

"As is intended of a beta," Silva recalled his words, spoken many months prior. Before the Reaping and before the night of his arrest.

I really shouldn't have gone to that barbecue.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Agency informant Izaya

During the Decay of Angels arc, Izaya becomes a vampire.

While Ranpo's bailing out the Agency, Izaya is doing damage control to their reputation.

Using facts and logic to dispell the allegations against them in the public eye.

He's been reunited with Atsushi and Kyouka and is helping them, Lucy and Ango with things on the Sky Casino.

And gets captured by Teruko and Tachihara after stalling for time to let the others escape.

Izaya figures out that Tachihara has changed alligances and hands him a drive thst doubles as a recording device. (It's a suprise tool that will help him later.)

Given Izaya is not technically not a member of the Agency, he's bought to Fukuchi for questioning.

Izaya has his own device like Tachihara's and uses it to record everything Fukuchi says during the meeting.

Fukuchi is intrigued by him, because he knows Izaya isn't just your run of the mill informant.

"It's werid, unlike the rest of the Agency we couldn't find anything on you. It's like you don't even exist."

"Funny, I could find everything on you."

Fukuchi chuckles and tells him while I couldn't find anything online, I've heard rumours out in the wild. About a man who uses humanity like puppets.

Izaya, caught off guard but counters that "werid, because the only puppeteer I see is the man before me."

Fukuchi does the classic we're not so different you and I.

"I'm trying to make humanity better than it ever could be, erase all war with just a price. You understand that, you will join me."

Izaya, laughs his arse off because no we ain't. *That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you can't sacrifice lives for peace. There's not a toll to pay."

Fukuchi takes this... Not so well.

And they end up fighting.

Now Izaya can hold his own in a fight. But as the fight goes on, Fukuchi outmatches and overpowers him.

There's only so much you can dodge a sword that can't bend space and time. And Fukuchi is a soilder with countless surgeries to turn him into the peak of human condition.

Izaya is strong but he's not that strong. He got the information he required and that's what counts.

But he does still have an exist strategy... That's thwarted. And in a last ditch effort, Izaya uses his ability on Fukuchi.

Hoping to use the sudden flashback of memories to catch him off guard and give him an opening to escape.

It doesn't work. Instead Izaya's overwhelmed by the things he sees, the people Fukuchi's tortured, the sheer destruction and suffering.

Fukuchi doesn't bat an eye and stabs him, in multiple futures in multiple areas to keep Izaya from being able to look away or deactivite his ability.

"Funnily enough, I wasn't asking when I said you'd join me."

Izaya, even with all of this manages to press the send button to deliver it all to the Agency just before Bram bites him.

The outfit change is basically Izaya losing his current short coat and ending up with a trench coat (like he does in the Durarara Manga).

His skins grey, his eyes are black and red like the rest of the vampire. Theres also the fact Izaya can walk now, given the reason he couldn't was psychosomatic.

And he's currently mind controlled. With any atrophy from not walking for a very long time being fixed by vampire healing.

With Bram, Fukuchi found out Izaya's ability and decides to use him to gain information.

As he has complete control over Izaya's ability, Fukuchi is able to view the memories he sees.

Fyodor totally gloats over Izaya being turned to Dazai. And he's lucky Dazai and Chuuya are so good at being composed.

Because that's their friend and big brother... You'll pay for that.

The Agency take the news horribly too, Fukuchi is livid. Atsushi takes it the worst because Izaya got captured saving him and the others.

None of them want to fight him but they do end up having too.

When the ability wears off, Izaya collapses but Atsushi is there to catch him. He carries him and helps him back into his wheelchair.

And Izaya hugs him, comforts him that it's not Atsushi's fault but his own. He took a risk but it paid off.

"Were you scared?"

"Nope, you know why? Because I knew you were all gonna save me. And you did."

[savefrog]

Hi! I shouldn't assume that being a longtime follower means I know you but I gotta unfollow anyone engaging in "vote blue no matter who" rhetoric and figured I'd say so on my way out. You have every right to do whatever w electoral politics and I agree there's a level of pragmatism to voting. But like, are you saying that about the USA Dems?? They're bombing Gaza to the point of genocide as we speak! Even if you're not proud of that fact, what would be the aim of such a vote? I doubt anyone of any party committing war crimes can be pushed by freely given votes, no?

You're welcome to unfollow. But essentially I'm entirely on the pragmatism end here.

Me saying vote blue in this case is not going "woohoo ok dems i love everything you do, do whatever!!!!"

it's a matter of "red quite LITERALLY wants to remove all ability to protest and say this shit is wrong".

see summary of Trump on shutting down the ability to protest

blue is not entirely clean on this matter either but i would take getting run over by a motorbike over getting run over by a truck.

I would like to preserve the ability to say the government sucks ass and while I totally get where people are coming from when they don't want to vote dem...I'd say that abstaining from voting to "send a message" is akin to complete silence in this current election climate especially considering the stakes, and there are a lot of other ways to get a message across that isn't passively allowing the literal white supremacist in - who by the way said BIDEN of all people was too soft on Palestine and that he wanted Israel to hurry up and "finish the job":

source (It is also recorded on various other news sources)

Though frankly I agree with this quote here, from an article that is also critical of Harris and Biden:

“Trump would be the worst,” Asmaa Nimilaat, 50, said from a hospital where thousands of people are sheltering in Deir el-Balah, an area in central Gaza. “But any candidate that becomes president will not support Palestinians.”

The USA as an entire machine is so heavily invested in Israel it's hard to imagine a pro-palestinian president ever being elected. That is why I said the election is "picking your opponent".

The ideal situation is a complete rework of the US. As much as not voting FEELS like protest here...it is not going to do anything meaningful in this regard. It is indistinguishable from a non-vote from someone who couldn't get off work or was screwed out of an accessible voting location by red bullshit or just skipped out of apathy.

But we can at least not let the guy in whose ideal is to restructure the government to only allow fascist kiss ups in, heavily criminalize any opposing voices and militarize against them, has already set a new standard to allow the executive branch to do "What the fuck crime ever", and continue to use poc and lgbt in the US as a scapegoat and target of violence to radicalize his people. And then CONTINUE to protest and make pressure.

By all means I'd say no matter someone's plans for the actual voting day, TELL democractic nominees you're undecided and will not vote if they don't call for a ceasefire that lasts more than 10 minutes.

You can do whatever, but im personally not interested in a situation I see as letting conservatives take what is already bad and making it 3000 times worse and 80x less improvable and I guess I would encourage others if they can stomach it to make that same consideration rather than treat the election like a moral pageant. If they truly believe not voting will actually send a message, cool. But I want people to think really hard on whether it will. And then for the love of god don't stop at just voting.

If anything I encourage people to vote dem in state elections if only because there are dems right now trying to make ranked voting a thing, so that we can finally be free from having to vote dem at all and actually make it viable to pressure them in ballots!!!!

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Hi, first of all your fic is amazing, well written and just perfect. But I have couple of requests - 1. Can you describe to me how the children of Yorick's and Ella's children ? - it will be really cool. 2. Can you write Rhaenyra more kindly - I know that you lean more to the green side (me too) but I just feel that you are going to make her "evil" - but she isn't, she is indeed very self absorbed but she was groomed by daemon. (Don't get me wrong not all blame is on him, but still). So I just wanted to ask from you to not make her "evil" - just human with problems and etc.... ( of course, only if you wish too ) 3. Can you make Yorick's and Ella's children to be friends with Rhaenyra's children too ? 4. How does their children ( Yorick and Ella) see their grandfather daemon ? Do they even meet him ?

Again, your fanfic is amazing and I really really like it, one of the best in the fandom. So thank you for this beautiful fanfic ❤️

Oh my God, this is so incredibly sweet thank you so much for taking the time to send this ask! I'm gonna answer in parts since it's so long & you have so many questions (which, I am not upset about, I genuinely enjoy in depth talks about my fic. I just don't want to forget to address something!

So, the fic is going to go on long enough that we meet & spend time with Yorick & Ella's children & some of them are going to get POVs! I don't want to spoil all of that, so I'm going to keep it kind of vague, I hope you don't mind!

Yorick & Shireen are going to have 7 by the time we reach the end of season 1/they're done having kids: Rhea (who's face reference is Anna Popplewell, & she has hetrochromia like her Aunt Ella. I have some art of her here. She's gonna be shipped with a canon character, feel free to speculate 💕), Stannis (he's introduced as a toddler in the chapter I'm currently working on & am maybe half way done with? His face reference is Skandar Keynes & I've written about his relationship so I feel like I can just drop his relationship with Helaena here), Baldric (who's face reference is Ferdia Walsh-Peelo, & he's the same age as Daeron & Jace), Myranda (who's face reference is Georgie Henley. There's a distinct pattern going on here, lmao), Yorbert (no face reference, because he's super young & I don't like looking for FCs that young), Argella, & Laenor.

Ella & Robert are going to have 3 kids: Griffith (who's face reference is Harry Gilby), & the twins Aerea & Adrienne (who both use Olivia Hussey as a face reference).

Stannis, Griffith, & Baldric are gonna be Aegon's Teenage Bro Squad, with Stannis & Griffith very much being the voices of reason in this squad. Rhea is going to develop a friendship with Helaena, as well as being besties with her cousin Abby (who was made by the lovely @emilykaldwen), & I honestly don't know if there is a voice of reason in that friend group. The girls are doing great though. Myranda & "The Rose Twins" are a bit up in the air beyond "I know they're friends with each other," but honestly I've got so much time to figure them out. Those girls are all only 14/13 by the time The Dance starts.

Hard agree with you on Rhaenyra not being evil & just being a flawed individual who had some of her worst traits exacerbated by her grooming & relationship with Daemon, as well as Viserys enabling her at most turns. I think the issue with my writing of her seeming mostly uncharitable in this particular fic is just that we aren't really delving into her POV & we're just seeing her actions as interpreted through those on the receiving end, for better or worse. That said, I would definitely be open to writing side drabbles & rehashes of scenes from her POV if anyone had suggestions or the like. If you're super interested in a Definitely More Overtly Kind reading of our dear Rhaenyra, my next fic I plan on working on might be for you! Once SOTF is wrapped up (y'know, eventually), I'm going to sit down & plot an AU about a sister-by-Aemma OC, & that fic is going to be as much about their sisterly relationship (& it's improvement over the years) as it is going to be about the OC's relationship with a certain Master Of Ships. I've already written a drabble set in that fic from Rhaenyra's POV if you want to check it out!

TBH, I am not 100% sure what the Yoreen & Robella kids' relationships with Jace & Luke is going to be. They're not really going to have as much exposure to them as they are the Targtowers just by virtue of the slow degradation of Rhaenyra's & the Twins' relationship, but they're not going to be unfriendly to them, they don't really have a lot of reason to be. Honestly, it'll probably be like my relationship with my own cousins "I like them when I'm around them, but we never spent time together growing up, so we aren't close." If it makes you feel better, my very unserious but incredibly fun modern AU has Rhaenyra's sons as fully integrated parts of the friend group. Everyone is doing a lot better in the modern AU & no one dies (well, except Alicent's mom & Aemma. RIP queens, y'all served while you were here)

And hoo boy, the Grandpa Daemon question. I was actually talking about that with Nat/emilykaldwen this morning so you have wonderful timing, lmao. It's very complicated. The ones who are alive at the time (Rhea, Stannis, Griffith, Baldric, Aerea & Adrienne, Myranda, & Yorbert) don't meet their grandpa until Laena's funeral, but they're all kids & Yorbert is only 3. The two youngest (& in a way, Yorbert too) don't meet him until Rhaenyra & Daemon come to King's Landing to push for Luke inheriting Driftmark.

The oldest ones all know "we don't talk about Grandpa Daemon," & they do their best to keep the youngest ones away from him while their child brains are only parsing that they don't want to get in trouble with their parents--they don't know the reasons for anything yet, they just know "we don't talk about Grandpa Daemon." It gets more complicated for them as they get older & learn more about their family history, & honestly I don't think any of the oldest ones like him, but in that kind of abstract way where "someone I love doesn't like this person, so I don't like them either even though I don't know them like my loved one does." Myranda has the best relationship with him because she's mostly neutral on him. She actually seeks Daemon out at Laena's funeral because she wants to meet her other grandpa, but they never really bond. He would like to bond with his grandkids, I think, but he kind of burned that bridge of having that particular family when he murdered his oldest kids' mom. Like, he looks at Yorick's kids & Ella's kids, & even though he hasn't met them he's just sprinkled all over that gene pool, & he can see it & he wants to interact, but those kids have all been told not to hang out with him & it's just really messy & honestly kind of sad within the fic's existing/upcoming text. Once again though, modern AU is very different. He's in his grandkids' lives in that one & he is thriving because he's not being deprived of Favorite Grandkid Myranda Who Thinks He's Great & Tells Him Every Day.

