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#i feel the art brimming through me again though
shoot-of-corruption · 2 months
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((Is it a bad thing that I have no muse, but I want to open commissions again?))
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kingofbodyrolls · 3 months
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BTS fic recs: June 2024
Hello, how are you doing? We are officially halfway through the year, Seokjin came home and in a few months Hobi too! I decided to change the graphics for the rec list to fit with my main design, I think this is cooler, anyway—Weee~ I managed to read a lot again this month! 👏 So this list is filled to the brim with amazing and wonderful stories! 
Some of the authors on this list is on hiatus, but please don’t let that stop you from reblogging or commentating on their story— because you don’t know when they might pop back in a see your lovely note, so please— if you like something, so some love to the author 🥰
I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹
❗Most of these fics are smutty or dark as hell, so minors dni.❗ 
If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their faces💜 Let’s share and give lots of love!
Looking for more to read? Check ‘The Library’ or last years recs 🙂
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[index] → jan | feb (jhs) | mar (myg) | apr | may | 💜 | jul | aug | sep (jjk)(knj) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (kth)(ksj) | Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, fantasy = 🪄.
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⭐Knock it Down a Peg @thatlongspringnight [3.3k]  // knj x f.reader // est. relationship // 🥰🥵😂
📝 thanks to an idea from Jungkook’s girlfriend, you and Namjoon decided to try something new in the bedroom.
🗨️ this was just so fucking funny 🤣 I really loved it! Like I was laughing the whole time— that’s how funny it was! A short, but very very funny read! ✨
⭐The Truth Untold @rmnamjoons [10.1k] // knj x f.reader // bf2l // 🥰🥵🌩️
📝 you’ve been trapped for months in a loveless, toxic relationship, too afraid of what would happen if you ever tried to leave. Your boyfriend gets so jealous, especially of your best friend Namjoon, who you’ve missed more than your heart can stand. Now, seeing Namjoon for the first time in weeks, you decide that it’s time to tell him everything, no matter the cost.
🗨️ ah what— this was both sad and very very sweet 😭 It’s sad, because it’s cheating— 😭 What she has with Namjoon is pure sweetness, and he is perfect for her 😭💜 I really loved it, though I have conflicted feelings about the cheating (I always have lol), but it was really good and I really liked it! It was so soft, beautiful and I love their relationship and she should just have picked Namjoon from the start!! Anyway, a really good story that will tear you up a bit 💯 Also, just seeing the banner had me in tears already, and looking at it again, I’m already crying 😭
⭐Park and Ride @here2bbtstrash [4.8k] // knj x f.reader // fuckbuddy!au // 🥵
📝 your fuckbuddy asks if the two of you can drive around a bit first, but he has a hard time keeping his hands to himself
🗨️ wow this was both cute and hot 🥵💯 There’s also a small drabble to it that can be found here: [link]
⭐Cream @luxekook [1.8k] // knj x f.reader // est. relationship, idol!au // 🥵
📝 you thirst over the outline in the pants of kim namjoon’s iconic cream suit just one time too many, and he’s ready to make you pay for it.
🗨️ Namjoon in that cream suit— what more do I need to say? 🥵 (also loved it, in case there was any confusing on that part ✨)
⭐Don’t Want Your Sympathy @sketchguk [9.5k] // knj x f.reader x jjk // est. relationship + threesome (kinda) // 🥵🥰🌩️😂
📝 jeongguk is like an annoying little brother to you, but nevertheless, there’s nothing in this world you wouldn’t do for your sweet, innocent best friend. so what are you supposed to do when he wants to watch your boyfriend fuck you senseless? say no?
🗨️ fuck. I’m going feral over this one 😭🥵 First, oc being best friends with Jungkook, so much so that she and Namjoon are willing to show him how to please a woman, please, I don’t know but that must be like the ultimate friendship goal? 🥹😂 I really loved it, and all the sexual teasing and banter was just so hilarious 😂
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⭐Off Limits [completed series] @floralseokjin [n/a] // ksj x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥵🌩️
📝 you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…
🗨️ I finally finished reading this amazing series! It was really good, and one of my favorites Seokjin stories 🥰 Towards the ending it good really good and I had a tough time putting it down, because I just had to read how things would fall apart to be build back up again 👏 There was also some small plot twists that I didn’t expect and they were a positive surprise 💜
⭐Stuck with You @taleasnewastime [29.6k] // ksj x f.reader // s2l, Christmas!au // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 it’s the first Christmas since your dad passed away. You, your mum and sister are going to his favourite place to do his favourite thing, skiing. And yet you’re not there. Stuck. Stranded. Trapped. In seemingly the single hottest place in the world. Your transfer flight cancelled so you’re now stuck between home and your family. A snowstorm that causes all flights to be cancelled, heat that just seems wrong at Christmas, your sister crying and shouting down the phone at you, and to top it off, the most annoying man in the world who’s in the same position as you and seems to think you’re friends because of that fact. Merry Christmas to you.
🗨️ this is truly one of my favorite plots and this fic is just so good, also a favorite, hands down!!! I just love me some good comfort, with angst, then comfort and a happy ending ✨
It was just so well done, the plot, and the characters too 🥹💯
⭐Satan, Baby @johobi [2.6k]  // ksj x f.reader // s2??? // 🥵👻🪄
📝 when the devil knocks, you’re only too happy to answer.
🗨️ I am speechless— it was such a nice, dark and smutty read! Really interesting ✨
⭐Redamancy @jeonggukingdom [7.1k] // ksj x f.reader // est. relationship, valentines day // 🥵🥰
📝 it’s St.Valentin’es Day and as per tradition, you are to surprise your boyfriend with a gift and a chocolate treat. On a whim, you decide to cook an entire dinner for him and bake him his favorite cake: chocolate filling and strawberry and cream toppings. Seokjin is bent down on showing you just how much he appreciated all your hard work for him. 
🗨️ gosh— so sweet, cute and sexy 🥵✨💯
⭐You Suck! @ugh-yoongi [18.3k] // ksj x f.reader // s2l, roommates, vampire!au // 🥵🥰😂🪄
📝 it’s St.Valentin’es Day and as per tradition, you are to surprise your boyfriend with a gift and a chocolate treat. On a whim, you decide to cook an entire dinner for him and bake him his favorite cake: chocolate filling and strawberry and cream toppings. Seokjin is bent down on showing you just how much he appreciated all your hard work for him. 
🗨️ WOW— so many thoughts on this; it was perfect, let me start with that. It was so fucking funny, I laughed so many times. I love Seokjin in this, how kind he is, funny, all that, and how he cares for oc, everything. The smut was so fucking funny, not gonna lie, I did not expect it AT ALL, but that shit had me rolling on the floor 🤣
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⭐MicroWave [completed series] @btsmakesmehappy [37k] // myg x f.reader // neighbor!au, s2l // 🥵🥰🌩️👻
📝 Yoongi can’t help to worry about his neighbor. Not only that she almost burned the apartment down, she also trusts people too much, and yet she doesn’t want people to help her. She is just trouble written in bold and capital and he shouldn’t be acquainted with her. But yet, he makes it his mission to help her with all costs.
🗨️ I’m still baffled that this series doesn’t have more notes than it has—- because it’s simply fucking amazing! There’s 5 chapters and I read them so fucking fast, I just had to know what was happening with oc. Good pace in the story 👌It’s a series that features in with 6 others (not all are written and the overall general story seems to be discontinued), and I haven’t read the others yet, but I’m sure they’re just as good as this one! ✨
⭐The Road Not Taken [series; ongoing] @prodagustd [n/a] // myg x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥰🌩️🥵
📝 if you wanted to stop thinking about Yoongi, the first step was as easy as stop seeing him, but why it seemed like he was following everywhere you went?
🗨️ the author just updated this after months and I’m so happy because I found it so interesting and this chapter was just updated is jam packed with essential backstory! If you haven’t read this one yet, I highly recommend it ✨
⭐Fractured @hamsterclaw [6.6k] // myg x f.reader // detective!au // 🌩️🥵👻
📝 Yoongi’s a murder detective fighting burnout when he’s assigned the case that you and your former partner fucked up.
🗨️ oh, I love a good detective and police au! This was so good, the plot was intriguing and captivating— I really loved it ✨
⭐STEAM [completed series] @hoseoksluna [n/a] // myg x f.reader x jjk // est. relationship // 🌩️🥵
📝 one video call awakens your neediness for two cocks.
🗨️ okay this is really hot— and I really mean it, it’s dirty and filthy with all the good stuff! Yoongi is a bit iffy in this, so is oc, lol. I’ve only read the first one as of posting this, but I intend to read the rest of the series because I really like both the writing and the plot in this, and I’m very interested to know what is up with Yoongi! ✨
⭐Cybersex @gimmethatagustd [14.6k] // myg x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥵🥵😂
📝 the whole point of being a phone sex hotline operator is that you’ll never have to meet your clients. So what are you supposed to do when you find out your favorite client is your brother’s best friend? 
🗨️ I always enjoy Jai’s work, and this is no different! Such a funny and smutty story. Had me laughing at so many moments, like literally giggling out loud like a fucking fool, and OC’s friendship with the roommate is just so precious 🥹 and how oc and Yoongi actually get together is just so freaking funny 🤭 I loved everything in it so freaking much 💖💯
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⭐Beleaguer @httpjeon [2.4k] // jhs x f.reader // neighbor!au, e2l, fuckboy!au // 🥵
📝 your neighbor is a pain in the ass.
🗨️ holy— DAMN! This was so fucking hot, so sinful and the dynamic between reader and Hobi??? How much they LOATHE each other 🤭👏 So freaking good! 💯
⭐Rather Be @hisunshiine [4.3k]  // jhs x f.reader // college!au, dancer!au // 🌩️
📝 you’re finally able to attend your dream school for ballet, where things are going well! You’re making new friends, have a chance to become a principal dancer in the winter show, and you’re growing closer to Hoseok. He’s a talented hip hop dancer, but still reeling after a tough break up, and doesn’t know if he’s ready to date again. Torn between you and his ex, Hoseok must decide where he’d rather be.
🗨️ this was just really cute 💜 Also to note, this has a named oc!
⭐Keeping a Secret @kpopfanfictrash [3.7k] // jhs x f.reader // est. relationship // 🥵
📝 you and Hoseok have been hooking up for a few weeks now. No one in your friend group knows. What happens then, when he shows up at movie night looking better than anticipated?
🗨️ aaaaaaahh~ So fucking cute and hot too, I really loved it 💜💯
⭐Liar, Liar @eoieopda [5k] // jhs x f.reader // fuckbuddy!au // 🥵
📝 Hoseok suspects that you’re “phoning it in” while sexting and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t call your bluff.
🗨️ okay. This was amazing and I really loved it 🥵💯✨ 
⭐Cheap Wine & Second Chances @minisugakoobies [8k] // jhs x f.reader // f2l + valentines day // 🥵🥰🌩️
📝 valentine’s Day has brought Hoseok, your best friend from college, back into your life. Is this your second chance to get the one that got away?
🗨️ oh this is so cute and sweet (and a tad bit sad) 🥹 I love this story, it’s just so cute– the one that got away, and they finally get their chance! So freaking cute and I loved every word of it ✨ 💯
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⭐As If It’s His Last @vinetae [4k]  // pjm x f.reader // fwb + f2l // 🥵
📝 it had been a simple agreement. You felt bad at how many times Jimin had a hectic schedule. And while you couldn’t do anything about that, you could offer some services out of pity for the boy..
🗨️ well this was just hot 🥵🥵🥵
⭐The Pitfalls of Silk: drabble @ctrlhope [1.7k] // pjm x f.reader // s2l, hybrid!au, soulmate!au // 🥰🥵😈🪄
📝 the winter gods are out to get you. That could be the only possible explanation for the series of bad luck tumbling before you— tropical vacation cancelled, snow locking you inside. Hell, even your shovel broken in half has got to be the gods playing some sort of trick on you. Pulling you along, making decisions for you as they guide you along the red string of fate. Guide you towards the very spider that found his way into your basement. Allowing him to fall into your heart all the same. 
🗨️ Lily just wrote a drabble for the one-shot I read last month!!! And the drabble was just so fucking cute 😭😭😭 If you haven’t read the original, please do that before you read the drabble, the story is really beautiful ✨
⭐The Group Project @noona-la-la-la [8k] // pjm x f.reader x kth // roommate!au + threesome // 🥵
📝 Jimin is jealous when his best friend and roommate, Taehyung, has a date with the girl Jimin has a crush on.
🗨️ fuck this was so GOOD!!! 💯 Best friend Tae 💜 It was so freaking hot and sinful, like????? Jimin watching them, and then Tae just being best friend ever at the end 🥵 Also, the dialogues were so fucking good! I really loved everything in this 😭
⭐Taste of You @divinelyparkjimin [5.2k]  // pjm x f.reader // childhood friends to lovers, roommates, fuckboy!au // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 getting yourself off to your childhood friend’s sexual escapades was definitely not on your radar, but seems like it should’ve been a long time ago.
🗨️ a really good read— though Jimin is a total dick in my book 😂 OC isn’t much better, but hey, they do get together in the end, and that is what matters! 💜
⭐Muscle Tension @bluemari23 [0.7k]  // pjm x f.reader // est. relationship // 🥰
📝 you feel a little stressed after a family visit and your husband helps relieve some tension.
🗨️ SFW— sweet fluffiness 🥰 Short and sweet, and I really loved it 💖
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⭐Fantasy @pantherxrogers [1.5k]  // kth x f.reader // marriage!au // 🥵
📝 you love a man in uniform. more specifically, you love the way your husband looks in a uniform. he attempts to come home and surprise you, but he's the one left in shock.
🗨️ HOTTTTT 🥵🥵🥵
⭐Shameless @peachypinkygloss [3.6k]  // kth x f.reader // est. relationship, university!au // 🥵
📝 your boyfriend is really kinky. He can never go against his sexual urges, even when you both are in a hot tub with his friends.
🗨️ ADFSFDGFD— Speechless over here 🥵
⭐Backstage @jeonqkooks [0.6k]  // kth x f.reader // est. relationship, band!au // 🥵
📝 intentionally left blank by the author!
🗨️ just hotness 🥵
⭐Good Girl @suga-kookiemonster [3.5k]  // kth x f.reader // office!au, co-workers to lovers // 🥵
📝 you don’t really know much about kim taehyung. what you do know is that he’s your handsome coworker and that, since you just accidentally sent him a nude, you’re good and royally fucked.
🗨️ funny and smutty! Also, what is it about office romance that just hits differently? 🥵
⭐Moonlight [ongoing series] @borathae [6.8k]  // kth x f.reader // est. relationship, vampire!au // 🥵
📝 Taehyung asks you to sneak out with him and you end up making passionate love to him in a hayloft.
🗨️ I love vampires and just from the description and I know the author is amazing at writing, I decided to read this, even though I haven’t read anything from the series at all. But fuck, it was so good! I’ll definitely be checking out the series, it’s a well established one, so there’s a lot to sink my teeth into 😜
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⭐Chasing Cars [ongoing series] @oddinary4bts [n/a] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, forbidden love!au, college!au, slice of life!au // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
🗨️ I’m on chapter 7 right now (there’s 8 out as of posting this) and it’s still so fucking good! I’m kinda mad at JK though, but it’s okay! I love when stories get me either mad, sad or frustrated at the characters, and Ella is so freaking good at that! ✨ Also, she has been making small drabbles for each chapter from JK’s pov and those are just extremely good too! 💜
⭐Dumbo @cinnaminsvga [17.2k] // jjk x f.reader // s2l // 🥵😂😂
📝 you know what they say about boys with big noses… {or alternatively: jungkook has a big dick but he doesn’t know how to use it, but luckily you’re there to help.}
🗨️ This was just so fucking hilarious I don’t even know where to begin 😂 I don’t know how many times the word ‘dick’ or its many different variations is used in this fic, but damn it a lot, and damn is it fun! 🤣 There’s so many dick jokes it should be criminal! It was so good though, the story was just too funny, almost absurd (lol), but dammit it’s a new favorite! 💯
⭐Fool for You [completed series] @btsgotjams27 [24.9k] // jjk x f.reader // college!au, fake dating, s2f2l // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 when Jungkook is finally single, you shoot your shot.
🗨️ This is a short series and it’s really good— it’s cute, has angst and a happy ending ✨
⭐Make it Right @jungkxook [11.5k] // jjk x f.reader // band!au, exes to lovers // 🥵🌩️
📝 you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too.
🗨️ gaaaaahhh, I’m crying 😭 This was so beautiful, bittersweet 😭 I loved it so much and their love, omg, so pure, so precious. His song for her, I’m just like 😭 (can you tell I’m a sobbing mess?) Definitely a new favorites and I loved the fact that, they both knew they were broken, waiting for each other, and even though broken, they will heal and take it slow 😭💯
⭐Coffee Stain @oddinary4bts [1.9k] // jjk x f.reader // grief!au // 🌩️🌩️🌩️
📝 you grief, and it's the expression of your everlasting love for Jungkook.
🗨️ Do you want to cry, but not able too? Go and read this! It’s so fucking sad, but so incredible beautiful and sweet, it will make you tear up in now time. As said before, Ella just have a way with words, and in this one, they sure do hurt a lot 😭 But I fucking love it ✨
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Welcome to this new section! This section features member x member stories— if you’re not into that, it’s okay, and you can just skip it. Otherwise enjoy 🥰
⭐Sunday Smut Book Club @gimmethatagustd [7.1k] // knj x myg // s2l // 🥵😂
📝 the cute librarian at Yoongi's local library hosts an adult-only book club. As a fanfiction smut writer himself, Yoongi is intrigued.
🗨️ this was just extremely funny and cute! 🥰 Also, I love that Yoongi writes fanfiction, and as I writer it was very relatable! It has a very ‘meta’/fourth wall feel too it 🤭 Which I fucking adore ✨
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Welcome to this small section— it won’t be here every month, only when I’ve written something new, I’ll add it here, just to promote myself a little bit 🫶
⭐Till We Meet Again [11.4k]  // jjk x f.reader // childhood f2l, mermaid!au, fantasy!au, magical!au // 🥵🥰😂🪄
📝 when your childhood friend that you had a crush on, moved away out of the blue— you never thought you’d see him again. A night swim in the ocean will have you feeling delusional, but the voice that fills your ears— sweet like cotton candy, you’d recognize that voice anywhere, it’s Jungkook.
⭐Friendcation: wedding special [12.2k]  // myg x f.reader // established relationship, mechanic!yoongi, roadtrip!au // 🥵🥰😂
📝 Yoongi has done everything in his power to make your wedding truly special, what he couldn’t plan for was the rain. But fret not, a bit of rain will not make your day less special when it’s surrounded by friends and family. And your wedding night? Well, being pushed down into the sheets by Yoongi is easily one of your favorite things.
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Thank you so much for reading my rec list, I hope you’ll reblog it to make it reach more people! There’s some insanely good reads on here ✨
I’m not sure I’ll get to read as much in July, because it’s summer holidays ☀️
If you want more, you’re more than welcome to follow me! I do monthly rec lists and sometimes I post my own writing too (only bangtan).  Love you and borahae 💜
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httpiastri · 7 months
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snowy mountains & hot baths – op81
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you, oscar, and an empty spa can only lead to one thing.
genre: very short smut 😶
pairing: oscar piastri x female reader
warnings: uhhh public sex.... unprotected sex, wrap it before you tap it yall!!
author's note: happy valentines day :) wish i had oscar here to celebrate with me... anyway. idk about this one guys 🫠🫠 started out alright but then i hated half of it so i deleted it and rewrote it but it just got worse. and i know that if i don't just post it rn, i will likely procrastinate and never end up posting it at all. yay. hope u enjoy anyway! i also have another oscar fic done that's at least a bit better than this lol.
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18+ content below, minors do not interact!
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
a low groan leaves oscar's lips when he dips his feet in the warm water. he instantly turns around, eyes finding you standing by the door you've just walked through to get to this outdoor area of the spa. he holds his hand out towards you, beckoning for you to step closer.
"it feels so good," he promises, gaze following your every move as you let your robe slide down your arms. his eyes widen when you reveal your newly bought bikini – papaya orange, of course – and a shudder passes through his body at the sight of the tiny material trying it's best to cover you up.
he thanks all the gods he can think of that there's no one else around.
goosebumps grow across your skin now that you're exposed to the sub-zero temperatures, toes curling in the short layer of snow on the deck. you stroll over to him, making sure to let your hips sway a little extra with every step because you know he's watching and you know what he's thinking. the sight of him gulping as his eyes wander up and down your body can only mean one thing.
taking his hand in yours, you let him pull you into the water with him, letting out a content sound when the water envelops your legs and brings the temperature of your body up again. oscar gives your hand a squeeze and leans back, his back hitting the water as he submerged into it. you dive in right after him, making a few strokes beneath the surface before coming up for air again. your hands come up to wipe away the water from your face, before brushing over your hair and tying it up in a messy bun on top of your head.
"this is just what i needed," your boyfriend says, drawing out an agreeing hum from you. it's been a long day – a long week, really – filled to the brim with skiing, hot chocolate drinking, skiing, cable car-rides, and then more skiing. oscar doesn't usually get a lot of time off work, and when he does, he wants to make the most of it. and as his partner, he thinks you should be doing the same, and that's why he's woken you up in the early hours every morning this last week, practically bouncing from how much he aches to go out in the swiss alps yet again.
the hot tub is big enough to swim around in, but oscar makes his way to the side and sits down on the built-in seat, arms stretching out and resting on the edge of the pool. you swim over to him, easily slipping onto his lap and letting your hands rest on his shoulders. oscar tenses up when you sit on him, and you're not surprised by the length already poking up at you – he's just a man, after all – but you decide not to do anything to acknowledge it just yet.
"it's really beautiful here, don't you think?" you ask, looking to your side. the sun has only just set, so the little village isn't completely dark yet. the moon above your heads casts a soft hue over the mountains you've spent all week conquering, stars twinkling among the tops.
