#i felt so useless
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so... my mom died today
#i was kind of expecting it#she was in really bad shape yesterday#we've been struggling the this cancer for a while now#but it got really bad just before christmas#her doctor said there is nothing he could do for her#i felt so useless#i still do#i feel like i already started greaving before she died#i hate myself
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I have an event coming up and was banking on this coming weeks paycheck but I wasn’t needed AT ALL last week so I’m only getting paid for like two days. 😔
#the life of a teacher aide#last week was all cleaning before summer camp#i thought it’d be all hands on deck but i guess not#this past week sucked#i felt so useless#hoping to get more hours though#pray for me#personal#teacher aide
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#lies of p#lies of p romeo#lies of p pinocchio#promeo#my art#exposing all of you to my promeo agenda while simultaneously NOT working on fic#couldn't believe how long it took to colour this and why??#maybe by the summer I'll finally finish and post the fic#until then have some art#lies of p spoilers#fun but useless fact: all the references screenshots i used in game were of carlo after the real boy ending and it felt SO WRONG#felt like i was playing dress up as P and it was very uncomfortable
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I cannot wait for Maggie and Nina to spot Crowley lurking around and after successfully cornering him ask how things are with him and Aziraphale and he sarcastically says "Bloody excellent" and when they do wring the truth out of him they're just like
#Good Omens#Good Omens 2#They're literally going to be so mad#'I told him how I felt!'#'But were you TALKING to him?'#'Word were coming out of my mouth while he was in front of me'#'THAT'S NO THE SAME THING YOU USELESS DEMON'#good omens spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#good omens season 2
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Ok time to yap about Billy Loomis. What is bros sexuality?
Billy is 100% gay. I also think that he’s on the aromantic/asexual spectrum, with the best label fitting him being demiaroace. In simple terms, I think the only way he feels authentic romantic/sexual attraction is when he has a very deep emotional, (whether he likes to admit that or not), bond with someone.
People often like to bring up his romantic relationship with Sidney and his sexual affairs with other women, one of which we have proof of in the later movies. Because he was dating Sidney before his mom even left, and they were known to have started off “hot and heavy”, (as Billy likes to call it), he didn’t really have any reason to be doing that. Or did he?!
It goes without being said that Billy is a conventionally attractive white male in the ‘90s. In the movie, we already see Billy’s efforts to appear as normal as possible, wearing bland clothes with little room for interpretation and speaking very little to others. Which leads to why Billyboy was sleeping with girls when he was a big fat QUEER!! …
Billy loves control! He loves it, he loves planning everything out and acting it out like it’s a movie because of his dumb special interest. He loves predictability, he loves feeling normal, and he loves having control over people. What better way to feel in control, (perhaps of his own sexuality), than by sleeping with and casually dating girls!! It makes so much sense.
How does Stu play into this?
Well firstly Stu is Billy’s only real friend. Through subtext we can tell that Billy trusts Stu a lot, considering he trusted him to 1. Call Sidney while he was in jail. 2. Be ghostface with him and have him not tell anyone. 3. Literally fucking stab him… The list goes on. People like to say that Stu didn’t know Billy’s real motive too, which is fucking stupid because why wouldn’t Billy tell him this?? One entire year between murdering Sidney’s mother and then eventually attempting to murder her and all her friends, and you’re telling me Stu wouldn’t have suspected a thing? Just for fun?? Yeah right!
Also people try to say “okay, well then why did Billy stab him so much in the kitchen if he wasn’t trying to kill him”? Firstly it was always part of the plan for Stu and Billy to be the only survivors because only one survivor is extremely suspicious. Secondly you can tell he was just not thinking clearly, he acted on his anger and lost focus of his goal (KILLING SIDNEY??NOT HIS BF??) which is something he NEVER DOES!!
Man,, the whole final act is my favorite, because it really shows both Billy and Stu coming apart and quite literally COMING OUT as the killers. Come on guys. Media. Fucking. Literacy. They literally penetrate each other right in front of Billy’s girlfriend, and that shit was freaky as fuck.
ANYway I’m going off on a tangent. I do wanna talk about why Billy didn’t explicitly say anything about being gay when he so very obviously is. Billy, in all areas, is much less obvious than Stu.
