#i feel so tired every day
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seasonal depression is hitting so hard this year
#like it's so bad#vent stuff followes#not a day goes by where I don't feel like shit#and even if i do fun things I don't enjoy them#i could cry every day#i feel incredibly ugly#my hair is falling out in tons#i feel uncomfortable with my body in all the ways#i feel incredibly alone#and unloved and unlikeable#I'm not motivated for work#I'm not even motivated to play games#or make gifs as u might see#i feel so tired every day#i just wanna sleep forever
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make it vicious, take a stab
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jujutsu gojo#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#blood/#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#just in case idk#i believe in night moves fv supremacy#i feel like i say this every time but im dead deceased on the floor in the ground etc etc#maximum effort fr gojo as usual sighhhhhhhhhhhh#3 days on this mf who let me draw another mirror who didnt talk me down#i got so frustrated after i finished his reflection only to realize i had a whole other half gojo to draw#do not look too closely ik its not perfectly mirrored ik ik ik i wanted to die the whole time pls b kind#especially the hair gjhdfkdgk the last mirrored char i drew was megumi and at least with him his hair is dark#with which i can Conceal my mistakes#none of tht here sighs . this freak and his florescent hair#anyway even tho i died and perished and expired etc i am . SO happy w this u have no idea#blood sweat and tears went into this one#and easter eggs! so many easter eggs#pls take it and enjoy im tired of staring at him and his god awful lipstick job . make yourself decent smh
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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 2
[Pt. 1] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr incorrect quotes#honkai star rail memes#hsr memes#honkai star rail meme#hsr meme#boothill#robin#hsr robin#sunday#hsr sunday#aventurine#dr ratio#ratiorine#aventio#acheron#black swan#acherswan#dan heng#march 7th#stelle#hsr trailblazer#what's the ship name for march and stelle. uh#i have no clue. it'd be their names smashed together right. starch??? 😭#whatever it is feel free to tag it if u want! and maybe i'll learn smthn bc surely there's another name for them#omfg i just googled it and apparently it IS starch you learn smthn new every day#anyways. here's hoping none of these have been done before!#i managed to make one (1) image that didn't include Aven or Ratio wow //edit: there's 3 i was just so tired i couldn't count lmao#anyways it's past my bedtime i spent too long making this and i still gotta do my HSR dailies rq so goodbye and goodnite to u all
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I am so serious when I say this. an amazing way to support your trans friends, mutuals and followers that you share fandom space with is to depict trans characters in your fanfiction and art. cis people get to turn to fandom works for comfort when things feel overwhelming and grim, and get to see themselves depicted. for trans people, this is rare. we don't get to experience the same comfort in fandom that cis people do, in a world that tries to silence us.
depicting trans characters in your fanfiction and fan art tells the trans people around you "I love you. I hear you. I care about you. your stories and your humanity are valuable and are worth depicting in the things that I care about."
#every time someone tells me my trans art or fics helped them during a bad day I just T T#there is a reason one of the first things that bigots go after is books and art#these things are so powerful#including fanfiction and fan art#ive been trying to express this sentiment for a while but now feels important to come right out and say it#i am begging fandom to care more about trans characters#for the reasons stated#this message is for both cis and trans people#no i dont agree that trans characters are only allowed to be depicted by trans people when its in a fandom setting#allow both cis and trans people writing trans representation the same grace we give everyone while writing other queer characters#tired and sad
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I just want to say, I have never once claimed to speak for all survivors… my posts are from my experience and I try to cover all angles. I’ll make posts about people being strong while making posts about it being valid to not identify with the word.
But getting aggressive comments on my posts about it how I “don’t speak for all survivors and should shut the fuck up” is honestly a lot. And using “I’m a survivor too” like it’s some valid excuse to be rude and aggressive isn’t okay either.
I blocked the person. And I will continue to block people that pull this shit. But it is getting beyond exhausting that people constantly come into my posts to say “this isn’t true for me”. And I can handle that but being told to “shut the fuck up” because you don’t personally relate to a post is honestly a lot.
