#me geeking over my own story for more than i should

[thewadapan]

Sat down to watch the Be More Chill musical on my computer through legal means and got sucker-punched by the fact that the show was basically butchered when it was revived for the 2018 Off-Broadway production, I can only assume as a direct result of the casting of Will Roland in the lead role as Jeremy.

Roland apparently auditioned for Jeremy in Be More Chill in 2015, and was snubbed in favour of Will Connolly, who you hear on the first Original Cast Recording. In the meantime, he went on to perform in Dear Evan Hansen, which turned out to be phenomenally successful, and he won a couple of awards, which I assume is why when he came back to Be More Chill in 2018, the new song "Loser Geek Whatever" was added, becoming the new end-of-Act-1 number. This song, which is basically just an extended solo for Roland where Jeremy sings about resenting his social status and wanting to be cool (an emotional state which has been painfully well-established by this point), is like nails-on-a-chalkboard to me. It's like a caricature of what you'd imagine Be More Chill to be like if you haven't seen it.

If it was just one song, I guess I could grit my teeth and just skip it, but sadly Roland's performance and vocals are about as consistently offputting. It's difficult coming into a role which has already been originated by another actor, and putting your own spin on it, but I just think he fucked it. I can only describe his delivery as aggressive, angry and entitled instead of self-effacing and sardonic. He's so incredibly punchable. It's unbearable. I think it completely changes the tenor of the story. I'm not the only one; a quick google search yields tons of results for people making a similar point.

Anyway, I realised I'd never actually seen footage of the original 2015 Two River Theater production, just audio, so I went to look for it. Will Connolly's performance, by contrast, is far more naturalistic and precise; a lot of his mannerisms are subtle and awkward, his expressions are guileless, his delivery is earnest. Jeremy is still a little shitstain, but more in an "argh, what are you DOING!" way than a "fuck you fuck you fuck you" way. The only known video of the Two River production to exist covers just the first half-hour; maybe a third of the show. There's complete audio for the rest. Plus, of course, the studio recordings of the songs. And when it comes to musical theatre, it's like, yeah, same as it ever was—but for me this is my own personal Star Wars Special Editions controversy, where the only extant version of the story is one where it's like a madman has combed back over it to fuck up as many things as possible.

An animator called Claudia Cacace on YouTube produced several animatics for the show, splicing the studio recordings into the Two River audio, with lofty ambitions of eventually adapting the whole thing. I think a lot of her directorial choices are brilliant, but again, she only really touched Act 1—and last year she released an unfinished animatic, announcing that she was done with the project because people were being insane about it online. Again, same as it ever was. I can see some other YouTube users have valiantly attempted to compile playlists of animatics from various animators to cover the whole show, but what's the point, if the overall look and quality of the thing is wildly varying every five minutes?

Maybe I should go read the original novel. I hear it's good.

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Okay, I want to talk about the Trans Richie headcannon. I'm not going to say anything bad about it, this is just some ideas and opinions about it, regarding it as canon.

I like the idea that if Richie and/or Trevor were trans, they'd be given an alliterative name set originally. Like Richie and Rachel, Trevor and Tracey, or Samantha and Sabrina; something like that. And then when one or both changed their names, they were so relieved that their names didn't start with the same letter anymore. Maybe they even hated it so much that they'd like... go by Chel, CeCe, Sam and Rina. Shit like that, that'd be so funny.

I would really like to see a show about how they grew up. As much as I don't know how to feel about a cis person playing a trans character, I also wouldn't want Richie played by anyone else— *the idea of Jae Hughes as Richie* Okay, that'd actually be pretty sick, and you could have both Trevor and Richie on stage without Jon having to do a bunch of quick changes, or prerecordings, and you could even have them on stage at the same time, but YOU GET WHAT I'M SAYING! Anyway, I think it'd be really neat to have a song of Richie post-transition and Richie pre-transition singing about how they feel out of place, or how they have this secret that they have to keep, pre-trans not being out at all, and post-trans having transitioned in stealth mode. It'd be cook to see 'her' looking in a mirror or something, seeing post-trans Richie there because that's what they want to be. Some fuckin' reflection from Mulan shit, y'know?

Maybe it's just that I want to see Her as a musical, maybe that's my problem... I mean, now I'm thinking about it, and I'm right. I want that so fucking bad. Like, just imagine that for me, will you? I keep specifically imagining a scene of Jeri and Jerry berating 'her' for being too masculine as a song— I'm sorry, I'm being such a dork.

If Jon Matteson did a stream where he read trans richie headcannons and fics, I would fucking cry, especially if Her was included, since I'm very proud of it thus far.

I need like... a 5+1 fic of Richie coming out to people, I'd love that.

I forgot any other thing I wanted to say, just give me a second.

Oh, okay, here we go. I like to think that Richie is a cosplayer (my sister disagrees with me, so I know that some people don't agree) but I like to think that him cosplaying masc characters is one of the things that helped him realise his identity. This has nothing to do with the fact that after I started cosplaying TSS I got more masc and embraced that side of me, I don't know what you're talking about.

I wonder what Jon Matteson (and Will Branner, and everyone else) thinks about Childhood Friend Michie, not even them together romantically. Bc like, I fully understand not understanding that ship; I don't fully understand it myself, despite literally shipping it. But them as childhood friends? It almost makes too much sense, whether or not Max knows Richie is trans. Either way, you can make it make sense in some regard. I particularly like how @24-guy handled it in their trans richie story, but I won't spoil that for you (that's also their user name on ao3)

I think that's all I got for now, maybe I'll make a part two when I'm on a proper dose of adderall that actually does anything for me.

[hopeymchope]

No hardcore fandom has ever died so quickly and so completely as Veronica Mars. This is the story of its murder.

They should study Veronica Mars in Hollywood. I'm serious. It's an incredible story of how to go from "loud, passionate fanbase with its own fandom name that campaigns and advocates constantly for it" to "absolutely zero fucking interest" damn near OVERNIGHT with just ONE epically terri-bad decision.

If you weren't there, you don't understand: From 2007 to 2014, the fandom — the "Marshmallows," as they called themselves — were everywhere in the Internet's geek spaces, my friends. They routinely beat the drum about the series' three seasons and its excellence, lamented its cancellation, pushed others to give the show a try, and always - ALWAYS - proudly and loudly called for the series to be revived.

FULL DISCLOSURE/CONFESSION: I've not even watched that much Veronica Mars, frankly... ? Yeah, I'm sorry! it does seem pretty good from like the four-or-five hours I've experienced firsthand. I just never took the time to sit down with it. Regardless, I find fandoms and their dynamics — both how they operate internally and how they display to others externally — deeply fascinating. And I honestly find them easier to study from the outside than the inside. Like, if I'm IN a fandom, I'm more likely to stay in my corner and ignore places that seem negative. But being on the outside lets me just... absorb what's out there, looking into every forum without judgment. It's like studying pop-culture sociology or something? And it helps that I'm very close to some serious(-ly burnt) Marshmallows. It makes it so much easier to find and absorb the gamut of the fandom.

Besides: There is NO fandom story I've ever seen that's anything like what happened to Veronica Mars and the Marshmallows.

(Time to insert a brief explainer for the uninitiated: Veronica Mars was a TV series that aired from 2004-2007 on the now-deceased UPN network wherein Kristen Bell played the titular character, a high school girl whose single dad was a private detective in the fictional community of Neptune, California. She grew up working "unofficially" as his assistant, which meant that she herself was effectively a teenage private detective.

The three core elements of the series were: 1) Veronica investigating each week's big mystery with plenty of quips and snark, 2) Watching Veronica's various relationships develop and shift, with most of the focus given to a) her relationship to her father and b) Her romantic pursuits (which began as the Veronica/Duncan/Logan triangle before eventually becoming focused on the slow-burn, off-on Veronica/Logan love story), and 3) The gradual development of that season's "mytharc" — the overarching BIG MYSTERY that doesn't get resolved or wrapped until the season finale. So it went over the course of two seasons that took place in high school and the third, shorter season that was at the start of Veronica's collegiate career.)

Just how big and how passionate were the Marshmallows? WELL! When series creator Rob Thomas (not the Matchbox 20 guy) and star Kristen Bell announced the Kickstarter campaign for the Veronica Mars movie in March 2013, it achieved its heretofore-unprecedented goal of TWO MILLION GODDAMN DOLLARS within less than 12 hours. At that time, it was the biggest Kickstarter goal to ever succeed — and certainly the fastest to reach that kind of height. Fans fell OVER themselves to pay out for it. Hell, my own significant other was DEEP in the tank for VM at the time and invested enough to get multiple t-shirts as backer rewards as well as a disk copy of the movie when it eventually came home.

And AFTER the movie hit in 2014? It was thankfully beloved and embraced! The once-teenage characters were adults who were actually out living on their own and working for a living, but the fandom had grown up with them, so it wasn't like they were begging for them to stay young students. They embraced Adult Veronica and her new adventure. The fandom rejoiced loudly and continued to be all over the geek side of the Internet... where they, of course, still wanted more. Sure, there were new novels in the aftermath (which were written by the creator of the series), but most of the Marshmallows were calling for more movies or a streaming revival.

And then, at long last... season four was actually announced. And there was much (premature) rejoicing yet again.

Yes, Veronica Mars returned for a fourth season on Hulu in 2019. It was just eight episodes, and it was heavily centered on one season-long mystery instead of sprinkling that amongst a bunch of smaller ones, but it would still feature the same ol' Veronica. They promised a new, more "adult" mystery/investigation plus a strong focus on Veronica and Logan's love story.

New Hulu purchased the rights to the first three seasons and hyped up its presence on the platform while marketing the return for the new run. The marketing team played up the most popular quips from the show's history plus put out TONS of stuff centered on the Logan/Veronica ship to pump up the fans.

The season was dropped all at once using the classic Netflix "binge" model in July 2019. And then... afterwards?

There was a brief explosion of LOUD RAGE from the Marshmallows at what series creator Rob Thomas had to done to burn and spite the fandom and ruin his own goodwill.

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4: See, at the end of the movie, Veronica and Logan finally entered into a long-term relationship. In season four, they've been dating for years, and Logan proposes marriage. But of course there has to be drama/obstacles: In this case, Veronica isn't sure she's ready to marry... or capable of being in a marriage. Ah, but of course she eventually realizes how much Logan means to her. The two are married, and, in the season finale... Logan is killed by a car bomb in the penultimate scene. The final scene is a flashfoward to a year later, where Veronica leaves Neptune alone.

For most fandoms, that'd be a memorable point of pain. A big ol' speed bump that ultimately throws some people off the bus, leaving only the die-hards. But the fact that fans had been invested in this relationship for literally 15 years and that Hulu (and creator Rob Thomas) had heavily marketed the new season as being a big romantic event for the ship... it was too much. Unlike the aftermath of the Star Wars sequels, there was no lingering group of die-hard fans who were open to whatever was next — at least no significant one. I did some Googling and could only find TWO people who still wanted another season.

Funnily enough? Critics LOVED this. Hell, Vanity Fair infamously penned an editorial about how Veronica Mars had "finally grown up" with this finale. I suppose all the other murders and deaths and drug overdoses and r*pe weren't "mature" enough before now for... some... reason. (The same editorial also featured the author openly hating on Veronica ever being in a relationship because it causes "arrested development" and declaring that the movie -- which was acclaimed by both critics AND fans alike, I remind you -- was a lame dud. So. The writer must be a reeeaaaal fun person.)

But a series doesn't live based on critical acclaim, as it turns out. The fandom was murdered overnight. "Marshmallows" stopped appearing in geek spaces online entirely. No one expressed interest in seeing the next season or the next movie. The constant flow of fan AMVs on YouTube and fanfics on AO3 dried up to nothing or damn nearly so.

Since 2019 ? Nothing. Chirping crickets. An intensely dedicated fandom of 12 years was just... vaporized.

I've never seen anything like it before OR since.

That's why it's so fucking fascinating.

So what went wrong?

Creator Rob Thomas was adamant about two things: ONE, the series was intended to be a noir show, which meant there couldn't be any happiness for its protagonist. And TWO, the death of Logan was necessary to evolve and grow the series.

Thomas thought that having Veronica in a relationship would be holding her back, and that a marriage would absolutely kill the series and leave her stagnant. It never even occurred to him that marriage isn't the end of a character's life and growth. It never occurred to him that plenty of drama can be had AFTER someone is married, or that development/growth could be that the characters mature enough to be capable of maintaining a committed relationship. Thomas' view of his own universe was so myopic that he couldn't conceive of any possible way that Veronica could still be a private detective involved in life-threatening investigations AND be married at the same time. Futhermore, he felt that fans just wanted Veronica to become a pregnant housewife, which is about as far from what Marshmallows were after as you can get without straight-up killing Veronica and/or Logan. He managed to do the only thing wronger than what he wrongly thought was their insistence.

On top of the above, Rob Thomas only viewed "noir" as a vehicle for total fatalism... despite the fact that many of the most famous noir stories are cynical and full of moral ambiguity, but they still feature a positive outcome. The Big Sleep still has the protagonist get the girl. The Set-Up arguably ends with the happiest possible ending in spite of the beating the hero receives.

Perhaps most importantly? Despite Thomas own insistence that Veronica Mars was always "noir," the majority of both TV critics and fans did not think that designation ever truly applied. I suspect that's the reason why Thomas decided to go as dark and fatalistic as possible: He wanted to be noir, and he was being told that he wasn't. So he went so far into noir that he killed his own most popular property.

