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idontknowreallywhy · 2 months ago

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The Last of Them

Not quite sure what this is… it started as a little tribute to David Graham who, while maybe most famous for voicing Parker twice, also brought original Gordon to life.

Then it developed a life of its own and I’m not entirely sure what it became - by its very nature it refers to multiple major character deaths but they are all very old. So I hope it is ok. Maybe don’t read if you’re feeling fragile!

I put them in order of the VAs passing because that seemed right in the circumstances. Apologies if that means it is The Wrong Order for how you imagine it.

💛💛💛💛💛💛💙💚🧡❤️💛💛💛💛💛💛

He never expected to be The Last.

They’d all lived to a good age. They’d all achieved what they wanted to achieve.

But even Tracys didn’t live forever. And Gordon had not expected to be The Last.

Virgil had been first. He was never first at anything and this had been absolutely the last race Scott ever wanted to be beaten in. He took it as a personal affront that the universe seemed to want to run the curtain calls out of order.

Secretly, Gordon believed it had been a stroke of luck. In retrospect, he had been relieved. He knew his tender-hearted brother would have struggled the most at having to say goodbye to one of them and carry on. Gordon knew more than any of them, more than Scott, perhaps even than the man himself, how heavily Virgil carried the burden of attending Scott’s first (thankfully premature) funeral and that his darkest fears had always been centred on doing that again. Perhaps that had been why he’d refused the more experimental, increasingly desperate treatments Scott was lining up. He’d said he was happy, he was content and wanted to face the next adventure at home with his family, ALL of his family, not in a bubble in San Francisco.

Even now, when he closed his eyes, Gordon could still feel that last hand squeeze. Could still hear that rumbling voice telling him he’d done good today. He’d had his brother’s last little throwaway gift - a sketch of a grizzly bear with a squid clinging to its face - engraved at 5x scale on to a steel plate.

As time passed, the voice in his memory became younger, the eyebrows darker.

Scott himself had faltered, hard. But eventually, with the assistance of a horde of grandchildren and great grandchildren, had refocused and thrown himself into the role of patriarch that he’d been reluctant to embrace since Dad had passed. He’d lavished all his vast stores of energy on the subsequent generations as if determined they would know how much he cared before it was too late.

Scott hadn’t expected to outlive TinTin, John or Penny either. But the universe kept shuffling the deck of cards until Grandpa Scott finally gave his last cheeky salute and went to find them.

And then there were two. And Gordon was the oldest. Which had been weird, although expected.

Alan had always hated being the last.

When Gordon had poked his head around the door as the doctor left, his baby brother had been serious, staring out of the window. He’d swallowed and walked quietly over to his bedside but as soon as Gordon had been within reach Alan had turned and punched him in the shoulder and smirked that same irritating little brother smirk he’d smirked for over eight decades:

“Tag!”

Gordon had blamed the tears on tiny, weedy child-knuckles faintly bruising his broad, masculine shoulders.

Alan had just cackled.

Gordon had never expected to be The Last.

But so it had been.

Sometimes the media people dared him to reveal his secret. As if somehow he’d achieved something his brothers had not… As if they had missed a trick… he would look them dead in the eye and swear he’d spliced his DNA with a bowhead whale. At which point they’d usually smile awkwardly, check their notes for references to dementia then back away from the stupid, stupid questions.

He had never expected to be The Last, but as The Last, he had become all of them.

When four generations sat round and told stories of the Tracy family, he was the guardian of the old ones. The original ones. The ones they all knew but pretended not to notice him embellishing. How Scott was faster, Virgil stronger, John more all-knowing, Alan more daring every time the tales were retold.

To the world at large he was a kind of talisman. Whenever IR was mentioned in the media, it became Gordon’s image that was used. Despite having never been in command of either IR or TI, it was his comment people wanted. So he would give one, often irreverent or purely nonsensical and with the same wink his eldest brother had been famous for. It was genetic, after all.

He played unpredictable and eccentric old billionaire nearly as well as he played crazy sentimental Grandpa.

As long as they didn’t ask the stupid questions. He had spent a little while in the pool, gently washing off the lingering taint of today’s holo-interview appearance on some news show. He always did them when asked, the Tracys positive reputation enabled the family to do a lot of good on a global scale and cute old guy Gordon apparently helped. It wasn’t a lot to ask. Scott would have done it, so, therefore, did Gordon. And he would carry on, as long as he had all his marbles. And then maybe just a little longer… to wind them all up.

He sighed. However he might suggest that stricter pre-screening was going to be needed in future.

“So, Mr Tracy, how does it feel to be the last of the old guard?”

He’d swallowed the bitter “How do you think?” The questioner had looked about twelve, they had no idea. No idea how it stung. So he’d called it an honour. Then shifted quickly to the agreed script about their campaign to make Safety and First Aid a compulsory part of the school curriculum in many countries.

Yes, a little more consideration for the ancient squid-man’s lonely heart wouldn’t go amiss. EOS would sort it. He liked EOS. She still got his pop culture references and she hadn’t locked him out of anywhere for years.

His minder for the pool excursion - one of Scott’s great grandkids… or possibly John’s… he was beginning to lose track - patted him on the hand and left him tucked up warmly in a fluffy robe on a lounger to watch the sunset.

Goodness he was tired.

He yawned and wriggled a little, then smiled to himself at the sound of the kids coming out on to the deck arguing about something or other. Alan’s traditional shriek as Virgil yeeted him into the pool was followed swiftly by the combined laughter of the elder trio who claimed the loungers beside and behind Gordon. A count of five, then the littlest bro had his revenge by leaping atop Virgil and soaking him before stealing half of Gordon’s robe and the majority of his elbow room.

Too contented to really complain, Gordon slung an arm over the soggy teen and let his brothers’ voices surround him as he drifted off to sleep.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds tos #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #gordon tracy #major character deaths (in old age)#kind of a tribute #thanks for the memories David Graham #idontknowreallywhy fanfic

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darknessisafriend · 10 months ago

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You are my Empire Commodus x Reader

Here's a little one shot about Commodus being a sub in your relationship, smut and fluff, enjoy!

The flutes, claps and cheers filled the palace, effervescence and joy for the Calendae Ianuariae, New Year. Statues of Janus were erected in all Rome, the double face deity looking to the past and towards the year to come. You smiled, finding yourself looking towards the past…

It was about a year ago, you were exactly at the same place for New Year, having to bear with mundane whispers and gossiping of the court, but you heard everything, and people found pleasure confiding in you. It used to be the incarnation of boredom, having to wear a smile as if you didn’t crave to go home. Today you still thanked the gods for not listening to yourself, for that night your life had changed. You had met your husband, Commodus, son of Marcus Aurelius and Emperor of the Roman Empire.

“Careful not to get lost in your memories. Someone might take advantage of it.” Said a charming masculine voice from behind you, you felt the man approach, leaning closer to your ear, making you smile “Still as beautiful as the first day I laid my eyes upon you.” He cooed, coming to stand in front of you, a glass of wine in each hand, handing one to you, Commodus, the man of your heart.

“Such praises and care tonight…” you commented, happily accepting the glass and taking a sip of this round and powerful Gaul wine. Commodus looked at you in the eyes, devoted, obsessed.

“I serve to please you, my love. And Rome.” He answered in a whisper, you had recently taken the first place in his thoughts, managing to distract him from the turbulence and violence of the Senate. After all, you had one advantage…

“Then I hope that the night is only starting for us. As the roman tradition wants…let us start the year as we want it to be all year along…” you teased him with a smile he knew too well.

“And what could that be, my queen?” he asked, a hint of hope in his voice as if he was craving something. You slightly leaned forward to speak on the confidence tone.

“Kneel.” You requested; your voice only hearable by your husband. His eyelids briefly fluttered, as if he had been waiting for these words.

“How daring of you to ask this of your emperor.” He retorted on a dangerous tone, you were seeing the fierce lion again, untamable, unwilling to submit. But you knew it was a façade he pulled in front of the public and so his face softened. “But you are worth submitting too.” He whispered as he knelt after making sure no one was around, luckily you had gone to an intimate corner and on purpose. You savored as the mightiest man in the world, placed his hands on his lap as he looked at you from below, his eyes shining with devotion, love.

It was something you had understood soon enough in your marriage. Commodus craved submission, he could be the leader, the one with a speech that won’t be contested. He had a high position, yet he didn’t want power or wealth. All he desired was to serve people, his people, please the empire, please the Senate, his sister and you. You had dompted him, earned his trust, cracked the shell open to reveal a vulnerable boy seeking comfort to face the rest.

“Good boy.” You smiled, taking a step closer to cup his chin, lifting it a bit more as you leaned forward, placing a light and slow kiss upon his lips; he closed his eyes, sighing, relief washing over him, he had been busy all night with requests from senators and nobles, now he could let go. Your fingers made their ways down his neck, feeling his quickening pulse, sliding underneath his tunic to play with a thin leather string tied around his neck, pulling on it to press his lips more against yours, hearing his fists grab the fabric of his toga.

“Take your leave. I shall excuse you to our guests and join you when it’s done.” You ordered him as you parted from him, hearing him retain a whimper of happiness. By taking the lead you relieved him of suffering more the presence of political guests, he only had to leave and wait for your return.

Excusing the Emperor next to all his guests took as long as you expected, close to an hour. Commodus must have been on the edge waiting for you all that time, but as you made your way to the emperor’s private chambers, you found yourself remembering the first time you had attempted to tame Commodus during an intimate moment. Oh he had been furious as you resisted him and instead tried to reverse the roles. He had been confused as to whatever he was doing was bad, if he hadn’t been told about this peculiar power of wives, or if you were a danger to his position.

“I apologize if my attitude troubles you. I perhaps wrongly assumed you would enjoy this. I merely wanted to…” you had caressed his face tenderly, looking at him in the eyes with all the devotion you had for him. “I want to make you understand that you can fully trust me and let go whenever you are with me, you don’t have to pretend or be on your guards. We are past this, you know I adore you. I want to take care of you…” at his words you had witnessed a change in his eyes, in this moment of extreme vulnerability you had touched a sensitive spot.

“No one ever said that to me.” He had replied, moved, from the start he had trusted you, making you his greatest friend before asking for your hand; your words were the proof he wasn’t wrong about you. From that moment on, Commodus had surrendered to your hand, your will.

And here he was, tonight once again, as you penetrated the imperial chambers. He was waiting for you, stripped of any clothing but the leather string around his neck. He was in the same position as before, kneeling with his hands folded on his lap, his head lowered. He was shivering, both from excitement and cold. You quietly closed the door behind yourself, detailing him as he had recognized your footsteps, his breathing quickening, anticipation building, the temptation to look at you…

“Poor Commodus, you must have thought I had forgotten about you.” You cooed playfully.

“Never mistress. I trust you fully…I just worried that…” he started but was interrupted by your thumb on his lips, you were here now, and you would take care of him. You let go of his face and went to sit on the bed, facing him. “Everything has been taken care of. You did good tonight, pretending to care about their insignificant problems, they believed you, I saw it.” You praised him softly, gesturing with your fingers for him to join you.

Commodus’ eyes lit up, he went on all fours and slowly crawled to your feet. You loved to watch the muscles of his shoulders work as he did this, resembling a predator, almost. He came to brush his face against your knee, you could almost hear him purring. He exhaled happily, placing kisses on your thigh. “I will have them killed tomorrow.” He said with a grin but gasped when you grabbed his hair, pulling on them to make him look at you.

“Haven’t I taught you patience? Or have you forgotten already?” you asked, watching his pupils dilate, once again he was following his impulses too easily.

“I am sorry. I won’t kill them yet.” He muttered but knew it wasn’t enough, that he would be punished for it, after all, he had done it on purpose, he loved when you taught him a lesson. Your foot went to caress his legs, sliding between them, almost reaching his crotch but not touching it, your toes brushing against his inner thighs which squeezed in anticipation.

You clicked your tongue “Keep them open.” Your ordered, making him lick his lips. His arousal was starting to show, his nipples hardening just like his cock. You retracted your leg, and stood up, going in front of the bronze mirror. Slowly, you started to undo the pin that was holding together your tunic, letting the fabric slide off your curves, you wore nothing under for this special night. You heard him take a deep breath; you were starting to make it hard for him to control himself.

As you turned round, you met his eyes making him quickly turn his head away. You approached, a little smile playing on your lips, that boyish impatience of his had made you fall for him in the first place. You circled around him, your fingers tracing his shoulders “Patience is a virtue you can acquire…lay low, observe your enemies, watch them rip each other apart, let Pluto take them…all they want is that you act so you can make a mistake. Allow them to show who they really are, those old men haven’t much time left to live, they don’t have the time to be patient. The People will see who the traitors of Rome are.” You murmured, your tone almost playful, you enjoyed politics.

Then you moved away from him once again, Commodus could feel his skin grow cold, he craved your touch, to be buried in your reassuring embrace. He watched as you laid in bed in front of him, slowly parting your legs to give him a view on your Venus mount.

“Stay. Do not move Commodus. You will learn that with patience, you can get what you desire, and it tastes even better…” you purred, giggling as he swallowed down. When it came to lust, Commodus was full of eagerness, sometimes not even waiting to be in your private quarters but taking you in some dark corner of a corridor to slide his head under your tunic or chasing the servants out of the kitchen to roughly pound you on the table, loving as you slapped his face in fluster.

You hummed as your caressed your breast with your hands “I have missed your mouth Commodus...your poet lips dancing on my nipples…” you lightly pinched your bosom, letting out a soft moan. He adjusted himself, as if to be closer but he was already pressed against the edge of the bed, his eyes greedily following your fingers, how much he craved that breast. He watched your breathing quicken under excitement, his cock throbbing against his belly.

His eyes trailed down your body, to your glistening entrance, so ready to be tasted, filled. Your hand briefly shielded your pussy from his gaze, hearing a strangled whimper from the Emperor, how could you prevent him from watching you? Oh sweet torture from the wife he adored. He reached to touch himself but retracted his hand, you wouldn’t agree in that moment.