#I am so over tired#and feeling so overly emotional#the urge to impulse delete my blog is a lot#I come on every day to attacks in my activity feed#in my ask box#as replies on my posts#people have literally made hate blogs about me#I’m tired#I’m a real person#I’m a real person struggling with my trauma just trying to do some good#swearing#tw hate
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#i just realized i think part of why ive felt so extra isolated lately is because i dont have any in person autistic friends#or even acquaintances#and im just. im masking all the time#so ive been drowning it out by reading on my phone (including at work between tasks)#but god. im so fucking tired of feeling alienated from my coworkers and not understanding why they all seem to click together and I don't#even the guy who started way after me and has been gone for a month!! even he gets more casual conversation than me#and i just dont understand why. im trying so hard every day and its not working#and before anyone tells me to stop trying and just “be myself” or some shit. unless youre autistic i dont want to hear it#you dont know what its like!!! unless it's with other autistic people being myself Always makes things worse socially#im just. im tired and im lonely and i miss my old friends
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I've been writing so much fucking fanfic material that I just yelled "AZIRAPHALE!!!" when my cat jumped onto the table 😭 the brainrot is becoming too real
#her name is alex mind you#but ive been inside crowley's head every day for almost a month now and its apparently taking root#the poor dear flinches not because she recognized the name but because i just yelled surely 😭#im so sorry kiddo#i feel like i just called my lover the name of my ex in the middle of sex 😭#dad still love you baby girl he is just a bit tired i promise#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#anthony j crowley#aziracrow#spencer speaks#and spencer loses his mind also apparently
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i just realised how repetitive life is
oh god I'm going to have an existential crisis again
someone stop me 😭
🩰
#why is life so repetitive#oh god#i do the same thing every day#i'm trapped#and spiralling#mentally ill girlies#actually mentally ill#female manipulator#female hysteria#manic pixie dream girl#girl interrupted#hyper feminine#hell is a teenage girl#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#female rage#im just a girl#girlhood#bpd thoughts#thought daughter#thought girl#just girly thoughts#crazy girl#im tired of feeling like im fucking crazy#going crazy#locally hated#messy chic#female insanity#feminine urge#insane girl#insanegirlsdoitbetter
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I reiterate that if you're going to ask people for donations, you will come across as extremely suspicious if you spam their inbox. People are likely to report and/or block you, thinking you're a bot. If you need donations, I do not recommend going about like this. I really, REALLY do not recommend it.
#blog post#not helpol#i am tired of the spam y'all#literally every single day since I've opened my ask box back up#i have gotten a SHIT TON of random people asking me for donations#which is somewhat silly considering i was literally just running my own donations#so no I'm sorry but i won't be answering asks about donations#i don't think it's ok to that personally; it feels really invasive and is extremely suspicious#because you know who else comes into your inbox asking you for money? bots. bots do that exact thing.#it's extremely difficult to know who to trust especially when gofundme isn't supported in gaza#nor is paypal actually#they ciuld just be using a VPN but i don't know enough about VPN to comment on that confidently#but i feel it's important that people are sceptical honestly#because there are assholes who will scam you and take advantage of your kindness for others#don't buy into a potential scam especially at a time where supporting oneself is often already a challenge
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c32bafd5e3426c50cdc91a729213005d/5316d706971ef84d-b4/s540x810/23a9a1029195f72bb3980adb235b65cace139c28.jpg)
Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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anyone else finding it impossibly hard to be creative right now
#i'm still drawing every day and working on comms#but i'm struggling to get things finished#stuff i can usually get done in like an afternoon is taking me a whole work day#every little thing takes so much mental energy and focus#and i get tired so quickly#art is coming it's just sad and slow these days#when i don't have art to post i start to feel. Weird. and Bad
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i wish i could be chill about media that i like but sadly, they will always take over my brain to an unhealthy extent (at least imo) i just hate that fandom bs actually bothers me this much, i sometimes wish i could stay somewhere between being a casual-ish fan and the level of interest i have now, like ofc ppl are gonna be shit no matter what but i realllly wish it didn't affect me at all like i wish i could see someone post something that completely mischaracterises my fave characters without being so pissed off about it or literally just any of the other drama happening in this fandom, i wish i could see it and not care about it
which ofc is hard bc most of the stuff that pisses me off and upsets me is how anti-black a lot of ppl in this fandom are like the outright racism and colourism that i see in this fandom is literally killing my interest a bit icl, i love louis, loustat and iwtv sm and i wanna stick around but seeing this stuff just puts a damper on my mood and interest
