#i feel so pathetic !!!!!! but this has made me cry like 5 times the past few days

[saviorkink]

x

[365granitegirlx]

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Things We Buried Low

Tags/Warnings/Head’s Up: Vessel x fem!reader, reader has tits and a pussy, gn pet names, newly established relationship, bit of a slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff that becomes smut, checking-in, fingering (f receiving), 69, cum swallowing (I don't shame but for sleep's sake don't do it if you don't want to or if you don't know their history)

A/N: this could be about anyone’s fav, but vessel is seriously my muse right now.

MDNI 18+

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

“And who is this one about?” You ask softly as you look up from the leather bound journal. 

Vessel barely meets your gaze and sighs. The newness, and frankly, the rawness, of this relationship and your attraction to one another has reduced you both to nervous teenagers. But tonight isn’t one of those filled with soft giggles and kisses under the throw blankets on your couch; no, the evening has been spent sharing secrets…baring souls…revealing flaws. You know he’s hurt. You know there’s a past and an inner monologue behind those eyes you could never begin to imagine, but he said he wanted to let you in. So here you are…on his bed, cross-legged reading his poems and lyrics. Finally he closes his eyes and shakes his head. 

“Who it’s about…doesn’t matter much to me anymore. What matters is that I’ve left that part behind now. And that I’m here with you.” 

He locks eyes with you and caresses your cheek. You’ve learned to appreciate his vagueness, a stark contrast to your need to overshare. Before he pulled out his notebook, you had just finished telling him 5 years worth of trauma with tangents that made you both laugh and cry a little. You were embarrassed…but he held your hand the whole time…making contended hums when you’d remember something happy and then kissing your knuckles during the hard parts.

“Well,” you say putting the notebook on his nightstand, “it sounds like it was a difficult time.” You squeeze his hands in yours and take a deep breath. “I understand better why you…hesitate to open up. But…thank you for letting me in.” You lift his chin gently so he looks at you. The dim bedside lamp and filtered moonlight from the window cast long shadows on his features, but instead of tortured he looks ethereal. 

And in that moment…your breath catches. And so does his. Your thumb gently rubs his cheek until his lips part. Instinctively the pad of your thumb circles his pouty lips. It’s not overtly sexual. No. It’s reverent. At this point in your relationship you’ve only made out to the point of frenzy, grinding against each other and exchanging breathless sweet nothings between hot, soft kisses. 

“You’re safe with me, you know?” You whisper, you voice caught in your throat as your heart swells for the man before you.

His face finally betrays the emotion he’s been harboring. His breath shudders and he nods slowly…jaggedly, almost like he wants to balk at you. 

“Don’t take this wrong way, Ves, but…” you begin, but you’re distracted by his eyebrow cocking with some amusement. You chuckle softly and shake your head. “Just hear me out. Sometimes when we touch…you remind me of a stray…a rescue…who’s never felt a loving touch.”

“Am I that pathetic, little love?”

“Tsk. No. I just mean…”

“No, I understand. And…you’re right. To feel love…at least the love you give me…it chills me to the bone.” He gently tugs at your arm to pull you into his lap. You’ve never sat in his lap before and suddenly find yourself painfully aware of your weight. He sighs. “I want all of it.”

You relax just a bit more. Just a fraction.

“All. Of. It.” His spidery hands grasp your hips and presses your ass firmly onto his thighs. “If you are going to touch me…to pleasure me…to love me…I need it to the highest degree, darling. I crave everything you can give me.”

Of all the things that could be on your mind (like the heat forming in your center and rising into your belly, the way you’ve dreamt of being intimate with him, how delicious he looks right now, etc) what you’re focused on his word choice. What you “can” give. Not what you “will” give. He means to coax it all out of you. And you are beyond willing. But you know this is a big step so you broach your next words with tenderness.

“Ves, you set the pace, love. I don’t to overwhe—“ your lips are suddenly trapped against his. One hand holds the back of your head and begins to grasp at handfuls of your soft hair while the other gently guides your ass to grind in his lap. Eventually he pulls you away from the kiss by the nape of your neck.

“You’re so kind, little love, to want to protect me. But after tonight, I don’t want a fragment of dignity between us.”

With that he moves swiftly to pin you on your back. His lips find the crook of your neck…where your pulse and natural scent is the strongest. “So warm. So soft. Baby…” Wet, open mouthed kiss cover your neck and throat. You writhe underneath him, already surrendering to his need and affections. 

His kisses are rough and feverish. He’s been starved of this. There’s no denying it. His lithe waist presses you firmly into the bed…and for the first time you feel his bulge against you. You have done this to him. You have driven this man to near madness as he works quickly to remove your shirt. Gazing down at your naked torso for the first time, he lets his warm, skilled hands trail over your body with reverence. 

“Is this mine?” He asks, his eyes glued to your stiffening nipples as he gently cups your breasts. 

Your breath catches. “Body. Mind. Soul. Flesh. Blood. …it can all be yours, Ves.”

With that he presses his face into your breasts and peppers wet kisses and small nibbles along your soft mounds. You whine softly as his nose gently nuzzles one of your nipples.

“Please….” He whispers. “Please?”

You nod with wide eyes. He started so confident, so aggressive, but now he was begging for permission just to suckle from you. 

Pathetic moans fall from his pretty mouth as his kitten licks and soft kisses cover your nipples. “Love…my god…” His hand trails down under your shorts. “May I? Please?”

Your breath shudders with a sharp moan. He isn’t even touching your pussy yet, but it clinches as if he’s already bottomed out inside you. 

“Love…may I? Yes or no?”

You find your voice and push his hand to your throbbing clit… “yes.”

He lets out a deep, satisfied groan as his index and middle finger scissor your sensitive bud. You let out a slutty yelp as his firm fingers work to, basically, jack off your clit. 

“Fffffuck….oh my god…Ves…” you bite your lip and a shrill, pathetic moan cuts through the darkness of his bedroom. 

“Oooh…look at you, little love. Eager for my touch. Eager for my fingers,” he coos as he looks down at you with reverence and lust. “But what if…what if I…ahh…” he leaves you hanging momentarily and then presses his fingers firmly on your clit, massaging in big, slow circle. You hold onto his shoulders as your mouth clamps shut and your eyes cross from pleasure. You imagine you look like a dumb little slut but you wouldn’t know from how Vessel is looking at you. His eyes trail down you like you’re a work of art. Marble carved for him to touch. To taste. To behold. “Don’t you dare close that perfect mouth. Let me hear you.”