[pencil-peach]

G Witch Onscreen Text: Episode 16

Part 17 of my onscreen text series where I transcribe and discuss the text that appears on monitors and screens in G Witch! And also talk about various other things. We've reached Episode 16: "Cycle of Sin."

<Click here to return to Episode 15 Or Click Here to go to the Masterpost!

But you wouldn't leave, right? You'll stay here, with me.

Won't you?

There's so much to love about Bel and Prospera's conversation here, even outside the Eri reveal. I love that Bel is the one who figured Prospera out first, because she knew her prior to the Vanadis incident, but she's still too much of a coward to stand against her.

The utter cosmic tragedy that Eri died from the very thing the institute was trying to solve, and Prospera using GUND technology to save her in a way that ran completely counter to its ideals because there was no other option for her.

The way Prospera knows EXACTLY what to say to make Bel crumble INSTANTLY like ugh. UGH.

I think a lot about what Prospera says to Bel at the end of this scene. "There will be no escape for you either." I always wonder what she means by that. Does she mean it in the sense of, "You won't escape from your sins either," or, "The Gundam's curse will consume you too," or maybe even, "When this is all over, you won't be spared." That last one's a bit of a stretch probably. I think Prospera sees Bel as just annoying at worst. But it's still food for thought.

We see a collection of News coverage on the current conflicts from various broadcasting stations

Top Left: Station: Interplanetary News Network TERRORISM AT ASTICASSIA SCHOOL AUTHORITIES UNABLE TO MANAGE SITUATION - Asticassia School terror attack At least 12 dead, many injured. Chaos at Asticassia school after terror attack.

Top Right: Station: Cosmic MEDIA NEWS DAWN OF FOLD CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY - Dawn of Fold Terrorists put pressure on Space Assembly League. Anti Spacian terrorism on the rise.

(Not pictured): Station: EOP VIM JETURK ASSASSINATED BY DAWN OF FOLD TERRORISTS

Bottom Left: Station: All-Front News Network FEARS OF WAR AND TERRORISM RISE DUE TO EARTHIAN UNREST - Space Front economy suffers new blow from anti-Spacian terrorism. Rising anti-Spacian terrorism risks interplanetary-war

Bottom Right: Planetary News Broadcast 32 killed in anti-Spacian demonstration in North Africa - Teenage casualties as Spacian security forces clash with anti-Spacian group - Benerit group security MS open fire to break up anti-Spacian protests.

The Benerit group really is terrible, huh?

When Miorine is finally able to use her phone, she sees that Suletta has in fact sent her 3 emails every day, just like she asked her to.

TEXT:

2 days ago I helped look after Tiko... I'm studying hard for...

Yesterday Good morning The petunia flowers... I've cleaned your room...

Today Good morning I did my best on the... I harvested three red [tomatoes]...

Suletta sends Miorine a "Good morning" email every morning, and then sends her updates and what else she does that day for the other 2 emails. I wouldn't be surprised if there was an, "I miss you" email or two in that batch.

Suletta also mentions Miorine's petunias in one of the emails

It's pretty heavily overshadowed by the tomatoes, but Miorine is just a really prolific gardener in general, and the walls of the greenhouse's entrance are adorned primarily with petunias. It might just be her favorite flower. (Did you know that Petunias commonly symbolize anger and resentment? They can also symbolize finding comfort within another person.)

Oh, and just so it isn't left unsaid, unread emails sent by the Holder have a yellow '!' icon next to them. (5lan's unread email from Peil had a standard blue '!' icon.) They really will not let you forget who the Holder is at this school.

It's probably important to make note of Lauda's attitude towards Miorine in this scene. He's fairly amicable.

Even the caution tape is digital here man. Anyway, this most likely says: Access to training grounds is now prohibited due to declared state of emergency.

In this scene, we see Secelia scrolling down what appears to be a social media platform for Asticassia. TEXT (Top to Bottom)

This is what happens when you let Earthians in the school! (8 Comments, 120 stars, 60 reposts)

We don't need Earthians at Asticassia (5 Comments, 216 stars, 38 reposts)

I can't bear to sit in an MS cockpit anymore (0 Comments, 83 stars, 13 reposts)

IMMA HEAD OUT!

(2 Comments, 146 stars, 75 reposts)

Earthians should go back to Earth (11 Comments, 263 stars, 94 reposts)

GUND-ARM Inc. must be responsible for this attack (7 Comments, 165 stars, 14 reposts)

IF only Mr. Guel were here (1 Comment, 32 stars, 19 reposts)

ASTICASSIA IS OVER

(6 Comments, 98 stars, ??? reposts)

Did the Mercurian Girl save us all? (??? Comments, ??? stars, ??? reposts)

In true Spacian fashion, the anti-Earthian posts are the ones that seem to be the most popular.

Funnily enough, the Guel post is really unpopular. I like to imagine that it was made by Felsi.

Usernames seem to be anonymous, likes are stars, and you can only seem to select from a handful of default icons.

Also, to be completely and totally honest, the fucking IMMA HEAD OUT post is nearly singlehandedly the entire reason I started this series. It was driving me up the wall and I never saw a single other person mention it and it was so funny to me that it was there that I needed to show it off just so more people would see it.

Anyway, we see another broader shot of the site on Ojelo's tablet here, (that's why he makes that comment about everyone always seeing Earthians as suspicious, he's seeing it on the site) and it even looks like the NAME of it is written here but its fucking BLURRED FOR NO REASON WHY DO THEY HATE ME.

When Jubeju's friends talk about how Gundams steal their pilot's lives, Suletta interjects by saying, "Our Gundam isn't like that," instead of outright denying that it's true as she did in the first season. It shows that she's come to accept that Gundams CAN kill their pilots after what she saw happen to Sophie, but she still believes that Aerial is an exception to that rule. (Which makes sense. She'd have no reason to believe otherwise at this point.)

Here's something fun about this scene that probably doesn't mean anything but I like it anyway.

The last time Suletta and Miorine saw each other, Suletta shouted "やめなさい" (yamenasai, or "stop it") and then used her right hand to stop someone from hurting her.

When they reunite for the first time in this season, Miorine says "やめなさい" and then holds up her right hand to stop someone from hurting Suletta. Except the body count luckily does not increase this time.

Season 2 makes HEAVY use of parallelism to season 1. Like, it is the go to literary device for this season. I could make a whole post discussing it this shit runs EXCEPTIONALLY DEEP.

In both seasons, in a scene with all the Earth House students, Chuchu says something to Miorine that surprises her, and we get a panning shot of all the students looking at her. But in season 2, all of the students are smiling at her, and while Suletta was standing closest to her in season 1's pan, in season 2's, she's the furthest away.

This is also the first time Miorine smiles this season. Outside of the OP/ED, she smiles a single digit number of times for the entire rest of the season

There's a lot I love about this scene. All the Earth House students being like, That's her MOM???? is really funny.

AND WHATS UP WITH THIS. I HATE HER. I LITERALLY HATE HER. WITH HER STUPID ASS "Suletta no okaasan desu~!" LIKE FUCK YOUUUUUUUU FUCK YOU FUCK OFFFFFFF.

Anyway what's probably more important is that the fact that Prospera heard Suletta say wanted to take Miorine to the greenhouse but only showed up until after Miorine agreed, which means she was probably waiting outside the door. She wanted to let Miorine know that she was there.

This goes a bit more into headcanon territory, but I think a lot about how in this scene, Eri stays deactivated until 5lan specifically asks, "Wasn't Number 4 able to use it?" and then after that goes out of her way to torture him. She could have just continued not turning on, but it's specifically when 5lan makes clear that he's NOT El4n that she activates and decides to give him the business. I think Eri didn't want to have to hurt El4n, because she knows Suletta still cares about him, even if he's been weird to her lately, but knowing that he's NOT the same guy means it's fair game to fry his fucking brains out. (My dark secret is that I have an Eri + El4n minor friendship headcanon. I'll talk more about it when we get to Quiet Zero.)

Ah, well you see Suletta, I'm being reflected on the bright red ripe tomato, symbolizing how I am a fully realized individual confident in my ideals, (left) whereas you are being reflected on an unripe tomato with signs of Blossom End Rot, symbolizing how you have not yet truly learned what it means to live for your own sake and are simultaneously being slowly rotted out from the bottom by the grip your mother has on your life (right).

You ever think about how Prospera spent the last 3 episodes basically orchestrating this argument

First she tells Suletta that she did the right thing, only the two of them could have saved everybody, and that Miorine will understand. Then she tells Miorine that, yeah, she went too far, but won't you still be friends with her? (Specifically going out of her way to NOT convince Miorine that Suletta did the right thing) And then explicitly tells her she's using Suletta for her own ends. Then she shows up when Suletta and Miorine reunite, just to remind her that, yes, Suletta will quite literally do whatever I tell her. lol.

And afterwards when Miorine confronts her she is entirely unbothered. Without a beat she just says, "She's a good little girl isn't she~" like you knew this would happen. Ur so fucked up. I love you.

I like that Prospera mentions Rajan here cause it means either she or Godoy had been following Miorine around at the Group Front. Fucking scary.

Hmm, this ended rather quick huh? I feel like I'm missing something... Ah well! See you next episode! It's a biiig favorite! (Man if this site goes down where am I gonna put all these posts...)

Click here to go Episode 17 Part 1 >> Click here for the Masterpost

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2023

What a weird year for pop music, full of strange trends, confusing garbage and unexpected hits. Once again, even if the charts don’t always reflect it, music as a whole is currently very interesting to follow closely.

Disclaimers / Rules:

I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these lists. There’s songs that charted in my country way higher than they did in the US, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

No song that I already put on a previous list is elligible.

No old hit song that is re-charting due to a holiday or a trend is elligible either.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible.

I have sound-to-color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

A lot of bad stuff happened to me this year (several accidents in a row, and also my cat died) but some good stuff too, thank goodness. I only went to two concerts this year (Bloodywood and BMTH), but they were both absolutely amazing. Pretty sure the Bring Me The Horizon one was the best concert I ever went to, actually, and there's a lot of competition considering all the great ones I went to in 2022. I'm just sad 100 gecs had to cancel theirs, I was really looking forward to it. Oh well.

Let’s start with the good or interesting albums that came out in 2023, and oh my, that's a long list already.

Albums

Starting as usual with stuff that disappointed me: Depeche Mode's Memento Mori was... actually it was all right, but I miss the days when I could get excited about a new Depeche Mode album, I really do.

Pink Tape by Lil Uzi Vert was a giant fucking mess. There's some absolute bangers on it, and then you get to the next track and it's the worst thing you've ever heard. Which makes for an interesting listening experience, for sure, but one I'm in no hurry to repeat. At least it's never boring.

After the Magic by Parannoul isn't exactly my cup of tea, but you should definitely listen to it once, I think. It's something special. It might grow on me, though, because I only listened to it for the first time last month.

On the other hand, I listened to Scaring the hoes by Jpegmafia and Danny Brown a while ago, and while this one is definitely not my cup of tea, it's also a ton of fun and I don't feel like a single second of my time was wasted on it. You should listen to it for the samples alone, and just out of sheer curiosity if nothing else.

A kiss for the whole world by Enter Shikari is a weird beast, because the singles are absolutely incredible, but then the rest is a big pile of nothing (at least in my opinion). But the singles, man. I really don't know how to judge it as a whole, the quality is on a rollercoaster.

Kind of the same thing happened with Electric Sun by VNV Nation, one of my favorite bands of all times if not my favorite, if you recall. Some tracks completely floored me, the rest was meh. Oh well. Noire was so incredibly good that I can live with an average VNV album dropping after it.

Fanfare by Dorian Electra was full of absolute bangers but... I don't know, there's some of the madness of the previous record missing. And yes, I'm saying the album containing the minion line (you know the one) is more serious than My Agenda. Go figure. But it's still very good!

Two different friends told me to listen to 4D by Blank Banshee, so I did, obviously. Great electro album. Send tweet

I'm not entirely sure what to think of Atta by Sigur Rós. I cried several times while listening to it for the first time and it's a genuinely impressive series of tracks, but it's also so devastating I've only relistened to it twice since then.

I only discovered Svalbard a couple of years ago, and this year they dropped The weight of the mask, which might be even better than their previous album. It's mostly about depression and trying to fake normality while being depressed. Not a very pleasant topic, and yet this is full of energy and... hope? Everything sounds unbearably bright and between the screams, you feel like everything will be better eventually. Great stuff.

Speaking of depression, there's also No joy by Spanish Love Songs. If you recall their previous album was my album of the year a few lists ago. Their sound changed slightly, and at times it almost sounds like The Killers, but not in a bad way. There's a couple of tracks I don't like very much, but the writing is still on point, and some tracks are among my faves I put in the "unelligible songs" part.

Census Designated by Jane Remover, on the other hand, came out of nowhere just to kick me in the face. I don't even know what to say about that one. Go listen to it.