“Good Commodus, excellent…ah..” you moaned, praising him for resisting his impulse, letting him look again as you pleasured yourself, looking at him, your only source of desire, those scarred lips, his round and soft face, those curly raven hair begging to be pulled and those eyes…the most expressive eyes you had ever seen, so deep and passionate, dangerous…

Your pleasure was fast increasing, your pussy quivering with impatience, you even started to struggle with eye contact in fear of reaching your peak already. You kept circling around your soft spot for a bit more until you felt you had reached your limit, just like Commodus whose eyes had become teary with desire, he was panting, it took all his strength to resist you.

“Commodus…how do you feel?” you asked seriously, wanting him to feel the difference, to learn. At first, he seemed confused by your question, then focused, what would have happened if he had followed his impulses? He would be done by now, perhaps regret, understand some mistakes he did, feel relieved but would he be satisfied?

“I feel...powerful, as if I could accomplish the labors of Heracles. I savor the sight of what I have in front of my eyes, memorize every detail, think of the best way to act, how to please...” he answered, understanding what you had taught him, the benefits of patience and he was about to taste it all.

“Good.” you smiled, how beautiful, how fragile and yet how strong he was “Join me, your wife commands you.” You purred, he almost couldn’t believe it and grinned, finally! He quickly jumped onto the bed, closing the gap between you two, his lips crashing against yours, placing himself between your legs, his cock rubbing along your slit. Then, he guided it inside you, moaning loudly as he buried inside you, your fingers grasping his hair needily. His moans were raw, high pitched sometimes, his brows furrowed as if his pleasure had been multiplied, he could finally enjoy the relief of being reunited to his wife, feel your warm embrace around him. His senses were overwhelmed, sharper, he was conscious of every bit around him. He looked at you, smiling a bit among the moans, he understood what you meant. “How wise you are…” he praised devotedly your unusual methods, filling your face in kisses, thrusting passionately, enjoying your hands running on his back until your nail dug into his back, marking him once again with your love.

Soon, you found yourselves laying in each other’s arms, panting with your legs entwinned, your hand playing with the leather string around his neck as his fingertips traced your nipple gently.

“I never thought my marital life would be like this.” He said softly, deep in thoughts, he was at peace, a little smile on his lips.

“How so? Did imagine something radically different?” you asked, arching an eyebrow. You were a stubborn woman who knew what you wanted, you had always imagined a relationship of trust and power.

“Of course. The senators have wives they rarely love and instead countless mistresses. My father and mother was quite the affair…passionate. But she cheated on him one day with a gladiator, he caught them in the act and killed him, as the man laid dead in a puddle of blood, he took my mother again. Not long after…mother died in a military camp. Some say father poisoned her, other say she killed herself. All of this to say that we are not like the couples we see around us. We care and respect each other.” He explained, kissing your inner wrist devotedly “How many men can claim they can sleep with both eyes closed next to their wife? to talk about their political projects or to weep in their arms? You and I are blessed, the gods put you in my path…” he cooed fondly, looking at you in the eyes “No one stands a chance against us, and I lay the Empire at your feet Y/N.”

Tag list: @skaravile @lyoongx @weirdflecksbutok @stardancerluv @sgtsavoytruffle @ohcarlesmycarles @rajacero @niniitah-ah @morrisonmercurryphoenix @fly-like-a-phoenix @thatdummy-girl @galos-writing @hopelessdisasterr @buttergirlie @rosebloodstuffandthangss @clowndaddyfleck @jaylovesbats @dreamingmarie @just-a-fucking-comedy @lady-carnivals-stuff @sierraclegane @lemondedeniname @hvproductions @syvellsworld @papercut-paranoia @jokerflecker @bring-your-holy-water @five-miles-over @beatlebabe1996 @kfanniart @soulsfrostedheart18 @pstvchld @chiclunatic

#joaquin phoenix #commodus #commodus imagine #commodus x reader #emperor commodus

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random-thot-generator · 7 months ago

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Better Not to Know + Pt. 2

KYLE GAZ GARRICK x FEM READER

Summary: It's been months, but you've not been able to forget the stranger you hooked up with in a night club bathroom. Then again, it hard to forget someone who left such a lasting impression.

Warnings/Tags: no serious warnings, mild profanity, no smut this round, no use of Y/N

(Notes: This one wouldn't leave me alone either, so here's a second installment. Bit of a cliffhanger at the end. Yeah, I'm a literary sadist.)

banners & dividers by: @saradika-graphics

March comes in a like a lion, the wind and rain making it a misery to step foot out-of-doors. Small wonder that your boss decides to send you to pick up his dry cleaning for him instead of doing it himself. Why risk ruining his tailored suits and Italian shoes, when he could just send you, who bought your clothes off the clearance rack?

Umbrella clutched in your fist, you hurry along the sidewalk, dodging puddles and people as you make your way to the dry cleaners. You're relieved to see there's not a line, counting your blessings as you step through the door. An automated chime announces your arrival— bing-bong.

"Hullo. Can I help you?" A young woman with colorful tats sleeving her arms and teal hair gives you a customer service smile from behind the counter.

You pull the ticket from the pocket of your raincoat and slide it over with a tight smile. "Just a pick-up."

The young woman picks up the slip of paper, heavily lined eyes scanning the ticket before flickering over your damp, bedraggled form. "Be just a tick, luv," she murmurs, disappearing through a curtained doorway.

With nothing better to do, you drift over to a display of travel-size stain remover sticks, not bothering to turn around when the door opens, a gust of wind fluttering the hem of your coat. The automated chime sounds, drawing Tattoo Girl out of the back with what you assume is your boss' dry cleaning held aloft in one hand.

"Well, hullo, handsome!" she greets her new customer with a wide, toothy smile. "Got your uniform ready. Just need to take care of this lady first."

You don't look back to see who she's addressing, all your attention focused on fishing your boss' credit card out of your pocket. You do absently notice that the new customer smells nice. You catch notes of sandalwood and pine, a hint of musk, definitely masculine and strangely familiar. You also don't fail to notice how Tattoo Girl keeps glancing over your shoulder as she rings you up, the remnants of her wide smile still lingering.

"Here you go," she says, handing over the dry-cleaning bag and receipt, her eyes already focused on her more desirable customer.

"Thanks," you mutter, drawing the bag over the counter and draping it over your arm. Pulling the sides of your coat together, you turn, curious eyes flicking up to catch a glimpse of the man who has so distracted the pretty cashier, then almost trip over your own feet as you stumble to a halt.

"No bloody way," you breathe in a shocked whisper, staring up at the face that's been haunting you for the last five months.

His eyes widen at the same time yours do, recognition clear in his expression. "Christ, I don't believe it," he mutters, a mystified smile curving his sensuous lips. "It's really you."

You feel the same way. You can't believe it's really him, the gorgeous bloke from the club, Mr. Tall, Dark and Dangerous himself. "Um— wow. H-Hi."

His soft brown eyes register surprise but also pleasure as they lock with yours and his mega-watt smile appears. "Long time, no see, pet. How ya been?"

You gaze up at him dumbfounded, shaken all the way down to your sensible shoes. It's really him. Holy shit! "I, uh... I'm g-good. And you?" Christ! When did you develop a stammer?

He steps closer, his smile turning into something softer and intimate. "Been doin' alright." His eyes dart over your face, taking you in as if he still can't believe you're real. "This is bloody mad, innit? You wouldn't believe how many times I've..." He lets his words trail off, shaking away his dazed expression. "Ah, never mind. 'M just beyond chuffed to see ya again, pet. You look— lovely."

At least he's pleased to see me again, you think. That's a good sign, isn't it? You adjust the dry-cleaning bag in front of you, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

Tattoo Girl clears her throat, drawing your attention back to the counter. You glance over to see a perturbed little frown on her face, her eyes bouncing back and forth between you and the gorgeous man standing by your side.

"Oh! Sorry," you apologize, stepping away from the counter. You glance back up at him, feeling flustered and more than a little overwhelmed. Gripping the dry-cleaning bag closer to your body, you ignore the fact that you're probably wrinkling your boss' clothes.

"Ha. Making a right nuisance of myself, aren't I?" you murmur with a nervous titter. "It was, um, nice seeing you again, uh..." You give him a sheepish little grin, feeling terribly awkward and thoroughly embarrassed. "I-I'm so sorry. I don't think I ever got your, uh... name." God, how embarrassing...

He shuffles his feet and grins, looking a bit sheepish himself. "It's, uh, it's Kyle," he answers in a soft voice, holding out his hand. "Kyle Garrick." He dips his chin down to meet your eyes, giving you a teasing little smirk. "I don't think I got your name, either."

Taking his hand, you utter your name with a dazed expression as his touch sends warm tingles of awareness shooting up your arm. Neither one of you let go until the Tattoo Girl clears her throat again and sniffs in irritation.

Kyle's brows tick together in mild irritation as he shoots a quick look in her direction, then flicks his gaze back to you. "Would ya mind waiting while I take care of this? It'll just take a moment," he says, sounding anxious. "I'd really like to catch up with ya, maybe buy ya lunch or a coffee?"

Your head bobs in eager agreement. "Yeah, sure. I've got time."

Honestly, you didn't, but to hell with your boss. This is far more important to you.

Stepping out of the way, you wait by the door for him, your mind racing. As you stare at his broad back, your teeth worry at your bottom lip, wondering what he will have to say, then fret over what you're going to say to him. Is he just hoping to hook up again or does his interest go deeper than that? The way he's acting, it seems like it's more than that, but who knows? It's not like you really know him that well. Or at all, really. Jesus, this is nerve-wracking...

By the time Kyle has paid for his dry cleaning and is turning around, you have worked yourself up into a jittery mess. His smile dims as he takes in your nervous expression, concern plain on his face.

"Ya alright, pet?" he asks, stepping close to grasp your elbow. "You look like you're about to be sick."

Shaking your head, you offer him a weak smile. "No, no, I'm fine. I just feel a bit peckish," you lie, not wanting to make a scene. You can see Tattoo Girl staring daggers at the two of you, a petulant frown on her face. "Could we go ahead and get that coffee now? I think I need to sit down."

"Yeah, of course, love," Kyle murmurs, caressing your arm with a worried look. "C'mon, let's go."

He takes your umbrella from your numb fingers and opens the door, holding it for you as he snaps the brolly open over his head. Lifting his arm, he lays it across your shoulders, pulling you into his side as he shifts the umbrella to shield you both from the rain. Casting another worried glance down at you, he leads you to a nearby sandwich shop and quickly ushers you inside.

"Here we go," he murmurs, guiding you over to a table. He takes the dry-cleaning bag from you and drapes it over the back of a chair with his own. "Here, love. Let me take your coat," he offers as he steps behind you, and you're so flustered that you let him slip the coat from your shoulders before realizing your mistake. Quaking in your shoes, you turn to face him.

Kyle stands frozen, his mouth open to say something, his eyes now riveted on your waistline. You glance down as well then stare up into his shocked face, your hands going to your stomach to splay over the gentle swell of your baby bump.

A pained grimace twists your features as you whisper in a shaky voice, "I suppose I should explain."

part 1 part 3

#kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #cod gaz x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick #cod gaz

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drewmorg4n · 1 year ago

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Perhaps a soft and somewhat smutty transmasc insert x negan fic where he’s heavily focused on the readers surgery scars, just tracing them with his fingers and kissing them cause I just know that man has a scar kink

(Also this is just a fully self indulgent req)

Glass Scars

pairing: negan smith x trans male reader

wc: 4,621

tags: smut, fluff but it’s negan so you know, scar kink, oral (reader receiving), only masculine terms used

an: (this is such a basic fic title but my mind blanked out and i couldn’t come up with anything else) i know this literally took forever for me to finish but i think it’s worth it? maybe? idk but i really enjoyed writing this and i hope you enjoy reading :)

dni: cis/fem people…it’s self explanatory

(i tried to add in a really sexy gif here but i’m stupid and it didn’t work so </3)

“Jesus christ, that was a fucking shit show.” Negan exhales heavily. He’s currently hunched over, hands on his knees, completely out of breath.

After running into a small horde of walkers, you and Negan had to basically fight your way through them. There was nowhere to simply stay put and wait it out as they came at you from all directions and quickly boxed you in. Honestly, you were sure you were about to kick the bucket right then and there, but luckily Negan kept an eye on you and stepped in to help you as needed. You truly don’t know what you would do without that man. Die, probably.

“Yeah.” You agree softly, panting. Your pants and tee are basically drenched in blood and some small bits of guts, sticking uncomfortably to your skin. You have to stop yourself from gagging a few times as the smell of it all finally hits you. “We’re going back, right? I really need a shower.” You mention tersely, grimacing at your current state.

Negan sighs. “Fuck, babe. C’mon, you look so hot covered in blood.” He exasperates, slowly striding over to you and enveloping you by your waist, gently pulling you close.

You roll your eyes, though the small smirk attempting to cross your lips eventually betrays you. “Negan, please. This shit smells awful and feels disgusting.” You whine softly, starting to pull out of Negan’s grip even though you really don’t want to.

Negan kisses your cheek before you get too far away from him, his lips tinted red after. “Well, I think we’ve gathered enough supplies.” He mentions, glancing at the few duffel bags that you’d both dropped when the horde approached. “Yeah, let’s go back. This shit does feel fuckin’ disgusting.” He agrees, his form suddenly stiff and uncomfortable.

You nod in response, feeling relieved about Negan’s decision. After tucking away your knife and checking yourself over - making sure you didn’t drop anything - you make your way over to the bags and haul one up, resting heavily on your shoulder. As you move to grab another, Negan moves in the corner of your eye, catching your attention. You glance over and watch him for a moment; he slowly peels off his leather jacket, seemingly in a bit of pain. His white tee underneath is damp with blood, the fabric clinging to his skin. He may be in pain but he also looks extremely attractive like this. You can’t help the way your eyes skim up and down his upper body, taking notice of his hard nipples protruding his tee.