“Vessel…please. Please I need you.”

“Darling…am I not knuckle deep in you?” You look at him confused for a second but then he plunges his middle finger into your heat. The pad of his finger explores your wet, gummy insides and settles happily on your sweet spot. “Do I not have you already gushing on my hand?”

Oh how he teases you… You whine and a hot blush covers your cheeks as you realize you have to verbalize your fantasy. “I want your mouth.”

A dark look crosses his face. “Then we have something in common.”

He takes his finger from your cunt and brings it to his mouth. You watch, mouth agape and eyes glazed over, as he cleans your essence from his digit. You’re still watching him with a lovesick gaze as he stands up and removes his clothes. You’ve felt his abs through his clothes, but seeing them in the flesh is a revelation. You imagine kissing his stomach. Grinding your needy cunt along it. But it’s not until you see his cock for the first time that you feel a ravenous desire propelling you forward. You roll to the edge of the bed closest to him, looking up at him, asking for a treat. He chuckles and caresses your face, saying, “if I’ve been starved of loving touch…then you, my dear, are starved for cock.” 

You bite your lip and lean closer, hoping for a taste, before he holds your jaw, making your lips pucker. “Did I say I was ready for that,” he asks with dry condescension, “greedy fairy.”

You pout and roll ever to let him lay back on the bed. He makes himself comfortable, and you slip off your shorts and panties. He licks his lips as you strip—seeing your soft, squishy parts for the first time. “Fuck,” he whispers emphatically. 

He beckons you toward him, mimicking the same finger motion he did inside you moments ago. “Have a seat.” You prepare to swing your leg over his hips but he stops you. 

“Ah ah ah… how can I taste you if your cunt is down there?”

Loud and clear. You move slowly, your waist level with his face now; he nods and motions for you to turn. He wants your back to him. He wants your mouth taking his cock while he makes out with your perfect, squishy pussy. You settle with your thighs around his pretty face. You can hear him whispering praises and expletives as he kisses and nips at your thighs. “Ves…”

He stops suddenly, worried that he’s somehow upset you. “Yeah, love? Is everything ok?”

You chuckle softly at his concern and lean down on his body…your hand magnetized to his twitching, desperate cock. “Everything is perfect. I just…”  You want to finish your sentence but he’s already lapping at your folds. “Fuck…fuck oh my god…”

Your hand pumps his length as he lifts his head to bury his face in your pussy. He doesn’t even have to push your hips further into his face because they’re moving on their own. You find the strength to prop yourself up on your elbows to take his cock between your plush lips. He moans raggedly as his tongue fucks your tight hole, your slickness marking his face as yours. The feeling of his warm body against your curves and breasts encourages you to take his cock deeper into your mouth, the head gently grazing the back of your throat. 

For the first time in ages, your brain is empty. The only thing you know is giving Vessel pleasure and receiving it in turn. Your hips move to grind your clit harder on his tongue, a movement he not only loves but also encourages. The friction from his mouth is made infinitely more delicious as his moans reverberate against your cunt like a human vibrator. You disengage your mouth from his cock and let a long stream of spit fall onto its throbbing head. As you take it in your hand and fuck it the way you dream of riding him, you hear his moans turn into the prettiest whimpers and whines. You're encouraged by his noises…empowered. 

“That’s right sweet boy…you like getting stroked with a pussy on your face? Hmm? Is that good?”

You could swear he’s crying at this point. He has his arms wrapped your hips and his mouth stuck to your wet cunt. You laugh softly as imagine your lower half is a pillow and he’s screaming in it. “Oooh,” you coo “he's just so excited.”

Your teasing gets to him. He bucks into your hand and lets out a feral groan as he takes your clit in his mouth and sucks like his life depends on your orgasm showering his face. You let out a shriek in surprise and pleasure. “FUUUUCCKKKK. Aahhhhhhh yes….that’s a good boy. Fuck yes…make me cum…”

He whines back at you, hips bucking wildly, desperate to feel your warm mouth around his cock once more. You let another stream of spit glaze his cock before taking it whole and letting him fuck your throat as he sucks your tender clit. Just when you think you’ve gotten ahold of yourself, he lets a finger trace your entrance. The gentle tickle and pleasure pushes you over. You’re not surprised that something so small made you cum. You just knew he’d have that effect on you. 

You moan loudly around his cock as your pussy throbs and clenches out a powerful, toe curling orgasm. His own moans sound gravely and crackly. Just then, his hips buck, and you feel the hot stream of his cum fill your mouth. Oh to have his spunk in your mouth. Oh to taste his essence just as he tasted yours. You pull off and swallow thickly. Swinging your leg over, you lay your head on his stomach and look up at him.

“Love…little fairy…I am…so sorry for just…right in your mouth…”

You wipe the corner of your mouth, nary a mess to be found. “It was an honor.”

He chuckles softly and closes his eyes. “You’re both the death of me and my reason for living.”

His verbose description, even after cumming his heart out, makes you smile. You lean up and pepper sweet kisses on cheek.

“You know what I think?”

“Hmm?” He answers sleepily.

“We should see if any pizza places are still delivering…and curl up on the couch.”

He looks at you with hazy eyes. Finally…he feels at home. At peace. Safe.  

[3rachaslut]

one more

PAIRING; dom!seungmin x sub!femreader

GENRE; smut MINORS DNI!!

WARNINGS; dom & sub dynamics, use of colour system, hair pulling, choking, dirty talk, sir kink, crying, a cheeky lil slap, degradation (seungmin calls reader pathetic, slut, whore) praising, pet names (babygirl, doll, baby, good girl), overstim, oral fixation, unprotected sex (don’t be an idiot!), creampie

WORD COUNT; 1.7k

NOTE; 5 star seungmin has been making me feel some extremely unholy things! also, i’ve read over this about 8 times and there’s probably still some errors so sorryyy :)

You weren’t sure how long you’d been like this; naked, arms tied behind your back and on your knees in the centre of your bedroom. All you knew is that tonight, Seungmin certainly wasn’t going easy on you. He had already been edging you for the past half an hour. I mean, if you had to guess although you couldn’t be certain with how fuzzy your thoughts were right now, lost in subspace.