I found Gunship almost by accident a few months ago, and they immediately dropped a new album, called Unicorn. It's just a huge pile of great synthpop through and through - if you don't mind a couple of really stupid lines (godddd that third track is full of them). The other downside is that it's way too long (more than an hour), and if it was up to me, I'd remove at least four tracks from it. Unlike...

...10000 gecs by, who else, 100 gecs. It's less than half an hour long and it's so fun and so varied in its sounds and so stupid while still being incredibly well produced. For the longest time I couldn't decide which one of the last five albums on this list was my favorite, and then I relistened to all of them in a row and felt compelled to play this one a second time after I was done. Definitely worth the wait.

Unelligible Songs

This is kind of a non-hits rec list of sorts, but you know the drill. I also have to mention that two songs from previous lists (The Magic Key by One-T and Dernière Danse by Kyo 2003 represents) recharted this year for some unfathomable reason.

Gonna start with my fave tracks on some of the albums I already mentioned. Because why not.

The only song I consider great on the Depeche Mode album was People are good which sounds like character development considering People are people also exists

Speaking of Depeche Mode, one band arguably out-depeche-moded them this year so let me introduce you to ††† (Crosses) with Ghost ride, Invisible hand and Holier

Lil Uzi Vert is next with Suicide doors and its deranged intro immediately followed by FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR BITCH then Uzi following that by stating they're the Crow. Yes, really. Also there's Werewolf, literally a Bring Me The Horizon song with Lil Uzi Vert on it, and if I had a nickel every time that happened this year I'd have two nickels, which isn't much but-

Wait let me interrupt this list with another song called Werewolf which I've listened to WAY too much this year. It's the kind of song you listen to ironically at first but after the tenth time that happens you realise it's no longer ironic and you love it for real. Seeing Motionless In White live kinda helped, not gonna lie, but still

For Enter Shikari, we have A kiss for the whole world, Bloodshot, and especially [pls] set me on fire, which might be one of my most listened to tracks of 2023, actually

VNV Nation had Wait, Invictus, and Artifice, which are all absolute bangers in my opinion. Ronan is angry and we love to hear it

By the way this year Pink released an extremely VNV-like song called Trustfall and it's very good but also uncanny

Kylie Minogue is also doing something vaguely similar with Hold on to now but in a more mainstream normal way btw

And then for something completely different, we have Dorian Electra singing about obsessive fans on Symphony, fame on Wanna be a star, and most importantly writing anon hate and immediately deleting it on anon

Run is the first track of the Blank Banshee album I rec'd and it's only one minute long so listen to it maybe

Technically I can recommend Gold if you want some taste of the Sigur Rós album but you need to listen to the entire album to get the full crushing effect

Svalbard isn't going to lighten up the mood with How to Swim Down and Faking it

Neither is Spanish Long Songs with Clean-up crew, Marvel, Here you are and Lifers, the last one being notable for having what's possibly my fave bridge of the entire year, and all of them for being endlessly quotable. Stay alive out of spite everyone

Also not lightening up the mood is Jane Remover with Census Designated on the album also called Census Designated

But what's this? It's Gunship with a steel chair trying to punch some joy into this list with Holographic heart, Nuclear Date Night, Taste like venom and Monster in paradise!!

And the gecs with a second steel ch- wait no it's a plastic chair shaped like a frog. Anyway here's Dumbest girl alive and Hollywood baby, and both of them go wayyy harder than they have any rights to

ok that was a lot of songs already. Here's Everything goes on by Porter Robinson as a palate cleanser

Also the first reggaeton song to ever end on one of my playlists, Sci-fi by Tainy and Rauw Alejandro

Also I'm gonna put a gif here otherwise Tumblr won't let me post something with such a long uninterrupted list in it

Ok back to the list of recs

Let's get the humiliation out of the way and say that this year I listened to Raining blood but it's super emo more than I ever listened to Raining blood in all my years combined

Oh yeah and Linkin Park released some old (finished and unfinished) tracks from the Meteora era and I'm kinda pissed off cause Lost missed the year end list. Fighting myself is excellent too, and if you want a really heartwrenching unfinished track, Resolution has a giant Chester-shaped hole where its chorus should be and the lyrics make it even worse. You're welcome

Possibly the most mainstream song on this entire rec list but I'm also pissed off Bad Idea right? by Olivia Rodrigo didn't chart enough to count for my top ten hit songs

I can offer you Eat the acid by Kesha if you want an awesome but mildly disturbing listening experience

For some electro/future pop here's Head over heels by Solitary Experiments

Wait there's also Bring the noise by Neuroticfish

Over is there if you need some Chvrches doing some Chvrching

Justice for Gladiator by Jann

Pointing at Even Jesus got the blues by Gabe Lee and saying I would listen to more country if it sounded half as good as that song, not like anyone cares

Holding on to nothing by Sierra. Send tweet

Northwind + Sky-colored dream by Strawberry Hospital and Parasite Heart is just seven minutes of cool pastel screams

And for an absolute goth banger everyone collectively decided to ignore here's Train to Harlem by Korine

I can't get enough of Nosebleeder by Lil Lotus and that's probably mildly embarrassing at my age but I've decided to stay mildly embarrassing forever

kisses by Slowdive if you want vibes and vibes only

Blood and sugar by Boys Like Girls if, like me, you want something that sounds exactly like The 1975

Choose your fighter by Ava Max if you want something that sounds exactly like Barbie Girl

I really wish I could explain what my feelings are every time I listen to The King by Anjimile but the only thing I'm sure about is that I'm feeling something a LOT and that it's terrifying

On a lighter note here's Mall rat by Durry, a very upbeat pop punk song about mall goth teenagers having fun and it's extremely good, listen to it immediately if you're having a bad day

And as some of you might have expected because of that previous gif, we're gonna finish with some Bring Me The Horizon, who have joined my list of favorite bands alarmingly quickly (that new album can't drop soon enough), and let's just say LosT and especially AmEN! were some of my absolute fave non-hit songs this year. Seriously. What the fuck was that.

And now, some elligible hits that didn't make the list.

Honorable Mentions

Tiki Taka (Vacra) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years.

Shining Light (Aime Simone) - I wish I liked that artist more.

Unholy (Sam Smith & Kim Petras) - At first I didn't like this one, and then I headcanoned Kim Petras as a girl in a confessional and Sam Smith as the priest on the other side looking concerned but also weirdly into it, and suddenly it was a really funny song.

Dance the night away (Dua Lipa) - I'm pretty sure that's the song Chained to the Rhythm by Katy Perry is talking about

Casanova (Soolking) - This is a borderline guilty pleasure, and also it sounds like Magic System. Which is a bonus, by the way.

Calm Down (Rema) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years 2: the sequel

Rush (Ayra Starr) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years 3: the sequel to the sequel

Strangers (Kenya Grace) - Very good low-key track to play when you're driving at night

Bloody Mary (Lady Gaga) - What can I say. It's Lady Gaga. It's good.

I remember everything (Zach Bryan) - And for "songs that would be on the list if I had good taste-"

Going going gone (Luke Combs) - The last cut from the list. Great earworm, good writing.

THE ACTUAL TOP TEN LIST

This is a very solid list, actually. All of these things are still on some of my playlists to this day.

10 - Bad Habit (Steve Lacy)

US: #39 / FR: Not on the list

This was the last cut from my 2022 top 10 and it was a painful one, so imagine my joy when I saw it was elligible for this year's list too! Welcome back, Steve Lacy, your little song is still an earworm and a half even after all this time.

9 - Cruel Summer (Taylor Swift)

US: #18 / FR: Not on the list

I have no idea how a song that rhymes "oh woah oh" with "summer" can sound so good. Well played, madam. Well played.

8 - Star Walkin' (Lil Nas X)

US: Not on the list / FR: #67

Not the best Lil Nas X song by a mile, and still quite good! It plays a lot at the gym for some reason. The hype is real, even after hearing it pretty much every hour on the hour. And despite that weird, weird line about his dad.

Very surprised it's not on the US year-end list, by the way.

7 - Vois sur ton chemin (Bennett)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69

If you're creeped out by the AI-generated kids in the music video, I think that's kind of the point, which is why I can tolerate it for once.

Anyway, this is a remix of a choir song about lost kids, originally from a retro movie called Les Choristes which came out back when I was a teenager. And now it's been turned into a somewhat creepy techno remix of itself, and you know what's bad about that? Not a single thing actually. Play it again.

6 - Fast Car (covered by Luke Combs)

US: #8 / FR: Not on the list

If you remember correctly, Fast Car was the number one song of the very first list I made in this series (1988). And since this cover is so similar to the original song, I considered making it non-elligible for this list. I counted it in the end but put it kinda low compared to the original. It's only fair.

5 - Anti-hero (Taylor Swift)

US: #4 / FR: Not on the list

I was pretty indifferent to this one at the beginning of the year, but it slowly but surely grew on me. Everything has already been said about this song. So yeah, it's very good. I like it. It's on the list.

Moving on!

4 - Substitution (Purple Disco Machine x Kungs)

US: Not on the list / FR: #56

Some songs just make you want to move every single time you hear them, without fail. The thing is, this one plays a LOT on the radio in public settings, so catch me dancing in the aisles of the local supermarket every time it's on. It's like some memetic SCP bullshit.

At this point, it should be possible to make a great playlist with all the best retro-sounding hits we got in the past five years or so - and yeah, put this one on it too, for sure.

3 - Miracle (Ellie Goulding, Calvin Harris)

US: Not on the list / FR: #51

At some point this was my number one, and can you really blame me? An Ellie Goulding song with a drop that sounds exactly like a Robert Miles track? Really?

Then I realised I loved Robert Miles' tracks because of that dreamy piano/synth melody they all have, and that this song only had a drop/musical chorus that sounded like that, so something was missing. Oh well. Still a fantastic dance track, though.

2 - Escapism (Raye)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

Welcome to the other side of most of The Weeknd songs, I guess, but that's also what makes this track so compelling. The intro sounds like anxiety, and even when the song gets more pleasant to listen to it just never goes completely away - just like in the lyrics, in fact. Well written, well produced, everything is on point and if I had better taste it would probably be number one on this list.

Alas, I am what I am.

1 - Just wanna rock (Lil Uzi Vert)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

At some point, this was the third song on the list. Why shouldn't it be? It's so brainless compared to Escapism, and laughably short compared to Miracle. It's just a fragment of a song. It sounds like the intro of a track that will never start.

It's also by far my most replayed hit song on this entire top ten list and I can't justify that in any way. So yeah, putting anything else here felt like lying to myself. The fact it never really starts also means the hype never really ends. Going "daaaaaaaaaaaamn" along with Uzi's distorted vocals is so satisfying.

I just wanna rock, man. What a vibe. See you next year!

[spaceless-vacuum]

Ok so I read how if Zelda knows all about Link's yandere tendencies and how she's all for it, but what if they're both yanderes for Reader?

I have several small fics in progress that involve these ideas but I think that this is a really fun deal to play around with. Especially if the darling isn't that easy to get to. Having a Hylian darling who can easily be swooped away to share under the safety of the castle is really fun but I favorite ones where the darling isn't so easily taken. If you wanted me to talk about how the two of them interact with each other sharing a darling that’s cool as well but for now here's this.

So to start I love the idea of a darling who's royalty or a noble from a different nation. The dynamics of how the three would have to interact through the lens of civility and politics. God I love it so much. Link being praised for his skills and resting himself as a hero by taking care of problems around the kingdom. Using the praise he gets to curry favour so he can get closer to you.

What? Don't you want the hero to guard them? He's the best you've got might as well use him.

Zelda plays into this. He stays by your side and reports back to her while she gathers information and starts to formulate ideas for how to get you into her kingdom for a change. All they would need to keep you there is to extend a formal invitation, something to keep the two places together. Who could deny such a request made by such an impressive princess after all?

The hard part is figuring out how to keep you there. Messengers could only be stalled for so long and the lie of a troubled road delaying your return can only keep your nobles happy for so long. If you're just a noble from a small house then it's not a big deal. However for people who are higher up and have more sway things like this are a more delicate matter.

Yet her highness isn't just here for pleasantries. If the hero and princess have returned that can only mean one thing and that's possibly facing an inevitable collapse.

I can so see the two of them taking you to Hyrule a before the tragedy (Twilight realm, Ganon, calamity, or whatever else hit) and having you never return home because of it. Maybe they told you that either you died. Why would anyone come to look for you? The worst came to fruition and now that everyones done mourning they've all forgotten about you. Not a single soul is coming to your aid.

This would only work assuming they could keep you safe while the storm hits but I have a feeling that it wouldn't be too difficult for them to plan something out. If the castle isn't safe they can send you anywhere else and have you guarded by the greatest warriors. Just stay away from where the fires are and you'll be fine.

Not to just talk about royalty but imagine if you were part of a nation waging war against Hyrule or at least on their enemies list. Kidnapping is bad but if they're your enemy then it’s just ransom! Them placing a huge price on your head, and sending back a duplicate. They not only get to bleed your nobility's pockets dry as a way to make you repay the damages your country has done but it will also double as a way to keep you even after filling their end of the contract.