He’s closed off, secretive, keeps up a pretty believable facade to everyone until the finally is able to drop the act. It makes sense he isn’t as physically or verbally affectionate with Stu, and for this reason people are more inclined to believe Stu is gay and in love with Billy more than Billy is gay and in love with him. Well, in order to get a good sense of Billy’s relationship with Stu, you have to look deeper. Let’s start with some things from the script, since there are very few scenes with the two interacting.
Stu and Billy, in the script, are best friends, have known each other since kindergarten, and are partners in crime. Billy obviously is capable of forming strong bonds and connections with very specific people. Even unhealthily so, and we see this in the relationship he has with his mother. He idolizes her, victimizes her, makes her more than she was as a coping mechanism and never officially comes to terms with the fact his mom probably wasn’t as great as he remembers. And when his mom leaves, he breaks, needs control (as stated previously) because his life is suddenly unstable and who does he turn to? Stu!
Also I just wanna say when Stu drapes over his back Billy leans into him okay thanks. Body language in this movie means SO FUCKING MUCH TO ME these actors did amazing. When Billy follows Sidney inside the look of CONTEMPT ON HIS FACE!! The way he looks through his eyelashes. The acting is impeccable Skeety, I love you!!!! 😐😐 Also the way Billy looks at Stu before stabbing himmm…He;s in love I promise. In whatever way he knows how
Lastly the boy has autism
Passionate interests, he loves horror movies and constantly references them throughout the film. Even at unconventional times, like when his girlfriend is venting about her dead mother. Eye contact and too much staring. Meltdowns when overstimulated. The whole last act was just him stimming and destroying shit because stuff didn’t go his way. Bad reactions when plans are interrupted. At the staircase when Sid runs away he punches himself in frustration. Talks with hands in Sidney’s room about The Exorcist. Favorite person/people (his mom and Stu). Extremely overdramatic. When he got fake stabbed. When he falls down the fucking stairs for no reason. Finally, just socially awkward. Any word out of his mouth makes people uneasy. Ez
…Finally for Billy I js wanna say he arches it a lot and I think only someone who takes it like a good boy wpu;ld do that Ok im done by.e
LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE BANGERS LIKE THIS ONE
#might say more later#if u have any comments#PLEASE TELL ME#if u have any questions#on my opinion#PLS LET ME KNOW#PLS TALK TO MEEE#i might do stu idk#i just felt like yapping abot billy#my brain is so full#of useless information#scream 1996#stuilly#me#billy loomis#silly#character analysis#gay#stu x billy#billy x stu#stu macher#scream#yapping#digital footprint is on its way to me#stupid gay twink#i hate this fa#got#dont take seriously#but also do#writing
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feral cats, pt 2
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#character art#illustration#fantasy art#comic#gnome#rogue#he's felt-- often justifiably‚ sometimes not-- pretty helpless and useless for... well. the entire campaign so far#it's been frustrating. he's stuck adventuring with a group but he feels like he can't even help them when it matters#not that that's going to stop him from trying#here's hoping it gets better going forward#meanwhile imagine the cat keeping vigil at the end of your bed knows full well 'if anything bad actually does happen we're both fucked'#simon#... I guess I'll tag the two in the tent? lol#limerick#pahvu#my OCs#felix#emberstead#dungeons and doodles
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Can I see the clip? That’s. Too. Close!!!
Ormsin as Kris and Folk as Karn in Apple My Love Ep 1
#I felt so bad for Karn all episode#literally thought Kris hated her but Kris is just a useless lesbian#apple my love#apple my love the series#kris x karn#ormsin supitcha#folk sutima
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I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion, but I think I respectfully disagree with the last anon.
I mean Ares just has naturally violent feelings and tendencies towards everything that pisses them off. Yes, feeling the urge to hit people when you're mad isn't a "good" urge to have but it's consistent with the character, that's how Ares is and they feel it indiscriminately towards everyone.
If you're playing as a professional boxer then punching someone will all your strength is going to hurt them either way, it doesn't matter much if they're a man or a woman, because you're going to do a lot of damage either way. I don't particularly think that it's "worse" to inflict harm on a person just because they're a woman. In my eyes, a professional boxer could hurt anyone badly, and to me, inflicting harm on a man is the same as doing it to a woman because they're both equally bad. So I don't think the lesson should be "don't hit that RO because she's a woman," but rather "Don't hit ANY RO because hurting your partner is always bad and it shouldn't matter what gender they are."