"not as beautiful as you, though." there's barely any lightning out here other than the little candles scattered across the floor, but you see the fire in oscar's gaze clearly when you look back at him. he's staring at you like you're the most perfect work of art, the most beautiful thing to ever exist – and your expression matches his, because he truly is your favorite thing to look at in the world. your heart flutters at the contrast between how cute he looks with a few locks of his long fringe curling along his forehead, and how incredibly sexy his body looks with the little droplets of water decorating his muscular chest. he's just stunning.
"you really did a great job with planning and booking all of this, you know," you start. "i may have complained quite a bit when you dragged me out of bed at six am, but... it's all been perfect."
your hands find the space just below his jaw, and it takes all of your strength not to blatantly stare at his thick neck when you feel the muscles under your touch.
"well, perfect except for the fact that my legs are so sore right now."
oscar chuckles at this confession, hands leaving the edge of the pool and dipping into the water instead. "let me help you out with that, then..."
a jolt of electricity shoots down your spine when his palms meet your bare thighs, fingers pressing into the skin and stroking you softly. your eyes flutter closed, loving every second of his massage and growing hotter when his hands make their way further and further up. it doesn't take long before oscar can't hold back anymore, reaching up to press his lips against yours.
you sigh into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling yourself further towards him, your crotch brushing against his as a result. the moan he lets out is so hot that you instinctively begin grinding down against him, wanting to hear more.
oscar gets the hint, but finds himself reaching for your shoulders, holding you back as he leans out of the kiss. your lips chase after him, a frown taking over your face when he doesn't give in. you open your eyes to look at him.
"are you sure... that you want to..." oscar's voice is low but genuine; he knows you aren't a fan of exhibitionism, and that these situations usually only make you uncomfortable.
but the look in your eyes is impossible to misinterpret. "there's no one around..."
he looks around the area once more just to make sure. choosing to go to the spa at 8pm, the exact time when the restaurant at the hotel was the most crowded, was oscar's best idea yet.
he doesn't say anything else. he just grabs the back of your neck, pushing you down to his lips yet again. it's more rushed now, messy kisses pressed against your lips and his tongue swiping across your bottom lip hastily. his other hand caresses all the way down your back, gives your butt a quick squeeze, and then moves to your front instead. his fingers trace the edge of your bikini before dipping inside of it, finding your clit with ease.
your upper body is completely leaning onto him by now, little sounds slipping past your lips as he starts drawing circles onto your already sensitive bud. in no time, he's slipped past your clit, one finger sliding into your core and pumping you a couple of times before being joined by another finger. you can't help but clench around him, exhaling into the kiss.
"please, oscar..." you whine against his lips, and oscar nods, pulling out of you and breaking the kiss. he holds your hips away a little to make space for his hand undoing the knot that holds up his swim trunks, before pulling his dick out of them. he lifts you up, fingers pushing your bikini bottoms to the side but pausing when his tip meets your core. he waits for your nod of consent before finally entering you.
the water helps him glide into you, a throaty moan rumbling from his throat when he bottoms you out. he doesn't give you even a second to adjust, hands on your hips pulling you up before sinking you onto him again.
"fuck," he lets out, throwing his head back when you start to roll your hips against his. "you feel so good..."
you lean forward, forehead resting on the bend of his neck as you bounce up and down on him. your hands move to the back of his head, fingers getting lost in his locks, and it doesn't take long before your movements get sloppier. you gasp when oscar begins thrusting up into you, meeting your downward movements in a steady rhythm.
his grip on your hips grows firmer, rough fingers pressing into your skin and surely leaving marks for tomorrow. he's getting closer, too – you can tell by the string of moans he's letting out in between a bunch of swearwords – and you use your last bit of energy to pick up your pace and help him out. your walls contract around him when you come, and you feel him reach his own high not long after, twitching and shooting into you as you ride out your orgasms.
his hands are more gentle now, brushing up and down your back and following the bumps of your spine. when you finally gain the energy to speak, your words vibrate against his skin. "well, we're never coming back to this spa again." you lean back slightly, looking up at him for the first time in a while. "or the town, for that matter."
his blissed-out eyes meet yours, soft and glossy as he raises his eyebrows. "why's that?"
his flushed cheeks make him look so innocent, but his heaving chest tells another story. "did you not see the cameras?" you question.
"oh, you think we're the first ones to do this here?" you gasp at his wording, splashing some water his way. he laughs. "what, do you really? i reckon this happens here at least once every day. maybe even more."
"oscar!"
1K notes · View notes
mooishbeam · 1 year
Text
『♡』 Treasures of the Fraud
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♡ featuring: pantalone x f!reader
♡ summary: it's been forever since you've seen your friend, and as the hero of liyue, a new interruption has arisen. you pursue it, only to find memories awaiting you. wc: 9.1k+ (D:)
♡ cw/tw: long lonnggg fic, obsession, mentions of murder, mention of suicide, mentions of blood, manipulation, toxic pantalone, mean pantalone, possessive, spanking, degradation, mild praise, fingering, thigh riding, missionary, overstim, begging, edging, comeshot, pet names (darling, slut)
notes: helloooo!! ive been slow to get stuff out college is kicking my ass rn so sorry. not proofread so i apologize for any mistakes. I can't wait to have more time :) art by yion_yi on ig! <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated!
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12 years ago 
“Come get me!” 
The boy with inky curls spiraling down his back dips through trees, ducking under low hanging branches embellished with vibrant autumn foliage. Messy blends of pink and purple melt across the slowly bleeding sun carried into the night. His silhouette resembles that of a malevolent spirit peeking behind the boughs, leaping over tangled twigs and shallow ditches. His excited screeches signal you to chase after the leading direction. You’re both screaming and laughing down the undoubtedly dangerous shortcuts. If your mother knew about the adventurous risks you were taking at 13, you’d never leave the house again. Tag is a troubling game—despite the thousands of times you’ve played with him, you regularly end up being “it”. You don’t care about losing, though; having someone to call a friend is enough.  
You turn into a clearing with columns of trees overseeing your small presence, hundreds of them. The colder night is rising, not a celestial body to shield.  In this deep blue void, the leaves seem to be aggrieved at your interruption of some secret meeting, angry and smiling faces crumpling in the whispering wind. You spin around frantically, looking for signs or laughter, but neither reveal themself. It’s quiet besides the downy linger of grass. Your shoulders are snatched back and shaken to a rattling shock. You scream, and he laughs. 
“Rahhh! Did I get you?” he jests. Your eyebrows narrow, and you push him lightly to a stumble. 
“You scared me!” 
“Hah, that’s the point. C’mon, it’s late. Let’s go.” He's scared too, swiftly grabbing your hand as you both brave the darkness back to the village. 
“We should’ve been home a while ago” you say quietly. You feel the chill in your bones and press yourself closer to him. 
“Yea.” He holds your hand tighter at the sound of a small rock bouncing down a steep hill. 
“I had fun today. Let’s do this again tomorrow.” 
“I have something to tell you.” 
“Okay.” 
“I’m moving in the morning” he states. It was nonchalant, but your stomach turns a churning sickness. One you can’t understand yet, it makes you uneasy. 
“Oh. Okay, then.” It isn't okay, not in the slightest. But it had to be. Your best friend of 8 years looks at you, aiming to register the gravity of the situation. You both say nothing, but tears start to brim in your eyes in the silence. You wipe them with your arm. 
“Will you miss me?” he asks. 
“A lot.” 
“I’ll miss you too. Lots and lots.” He sways your interlocking hands. You pass by vacant homes tattered and aged by abandonment, overgrown with invading ivy. Homeless reside, caring each other to warmth from the freezing draft. You were lucky to have a home in this little forgotten sector of Liyue. It's a small, unfortunate room, with holes in the roof that drips when it rains and bags over the windows to keep the heat in. The stove never works, and you share a bed with your mother, but every birthday she makes sure to save just enough for a slice of cake with one candle. There isn’t more you could ask for. Everyone in the village suffered from poverty but they made it work, sharing crops and dairy to persevere until the next year. That’s how you met him, sitting on a rock as your mother collected rations. You perform two pebbles in your hands, mumbling sea shanties while imagining voyage on a grueling journey—he sat next to you. 
“Those aren’t dolls. They’re rocks.” 
“You’re a rock” you retorted.  
“No, I’m not.” 
“Do you want to be a rock?” 
“...That’d be kinda cool.” You gave him a pile of pebbles, and he joined the trip. 
You’re getting closer to the village, still processing who you’ll play with once he’s gone. You glance at him, he’s spaced out in a faraway stare. You crave the power to read minds. 
“Can we talk about something? I’m getting sad” you sniffle. 
“What should be talk about?” 
“What are you going to do after you move?” 
“I’m gonna be super rich” he assures, looking up at the starless sky as if a meteor would shoot across and grant his wish. “What about you?” 
“I’m going to save the world” you proclaim.  
“Cool. I hope you do.” 
“Me too.” 
You arrive at your makeshift door drawn together with scraps of wood and twisted rope for hinges. A dim candle glimmers inside, most likely your vexed mother waiting for your tardily return. He makes space for your entry, and you undo your hands for the last time. Before you go, he snatches your wrist. His eyes are foggy, cheeks an anxious tinge of pink. He isn’t sure what he’s feeling, but the strings in his heart are tense. His mouth shapes to say something, but nothing returns. 
“Yeah?” 
“...I... I’ll really miss you a lot” he whispers with a lump in his throat.  
“Then don’t forget me, okay?” 
“I won’t.” 
“You promise?” you say and raise your pinky towards him. He curls around it. “I promise.” 
“Good. By the way, you’re it now.” 
“I’ll get you back when I see you again!” he chuckles. You bid your goodbyes, unaware that it would mark the unforeseen conclusion. 
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Leaves crunch under your feet as you make your leisurely traverse to Liyue Harbor. It’s just before sunrise and you finished helping the elderly in Qingce Village carry copious amounts of heavy produce to their homes. The thankful candies from seniors' jingle in your pocket as you stretch your weary arms. Your mom offered to cook, but you're determined to locate the best commissions Katheryne had before afternoon. “Maybe I’ll pick up some rice buns” you think out loud at the rumble of your growing appetite. You still had a long way to go before you got to the harbor. 
This was your new normal. After your thundering battle with Ningguang and Keqing against Osial, you became an example of Liyue’s triumph. You also became more aware of Fatui tactics, wiping out their swarms with the raging fury of your pneuma and swinging vision. Days of grueling bloodshed resulted in your victory, cementing you as the lionheart of Liyue. Beat up and bruised, the only request you made after your fight was a hot meal and a place for your mom to retire. They delivered both, and you used your recent hero status to provide help to the villagers where needed, be it casual favors or ruthless assault on Fatui agents. You were neither rich nor poor, and lived off the land and kindness of the Liyue Qixing. They often suggested you focus on less mundane tasks, but to you, the most vulnerable age groups warranted priority. There was something about the lighthearted innocent squeals of children and mellow grandparents rocking in their wooden chairs that made you protective to an almost volatile extent. 
Bustling interactions of trade and commerce carry through the wind as you enter the harbor—a sound that’s brought you peace for years. The smell of food vendors has you drooling instantly. As you devour the complimentary rice bun, you feel the yank of a little hand on your skirt. You look down and a boy with brown hair searches for familiarity in your face. You recognize him, babysitting him numerous times. You kneel and pat his head, but he doesn’t react or move.  
“Hey, what’s up? Where are your parents?” you question, briefly scanning your immediate area for his family. He’s hesitant to speak, as if he can’t find the panicked words, and rushes into your arms. You hug him instinctively and let him sniffle into your shoulder. You pick him up in your grasp and raise his head with your other hand so that he’ll hopefully be open to your compassion.  
“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” The boy wipes his chubby tomato-red face. “Grandma is on the floor, what do I do?” You quell your rising nerves to suppress his alarm and speak calmly.  
“Where is she?” 
Speed walking towards the destination, the commotion of a small crowd surrounds a kneeling woman in the distance. She’s on her sun-spotted hands and knees, wailing for some bygone Archon. “Grandma!” he yells and jumps out of your arms. You run after him, relieved that the worst case scenario hadn’t occurred. You push through the group and get eye level with her, forehead pressed to the ground spouting religious scripture. 
“Are you okay? Do you need medical assistance?” Wise sunken eyes wrinkled with age and torn by tragedy stick to your heart. Her feeble hands encapsulate yours, and tears stream down her cheeks. “They took my baby!” she rasps, rocking back and forth. “Who did?” you ask, and she weeps harder. “They took her memory...my baby, my daughter!” You support her weight and lift her hunched figure off the pavement. “What did they look like, ma’am?” 
“A black hood...red mask” she recalls shakily. Instantly miscellaneous chatter ensues. They whisper nervously in each other's ears, he who shall not be named steals their voices. “Fatui probably got ‘er” you hear the mumble of one. Fatui. Your blood boils at the word, and you direct your view to the shrinking man with hands in his pockets. “‘He’ got all of us” he scoffs. “Did they hurt you guys, too?” you ask, and they stare. They’re pained but accepting.  
“500,000 mora.”  
“194,000 for me.” 
They list off their debt one by one, and you’re horrified at the accumulating number. They seem to endure, however; no longer phased by the incurable tally haunting their lives. “H-how are you paying any of this?” 
“We can’t. It adds up. Interest, late payments, it always does. So, we give everything, and ‘he’ takes everything, until we have nothing left. We die poor without a possession to our name” a woman sighs. As a child, you heard of the loan sharks that purposely fed false promises to the poor, and once they were reeled in, charged insurmountable payments to blackmail—it was the origin story of most people in your birthplace. Your soul aches for them, but is there anything you can do? 
“...I’ll help you, all of you. I’m sure I can-” 
Ningguang arrives. She's a nurturing figure to you, the kind that asks if you’ve been eating well and politely scolds you.  “What happened?” You lead the tired elder to the Jade Chamber, and she tells her story through choked sobs. You didn’t expect Keqing to already be there, arms folded and turned away from the situation. Ningguang can barely glance at the woman. 
“They stormed my home and took my jewelry and belongings. They took the pendant my daughter gave me; it had her face in it. Archons give me strength, my baby! I can’t afford it; I have nothing!” she quakes. You rub her back and Ningguang nods, listening—you can’t help but notice the anxiety blooming on her abstracted face. They take her through the process and once she leaves, Ningguang and Keqing look at each other with a silent understanding. The room is eerily quiet, and Ningguang paces back and forth in front of the intel wall contemplating an uncertain danger. You fumble with your thumbs. 
“What are we going to do about this?” you wonder. Keqing clears her throat loudly, attracting the attention of Ningguang. She looks at you, and sighs deeply. “We already know about this issue.” 
Your ears perk up. “Great, so how can I help?” 
“By doing nothing, (Y/N)” Keqing says. 
“...What?” 
“I have eyes everywhere; I’ve known for a long time. The Fatui are not people to be taken lightly, especially the harbingers. A few of their skirmishers were caught trading exotic goods and taxing medicine at high prices, on top of extorting the impoverished regions.” Ningguang points to one of the many Fatui exclusive headquarters on the wall. “Pantalone is the richest man in Teyvat, he has more political influence than anyone can imagine, and they answer to him. We can’t risk getting involved with this. They’ve brought this upon themselves, and unfortunately, they must deal with the consequences.” 
You can’t accept this response. How can they just desert them? It doesn’t comprehend in your naïvity—you scold yourself for not spotting the signs sooner, furrowing your brows and looking at them with distaste. “I expected this. You shouldn’t have said anything” Keqing chides. “...Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped before-” 
“You’re the last person I wanted to know about this” Ningguang interrupts. Your anger feels misplaced, and you bite your lip in restraint. She sits next to you and offers fleeting comfort with a graceful hand on yours. “You’re quite the reactionary type. In due time, this will be sorted. But right now, I need you to calm down, and trust me.” It sounds desperate, you know you shouldn’t go looking for answers, but a snagging thread pulls at the back of your consciousness, all too convincing. You bounce your leg. “You should want revenge just as much as me. Where we came from, where they end up, it isn’t fair.”  
“You know I do, more than anything. But we must handle this with care, before too many people get hurt. I’m doing this for the betterment of Liyue as a whole. It’s not easy to make these decisions.” 
“We can’t just go around serving justice, there’s laws we have to act with” Keqing adds. You don’t reply and stand up abruptly to leave. The worried Tianquan grabs your wrist one last time. “Promise me you won’t make a mistake, (Y/N). I’m trying to protect you” she pleads. 
“I promise. Thank you.” You flash a half genuine smile, already planning to rebel against her wishes. 
Who exactly is ‘he’—Pantalone. You don’t even know where to start looking. Too many headquarters, infinite possibilities. The best way you have to find him is through Fatui agents.  
You start taking up odd jobs late in the evening, scouring for the possibility that a fatui agent might fall into your hands. Though you considered playing the part of an impoverished villager taking out a loan at Northland Bank, it didn’t guarantee that you’d meet Pantalone in the flesh—it’s more likely that would raise unnecessary suspicion in the process. It’s awkward at first, seeing the hero of Liyue fish on the dock for petty change throughout the night. As you do, the malicious fire in your eyes burns bright at the occasional voice in chill silence. Your vision glows as you toss the hunting knife between your nimble digits. Listening closely to conversations, hoping that one might be unguarded enough to slip up, but nothing of the sort appears—not even the boldness of Fatui skirmishers enables them to divulge secrets under the baleful existence of Celestia.  
The moon illuminates sweetly on the tranquil waters lulling you to drowse. You hadn’t heard much since the start of your escapade. A fishing pole is weak in your resistless hold, and you’ve evidently given up on the idea of portraying the hardworking fisherman tonight. You vowed to help the people of Liyue, but justice was seemingly unfeasible. Maybe a direct approach? Should I ambush their headquarters? More so a suicide mission, you’d have no luck achieving that. Just as you’re about to leave, the crunch of withering grass straightens your posture. You make yourself hidden with a burst of energy and slouch behind the bushes as a Fatui pyro agent charges along the route. Through the glutted leaves obstructing your vision, you can just make out the heavy bag on his shoulder and jagged blade waiting restlessly on the other. His stride points towards Qingce Village. You hold your breath disguising yourself with the scenery and allow him to take a few feet between you before you begin following him. He’s rather shifty, those veiled eyes darting back and forth at the lightest noise. You’re careful to glide behind trees, moving with the heartbeat of the wind and taking advantage of the various melody's nature offers. You suck in a breath and duck behind a boulder a few inches too close, and his head snaps in your direction. The feeling of being watched besets him, but with no way to prove it and time running out, he secures his knife for the hypothetical ambush, and makes haste towards the target. Turning a tree, you watch as the pyro wielder knocks on the house of a small worn cottage. A short stocky man appears, shading half his body behind the door. 
“H-hello...” you hear faintly. The Fatui keeps his hand firm on the door, one boot propped under the hinge. He presents the flaming knife loosely as he towers over the man. “We’ve given you time.” You were sure now that he's working for Pantalone.  
“I don’t have it. P-please, if you could just give me some more-” He slams his fist against the wood, a resounding thump shakes the home. The man cowers. “Give me everything you have. The Regrator won’t wait any long-” 
A small rock flies past his mask, skidding on the ground until it comes to a stop. He glares in the direction of the tree you’re hiding behind. You have no plan, nothing but the distracting impulse to stop the assailant from attacking. “Stay here” he commands, and stalks towards you. His slow footsteps get increasingly louder, playful stomps toying with your obvious whereabouts. He twirls the razor-sharp knife, and as he sharply peeks around the corner, you’re nowhere to be found. “Here, kitty kitty” he taunts, spinning towards the lake, then the village grounds for footprints. He severs the air aimlessly in mirth, believing some amateur fighter came to challenge him. As he monitors the tracks under you, you drop down from the wiry branches. Legs wrap tight around his neck, and you catch hold of his hood trying to pull his mask off. He gags but he’s too quick, throwing off your steadiness as he slams your spine on the grass. He whips around to take a stab at your chest, but you roll away guarding the vital arteries. You kick him in the crotch, and he recoils giving you ample time to stand.  
You can’t feel the wet laceration dripping down your abdomen as you take a slash at his throat with your weapon, infused with elemental energy. He leans back and meets your strike. You trade blows, the strength of your smite bursting sparks of light above the scratches and bruises. Your wrist burns with the unmoving knives stumbling you. He begins to manifest blazing knives circling his figure, and you jump back from the singing cut melting the cloth. You wipe the dried blood from your mouth, and in the blink of an eye, he disappears. Suddenly, red auras similar to the pyro agent surround you. One by one, the clones charge at you, and you parry their overhead onslaught. Something is different about the last clone, your vision revealing a brighter outline than the others. When the next clone attacks, as you counter you pretend to fall for his trick. With your eyes on the other, he immediately passes through the black fog to deal the killing blow. You’re quicker this time and heave a heavy tear into his chest. Crimson splatters the grass, it shatters his element and rips open the robe. You tackle him on the dirt and wrestle until you kick his weapon away. Your knee digs into his back, and he can barely breathe with his arm locked behind him and knife rigid against his neck. He ttempts to swing at you, but you wrench his arm tighter and slice into his skin just enough to draw blood. 
“Fuck. Okay!” he wheezes. “Where is Pantalone?”  
“I don’t know what you’re- shit!” You’ve lost patience long ago and twist his arm to dislocate the shoulder. He lets out a blood curdling scream thrashing in pain—you tug hard and focus him. “Shut up and answer my question. Where is Pantalone?” you demand. He hisses in pain and coughs up phlegm mixing with reddening soil. “Kill me.” 
“Just tell me and I’ll let you go.” 