Zelda watching you plan and offer any help you can to the war effort. She's both challenged by you and in awe as you hold your ground as people talk over you and chatter about issues that don't currently need your attention. She waits patiently as you throw out excellent ideas only to have them all shut down. Meanwhile she's controlling several heads of states and making sure you're discredited and seen as someone who can't be trusted. She's placing evidence for after you leave to make sure even if you get back to your homeland it'll be in disgrace so there's no nowhere to run.

Taking the field in battle and having Link absolutely decimate you. You think you could handle yourself in a fight against a bunch of common soldiers only to be relentlessly targeted by the best Hyrule has to offer. Watching helplessly as he just won't stop chasing you into swathes of enemy soldiers. He’s rushing across the front lines and enemy fortifications just to make sure he can have his hands on you before you can rush away. Everyone is horrified and shocked as he just sweeps the floor with your people only to find you and drag you to a secluded spot where Zelda can pick him up.

Both of them pick you up and carry you away to Hyrule. Your whole life is flipped upside down. No you can't go outside because they don't need an enemy making plans and trying to sneak away. Yet that doesn't answer the questions as to why you're still here if they don't trust you.

Man this scratches an itch in my brain because of the tension of the reader not wanting to give up their country or homeland but also it's so hard when you're being swooned by these two gorgeous individuals, and by god they know it. They have access to everything they need to make you talk but they never seem to focus on that. Rather the interrogation in a large comfortable room with lots of snacks and refreshments is far too comfortable to hold any real threat. Sure Link is standing in the corner but he seems to be antsy. He looks away and blushes whenever you turn around to focus all your attention onto him so it can't be helped when you notice that it isn't so bad here.

Yet you can't relax because these are the hostile enemy! The bad guys! Yet this tea is really good.

Plus it's hard to ignore how bad it can be since they control everything now. Maybe this is all so they can drive you deeper into misery when they act on their inevitable betrayal. Even if they never tighten the rope too much there's so many complex layers to this idea and I adore it. Sadly the war is messy so they can't tell you anything about it. Which just means you need to lay a price on how far you're willing to go for them to tell you anything; which is a double edged sword because how can you know if any of it’s true!!

Gah the concept is so interesting to me!!!

I think that's it for now but come back at any time and I’ll rant to you more about these two.

[masterqwertster]

(Am i allowed to send two prompts??? I was reading the list and two jumped out at me 🥺 totally get it if you’d rather not though!!)

21 for the soulblooms au? (Specifically ashton’s special brand of coping, but I’ll take anything in that au if that doesn’t speak to you!)

Prompt You're fine sending two. As my pinned post says among my ask box rules, I don’t mind multiple asks from the same person 😊 Well, that one definitely matches Ashton's self-destructive coping. So have some early days with FCG at the Krook House, as observed by Milo. 21 "Oh, love. What have you done to yourself?"

Milo finds it kind of impressive how much Ashton has tried to clean up his act since bringing Fresh Cut Grass home.

Though they can't say it's particularly surprising.

FCG is one of Ashton's soulmates, somehow, despite being an automaton. And Ashton fucking cares, so much, in spite of their constant attempts to shut their heart away since The Fall. And FCG being the literal baby of their soulmate group at only four years old doesn't give Ashton a lot of room to keep him out. Kids need support, should have support from the adults that take responsibility for them. Even if FCG is as intelligent as the average adult, he just doesn't have the experience to put that knowledge to good use. So it's good that Ashton is taking that step up to be the adult FCG needs in his life.

But change isn't easy, so Milo is equally unsurprised to find Ashton getting absolutely hammered on the couch about an hour or two after FCG has gone into stasis at the end of the first week. They suppose the genasi deserves points for at least waiting until after the automaton has 'gone to bed.'

"Do I even wanna know why you're trying for liver failure tonight?" Milo dryly asks, picking up some stray empty bottles off the floor and lining them up on the coffee table.

"Relentless motherfucker tried to buy Grass off of me," Ashton growls, voice rumbling with shades of Primordial even as the words slur. "Wanted to drop 'em down the Shaft, see how much they bounced 'fore they hit the bottom."

Milo winces. They can certainly understand being upset about someone trying to buy your soulmate from you. That is undeniably fucked up. Just fucking awful. ...And throwing someone down the catwalk-crossed core of the Fownsee Hollow would definitely send the message for everyone else to back the fuck off.

"FCG talk you out of it?" Milo asks, morbidly curious as to how such a bastard managed to escape that fate.

"Didn' even have t' fuckin' talk," Ashton huffs, the strong scent of alcohol wafting off their breath. "Jus' acted all nervous 'nd scared. Didn' want them scared of me," they finish morosely, and drain their current bottle.

"Buddy," Milo says with all sympathy.

The worst part is, they can't deny that sometimes, Ashton is scary. And he loyally owes them his life, would never bring Milo harm if he could avoid it. Yet it doesn't change the fact that the genasi cuts a frightfully intimidating figure when he's in a fury, out to render someone to a bloody pulp.

"It shouldn' be fuckin' me!" Ashton roars, mood shifted. Alongside those words, they slam the bottle clenched in their hand onto the coffee table, disregarding the shattering glass and cracking wood.

"Whoa! Hey, hey! Let's not wreck the house!" Milo panics, clutching Ashton's arm. Not that it'll do much good if Ashton decides he's not done. It's well within his capability to lift their entire weight one-handed.

"It shouldn't 've been me who found Grass," Ashton sadly mumbles, flopping back into the couch, mood changed again. "'M not good at takin' care of people."

Which is such a fucking lie it isn't even funny, Milo thinks. Ashton may be shit at taking care of themself in any healthy way, but they have an amazing amount of compassion and care for others in them despite the difficulties life has thrown their way again and again. They can hardly think of someone better at caring in the ways that truly count.

Any reassurance they would have offered is cut off by rapid thumping on the stairs accompanied by the rattling of metal.

"Are y'all alright? What's goin' on? I heard a loud noise and I got blooms!" Fresh Cut Grass shouts in a panic as they roll into the room, holding out a hand full of thistles.

Milo can't help but notice that's the same hand Ashton had smashed bottles and the coffee table with. And they notice the way Ashton stiffens at his soulmate's voice, guilt and shame flashing across his face before it's hidden behind a lazy mask.

"It's fine, Grass. Just wasn't being careful," Ashton slowly explains, obviously trying to cover their drunken slur to Milo's practiced ear.

"Oh. You hurt yourself?" and there's note to FCG's voice that makes Milo believe that he doesn't quite buy what Ashton's trying to sell. And from what they've heard about Dancer, it's probably not the first time the young automaton has come across a drunken mess of his caretaker.

"Well, I- I can at least heal you?" Fresh Cut Grass hesitantly offers.

"They're just little scratches. I've had worse," Ashton dismisses, studying the dark blood slowly welling in their hand.

"Yeah, I know. But that doesn't mean these cuts don't need healin' too," FCG gently argues.

Ashton stares at the automaton, searching for something. Then they offer the injured hand to him.

Fresh Cut Grass doesn't hesitate to take the stone hand between his own metal ones, and with a small burst of magic, heals the cuts. Glass tinkles as it hits the ground, the magic pushing the embedded glass fragments out of the genasi's hand so it can properly heal.

And Milo can see something looser, calmer in Ashton at this small bit of care. They guess that, in a way, Ashton was scared of Fresh Cut Grass. More specifically, that his soulmate wouldn't be able to handle his Ashton-ness, that they'd leave him like the Nobodies did. But FCG cares too, and caring is one of the few things the automaton won't be easily deterred on.

It's a good change happening in the Krook House, Milo thinks.

[dreamcrow]

I need some Hot Crow Takes on what was the worst example of Villain Decay throughout ToA. also on what Leonora Janeth uses in her hair

send me a meta prompt (currently closed); thank you for the ask!

the arcane and esoteric mysteries of janeth's haircare regimen are beyond my humble (straight-haired) supposings. but for the villain decay? oh, morgana, hands down. 

gunmar is spooky, but a bit of a ham. for most of trollhunters, he’s also relatively distant. bular is a lot closer, and much more of an immediate threat, but he’s always ultimately subordinate (either to stricklander or his father) and he does, in the end, get got by a teenager. angor is initially presented as terrifying, and rightly so, but even if he becomes sympathetic he’s always formidable; stricklander starts out pretty nefarious (especially if you think about some of the implications of e.g. feeding bular a human security guard) but is of course, in proper gdt fashion, domesticated by wuv. obviously i have niche side blorbo brain fungus re: the arcane order but it's hard to assess their actual "villain decay" without having to think about That Film. at any rate, i don't think they're actually the worst example in toa: despite a concept/design that fucks so absolutely severely, once they get on screen, they're not actually built up all that much (or...well). it takes them less than the space of an episode (22 minutes) to go from "dread, ancient terrors that even merlin is afraid of" to "merlin shooing away them, the green knight, and their evil floating skull castle with less effort than he usually spares to criticize douxie." but that's another post.

morgana, though. part of what made her such a compelling villain was how little arthur figured in trollhunters. the existence of merlin implies the existence of arthur, of course, but in trollhunters arthur isn't there at all. instead, we get the negative space of him: his right hand (merlin) and the anti-arthur (morgana). obviously this is partly her role in arthuriana proper, but it also strikes me as pretty deliberate here: merlin's liege vs. merlin's student (and that liege's sister); humanity's last best hope vs. the queen of the otherworld; the king under the mountain vs. the witch under arcadia. i was not very tuned into morgana when i first got into trollhunters, but looking back over the series for this ask, the parallels are so obvious. and so tight! i wouldn't be surprised if some of this was even deliberate.

and the thing is: trollhunters has enough space as a series that its antagonists don't really have to pull their punches. morgana was nasty in trollhunters. pale lady, baba yaga, eldritch queen, mother of monsters—holy shit, right? and she's creepy, too: all muttering whispers and dread ancient magic! she takes angor’s soul, and then his free will. she taunts stricklander while possessing the body of one of his students (while threatening the permanent exile of two more to the depression dimension), and then in the guise of the human he's in love with. speaking to her faithful children—who only exist through morally dubious, unpleasant processes, for which she is implied to be responsible—via institutional heirloom phonograph! she's so much more connected to the shadow realm, here, probably the most compelling justification for reading shadow magic as dangerous. she's the big bad behind angor and gunmar (while playing them both against each other). she absolutely feels evenly paired with merlin, and (rightly) kicks his ass through most of the battle of the eternal night. she's evil but charismatic and even despite all that still a little human: when she taunts jim for not knowing merlin used her hand for the amulet, it isn't without a shadow of what must have been an ancient hurt.

and then. wizards. jesus christ (tired ben affleck smoking dot jpg)

[ » read the rest of the essay on ao3 ]

[isfjmel-phleg]

While researching Ray, I read (most of) Justice League Task Force, which introduced me to a teammate of his whom I was curious enough about to read everything about.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the man who founded the Justice League. It's not who you might think.

...and he's kind of The Worst.

It starts with eight-year-old Will MacIntyre, who has just figured out that his father is a supervillain. Which accounts for a lot. Their family is constantly on the run, Will's mother is perpetually worried, and Will has given up on making friends--no point when every relationship must come to an abrupt end every few weeks. So he's an oddly detached, stoic child, caught up in his own head and full of silent resentment. He doesn't say a word or show any emotion when his father is finally arrested (by Golden Age hero Hourman, of all people) and leaves him with words he'll never forget: "Don't ever be like me, Billy Mac. Ever." Later, Will gets a visit from Hourman, who reinforces this idea; he has a choice of what kind of person he wants to be. And Will decides he wants to be a hero.

Actually, Will's father wasn't a supervillain. He was a small-time henchman. He wasn't cruel to his wife. And Hourman isn't quite worthy of the pedestal that Will puts him on. But this will be a running theme for Will: he develops perceptions of his world that aren't quite the truth and clings to them.

He develops superpowers at puberty--the ability to control electromagnetism. His senses are heightened, he can absorb and project energy, he can manipulate gravity, he can mimic flight and use electromagnetic fields to make himself seem invulnerable--as long as he's consciously thinking about it. So with these new powers, he devotes his life to reinventing himself. He studies science and martial arts and criminology, undergoes physical training obsessively, deliberately isolates himself and neglects his social life. He has a girlfriend at one point, but she dumps him because he's too wrapped up in projects he won't share with her to bother with her.

By the time he's twenty-one, he's a model Silver Age hero: tall, muscular, handsome, powerful, brilliant, and he knows it. He calls himself Triumph.