“Colour, baby?” Seungmin said as he continued to hold the vibrator firmly in place over your throbbing clit.

“Green! Green! But sir please, I wanna cu-“

“The more you beg y/n, the longer I’m gonna keep doing this doll..” Seungmin interrupted and his condescending tone made you moan out, both in frustration and arousal. Another wave of burning hot tears rolled down your face. You close your eyes at the sting they caused and you feel a presence getting closer and closer towards you. Seungmin whispered in your ear, “Why are you crying baby?” He feigned confusion. “Can’t handle it? I thought you wanted to be a good girl for me, no?”.

“Ye.. yes s-sir..! I do!” You panted as you tried your best to regain your senses, your face contorted from the overwhelming pleasure your pussy was forced to receive. Your head hung in shame as you felt your legs slowly giving in now, your body dropping slightly and your legs were trembling so much they started to give up on you. You felt a hand quickly wrap around your neck and you gasped from the sudden lack of oxygen. Seungmin tutted and instructed you to get back into your previous position by lifting you upwards by your neck, with some help from you adjusting your own legs. You moan out, half from pleasure, half from frustration at Seungmin forcing you to remain in the same position on your knees even though your lower body was collapsing from overstimulation. You drop your head again.

“Don’t give up on me princess, I know you can keep going” you heard him say. You couldn’t see his face but you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You sobbed, panting after he released the grip on your neck. Your vision was going blurry from the pleasure that was overwhelming you.

“Breathe” he said sternly, practically ordering you instead of reminding you. His hand found your messy hair and tugged hard, lifting your head to look at him, his face only inches away from you now.

“Breathe and tell me your colour baby”

“G-green sir” you uttered. Your eyes never left his, his gaze on you only adding to the arousal you were feeling in your aching cunt.

“Please sir…” you practically whispered, not having enough energy to actually beg.

“Please what baby? Use your words and tell me what you want” He said, his patronising tone making you whimper.

“Cu- cum.. want to cum.. sir” you mewled, tear stains marking your flushed face. He tugged hard on your hair so you were face to face with him.

“Oh baby why didn’t you tell sir you wanted to cum before? Now look how much of a pathetic mess you are” He tilted his head, observing you. Your eyebrows furrow at his tormenting words and your lips scrunch in annoyance. He HEARD you begging him to let you cum!

“Since you’ve been so good for me, I’ll let you cum babygirl. Go ahead doll” Only milliseconds after he gave you permission, you came hard on the vibrator, whining and moaning with your head thrown back in bliss and relief.

“Thereee you go… good girl” He said as you rode out your orgasm. “My good girl”

You let out a quiet pained scream as he continued to hold the vibrator against your sensitive clit.

“Ow- ss-sir!..” You cry out, your eyes scrunched at the overstimulation.

“What doll?” Seungmin asks with faux confusion plastered across his face. You open your eyes to look at him and he was staring back at you, a smirk forming at the corners of his mouth.

“Hurts!” You whine.

“If you’re gonna beg me to let you cum like a spoiled whore and I kindly let you, don’t be so fucking ungrateful!” he spat out, his raised voice making you flinch. You let out a strangled cry at his words. He swiftly smacked your left cheek, leaving a red handprint there. The sting making your already soaking cunt wetter. He gripped the lower half on your face with his free hand, the other still tormenting your clit. He slipped a finger into your mouth and tugged on your lip slightly, eliciting an exhausted moan from you.

“You look so beautiful when you cry for me baby.. I know you can give me one more doll” He grinned when you cried out as you realise this wouldn’t stop until you came once more.

You legs were shaking and you were a blubbering mess.

“Colour?”

“Green”

“Good girl.. such a good girl for me” Seungmin praises and you feel your pussy getting hotter again. “Give me one more and I’ll reward you baby” You drop your head towards the ground in exhaustion and he tugs at your jaw again, lifting your head up so you’re looking into his cold eyes again.

“I know you’re still with me baby so don’t disappoint me, I know my good girl can do it..”

You were gasping for breath due to the overstimulation and your clit was on fire. The burning sensation causing more tears to fall from your already glassy eyes.

“It h- hur- ts ss-s’muchh ssir” you whine, barely able to form a coherent sentence but seungmin seemed to understand and your complaints drew his face dangerously close to yours and you were staring into him, begging.

“I know baby… that’s why I’m doing it”. His eyes remained upon you as you let out a frustrated “Ahh!” of annoyance and pain.

Finally, the pain began to subside and you felt yourself closer to a second orgasm. Your legs started shaking vigorously and that’s when seungmin knew.

“Aww is baby girl gonna cum again and be good for me?” Unsure wether the question was supposed to be rhetorical or not, you didn’t answer anyway as your body and mind were spent. Instead, a second wave of pleasure came crashing over you and you were on the verge of screaming as you climaxed a second time. You didn’t have time to try and make your body calm down as you were roughly thrown towards and onto your bed. Your chest was heaving up and down as you tried to slow your heart rate but to no avail because in a second, seungmin was on top of you. He pulled you upwards towards his torso and wrapped his hand around your neck firmly, manoeuvring your head so you were looking right into his lust filled eyes. He chuckled.

“God, you really are a good slut for me aren’t you doll?” he said. He loosened his grip from your neck and two of his fingers found your mouth again. You suckled on them enthusiastically.

“Mhmmm” you replied. Your doe eyes plastering a smile on his face.

“Such a sweet girl..” he says, his adoring eyes never breaking eye contact. Suddenly, a flash of dominance overtook his face again and he narrowed his eyes. “…but I know how you really like it” His hand grabbed your hair right at the base and yanked hard, releasing a loud, lustful moan from you.

“Colour?”

“Green!”

He threw your body backwards onto the bed behind you and his lips found your neck. You threw your head back and whines of desperation were flying from your mouth uncontrollably. He bit down hard, sucking on your neck roughly, marking you. Right now, you were his properly and you knew damn well you was. You loved it.

“Keep moaning like that for me babygirl and I’ll reward you doll” Seungmin hummed in delight of hearing your pretty moans for him.

