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chainsawcorazon · 1 year

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didnt wanna hijack someone's post with the Disk Horse, but I just wanna note that bernard being tim's love interest in 2023 is VERY different from him being a side-side-side character in the early 2000s. i think there's definitely a generational divide on how the relationship's perceived bc there's absolutely a difference between how bernard and tim's relationship is portrayed during their time in school versus in adulthood.

part of reading tim's coming out story in the 2020s with relation to bernard is finally acknowledging that we finally broke tim out of his amber glass. this is also, i will note, a SPECIFIC kind of coming-out-story that won't resonate with folks who weren't living through that specific era of homophobia where the fallout of the AIDS crisis overlapped with the rise of mass surveillance and that post-9/11 grimdark take on superheroes across ALL media. it was a weird fucking time. it also won't resonate with anyone who wasn't "growing up" with tim during his time as robin. now, do you HAVE to know every little thing about tim to accept this piece of character development? no, you don't, but you DO have to take into consideration that tim was locked in the time vault for a veryyy long time and a lot of things, including his on-and-off with stephanie, were part of the status quo for his character long before dc decided to pull the trigger with tim's bisexuality.

but what happens when the forever-sixteen isn't sixteen anymore? he grows up! he gets to reflect! he gets to try new things without being held back by the amber glass. time is the key factor here! if you look at tim and bernard's relationship through the eyes of the robin run of that era, of course it's gonna feel weird! that tim could only really take bernard in doses, bc that tim was as much of an asshole teen as bernard was. with the breaking-of-the-amber, we now learn that tim had to do some serious reflection to get to the point where he could say that this guy he used to know COULD be someone special. if you follow tim's story through the lens of a closeted queer raised in the era of when that robin run was being published, tim's just another queer guy who's finally come to terms with the fact that, that dude he went to high school with who he just ran into at the target might not be so bad after all. he's kinda cute, actually. did he think he was cute back in the tenth grade? probably not, but he's not in tenth grade anymore, now is he?

could DC comics have created an entirely new character to serve the narrative purpose of tim's coming out special? sure. then we woulda had ten years worth of criticism from fandom about how tim magically found a guy superhot and thus dumped stephanie over it, and we would circle back to the same argument about whether tim was a douchebag for dumping stephanie for some rando, and that his bisexuality is an asspull versus 'relevant character development'. either way, it would have upset the status quo. now, is that to say timsteph was never real? no! tim and stephanie talking about his erratic behavior and him coming out to her was to SPECIFICALLY address how him being bisexual isn't meant to downgrade their relationship, or that their love wasn't real. for anyone who's still whining about timsteph not being real anymore bc bernbear entered the chat, i've long stopped seeing it as legitimate criticism bc there are YEARS worth of content with them to indulge in. shitting on a coming-out story and a romance that hasn't even had five real-time years to be explored is just straight up crass and highlights much more insidious problems in the fandom aka the rampant homophobia, quick-to-anger behavior of fans who never learned media or litcrit, and motherfuckers who ride or die for status quo like it'll kill them to enjoy something tangential.

long story short, timbern real and so is timsteph, and one of these days, inshallah bartkon will be real too.

#timbern #tim drake #bernard dowd #stephanie brown #timsteph #real talk #dc comics

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mcwentfandomtraveling · 10 months

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A/n : Woke up feeling like there is absolutely no greater treasure in this world then women! So I wanted to write a lil' thing about my fictional wife Rika <3 Also I have my period so ouch, why not two birds with one stone this? :D anyways thank you! Please no constructive criticism, I'm not in a place mentally to handle it since I have a lot going on...anyways enjoy :3 sending love and warm huggies to everyone! This is my first time publishing this kind of thing, so obviously it's not that good as I'm embarrassed with every word I write but I'm trying anyways, gotta start somewhere! But hey, at least I tried! Apologies if Rika is a little ooc, I don't think we had a lot to go off for her character so I did my best...

Pls minors dni with this post, I'll write a fluffier fun thing for you guys later ;-;

Warnings : Period stuff, vaginal fingering, slight body worship, Y/n is still a little shy and new to showing off her body.

My Whole World

Rika x Fem! Reader

Y/n just couldn't do it anymore.

She'd done everything so that everyone would be comfortable, she took on some of the Chairwoman's tasks, she helped the gym leaders with new strategies and techniques, she filed the progress reports for the Star training centers, she'd volunteered at the academy, and it all just became so exhausting.

Then finally it came-

Her break day! Y/n was so excited! She'd been waiting forever to finally unwind!

However seems that her wish just wasn't meant to be, that fine morning she'd discovered the bedsheets underneath her were stained with her blood.

"Oh come on! I just wanted one day" she mumbled, her shoulders slumping in her loose pyjamas. Y/n didn't pay attention to her surroundings when a sudden voice interrupted her thoughts, "One day to do what sweetheart?"

Y/n quickly snapped out of her thoughts to see her lover, Rika standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Nothing! Don't worry about it- Hey! I thought you had Elite four stuff to do today!" Y/n chided, "you'll be late if you don't hurry up! Come here! how about you ride one of my pokemon to work?" She added.

Rika simply laughed and hugged her cute girlfriend. "Today is basically just paperwork I brought home! I'm done anyways" She said bringing an end to her lover's worries.

Y/n looked up at Rika wanting to ask another question when Rika suddenly lifted her into her arms. "Y/n my sweetheart, today is your day off, so please let me take care of you" she said.

Y/n looked up at Rika, blushing and stuttering and feeling like a mess "But-But-"

Rika only smiled and said "today is about you, my darling" as she sat her lover down on a sofa in the study "Now don't worry about the sheets, cleaning, housework or anything! The Woopers will help with that, just focus on me" She added.

Y/n looked up at her, speechless as a million thoughts raced through her head at once.

Rika gently held her close, arms wrapped snuggly around her beloved woman.

She gently fell into a kiss, an electrifying silence filled the room exept for a soft panting when they stopped for air.

Electricity of the moment shifting as a ground shaking love and desire filled thier eyes.

Rika gently traced Y/n's curves feeling the warmth that radiated through her lover's clothes.

"Rika, you know I can't today" Y/n mumbled.

"Can't what?" Rika asked.

Y/n blushed again, "Can't have sex, I have my period" she answered softly as she awkwardly looked away.

"And why not?" Rika asked again.

"I don't want to get you dirty with my blood" Y/n said shifting awkwardly to look away again.

Rika gently held her lover's face still as she spoke her mind to her dearest love, "There's nothing dirty about blood, it's life, it's nature! Everything about you is desirable, you're more the just a treasure Y/n, you're my world."

Y/n blushed hearing Rika's words "Are you sure Rika?" she asked as Rika gently slid off Y/n clothes, feeling her warmth directly.

"I've never been more sure sweetheart"

Rika gently massaged Y/n's breasts, gently rubbing her thumbs over Y/n's nipples.

Y/n hummed in delight as Rika gently pushed her down onto the sofa hungrily kissing her again and again, then moving to pepper kisses all over her her body.

Rika got down to Y/n's thighs.

"Ready Y/n?" Rika asked.

"Yeah" Y/n replied breathlessly.

Rika gently moved Y/n's legs apart looking at what she desired.

"You're my beautiful princess today, so focus on your own pleasure ok?" Rika asked.

Y/n blushed, not knowing just what to say.

It felt nice being cared for.

Rika gently moved her fingers along her folds not bothered by any blood and instead admiring every detail of her lover's body, she traced her fingers up and down her lover's labia before stopping as she went up one last time and focusing on Y/n's clit.

Y/n whimpered softly, attempting to stop any noise from coming out.

"No no sweetheart, I love the noises you make, keep going" Y/n whimpered softly called out Rika's name again and again.

Rika smiled "Awww, you're so cute sweetheart, there's kind of an innocence to your moans" She commented.

"I, don't usually do this kind of thing" Y/n admitted.

Rika gently moved her fingers inside Y/n earning a little yelp of surprise at first which then started turning into moans of pleasure as Rika knows just where to massage.

"What kind of thing my sweet? Period sex?" She asked.

"Sex or even masterbation in general" Y/n responded, awkwardly looking away.

Rika giggled slightly at the sight.

"Don't worry my sweet Y/n, you'll get more experience! For now I'll treasure your cute shyness! It's a lovely sight" she replied.

Rika gently kept massaging Y/n's g-spot earning sweet whimpers from her shy lover.

Rika melted at the sight of her lover blushing and gripping the fabric underneath her, she just looked so cute! "I'd give you the world you know" she said.

Y/n hummed at her lover's words, feeling the delight and the pleasure filling up her thoughts with nothing but Rika. "You've already given me something far beyond ultra space or even time travel" Y/n responded.

Rika giggled "Oh, shush you! I'm glad you're feeling better" she said.

Y/n nodded, "yeah a lot."

Rika smiled, "great! Did you want to keep going or should I clean you up?" She asked.

Y/n blushed and nodded at the second half of the sentence.

"Awww! Alright" Rika replied.

"She gently lifted Y/n in her arms and brought her to the bathroom where she gently cleaned her off with warm water and bubbly soap.

Rika's heart wouldn't stop melting at the cute sight of her lover covered in soap.

She gently took the shower head and rinsed her off.

Once she turned off the shower head she saw the absolute cutest sight, Y/n gently shook the water off and smiled leaning back.

"Awwww you're cuter then a puppy pokemon" Rika cooed as she cuddled her still slightly wet lover.

"Love you" Y/n said softly.

Rika kept cuddling her closer.

"You're such a treasure! you know that?" Rika said.

"You mean more then any treasure ever will" Y/n said back.

Rika fell in love all over again.

"Aww, you're such a sweetheart love! Let's get you dressed" Said Rika as she gently carried her lover to the bedroom.

#pokemon rika #pokemon scarlet and violet #Pokemon Scarlet and Violet Rika #Pokemon Rika x fem reader #Sappic Rika #Slightly ooc Rika #I did my best #first time doing this kind of thing #trying not to think that much #I know I made mistakes #I just wanted to try to challenge myself today #I'm glad I did #love Rika #hugs!#sending cuddles and huggies and snuggles #have a lovely day today

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lilac-melody · 5 months

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Hii again!!

I'm the anon from last night (afternoon?), and thankyouthankyou so much for answering my ask haha. It made me excited when I saw that you needed two times to read it (when I read your answer I also needed some time to reread, I got up and even read while walking, couldn't stay put 😅)

And I wanna say, thank you for sharing them (your fics), and I mean sharing them, not just writing them bc I still think it's wonderful that you enjoy them, but sharing them is a lot other deal where you gotta be at the expense of hateful criticism and such, which I know can be ignored but it's still there, and is scary to open about you, about something that you made and people just being people don't understanding what a big deal is that, bc that way we got to read them and enjoy them and feel in general something whathever that is joy or sadness.