idk i probably won't go anywhere bc like i said i get obsessed with my interests to an unhealthy degree so i won't be able to reduce how fixated i am on this show and i was in my last fandom for like 5 years?!? (and i'm still there kinda) so i feel like with iwtv i will be here for a long time fr
anyways this whole thing is really disappointing and upsetting, i was really so happy to find a vampire show that had a gay black male lead and it didn't shy away from commenting on the racism and anti-blackness the character experienced from other characters, only to get to the fandom and see that there's ppl doing that and worse, it makes me feel like they truly watched the show with their eyes (and ears) closed
#i am tired#and i have only been here (the fandom) for 3-4months?!#tumblr isn't too bad bc i can't see a lot of the bad posts over here but twitter is just horribleeeeee#it's like every other day i see someone saying something racist about louis and half of the ppl engaging in the tweet don't even clock it#it makes me feel crazy#me yapping#sorry guys i will probably delete this im just venting#anyways i have no chill when it comes to my interests and i blame the autism 😁#i feel like i posted something exactly like this before so if i did oops m
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Got my blood test results back and guess who's very iron deficient again? It's me lol no wonder I've been so tired
#the person behind the yarn#I am so tired! so tired all the tiiiime#that's okay I have iron supplements#I am also on the low end of normal for B12 which is a surprise#oh wait I just compared to when I was severely iron deficient in like february#and they didn't test ferritin this time but all my other numbers are worse#oops! oops that's not good#my ferritin was 3 in February#I am feeling like that uh oh! I'm in danger comic#yikes lol time to make sure I am for reals taking the iron pills every day
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Aw man...
#Vent incoming wee woo wee woo#Goooood man I feel so. Stressed and anxious cuz of my job#I hate it. I hate trying not to cry every 5 minutes#I hate the feeling in my chest. It's like someone is poking really hard into it#It's almost suffocating#I feel awful. Every little thing makes me angry. I don't want to be angry at ppl who did nothing wrong. I don't want to be like this#I really wish I wasn't like this. Why can't I be more calm and normal#I feel like I need a good cry. But I don't have anywhere to go for that#When I'm at home I don't feel like crying cuz I purposefully distract myself from stress#But I do feel like crying at work#But ofc I can't cry at work#And even at the end of the Day when going home I'm too tired to cry. Plus it would look weird for other ppl walking by...#I hate this. I get all stressed durring work but then I can't let it out#I have work rn. And tomorrow#I'm just gonna have to feel awful until my Days off come#God. I really hate venting. I don't like ppl seeing me like this but. I don't have anything else left to relieve the pain#I just don't know what to do anymore#Where to go#Whatever. This feeling will go away eventually#It will come back ofc#I just wish there was a better way to ease the pain. But again. I don't have a place for that#So I'll just have to seat w these feelings until they go away#I'll try to keep myself distracted. Which will be hard cuz I. Am at work. The place which makes me feel these things in the first place#But whatever! I'll try anyways#I'll look at art. Or I'll think about characters that I like...#Save me fictional characters. Save me!!#Anyways. Vent over 🎉
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Oh yeah! New year. I was thinking that I’d like to bring daily fish facts to a dignified end of a round one thousand facts. The problem is, I’d have to gather enough strength to make 118 daily facts for nearly four months straight! And I’m a mighty good quitter once I’ve started. But then again fish facts were my whole thing…?? It would be a shame to end them so abruptly.
#maybe its not really quitting but feeling tired#i used to do so many things vigorously every day#i start them and then i drop them! nowadays i no longer bother to go through what people posted and reblogged while i was sleeping#i would like to do fish facts good but im just one woman and im so……..
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just realized ive posted art almost every single day since the start of the year and the only day i didnt was cuz of work. lets fucking GOOOOOO
#im somehow feeling the worst ive felt in years and also the most productive at the same time. and idk how thats possible#i feel like ive unlocked smth that i couldnt last year. like when i finished school i said Ok art is my full time job now.#thats how many hours i should be putting in. and then i proceeded to do nothing all year#but this year so far i get up and go to my desk and just work on stuff. which is crazy#i feel like its cuz im switching lanes#like i can do furries (work) or portfolio stuff (work) or whatever else (fun) and All of those r productive#so when im tired of 1 thing i just switch to another#but also i hate my art more than ever rn. so my brain does feel toxic poisoned by it#but it just makes me angry and spiteful. like im gonna get better if it kills me. i will stop flopping if it kills me#but also feel like im posting too much. like im oversaturating#not special if its every day. not special means nobody cares. u know#idk. anwyays. ill figure it out#x
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