#i feel weird posting these bc im not sure how long is like. an acceptable Fic Snippet on tumblr

[twopercentboy]

,,,,

[summerlimeismethebrony]

Another of my AA HDM AU snippets, although this one isn't an adaptation of a scene we see in canon and instead the POV of an antagonist Settling

Spoilers for the third Ace Attorney game, particularly case 3-4

"Urg…" Yoshimi groaned. "Could you hurry it up, Melissa? This form is so uncomfortable." 

Melissa huffed in mock annoyance, but she couldn't really blame her daemon for his discomfort. She couldn't remember the last time he'd been anything other than a bird. And, much as she'd like to forget it, she was technically a witch. Such an earth-bound form as this went against his nature. 

"Alright, I'm ready," she told him, "Let's get this over with." 

...

She played the part of Valerie perfectly, she thought — and Yoshimi hadn't needed to worry about anything but being in the right shape and position when the camera went off. 

…

As Melissa packed away her camera, Yoshimi sighed with relief as he finally shifted and could stretch his wings. 

He was a big, beautiful bird, with striking face markings and an almost fur-like look to his feathers. 

"Hm, never seen that one before," she said. 

"You like it?" he asked, turning to her and flapping wings that were wider than she was tall. 

"It's lovely," she told him, "Maybe you should be something smaller for the trip down, though."

Yoshimi stilled for a beat. Then, he tucked his wings in tight and looked at her with dark, red eyes. 

"Melissa… I can't. This is it." 

"This?" Melissa asked numbly, "Now? After I—" She cut herself off, dread creeping up her arms in hot prickles. 

"I think…" Yoshimi hesitated, like he wanted to lie — but he was her soul, and lying to yourself is foolish. "I think it was… you know …that did it. If I hadn't already taken his form when you… I don't think the plan would've worked." He looked at her pleadingly. "Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not mad." Melissa's voice sounded hollow. "I just— wie settled from murdering someone… What does that mean?" 

"That wie're dedicated to self-preserviation?" Yoshimi guessed. "Wie won't know for sure until wie find out what I am." 

Melissa nodded, glad to have a plan (other than the plan to develop the photos and present them to the authorities, but that was… too much to think about at the moment). 

On their way down the mountain, Yoshimi seemed to have an idea. 

"Y'know… this might actually work out in our favor." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, I'm settled, right? So no one will suspect that wie did what wie did — it'd be easy to see I'm not him, even from far away. I'm huge now." By the end of his explanation, he sounded actually excited. 

Melissa felt herself start to smile. He was right; maybe this would work out in their favor. 

[butterfly-ribbon]

still in disbelief about how mizu5 genuinely captures the subtleties of transmisogyny so accurately like nothing else i've seen before especially with the nuances with which mizuki's story is told … all it takes is a single sentence, a few words … i love that the classmates saying that shit don't even … realize how cruel they are, bc that's how it /is/ and bc "oh no, we said something weird to a Normal Girl, that makes us look bad" - transmisogyny is just a punchline to a joke for them, that's how detached they are from their own cruelty and it's really not any different from the 'average' misogyny and how that tends to be a joke amongst boys. what ena ended up being exposed to is really just the classmates' 'boy's locker room talk' leaking out, so to speak? ena's probably heard jokes from people about how unfeminine her behavior is in the past and she quickly spits out "that's not funny" bc ena and mizuki are both "pretty girls" who like fashion and dolling themselves up, and hearing them talk about how mizuki's cute in this way … i'm sure it reminds her of her own experiences with being an 'influencer' - people like her when she shuts up and makes herself cute and appealing and ena must've absolutely received her fair share of comments and messages from weirdos for posting selfies of herself online, but i think what drives this home to me as such a fantastic narrative is the way that they call mizuki "attractive as long as she's not making any trouble and being a pain" bc it really speaks to how trans girls are objectified and only deemed 'acceptable' as long as they make themselves into limpless dolls who are acceptable targets for any form of abuse and misogyny instead of trying to claim their own subjectivity as women, so there's so much crossover in how mizuki's experiences work alongside ena's? but also mizuki faces so much more constant and direct criticism, all her actions and choices so closely under scrutiny.

mizuki loves and appreciates the attention of girls and when she first met ena she saw herself in the art that ena made - ena draws a girl in pain and mizuki goes "she's me". in the scene where mizuki gets outed, ena is speechless not bc she thinks mizuki is "gross" or bc she's mad mizuki "tricked" her? she's just horrified that she just got degendered /by association/ and then had to listen to these boys speak about the girl she's in love with in this /aggressively/ violent way, especially since mizuki has a meltdown, knowing, apologizing for hurting, even as ena would absolutely say "no, i'm sorry, im sorry, please don't hate vourself" bc mizuki feels like she's the one at fault for feeling like ena would assume the worst of her, but mizuki also feels like she doesn't have the right to be angry at people … this is the first time we get to see mizuki's rage and it's so palpable … i love so much that she hates the idea of niigo's kindness being born out of her 'abnormality' as a trans girl … she hates everything about this. she hates the idea of coming out, she hates the idea of having a question attached to her girlhood..

mizuki logically knows that niigo are going to accept her bc they've also gone through so much turmoil themselves and understand what it's like to be on the fringes of society, but she still can't shake off all those intrusive thoughts about how they might only accept her out of pity or consideration bc they feel too bad for her rather than a genuine understanding and the idea that things might change between them bc of that is too terrifying to embrace… such patronizing 'kindness' burns too much for mizuki to accept, so she'd rather run away and shut herself out completely… for mizuki it's like being stuck on a bridge where the only two ways out are ones where nothing changes and this hurts in its own way bc she can't tell how much of it would be genuine and how much would be an act and the other way is them /trying too hard/ to be considerate and this can easily become alienating bc mizuki truly just wants to be "one of the girls" in the most natural sense? she doesn't want to be made to feel like she's being accommodated, but there's also all the guilt that she's been internalizing for being "deceptive" and not saying the truth sooner that further complicates things and makes her feel like she's undeserving of any kindness that she may be offered… even though she genuinely was going to tell ena the truth herself, it doesn't matter anymore bc someone else told her before she even got the chance to do so herself and that's something she actually wished would happen in the past, so is there anyone to blame but herself? mizuki's entire thing is that until now she's been "writing" a fictionalized cis girl version of herself when she's with niigo and obscuring her own transness bc she doesn't want to be treated as an Other or have an asterisk attached to her girlhood bc she just wants to be treated as one of them instead of having to explain herself or prove anything but she has her facade violently stripped away from her in the most traumatic way imaginable and now she's entrapped within dysphoria induced suicidal ideation...

[grendel-menz]

yo im not sure if this is a weird ask so feel free to ignore but like !! sorry i just had a moment bc ive been struggling w being half white for a long time now, like something was off my entire life with how other white people would treat me as an Other, the way they would like reduce me to an animal/the wild friend/make some weird dehumanizing comments, and despite all this not even knowing the truth of my ancestry til i was out of high school. but at the same time i felt like i could never really claim it? like i had no connection to my native side since my father wasn't allowed that so i was basically raised White and every time i looked in the mirror something told me it was wrong for me to even seek that connection. it did not help that i'd meet other half natives here who would tell me that (there is a weird culture here about rooting out "fakers" and accusing people you dont like of faking their history to get yourself more legitimacy). sorry this is all a rambly preface to say id always related to your art about ancestry and culture and finding yourself and how people treat you but felt wrong for it but then you post a picture and you're a stones throw away from me. like, we look like we could be cousins. idk i just went wow, i look like that too, its okay, i shouldnt have gatekept my connecting behind fear of... i dont even know what anymore. idk this ask has no point so from another genderweird half who hallucinates i hope u have a great week month year and i hope good things happen to you. you bring a lot of joy to people

I'm sorry you've struggled with all this, it can be really tough. My situation is a bit different since my mom never let me forget I'm Filipino. I never felt distant from being mixed, just the culture we lost due to some extraordinarily difficult circumstances in the past few generations of my moms side. I'm also lucky in that Filipinos and SEAsians as a whole tend to be very avid about welcoming mixed kids into the community (though there's a lot of racism and colorism involved in the level of acceptance someone gets, unfortunately. I'm pale and treated well, and I doubt someone darker skinned would be treated as well in certain circles.).

I can't speak for Native American communities, but I will solidly say in general that blood quantum and its enforcement is colonial. Your ancestors do not love you in halves or quarters, that would be very strange. When I have a baby I plan to love the whole thing and not just whatever dna percentage is mine. It's just important to research, support, reach out to, and represent your community to the best of your ability. (If I've misspoken here lmk.)

I have Indigenous family members, ancestry, and community, but I don't personally call myself Indigenous because I am still researching and reconnecting, and it's such a big word. There's no rush to things, go at the pace you're comfortable with when it comes to seeing yourself.