He then proceeds to found the Justice League. He's joined by some up-and-coming rookie heroes. The Flash. Green Lantern. Aquaman. Martian Manhunter. Black Canary. Superman. Their first mission together is rather rough. Triumph is exasperated with his inexperienced team's inability to keep up with his orders and his grand plans, and some of them take issue with his arrogance. He's very different from, say, Superman, who is notably humble and unassuming; Triumph is Always Right, always several steps ahead of everyone else, and thus is entitled to lead. And he does manage to save the day.

Unfortunately, what he does sends him out of the timestream. When he finally escapes, he hasn't aged a day past twenty-one, but ten years have gone by on earth, most of his JLA team have died or dramatically progressed in their careers, and not a single soul knows or remembers him. He got erased from history for a decade. He returns expecting to resume his former position of prestige without question, but the current heroes view him with suspicion, and fights break out. He manages to prove himself and comes to realize that he needs to work on improving his people skills if he's ever to get anywhere.

To his dismay, where he ends up is the Justice League Task Force, the team for younger, less experienced JLA members, led by Martian Manhunter (J'onn J'onzz). Will remembers J'onn as a peer, someone he used to give orders to, and he's annoyed at being in a subordinate position to him now, but he tries his best to fit in with the team. He starts to connect with Ray Terrill, who's just a couple years younger than him, in particular. Most of their relationship consists of exchanging insults, but they do develop a fondness for each other.

However, adjusting to a world that's gone on without him for ten years is difficult for Will. Grad schools reject his applications because his transcripts are out of date and he lacks the experience they require. He tries to reconnect with his old girlfriend, not to rekindle anything (given what the writer of these stories has said about his intentions for Will's sexuality, the relationship was probably just for appearances anyway) but because he feels he owes her closure. She's in a successful career now and doesn't recognize him (he looks like Will but he's ten years too young to be him!), and he can't bring himself to tell her the truth about himself. But he does find out that his investing in a home shopping TV channel ten years ago (remember, this is the 1990s) has since made him fabulously rich, so he now has the funds to further his career.

His efforts to be Nice and Cooperative don't last long. He clashes with J'onn a lot, questions him, refuses to follow orders. Why should he? He founded the Justice League! He should be leading. So he goes out and buys himself a new team on the side, a group of people devoted to avenging victims of violence. They engage in various Mission: Impossible-esque shenanigans, including Will's insistence on going after his father, newly escaped from prison. His refusal to open up to his team about the reason for this mission, or anything about his personal life, causes some problems. He has to confront his past, but he ends up getting his back broken in a fight and is left alone with no real closure in his relationship with his father.

He doesn't seek medical treatment for his back, just uses his powers to take the pressure off his spine as long as he's awake and can access the electromagnetic field. He doesn't tell his Task Force team about this injury. He refuses to help a desperate Ray who comes to him for assistance with an increasingly severe problem, and as a result alienates his friend from not only himself but the whole team. Triumph has a strategic reason for doing this, but treating his friend like a chess piece backfires. J'onn is not happy and proceeds to first fight and then fire Triumph.

Will refuses to take responsibility for this outcome. It's J'onn's fault that he isn't getting the respect he deserves. With no more team now, he tries to reach out to Ray but gets brushed off. So Triumph doesn't have much left. Lots of money, a broken back that privately causes him horrible pain, damaged relationships with the closest things to friends he's ever had, ten years of his life missing, and no more future with the team he founded. And this is where the demon Neron approaches him with an offer. Those ten years of his life back, in exchange for his soul. He gives Will a candle to light whenever he's ready to seal the deal.

Will agonizes over this choice. He knows he shouldn't, but the power and prestige that he believes is his destiny, his just due, is awfully tempting, and he keeps the candle ready in reserve.

Nevertheless, at Christmas, he turns up unexpectedly at a JLA party, apologizes to J'onn, and tries to make amends. J'onn forgives him, and everything seems fine again--until it comes out that forgiveness doesn't mean restoration to the team. Triumph's pride is once again insulted, and he blows up at everyone and leaves in a huff. Once alone, he's angry at himself for this failure to control himself and is ready to light that candle and start over. One of his Task Force teammates tries to convince him that he's really a good person, because he saved her life once. He counters that he did it because it wouldn't have looked good not to do, but eventually he comes to realize that that act was worthwhile, that his relationships with his friends are something he wouldn't want to give up. He's able to reconcile with them, including Ray, and he decides to abandon the candle and go back to J'onn for another apology.

Just as he's doing this, elsewhere his friends find the candle, mistake it for something else, and light it.

The timeline is reset.

Triumph is ten years older. No one on the JLA remembers him. They're having that party without him. The teammate whose life he saved is still alive even without his having been there. He apparently left no impact at all.

He walks away into the snow, just as the friends he lost are singing "Auld Lang Syne."

That was where his original writer left him, but years later another writer brought him back, soulless and evil, driven by sheer envy, trying to take over the JLA. They take him down by freezing him and keeping him stored away in the trophy room, along with a sign declaring him the founder of the Justice League. He is inadvertently killed some time later when the Watchtower is destroyed.

Not really a necessary coda for him--the story was tragic enough leaving him alone again with the consequences of his pride. But the character was highly unpopular with readers, and thoroughly villainizing him and removing him from the picture must have seemed like the thing to do.

There's really not a lot of material for this character. His solo wasn't very well-executed--tried to do too much with too little space. But writer Christopher Priest has a fascinating analysis that delves into what he had in mind, even though apparently it didn't go down well with a lot of readers, and what he had hoped to explore in Triumph's solo, and that's what caught my attention the most.

Will is so intent on building himself into a hero that he neglects to cultivate what would truly make him one: his humanity. He's so concerned with appearances that there's almost nothing sincere left in him. He's so caught up in his own cleverness and sense of personal destiny (glorious purpose?) that he can't see the people around him as anything other than pawns for him to maneuver. He's so afraid of feeling hurt and powerless again that he won't let anyone in, and it invariably ends with him alone. He knows just what a jerk he is, and he wants to change, but not enough to actually do it and stick to it. The lies he's told himself for so long are too much a part of him to give up. And just when he's finally making a breakthrough and realizing that human connection is worth the existence he considers humiliating--the consequences of his pride and its weakness catch up to him. The original end of his story reads a bit like a chilling reverse-It's a Wonderful Life in which he has to realize how little his existence has meant to anyone. He has gotten his wish, he has become what he has been crafting himself into nearly his whole life...and lost his soul, in every possible sense.

It could have been so different. But he wouldn't let it.

I've been rotating this story in my head all week now.

[firendgold]

If you're still doing the choose violence ask game: 2 (👀), 9, 10, 22 ?

I got such a rush from finally answering the first ask that I'm doing this for as long as people send me questions. So here we go again!

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

anon, I'm at work. I'm seeing this at work. :'D

Okay, serious face. Albus Dumbledore is probably my fave if I have to choose between him and Harry on this blog. I just have to figure out why he would never...

Bottom. Albus would never, I'm sorry. He won't. He can't. Like, maybe when he was having his whirlwind summer romance with Gellert, he bottomed every single time they fucked because he was so in love and this was his equal and his partner and so what if he was a little rough and distant sometimes in the bedroom, and always wanted to top and tug his hair and hiss out orders? This was The Man The Universe Had Crafted For Him, and he would absolutely bottom for him every time... and then the summer of 1899 ends. And Ariana dies. And Aberforth breaks Albus' nose. And Gellert fucks off to go be a fascist.

And Albus, alone and heartbroken, resolves to never trust someone that completely again, never love someone that same way, and never let anyone get into a position of power over him where they might be able to use his knowledge and talents for ill. That means physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically... carnally. So he has sex with plenty of other people, and even falls in love with a few of them, but he is in control at all times. He never bottoms again.

That's all I've got for that one.

9. worst part of canon

So the first answer that came to mind is posted here, but for fairness' sake I'll try to come up with another worst thing. (That's not related to ships, because I'm trying really hard not to be THAT violent on the violence ask game.)

I think... that if That Woman was going to introduce international schools, students and characters in the middle book of the series, she should have done more with them than having them vanish after Goblet of Fire, only to come back for either fake romantic tension and one line of exposition about the Hitler allegory Dark Lord of the Before-Times (Krum, Deathly Hallows) or to be married off to a Weasley for an aesop of It's Not About His Looks Now That They're Jacked Up (Fleur, Half-Blood Prince). I'm not saying Fleur and Viktor HAD to be best buddies forever with Harry, but it is weird that they have this unique bond that no other young students have had with each other in hundreds of years, they even lost one of their fellow champions, Dumbledore gives this very moving speech about remaining connected and not letting darkness and prejudice sever new ties, and then... nothing. No side adventures in France or wherever Durmstrang is, no communication from either side, nothing.

Feels like a huge letdown in hindsight.

10. worst part of fanon

Oh, no. That's not fair. There's just so many.

If I had to consolidate what I currently don't like about the HP fandom/fanon into a few lines, I think I would say that I hate the pureblood/Dark side apologism. I do believe in nuance in characters. I do believe redemption and/or walking different paths is an important theme in Harry Potter, and I think it's fascinating to explore that with any and every character you can think of, even characters I may not personally like. But I really, really hate the way the fandom has taken that and twisted it into this idea that we were sold a lie at the start: that the British magical government was fine the way it was, and so was the society around it; that Dark magic Isn't All That Bad, Really, and there are actually Good and non-prejudiced things about a few rich bitches passing down their knowledge and secrets and slurs for generations within the Family, and keeping the Family "Pure" is cool actually, and none of this has any relation to real life ideas about miscegenation and classism and racism and eugenics, what are you talking about?

It's just so worrying. As a minority, when I see people on tumblr/twitter/AO3 gleefully agreeing that we need to eat the rich and fix society and eradicate all the horrid -isms and -archys ruining all our lives, then watch them turn around and write a 200k epic where Dumbledore was the evil one for locking the Horcrux books away and championing marginalized members of society, Hermione is just uppity for wanting to make necessary changes to the darker parts of magical society that That Woman was literally pointing out for a reason, and Tom Riddle is only bad because he took the good segregationist pureblood ideas and added murder to them... and when that fic gets thousands of comments agreeing with them full stop with no examination of any of that... it makes me anxious, at a minimum. The same thing is happening now with Grindelwald now that he's actually a figure on the screen and not just some dude mentioned a few times in the book series: same apologism, same justification of atrocities, same good-guy-blame-games, same blorbofication even.

On the one hand... fiction doesn't always directly reflect or affect reality. On the other... this unironic pro-pureblood meta is a pervasive concept that has popped up in thousands of fics written by thousands of fanfic writers. It's happened for years, and it keeps happening, and I see very few fans speaking out against it or even acknowledging it as a problem. So that makes me ask myself, who actually is willing and able to examine the injustices of our society and build a better imaginary society through the lens of HP fanfiction, and who's okay with the prejudice in the HP world as long as it's coming from the faves they're attracted to?

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Happily, this is a harder question to answer because I've been finding so many like minds in the past 5 years who go feral over the same 20 HP scenes as I do. ^^ But give me a sec, I'll think of something.

...

Okay. Got it.

In order to answer this question, I have to go back to the first time I, young teenager, avid reader, recent reader of the HP series once book 5 was out, realized that Harry and Dumbledore had a much deeper relationship than just headmaster and student. The thing that made me latch on to them and project like crazy, basically.

It's the scene in Goblet of Fire chapter 36 where Harry has been rescued from Fake Moody and he's in Dumbledore's office with Dumbledore and Sirius. Dumbledore asks Harry to relay everything that happened to him once he touched the Portkey in the maze—and immediately Sirius tries to protect Harry from having to relive it now, so soon after it's happened. And then this scene happens.

Dumbledore stopped talking. He sat down opposite Harry, behind his desk. He was looking at Harry, who avoided his eyes. Dumbledore was going to question him. He was going to make Harry relive everything. “I need to know what happened after you touched the Portkey in the maze, Harry,” said Dumbledore. “We can leave that till morning, can’t we, Dumbledore?” said Sirius harshly. He had put a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Let him have a sleep. Let him rest.” Harry felt a rush of gratitude toward Sirius, but Dumbledore took no notice of Sirius’s words. He leaned forward toward Harry. Very unwillingly, Harry raised his head and looked into those blue eyes. “If I thought I could help you,” Dumbledore said gently, “by putting you into an enchanted sleep and allowing you to postpone the moment when you would have to think about what has happened tonight, I would do it. But I know better. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you. I ask you to demonstrate your courage one more time. I ask you to tell us what happened.” The phoenix let out one soft, quavering note. It shivered in the air, and Harry felt as though a drop of hot liquid had slipped down his throat into his stomach, warming him, and strengthening him. He took a deep breath and began to tell them. As he spoke, visions of everything that had passed that night seemed to rise before his eyes; he saw the sparkling surface of the potion that had revived Voldemort; he saw the Death Eaters Apparating between the graves around them; he saw Cedric’s body, lying on the ground beside the cup. Once or twice, Sirius made a noise as though about to say something, his hand still tight on Harry’s shoulder, but Dumbledore raised his hand to stop him, and Harry was glad of this, because it was easier to keep going now he had started. It was even a relief; he felt almost as though something poisonous were being extracted from him. It was costing him every bit of determination he had to keep talking, yet he sensed that once he had finished, he would feel better.