I specially enjoy those

I specially enjoy those fics of yours that are just for the lols haha, I get a good laugh without the urge of finishing a long one, bc once I start reading one I won't stop (except to attend the necesities that haha) though I also like your long ones, like Ikigai haha man that was a ride, I remember being at the edge of my seat just looking for their first signs of falling in love, and being exasperated at Yuujirou but also sad with him running away, I also loved Ken in that fic, even though I think he should have been there more for Aizou, just like in the canon but I understand that it was a lot to take and not anybody can do it, I also liked them being Prince x comoner, haha the change of peace was great bc Yuujirou is usually more prince like with his arrogant cute little attitudes and Aizou being like his loyal lovable idiot haha, right now I don't remember the name of the fic, but there was this one where Yuujirou and Aizou being both princes and Yuujirou is in this arranged marriage and Aizou is devastated about it and then true love (the kiss) saving the day, and the fic where Yuujirou is kidnapped, though I can't talk much about this one bc I don't wanna spoil anyone but the turn at the end was great haha 😆 Aizou is incredible, though poor Hiyori, suffering no matter the universe with those two around, though in a way still getting paid haha.

And there are a lot other great fics I've read, though I must confess I haven't read all of them, I got those ones that I haven't read saved in a big group (in Chorme). And I'm just not deleting them for my life haha, though my Ram is mad at me😅.

And ohhhh your origin story in writing 😍 it's cool, I'm sure I would have just wrote the definitions haha, writing a short story is still being pretty creative, specially when you have to use some words in specific and not something in my opinion anyone can do

I still think you're pretty cool and amazing, (yeah I always read the tags), and it's cool being mean and antisocial (I mean, strangers are usually soo fake friendly, I've got people that are like this that I just have known them like less than two hours and bc I give the vibe that I'm smart?? I dunno 😑 try to take advantage of that, whan I'm usually more lost than them haha, but if I don't return the "gesture" of being friendly I got the "looks" of being strange and I guess antisocial?? I just want to being left alone to read in peace man, but it's imposible so I have just resigned to that destiny), in my book people will always suck, they lie, they brush others off, they seem perfect in a way I don't understand bc they are accepted with their peers even when it seems fake to me, and I will never understand that, and even some of them are infiurating being so much at their element (that element being great at socialicing, where I struggle) but the world is like that and if we (you and me, my dear author LStar-sensei, or femme-malewife-sensei??) ever where to be in the same place I think it would be nice to just being the both of us in our mental space?? (Dunno if this makes sense hhahaha) but being just there is nice (I guess in a way we are right now, interacting like this. Being antisocial and mean is fine, bc if you're being mean to someone, they must've likely did something deserved to be treated mean, no matter if that something is minuscule in theirs or other peoples points of view, only you know how you're feeling and getting others to get it is hard enough to explain, so in a way being respectful is enough for me)

And I wanna say that even though it makes me sad (to the point of crying a little sometimes) when an author delets or abandonds their works for wathever reason they have, I will always respect it. Bc it's something you shared with us, and you have all the right to feel how you feel towards something you wrote and act however you seem the best, and it's also fine to not finish everything you write, I'm not a writer, so is hard for me to get it, but I swear to you it's fine if you ever move on to other things or lost interest or motivation to continue writing soemthing (maybe we will cross paths in another fandom, one never knows) I just hope you continue with joy doing wathever makes you happy (though as a reader it really makes me sad when authors delete their works, and as a reader that has read some beautiful pieces of art unfinished, I still keep rereading them sometimes, even though they are not finished I still get the joy of the journey of the characteres no matter how short or long or even how crack it is haha, bc I remember them, those great stories that help me get through another day, week, month and even though I'm still hopeful I could get the joy of getting even just one chapter someday, I will always respect the author and hope they're doing well with their lives, even if it's short the time that we conected in a great story, I just hope that they're well and yeah I will feel that way towards you one day if it ever happens, bc you're great and don't let anyone let you the oposite, though it's also fine if you just ignore them hihihi )

And yeahhhh, origin stories of you getting into lipxlip and yuumori. 😆 I think I share with you almost how I got into yuumori, bc let's be sincere, it's hard to get that almost instantaneous click with every story one sees, the diference with me is that I got into it again bc you wrote a fic of them 😊 which I must confess haven't read it yet, but I will definetly do it when I have time, I just want to reread some parts of the manga (to get into the mood if you get what I mean haha😅)

And yeahsss, I think you answered everything of that ask of mine and even more, thank you so much!! And sorry if I extended more that neccesary My mind is rambling and doesn't know when to stop (or summarize) sometimes haha

- Saludos 🤗

Ahahahaha thank you! I'm glad you like them! Yeah out of all of my multichaps for lxl, I'd say Ikigai is my fav. Or The BL Experience, which focuses on new jobs for lxl to expand on...and my fic that focuses moreso on the mystery rather than the ship In The Pursuit of Happiness. I had fun with that one too. I'm quite proud of these ones, even if I still cringe @ some of the chapters on all of them lmao.

I hope you're reading my current wip Dream Faded !! I'm really excited for this one and I'm looking forward to being able to update it!

But thank you for your kind words! I'll do my best to be a decent role model 😭

#I just got home from work and im dead exhausted sorry for the wonky replies lolol #it is a bit late and I still need to get some stuff done so i wont be able to update tonight...but tomorrow for sure I'll update #anoask

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copsecore · 1 year

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My Thoughts About Hot Boi Summer ‘23:

CW/TW: i will be non-specifically AND specifically referencing at least semi-nsfw content so please dont read if that doesn’t fly with you in any way, please be responsible!

[PSA: THIS IS MY OWN OPINION OKAY - AND I MEAN NONE OF IT WITH ANY MALICE - TY]

DAVID:

Holy shit what the fuck this was Amazing (im referencing the poll on this post because erik did the results on stream, so yeah). David was in my top three picks for the poll and I was gutted that he didn’t seem to get very high - but i think that’s coz it was the first video, so maybe people had forgotten about it/it wasn’t as much in the forefront of the majority’s minds by the time the poll was released. Pretty much no negative thoughts.

VINCENT:

WE NEED MORE CUTE 7/11 DATES OKAY PLEASE ITS SO SWEET. Ofc the snack puns coming in Clutch ugh i loved those. My only issue (“issue”) was literally the same as why i wasn’t over the moon when sam was voted for the ba (sue me. i liked it anyway) and that was just that we had a vincent one a few months ago, and also a pretty pre-sexual vid after that. Also the fact that lovely literally grabbed his junk in semi-(hah, pun)public, but it’s the anti-PDA in me that disliked that part, so feel free to ignore it!

AVIOR:

Also in my top picks!!! I was a tad gutted when we didn’t get his. Saw a lot of posts begging for people to vote for it because yk him n starlight have been in literal Hell for years and therefore they deserve some smut time. Super cute vid, “A Romantic Night” is totally the right descriptor for it and also AYO WHIMPERY AVIOR??? YES. sorry ahem it’s the demons.

GAVIN:

It was so good. The premise of getting a more subby gavin? chef’s kiss, more please. everything about it was good and i WISH the ba had been how i expected it to go, but we aren’t here for my criticisms of That, so whatever. It links back to an old non-canon Huxley preview vid that was taken from us (RIP) when the channel lost loads of vids, or at least thats what it reminded me of, with the whole BBQ-and-somewhat-sexual-teasing aspect it was amazing and i would like to see more switch-esque gav in the future (*manifesting*)

LASKO:

Not too much to say considering I started this post as a way to lightly complain about the poll results, and Lasky wasn’t on the poll, obviously. Regardless, I’m glad this video went the way it did, I think we’ve seen a lot of lasko being quick to jump the proverbial gun in the last few years, with his non-canon vids, and hooking up with gavin, etc, so it was nice to see him break away from that and ask to move slower coz hell yeah dude, progress and growth!! and i think it shows how much he wants the relationship to be more natural, and not racing ahead, even if he does in part want that - it was sweet as hell.

ELLIOTT (ft. The Dragon):

I gotta say it right off the bat that i just found the video on the more boring end. *POLICE SIRENS BLARING IN THE BACKGROUND* AH FUCK-

I’m just not overly surprised that i think Eli got some of the lowest results on the poll, I enjoyed the video, and i liked it (this will be a recurring statement) but i just didn’t like it As Much. Lots of people (including me, ngl) wanted more of the dragon - but erik’s not about to do weird fantasy not-fully-bestiality-esque stuff guys - and i’m pretty sure I only liked it coz cmon it’s erik doing another hot voice, im gonna be down horrendous BUT NOT FOR AN ACTUAL DRAGON. i am Not donkey from Shrek. And yeah, i know Eli’s powers can be kinda limiting with what they can bring to the (pun not intended) sex-table, but does all of his spicy stuff have to be in a Dreamscape? idk.

ASHER:

My Second Favourite Hands Down. How people picked Sam over riding Ash in the front seat of a rental, i’ll never understand /lh the horn may make me jump every time, but it’s okay, there’s repentance in the tongue kissing, and i stand by that, it was the best bit (or one of the best bits), No Criticisms (except Ash please don’t have sex in a RENTAL. wait until you get to a bedroom at least PLEASE-)

GUY:

Again, i liked it but not as much. I love Guy, he’s one of my favourites, i can’t really say why i didn’t like this video as much as I normally would, maybe the concept just wasn’t rolling with me as well - the whole idea of post-concert seemed vaguely random, but you could argue that about all of these, so it doesn’t count. did anyone else see this or was it just me, coz if it is then i will quietly wave my flag of solidarity from my hole in the ground where nobody can see it.

ANTON:

I voted Anton. It was the sadness with the feelings and the horniness spicyness towards the end, ugh I loved it, Anton come home from war soon please (im terrified he might die because despite everything, nothing Death Related had happened in project meridian yet, and let’s face it, it’s gonna.) - it was nice seeing a different but also soothing take on the “your lover is leaving for an indefinite amount of time” thing, and how it changed in comparison to James’ video on it. Anton deserved the continuation okay. No aggression though.

SAM:

This is where I might get more argumentative because I was so disappointed that Sam won the poll, even though I love sammy. It seemed slightly out of character?? with everything we know about Sam, it just seems so unlikely that he would go to a club, let alone start getting, uh, “busy” n shit while at one. he’s not a big fan of PDA because of his past, in my opinion, and i think overall he’s very private, so the setting and stuff just seemed out of place, it would’ve made more sense for Milo’s or smth to be set there - but hell I can’t tell erik how to write his own characters lmao - and still, the ba was Great. with a capital G.