“‘sss ‘ir want.. you” you tried your best to string a sentence together but the overpowering lust was making it extremely difficult for you right now.

“Words baby. I cant hear you” He teased, still sucking your sensitive neck. He knew exactly what you meant and he wanted you just as much as you wanted him but he would never show it, not right now.

“P..please s-sir. Want you.. in me..” you uttered out the words as best you could, trying your best to catch your breathe in between.

“Oh baby…” he said in an eerie tone. He began kissing his way downwards. You’re sure your fuzzy thoughts took over your consciousness for a brief moment as you soon felt his tip rubbing along your extremely sensitive clit and only then did you realise your legs were over his shoulders. Suddenly, he quickly thrust into you all the way to the hilt and you let out a stupidly loud moan from how full you felt.

“Good. Fucking. Girl” he said, emphasising his words with rough thrusts into you, the motion causing your whole body to jolt upwards at each rut into you. He began fucking into you at such a merciless pace, you’re sure you saw stars.

“FUCK” you cried out at the incredible sensation.

“Such a horny slut aren’t you baby.. fuck.. taking sir’s cock so well.. shit”. You could tell he was close. Your walls were desperately clenching around him and sounds of skin slapping skin were filling the room, the noise only turning you both on all the more so. Your eyes rolled back in pure bliss.

“Look at me when I fuck you babygirl!” He said, his voice raised. “Wanna see those pretty eyes” You forced yourself to look back at him. He looked so hot on top of you, fucking you rough. You were definitely going to feel this tomorrow but you didn’t mind.

The way he was slamming into you, you felt like he was tearing you apart.

“Gonna be a good girl and take my cum baby?”

“Mhmm! Mhmm!” you sounded so pathetic and that’s exactly what caused a smirk to form on Seungmin’s now flushed face. He released into you, too quick for his liking but your pussy was just so wet after both orgasms. Your eyes rolled back as he continued to empty his seed inside you, bucking messily into your cunt. He pulled out of you, wincing at the slight overstimulation and he smiled down at you, his eyes full of adoration. Leaning towards you, he placed a light kiss on your forehead and sighed.

“My sweet girl y/n… I love you”

“I love you too Minnie”

[kabie-whump]

Magic Whump Week Day 5 - Drugs

tw: drug addiction + withdrawls, hallucinations, some (hallucinated) bug horror, child abuse mentions, past suicide attempt mention

This goes right after yesterday's post. Ventis has discovered that the drug he was taking is actually nightspill, which is both highly addictive and and known magic-killer. Now it's time for him to stop taking it, and it's not going well.

He didn't take his medicine this morning, since it had been stolen, and he's been experiencing some pains and minor hallucinations all day. It starts to get really bad in the middle of the night and the pain wakes him up.

There's also a character in this scene who hasn't been mentioned on my blog yet! Ophelia is a healing student at a local university, and she works in the inn at night to support herself. She's become a friend of the party.

~

Ventis stifled a groan, rolling to his side and curling into himself, clutching at his aching stomach. There was no way he would be able to sleep like this. All he could do was lay there, panting and praying that Onthyes stayed asleep next to him.

"Ventis?"

Shit.

He wanted to tell Onthyes that he was okay - that he could go back to sleep and he didn't have to worry, but all that escaped his mouth was a pathetic whimper.

"Ventis, hey. What's going on?"

"Hurts." Ventis's hands made tight fists in the sheets as he felt tears springing to his eyes.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. Try to keep breathing."

Ventis couldn't breathe. Every attempt at an inhale got caught in his throat and forced into rough gasps and coughs. His whole body was on fire. The tears finally fell.

"Onthyes..."

Onthyes's hands hovered over Ventis's body for a moment before he finally began to stroke his hair and wipe tears from his temples as they fell. "Shh. I'm here," he said softly.

Ventis groaned, twisting under the blankets. It was too hot under them. Too cold without them. The pain grew more urgent by the second. "It hurts!"

"I'm going to go get Ophelia."

No no no no. Every time Ventis managed to open his eyes against the waves of blinding pain all he could see were shadows reaching for him from the corners of the room and the ceiling above him swimming and dancing as glossy black beetles swarmed its surface. In all the chaos, the only thing he could be sure of was Onthyes sitting solid at his side, unaffected by the shadows and the bugs. He was the only thing keeping them from getting to Ventis, and if he left he would be at their mercy and he wasn't sure that he could survive that.

"No! Please don't go."

Onthyes's hand was warm on Ventis's cheek. "She could help you."

"Don't leave me. Please."

"Okay, okay. I'm not going anywhere."

That was all the assurance Ventis needed, so he allowed his body to lull him into a state of semi-consciousness where he knew at least the pain would be more bearable. Onthyes raised his voice, but the words got lost somewhere on the journey from Ventis's ears to his brain.

His skin crawled.

It must be the beetles again.

"-tis. Ventis! Stop it. You're hurting yourself."

Is that Shayah? Why isn't she helping me?

Rough hands grabbed Ventis's wrists and pinned them firmly to the bed, stopping any attempts to swat the bugs away. They continued to swarm, coating his skin, and he cried out.

"Shit, breezy. Quit zapping me. I'm trying to help."

"Ventis. Look at me."

He managed to force his eyes open. Immediately the shadows swarmed him and the room twisted, inverting itself in a way that made him feel sick.

Where's Onthyes? He's supposed to be shielding me.

"Onthyes!" Ventis choked out.

Hands landed on his face and he flinched hard, desperately pushing against whatever was holding him down.

"I'm here. I'm right here."

But I can't see him. Where is he? Where's Onthyes?

The crawling sensation turned to unbearable itching, then burning as the beetles found places to sink their pincers, and no amount of crying or begging convinced the hands to let go of him so he could get them off.

"Maybe we should just give him Nightspill."

"No! We can't-"

"He can't take this! Look at him, Onthyes. If this doesn't kill him it'll drive him mad!"

"You're weak."

Ventis knew that voice.

"Father?"

His father was there at the edge of the bed, and just for a second Ventis let himself hope that someone had finally come to save him from this hell. But Father's hands were the ones pinning him down and disdain morphed his face into something not quite human. The bugs crawled up the man's arms and he didn't seem to mind.