He was adamant that it was the only way for the series to grow. But as it turns out, it was instead the only way for the series to permanently end. Without that season four finale, a passionate group of fans would still be begging for more. With it? It's over. Nobody fucking cares now.

That's kind of amazing.

[luniarix]

FAVORITE FOLLOWER

ᥫ᭡synopsis : you have a mysterious follower who has been swiping up on your stories to flirt with you, and when you finally stop hesitating to reply back, he’s quick to make sure he sweeps you off your feet. if you let him, of course.

ᥫ᭡NOTE : the texts are a bit cut off, and i rlly don’t know how to fix it since it’s an app thing so :’))) (and don’t mind the dates on the texts(´；ω；`) it was too much of a hassle to change em LMAO) but just know that toji is complimenting you in each text you sexies <333

CW : fem!reader, chubby!reader, shy!reader, fluff, flirting, gentleman!toji, biker!toji, reader being an overthinker, slight angst (reader’s inner thoughts), talks of insecurity and reassurance, long distance!au, texting!au (with some cheesy texts), toji pining after u first o(｀ω´ )o, the bff is up to interpretation of your own gals :-)

a prequel to *⁀➷ 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜

“did he swipe up again?” your best friend asks, taking a bite out of the fruit bowl she was indulging in. you chew on your bottom lip, a way to try and suppress your lingering smile as you glance at her. “uh—yeah.” you breathlessly say, staring at the dms between you and another user.

toji was his name. you knew that much by his user and the way friends addressed him in the comments. he was a mysterious person, because although he posted himself, it was never much of his face. he was a biker, and he’d usually post the late night drives he went on. so that means, his helmet was all you could usually see.

but oh god, even if he didn’t show his face, everything else about him was so sexy. you just knew that he was so, so handsome. your best friend never fails to mention that huge possibility when the topic of toji himself is brought up—and intrigues you even more about who he really is.

“what’d he text you?” your friend asks, raising a brow as she sees the way you’re trying to hide the growing smile as you’re staring at your phone screen. you clear your throat, trying to act nonchalant. “nothing, he just said that i look pretty from my story.” she stares at you with a knowing look.

“let me see.” she gets up to walk over to you, curiosity and excitement written all over her face. you bashfully hesitate to show her your screen, but when you do—she’s practically geeking.

“girl why haven’t you replied to him yet?!”she scrolls up to see that he’s been consistently replying to your stories for a while, and you’re looking away from her piercing stare.

“2 and a half months of him flirting in your dms? and you’ve only been liking his texts?babes c’mon!! you should answer him!” your friend playfully hits her hips with yours and you groan. “well i would but—but i just haven’t had the courage to.” you place your head down, folding your arms under your head as support. your friend scoots closer towards you and places your phone right beside your elbow.

“just start by responding to his most recent flirty text to the picture you posted the other day.” you raise your head up again and grab your phone, glancing at your friend anxiously. she winks back at you in reassurance. you huff and slowly straighten your back, staring at your screen as you try to think of how to finally respond to him.

spring had just started rolling around, and the picture you posted on your story was of you in a long sleeve body con dress. you didn’t look anywhere near extravagant, as it was simply supposed to be an outfit out for a arcade night with your friends. but the way toji complimented you, you might as well have been wearing a dress to some gala.

he always had a formal way of complimenting— and if you were being honest, you liked it so much more than what other men were complimenting you with.

u fine asf. u send? and yo u sexy, let me hit pls aren’t exactly what a girl wants to hear as a conversation starter.

you suck in your bottom lip, chewing on the soft skin as you begin to type. you wanted to respond at one point, but with how highly he praised you, you shied away from flirting back as you felt a bit intimidated by him— more so because he was so mysterious and the way he carried himself was intriguing. you wanted to get to know him, truly.

but if you didn’t live up to what he was expecting? if you end up making him pull away somehow? if he wanted more than you could give? if you weren’t enough?

the overwhelming thoughts of overthinking chipped away at your eagerness to reply back, and so you’ve been putting it off. but with the push of your friend, you decide that it’s time to finally pull up those big girl panties and text the man that has been complimenting you in ways that has you swooning over and over again.

you decided that it’d be best to respond with a simple thank you, as you were still nervous as to how to start a conversation with him.

you stare at the screen as you groan, cringing at your own texts as you believed that maybe you should’ve said something different. you began to debate if you should just delete the text and say something else, but the more you thought about it the more you got into your own head. it wasn’t until you see the words “seen” under your texts that you begin freaking out.

“oh my god he’s texting—what the fuck!!” you panicked as you threw your phone across the table and began to fan yourself. your friend stares at you before cracking up, grabbing your phone as she hears a ding. “he texted you back already? girl he want you so bad. hurry up and reply!” she tosses your phone back to you, and you groan as you try to calm your nerves.

this was so stupid, it’s not like this was the first time someone was sliding up your dms—but it was different with him. toji was someone who you’d started crushing on the first time he swiped up. so like, freaking out was a normal reaction no?

“hurry up and check what he said!!” your friend ushers you while laughing to turn your phone back on as you playfully swat her away. you go back to instagram, and you can’t help but get flushed all over again.

you wince in shame. of course he would ask you as soon as you replied back—after all, you did keep him hanging for 2 and a half months while he was basically flirting with the wall in your dms. but he can’t blame you! you liked all of his texts, and you were just too shy (more like hesitant) to respond back until now! he’ll understand, right?

you sigh at the utter arrogance of that thought process. but you had to be honest with him, you knew that. but starting off a conversation in which you explained your insecurities and overthinking with him wasn’t a good first impression for yourself for a man that could blossom into someone more than a stranger—so you decided to give him a short yet truthful answer.

maybe, if (when) you two had the chance to grow into something more in the future, you would answer him in full.

if you were being honest, it’s quite endearing to know that toji’s clearly been waiting for your responses, and he’s now typing back. you tug at your oversized shirt as you let out a sigh of relief.

it was an exhale that you didn’t even know you were holding in.

you softly laugh at your silly overthinking, realizing how much you let the thoughts consume you that you hadn’t even given yourself the chance to get to know toji.

it seemed frightening the longer you pondered the interaction, and you probably should’ve done this a while ago.

after all, the things that frighten us within our minds tend to be less scarier when we’re actually faced with them.

“so how’s the convo with mysterious biker going?” your friend's soft-spoken voice brings you out of your inner monologue. you turn your body slightly towards her as you place your phone down to calm your nerves. they were good nerves, though. you were excited to finally get to talk to him.

a small but glowing smile forms on your lips as you prop your elbows on the table, resting your chin on your palms. "it's going good—and we're getting towards an actual conversation." your friend doesn’t miss how your eyes twinkle with giddiness, and she grins at you. “okay girl, see—i told you you should’ve texted him way sooner.” she gives you a pointed stare and you avert your gaze embarrassedly.

“i know,” you sheepishly shrug your shoulders, grabbing your phone again to look at what toji said. “i might have been holding myself back from letting him in—even if it was for just a moment.” you admit, words slowly dying out as you stare at your screen.

oh my. did he just call you mamas? and he’s been wanting to get to know you? he’s been wanting you? this whole time?

you almost let out a loud squeal, but you cover it up by keeping your fist near your mouth, muffling the giddy noise you made. was it even possible to fold this fast in a conversation? because surely, you knew by now that you didn’t want to stop here.

you almost didn’t even notice the change of texting toji had because of how exhilarated you felt, but you found it so cute as you believed it to be him getting more comfortable with you.

oh, you should’ve—really should’ve—talked to him much sooner. but you shouldn’t dwell on it anymore, as you still ended up talking to him. you begin to type, cheeks hurting from how hard you’re grinning, and your head in cloud 9.

“so,” your friend starts, having you turn your attention to her once again. "i see that you and toji are hitting it off pretty well, huh?" she raises her brows at you teasingly. you laugh, nodding your head in response.

“yeah… i—” you cut yourself off, trying to figure out how to put your thoughts into words. “i thought that it would be really intimidating if i ever talked to him, but i realized that i was just… afraid, i guess?” you timidly shrug your shoulders, because admitting how you felt out loud made you realize how trivial your hesitation actually was.

“now you know, hm?” your friend gives you a warm smile, knowing that the realization had hit you. she doesn’t tease you about it, nor does she make any more comments besides that.

no one should be forced to step out of their comfort zone if they aren't ready to do so anyway.

you give her a toothy-grin, nodding energetically. you were ecstatic—to say the least. “i’m not sure where this’ll go but i really want to take that leap—he’s super sweet and so cute.” your friend whistles in agreement. “look at what he’s said then!”

and so you do.

a sudden surge of warmth blooms and spreads throughout your chest, reaching up your neck and spreading across your face. you were warm, but it (mostly) wasn’t because you were swooning for toji once again—it was because you felt like this was the start of something new.

you had a gut feeling that this was going to be a long, and most definitely exciting new journey. and this time; you weren’t hesitant.

feel free to leave ideas in my inbox or a comment ♡ if i made any grammar mistakes that i missed, lmk! and thank u so much for reading (●´ω｀●)

[uceyliyahh]

SOMETHING BOUT’ US

Summary: "I want you more than anything in my life." After being in a difficult relationship with Carmelo Yasmine decided to move on from him and become the next big thing while getting drafted on the smackdown roster she always thought she would never find love again due to her commitment issues until she met him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 3708

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Yasmine

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic @xbriexx

@hunnidmilly @celesteheartsjey @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @lov3rla03 @simpin4pixels @nbanenefrmdao

5.

OMNISCIENT

Yasmine had an interview with Bryson regarding her impending debut on the blue brand, so she was at work today for tonight's Smackdown. Following that incident, she and Jey have been growing closer over the past few weeks.

Taking her on these "best friend" dates, Jey has been nothing but kind to her. Late at night, they would stroll and discuss personal matters. Naturally, Montez was aware of it, and since Jey was his dawg, he trusted him. He was aware that Jey would not harm her in any way.

She felt someone put their arms around her shoulders as she sat in the makeup chair applying makeup. She opened her eyes to see Bianca standing behind her. 

"Hey, girlfriend! I've missed you, girl. Paul needs to hurry up and make your debut quickly," Bianca said jokingly.

"I know, man, but I'm so nervous about it, too. What if I mess up, B?" Yasmine replied.

Bianca shook her head, "Girl, you're going to do great out there when you debut." That made Yasmine smile, knowing that she had perfect, supportive friends who always reassured her.

"But enough of that. How are you and Jey?" Once she bought up Jey, Yasmine couldn't help but smile whenever she heard his name from anyone else; it just made her heart flutter.

While they were talking on Jey, Bianca could see that Yasmine was cheesing really hard and getting really geeked out. She updated Bianca, stating that Jey has been taking her on "best friend" dates and late-night walks as part of their overall effort to get to know one another better.

"Oh my gosh, girl yall are so cute like literally." She said.

Yes, there is something specific about him. Yasmine looked at herself in the mirror that the makeup artist had given her and said, "He's different, B, but I can't be sure yet." "Yasmine, I know what you mean, but I also told everyone that I was hosting a small gathering at the crib so that we could all enjoy ourselves after work." A gathering? It sounds fine to me. I hope Jey will be present as well. Why wouldn't he?

Bianca hugged her before heading to her locker room, and Yasmine nodded her head. As she made her way to Montez's locker room, she thanked the makeup artist for doing her makeup. 

She felt a powerful force tugging at her arm as she was doing that. She turned to see Carmelo snatching her up in this manner. She gave him a severe look as she stood there with her arms folded after yanking her arm away from him.

"Why the fuck am I hearing about you and Jey being all close and shit now when I should be the one staring at you like that?" Carmelo asked her a question. "Because we are, right? Why am I unable to have a male best friend at this time? "Yasmine said." 

"All of that is not what I'm saying. I simply want to know what's happening between you two. Bro, this nigga is right here. Why is he asking her questions? They weren't even together once more? As if she were free to do as she pleased. Feeling angry at this man for failing to notice that they were no longer together, Yasmine started massaging her temple.

What Jey and I are doing is none of your business, Melo. "Hell," she said sharply, "we're not even together." 

Her response didn't sit well with him, so he took her by the throat, drew her in, and put his lips to her ear. "I'm not sure why you're acting this way toward me, but if it's because of his ass, Minks, I won't think twice about beating his ass." She was slightly alarmed by his threats to harm Jey, but she was aware that Jey could easily beat him up. She rubbed her throat and pushed him away. When he didn't like something that he didn't want to hear, he would grab her up like that, and she got so sick of it.

"Nigga, please stop interfering with my life; you're fucking crazy." His facial expressions were readable by her. Her response made him angry because he felt like he was losing control of her. "It would be best for all of you to break up this friendship." Yasmine cocked her head threateningly.

"The fuck, I'm not doing that? He is unquestionably superior to you. He grabbed her by the hair after she had said that, which made her scream at the pain she was feeling. 

She looked into his eyes and raised her head. She wasn't going to break up with Jey because he's been giving her the mental support she needed, which Carmelo was unable to give her, even though this man was being completely serious. She felt her hair behind come loose before he could do anything else, looked up, and saw Jonathan choking him. Yasmine couldn't understand. Where the fuck did he come from?

"Yasmine, are you okay?" "What?" Jonathan inquired. 

As she watched Carmelo struggle to escape Jon's chokehold, she nodded her head and said, "Yo' ass want to keep putting hands on her, don't you, Melo? When will you discover that she is protected? She followed Jon's instructions to go to Montez's locker room while he handled Carmelo's ass, and she had planned to do so until this incident. As Yasmine entered his locker room, she noticed Trinity and Bianca seated there, staring at her. In order to check on her and give her a hug, they both approached her.