But like you said, feeling the urge is not the same as actually doing it. I think it makes sense for Ares to be feeling these feelings towards everyone/anyone, regardless of gender. You can't control what emotions and thoughts pop up, but the difference is that we have some control on when to act on them or not act on them.
(Plus, even fem dame is probably not exactly defenseless, they're still a god with healing and powers, and have a lot more going on than an average human who can't stand up for themselves)
So I did delete the ask that you're referring to so most people reading this wont get the full context of what the previous person said. but Essentially yeah. There are a lot of themes in this project I'm working with. Violence being bad and thoughts not equally action are two that kind of come up a lot. Hell the entire point of the project is how violence is bad and you shouldn't do it even if you really want to. Like if you didn't get that from the prologue then I'm sorry.
In general this type of discussion is going to be difficult, especially through anon ask/poster. So i probably won't answer any more like these just because of that. I feel like I can't really express my full thoughts on through asks because there are potential spoilers and stuff too.
#god syndicate#thanks for the ask!#I deleted the ask because in general this platform isn't an easy one to have these discussions with#so it felt kinda useless for me to say anything
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Pariah Dark. Ghost King. Master of War. Tyrant. The Breaker of Worlds.
Currently found himself... perplexed and at a loss.
He had assumed he would never be free once more, the one-time his punishment was cut short he wrote it off as the mistake it was. A pitiful fool who believed he could claim his crown from his prison without consequences.
The second time.
Well.
He would not have thought himself to be so lucky, assuming that no other would be foolish enough to free him once more.
He most likely should have learned not to assume a lot of things, when one is more than acquainted with the Master of Time. There was a lot he would do and did for the other before his eternal rest, and a lot of things he could've wrapped his mind around, found out the reason for, even so long as he had the clues no doubt left by Time.
But this.
This.
He was not exactly sure what his expression was, he could not even decide what exactly he was feeling, even. "Dearly belo-" Pariah Dark hid his mistake by clearing his throat. "Master of Time, what exactly do you intend for me to do with... these."
'These' referred to the small beasts currently amusing themselves on his body. A pitch-black chick with red eyes currently nesting in his hair, a snake trying to loop itself-and failing at looping- itself around his neck, a puppy currently resting on his arm and a cub currenting trying to get said puppy's attention only to be zapped away by the pup's foot.
Yes.
Zapped.
Despite this utterly befuddling situation, he was amused by it nonetheless.
"Your parole," The Master of Time said, all-knowing smile on his face. "Surely you would know what to do with children, would you not?"
Pariah Dark blinked. "What in the infinite is a parole?" Pariah tasted the word on his tongue, as if it was foreign to him. And, well. It was. "And what, exactly, would that have to do with children?"
The Master of Time's smile eased into faint amusement, as if aware of some joke the king himself was not.
Which happened more often than not, actually.
"Take good care of these children, and you shall be released from eternal sleep." He said, as if that explained everything. But Pariah Dark was staring at him in clear and undisguised puzzlement.
He then raised an eyebrow. "You would leave me alone with children? Truly? With no qualms?"
The personification of Time nodded, and Pariah could blink slowly, as if he had trouble wrapping his head around this. "Dearly beloved, surely you would not think that this-" If Clockwork noticed his slip of the tongue, then he didn't point it out as Pariah Dark continued. "Would be the best of ideas, no? Surely, you should be worrying for their safety."
Clockwork's eyes filled with mirth as he inclined his head slightly. "Well, do you currently hold any thoughts of harming these children?"
Pariah Dark's face gave away his faint confusion. "Not particularly, no."
"Then that is that." The ancient ghost nodded, as if everything was already decided and done as Pariah could only stare at him in unsurprised exasperation before shaking his head.
Perhaps, he should have expected this.
"The one currently making a nest of your hair goes by Vlad, the Pheonix King." Clockwork pointed his staff to the chick in question, who squinted open an eye before nestling further into the king's hair. He then pointed to the snake. "The one currently trying to strangle you, is Danny. Our prince as well as what humans would call an eastern dragon."