"No, Ventis. Your father isn't here. It's just me and Shy. You're safe."

"Listen, Onthyes. His magic's only getting stronger and he can't control it. I don't want to drug him against either but-"

"Ophelia can help him. We're waiting this out until she gets here."

"You're hurting your friends," Father mused. "After everything they've done for you, all you can do is make things difficult for them."

"I'm sorry!" Ventis sobbed. "I-I didn't mean to!"

"It's okay. We know. You're okay."

"I get why you'd wanted to jump off the roof all those years ago." Theodore appeared on Ventis's other side, his face partially obscured by shadow. "Look at yourself. Even when you manage to make a few friends you drive them away with all your melodrama. What do you have to offer them, huh? Your magic's out of control, you're cut off from the family fortune, and now you're going to die and leave them to deal with your mess. Pathetic."

Ventis shook his head, tears streaming down his face. It wasn't even true! He hadn't jumped and Theodore damn well knew that, the fucking liar.

"What's-"

"Help him, Ophelia!"

"I just can't believe you actually thought I'd ever accept you back home again," Father said with a dark laugh. The beetles crawled up his neck, slipping out from under his shirt collar. "You're an embarrassment to me, to the family."

"No, please! Help me, Father!"

"You were always beyond help," Syllyn said softly as she faded into Ventis's vision, lightly brushing her hand against his face. "You're just too much. We thought keeping you sedated would make you more bearable to be around, but it seems you were the problem no matter how hard we tried to make you behave. You had to be sent away for the good of the kingdom."

"I'm sorry," Ventis repeated, squeezing his eyes closed. His voice was cracked and raw. "Please. I'm sorry."

Then, warmth flooded his body. The burning sensation dissipated. The pain faded to a dull ache. When he opened his eyes the room was still and the bugs were gone and Father, Theodore, and Syllyn, were all nowhere in sight.

Ophelia lifted her hands from Ventis's chest, a residual glow fading from her palms. He questioned silently when she got there. Deep purple sat heavy under her eyes and sweat beaded her forehead. Shayah loosened her grip on Ventis's wrists, then, when he made no effort to move, let go entirely.

It wasn't real. None of that was real.

Ventis's next inhale hitched on a sob and he curled into himself, squishing his face into his pillow as he cried openly. Onthyes's hand ran up and down his back gently.

"It's okay, sparky," Shayah's voice soothed from next to him. "Whatever you were seeing... It wasn't real."

I fucking know that.

"Try to breathe, Ventis. Slowly."

That was Onthyes's voice. He hadn't left after all. Ventis tried to do as he'd said, too exhausted to question him, and little by little his sobs tapered off until he was only trembling silently on the bed, his face still hidden in the damp pillowcase.

"Can I see your arms?" Ophelia asked.

It took only a quick glance for Ventis to realize that his arms were striped with swelling red lines. Ophelia placed her hands over them and started muttering a healing prayer, and Ventis shivered as he remembered the sensation of thousands of beetles crawling over his skin. He must have scratched himself trying to get them off.

When Ophelia pulled her hands away the scratches were faded, nearly healed. "I numbed the pain for a while," she said gently, "but you're not cured. Withdrawals can't be healed with magic alone. It will take time, and it will get worse than that before it gets better. Try to rest while you can."

"Thank you," Ventis whispered, but he felt more dread than anything else. He couldn't imagine it getting worse than it already had. How would he survive this?

~

Ventis tags:

@scp-1296 @sapphicccici @acer-whumpstuff @morning-star-whump @yeetmyskeet

@sleepyiswhumping @bitchaknso @unicornbeck @wounds-seen-and-unseen @3-2-whump

@looptheloup @lindsay00000008 @rainydaywhump @scoundrelwithboba

[eris-snow]

HII I LOVE ALL UR FICS SO SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️ COULD U MAYBE WRITE A PART 2 TO THE AIZAWA AND HIS DAUGHTER FIC? IT WAS AMAZING ❤️ IF NOT THEN THANKS ANYWAYS ❤️❤️

Ask and you shall receive (Even if it is two months late)

The first part of it is here

----

“Y/n,” Monoma enunciated, smirk ready on his face as he walked up to your table. “Did you see the number of failures Class A got in comparison to ours? Pathetic, right?”

It is almost too easy to gossip about Class A. Whenever Monoma cackles to you about them, you engage him with snarky, poisonous words that part of you is ashamed of. You know they are good people. They’re all trying to be heroes, you are too, but their good-naturedness makes the words you spew more venomous as you try to get rid of the suffocating feeling squeezing your throat.

“They are,” You agree readily. “Can’t say I’m surprised, considering the ruckus they make every day. They try to get the limelight so badly, they don’t know how bad it looks on the surface.”

It feels good, you can’t lie, but part of you is also guilty for saying the things you did.

Your father means well, you know that. And it’s exactly because of it that it hurts.

Is it selfish? To want a father when every second he’s not there for you, he’s saving the world and touching the hearts of so many of his students who talk fondly of him?

You bite your lip, already regretting your fight with him the other day. There was no repairing this bridge now.

—

“Y/n?” Aizawa stops by your class when you’re on your way out. “Can I speak to you?”

Aizawa wants to kick himself in the gut.

He’s replayed your fight with him over a dozen times, sifting through his memories and alternate conversation lines he could have used to justify his defences.

Instead, he’s made more and more aware of how rarely he sees or actually talks with you after you’ve entered U.A. It’s jarring and frightening just how little he knows about your life.

He’s been a terrible father.

You cock an eyebrow at him, eyes empty and guarded. It’s defensive, he realises. As if you are expecting him to hurt you. Something inside Aizawa crumbled. Some hero he was.

“What do you want from me?” You mumble, frozen to the floor. His eyes are scary, they pin you there like nails to a board.

Your father’s eyes dilated a fraction, and it has you curling into yourself instinctively. Shit. You should have phrased it nicer, you should have kept your mouth shut or—

“Y/n, I’m not mad.” He reassures you, touching your hand. You don’t move an inch.

“Come on,” Aizawa pulls you along, and you wish you had the strength to pull away, but you pathetically allow him to drag you down the corridors to his Class’s dorm without resistance.