“I’m a dead man, either way.” he rasps and hangs his head waiting for the execution. You grit your teeth; a drop of guilt leaves a bad taste as you thwack the pressure point on his neck that forces him unconscious. You glance at the bag he left and limp over to rummage through the contents. Useless papers crumple under stolen items, but one note catches your eye. Presumably a to-do list, you read to the bottom. A list of homes, goods on standby exchanges—at the bottom of those, a rendezvous point: 
Report back- Yilong Bank, Liyue 
You rest in a plot of prickly bushes and leave in the morning after patching yourself up. You couldn’t stop now, not when you were this close to facing him. You soothe your body from the twigs prodding you all night, and check the wound suppressed by gauze. It’s a light scar now, apparent after bathing in the warm water on the outskirts of Qingce. You contemplated telling Ningguang about what occurred, but imagining the look on her face once she knew kept you moving. 
Tucking your vision where it can’t be viewed, you take a waverider to Yilong Port into the afternoon. You concoct a half-baked scheme, one that relies on every scenario being perfect to a tee. Unreliable, but probably your only chance. The plan amounts to scaling the building and breaking in through the office window, snatching everything owned by the villagers and breaking out before anyone notices. Easy in your capabilities, but you have no idea what the building looks like, nor do you know where the office is. The man driving wears all black, an outfit that stands out from the rest of the region. He stares at you blankly, and once you’re aware, you meet eyes. His smile is uncanny, stretching across his face with an abnormal friendliness. 
“Is this your first time at the port?” he asks, finger tapping the wheel. Be it sleep deprivation or ignorance; you don’t recognize red flags in his behavior.  You smile at the courteous face. “Yeah, the weather’s beautiful out here.” 
“Mhm, hot weather up here. On vacation?” 
“Nah, I have business here.” The minuscule edge of your vision catches in the light. He homes in on the passing twinkle. You wonder why his eyes widen momentarily, and his finger starts to tap methodically, as if memorizing a coded pattern. 
“Business...what kind?” 
“Oh...I have some items to trade.” You close off your answers feeling that you’ve said too much. He subsides with a stale expression. “If you’re looking to trade, you might find luck at Yilong Bank” he utters monotonously.  
“And where is that?” You feign disinterest, but victory is too loud on your tongue. 
“Up the mountain.” The waverider halts at the harbor, and he turns his head away from you unusually cold, akin to a mechanical bot shutting down. “Welcome to Yilong Port.” 
You make yourself invisible in the crowd and wait for nightfall. People still roam the port along with Fatui monitoring the front of the bank, which gives you leeway to blend in as you find passage around the back of the mountain. It’s a steep, dark incline jutted with irregular jagged stones. The imposing size of the climb tangles knots in your stomach, and you wipe the persistent sweat on your top. In one huge leap, you latch onto a craggy indent, and begin your ascension. 
Your legs feel like jelly with each contact of the unforgiving breeze. You sway alongside the spirit of anemo and swallow your anxiety before leaping to the next rock. Shoes plant into rock and nails excavate fresh cobble on the next jump. By the time you’ve realized, you’re already up most of the mountain. You tug yourself even with the land as a barreling gust of wind goads your glance to the ground, kilometers beneath you. Your breath stills, and for a second dizziness overtakes your nerves at the thought of slipping. I could die, one mistake and I’m dead. You focus, and spring to the next piece. Without warning, rock gives way into pebbles at the weight of your foot. You nearly plunge, but anchor onto the small bump out with one hand. You’re dangling off the edge, playing with death while you fortify your body. Hyperventilation makes your heartbeat thrum incessantly and stress palpitates tired muscles; If you didn't have your vision, you would’ve fainted to your demise. You bite the bullet, push your heels in and persevere through the hurdles. The next thing you clutch is malleable in your palm. You vault over the cliff, the smell of dew is overwhelming. The back of the bank—the end goal—is visible.  
One Fatui member remains in the front. You scale up the building effortlessly, nothing compared to the hell you just went through. Shifting window to window, your eyes land on the pitch-black darkness of the room at the top of the building. An ideal glow casts on the fraction of precious gold resting on a coffee table. This has to be it. You slink through the window soundlessly, and land on the balls of your feet. Analyzing the dish, you don’t discern the pendant. You can faintly identify some bookshelves near the dish, and tiptoe further inside. You creep around luxury sofas, and squint at the embellished glass case next to the door, containing all manner of jewelry and valuable possessions. You won; this was it. You scurry to it, moving with abrupt carelessness. One more step. 
Click 
The fireplace you didn’t heed is set aflame. It flickers sneering shadows on the opposite wall and brightens the case. You pause and hope. There’s a confining silence stirring in the room, like someone is with you. The case is visible now, and so is the key to opening it. 
You fell into a trap. 
“Looks like I have a little thief on my hands.”  
A bittersweet voice in the sable, reminiscent of rich dark chocolate, rolls off the room. He steps out obscurity behind his desk and your eyes adjust, revealing the tight black turtleneck compressing his willowy torso and gloves adorned with silver rings. You can’t see the upper part of his face, but the chains of his glasses hang in front of that duping smile. You expected the Fatui harbinger to be on the stronger side, physically intimidating. It’s not physical, but you feel a certain fear boiling in your body. He’s not terrifying, but you tremble. His presence makes your hair stand and sends waves of goosebumps up your arms. You can’t find the will to move your wobbly legs. His charmed laugh rings in your ears and causes you to hold your breath. He has no vision; you shouldn’t be afraid. You could take him on easily, why can’t you fight? 
“Hello, honored hero of Liyue” the headless man taunts. It makes it worse that he knows who you are. How long had he known you were coming? Was your plan doomed from the beginning? Your feet are stuck in molasses as your fight or flight shuts down at the man before you.  
“Now, tell me. What is the little thief doing, barging into my office to take the possessions I worked so hard for? Not very heroic of you, If I may say.” There’s power in his stature—you forget how to speak. He holds his palm out to you. Tangled between his fingers, is the ornate golden pendant you’d been searching for, a woman’s face in the frame. Your eyes widen, and the sweet familiar curve of his lips stretches in amusement. 
“Is this what you’re looking for?” The plod of low-heeled boots accompanies unveiled darkness, and you can observe his entirety. Amethyst eyes drunk with an orchid hue pool into your being. Lazy curls brush against his glasses and kiss his porcelain skin. He’s beautiful, a calm enticing rip current that sweeps you with immeasurable pressure before you can pull yourself out. He leans on the desk, observing the chain halfheartedly. If you weren’t careful, you’d mistake the look on his face for genuine kindness; you’d drown, just like he craved. Nonetheless, you can’t shake the emotion his smile grants. 
“Yes. That’s all I need, and I won’t bother you again” you whisper meekly, hoping that he’d let you go with the pendant in a spur of forgiveness. The jest in his eyes says something different. 
“Come get it.”  
Come get it. Your mind begins to piece the man into a stage of your life you’d forgotten. It can’t be him. Memory tells intrusive truth in short flashes. Inky curls spiraling in front of you as you chase. He was consistently miles ahead of you. It was irrelevant how far apart you were; he’d always find you. That big, curving smile for every match he won. Purple eyes glancing back at yours; the same ones that withheld tears when you said goodbye. 
“Come get me!” 
Tears stream down your eyes for the friend you thought you’d never see again. Childhood laughter bleeds into his current cat-like conniving snicker, and you gaze at his face. 
“I... remember you” you choke. He looks up without a smile, perceiving an unexpected thought, and meets your eyes. There’s a hint of affection in the warm smile beaming on his face. “My my, (Y/N). You have quite the memory.” 
You’re motionless, full of something that catches in your lungs. This isn’t the triumph you wanted, and now that you’re face to face you feel powerless. He must’ve known the entire time. Watching you fight and work alone, sending Fatui to roam in Liyue, all done to toy with you. Your lip quivers, swelling in your already deafening heartbeat.  
“How long...” you utter. He inquires with the tilt of his head. 
“How long have you been messing with me?” Your eyes adhere to the floor, pride that won’t permit you to shed misery for Pantalone. He drinks in your resistant frame, the kind he desires to break; perhaps this game of cat and mouse isn’t done, after all. 
“This hurts me too, (Y/N). I wouldn’t be doing this if you weren’t so…persistent.” Your confusion spills over in shaky, weak huffs. You can’t maintain your composure, and make yourself first to oppose the authoritative man on his own territory. 
“How could you do this to anyone? We grew up poor!” You shout with balling fists. 
“It’s inefficient to dwell on the past” he replies with gentle cadence and languid grace unrepresentative of his cruel tactics. You nearly regret raising your voice. 
“These people are at their wits end and you’re taking advantage of them” you chide. He slowly paces towards you. Pantalone looks down on you from height disparity, but the royal glower pities you, judges worth you can’t see. 
“Driven by emotions, are you that simple? You presumed that if you stormed in here, and professed a touching story, that I would suddenly see the error in my methods?” You’re not sure what you’re here for anymore or why you haven’t left yet. Subconscious urges can't determine if they should slap or hug the man inching towards you. “I simply enforce contracts and exchanges. No one can be swindled by a debt accreted on their own.” 
“No one asks to be poor either” you interject. Pantalone’s a foot away from you now, analyzing your reactions to his personal entertainment. He recalls the blurry past—the pranks you pulled together that ultimately failed from your loud hurried sneakiness tripping to alert the farmers, helping out for loose change so that you’d split a snack between each other that wasn’t big enough to share, gazing at the twinkling night imagining a distant future—you changed and stayed the same, but he keeps wanting more.  
“Weigh the odds. They either die impoverished or live by passage of loans. I merely provide a service. Does that make me so cruel?” You can’t find an answer. 
“You’ll always be my friend, but I need it back. It can’t be much to forgive someone’s debt” you plead.  
“You still consider me a friend?” 
“I think…you’re hurt. And you’re trying to heal. We all are. I know I’ve dealt with a lot as I’ve gotten older and I think you have, too. Power corrupts even the best people in this world, so maybe you’re not a bad person. But you’re doing bad things, and this isn’t the right way to get better.” 
Pantalone is quiet for a few long moments. His hands web his face, but you can clearly see the pearly fangs in his open-mouthed smirk. Then he laughs—dulcet and mocking, it lingers for too long as he throws his head back and relishes the obtuse notion. He gazes with insulting compassion and stalks towards you. 
“Incredibly…. gullible. Mora is the pathway to all endeavors. Devoid of gnosis or divine knowledge, wealth has rendered me impervious to control. Suffering and destitution only manifest if I will it. I am the guise of a false god, an emblem of achievement.” It’s borderline delusional the way he regards himself, arms moving in theatric grandeur, the star of his own opera. 
“Does that make you feel good? Stepping on the backs of the community that raised you, and abandoning them because they chose not to be influenced by greed?” Pantalone towers over you. His fingers brush light against your sensitive ears, trail to your clenched jaw, and finally cup your frustrated cheeks with the cradle of a long-lost lover. 
“It does, in fact. I’m not easily swayed by ridiculous optimism, that’s why I’m at the top. You’ve devoted your blood and tears to a region that will succumb to adversity in your absence. Is that not a pointless feat?” 
“So what? That doesn’t mean we just don’t help people. You have nothing without the Fatui, you’re a pawn just like the others” you retort. He brings his lips close to the shell of your ear, and his breath hot on the untouched skin drags a tingle up your spine. 
“And what do you know about the Fatui?” he whispers. 
“I know enough. You’re all disgusting.” He huffs out his nose. 
“Disgusting isn’t the right word. I’d say...opportunists.” Pantalone backs up, sliding his hand up your chin and tilting your attention to the intense glint. “But you’re clever, I’ll give you that. If only you were clever enough to know your place.” You'd forgotten you were acting out of line. You refocus your mindset to negotiation. 
“I’ll do anything you ask for the debt. Please, just give it back.” The word “anything” evokes a malicious yearning—so forthcoming without understanding the implications of “anything”, of eternity. He caresses your cheek. 
“Anything, hm? Even if I said to give up being a hero for good? Would you still call yourself a heroic traveler if you weren’t allowed to travel or adventure as you please?” he teases. Your mouth opens to refute, but you bite your bottom lip instead. Pantalone walks back to his desk and leans while dangling the golden chain. Now that he’s far, the invading space between you two shows how insignificant you are in this luxury palace. 
“Your resolve moves me. Consider this; make an exchange with me, and I’ll guarantee not only her debt, but the debt of all residents in Liyue forgiven” Your face instantly lights up, ready to accept it without thinking. 
“What is it?” you ask. 
“In exchange for regional loan forgiveness, I want you.” 
“...What?” 
“I want everything you have. It’s the fairest exchange I can make. Your obedience, your loyalty, and your body.”  
The choice turns in your frontal lobe. You can’t fathom giving yourself to a man, let alone a Fatui harbinger. It’s unbecoming of a hero to lie with the enemy. 
“Absolutely not” you assure. 
“Alright. Then allow their village to be reduced to nothing.” No, wait. “You may leave. However, if you do, you’ll cause great misfortune to that woman and her struggling family” You play into his covet so smoothly as you stand in the center of the room, reluctant to leave.  
“I’m not a complete monster, so I’ll give you 5 seconds to make a choice.” He sways the pendant in his hand like the transient time of an hourglass. 5 seconds, all you have to sign your life away. 
“4.”  
What if no one ever sees you again? What’s the point of sacrificing your happiness and freedom, are the people of Liyue truly worth it? 
“3.” 
You could threaten him, take him hostage so that a harbinger might bow to your demands. That, or they kill you, and the village suffers anyway. 
“2.” 
You think of your graying mom, the sweet boy with his chubby red face who cries over the smallest things, the grateful elders that give you candy after every good deed, Ningguang and Keqing stressing over the next financial impact. 
“1.” 
“I’ll do it.”  
Pantalone swings the chain into his palm, an undefeated smug overbearing as he sets it on the desk. There was never a point in resisting; he always got what he wanted, no matter how long it took to achieve it. He waited months—no, years—to get you in this exact moment. There’s a daunting beguiling charm in the way he closes the gap between you two. You glare at him; a temper common people would dread shooting. He assesses the pending punishment and lowers himself eye-level. He grins, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. 
“I can see the defiance in your eyes. Do you want to talk back? Go ahead, challenge me.” You don’t test this scenario and turn your head. “Don’t patronize me. Get it over with, ‘Pantalone’.” 
He quirks an eyebrow, and pliable flesh strains your teeth as your face is gripped rough by satiny leather. You’re twisted sharply to the calm expression—it humbles you. 
“That’s not how you address your superior. What should you call me?” You don’t answer promptly to his liking, and he tightens his grip. “Answer me properly, darling.” 
“...Sir.” Pantalone plants a sickly sugary kiss on your forehead, the kind that makes you forget how petrifying he can be, and lets you go.  
“Good.” He walks back to the desk and sits in the onyx chair embellished with silver jewels fit for a king. His chin rests on bridging hands. “Strip.” 
You don’t move, your heart hammers in your chest at the request and you stir uncomfortably. You have no experience with sexual gratification, let alone exposing yourself to an old friend.  
“(Y/N). Don’t make me say it again.” Keen agitation in his voice serves as a final warning. He eats you with his eyes, homed in on your hands clumsily snaking the top over your head. A glimpse of the scar you received during your fight with the Fatui captures him. He takes a mental entry, for an explanation that might justify why the agent suddenly goes missing. You were generally too busy to look in the mirror or analyze your assets, and pleasure was a removed afterthought—so the hungry fervor warming your skin and permeating the room clamped your thighs shut. You’re visibly flustered and nervous fumbling with the clasps on your bra while stabilizing your anxiety, and he delights in every second of the accidental strip tease. It feels like fresh meat introduced to a savage animal, and the instant your bra omes off, a new vulnerability coils in your gut. You move to your bottoms; the sheen of sweat polishes your plush thighs to wiggle out of them. You’re left in nothing but tantalizing panties hugging you in the right places. His eyes undress and redress you, tracing up and down the perk of your nipples, tempting fullness of your thighs, each unseen curve and perfect imperfect mark on your glistening body. He lets out a deep breath to stop himself from jumping over the table and taking you right there. 
“The underwear. Take it off” he says, an undertone of lust. You shimmy the fabric off and fully expose yourself. You impulsively cover your intimate parts and avert your eyes, but you can still feel Pantalone on you, ravaging you. He doesn’t bother telling you to put your arms at your sides, your bashfulness combined with an attempt at stoicism is comical. 
“Ah, the little thief is trying to act tough. That's cute” Pantalone teases and leans back in the chair. Manspreading, he pats his thigh. “Crawl.”  
He’s hellbent on shaming the defiance out of you. It’s a vile command, but you begrudgingly drop to your hands and knees. You drag your chaffed knees on wood, balancing like a newborn fawn adjusting to its legs. It’s humiliating and downright degrading; the cold floor fails at cooling your burning fever. You’re on the verge of tears, but Pantalone can’t help but smile. You get around the desk and look up at him, waiting for the next horrible thing he’ll have you do. “Unfortunately, the stunt you pulled impeded my paperwork. Be a good thing and sit on my lap until I’m done.” A “thing”—that’s all you were now, a shiny trophy meant to be ogled at but never taken seriously, used and thrown away. You stand off your scraped raw knees and straddle his thigh, hands balancing the leg so you don’t fall. 
And Pantalone starts to work. Working as if you’re not there, filling in the spaces on his documents. For some reason, it’s more demeaning this way, you truly are just a prize. One hand dances beautiful penmanship in masterful motions on embossed paper, the other fondles and explores your being. The gloves brush down your delicate spine, nonsensical shapes drawn on your lower back that make you shiver and pool heat in places you’ve never thought of. You’ve never been touched like this, it’s needles light on your skin. They move to your stomach, pleasant circles above the pelvis that threaten to go lower. He’s careful to trail his hand up your cleavage and behind your neck, neglect your hardening nipples and repeat the process over and over. He’s painstakingly slow, savoring the dazed arch of your back, massaging your inner thighs and dragging the sleek material over your rear.
Middle and index sweep across your lips, pulling your bottom lip to reveal teeth, and prods your mouth. Pantalone’s fingers are invasive, they exploit your gums and twirl around the squishy tongue molding to his appetite. He plays with the pink mass, and it fills you like a kiss. He’s everywhere and he hasn’t looked at you once. You hate it, the kind elegance and refinement of his technique that makes every calculated word and action reek of opulence. Yet, arousal pools on the surface, sticking to your labia and clouding your drowsy mind. It’s an extreme ache that doesn’t go away from cold showers or shrugging off like you usually would. You can’t remember what you did today, yesterday, or the day before that. The sensation of him consumes you and persists in spots he left. He smells of expensive cologne, hints of heady wood and sage. You’re lucky his fingers are in your mouth, or piteous moans would spill out of you. Flat on his thigh, the subtle jolts of his leg rub against your hypersensitive clit and set your nerves on fire. Throbbing swells in your core, and you struggle to stay stiff as your hips stutter.  
Pantalone knows exactly what he’s doing. Your labored pants sound like saintly melody while you writhe on his lap. The fabric goads your pulsing pussy, and you hang your head in embarrassment of the juices soaking your thighs and his. He’s surprised you have strength left to withstand the itch. You do your best to hover above it, trailing thick strings of slick. “There’s no need to pretend you don’t like this. Just give yourself to me” he whispers. And it’s so enticing, an invitation that might let you come if you ask. However, remnants of pride cling to your melting resolve, you can’t give in yet. He takes the fingers out and presses on your nipple, flicking the bud. You can’t hold the mewl, and he snickers.  
“So indignant for the hero of Liyue, to be on a harbingers lap, reduced to a pretty pet.” Your ears tune out the insults. The damp gloves pull and pinch your puffy nipples, then knead to soothe the pain. He does the same to the other, switching between both as he feels you squirm.  
He works on the last few pages. Piles upon piles of reports and records—they detail the deaths, or “suicides”, of clients who’d disappeared mysteriously after extended absence of payments for millions of mora, people who dared go against the Regrator. Unruly, uncooperative clients that take advantage of fair exchange, and pay the price for it. 
Your arms get tired, and you settle on him again. Pantalone starts to softly bounce his leg, enough for you to notice the friction on your clit. It’s too much, you can’t take it anymore, and start to rut your hips on his thigh. You look messy, smearing your essence on those overpriced slacks and biting back your moans. Pleasure flows in your veins, and you give up. His cock throbs nonstop, print stealing space in his pants. “Did you believe I wouldn’t catch you? You’re not sneaky enough. You’re not good enough," he taunts from the corner of his eye. You hump his leg like a desperate bunny, chasing the addictive high.  
“Nasty slut, fucking your hips on a man you barely remember.” He moves his hands to your clit and replaces the slacks with slippery leather. You grind on it harder and hold your moans. More, more, more. He coats it in the mess and finally diverts his attention to you. He teases your entrance gliding vertically on your vulva before pushing one finger in. It hurts at first, but your walls hug him eagerly, pulling it deeper. He coaxes it to take another and starts scissoring your gushy walls.  
“I’ll devour you. I’ll inscribe my name upon every surface of your physique until it adorns your lips, and I’m the only thing that remains.” Pantalone starts pumping rhythmically, tormenting, poking everywhere but your g-spot. Gloss drips down his knuckles and glazes his rings. 
“S-sir please, s’too much” you whimper, mustering up an ineffective stable voice. “Hmm? Can you hear the lewd sounds you’re making?” Loud squelches sing from him fucking your insides. Each time you try to speak, he elicits another moan. 
“M-my sto-mach hurtss” you whine. He holds your waist in place with the other hand and continues the assault. “I know, it hurts? Would you like me to alleviate the pain?” he coos. You nod fast. 
“Hold it in. You ask for permission every time you’re close, do you understand?” You don’t reply and try to angle your body to get more contact. You make the mistake of guiding yourself to your clit and earn a harsh stinging slap on your hand. “Don’t touch what’s mine” he orders. You’re frustrated and he’s doing it on purpose, it’s entirely too hot where pleasure and pain blur. “N-not yours” you stammer, and he stops. He pulls out your warmth and you whine from loss of pressure. Looking at him, there's no smile, and the irritation on his face makes your heart drop. You're really in for it. 