Sorry for being long winded! Hopefully that helps or yeah! :D

[moonlit-dreamers]

after much internal debate i decided to just make this its own separate post bc i dont think i'd be able to fit my insanity in just 30 tags (for @autocat5876 bc you asked for it <3)

i feel like gabriel is just not normal about his swords in the slightest. he loves and cherishes them so much that it goes beyond just master and weapon. he trusts them with his life. every time he's needed them theyve been there. theyre reliable, sturdy, sharp, beautiful. its an honor to wield something so powerful that sometimes even he doesnt feel worthy of their assistance. but what is he without his swords? what are they without their wielder? they complete each other in every way. they give him strength and he gives them purpose.

while he does enjoy using them in battle (it shows how much they trust each other; to place their lives into the hands of another to lead them all to victory) he still doesnt like seeing them be so dirty. after every fight he cleans both of them thoroughly along with a weekly session to polish and sharpen them. despite how much he dislikes seeing them be so tainted with the gore of enemies he knows they enjoy the fight as much as he does and it'd be unfair to prevent them from having fun just because he doesn't like seeing them unclean.

splendor is more of a guiding hand whereas justice is more controlling. splendor prefers letting gabriel decide what he does while justice makes sure he stays on the right path. he appreciates both of their inputs (even if justice can be a bit more pushy than he'd like) and follows when he can.

splendor is more show-y than justice. she prioritizes how something is done rather than if. she also prioritizes how she looks so gabriel always makes sure he cleans her first. she wants perfection and gabriel will deliver it to the best of his abilities. even if he doesnt she will still guide him to achieving it.

justice is more goal oriented. they dont care how its done as long as its done in the end. they push gabriel to his limits to make sure he reaches his full potential. they focus on efficiency, unlike splendor (if you can't tell they get into arguments often and gabriel has to be a mediator </3). they dont mind being dirty (for long at least) because its proof of a job well done. it brings them their own sense of fulfillment that not only have they done well but so has gabriel.

at first gabriel was kinda weirded out by his own behavior (why is he talking to his swords and giving them personalities???) but he accepts it eventually because who cares. nobodys gonna stop him and he has 2 amazing partners that love him :>

this might?? be all??? idk man im just being a freak on main again i might come back if i have more ideas rghsgrhkj

[aropride]

long vent post abt covid + my sister

i genuinely dont know when the last time my little sister wasnt sick for more than two weeks was. im trying to remember but i cant . its been almost constant since she got covid in dec2021. and she has all these new allergies and symptoms and stuff she had as a baby came back after. and my parents are like antivax antimask "its just a cold" conspiracy theorists and they arent going to protect her they only got her her mandatory vaccines bc our doctor finally made them and theyre convinced shes always sick bc of the vaccines and not bc of covid. and i know theres nothing i can say or do that will get through to them. and i know my sister doesnt understand Why shes sick all the time so of course shes going to believe our parents because shes a kid why wouldnt she believe them. and i know eventually she'll figure out why shes so sick. when long covid gets talked about more when i figure out how to explain it to her etc eventually she'll find out and it's going to like. ruin her view of our parents and the world at large

and i spent my whole childhood since the day she was born making it like my lifes mission to keep her safe but i had no hope of protecting her against this there was no way i could have done much but my parents could have and should have and now they blame it all on the vaccines its because the doctor gave her vaccines no it isnt!!! no it is not!!! and every time i see her or facetime her or she sends me an audio message i hear the crackle in her throat and i dont know if it will ever go away

and if youre not looking for it youll miss it but if you go in public and sit and listen .youll hear the coughing and sniffling and the crackle in people's throats. i keep my windows open bc my dorm gets too hot and all day i hear people walking by and coughing. my only other covid cautious friend has noticed it. none of my non cc friends have. but i swear to god it's there sit in a library for a few hours and listen it's there it gets worse every year. and nobody even notices and people look at you weird when you mention that everyone's been getting sicker recently

but they are they fucking are ive read the studies ive looked at the data. everyone's sick all the time and they dont even notice it they go "it's the freshman flu" "it's allergies" you arent even a freshman you dont even have allergies. "man ive just been so short of breath recently" then i'm the crazy one if i say the obvious reason for that. i feel fucking crazy i know im not im looking at the studies im looking at the data im learning the science but nobody will listen

i share covid data and protection and everything on instagram all the time im always talking about it because im always thinking about it because i hear it everywhere and nobody listens nobody is masking and i dont understand why i dont understand how - i heard someone cough out my window just now - i don't understand how social pressure can win over the objective truth when the objective truth is killing and disabling people. how do people not care??? i need people to care one-way masking is better than nothing but so much could have been prevented if people would just put on the fucking mask

what am i even supposed to do when everyone's just accepted being sick forever when people dont 'even notice how fucked up their bodies are becoming when people seem to think it could never happen to them and they don't seem to care that they can and will pass it to other people even if they never are symptomatic . how are we supposed to live like this??? are we going to reach a breaking point or are people just going to fucking die forever??? what will it take for people to start masking again??? to start caring???

i dont know what infection number my sister is on. three that i know of for sure but i'd be shocked if she hadn't had it at least five times. shes thirteen . i dont know what to do

[aibouart]

I hope this isn't a weird ask to send but:

I related really heavily to your post about what vent art has done for your psyche. Less specifically with vent art and more a vent blog where I privated the whole thing and would make unrebloggable vent posts (unrebloggable just in case if anything broke and slipped out of confinement)

I've had two of those kinds of blogs. Both ended up just being a negative confirmation bias zone for me to spiral out of control just if I looked at a post.

I'd see the timestamps and remember what made me make those posts and it'd make me lose myself all over again.

The second time I made the blog I told myself I wouldn't read back on the posts but 1) I cannot hold myself accountable to not do that so I did it and 2) the frequency of the vents ended up just achieving the same end result

Vent art for me is so much more work that it's rare, and I usually do end up very pleased with the end result and art typically helps more bc I can't just make art as quickly as I can make text posts. There's still some vent art that hurts like hell to look back on ofc but I understand that feeling of like...this art coming from someplace real.

I think learning to realize that drawing stuff without meaning can hold a meaning of its own (sharing joy, whimsy, etc etc with the world to remind ppl it's not all bad, or give them a safe place to indulge in something bright and colorful instead of the horrors of whatever reality they've currently got) can help ease into accepting the non-vent art as just as important and meaningful

It's tricky, but all of us who suffer more from our own vent posts/vent art can heal and move forward and find meaning in other expressions of other feelings.

Vent stuff can be such a powerful tool, so I'm glad you're learning how to be more careful with it. I wish you nothing but upward momentum from here!

thank you for the message, it does mean a lot to me to find others who went through something as similar that i did--even though it fuckin SUUUCKS

for me, ig my speedy art backfires with vent art. i have done pieces that i took (more) time with:

but for the most part it looked like this:

and they'd get posted within like 10 mins of each other (sometimes less)

i definitely think art doesn't need meaning to exist, but you spend so long hearing "what do you think the meaning behind this is" or making art like i had been doing that DID hold some meaning and i started to just feel like my own work was exempt.

it's hard to move past vent art and accept my work as worthy of existing even if it's just some pink furry staring at the camera doing nothing, instead of my sona ripping itself apart because of some deeper meaning. cuz like i do like my vent art, i think the limited colours i would use is cool and the compositions or expressions are intriguing, but getting into the headspace to draw all that just isn't worth the price anymore. but it sort of makes my current art feel shallow or empty.... like im not "trying", for sure.

and granted majority of people on this blog haven't even seen my vent art either it's not like anyone else's perception is skewed. it's just like a personal issue i've had as i recover from vent art/blogs WUURGG

but despite all that i draw what i want anyways, nothing can really stop me from doing that. i just kind of ruminate the whole time JKBSDBFBSD

thank you again for reaching out, i forgot i made the post when i woke up this morning and immediately panicked but nothing bad happened so i am feeling ok about sharing..!!

[zombiecowboy65]

hey sorry, anon from earlier- i honestly shouldn’t have sent it which is my mistake. it was just grating on me every time i scrolled aftg/jerejean tags. and you can ignore this ask, but you did ask why it bothered me, so- i don’t think you’ve said anything that outright egregious about jeremy, but it’s a lot of little stuff added up that just makes it feel. Weird. i talked to some non-aftg friends ab it which is where it should’ve stayed and maybe it’s our echo chamber but there feels like a lot of infantilization of jeremy in response to people infantalizing jean instead

i will say quickly it’s the about the in-bed aspect as i think generally ppl put too much emphasis on that and though i disagree with some points that truly doesn’t matter. where i was coming from it’s just that a lot of your posts and hcs paint jeremy as one dimensional and make him seem pretty useless and incapable, similar to how the fandom made him a sunshiney twink with no other personality for years. it’s many generally little things added up but especially in comparison with what feels like a refusal to accept any of jeans inherent urge for softness just because he’s also angry (when it’s clear that he would love to also be able to feel safe and be soft). it feels reactionary to the opposite of what you dislike happening to jean, really- especially after a post u made recently that i can’t recall the wording of where you implied jean being submissive at all was feminine which felt genuinely just a sexist way to phrase disliking his infantilization. it’s not really about anything too specific but just the way you compare and contrast them. i do agree jeremy is the softer one and i like that he is, but a lot of your posts about him added up feel like that’s *all* he is on your blog, sort of helpless and given to jean to care for instead of the caretaker roll he does currently (but hopefully not once we get tgr) have but that gets exaggerated a lot in fandom instead of them being equal ever, which seems to be the kind of thing you do WANT that doesn’t get across due to the way you post about them imo.

anyway, this is incredibly long and pointless, really, when i shouldn’t have sent the first ask to begin with so i apologize for that. i’ll probably just block/filter if it annoys me again and im sorry for butting into your space like this, but i felt i owed an explanation after since you did ask for one

Hey! I do appreciate the explanation and I am gonna answer this if that's ok? bc I wonder if anyone else is feeling that way? Usually my posts are silly little headcanons, and I definitely don't mean it to come across as if I'm painting out Jeremy to be useless and incapable. The parallel parking thing was meant to be silly, the sitting on the counter just felt like something he'd do. The whumping stuff is really just to even us all out. Jean already took so many hits I think it's only fair Jeremy gets to take some, but I see how my stuff seems one sided.

As far as the bed stuff-I personally find issue in the Dom/sub stuff because of Jean's past, but on a separate note, I was just pointing out that usually ppl do use the term service top to reference a top who is submissive. It really took me by surprise that the majority of the fandom took it as Dom.