Just as he turns his head to look at you, you also turn, attention back on the bags. You repeat your previous movement with another bag, though luckily this one is a bit lighter. Still, the strain of them on each of your shoulders is definitely gonna hit you later.

As you try to make the weight as bearable as you can, Negan comes over and gathers the rest of the bags; three in total. Negan then leads the way, walking a short distance back to the truck. It was honestly a stupid idea to leave it, but the spot you guys were trying to get to wasn’t accessible by the road as it had been blocked off, which really left no other choice but to walk. You definitely wouldn’t be coming this way again without a few more men.

Just a few minutes later you’re piling the bags into the bed of the truck and soon after making yourself comfortable in the passenger seat. The drive back to the sanctuary shouldn’t take too long, but things aren’t always set in stone out here. You guys could stumble upon another horde or maybe even some people. All you can do is just sit back and wait.

You drift in and out of sleep throughout the whole ride, Negan’s hand a comforting warmth on your thigh. He laughs at you every time your head bobs forward, on the brink of sleep. You only have enough energy to groan softly, exhausted from your previous exertion.

Eventually you’re home, parked in the small parking lot beside the sanctuary. Negan squeezes your thigh a few times, getting your attention. “C’mon.” He says, nodding his head in the direction of the building. “Let’s get cleaned up, hm?” He offers softly, though his voice is deep and husky.

“Mhm.” You hum slowly, still half asleep and feeling very groggy. You manage to get out and step onto the gravel, hearing it crunch beneath your boots. The sound brings a wave of comfort over you, knowing that just an hour ago you were on the verge of death. The slam of Negan’s door rattles you from your thoughts, bringing you back to reality. You take a moment to gather your bearings and close your door, then you slowly make your way to the back of the truck towards Negan.

“I told the guys to get the shit in the back. I’m dying for a shower.” He sighs dramatically, waiting until you’re close enough so he can take your hand in his. He then leads the way, entering through one of the side doors and ascending a few flights of stairs before stopping at the third floor.

He trails down the long hallway, stopping at the door to his room. He lets go of your hand and enters his room, immediately chucking his shirt off and tossing it to the floor. You stand in the doorway for a moment, just watching him. He’s absolutely ridiculous but you love it.

Following him inside, you close the door behind you and lock it as usual. When you turn back around the only piece of clothing left on Negan is his boxers, which happen to also have a few spots of blood on them, probably from the thick liquid seeping through his pants. Lastly, he removes his boxers, sighing in relief.

You’ve seen Negan naked hundreds of times now but each time always feels like the first, sending a shock up your spine and a shiver throughout your entire body. He’s just so alluring and gorgeous, no matter how many times you’ve seen his body; he’s perfect.

You eventually begin to follow Negan’s lead, undressing. You move extremely slow as you’re still very exhausted, but Negan seems to notice this and is quick to step in and help. He unbuckles your belt and unzips your pants, undoing the button and letting your jeans fall down your legs. You hold onto his shoulder as you step out of them and kick them aside. The same movement is done when removing your boxers.

Negan’s hands are on your waist in an instant, skimming them up and down your sides, lightly scratching his nails against your skin. You have to bite back a moan, though it’s not from arousal; Negan’s hands just feel incredibly good and cause you to become even more tired.

“C’mon. I’m gonna fall asleep if we don’t shower soon.” You warn slowly, smiling softly as your eyes begin to close unwillingly.

Negan chuckles deeply, the sound rumbling in his throat. “Alright, alright.” He concedes, his hands coming to a halt. “I just love touching you.” He whispers, lips gracing the shell of your ear. He then plants a few gentle kisses along your neck, ending with a quick nip.

“Yeah, well, you can do that in the shower, y’know.” You point out teasingly, earning another chuckle from Negan.

“You fuckin’ bet I will.” He growls lowly, leaning in for one last nip to your neck.

From there, he finally obeys and leads you to the bathroom, quickly turning on the shower. You both idle for a minute or two as the water begins to warm up, eventually shivering a bit from the cool air touching your skin.

Negan steps in the shower a moment later, pulling you along. The warm water rains down on your head, running down your body and effectively warming you. Before you know it Negan’s massaging shampoo into your hair, the sudden touch startling you a bit. You quickly relax into it, though, tilting your head back and closing your eyes.

A good minute of massaging and Negan’s maneuvering you around the shower, letting the spray of water hit you directly. He gently rinses out the shampoo, placing a kiss to your temple afterwards.

“Thank you.” You say softly, warming even more at Negan’s lips against you. “Let me do you, too.” You offer, moving to reach for the bottle of shampoo and pouring some out onto your hand. After lathering up your hands you reach up and run your fingers through Negan’s hair. He smiles at the feeling, dipping his head down a bit so it’s less of a reach for you.

Once his hair has been thoroughly washed, you help him rinse out the shampoo, wiping away any suds that get too close to his eyes. You give him a quick, chaste kiss after, amused when he furrows his brows and pleads with his eyes for more.

“Later.” You counter, though you’re not even sure if you’ll be awake later. With the way you feel currently, you assume you won’t be, but who knows.

“Why do you always play hard to get?” He chides lowly, swooping in close and wrapping his arms around your waist.

You roll your eyes, offering a soft smile. “Negan, we’re both covered in blood and I’m fucking exhausted. I just wanna shower in peace.” You explain a bit firmly, though the smile covering your lips has yet to drop.

“Well, I can surely be of service.” He assures with a wink, immediately moving to grab your washcloth. After rinsing it out he grabs the bar of soap and lathers up the cloth. He then starts cleaning you up, rubbing the cloth against your skin to get rid of the dry bits of blood. Continuing on, he does the rest of your upper body and then your lower, humming pleasantly once he’s done and sees that you’re clean.

After he rinses out the washcloth and hangs it back up, he again grabs the bar of soap and lathers his hands this time. While you watch him, you immediately know what he’s about to do.

Negan settles himself behind you and slips a hand around your waist, resting gently against your lower stomach. His other hand follows but rests on your groin, soon moving down and slipping your cock between his fingers. The motion makes you gasp, feeling arousal start to build in your gut. When his fingers move down just a bit then back up, you can’t help the moan that slips past your lips.

You honestly thought you were way too tired to get worked up, but clearly you were very wrong about that. You know Negan is still just cleaning you up, but of course his movements are painfully slow - most likely on purpose - which isn’t helping your increasing arousal.

Eventually his movement concludes, removing his hand. You sigh at the lack of touch, somewhat wishing Negan would put his hand back even though you’re still exhausted.

You take a moment to gather yourself before you copy Negan’s actions, offering to wash him off. He lets you do as you please, ridding his body of sticky blood. When your eyes manage to drift down, you’re sort of surprised he’s not hard. With the way he was touching you, you fully expected him to be.

As you finish up, Negan’s hands rest on your chest, trailing down and stopping right above your diaphragm. “Couldn’t see your scars when you were covered in blood.” He comments softly, eyeing your chest. His thumbs glide along them, from edge to edge.

You’re quiet for a long moment, unsure of what to even say to such a comment. His thumbs continue to trace your scars, side to side. “That feels good.” You say, lifting your head to look up at him. He looks totally entranced, eyes following the movement of one of his thumbs.

“Do you know how much I truly adore your scars?” He asks gently, eyes unmoving from your chest.

“Well, I could guess.” You chuckle softly. A smirk creeps onto Negan’s face in return, eyes finally looking up to meet your own. He dips his head down and places kiss after kiss along your neck, trailing them down to your collarbone; each kiss elicits a warm flush throughout your entire body.

Eventually, you completely lose track of time, though; the water runs colder and colder and soon you’re almost shivering.

“Negan, c’mon. We used all the hot water.” You note, slowly pulling yourself out of his grasp. He practically whines at the movement, hands moving quickly to pull you back into him, though you refuse and step back, turning off the water. “I’m freezing.” You grunt softly, looking up at him with annoyance.

“You know I’m a fuckin’ human furnace, babe.” He winks, his usual sly smirk covering his lips. He moves to push aside the shower curtain, stepping out after. He grabs one of the towels set on the counter and unfolds it, holding it up in front of him. “C’mere, let me warm you up.” He offers, softer than before.

You reluctantly step out, quickly wrapped up in the towel with firm, warm arms surrounding you. Negan first dries off your hair, ruffling it with the towel until it’s just damp, then moves onto your body. He’s quick but gentle, working up then down, making sure you’re all dry. Now, without cold droplets of water covering your skin, you’re much warmer but you still feel a deep need for actual heat.

Right as you’re about to head out of the bathroom, aiming to find something warm to wear, Negan stops you with a gentle grip on your forearm.

“Wait. Don’t get dressed.” He requests quickly, loosening his grip on your arm.

You furrow your brows. “Why?” You question curiously, confused.

Negan doesn’t respond for a moment which just manages to confuse you even more, but the light pink blush tinting his cheeks distracts you until he does. “I just like seeing you; your scars, the rest of your body. I love it.” He admits softly, his voice trailing off into a whisper. His cheeks are now red rather than pink, which tells you he was probably nervous to confess such a thing.

Negan’s statement has you at a loss for words, though. Of course he’s not necessarily the softest person, he’s always sarcastic and vulgar, causing him to usually say all the wrong things, but throughout the time you’ve been together, his soft side peeks out more and more each day.

“Oh.” You sigh, trying to muster up the right words to say. “Thank you. I-I-“ You stutter, quickly stopping yourself from continuing. You can’t believe the second you’re vulnerable you immediately start stuttering. Although it’s somewhat expected, it doesn’t make it any less embarrassing.

Negan smiles, holding back a soft chuckle. “It’s alright, baby.” He assures, noticing the nervous expression etched onto your face and wanting to bring you some comfort. “I’m gonna dry off. Just go wait for me.” He nods, quickly kissing your cheek.

You give him a soft smile and then you’re turning around, heading out of the bathroom once again. You end up following through with Negan’s request, ditching your clothes completely. You’re not even that cold anymore, the embarrassment and slightest bit of adrenaline warming you. Once you slide onto the bed, making yourself comfortable on top of the silk sheets, you finally relax. After today, you definitely need a break from beyond the walls. Knowing Negan, he’ll probably be hesitant to let you out again unless he’s by your side, but you’ll worry about that when it happens. For now, you let your limbs go limp and sink into the soft mattress as you wait for Negan.

A few short minutes later the bathroom door squeaks open, revealing a naked Negan. He wastes no time getting into bed; he pushes apart your legs and settles himself between them, his chest against your stomach. He really is a human furnace.

Soon enough you feel his lips against you, kissing up and down your chest, your nipples, your scars. He hums contentedly as he kisses along each scar, from one edge to the other; he doesn’t miss a single spot.

You work your hands into his hair, combing it back as he continues his relentless kissing. After a few minutes, you realize you could definitely fall asleep like this; Negan’s lips grazing your chest. You’re already exhausted, so why not? You let yourself slowly drift off, eyes feeling heavier and heavier as each second passes.

“You’re so perfect, baby. So handsome.” Negan mumbles deeply, his throat and lips vibrating against you.

His soft words cause your eyes to pop open, feeling overwhelmed with affection and love. You somehow still haven’t gotten used to Negan’s praises; each time he says something even remotely good about you, your stomach flips and twists with the strongest feeling of appreciation. You’ve never felt so loved in your entire life.

“Kiss me.” You plead softly, almost whispering. He makes a noise similar to a hum but doesn’t stop what he’s doing. You pull on his hair gently but he resists, ignoring it and continuing his kisses along your chest. “Negan, please.” You groan, tugging on his hair again, though a bit harder this time.

He releases a throaty moan at the harsh pull of his hair, finally relenting and moving up your body, coming face to face with you. His usual sly grin is smeared across his lips, cockiness clearly flowing through him as he idles in front of your face, not making any attempts at moving closer and kissing you.

Feeling annoyed, you hurriedly grab the nape of his neck and pull him close, crashing your lips together. He chuckles at your gesture and struggles to kiss you back for a moment, but rather quickly he settles down and starts moving his lips against your own.

The movement of your lips started off fast but is beginning to slow and match Negan’s pace, which you really don’t mind. As long as you’re kissing him you have nothing to complain about.

Negan’s tongue dips into your mouth slowly, licking past your lips and grazing your teeth with his tongue. The moan that slips out of you is purely accidental but Negan certainly finds the noise pleasurable as his lips curl up into a small smirk.

His hands then skim up your body, stopping below your pecs. Once again he begins to smooth over your scars, each of his thumbs moving back and forth. You have no clue why he seems to be so obsessed with them, but it’s honestly a very relieving feeling knowing that your scars don’t bother him.

Suddenly Negan bites your lip, not hard but the gesture somewhat surprises you. As you relax into it, it feels good, almost intoxicating. Again you moan, wishing he would bite just a little bit harder. As if Negan is capable of reading your mind, he bites down harder a short moment later, eliciting yet another moan from you.

Fuck, his teeth feel so good latched onto your bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth. The sensation of it is almost overwhelming. An immeasurable amount of pressure and heat builds within your groin, quickly becoming unbearable. You grind your hips up, coming into contact with Negan’s cock, his warmth pressed against you lightly.

“Please.” You ground out after pulling out of the kiss, panting. Honestly, you’re not even sure what you’re begging for at this point, you just want to be pleasured, touched. Anything.

Negan hums lowly, smirking as usual. “What do you want? Hm?” He inquires deep but soft. He begins placing kisses to your neck and slowly trails them down to your nipples, kissing each one wetly as his thumbs continue to caress your scars. “What does my pretty boy want?” He murmurs into your skin, his lips vibrating against you softly.

Unwillingly, your hips buck, connecting with Negan’s lower chest. He chuckles against you, lips around one of your nipples. You open your mouth to speak but find that you simply can’t. Instead of words coming out of your mouth, a loud moan slips past your lips. Without even thinking you grab Negan's hair, both hands twined into bundles of strands. You pull up, even though that’s not the direction you want him to go in, you just desperately need to tug on something.

Negan groans softly at the pull of his hair, humming lowly after. Before he kisses down the rest of your torso, his tongue darts out and ever so slowly licks across each of your scars, making you shiver.