"Girl, you good?" Trinity asked.

"Yes, I'm alright. I guess Melo learned that Jey and I were best friends and wanted me to cut him off, so I had to deal with him once more." Trinity and Bianca both let out deep sighs as Yasmine explained. "Yasmine, have you been talking to Trick? I'm so sick of his ass." As soon as he believed his own best friend over her and blocked him on everything, Yasmine shook her head, refusing to even consider his ass.

In the locker room, Bianca nodded her head as everyone sat down to watch an Iyo vs. Bayley match on the TV. Yasmine, meanwhile, could feel her phone buzzing. Upon taking it out, she discovered that Jey had sent her a text. 

Joshua🤍 sent 2+ messages IMESSAGE 💬 Joshua🤍: hey, I heard what happened you good minks? Joshua🤍: lemme' know okay?

She awe at the messages knowing that Jey cared for her so much she began to text him back.

Yasmine🩵: I'm fine Joshua your brother came in the nick of time before anything could happen. Joshua🤍: that's good minks, where yo' pretty ass at? Yasmine🩵: I'm in my brother's locker room with the girls watching a match between Iyo and Bayley why? Joshua🤍: come holla at me for a second Yasmine🩵: 🤨🤨 boy what'chu tryna do? Joshua🤍: girl bring yo' ass here and stop playing with me Yasmine🩵: you can wait bestie 💁🏼‍♀️ Joshua🤍: bring. yo'. ass. here. now. do I have to repeat myself? Yasmine🩵: 🙄 god you're so annoying worse than Montez ass I'm coming. Joshua🤍: good Yasmine🩵: 🖕🏼🖕🏼

Yasmine promised the girls that she would return, but she quickly informed them that she was going to the restroom. As she walked out of the room, they both nodded. She and Jey have been touchy lately; did she forget to mention that to you? Most likely, it didn't matter. She made her way to Jey's locker room, which he shared with his brother. Standing there like a young child heading over to their friend's house, Yasmine knocked on the door and waited for Jey to come open it.

The door flew open as she heard footsteps approaching. Jey was standing there with his silver chain, grills, and piercings on, all part of his Yeet Gear. He always manages to look good. He gave her a smile while displaying his golden grills, which gleamed in the natural light. After grabbing her by the thighs, he closed the door after them.

As she straddled his lap, her hands held her in place while touching every part of his face and feeling every hair on his beard. 

Jey put his powerful arms around her waist and squeezed her ass while rubbing his hands on both of her cheeks.

"Is this what'chu wanted me to come in for?" She said, running her fingers through his mullet.

While she was whining, he made her up by kissing her neck, sending chills down her spine.

"You know I miss yo' fine ass mama." Jey said, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I missed you too, bestie. Do you have a match tonight?" He shook his head, rubbing all over her warm body, which made her feel wet inside of her panties.

"Joshhhh..."

With that damn smug look on his face as he did what he was doing to her, he arched an eyebrow at her. "What? Girl, I'm not doing anything. Yasmine rolled her eyes and smacked her teeth as she looked down at him.

"Josh, you're being touchy." Gently, she said, and he sat up, taking her chin and bringing her face to his. "Lemme' do that you know you like it." Without hesitation, Yasmine put her lips to his, and he did the same.

Yes, ever since they started hanging out, she and Jey have been touchy, but not to the extent that it made Yasmine feel uneasy. Perhaps Jonathan is the only person close to them who is aware of the small things they do that best friends don't really do. As they made out passionately in his and Jon's locker room, Jey stuck his tongue in her mouth and rubbed all over her ass. Although he was aware that he needed to maintain his composure around Yasmine, he felt himself becoming hard.

As their foreheads touched, she sensed it too and withdrew from the kiss. 

"Shit, you me getting all bricked up girl." He said.

"Well, that's what happens when we are doing things like this together, Josh." He chuckled, telling her to sit up real quick so he could fix himself.

His print was visible through his gear, indicating to her that he was large and most likely incapable of enduring all of that if they went far. He noticed her grinning as she gazed at his print.

"You wanna suck it since you keep staring mad hard at it." Yasmine punched him in his chest as her face felt flushed at his bold statement.

"Shut up Joshua like deadass." Yasmine said while straddling back on his lap.

"Don't you need to get back to girls before they start to worry?" As she got up from his lap and fixed herself, she nearly forgot about that, but she missed the hickey he had given her earlier. It wasn't bad, but from a distance it was obvious, so she thought she would cover it up with makeup to hide it from the girls, but Jey stopped her.

"Let people see; don't cover it up." She put her makeup brush back in her bag, and Jey placed a soft kiss on her neck and then on her lips.

But the kiss once again got intense as Yasmine wrapped her arms around his neck while his hands were resting on her ass cheeks. He was yearning more from her as she did the same, but they both knew their limits. Yasmine marked him up just like how he did her, hearing him moaning softly in her ear, causing him to scoop her up by her thighs. Once again, it's like he lost control of his senses.

Unhooking her bra as his breast popped out, he grabbed it in the process, swirling his tongue around her nipple. She threw her head back while moaning his name.

"J-Josh...fuck..." he gazed up at her watching her fold at his touch.

"I can stop...we don't have to continue this...lemme' know mama.." He said softly, reassuring her.

"Let's stop for now before we get caught..." he nodded in agreement as Yasmine got up from his lap fixing herself as he did the same.

Before she could leave, she gave him one last kiss before heading out the door and returning to Montez's locker room. Opening the door, she saw Bianca and Trinity staring at her.

"Damn, girl what took you so long?" Bianca asked.

"My tummy started to hurt and it took me longer than expected." Yasmine lied as she sat down on the couch.

Trinity noticed a mark on her neck. She smirked, shaking her head, and then she knew that Yasmine had been with Jey all that time.

✧˚° After work, Yasmine was upstairs in her room watching her favorite show on Netflix, Bridgerton. She stopped watching it at first because of the sex scenes but went right back to it after hearing that they had a new season out, so she had to catch up on everything.

While she was doing that, she heard her knocking and Bianca coming into her room.

"What's up B?" Yasmine asked.

"Everyone is here and wants to see you, girl. C'mon, " she said as Yasmine nodded her head while getting up from her bed.

In order to have some privacy and change her clothes, Bianca closed the door. During that time, Yasmine dressed comfortably and styled her hair before heading downstairs to greet everyone. She went downstairs, hoping to see someone she knew, but she didn't see them. She sighed, knowing that since his brother and sister-in-law were present, he would most likely arrive on his own schedule.

She approached them, grinning and giving them both hugs. "Jon, is my best friend coming?" Jonathan rolled his eyes amusingly and nodded his head. 

"Yes, but he's coming a little later, so be patient. He's not going anywhere, girl." Jonathan said as Yasmine hit him in the chest Him being dramatic, started to winch in pain; meanwhile, Trinity popped him upside the head.

Yasmine laughed, covering her mouth in the process before Trinity pulled her to the side, leaving Jon in actual pain.

"Girl, what's going on between you and Jey?" Trinity asked Yasmine. Knowing that she couldn't hide this from her best friend, she decided to tell her everything.

Trinity covered her mouth shockingly as she hit Yasmine in her arm, hearing all of the tea that she was spilling on her. "Girl! Shut the fuck up, are you serious right now?" Yasmine nodded her head while feeling her face getting flushed.

"I'm not lying. It's been like that for a few weeks now. We don't really go too far with it, but honestly, I'm yearning for more. Trin, is that bad?" Yasmine said, fiddling with her fingers, as Trinity shook her head.

"Nah, girl, it's not bad, but I also want you to take it slow and need to heal, even if it's with Jey and he's helping you. I just don't want you to get hurt; that's all that matters to me."

"Yeah, of course, I know my limit, and so does he." She nodded her head as she and Yasmine went back with everyone else out back while Montez was cooking some BBQ.

Meanwhile, Yasmine was sitting near the pool on her phone, scrolling through her social media, and saw that Carmelo had posted about his story.

When she saw it; it was him and trick out to the club together along with lash having a good time she shrugged her shoulders moving past his story while watching someone else's story.

As she was doing that, she heard the door opening. She didn't pay attention at first since she was on her phone, but she heard a familiar voice coming from the kitchen.

Yasmine turned around and saw Jey dabbing up his brother and Montez before glancing in her direction and grinning while flaunting his grills. Raising herself, she approached him and put her arms around his neck. Everyone, including her brother, watched them as he grabbed her by the thighs.

"Oh my gosh, I thought you weren't going to come." Yasmine said.

"I mean I am a foodie so when I heard yo' brother was making some bbq I had to come." Jey replied as he put Yasmine down on her feet.

"Man, you're here for the food and not to see me rude." She pouted at him while walking away, and he chuckled at her for following her to everyone else out back.

Not even looking at Jey, she sat down by the pool and resumed using her phone. While preparing the food, Montez was conversing with Jey. Wondering what was going on between them, he brought up what he had seen earlier.

"So what's up with'chu and my little sister Josh?" Montez asked Jey, scratching the back of his head.

"Nothing, we are just chilling and vibing together. That's all nothing more." Montez gave him that face knowing that he was lying his ass off, causing Jey to sigh deeply.

"Don't kill Me A'ight? But we've been fucking around for like a couple of weeks but I do respect her wishes." Jey said, throwing his hands up in defense.

The sight of his homeboy raising his hands as if to strike him made Montez laugh at him. "Slow down, Dawg. You won't be killed by me. Regardless, I think you two look good together, and as I've previously stated, I have faith in you around my sister." With a sigh of relief, Jey rubbed his hand over his beard. When he noticed Yasmine sitting by herself in the pool using her phone, his gaze quickly went to her. After removing his shirt, he approached her and dove into the pool. He was swimming in the pool when she looked up, the water splashing in her face.

'This nigga did that shit on purpose oh my gosh so annoying bro.'

"Josh! You fucking dickhead!" Yasmine shouted as she wiped her phone, which had water on the screen, before swimming towards him.

He went under the water as she swam in his direction, making it impossible for her to find him. She looked around like a lost puppy until she felt him grab her by the thighs, frightening her. Giving her a Samoan drop in the water, he placed her on his back. Everyone laughed and gasped. Yasmine, meanwhile, flipped her hair back out of her face and swam back up to the top, rubbing her eyes.

Jey encircled her waist with his arms and pressed his face against her shoulder. She gave him an eye roll. 

"C'mon mama you can't be mad at me still look at me." He whispered softly.

She turned her head, realizing their faces were close together, pouting at him. "I am still mad at you nigga; leave me alone." Yasmine tried to get away from his grasp but forgetting the fact that he was stronger than her.

"What can I do to make it up to you? Ion' know why yo' little ass catching attitude with me when I did want to come and see you, but a man's gotta eat girl."

She stuck her tongue out at him, facing the opposite direction, grabbing her chin so that she could face him as they made intense contact.

"Fix it."

"Nigga fix what?" Yasmine questioned him as a smirk appeared on his face.

"Fix that damn attitude, or imma fuck it out of you upstairs in yo' bedroom bent the fuck over on that bed, little girl." She fixed her attitude quickly once he said all of that as he turned her body around, now facing him, keeping their bodies close to each other.

Jey pecked her on the lips, making sure nobody saw them do that. Then, they heard Montez calling everyone to come get their plates as the food was done.

✧˚°

After everyone had finished their meal, they spent the remainder of the evening in the living room watching a movie. On the couch, Jey and Yasmine were snuggling together. His hand was over her waist, her head resting on his chest as she straddled his lap. As he watched her drift in and out of sleep, he told Montez that he was going to take Yasmine upstairs to bed because he could see she was nodding off.

Taking her by the legs, he led her upstairs to her bedroom, opened the door with his free hand, and carried her to her bed. He set her down, moved her hair to the side, sat beside her, and gently covered her body with her blanket. Jey smiled as he observed her sleeping soundly and appreciated her features. He wanted to continue keeping her mentally and physically sane because he knew he was doing a good job of it. He wished for her happiness.

He got up from the bed double, checking to make sure that she was actually sleeping before heading downstairs with everyone else.

As he went back downstairs, he noticed that everyone was knocked out of sleep. He laughed quietly, heading back upstairs towards Yasmine's bedroom.

Opening the door, he could tell that Yasmine had shifted in her sleep from sleeping on her side to her stomach. He quietly took off his shorts before climbing into the bed with her.

Pulling her closer to his body, he heard her groan, sounding annoyed, but he didn't care as he placed a kiss on her forehead before drifting to sleep.

Something Bout' Us.

uceyjucey, tiffanywwe, biancabelairwwe, others liked your post.

minnieminks: he knows I'm his favorite 😩 uceyjucey: damn right minks 🤍 minnieminks: @ uceyjucey my favorite person like ever 🫶🏽 tiffanywwe: girl you're eating that up fr fr ♥️ biancabelairwwe: gurl is there something that ion' know about? minnieminks: @ biancabelairwwe ummm idkkk ask yo' fiancé 😭😭 im playing ill tell you later. MontezFordWWE: yk what...im not going to say anything 😭😭 jonathanfatu: that bathing suit is to much Yasmine minnieminks: @ jonathanfatu dont make me get Trinity leave me alone Jon 😭😭🙄 carmelohayes: @ uceyjucey tf you mean by that? Yasmine what does he mean by that? Are you cheating on me with him? uceyjucey: @ carmelohayes you should know what tf she meant gtfo 🙄

Read all Comments.