Also, my posts about Jean are usually about his rage, that's true, but I don't think he doesn't want softness, and I'm sorry if it came off that way. My issue is really with the takes that overdo it. And I do think he needs to get that rage out before he can heal properly, but I also think he wants to feel safe and be soft and taken care of.

I'm not really sure which posts of mine made it sound like I was handing Jeremy off to Jean to be taken care of (I think the punching of the brother maybe?), but l definitely didn't mean for that to sound that way either.

Also the post I think ur referring to is when I said ppl wanted him to be a woman? I'm a woman and really a lot of the fandom's portrayal of Jean recently reads to me like a damsel in distress, which of course is usually a woman. That on top of him bottoming typically = stereotypical / society's idea of a woman. So when I said woman I did not mean actual woman, I just meant that.

It's okay that u sent the ask, and I have my asks open so it wasn't uninvited, I genuinely was just confused bc I didn't think I was painting them out to be the reverse of what I was complaining about. This is getting kinda long, but essentially I do think Jeremy is able to hold his own and I think he'll probably go to bat for Jean in the press and maybe even physically. I also think Jean wants to be soft, but I also think he has rage. Most of my posts just tend to be about a few topics but I'll try to fix it? And post more about the other sides of them?

Idk. Sorry anon.

[cassyapper]

Sorry! This got long.

Like to think that one time, either Jotaro lent Kakyoin his coat or Kakyoin stole it briefly bc he was being cheeky. For the short time it was in Kakyoin's possession, Hierophant Green found that he really liked to hide in the jacket (probably as a few tendrils). After the jacket is returned, Hierophant keeps trying to hide in there.

Jotaro is a bit weirded out at first since he doesn't really get what Hierophant is trying to do, so he tries wordlessly asking Kakyoin, but Kakyoin seemingly doesn't catch it (he is currently having a mental battle with Hierophant and is embarrassed by his stand's antics so he's ignoring it in an attempt to avoid having to tell Jotaro that his stand thinks Jotaro's jacket is the perfect mobile hiding place). Since nothing has really happened other than Hierophant being near Jotaro for seemingly no reason (Kakyoin has been marginally successful in his plight to stop Hierophant but it's mostly Hierophant considering that Jotaro doesn't like his space needlessly invaded), he kind of just lets it go.

Jotaro quickly figures it out when he's getting ready one day and finds an unwound Hierophant in his jacket that he set aside the night prior. He remembers Kakyoin mentioning something about Hierophant not liking being in the open and it clicks. While not overflowing with enthusiasm, Jotaro decides to allow it, at least just this once much to Hieorphant's joy. He finds out it's actually not bad and just passively allows it as long as he's not in a bad mood. Hierophant finds a small gift to give Jotaro as thanks, further cementing Jotaro's acceptance of the situation.

Kakyoin on the other hand is surprised Jotaro allowed this since he knows Jotaro and Star's relationship isn't quite that casually comfortable, so while he knows Jotaro is quick to put a stop to things he doesn't like, he feels a need to express that Jotaro doesn't have to do this. Jotaro brushes him off with a 'it's nbd'. Kakyoin is touched beyond belief and struggles to express that properly. (Something something Jotaro accepting his stand so fully warms his heart so much it kinda hurts. Who knew this was even a possibility)

Hierophant is subtle so most of the others don't notice this happening, but Avdol does. Thankfully for Kakyoin and Jotaro, he doesn't say or do anything to tip the others off, but he makes it obvious to them he knows.

That's a really long way of me saying I think it'd be cute if Hierophant liked hiding in Jotaro's jacket sometimes and Jotaro let him. There aren't enough Jotaro bonding or even interacting with Hierophant hcs out there.

YEEEEEEEEEEESSSS YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS

REV YOU GET IT GOD DAMMIT THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD THERE'S NOTHING I CAN EVEN ADD TO THIS

just fuck. i talk all the time about how i think hierophant might not like jotaro pre the lovers cause within the span of half an hour jotaro 1) insulted him 2) pulled him out of his hiding place and 3) hurt his user (which gets rectified with the de-fleshbudding but still hierophant is mad af about the first two things) so he like scoops sand into jotaro's shoes and shit but then the lovers arc happens and jotaro is just singing kakyoin and hierophant's praises the whole time (which rectifies the original insults) and hierophant is Looped Around The Lovers at the time so he can hear that and he's like ohhh okay sure fine he's cute i accept him. SO THIS SCENARIO THAT U'VE OUTLINED OCCURRING LIKE. POST THE LOVERS. IS SOOO FUCKING REAL TO ME esp cause then it would specifically rectify the "pulling hierophant out of his hiding spot" thing WHICH MEANS YAY NO MORE GRIEVANCES AND URURUHHRHGHGHG THE THING YOU MENTIONED SPECIFICALLY ABOUT JOTARO ACCEPTING KAKYOIN'S STAND SO WHOLLY IM FUCKING DONE FOOOOOOR FUCK. this is jsut so good. this is so fucking good. absolute fav. im obsessed with this. i agree hierophant and jotaro's potential relationship IS SO UNDERRATED THEY'D BE SO FUNNY. fuck. i love this. god

[sparklymilks]

i moved a few stages on in my hair grief journey (if you havent been reading along @ home i had really long and beautiful easy to manage hair up until i starved myself for a year pre-wedding which im sure is unconnected x anyway it's curly now and i dont know how to deal with it. HOWEVER i have started a new regime and i think i am finally getting somewhere

pre-ed relapse (? i feel silly using those words but)

unreal in its beauty, i didnt even know what i had

post-relapse

it doesnt even look like the same hair but it is and i had like no haircuts in this time. anyway it looks like shit now most of the time. however i have started using curl products (moving onto the acceptance stage bc the nice straightish waves dont seem to be coming back lol)

i was oustide in the rain which i *think* accounts for the unhealthy looking pallor but check out that platonic ideal of a curl. the top part is still kind of frizzy and weird but i feel like if i can get the bottom to look like that most of the time we may be in business

[misqnon]

sanji and pudding are cute together as completely platonic friends.. like he is a good FRIEND for her. i think she just needs someone in her life who isnt going to ridicule her for her eye and . like. fully accepts her. and that is who sanji is.

i wouldn't have an issue if it was just like. a one sided crush either. which it kind of is but i don't trust oda to have those intentions. i know its realistic to have kids crush on older people,, and i think its interesting to portray that as long as the adult isnt being creepy and weird. like u can have an adult that is accepting of the kid who's crushing on them. and the adult is also like "this is never going to happen. u should find someone your own age, that would be healthier". it is inherently pretty uncomfortable to have a kid crush on you i would assume, but they could still have a healthy relationship

i also want all the straw hats there!! i dont think i'll be satisfied if they arent all there..

THATS OK IT WAS STILL INTERESTING!!

this is so funny, i actually watched that video a while ago (passively. as in i was actually trying to sleep and also listen at the same time). but YEAH i think he is so right... the charm .. the something that zoro has. is not there. thank GOD i didnt miss the fuck...

NOT THE MAD WORLD REFERENCE

oh for sure the like 3 layers of translating is probably a big reason for the awkwardness. i (personally) think he has autistic energy outside of that one interview (i think i was kinda unclear which is why i am . bringing it back up) but . ofc. i am not going to diagnose a man I dont know anything about LOL

no shame in this household!!!! there is already plenty to go around

VERY ASEXUAL FRIENDS SEEING UR HORNY POSTING.... SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE. my very asexual friend does not use social media thank god. i .. i could never let her see me like this ... for her own sake..

u also forgor ur gender for a bit thats so funny..

im very thankful there are at least a FEW nsfw questions about men in the sbs... equality!! but we must strive for equity.. sexualize the men 3x more /hj

i have a friend who knows a bit of japanese but i always feel so bad relying on ppl who know other languages LOL. like.. im sorry ... our friendship means so much more to me than ur job as my translator sometimes... but i think the foreign fans use a translator app, bc im pretty sure oda has said the wording is wonky because of the translator

ive seen a bit of trixie and katya!! im at least familiar with who they are. at my highschool (that i went to for only the last two years i was in school) we had some drag queens come to school for a show.. it was interesting. i had never seen drag in person. and then we also had a drag show with students which wasnt as involved

"for legal reasons (haha get it)" LOL

perfect representation of a sanji courtroom. since u are sanji magistrate ur word is law. literally.

oda can have credit .. as a treat.

it IS compelling tbh but it's. as u kinda said. its mostly just mentioned briefly and then not brought back up. i do NOT want to see it come to fruition.... if they killed each other.... me next

"I WOULD LIKE CROSS GUILD AS A POLY SHIP MORE IF IT DIDNT FEEL MEAN WITH HOW OFTEN THEY BEAT UP ON BUGGY AND ALSO BC I THINK BUGGY BELONGS WITH MR. RED HAIR." YEAH EXACTLY!!!!! i too love a one sided ship. shuggy angst is literally so good.. wait til u catch up theres a . theres a moment. theres a shuggy moment that is SO angsty. they have so many problems they should just kiss and that would solve everything!

"OH NO BRO….HANNYAGELLAN…ITS HAPPENING…"

i also heard abt the falling down the stairs meaning suicide thing, but i only heard abt it super recently. ur right she wouldnt have done that!! she was finally feeling like. things were looking up . because of zoro!! he helped her feel better!! n then she died. i agree that he probably sees a promise as an ironclad thing. he would literally die for a promise he made. he definitely isnt stupid either, and is generally pretty untrusting of new people

SHARING FANFIC U WROTE???? :D

"Dreams. Ambitions. Drive. Do what that day stole from Kuina. Defeat Dracule Mihawk. Become the world’s greatest swordsman- for both of them." i love this part

"This isn’t a good sign for his current navigational endeavors." HE GOT LOST..... that made me laugh

"Kuina. He doesn’t think of her as often as some might think. He doesn’t dwell on the past, only reflects on it." accurate for zoro!!!!

i feel sad for him :( he sounds a bit. regretful? is that a word.. thnk u for sharing i lov .. i love .. when ppl share their art with me.. thank u..