MILO:

I fell asleep listening to this the first couple of times, which says a lot already. The sensual massage trope has been used as a gateway to presumably spicy off-screen things before (Aaron’s HBW ‘21, Asher’s HBS ‘22) but idky it wasn’t hitting as well as it normally does, maybe it’s wearing thin on my brain. ofc it’s redacted content so i’m gonna eat it up like it’s ass (crude but true) but i listened to it through without falling asleep and was like “yeah it’s good, i like it, but also eh,,,” - like i mentioned, it would’ve made more sense to me if Milo’s and Sam’s were swapped around - anyone agree?

CONCLUSION:

as always, all the videos were really good, and despite whatever came across through this post, overall, i enjoyed all of them, so please don’t take this as a criticism towards erik or any of his work, trust me, i absolutely adore it - i say it every time, but every time it’s worth saying, and also please don’t cancel me. this was a really long post, so a lot of people probably won’t read it, so if you made it this far; well done! have a star 🌟- don’t be afraid to leave any agreements or disagreements in the notes, i love discussing stuff with people! thanks for reading

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #hot boi summer #jed’s food for thought #i can’t tag all the characters okay please it’s too many

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dil-ibaadat · 2 years

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Do you still like Kanthony or more specifically Kate? I was scrolling down your Twitter and I saw you recommend an Edwina fic. I started reading and I’m halfway through it and it kinda pains me to see some fic authors or people from the fandom love this fic. It’s well written but it also makes Kate a villain and rewrites season two to fit the narrative of Edwina being a puppet in Kate’s hand. Of course i’m not saying what you should enjoy or read but I’m just wondering if that fic mirrors your opinion of Kate. I really hope I don’t seem rude with this ask, it’s not my intention and if so I apologize.

hey! going through my asks top-down because it’s easier.

yes, i adore kate. she’s my #1, my ride-or-die, my unabashed favorite. i have a hard time getting investing in stories where she’s not at least a peripheral presence.

because i love kate and i love flawed characters, i enjoy seeing her make mistakes and other characters viewing her in a critical light. it makes her human and it makes her all the more appealing to me.

the edwina fic, for me, is one of the best fics in this fandom. i find the author’s portrayal of both edwina and kate (even in her more limited presence) to be compassionate and forgiving. a hard truth we have to swallow is that kate fucked up!! not as much as anthony did (that man was a single-handed catalyst for the mess of season 2 and he got off essentially scot-free; the audacity of men indeed). but she did fuck up by not telling edwina about her feelings and almost letting edwina marry a man who didn’t love her (and what’s worse, loved her sister). kate had her reasons and they were very sympathetic, but that doesn’t erase that hurt. and then, after s2, edwina had to attend kate’s wedding to the man she almost married, and have her entire future basically dependent on being in the good graces of that very same man (who is now her brother-in-law).

that shit’s tough. edwina’s allowed to not have the most gracious feelings towards kate. in fact, that push-pull between love and hurt/hate/heartbreak/devastation was what made their relationship so good. kate was a good sister. an overbearing one, but a good one. and now, she barely knows anything about edwina and edwina barely knows anything about her. it’s so heartbreaking. i mean, they were family!!! the angst, the hurt, the love that continues to survive despite it all. this author did such a great, great job with edwina and kate’s relationship and edwina’s character development.

and she also got me thinking: how could kate accept anthony’s love at the end of s2 if the fractured relationship with her sister was the consequence? how would she get over that roadblock? how would anthony feel for being the cause of this broken relationship? the possibilities there for an angsty post-s2 kanthony fic are ENDLESS. the situation is so good, so painful. the writer in me was endlessly inspired by the beautiful, haunting world this author created.

as to your point about edwina being a ‘puppet’ in kate’s hands, well.... it’s an AU fic. some things were different, some remained the same. also, we have to understand... it’s edwina’s POV. the way she sees things were obviously very different from how kate or anthony (or the viewer) saw them. it doesn’t matter if her perspective is right or wrong, because the story’s about edwina and her journey to healing! it’s not so important to me because i think the friction in kate and edwina’s relationship was realistic and extremely well-done. i enjoyed the hell out of it.

and edwina and freddie were so cute!!!! i’m now also shipping them like nobody’s business, which is great.

tl;dr: it was a fabulous fic, the author is enormously talented, and i can still love and adore kate even if she’s not portrayed in the most flattering light in the stories that i read. good writing is good writing, and that author, to me, was one of the most talented voices i’ve encountered in this fandom thus far. we’re privileged to have her :)

#ask on tumblr #fanfiction #writing #bridgerton #kate sharma #anon

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ndostairlyrium · 1 year

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10 things about me 🍰

Tagged by @greypetrel @shivunin @idolsgf and @demandthedoodles 💛 thanks guys for the free therapy session! ;u;

1 - Sometimes I feel like I don't have a personality, just coping mechanisms and a whole lot of reactions caused by anxiety, which is one of the reasons why I started therapy. Apparently I need to just sit down and ask myself "what do you need now / in general?" and it's helping me finding out who is the person I'm wearing << she's kind of an idiot but I'm starting to like her the more I connect to her.

2 - Huge cat person. They're the most communicative beings on earth, they have social cues and a plethora of personalities. Did you know they evolved to mimick the cry of human babies to attract our attention? They have a special "meow", basically. When they do that, we immediately turn our attention to them because our preservation instincts kick in and we're forced to respond. I just love cats so much omg 💛

3 - I can't remember shit, really. It's either a problem or a funny thing because my memory is very selective for no reason lol I know that you hate peas but I can't remember if you needed a lift to the airport or a pack of crackers when we talked yesterday. But when something negative happens... ooohboi! I'll somatize that for years and would remember every single detail, even the color of the sky in that specific moment.

4 - Never tell me that The Divine Comedy is a fanfiction. That's a major turn off. It's one of those things I take very seriously, tbh <<

5 - I don't vibe with horses lol I befriended a horsie called Carrot when I was 7 and horse riding was one of my favorite things ever, until the guy made me fly to the ground because something scared him :' I don't really blame him, but it was a painful experience - hopefully for me only. I tried to connect with other horsies later on but it never worked out.

6 - I horribly love chocolate based desserts. Big faves are sachertorte (of course lol), tiramisù, millefoglie (it's a layered cake with custard/chocolate ganache and puff pastry), and everything that comes with chocolate ganache. Carnival fritters give me so much joy too! Last time I had those I almost wept because they were so good lmao

7 - I really enjoy weird Medieval guys, the miniature style critters you could find on tomes. I'm fairly obsessed with them because they're so stylistically elegant but so dumb to look at 💛 A new addiction I found out I have is looking for creepy looking baby jesuses on Medieval and Renaissance paintings whenever I visit an exposition.

I mean... Doesn't he make you laugh? He's glorious!! A Unit™

Also HIM! The lovechild of Billy Crystal and Tim Curry 💛 yes I have more, yes I will post my collection somewhere <<

8 - I never had bubble tea, but I will - once I gather enough confidence to try this cute Japanese bar that opened around here << they have like 50 different options and options make me feel like I'm in front of an audience ready to hit me with rotten fruits. Hopefully it's worth it? Lol

9 - My body refuses liquorice. I thought I was allergic but you can't be allergic to liquorice apparently. But like, hear me out, whenever I ate it, I got the most horrific allergic reactions, no kidding! Even its smell, or a smell close to that makes me wanna run as distant as I can because my skin reacts to it o-o

10 - I did write more than 5 long fics (not counting one shots) in a span of 10 years, which they say it's impressive, considering the amount of chapters and the multiple revisions I always do. I tend to be overly critical when it comes to my writings, so I tend to avoid rereading what I do, except for my second mass effect fic about the Lazarus project, "In A Moment", which I'm very proud of. It's a "what if Shepard asked herself how she came back and if she really came back before the events of me3? And what would her reaction be if she found out reapers' tech was involved in her comeback?" kind of fic. Spoiler: she didn't take it well. I couldn't find anything like that in the mass effect section of the site I publish my stuff in, so I wrote it myself lol it's in my native language tho .-. Hopefully one day I'll find an editor and a translator to cover in money

No I'm not dense, it's just an impression << whoops! Sorry!

And since even my grandma got tagged in this, I'm tagging automatically whoever feels like doing it lol

#long post #10 things about me #tag meme #not dragon age #when things get too personal talk about cakes! and silly looking baby jesuseses

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pyroweasel · 1 year

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🤡🎢✨⛔💖💌❌👀🤲

🤡 (What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?)

I'll share this WIP line that will probably never see the light of day. You kind of need to know to appreciate it, maybe, but it still kind of makes me laugh. **"Don't fucking touch me - filthy little - do you ever bathe?”

"I try not to," Peep chirps, and then with a fresh grin they reach both hands out in Hazel's direction - making grabbing motions as if threatening to touch his face."** 🎢 (Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?) Had To Be You, hands down. Mostly because it would so wildly fluctuate from 'this part is so easy let me publish four chapters in a row' to 'I've taken two months to finish this chapter and I still hate it.' It was a good time over all but boy was it a ride to get through. ✨ (Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉) I already did one do I have to do another...(jkjk) I think my long/run-on sentences are pretty well-crafted and tend to add exactly the sort of punch/affect I'm trying to manage. ⛔ (Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?) Oh I have so many of these. I wouldn't even try to list them, but I'll highlight one of my personal favorites. I once had a fic planned that was essentially Addison being assigned Captain on this massive ship who's sole purpose was to transport "precious cargo." Spoiler alert, the cargo was an imprisoned Trep. It was very saucy, very much meant to highlight Trep's abilities as an Imp and was not necessarily destined for a good ending. It would have been fun, I think.

💖 (What made you start writing?) I couldn't tell you, honestly. I've been writing since I was a kid, since before I even remember doing it. We still have one of the first 'books' I ever wrote. What I can say is it's just...everything to me. It's a distraction. It's soothing. It's a way for me to connect with my partner and my friends. When I'm really sad, or really happy, or hell I'll say it even horny, writing is there, you know? I can do anything I want in there. I can write anything I want. I can bring these characters that mean everything to me to life in my own words. I can put them through hell, or get them comfort, or find them love. I can explore the world's brightest themes, and its darkest. I don't know. It's how I get all the things inside out. I don't really have any other creative pursuits that I feel like I'm good enough at to do that, so writing is the way. 💌 (How do you feel about comments and feedback?) I love comments. I love to know what I did right, what resonated, what people are thinking about what could happen next. I also love expressions of joy/enjoyment like keysmashes and such. I'm sensitive to criticism though, even well-meaning criticism, which is purely a me issue but can make getting feedback/comments kind of stressful sometimes. Especially when I'm nervous about a write to begin with.

❌ (What's a trope you will never write?) Never is a strong word because there have been times I've dabbled in things I thought I'd never dabble in. And I honestly can't think of any specific one right now that makes me thing 'ew no never.' I don't enjoy most things centering around pregnancy, though. Little cute moments with pregnant characters is one thing, but I don't like to focus on it much. 👀 (Tell me about an up and coming wip please!)