A/n: Lawd Yasmine and Jey are yearning more for each other right now but again Jey is respecting her but how long can they keep this up before he tear her shit up? 😭😭

Carmelo...ion have anything to say. 🙄

Anyways I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below.

Stay Ucey.

[kinda-iconic]

Our Last Hope

Author's Notes: And so it is here, the next instalment of Amelia and Ernest's story. I cannot begin to tell you how long I have been working on this - so much so that I have had to split it into two parts! I have loved writing this so much, even though I have broken my own heart once or twice. I hope that you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it.

Pairing: Ernest Sinclaire x MC (Amelia)

Word Count: Over 3'500

Tagging: @princess-geek

Additional Tag list (due to past interest): @bloodboundismylife, @i-put-the-sin-in-sinclaire, @nala-raines

Song inspiration: Thank You (youtube.com) From the 'Queen Charlotte' Soundtrack

TICK.

TICK.

TICK.

Luke makes his way along the darkened corridor, a beam of silvery moonlight illuminating his path. He walks in silence, the sudden chiming of the grandfather clock causing him to startle. He takes a moment to recover, rolling out his shoulders before continuing, only to stop in front of an all-too-familiar door. He softly raps on the wood, pressing his ear against the door as if listening for movement.

But he hears nothing.

He looks down, frowning as his gaze befalls a slither of light underneath the frame. He knocks once more, this time accompanying his efforts with the verbal announcement of his presence.

“I know that you are in there, Ernest,” he waits for a response, but he is met with crickets; after a moment, he speaks again, his hand gently grasping the doorknob, “I am coming in.”

He justles the handle, just for a familiar voice to call back to him from the other side.

“There is no need. I am fine.”

Luke shakes his head, a soft smile escaping him, “I am afraid that I cannot accept that until I see you with my own eyes.”

When he receives no answer, Luke enters the room, quickly spotting Ernest, who sits quietly in his armchair, a glass of scotch nestled between his fingertips. He appears dishevelled, his hair unkempt, dark circles making their home under his eyes. He lifts the glass to his lips, downing its contents.

“You have seen me now,” Ernest retorts, exhaling harshly; he reaches for the decanter, his eyes focusing on the auburn liquid as it swirls around its encasement, “are you satisfied?”

“Not in the slightest.”

Ernest scoffs, shaking his head in drunken amusement.

��We cannot help but be concerned, Er-“

“It’s Mr Sinclaire to you,” Ernest counters, “my given name is not one that I allow to be spoken that freely.”

“Other than by Amelia, you mean.”

“Amelia is my wife,” he refills his glass, taking a grateful sip; the liquor burns its way down his throat, causing him to grimace, “that certainly is stronger than I remember.”

“Is that not what you were drinking before?”

“I have finished that bottle already,’ he lifts his glass in the air, gesturing to the empty chair beside him with a tilt of his glass, “drink?”

“If it means that I can watch over you for a little while.”

Ernest doesn’t answer; instead, he rises from his perch, pondering over to his liquor cabinet. He retrieves a fresh glass from within, his fingers fumbling over the rim as he tries to better his grip. Luke frowns, walking over with an offer of assistance.

“Let me help you with that…”

He reaches forward, but is stopped by Ernest, who raises a hand in dismissal.

“I am capable of collecting a glass, Mr Harper.”

He places the vessel down, filling it near enough to the brim. Luke winces, the sound being swiftly rebuked by the quip of Ernest’s brow.

“Have I displeased you in some way?”

“N-no, I just…” Luke lifts the glass to his nose momentarily; he takes a swig, clearing his throat soon after, his eyes enlarging as he watches Ernest finish yet another glass, “maybe you should slow down a little bit.”

“I would say that I am going at a fairly reasonable pace.”

“I meant with the drinking, Sir.”

“I drink as I see fit.”

A comfortable silence passes between the pair for a moment, neither daring to so much as utter a single word. It is only after a couple of minutes that Luke speaks, his expression growing sombre as he studies the broken man before him.

“Normally, you would not hesitate to ask someone to join you in this endeavour.”

“Well, I…I guess I just wanted to be on my lonesome for a little while.”

Ernest walks back over to his chair, slumping back into the leather.

“Is there anything that you need?” Luke enquires, “I can get one of the maids to make you something to-“

“You could get me another scotch,” he looks down at his empty glass, his brows knitting together in a frown, “I…seem to be out.”

“Have mine. Or at least…half of it.”

He retrieves Ernest’s glass, dividing the untouched liquor equally. He places the glass on the end table before meandering over to the fireplace, holding his dainty glass in his outstretched palm. After a moment, Luke tilts his head towards the spirit, his expression unreadable.

“I know it is not much,” he admits, carefully pondering the appropriateness of his following admission, “but I thought that it would be best not to supply you with more should the Doctor need to discuss anything with you.”

Ernest collects his offering, bowing his head in quiet appreciation.

“Is that something that you have decided upon yourself, or did the others influence that decision?”

When he is met with no immediate reply, he shakes his head, a despondent sigh escaping his lips.

“The amount I drink is no concern of yours, nor should it have ever been a talking point for your gossip.”

“Forgive me, Sir,” Luke appears hesitant, aware as to the severity of Ernest’s emotional state, “but we had no choice but to discuss it.”

“My,” Ernest retorts, his response almost sarcastic, “has the rumour mill already run dry?”

He downs the contents of his glass without pause, heading back over to the decanter; his brows furrow in concentration as he fixes himself another drink. He takes a swig, only turning to face Luke once his second glass is almost fully depleted.

“I am sorry that you have drawn the short straw tonight, Mr Harper,” his tone is hollow, “I am not exactly what one would call ‘pleasant’ company right now.”

Luke frowns, “that is not true in the slightest.”

“You were previously close to referring to me as a drunkard.”

“We are worried about you,” Luke takes another step towards to his counterpart, yet choosing to remain at a respectable distance, “if ever you would like anyone to step in and look after the child or sit at Amelia’s bedside-“

“I have no desire for either,” he stops himself short, giving in to his frustration, “I will take care of my family. They are my responsibility.” Ernest takes one last sip of his drink, the glass shaking slightly in his grasp as he forcefully slams it onto the table, “I’ll be damned if anyone else shoulders that.”

“You need rest, Ernest,” Luke approaches cautiously, placing a comforting hand on Ernest’s arm, “you have not slept since Amelia delivered, neither have you been eating properly.” He replaces the lid on the decanter, holding it by its neck before moving it elsewhere, “I can go and ask Briar or one of the kitchen maids if they could prepare-“

“I will eat when my wife is well and not a moment before.”

“What if Amelia doesn’t get better?”

The two men regard one another before Ernest looks away, casting his gaze out the window and to the ground below.

“I do not wish to talk about that.”

“But that is exactly why it needs to be spoken about,” Luke counteracts, “we have all spoken to the Doctor. We know the prognosis-“

“He had no right to discuss Amelia’s condition with any of you,” his exclamation is one of anger, his words laced with emotion and unwarranted venom, “the only one that has any right to know what is going on is me; nobody else.”

“So her brother doesn’t have any right to know how critical her condition is? Her family deserve to-“

“They are not the ones that will feel the impact of her absence the most.”

“No,” Luke’s face falls, his voice taking a sombre tone, “they’re not.”

Ernest retires to his chair, his fingertips gently grasping onto the hem of its material.

“How are you doing? I-I know that is a daft question, but…”

“I honestly cannot recall the last time that someone asked how I was,” Ernest murmurs, “that is not to say that people have not bothered with me, but rather…at least not verbally.”

Luke smiles sadly; Ernest takes his silence as an opportunity to continue.

“Amelia has never been one for fuss,” he smiles sadly as his mind begins to reminisce, “all of this…” he gestures softly with his hand, “all the doting and constant upheaval…it is the last thing that she would have wanted.”

“We do this because we care about her,” Luke interjects, “Amelia is one of us; she is, for better words, the glue that holds us all together.”

“That would be a beautiful sentiment if my wife was not lying unconscious in her death bed.”

“Ernest…”

He stands once more, his unsteady feet subconsciously carrying him over to the window, paying the drop of his name no mind. He remains stood in silence for a moment, his eyes fixated on the curtains before he speaks softly, his voice quiet and sombre, as if his hopefulness has diminished entirely.

“My wife…she is going to die. I cannot and will not sugar-coat it.”

“There is still hope that-“

“Hope?!” Ernest scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief, “if that is what you truly believe, then maybe you really are just like the rest.”

There is a short hesitation before Luke stands, brushing away the creases in his jacket.

“I will let that comment pass given the circumstance.”

Ernest remains quiet, his gaze set on the horizon as the sun begins to set once more. Knowing that there is nothing else that he can say to lift Ernest’s spirits, Luke collects his satchel from the ground, eyeing the insignia that has been skilfully carved into the leather.

“You may have given up, My Lord…but I have not,” he pauses momentarily, shouldering the bag, “I promised her father that I would watch over her, and that is what I intend to do.”

He makes his way over to the door, but he is stopped in his path by the sudden intrusion of Miss Sutton, her mouth hanging agape in surprise.

“Forgive me for the interruption…”

“Not at all, M’Lady,” Luke bows his head in acknowledgment before looking over at Ernest, his face aglow with disappointment, “I have nothing more to say.”

He leaves the room, closing the door softly behind him. As if sensing that he is still not alone, Ernest turns to Teresa, taking yet another sip of the liquor, “to what do I owe the pleasure, Viscountess?”

“The Doctor would like a word. He believes that Amelia might wake soon.”

“Has anything changed since I saw her last?”

“She is less clammy…and a little bit of colour has returned to her cheeks,” Teresa smiles warmly, “Percival is at her bedside with Harry and Briar.”

“I told Nanny Weskit to take him upstairs to bed.”

“He wanted to see his Mama,” she frowns, her brows furrowing slightly, “is that not a good enough reason for him to stay up past his bedtime?”

“Amelia is not his mother.”

“And you are not his father,” Teresa retorts, “but he treats you as such.”

Ernest falls silent, contemplating her words. She folds her arms across her chest, waiting for a response, but receives none. After a few minutes, she sighs in defeat, looking to the floor as she collects her bearings.

“Look…I understand that you are hurting…” she takes a cautious step forward, “but punishing yourself and taking out your frustrations on others…it is not helping, Ernest.”

He turns at the sound of his name, having not expected its use.

“I cannot begin to fathom what you are going through…but pushing us all away when you need us the most? It is not going to help you. It is not what Amelia would want.”

“I…understand.”

“Then let us in,” she walks over to him, placing a gentle hand on his arm, “allow us to help you. We can watch over Amelia…take care of the children-“

“That is my responsibility.”

“This is not something that you should have to shoulder on your own. We are here to support you.”

He smiles sadly, “I highly doubt that our mother-in-law would agree with that.”

“Henrietta refuses to agree with anything unless it directly benefits her,” she returns his smile, “I know that as much as anyone.”

“I am sorry that you have to endure her temperament so frequently.”

She shakes her head dismissively, “both yourself and Amelia have been subjected to much more than I, believe me.” She beams with pride, interlacing her arm with his own, “and with regards to Henrietta, I must insist that you remember that we are both interlinked. Neither you nor I need to face the brunt of her crassness alone.”

“How is that?”

“We married into this family,” her smile brightens as she looks down at her wedding ring, seemingly becoming lost in a memory, “we may not agree with how our mother-in-law chooses to present herself, but we endure her and everything that she throws our way out of the love and respect we have for her children.”

She exhales softly, giving his arm a comforting squeeze.

“Now, how about you and I join Harry for dinner. I dare not leave him alone with his mother and her meddlesome nature too long.”

“Henrietta is here?”

“Mmmm,” she nods, her lips pressing together in a thin line, “she arrived shortly after the dinner bell was rung.”

“I did not expect her to visit, especially not when Amelia is gravely ill.”

“I am afraid that I do not believe her visit to be for Amelia’s sake but rather her own.”

“She probably wants to witness Amelia herself, seeing as she so desperately clings to the idea that Edgewater rightfully belongs to the Viscount.”

Teresa frowns, casting her gaze downward, “I do wish that you would refrain from discussing Amelia like that, but I…I will not question your grievance.”

“Where is she now?”

“In the dining room, I believe.”

“Then I shall need you to deliver my apologies to the Viscount, for I do not wish to see her face at this given time.” He pauses, “nor will I sit for a meal whilst my beloved is unwell.”

“At least escort me down there,” her words befall that of a plea, “that way you are not left to stew in your own thoughts any longer than you have to be.”

Ernest hesitates, the notion causing him to bristle…but eventually, he nods.

“I…alright.”

The pair begin to walk down the hall towards the dining room, Teresa trying to engage Ernest in gregarious conversation, but as they turn the corner, a frosty voice calls out to them from ahead. Teresa stops almost immediately, her eyes met by an icy blue glare.

“I see that you have taken it upon yourself to entertain your wiles, Miss Sutton.”

“I was simply checking on Mr Sinclaire, Mother,” her last word spoken hastily with a hint of frustration, “it is his family that we are here to see.”

“Keeping company with your sister’s husband alone?” She tuts slightly, “whatever will the servants think?”

“I should hope that they would appreciate my compassion for the Countess’ husband and her children whilst she is ill.”

Henrietta huffs in annoyance, having not expecting Teresa’s witty retort.

“Careful now, Miss Sutton,” she smiles smugly, her words harsh and condescending, “the last thing you want is to be labelled as his dalliance.”