"but do i ever actually make those things….no. i do not" psh... typical..... /lh

oh boy im so excited to take ibuprofen with u!!!!

"its just. SO COOL!!!! TO SEE PEOPLE ACT WITH SUCH PASSION AND PORTRAY EPIC STORIES..RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! LIVE!!" YOU GET IT!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!! NO ONE EVER GETS IT ... U GET IT!!!

yes u got me i like sanji now 😔😔😔😔😔 congrats on converting me😮‍💨 /lh. ill send u another 4kids sanji video to get back at u for this *shakes my fist in rage*

i love seonghwa!!! (obviously!!! since im ot8 !!!)

THE LAW PUN... I DINDT NOTICE AT FIRST .... im so glad u have the hawaiian shirt comic saved. i have multiple pictures of him saved and i refuse to delete them despite my phone storage being rly low.. and im not doing anything with them. im just attached.

look at how much i talk about him... im normal . its only been a month and a half since i restarted one piece and i hadnt talked abt him at all before that.. im normal.

ok my law thought s are.. well the most recent thought . was actually. uh.

yeah this was a normal thought. for sure.

this was the thought that led to that .

i just think u could have a lotta fun with his powers. outside of making abstract art. i want to know what its like to be law . in body. he is tall. and like. i would be able to teleport himself and other things.. which is a big thing when u can't get enough energy to get out of bed. and i have food allergies so i could eat whatever i want.. and i wouldnt have periods... i would automatically be stronger bc he has muscles. yeah.. i wish i could experience all that.

and that is all for now bc i think those r ...intense.. thoughts... to have... or maybe they arent, i dont really have an understanding of what is normal

"i wonder if it relates to his backstory and the possible trans-ness of it?" i was kinda thinking this too.. or like maybe it had something to do with his childhood or something. idk. croc backstory when!!

"he’s after freedom and what use is it if u destory the freedom of others while searching for it for yourself?" YEAH!!! U WORDED IT WELL,,

"HIS 4DUB VOICE PAINS ME PHYSICALLY" *sends another video* (i am actually going to do this but i was planning to anyways so dont feel pressured to watch it or respond LOL)

"i have a playlist where i put my fav one piece shits."

D:!!

crying, sobbing at the fact u know abt nika

ok honestly if it was just a bug collection... that would be so cute ... the one piece was the bugs we met along the way

"so i think it might be related to…joyboy/nika/ the SUN…i think maybe its like a. a hat maybe. thats my guess. sun hat. from the original joy boy. its not a good guess but its all i HAVe"

take this how u will

bartolomeo... maybe he is called the cannibal bc he has big teeth... or maybe its his name from when he was beating ppl up all the time as a .. gang leader? or whatever he was? maybe he "cannibalized" other groups??

end of the e-letter is for memes now

very very true. when she was sobbing after i left i actually felt so so bad for her ;-; like someone PLEASE get her out of there!! god SAME FOR REIJU. sanji got to escape but reiju and pudding are both stuck with their respective shit abusive families…it sucks. i hope we get to see both of them doing better by the end of the series!!

“i wouldn't have an issue if it was just like. a one sided crush either. which it kind of is but i don't trust oda to have those intentions.” YEA I MADE A POST ABOUT THIS (i think i accidentally queued it) BUT. YEA I DOUBT HE DOES 🙃 looks at shirahoshi. looks at rebecca

ITS A MAAAAAD WOROORORRLDLDL

also nodding my head no problem i got what u meant about inaki

UR RIGHT NO SHAME….PUTS MY YAOI PROUDLY ON THE FRIDGE

i still need to finish the opla video. i watch it while i eat lmao

OKAY HE HASNT MENTIONED IT SO I HOPE HE JUST DIDNT SEE IT OR. WILL NEVER BRING IT UP. its funny u say that tho bc my OTHER ace friend very supportively read this vampire zosan fic i wrote and they’re in their own words like violently ace and also sex repulsed and i WARNED THEM that there was a sex scene in that chapter i WROTE A CHAPTER NOTE AT THE BEGINNING WARNING SO and they STILL accidentally read it and texted me SO CONFUSED AND THEN EMBARASSED THEY WERE LIKE “its hot in the room?? wait i dont get it?? 🤨 - WAIT. OH NO-” funniest shit ive ever seen in my life. literally “hey. be careful dont look at that.” “huh? [staring blindly at sun]

actually every nsfw sbs question asked about the men was me. it was all me. next i will be asking the size of katakur- [gunshots]

KJSBDKJ I HAVE TWO FRIENDS THAT SPEAK FRENCH (ONE A NATIVE SPEAKER AND ONE WHO MAJORED IN IT AND NOW LIVES IN FRANCE. WITH THE OTHER FRENCH FRIEND) and when writing scenes where sanji spoke french i was too embarrassed to ask either of them for help but they bullied me into letting them help 😭😭😭 so i feel u so hard 😭😭😭

and ur right, i actually just read a chapter where someone did that from vietnam i believe (they used a machine translator)

i love drag sm!! u made me remember how much i liked it and i watched some more drag clips yesterday lmao. 

okay in terms of the death pact thing i feel like oda drops those things and always comes back to them…i DONT WANT THEM TO FIGHT EITHER BUT ALSO I SOOOO DO. kinda like how reading whole cake island ws painful for me but also i loved it. but i will need to wait a bit before reading it again. i dont think theyre gonna kill each other tho. i think itll be a moment that brings them to a better understanding of each other/their relationship. i dont mean that in a zosan way just literally in canon as crewmates. and i think it will be JUICY bc those bitches have been bickering for over 20 years…and then finally theres a big ultimate final zoro vs sanji battle like dudebros always clamor about. i want to see a setup where they’re forced to face the fact that they dont get along but still care for each other but also what to do when faced with a choice like that against someone you hate but also care for. and what zoro will do. bc i genuinely have a feeling zoro will fight him to the fucking end but not kill him when it comes down to it. even though zoro keeps promises like they’re oaths…so. i think it may be an outside element that stops the Murder from occuring. zoro may or may not actually attempt it KDSNC. its so fun to think about to me. im so ready 

shuggy moment? 👁️i know oda would not make any gay ship canon (probably most ships tbh) but why does shuggy feel like one of the most likely to me. in a weird way. KADJNFVDK. you know how in the og visual novel for clannad the “bad end” was a gay ending with your male best friend. that is canon shuggy to me. oda doing it kinda halfheartedly in a roundabout way for laughs but the fandom is popping bottles (we popping the BIGGEST bottles when shuggy happens tomorrow-)

on zoro and promises and etc etc…do u think zoro will get more development of him as a character by the end of the story? zoro is a character that’s beautiful in his simplicity but sometimes i want to know him more you know?? he’s kinda mysterious in a closed off way even tho we know what he’s about and. i wanna know more abt him. put him in more fucked up situations. i wanna see zoro suffer in a way that isnt just a tough battle.

im glad u liked it !! :D thank u!!

HAHAHAHA SANJI CONVERT !!! LET’S SEXUALIZE THAT BLONDE MAN ‼️(priorities 🫡) (the 4kids sanji video will get back at me. it will. i will suffer but i will do it.)

i have so many random op images saved in my phone…not to mention my laptop’s screenshot folder…WAIT THAT REMINDS ME JFDBVSJD i have an internship at an art gallery and i need a laptop for the job so i use my own but its my personal laptop.. and once i had to test a powerpoint but i dont have word so i had to use my personal google slides account and WHILE CONNECTED to a GIANT PROJECTOR…THIS briefly flashed on the screen before i frantically clicked away. no one saw but i. i did. (for reference this was for pwp night. and i have still nbot finished it)

i dont talk about sanji in my friend discord server bc None Of Them Watch One Piece but in my dms with my other op friend…let’s look.

on god

this is from both of us together. BUT STILL

(nodding) no go on what animal parts

law’s powers are SO fun. i wish he switched ppls bodies more often!! its such a fun trope its such a guilty pleasure for me!! also room is just. such a cool ability. i love teleportation characters (thinks about nightcrawler from xmen…my blue king). also THAT LAW COMIC I MENTIONED U IN THE TAGS. JHFVBDKAS THE FOURTH PANEL WHERE ITS JSUT THE SEA CREATURES AND HIS DEAD FACE DOING THE ROOM POSE GETS ME EVERY DAMN TIME

is law tall?? i guess he just seems short in comparison to like. doffy. (looks it up) DAMN THIS BITCH IS 6’3??? 

also funny law story i just remembered. sometimes i sell my art at gay art markets. and one time. at a halloween themed one. there was . this random law cosplayer. which yea its halloween thats a costume but for future reference i want to be clear this was like the only anime cosplay. everyone else was like cartoons or monsters or fairies or cats or some shit. well the law cosplayer is set up right across from me and i had JUST started my one piece hyperfixation so i was Extra Crazy abt it and i was literally flipping out so nervous but excited so i dragged myself over and was like “omg…hi…i love ur law cosplay….i just got into op and i havent met him yet but i see him everywhere…” and they were super nice!! but then. later. i go visit my friend’s booth. and . the ONLY other anime cosplay at the entire event…WAS A SECOND TRAFALGAR LAW. STANDING AT MY FRIEND’S BOOTH. I WAS LIKE ??? anyway i pointed them towards each other after fangirling for a hot moment and they took a pic together. it was very fun

ur thoughts are not intense or strange…well maybe they are strange to others but i am also insane. i promise. i love ur insane thoughts pls continue to share. i will do the same someday when i am less shy and ashamed of my unhinged fandom thoughts (such as making zoro amvs to abba in my head on the way to therapy. <- things that should be in the dsm-5 as a criteria. ps. thats a line my therapist actually said in response to something i did once. lmao)

did u notice that in the opla…they have all the characters who were at rogers execution there as their younger selves (mihawk, shanks,etc) AND THERE’S A AFAB PERSON WHO’S DRESSED SUSPIOCIOUSLY LIKE CROCODILE…I WAS LIKE OH SHIT)

i am going to watch the next 4kidd dub video. i will do it for you. (losing years off my life each time)