This is one of the best scenes in the entire book, the entire series. It completely refutes the fanon Dumbledore who is often cold, cruel, inflexible and unrelenting in his quest for whatever the author wants him to be inflexible and cruel about at the time. It shows that Dumbledore, the real Albus Dumbledore, is one of the few people who understands what Harry needs and is able to provide it to him, even when others who also care for Harry would rather protect him or shield him from what he needs.

Kid me was particularly taken by how gentle Dumbledore is with Harry here. It made me look back and see how in some ways this scene, this closeness, is the culmination of all the times they've met and spoken before.

(You can imagine how painful it was reading Order of the Phoenix right after this.)

But yeah, that's probably one of my favorite scenes that other people ignore or haven't talked about/drawn/written about much. Which is ironic, because the scene right after that where Harry talks about Voldemort taking his blood and Dumbledore's eyes do the triumphant "lol Voldemort just fucked up" gleam is probably one of THE most talked-about scenes in the fandom (even though to this fucking day in 2023 people still don't realize what the gleam meant, when even That Woman has clarified what it meant in INTERVIEWS).

...And for me, safely at the end of the questions, that's all she wrote.

[sodiumlamp]

Picard

I just did the math, and Star Trek: Picard is approximately 22.5 fucking grueling hours, so that made me kind of sad.

This episode tries. It doesn't quite succeed, but I see the effort and I appreciate it. I'd like to believe that this marks a turning of the corner, and the rest of this season will get better, but it's too late to redeem this series, which currently stands as one of the all-time worst shows I've ever seen.

With a lot of bad media, I will often see apologists offering up defenses like "It had some good ideas, but they were poorly executed." And I have watched TV shows where that simply isn't true. The ideas were bad and the execution was bad, so it was bad all around. Picard, on the other hand, actually does have some pretty great ideas. There's a lot of stuff that would totally work if only it were being done anywhere else but here. And that's actually more tragic, because Star Trek Picard is like this graveyard where good ideas go to die. And of course, they're buried alongside a ton of bad ideas, which the show also has.

All right, so in this episode, they're stuck in the gravity well of a nebula that isn't actually a nebula, and they've only got four hours left to live. The gang have hit rock bottom, but they slowly start to dig their way out, which is kind of uplifting to see. Riker admits to Picard that he was right about not wanting to fight the Shrike. Picard spends some QT with his new son Jack Crusher. Seven and Captain Shaw have to work together to flush out the Changeling saboteur. Beverly figures out that the nebula is actually some sort of alien womb, because it's sending out energy pulses at regular intervals, comparable to a human experiencing contractions during childbirth.

I mean, that last part is pretty ridiculous, but I'll allow it, because it's on-brand for Star Trek. Still... I'm beginning to wonder if anyone in Starfleet has ever seen an actual nebula before. It just seems like this thing turned out to be very different from a nebula, which makes me wonder why anyone thought it was a nebula in the first place.

Anyway, they finally come up with a plan to use the energy pulses from the space-womb to carry the ship back out before they all die. It mostly relies on this weird premise that's also on-brand for Star Trek: that all starships can magically be drained of their power, or absorb power like a sponge. In this case, Bev can predict the next wave, so once they're prepared they can just time it right and use the power of the wave to re-energize the ship. When they escape, they're treated to a swarm of alien squid creatures born from the "nebula".

So what's the problem? Well, two main issues here. First, even though there's a happy ending to this crisis, this episode gets really fucking dark. The crew morale is in the toilet. Riker confesses that he's in a profound depression from the death of his son, so he left his family to get back into space just to try and feel something. He tries recording a message for his family when he thinks they're all going to die, and when the others come to him with their escape plan, he's so despondent that he thinks it would be better to wait for a rescue, because at least that way the ship might still be intact and they could leave something behind. I don't know what the hell happened between Season 1 and this, but that's a pretty dark mindset he's in.

We also learn that Jack approached Picard years ago, without telling him who he was, and asked Picard if he ever considered having a family, and Picard replies that Starfleet was the only family he ever needed, which would have been an innocuous comment except he was saying it to his son without even realizing it, so that's really grim. Also, Jack has some spooky hallucinations near the end of the episode. I guess he really is his father's son, since Picard had the prophetic dreams in Season 1 and the Silent Hill jumpscare flashbacks in Season 2.

Oh, and there's a lot of body bags in this thing. It's kind of tough to appreciate the Titan surviving this mess when you see so many crewmen who definitely did not survive it.

Oh, and Captain Shaw is high on painkillers and he finally opens up about why he's such a giant douche: Turns out he was at Wolf 359, and he and 50 of his closest friends had to figure out which ten of them got to use the only functioning escape pod. Did anyone actually die at Wolf 359? The way I remember it, there were a lot of broken hulls and the Enterprise scanned for life signs and found none. But Sikso got out and Shaw got out. Shaw describes himself as a "dipshit from Chicago," and I gotta admit, ripping off Ben Sisko's origin story is a pretty dipshit move. I'm voluntarily subjecting myself to Star Trek: Picard, so I can't judge.

Oh, right, there were two issues with this episode, but there was so much dark stuff in this one that I got sidetracked.

The other issue is that they just sort of blew off the original problem that got them in trouble in the first place: The Shrike. On their way out of the "nebula" they almost run right into it, but Riker uses the tractor beam to snag an asteroid and fling it into the Shrike before it can attack. It's kind of cool that he got his groove back and managed to one-shot this enemy that had seemed unstoppable a few hours earlier, but it also undermines all the buildup we had with the Shrike in the previous two episodes.

The Shrike's captain looks like she's auditioning for the role of Oswald Cobblepot. She acts like a maniac, and her ship is supposed to be loaded with incredibly powerful weapons. When Titan falls into the gravity well of the "nebula" she cuts off her own hand, which then turns into a floating head and it orders her to pursue the Titan and recover Jack Crusher at all costs, and she reluctantly obeys. The Shrike sucks and she sucks as a villain, and Episodes 2 and 3 sucked, but I assumed they were going somewhere with all of this. Instead, Riker throws a rock at them and that seems to solve everything.

I mean, they didn't destroy the Shrike, so maybe it comes back to menace Picard later, but we spent three episodes on it and I'm not impressed at all. I'm certainly not looking forward to a rematch.

Worf isn't in this one, which is pretty disappointing, but it allowed the episode to focus on the A-plot, which was a good thing. Also we get a day off from Raffi's nonsense. Wait, that means we'll probably have to get double the Raffi in the next episode. Where the fuck is Geordi, anyway? They promised us the whole TNG crew would reunite for Season 3, and we can barely get more than three of them in a single place. At least Worf and Troi are in the show, though. Data's not around, but he's dead, so what's Geordi's excuse?

[prismatoxic]

U don't need to respond to this bc I don't want to be the pebble to avalanche that starts this discussion but why are there so many fancops in the MGS fandom of all things, I feel like I'm always seeing truly deranged takes about fanworks

my overwhelming anxiety every time i get an unexpected message is going to give me a heart attack someday. this is not your fault and i welcome messages (please send me messages) but jesus christ the fancop trauma is REAL

a n y w a y

tbh i got an ask a while ago about how the mgs fandom is pretty chill, and in general it's an assessment i agree with! the anti population here isn't as bad as i've seen in my other fandoms (glances at persona)

like, believe me, i get it. why the fuck are they here. we got incest, we got underage, we got age gaps, we got sexual assault, we have Disrespecting Women Juice,

but antis will genuinely make a home for themselves wherever they please and figure out how to justify it afterwards. which is, imo, one of their worst features. they will bend over backwards until their backs break trying to justify why it's fine if they do it, actually.

and it's always worse in friends-to-lovers ships, or ships that can otherwise be read as "vanilla" or "tame". otasune, for example, is mild in concept, the sort of baby's-first-ship anyone can jump into the series with and go "oh, yeah, i can see it". i love otasune, it is my current hyperfocus ship and mgs otp, but regrettably it attracts the bastards on account of being easy to spin as "unproblematic."

as always, the best thing you can do is just block them and keep doing what you like. i've seen people swing really hard the opposite way and make their otps dead dove all the time forever, which is fine obviously, but it does ring a little hollow when it's just done in retaliation.

personally i like things both ways. i love fucked up otasune aus and cutesy fluffy vanilla bullshit. but, i mean, at the end of the day, you just gotta do whatever sparks joy and block the haters on sight, lmao.

sorry for the long answer, i guess i care about this!

[invisiblegarters]

Be My Favorite Ep 11

Last Week: Pear was too decent for anyone in this show, Kwan finally figured out Not is the worst, Kawi and Pisaeng did the do.

This week: my frustration with tumblr is reaching a boiling point, I don't know why I'm even bothering with this when literally no one will even see it. But I truck on because at this point it's habit.

Joy.

Oh interesting, parent meeting about the kiddos. I wonder sometimes if the reason that PIsaeng and Pear were getting married in an alt timeline (at least one of them) is because of these two, but at least in the current one they both seem fairly willing to let their kids be.

And once again, Pear is way nicer than I would be. Mom was selfish. The end. I do get feeling trapped by a life you don't want, but did she not make the decision to be married and have a child? And then she made that child suffer so that she could go off and achieve her dreams, and then had the gall to thank her, to not apologize or appear to feel any remorse for just exiting her life.

But.

But it's probably better for Pear in the long run if she can let go of the bitterness. So for her sake, I'm glad.

Kwan just delete those pics and move on, babe. Not's not worth all this.

So I guess they were going for nerves last week. Clumsily done. So tired of the blushing maiden thing in general, honestly. Can we please retire it forever along with the crazy ex faen trope? Can we please, please, please stop sending the message that one person in the relationship has to be shy and reserved and scared of sex while the other pushes them forward? It's so fucking detrimental, and it just feeds into this idea that to be a "good" girl (or the bottom in BL, because it's always the bottom isn't it? sigh) you can't actually desire sex, can't want it, or you can want it but you also have to pretend not to because good girls don't (but I do). And I'm so so tired of it. SO tired. People have enough hang ups about sex all on their own without media reinforcing this bullshit.

Last week I said that I would hesitantly trust this show with an asexual storyline. I want to take that back now. My trust is revoked, you couldn't handle it properly, show. There's literally nothing wrong with being hesitant about sleeping with someone for the first time (or not wanting to sleep with anyone at all), but there's a way to do it and this show...did not.

Well that theory that the old man is future!Kawi is certainly looking more correct. How else would he know to show up and scold him.

I know how you can get rich, Kawi. Be Pisaeng's sugar baby.

Okay sir, hush your face about in-depth analysis. I am feeling very called out right now.

Yesss thank you dude. It's like with dad. Kawi couldn't prevent his death because he was always going to go. Dad's death is a fixed point. But what Kawi could do - what he finally did do - was fix his relationship with him. He opened up, he told his dad he loves him, he did the work.

Alrighty so we're flashbacking through the rest of college now? This is weird, especially after going through everything else so slowly (if they fast fowarded through a Not redemption I will throw the most massive fit (and for once be glad for this stupid shadowban, since then no one will see the massive tantrum)). If you've done all you meant to why are you not going back to the future (heh) Kawi?

Why is he still asking this question?

And now we're montaging through living together. This ep is turning into the Oprah of montages - and you get a montage! And you get a montage. This makes me more certain than ever that Pisaeng has been doing his own time traveling. The domesticity is cute though.

Pear and Kwan arrived to Christmas together! Still shipping it even though I know it won't come true. Sigh. At least Not isn't at the table. For a hot second I thought he was, that Pear was hugging him, and I almost lost it. But nope, it was Kawi lol. I was about to throw down with this show.

Do NOT test me show I am not in the mood.

Fifteenth time's the charm, eh, Pearmei? Granted it's not like you know that since you don't remember all the timelines, but still.

Me the second I see Pisaeng pulling out those pills: are they gonna kill him off? Would they do that?

Why is this where my brain goes? I mean, it was instant. Just, BOOM are they killing Pisaeng.

Ah, the good old wipe them down when they're sick trope. Good times.

"Do you think I'll die?" Pffft, me and Pisaeng are on the same wavelength. But also maybe don't tease Kawi like that the dude has several issues around his loved ones dying okay. Don't make him pull out that music box, Pisaeng.

HAHAHA is that the first grey hair oh noooo! Fun fact: my sis found her first one when she was like 22. She was not best pleased.

Oh no all this joking about Pisaeng dying but is it going to be Kawi instead? And why do I keep expecting death? People get ill, self.

Ugh, yes, the harsh realities of having no rights regarding the partner you've lived with for years - rights that would be given by default to a straight couple. God I hate it, but I'm happy to see this drum being banged. Because it should be.