Without delay, your stomach flies over one of the chair arms, and you hold onto it for dear life. It presses firm on your ribs, and he slants your ass to the air. “You have courage, speaking back to me” he says. He pulls his gloves off and hurls them. They’re lovely, the silken soft hands of a man who hadn't lifted a finger through combat a day in his life. They sink into your sex, and you moan out for him. The other winds back, and you feel the palm hit brutally on your unsuspecting backside. Crack. It echoes in the room, and you almost fly forward. 
“Disrespectful.” Crack. He keeps pumping through it, and tears collect in your lashes. 
“Disobedient.” Crack. There’s blood rushing to your head, and violent smacks make your pussy flutter and ass ripple; his control won’t give you adequate touch.  
“Little.” Crack. Every time he feels you getting there, he pauses. A masochistic pleasure whirls innermost. 
“Brat.” Crack. Both cheeks are a sore fiery color and beginning to welt, but he resumes. You’re drenching his palm, sobbing from prolonged edging and Pantalone laughs. “Pfft, you’re crying? Too embarrassed to beg? Perhaps I’ll give you what you want, if you grovel hard enough, darling.” An incoherent orchestra of please’s mesh with broken moans. “Sir m’sorry. Wan’ it so bad, p-please!” you mumble. There’s no dignity on your lips, no residue of the hero you once were. Drunken ardor floods your short-circuiting brain. 
“Oh, what do you say? You want it? Is that it? I'll let you have it... but only if you say it loud and clear for me” he croons. He winds his fingers in a come-hither gesture that licks your core. 
“Please...I won’t misbehave again!” He spreads your ass apart and watches your hole pucker from lining the brink. 
“I’m not sure I want to give it to you now. It's a lot more enjoyable watching you squirm and beg.” 
“’M yours, sir. Please give it to me. I’ll be s’good, promise!” you mewl. You’re so pathetic, it’s endearing. He simpers and maneuvers impossibly fast while gyrating your clit. “How humiliating. You’ve satisfied me.” Your eyes roll back, and you dissolve in pure euphoria. There’s black dots in your vision, and it doesn’t stop as he starts torturing your overstimulated clit with the pad of his thumb. Your tears only encourage him. You jerk and spasm, but he moves where you move with insistent skill. “T-too m-” 
“Aww, what’s wrong? Isn’t this what you wanted, where are your manners?” Pantalone pulls out and delivers staggering mean swats to your pussy, and you recoil. “Say thank you” he demands. 
“Thank you, sir.” He hums and picks you up in his arms. Before color can return to your numb cells, he lays you on the desk. You watch him pull his shirt up to his pecs with haste and uncover the lean skinny midsection. Unzipping his pants, he unsheathes his leaking thumping erection. Even his dick is pretty, it curves upwards and shades a starving dusty pink past the thin strip of tissue on the underside of his bulbous tip. Composure thinning, a bead of pre come runs down his tip at the sight of provocation sluicing your ass and thighs. His glasses plunge down his neck, body blushed wildly, but he doesn’t care. Pantalone slides between your labia and groans at the sound. Engulfing the tip in awaiting velvet warmth, “You’re so good for me, hm?” he sighs. You embrace him, delicious searing stretch of your walls forming to his cock. Your orgasm builds just from your body accommodating the size. He places your hands on your calves and holds them at your sides. He slips out, and in one swoop, drives into you. His heavy balls smack against your ass as he thrusts frenetically in the gooey grip he’d been waiting for, stalking and spying for. He digs crescent shapes in your waist and uses you to his abundance. The desk base creaks and grinds on abrading wood and obituaries float to the floor with overturned calligraphy ink from the unrelenting momentum. You throw your head back and indulge the carnal lust washing over you both. 
“You’ll never see anyone ever again. Fuck- you’re mine, and mine alone. You’re nothing but a come dump, your purpose is to please me, hah, until I say it’s over” his voice is unexpectedly deprived and weighty with vulgar whimpers. Pantalone eyes your neck and encapsulates it in his slender hand. He clenches tight and releases in sporadic bursts that have you seizing around him. For a split second there’s the image of you—exorbitant pearled collar wrapped around your throat, with “Pantalone” inscribed in bedazzled letters—and he loses it. He swipes your clit rapidly and feeds you deep strokes; you’ll definitely die. You speak, but it’s unintelligible rambling. 
“Use your words” he lilts, squeezing your airflow taut. “C-can I, sir, please?” 
“You’ll do it on my command.” Pantalone thrusts frenetically, you can feel him bucking, twitching and quickly approaching his climax. His hips sputter, chanting some mixture of your name and curses under his breath. “You’re so obedient for me, aren’t you? F-fuck, darling, go ahead. Come on my cock.” You permit yourself to surrender, white noise streams in and time slows as you come down his shaft. A creamy ring forms at the hilt of his slaps. You recite “thank you” through wails with the semblance of a follower at the altar of their savior. Then he grabs your face and goes in for a kiss.  
It’s sloppy and misses half your lip, but its doughy attachment mellows your blissed out head. His lips taste like the bitter excess of green tea, and you crane for a better sample. His tongue does things his fingers couldn’t, and swirls around yours in a passionate bruising waltz. Pantalone breaks away, a string of saliva when he frees himself. “Mm, coming. Gonna claim you everywhere” he whimpers. Sweat on his lustered abdomen, he pumps his tender cock before spurting thick hot ropes across your tits and stomach. He paints your vulva with the rest and plunges the tip in your entry so as to not waste the endless globs of white. He tremors inside you until soft, and when some dribbles out he fingers it back inside.  
Afterwards, Pantalone opens one of the drawers on the desk and takes out an embossed loan dismissal form. You can’t read the finer details through hazy eyesight. “It’s already signed, so don’t worry. I won’t deceive you.” He caresses your face in his normal sing-song attitude. “We depart in the morning.” You don’t have a clue where you’re going or how you’ll get there as you drift unconscious. Once you’re asleep, Pantalone shuffles in a different locked drawer. He twiddles the stunning purple geode in his hand, a crystal lined mineral you gave to him years prior. He looks at you, then the druse, and cackles. 
“Mine. Always.” 
769 notes · View notes
shoyoist · 2 years
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゚+* ꔫ — 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐒 + 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 !!
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content: gn!reader. sfw — fluff. slightly suggestive in shidou's part. featuring: bachira meguru, mikage reo, chigiri hyoma, michael kaiser. some of these hcs were suggested to me by other tumblr users! they are credited separately under each part<3
— . 。˚ ♡ he thinks of these special moments whenever he's feeling down, and it helps him get right back up.
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° 𐐒𐐚 . bachira meguru + painting date!
credit to @katasstrophy for the idea! the bachira family has a little art studio built in their house, owned by bachira's mom. he takes you there one time, and though you'd been doing your best to keep things clean for his mother's sake, the two of you end up making a huge mess.
you're intently dabbing brown and yellow paint on your little canvas, looking back at the mental image you've conjured of your boyfriend sitting in a field of flowers and smiling at you, when you hear shuffling behind you.
"baby, baby," is all bachira says in warning. "look this way!" and you turn around, wide-eyed and inquiring as you finally look away from the canvas on which you've been meticulously painting a picture of your rogueishly adorable boyfriend—
only to be met with a splat of bright pink paint across your face. "m—meguru? what the hell?" it's on your cheek, dangerously close to your mouth that had been open in question to bachira's urgent request for you to turn around, and it's nearly in your eye. "god i could've eaten that shit!"
the sound of bachira's unapologetic giggling fills the quiet studio as you get up and pluck a wad of tissues from the box on the table nearby, wiping your face off with it. while your back is turned, he flicks his paint-sopped brush at you again, and you feel the paint hit the back of your neck. "don't do that!"
you stand up straight and turn your back to your easel, squaring your shoulders and doing your best to protect the painting.
"it's—" bachira's laughing so hard now, he snorts in between his words. "it's even worse now, baby — it's all over your face!" and you know that. because you can feel the paint smear down to your chin as you wipe. oh, you think, he's so fucking cute right now, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkly as he giggles.
but that's not going to stop you from retaliating. meguru, you're about to get it.
his mother chewed him out and made him clean the place up afterwards, but bachira would do it again and again and again, just to see your pretty smile and hear your pretty laugh, your eyes lit up as you tried to stay angry with him while the two of you made a mess of yourselves and the studio once more.
° 𐐒𐐚 . hyoma chigiri + poetry analysis date!
credit to @yakshasslut for the idea! chigiri gives you a book of his favourite love poems to read while he's away, and by the time he comes back home, you're brimming with tender feelings for him and he flusters so sweetly when you express it. ever since, it's been a tradition to share and mull over novels and poems together.
not many of chigiri's friends or teammates are well-versed in poetry or literature in general, but there is one novel of prose that each and every one of them can name and recognize within an instant — and it's a book that you gave your boyfriend as a gift, years ago.
it doesn't have much of you in it — it's a collection of poems that express the joys and pains of long distance love, and the only hint of you in it is the lipstick kiss on the front page, with a "for hyoma, my one and only<3" written on it in your handwriting.
he takes it everywhere. flicks through the pages while he's on the plane, while he's resting in his hotel room, and sometimes even takes it with him to games.
he takes so much care to keep it safe and in good condition, but it's quite worn now— he can't bring himself to shelf it, though. it's his most prized posession, almost.
he reads it and keeps in mind that while he's away, you're reading the new book that he had gifted you before he left, and he smiles to himself, imagining how you underline and draw hearts around your favourite lines and write little pencil notes about how "this is you @ me!"
don't get it wrong, chigiri loves being on the field. he loves the glamour, the adrenaline, the fire of scoring a goal — but at his heart, he's soft. domestic.
he hopes fondly for the day he'll get to lay in bed with you again (he's only going to be away for two weeks. but it feels like two months, or even years, sometimes) and have a cozy little date where you just sip on warm coffee and share sweet cakes while mulling over poems together.
it's comforting. it's home.
he thinks about the worn book of poems that sits on your shelf, back at your place. the one he gave you.
the one you read all the time, leaving new annotations bookmarked for him to find each time he picks the book up for a read.
if he ever actually tired of football, chigiri thinks he might just become a poet. for you.
° 𐐒𐐚 . mikage reo + picnic date at the beach!
credit to anonymous! reo is a rich man, and he's so used to fancy dinner dates, luxury trips, first class service, all that. so when you take him on a cute little beach date, getting him to help you cut sandwiches and bake brownies and cookies earlier in the day, it was a new experience for him. and he loves it.
“reo, what about here?” you ask, turning around to look at him as you hop in your cute little sandals on the sand. he's carrying the picnic basket and you have the blanket folded under your arms — and he's been following you across the pretty beach for about fifteen minutes now.
though you ask him if he likes the spot, he knows from the look in your eyes that you actually like this place, and it's nice! the sand is soft and there's not a lot of rocks or seaweed under foot, the shore is a short walk away, and the sunset spills so pretty onto your skin and into your eyes.
he's almost lost in the sight — but when you call his name again, sounding a little concerned as you ask, “reo? you okay?” he snaps out of it and gives you one of his signature, wide and adorable grins. “yeah! here is fine, baby.”
he doesn't know but even his eyes are lit up, the violet of them beautiful and tinted gold in the light of the setting sun, and you can't help but cup his face and kiss him as he puts the basket down and sits on the blanket beside you.
“isn't this fun?” you giggle against his lips, and he hums in agreement, taking your waist in his hands and pulling you in for another kiss. the evening has just started, but he already knows that he'll remember this moment fondly, forever. “mhm, it is fun.”
“you sure?” you ask, tracing his cheek with your thumb, and it's almost a softer, warmer feeling than that of the sun kissing his face. “it's not your usual scene, i know. we can always go to a—”
”no,” reo cuts you off, taking your hand. the smile he gives you is prettier, brighter than any he's ever given you before. it takes your breath away. “it's not my usual scene, yeah.” he chuckles. “in fact, i've never had a picnic on the beach in my life until now. but it's... nice. i love it.”
he says it so softly, and it's rare, coming from your bubbly, bright and ever-so-forward lover. and that's how you know he's telling you the truth.
“alright then.” you kiss his cheek, pulling away and sitting back, dragging the basket closer so you can take the food out. it's just a little kiss, the same as any other kiss you've given his cheek — but somehow, it holds a different sort of warmth, and it comforts him. makes him feel so softly, gently beloved.
and he swears he'll hold this warmth to his cheek, to his chest, to his heart — forever.
° 𐐒𐐚 . michael kaiser + homemade spa date!
credit to anonymous! off days with kaiser are the nicest spent indoors. you go on outdoor dates (and on dates overseas) so often, that it's a nice change to stay at home once in a while and spend some sweet, domestic time with him instead.
“mikka,” your tone is scolding as you cradle his face in your palms, stopping him from wiggling around as you try to stay balanced in his lap. “can you stop moving? the serum is getting in your hair!”
kaiser laughs, the lift of his lips making him look all the more prettier, and hence all the more fucking distracting, as you try to wipe the residual bits of the face mask you'd just peeled off your boyfriend's face, replacing the thick, opaque cleanser with softly translucent moisturizer.
he taps your palmful of moisturizer with an index finger, and with a quick move of the digit he swipes the blob on your nose, making you flinch back and blink in surprise.
“mikka!”
ah, there it is. mission successful. kaiser almost wishes he could go to sleep forever and in his dreams, listen to you calling him by that sweet little petname for the rest of his life. almost.
because he wishes more than that to kiss you all the time. like right now. he leans forward, the smile stretching his mouth giving away his intention to you, but not in time for you to escape. he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in, kissing you with soft, sweet and swollen lips that you'd just finished exfoliating with sugar and honey.
“baby,” your eyebrows furrow, but you still kiss him back and it makes him chuckle because oh, for all the fuss you make and all the scowling you do, you love him so. “we'll never get to the manipedi by movie time at this rate.”
“movie time can wait, princess,” he sighs against your lips. “all i want right now is to watch you, anyway.”
and his words are romantic, suggestive, and they'd bring a blush to your cheeks for sure — if he hadn't accidentally tipped you off balance in that second.
“mikka!—” you yelp (to his delight) as he grabs you and tries to steady you — but even as he saves you, your hand reflexively flails upwards to curl around his arm for support.
and with a smack, the moisturizer is all over his bicep instead of lathered evenly across his face as it should be.
the upset on your face is apparent, but kaiser only grins expectantly as he grips your waist, adjusts your position in his lap again, waiting.
and you don't disappoint. “look what you've done! mikka!”
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hii! here's my other piece from the zine Sing It Like The Kids That Are Mean To You (created by @thrashbeatles and laid out by @birdloaf, get your physical copy here (when its in stock) and your digital copy here)
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Pete Wentz is, in many ways, the driving force behind Fall Out Boy, and he is a biracial black man. It is no surprise, then, that blackness is ever-present within the band’s art, through genre, through lyrics, through politics. Let’s talk about how race colours their work.
            To start, black genre influences are scattered throughout the band’s discography. The album art of Take This to Your Grave is an homage to John Coltrane’s iconic album Blue Train. Infinity on High is filled to the brim with funk, soul and R&B influences on songs like I’m Like a Lawyer with the Way I’m Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) and This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race. American Beauty/American Psycho was an experiment in emulating mixtape culture, filled with samples and electronic beats, and getting its own remix album, Make America Psycho Again. M A  N   I    A drew its influence from dancehall and reggae, especially on Sunshine Riptide and HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T. They haven’t been shy about incorporating black genres into their work, and in fact, it seems to be a staple for them.
            Additionally, Pete Wentz’s lyricism in and of itself is in fact heavily influenced by black art, and one could argue it is quintessentially the work of a black poet. In his lyrics are strategic plays on words, inversions and remixes of classic phrases, and an endless stream of cultural references, all akin to the wit and flow of a rapper. Think lines like “I’m a painter and I’m drawing a blank,” or “You take the full, full truth and you pour some out.” Indeed, in his words you’ll even find braggadocio, a staple in hip hop, though his comes with a helping of self-deprecation, like in the line “Signing off, I’m alright in bed but I’m better with a pen/The kid was alright then it went to his head.” This is arguably a feature which endears so many people to his work, and it is the one which shows his blackness most evidently.
            Finally, while Fall Out Boy itself is not an overtly political act, the band has at times used their music to espouse black politics. In You’re Crashing, But You’re No Wave, the lyrics tell the story of Fred Hampton Jr’s conviction for aggravated arson following the 1992 LA riots protesting the acquittal of the police officers who murdered Rodney King. The song Novocaine also deals with black politics, being inspired by the murder of Trayvon Martin and primarily about the corruption of and threat posed by the police to black youth.
            The core idea behind Fall Out Boy is to make music “for the kids who feel like they don’t fit in anywhere”. When that sentiment is espoused by a man who grew up as part of the only black family in his neighbourhood, it gains a whole new meaning. Fall Out Boy is, in a very real way, for niggas.
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shadesoflsk · 7 months
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Okay but imagine Leon having a hispanic/latino s/o? Like him being introduced to their family at parties and having to memorize all the cousins, him falling in love with all the aspects of their culture. Also i feel like he would love gustavo cerati???? Coming from a latina (boricua y dominicana) this has me kicking my feet and giggling!! Ly 💗!! - 🐚
Hi! This is the first time someone claimed an emoji! I feel so excited, hehe.
And I just noticed I often reply to these asks with just my thoughts not knowing if any of you want a whole fic 😭 If you want one let me know ‘cause I'm dense.
Regarding Gustavo Cerati… you're so real 🐚 anon. In fact, I'm preparing a post which is basically hispanic music I think Leon would like. And let me tell you, there are A LOT OF Cerati's songs. If you guys want to share your thoughts/suggest some artists or songs you're welcome to do so. 🙏🏻
Anyway, I could definitely see Leon being overjoyed dating someone hispanic/latino.
The term itself is really broad, so I'm going to leave the details of the culture as ambiguous as I can so everyone can imagine their own.
leon kennedy x gn reader (reader speaks spanish)
Leon himself isn't someone who actually got to spend his childhood and younger years next to a family, or at least a loving one. So, when he met you, he slowly discovered your upbringing and how beautiful your culture was.
It started with little things. When you first mentioned Leon where you come from, he'd search for one thing he really enjoys—music! He fully believes art is the door to a culture, so there's nothing better than getting to know your country by its artists and songs.
He'd need to translate them, though. He barely knows how to say hello in another language. But then again, he tries his best to actually engage in your culture and show genuine interest.
While he navigates through the songs, typical dances, and festivities, the next step is obvious. As your relationship gets more serious, you'd tell him that your family wants to meet him. He isn't scared, not all. He's actually really excited at the prospect of meeting your relatives and taking such a serious step with you.
However, he is nervous about something.You had previously told him that your family was big, and while it didn't bother him, he isn't confident about his ability to remember names.
Poor boy would be the target of your family's teasing. As soon as he enters your home, some of your relatives would give him a pat on his back, seeing how nervous he is. The whole experience would be overwhelming but in a good way.
You'd introduce him to every family member. He'd say his name as best as he could (He asked you to teach him a bit of Spanish, to at least impress some of your relatives).
Very basic and broken Spanish: “Hola yo me llamo Leon, ¿Cómo estás tú?” Baby is trying his best, and everyone could see how much respect he holds for their culture and language.
He's really respectful in every aspect you could think of. When the little mingling comes to an end and hunger starts to brim in each one of your relatives, Leon would be delighted to try everything.
As soon as he starts eating, there are two outcomes. A) He really likes the food. B) He doesn't like it. For the first scenario, he'd devour the plate. Having something prepared with so much seasoning and love was something foreign to him. He'd whisper and ask you to tell your mom if he could fetch himself another serving. He's too shy for his own good.
For the latter, he'd still remain as respectful as he could. It's okay not to like certain things, and while he tries to finish his plate your family would joke about how he couldn’t handle the spice (even if it wasn't spicy in the first place.)
His favorite activity to do with your family is to see your childhood photo album. They would pull out embarrassing photos of yourself, but he'd think you look lovely. In moments like these, he gets to bond with your family even more, feeling himself blending with them and being part of a family he always longed for.
Overall, Leon would find himself falling in love with you and your culture. No matter how different it's from his own upbringing, he'd be honored to share moments getting to know everything about your country.
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wroteclassicaly · 3 months
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Warnings: Mentions anxiety, hormones, sad situations, hurt/comfort, mentions smut, and fluff.
~*~
“You worryin’ about somethin’ again?” His gruff voice rouses you from your languid daydreams.
When you take notice of the man at your side, hand propped against his cheek, normal faux bravado on standby — your anxieties ease a little. He’s the only one that can do this for you, and it brims him full of feelings he’s been okay to accept lately, though, they remain unspoken between the two of you. You shrug a shoulder as his arm elongates, dropping a calloused trigger finger to ripple a series of touches across your shoulder and collar bone. You’re looking dazed, thoughts on impasse. He lifts up to scoot a little closer, because you won’t ask yet, but he knows you, and he is all too aware that you need him.
And god, do you ever. The nights when air is impossible, that his mouth can provide you with what oxygen cannot. How his hands can embrace you to bulldoze your physical reactions away. His mossy eyes glistening beneath fluttering lashes.
He sheds his khaki, all of the things that give him his shell, skin to skin with you. His bed, it always smells like you now. And his bedroom, it’s just a room, one that’s become littered with various gifts to him or items you have brought from your own place, including several photos of trips you managed to get him to go on with you. That momentous night at the cabin in West Virginia. Then there’s stuff he’s left at your place — clothes, his art set, a few weapons, some records, and more pictures of that time he took you riding in the fields.
His gentle is reserved for you. Just as it is in this moment. He waits patiently until you arrive at the conclusion of your words. You look up at him, his normal slicked back hair in chocolate strands of disarray. Every freckle, every mole — it causes you to speak from your heart, briefly off topic. “You’re so beautiful.”
He tilts his head, swallowing against that kiss littered jugular. He isn’t used to hearing this, especially from someone he was inside of not even ten minutes ago, a discarded, unopened condom at the foot of the bed. He’s just a regular guy, you’re just a regular girl. No guns, no rumors, no rules, no shouting, no violence, no parents. He can be who he wants to be with you, a different man that he’s finding he enjoys spending solo time with.