WOOPS THE PLAYLIST WAS PRIVATE try it now. if you watch any one video from that list. and this one is short. please make it this one. I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME

OH ALSO. APPARENTLY AT COACHELLA. THAT MIKU PERFORMANCE WAS *ALSO* A TV SCREEN. ISNT THAT SAD. PATHETIC!!

lmao. i was talking to my caught up friend about op spoilers today and he wouldnt confirm or deny so many things i said. lmao. rofl, even

“take this how u will” IM SCARED

end of the e letter IS for memes now you’re so correct

p.s…i know discord is a Le PooPooHead esp recently BUT if you want to add me my username is the same as it is here!! feel free but no pressure

[junkissed]

hihi im starting a writing blog for svt but im relatively new to tumblr and its mechanics and all the etiquette and things like that. also im a jun biased and im weird in the way where i don't usually have inspo for other members? if that makes sense? so like idk is there anything i need to know or is it relatively acceptable to mostly only write for one or two members?

also sidenote but i really love some of your writings ahaha match of the season is my favourite :D thank you so much if you ever reply!

no that totally makes sense! i would say most authors on here will write for ot13 but they definitely write more for their bias than any other member. i feel the same way, for me it's easier to write for jun than for other members (and also i love him lol) so my writing ends up being like 90% jun and 10% other members. which is completely fine! at the end of the day it's your blog and your writing, and you should write for whoever you feel comfortable writing for and whoever gives you the most motivation. there are hundreds of writers on this site so if one writer only writes for a couple of members, it doesn't mean the other members won't get written :) nobody says you're required to write certain things or for certain members!

if you intentionally leave out one member but write for all the rest (i've seen writers who write ot12 and exclude jun because they aren't attracted to him), you might get some side eyes but again that is your choice. i personally wouldn't say a hard no to any members and i'll give them all my best shot, but that's my blog, and your blog is up to you.

as for things you'd need to know, i'd say the number one thing is interact with people! the best way to get interaction on your own work is to reblog and comment on other fics. as i'm sure you've heard me say before, reblogs are the most important feature on this site! it basically boils down to, treat others how you would want to be treated by reblogging their works and leaving feedback, even if it's just a simple "i really loved this!!!". it makes you stand out in our notifs and if you're also a writer it might even get you a new mutual.

other tips off the top of my head:

have a masterlist post (helps people find all your fics in one place) and have a guidelines post (makes it clear what you're comfy with)

DO NOT PLAGIARIZE AND DO NOT STEAL ANYONE ELSE'S WRITING (this one is in caps bc super super important!!! you can take ideas or inspiration from someone else but you cannot take their words or their writing. you'd think this one would be obvious but plagiarism happens a lot more than you'd think)

if you're inspired by someone else, tag them in your fic! it shows respect to the original author, and you should tag them whether it was from a fic you read or if they helped you brainstorm ideas. it doesn't have to be a super long thing, just a little "inspired by @onlyhuis's fic!!" is more than enough, but it goes a long way :)

like i said, you can write for whoever you want, whenever you want! when ppl start interacting you it's gonna be stressful because you want to make them happy and put out new fics often, but just remember that it's your blog and you get the final say on everything. don't put pressure on yourself to write constantly because you will get burned out and i promise it will not be fun!

if people send things that make you uncomfy, don't be afraid to delete (or block) them. it's your blog and your boundaries so don't feel guilty for standing up for yourself. also, ignore answer hate asks because they're just looking for attention so don't give it to them

trigger things properly! this is the little section before the fic that says "warnings". don't censor any words (using punctuation like bl00d or d3ath instead of typing blood or death) because it defeats the purpose of ppl who have those keywords filtered, so type out the whole word uncensored. this is a courtesy for people so they can choose to avoid content that may be harmful to them. (this also counts towards visual works, a lot of ppl use tags like "tw flashing" on gifsets)

speaking of tags, when you post be sure to put tags on it! it's the section at the bottom of your post with all the #'s. if you click on any of my fics you can see that i use tags like "jun smut", "seventeen scenarios", etc. these tags help people find what they want to read (but only tag relevant things; don't put "mingyu smut" on a jeonghan fic unless mingyu is actually in the fic). if you aren't sure which tags to use or how to format things, feel free to look at other fics for examples. if you read a lot of fics you might see there's a pretty standard way of doing it

the tags i use like "june.txt" and "june writes" are organizational tags. when you click on, for example, my "june writes" tag, the results are only my fics that have that tag. it basically organizes things into categories (which imo is the best part of tumblr) and it makes it easier to find different types of posts. it also allows people to filter those tags so posts with that tag don't show up (for example, i require minors on my blog to block the tag "minors dni" so that nothing nsfw is shown to them)

again like i said, don't be shy! make friends, join networks, send asks to people, reblog fics, etc etc. interacting with others is the #1 way to make writer friends :)

just a general tumblr tip: no one can see how many followers you have except you, so don't try to make it a competition of who has the most. it's what makes tumblr different from tw*tter and insta and it makes the social media experience a lot more casual because there's no influencers here. it's like a diary where you scream into the void and sometimes ppl scream back. a lot of writers do milestone events (i recently had one for hitting 1k followers) but you aren't required to do those either

if you have any questions about tags, filtering keywords, and other tumblr stuff like that, don't be afraid to ask! any tumblr veteran is more than willing to help break down our weird system to new bloggers

be proud of your work! even if it doesn't get many notes or feedback it doesn't mean you're a bad writer. writing should be fun and something you can enjoy doing, so don't make it seem like a chore by focusing too hard on numbers

i can't think of any more but here's my tag for important posts & info for new tumblrs users that you can look thru for more! i hope this helps :) and when you start your blog send me another ask!! i would love to be your first follower <3

[b0rtney]

Hi hello

Please please please please please

Tell me more about your X-men and Matilda crossover I BEG OF YOU

first of all i love u so much for asking. forehead kisses for u.

so. inception of this was i was watching matilda and was like "she's literally just a mutant. she has a mutation. because she's a mutant" and then spiralled for abt 32 seconds and then floated to the back of my brain as Accepted Canon.

general plot idea (plot bunny free to good home) is that the whole movie of Matilda happens, right? roll credits. post credits scene: magneto and prof x* show up and r like "that kid is a mutant in a weird little gap in custody" and bc magneto is Like That hes like "we shall take the child by force so she doesnt grow up alone :)" (he sees no issue with this)

but ofc miss honey is like "????? wtf go home homos???" (she is also gay, more on this later) bc she loves matilda!! thats her little guy!!! she JUST got her from the -pound- shitty home situation!!! besides these guys are suspicious as FUCK (telepath who has been making weird middle-distance stares while he talks to his bf in his head and a guy with a fucking purple cape in broad daylight)!!! she says, firmly, "no go fuck urselves"

(matilda also says, firmly, "no go fuck urselves" bc she knows abt stranger danger)

but erik lensherr magnetois still Like That so hes like "no :))) we insist :))))))" but prof x is like "ok alright then lemme deescalate this. how does a tour of our prestigious school's lovely campus sound? :) we cater to gifted students :) matilda would fit right in :)"

and miss honey is like "its much less threatening when ur smile only has one mouth yea sure lets go see the school :)"

(matilda is very much Feeling Charles Enter Her Brain, and is trying to both a. get him to stop that and b. do it back at him)

so they go to school. this is 1993, meaning most of the OG X-men are young adults starting to become a team/take on missions/etc. key point: im going with a rough approximation of canon and make the characters whatever age i fucking feel like. so scott summers is around matilda's age and his dad/older brother(undecided, canon iffy), alex summers is around miss honey's age (for the parallels!!) at your suggestion, storm will be a young adult gay as fuck w miss honey (homophobia toggled false for this universe bc i dont feel like it). wolverine will be wolverine age (i will be fucking with canon so he can be at this party). jean gray will be sane. etc.

and uhhhhh everyone is gay and matilda will save a us politician of my choosing from slaughter bc the blood would scare her new friend scott but will then lock this man in his head so detrimentally and permanently that charles xavier gives her a pat on the back and a candied orange peel.

and miss honey gets to (say) fuck.