The way Clockwork pronounced our had Pariah feeling like it held another meaning and not just him being known as the prince.
Was there something he was not aware of...?
The staff then pointed to the pup dozing off in his arms. "That one," Clockwork said with faint amusement. "Goes by Dan, a fusion between the phoenix and dragon resulted in his creation and he soon became his own entity after becoming secluded from his timeline after its erasure." He said this casually, as if it weren't something that would cause questions. "He is also a Raiju."
How a bird and snake gave way to dog, Pariah does not know.
The staff then pointed to the last child in his arms, trying to bother Dan and being kicked away and zapped for its efforts. "That is Dani, formally Danielle. She is a Mishipeshu who is the only successful clone of the phoenix and dragon, making her our technical princess."
Again, the emphasis of our left Pariah feeling like there was something he should know. A missing piece to a puzzle he didn't even know he had started.
"You said this one was a king, correct?" Pariah asked, shifting around his arms to better support the pup and cub. "Would the phoenix's not take offense to me of all people being the one to raise their ruler?" As soon as the words left his tongue did he remember who exactly he was talking to.
He was met with a vicious smile, one that he did not see until the days of yore. His non-existent heart skipped a beat.
"Well, if they would like to voice their... displeasure." The Master of Time practically purred that sentence out, and Pariah felt something odd shift inside him. "Then they are surely allowed to do so."
Pariah grunted, silent for a few moments. Clockwork moved towards him in that time, and Pariah stood still, only tracking the ghost with his eyes. "I am quite certain you would make a wonderful father, dear-"
Excuse him, dear..?
"-So why not prove me right as you always have, hm?" Pariah Dark blinked, opening his mouth to speak before his mind screeched to a halt as he felt a pair of lips upon his own before they moved away in the next moment.
A ghost of a kiss.
"Now, run along now why don't you." Clockwork had a mischievous glint in his eyes, before Pariah found himself surrounded by a wide pasture, spanning as far as his eyes could see (and he could see very far) and at the end a forest with a house behind him.
But he could not react, even as he felt pecks upon his head, a bite at his ear and most surely the scratching of claws against his form.
His hair burst into green flames as he stood stalk still.
#danny phantom#phoenix vlad#dragon danny#raiju dan#Mishipeshu dani#dp dark ages#darkages#Pariah Dark wasn't taking the hint so Clockwork decided to step it up a notch#Unfortunately (for Pariah and everyone else) that just left the man in bluescreen mode#Not that it inconvenienced Clockwork because he's finds it amusing#Feared king of the Infinite rendered useless with a mere kiss#Honestly this might be the only ship I actively ship in this fandom lmao.#Felt like writing and I wanted another mythology beast idea so yea#I did this#Was supposed to dcxdp but Meh it'll be fine as is :3#Right the phoenix's don't really take Vlad's 'situation' pleasantly but it's not like they could just forcefully take him back into their#custody lmao#Right none of the quartet really remember their past so they're genuine babies now#Blame Clockwork for that one really#Aight better stop yappin now#Gabye
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an itch hit me past midnight
#(one more in the notes)#this isnt really what i felt but. it is past midnight. not that sleep seems important in the face of whatever is possessing me#anyway i dont super intend to mix conan and my own characters but people in the channel drew copy turned into conan in the channel the other#day and id be lying if i didnt admit the thought of#shapeshifter carrion death bird showing up at murder scenes doesnt sound metal af#conans already jokingly a death omen but copy looking like him?#the potential. chills.#anyway dont let him near dead bodies he’ll get hungry#he can probably tell what killed them with extreme accuracy#thats it hes otherwise useless. as usual.#detective conan#yokoka’s quest#copycat#dont wanna put this one in too many dcmk tags bc its technicallyyyyy not#ill draw conan as a proper Creepy Child to make up for this later#WHY IS IT MOVING FASTER HERE THIS IS SO ANNOYING. WHATEVER
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I'm always a bit surprised when I see hate for Shaak Ti based on her "Republic property" line like it's some kind of slam dunk statement of her views... have you guys seriously never had to speak someone else's language before? I'm not even trying to comment on her motives or beliefs here- but whether you read her as advocating for Fives or not, if she was 100% unambiguously advocating for Fives there that would still have been the right thing to say to the Kaminoans to get custody of him.