“You gonna tell me what’s buggin’ your noggin’, sweet girl?” His accent is thick, making you curl into his hairy chest, running your fingers through the drying perspiration, pulling on the chain.
“How much time have you got?”
“I’ve got unlimited time for you.” Is his automatic answer.
“Everything is just… a lot. I don’t know how to explain it to you. I feel…”
“Overwhelmed?” He can’t hide the slight distress, always worrying this bubble will pop and you’ll run away from him. No one ever stays.
You can sense it immediately, shaking your head. “Overwhelmed in my brain. Hormones and other shit. You’re the only thing that makes sense to me right now.”
“Would explain why you were climbin’ all over me the second that you got here.” That gets you to laugh. But his chest is on the verge of exploding with this feeling. The one that he’s too afraid to say yet, that he’s never said.
“I feel the safest when I’m with you. Like, all the bad shit can be dealt with, as long as you’re here.” You let it out, flicking his chain with your fingers, the confession what you can muster. And fuck, he gets it, he really fucking gets it.
You’ve replaced a majority of his nightmares, given him things to look forward to, confidence that is no longer misplaced, and he has to turn with a crinkling of his nose, sniffling slightly. He’s emotional. You know he doesn’t like to show, even around you, so you simple link your arms around his neck and tug him with you beneath the quilt — your breasts smashed into his chest. Your nose bridge nudes his own, lips passing him a feather light graze.
You whisper, “Gator Tillman, thank you for being my home.”
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fantasticsandwich · 1 month
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yandere influencer x fem! reader (pt 7)
The art studio’s door chimed as you, Rian, and Blaise stepped through, their shadows merging with the eclectic hues that bathed the interior. Canvases stood around the room, each blank face awaiting the touch of inspiration. The scent of oil paint hung thick in the air.
“This place has got a nice vibe, doesn’t it?” Rian's voice, soft and lilting, cut through the quietude of the studio. His eyes sparkled with a childlike excitement that was contagious. “So cool that you got the owner to let us have the place to ourselves. We’ve been here before, with Connor, but it was for a class and tapas.”
Blaise shrugged, snatching a waxy apron off a peg. Draping it over himself, he quickly tied it, cinching his waist. “It’s just as fun when others are around.”
“Yeah, no thanks. I’d rather not embarrass myself again. Everyone who saw my art said it looked like one of those Chinese memes.”
“Then I can’t wait to see what hellish creation you dredge forth today.”
You forced a smile, nodding along to their enthusiasm. You should have been brimming with anticipation, eager to let your emotions spill onto the canvas in a riot of color, but your fingers instinctively sought the hem of your shirt, tugging at the fabric in uneven rhythms. The voices of your friends became muffled, as if you were underwater, their excitement drifting away from your reach. You glanced around the studio, feeling oddly detached from the vibrant scene unfolding before you.
“Y/N? You alright?” Rian’s concern laced his words, drawing you back to the surface. “You haven’t said a word,”
Catchphrase of the century, you scowled.
“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” you stammered, pushing your glasses back up. “Just thinking about... light composition and stuff.” Needless to say, you weren't an arts major, and within good reason.
“Composition, huh?” Blaise remarked, one eyebrow arching skeptically. He leaned against a nearby easel, crossing his arms as he studied you. “It’s only for fun. Don’t overthink it. Let the brush do the talking.”
You nodded, though your mind was elsewhere. You pulled out your phone, a nervous habit, thumbing through messages that didn't require a response. Each vibration against your palm was a hopeful pang, but his name never lit up the screen.
“Come on,” Rian coaxed gently, touching your arm with a warmth that contrasted sharply with the coolness exuded by Blaise. “Let’s start painting. It'll take your mind off things.”
“Sure. Yeah, it’ll be a good distraction.” You agreed, pocketing the device.
You followed Rian’s encouraging lead, picking up a brush with a hand that trembled slightly. As you dipped the bristles into the paint, you hoped the colors would be kind enough to drown out the noise in your head, to silence the persistent whisper of Cillian's absence.
The sun's gentle warmth filled the art studio, its rays spilling across the room and casting a soft glow over the blank canvases that awaited the trio's touch.
Blaise's suggestion hung in the air, delicate yet decisive. “Let’s paint each other. Y/N, let me have you.”
“H-huh?”
“I paint you, and you paint Rian. Rian gets me.”
You hesitated, fingers tightening around the wooden handle of your brush. You felt exposed under the weight of his gaze. The idea of being observed, of being immortalized. Portraits were more intimate than photos.
"Okay," you acquiesced with a small nod. You settled yourself onto the stool, perching on the edge as if ready to flee at any moment.. Your hands lay folded in your lap, one thumb rubbing over the other in a rhythmless caress.
Blaise watched you for a moment, his pale eyes tracing the lines of your face, the slope of your nose, the curve of your chin. In his gaze, there were no traces of judgment, only the silent gathering of details, like a poet collecting words for his verses. He picked up his brush, and you found yourself holding your breath as he approached the canvas.
The first stroke of color seemed to break a spell, and you released a shaky exhale. Blaise worked methodically, the bristles of his brush whispering against the stretched linen. There was a concentration to his movements, a focus that belied the icy aura he often wore like a cloak. His dark hair fell forward, casting shadows over his features that you tried to memorize, to recall later when the silence between them would stretch too thin.
You could hear the soft scuff of Rian moving about the space, the occasional clink of glass as he mixed his paints, but it was Blaise’s presence that consumed your attention. With every mark he made, you felt a strange sense of unfolding, as though he was peeling back the layers of self-consciousness that clung to you like the ill-fitted clothes you often wore.
“Stay still,” Blaise murmured, almost absently, and you realized you had been fidgeting. The words should have felt like a command, but they came out as nothing more than a gentle reminder, a tether to keep you grounded in the moment.
“Sorry,” you whispered, though you weren’t sure what you were apologizing for—the movement, the anxiety that buzzed beneath your skin, or the fact that Cillian's ghost lingered in your thoughts, an unwelcome specter.
“Nothing to be sorry for,” he replied without looking up. As his brushstrokes continued to shape your likeness, you allowed yourself to be drawn into the slow rhythm of his work, the practiced ease which he captured you.
As the gentle scrape of Blaise’s brush against canvas faded into a soft rhythm, Rian picked up his own palette with an eagerness that seemed to push away the heavy silence of the studio. You watched from the corner of your eye as he studied Blaise, his brows knitting together in concentration. The delicate lines of Rui's fingers moved with a surprising grace, coaxing shapes and shadows onto the stark white canvas before him. He worked quickly, yet with precision.
“Try to get my good side, if you can find one,” said Blaise.
Rian’s laugh was a light sound, almost musical. “Every side is your good side.” he replied, the warmth in his tone wrapping around the chill of Blaise's humor. He dipped his brush into a pool of blue, the same icy shade as Blaise's distant gaze. With each stroke, he added depth to the painting, the cool colors a stark contrast to the warmth that perpetually emanated from Rian himself.
You turned back to your own canvas, where Rian's image awaited your hand. You willed your thoughts away from Cillian and the tightness in your chest, focusing instead on the gentle curve of Rian's lips, the way his hair fell across his forehead. There was a kindness etched into the lines of his face, a tender-hearted openness that you yearned to translate into your art.
Your brush danced lightly over the canvas, tracing the contours of Rian's cheeks, the softness of his eyes that always seemed to offer comfort, even when he couldn't find the words. As you painted, your phone buzzed incessantly on the table beside you, silent messages piling up.
“You’re making me look too nice,” Rian chided gently, peering over at your progress.
“Maybe because you’re too nice,” you countered with a small smile, though it didn't quite reach your eyes.
“Or maybe you see the best in people,” Rian suggested, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary—a silent acknowledgment of the burdens you carried in your quest to please.
“Sure, let’s go with that.”
The last brushstroke fell, a gentle whisper against the canvas, and Rian set down his paintbrush with an air of finality.
“Done,” he announced, his voice a mix of pride and trepidation. The room, once filled with the soft shuffling of feet and the swish of brushes, settled into anticipatory silence.
You stepped back from you own easel to join Blaise, who was already waiting with a curious tilt to his head. Together, they moved towards Rian’s workspace, where his painting stood covered by a sheet of thin muslin, like a secret waiting to be unveiled.
“Let’s see then,” Blaise said, a smile playing on his lips. Rian hesitated for a heartbeat before pulling the fabric away with a flourish that felt more dramatic than he intended.
Laughter erupted almost immediately, echoing off the high ceilings of the art studio. The portrait was unmistakably Blaise, but with an exaggerated scowl etching his brows and eyes that sparkled with a mischievous glint not typically found in their usual cool depths.
“Is this how I look to you?” Blaise teased, though his voice betrayed a hint of amusement.
Rian’s cheeks colored, a soft bloom of pink spreading across his fair skin. He shuffled on his feet, looking down at the caricature he had created. “I—I thought a little humor might be nice.”
No, you just can’t paint, you sighed.
“It’s perfect,” you said, your laughter subsiding into a warm chuckle. You reached out to squeeze his arm reassuringly, trying to quell the small storm of insecurity you saw brewing behind his eyes. “His nose is a little wonky, so it’s fairly accurate.”
The tension eased from Rian’s shoulders as his friends' affectionate ribbing washed over him. He smiled, a genuine and heartwarming expression that made the earlier disquietude fade. It was in moments like these that he could forget the nagging fears of inadequacy, the pressures that often weighed heavy on his tender heart.
“Let’s snap a pic,” Blaise suggested, his voice unexpectedly light as he pulled out his phone, a device that often lay forgotten in the depths of his pocket. His usual icy facade melted into a rare, soft smile that brightened the dim studio.
You nodded, and together with Rian, they huddled close, their painted canvases cradled in their arms. The camera clicked, immortalizing their lopsided grins and awkward posture. You were glad neither of them requested a redo of the picture.
“Look at us," Rian murmured, his gaze lingering on the digital image, a stark contrast to the raw emotion captured in paint. “Who would’ve thought none of us could pose for a picture?”
“Speak for yourself. I’m photogenic,” Blaise quipped, though the twinkle in his eye belied his sarcastic tone. Moving toward the exit, he held the door open, gesturing for you to go first.
“Thanks for bringing me out,” you quietly said. “Between studying and all the drama, I really needed the distraction.”
Stepping out into the waning daylight, the air held a crisp promise of the evening to come. They lingered on the sidewalk, reluctant to part ways just yet.
“What are we thinking? Takeaway or my place?” Blaise asked, tilting his head towards the street lined with twinkling restaurant signs. “I could do with a change from my own cooking.”
“Your cooking has more character than most things I’ve eaten out here," you replied, though your stomach protested with a quiet growl, betraying your desire for something different—a meal without the bitter aftertaste of solitude.
“I do hope that’s a compliment.”
Rian glanced between them. His eyes, wide in realization, reflected the fading sunset. “Maybe your place? It’s cozier, and we can hear some of your music.”
“Escape it is,” Blaise decided, the decision lifting an invisible weight off their shoulders.
Just as he turned away and began walking, a shadow loomed, briefly eclipsing the glow from a nearby streetlamp as a figure approached. Your heart hitched, a premonition prickling under your skin like static before a storm.
It was a young man, his leather jacket creaking softly with each step. His dark hair hung over his eyes in a fringe. His expression was an unreadable mask that did little to hide the tension in his jaw.
Squinting at him, you stifled a gasp. “Connor? What are you doing here?”
“Just running some errands in the area.” He said, oddly cheerful. As if to prove his point, he waved around a humorously large croissant. The sleeve crinkled as he waved, shedding crumbs. “But while you’re here, what's this I hear about you and Cillian?"
“Odd seeing you around.”
“Errands, like I said. We’re having Italian tonight.”
You quirked a brow. “Baguettes aren’t—”
“Try telling Cillian that.”
The words hung in the air, a challenge wrapped in concern. You felt the eyes of Rian and Blaise on you, a silent plea to ignore him and not engage. Nevertheless, you drew in a deep breath and sighed.
“Right,” you dryly said, brushing it off. “And about your cousin… He’s being insufferable and needs to apologize to Rian,” you responded, voice firmer than you felt. “Only then will I consider speaking to him.”
Connor’s eyes flickered with something akin to surprise, a crack in his bad-boy facade revealing the boy who still sought approval, still clung to the safety of being Cillian's cousin. His phone vibrated in his pocket, a reminder of the modern world's persistent intrusion, but he ignored it, his gaze locked on your determined stance.
“Y/N,” he started again, but you cut him off, unwilling to be swayed by sympathy or guilt.
“I’m really not mad.” Your words tumbled out, echoing the countless conversations you’d had in your head. With the cooling evening air brushing against your skin, you felt the weight of his judgment pressing back. You feared it. You scorned it, but you wouldn’t suffer needlessly from it. “He just needs to know what he did wrong.”
“And what was that?” asked Connor, hopeful.
“The fuck if anyone knows.” Blaise interjected. Pushing past, his shoulder knocked against Connor’s. “C’mon, Y/N. Let’s not spoil the evening.”
You nodded, grateful for the escape. As they turned to leave, you couldn't help but glance back at Connor, whose slumped shoulders spoke volumes as he watched them walk away, his conflicted loyalties clear even in the dim light of the city's restless pulse.
Connor’s sigh hung heavy in the street-lit dusk, intermingling with the city's symphony of honks and chatter. “It’s just… I’m stuck between you guys,” he muttered, a hint of vulnerability seeping through his usually assertive tone. A frown creased his youthful face, casting shadows that flickered like the uncertainties playing across his thoughts. “Cillian is family, but you’re a good friend, and I don’t know who to stand by.”
Blaise stepped forward, the pale glow from the studio windows illuminating his sharp features. His icy aura felt almost tangible, a frosty shield against the chaos of emotions swirling around them.
“Look, maybe I’m overstepping,” he began, somewhat hesitant, “but why are you acting so spineless? There’s no side to pick, only a friend to support. You’ve known her longer than I have, but you can’t see how harmful Cillian’s accusations were? Maybe you’d see that if your head weren’t so far up his ass.” Blaise said, his voice low and steady. Turning away with a sense of finality, he reached out, his fingers brushing against your arm. “How about we head back to my place? My housemates and I were planning a casual hangout.”
His touch was comforting, a calm anchor in the storm of your thoughts. You nodded, feeling the tremble in your limbs settle as you focused on Blaise's offer.
“Sounds good,” you murmured, numbly following along.
“Great,” Blaise’s lips curled into a half-smile, his eyes reflecting a glint of mischief. “You and Rian have got to try my barbeque. I’m doing everything from scratch. I can’t get the sauce right, but hopefully, your input will help.”
“What would either of us know about barbeque?”
“Dunno. Couldn’t be any less than me, though.”
From a few steps away, Connor’s shoulders slumped as he watched the exchange. With another deep exhale that seemed to surrender all his protests, he pulled out his phone. His fingers tapped against the screen, sending a message into the void.
a/n: not much Cillian this chapter but you know he can't stay away for long. next chapter's a good one i promise ^^
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legitalicat · 5 months
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Appalachian Sihtric - NSFW Blurb
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Based on this tiktok!
Collection masterlist here!
Summary: What's the point of going away except to come back to play?
CW: dirty talk, masturbation, language, p in v sex, property damage, temporary long distance, blue collar man
Pairings: Appalachian!Sihtric Kjartansson x you
Sihtric, about a year into your marriage, decided he was going to work a summer on an oil field while his shop was being renovated. And as such, he was away from you for most of that time. He had to travel states away from. That was okay, really, because you knew he needed this. He needed to prove to himself that he could do whatever it took to support his wife.
You weren't surprised, necessarily, when he started sending you videos of him on the job. But it did surprise you how much you loved them. You loved them enough to not even mind when he later started making tiktoks for his work. The women commenting and thirsting over him didn't even make you flinch.
You never had anything to worry about. The man was as loyal as a dog and called you whining whenever he couldn't make himself cum, begging for you to talk him through it.
Though, if you were honest, you were just as bad. Watching him work on anything had always made you melt. And the forced distance between you did nothing to make you feel any less need for him. It only drove you crazier, until eventually you would put his shirt on and fuck your fingers while on the phone with him.
Much as you were tonight.
"Such a good girl, touching yourself for me," he said over the phone. "Fuck, baby, can practically feel you. Bet you're so fucking tight right now."
"Mph," you moaned out, your fingers buried deep in you.
You were eagerly pumping your own fingers in and out of yourself, brushing constantly over the rough spot in your cunt, bringing you to the edge already. Your fingers were nothing compared to Sihtric, though. Any part of him could give you infinitely more pleasure. Whether you were impaled on his cock or riding his thigh, you never knew a moment of anything but the purest pleasure because of him.
"Need my huge cock, don't you babygirl? Fill you up to the brim and fuck you over and over again until you can't take anymore," he said breathily into the phone.
For a moment, nothing reached your ears but the sound of his voice. Then there was a creak in the floorboard at the foot of your bed. Your eyes, which had previously been shut to drown out anything but him, flew open.
Sihtric stood there, phone in one hand and your favorite flowers in the other. He was staring at you like you were a work of art. Your husband home at last.
He was a bit more tanned than when he had left, his muscles having grown too. All of this you and watched through his videos and video calls. To have him in front of you was something else entirely.
Neither of you spoke as he hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed somewhere. You watched eagerly as he gingerly sat the flowers down on the dresser and ripped his shirt off his body. Actually ripped it. Grabbed it at the neckline and pulled it until the fabric tore and fell to the floor.
You removed your fingers from yourself just before he got on the bed. Sihtric hovered over you and began kissing your neck, his hands trailing over your thighs.
"So sorry I haven't been able to take care of my girl properly," he muttered, nipping at your skin. You shivered as he did so, pussy clenching at his word.
"Fuck me," you managed to say out as you desperately began trying to grab at his belt and undo it.
He chuckled and playfully swatted your hands away before undoing his belt and his pants with just one hand. The whine escaped you before you could stop it.
He didn't make you wait. Once his pants were off and forgotten about, he lined himself up with your entrance. You let out a deep breath you didn't even realize you were holding when he began to push into you. His cock was long and thick, stretching you to the brink. There was a burning feeling that hovered between pleasure and pain since it had been so long, but you couldn't pretend as though you didn't love it.
"Fuck, baby, what a good little wife I have," he whispered to you as he looked down to watch his cock sink into you. "Almost can't stop myself, darlin'."
"Then don't," you whispered, leaning up just enough to nip at his throat.
His hand found yours, interlocking your fingers, before he pushed himself completely into you with a growl. With his free hand, he groped at one of your breasts over his shirt you still wore.
"Should fuck you wearing my clothes more," he said quietly.
He pulled out before immediately thrusting back into you. Sihtric did this repeatedly, sure to join your hips to his. His movements were so hard and deep the entire bed moved, bedframe hitting the wall. You had already been so close.
The sounds of the bed moving, his growls of ecstasy, his heavy balls slapping against your ass all worked together with the way his cock rubbed against that spongy little spot. Already, you were moaning his name and warning of your cumming orgasm. The pressure behind your navel as the invisible band of pleasure built more tension. Your free hand buried itself in his hair.
"Fuck yes, pretty girl. Keep fucking squeezing around me, fuck," he muttered, breathing ragged already. "Need you so bad, need to fucking cum in you."
Your leg wrapped around his waist as his thrusts picked up in speed, allowing somehow for deeper entry into you. Your orgasm took you almost by surprise, the band snapping and a heat flooding over your body.
He cried out your name, stilling his hips and pushing himself balls deep into you. You could both feel the way his cock throbbed while rope after rope of thick cum painted your walls. He was panting, groaning, repeating your name as though you were a goddess that he was praying to.
You were shaking when he pulled himself from you. He laid beside you and held you close, both of you breathing heavy still. Instinctually, you turned to him, burying your face in his neck.
"On the downside, I think the wall now has bedpost shaped dents," he muttered, looking at the wall quickly.
"But you're home. That's all that matters," you whispered.
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Taglist: @foxyanon @zaldritzosrose (message me or comment to be added to the taglist!)
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ammstify · 6 months
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Late night thoughts but, y'know what I really love in media? Imperfect relationships.
And no I don't mean relationships where they argue a lot or don't completely click together.
One of the tropes that I happen to dislike is the idea of people in love being each others "perfect half", that "complete each other" and "fill the gaps within them" (no innuendo intended).
Sure its sweet, heart warming, and gives off a sense of hope but, realistically, nobody truly completes someone!
Which is how I came up with my own little term for my favorite relationships; Kintsugi relationships.
For those who don't know, kintsugi, also known as kintsukuro, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery using gold, silver, or platinum dust! This creates a rather beautiful but imperfect appearance to the pottery, showing the lines of breakage while holding it together, but never truly healing it all the way.
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One of my favorite current ships, Vashwood (aka Vash the Stampede and Nicholas D. Wolfwood from the Trigun franchise) reflect this type of relationship to me!
Both Vash and Wolfwood suffer from their own individual traumas, being filled to the brim with metaphorical and physical scars that eat away at them.
Vash struggles with hundreds of years worth of trauma, reflected upon his whole body after trying to save countless lives from death and violence. Some caused by bandits, some caused by his own brother, and some... Caused by him.
He struggles with nightmares and PTSD, remembering the incidents and death that was all his own fault, mourning the unknown lives that he had taken by accident during both the fall of SEEDS, the July incident, and the destruction of the moon. He relives it, and makes it his whole purpose to avoid those incidents from ever happening again.
And he suffers in silence, hiding behind a fake smile, under a red damaged duster and protective armor, with nobody truly knowing what goes through his head as he lives day by day, trying to provide some hope to the world.
Wolfwood also struggles with quite a lot of trauma, feeling the leftover scars deep within his bones, even though nary are visible upon his flesh. He remembers each bullet wound, each knife stabbing, each bit of blood that was shed before he drank a potion, forcing him back to life to continue fighting.