Poor Pisaeng. So maybe he didn't travel in time before, but he sure as hell is going to now, because I think Kawi is actually going to die. Or Pisaeng is going to be so terrified of it happening that he can't help himself. But to change it or to make sure it never happens by cutting himself off from Kawi before it can? And then staying in the closet, going abroad, marrying Pear?

Because I truly think that he'd lock them all into a shitty future just to save Kawi's life.

Well at least he tells Kawi what happened.

Have to say, the end part saved this ep for me. I don't know if it's just that I'm already kind of pissed off (thanks tumblr!) or if this ep just started off rough, but I was not feeling it at the beginning. I really want to like this show all the way through. Please don't screw it up in the final hour. Please.

[clubsmarties]

His smile widened a bit watching hers light up her face. "Alright then it's set. Dolly is yours. I'll drop her off when I come into your office tomorrow afternoon. You'll be there?" Currently that furball was knee deep in the play pen at home with the littles who excitedly played with her. "Have to pick her up from my sisters'. She's probably all glitterified with the way the kids love to run through the yard with her chasing them." He waved it off as that wasn't something he was worried. "Have fun. This one is a two week endeavor. There's a trail that opened up a cold case again. A black dahlia type. Happened in LA. I'm only being the assist for their lead detective there. But our agency got called in. I'm not expecting you to dogsit for two weeks but I'll check in. If you're at your wits end with Dolly by the end of the week. I'll have one of the guys come down to your office and get her from you." Dolly was used to him leaving for extended periods of time so he wasn't too worried about her. He did have to make a mental note to pack one of his old sweaters for his dog to lean on when she got angsty.

Letting out a laugh he hummed. "I think that's your sign that tells you something is really wrong. Me not talking your ear off causes for concern. But," he smiled like he had just gotten the key to a candy shop. "I'm glad I make you comfortable. That's good to hear. It sure beats the alternative." After a pause he shrugged. "Being here out of obligation of some sort."

Fair point she had but he wasn't going to say that to her. "You know what, I blame work too. They need to stop bugging us on our time together." But narrowed his eyes. "Here's a thought, you work hard, I work hard. Why not to keep us off the work course for a week. Spend time doing random things around the island. I wouldn't be asking if you didn't have help at your office and I've accumulated vacation days. They can live without my brain for a week." If he'd shut off his brain was going to remain to be seen. "Well, better work than a carousel of women." He was quick to point out as a small smile overtook his features. "Am I hearing a request to send all work calls to voice-mail?"

"I'm sure it will be. They've got the best working on their team." There was a lot of hope and faith Wally had in Liz and her work ethic. "When's the deposition?"

An eyebrow raised and nodded. "Color me impressed then." His smile didn't wipe his face as she figured it out but still didn't budge. With a zip motion against his lips he shrugged. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He had after all promised Orion whatever they talked about would be kept between the two of them. "Maybe you're just predictable."

He laughed being pointed at himself and shook his head. "There's a reason in there somewhere. I'll find it and then it'll totally be your fault. People are dumb. It's why I don't talk to many. It's not weird. It's fun. Like a pez dispenser of quotes. I happen to like that." He rolled his eyes as he finished and wrote a slight thank you. "I did say I'd treat you so you can get the next time." He wasn't going to ask her for half. He found that absurd to invite her to dinner and then have her pay for it. "This isn't a gentleman thing. I just want to get the credit." He grinned completely teasing. A second later he ripped the receipt in half. "Here's your half. Mental math is correct I hope. But seriously, this is my treat. You can get dessert after. I know walking up that lighthouse stairs will have me craving something ice cold."

He got up and frowned playfully as he scoffed. "Not at all. They're the worst. I once got flicked for not getting them to a fast food joint fast enough. Diana is the worst of them all." There was no bite to his words. She was loved like a third sister. "You should. I'll say it to their faces." No he would not but it was still fun to tease. "You do it and you'd be part of their womanhood wolf pack. Which is a club I'm not allowed in."

"Yeah, hope. A light ignites that flame of the future. Something to reach after the dark. You can't have one without the other just like there's no misery without hope." He closed his hand over hers and intertwined his fingers between hers. Like he was doing so in a protective manner. "Why not? This is what people usually call planning things. Or a quid pro quo." Wally silliness came through as they walked out and turned to say a quick goodbye to the staff, Liz's hand still in his. "That can't be true. There's about five things on the search tab right now." he said scrolling through his phone one handed.

He looked up and smiled back. That was something he knew but still wanted to hear more from her. "That's an interesting fact. Wonder what the Romans were thinking. Ever think about that? How they built something like that and know that it'd still stand centuries later. I wonder how that came about."

He mused as his hand let hers go and opened the door for her. "Did you know Greeks invented lighthouses?"

The thought of having Dolly over so soon had her slightly excited but she also wasn't going to let him know that. "No, I don't think it'd be too soon. I'm sure that something could be moved around." But the smile on her face was also giving her away. "I'll take good care of her, scouts honor. How long will you be gone?" Part of her wanted to ask about his case but she didn't want to ruin this. For once she would take the advice of someone and not think about work for a second. No clues to follow or mysteries to unravel, for one night.

"Ah," she nodded in acknowledgment. "It runs in the family, huh. Well, fear not, there is nothing to be nervous about here and I'm," A small shrug of her shoulders. "Comfortable. So no need to talk me ear off anymore." Chuckling, she added. "But I think I have become so accustomed to it that if you stopped talking I'd think something is wrong."

Her new home? How to tell someone that their home was nice but not a place that she considered her own. Not that she ever felt at home anywhere, ever. Listening to him talk, rather passionately about hanging out more often, she couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her when he said to grab it by the horns and ride it. Thinking of something else she had wanted to do that night, the irony not lost on her. Live. What was it to actually live, not that she knew. Life had just been a series of tasks to accomplish. Once one was done, she had moved on to the next one. “That’s a lot coming from someone who works just as hard. I don’t recall us not spending more than two hours before work comes up. Your phone is always ringing, and its always work.” With a sigh, she laid her hands flat on the table. “I’m not saying no, just, later. This case has to be perfected I have to meet with the clients lawyer and prepare with them for deposition. Everything needs to be perfect.” While she hated this tedious part of some cases, she also knew how important it was to make sure things were wrapped up and the client was able to have some sort of relief from it all.

“Nope.” She said proudly. “ Never got seasick actually,” as for the missing part, that was still something she was coming to terms to. It wasn’t until she left New York behind that she found herself missing her friends. “I guess.” Finishing her drink, she smirked. “What is a fabricated story but a pretty lie though, Wally.” She would know, having spent her whole life spinning them like a spider weaving an intricate beautiful web of lies. Her father’s stories just helping her imagination, helping her be a better liar. “Where? Maine? Maybe. California, I go back all the time. But.” Her eyes narrowed slightly at him as she began to think back about how he could’ve known about her inclination to baseball and had began to realize something. “I’m sure you’ve heard about that from Orion, didn’t you.” Orion was an open book and knew that he had liked the man when he spent Easter with her on the island. There was no one else who could have shared so much but him.

“Well someone,” she said pointedly looking at him. “ Didn’t mention great places to see before so how is it my fault?” Waving away his thanks. “No thanks is needed. People just suck and you can’t let them make you feel like you can’t enjoy the things you like just because it isn’t their thing, we are always learning and evolving and anyone who isn’t is dumb. And I’m full of weird quotes and sayings.” A small huff of a chuckle, thinking about all the books she read and the stories her father had told her once upon a time.

Giddiness filled her and she tried her best to keep it at bay as he said that he was ready. She began to reach for her phone, for the money stuck between her case and phone ready to pay for this dinner as a thank you but he was already signing a bill. “Can you at least send me a request for half?” The request she knew would most likely go ignored but she couldn't help but ask.

Now she felt like she was encroaching on a family thing. "Oh, so being pregnant is no excuse for being hormonal?" It was a tease anything to get her out of her mind for now. "Now I'm going to make it my mission to make a bee line straight to them and tell them what you think of their pregnancies." A joke, it was the last thing in the world she would ever do, just embed herself in a family, unless she was stealing from them.

"Exactly!" Her hazel eyes grew wide with excitement and her smile wide displaying her teeth. "They are all so different yet the same. Uniquely themselves in uniformity. Hope?" The idea through her off. The light was always just that to her. A light in the distance letting her know that her time at sea was coming to an end. It wasn't hope to her. It was an end. But she could see what he meant by it. She could recall the pitch black nights on the water where you couldn't even see your own hand unless you had a light on you. The only thing that put through it in the distance would be the faint light and off distance echoing sound of its horn. "I should take you?!" The words were said with an exaggerated surprise and small giggle as she put her hand in his without a second though scooting out ready for this adventure. "You are barely taking me to a lighthouse that I didn’t know about and you want me to take you across the world?"

She never talked about her trips to Iceland, a depressing homeland trek, the fact that she even brought it up caught her off guard. Standing straight, she shrugged one shoulder. "There's not much to see, not like here." A lie but thinking about a place she had dreamed of being home, it felt empty each time she went to see where her father once lived. Where a piece of paper said she had been born. Where her father had always written and talked about as a magical place only for her to feel bitter that it didn't feel like that each time she walked its land. Stepping into the night air, she took a deep breath and shook the thoughts away, becoming a one track mind and smiled at Wally. "She never talked about her trips to Iceland, a depressing homeland trek, the fact that she even brought it up caught her off guard. Standing straight, she shrugged one shoulder. "There's not much to see, not like here." A lie but thinking about a place she had dreamed of being home, it felt empty each time she went to see where her father once lived. Where a piece of paper said she had been born. Where her father had always written and talked about as a magical place only for her to feel bitter that it didn't feel like that each time she walked its land. Stepping into the night air, she took a deep breath and shook the thoughts away, becoming a one track mind and smiled at Wally. "Did you know the oldest lighthouse in the world is in Spain? Built by Romans." The topic of lighthouses would for sure keep her from straying to other things she'd rather not slip up.

[izzy-b-hands]

Lucius thinks maybe some gay sex will make Izzy better, or at least feel better? His theory needs proving, in other words, and what better way than to just literally test it by *checks papers* treating Izzy like a human being with feelings, treating him nicely, taking in interest in what he does (even if that is basically work and work alone usually), and finally treating him to a night out in a port with some shopping.

---

"You're cool if I fuck him?"

Pete nodded. "Not only that, but I want to make it a bet."

Lucius scoffed. "Are you doubting my skills?"

"Not you, I just mean that..." Pete hesitated and gestured towards Izzy. "He is... himself, ya know? Might not be an achievable thing."

"I don't believe that," Lucius said briskly. "I'm not only going to fuck him, but he might even be bearable as a person once I'm done."

--

"Can I help?"

Izzy frowned. "Why?"

Lucius picked up the nearby broom. "Why not? You always encourage us to do chores more often, so...here I am!"

Izzy nodded. "Broom is infested with spiders."

Lucius looked to his hand on the broom, eyes widening at the tiny black dots starting to crawl all over it.

"We should get a new one," Lucius smiled sheepishly and did his best not to drop the broom on Izzy as he shoved it away. As it was, he surely already shook off a spider or two in his direction on accident.

"You can let the captains know that," Izzy said.

They stood awkwardly for a moment.

"What did you come down here to do?" Lucius asked once the silence started to make his skin crawl. "I'd be happy to help."

"I don't think you would."

"You don't know that!"

Izzy shrugged. "Fine. You won't want to, but fine. Sick of arguing with the lot of you today."

He led Lucius further down the hall, into the jam room. There, a corner of the room had been reconfigured for his purposes.

"Oh," Lucius said as they sat in the corner. "These are a bunch of Ed's shirts."

"Aye."

"Are you...do you darn all his clothes for him?"

Izzy nodded, and picked up a purple crop top. "Thread is in the basket behind you."

He reached in and tossed Izzy a bundle of purple thread. "How often do you do this?"

"At least once a week. Used to be more, when he was with Jack more often. You can imagine how that went."

Lucius nodded and grimaced. "Does Ed know about this?"

"Presume so. That, or he doesn't care so long as his clothes show back up clean and fixed."

"I'm sure he cares," Lucius said. "He must wonder how his stuff keeps getting fixed up."

"He's got other things to worry about. That's part of what a first mate does, not that any of you would know that. Except maybe Olu. You take on everything else so your captain can concern himself with things that are actually important."

Lucius let the conversation die again. It was making him sad for Izzy, and that was a weird feeling he wasn't sure what to do with yet.

So they stayed silent. He helped grab Izzy new thread as he needed it, and folded the finished shirts as Izzy handed them over.

"Bored?"

Lucius shrugged. "Not really. Kind of nice, sitting away from everyone else for a bit."

Izzy stood with a soft groan, and retrieved the pile of shirts. "Planning to keep following me?"

"For now. If you don't mind."

"No stranger than anything else anyone's done on this godforsaken ship."

They traipsed back up and he followed Izzy to Ed and Stede's quarters.

Their captains were engaged in each other, though still clothed as they tangled on one of the new couches they'd stolen.