—

Silence engulfs the room when Aizawa closes the door to his room in Class A’s dorm.

He turns back to you, opens his mouth before watching you flinch back. He hates it. Hates that even without doing anything, you look like you’re on the verge of tears like a rabbit that’s trapped by his words. He never meant to do that to you.

“Are you hungry?” He asks instead, trying to cool the edge of his voice by the slightest bit. “You haven’t had lunch yet, so I can order something in if you want.”

You pause, careful and tense. “It’s fine. I can eat later.”

“Do you want to talk about school? What you did today?” He prompts, raising an eyebrow.

You have that look again. The look that shows that you do want to tell him something, but you’re holding yourself back. Your head shakes. “No.” You reply quietly.

“You can sit down here. I think I have—”

“What is wrong with you?” You snap, raising your voice and breaking the tense peace.

“Are you trying to make up for the past 5 years? Because I get it, okay? I get that you feel bad!”

“Y/n,” Aizawa tries to think through the fog of emotions, tries to find the right words to say but nothing comes to mind. “It’s not just that—”

“What else is there?” Your voice is hoarse, and he’s made you cry—again. He’s always making you cry. “I finally know my place, alright? I know that I’m not I’m not up there on your priority list, hell, I don’t even know if I’m on it. You know, for a time, I actually tried, really, really hard. I tried to initiate conversations and guise my feelings just to see you smile.” You sniffle, shaking your head.

Unlike the previous time, when your voice was a concoction of anger and pent-up word vomit, this time, you’re putting yourself down with a mixture of self-hate and sorrow. With words as sharp as knives, you belittle yourself. Aizawa hates that he’s the one who made you think of yourself like that.

“Stop trying to sugarcoat it! You don’t love me—!”

This time, Aizawa refuses to react to late. His body moves, and before you know it he has his arms wrapped around yours. You’re bigger now, around his shoulder level. He hasn’t hugged you in a long time.

“Of course I love you,” Aizawa whispered, pressing your head tight against his shoulder. His face is wet and, oh look, he’s crying too. “I haven’t shown it, I haven’t done a lot of things, but don’t ever think I don’t love you, Firefly.”

He can feel you stiffen against his body. He hasn’t called you that since your mother passed, and you didn't think you would ever hear him call you that ever again. The sobs that wrench themselves out of your lips are heartbreaking.

“I’m sorry,” He mutters, hugging you tighter. “I didn’t mean to neglect you in the way that I did, so please…” He says, voice wrecked with guilt. “Give me another chance.”

He wants to try. Try to make it up to you because he’s already missed most of your life by dwelling too much on someone who was already gone.

He needs to make it up to you. What kind of hero would he be if he couldn’t?

You crumble like a house of cards, sobs consuming your being a whole as he desperately holds you together with his two bare hands.

You don’t say anything to him, and he doesn’t anymore to you, but you cling onto him tight like you’re afraid he’s going to let go.

And he clutches you back, knowing that this is exactly what you need.

---

I know quite a few people have been requesting for this even though it was written quite a while back, so thank you for requesting for this! I hope you enjoyed this and have a beautiful day/afternoon/night ❤️

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

this happened a while ago but i still feel conflicted about it. (tw: mention of germophobia, mention of suicidal thoughts) and this might get very long, so sry about that.

am i (18, F) the asshole for not wanting to try on shoes?

i know that this must sound super weird, but basically i have a pretty extreme phobia of germs and my dad (60s, M) took me spontaneously to a shoe store to buy new shoes.

now i’m also autistic, so this spontaneous change of plans was already pretty stressful for me, but i tried to hide that and pretended to be okay with that.

the thing is that i had only one “clean” pair of shoes (like clean on the inside, not the outside obviously) and like those got dirty/muddy when i was on a walk with a friend and it rained really extremely. the evening after that, i spent like an hour trying to get those shoes clean again bc otherwise i don’t know if i could’ve forced myself to ever wear them again. i did everything i could and even sanitized them like 5 times (i know it’s excessive but it still didn’t feel like it was enough). i can make myself wear them again now but it takes a bit of (internal convincing everytime and like even if i only had them on for a few moments, i change my socks and shower afterwards everytime because i just can’t handle it otherwise.

and basically my dad doesn’t really understand my mental health because i’m not good at explaining it (when i talk about this irl i always end up in tears, no matter how hard i try to suppress that and then i end up feeling bad for crying and then i spiral), but he still noticed my discomfort with my current show situation. that’s why he wanted to buy me new shoes, and rationally speaking, i was very grateful and thought it was a good idea. but emotionally, i was very distraught from the change in routine and i knew that this store was very small and that it’s basically guaranteed that all of the shoes there have already been tried on by someone.

i know that’s technically normal and not a big deal, but it’s honestly really disgusting to me and i don’t want to try on shoes that anyone else has ever worn (and especially not if i don’t know who wore them or when or how clean those people’s feet were). i knew my dad wouldn’t understand that reasoning, so i tried to just say that i don’t like the shoe brands that store has or that i want a different type of shoe or that i don’t like the design etc etc.

and then we came across the exact type of shoe i was already wearing but in black (mine were like dark purple) and my dad was like “great, you like black and you already like the brand and that specific model!” and i obviously had no excuse anymore for why i didn’t like that one. so i just admitted my actual reasoning for saying no to that and all the others.

my dad ended up opening every shoe box and i was right that all of them (in my size) had already been tried on. i really wanted to just force myself to look past that and try one on anyway, but i just couldn’t make myself do it.

i was on the verge of a panic attack tbh (i get those a lot from this phobia), but i managed to kinda keep it in check. my dad and i ended up leaving the store but i could tell that he was really annoyed and so i apologized but that seemed to only annoy him even more.

the car ride home was at first pretty awkward, then it developed into an argument where i tried to explain my phobia but i think i only made it worse on accident bc of the emotions and then we were just kinda silent at each other for the rest, until he tried to make some small talk and i fucked up (because i can’t control the tone of my voice very well due to my autism and i was still emotionally messed up), so then he got a bit passive aggressive again.

when we arrived at home, i hid in the living room (no one really ever goes there currently) and had a bit of a meltdown. i was really spiraling- like suicidal thoughts and googling for a painless suicide method because i felt like such a pathetic disappointment and failure of a daughter and human being. eventually after like half an hour, my mom came looking for me and found me sitting there, sobbing in the corner. she asked what happened and bc i felt really ashamed i didn’t want to tell her, so i said i’d explain later.