*u may be wondering why notorious rivals charles 'prof x' xavier and erik 'magneto' lensherr are showing up to get matilda together. i could give u such a long answer but the short answer is willful denial and the end credits scene of dark pheonix

[ooglywooglies]

reading the bunny man everyone knows dysphoria posts bc like,

i sort of resent him sometimes not bc anything hes doing himself, yknow like i have nothing against gnc guys im a little gnc myself every once in awhile. i just have sort of a weird resentment of they way he seems so ubiquitous in the circles i find myself in (the pro fat, anti racist, transfeminist, non transmed) and part of me feels like its because of how he presents himself. yknow everybody i follow is either bi or a lesbian and hes a beautiful feminine boob boy.

and i sort of struggle with like, the concept of appeal, esp irt my race. i sort of realized as i was reading his posts that yknow bc hes black hes dealt with a hypermasculinization problem his whole life so being gnc, being feminine presenting, is a statement for him in a way that it wouldnt be for me. though i can imagine black trans men who feel like femininity is a lot more dysphoric may feel similarly to the double edged sword im about to describe.

im asian and we are on the opposite end of the spectrum were hyperfeminized/emasculated, obviously asian women are like probably the pinnacle of female sexual fetishization for this reason, being seen as small bodied, childlike, naive/innocent, docile, submissive, and obedient they sort of sit at the farthest end of the spectrum of gendered appeal as long as they actually meet those stereotypical requirements

asian men experience it too though, when youre gay its similar to being a woman (though probably not quite as bad, men still get the benefit of not being women), youre submissive, youre small, youre a bottom, youre obedient, because youre certainly not masculine so you may as well play the part of a woman. if youre straight youre really not worth anything, how could you please a woman, youre small, youre soft, youre weak, youre docile. i think asian men can be elevated out of this, particularly IN asia not so much out of it, through toxic masculinity.

ive struggled with being fetishized for my race my entire life i cant really quantify how much being mixed contributes to it but i know for a fact that it does, ive had people tell me tons of times that im some kind of perfect specimen, that half white and half asian is the best mix (though people tended to be a little let down when they found out im not japanese - also just to be pedantic im not actually half) but anyway, that along with like regular internalized misogyny, ideas of valuing your appearance AS your personhood are quite difficult to escape from i think thats really true for anyone its hard to accept yourself when you feel like youre not the idealized version of yourself that other people find attractive/valuable.

this is why is part of the reason i dropped my typical tomboy presentation as a young adult and sought femininity on purpose for once

because, well, besides the lie i tell that "i just wanted to try it for a bit, to make sure it wasnt what i wanted" it was more a matter of being obsessed with the attention presenting this way got me. its hard not to put yourself on a pedestal when people are always saying things to you like "youre literally my ideal girl" "youre like an anime character in real life" "how are you a real person"

even now, its a humble brag, i post my old pictures so that you too can look at me and think "wow how pretty, how lovely you used to be" because im still tormented by the feeling, that this is all i was ever really worth, even as i said in the moment when i was 22 "none of this is real, the girl disappears as soon as the picture is taken, ill never be her and she will never be me"

and like you can see how it was never just a matter of me being hot right, theres a depersonalization to this that goes deeper than just the fact that im transgender. and i always knew about that part, i was never comfortable with people coming up to me and thinking theyd found some kind of manic pixie anime dream girl, i never gave anyone who did an inch. it got to me even if i separated myself from it mentally enough to find it funny. i know that these people dont see me as a person, i know theyre just creepy pathetic fetishizing racist weeaboos, so i can laugh, i can do this as a form of mockery. you will never get what i have.

but it weighs on you, the sickness was getting to me, i may never fully recover from entertaining all of it, part of it is my fault. i couldnt do it anymore i had to get rid of all of it, burn it all down and just go back to normal, this was never me. but obviously i cant, obviously im haunted by the spectre of femininity, of fetishization, theyre intertwined and cant be untangled. and now i dont have it anymore, the ghost taunts the fact that i am worthless without any of it.

not worthless, no i still have a pussy and big pillowy breasts, i can still be used if it really comes down to it. im just not the pinnacle anymore, ive been slightly used and ruined and i dont know what ive been tainted by, is it the testosterone or the femininity? what will i be when those things are gone? i cant deny all of femininity forever because thatll just be toxic masculinity, what am i going to do become one of those asian guys who gets really into guns or cars? no, and i dont need to because im gay, ill never be able to achieve perfect masculinity because no one can. but does it matter if thats not what i seek?

is masculinity the real equivalent of anti femininity? is anti femininity always a bad thing?

i didnt write any of this because i know the answer tbh, its not so much an essay as a rambling rant. i sort of hate to see salem prancing around displaying his art of his character that looks like him, because he also looks like me, he talks about how embracing femininity feels so freeing for him. that hes felt like not looking like the other trans boys has made him feel lonely and undervalued but realizing he doesnt have to and he can be a man who is also feminine has is fat and has big boobs can make him euphoric. i dislike that. i dislike that he doesnt seem to be haunted by the spectre of femininity the same way i am, that he gets the benefit of being desired and presenting how he wants at the same time.

i know that hes in the minority, that the majority of trans men are not GNC and actually prefer to take the toxic masculinity route to their presentation because they experience dysphoria in a similar way i do. why dont i want to take that route? do i want to be GNC, do i want to be happy and free and feminine like salem? no, i definitely dont or id still be doing it, i enjoy masculinity i just dont like asserting my masculinity. there a piece missing though and i cant figure out exactly what it is, maybe because im hungry and im quickly losing my ability to cognition.

well if ive said anything embarrassing or regretful i wont know til later bc ive lost my ability to read for a bit. oh well probably no one will read this, i do yearn for attention but its probably for the best anyway.

[itneverlasted]

Hellooo Tumblr

It’s been so long (well for me)

I’m pretty confident my anonymous readers have now ghosted their idea of me or my page. I’ll miss you, just because it warmed my heart knowing I’m being heard from afar. :)

I actually don’t want to ruin this page/account bc I have such great yet sad memories of the things I’ve posted and reshared on here and it warms the younger me. I am currently now 25 years old and I’m thinking about making a new account… not sure yet.

2025 is a new year and definitely a lot of things I’ve gathered from myself from the past few years, the good and bad.

The bad: I’m no longer sweet (so I’m told), I’m not as soft and nice like I once was. My humor has changed. My voice has changed. The tone in my voice, has changed. The way I observe things have changed. I have a foul mouth. I’m negative. Many more ..Though, there are reasons for all of these changes. I’m not going to point fingers but it seems that there’s been many arrows in my path that I am trying to avoid.

The good: I am kind. I am considerate. I am giving. I am definitely louder (which actually drives me insane considering how quiet I used to be.) I can be very excited. I am curious. I am generous. I am grateful. The most important thing is, I forget that I am loved.

I want to start off by saying I feel like I can’t write anymore. I mean, I’ve never written anything great but I notice something you won’t understand. Anyways, 25, crazy— I always feel like getting “older” .. I’ve always thought it was a myth cause pfft, not me. I’m supposed to stay young forever—duh. NOPE. You’ll notice changes in your skin, hair, and body. Its saddens me to the core but I was just in a stupid denial lol. Also, girl calm down “25 isn’t old” I KNOW BUT I FEEL LIKE IM STILL 19 or 20. It sucks sooo much.

But I do like the benefits of being old than 21 ;)

For this part you can choose to read or skip. I’m just to lay it out about whatever comes to mind

I’ve gotten closer to my family a lot. Especially my immediate family, which I honestly thought there was no saving. Friendly advice with living in a shit home, it does get better. No matter how horrible your relationship is, it will soon disperse. It took many many MANY tries but you just have to play by ear when you get older.

Friends? God I’m so odd and weird. Idk how to, yanno, keep friendship without getting annoyed all the time (yes I know I blame myself which is why I’ll gladly accept the 2 friends that I have)…. I lied. I never know what “friends” mean. I’m complicated. I have one guy best friend who I can hang with and have been friends for with since kids. He’s super chill, a girls girl, and isn’t annoying. Then there’s this girl but I’ve drifted away from her.. we still talk, just not regularly. I met her through my job. She was funny. I do have a few of gaming friends tho. But I draw a line in that bubble between “online” and “in person”

Boys? Pfffftt. What even is that. I don’t see myself getting married either. If I did holy fuck.

My job suckssss but the money is good sometimes. Mentally and physically I’m checked the fuck out from that place

I learned how to play Minecraft a lot recently and now I. Cannot. Stop. My eyes burn, my posture is fucked, and sleeping schedule is still the same. Terrible. I still can’t get a full 8 hour sleep, not even when I was in school YAY :D but building a lot of cool stuff is fun. Fortnite is still fun ofc

I’ve recently started to love and subscribe a few people on YouTube. I was never a podcast fan but only for Bad Friends. They are so hilarious. Absolutely love it. Kai Cenat is also a G. Adore his videos and his shopping experiences at Walmart. Last but not least can’t forget CASEOH. Hehe, the best <3 those are just my top 3

I suck at gyming. Lifting weights is great and all but I feel like I’m beefy. I definitely prefer the High Intensity Hit Training. I love the idea of my whole body moving and getting my heart pumped. But I stopped going for almost a month because I got caught up with working 12-13 hour shifts back to back so I had no rest, no motivation, and no fuel. Then I went on vacation 3 weeks ago and finally came back and started my gym again. It definitely feels good to be back for the most part.

Omg I’ve been seeing so many people I know from highschool and if you know me, I PANIC. Why? I don’t know!! What if I say hi and I don’t get noticed back and I’m like ok great imma kms rn cause I look like a fool… But when I don’t say hi they notice me and I look like an asshole LIKE WHAT DO YALL WANT FROM MEEE. Also what if they judge my appearance or something idk what if they catch me in my ugliest form, no makeup, leggings, weird oversized top, and shitty hair LIKEE… do people want conversation during their shopping? Pumping gas? Working out??

I’m running out of whatever more comes to mind. Also bc my hands are cramping with how I’m holding my phone rn.. it’s 1:59 am currently so I should prolly dip

Maybe I’ll write again later????? In life?? Highly doubt it ¿?

[away-ward]

Long post!