Lucius frowned when neither of them so much as looked up at their entering the room. They didn't say a word at Izzy putting away Ed's clothes for him. Not even a glance.

"That wasn't cool," Lucius muttered as they left. "He could have said thank you."

"Blackbeard doesn't need to thank me for doing my job," Izzy said.

"Yeah, I can't agree with that," Lucius said. "Let's get lunch and I'll explain."

"Unlike the rest of you," Izzy sighed. "I don't waste any of my time during the day with that."

"Literally all you've had is coffee," Lucius said. "You need food."

He took Izzy's hand and was pleasantly surprised when Izzy let himself be led towards the galley. Might have been out of shock, but he was going to take it as a win anyway.

--

They walked in, and the galley cleared out.

"Ah," Lucius started, but Izzy waved him off.

"That's normal. Understandable. Anyway, what do you want?"

"I can get my own food," Lucius sighed. "Turn off work mode for two minutes, and eat."

Izzy promptly got a cup of coffee, and sat at the table.

"I know you did that to irritate me, and I don't care," Lucius said with a smirk. "And I'll show you why."

He grabbed one of the few square plates they still had, and piled it full with the leftovers Roach had yet to put away: fresh hardtack that wasn't actually as hard as a rock yet, boiled chunks of potato, and sandwiches. He grabbed three of the latter; it wasn't subtle, but he didn't need subtle right now.

He sat across from Izzy, and popped a potato chunk into his mouth.

Izzy's eyes ran over the plate as he sipped his coffee. But he didn't say a word.

"Don't see you eat much at dinner either," Lucius said in between bites. "Or do you seriously survive on coffee alone?"

"I'll find something at night," Izzy replied. "Usually. Need something to do while on watch anyway."

"That's really unhealthy," Lucius said. "Besides, you must be hungry. I won't force you, but-"

He moved the plate to be more in the middle of the table. "Feel free. I won't tell if you don't."

He was still shocked when Izzy took a sandwich, quickly, as if he expected Lucius to try and take it away.

--

Over the rest of the day, they:

-brought Ed and Stede numerous cups of tea or coffee, with Izzy so oddly attuned to their usual general schedule that he just Knew when to motion towards the galley and then find the captains, who at least smiled at him each time. Lucius had been hoping for at least one thank you, though.

-Did more laundry. Not just repairing everyone's clothes, gathered from the various corners claimed as storage by each person, but washing them in an old wash bucket Lucius didn't even know they had below deck. The line to hang them went from one side of the jam room to the other, where the light could filter through from the deck above and help dry everything.

-Cleaned more than he thought was possible in one day. From swabbing the deck to watching Izzy scrub and chip away at the barnacles on the hull. He helped in bits and pieces, mostly handing Izzy whatever he asked for.

Finally, Izzy paused in front of his room. "Well. That's it, for now."

Lucius nodded. "Time for a break! You deserve it."

Izzy didn't seem to know what to do with that. "I guess? I usually stop long enough to nap before night's watch."

"You can't be assigned watch every night," Lucius chuckled. "Where's the chart Captain Stede put up?"

Izzy led him to it, a short distance as it was now tacked onto one of the walls in the closet Izzy had taken over as his room.

On it, everyone else's name had been scratched off.

"Did you do this?" Lucius asked. "Izzy..."

"I got sick and fucking tired of waking up and finding the deck empty," Izzy scowled. "No one in the crow's nest. Buttons is sometimes out there of course, but he's moonbathing then. So, yeah. I took it, crossed out everyone else, and I take watch every night now. At least it gets done then."

Lucius nodded. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have had to do that."

"What?"

"You sleep a little, and I'll meet you tonight for watch, okay?"

He walked out with Izzy still muttering in confusion. He needed to talk with the captains.

--

"So, it's just. Really weird to me that no one noticed and addressed this earlier," Lucius concluded. "I mean, I hate some of the stuff that needs doing and I'm not exactly eager for it, but..."

"Let him do it then," Ed shrugged. "If it makes him happy."

Lucius scoffed. "That's it?"

"I think someone might be a little sweet on Izzy," Stede smiled. "That's kind of you, Lucius."

"What the fuck is going on here?" Lucius asked in shock. "I know you two can be bitchy, as can we all, but what the fuck?"

"Lucius!" Stede said sharply. "I could ask the same of you!"

"Maybe I just realized how much he does and how that's like...all he does, and if that was me I'd want help! Or a break, or at least some acknowledgement!"

"He's a first mate," Ed said gently. "He knew what that meant when he took the promotion."

"Wow," Lucius said. "So, what about chores makes him happiest, do you think?"

Ed blinked, and opened his mouth to speak.

"Because I think he couldn't tell me or you two what actually makes him happy, because he doesn't think about anything besides work and how to keep living off of mostly coffee. Did you know he usually skips lunch? I had to tease him with food until he finally broke down and ate something!" Lucius said sternly. "If you care about your first mate like you say, then that means caring about him beyond his ability to wash and rehem your shirts!"

He turned on his heel and walked away before they could get another word in. They could let that all marinate in their minds and figure out how they could be better. For once, they could do that part on their own.

--

"Brought you this," Lucius handed Izzy a wrapped sandwich. "Had Roach make it fresh before he went to bed."

"He did not agree to make me food this late," Izzy said, but he took the sandwich.

"I may have told him it was for me, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him."

The crew had taken to sleeping below deck, after a few squalls had taken them by surprise and soaked them to the skin. That meant an eerily silent and empty deck to traverse.

"You can eat," Lucius encouraged him gently. "I can help keep an eye out while you do."

Izzy looked at him, seemingly studying him. Then, he considered the sandwich in his hand.

"Alright."

They settled up in the crow's nest, so Lucius could easily see out, and Izzy could sit and relax while he ate.

"This is sort of nice," Lucius remarked as he watched the moonlight glimmer off the crest of each new wave. "Sandwich good?"

He looked, and had to laugh. The sandwich was gone, in the blink of an eye nearly.

"Did you taste it?"

Izzy nodded. "Thank you for that."

"Of course. Someone has to keep you from wasting away on us."

The tension that fell was a new one. An expected one, for Lucius, though he hadn't thought they'd get there in one day. Leave it to Izzy to surprise him with lingering glances and a hand creeping closer to his.

"You can go to bed, if you want."

Lucius frowned. There was the usual Izzy. "I'm good, actually. Unless you'd rather be alone."

He waited for the gruff command to fuck off, but it didn't come.

--

He didn't want to be smothering, so he let Izzy be for the next day or so. Checked in, brought him food, but otherwise let him get about his business. Ed and Stede seemed to be paying extra attention to that as well, and he didn't want to distract them from seeing that Izzy, for all his faults, did clearly care about all of them and the ship. If he didn't, why would he bother with all the work he did? He could just as easily have left and joined a different crew, a more traditional one.

But he didn't, and Lucius felt like that was important.

On Friday, he changed it up again.

"So, you know how Pete is happy to share me and have fun with everyone now and again," the words tumbled out. "And I thought maybe, since we're stopping at a port for the next night or two, I could take you out."

Izzy stared, and Lucius worried he'd actually broken him.

"Me? How much did everyone else bet you to do this?"

Lucius shook his head. Pete had never formally made his mentioned bet anyway. "No one bet me. No one is making me. I want to."

Izzy couldn't seem to look him in the eyes, but he nodded.

"That would be fine."

--

"I figure shopping, food, inn?"

Izzy nodded. "You told the captains we'd be gone?"

Lucius couldn't hold back a roll of the eyes. "Yes, Izzy. They know we'll be on land for tonight and at least part of tomorrow. It's all good."

"I just don't want them wondering why things aren't getting done, that's all. You can't tell me you'd want to listen to that whining if we'd get back and find them out of the loop, thinking we'd fucked off to who knew where."

"That's true," Lucius admitted. "Come on. I have an idea."

He knew very well that Izzy had nothing for clothes aside from what he wore. He'd watched him strip down to clean and hang them to dry for fuck's sake, sitting in nothing but his underclothes while he waited to be able to dress again.

"I know it isn't anything as fancy as Captain Stede wears, but I also know you like your leather anyway," Lucius said as he led Izzy into the shop. Its walls were mainly lined with leather clothing, but there were linen and cotton blouses too, all in black or dark navy or deep plum. Nothing bright or airy, but if that wasn't what Izzy wanted, then why bother with it?

"We can't afford this," Izzy said. "For either of us."

"When was the last time you got new clothes?"

Izzy glared and thought. "1709."

"That shirt has survived almost ten years?!"

Izzy looked down at his shirt. "It isn't that bad."

"I can see through parts of it!"

"It's usually warm anyway, that is a feature, not a fault!"

"Oh my god...my point is, you deserve something new! You can still wear that thing until it disintegrates into a fine dust, but at least you'll have another option!"

He expected Izzy to fight against being pulled into a dressing room, but he didn't. Nor did he fuss at Lucius coming in with him, calling out to the tailor what would need adjusting before they left.

To his delight and shock, Izzy left the shop in one entirely new outfit, and with an extra new shirt.

"See, not so bad, right?" Lucius asked as they dodged people walking the main path.

"Could we stop at the room?"

He nodded. "Of course! There's no rush to do anything else right away. We can go out later and get food, could even bring it back to the room with us for the night!"

There was tension again, but he wasn't entirely sure which kind now as they made their way to the dingy building that had the gall to call itself an inn.

"Hey, I know this was kind of a lot," Lucius said as they got inside the room. "And I sprung the shopping thing on you at random, I know. I just had heard about the shop and figured-"

Izzy damn near actually threw himself at him, with enough force to make Lucius stumble as he caught him.

The kiss was just as forceful, which he didn't mind. It wasn't anger behind it like some of Izzy's other actions. It was want and need and an urgency Lucius was more than familiar with himself.

"Is that a thank you?" he asked softly after Izzy broke the kiss.

Izzy looked stunned. "You aren't upset."

"No? Why would I be? Honestly, if you hadn't made a move tonight then I would have at least asked if you were interested or not."

Izzy still looked stuck, wheels turning in his head.

"Come here," Lucius pulled him towards the bed. "Be lazy with me. We'll go out and find food later."

He didn't expect Izzy would fall into it so quickly, without any grumbling. But he kicked off his shoes by Lucius', and tossed his new black leather vest to the floor, only to promptly pick it back up.

"Doesn't feel right, doing that," Izzy blushed. "It'll take enough abuse later as it is."

"You're cute," Lucius smiled. He meant it genuinely. It was adorable watching Izzy brush nonexistent dust off the vest before gently setting it over the chair in the corner of the room.

"I think you must have me confused with someone else," Izzy said.

"No, I don't," Lucius replied. "The bed is cold; come warm me up."

That he didn't have to ask twice.

Izzy climbed onto the bed and into his arms, and after a moment, relaxed there.

He melted into the lazy slow kisses Lucius gave him, kissing back with unexpected but welcomed wandering hands.

"Just take it off," Lucius teased after Izzy's hands lingered under his shirt for the third time in as many minutes. "Take yours off too, while you're at it."

Izzy sat up, tossed his shirt off, and waited for Lucius to do the same. Fingertips tapping, eyes wandering over Lucius.

"You can't wait, can you?" Lucius asked. "I'm not teasing. Just asking."

He finally pulled off and tossed his shirt away. "Come here."

He'd always figured Izzy was a better lay than he might have seemed. There was far too much passion (for his job, Ed) overall for it not to exist in the same capacity in bed.

Now, with Izzy in his lap kissing him breathless, it seemed he had proof. The start of some, at least.

A hand toyed at the waistband of his trousers. Izzy kissed him again, gently, before asking: "May I?"

"I appreciate the asking and you absolutely may," Lucius smiled. "I didn't know if fucking would be a step too far too fast-"

"We can play it by ear," Izzy said as he climbed off of Lucius so they could finish undressing. "If we don't want to do everything, we don't have to."

Lucius nodded and let himself stare.

It wasn't like he'd ever have said Izzy wasn't hot. He was; from the silver in his hair (that if he kept growing it, would be fun to tug and play with) to the hair that covered his chest and the strong muscles that were on show regularly if one followed Izzy around while he worked.

But that was while he'd still held more distaste for Izzy, more frustration. Now, knowing more of Izzy meant it was an active and warm attraction that left him dying to find a way to show it more.

He finished stripping, waited for Izzy to do the same, then walked to him. Kissed him hard once, before dropping to his knees to open his mouth and let his tongue loll out. He didn't want to leave any question about what he wanted next.

"Fuck," Izzy murmured, a hand reaching out to cup Lucius' face in his hand. "How does Pete get anything else done if you do this around him?"

"I figured you would say you knew exactly why he doesn't get more done now," Lucius teased. "I'm a horrible distraction."

"A distraction maybe," Izzy said, as Lucius leaned into his hand enough to press a kiss to it. "But not horrible."

"I almost think you like me."

"I think I might."