“To even suggest the notion-“

Henrietta chuckles to herself, swiftly changing the target of her bemusement as Ernest stutters, his cheeks reddening with anger.    

“Why are you getting so defensive over a baseless accusation?” She feigns surprise, a gasp of shock escaping her lips, “unless…unless there is some truth to it…”

“I have not and will never entertain the company of another woman. I am faithful to my wife!”

“But is she faithful to you, my Lord?”

Ernest inhales sharply, his eyes widening as his anger begins to boil over. After a moment of silence, he calls out to a member of his household as the lady passes him by.

“Forgive me for troubling you, Cecelia, but I am afraid that I am in need of a favour most urgently.”

The young woman bows her head in acknowledgement, “of course, Sir. What is it that you require?”

“Have a note sent to the Marlcaster estate. Tell them that my darling Mother-in-Law requires a carriage to escort her home at the earliest convenience.”

“But that is not-“

He holds up his hand, the gesture seeming to silence her immediately.

“Tell him that his mother has grown tired and wishes to rest in the comfort of her guest bed.”

“That is a LIE!” Henrietta snipes, turning swiftly with a scowl to face the maid, “I am not some old crone that takes naps in the daylight or needs assistance to complete the smallest of tasks. I am the mother of a Viscount! I DEMAND to be treated as such, even by YOU, Mr Sinclaire.” She smirks coyly, “you are forgetting your station, Sir.”

“And you seem to have forgotten whose home you currently reside.”

He regards Cecelia once more, his expression shifting to one of warmth, “I have changed my mind. Please forget everything that I told you to write down.”

“Do you…not request a carriage, My Lord?”

“On the contrary,” he looks down at his wrists as he speaks, reaching to adjust the cuffs of his shirt, “I do still require a carriage, though I am afraid that the wait is too long for my taste.” He lifts his gaze once more, fixing it on Henrietta, “ask Mr Harris if he would be so kind as to escort her ladyship back to her residence instead. Tell him that I shall pay him triple for his service.”

“And the note?”

“Kindly inform Edmund that his mother is no longer welcome at the Edgewater estate, for neither myself nor my staff are able to entertain her inexcusable and downright insulting presence any longer.”

“H-how dare you-“

“I am not finished,” he interjects, retrieving a pouch of coins from his pocket; he passes it over to Cecelia, his eyes still fixed on Henrietta, “this is a gesture of goodwill, see to it that Mr Marlcaster receives it. Maybe he might be able to purchase himself some earplugs to drown out her irritating voice.”

“Would you please just stop with that incessant whining,” he replies coldly, “my wife is on her death bed, and rather than be by her side I am stood here with you. Do you still not see why I am insulted by your mere presence at this hour?”

To Teresa’s surprise, Henrietta quietens. A young stable-hand approaches, tipping his head in acknowledgement.

“My Lord.”

“See to it that the lady finds her way to a carriage and out of my sight.”

��Certainly, Sir.”

Ernest responds with a curt nod; he spares her no second glance, instead turning on his heel and making his way back along the corridor in the opposite direction, disappearing as Henrietta is removed from the house. Teresa follows along after him, her footsteps hurried.

“Sir, you are going the wrong way!”

“My apologies, Miss Sutton.” He continues on, quickening his pace as he heads towards the stairwell, “but I must bid you goodnight.”

“What about escorting me to dinner?”

“I have spent so long dwelling on what may come to pass that I have forgotten to focus on the present,” he regards Teresa over his shoulder, “I am sorry, Miss Sutton. I know that I agreed to accompany you, but my priority must be my wife and child.”

Before she can get a word out, Ernest disappears up the stairs, completely blanking those that he passes on his way. Dejected, Teresa turns back in the direction to which she came, only to bump into Mr Harper.

“Where has he gone now?”

“Upstairs,” she sighs softly, looking at the flowers that decorate the railings, “he has gone to be with her.”

“Without dinner?”

“He will not eat, Mr Harper. He will not eat or drink…I fear that he is unwell.”

“He is concerned for Amelia’s welfare. We all are.”

“And what if he decides to journey down the wrong path? I worry for him.”

“As do I,” Luke smiles sadly, “but he is tending to Amelia. He will not leave her side.”

“He should be resting."

“I agree,” he tips his head, “but it is also a good thing.”

“How? I am afraid that I do not follow."

 “If he is with Amelia, then we know where to find him.”

“And if he starts to spiral?”

“Then we will be there to catch him,” Luke’s gaze travels to the landing above, his smile softening as he notes the opening and closing of Amelia’s chamber door, “I made a promise…and I intend to keep it.”

[sapphire-weapon]

Chreon is so underrated. The way their relationship could be so DEEP and meaningful and healing for both parties. I'm in my feelings tonight god damn.

I went through this like last week or someshit, where I just got slammed with Chreon feels and had to go lie down for a bit.

In DSC, Leon geeks out at Claire several times about how it's so cool that her brother is in STARS, and he must be really smart and dedicated and all this other stuff, and it's so goddamn cute. Imagine if the two of them had actually gotten a chance to work together for a period of time before everything went to shit. Babby Leon all starstruck (no pun intended) and Chris, being Chris, would almost definitely take the dewy-eyed rookie under his wing. 🥺

So much potential for a traditional romance story between them, with Leon just crushing hardcore but not wanting to screw up their professional relationship -- until it finally comes out that Chris's affections for him in return are less than professional, as well.

But even apart from that, with the way they've actually been written -- Hunnigan basically says it was love at first dork between those two.

Though, that's only like. Half of the story. There's no way of knowing just how long Leon and Chris had actually been friends before meeting face to face. They first canonically spoke all the way back in 1999, so for all we know, they could've had a long-distance friendship not unlike so many other people do via the internet. (Can u believe that me and @godtier have never met irl but we have been staples in each other's lives for over 15 years?)

I would really like to see RE become self-aware about the relationship they've built between these two -- because I don't think that the writing staff over at Capcom is consciously aware of certain things that have been set up and implied between the two of them. I don't think they realize that they've been writing these stories to show Chris as trusting Leon more than he trusts Jill, in some ways. I also don't think they realize that they've shown Leon to be consistently comforted by Chris's presence.

I'm not saying that Capcom should make Chreon canon -- I know that they'd sooner let Leon canonically marry Ashley before so much as suggesting an actual romance between Leon and Chris -- but I'd like to see some acknowledgement of just how deep their friendship seems to run.

But on the headcanon-y side of things, if only the two of them were also more self-aware and were at all the types of guys to actually, like. Think about their own emotions a little bit (as opposed to not at all). How much better off would the two of them be if they were cognizant enough to spend nights together in a way that matters?

Just a quiet night with the two of them together on the couch, not really watching whatever's on TV because Leon is falling asleep while leaning against Chris, who has one arm slung lazily around his shoulders so that his hand dangles uselessly against Leon's arm. Chris knows that he's going to eventually have to make the decision to either drag Leon's sleepy ass to bed or lay him out properly on the couch -- assuming that he, himself, doesn't fall asleep right there along with him.

Anon I want to fuckihng die why did u do this to me

[kuroppiii]

DON’T FILE THOSE DIVORCE PAPERS. but i thought emma was boring i desperately need ur full take geek out plz tell me what I don’t see

i would NEVER divorce you pookie??

(us actually)

everyone gets film freaky in their own way!!! its ok!!!

two film essay posts in less than 24 hrs by ro, someone needs to sedate me or something

( sort of spoilers for emma (2020) under the cut , but nothing explicit , really )

!!! disclaimer i think to really fw regency-ish movies, kind of inherently calls for being into things like their original source material. and trust!! i know its not for everyone!!!

personally, i'm actually a big fan of reading those old and classical kind of books. as in, i have a full, clothbound, BOX SET, of jane austen's novels (emma being one of them). my literature teacher recommended me to read pride and prejudice ONCE and i've been hooked ever since.

yknow people joke that back then that it was all "oh my god you can't show your ankles!!!" and yeah, that's pretty much what it's like when you get down to reading novels from that time 😭 but that's what makes it so entertaining for me! the bridgerton series (which i also really like by association) is an easy example of this. i once saw someone say bridgerton plays out like a kdrama and YES!! that's the level of yearning and pining and slow burn i feed off of

upfront, i liked the movie–even from when its first trailer came out–because its aesthetics visually were just so nice. like yes!!! pastels!! pretty flowers!!! hats with feathers!! tea parties!!! big poofy dresses!!! (and anya taylor joy)

but it was when i watched it for a second time, i found a lot of why i like this specific adaptation of emma is because i think it really got across the vibe of jane austen's writing–especially the humor.

ok now stay with me: i'm not saying you have to read the whole original novel to get it, bc basically i would summarize the reason why the humor is so dry (when usually you would think this rich and old-fashioned vibe of a story should be much more over-the-top and dramatic) is because jane austen was always trying to make fun of all the social constructs of her time. especially for women! (heavy on how her works were ones of satire!)

like it all plays out so bare-bones that you just can't ignore how ridiculous everything sounds, which is what austen felt about all the rules and expectations emma and the other characters were trying to uphold the whole story. i also find that kind of humor from the movie very charming in a simple way, too.

the whole vibe of watching the movie and its characters is very much unserious, and it's a personal favorite in that watching it and listening to the soundtrack makes me feel ok to wallow in my emotions like the characters do. it's very cathardic in that way to me. but yeah by no means is it very action-packed or even conventionally "dramatic", so i get how it can wind up boring.

the character development of emma is always so interesting to me though. it's subtle, especially on the first watch, but it always warms my heart when she goes from thinking she's got everything figured out, to seeing the value of true friendship in harriet and even mrs. bates (MY FAV CHARACTER I CANNOT LIE SHE'S SO FUNNY), and that making her more open to questioning her and her life more, including not being as perfect as she once thought she was.

and that's really why we get that payoff with her and knightley, because he's known her all this time but when she finally recognizes her imperfections and embraces them, that newly found self-awareness us what pushes him over the edge in love. then we get that BEAUTIFUL confession scene under the tree. 🤭🌳

it very much fits the genre of a "romantic" movie, in that it romanticizes everything. but not to the point where it lets you forget what everyone's wants were, and that there were genuine struggles grappling with all those societal rules at the same time.

bc at the end of the day those rules were efforts meant to promote values that could hopefully lead a life of morality, responsibility/duty, and respect to others and yourself (arguably there are rules we face today that try to promote the same things, but they just look much different than rules about showing your ankles lol). i think in emma it's interesting to see just how each character tries to navigate those rules to get what they want out of life from them, and i think it's just a very beautifully-made film overall as well.

[otakween]

Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning

So, I saw The Beginning yesterday at an AMC theater. I saw it subbed to keep things consistent. I'm gonna split up my reaction into two parts: experience and the movie itself. Angry rant ahead...

Side note: Why is this movie called "The Beginning?" Are they planning more...? (I mean, they're always planning more I guess lol).

Theater Experience:

Always such a delight to see an anime movie in theaters, it's becoming as common as every-other-month these days which is very exciting! It's very rare that I get to see a movie like this that's a continuation of a series. Usually I'm not caught up enough to do that (although I did watch the Shirobako and Jujutsu Kaisen movies without watching the shows lol).

I had no idea that they were going to give me trading cards as I walked in!! This seems to becoming a more common gimmick these days. When I saw the most recent MHA movie they gave me a mini manga. More of this please! I know it's just cheap junk, but it makes the whole thing feel like an experience :D

Theater was more crowded than I expected and full of geeks, of course. I heard someone's ring tone go off and it was a Digimon sound effect. When the ad for the vital bracelet played one dude proudly shook his wrist in the air. I saw a Gatomon plush and the dude in front of me got so hype for the digivolutions that he started filming it on his phone (which I don't condone, but it was kinda funny seeing how into it he was).

Not a single child in the crowd. I guess this movie is obvious millennial-bait tho, so that's to be expected. (Also it was 7pm on a dark Thursday).

Cute little intro interview with the director was cute. My brain had to adjust to reading subtitles on a big screen. I guess I just don't watch foreign films outside the home too often.

Movie Reaction (MAJOR SPOLERS AHEAD):

WTF did I watch!? This movie was batshit crazy and I have many conflicting emotions. I feel like it was simultaneously super intense and really bland at the same time? Let me elaborate...

Putting aside the new dude for a second, the 02 cast really didn't do much in this at all. They all kind of acted as a collective instead of feeling like distinct people with their own roles to play. Their entire motivations/existence revolved around Lui's plot line which is really a bummer. Some characters, like Iori and Hikari were especially sidelined and bland (not that Iori was that great to begin with lol).

The only scenes I really liked with the 02 cast were when everyone (especially Miyako) was telling Lui to cut the edgy crap and just talk to them. I like when aloof characters are called out like that. Also, I liked the part where Miyako accused Daisuke and Ken of flirting teehee (queer baiting!? In MY digimon??) That got a laugh out of the audience too.

Okay...moving onto Lui's story. Jesus Christ. I liked where it was going at first and thought the whole grimdark, Madoka angle (major Kyuubey vibes) was interesting (if not a little too over the top), but then (in my opinion) they COMPLETELY bungled things!! So essentially, Ukkomon kills Lui's parents and potentially multiple children in their efforts to "make Lui happy" by making all the humans in his life behave "correctly." Horrifying and effectively creepy (especially in the scene where they "puppet" Lui's parents). This all culminates in Lui "killing" Ukkomon and losing his eye (which then gets replaced with Ukkomon's eye). I was on board for this horror angle, but then the 02 kids were like "awwww, poor Ukkomon~" WHAT. THE. FUCK. A kid tells you that a monster thingy killed your parents and your reaction is "but did you try being their friend??" Nooooo! So basically the rest of the movie is the kids victim blaming/gaslighting Lui into submission and he's like "you know what? It IS my fault that my parents died! I should have been a better friend." NOPE. This madness just ruined the whole thing for me. Like, what the hell were they thinking? Anyway, rant over. I'll go back to talking about the not as heinous things now.