i wasn’t really able to stop crying completely that whole rest of the day. like i got some moments where i was outwardly calm, but on the inside, i wasn’t able to really calm down at all until the next day. usually my mom is pretty understanding of my phobia but not of me crying, so i was very surprised when she completely took my side after she heard what happened from my dad’s perspective.

by the time, i had stopped “hiding” in the living room, my dad had already fully calmed down as if nothing happened, but i still felt (and still feel) really bad about it, because i know he only had good intentions and i messed it up completely. my mom told me that he had offered that i could just look up some shoes online and he’d order them for me instead of going to an in-person store for that again, but i’m not sure if that was really his idea bc it sounds more like something my mom would propose. i do like that idea, but because i’m not sure if it was actually his idea, i haven’t said anything to him about it. i just feel really bad that my parents didn’t get a normal daughter, because i feel like my mental illness makes everything harder than it has to be and they don’t deserve that, but i don’t know what to do (therapy is unfortunately not an option currently).

What are these acronyms?

[moonlightblueandicegrey]

Unforgettable past part 2

Here's part one:

!!!!Warnings!!!!

Mentions of emotional and physical abuse, self harm, sexual harassment, panic attacks, traumatic moments, self hate thoughts, thoughts of suicide, anger, bad language and curse words, smoking, heavy drinking... Tell me if i forgot anything.

I warned you. The responsibility is now yours.

Summary: Jay and Kai are best friends and they haven't realise that the are actually in love with each other. Jay had a really hard time in Nadakhan's ship and although it never happened after his last wish, for him it was real. It happened. He can't forget it or get through it. It affects his everyday life and everyone notices, especially Kai. So he asks Nya (Jay's girlfriend) but the best option is to actually talk with his friend.

• The unforgettable past can be considered a second chapter for this:

Although it's not mentioned but both of them are in my script so... Yeah.

It's been three whole months since Jay made his last wish. You think he got better? You think he forgot? You think it didn't affect him just because of that wish? You are wrong. You are so wrong... Jay remembers everything. Every. Single. Thing. And it slowly eats him, it slowly destroys for good whatever left from his soul, his heart, his honour, his sanity... If there's anything left from those... He isn't sure. He doesn't even know if he is alive anymore. What is this state? He feels nothing and everything. He has never been so confused before. No hope is left for him. That's what he repeats to himself every night when everyone falls asleep and he is crying his heart out. Alone.

"A little weak,

Jay is strong. He stronger than he looks. In some people's eyes he is an annoying boy. A small, fragile, dump boy, the weakest ninja of them all. The one who didn't actually deserved to be a ninja at all. The anxious one who was panicking even with the smallest things.

pathetic,

crybaby...

That's all you've got?! I expect more... You really disappoint me little canary..."

No matter how hard he tried to hide his feelings, to bottle up all his emotions, he failed. Like always, he failed once again. He was never good enough... He was just a failure... That little "adventure" made him become his own greatest enemy. But what else could he do? What was the point of believing in himself when no one believed in him? What was the point of living when he was only annoying, unwanted... A burden.

Even for his own parents who eventually left him. He was unwanted to them.

Even for his own family who raised him when it wasn't their responsibility to do it. He was a burden to them.

Even for his girlfriend who was spending all day alone in her room. Could he blame her though? No, he couldn't. It was all his fault.

Even for his own friends who were done with him and his strange behaviour those three months. He was annoying to them.

He felt guilty. He felt deeply hurt every single time someone was talking to him and he couldn't pay attention. Every time they told him to help clean the Bounty and he had to find excuses to avoid it. Every time they asked him "what's wrong?" and he simply said "I'm fine". "I'm fine"... Ha! From all the lies he said that was his favourite. "I'm fine". Bullshit! He wasn't. But Jay was proud. Too proud to admit it. Too proud to seek help. Too hopeless to try for something better. He even avoided Master Wu's questions and ignored his wise advice. He was a coward! A liar! He didn't even deserve comfort. He was a terrible person and a bad friend. He should be ashamed.

No matter how hard he tried to hide his pain, he failed. And eventually everyone noticed that Jay wasn't himself. They didn't know why though. Obviously. They didn't remember a thing. Only Nya remembered but she didn't knew exactly what he's been through. Oh, how bad he wanted his memory to be deleted too... But the universe didn't pity him. So he was left in that world to suffer alone until his death. A death no one would remember... Why would they? He wasn't someone important anyway.

But his heart was broken. When he and Kai decided to start smoking after Zane "died" to defeat Overlord, they made a deal. But Jay broke that deal and instead of a very small amount of cigarettes, he was smoking all day. Every day. He ignored everyone's warnings. They could clearly see him change... The master of lighting lost himself eh?

If they only knew...

............................................................................

Kai couldn't stand watching his best friend sinking deeper into that mud. He wanted to help him get to the right path again... But how could he help someone if he didn't even knew the problem? He was the first one to notice his sister's and friend's changes. He wanted to help both. With his sister it was easier. But with Jay? Kai desperately wanted to know what happened while Jay was captured in that ship. He knew Jay wouldn't open his mouth no matter what though. He could be stubborn af sometimes.

Nya actually talked to him. She told him all the things she knew and all the things she'd been through. Kai was worthy of her trust. He believed her of course. And he was shocked, sad... Angry. He should have remembered all this. He should be the one to suffer instead his loved ones... No! He managed to get rid of those thoughts. He had to support his sis and his buddy, that was his first priority. After giving all the comfort he could to Nya, he left her rest and finally get some sleep after many sleepless nights. Was it too late for him to find Jay? Nah... Jay was a night owl. He would probably be awake, especially those days. But was this the right time for that talk?

Was Kai himself ready to hear Jay's pov and deal with it?

............................................................................

It was late... Morning was coming soon. Every morning since Nadakhan was just "another day i sadly woke up instead of dying" according to Jay. Another day to suffer. Oh, how badly he wanted to just fall off of the Bounty's deck... Or take a dagger and... Just a few more pills... All these thoughts were crossing Jay's mind as he was sitting in Bounty's deck, smoking and staring at the night sky. Or the void, he didn't know. They looked the same to him now.