I have so many WIPs....a few fan favorites in the works are more chapters for the reincarnation AU for Hazing, Fable finally gets to meet Keet's pets, that one chapter for To The Left where these two finally get down, and a scattering of other hazing stuff. 🤲 (Would you please share a snippet of a wip?)

Okay...let me dig one up here. **Home, he thinks - spitting the word in his mind even as his feet turn in its direction. A tiny townhouse he doesn't know the first thing about fixing. A ratty bed, a shitty TV, a computer that barely connects most of the time. The self-inflicted bare minimum because it has never really been his home - only a place for his pets. A place to land when he wanted to rest because where the hell else was he supposed to go?

It's not his home, he thinks - bitter, angry, aching.

It's not his home, he thinks - paused outside, glaring up at the shingles and the brick. Humans pass around him - souls whispering at a distance, arching briefly in his direction until they're far enough away to snap free. Busy, loud, and something stings at his eyes.

"Keet?"

He starts, turns, and there's Fable. This silly little human who resists his pull but somehow keeps finding him anyway. Who'd held him at his worst, and called themself his friend, and who's here now, again. Standing near his apartment, watching him with a turned head and a curious stare.

"Are you alright?"

Keet opens his mouth to answer - closes it again - and then finally, after a second, he says instead,

"What are you doing here?"**

#ask game #5amanthus

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almalvo · 1 year

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STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E7 "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

man the intro just continues to remind me fucking ingenius the Star Trek introduction was period. Love it. forever. and always. wonder when we will see these scenes play out when we will see that big plant tentacle monster from the intro or when we will see the two hands touch etc

things are flowing so fast rn in burnham's evaluative speech at the start of this episode. even though not much has happened. and no offence but, i do not think shes earned this kind of audience? because theres like. still hardly much to like nor connect with these characters? imo. idk. idk if its just me, maybe it is. but i definitely dont really have much investment in any characters yet. actually, the one character i resonated MOST with was mega-sized space waterbear, no cap. (oh mossie i miss you i hope we can see you again) trek party lol. ok ill say this one thing DISCO has a lot of filming inconsistencies between shots. like, lets say burnham's hands will be up holding her face. but then next shot, her hands are down at her seat. then switch back and her hands are back up. that sort of thing. happens a lot all the time. stamets. happy drunk. lovey dovey. cute. ash and burnham? idk. every time lorca says saru, i just catch myself thinkning "sulu" cute mega-organisms gormagander wow. space whale sounds. amazing. is it prego. … who ANDORIAN?/ IS THAT AN ANDORIAN OML ITS HELMET SO CUTE oh nevermind its scarier. MUDD. but yes that is an andorian helmet wow so cute give me one. stella.

MUDD is so vengeful. what interesting implications for TOS. DUDE WTF the end of DISCO. man a time plot huh ok lets see how this goes a remix of stayin' alive runners said left. let me guess. burnham will later predict them coming from behind her. and then be like "huh. why did i already know this" there is something off about the delivery of these lines from so many of the actors lorca's actor feels pretty grounded same as saru which is good. something feels so weird with the line delivery. idk if it sthe actors or if its the way the filming is that just makes it feel less effective acting?? idk i think its cuz theres a lot of organic quality missing in a lot of the actors getting a decent amount of screentime? i dont want to sound rude ofc i just feel something is off yeah. man. a time jumping Mudd. now THAT'S terrifying. Poor stewart. he didnt deserve to get thrown. "went his own way"? u sure you didnt kill him. Mudd's actor is also pretty grounded. the lines roll off well and not awkwardly. Nice Stamets. this is too fast. Muidd gets shot in the back and then Stamets has a comedic line delivery that seriously needed a pause or soemthing, but we switch imediately to ending the scene and returning after what felt like a commercial break or seomthing.

yeah the pacing of the show is just RUSHING so much like WHY. it just eats up so much of any weight this show couldve had in even its smallest things. i know i sound so critical but its built up a lot and its already the 7th episode into the 1st season. Stamets actor feels pretty good too but i think its just awkward screenplay and awkward lines and weirdo af pacing/film style that ruin things. they need to let this show BREATHE more. it s such a shame they didnt. maybe not the best director. also too many zooms. the show feels so experimental, but i dont know if necessarily in a good way. i sound so pickky but bro im saying what im seeing,. ok sorry this just now, stamets talking to burnham when he says hes the one "missing from mudd's timeloop" is actually pretty bad. bad editing super inconsistent between shots and why are there like a billion camera cuts? we dont need THIS many angles to talk about one single conversational exchange no offence. this scene was pretty bad. weird screenplay, weird delivery, bad editing stamets even sounded like there was a shot with his mic off i could hear the environmental reverb why is this happening. with such a beautiful visual and constume budget such as this. also yes. that is A GORN IN LORCA'S OFFICE. oh my god that means maybe the gorn from SNW DO look humanoid fully matured. ugh cant wait to see what that means. mudd is so merciless. man lorca died like a bug so many times. wtf. why is stamets out of focus- WHAT. WHAT IS THAT. THE FUCK WAS THAT im sorry no this wasnt funny cuz it was supposed to be funny in that way im sorry but just now

when stamets tells burnham that "shes never been in love" at the party in the time loop, she says in the WEIRDEST most… sry ngl, badly acted type way, replying "why would you say that to me" that i had to actually PAUSE the episode and rewatch that again to confirm what i saw. just finished the rewatch of this one scene. wtf was that. sorry that was so poor. its soooo awkwarddddd. and flatttt. what is this ADR though. stamet's ADR in this episode is some of the worse. also sorry that lens reflection of that one green party light that hit right onto burnham's face during this exchange, its almost as if i HEARD the cameraman's thoughts going "ah shit this stupid light" as the camera moved downward to get as much of that green spot out of the direct line of her face. okay, Mr. God-Named-Stamets. is that an apron that isnt a one sided dress. dance in the hallway. ok. this wa so fast. this tone feels very not in sync with the course of this plot? where did this dance thing come from. i think im feeling such a dissonance rn when stamets is on screen because he feels like hes NOT stamets. idk its like, i get that charcters/people are hopefully more than 1-dimensional, and that we get to learn about them more as time passes, but like this kind of feels like stamets just wasnt properly developed and we the audience just didnt get enough proper exposure to him to recognise who really is his person? if that makes ANY sense to anyone. ok no offence, this episode probably is the most trash in terms of script. harry mudd, time loop, saving the ship from destruction, but then also stamets is an omniscient constant, while also flat cardboard af awkward love revelations between ash and burnham?? idk. maybe in a different writers' room, this coiuld be made compellingly and cohesively. but right now. this episode is NOT. IT. im sorry so why does it feel like its deterioriating a bit. the show had me in the beginning cuz how freaking DIFFERENT and UPGRADED it looked (gorgeous btw) compared to ALL the series that came before it in Prime-Timeline. but no matter how i fought it, my emersions been finally broken by the consistently questionable factors that keep loudly making themselves known in this show. too frequently bad deliveries from actors weird af editing bad cinematography even my great efforts to ignore it all and benefit of the doubt, it was too much. which is, based on everything ive ever watched ever, a BAD thing. also, oml lorca is so small in this episode - which actually i like. he feels so insignificant in this episode haha, small fry dying every single time. also i hope i see more creative deaths in this show, cuz everytime someone dies is them dissipating in dusty colour. come onnn, we can do better than thattt.

also just fyi, understand that i am NOT advocating for a super "serious/dire" star trek, weve had a bit of that in random episodes thoruhgout the franchise and moveis too - so no, i also absolutely love silly mad crazy trek plots too, but like. DISCO i think is probably handling this in a way that is the worst ever in Star Trek so far, even among its whacky insane moments. I am keeping to the series and going to stick it through all the way to the end of course. but yeah, i was never here to just be some blind non-insightful talking head that just admired this show unconditionally. if you thought so, then you should try again. i will say whats good, but likewise whats bad. and right now, the good things are things that i have already said, but the bad is really kicking up a storm right now. captain mudd. amazing. its so off-balance, this show. some deliveries are great, pacing is great. but then its like so sporadic and everywhere too often etc yes. delivery is REALLY weird and super weak in too many scenes. idk. maybe construction of the show itself is just weak in too many areas. so so strange. with a show that LOOKS genuinely this good. im just so perplexed. the shows construction feels so amateurish i guess? in not a very good way. "nobody beats Mudd, huh." a businessman is correct, lorca. these camera zoomes are really distasteful. like lorca over here making some consistently really solid deliveries, and the stupid camera cuts and zooms and unnecessary movements just cheapen it all. it makes me so angry. this show needed a better writers' room and better directing. and terrible ADR. its liek they use different mics every 2 lines. i can HEAR the discrepancies, even without my audiophile headphones.

im so mad and sad by this. because the threads of the issues i was sensing since episode 1 are now kind of unforgiveable. i can no longer look over them. so im here really speaking about them in this reaction this time. no offence it kind of feels like nothing much happened this whole episode. and im literally 3 minutes away from finishing this episode. im sorry im not impressed with this ending in how mudd was caught. i feel like this show didnt know how to quite handle the crazy nature of Trek. Bad editing yeah. i keep consistently seeing how for example Mudd is talking, and the camera cuts to a different angle shot of the same line delivery that has to get repeated and edited in, but i can physically see Mudd's jaw still moving in speech despite his dialogue halting from the ADR of the other camera shot. THIS ^ stuff KEEPS happening. and it shouldnt. its super BASIC stuff relatively speaking. and there wasnt this much of an obvious degree of this problematic editing in even older series of trek. so strange. 'i hate how it lifted me out of immersion of this show, this list of issues. you know, id LOVE to see ANY scene of conversation withOUT the stupid slow-creep zoom. listen, i KNOW that this is very often used everywhere in media, but it doesnt mean "always'. in this case DISCO does it poorly. ok episode over. i am not convinced over ANYTHING that just happened. its a 44 minute long episode, but it felt brief as fuck. it didnt feel like it had much substance at all - and im NOT talking some kind of "moral message" shit - things do NOT have to have a real message to be good. and this episode was actually not. it felt so criminally underwhelming. like ok, stamets had augmentation that let him resist the time loop.... and? so what. so what about that. nothing significant happened except apparently blossoming love story between Ash and Burnham, which- Ash x Burnham?

bullshit.

bro that was terrible. and they got zero chemistry no sorry no. get outta here.

burnham had more chemistry with the fucking captain than ash. (i dont support either one dw.) ok. well. ima continue the trip ofc. but mmmmm stupid peripheral things are really not doing this show justice. i fear that DISCO is a show that couldve been great but just wasnt even good. bad writing, bad directing, bad editing, bad delivery - i am far from being sold than I was in episode 1. i gave the excuse of the first episode feeling so brisk because it was an exposition….. but the show quickly tired out my benefit-of-the-doubt with how i see that ep 1 wasnt so much a mere exposition, but that its kind of ACTUALLY what this show IS. i cant lie. im p nervous for this show. SNW was fucking good, so i just hope that this show improves to SNW's level where all these questionable issues resolve at some point, more or less.

guess i'll see.