I liked Ukkomon's sea angel-based design. I didn't exactly find them cute but they were good at being creepy. It was definitely disturbing to see what happens when a digimon partner is HATED by their human.

The "Unkomon" joke was funny but they didn't give a translator's note or anything so I was wondering how many people in my theater got it lol (I guess it depends on how much anime you've seen).

Lui's digimon eye looked really stupid and I think they knew that because they covered it up for most of the movie. I think it was more effectively shown in brief closeups but anymore than that it was just too goofy looking to take seriously.

The scenes about digimon bonds and the (obviously fake) threat of losing them were boring and cheesy. I think they were going for heartwarming, but something about it was very forced. The stakes definitely never felt real.

At the beginning of the movie they used smartphones to digivolve instead of their D3s...wha...?

Speaking of D3s, when they faded away (weirdly slowly) at the end and Hikari was like "what even was the digivice for anyway?" I had to laugh. That's what I've been saying! The lore around digivices, D3s, Arcs (or whatever Tamers wanted me to call them) has always been so vague. Anyway, I feel like they should be more concerned. Doesn't this mean they can't digivolve now...? (They acted like the power of friendship would just make it happen somehow, but I'm not convinced).

The updated digivolution scenes were fun (and funny to see on the big screen), but after watching Tamers, they still seemed lazily done comparatively. I still dislike that they show the greater digivolution at the start of the sequence. What's the point of that?

The movie started with Bolero, because of course. I had to roll my eyes at the nostalgia pandering. We also got a random reference to the first Digimon Adventure short film. That felt jarring since the animation style is so different.

So like...Lui time traveled and told his abusive mom to "be nice cuz your son loves you" and that just stopped all abuse forever? Riiiight...What is it with anime's crappy handling of child abuse lately? They pulled this same shit in Belle. You can't stop domestic violence by going "tsk tsk" to the abuser!

Rolling my eyes at Lui's introduction: "He's the first kid to ever partner with a digimon AND he has a super special eye AND cool grey hair AND his digimon can grant wishes." Serious "My OC don't steal!!" vibes.

Wait...I don't think they ever followed through with the "Ukkomon is connected to a digimon God" plot thread. Is that for the sequel or something? (Digimon 02 2 - The End? lol)

We got a little shipping stuff with Miyako and Ken at the end there. They had zero chemistry in the show and they continue to have zero chemistry in the movie...yaaaay.

I feel like, other than Daisuke and Lui, they just gave all the other guys the same haircut and they faded into the background lol. Ken just looks like some guy now.

Ukkomon's eldritch design was cool. I wish they just let him be evil instead of misunderstood...

So yeah, the writing in this was kind of a train wreck but I had fun regardless! Very curious to hear the dubbed version someday. How many people reprised their roles?

[bunnylovesani]

Don’t let anyone tell you they own any concept of a character they didn’t even come up with in the first place.

I wrote hella stories or one shots for bill skarsgard characters and if I saw something that inspired me, I wrote my own version or twist but it was never stealing an idea or plagiarism. Everyone of my posts is straight from my brain to my phone while I’m waiting at the dmv, or in line at Disneyland.

And the idea that stalker anakin is a new concept is literally insane. Just for the kids in the back, let me list what is not unique and never has been an original idea in any fandom:

Stalker

Toxic

Dilf

Ex

Mechanic

Dominant

Submissive

Jealous

Possessive

Trashy

Mafia or criminal type

Drug dealer

Drug addict

Fighter

Biker

Rockstar

Frat boy

Professor or teacher

Boss

Cheater

Married

Psychiatrist

Cop

Model

Photographer

Actor

News reporter

Influencer

Abusive

Lifeguard

Doctor

Lawyer

Rich boy

Fuck boy

Vampire

Pro athlete

Race car driver or street racer

Pilot

Stepdad

Stepbrother

Dads best friend

Brothers best friend

Your best friend

Your best friends boyfriend

Hot neighbor

Hot coworker

I could keep going, but that’s just what I came up with off the top of my head.

You keep doing your thing, and if anyone doesn’t like my opinion, kindly take it out on me and not this girl.

I don’t know how well you deal with getting harassed but most people don’t like it.

Anybody wanna argue or insult or be a cunt, come on over to my blog and pick on me. This is a safe place where we can express ourselves and rewrite the stories, we wish ended differently or make our favorite characters even more toxic than they started.

This is not the place to act like the mean girl, geek squad, gate keepers from the cunty castle in a galaxy far, far away!

I wasn’t going to comment on the situation any further but this message was so nice I had to reply and say thank you so much for the support ♡

I understand if you’re going to be a part of a community then you should have ‘etiquette’ and I would normally follow that but in this instance I genuinely don’t think I took her au and half the people getting involved haven’t read and compared the two fics. I’ve also seen stalker Anakin fics on ao3 and wattpad before so I don’t think it’s original enough to claim as your own idea.

MOREOVER, you could argue my Anakin isn’t even a stalker: a stalker is a person who ‘pursues someone obsessively to the point of aggressive harassment’. This does not fit the bill for my character at all.

On a side note that list is very handy for future fic inspo!

Thanks again for the nice words from you and the other lovely people in my inbox, I see them, I appreciate you all and I’d love it if we moved on now ♡

[broken-clover]

damn ur last fic was so sad... good asf though... can you please say into this microphone that bedman and delilah will be together and happy and safe forever

Alright alright yall have broken me, I try to do edgy stuff with sad endings sometimes but I'm really such a massive softie with a weakness for happy endings and every time it takes so much willpower to not immediately do a happy ending followup (looking at you Starman) but I guess sometimes I am simply not tough enough for downer endings and that is just who I as a person.

So you earned yourself a special little treat this time, anon, a special edition Tumblr exclusive. Obsolescence gets an epilogue. Here's Nostalgia Machine.

(Obviously with the release of Delilah in Strive, this isn't canon-compliant, but neither was the first. Let's just operate under our own little canon situation)

-

“I’m the worst.”

“Aww, come on…” The words came out well-meaning, but half-hearted.

“See? You can’t even pretend like I’m wrong. I can’t believe I just…let this happen.”

“Hey, hey-” A comforting hand placed itself on her shoulder, flinching slightly as it started to shake. “C’mon, kiddo, don’t start cryin’.”

“I could have done something. I just left him, I j-j- ju-”

She was ushered to her feet. “You’re gonna give yourself a panic attack with the way you’re breathin’, let’s just go outside a minute.”

The fresh air evened her breathing, but her lip still trembled and her eyes remained wet.

“Little bit better, Delilah?”

“I don’t want to feel better.” She replied bitterly. “I don’t deserve to feel better. This is all my fault.”

“Well, it ain’t no use beating yourself up. Did’ja come all the way out here just to feel bad about yourself?”

“...”

“...Shit, ‘m sorry, that came out way harder than I meant.”

“...You still won’t tell me. How do you know my brother, Mr. Low?”

“Eh…long story. Important part’s that he ‘n I kinda had the same problem. Neither of us were much help to each other, but part ‘a me’s still glad we were able to talk. Kept taklin’ about you. Sounded like he cared about you a whole lot. Dammit, ‘m not helping, am I?

“No, I get it. And you’re right, just wallowing isn’t helping anything. Even if we grow up and end up going our separate ways, he’s still my brother…I can’t just leave him if I know he needs help.” She swallowed, gazing forlornly at the door. “Come on, let’s get you fixed.”

The two re-entered the small shed. Though the walls were deeply rusted and corners cobweb-ridden, it was entirely empty, aside from a jumble of strewn machine parts that occupied the far wall.

Axl heard the girl’s breathing shift, but she didn’t turn away again. She undid the straps on her pack and swung it around to deposit the contents on the ground. He hadn’t been much of a computer geek way back when, and he imagined things had only gotten more complicated. The best he could venture was some kind of screen that vaguely resembled a laptop, but for all he knew, it was for making bread.

“Which one ‘a these is the fancy toy you were tellin’ me about?”

“I didn’t bring it.” Delilah said. “It’s going to be shipped over. I wanted to make sure nothing would break in transit. Iris is helping me put the finishing touches on the current model. Right now we’re on the P5. Not perfect, but it’s built on a system that we can keep adding new features to as needed. The important part is just that there’s enough storage space to fit an entire consciousness in it without overloading the software.”

“Oh. What’s all this, then?”

“Covering the basics.” Delilah replied. “Repair equipment, spare power supplies, methods of communication. Translators are a pain in the ass, took me forever to make one that should be compatible with this system, but I did a ton of practice runs to make sure ahead of time that it’d work.”

Axl wasn’t sure how to help with the delicate electronics, so he chose to stand back and watch. He knew enough to tell that several of the machine’s parts were rusted to near-uselessness, and he was genuinely surprised when Delilah plugged some blocky-looking piece of machinery into an open port and it actually started to hum.

“I shouldn’t be surprised, but the battery is dead- dead.” She took another cable and connected it to something in the chassis. “It’ll be a little bit before it even has enough power to tell you it needs power.” After a few more keystrokes, Delilah sat back on her haunches and sighed. “I can’t guess when the last time was that it had any kind of maintenance.”

“It’ll get there. Just gonna take a bit.” Replied Axl. He tried to think of how to get her somewhat distracted. “So…that P5 you mentioned, how exactly are you gonna move him from this to that? Call me an idiot, but it doesn’t make much sense. Gonna take the head off this thing and slap it on?”

She didn’t reply at first. “More complicated than that. I’m taking his spirit out of this old heap and putting it into something new.”

His face must have shown his confusion obviously enough, because she continued talking as soon as she saw it. “Soul Grafting’s still a touchy legal mess, but I think someone in Illyria took my proposal and passed over the review process. I’ve heard most people wait years for a response, mine came out in a month. Any kind of magic that uses human souls requires a lot of approvals and equipment. I think Anji pulled some strings.”

“You think he’d do that? For something like this?”

He was left without a response again. This time, it stretched on and on, to the point where he wanted to ask, and then it became long enough that it felt too awkward to do so. They both merely waited in silence, unsubtly trying to not stare at the broken machine.

A little electronic ping finally broke the silence, bouncing off the shed walls. Delilah immediately jerked to attention, dragging the console back into her lap.

“‘s it working now?”

“Mmm.” Already too distracted to reply, she immediately threw herself into whatever work had to be done. Axl peered over her shoulder to watch. Windows popped open and flew by, covered in all kinds of symbols he couldn’t read. It finally settled on a blank box, one that quickly started to fill with strings of numbers.

“Wow.” He said. “I have no idea what any of this means.”

“Hold on, it’s set to binary right now. It’ll take a bit of time to switch modes, but I can read binary pretty well. Make sure the cable over there doesn’t unhook itself.”

“Now that, I can do.” It seemed better to give her some space, anyway. The wire in question hadn’t moved since she’d plugged it in, but he still kept an eye on it. “Figured out what the numbers are?”

“It’s…” She squinted. “Nothing. I thought there was some pattern I was missing, but it’s nothing. Only a stream of numbers and letters. Not a message. Completely incoherent.” He watched her adjust her glasses and squint. “The strings are definitely coming from the bed, it has enough power to send out a reply, but none of it follows any sense. None that I can see, anyway. He just isn’t responding. Is something broken?”

Axl knelt down, thumbing at the metal sphere lying in the dirt. “Sounds like something’s wrong. D’ya see anything busted?”

“No. That’s the part I’m confused about. They’re degraded, but all of the essentials still function well enough. This shouldn’t be a problem. Maybe the binary translation is the problem? Maybe I’m remembering my letters wrong…?”

“If it ain’t a problem with the machine, maybe it’s a problem with his head. How long’s he been alone in here?” The look on Delilah’s face immediately made him regret his words, but he continued anyway. “Don’t think the machine’s broken. I think he’s broken.”

She moved to get up. Axl grabbed her arm. “Nah, nah. Not a lost cause yet. ‘cause it means there’s still something there. Just gotta find it.”

He returned his attention to the machine. “Hey, little- uh, guess you’re a lot bigger now, huh? ‘Bedman,’ that’s whatcha called yourself. That’s who you are. You know that much, yeah?”

Silence. And then, a piston began to hiss. The broken remains of a pair of fingers twitched almost imperceptibly.

“Big guy? Delilah’s here, your sister’s here to help you. Dunno if you remember me, but you gotta remember her, right?”

What remained of an arm shuddered and then went still. A faint light started to shine from the pit of its eye socket. It flickered, almost like a blink, but it was impossible to tell if that was what it was meant to be, or if they were just projecting the idea. 

Delilah looked between the frame and her console. Her eyes widened just slightly. “H-hold on. It’s changed. It’s repeating now.” She held it up for him to see.

01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001 01001001

“What’s that mean?”

“It’s just an ‘I’. He’s just repeating the letter. I don’t know why, is it just some simple string it’s stuck on?”

“Hmm…” Axl pivoted on his knees again. “You hear me in there? ‘I.’ Y’know that much. Who’s ‘you,’ then?”

The eye flickered again, settling on a dim shine.