He also remembers the torturous abuse he went through to become a member of the Eye of Michael, to become their Punisher, forcing his body to age and grow beyond its means and become subhuman.
And even though he denies it, he remembers all the death he has caused too. All the bandits he's fought, all the targets he's followed, all to appease a faceless man to protect his childhood home at the orphanage. He drinks and smokes the pain away, never truly opening up to people while acting like a saintly priest, knowing how much pain he's caused for a cause he didn't believe in.
At least.... Until they met, and left together to search for Knives. And slowly but surely, unlike any other person they met, began to unravel and slowly heal each others open wounds.
The two of them find comfort in each others trauma, their battle scars, their imperfectness, spending every moment as they travel No Man's Land together. The bicker, they fight, they laugh, they smile, they rest and share tears. But they never try to fix each other, only bide their time and ignore their own pain, while finding a purpose in life to live and fight.
They are each others kintsugi, the gold that holds them together, that doesn't completely heal the countless imperfections, wounds, and trauma. But they don't care, because they'd rather share each others tomorrows and feel human for once, even for but a moment in each others presence...
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The same applies to a pair of ocs my friend and I have developed for quite some time, with the two ironically mirroring Vashwood in terms of relationship! They both struggle with their own individual traumas, and while they can't completely heal the metaphorical and physical scars, they can mend and soothe the leftover wounds.
They both suffer in silence in their own ways, but find comfort as they unravel each others hidden scars. They're imperfect, they're damaged, they go through highs and lows... but the fact that they have someone to fill part of those gaps with love and comfort makes it all worth it.
And that my friends, is the key to a kintsugi relationship; Embracing and loving imperfection, and healing wounds but never getting rid of them
Also another really cool and similar example that my friend brought up was the Sashiko sewing technique, which like Kintsugi, is focused upon repairing damage on a piece of fabric by creating unique stitches!
To quote from them, “Nothing is perfect nor does it last forever but there is beauty it’s the wounds and cracks that it bears. Showing them healed and not fixed brings a humanness to things that otherwise wouldn’t have it.”
And man...
If that doesn't represent Vashwood's whole relationship in their story, I don't know what does!
They also mentioned, "Something born out of necessity but bringing beauty to it anyway, really does scream Vashwood," which seeing by this quote is absolutely true!
Anyway, for anyone who reads this, thank you for taking the time to do so, and have a good night/day!! Maybe in the future I'll discuss some more fun things with Trigun, my ocs, or maybe another fandom of a certain fantastical variety? 👀
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tomhiddleston · 1 year
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One More Tomorrow (Billy Taylor x Fem!Reader) - Chapter II.
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CHAPTER I.
Summary: Billy's crush returns to The Halcyon for her seventeenth birthday and the two of them enjoy more chances to grow closer.
Pairing: Billy Taylor x Fem!Reader (third person)
TW: so much fluff, blink and you miss it Billy having some impure thoughts, mention of death of a parent, Billy being Billy again
Word Count: 5.5k+
A/N: I love Billy Taylor so much that I want to scream, explode out of my body, and ascend to the moon. That's the author's note. Also, thanks again to @valeskafics for giving this a read-through for me! c:
Disclaimer: I do not own any The Halcyon characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are never required but are always appreciated!
Art deco dividers by @saradika
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It is the longest summer of Billy’s life, waiting for the months to tick by and November to finally arrive. Every day is just another shift. The same old thing day in and day out. Now and then, Billy catches himself staring wistfully at the marble staircase as though he will see her coming down to have lunch with her father or pop out for a bit of shopping. He even starts dreaming about her. About taking her dancing or going on a drive through the country. One morning he wakes up blushing after dreaming about her in a wedding dress, walking down the aisle toward him in a church filled to the brim with white roses. 
Does she dream about him, too?
The stiflingly hot summer months wane on and Billy continually bothers Mr. Garland about the Greenes’ return visit to The Halcyon. Every time he asks, the answer is the same: there has been no request yet about any birthday party, whether for Mr. Greene or his daughter. Billy starts to wonder if she won’t return in the fall. If, maybe, she’s found a beau in Birmingham - one she would rather celebrate her birthday with. One her father might actually approve of.
He starts to mope around The Halcyon when August turns into September with still no word, enough that even Mr. Garland begins to notice. His mum, Peggy, has seen the most of his gloomy mood out of anyone, what with having to watch him drag his feet around their house every morning and night. “It’s about that girl again,” she tells Mr. Garland and both share a sigh. Young love can be such an overwhelming, complicated thing. But this is Billy’s first time coming face to face with it, and she hates to see her sweet boy - her eldest child and only son - like this.
Peggy is, therefore, elated when a letter arrives at The Halcyon addressed to Billy. When he arrives to have tea with her that afternoon, she wiggles her finger at the mailboxes beside her desk and tells him to look. 
But who would write to him? His confused expression only warrants a smile from his mother.
“It’s from Birmingham, Billy.”
He very nearly throws his teacup to the ground to lunge for the letter. Sure enough, that’s his name written in delicate cursive on the back of the envelope. His heart is pounding out of his chest as he tears open the letter and finds an automobile sketch inside with a single folded piece of paper. A handwritten letter so perfect that it almost looks printed.
Dear Billy,
Mr. Garland said you liked my father’s automobiles, so I managed to get one of his original sketches of the Model F for you. It’s not much, but I hope you will like it all the same.
I’ll see you in November.
She’s signed the letter “yours truly.” Not “sincerely,” not “regards.” He’ll be pouring over the meaning of that one for days. But, no matter the meaning of the signature… she’s remembered him. She’s thought of him. She’s taken the time to write to him! And she does still plan on returning to The Halcyon. 
Suddenly, his dreary summer no longer feels so dreary.
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November 1939.
The leaves on the trees lining the streets of London have turned orange and fallen. The grass, once kissed with glittering morning dew, slumps from the heavy frost that coats it each sunrise. It hasn’t snowed yet, but winter’s chill is beginning to set in in earnest. 
None of the ladies at The Halcyon dare step through the front doors without their heavy coats, gloves, and scarves any longer lest they catch their death, they lament. The fireplaces roar at all hours to offer some heat to the towering lobby. The doormen keep the doors shut as much as possible to trap the warmth inside. Cold manages to seep in every now and then when an unfortunately timed breeze blows through just as someone is stepping in or out, but it’s never severe enough to linger.
It is only a few weeks before The Halcyon’s lobby will be stripped of its usual flowers, vases, and other decorative trinkets and decked out in full Christmastime splendor. But first, the hotel must play host to the seventeenth birthday party of a certain young woman. And her father has spared no expense in decorating the lobby and the bar for the occasion. 
Before the Greenes even arrive, the lobby is filled with dozens of arrangements of white and pink roses in gold vases. Mr. Greene even commissioned a special tiered gold chandelier for the occasion, which hangs low over a stunning centerpiece of peonies, hydrangeas, roses, and lilies enhanced with sparkling Swarovski crystals. 
The other bellboys whinge about the decorations being too much, but Billy just brushes them off. He knows in his heart that they aren’t enough. Every flower in the world wouldn’t be enough to match her beauty.
He’s proven himself correct when the front doors swing open and she walks in, arm linked with her father’s while the other holds onto her dog’s lead. Billy has made sure that he is the one to take her coat and hat. He notices the coy smile on her rouged lips as he slips the coat off of her shoulders and the soft blush that blooms on her cheeks when his fingers brush against her upper arm. 
“Hello, miss,” he mutters softly, unable to hide his own smile. His heart is full to bursting at being so close to her again. The warm, rosy scent of her perfume is filling his nostrils and making his head spin.
“Hi,” she whispers over her shoulder, looking up at him through her eyelashes. “It’s good to see you.”
“You…” Billy’s mouth has gone so dry that he can’t finish what was meant to be a two-word sentence. He clears his throat to no avail. “Uh huh.”
She’s quickly whisked away by her father and Mr. Garland, who are eager to show off the decorations to her. It’s clear that she isn’t used to such grand gestures, seeing how she nervously clasps her hands in front of her and shifts from one foot to the other. Billy drinks in the sight of her, in her pale blue dress that he guesses has been tailored to fit her judging by the way it so perfectly hugs her every curve. His eyes linger perhaps a little too long on her bum because he hears Feldman clear his throat. 
“Come along, lover boy. Luggage to unload.”
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Billy doesn’t see her again until the following afternoon, when he is sent up to her room to take her dog out for a walk. She’s otherwise preoccupied, Feldman says. If it were for anyone else - even His Lordship himself - Billy would have groaned and grumbled about having to stumble about the streets of London being dragged along by a dog. He doesn’t even want to think about the more than few occasions when he’s lost control of a dog’s lead and left the guest’s beloved pet to run amok in the streets. He’s had to dodge cars chasing after more than one poodle or bulldog, only to return to The Halcyon completely out of breath and with his bellboy hat and cloak all askew.
But he won’t let that happen to her dog. There is no way that he will treat this dog as anything but the most precious jewel in the world. 
Walking toward the lobby, he has wrapped the lead around his wrist twice so there is no possibility for the dog to break free. He does thank his lucky stars that the dog is so small and well behaved. Even less of a chance to muck things up. Still… he can’t help but feel nerves churning in his stomach at the thought of something happening to the animal.
“Alright there, Clara?” he asks the corgi as she trots along happily beside him down the stairs. “It’s you and me today. Please be good, yeah?”
“Don’t worry. She always is.” 
Billy freezes. He knows that voice. 
When he looks up, his eyes meet hers. He’s been standing at his post by the door all day, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but he wasn’t expecting to see her right now. His free hand tugs at his uniform jacket to make sure he looks perfectly tidy and in order.
“Clara, are you going for a walk with Billy today?” She coos in a high-pitched voice to the dog, who spins in a circle in excitement. He watches a small crinkle form at the corner of her eye as she smiles at her beloved pet. Her cheeks and nose are pink from the cold and her hair is windswept, but she still looks as lovely as ever. “Do you… mind if I join you?”
“N-not at all,” Billy replies, sounding more nervous than he’d like to. “Bit cold out, though.” No, he reprimands himself. Don’t try to dissuade her, you idiot! He’s fidgeting with his hands again like he does every time he talks to her. Get it together, Billy.
“It is, but… I need a break from all this last-minute party planning. If I have to look at another table setting, I think I’ll die of boredom.” She rolls her eyes dramatically to emphasize her hyperbole, but Billy still prickles at the mere thought of it. 
“I don’t want you to die,” he responds with a little too much sincerity. But he means it. He can’t think of anything that would be worse.
“All the more reason for me to join you, then, Billy.” 
Her smile softens the tightness in his jaw. He offers a crooked grin in return, but he’s kicking himself inside. Will he ever stop making a fool of himself in front of this girl? He could tell himself a thousand times to act normally around her and he would still muck it all up the second he opens his mouth to speak to her. And yet, she doesn’t seem to mind? She might even… like him? 
He reckons he’ll never understand girls.
Their walk with Clara winds up being the longest they’ve ever spent alone together. It’s so much more than a stolen glance across the hotel lobby or a few minutes spent chatting when he brings her tea. They are strolling through Hyde Park side by side, almost in a world of their own. This isn’t the time of year when mums are out with their babies in prams or old couples are walking hand in hand among the trees. Due to the cold, the park is uncharacteristically empty and quiet, save for their own shoes crunching along the stone path and the jingle of Clara’s collar.
But the very best part is that Billy has gotten a chance to hold a proper conversation with her. If by “conversation” he means “letting her tell him about herself while he bloody clams up yet again.” She tells him about her life in Birmingham, about a book she’s reading, about her father’s company. Anything and everything. He’s happy to hear her talk. He’d listen to her read the dictionary aloud if it meant he could hear the sound of her bright, sweet voice. She has a way of softening the inflection at the end of her sentences that is so warm, so comforting. 
“Billy.” His head snaps toward her like it does every time she says his name. “Is it true that your mum works at The Halcyon, too?”
“Yeah… she’s the telephonist.”
“Oh. I’ve spoken to her, then.” A realization dawns on her and she laughs, throwing her head back in a way that makes his ears go hot. ��Oh… Mrs. Taylor. I’m so silly. I should have known. She seems nice.” 
“She is.” Billy wrinkles his nose. “Bit overbearing, though. Sometimes…” He’s convinced that his mum still sees him as her little boy the way she treats him at times. Fussing over his hair, fixing his collar, tying his shoes. As if he isn’t turning eighteen next year. 
“Yeah, but that’s just her being your mum, isn’t it? They’re supposed to be like that. It just means she loves you.”
Billy shrugs. Doesn’t make his mum any less annoying about it. “What about your mum?” 
He realizes he’s well and truly stepped in it when he sees her face fall. He had wondered why only she and her father had been to The Halcyon, but guessed that maybe her mum didn’t fancy traveling. But the way she purses her lips and stares at her feet as they continue walking suggests something else. 
“She died when I was four.” 
“Oh–” Billy feels his heart sink at having brought up such a sorrowful memory. He wants to apologize a million times and it wouldn’t be enough to convey how sorry he is.
“Please don’t feel bad about asking. It’s been so long that I… I don’t really remember her. It’s just been me and dad all this time. And he makes sure I know that I’m loved.” She laughs dryly. “I mean, look at how completely overboard he’s gone with this birthday party. I guess that’s his version of being overbearing.”
Billy’s expression softens. “Well, but… you deserve it, though. I’d throw you a party like that. If I had the money.” He realizes what he’s just said and hurriedly attempts to cover his tracks. “I mean…! If I was your dad. No–” Bloody hell, you’ve just made it worse. 
She laughs in the same way she does whenever he fumbles over his words with her. Not laughing at him, not laughing like he’s stupid like other people tend to do. It’s a genuine, sweet laugh accompanied by that glimmer in her eyes that he loves so much. He pulls his lips inward as he feels new heat rush to his cheeks. 
“Did you get my letter, Billy? From this summer?”
His previous embarrassment almost completely forgotten, his face lights up in a wide grin. He becomes more animated than he’s ever been around her, almost bouncing along the path beside her. She clearly notices, judging by the way she smiles.
“Oh, god. Yeah, I did…! That sketch by your dad… that was bloody incredible!”  
She laughs again, a laugh that seems to warm the air around them. “I’m so glad you liked it.” 
“Liked it? I… I loved it. The Model F is the most brilliant car on the market. But you… know that…” Billy stops himself before he begins to fanboy even more. He feels a little flutter in his heart as he glances sideways at her, though. He dips his head a bit in a moment of sudden bashfulness. “Can’t believe you… you know. Thought of me.”
“‘Course I did.”
Billy turns it over again and again in his mind, trying to decipher the meaning of her words. If he weren’t such an idiot, he’d come right out and ask her. But the words bloom and die on his tongue in an instant. 
He can’t remember a time when a girl ever looked twice at him, let alone thought of him when they weren’t together. Had she really taken time to think about him when she had returned home to Birmingham? Did she think of him when she took tea every afternoon, or when she removed her coat upon stepping inside her house? 
His silence eventually prompts her to prod him with a question of her own.
“Did… you think of me, too, Billy?”
His eyes are wide when he turns to her. He doesn’t mean to stare at her like some startled animal, but he can’t bloody help it. The thought of divulging the truth to her strikes the fear of God in him. 
“Yeah, I did,” is all he can manage to push past the frog in his throat.
Yes, he thought of her. He thought of her every morning as he stepped foot into the hotel lobby. He thought of her whenever he passed the flower shop at the end of his street and smelled the freshly cut roses they had for sale. He thought of her on rainy days, on sunny days. He thought of her morning and night. 
Even his younger sister, Dora, eventually started to notice how Billy seemed to float around their house whenever he would start to think about her. Being only eight years old, it had been a prime opportunity for the younger Taylor sibling to tease her brother relentlessly. But not even Dora’s incessant needling could have dissuaded Billy from thinking about the charming, beautiful girl from Birmingham who had smiled at him and made him feel wanted. Nothing could.
That’s what Billy would have said to her if he’d had the courage to do so. 
Instead, he just manages to flash a shy little smile that seems to satisfy her because she responds with one of her own. 
“Will I see you around at my party tomorrow night?” 
“Yeah… I’ll be working.” 
She doesn’t know that he begged and pleaded with one of the other bellboys to switch shifts with him so that he could be there. He doesn’t tend to work such late evenings. His mum prefers him to be home for dinner. But he would have done anything to be there for her party, even if it means that he will be stood by the door taking hats and coats all night.
“I wish you could come to the party itself,” she mutters softly, perhaps thinking that he can’t hear her. She sounds so earnest that it gives him butterflies. “My dad and my cousin Margaret won’t tell me what they’ve got planned, but I think it'll be a real gas.”
Billy knows he may be a bit daft sometimes, but he isn’t stupid enough to think that he could be anything but a bellboy at her party. When he’s alone with her, it feels a bit like they aren’t from different social classes. That the earrings she wears aren’t real diamonds and her clothes haven’t come from the finest shops in London. That he isn’t a lad from down the street who’s never owned anything that wasn’t second hand. She treats him like he’s someone. Someone worth talking to, worth listening to. Someone who is more than just another worker whose name she’ll forget by the next day.
It brings him crashing back down to earth every time he steps out of their little bubble and back into the real world. In the end, he’s just a bellboy. And she’s a beautiful heiress. Love, affection, even friendship between people like them is something forbidden. That is something that Billy must constantly remind himself of. It hangs in the very air around them whenever he is with her. But it does not stop him from wanting her.
“I’m sure you’ll have a great time,” Billy says, and he means it. “I hope you do.”
Billy laments that they’ve been walking for long enough that The Halcyon has come back into view. Their approach spells the end of their walk together. It’s a return to that real world where they must go their separate ways; him, to his work, and her, to her glittering, beautiful life. 
The hotel lobby welcomes them back with the warmth of the fireplaces, which helps them begin to shake off the November chill. Theirs is a quick goodbye as her cousin pulls her away, shrilly and breathlessly admonishing her for disappearing when there is still so much to do for the party. But she’s sure to give Billy one last tender smile before she disappears into the restaurant.
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There’s hardly any room to breathe, let alone move, through The Halcyon lobby on the night of her seventeenth birthday party. If anyone thought there had been too many flowers in the room before, then they would have had to rethink their definition of “excess” upon seeing the state of the lobby tonight. 
Flowers, mostly white roses, cover every pillar, frame every doorway, cover every rung on the bannister. There is even an archway created entirely from flowers at the top of the staircase - the perfect setting for the birthday girl’s grand entrance. And the gold accents have only been expanded upon since the day before. In some places, the light bounces off of the gold candelabras and vases in such a way that it casts a warm reflection on the walls and floor. It’s the most extravagant affair that Billy has seen at The Halcyon in more than a year of working there.
And it’s all for her.
The buzz in the room dies down in an instant when Mr. Greene appears in the archway at the top of the stairs, delivering a short speech about the gathering of family and friends that is eloquent without any of the stuffiness of having been rehearsed. It’s clear by the reaction of the crowd that he has a natural charisma about him - something that his daughter has clearly inherited from him. 
Billy’s eyes widen as she steps out from behind the flowers after being beckoned by her father. There must be a hundred people packed into the lobby, but it’s as though a spotlight has been shined on her. Flash bulbs pop and the room erupts into applause. But all that seems to exist in this moment… is her.
Billy enjoys the perfect view of her from where he stands beside Feldman by front doors. She’s wearing her hair in an elegant updo with roses pinned into her low bun. Her gold floor length gown cascades around her like a sparkling waterfall, flowing over each step of the staircase as she and her father begin to descend arm in arm. The dress is modest, with long sleeves and a v-neck that doesn’t show off too much. But the gold fabric gathers at the waist in a way that accentuates her lovely figure. Billy can’t help but bristle at the thought of all the young men who will get to dance with her tonight and rest their hands on the soft curve of her waist.
But when her eyes meet his from across the room - however briefly - all his jealousy and longing melts away in an instant. 
Billy spends the rest of the evening at his post but finds himself craning his neck each time the door to the hotel bar opens, on the off chance that he will catch a glimpse of her in her beautiful gold dress. He thinks he does once or twice, but he can never be sure. 
The night wanes on and Billy begins to yawn. He’s never worked this late before. If he wasn’t here, he’d probably be fast asleep by now. Feldman tries to send him home at half past eleven, but he just shrugs him off. 
“Billy, you’re falling asleep standing up. Go home.”
Billy hums and shakes his head, lifting a hand to his face to rub at his eyes. “Can’t go yet.”
“What are you waiting for, Billy? For me to have to carry your ugly mug home because you’ve fallen asleep on the job?” Feldman’s rising annoyance with him makes him blush.
“I…” Billy stares at his feet. “Could you do me a favor, Feldman?”
Fifteen minutes later, Billy is pacing back and forth in the dark restaurant on the opposite end of the hotel from the bar. The chairs have been flipped and placed atop the tables for the night. The silverware sits, polished and ready for the next day. The curtains are drawn across the floor-to-ceiling windows, with only the softest light from the street lamps outside filtering through them. Only the sconces on either side of the door offer any real light to the room. 
Billy has removed his bellboy hat and nervously sweeps his palm over his slicked-back hair to ensure that not even a single hair is out of place. In his free hand, he clutches a small, wrapped box with such a vice grip that his knuckles have gone white. And he continues to pace and pace and pace while he waits for the restaurant door to open.
When he sees the small crack of light at the door begin to grow and spread across the carpet, he stands at full attention with his hands behind his back. Somehow, his heart begins to beat more quickly than it already has been when she peers around the door. Her furrowed brow softens the moment she lays eyes on him.
“Billy… hi.” She’s smiling, and the light beside the door hits her face in a way that gives her an angelic glow. “Heard you wanted to see me.”
If only she knew just how badly he’s wanted to see her all night. He drinks in the sight of her, looking her up and down. He notices little details that he didn’t see from across the room earlier. The teardrop earrings she’s wearing that match her necklace. The little curled strands of hair that fall on either side of her face. The pink lipstick that’s different from the red she usually wears. He’s sure to be quick about it, not wanting it to seem like he’s asked her there just to ogle at her. 