“Jesus.” You gasp softly, a bit shocked. Negan must really have a thing for scars. Either way, his tongue feels good on you, tracing side to side.

Once he seems to have his fill of your scars, he kisses down your stomach all the way to your groin. You whine as you feel his lips getting closer and closer to such a sensitive area, resisting the urge to roll your hips. He places feather light kisses to the inside of your thigh, trailing them up and down. He’s kissing everywhere you don’t want him to; not that it doesn’t feel good but you’re so pent up with arousal that it’s starting to hurt.

Tightening your grip on his hair, you quickly tug, his head now hovering right above your cock. His eyes flick up to yours, dark and teasing, his usual sly smirk covering his lips.

“Are you gonna tell me what you want now?” Negan asks lowly, feigning curiosity. “Cause I’ve got no fuckin’ clue.” He chuckles soft and deep, resuming his kisses; he’s so full of shit it’s painful.

Negan’s lips are now incredibly close to your dick and you want nothing more than for him to finally put his mouth to work on you. When his kissing doesn’t stop, you finally obey and voice your needs.

“Suck me off.” You whine softly, voice barely reaching a whisper. Your hips roll involuntarily, crotch brushing against Negan’s scruffy chin. Even that slightest bit of friction has you moaning again, just hoping Negan will put a stop to his teasing and finally give you what you want.

Negan laughs darkly, eyes half lidded as he looks up at you. His tongue darts out and skims across his lips, biting it softly as he slowly puts it back in his mouth. “I can’t decide if I should make you beg for it or not.” He teases, smirk never faltering. His fingers rub along your hip, digging in just slightly.

You tighten your hand in Negan’s hair, pulling on it. “Please.” You whimper softly, desperation filling your voice.

Your begging causes Negan’s smirk to grow even wider, his teeth gleaming at you. He’s clearly enjoying this but you’re not sure how much more you can take. You’re so pent up with sexual desire it’s unfathomable.

Negan then begins to plant kiss after kiss to your groin, leading down to your sensitive cock. The second his lips come into contact with your dick you can’t help but buck your hips. Negan’s fingers are quick to dig into your hips and hold you down, though his kissing never stops.

The slight sting coming from Negan’s nails digging into you isn’t unpleasant, it’s actually extremely endearing and only turns you on even more. You’re quickly pulled from the sensation by Negan’s tongue gliding along your cock. You almost scream at how good it feels, though it’s more of a choked moan which is honestly a little embarrassing.

Your embarrassment is very quickly disregarded once Negan’s lips close around you, gently sucking what he can into his mouth. Your grip on Negan’s hair tightens immensely, fearing you may rip out chunks of it, though you know he really wouldn’t mind which would definitely be comical in another situation.

Negan continues his gentle sucking, slightly bobbing his head. You’re still rolling your hips though there’s not a lot of movement since Negan is keeping you in a steady hold.

After about a minute or so, Negan begins to suck harder along with digging his nails deeper into your hip. Both sensations mixed together have you going crazy, heading towards the edge. Whimpers begin to flood your mouth, dripping out like liquid. You simply can’t stop yourself, nor do you want to. Your own moans almost accentuate your pleasure, which is odd but you’ll gladly take it.

Negan then hums while he continues his incessant sucking - almost as if he’s also moaning - sending ripples of vibration through your groin, intensifying your pleasure even more.

“Jesus christ, Negan.” You pant, arching your back off the bed completely. You can feel the way your legs are trembling, indicating your climax is approaching. Practically your entire body is covered in a layer of sweat, droplets running down your face and chest. You’re about to burst at any moment.

You can’t even control the movement of your hips, it simply has a mind of its own, bucking hard and fast into Negan’s mouth, though he’s still holding you down as best as he can. Eventually, though, he relents and let’s go, giving you free range. Holding onto the back of his head, you fuck into his mouth repeatedly.

He’s happy to let you use him until you finally come, hips stuttering and shaking as you continue to roll them. It’s such an intense, overstimulating feeling, but at the same time it feels like pure heaven.

Your whimpering only gets louder and louder as you ride out your orgasm, body trembling with pleasure. “Fuck.” You whine, voice hoarse and wavering.

Negan chuckles, which sends another vibration through you. It’s too much, though. You’re officially overstimulated. You yank Negan’s head off of you by his hair, freeing yourself from his mouth.

“Shit.” You pant, feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm roll through you. Negan looks up at you with half lidded eyes, smiling softly. There’s a single string of saliva leading from his lips to your dick, which elicits a small chuckle from your throat. Using your thumb, you gently wipe it away.

“Thanks.” Negan chuckles, resting his head on your lower stomach.

“Mhm.” You hum in response, smiling. “C’mere, let me return the favor.” You decide, smoothing your hands along his upper back.

Negan yawns. “I already came.” He states, looking back up at you. “You’re just so fuckin’ sexy when your cock is in my mouth, making all those pretty noises. Only had to grind against the bed for like, two fuckin’ seconds before I came.” He explains easily, feeling his cock twitch as he thinks about the noises you were making.

“Oh.” You mumble softly, extremely flustered from Negan’s admission. “So, you ruined the sheets?” You question, yanking his chain.

Negan huffs a laugh. “Probably.” He agrees, chuckling. He slowly crawls up your body and places a gentle kiss to your lips before laying down beside you. He’s quick to pull you into his side, arms wrapped around you.

You sigh and relax into his hold, resting your head atop his chest; the hair there manages to tickle your nose every now and then, but you really don’t mind - you wouldn’t change it.

As you listen to the sound of Negan’s heartbeat, you quickly find yourself drifting off into sleep, body and mind completely exhausted. You refuse to fight it and eventually you slip into a deep sleep, cradled by the only man you’ve ever wanted.

#negan smith #negan #negan twd #negan smith fic #negan fic #negan smith x reader #negan smith x male reader #negan smith x trans male reader #negan x reader #negan x male reader #negan x trans male reader #the walking dead #twd #the walking dead fic #twd fic #my fic

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sharpth1ng · 5 months ago

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Is Billy gonna break down and cry? I feel like he severely needs someone (Stu) to hold him while he cries

So yeah, Billy will cry and I’d say he’s already having a breakdown lmao. The crying isnt going to be super obvious though, it’s just going to be him saying his face is wet or something. He’s ashamed to be crying so it’s not something he’d likely admit (Toxic masculinity is a hell of a drug /neg)

He was crying at the end of debaser incase you didn’t catch it:

Honestly I think the ability to cry is something people take for granted at times. It’s actually a really good way to relieve tension and move on from an emotional experience, it causes endorphin release that can literally help reduce physical pain let alone mental stress.

But when you can’t cry you just feel blocked up, like a pot of boiling water with the lid welded on. You have to release it in other more destructive ways so you’re irritable, you explode at people and you take it out on yourself or you numb and distract yourself because there’s no other way to move on from the feeling.

And none of that stuff even really moves you past it, it’s all just a bandaid on a gaping wound but the bandaid was dipped in lemon juice because all of those desperate coping mechanisms have their own fallout and shame attached. So it’s a cycle.

But then when it breaks through enough that you do actually cry? It almost shocks you. Your body is so unused to the feeling that you can’t breathe and you feel like a mess and you don’t want anyone to see you even if you knew they wouldn’t judge you because you can’t stand the way people look at you when they’re worried about you.

So you only cry when you’re alone and you barely acknowledge it to yourself. And you probably belittle yourself for it too, like “Was that really worth the tears?” As if those tears are the product of whatever cued them and not the overspill of months or years worth of hurt that you never acknowledged. And then you don’t even know what you’re hurting about because it’s all just pilling up on itself, merging into this sprawling mess of carnage inside you.

So yeah Billy definitely needs Stu to hold him when he cries but he’s not going to let him, not for years at least. He’s going to keep being surprised that his face is wet.

#sorry lmao #progress is slow #it’s baby steps #nope not projecting #debaser fanfic #debaser spoilers #sort of #tw mental health #ask

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sundaycentric · 1 year ago

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Hi!! I heard you had requests open, and I wanted to ask if you were comfortable with writing Neuvillette reacting to learning about the fact his s/o is trans. With him being all supportive and just some wholesome fluff. :) Gn reader please, and I wish you a fantastic day!

neuvillette x trans gn reader

content ★ headcanons, trans reader, established relationship, not proofread, no specified agab or gender, fluff, sfw

note ★ IM SORRY OTHER REQUESTERS FOR DOING THEM OUT OF ORDER I JUST AUUGH.. this one makes me really happy bc im trans myself !!

Neuvillette noticed how you became a bit more nervous around him for the past few months. He can't understand why, but he doesn't want to overstep and push you. He wants you to tell him by yourself.

When you do tell Neuvillette, it's one of the rare days where theres no courts in session. The two of you have some time to spend together, outside of his work.

He can tell that you seem nervous throughout the date. His face doesn't change, but the skies darken some. He can't help but be worried, especially since he can't properly figure out what you're feeling.

At the end of the day, when the sun began to set and the two of you were content, you began to open up to him.

Neuvillette listened to what you were saying about how you don't want him to view you any different, and how you still want things to work out and hope he doesn't hate you. Neuvillette frowns a bit. Hate you? He could never.

When you finally do tell him that you're trans, he doesn't really react much. Except for the faint smile that grew on his face, and sky lightened a bit. Neuvillette knows what it is, and has more knowledge on queer topics simply because he has been alive for so long.

Neuvillette is relieved it wasn't something that would matter that much. He doesn't really care for your gender: you're still you. Especially since he isn't human, he doesn't think that much about gender at all.

Neuvillette will immediately ask you what you want to go by. If you don't know yet, he'll offer his help with picking you out a new name. If you do have a name in mind, he'll immediately switch over to it, as if you were always that name instead of your deadname.

He'll listen to you rant and vent when you need to. Neuvillette will be there whenever you need him. He may not have lots of advice or a suggestion, but he will try to comfort you.

Neuvillette will offer to help you get your name legally changed, as well as your gender on official documents. It still costs money, but he'll pay it all for you.

Neuvillette will go shopping for you when you're out. Binders, packers, tucks, whatever it is that'll help you feel more comfortable. People may look at him oddly when he is at stores, buying these, but he really doesn't care. Neuvillette's more concerned with your happiness.

He is very supportive. :) If you are transmasc, he'll try his best to give you some tips since he's masculine. If you are transfem, he'll get Lady Furina to help you out. She does, happily, and she'll advise you however she can. If you are transneutral, he can't do much, but he will listen to anything you ask of him.

#★ neuviyuan #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x y/n #neuvillette x you #trans reader #fluff #sfw #neuvillette #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader

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lienspien · 2 months ago

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tell me your rosechaser wisdom oh great one

My wisdom is I like vibes and they give good vibes.

To me they're that couple you would never expect to date but they date anyway and they are fucking glorious. Not because they hate each other or anything, but it's literally bcus they never interact with each other and have absolutely no reason to. They share no classes together, they don't know anyone who is connected to each other, like they basically shouldn't rlly know each other but they're actually dwting which is crazy

Evan is a chill guy, and that's what James needs. Someone really stable and chill with whatever he does. He doesn't have to think too much about what Evan thinks because he's usually chill about anything. And that's a first fir James because he thinks TOO much about people's feelings. He knows they like him, but he can't help but think a lil too much about it. But with Evan? His shrugs of "idk lol" and "perchance" is actually kinda relieving. At first James doesn't like it cus it's frustrating. Like "WHAT DO YOU AFTUALLY WANT AND LIKE???" and Evan is like "lol idk. Maybe you, and to be seen, but mostly you" and he's that simple and James just breathes a sigh of relief at simple. Because he cant understand hints, sure he's bright and observant, but he doesn't catch hints unless it was thrown to his face. He's simple and straight to the point but it doesn't come off as rude, just blatant idgaf energy and James loves that.

While Evan also enjoys easy. He doesn't understand people sometimes and doesn't liek reading into people too much. But James is a ltieral open book who knows how to communicate and never asks for more from him. He likes simple, he likes something tbat he can get used to and understand quickly, and James is just like that. Also Evan humbles James like NONE OTHER. Sometimes he doesn't even mean to humble James. He just accidentally does. James has an ego as large as the sky and Evan is the quick heat of the sun breaking through the atmosphere.

I mostly like them in modern settings, where th eyre gym bros and in the same car enthusiast group. They go to the same gym and spot for each other. James always reminds Evan to do legs and Evan always makes sure James doesn't quit his cutting. They are also both car enthusiast and could go on for HOURS about cars and speeds and all of that shit.

My favourite rosechaser fic idea lately is real men by mitski. Where they both struggle to fall onto standards on what a real actual masculine man is like. James is emotional and always so loving, people say it doesn't fit his large build and isn't manly. Evan is too detached, isnt very good at providing and isnt that strong, he was weak as a child and was always made fun of for it even if he grew out of it. They find each other to be so lovely and handsome, to assure them that they're both men either way and society can't dictate whether or not they are just because they feel emotions and look unfit.

Rhwy look at each other and see something easy, something cool, something light and relieving. Loving and holding each other is just as easy as breathing, talking to each other is like second nature and feels wrong when they don't. In a world full of scars, they're each others clean unmarked skin.

#iliyas yaps #james potter #evan rosier #rosechaser

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treasar · 5 months ago

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A twisted tale Chapter 4 | Dreamy |

My seven stars, you’ll forever be in my heart

The luminosity derived from the vermillion moon hanging in the dark sky with twinkling stars grants her the ability to glimpse the unknown place she has awakened to. Yet, it is insufficient to allow her to fully perceive her entire surroundings.

She somehow feels like she is laying on the soft mattress, feeling suffocated. But, the scent of damp moss tells her otherwise. Light breezes are dancing in the sky as if she is in heaven.

Her mind and body relax by themselves until

BOOM!

‘ What’s that? ‘ She jolts up. Her eyes wander around without thinking and then, spot the rings at the end of the field, which have turned yellow.