#star trek #star trek discovery #discovery #DISCO #nutrek #thoughts #text #reaction #almalvo

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nothingneverforever · 1 year

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Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)

I’d delayed watching this long enough that by the time I did, I’d heard all the great things, read all the shining reviews so much so that I almost didn’t want to watch it any more given my random meaningless avoidance of all things “critically acclaimed”.

So when I finally did, I was expecting to just love everything - after all, you’re reading the thoughts of someone whose unbiased favourite rides at Universal Studios Singapore are the Shrek dragon and puss in boots ones, someone who has been planning a princess Fiona tattoo (a la her Shrek Forever After head of the ogre resistance self) for years, and someone who bought Mark Oliver Everett’s autobiography years ago after falling in love with Eels from the various Shrek soundtracks… I could really go on about the many deep and lasting ways in which the Shrek franchise has stayed with me. I knew that some of the most raved-about elements of The Last Wish would be lost on me, such as the novel graphics and genre-bending animation and other umm technical things that I don’t really know how to speak to or care much about, but still, I should have loved everything else about it by all accounts.

So it surprised me greatly that this was my very favourite scene of the movie, which also happened to be the very very last:

Where are we headed, anyways?

Off to find new adventures and to see some old friends.

Yea the only time I felt actually moved (ok there was one other scene, will share more shortly) was when the movie was linked back to the greater Shrek universe, where Far Far Away was referenced and depicted and suddenly I felt much fondness for the film I was watching (or rather had just finished watching) mostly only because I recalled the glorious, unique, colourful world it was a part of.

That’s sad, right? For a 95% (rotten tomatoes) movie?

I’m typing this on my phone right now which is not my preferred mode of reflection so I shall first briefly enumerate my sources of unhappiness, before hopefully elaborating further in the future -

1. Death’s voice acting seemed to diminish the fear factor which was a waste because I did enjoy how menacing his weapon-wielding actions were … like was it just me or was his voice not scary at all…

2. Given that Puss was willing to give up his life of yore for Kitty, I wish we got to see more of their relationship or at least understood it’s meaning to both of them a little better

3. I don’t know yet what explains this lacking, but why did I feel soooo much more for the goldilocks x three bears subplot than anything to do with Puss? Who, I need not remind, has always been a favourite? Like, he’s so damn cute but so meh in his very own movie? Why…

Okay that’s it for now hehe the only empathic piece de resistance I’d thought of was the far far away scene one and how I wanted to be cool and say that the split-second meaningless Easter egg moment was the best part of the experience for me… so cool and different right me 😎

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abandonedbun · 2 years

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Hey Edgar simps Bun made something, enjoy!

Edgar Valden NSFW headcanons

Content info:Edgar’s a switch, lingerie is mentioned, mentions of begging, not much except for Bun being a simp for Edgar, reader is gender neutral (at least they hope they made it gender neutral-)

Make sure to give Bun some feedback! They can take some criticism since they wanna improve! :)

Little note:Bun has so much more in mind.. they’ll definitely make more headcanons like this for Edgar （╹◡╹）

Switch

He can top and bottom! But he mainly prefers to be on top, he thinks it’s best if he takes control of this

But if he is on the bottom just know he’s either gonna be a big brat or he’s ordering you to do what pleases him

He loves you, he wouldn’t give himself to you if he didn’t, so he won’t let such intimacy be seen as something unpleasant

The two main ways he starts it is with…

French kissing and then kissing down to your neck, making sure it gets heated with the foreplay

Or he’d take your hand and guide you to the bed that’s covered with rose petals and has the scent of roses from a candle <3

When Edgar tops he goes at a slow pace at first, unless you urge him to go faster, he wouldn’t mind hearing you beg for more pleasure

He’s making sure to feel every part of you, to see and hear you nice and clearly

Though if you’re too loud.. he’d remind you to be a bit quiet so nobody can hear, and by ‘remind’ he’d most likely kiss you to muffle your noises

Unless he’s jealous that day, if he’s jealous he wants to make sure the person who got him all jealous knows that he’s the one pleasuring you, not them, him

LINGERIE! (I think this can apply to any gender?)

He’d pick out some lingerie for you, red lingerie of course

He’d bring it up with a flustered face about how he wants to see you in it for special nights

He’d make sure it’s made of soft fabric that isn’t irritating

He reallyyy likes seeing you in it, sure he’s taking it off in a few minutes but the moment is something he loves

Or maybe he loves it so much he’d fuck you in it, I mean.. he wouldn’t mind doing that to you

Bottom Edgar, we gotta get to when he’s bottoming

I’ll make two versions for bottom Edgar

Riding him, that’s how it would most likely go

Moving up and down nice and slow, seeing how red his face has gotten and how heavy his breathing is getting

Keep going at this pace if you wanna hear him tell you to go faster, he won’t beg but he will give a frustrated whine and move his hips up

Scold him for being so needy for more, it’ll just get him more flushed in the face and he might start begging for you to go faster

Next time when he tops he’s gonna be so much more teasing… be prepared…

Penetrating him! (Penetrating was the only word I know forgive me-)

Now it would take a while for him to let it happen, but when you both agree it’s amazing

Now make sure he’s fully prepared, stretch him out before you actually penetrate him

When he’s ready for it to go in put it in slowly and rub his hips gently <3

He’ll clench the bedsheets and let out a small breathy moan, when he’s fully adjusted he’ll tell you to start moving

Go slow and gentle with him at the start, then go a bit more fast and hard, not too much though!

Now in this… yeah the chances of him begging for you to go faster is a bit higher

Something he might say by yours truly

“Fuck.. s-s/o.. faster.. go f-faster already..”

He’ll try so hard to muffle his moans with the pillow, it’s honestly so cute seeing him get flustered

When you’re both tired from that make sure to check on your pillow prince! Get what he needs!

Get him water, a washcloth, and if he isn’t too tired start a bath for him!

And when you’ve been the bottom he’d make sure to take care as well, he can’t leave the one he sees as a work of art all dirty!

He’ll start a bath if you want (and probably bathe with you, he can be soft when he wants!) but if you’re both really tired he’ll wash you and himself with a washcloth and change into some new clothes, Edgar probably got them ready

#Edgar Valden #idv painter #Edgar Valden x Reader #idv painter x reader #Edgar Valden imagine #Idv painter imagine #Edgar Valden x Reader smut #idv painter x reader smut #Edgar Valden smut #idv painter smut #idv x reader #identity v #identity v x reader #idv #idv smut #identity v smut

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sukirichi · 4 years

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request: SWIMSUIT SHOPPING WITH JJK CHARACTERS — (yuuji, megumi, and gojo satoru ver!)

notes: i’ve reached a point in hell of no return, help 😩 anon knows exactly what she’s talking about and i’d be more than honoured to add on to this concept

warnings: nsfw content such as public sex, overstimulation, degradation, manhandling, oral sex (f and m receiving), road head, and slight cumplay (nsfw under the cut!) + this is unedited/not proofread,

(all minor characters are aged up)

masterlist ! requests are open

ITADORI YUUJI

he’s a pretty innocent boy

in a way that he’s not always dirty minded instead of him totally being...well, inexperienced

so when you ask him if he can come with you pick a swimsuit, he happily agrees

he loves going shopping with you and is extremely patient even if you take half an hour in just one shop

he’d happily carry your bags for you

seriously, this man is so low maintenance, he’s not going to ask for anything else or whine that you’re taking too long or that he’s hungry

he’s REALLY really patient and supportive of you

and even though he’s not an expert in women’s fashion, he’ll honestly give his opinions if he thinks a dress or shoe looks good on you or no

he might also remind you just how convenient your outfit would be on the event you plan to use it t

but this time, it’s a different case because you’re buying a swimsuit

now, yuuji’s seen you naked before so it’s nothing new to him anymore, but the moment he walks inside the swimsuit shop with all types of frilly bras and colorful pieces, he’ll immediately duck his head down in respect

he’s pretty fidgety the whole time

if you bring up a certain red polka dot bikini in front of your clothed body, tilting your head to the side innocently to ask, “how about this?”

yuuji’s brain will fry right then and there

he can imagine just how great you’d look in it, but he doesn’t want to be rude or too obvious so he’ll just nod and go,

“yeah, babe, that’d look great on you!”

he’s pretty silent the whole time, but really, all the blood’s rushed to his cock already

the whole drive back, yuuji is already so sensitive and clenching his jaw with his hands firmly gripping the steering wheel while you sit next to him, hiding your smirk

you almost want to laugh at how flustered he is, but he’s trying his best not to show it

but you’re not that bad, and so you ask him to pull over because the tent in his pants looks so uncomfortable and you doubt he’ll be patient enough to jack off in the bathroom when you both go back home

he’s confused at first, glancing over you with worry

“why, what’s wrong? did you want to go somewhere else?”

“no,” you laugh, pushing your hair back into a makeshift ponytail

and THAT has yuuji driving recklessly and swerving real fast and furious style because he knows what’s about to happen next

despite his eagerness, he’s still concerned about you, breathing heavily as you lean over your seats and start to unzip his pants

“a-are you sure about this? you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,”

poor baby is already shaking the moment your nails rake over his thigh, your breath just ghosting over his clothed erection which is already damp with pre-cum

this makes you hum in agreement because yes of course you’re sure

you had a feeling yuuji would be turned on with this little escapade anyway, but you didn’t think he’d be this needy already

now it’s time for you to relax your throat and prepare yourself because yuuji is THICK

safe to say, all your arrogance is gone the moment you choke on his length, his big hands helping you keep the hair away from your face

meanwhile, yuuji is messily thrusting his hips up to your mouth, enjoying the way you just feel so warm around him

“f-fuck, baby, feels so good. i can imagine you already in that flimsy material, you’d be so pe-perfect, fuuckk.”

your chest swells with pride, always having been weak when it comes to his praising

once he reaches his high and paints your face white, yuuji lazily pulls you closer to him to kiss you, moaning when he tastes himself on your lips

you only giggle at how romantic he is even when your hands are still stroking his softening cock, and yuuji shudders a bit at the gesture

because he’s been such a great and supportive boyfriend today, you swipe at the cum near your lips, which makes yuuji’s eyes darken when you collect it with the tip of your tongue

then, as innocently as you could bat your eyelashes at him, you grin,

“would you like to see me wear it tonight? just for you?”