“You look…” 
“Exhausted?” She jokes, but the sincerity on his face gives her pause.
“Beautiful.”
The lighting may be a bit rubbish for seeing her properly, but even he can tell that he’s made her blush. Her hand flies to her cheek as if to hide her smile. Her eyes fall to the floor. Surely she’s been complimented dozens of times tonight. He reckons - he hopes - that his has meant the most of them all.
“Thank you, Billy,” she breathes, finally pulling herself together enough to respond. “You look handsome, too.”
He’s caught completely off guard. The very air seems to leave his lungs. At first, all he can do is shake his head and let out a nervous laugh. “I’m… just in me uniform…” 
She takes a step toward him and he swallows hard. It still feels so hard to bloody breathe. “But you always look handsome… doesn’t matter what you’re wearing.”
It’s by some small miracle that Billy doesn’t fall to the ground unconscious right then and there. He very nearly drops the gift he’s still holding behind his back. It’s only when he has to fumble to catch it so it doesn’t tumble to the ground that he remembers why he had Feldman have her come see him.
“I… I, uh…” he flounders trying to speak again. “Bout to be off for the night, but, uh… didn’t wanna leave til…” He clears his throat. “Til I gave you this.”
“What?” He sees her eyes narrow suspiciously, although she keeps her lips turned up in a smile.  
Billy takes a step toward her, dotting out his tongue to wet his lips. “Close your eyes… and hold out your hands.” 
She does exactly as he asks, letting her eyes fall closed before she extends her perfectly manicured hands. Into her cupped palms, he placed the little box he’s kept in his locker all night. He’s seen the pile of gifts that she’s received tonight, the big boxes with their shiny wrapping paper and bags tied up with perfect bows. The one in her hands is no bigger than a makeup compact, and wrapped in crinkled newspaper with a paltry, crooked bow made out of twine. It’s hardly the most glamorous gift she’s gotten, probably ever. He almost feels embarrassed as he sees it resting atop her hands.
When she opens her eyes and sees what he’s given her, she doesn’t react in disappointment. Rather, Billy watches her face light up in a smile.
“Billy… you didn’t have to–”  
Billy rocks back onto his heels and offers a little shrug. “I know… but I… I had to get you something for your birthday. You only turn seventeen once.”
She’s holding the little gift as though it’s a delicate baby bird. “Do you want me to open it now?”
“Well, I– I mean, you don’t have to…” What if she didn’t like it? She wouldn’t have to pretend to be grateful if he wasn’t there when she unwrapped her gift.
But his words go in one of her ears and out of the other. She carefully plucks the bow open and unveils the ruby red box that’s been hiding beneath the newspaper. Inside it, she finds a delicate rose brooch. The stem is made out of a shiny gold that matches all the gold accents dotted about the hotel lobby. The petals themselves are white. Billy thinks he remembers the shopkeeper say that it’s porcelain. 
“Happy birthday.”
“Oh, Billy…” she whispers as she admires the brooch.
He saved up for months to buy it for her after seeing it in the window of the pawn shop down the road from his house on his way home from work one day. His mum and dad usually expect him to chip in for necessities now that he’s employed. “It’s your money, Billy,” his mum said to him when he asked if he could keep a little more to save for the brooch. He put away every penny he could after that. What should have taken him six months to save up, he saved in only four. 
“I, uh… saw it and thought of you,” Billy says warmly. “I know how you… like roses and all…” 
She delicately lifts the brooch from its box and lays it flat in her palm to see it better in the light. She turns it over and over again, treasuring every last detail. And all the while, the smile in her eyes shimmers brighter than the sun.
“Billy, this is so… incredible. It’s beautiful…” 
“Yeah…?” He feels a sense of pride, hearing her genuine gratitude and seeing her joy. 
“Yeah.” She finally looks up at him and he felt his stomach flip. “Billy, it’s perfect. I love it. I love it so much…” She reaches out to take his hand and wraps her fingers around his. Her touch is soft and warm against the calloused pads of his fingers and palm. Bloody hell, how many times can he nearly faint in front of her in one evening?
For a fleeting moment, there’s a force that draws them closer to one another. His senses are overwhelmed by the smell of her perfume, the warmth of her hand in his, the sight of her face so close to his. But he’s a bloody idiot as always and stands completely frozen in place. He wants to lean down and press his lips to hers, but his muscles won’t move.
He clears his throat. “Can I… put it on for you?” 
He sees disappointment flash across her face before she pulls away. She’s quick to replace it with a sweet grin, but he knows he’s missed his chance. He’ll be kicking himself for weeks for this. Stupid, stupid coward. 
“Please.” 
His hands are shaking as he takes the brooch from her and fumbles to clasp it to the front of her dress, just below her left shoulder. 
“How does it look?” she asks.
Billy can think of a million ways to describe her beauty in this moment. Not just the way the brooch looks on her, but everything about her. In the end, he smiles crookedly and settles on the one he thinks encapsulates her best.
“Exquisite.” 
Their time together is short as always. Her party can’t go on without the guest of honor and he can finally allow Feldman to send him home now that he’s given her her gift. His mum’s probably waiting up to make sure he gets home safe and it’s nearing midnight, now.
“Billy, we’re leaving for home in the morning,” she tells him as if he doesn’t already know that. “I guess… you’re off tomorrow.”
In any other situation, he’d be glad that Feldman wasn’t making him come in first thing after working such a late shift. But now it means that he won’t be there to see her off like he did the last time. 
“Can I write to you again, Billy? After I get home?” 
“Of course.” His earlier embarrassment at having denied her a kiss is somewhat dulled by the assurance that she wants to keep in touch. “But my handwriting’s a bit rubbish…”
She laughs. “I’m sure it’s fine. I’d… like to see it. Be sure to write back. Promise?”
“Promise.”
Satisfied, she pulls open the door but stops in the doorway. “Thank you again, Billy. For my present. It’s the best one I’ve gotten tonight.” She chews on her bottom lip, lingering on the boundary between the restaurant and the lobby for just a moment longer. She presses her cheek to the edge of the mahogany door, staring at him as though she doesn’t want to go. But eventually she relents as calls of her name echo through the lobby and she is beckoned back to the party.
And Billy watches dreamily until long after the bar door shuts behind her. 
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skulla-rxcks · 1 year
Text
🧸CHAPTER ONE} I like you more than a roommate
Next chapter
Paring: roommate!Hyunjin X fem reader
Rating: mature (eventually explicit)
Genre: friends to lovers, fluff, eventual smut
Chapter Warnings/things: storms
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!THIS IS PURE FICTION, NOTHING IN THIS IS REAL ITS JUST A STORY!
Your roommate Hyunjin is slowly catching feelings for you. You get more clingy to him as he helps you through your needs and issues, he loves you but doesn’t know how to show it.
A/n: I’ve been working on this for a bit and I can’t be bothered finishing majority of this chapter since I wanna get it out.
P.s: I haven’t edited this chapter and probably won’t bc I can’t be bothered, also no TWS for this chapter.
I sit back, focusing on the sound of my paint brush sweeping across the canvas, creating a beautiful image of a mermaid in a lagoon. I haven’t slept all night due to working on this painting, though I did steal this plain canvas from my roommate, he probably wouldn’t mind.
“I’m back! Dance practice was really tiring.. my shoulder hurts..” And there he is. My roommate himself, Hyunjin. I laugh slightly, moving away from my art to greet him. “Couldn’t you just take a break from dancing? Have sometime to yourself maybe, you know.. I’m always here if you feel like hanging out. it’s break after all. “
He looks at me, tilting his head to the side and scratching his neck. “I’m down for hanging out. I’m pretty sure today was our last dance session anyways" i gasp in joy after hearing that he'll finally have time to rest. "Yay! I guess we can do some art stuff then, I’ll show you what I've been doing" a warm smile forms on my face as i take his hand in mine, leading him over to the painting I’m currently working on.
“Wow.. the background blends so nicely!” He gasps, rubbing my shoulder with pride.
I feel my cheeks flush slightly, but smile.
"It’s nothing much. Just my usual style, I’m not sure if I like how the water looks or not"
Hyunjin 's hand stays on my shoulder for a few seconds longer before he parts his lips to speak again. “The water looks incredible, i would say I could do better but i can’t.”
My face heats up once again after listening to his pitiful, yet comfortable comments being thrown at me.
I walk out of our art closet, (which is basically a small closet we made into a mini art studio) and gently place my painting on the windowsill. The breeze is slightly cold, i close the window to keep warm. Shivering, I grab one of Hyunjin’s hoodies and slide it over my shirt, it’s a bit baggy but whatever. “What are you drawing?” I ask as i sit beside him again, hugging my knees to my chest due to the sudden change of the weather.
“Just someone” he mumbles. My eyes can’t help but look at how pretty he is when concentrating; hair tied back, eyebrows slightly frowned. I notice his face looking pale, i shuffle closer, lightly touching his cheek with my knuckle. “Your cold.. give me a minute.” I stand up, making my way to the kitchen and turning the kettle on. I get out two mugs, pouring in warm milk, coco, sugar and adding some marshmallows for each one. Two hot chocolates coming up!u
I waddle back into the room slowly stumbling as I hold the drinks that are filled to the brim.
“Here you go!” I giggle, handing him one of the hot chocolates, receiving a hug in response.
“Ah thanks .. I’m gonna get into bed, it’s gonna storm later. You can join me if you’d like, I know you don’t like storms.” He groans, chucking his sketchbook on the ground and pulling the covers over him. My eyes watch his movements, he sips his drink and puts it on a small table next to his bed.
I get in my own bed, admiring his features from a far.
A few hours past, he’s asleep already. I sigh, staring at the ceiling. It’s already raining and the storm is gliding over to us, *buzz.. buzz* the light starts flickering as the power goes out.
“N-no..please don’t do this to me tonight.. n-no.. no..” i clench my sheets and cry softly.
“J-Jinnieee.. w-wake up, it’s scary..”
I sob louder, shaking from the cold and my fears.
“Jinnie…” I lay down under the sheets with him
“Hm?.. Hey Shh, you’re okay. Come here.” Hyunjin moves closer to me, hugging me tightly as my tears soak through his shirt. “The storm is outside. You’re safe in here with me. It’s not gonna get us”
“B-but what if it d-“ My words are cut off as my head pushes into his chest, before I know it he’s leaving soft kisses on my head while continuing to soothe me. “I… I..” I let my eyes look at his lips for a sec then back to his eyes. My arms tighten around him as i cry myself to sleep.
© 2023 skulla_rxcks
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bijouxcarys · 8 months
Text
𝐓𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 (𝐑𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)
Masterlist
Chapter One | Chapter Two
Summary: Sometimes the pain of what should never have been, opens your eyes to what can be.
**Special thanks to @celestial-dragoness for looking over this whilst I was having a small meltdown over it. You're an angel!**
Tags: @celestial-dragoness @whothefuckisanja @callmethehunter @firethatgrewsolow @chromations @ourshadowstallerthanoursoul @m-faithfull @strsmn @angrychicksposts (if you'd like to be added, let me know!)
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It was a journey they had taken many, many times. John behind the wheel, Elena right beside him.
And they were taking it again. For the first time in over a year and a half. 
It was a journey that should have been full to the brim with energy, just like every other time they took it. But there was just something… 
Slightly…
Off.
Elena remained virtually silent since they hit the road, en route to the studio. Seated close to the door, she clutched her body tightly, shoulders tensed, and gazed out the window with frozen eyes, fixated on the passing blur of scenery.
John sensed the palpable tension emanating from her, an unease that felt unfamiliar. For a moment, he worried he had inadvertently done something wrong, questioning if she regretted joining him for rehearsal. Despite the silence, an odd smile played on her lips whenever he shared details about Jason or recounted offbeat stories about the States, dispelling his concerns.
Elena operated like clockwork, strategically easing the tension caused in John with a forced chuckle or sideways smirk. It wasn’t intentional; the past few years had trained her in the art of deflection, though it couldn’t entirely mask the discomfort lingering in John’s car.
She despised feeling this way in the presence of her best friend, a rare moment that fuelled her resentment towards him. She blamed him for making her feel this discomfort. However, her rational thoughts occasionally surfaced, acknowledging that these fears were implanted by David. Her defence mechanisms promptly pushed aside these thoughts, trapping her in a cycle that grew increasingly exhausting. Despite her initial belief that fleeing the way she did would solve everything, she now recognised its naivety.
John, as gently as possible, attempted to break the silence in the car. “D’you want the radio on, El?” Much to his shock, she shook her head. Denying the therapy of listening to music—something she’d done for as long as he’d known her. “You sure?”
“Yeah…” she mumbled. Not once did she avert her gaze back over to John. Her eyes were heavy. She was just so tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally… it all showed through the fatigue in her composure. Truly, she didn’t care if John put the radio on, or not. But she was specifically asked, so the answer was a resounding no. Music makes you thicker than you already are, Elena. She shut her eyes, wanting nothing more than to block out the echoes that had ingrained themselves into her memory, but she knew they wouldn’t be tamed so easily. 
“John…”
“Hm?”
She swallowed, feeling her throat becoming dry. “Are…” She stumbled on her words. “Is… are you sure it’s okay that I’m coming with you?” Her voice was small. Timid, even. 
Her question took him by surprise, and he had to take extra care to not veer off-road in his shock. Averting his gaze the best he could, he scrunched up his eyebrows. “Wh—Elena, what are you on about?” He let out a laugh. “Of course it’s okay you’re coming with me, has it ever been a problem?”
Finally turning her head fully in his direction, she briefly met his eyes, and was instantly filled with regret. “I…” The word came out as a restricted whisper, and she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.” And she turned to look back out of the window.
“Hey,” John reached over and placed his hand over her arm. He was sure he felt a small jolt under her jacket, and her body stiffen under his touch. “Why’re ya askin’ me silly questions like that, eh?”
“I said it doesn’t matter,” she replied somewhat sternly. “Just don’t think the others like having me around that much, that’s all.”
“That’s ridiculous!” He chortled with a shake of his head. “Obviously they like having you around, whenever you have been, that is…” he trailed off, with the knowledge that Elena’s presence had been scarce for the majority of the time Zeppelin had been together.
“Yeah, like I said, it doesn’t matter, does it?” She looked ahead of her, watching as the road came towards them with every movement. “I’m just being stupid.”
There was nothing John wanted more in that moment than to prod at Elena, get her to talk. He’d been trying for the whole week, tactic after tactic, but no matter how much he tried, Elena would very swiftly, and smartly, divert the conversation. She wasn’t stupid, he knew that. And deep down, she did too. But hearing her call herself as such sent a pang of irritation through John’s chest.
He knew there was something off about that man as soon as he stepped into her life… and there was so much that needed to be told. For Elena’s sake.
But he couldn’t force her. She needed him now more than ever, otherwise she wouldn’t have shown up in the first place, pleading for him and Pat to let her stay.
Hollick & Taylor studios sat pristine and grand in the middle of Grosvenor Road. Though Led Zeppelin had grown to the point of it being possible to uproot their lives over to London, the city of big stars and even bigger studios, the boys preferred to keep their working periods separate from whatever depravity they found themselves in whilst in the capital. H & T became a hotspot for Zeppelin’s rehearsals between touring, so it made all the more sense to set up there.
Elena had never been to this studio before, and she was fascinated by the layout; the collages of music greats, and the distinct art styles plastered on almost every wall. It took her mind off of her troubles for the time being, and it gave her that ounce of comfort she needed in that moment.
Unfortunately, the pretty pictures didn’t distract her from the fear of the others seeing her.
The few times Elena had been in the presence of all four of the lads, even with Jonesy and Jimmy, she felt welcomed. There were never awkward moments where she wondered if she should have really been there, or if she was infiltrating, intruding.
It was different now.
And she hated it.
John almost became a protective shield as she trailed behind him into the studio space that Jimmy had booked out, his body completely blocking anyone from being able to see her. She focused on the delicate patterning on the back of his shirt as some kind of calming exercise. Focus on the swirls, Elena. Study the swirls. Then he moved, as if unveiling her existence.
Her palms clammed up as she completely clasped her hands together, a tragic reenactment of being her own best friend. Eyes glued to the floor, her chest thumped. She was too exposed without John in front of her, and she barely heard Jonesy’s surprised greeting from across the room.
No eye contact, Elena. You’re not worthy of something so intimate.
So, instead, she opted for a quick glance in his direction, mustering up the friendliest smile she could. Nobody had seen her since December, and even then was cause for concern. But nobody expected her subdued entrance—the blatant avoidance of any contact. Even Jimmy took note of it.
What cut the deepest was the struggle within her to meet the gaze of those once-familiar blue eyes, windows to a passion and vitality she had almost forgotten. Eyes that used to reflect her own fervour. Out of the corner of her vision, she caught glimpses of fluffy blonde hair crowning the shoulders of a blue-shirted figure. He was right there, inches away. Instead of embracing him as she had countless times before, she stood frozen, unable to spare him even a fleeting glance. He had become a forbidden zone, an untouchable space.
A complete no-go area.
John’s voice, a lifeline breaking through her internal paralysis, finally reached her. It jolted her out of the mental fog just enough to release the tension gripping her shoulders.
“Uh, I hope you don’t mind me bringing El along,” John’s words emulated a fragile bridge back to reality.
“Course not,” Jimmy dismissed with a casual wave of his hand.
“It’s never a problem,” Jonesy chimed in.
“It’s nice to actually see you, luv,” Robert added with a chuckle that acted like a magnetic pull for Elena. Succumbing to the temptation, she turned her head in his direction, fixing her gaze on anything—his chest, whatever lay within her line of sight. Just… not his eyes.
“Should I set up, then?” John interjected, sensing the shift in Elena’s demeanour in Robert’s presence. It was his subtle way of diverting attention from her, giving her a moment alone with someone who, he knew, missed her being around, perhaps even more than he did.
Being in Elena’s presence once again was a refreshing reprieve from the seemingly dull grey that had coloured his life off-tour. Robert was somewhat glad that most of his time lately was taken up by travelling; it gave him less time to think about what Elena was doing. If she was okay. If she was thinking about him. Whenever those thoughts did come to infiltrate, though, he mentally scolded himself. It’s a stupid little fantasy, he’d convince himself. 
After their last encounter in December, however, it became harder and harder not to think about her. To worry about her. And judging by her timidity, only a spark 5 months prior, he had every right to be worried.
He truly didn’t know what to say to her. She wouldn’t even look at him. It was like she was a mere shadow of the person he used to know.
After what seemed like an eternity, wasted on just standing there in each other’s company, he only had moments to get a few words in. But his intentions were quickly dashed as the smaller human in front of him stepped towards him, arms fragile as they encircled his waist, and Elena’s head rested very gently against his chest.
Robert let out a shaky breath of relief, wanting nothing more than to bury his nose into the thick, dark locks of hair just inches below him. Though her hold was delicate, there was an urgency, a desperation in the embrace, as if it were a last resort.
His eyes involuntarily fluttered shut, and he carefully returned the embrace, arms wrapping steadily around her shoulders. If he could hold onto her like this forever, he would. If he could hide her away from every ounce of evil in the world, he would.
If he could rewrite history to call her his own… he would.
Even though she hadn’t looked at his face yet, she already felt the warmth rushing back. Just from that one hug. And even though she had this looming feeling in the back of her mind that she would face detrimental consequences for embracing Robert, she couldn’t stop. 
There was an underlying pang of regret settling in Elena’s stomach the longer she stayed in Robert’s arms. He knew nothing of the current situation. Completely ignorant to the fact she was now housing with the Bonhams, much less the reason why.
“Are you alright?”
God, that question. The question she would’ve been sick of hearing if she hadn’t been virtually homebound for months. And it sounded so gentle coming from Robert’s mouth.
All she could do was whisper an unconvincing “yes,” squeezing her eyes shut in utter embarrassment at how weak her facade had become.
“Rob, you ready?” called Jonesy. Robert shifted his attention to his bandmates, noticing they were ready to go. Jimmy was doing what he did best: improvising disguised as ‘warming up,’ when everyone knew his ultimate goal was to pull something extraordinary from the dark recesses of his mind.
“Yeah, just a sec,” Robert nodded, before pulling his head back to look down at Elena. With a hand resting lightly on her shoulder, he used his thumb to nudge at her chin, and eventually—finally—those gorgeous chocolate eyes of hers reluctantly gazed up at him. Even 5 months without seeing her couldn’t diminish what those eyes did to him inside. Beautiful. So beautiful. But so laden with sadness… 
With a feather-light touch, he stroked just under her chin, drawing the slightest smile from Elena’s lips. “We’ll talk in a bit, yeah?” he whispered.
She nodded, the slight smile turning appreciative. She wasn’t sure what he would want to talk with her about, nor was she over the moon with the fact that she may have just inserted herself into a conversation she couldn’t get out of. Robert had this striking talent for reading someone’s eyes; as much as she may have wanted to dodge every difficult topic, she knew he would pick up on it instantly.
“Hey, you’ll actually get to listen to some of our new stuff!” Robert beamed, pulling back completely from Elena, but keeping a hand on her upper arm. It was like a switch had gone in his head, triggering him to enter performance mode, and to show Elena everything she had missed over the last year.
John, sitting ready at his drums, looked on as Robert excitedly positioned Elena, making sure she was sitting directly in front of them. Like she was at the forefront of a sea of fans in a sold out show at the Playhouse Theatre. To Robert, this wasn’t a mere rehearsal. Now that she was here, it had become a specialised performance for an audience of one.
Giving a drumstick an experimental twirl, John chuckled to himself; the image of Elena gazing up at his band mate’s enthusiasm for her presence refreshing and much-missed. He wasn’t the only one who noticed this interaction either. Even Jonesy and Jimmy became aware of Robert’s demeanour, and let him stall the rehearsal for as long as it took.