#this just seems like such an obvious thing to me#and i guess it bugs me because there's a lot of focus on people saying the right things and not enough on people doing things#you know in general. on planet earth.#and this is so clearly a place where virtue signalling on Shaak's part would have been 100% useless. The Kaminoans do not care.#she's lawyering. it's such a basic thing.#i don't really want to go into the thornyness of jedi-clone relations right now or what the council did and did not do for and to them.#i know i'm basically a pro jedi blog but I don't think it's perfectly rosy either but i'm tired#so i should probably leave well enough alone#but i felt like griping about this one specific thing#which is not evidence of anything except rules-lawyering#shaak ti
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i feel so so so normal (lying) about them i wanted to draw them being cute in all 4 colours
signature refers to my art exclusive sideblog, @magentameows
#kamen rider kuuga#kamen rider: kuuga#kr kuuga#kamen rider#art by me#kaoru ichijou#yuusuke godai#kaoru ichijo#yusuke godai#ichijou kaoru#ichijo kaoru#godai yuusuke#godai yusuke#<- trying every variation that their name could be ordered or spelled as.#goichi#51#<- these are the main 2 shipnames i've seen. i think 51 is cute but useless for actual search functions..#signature clarification is just cus like! i wanted to post this directly to my new sideblog but i like using my signature#and didn't want people to think this was like. stolen. because im usign the signature like i WILl be reblogging it there also#anyways. this is the new sideblog. where i can be NORMAL about THEM publicly (crying screaming throwing up)#anyways um. i will probably draw more of them if you wanna stick aorund this sideblog!!#ive been in a real proper art funk where drawing has been extremely hard for me for like a solid 2 years#so this was good! i rlly felt like. good abt drawing them <3 yay. SORRY im such a tags rambler#mine#kuugaposting
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A bolt of thunder forks across the sky, illuminating the dune grasses, the sea and the curve of the coast that stretches on toward the harbour. The sky turns dark and the skies split open, pummelling the sand, pelting the beach house windows with rain and I sit watching it from the couch in the living room, hair wet since the power cut out halfway through my shower.
“Is it a bad omen?” Jen wonders, perched on a rug, her nose up against the window. “A storm on midsummer's day?”
“What, like if it rains today then it’s going to rain every day of the summer, or something?”
“Yeah.”
“It does that anyway.” A couple of kids sheltering under their foam bodyboard come tearing past the house with shrieks of laughter, I can hear their bare feet drumming hollowly on the wooden steps towards the road. “Not like a cursed storm will make things worse”
Jen snickers, “wow, mister misery, that’s, like, so true. Maybe let’s try to visualise a bit of sunshine instead.”
“Fine, I-” I’m interrupted by a hammering on the door.
“Probably Shane,” says Jen.
“Yeah.”
It isn't. It’s Joe. Joe with some random boy standing behind him with a wide, toothy grin, like he doesn't even notice the rivulets of rain pouring off the top of his almost bald head.
Joe thumbs him over his shoulder, “That’s Kasper from my school,” he says. “We thought we’d come over here since the electricity is after going out in my ma’s caravan.”
“Okay, well the electricity is gone here too.”
Joe frowns like he hadn’t considered this, “Do you not have a generator or some fancy yoke like that?”
“No.”
“Oh, so your PlayStation isn’t going to work.”
I shake my head, and he sighs, turning to Kasper to say dejectedly, “No PlayStation,” and his toothy smile vanishes.
“Kasper’s english isn’t amazing and all that,” Joe explains, “So I’ll speak for him and say he’s a fuckin’ animal at Killzone 2, he was looking forward to playing it.”
“Ah, I don’t have that game.”
“Brought it, don’t worry.” Joe points to his bag, and I step aside and let them shoulder into the beach house. They immediately leave a puddle on the hardwood floor that I’ll probably remember to clean up later.
“I’m Jude, by the way,” I tell Kasper, who again turns on his toothy grin for me, “Yes, Turner,” he says in this thick, ambiguously eastern european accent, “I hear of Turner.”
“Are you guys, uh, are you both going to stay here?”
“Ah, maybe,” he shrugs and looks at Joe, who grimaces, “Ma’s caravan is small.”