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

PLEASE HELP THIS BOY

“gumi, can you come shopping with me tonight? there’s a pool party this weekend with my friends and i need a new swimsuit.”

he wants to say yes because duh

but he also wants to say no because he’d rather not walk around in public with a raging erection

and we all know megumi is big, like come on, he’s toji’s son

like yuuji, i don’t think megumi is that perverted either, but he’s still a teenage boy with raging hormones

he may have more control over himself than yuuji, but he knows his limits

a swimsuit is honestly so innocent — it’s not even half as tempting as when you surprised him with a white lingerie set (which resulted you two in not getting out of bed the whole weekend lmao) so he wonders why the hell he’s so nervous

eventually he convinces himself that going with your girlfriend while she shops for a swimsuit isn’t anything new and it’s just a “normal couple thing” so bedgrudingly, he sighs and agrees

which he immediately regrets the moment you head straight for the skirtinis

there’s so much to choose from, and his eyes widen at the absurdity of how there’s so many designs and patterns

i feel leki megumi is a cheapskate, so he’ll be more focused first on criticizing the price tags before looking at you

“25 dollars for this...thing?”

he’ll shake his head in disapproval, but then straighten up when he sees you frown

“i think it looks cute. don’t you like it?”

you push up a frilly pink skirtini, the shade a soft pastel one that just looks so innocent and cute on you

it doesn’t help that you’re gazing up at him under your lashes either, a small pout on those kissable lips

he admits it does look cute, even cuter because you’re the one wearing it, but he still doesn’t like the price lmao

or at least...not until he’s seen you wearing it

once you’ve both gotten home, megumi heads straight to the kitchen because he’s been so parched (he won’t tell you that he’s been subconsciously swallowing his saliva the whole time, showing him material by material until it all gets suspiciously thinner and more revealing)

he doesn’t like limiting you or telling you what to wear, either, so he just follows you like a lost puppy, careful to note stare too much at anything to not make anyone uncomfortable

but then he goes back to your shared room, just about ready to call it a day since you sure did take your sweet time, and he sees you strutting in your underwear in front of the mirror

megumi freezes at the door like a lagging npc LMAO

“...y/n?”

you smile, turning to him as if he hadn’t just caught you checking yourself out, which he doesn’t blame you for because you look absolutely stunning in it

the skirt just hides the supple flesh of your thighs, but really, he’s more stunned at how your ass looks so perky in that skintight material

megumi looks away, flushed, running a hand through his hair because he’s too much of a gentleman to outright say he finds you so sexy in fear it would sound weird

but you take his sudden aversion something else, and you wrap your arms around yourself a little consciously, voice turning small

“does it look bad on me?”

he immediately picks up on how small you’ve made yourself, his eyes snapping to yours

“no, you look amazing! why would you think that?”

you pout, “you suddenly looked away. it felt like you don’t really like it.”

at this point, megumi is such a blushing, stuttering mess, approaching you carefully with his words stll stumbling over one another

“that’s not true,” he sighs, rubbing his hands on your bare arms, finally letting himself loose and shamelessly staring at how your breasts are just right under him, waiting to be touched

the tension in the room begins to thicken, and you shiver when his hands trail down your hip before squeezing the flesh almost possessively

“beautiful,” he’d murmur almost absentmindedly, and by the time you’re practically melting in the heat of his gaze, megumi just goes ‘fuck it’ and straight out kisses you

he’s gentle though

he knows you felt insecure and so he wants to take his time with you, touching you in places he knows you liked, curling his fingers in just the right spot that has you seeing stars

he doesn’t do anything that would make your body shake, but it still feels good — a lot more like lovemaking

and it is

he wants you to know he loves you and that you’re the most beautiful being ever in his eyes

megumi will kiss you starting from your calves and up to your belly, where he hovers for a minute before changing his mind and diving back down to where you want him the most

small, kitten licks in your core that has you dripping in his tongue, your hands fisting his hair

megumi doesn’t stop telling you how pretty you look just like that, loosing yourself in the pleasure he’s giving you

he doesn’t neglect your breasts; one of his hands reaching up to softly pinch the beaded nipples which has you riding and humping his face even more

megumi buries his face in your heat in that moment, his nose bumping your clit every now and then, and you feel so beautiful with how he can’t seem to get enough of you

he knows this just by the way you clamp down on his tongue, sweet juices coating his lips and he drinks it all like a starved man

“cum for me, sweet girl,” he coaxes, his thumb pushing your lips open as he watches you come undone for him

“that’s right — fuck — you’re so gorgeous, so perfect, just mine.”

and just when you think he’s had enough, megumi only flips you until your core is right on top of his face, his large hands merciless as he pushes your hips forward and backward on his tongue

similar to before, you and megumi stay in bed all day long with him going round per round, never getting tired of making you feel good until you’re just laying spent on your bed, juices flowing out of your abused core

you push megumi away when his fingers slide in your inner thigh

but no he’s not quite done with you yet

“no,” he growls softly, pushing your hands away and pinning you under his weight. “i’m not stopping until you finally see yourself the way i see you. so divine, so ethereal.”

your body is something he’ll never get tired of worshipping

you’re hella tired

but hey who are you to complain

you only wish megumi hadn’t ruined your swimsuit with your cum, but after a promise that he’ll jsut get you another one, you lose yourself to another mind blowing orgasm

GOJO SATORU

let’s be real here

you know EXACTLY what you’re asking for the moment you dragged him into a swimsuit shop

you don’t even bother asking him if he wants to go anymore because gojo being gojo, he’ll be whiny about it, saying you could just surprise him the moment you get home

to which you roll your eyes and say, “this isn’t for you, gojo.”

hah, but anything that is yours is his, and your body is definitely his

gojo is nothing but bored

he wants to go home already and just fuck you already, and he’s getting on your nerves so you threaten that you’re not letting him touch you for a whole week if he doesn’t shut up and accompany you for once

it’s not that gojo is mean and unsupportive of you, he’s just so horny in that moment he can’t think straight

but he also really, really likes touching you so the big man just pouts and crosses his arms

sighing loudly and rather dramatically

it only takes a few seconds before gojo straightens up, peeking under his blindfold when you pick up a plain black bikini with the top knotted behind your neck

it’s not really your style though, so you’re about to move to another design when gojo whines

“wait, why not that one? it would look great on you.”

ofc you know i’ll look great on you, but it’s not your favorite, and it’s fun to tease gojo so you shrug nonchalantly, picking up a dark blue legsuit instead

gojo absolutely LOSES it

man takes off his blindfold just to glare at the material as if it offended him

“babe, what the fuck is that?”

“it’s a legsuit, perfect for scuba diving. plus, it protects my skin from the sun. i wouldn’t want a sunburn.”

the way gojo laughs is so cocky you consider choking him with the suit

“that’s what you have me for?” he points to himself incredulously, “i’ll put the sunblock all over your body babe, you don’t even have to worry about that.”

“please. i’d already be stripped down to my birthday suit before you even get to open the bottle,” you scoff, muttering under your breath, “damn fucking horny guy can’t keep his thing inside his pants.”

however, this doesn’t faze gojo

“and what’s so wrong with finding my girlfriend so sexy and hot i want to fuck her all the time?”

honestly what the hell were you thinking, assuming that you’d one-up gojo when this man would always be superior when it comes to being dirty LMAO he is just so shameless

but whatever, you ignore him, heading to the checkout with a self-assured smile

gojo trails behind you, his anger radiating off of him so strongly you can feel it

“y/n.”

“y/n, you can’t even swim. don’t fuck with me and say you’re buying that to ‘scuba dive.’”

“what, so i can’t learn now?”

“just buy the black bikini. it looks great on you.”

“i told you already, i’m not buying that and wearing it for you. i only dragged you here because i need someone to carry my bags.”

you know what happens to brats?

they get punished.

and that’s exactly what happens

gojo grabs your wrist rather roughly back to where you’ve left the black bikini, and not only does he shove it to your chest, commanding you to wear it, but he also shoves you in the nearest dressing cubicle

next thing you know, gojo has his palm over your mouth as he pounds into you from behind, absolutely railing you to the point tears are flowing down your cheeks

“look at you — not so bratty now, are we? you’re just a slut for my cock, aren’t you, sweet girl?”

gojo lifts one of your legs up in the crook of his arm, forcing you to look at the way your pussy greedily sucks him in in front of the mirror

you’re so wet that the squelching of your pussy, along with the slapping of skin, resonates in the cramped space

you reach behind gojo and move away from his hand, gasping breathily while your breasts bounce

“gojo, ah, shit — we might get caught.”

“do i look like i give a fuck, baby?”

no, he doesn’t. and he proves this by pushing you down by the back until your cheek is squished against the mirror, your ass pressed against his pubic bone

with the way gojo’s hips are angled and his long cock is hitting places only he can reach, you no longer care about people finding you in this position

your mouth is open, eyes rolling at the back of your head and drool even begins to slide from your lips

this makes gojo laugh, two of his fingers rubbing against where you two are connected to gather your wetness before shoving it into your mouth

“shut the fuck up, you slut.”

gojo’s large hands then comes up to grab and squeeze your hips roughly; you think he’ll leave bruises there or marks in the shape of fingers

he’s basically using you as his fucktoy now, paying no mind to how you’re crying from how he’s hitting in so deep and fast

your body just transcends into a different dimension

you’re fucked out, crying and begging for him to go slower

“gojo — baby — p-please, a little more gentle, ah, fuck.”

“what was that?” he teases, bending forwards to nip at your ear. the sudden shift in angles has the tip of his cock kissing your cervix, and you immediately clench around his cock.

gojo taps your lips when your eyes shut close from the exhaustion, barely able to comprehend anything else other than the familiar coil deep in your belly

“i couldn’t hear you, princess. speak louder.”

“slower, please,” you beg, placing your sweaty palms flat on the mirror in an attempt to hold onto something. “too much, satoru, t’much.”

poor you, his baby looks so tired and fucked out

with a sarcastic sigh, he kisses the pads of your shoulders, then bites the knot of your black bikini until the material falls to the ground

your breasts are now free from its confines, and his rough hands reach to fondle them

you expect him to grip it possessively like how he always does, but instead, he massages them with tender care, whispering sweet nothings in your ear

one of his hands reach over to where your hands are, looping it through your fingers while his thrust slows down

he forms a tantalizing pace of hitting deep before pulling out in a such slow, torturous fashion then slamming back in until he bottoms out in one thrust

it’s dirty, lewd, and still very much wrong — but it feels so right and it’s rare that gojo ever listens to you so you find it romantic

gojo isn’t the least bit apologetic when you’re both kicked out from the shop

because in the end, he won, and he holds your shopping bag with the cum-stained black bikini proudly all the way back to his car

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corgiplays · 2 years

Text

Listen people might be annoyed at me for not sticking to one Au but it's not my fault Ronance can literally work in everything in my life.