She surprised herself as she let Robert manoeuvre her to where he wanted her, hand large and steady on her shoulder until he decided on a suitable place. When he looked back up at her, his eyes spoke of something she’d never seen before. What that something was, she couldn’t make out. But it was jarring, almost—enough to send her stomach flipping. 
It was fleeting, but oh so foreign.
“You just stay there, alright?” Robert grinned crookedly before hesitantly taking his hand from her shoulder.
“Okay…” she nodded, finding it virtually impossible to hide the small smile that had been summoned by him simply being him.
As always, Elena remained focused on the lads as they played through multiple songs. It had been such a long time since she had gotten to sit in on a rehearsal—since she got to see them play in general… That’s what made this moment all the more remarkable; it was a flood of nostalgia, of contentment, emotions she had long dreamed of coming back in her period of darkness. For a moment, she was 17 again, embracing new music with the lingering knowledge that it would change the world.
But now she was here, in the presence of groundbreaking talent that had already swung into the mainstream with the unapologetic gusto of a Samoan Warrior, leaving an indelible mark on the structure of rock ‘n’ roll. A mark that she was sure would never fade.
It was bittersweet to hear some of these songs months after their release. She wished she would have enjoyed the buzz of their most recent album with the world. But she couldn’t have. No chance. It just…wasn’t a possibility.
Ramble On was so quintessentially Robert. She instantly picked up on the Tolkien references, watching as his mouth curved into a satisfied smile during the vibrato his voice adopted, singing about Mordor and Gollum. It was like the teenage boy in him was jumping for joy at the combination.
It was during Ramble On that Elena began to find it impossible to tear her eyes away from the well-rounded vocalist she was so scared of seeing 45 minutes earlier.
And in some way, she wished she could’ve.
She didn’t understand why, as they worked on a transition into Whole Lotta Love, she found Robert more alluring. Why the way his shirt was a smidge too small, too tight, for him, put her on edge. Why the simple way in which he flicked his hair behind his shoulder turned her into a coy little girl. 
Sitting in this metal chair, she crossed one leg over the other, the embroidered denim under her fingers as she held onto her knee. At that moment, Robert became the only person in the room. A spell. An enchantment. Under the vice grip of his onstage presence.
Then he started singing.
Never in the 4 years of knowing Robert Plant, had Elena been in conflict with her own urges to ogle at him. Moving his hips the way he did, any girl would’ve been locked in. But Elena? Of all people, Elena?
Licking her drying lips, she absorbed, breathed in, the lyrics. I’m gonna send ya back to schoolin’… way down inside… If she wasn’t so exhausted, she would’ve shivered just at that. 
What the fuck is going on?
A far cry from avoiding any eye contact when she first came in, that was all she could do now. Much against her own will. 
It was so unexpected. Why was she looking at him like that? It’s Robert, Elena! Sweet, bubbly Robert with a love of football and fantasy! The boy you’ve known since you were 17! 
She was able to get a hold of herself when Jimmy broke out into his solo, an almost strained look of concentration on his face. She sent a smile over at John, hating that her attention was completely consumed by Robert. But as soon as she averted her gaze from her best friend, she was once again locked in by those blue fucking eyes.
Robert wasn’t even thinking as he made the bold decision to send a wink over at Elena, his foot tapping along with the rhythm. It caused a momentary lapse in stability, and she was certain he’d just telepathically extracted her ability to breathe.
Eventually, it was time for an intricate restructuring of Moby Dick. Elena had no idea what that was, much to her own dismay, but it became clear that vocal practice was not necessary as Robert jumped down from the riser the band were playing on.
Elena felt helpless, following Robert over to one of the sofas situated at the other end of the studio floor as he offered her a cigarette and plonked himself down.
Oh, no… she thought. This is the talk…
She timidly took a cigarette from Robert’s packet, placing it between her lips as he leaned over to light it up for her. Some of his wild hair grazed the back of her hand in the process, and she felt her body stiffen at the contact. Only this time, she wasn’t sure if it was a mere reaction to being touched, or to these very new and unusual feelings she felt when looking at someone she’d never considered more than a friend. At least not to the point of objectifying the poor lad.
“So,” Robert began, taking a drag from his cigarette, “you’re here.”
Watching the paper fraying away and turning to ash, Elena nodded. “I’m here…”
“What’s happened?”
God, where to start… A loaded question if there ever was one.
She gave herself a moment, and another inhale of tobacco goodness, before answering. “What d’you mean?”
Robert leaned back, angling himself so he was facing her, with one arm stretched out along the back of the sofa. “Ya don’t have to tell me, I’m just askin’, luv.”
“I know,” she sighed, looking up to meet his gaze. The events of the past 6 months had meshed into one dank image. It may have been a simple question, but one of which held the most complex of answers.
Saying it was harder than she expected. It made it all too real. She hadn’t even uttered those five words to John; he had to navigate through a series of yes and no questions just to get to the point.
“D…” she attempted, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “David and I…broke up.” It was a shock to the chest, saying it out loud. But somehow, the thunderous rhythm from John’s set allowed her to detach from the words at a comfortable level.
Now, Robert wasn’t expecting that one. Perhaps it sat at the back of his mind, but as more of an outlandish ideal than a possibility. Selfishly, he’d been wanting to hear those words for years now. The scenario would be perfect. Yet…this was far from it.
“Elena…” he breathed, pulling his brows up into a furrow of concern. “I’m so…sorry.” His lips remained parted, and his cigarette remained on the burn, neglected in his moment of silence.
She was quick to shake her head. “No.” 
No sympathy, please, Robert… I can’t take it. 
“It…needed to happen.” She placed a steady emphasis on her words, choosing them carefully.  “I, um,” she swallowed, “didn’t have much of a choice.” 
She could sense Robert’s confusion. Or was it concern? He had such an intense energy about him that sometimes it was difficult to separate one disposition from another. 
But what she did know was that Robert was not John. Very similar in their emotions, completely different in the face of managing them.
“Robert?” she gently called out to him, snapping him out of his train of thought. 
When he looked into Elena’s eyes at that moment, all he saw was a scared child. It was unnerving. Nothing like what he’d seen of her. Ever. 
It was like something was clawing at the inside of her throat, desperately trying to make a long-awaited escape from her round lips. Lips he had yearned to claim since the day they met, now a mere vehicle in earnest need of a nudge. 
“What is it, Elena?” he asked quietly, moving closer to her.
Her eyes darted away, making sure John was still completely occupied with rehearsals, before reluctantly meeting Robert with a glazed-over look.
“I can’t go home...” It came as a choked whisper, and her bottom lip started its gentle quiver.
He said nothing. Just gave her a slow nod of encouragement.
“H-Have you noticed anything…different about me? The last few times you’ve seen me?”
Robert almost let out a stifled chuckle, the answer as plain as the nose on his face. “Yeah,” he nodded knowingly.
“Well, there’s a reason for that.” She took another drag of her cigarette.
“David.”
It wasn’t a question. He knew. Fuck, he knew. He’d known the whole time, but convinced himself it was his jealousy, his ego, altering his perception of the man Elena had been with for over 2 years. But no… he was right. Fuck!
Elena watched as Robert’s face hardened, jaw clenching very subtly. The disdain was evident, a physical force that vividly washed over his features for no longer than a few seconds, before they returned to their natural state: gentle and inviting.
“I’m staying with Bon at the moment,” she told him once she saw he understood. “Have been for about a week.”
“That’s good…” he nodded. “Are you gunna throw David out of the flat?”
“Nope,” she answered with a stiff sigh and gritted teeth. “The bastard managed to talk me into signing it over to him. Fuck…” She let out a rueful laugh, running her hand over her face. “I’m such an idiot.” She squeezed her eyes shut behind the protective shield of her hand. 
“Hey,” Robert said, coaxing her hand away from her face. His fingers wrapped around her wrist, barely applying pressure. Remembering what he had seen at Christmas… he had to be careful. 
“Nothin’ about you is idiotic, darlin’.” His eyes were rigid in their contact. “Don’t call yourself something yer not.”
“It’s so hard, Robert…” She relaxed her weight against the back of the sofa, her head inches from Robert’s hand. “How did I let it happen?”
“The man was a talented manipulator,” he told her bluntly. “It’s not your fault. Between you and me, you’ve made the right decision.” You’re much too perfect for someone like him, anyway… 
“You’ve done the hardest part. Ya left the cunt. No idiot would do something so brave.”
How sweet… I wonder if he thinks his words will work… 
All Elena could do was give him an appreciative smile as she finished off her cigarette. 
Robert had finely chiselled through the outer layer of Elena’s bruised armour. As rehearsal came to a close, he promised her he’ll be in touch. Like the first time they met, he watched John wrap his arm protectively around his best friend as they left. And instead of a piqued curiosity, he was left with an insatiable need—a responsibility—to tear that battered armour away.
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cryingabtab · 6 months
Text
Save Me A Spark - Part 15
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Warnings: A little bit of angst, drinking
Pairing: Austin Butler x Cassie Hale (OFC)
Word Count: 1.1k
Author’s Note: I’m so sorry this took so long. I think I’m back. <3
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“Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art.” ~ Kurt Cobain
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A few hours after her phone call with Austin, Cassie emerged out of the guest bedroom. Her hair was a mess, sticking out every which way and knotted. A true rat's nest. Her face was puffy, her eyes rubbed raw from wiping tears away. Dark circles surrounded her eyes and the whites of her eyes were red as could be. She looked exhausted. Defeated. Her friends sat in the living room, music playing from the TV’s speakers as they talked amongst themselves. They all turned to look at her as she walked into the room and sat down with them. She said nothing as she took the soft, chunky knit throw blanket off of the back of the couch and wrapped it around herself.
“Hey, Cass,” Rory greeted softly. Her voice was gentle despite the boiling rage she felt because some incompetent man made her best friend feel this way.
“Hi,” Cassie whispered, leaning back into the couch as she looked at her friends.
“How ya feelin’?”
Cassie responded with a simple shrug, her gaze falling into her lap.
Ash spoke up next. “We were just about to order some pizza. Any specific toppings you want?”
Cassie shrugged again. “Just not pineapple.”
Ash nodded, “Pepperoni?” Cassie gave a quick, single nod of approval.
Cassie pulled her phone from her pocket and opened the notes app before passing it to Rory. “I wrote this if you guys wanna read it. It’s a new song,” she murmured. “Also, can we get drunk? I wanna get drunk.”
“We can,” Hazel said with a hesitant sigh. “I think you’d be better off drinking some water, though.” She knew that Cassie would still drink if she really wanted to, and knew that her suggestion would fall upon deaf ears. The best she could hope for was that Cassie would at least rehydrate a little bit before picking up a bottle.
Cassie groaned as she pushed herself off the couch, slipping out of the comfortable warmth that the chunky throw had provided. “Fine. I’ll have some water,” she grumbled. “But after that, I’m getting hammered.”
“Thank you,” Hazel called as Cassie shuffled into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
Rory was still holding Cassie’s phone. She didn’t want to read the song, not while she was already so wound up from the day’s events. It would only make her angrier. And if she got angrier, she knew that it would be all she would be able to talk about. If that happened, she wouldn’t be able to be there for Cassie like she wanted to be. Rory pressed the side button and watched as the screen turned black, then set it down on the blanket.
Cassie plopped down on the couch a moment later, taking a huge swig out of her water bottle. She looked over at Rory, “Did you read it?”
“I’ll read it later. Promise,” Rory held up her pinky finger. The two linked pinkies and Cassie went back to guzzling down her water.
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An hour and several slices of pizza later, Cassie sipped on a wine glass filled to the brim with her favorite red. Well, she wasn’t exactly sipping. The glass was empty in less than five minutes. She grabbed the bottle to pour another, then decided against it. Instead, she brought the bottle to her lips and took a large swig.
“Jesus, Cass,” breathed Ash. “Pace yourself. Remember that time you had to get your stomach pumped?”
Cassie sighed through her nose and set the bottle on the counter. “Yeah, but that was Four Loko. This is wine.”
“I mean, yeah.” She had a point. “But it’s still alcohol and you aren’t in your right mind. Pace yourself.” Ash sighed as she opened a white claw.
Cassie grabbed the bottle again and walked into the living room, plopping down on the couch. She was beginning to feel the warm buzz from the alcohol, and it was a welcome distraction from the overwhelming hurt she’d felt all day. She reached forward where the remote sat on the coffee table and turned off the music that was playing. Groans of protest were heard from her friends, but soon stopped as she turned on Criminal Minds.
She set the remote back down and kicked her feet up, with a small smile on her face as she took another swig from the bottle of red she was holding.
“Not that I’m complaining,” Hazel hummed out from beside her. “But why?”
“Just refreshing myself on what not to do,” Cassie said stoically, not moving her eyes from the screen. “That, and this show has some serious eye candy.”
Rory scooted closer to Cassie and rested her legs on her lap. “You’re telling me. I need Prentiss more than I need air.”
Cassie leaned into Rory, “But Hotch, though? Oh my lord.”
“You two are terrible,” Hazel scoffed jokingly, shaking her head.
“Says the girl who watches Reid edits on TikTok…daily,” Ash chimed in from the kitchen.
“Touché.”
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Austin sat exhausted on a flight back to Cincinnati. During his time back in LA, he had finished all the press events and interviews that he had needed to attend. However, he was going back earlier than scheduled. After realizing that the remainder of his time in LA would have been meetings that could easily be accomplished via Zoom, he was packed and ready to go. Of course, his team wasn’t too happy with his decision, but in the end, they worked for him. And he had important things to take care of. After what had happened, some of them wouldn’t even be working for him anymore.
He stared out the plane’s window and watched as the clouds passed by. His puffy eyes squinted against the bright, setting sun. Once he was seeing a concerning amount of sunspots in his vision, he slid the window covering shut and leaned his head against it. His early flight back was completely impulsive. He had a few days before he had to be back on set, which meant he had a few full days to attempt to win Cassie back. And he didn’t even have a plan.
The best he could think of was to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness. But he was almost positive that it wouldn’t work. Rory’s words repeated in his mind like a mantra.
“She is broken. When that passes, she’s gonna be furious. So count your fucking days.”
Then he remembered his last conversation with Cassie, and how she ended the call angrily telling him to stay away from her. He winced at the memory, hunching over to hold his face in his hands. He pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from crying for the nth time that day. She already seemed furious. He just hoped that it wasn’t too late to try. He hoped that he wasn’t too late to help pick up her broken pieces. He hoped that he could do something, anything, to get her to change her mind.
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whumpsday · 2 years
Text
Kane & Jim #41: The Contents of Several Unopened Envelopes Delivered to Kane de Sang
Masterlist
content: vampire whumpee, angst / emotional whump, discussion of abusive relationship
beginning takes place a few days after Clean Break.
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Dear Kane,
I’ve moved into my own house. It feels strange, living in a house by myself. It’s quiet. Not that my family home was loud, but there were people. Now there’s no Father, no Mother, no sisters, no servants. No you. Just me.
I’m not alone, of course. I’ve talked to you about my other friends before. They’ve been marvelously helpful, Sylvia especially. I know I’ve said this before, but I think you would like them all. I know they would like you, too, as long as you don’t say anything rude. As always, if you ever want to meet them, let me know.
I’m sure you’ve heard all about the disaster of my eighteenth birthday party, though you didn’t attend. I thought Father might faint. You should have seen the look on his face when I told everyone, it was glorious! He was even more upset than you were.
I know you said not to read your letter, but I did. I apologize. For the record, my answer is a resounding YES. Should you still like to move in with me, nothing would make me happier. I know it was a rather big fight, but you’re my best friend. We’ve made it through worse, have we not?
My new address is attached for you to reply. You don’t need to put a name on the envelope, if you want to keep it a secret. That way your parents wouldn’t know who you’re sending it to.
Yours truly, Bellamy Verta
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Dear Kane,
We haven’t seen each other in the longest we’ve ever gone without, I believe. Unless you count the just-shy-of-a-year between my birth and yours. If you sent along a reply to my last letter, I’m afraid it was lost in the mail before it could make its way to me. Or perhaps my own letter was the one that was lost. Though I understand it’s far more likely you simply didn’t reply, just in case, I shall repeat the most important point: I’ve read your letter, my answer is YES.
I’ve managed to acquire ethically-sourced blood. I must admit it is not the most delectable, as you’d predicted, due to the considerable distance it must travel from an area with more amicable interspecies relations. However, such is a small price to pay in order to sustain myself in a way that does not harm others.
I’ve been wondering what you’ve been up to since I left. I think about you quite a lot. Honestly, you’re the only one I still think about, although it’s only been a month. I’d be happy if I never spoke to Father again. I’ve an urge to go back under the cover of day, with one of those full-coverage suits and a large brimmed hat, just to throw garish paint over his house. But I know you would say this is improper and irresponsible behavior, so I will make an effort to restrain myself.
I miss you.
Yours truly, Bellamy Verta
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Dear Kane,
I kissed a man.
I don’t know why I’m telling you. It’s been three months and you haven’t replied, so it’s unlikely you’ll respond to this one either. But you would have been the first one I’d tell if things were still like before, so I felt as though I have to. I won’t bore you with the details, but it was nice. I thought you’d like to know, maybe.
We’re not courting. It’s different out here in the real world. You’re allowed to just try things out. The nobility is properly cultish in ways, quite honestly. I think you would like the real world a lot if you gave it a try. My offer still stands. My answer is still yes.
Yours truly, Bellamy Verta
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Dear Kane,
I really miss you. I was thinking about it and decided I must write you another letter. I know you were always the one more inclined toward mathematics in our studies, and I’ve taken a page out of your book. Doing the proper research and all. Were you aware that there is a 0.0027% chance that all three of my letters were lost in the mail? I must say, my academic interests still tend toward art and literature, but probability can be fascinating in certain scenarios, when it matters. Not that it matters, as I’m no longer a schoolboy. I’m an adult now. Only 5 months until you are as well!
I was wondering how you were doing. Are you planning on taking a human? No one expects you to have to do that, you’re aware. It’s dangerous due to your condition. I don’t mean this in a condescending way, you know I would never. I simply worry for your safety. Humans have upped their defenses in recent years. I’ve never taken one, and in half a year I’ve managed to make a nice life for myself. You could too, if you wanted.
You know I don’t agree with human-keeping. But if you do, please be safe.
Yours truly, Bellamy Verta
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Dear Kane,
Happy birthday!
I couldn’t not send a letter, even if you won’t send one back. Congratulations on coming of age. I’m otherwise strictly not in contact with my family, but I asked Katarina just because I was concerned, and she said that you do not plan on taking a human. It’s for the best, really. You don’t need that. Your parents are even bigger pricks than my own, somehow.
She also told me there will be no celebration, despite the milestone. I know how crushing that must be for you, especially as I’m not even there for our usual bash with just the two of us. I want you to know that my door is always open to you. I will be sure to be home on the eve of your eighteenth. I’m hoping this letter arrives a few days before then. Should you like, you can stop by and we can celebrate.
Yours truly, Bellamy Verta
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Kane de Sang
🎊 You have been cordially invited to Bellamy Verta’s 19th birthday! 🎊
Flip this card for time, date, and location information.
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Dear Kane,
I know by now that you don’t read these, but I’ve found myself in a bit of an uncomfortable situation, and I’m desperate for your advice. You always gave the best advice, before. Or you usually did. Sylvia says I need to stop writing to you because I’m only hurting myself, but she doesn’t know you. She would like you if she knew you like I do.
I started seeing someone several months ago. My third relationship now, actually. Quite a lot has happened since my last letter. I am proud to now call myself experienced in the art of homosexual activity!
Anyhow, regarding the matter at hand. Henry is a lovely person who I get on with quite well. He reminds me of you in some ways. However, lately he has been acting differently. To put it bluntly, he has become violent with me on multiple occasions. But then afterwards, he’s always back to his normal, kind self again, and I’m all healed by the next night. All my other friends are telling me to break it off, but he’s not always like this. Only sometimes. And other than that, he’s perfect. But it has been more often as of late. It’s hard to explain it all in a letter. If you are in fact reading these, would you be willing to meet and catch up?
I can picture it now. You would shake me by the shoulders and demand I come to my well-lacking senses. Or perhaps you would complicate matters by exchanging blows with him. I don’t think you would be pleased with the situation. But I believe this can be salvaged, if only I can find the right thing to say to him to make him understand that this is frightening me.
I’m also curious as to what you’ve been up to. I miss you.
Yours truly, Bellamy Verta
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Dear Kane,
Maybe you do read these. I’m unsure. I thought I’d send along an update, just in case you are reading and not responding. I know you would have been worried about me if that was the case. I did end up breaking things off with Henry. He did not react well, but it’s over now.
I’m still interested in catching up, should you like to. I apologize if that was too much to put on you. We aren’t even really friends anymore, I suppose. But I’d like to be again.
Despite that bump, things have been pretty wonderful. There are so many things I wish I could share with you. I think you would be really happy here, if you gave it a chance.
7.29e-8%, otherwise known as 0.0000000729%. I think the point at which they start introducing “e” to mathematics is when the whole subject becomes truly irredeemable.
Yours truly, Bellamy Verta
-
Dear Kane,
I anticipate that this will be my last letter. Unless you respond, of course.
There will always be room in my heart for you. I would not be the person I am today without your friendship. But I have a new life now, a far better life than I did before, even if there are still troubles. And, though supportive, my friends are tired of hearing my heart ache for you. I find myself agreeing with them. I’m tired of it, too. It’s been a year and a half.
I wish nothing but the best for you, always. My door is always open to you should you change your mind and decide to get in contact. If I ever have a change-of-address, I shall send notice by mail, so you will be able to reach me.
I suppose this is goodbye. I would rewrite this on paper clear of teardrop stains, but I sincerely doubt you’ll be reading this anyway, so I shall leave it as-is.
I always loved you. I still do.
Bellamy Verta
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drabbles posted between #40 and #41:
Accident (Epilogue #1.5)
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