1. This might be an unpopular opinion, but i actually like that alex fought in the train with emmy because she was jealous of em. + alex was probably jealous of emmy too because alex and aydin was seduced by em. A big part of the sex in the BC shower and the train was because em was the one doing the talking and seducing and going after what she wants, teasing the men and women there, no? Not alex, and what was alex known for? Exactly this but even she (and probably his ex fiance and othe rhigh profile women) couldnt get aydin in bed together after everything, but this woman aydin just met for a couple of days is serving up his fantasy and contributed to him being pleasured? In alex's mind, she was pronably angry af at emmy, even angrier when she wanted to touch her too, and unlike rika and banks or even kai, it was not business hour, she really did found emmy attractive and wanna get on with her, so she probably thought "ok if i wanna fuck her, why wont aydin?" So instead of seeing this scene as only emmy pleasuring alex, it also means that theres alex and aydin who were always getting what they want and dominating the conversation or sex, seducing people left and right, but with emmy in their equation, THEY were the one who became charmed, and yes, alex didnt like that because em got aydins attention. I'm pretty sure if alex was not in the picture, or will, aydin would've wanted emmy ☠️

2. Unlike you guys, i never thought that alex ever thought she owned will *like that*. The most extreme is just her protectiveness of her best friend and family, which throughout the whole series every woman and man did the same thing, they're physically and emotionally intimate with each other, they casually become possessive over one another, doesnt matter if it siblings, friends, partners etc, and we can see, even that stoic doofus michael was protective of emmy when martin came near her later on at the end of nightfall. +Em was never their friend, and they dont do casual for best friends and family, so how were they supposed to react to and approach her knowing she put them in jail without caring to confess before? A bit entitled for emmy and us to ask for more from them, no? But i can totally see why it's understandable in emmy's pov, she could've seen the whole situation differently just like how will and alex misunderstood emmy's connection with aydin. But whether or not aydin wnated em like how alex and em wnated each other in the train, i think it could be possible, and add to the flames of anger for will and alex (which was drama and messy and at this point, anything that put will alex a peg down, i'm all up for it, lmao, im a messy person 🤣🤞) but we'll never know now how that'll play out in the future. And like i said, this was probably the biggest reason why alex was mad, because aydin wanted em, and em couldve had aydin even without doing much (or even if she might not be interested in aydin herself).

3. I feel like in this book because emmy was the more dominant one, i actually dont see it as her pleasuring alex was something bad or megative, the way we look and frame these scenes in outr minds play a big part to how much we accept it (again probably just my unpopular opinion), because in my mind, that scene was an empowering move for emory, because she gets what she wants, while her man was watching, and it shows that people wants her and wants to look at her too. Women who gives is just as empowering as those who gets back, idk why a lot of you anons and asks always have this implication that being served or pleasure is the only way for empowerment for em, because that thought alone is weird, but maybe it's just me who didnt find your questions and answers kinda ok? Idk, emmy was doing what she wants and maybe it was ugly right, but hey who cares? Not emmy, because the one who was pridefully trying to prove a point to their friends by dragging the other down was alex, not emory (in fact emory had a history of not giving a fuck about what people think of her, so do you really think she would start now?), so even if alex play this game, emmy was not losing anything even out of pride, because after eveyrthing had happened, alex realised that she was the one embarrassingly playing this winning game alone. This was how iinterpreted the bridal gown scene with alex and emmy too, that alex felt guilty towards emmy because the game was one-sided. I remember that in the train, when emmy called her out when alex said em didnt know how to sacrifice lke her, alex couldnt verbally fight back because m was right, alex just didnt want to understand her out of her shallow pride. She fought her physically, but it should how kinda dumb alex was in that moment, Which also goes to show how big-hearted and mature emmy was about the whole situation. Emmy had to get the short end of the stick again, but hey, at leats the characterisation was consistent 🤣☠️😭 (im so sorry emmy for this pun)

4. Now, Could all of these scenes be handled better? Of course, but with characters as immature and wrongly and immaturely loud (most of the time) as will and alex, always talking faster than they think because they do whatever they "feel" like and that is comsidered as the benchmark of "freedom" instead of irrationality like how we and emmy saw it, do you think a rational comversation can happen in the midst of chaos? With will and alex? 🤣 no fucking way, hahaha! I have to laugh when i see someone recommending this because as much as thats OUR wish fulfilment, we dont always get what we want and in this case, a mature and understanding will who was not hurting and able to talk without wanting to just destroy eveyrthing. a lot of dn scenes had more than one meaning, and i dont think all these scenes you guys have mentioned were only catering to one pov, because clearly like mine, it was beyond just emmy giving into alex, but also everyone giving into each other. A scene where emmy getting pleasured by being submissive most likely wont happen because SHE was the one who always seduce and dominate people, and thats how most dominant women gets pleasured, even in real life or in WLW dominant relationships, by dominating others no matter their pride or unjust anger. Idk why we're surprised here and it was not also seen in a different pov like it was something good that a dominating woman gets what she wants, even when her pride was thrown out of the window. Maybe because ikm queer so thats why i can understand this scene better. The only thing that i fucking hated about this scene is the fact that will would let em fuck alex, but not aydin. If they"re all queer, then why would there be a difference between em getting pleasured by and for aydin any different than with alex? This can come off as queer or WLW fetish instead. The same goes when em was ok when will hooked up with damon, but not when he was with alex? Borderline queer fetishes are here in these scenes and its implication, not anywhere else as far as i can catch them by now. But i can also understand how people get angry at alex unlike damon because damon made it clear that he wasnt will's potential love interest, unlike alex who always look like she might snatch will from emmy especially in emmy's povs.

5. Also another interesting point to add is the horsemen, banks and emmy were very prideful people about their weaknesses unlike rika, winter and alex (and even will to some point), they just never talk about their pain or hardship, and its affecting their relationship with others, so something just has to give for these prideful people to talk about it or so something about their weaknesses in order to bridge the gap between them and everyone else, and the classic fashion for pd was through shocking and horrid sex scenes (physical intimacy) imstead of honest talk (verbal intimacy). In that train, emmy finally submit to them all and accepting their all, and them too submitting to her, and for someone who took nearly 10 years to give in like emmy, i think the train scene was shocking, but the impact of it, if you relatively consider about her 10 years of absence, it doesnt really NOT make sense. I feel like we're getting angry at the scene because out of pride as the readers who we want our wants catered to us, we do not want to lose against alex in this game of cat and mouse, but we're not emmy guys, this was how SHE solves her problem, and she was TIRED OF BLEEDING. She was not ashamed of dominating and playing the field too. Something has to give. It's clear that even will thinks like that and even alex later on was more subdued with her behaviour when she met em again in that bridal gown scene, because alex was the one actually losing, not emmy. It's a win fo them but alex, as a friend doing all of that, at what cost? She lost.

6. They cant be like that forever, especially when em wanted to be with will, and is now more accepting to the idea of fitting in with the horsemen and their wives (because she gets to trust and love herself more now, and more inclined to work with his family instead of self-sabotaging herself thinking she wasnt enough to keep up with all of his "amazing life" and him too with everything that is her), and everyone then with emmy because now they know she's with them for life. She's theirs now in ther little cult family with that little cult family crest of a chocker and rongs. Because the ball was almost always in her court then, even in high school, except for damon, no one was against her, and even later damon slowly warmed up to her, but she just never threw it their way and thats also why will couldnt bring her anywhere even in the mask giving scene because he thought she didnt want this lifestyle. Unlike rika in corrupt who already admitted to want to be like them and join this hell shit family. We might not like her to be in this shitty family, but emmy like it, likes them, never hated them, and finally found enough time and love for herself to want to admit to be apart of them, and them with her. Her going to SF and ditching will would be some readers' wish fulfilment but was nit what emmy would wnated for her life. The fact that she went back home after the horsemen went to jail, and would worry when his brother always causes trouble for them since high school showed that in a corner in he rheart where she lets herself be honest, emory did care about will and the horsemen, even if her mouth says no and her actions move backwards.

7. It's all very layered i think, it wasnt as easy as "oh emmy was pleasuring alex and thats not what we want evn though thats what emmy wants", "lf the horsemen were shit to her for no reason" etc etc. like you all got your points here and there, and im adding this ask to add my pov too, +and i believe some of these opinions were already discussed in your older posts about michael and kai's response towards emmy in the train, right? but do let me know if what i said makes sense, because it made sense to me but it might not to others. Sometimes what we want from an author might not fit into our narrative because we kinda already have something in our mind that we want from themand we're fixated on it, and i feel like this is the case for people reading nightfall especially, but this doesnt mean it's good or bad, it just impacts how we read the story. However i also agree that these atrocities could've been done better and pd should really get their shit together and write a better story. It's not a simple series with a black or white pov, i feel like a lot scenes could kean different, IF you're willing to engage yourself in a different pov which a lot of you guys might mot simply because what you guys wnat is nkt guven here, just some two cents from me. I believe a discussion can still be made though, only after considering many povs without limiting an option because lets say "we dont want aydin alex here" "oh this could be a different plot". I liked your "No Apologies" fic but i dont think someone as daring to make shitty turn around arc like pd would go for your tamer plot for both will and emmy, something MORE had to happen, so it was a good fic, but i cannot ever see these fanfic characterisations of emmy by you happening in PD's writing or plot. The willemmy in your fics were always a bit mellow than in pd's, and i feel like it's because it's usually lacking in weird and shocking actions or words that were always present in pd's works. It's canon and fanfics for a reason, i enjoy them both, but for different reasons. They serve their purpose between author's voice and fan works.

Anyway, It's just a goofy fun series to not be taken too seriously at the end of the day, and like your older posts, i agree, some things might make sense, some thing might not, but i like the discussion going on for it though, because the way you guys interpret this series was woahh, very different than me and thats ok. It's because these characters who always feel everything deeply, i feel like we also get carried away with them, the irony! Sorry if this post is too much, or if i come off as harsh, i was just trying yo put two and two together, putting aside feelings and making one scene made semse with the other. Idk if that worked or not.

Hey! Thanks for taking the time to send this in. It was actually very refreshing to get.

but i actually like that alex fought in the train with emmy because she was jealous of em. + alex was probably jealous of emmy too because alex and aydin was seduced by em.