Horse Racing Au (fueled by my 5ish years of horse riding and me playing horse racing games recently)

Main things will be that instead of racing like jockeys and the Kentucky Derby it will be more cross country which is jumping

• Robin owns her own ranch and horses

• She used to work for Harrington Races as a trainer but left with Max and 5 of the horses she trained after wining a bet again Charles Harrington

• Charles made sure the reason behind Robin and Max's departure is kept under multiple different legal issues but there's a lot of speculation as to why his star jockey and trainer left

• Robin has been working with kids like Holly's age and Max's ages and takes in abused horses as well

• Along with the horses Robin keeps animals like sheep, goats, chickens and bison around the ranch

•Per the contract Robin and Max were forced to sign Robin can't train horses for derbies and Max can't ride in derbies

•Max lives with Robin on the ranch and while not blood related call each other sisters

•Nancy was a cross country rider but after an accident with her horse, Barbra and Henry Creel's horse at a competition which cost her best friend's life and Nancy a concussion, bruised ribs and a fractured shoulder

• Nancy was 16 when the accident happened and hasn't ridden a horse in 8 years

• She meets Robin when dropping off Holly at the ranch and wandering into the stables and hanging around a stall where a very clearly abused horse was in

• Safe to say that Robin and Nancy's first meeting didn't go well since Nancy accused Robin of abusing her horses, the two talk it over while Nancy watches as Max handles Holly's lesson

• In standard horse movie fashion the abused horse mirrors Nancy in the way that the horse lost its friend because of the pervious handler, the horse is distrustful, skittish, agressive and very much a loner (hint hint Nancy)

• Nancy starts coming to the ranch with Holly all the time and we meet more of the characters

• El (Eleanor Jane Hopper) who was a jockey that suffered a traumatic experience when her horse Eleven (I'm so god damn funny) broke its leg while racing bringing down the two of them, luckily the two where far enough ahead of the other racers that El didn't get trampled but her right leg was broken, she was dizzy and nauseous and suffered a mild concussion, Eleven had to be put down as the break was severe and El didn't want the horse to suffer (Brenner was found putting NSAIDs [controls pain in a horse] into his horses which is how Eleven was able to race with a sprained leg which broke under the stress and pressure)

• Will Byers was kidnapped at a young age by his abusive father, he doesn't talk much about his kidnapping and always hangs around his older brother who goes everywhere with him

• Lucas Sinclair is a lovestruck dressage rider who stables his horse at Robin's ranch, he's absolutely smitten by Max and El and loves just hanging out and watching the two (Max works with El over her fear and trauma and Lucas loves to just sit on the fence and give encouraging words, I couldn't not have added Elumax)

• Erica is a show jumper and like Lucas stables her horse at Robin's ranch, she loves to criticize the ranch but deep down loves the feel and look of it

• Slow burn romance between Robin and Nancy as Robin helps her get back into riding and then later back into show jumping filled with cute picnic dates, riding horse in the sunset and helping each other through their trauma

• Oh no it's thundering and storming, Nancy you can't go home in these conditions, oh its okay you can stay here for the night but I only have one bed- Robin probably at one point

Finale things is that it's definitely a more modern setting since women couldn't be jockeys back then and idk when they could since I'm too lazy to google it but hopefully you enjoy my whole obsession from these past few days <3

#ronance #elumax #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #max mayfield #el hopper #lucas sinclair #erica sinclair #i need a name for the ranch #and an au name #robin and nancy having cute dates #lucas pinning over max and el

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gillianthecat · 2 years

Text

Love In the Air episode 6

My thoughts as I watch: mostly snark, a little bit of critical analysis, a sprinkling of praise.

This episode we're back to what I think of as Dramatic Soundtrack Music. No more soothing classical.

All this tension in this scene with P' Chai, but I don't know what it means.

Here comes trouble- Same dudes from the bathroom? Ah yes.

Lots and lots of little boys posturing, its had to take any of them seriously.

They don't have to bring their own motorcycles? Why are you letting some rando asshole you don't trust borrow a motorcycle?

This seems like it must have been as expensive production - shutting down a highway in Bangkok?

I don't understand the point of this bad guy - he came out of nowhere and has no connection to any of the characters we know. Unless he's Sky's evil ex? and we're being set up for the 2nd half of the series?

When I say Love in the Air has no plot - it's not that nothing happens, it's that the stuff that happens doesn't seem to connect or build in a way that progresses or tells a coherent narrative. Which is fine! That can still make an enjoyable show, especially if you just like spending time with the characters. But its not a plot.

I'm not sure why LITA feels so disconnected and random to me. Figuring it out would require rewatching and more in depth analysis, and I frankly don't care that much about the show. But that's how it feels to me.

I don't know, its quite possible that it all builds and connects in a way that I'm just not seeing. I feel like my brain turns into a sieve when I watch this show.

Aww. Sweet Rain, trying to cheer up his boyfriend. Encourage Payu like Payu encouraged Rain. I like seeing this more assertive caretaking side of Rain. It makes them feel more like a real partnership, while still maintaining the submissive- dominant dynamic.

PayuRain is growing on me now that Payu doesn't have to act so aggressively dominant and they can just be cute together.

I'm with Rain here, I also don't understand why Payu has to race this two-bit bad guy. Especially not in a thunderstorm. Ego? "Honor?" Pshaw.

Aww. More assertively caretaking Rain. I love it! So does Payu, apparently, lol.

ooh, but maybe this race is Payu's turn for growth and a character are of his own. A girl can dream, lol.

Oh never mind, the race is the next day, and not in the rain. That's less of a terrible choice. But mostly I just find characters who do things for ego or honor boring, unless there's some interesting angst underlying their motivations.

Sorry, but I have never found motorcycle racing outfits sexy. Motorcycle riding. yes, but the outfits have always looked ridiculous to me. But I would much prefer they be protected than be aesthetically appealing.

Yeah, I really cannot find it in me to care about this race either.

Paya won! But I knew that since I'd already seen the gifs of them celebrating.

These boys do know how to kiss! And I love that Payu just abandons his opponent to go fuck his boyfriend. (In a glass walled room with everyone right outside. The sets on this show are so weird, lol.) That race was clearly a lot more invigorating for him than it was for me.

Oh wait, they just magically teleported somewhere with curtains. I appreciate a montage style sex sane, but this editing has tipped over the line into confusing. But also its really hot, so who cares.

Where even is Payu's mic to pick up that rustling as he takes off his shirt? There’s nowhere to hide it! (I know, this is Not what I should by focusing on now.)

Ok, well. That sex scene was hot. And more explicit than any in a BL I've watched yet. I appreciate the actors' bravery and commitment to making it work so well.

This morning domesticity and mutual teasing is very cute. And I enjoy seeing the contrast from their first breakfast together. (see: characters changing = a plot)

Ok, adding in a kidnapping with one 45 minute episode left. Where are we going with this? I remain skeptical.

wait what? Is this a flashback or a flash forward? Why is Rain fine and in his room? Oh, flashback. Very cute. Although I'm still unclear about when or if he already knows Payu at this point.

Final Thoughts

yep, I still have the same feelings about plot at the end of the episode that I did in the middle. I think the main culprit is that Puyu's character is so static - he has no arc of his own. And even Rain's arc is kind of at a dead end. He's still changing and growing, but its not enough to sustain momentum on its own. Stuff happens to them, and they even do stuff, but it doesn't really change either of them. And I think for me that's the fundamentals of a "plot"- watching characters change.

This all feels like someone's fantasy more than an actual story. But I'm not sure whose fantasy it is: Payu who gets to be perfect and have someone change to fit him? Or Rain, the awkward college kid who manages to land the perfect guy?

#love in the air #love in the air ep 6 #love in the air critical #love in the air the series #lita #kind of like liveblogging #gillianthecat reacts to bl #reaction by gillianthecat

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trash-gobby · 3 years

Note

hi! could you please write something for billy loomis about him comforting the reader (his girlfriend) when she loses a best friend or somebody close to her?? <3

Pairings: Billy Loomis X Fem!Reader

Characters: Billy Loomis, Reader, Readers BFF

A/N: These mini-fics tend to take the longest for me to write, so hopefully everything is stellar. I'm not as confident with my Billy Loomis characterization as other slashers and horror characters, but I tried my best to capture his essence. I did a little proofreading, but mostly I just powered through reading it after I felt inspired by some horror films I'd watched recently. Hopefully you all enjoy this and constructive criticism is always welcome!!!

⚠️Warnings!: Angst, shock, trauma, discussion of death, blood, descriptions of graphic violence, gore, alcohol/drinking

Word Count: 3K

RATING: PG 16+

B/F = your friend.

Time is relative. Or, at least that's what Einstein said. Was it Einstein? You suppose it doesn't really matter. We go through each day, we may stop to admire the view and bask in our achievements, but it all passes eventually. Your first birthday, learning to ride a bike, the triumph of finally completing a project you'd worked on, your first kiss. So many moments and they all pass in the blink of an eye.

When everything feels just as it should, and your surrounded by a constellation of friends, family, and loved ones. Suddenly your sent out of orbit. All the people or things you thought mattered before become grey, muddled, and uncanny. The only thing your mind can seem to hold onto is the last moment you saw them. How it seemed so obvious you would see them again. So obvious.

Time passes and you eat mechanically, tasting nothing and feeling less. Your friends and family reach out to you because they haven't heard anything in a while. You know they're worried about you, but can't seem to bring yourself to care. That's how you end up sitting on the violently cheery floral patterned couch in your parents house staring blankly at the TV. Your just saying with them for now, only because they insisted you shouldn't be alone. All you want to do though is fade away for a little while.

You decide it's better to go lie down in your childhood room, perhaps find some solace in the familiar, to distract yourself from this new turn your life has taken. As you make your way into the front hall, the sound of a loud knock at the front door breaks through the silence. Part of you wants to ignore it, pretend your not home, but a much stronger part inside you presses you forward. You grudgingly drag your feet to the door and open it.

Your met by the pair of dark concerned eyes and furrowed brow of Billy Loomis standing on your doorstep. One of his arms is resting on the frame as he leans. The first thing you notice is how uncomfortable he looks. Not like he doesn't want to be there, but like he's not sure what his next move was gonna be after you opened the door.

"It's been a while," he says with a nervous chuckle he tries to pass off as casual and swave. You'd always found it cute whenever he'd do that whole faining being chill to cover his nerves.

"I know you talked about needing space for a while, but I just needed to see you after I heard you hadn't returned your friends and your families calls. Then I heard your parents had gotten you to come back to their home and I was worried."