‘ Isn’t it- ‘ She frowns, noticing the familiar place she is in. Night ball field, which they call but, the thing is that no one used it although it is oddly clean and neat.

Just then, another strike echoes the whole world, snapping the girl out of her thoughts. She sneakily hides behind the wall, which is near to her while slowly approaching the rings.

It is indeed beautiful. When she looks around, she oddly finds no trace of people. Yet, no one is presented but, why would the whole field be lit? ‘ Something is not right ‘ She thinks.

In the corner of her eyes, she spots a shadow of someone. Out of curiosity, she follows it, taking a step lightly like a feather.

As she trails behind that person, a familiar yet unfamiliar back is facing her with oddly familiar purple hair. As if that person knows her presence, he stops. So she does.

Expectedly, he turns around, making her heart stop for a moment but she manages to hide herself. She hears a faint yet loud enough for her steps approaching her hideout, and her breath hitches.

She can feel his eyes wandering around suspiciously and then, turns to the other direction, continuing what he is about to do. She breathes heavily.

She peeks to make sure he is not turning her way and luckily, he is not. Her heart momentarily stops its momentum as she sees his face, enough for her to know who he is. ‘ Niki? ‘

‘ What is he doing here? Wait, how and why? ‘ She somehow feels relieved that she at alteast knows that her boys, she means the main leads are here although it is just one person.

“ Maybe I can talk to him. “ She nods to herself before showing herself from her hideout but Niki is nowhere to be seen. “ Where did he go? “ She frowns, totally confused.

The next thing she knows she is already hot on her heel, trying to find him. Despite being in high acceleration, she manages to check everywhere.

“ Arr! “ A masculine voice rings in her ears, warning her automatically. “ Niki? “ Her worriedness rises up. ‘ Oh no! ‘

Her body reacts to it immediately and runs in the direction where the voice comes from. It’s at the end of the field where the players rest, more like a locker for them.

She halts her steps as soon as she sees Niki, clenching his chest as if heartache is giving him trouble. “ Niki! “ She immediately runs toward him.

But, something inside her is stopping her as she can’t further move. A thick black smog is surrounding him. It’s like there is a switch in her mind that tells her that it’s his power.

He is getting eaten up by the darkness. She struggles to help him but everything she does is a total failure. Suddenly, he kneels down, still clenching his heart and head.

“ Niki! Don’t let them get you! Fight back! I know you can do it! “ She shouts, trying her best. “ Fight b-back! “ Pellets of tears steam down from her doe eyes without her knowing.

It is like something inside her clicks that prompts her body to regain its function. The next thing she knows is, she is on the ground, not able to move.

She has to drag her body to reach the boy who is on the ground unconsciously as well. “ Niki… “ She mumbles. ‘ Come on, Yon. Just a little more… ‘

But, her body can’t keep up as she drops to the grass softly, still conscious. She tries to open her eyes but, they become heavy. From her view, it shows the unconscious Niki, lying there with a black aura around him.

“ Niki, wake up! “

“ You can’t let that thing swallow you… “

“ Niki! “

" Niki- "

“ Niki! “ She shouts, jolting up from her bed. Pellets of sweat drip down the side of her face but speckles of goosebumps arise on the surface of her skin, feeling fresh all of a sudden.

Her book flashes a light, catching her attention.

Are you okie? You look like you just saw a ghost.

‘ Yea, how about you? ‘

I am totally fine!

‘ Are you sure?’

‘ Did he do something to you? ‘

He? Who?

‘ The attacker. Remember? He attacked us last night. ‘

What attacker? What are you talking about?

She frowns due to his weird behaviour. “ You don’t remember? “ She titles her head.

Remember what?

“ Seriously, Net? “ She asks with a hint of disbelief.

What? Did you take your medicine after shaking it?

“ He really has no clue about it. “ She frowns.

“ Was it just a dream? “ She whispers, not functioning at what is happening. “ Or did the attacker brainwash Net? Then, he would do that to me too. “

“ It feels real to say that it’s just a dream. The pain… The fear… “ She shakes her head aggressively, not noticing the certain groups of girls in front of her.

“ Ouch! “ All her books and things drop to the cold floor along with other girls’ books. “ I am sorry! “ She mumbles, quickly picking up her things and bowing again and again. “ I am sorry! “

“ Aren’t you-? “ The pink-haired girl speaks up, making Alex look up. “ Omg, it’s the Ace! “ The girl beside the pink-haired girl cheers, covering her mouth.

“ No way! “

“ She is the Ace? “

“ Omg, she is right! She is the one! “

“ I envy her “

Multiple whispers echo through the hall while Alex is in a confused state. She glances her back, making sure that the girl is telling about her or not.

“ Me!? “ She points herself, tilting her head. The girl beside the pink-haired latte nods excitedly.

“ You still don’t know yet? “ Alex shakes her head in reply. “ Oh, well. You got the highest mark in our school. “

“ Highest mark? “ Alex raises her eyebrow. “ Hmm! “

“ So, you are- “ That girl is about to continue but, a teacher suddenly shows up. “ Good morning, ma’am! “ Everyone greets.

Alex turns around in a flash and greets her too. “ Good morning, ma’am. “ Miss Moon’s eyes wander around under her large glasses.

“ Morning, students. “ She adjusts her glass before opening her notebook. “ The bell is going to ring in 5 minutes. Why are you all still here? “ She says without looking up.

No one answers her. But, as soon as her eyes shot up, all students automatically walk to their respective classrooms.

“ Miss Moon, we’re just congratulating her. “ A girl nervously grins. “ Congratulation, Alex shii! “ One of them says and the other says the same before walking away.

Alex sneakily tries to walk away but, much to her luck, “ Miss Alex! “ Miss Moon calls out. “ Yes, ma’am? “ She closes her eyes in nervousness.

“ Come to the office after all classes are dismissed. “ She calmly says. “ Yes, ma’am! “ She nods, still not facing the teacher.

The sound of heels clicking echo the whole way till she can hear it faintly. She breathes heavily as she doesn’t notice she is holding her breath this whole time.

“ What was it all about? “ The more she thinks the more complicated she becomes. “ Today is going to be hard than I thought. “ She sighs.

The weak sunshine is in front of her eyes, warm and cool with a little spicy theme. But, the gloomy sky is different from theirs. It seems the birds like this kind of weather as it is singing happily while flying freely.

It’s the opposite for Alex, who is not in the mood to do something simple as her whole head is full of confusion. “ Bye, Ace! “ It’s the nth time, they call her like that, which the poor girl has no clue about.

She lazily yet nervously takes steps toward the office as the school is over. She can hear her heart pounding against her chest as if it would jump out of.

“ Calm down. You didn’t do anything wrong, right? “ She pats her chest softly while sighing heavily. “ You’re good, Yon! Fighting! “ She cheers, which always does when she is about to meet the teachers.

But, fate is not looking after her as the door suddenly wides open, making her poor heart stop its momentum and stumble if not for the support of the door handle.

“ Oh, Alex! You are here. “ Miss Moon smiles, which scared the girl more. She walks in with tiny steps. “ Take a seat! “ The teacher demands.

“ Here “ Miss Moon places a piece of paper, which seems like a poster in front of Alex. The girl’s eyes automatically glue to that, analysing everything.

“ …getting highest marks in Quiz? “ Again, about the highest marks. She looks up, ready to ask a question but, the woman is already looking at her. “ Yep, you got the highest marks. “

“ Oh? “ She deadpans, still in a confusion. “ It isn’t a normal quiz. “ She answers as if she reads the girl’s mind.

“ We call them, carnival “ She states. “ Carnival? “ The girl repeats when she hears the familiar word. “ A quiz that is held once a year. “

“ With some prizes, of course. “ She says. “ However, some questions there are not taught by us so it’s totally new for you guys. But, as I say, it’s Carnival. There is no need to be worried if you didn’t pass the quiz. “

“ Our ambition is simple. It’s to know our students’ improvement. “ She sits on her chair. “ However, those who passed this will achieve small gifts from our school foundation. “

“ But, there isn’t any of them who passed this with a flying colour except you. “ She continues with an amusing expression. “ You amaze us. “ She states while gesturing with her hands how happy and proud she is.

Alex confusedly smiles at her while nodding out of nowhere. “ As per our rule, someone who passed this quiz with the highest mark will get to attend an advanced academy of ours. “

She cheers. However, the girl is looking at her with pure confusion. “ Well, if you don’t know. That advanced academy of ours is teaching the same course here but, with intelligent yet outstanding students there. “

“ It isn’t like that student here is not intelligent and outstanding. I mean students there are greater than you can imagine. “ She nervously states. The girl is looking at her like okay.

“ Umm, so, you will be moving there in three days “ Her comment makes the girl widen her eyes. “ Three days? “ She jolts up without her knowing.

“ Yep, in three days. Actually, the principal wants you to move there quickly but, you know, all the dormitories are a bit occupied so um yeah. “ She sighs thinking about the principal.

“ But- “ The girl pauses as it is like she forgets how to speak. “ No, but! You should grab this chance. It’s a good opportunity for you. “ The woman stands up, staying beside her. Silence fills the whole room.

“ As you see, it’s rare to get this chance. As your classroom teacher, I am so proud of you. Do your best there! “ She starts, petting the girl’s shoulder.

This tone of voice suddenly reminds her of the memory of her and Miss Kim, when the teacher is cheering her before entering her painting competition.

“ Thank you, Miss Moon, “ She blurts out, a stream of tears dripping down from her glossy eyes. Miss Moon smiles sweetly at her.

“ It isn’t like we are not seeing again. You will see me there too although I am not your class teacher anymore. “ She chuckles, hugging the crying girl.

“ Don’t miss me too much, okie? You still have three days to see me! “ The teacher jokes to light up the mood, to which the girl chuckles.

“ Read this when you reached your room. “ She hands a blue envelope. “ Don’t show this to anyone, okie? Since you are special, it is too. “ She says with the sweetest voice.

The girl nods while wiping her own tears with the sleeves of her uniform.” Alright, I am going now. I have to attend the meeting. “ The teacher says and hurriedly disappears from her sight as if her rent is due to.

Under the vermillion moon, hanging in the dark yet dim sky, a glimmer of moonlight is enough to show her presence. But, her dark grey hoodie and black jumper cover her.

She is now in the Night ball field, where she was here last night. The difference is that the whole field is dark and there is no trace of using this as if it is abandoned long ago.

“ There is no way it is just a dream… “ She whispers, touching the place where she and Niki had collapsed. She closes her eyes, trying to feel something but, all she feels is nothing.

She glances at the front, where the rings are supposed to be there. Emptiness is what the air says. “ Impossible! “ She shakes, debating her mind.

She lowers her head in tiredness as she makes her way to the frontbencher before popping down in the seat. But, she immediately stands up from a cold yet hard seat, which startles her sense a bit.

She glances at the letter, which is given by Miss Moon. “ Maybe I should read this while waiting for them. “ She says, making herself comfortable as she is going to wait for the boys, her mind telling her that they will not appear.

She goes through the congratulatory letters from the principal and her timetable and the place where she is going to study. “ Ooo, I am going to study here. That’s why Miss Moon says I am going to see her. “

What makes her surprised is the timetable. “ No way! “ She gasps, dropping the paper from her hand. A wave of surprise passes through her as if electricity enters her body because it says…

“ Classes start at 9 p.m and end at around 2 p.m “

a/n: a story where main characters are appeared only after ep 3 is kind of crazy right- well, yep, that's me- ^3^ \(￣︶￣*\))

To read next chapter ^_^

#enhypen #dark moon #engene #fanfic #nishimura riki #vampires #enhypen ff #heeseung #sunghoon #sunoo #jay enhypen #jake enhypen #jungwon #treasar'sstoriesss #cringey

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puptoy · 1 year ago

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The following fantasy includes: a little bit of piss, werewolves, cnc, outdoor sex, stalking/voyeurism, facefucking, talk of breeding, possessive behavior, musk/scent marking, humiliation, gender play (a sub with a pussy who likes to crossdress/present masc, referred to as "bitch" a lot, "wife" one time, "boy", and with female anatomical terms), size kink

Imagine you're a werewolf (or some other pent-up and feral beast of your choosing) and I wandered too far into your territory. There's nobody out here in these beautiful woods as the sun starts to set, but I'm new in town, so I figure it's a lucky coincidence. I think I'm extra safe because I'm wearing masculine clothes; people don't tend to bother me for hiking alone when I look like a guy. Big hoodie, cargo pants, my hair cut short but grown out a little shaggy.

But you don't care about any of that. You can tell just from my scent that I'd be easy to breed. And more than that - you can tell I'm lonely. Can't smell any other humans on me. You don't normally do this, but you're so pent up yourself... Something about me is driving you to desperation. You follow me at a distance for a little while, just to be sure it's me that has you reacting this way, aching, your cock heavy and swollen half mast just from thinking about it. And as the full moon rises higher, you keep thinking: this little human is here for me. Why else would they come here? Has to be for me. Your instincts keep telling you I'd be a good little mate.

Finally, you see me looking around a little clearing, the ground padded with soft clover. I check over my shoulder to make sure I'm alone and can't see you (humans have terrible night vision, poor things). You watch me pull my hoodie up and hold it between my teeth, exposing my tummy, the place where my hips curve up to my waist, the little trail of hair that goes down from my navel. I unbutton my pants and push them down along with my boxers, stepping out of one leg, then the other, bent over, exposed. You see the way I carry weight on my soft, plump ass and thighs and you think about mounting me.

Then I squat down low to relieve myself. And I just look so vulnerable like that, my thighs spread out wide, a hand braced against a tree for balance as I try to keep from stepping in my own mess. You can smell things I don't even know about myself; you know I'm ovulating. Your eyes fix on my pink pussy, on display for you, and your instincts take over entirely.

By the time I hear your low rumbly growl, it's way too late to run.

I make a pretty cute effort, though. You chase me for a few yards, easily catching my arm and pulling me against you. I freeze for a moment, feeling you solid and hot against my back. You're huffing against my neck, licking and grazing your sharp teeth against my shoulder, making me shiver.