Not wholly unpopular. This idea as a reason for Alex and Em’s back and forth, specifically on the train, has been bought up before. I believe their idea was that Alex felt inferior to Em, but I’d have to check.

This woman aydin just met for a couple of days is serving up his fantasy and contributed to him being pleasured? In alex’s mind, she was pronably angry af at emmy

I personally never felt that Aydin sincerely wanted Em. My interpretation was always that he saw her as being the same as him, and wanted to use her to hurt Will like Alex had hurt him. Not that he had ill-will for Em, but she was never his focus. From what I gathered, he only ever wanted Alex. And I can’t really comment about whether he would have wanted her if things were different, but it’s open to interpretation.

, i never thought that alex ever thought she owned will *like that*.

What I said in that previous post (if I'm thinking of the right one from earlier) probably came out wrong. I didn’t mean that Alex felt Will’s was hers, in that she was possessive over him, but more like you said – hers to protect. Will was her reflection; they were one and the same. They weren’t in love, but they were more than friends (thinking of it from their perspective).

Em was never their friend, and they dont do casual for best friends and family, so how were they supposed to react to and approach her knowing she put them in jail without caring to confess before? A bit entitled for emmy and us to ask for more from them, no?

I’ve expressed similar thoughts in the past. I think it’s important to remember (but also easy to forget) that, one: unreliable narrators very much exist, and two: every character is working with different information. From the past to the present, the reader is the only one with all the pieces as we go.

Even I get lost in the thought of how things should have gone because I’ve gone over this so many times, but you’re bringing up very good points.

Because in my mind, that scene was an empowering move for emory, because she gets what she wants, while her man was watching, and it shows that people wants her and wants to look at her too.

This is a fair way to look at the situation. I think for myself, I’ve always had an issue with this scene because I didn’t see the build-up to Alex and Emmy. For me, Emmy saying she wanted Alex came out of nowhere. I also didn’t understand how they became such good friends after spending one night drinking together.

I have a post where I go into my thoughts on Alex as a character. I don’t think her role within the story was bad. Unlike some, I don’t wish Alex never existed (though I do understand why people feel that way, and occasionally think the things they have to say are funny. What can I say, I think angry rants can be funny. Sue me.). But I get irritated with the way Alex is written.

So, because of those things, I don’t understand why Emmy wants Alex. I do get that Emmy is finally going after what she wants and on her terms, which great for her, but as for why it’s Alex? That I don’t get.

A lot of Anons do have a problem with Emmy always being the one to give and bend. So, to see her dominating Alex, who has recently said and done some pretty nasty things to Emory personally, doesn’t feel good. Even if Alex was acting out of jealousy, she still took the same actions.

This was how iinterpreted the bridal gown scene with alex and emmy too, that alex felt guilty towards emmy because the game was one-sided.

You know, it’s been awhile since I read this scene, and I was working from memory, which admittedly could be faulty. It could be that Alex did express some guilt over the one-sided game she was playing. I do remember her apologizing, but I also remember Emory stopping her, which is what I was pulling from. The conclusion is that Emory is always the one being the bigger person when Alex rightfully owes her an apology.

I think readers get mad that PD didn’t want Alex to apologize?

Which also goes to show how big-hearted and mature emmy was about the whole situation. Emmy had to get the short end of the stick again, but hey, at least the characterization was consistent

Yeah, exactly this.

Of course, but with characters as immature and wrongly and immaturely loud (most of the time) as will and alex, always talking faster than they think because they do whatever they "feel" like and that is comsidered as the benchmark of "freedom" instead of irrationality like how we and emmy saw it, do you think a rational comversation can happen in the midst of chaos?

This is my general feelings towards the idea of the characters “just talking.” Like… even if they were to communicate, it probably wouldn’t do anything because they’re all just talking faster than they think (what a great way to phrase that!).

Because as much as that’s OUR wish fulfilment

It really is. Because of the general discourse on tumblr, sometimes I think that readers have forgotten that characters aren’t always going to do things the “right” way or a way that makes us feel good. For me, when a character behaves in a way that doesn’t make sense, it can draw out my curiosity. Why did they do that? What’s making them act this irrational way? Can I explain it? And even if the explanation is messy, there’s still something to it, I think.

and i dont think all these scenes you guys have mentioned were only catering to one pov, because clearly like mine, it was beyond just emmy giving into alex, but also everyone giving into each other.

Like Will said, Emmy was finally going over the cliff with them. And they were seeing what she was made of.

It was not also seen in a different pov like it was something good that a dominating woman gets what she wants, even when her pride was thrown out of the window.

I see what you’re saying and why it would be a good thing from Em’s pov, but again, for me, it goes back to not understanding why Alex is suddenly the one needing to be dominated. I’m all for Emmy going after what she wanted, taking it without asking. But I don’t see the bond between her and Alex, and I don’t see how it fixes anything between her and Will.

I also don’t like that this is the last fully fleshed out scenes in the series. Every other scene that would happen between the main couple after this is fade to black. It really does emphasis that Will and Emory take a back seat in their own book, and this is feeling is only amplified by how much Alex is featured afterward compared to Emmy, and the kind of scenes that Alex is the focus of in both Will and Emmy's pov.

Maybe because ikm queer so I why I can understand this scene better. The only thing that I fucking hated about this scene is the fact that will would let em fuck alex, but not aydin. If they”re all queer, then why would there be a difference between em getting pleasured by and for aydin any different than with alex? This can come off as queer or WLW fetish instead.

This is a fair explanation for what other anons have been saying. I’ve said that I couldn’t comment on it because I don’t know the intent PD, a queer author, was writing with, but this explanation does help. I had noticed the pattern, but hadn’t made the connection.

. The same goes when em was ok when will hooked up with damon, but not when he was with alex?

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think that Em was ever mad about Will hooking up with Alex or anyone else. She wanted him to be happy, even if that was without her. It hurt that it couldn’t be her, and of course she didn’t want his conquests shoved in her face – which is what he did all the time. That’s where I saw her jealousy mostly come in to play. She could acknowledge what he had done and be fine, but when he started taunting her is when she’d get angry and react.

But your point stands. That was just a little side thought on my end.

I feel like we're getting angry at the scene because out of pride as the readers who we want our wants catered to us, we do not want to lose against alex in this game of cat and mouse, but we're not emmy guys, this was how SHE solves her problem, and she was TIRED OF BLEEDING.

I think it was in character for Emmy for her to want to take charge of the situation. She was never passive with Will; why would she be with anyone else.

I really just think the issue is the dynamic between Emory and Alex needed to be fleshed out a bit more.

Because she gets to trust and love herself more now, and more inclined to work with his family instead of self-sabotaging herself thinking she wasn’t enough to keep up with all of his “amazing life” and him too with everything that is her

I just really liked how you phrased this.

We might not like her to be in this shitty family, but emmy like it, likes them, never hated them, and finally found enough time and love for herself to want to admit to be apart of them, and them with her. Her going to SF and ditching will would be some readers' wish fulfilment but was nit what emmy would wnated for her life. The fact that she went back home after the horsemen went to jail, and would worry when his brother always causes trouble for them since high school showed that in a corner in he rheart where she lets herself be honest, emory did care about will and the horsemen, even if her mouth says no and her actions move backwards.

Yeah.

And this is also why I like working within canon universe a lot of the time. Because when, as a writer, you’re forced to work within the decisions the characters have made for themselves, it helps you understand and sympathize with their decisions.

It’s all very layered I think

It is all very layered. Absolutely. There is no clear-cut, right and wrong interpretation.

Do let me know if what I said makes sense, because it made sense to me but it might not to others

I think a lot of what you’ve said makes sense, and I agree with the majority of it. I do think some of it is going to be unpopular, but different interpretations is just a thing to deal with in fandoms.

Sometimes what we want from an author might not fit into our narrative because we kinda already have something in our mind that we want from themand we’re fixated on it, and I feel like this is the case for people reading nightfall

Oh it absolutely is. PD said so themselves and the negative reactions to NF is one of the reasons they don’t really want to come back to the series. And even in the bonus scene, you could see them struggling with what to write because they already knew that half the fandom was going to hate whatever it was they came up with. Which turned out to be the case with most of the people here.

Again, I can only say what I think based on my experiences, but I feel that part of the issue that what you said before – PD writes these “shocking and horrid sex scenes (physical intimacy) instead of honest talk (verbal intimacy)”, but since we’ve already had the physical intimacy, a lot of readers are ready for the domestic, verbal intimacy, and it just never comes.

I liked your "No Apologies" fic but i dont think someone as daring to make shitty turn around arc like pd would go for your tamer plot for both will and emmy, something MORE had to happen, so it was a good fic, but i cannot ever see these fanfic characterisations of emmy by you happening in PD's writing or plot

and i feel like it's because it's usually lacking in weird and shocking actions or words that were always present in pd's works

Oh yeah, I totally get that. This is very accurate and will always be so. I won’t ever write to the degree of wild, weird, or shocking that PD writes. It's just not what I'm interested in writing. My fics have just been a way to fill a hole in the narrative that I feel, and I post with the hopes that others get a moment of fun from it.

It's just a goofy fun series to not be taken too seriously at the end of the day

Couldn’t agree more. As I’ve said, this isn’t a series that was meant to be looked at this closely. It was meant to be a fun rollercoaster of a series.

And I think there is something very fun about this series and the characters and the writing that keeps readers engaged despite all its flaws, because otherwise half of us wouldn’t have made it through NF.

Sorry if this post is too much, or if i come off as harsh, i was just trying yo put two and two together, putting aside feelings and making one scene made semse with the other. Idk if that worked or not.

Not too much at all. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

-KO