"Well, you can see me, I'm still breathing."

"Yeah... I can see that, but it doesn't mean that your okay though," you know he's pushing because he cares, but that only makes it hurt more.

"Billy, I know you mean well, but I have some stuff I need to do-" he cuts you off by raising a box into your field of vision. It smells intoxicatingly of warm sugar and cinnamon.

"I brought cinnamon rolls, your favourite," Billy shakes the box temptingly in front of you with one eyebrow raised, a smirk slowly forming on his face.

You roll your eyes before stepping to the side to let him pass while asking jokingly, "has anyone reminded you recently how much of a manipulative asshat you can be?"

"Only you have the guts to call me out on it," Billy laughs as he makes his way inside to your parents kitchen, where he places the box on the island counter. You trail him into the kitchen slowly, still only slightly dragging your feet still.

"I'm only partially letting you in because of the food, just so you know," You say as you both sit down opposite each other at he island.

"Really?" He sounds unconvinced.

"I knew that if you're willing to go across town to get those cinnamon rolls from the actually good bakery, you were not gonna give up on checking up on me."

"You know me to well," he smiles sweetly at you, trying to look slightly innocent unsuccessfully.

The air which is briefly filled with something close to normalcy is shattered as you once again start to slip back into that place in your mind where the thoughts and memories of that night come back in. Those memories of moments past, and someone who should be here and isn't. Billy seeing the shadow lowering over your demeanor, reaches across the table taking one of your hands in his own, while using the other to lightly caress your face while drawing your gaze to his.

"Stay with me Y/N." You wanted to, but once you begin to spiral down that dark path of "what-ifs" and "why-wasn't-it-me's," it is nearly impossible to recover.

"This really isn't a good time," are the only words that make it off your lips. They sound hollow and untrue when you hear them in your almost monotone voice.

"Your gonna have to talk to someone about what happened to them eventually," Billy says. Respond by looking him dead in the eye and saying nothing in a pointed silence.

"It's either gonna be me or your parents at some point, and you've mentioned how things like this aren't something they tend to understand." It was true that you and your parents didn't really talk about many of the issues which had cropped up in your life. From your fears of growing up and leaving, to the long spells of depression which took their toll on your mental health. It wasn't that you had a bad relationship with them, there were just some subjects you never felt you could approach them about. Death was a big one. It wasn't like they'd lost anyone, at least not a friend like yours, not in the way you lost them.

"It won't make them any less dead," you say.

"But it might help you get all those pent up feelings out of your system. If you hold it all in your only going to hurt yourself."

"What if I don't care? What if I want it to hurt?" your words sound broken coming out of your mouth, almost like your on the brink of crying, even though your eyes remain dry. You do feel an ache though, somewhere deep inside you.

"I wish I could feel anything at all."

Billy gives the hand he's holding a squeeze, before bringing it to his lips and brushing a kiss over your knuckles and says "Your probably still in shock, and I don't blame you. Anyone who's lost someone the way you have would be, but I think that makes it even more important you tell me about it."

So you do. You start at the beginning. You talk about that night. The night you lost your best friend, the night you lost a piece of yourself with them.

It was late that night, well after midnight on a cold Friday night. The air was crisp, sky full of dark clouds which the waning moon would occasionally poke through to greet us on our way back to my dorm. B/F and I were coming back from a college party I'd egged them into going to. They'd wanted to stay back at their home and study, but I'd insisted they take a break.

The night had been filled with beer kegs, shots that tasted more like battery acid than alcohol, dancing to terrible music and playing equally fun and awful games. I'd introduced B/F to my college friends who were taking the same major as me and it seemed like we were all having the time of our lives. Of course eventually we all got tired and it was time to head home. I was going to have B/F crash with me in my dorm room since we were both too drunk to drive, let alone walk straight.

At first we were walking with some of the people from the party, but eventually it turned into just the two of us making our way across campus, holding onto each other and staggering along. I can't remember what we talked about while we walked, but I know we were loud obnoxious and having the time of our lives. I remember feeling like I didn't want the night to end, I never wanted them to stop holding me.

We'd been having a great night, and had ducked between the library building and one of the science faculty buildings. It was a shortcut I'd insisted we take because I was getting tired from being on my feet all night dancing. The shoes I'd been wearing had started to give me blisters.

As we walked through this alleyway between the buildings, we were almost completely swallowed in shadow. We were still having too good a time to realize how vulnerable we were, two drunk college students bumbling through a isolated area alone.

My B/F mentioned something about needing to use the bathroom, and I don't remember how I reacted, but I do remember stumbling, falling to my knees. My friend and I laughed at this while I took a moment to adjust my footwear. In the meantime B/F walked ahead in the alley to the other end and turned the corner. They called back for me to hurry up, their voice echoing loudly off of the two buildings walls.

I tried haphazardly to raise to my feet, using one of the walls to steady myself, and started walking after my friend. As I listened to the sounds of my shoes smacking against pavement and echoing off the buildings back at me, this feeling came over. It was the kind of feeling that sent a chill through me, making me pick up the pace. At the mouth of the alley I looked out into the grassy quad that lay between the buildings and my dorm.

The quad had several benches laid out along paths leading to and from the dorm and other college campus buildings. There were also quite a few large oak and maple trees planted spread out over the grounds. I couldn't make out where my friend had gone exactly at first. They weren't calling out my name or making much noise at all, so I called out to them. I thought perhaps the reason they hadn't responded was because they'd run ahead of me. Though I was confused as to how they did so, considering how drunk they were at the time.

As I started walking toward the dorms over the grassy quad, my friends name died on my lips. I looked around into the surrounding area lit by the outdoor floor lamps. It felt like someones eyes were boring into me, but I suppose it could have just have been drunken paranoia. My brain thinking that a shadow behind a tree looked to much like a person, or a noise coming from the gap in between the library and science building was just something innocent, and not something or someone lurking in the dark.

CRUNCH.

I jump with a start having stepped heavily onto something in my paranoid stumble across the green. I crouched down to take a closer look, and saw that I'd stepped on someone's flip-phone, and upon further inspection, it appeared to be B/F's. This realization really sent panic shooting through me and suddenly I felt a lot more sober and alert than I did moments before.

I left the phone where I'd found it, and started frantically looking around me while rushing to the dorm. My vision felt shaky still from the alcohol, and all I could focus in on was the lights of the dorm front lobby. The only thing I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my throat.

I sprinted as fast as my legs would allow, but it still felt like I was yards away, stuck in a nightmare where no matter how fast I ran I was stuck in place. As I reached a cluster of trees right before the last bit of green in front of the dorm, my legs were caught on something and I fell to the ground. I caught my hand at an angle trying to stop from smacking my face into the earth, spraining my pinky pretty badly in the process. I yelped in pain as I took most of my body weight on that hand before scrambling onto my back holding it. I was so focused on the injury that I hadn't bothered checking my surroundings, didn't notice what had made me fall in the first place.

I looked up cradling my sprained hand and finally saw what had tripped me in the first place. It was my friend, lying there on their back. At first I thought they might have been passed out drunk on the ground, but as I moved closer something didn't seem right.

I shook them slightly saying their name softly at first, and when they didn't respond I said it again louder. That's when I really registered their face, and it hit me. There mouth was agape, eyes wide open staring into the infinite void of the night sky. Part of me didn't want to believe what was happening. I checked for a pulse, pulling the collar of their sweater away from their neck. Then I saw the marks on their neck, the angry red lines which left chafing and would eventually turn purple. Or would they not, because of how blood pools in the body after death? It was like someone had strangled them. No. Someone had strangled them, and that person might still be there.

I didn't want to leave them. I really didn't, as I thought I could still save my friend. But I had to get inside and call someone, anyone that could come and help us. I got to my feet, nearly sliding and falling on something wet in the grass, racing to the doors of the dorm and trying to open them. Of course it was locked as per security standards, and I cursed as I rifled through my pockets for the keycard we used to get in the dorms.

Something behind me was making a rustling sound, but I wasn't about to find out what that was, as I found the card and scanned it quickly before barreling inside. We kept a phone at the staff desk which was usually manned by one of the RA's during normal hours. I picked up the cordless landline and dialed 911, and the rest you already know.

I stayed on campus for a bit, until the university decided it would be safer if we went on winter break a little earlier, and I ended up staying in my apartment instead living in the memory of that night. The police interviewed me on the scene of course. One of them mentioned that they would need to bag my shoes, and I was confused until I looked down and noticed dark red staining seeping into the fabric of them. God, why was there blood.

They didn't give me the details until they interviewed me again in the station, which smelled of stale coffee and body odor. I learned that my friend wasn't only strangled, but had been stabbed multiple times in the back, in a form of overkill. I think they wanted to see my reaction, gage whether or not I had anything to do with it. However, they let me leave eventually without incident.

I don't know if I'll be able to go to the funeral, I haven't thought about it because I can't think about anything except my friends face. That blank expression looking into nothing, feeling even less.

You can feel it all welling up as you finish your story. That ache from earlier turning sharp and painful in your chest. Your eyes sting with tears welling up that you had yet to cry, ready to fall. You hadn't realized you'd started squeezing Billy's hand in a death grip.

"Sorry," you say, loosening your grip and trying to look away as your first tears begin to fall, and you choke out a sob.

Billy releases his grip on your hand entirely, and gets up from where he was sitting across from you at the island. He wordlessly walks around the counter to you and takes you in his arms, holding you tightly, running one of his hands over your hair in a soothing motion.

"God, I knew it was bad, but nothing like that. But that's over now. You've got through the worst of it," he says.

Your sobs become more violent and ugly, like a keening animal as the full impact of your recounting hits you. It hadn't been this bad the first couple hundred times you had to tell the police, but something about opening up to your boyfriend, someone who knows you intimately, breaks the dam inside you. He coaxes you out of the uncomfortable chair and walks you to the living room couch, letting you curl up in his lap in your state. Just clinging to him and crying seems to make you want to never stop. Get it all out and release this tension you've been holding for so many weeks after your friends death.

"Your safe here with me," he's brushing your hair again. He's so close you can smell him, the fresh smelling laundry detergent, hints of the cinnamon from the rolls and something lying under that which smells vaguely metallic. It eases your anxiety being this close, and your sobbing begins to subside to hick-coughing low crying.

"I'm getting your shirt all covered in snot," you let out a weak laugh as you peek at him with puffy red eyes.

"It wasn't that great a shirt anyway, you probably improved it," he chuckles.

"Thanks for staying with me."

"Always." Billy fixes you with a serious intense gaze. "No matter what happen, it's you and me."

You hug him closer and he kisses your head before slowly wiping your tears with his sleeve. You've never felt safer then when you are in his arms. You wish he'd never stop holding you. You wish this moment would never end.

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