You're so keyed up at first, it's hard to get words out, but you've heard communication is important in relationships. You manage a low, "Bitch. Wife. Mine."

Shocked out of my freeze, I jerk and shake my head, coming up with the first panicked excuse I can think of. "No, ah, oh fuck, I'm not- I'm a boy, not your wife, wrong person, sorry-"

You don't see how that should matter when I was clearly made to be yours. You push a hand up under my hoodie and touch me all over - my belly, my waist, my soft little tits - while I squirm and gasp and try to get away. Twisting me around so you can kiss me, you lick into my mouth until I've settled and then speak against my lips. "My boy. Bitch boy," you insist.

I make a noise that's half shame, half gut-punch arousal. I didn't know being called names like that would turn me on so much. Amused, you lick my neck. I moan. As far as you're concerned, that settles that.

You pin me down hard under your heavy body so I can barely move, but I still thrash when I feel you pushing one of my knees up to part my legs. My heartbeat is pattering so quick I sound like a prey animal. You slide a hand down my hip, between my thighs, laughing softly when you feel it, murmuring, "So wet." And then you're rubbing little circles into my clit, honing in on what makes me wetter until slowly I go from struggling and kicking to softly whining and spreading my legs a little wider for you.

You purr, "There, that's right, good boy." You tell me you're gonna take me right here. That you're gonna keep me in your den and breed me over and over. Mate me, keep me. I'm out of my mind, but I nod and say "Yeahhh" as you let your fingers dip lower.

You feel my slick entrance, watching the way I lift my hips to chase the touch. I spread my legs even wider. Your fingertips press into me, and even that is a snug fit at first. Even as wet as I am, it'll be a struggle to fit your cock in me. You can see it when we grind against each other - your thick, monstrous breeder cock bobs down under its own weight, the length of it going up past my navel. You tug my hoodie up and lap at my sensitive tits to soothe me, but you think it's cute how tense and tight I get around your fingers when I notice how big you are, how deep you're going to get inside me. "Oh god," I breathe, "It won't fit, we can't, I can't-"

You grind against the crook of my hip, getting off on the thought of making it fit. Your mate is so cute, so soft, so easy to push around. You pull your fingers out of my pussy and shove them in my mouth, growling, "Suck." When you feel my tongue moving obediently, you nuzzle my chest, proud. "Good. Mine. Gonna be a good bitch, use your lil' cunt, train you t'take it. Mount you every time I need it. My cocktoy, good boy, mine..."

Perfect. It's all perfect and you love me, love your mate. You could fuck me right here but you're too impatient, so you just keep going, making possessive promises and playing with my mouth while you frot against me. You rub and hump against my belly, my thigh, my hip until you cum with a feral whine, long ropes of thick cum landing on my skin. And that's... Mm. You like that.

Oh. Fuck. You don't know what it is, but you like that a lot.

You gotta make sure I smell like your bitch.

Making me kneel on the ground, rubbing your cock on my face, making me lap against and worship your full, heavy nutsack. Rubbing you cockhead against my lips, smearing them with pre until I open up and suck. At first enjoying the way I suckle and swirl my tongue around the tip, then grabbing a fistful of my hair and sighing in pleasure when you push into the tight squeeze of my throat. I'm trying my best to swallow around you but it's just too thick. Such a mess, drooling down my chin, tears in my hazy eyes.

Cum against my open mouth and tell me not to swallow until you say so. Bite an obvious mark into my neck, and then finally stand back up pick me up. Take me to your den and keep me.

#i do pee in this one but its not really about that #me and him #outdoor nsft #monster fucker #size k!nk #primal play #boybunny hours #nblm nsft #breeding k!nk

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transdimensional-void · 5 months ago

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my headcanons for trans!myne:

urano's past-life memories are awakened within amab myne

myne decides that because of his body and because his family only knows him as a boy, he should just think of himself as a boy

keeps unintentionally slipping into feminine language because it feels more natural. myne assumes this is because urano used feminine japanese and it's just a bad habit he needs to overcome.

struggles more than he expected to switch over to masculine language but manages to force himself to eventually. however, it takes constant work, and he can't understand why. he’s in a boy’s body now, so shouldn’t it be easier?

lutz notices his occasional slips into feminine language and asks about it. myne claims he's just doing it as a joke, but lutz remains suspicious.

myne doesn't even realize that she exclusively uses feminine language within her internal monologue.

tells his mom that he doesn't want to cut his hair just yet because he wants to try a longer style. he's seen men with ponytails so feels it's still masculine enough and doesn't dig too deep into why he wants it longer. he's already invented rinsham at this point, so his family just accepts that he's got some weird obsession with his hair.

lutz notices the longer, shiny, nice-smelling hair and compliments him on it. myne feels confused happiness and then realizes that being complimented by a boy makes him all flustered. oh no! could he be gay? what even is this society's attitude toward gay people?

tries asking around about gay people and generally gets an answer like, "everyone's gotta marry and have kids, don't they?" which doesn't really answer the question he's trying to ask, which is "if i'm gay, will that get me in trouble?" eventually, effa's like, "myne, you'll have to marry and have kids someday, but you and lutz can still be close if you want to be," and myne gets so flustered he stops asking questions.

lutz confronts myne about not being the real myne. myne confesses that he used to be someone else. lutz asks whether the person he was before myne was a woman. myne says yes, and lutz nods as if that makes sense. for some reason, myne feels really relieved, but that's probably just because lutz isn't going to tell anyone, right?

one day when left home alone, myne decides to try on the baptismal dress effa's been making for tuuli "just out of curiosity." she cries because it looks so nice on her.

the same thing happens with the hairpin they make for tuuli. she's starting to suspect this being a boy thing isn't working out exactly how she expected.

when effa starts working on myne's baptismal outfit, she decides she at least has to try. she tells her mom that she wants to wear a dress to her baptism instead of pants and a shirt. effa nods, smiles, and agrees to sew myne a dress for everyday use as well. myne is shocked. she never suspected that it would be that easy. effa laughs and explains that sometimes that just happens. jurgenschmidt society is fine with trans people, as long as they fulfill their societally-assigned gender roles.

no one bats an eye when myne starts wearing a dress and using feminine language. she finally feels like she's really at home in this world.

fast forward to myne staying the winter at the temple after becoming a blue shrine maiden. it's her first morning in the temple, and she gets summoned to ferdinand's chambers. he takes her into his hidden room, and she prepares for a lecture, but he just sighs and says, "you should have told me when you first entered the temple that your body was different." and myne is like, "huh? different? oh, right." because she genuinely forgets a lot of the time that she has a penis, so much so that ferdinand didn't even question her being a woman in her past life when he looked into her memories. she realizes delia must have noticed when giving her a bath last night and reported it. she tries to apologize, but ferdie just waves her to silence while tapping his temple. "i will need to rethink my plans for your future," he says, and myne's like, "uhhhhhhh, what?" but he doesn't elaborate, and after asking her a few questions about her life as a commoner, he sends her back to her rooms.

it isn't until later, when ferdinand explains to her that she will likely need to marry a noble someday, that she understands what he meant about his plans for her future. ferdinand explains that she will need to marry a man who is capable of bearing her children or have a mistress on the side to provide children for her. myne starts desperately thinking of ways to avoid either of these fates.

fast forward to myne starting to attend the RA. during her return to ehrenfest for the dedication ritual, ferdinand takes her into his hidden room and introduces her to the potions she will begin taking once she is sufficiently recovered from her time in the jureve that her body begins growing again. "potions? like the ultra-nasty rejuvenation potions?" but he shakes his head. "no, these potions are to help you develop the type of body you want." and then he explains that as she grows, she can use these potions to control whether or not her voice changes, she grows facial hair, she grows boobs, etc. myne immediately makes a grab for the titty potion but ferdinand slaps her hand away and reminds her she's still recovering from her time in the jureve.

hartmut and lieseleta both become experts in mixing the potions to help myne manage her body's changes through puberty, and she finally begins using them during her third year when her thinned mana allows her body to begin growing again. she's just sad that ferdinand isn't there to celebrate this moment with her.

when lestilaut tries to woo her at the tea party, she reveals that she is incapable of having his children, but he immediately brushes that concern aside with a, "i don't want you for your ability to produce children. that's not where your value lies." she internally clicks her tongue that the ace up her sleeve turned out to be useless.

during her fourth year, in the garden of beginnings, as anvachs begins to grow her body, she desperately reminds the gods that she's a girl and she wants a girly body with huge titties. when she's finally done growing, erwaermen explains that anvachs was so excited about making her look like mestionora, he hadn't even heard her request. myne gets a chill thinking about how close the gods came to fucking up her entire transition.

after rescuing ferdinand, myne is baffled when various people who know she's trans, starting with hannelore, start suggesting that she marry ferdinand. "it might be a political marriage, but i'm not interested in having a mistress on the side!"

it isn't until she rushes back to ehrenfest's castle to warn ferdinand that people are trying to marry them to one another that ferdinand casually drops the bombshell, "my body is different too, rozemyne."

yeah, that's right this is also a trans!ferdinand AU ha ha bet you never saw that one coming XD

anyway, everyone's fine with myne and ferdie becoming a couple since they're t4t and the two of them laugh all the way into the sunset with their happy qpr marriage

the end

#ascendance of a bookworm #my headcanons #trans!myne

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exquisiteserotonin · 1 year ago

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Precious Possessions Chapter 4: Mastermind

I lied last week, obviously, not the final chapter. Who knows along this will go. It ends, when it ends. 😏

Series Summary: Defense intelligence conferences are always the same informative but also always boring. You didn't expect anything different for this one, but an unexpected meeting with a man named Dave York, changes the trajectory of your conference experience and maybe even more.

Previous | Next

Pairing: Dave York x Fem!Reader, Dave York x You

Word Count: ~2.4K

Rating & Warnings: Explicit, ��MDNI!!!🔞 This fic contains, but are not limited to the following, dom!Dave, spanking, bondage, overstimulation, PiV sex, creampie, oral (f! and m! receiving)dirty, dirty talk

A/N: Not beta'd (all funky grammar an spelling things are my own).

Plans are beginning to take shape.

And as always a big, big thanks to my slut collective @blueheat1-blog @best-little-secret @basicoccult @redhotkitchen @legendary-pink-dot @sparklefarts38 @arcanefox207 @imalrightllama

Chapter 4: Mastermind

You sat on your plush, cream-colored couch, a blanket covering your lap as you sipped a cup of tea on a Thursday night. Nearly a week had passed since you had come home from the conference. You should have been relieved and relaxed to finally be in your cozy and quiet townhome, away from the noise and the toxic masculinity. Instead, you sat here having flashbacks of the excruciating ecstasy of Dave’s hand slapping your ass, being tied up while he ate your pussy like it was his last meal, and how his massive cock sent orgasms through your body that nearly split you in two. Before he even slipped a finger in you, you both knew you’d never be able to go back to your normal life. Instead of reading a book or binge watching your favorite tv show you replayed one of your conversations in your head.

“What are you talking about?” He asked again as he sat up, resting against the headboard.

You sat up on your knees, playing docile for him you couldn’t stop staring at his large cock.

“Did you think it was a coincidence that we met, Dave?” You purred. “Some people would say I’m exceptionally gifted at what I do, it only took a little bit of digging to find out about your extracurriculars.”

You remembered him getting angry with you.

“You have no idea what you’re asking me.”

Yes, you did.

“Yes, I do.”

You crawled towards him on all fours.

“Teach me to do what you do.”

You remembered how dark his expression was, how low his brow was furrowed, but also how he licked his lips the closer you crawled towards him.

“I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

From your hands and knees you lowered your face to his cock. He could look at you, scold you, spank you, or tie you up but you knew he wouldn’t say no.

You remembered that he didn’t answer for a while, and he shuddered with a moan as you touched the tip with your warm lips.

Then you remembered him grabbing your hair.

“If we’re gonna do this, you have to do everything, and I mean everything, I say.”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Now give me that pretty, little mouth again.”

****

Falling asleep on your couch only to wake up in a daze to traipse to your bedroom was becoming a nightly occurrence since you got home. This evening threatened to follow the same pattern. Nearly 8:00 pm and your eyes were already starting to feel heavy from a cocktail of boredom and exhaustion. The singsong chime of your doorbell camera alerted you to someone outside and you were suddenly awake. You looked at your app and raced to the door to confirm who was standing on the other side.

“Dave?!” You gasped as you swung the door so hard that a gust of air swept at your hair. “What are you---?”

He stood before you with the hungriest eyes, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you in for a messy kiss before you could utter another word. As he kicked the door closed behind him, his large hands slipped under your shirt, kneading your right breast until he was rolling and pinching the nipple, forcing you to yelp. As he corralled you to the couch, you pushed against him weakly trying to get him to offer you an explanation. His lips gripped yours, fast, searing, and desperate to taste you. Your center, ass, and legs were suddenly cold as he pulled your sweatpants off you and onto the floor.

Finally, he gave your lips the briefest of respites until they found another set of lips on your body that he was more hungry for.

“Da--ahh,” you cried as his tongue licked a long, slow, deep stripe into your folds.

He devoured you with his unforgiving tongue and lips. His wet hunger mixed with your essence sent tingles that undulated outward to every nerve ending in your body. Moans of his name were all that could leave your lips as his tongue lapped into you and as his lips sucked on your bundle of nerves until you were uncontrollably writhing, shaking, and screaming his name.

“One,” Dave growled, sitting on the couch next to you while pulling you on top of him at the same time. His cock sprung upwards after he unzipped and pulled down his pants. He pumped himself for a few moments and lifted you, teasing your entrance with his erect cock.

“Ride,” he demanded as he helped you lower you onto him, bucking his hips up to thrust into you.