“Huh? Now it’s coming up different…”

01001001 01000001 01001101

01001001 01000001 01001101

01001001 01000001 01001101

01001001 01000001 01001101

“‘I-A-M’, it’s three letters in a row now. He’s…responding?” A hint of life came back into her voice. “He- you actually got a response? He’s talking to you?”

Axl grinned, giving it a friendly pat. “‘I am,’ ‘I am,’ now we’re getting somewhere. I know you can hear me. Lemme hear you. What do you wanna say?”

01001001 01000001 01001101 01000100 01000101 01000001 01000100 00001010

01001001 01000001 01001101 01000100 01000101 01000001 01000100 00001010

01001001 01000001 01001101 01000100 01000101 01000001 01000100 00001010

The girl suddenly faltered. Axl moved closer, but she turned the screen away from him.

“Delilah. Tell me what it says.”

“...’I AM DEAD.’”

“‘Dead?’” Axl parroted. “C’mon, that’s nonsense! You see Delilah here, right? She’s here, so how can you be dead?”

The bedposts shuddered. The fragmented remains of a hand stuttered across the dirt.

01001110 01001111 01010100 01010010 01000101 01000001 01001100

“‘NOT REAL.’”

“But- but she’s right here!”

Delilah shook her head. “It’s not changing. He’s just repeating those two lines over and over.”

“He thinks he’s dead. And he thinks you’re just something he imagined up…like he’s gone crazy enough he can pretend you’re here.”

He stood up and marched towards the exit. “Wh- wait, where are you going?!” Delilah said, reaching out for him. “Don’t leave me alone!”

“‘m not leaving, I’m making a point.” From his back pocket, Axl pulled out a sickle, twirled it, and sank the sharp end into the wall by the door. 

The screech of metal-on-rusted-metal sent her hands clapping over her ears. Delilah looked on in panicked confusion as the man hacked at the wall with reckless abandon. The weapon was not meant for cutting through something so solid, but the walls had rusted to the point where he could saw through with enough pressure. They tore clean through the door hinges and tossed the entire thing into the street, and jagged cuts widened the entrance until nearly the entire wall had been roughly disassembled and scattered along the ground.

“‘Course you can’t convince yourself, nothin’ but a wall to look at.” Axl said, panting from the exertion. “There’s a whole world out there. When’s the last time you got to see it?”

The sun made clouds of dust shine like summer snow. Trees on the other side of the path showed off their vibrant leaves with pride. Distant chatter from further downtown murmured in the wind. When he moved out of the way, Axl watched how the light fell on where Delilah sat, surrounding her in a radiant aura.

“See? There’s the sun, and the trees, and your sister’s right here. It’s all right there. All real.”

The top of the frame craned its neck towards the light. The rest of the body started to teeter as it moved further away

“Shh-shh-shh-” he gave the machine a gentle pat, doubling as a way to keep it from knocking itself over. “It’s alright, big guy. I’ve got you. ‘m not good at this whole ‘comfort’ thing, but I’m here. Delilah ‘n me, we’re here.”

It seemed to turn and face him. Slowly, cautiously, the metal sphere pushed against his hand. Axl let it settle against his arm and slide down into his lap. He pet it again in slow strokes

“See? Just me. You know me. I’ve got you. You’re gonna be alright.”

The bedframe gave a brassy warble. Something opaque and dark oozed from its one eye socket. 

Delilah practically threw aside her monitor to scramble over to her brother's side. She scooped up one of his broken hands and held it to her face, which had already become as wet as his. 

“Romeo…I’m so, so sorry…”

The three sat in tranquil silence. Abandoned on the ground, Delilah’s computer offered one more reply.

01001001 01000110 01001111 01010010 01000111 01001001 01010110 01000101 01011001 01001111 01010101

[curiouschaosstarlight]

Bounced back and forth, think I'll just make this post-

(Warning: Under the read more, if tumblr keeps the read more intact, is me, an aromantic/aegofictosexual person ramble-ranting about aroaceness in fandom. You're free to scroll past if you wish, or to disagree with me on whatever takes for whatever reason, this is just my one opinion on something I consider to be a big pet peeve of mine.)

(If you read this and go "but I don't do that!", then I trust you, and you're not the kind of person I'm talking about. I'm moreso referring to some things I've personally either witnessed or experienced in previous fandoms, and nobody this applies to will actually see this post unless it, like, gets a bajillion notes...um, hopefully.)

It is so. fricking. frustrating. having my only possible representation in media be like...[that one character] from DR. You know. the otaku or "geek" that's portrayed to be unattractive, "gross", and "weird", and will eventually express sexual attraction to "3D" people, because their attraction to and obsession with 2D was never a sexuality, but intended to be some creepy, incomprehensible thing, and a way to demonstrate their shortcomings and inability to actually court someone.

Characters who actually match my sexuality and experience will never exist unless I make them with my own hands, because both allos and other aces consider me "not ace enough".

This honestly plays a big part in why I'm really touchy about aroace headcanons; because often times they're blatantly used to say people aren't allowed to ship [character a] with [character b] -- and the person making the headcanon is usually 100000% fine with [character a] being put in a gay ship, but will loudly complain if they see them featured in the (usually het, usually canonically teased) first ship. Because it was never about actually writing an aroace character, it was about reframing "ewwww you like THAT ship?? gross uxu what's wrong with you??" into "uhhhmmmm but that character's aroace-coded" "sorry, I can't see them as anything other than aroace" (yeah, I didn't ask? Everyone else gets to talk about THEIR ships with that character and you enthusiastically support them...) And it's like... I feel like these types of headcanons specifically are always presented like, inherently, I'm totally, obviously going to agree with them, and if I don't, then clearly I'm just not aroace. (I wish that was more of a dramatization, but I had someone who I previously told my seuxality to go "oh. well. I'm asexual, so I see this character as aroace-coded, (and I'm right)" <- not outright said but very, very heavily implied, especially because they continuously insisted the character was "canonically aroace-coded", and I just had to sit there like... "...okay, but I'm aroace. (and I think saying that about a clearly het-intended character that's constantly being flirted and canonically shipped in extra side materials with is kinda hurtful)" <- I didn't say that part)

And the fact that no one respects if a character is canonically het or bi kind of plays into why I don't care when a character is canonically gay or ace. If everyone's sexuality is just "gay (MAYBE ace!!!)" or "okay but have you CONSIDERED they might be bi??? (stop putting them in het ships >:((( )" only when it's convenient, then why should I care for my downtime? It doesn't change canon. And I don't feel represented by people's on-the-whim, flimsy-as-fuck headcanons.

But it does still piss me off when people take a reboot or remake or continuation and flagrantly disregard a character's canon sexuality.

And it's upsetting that aroace characters 1. aren't really a thing for the most part, and 2. get written over when they are a thing.

I imagine that when I finally manage to finish one of my stories or games and, y'know, all of my characters are bi/pan/demi because that's what I tend to write...that's probably just gonna get changed to be "whoops everyone's gay lol" by the fandom, and I've already come to terms with that. (Well, by the part of the fandom that isn't populated by "ugh, everything is so WOKE now!" assholes, I'm just gonna pretend they won't even show up because they aren't worth it.) But then, it's also like...if someone officially continued or adapted my properties, and they changed my characters to be all straight or maybe one character gets to be kinda-sorta gay or something, I. I would definitely lose my shit.

-vague gestures-

I don't really know where I'm going with this, I just wanted to say my whole piece without having to worry about being accused of derailing/not listening to a post-

But basically if you're outraged whenever a gay character's sexuality is changed for any reason in any context, I better hear you be that upset about the rest of the possible orientations, and not pulling that shit yourself. I swear to god.

[maya-matlin]

Hi Ashton, I love your blog and wanted to ask whether there are any ships that you WANTED to like and objectively know are good couples but which you just can't muster any actual feelings for? For me it's Brulian. Like objectively they're great at least starting in s8 when they suddenly rewrote Julian's whole personality and I love that Brooke found happiness. BUT they just don't spark anything for me when I see them on screen, their chemistry is meh, their connection feels forced, and what is with Julian's ongoing obsession with Brooke's high school life and the fact that she was "popular" even when they're in their mid to upper 20s lol! Another one is Steroline. Friends to lovers, personalities that should perfectly complement each other and so on, but in reality they were so flat, and the acting and writing never sold me on them being anywhere close to in love. And the biggest one: Joey/Pacey. Everyone I know adores them and I wanted to ship them, but they just go overboard with the nonstop bickering to the point where they almost never seem truly compatible to me, Joey keeps choosing other guys over Pacey for the final two seasons - even that Eddie guy and then some rando from NY - and I just always feel like there's this imbalance where about 90% of the time Pacey is a lot more into Joey than she's into him? Anyway those are my confessions re solid ships I wanted to love but just don't give me any real feels. I would love to hear yours!

Hi! 💜 Thank you so much!

So to begin with, I definitely agree about Brulian. Their relationship is fine and relatively healthy, but I find it impossible to care about their romantic relationship. It's almost unfair that I compare them to Brucas because objectively, Brooke's relationship with Julian had a much stronger foundation and he treated her better than Lucas ever did. I mean, Julian was in a much better place by the time they became a couple and didn't have Lucas's baggage. But at the same time, so much time was dedicated to Brooke's reaction to her first love betraying her with her best friend to the point she spent years avoiding love. Even when she seemed to think she'd found it such as when she dated Chase, eventually Brooke was forced to realize that it wasn't the real thing and likely just a rebound. I guess I wanted more from their relationship? The chemistry was fine, but nothing special. They lacked the rawness of Brooke and Lucas. Sometimes, chemistry isn't everything. But when the story is nothing special and it's so late into the series AND the chemistry isn't grabbing you, this leads to a situation where it's difficult to root for the pairing even when you want to. But yeah, Julian clearly had some insecurities regarding the fact he was the high school geek and romanticized the idea of Brooke and co's high school experience. Because obviously, nothing could ever be better than growing up in a small, southern, most definitely conservative town where its mayor murdered his own brother.

I can't speak for Stefan/Caroline yet because I've still only seen the first season of the show, but I understand why you feel that way. I've seen that sentiment expressed before. On paper, they're my type of ship, so I'm curious how I'll respond to their romantic relationship. Because so far, I'm really enjoying Stefan's relationship with Elena and hating the inevitable Elena/Damon thing.

Yeah.. I can't agree with your Pacey/Joey opinion at all. But I will say that Joey really suffered writing wise because she needed to be a possible love interest to both Dawson and Pacey. So Joey needed to appear as though she loved Pacey and was committed to him. But at the same time, there needed to be enough doubt and ambiguity that whenever the writers were ready, they could pull the plug and act like it was always Dawson for Joey. Which is basically what happened for like a season. As a result, Pacey appears more into Joey because he had no reason to be conflicted in universe. IDK. I promise I'm not trying to change your opinion. Just trying to discuss what I think went wrong LOL. Anyways, I'm sorry you weren't able to invest in their relationship!

I think my actual answers are likely to be a disappointment, but I'll try.

Fiona/Imogen (Degrassi): Maybe it's because I wasn't super into Fiona's story lines during this time. Maybe I just struggled to care about any relationship that wasn't Zig and Maya's in season 12. But for some reason, I never cared about these two. I acknowledge they were sweet and overall healthy. If I was watching for the first time now, I'd probably be on board. But because I already know how their story line plays out, there's no excitement for me? So I don't see my opinion on their relationship ever changing.

Dallas/Alli (Degrassi): I blame my disinterest on the fact Alli went from boyfriend to boyfriend for multiple seasons. The writers' favorite pastime was luring Alli into a false sense of security before her latest relationship blew up in some brutal fashion. Dallas was boyfriend #5, right after Alli's abusive (brief) husband. It's obvious to me Dallas was truly in love with Alli and treated her the best out of all of her boyfriends, but I never bought it on Alli's end. I feel like Alli settled for Dallas after her marriage came to a shocking, traumatizing end and entered a relationship with him while she was still healing from that. Besides, I think this story line was done even better with Dave, someone I actually believed Alli loved, following her first two terrible relationships. The writers not so subtly traded one, black main character for another and pushed Dave out of the show the minute Dallas gained prominence.

Clay/Quinn (OTH): Overall, the later seasons weren't as well written as the early ones. I feel like there was a certain pressure to immediately establish Clay and Quinn as the couple to root for. Before we were familiar with their individual characters, they were being shoved into scenes together, confiding in each other over Clay's dead wife and Quinn's failed marriage. It didn't work for me? I mean, I felt more watching the flashbacks to Clay and Sara's romance than I ever felt with Clay and Quinn in three seasons. They were fine. It's nice they made each other happy, and they were a cute family with Logan. But I was indifferent to the relationship itself.

Tim/Lyla (Friday Night Lights): To be fair, I've only seen this show once. Everything indicates they'd be a couple I'd like. The chemistry was there. It's hard not to invest in the "guy falls for his best friend's girlfriend/ex" story line unless it's Archie and Betty. The actors were gorgeous together. Tim brought out a more fun, lighter side to Lyla. But I couldn't bring myself to care about them, and I'm not sure why. Something didn't feel right.

[kingy7]

Let's Talk About Wrestling

I am a Geek. I am totally comfortable with this. In fact the older I get the more comfortable I am. Being a Geek comes with its challenges, particularly in ones youth. Being the 'Star Trek' kid at school isn't fun. However as one grows and those around them do too, it becomes less of a taboo to discuss love of all things geeky. More so now perhaps than ever as franchises like Marvel and Doctor Who become more and more mainstream.

However there is one area of my Geekiness that still baffles people, one passion of mine that many simply cannot understand and one that still carries a stigma. You see, I am a proud Geek but I'm also a wrestling fan.