“Right, and you know this house only has three bedrooms?”
He shrugs, “But two couches, right?”
“Mm.”
“Don’t worry about us then, we’ll manage it, c’mon Kasper, I’ll show you the TV.”
They hurry down the stairs and leave me standing in the puddle they made, the wind howling through a gap in the door.
Beginning // Prev // Next
#lucky boy 2010#the rain is thunderous my dude#see LG ch 1.1#fun to expand on Joe and Kasper tbh#who i always felt were useless characters in LG#but now I am a better writer lmao so I will give them personality#ch: Jen#ch: Joe#ch: Kasper
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Sword of Kaigen
standalone fantasy set in a rural mountain village at the edge of an empire that still holds traditional values, with families of powerful water/ice magic warriors
follows a powerful young heir who begins to question his beliefs about the empire when a new boy comes to his village from the city
and his mother, a housewife who has tried to forget her youth as a warrior and vigilante in the city since she moved back home to a loveless marriage
when there’s a violent attack on their village that they’re unprepared for, everything changes, and she has to embrace her old skills to protect her family and people
#The Sword of Kaigen#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I’ve been meaning to read this for years and I finally got around to it! a really unique fantasy novel#I had always assumed this was ur average pre-industrial high fantasy and then was immediately hit with video games/tv in the first chapter#lmao. But overall (aside from the broader worldbuilding/politics) it is closer to the average ‘historical’ fantasy narrative -#so I can see why I got that impression#Some really compelling characters and interesting narrative structure that went in some unexpected directions.#It really focuses in on one village and how devastating a single battle in a war can be to their people - and how much work the recovery is#I feel like most sff is more concerned with a single person and/or the whole war so this felt unique. did also mean that the pacing was odd#- it's a slow start; then there’s a battle that must be hundreds of pages. The last section of the book feels a little too drawn out#and brings up random hanging plot elements that don’t really go anywhere. But I think overall this works for the story.#also one thing I didn’t love - cool complex interesting female character MC sure but also there’s weird moments like:#the first scene we see her is all the housewives comparing their attractiveness; she keeps referring to herself as an old woman (when she’s#and oh so meek and useless etc. And some of this feels like it’s part of the broader portrayal of the misogynist society#but some of it felt clunky or unintentional?#And then especially the end - when she and her shitty husband finally confront each other as equals and he apologises#she basically immediately forgives him and is like oh I was equally at fault because I am a meek woman who didn’t try either#like him realising he was wrong (and her realising he had a reason for being the way he was) doesn’t negate the fact that he treated her li#she acts like it was her fault for not trying too - when we have numerous examples of him berating her if she spoke up about anything?#like im glad he’s learning. but also that doesn’t mean she needs to suddenly forgive and love him wtf#that's the only real thing that annoyed me though.#also btw that 5yo seems kinda fucked up. are you guys gonna do anything about that
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go king give us nothing!!!!!
#0.txt#okay finished a run of imaginarium theater#my final verdict: its fun but i think the novelty will wear out fast and it felt super easy (tbf i'm a 1.1 player with a huge roster)#the boons felt kind of useless too i just picked some for the sake of picking some#the pose prizes don't mean much to me either#it might have also just felt super easy bc its the first iteration of it ever#like the first abyss cycles were technically super easy too at least compared to how they are today#and i think imaginarium theater just having a lot of lore attached to it also gives it room to expand/grow new features#so i hope its something hyv actively develops on and not just make tankier bosses 2.0 like abyss 👍#i totally understand why people don't like it though... we'll see how the future of this endgame content holds
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being a thorbruce truther while being ragnorak critical is tough but i manage
#like wow the whole movie kinda ruins bruce and punches down at thor and loki the whole time but also#thor loses his hammer his eye his hair and his home which i really hope was for the sake of showing that he was like entering a new era#but it just kind of seemed useless in the grand scheme of things so it just felt like we were poking fun at him#like he spends the whole movie being shat on by like everyone in order to humble him but like we already did that in the first movie?#also taika my king admitted he views thor and loki as spoiled complainers so it's like i dont know.#thor#thor odinson#thorbruce#normalize liking movies that piss you off a little#cause i actually love rag it just bothers me a lot
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