His fingers gripped the skin of your hips like a seatbelt keeping you in place. You bounced and rolled on his cock as his hands marked your hips that he was claiming as his own. He was so deep inside you this way and with each grind and thrust you felt his tip reaching into your deepest center, nearly sending you over the edge every time. Searching for a way to retain some semblance of control, you reached behind him and started massaging his balls. A rich moan traveled from his throat as you touched him. In your head, this would have made him cave to you, would have given you permission for you to make him yours for a little while. Yet, with every move and push of his cock inside you, he reminded you of how wrong you were and how in control he was. As if that weren’t enough, he swiped the pad of his thumb across your sweet bundle of nerves, circling it with furious determination as you bounced on his cock.

“Fuckin’ ride me, firefly,” he said his voice coming out in a low thunder, the movement of his thumb growing faster. “Fucking missed your tight, little cunt.”

You tried to form words to tell him how much you missed him too. How much you missed being impaled by him, but all that came out was moans and screams. The tight, sensitive shivers intensified as he kept working at your clit while fucking into you, bouncing you up and down. You desperately tried to brace yourself against him as his cock pounded your spongy center until all you could do was clutch at the cushions on your couch as you screamed out his name in desperation and ecstasy as you reached you high.

He laughed again, pressing your torso into him as he sat up. His tongue blessed your nipples with aftershocks to add to your orgasm.

“Two,” he murmured.

Counting. He was counting how many times he made you come. Your chest heaved, with hot breaths and sweat that illuminated your skin all the way to your ears.

“Can you give me one more, firefly?” He teased, rolling you onto your back on the couch. “Strangle my cock with this tight pussy?”

“I, I--,” you tried to will the words out of your mouth through the overstimulation.

He was your drug and you needed your fix.

You watched in a misty gaze as his dark eyes fixed themselves on you with something even deeper than a primal hunger for you. Your body nearly melted at the touch of his hands as he pushed your legs close together, pressing your knees up to your chest. The ragged breaths that escaped his mouth as he lined himself up at your entrance set fire to the air. A forceful slap of his stiff, wide cock had you crying out for him.

“Fuck, Dave, please!”

He pushed himself into you, stretching you, his skin causing every fold in you to flutter as his thrusts quickened.

“Can’t stop thinking about this pretty pussy!” He growled. “Couldn’t stop thinking about it, when I had to fuck her.”

His words would have made any other woman stop at the thought of him filling up someone else, even if it was his wife. It sent your ego soaring and you clenched him tighter in response. A loud, rumbling groan left his lips and he pounded into you faster. The most sensitive part of your core, began to roll and rumble sending a wave after wave of pleasure that had you searching for anything to grab onto to brace yourself for its arrival.

“So--fucking--tight,” Dave growled as he held onto your legs in vice grip until you screamed his name over and over, not caring if your neighbors could hear you through the walls, “choking my fucking cock.”

With one final push Dave emptied into you, keeping his cock tight into you for a few moments to feel every tremble your body made for him. Intoxicated in the afterglow, you rolled over with a gasp when he pulled out, trying to regain some semblance of yourself. He gave a quick slap on your cunt and then on your ass, evoking one last desperate moan from your cherry lips.

“Where’s your bathroom, firefly?” he asked with a low, raspy chuckle, admiring how you lay breathless and weary because of him.

You gestured down your hallway, weakly. Laying naked on your couch, all you could muster was a soft giggle of ecstasy. After deep breaths, the kind you practiced during yoga, you felt yourself recovering. It felt like a dream as you saw him walking back to you, naked and confident like he was in his own home. He put on his boxer briefs before sitting next to you on the couch.

“Clean yourself up and come sit in my lap,” he stated as he patted his leg.

You nodded and ran to the bathroom to clean yourself of his cum, its stickiness imprinting itself within you. You brushed your hair quickly and then returned, taking your place on the throne of his lap just as he had asked. His right hand wrapped securely around your waist while his left hand ran over the surface of your legs. There was almost something domestic about it. Another deep breath forced you to force that thought from your head and you took his chin and turned his face towards yours, biting his bottom lip.

“What are you doing here?” you inquired, nursing his bottom lip with your thumb.

“You mean other than fucking you?”

You rolled your eyes as you waited for an explanation, hoping it would ease your anxious thought that someone, anyone might know what was going on between the two of you.

“Yes, other than that.”

“Carol and the girls are out of town for a long weekend,” he smirked, “a girls scout camping trip.”

“Mmm, lucky me,” a giddy mischief boiled up inside you. “So I have you all weekend long.”

You straddled him and grabbed his face in your hands. He wrapped his arms around your waist, giving you a discerning look that consisted of a furrowed brow and dark, determined eyes.

“Oh, I see,” you replied, feeling the warmth of your afterglow cool on your skin. “Mixing a little pleasure with your business?”

You tried not to reveal any kind of disappointment. The sides of your jaw tightened as you narrowed your gaze to his face, trying to read the expression on it. A veil of realization covered you, understanding the importance of his unexpected arrival to your home.

“You are my business; you wanted to learn, firefly, get dressed.” Dave ordered, swooshing a large hand to your ass with a firm slap.

“Yes sir,” you growled, nipping at his lips and grinding into him.

“I said, ‘get dressed,’” he reiterated through gritted teeth as he grasped her by the wrists, “I don’t need the distraction and neither do you.”

You stood up, taken aback with how quickly he shifted from pumping you full of his cum to a man who so easily and systematically killed people like it was a nine to five job. His eyes stayed on you intently, a smirk painting his lips in appreciation of the view that was you. Upon your return you were clothed in a pair of joggers and a sweatshirt. You found Dave dressed in sweatpants and a v-neck t-shirt, his laptop open and on. A close examination of his screen revealed an already comprehensive, electronic dossier created for Brad from where he was born, where he’s lived, all his schools, jobs, and relevant figures in his life, an asterisk by the name of his father, a lifelong diplomat.

“Nice homework,” you remarked, “but an easy find on the internet.”

You felt the gravity of the situation grow heavier on your shoulders when Dave gave you a cold, harsh glare in response to your quip.

“Rule number 1: you get cocky , you get killed.”

You straightened your posture at the words and nodded in acknowledgement. Dave excelled at this for a reason. Remembering the intensity and hard work it took you to excel in your job helped you to reframe your perspective of how you expected Dave wanted you to act. You pulled your hair up in a ponytail, hoping to show Dave that you were ready to listen and learn. With his leg he pushed back the stool next to him at your kitchen counter and you took it, moving closer to him.

“I’m not going to make this easy on you, firefly,” Dave said, the tone of his voice void of any expression or urgency, “but we need more than what I have and the only way I can get it is through you.”

“I’m listening,” a tightness formed in the back of your throat, “what do I have to do?”

“I’m oversimplifying it,” Dave replied, “but you have to do whatever it takes to get Brad to trust you.”

An initial, uneasy chill traveled through your bones at the words. It lasted fleetingly, as something different and indescribable took over your brain. You could work with this, especially with someone as slow-witted as Brad. The sweet memory of how you got that lecherous teacher fired replayed in your brain. This was really just the next logical step from that. An anxious excitement brewed inside you as you turned to Dave.

“So…when do I get started?”

Brad, the poor bastard, he would never see it coming.

#pedro pascal character fanfiction #dave york #equalizer 2 #dave york x reader #dave york x f!reader #dave york x you #dave york smut #dave york x female reader #juice bar collective #juice collective

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im-not-a-l0ser · 11 months ago

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Okay, I want to talk about the Trans Richie headcannon. I'm not going to say anything bad about it, this is just some ideas and opinions about it, regarding it as canon.

I like the idea that if Richie and/or Trevor were trans, they'd be given an alliterative name set originally. Like Richie and Rachel, Trevor and Tracey, or Samantha and Sabrina; something like that. And then when one or both changed their names, they were so relieved that their names didn't start with the same letter anymore. Maybe they even hated it so much that they'd like... go by Chel, CeCe, Sam and Rina. Shit like that, that'd be so funny.

I would really like to see a show about how they grew up. As much as I don't know how to feel about a cis person playing a trans character, I also wouldn't want Richie played by anyone else— *the idea of Jae Hughes as Richie* Okay, that'd actually be pretty sick, and you could have both Trevor and Richie on stage without Jon having to do a bunch of quick changes, or prerecordings, and you could even have them on stage at the same time, but YOU GET WHAT I'M SAYING! Anyway, I think it'd be really neat to have a song of Richie post-transition and Richie pre-transition singing about how they feel out of place, or how they have this secret that they have to keep, pre-trans not being out at all, and post-trans having transitioned in stealth mode. It'd be cook to see 'her' looking in a mirror or something, seeing post-trans Richie there because that's what they want to be. Some fuckin' reflection from Mulan shit, y'know?

Maybe it's just that I want to see Her as a musical, maybe that's my problem... I mean, now I'm thinking about it, and I'm right. I want that so fucking bad. Like, just imagine that for me, will you? I keep specifically imagining a scene of Jeri and Jerry berating 'her' for being too masculine as a song— I'm sorry, I'm being such a dork.

If Jon Matteson did a stream where he read trans richie headcannons and fics, I would fucking cry, especially if Her was included, since I'm very proud of it thus far.

I need like... a 5+1 fic of Richie coming out to people, I'd love that.

I forgot any other thing I wanted to say, just give me a second.

Oh, okay, here we go. I like to think that Richie is a cosplayer (my sister disagrees with me, so I know that some people don't agree) but I like to think that him cosplaying masc characters is one of the things that helped him realise his identity. This has nothing to do with the fact that after I started cosplaying TSS I got more masc and embraced that side of me, I don't know what you're talking about.

I wonder what Jon Matteson (and Will Branner, and everyone else) thinks about Childhood Friend Michie, not even them together romantically. Bc like, I fully understand not understanding that ship; I don't fully understand it myself, despite literally shipping it. But them as childhood friends? It almost makes too much sense, whether or not Max knows Richie is trans. Either way, you can make it make sense in some regard. I particularly like how @24-guy handled it in their trans richie story, but I won't spoil that for you (that's also their user name on ao3)

I think that's all I got for now, maybe I'll make a part two when I'm on a proper dose of adderall that actually does anything for me.

#my dad accidentally ordered the wrong dose so now i might as well not be taking it #it might even be making me worse idek #anyway #if jon matteson sees this im gonna cry #nerdy prudes must die #starkid #richie lipschitz #max jagerman #trans richie lipschitz #trans trevor lipschitz #trevor lipschitz #npmd headcannons #-her-#me geeking over my own story for more than i should

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sorensolsikke · 7 months ago

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Am i a therian? A furry?

People of tumblr, i am gently asking you to help figuring out what the hell is going on

So yeah well

The desire to look non-human accompanies me since such deep from the past that this feeling became the very home, the shelter of my identity.

Yes, of course, i am autistic, i have a paper on it, yes i have ptsd and untreated adhd and i am queer, so i guess wanting to get away from the difficulties of being part of the human society is logical, but like.

Understanding where the feeling comes from shouldn't erase the experience itself.

I recall wanting to growl and purr, moving tail and ears since i was at least two and a half. Of course, i had grown up along many animals, my parents had worked with service dogs, and in one hand, small children learn languages so easily, why would be animals' body language so different? I just got fluent in it– And in the other hand, wanting to have ways for easier self-expression is such a common autistic experience.

But these thoughts lingered, transformed, grew as years passed. Of course i always played with animal toys, or roleplayed the animal company in games with (my very few) friends, but that's not very dramatic, not like other memories linked to the topic, for example.

The very first time i got penalty in school was in the second semester of first grade, when i growled at a girl who bullied me, and then i bit her. That's very strange of a memory, because it made me feel so guilty, so childish, that i didn't let it happen ever again. But that doesn't mean i didn't think about it anymore. When i moved schools and other bullies came and i just couldn't defend myself because of extreme empathy i think, i always imagined myself as a blue dragon, growling and roaring at people. It was, and still is, the easiest way for me to understand my own anger.

What i really feel alone with is that how these fantasies, images became the very pillars of my self-image.

I remember having the idea of wanting to be a dog first, when i was the smallest. I said goodbye to that imaginery when we had to sell my first and only puppy whom i loved dearly, because he was aggressive. I got obsessed with cats instead, then horses, and finally, the perfect mixture of every kind of animal: dragons. Anyone who walks into my room mentions how many dragon related things i have in there. I emphasize that i am 17.

But the reason i started to talk about this all how it forms the way i want to look.

For instance, lately, i've got a long mullett, which i style with a hair straightener in a way it looks like i've got animal ears. While it makes me somehow relieved, at the same time it leaves me with the longing for more.

I want hoop snakebite piercings, so to give the impression of long canines. I cannot stop thinking about this, even though i know very well that my father wouldn't approve it. I just found a really small thing that would make me feel better about myself, and i want to achieve it, quickly, because yk, there are so many things i cannot change.

There are some grotesque ideas in my head how'd i want to look like since i was very little. I've always stepped on tippie toes so to raise my ankle long, up towards my knee, like it is with dogs, cats, horses. I wanted my ears to be pointy, and i crave the black line connecting the eyes with the mouth, what the cheetah's have – therefore i absolutely loved face painting from a very young age. I've always wanted wings and tail, long tongue, and defined muscles; a bunch of these are somehow managable, but others are so distant. It doesn't usually hurt me, like not having a dick hurts me on some masculine days, but the cravings are there, and i think about them a lot.

What i want to ask is: what does it make me be? Am i a furry with a dragon fursona? Am i a therian, am i experiencing some kind of species dysphoria? I know labels aren't quite needed, but is there anyone sharing my experience? Where are my people? Dunno i guess i just don't really want to be alone.

#therian #otherkin #therianthropy #soren's hoard of words #alterhuman #nonhuman #furry #lgbtq #pls pls pls #theriotype #pls help #someone tell me im not the only one #therian community #otherhearted #therian things

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nothorses · 6 months ago

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hi! u can ignore this of course but I’ve just decided i’m trans again (long journey) and I had some questions and idk who to ask!!! again you can totally ignore this if you want!!! like i literally rediscovered i might (probably am) a trans guy last night and i’m sort of freaking out as for now. when i first thought i was trans i didn’t really like myself so this was easier but now i do and it’s sort of a totally different experience than what i was used to.