Let's take a look at the three stages of my wrestling origin story:

There's always a new fad when you're a kid. He-Man, Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers. Pop culture phenomena that spring seemingly out of nowhere, become the driving force of playground life then disappear without trace save for a mild embarrassment that we ever enjoyed them in the first place. And so it was in 1991 when suddenly all anyone wanted to talk about was wrestling. Specifically WWF wrestling as that was the only type most could watch in those days. I don't recall exactly what piqued my interest. It was as if one day I knew that wrestling was the next big thing and that I had to be invested in it. The cool action figures may have played a part too. In fact, I owned an Ultimate Warrior figure before I knew who he was or indeed how bad he was. That latter realisation wouldn't come until phase two of my wrestling journey but we're getting ahead of ourselves.

We were lucky enough to have Sky TV as this was the only way to watch WWF in those days. Again I have no memory of how exactly it transpired but somehow I was aware that SummerSlam was showing on Sky Movies (not Sky Sports, that should have been a clue) and as it was broadcast at 1AM my Dad taped it and the next day I watched my first wrestling show.

Incidentally having Sky TV had the knock on effect of making those who had the service the centre of our fledgling wrestling communities. My neighbour would regularly 'call round' to watch the events as would friends from school in the years that followed.

SummerSlam '91 was a curious PPV (Pay Per View, American Audiences had to pay for each event whereas in the UK they were shown for 'free' on Sky) in that it features a 'double main event'! One of these events wasn't even a match at all in the traditional sense, it was a wedding. The pun being that the participants were a 'match made in heaven'. The other featured as a tag team the two biggest stars in wrestling at the time Hulk Hogan and the life size version of my action figure - The Ultimate Warrior.

What struck me immediately was how clearly drawn the characters were. I could tell instantly who I was supposed to cheer and who deserved my boos. Early in the show The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase cut a promo (wrestling speak for yammering on the microphone) and I turned to my Dad and said "I don't want him to win because he thinks having money makes him better than everyone else". Little did I know this was the first time I would be successfully 'worked' by a wrestler.

Later in the show I would find some new favorites. Brett Hart, The Bushwackers and of course our countryman The British Bulldog.

I was taken in by the spectacle of it all. The over the top action, the hysterical commentary and the larger than life characters. I was certain to watch the next show. I was so invested that I felt the need to stand during the 'wedding' section of the show. Something I have never confessed to anyone.

It's worth noting that SummerSlam '91 does not hold up to modern scrutiny displaying as it does homophobia and racism. These are tropes that to this day are not entirely absent from wrestling and will always cause me conflict.

Over the next few years WWF became a way of life. I watched the shows, collected the trading cards and action figures and even attended a live event. Such was its grip on British popular culture that one year on from my introduction SummerSlam '92 was held in Wembley Stadium. Absent from that show was Hulk Hogan.

And with Hulk eventually would go my interest in the 'sport'. He became my hero, and as the whole show was built around him it was hard to accept anyone else as the 'top guy'. I soldiered on for a while before stopping watching at SummerSlam '93 almost exactly two years after I'd started.

And as so many fads do, wrestling in the UK became a forgotten past time. Never spoken of at school and regarded with scorn for the poor souls who still watched it.

The question I was asked most over those years, usually by adults, was "Don't you know it's fake?". Yes I did. Everyone told me frequently enough. But I chose to ignore it. I chose to pretend it was real. This is something that non fans seem unable to grasp. Wrestling is no more fake than films and as a result can be no less real if you choose to allow it to be. Maybe we'll take a closer look at that another time.

The next time I watched wrestling was in 1998. Five years may not seem like a long time but the difference between a 12 year old and a 17 year old is like a lifetime.

Had you asked me at that age if I had any interest in wrestling I may well have laughed. It was a part of my childhood, that I now viewed with an ironic detachment. I looked down on younger me who had been taken in by this fake sport. I had no idea that I was about to become a fan for life.

It started with a video game. WWF Warzone. Myself and my friends has been playing it on the N64 and enjoying the fighting mechanics and the characters. We were surprised to see some old favorites in there, The Undertaker, The Bulldog and Brett Hart. Then as we played more we came up with the idea of maybe watching an event for old times sake. See what it was like now?

That event was Survivor Series '98 and it could not have been a better re-introduction.

What we didn't know at the time was that the WWF title had been vacated (It was this whole thing with The Undertaker and Kane and Stone Cold Steve Austin) and so the whole event would be a tournament to crown the new champion. It's rare that a wrestling show has one story over the whole night and even rarer that it's so accessible for an audience who haven't watched in years. Through the tournament format we got to know most of the main characters and saw how they related to each other. We saw the planting of seeds for future rivalries and the twists and turns that were now central to the narrative. I've often wondered if we'd have chosen the previous month's show or the one after if we'd have been as hooked.

But hooked we were, as Survivor Series introduced us to a new generation of grapplers, the aforementioned Steve Austin, Mankind and The Rock being standouts. The latter of course would become one of the most famous people in the world but here he was just getting into his groove as a bad guy. His betrayal of the fans at the end of the show was what compelled us to watch the next episode. The sudden turn with seemingly no reason left an unresolved cliffhanger that demanded an answer. This was where I really started to think about wrestling from a story telling perspective. As a kid it was all about the superheroic characters, but this was different. It was as if the matches served mainly to drive the story onward and the soap opera like sagas were the real draw. I began to think about the wrestlers as playing pieces and the writer as a chess master whose job it was to position them ready for their next match.

Since that event I have barely missed a monthly PPV. My interest has waxed and waned but even at times when i've been unable to watch the shows, I've maintained an interest and followed the story. There have been major lulls in wrestling over the years since. The Cena years were a struggle and the less said about Roman Reigns before he was a bad guy, the better. However the third turning point in my wrestling journey would come not from the stalwart WWE (they got the F out) but from a new company called AEW.

You see WWE had gotten pretty boring by the 2010's. There were no big stars who captured the imagination and the in-ring style was familiar to the point of tedium. I kept an eye on the developments and watched Wrestlemania every year but there was no passion for it in me anymore.

That would change when I heard that there was a new company opening its doors, one that promised to be an alternative, to deliver exactly the kind of entertainment that WWE was not.

It took me a while to get into it if I'm honest. The style was different and the action spectacular but it was so far removed from what I'd thought of as 'wrestling' that I found myself struggling to follow it.

Then something clicked and everything I'd been missing since the heady days of the 'attitude era' was back. Not just back but better. And through AEW I discovered different styles of wrestling and began learning more about its history.

I still watch AEW weekly, I have attended one of their shows as well as local British shows and I would say that my love of wrestling as an art form is at an all time high.

I know many people will still laugh but wrestling is something I care about. It's a form of storytelling that can't be seen elsewhere and above all I love stories. Whether they're written in a book by a novelist or told in the ring by enormous muscled maniacs.

[mllelaurel]

Starlight Enclave - first five chapters

Wow, Salvatore has VASTLY improved on female characters through the years. Already there are more than four named ones (guess how many Shard had?), none of them are described in terms of how fuckable they, they are allowed to be competent and successful instead of refrigerator bait/cannon fodder, and they have internality. This better hold, or I shall be most disappointed. 

I like Dab’nay in particular. She seems cool. 

Okay, I probably should go back to spoiler cuts at this point, as this is an actual recent book. 

-

‘“She was half elf and half drow,” Gromph dryly replied. “That is sin enough.” 

Kimmuriel shrugged and let it go.”

Man, Kimmy’s mellowed out over the years. Back in Shard, he would have been high-fiving Gromph on that statement. In a lineface way. 

(Oh, hey, I can copy-paste from Hoopla. Hurrah!)

-

Fucking Gromph. Why is your name like that??!!! Also apparently he’s real creepy about Catti-Brie. And despite what I’m about to say about her below, I would not wish that on her in any way shape or form. 

-

‘Racist because my goddess said so and that is a hill I will die on’ was nnnnot a great intro to Catti-Brie. ( can only assume she’ll grow as a person. Ideally within this book. But as of this point, the amount of microagression Drizzt puts up with from her is. Um. Not low. 

-

Speaking of Drizzt. Ya boy seems depressed. Like ‘I took a wonderful and refreshing eight hour nap starting at 5:00 PM and why do I feel like shit? I think I’ll go back to sleep’ depressed. 

-

I really want to know how the fuck Entreri went from too pissed at Jarlaxle (for valid reasons) to be in the same room with him, to them being besties again. Bob better give us the flashback of them working shit out. Or a short story. Or something. 

Okay, I suspect what happened was Jarlaxle got enough words in edgewise to tell Entreri that he did not betray him of his own free will. And got emotionally naked enough to not only admit he’d left himself unguarded enough for Kimmuriel to alter his memories, but to convince Entreri there was no way he was lying. 

How he got Entreri to not kill Kimmuriel after that is another question. Possibly by making sure they’re never in the same room again for the next hundred years. 

Whatever is going on with Jarlaxle and Kimmuriel is a whole ‘nother question. Questions. I have many.  

With any of these, I can assume lots of things. But what I want is text answers. On the page. With alphabet. 

-

I do kind of love that Entreri and Zak are getting along like a house on fire. Not only because it makes me happy, but it says good things about their mental states. Given how similar they are, the fact that they are responding positively and empathetically to this other person who reminds them of themselves is very, very good. 

And Jarlaxle is watching them, rubbing his hands in glee. “Respect was important between those two...” indeed. Boy, you just want a threesome. Or at least to not commit Geek Social Fallacy #4, but you want it real bad! 

...Shit, now I want that threesome. Ffffffffff. 

-

“[Jarlaxle] used his favorite wand, gluing the crafts together with a glob of viscous goo...” Okay, I know how that wand works, I’ve seen it in Servant of the Shard. But also, we allllll know what that sounded like. 

-

Okay, I just really like this line: “They, we two, Bregan D’aerthe, Luskan itself—we are all Jarlaxle’s treasure. He’s like a dragon, but he hoards people and power instead of gold and gems.”

Also namechecking the dragon sisters! I’m kind of hoping they return and I haven’t even ‘met’ them properly yet. 

[hirazuki]

Okay this might be weird ass timing, but I saw the asl someone sent you about Naruto, and your brief mention of the Villain type characters at least EMBRACING their flaws rather than glossing over like Konoha does, and while first I wanted to chime in with like, YES SAME, my favorite characters are Hidan and Kakuzu, ESPECIALLY Kakuzu, and that's part of why - and boy do I have beef with Kishimoto about how SHIT their arc ended because he wanted to show off how Cool and Smart Shika was and Naruto's new move (Kakuzu should NOT have been killed by that he's too smart his death was insulting I'll die on that hill, and I'm not even gonna start on Hidan) but like—

One thing that's always pissed me off is that when I read Kakuzu's backstory from the data book, I was STUNNED Kishimoto never once addressed it as a flashback like the other villains got - FILLER villains got more than he did and his story is SO GOOD - except I think one brief acknowledgement by Fu in some anime filler? Whatever, the point is, it occurs to me that his backstory makes both Takigakure AND Konoha look less than perfect, given the jist is that Taki yeeted him in prison for failing to kill Hashirama. I wonder if that's why Kishimoto never wanted to address it?

Okay, so first -- never feel weird for sending me Naruto asks!! Or Bleach asks! Or anything about any series/media/whatever I enjoy or I have even mildly dabbled in! Even if we have different opinions on things, I am always happy to geek out about shared interests ^^

YES EXACTLY, Kakuzu especially falls into this category (I love Hidan too, but he's a bit of a loose canon and as far as I can remember, doesn't have nearly as strong ties to his hometown as Kakuzu once had to Taki; I don't think he was ever enmeshed in upper level village politics like that). But yes, Kakuzu! I have no problem with how that fight played out or its conclusion, but I suspect that's only because while I enjoy these two, I'm not particularly attached to them, and the resolution of that conflict ticked off my own personal boxes for being "satisfactory," which is a very individual thing obviously. I absolutely get where you're coming from, and if something similar had happened to Orochimaru, for instance, I would be Very Upset.

Kakuzu's backstory is fascinating and honestly very demonstrative of the early days of the establishment of the village system and the various political considerations and machinations going on, ties in closely with our protag group since it directly involves one of the founders of Konoha, and is a compelling backstory to a member of one of the main antagonist groups of the series, so SAME???????? I was very surprised when I found out that Kishimoto had a super detailed, super relevant on multiple levels backstory for him that never got properly incorporated, and the only reason I can think of for leaving it out of the manga is it was cut due to editors. Idk why though, it's very well-developed as a plot point and backstory. I especially don't get why it wasn't included in the anime, given all the filler we get (< and I say this as someone who unironically loves fillers!!), because yes, you're right -- it's briefly alluded to by Fuu in the second chunin exams held in Suna, which is a filler arc towards the end of Shippuden. We've had filler mini-arcs within filler arcs themselves (for instance, Jiraiya's novel within Tsunade's tsukuyomi dream), so it wouldn't have been a stretch at all to do a brief glimpse into Kakuzu's past within the chunin exam filler arc... idk, dude, I've got nothing. I can't imagine it would be because it'd make Taki and Konoha look bad, because there's stuff like Zabuza and Kiri, Gaara and Sasori and Suna, and like... the entirety of Itachi and Konoha; all the villages including Konoha have looked less than perfect from the get-go. All I can think of is someone or multiple someones on the production team at SP didn't really care for Kakuzu so they never considered it, and it just came down to the team's personal preferences as to what they’d include as filler or not?

It's utterly baffling.