A big worry is, I like my face. like, I really like it and really care about being pretty and I don’t dislike myself generally just think i’d make more sense as a guy and that I’d be happier like that. i’d like to look a bit more masculine but just enough to look like a really pretty guy instead of a woman. can i still be trans or like should i look into my feelings being about something else ? and is there any chance i could achieve what i want with my face while still taking T (I really want the fat redistribution)? I’m also absolutely terrified about losing my hair and i’d heard it depends on my father? but i took the hair gene from mom? i don’t know.

I’m also really worried about dating? I’m bisexual but I’ll probably just date men (i like masc women but have never really met any that aren’t lesbians). I’m not mourning being able to be with straight men bc i’ve really always avoided them (no shade i just never could stand the thought of dating them which is actually one of the reasons i figured out i was probably not comfortable being a girl). Still I’m worried that queer guys won’t look at me twice?

I’m also going to be in a new, big city in september and should i just start by telling people i’m a guy? since i’m long-haired and don’t plan on changing that and i definitely won’t be on hormones or anything by then, I certainly will not be passing. I can do some voice training but I’m not sure to what degree that will help. I’m thin and have no curves that can be seen through most clothes so i don’t think that when clothed anything will be just outright obvious but i think if i speak to people it will definitely be obvious. should i specify i’m trans or just introduce myself with my very obvious male name and give no more explanation? I’m also autistic and was already terrified of never making friends (i have a good group now and tbh there’s no chance they’re going to be cool about this and i’m already mourning them lmao) and now the fear is worse.

If I had to weigh pros and cons i’d definitely say there are no pros to this thing that i’m thinking of doing, but i can’t imagine any future as a woman, (maybe not really as a man either but if i had to choose). I have trouble imagining myself with a straight man or in a wedding dress at this point or things like that, and there’s just been this disconnect lately. i like myself when i look in the mirror but maybe i’m just excited about being conventionally attractive. Still when I imagine myself it’s a flat-chested person. I’ve also been fighting for my life to not be trans so that might mean something. I’m afraid on wasting another two years on thinking i’m trans when i’m not, but the more i’ve grown comfortable and comfortable with myself the more i realized i couldn’t relate to women. Now that I’ve figured out i’m wondering about how to get through the summer w people that don’t know me and wearing a certain kind of clothes. I’m so worried.

Sorry for the vent or whatever this is. you can ignore and i do realize i sound absolutely crazy i’m just freaking out atm.

First off- congratulations on the gender journey! I know how hard it can be to go through something like this, but coming to understand yourself better is such a wonderful, rewarding, relieving experience, and I'm so glad you're taking steps towards what feels good for you.

And second- it's normal for that to be scary, too. It's normal to feel some fear and hesitation when you start to unravel who you are, and what that might mean. You're not alone!

It sounds like you might be feeling some time pressure around this, and my first piece of advice is that if you are feeling like there's a deadline and you need to rush to a conclusion or action before then, that's a really good sign that you need to take a step back, slow down, and breathe. It's normal to feel some urgency with this sort of thing, but ask yourself where that's coming from. It's one thing to want to "stop wasting time" because you know what you want & you don't want to keep waiting for it, but it's another entirely to feel like you have to make a decision to meet some kind of arbitrary deadline.

If you aren't sure what you want but you feel pressured to make a decision anyway, you should slow down. If that deadline is being imposed by some external force, ask yourself what it might look like (and feel like) to slow down and miss that deadline anyways. I really love the phrase "slow down to speed up": most of the time, trying to rush something causes complications and missteps that make the whole thing take a lot longer than if you'd just slowed down and done it right in the first place! If you're not ready, you're not ready. Let yourself be ready at your own pace.

That aside, I'll try to answer your other questions:

"can i still be trans or like should i look into my feelings being about something else?"

You can do whatever you want forever! There's no benchmark you need to meet in order to be trans, and nobody else can tell you if you're trans or not. Honestly, I recommend setting that whole label aside for a while, if you feel bogged down by this kind of question. Who cares if you "count" as trans or not? What matters is what you want, who you want to be, and what feels good to you. Labels should be used to describe what you already know about yourself, not the other way around.

Lots of trans people want the exact same thing you've expressed here, so you wouldn't be alone! And some cis people want that, too.

"is there any chance i could achieve what i want with my face while still taking T (I really want the fat redistribution)?"

Yes, there's a chance! How T impacts you is super dependent on genetics, so you may end up looking the way you want to... and you might not! I also personally found that what I wanted from T actually changed after I went on it; I ended up loving a lot of the changes that I thought I wouldn't like so much. Ultimately, my decision to go on T was mostly based around the knowledge that I was not happy with my body as it was, I did want a lot of the effects of T, and I decided I would be happier rolling the dice and trading off what I didn't like then for what I might not like later. I also decided that I could go off T at any time if I decided that I didn't want those changes anymore, and that I would be making the decision to be on T each time I took it, rather than once and forever.

"I’m also absolutely terrified about losing my hair and i’d heard it depends on my father? but i took the hair gene from mom?"

Male pattern baldness (MPB) comes through the X chromosome. If you have XY chromosomes (like most people who are AMAB), you inherit one X chromosome from your mother, and one Y chromosome from your father. If you have XX chromosomes (like most people who are AFAB), you get one X chromosome from each parent, so you can inherit MPB from either parent.

MPB is also treatable; if your hair starts to thin an abnormal amount, or if you're just worried about it (or have MPB on both sides of your family) you can ask your doctor about treatment options. There are topical options as well as oral medications, and while I have heard it's much harder to reverse, it's actually fairly easy to prevent.

"I’m worried that queer guys won’t look at me twice"

My boyfriend is a cis queer man... many such cases. Queer guys will absolutely look at you twice. Some will look at you thrice. Many will look at you twice entirely because you are trans, and some of those will be doing so because trans people are hot and they see us as people (and not just sex objects for their own benefit).

Also, I really recommend basing your transition on your personal happiness with your body and self first; if the people around you can't be happy for you, they genuinely are not worth keeping around. People who care about you in a real and healthy way will be happy for your happiness!

I'm so serious about this, anon. My dad changed his whole opinion on trans people when I came out because he a) did not want to lose me, and b) saw that it made me happy. The man was conservative (and maybe still is...?), but he cares about me enough that he reconsidered his whole worldview for me. You deserve that kind of love. Everyone does.

"I’m also going to be in a new, big city in september and should i just start by telling people i’m a guy?"

I like your idea of just telling folks you're a guy with no further explanation! This also really depends on where you're going, if you think you'll be safe in doing this, how long you'll be there, if you'll be starting T/expect to see changes.... etc. If you were, for example, going to Seattle for a few months and wanted to try the "guy" hat on for a bit just to see how it feels, I'd say go for it! If you feel like you'll be reasonably safe and you think this is the way you'll want to continue to be perceived for some time, that would also probably be a solid choice. But it's context-dependent, and I think you might need to feel it out for yourself and ask some folks with more context!

I also want to challenge the "girl/guy" binary I think I'm reading in your ask: you don't have to choose one or the other! Nonbinary people exist, and there is such an incredible range of experiences and genders outside of the male/female binary. So many people relate to so many of them, in so many different ways! Infinite gender experiences! If you feel comfortable as a man, that's awesome; if you feel like you might be something else entirely, or both, or one of them and some other stuff, that's also great! If this is all new to you, please take some time to learn more about nonbinary genders & experiences from nonbinary people. I promise it's more than worth it.

You are not alone, there are so many people who will love you for whoever you are, and good luck!

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minevn · 1 year ago

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how would the LI's react to meeting the mc's parents?

Idk how to word this better

No worries, I think you worded this just fine! :3 I kind of let you decide how your parents would react to them(like finishing thought wise)

Minato: He's a nervous wreck honestly! He asks his grandparents for help and he also asks you for help. Like should he dress up more nicely? What things should he avoid talking about? Any interesting conversation starters that he can use? Should he bring gifts? In the end he does end up dressing up more nicely, but not too formal, he just wants to look presentable. He also brings flowers, if your parents aren't allergic to pollen, if they are then he might opt for fake flowers but his second gift option is food. He's so so so nervous that the entire time he basically needs to hold your hand. He has notes of things to say that he uses and he also answers your parents questions nicely! He does get more comfortable by the end of the night but when he leaves he's all nervous again, recalling everything he said and if he messed anything up. He feels good though, as long as you're by his side.

Haruto: Canonically- He met your parents at a very young age, his mom introducing him to you and your parents. Honestly, all he did was say "hi" and bow. He didn't really like to talk to a lot of people when he was younger. But he would open up and become closer to your parents the closer he became to you, and even more so when his mother passed. Noncanon- He'd be kind of nervous meeting your parents, although you wouldn't be able to tell. He's got this air of confidence surrounding him and it looks like he's got his shit together. He dresses up all nice and stuff and he does ask you questions about your parents beforehand, like what they like and how not to act, like he doesn't want to act too confident and come across as narcissistic, but confident enough to seem reliable. The meeting would go great, at least he thinks it went well. He'd ask for your opinion after you two step outside for some air or to send him home. He really wants to be accepted by your parents, even if you tell him it doesn't matter and that you'd stay with him either way.

Jun: Canonically- Met your parents when they dropped you over for a sleepover. He was VERY shy when he was younger and mainly just hid behind his parents. Never really got close to your parents which makes sense since Jun didn't even get that close to you until semi-recently. Noncanon- REVERTS BACK INTO THAT NERVOUS, SHY PERSON SHE WAS BEFOE! She's panicking! She doesn't know much about your parents. Would they support her gender identity?? If she's meeting your parents she'd rather dress more feminine since she doesn't have a lot of masculine clothes, would she look feminine enough to make them think that she was born a female? She ends up asking you all these questions of course. If your parents aren't supportive of the LGBTQIA+ then she'd change her appearance to match more what your parents would accept. If they do, then great! She feels a lot more comfortable and just lets loose, choosing to be herself. He's still very nervous, but he gets through it. He acts like how he does around you, except more toned down, but still very outgoing and she does cling to you during the meeting. She'd be so relieved if everything went well and they liked her. Trying the make them her parents as well💍

Hoshi: He doesn't care YES HE DOES! HE CARES SO SO SO MUCH! Honestly, the best behaved you've EVER seen him. He's nice to them, he's nice to you, and he does pretty good at controlling his nerves and answering any questions without stuttering. He compliments them a lot and when he saw one of your parents making dinner he asked if he could help in any way. Overall, he likes to think it went well! Next time he'd probably bring them a gift and kind of gets upset at himself for not thinking of that(He'd definitely bring them some yummy food, let them know that he can cook well and that their kid is in good hands, in terms of being fed well anyways. I wouldn't call being around Hoshi "In good hands" LMAO

Habiki: He pretty much acts the same. He's pretty nervous and wants them to like him, but this is who he is y'know? He's not going to sugar coat himself to MAKE your parents like him. He does get them a gift, like flowers. He remains seemingly uninterested until your parents talk about you when you were younger or when they ask him about what he likes to do, which of course he excitedly responds with "Playing the violin!" He does ask them questions as well, like what kind of music they like, or their favorite meal. If they ask the infamous "How did you meet? Tell us the story of your relationship." He hides nothing. He flat out admits that he used to be a huge ass face to you but is really happy that you gave him a chance and that he gave you a chance because he can't imagine life without you. No matter how it went, he's just proud of himself for being honest.

Kage: Y'all are LATE to meeting your parents because HE. WONT. STOP. PASSING. OUT! He dressed up nicer, maybe a little too nice. He looks like a five year old going to a formal event. The blazer is too big on him and he looks a little silly. It's very Kage. He has his other eye showing, which is VERY rare! He's worried about how they'll react to his heterochromia, but figured that having his hair in his eye would be even more unsightly. He slicked his hair back using too much gel and he got so nervous that he looked awful that he ended up buying them like 10 things to try and win them over. Your parents probably laugh at him. He can't even seek solace in your touch cause he'll pass out. He stutters the entire time and he keeps pulling out his little notebook that has things to say. Some are questions and then the other half is cheesy compliments towards you to show your parents how much he loves you. (He never met your parents canonically, always hiding.)

Kei: A cake walk for Kei honestly. He's perfect, what does he need to be afraid about? He looks great and well groomed, he looks confident and ready. He already treats you amazingly(ignoring the manipulation) He has planned a list of questions to ask and has thought about every question your parents might ask him. He greets your parents politely and asks if he could help with anything. He answers every question asked honestly. He likes to hold your hand throughout the night and he enjoys talking to you just as much as he enjoys talking to your parents. Your parents can really see how much he loves you.

Yani: Do you REALLY want Yani to meet your parents? Yani won't change itself to be more liked by your parents. Honestly, Yani doesn't really care if your parents like her or not, she just wants YOU to like her, and you're dating her so clearly you do. She's not shy around them at all and just acts normally, she's still just as clingy towards you and loud and strange. She basically admits to murder to your parents. "I would cut off the ends of everyone else on this planet so it just me and mc! I'm already working on that project! Oh, but don't worry, I'll save you guys for last!" She thinks it went well, you still love her right? Yeah? Then it went fantastic!

Aki: Canonically- She met you parents at parent day at school! She wanted to meet your parents and get hers and yours to be friends that way you can have sleepover and come over all the time! Aki was an outgoing child and hopefully became close with your parents as well. During high school she spent a lot of time at your place to get away from her shitty parents and really looked up to yours if you have good parents. Noncanon- She'd be pretty nervous. She doesn't feel like she really looks approachable so she makes sure to be as upbeat and smile a lot so your parents get the impression she's a good person. She doesn't really take notes on any questions or anything, just takes it as it comes. After the meeting, she'd ask you how you feel it went and will probably ask you to ask your parents how they feel about her. She'll cry if they don't like her and be so happy if they do.

#💝-minevn #visual novel #yandere vn #🎤-asks #🐠-Minato #📙-Haruto #🎀-Jun #🍽️-Hoshi #🎻-Habiki #👤-Kage #💻-Kei #💕-Yani #🐍-Aki #nothing gives me more life then teasing Kage #he's like a rat #and i love him

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