Kai quietly left Nya's room and slowly closed the door behind him. He decided to not bother Jay for now. Yet, he had a strong feeling that Jay needed him right now. It might was his worry for his friend but what if his instinct was right? Nah... He definitely just needed some fresh air himself. The last thing he expected to see in such a cold night was the lightning master standing alone in the deck, smoking again, and just staring... Somewhere far away from this world.

His instinct was indeed right. Now, it was the right time. He shouldn't wait anymore. Kai approached Jay. He was standing so close to him, yet Jay didn't even notice him until he spoke.

Kai: Jay? We need to talk.

Jay: Kai! Hey. What is it bud?

Kai: Come on, stop acting. It's been three months man. Three fucking months! And you didn't say a word! Why?

Jay: A word about what? I don't understand you.

Kai: ... I talked to Nya. She told me what happened.

Jay: You mean- What exactly do you know?

Kai: Definitely not enough. I want to hear your side of the story.

Jay: No.

Kai: Come on... I want to help you. I want-

Jay: You can't help me Kai. It's over now, isn't it? I made the last wish. None of it actually happened, I'll get over it.

Kai: You don't seem like getting over it. Jay, please. What happened while you were captured in Nadakhan's ship? I've never see you like this before... You changed... I barely recognise you anymore!

Jay: I am the same Jay you knew! Don't worry about me, I'm fine.

Kai: Stop lying! And stop this (takes Jay's cigarette and burns it to dust). We made a deal!

Jay: (Looks directly on Kai's eyes giving him a death stare) ...Go get some sleep and leave me alone.

Kai: Look, as much as i don't want to push you i must do it. I can't just stay back and watch you destroy yourself anymore!

Jay: Why do you even care?!

Kai: Wha- What type of question is this?! You are my best friend!

Jay: Then give me some space! End this conversation and get some sleep. Leave me alone already! (Turns his back to Kai)

Kai: What about stop running away from your problems just for once in your life and talk to me instead? Even if I can't help, i might make you feel better by listening to you. Give me a chance, damn it!

And that was it. After so much time, the man with the mask, finally... Broke. Jay started crying and he would have fall on his knees if Kai wasn't there to catch him. Jay tried to push him back, but he didn't want to hurt his friend, not that he had the strength to do it anyway. His attempt to push Kai was too weak and obviously that wasn't enough for the fire master to loose his tight grip. In the end, Jay hugged Kai back and buried his head on his chest. Kai, who usually hates physical touch, couldn't care less about it. His friend needed him.

Jay's legs were shaking, his heartbeat became faster and louder, he couldn't breathe. He wanted to scream but he held back or else he would have to explain everything to everyone. Kai kept him close, hugging him tightly and trying to comfort him and help him relax. None of them noticed how long they stayed like this. None of them cared. Eventually, Jay controlled his breath and he managed to speak. But when he started speaking... He started to say things Kai didn't expect to hear. Or he didn't want to expect them.

............................................................................

Part 3 will come soon i hope.

[flirtmcgirt]

Why I hate MMFD Series 3, Circa 2015.

Ok, like I said, i randomly found this in my phone. It is extra, it is wild, it all holds up lol. It’s embarrassing, but who cares? S3 was embarrassing. It’s VERY long. Laugh, cry, mock me, fight me, enjoy yourselves. I’ll never get over it.

1. The whole series has a bleak feeling almost immediately that doesn’t let up. I don’t just mean plot, I mean color palette and vibes. It has this washed out feeling I hate.

2. I don’t side with Rae on her interview. I don’t. She didn’t take it seriously.

3. Rae wants to go to uni because..? Rae chose Bristol because..? Rae has no backup schools because..?

4. Rae says she’s happy. Cool. Why? What’s been happening? How’s treatment been going? The most elementary rule of storytelling: show, don’t tell. I feel like we got told for 2 hours, with no fill-in of the gap.

5. The end of season 2 felt like the jumping off of the beginning of something: Chloe healing emotionally, the relationship with Rae and her mom, Rae and Finn, attempts at taking therapy seriously. We spend the next 2 hours digging into NONE of these things. I’m not dumb, I know time was limited. But we needed more exposition, flashbacks, more SOMETHING. Why should I believe things are going well, especially when they’re about to collapse.

6. Flashbacks (this blows my mind): Rae shows us what we think are flashbacks talking about her happiness. They’re not-they’re flash forwards. And all of them are after Rae starts being dishonest and backsliding. That has always upset me as a viewer. We NEVER see Rae progress in this series in retrospect.

7. Why are Rae and Finn hiding major life decisions from each other?

8. Chloe’s doing well! Cool! Again, how and why?

9. Look, I was young with a boyfriend once too. I get there’s limited time between school, work, and family, and you want to spend the time you have taking off each other’s clothes at that age. But there’s no emotional intimacy here and it spits in the face of earlier seasons.

10. “I love you.” Enough said. But fine. Let’s take it at face value. Why are they not expressing themselves ? Are they happy, are they unsure around each other, are they coasting on lust? We don’t know, bc bad storytelling.

11. We’re right back to “let’s only discuss my boyfriend in terms of his looks.” Bo-ring, no growth, and not to get too explicit, but you don’t have repeated, committed sex, and not get past some of this. Embarrassing things happen, funny things, you open up emotionally and get real with yourself and each other. You’re telling me these two never made weird noises or weird faces or sweated horrifically all over each other?

12. I’ve always seen Linda as someone who cares for Rae, worries, and is observant, but often doesn’t do the best thing because of her own issues. She is out to lunch most of the series and I hated it.

13. The car crash. I hate it for so many reasons. It sucked up the plot time we needed not to make the whole series feel disjointed. It was too dramatic for me. One of the things I always loved about MMFD was it felt like a relatable show that featured teens, not necessarily a teen show. This was a teen soap stunt.

14. Rae is ostensibly happy when she gets her acceptance. Why does she immediately discard the idea? Why no inner dialogue about her actual desires?

15. KESTER. We’ve said it all. Kester telling her what to do instead of working through her feelings? Irresponsible. Lying? Irresponsible. Not properly transitioning out of therapy? Irresponsible? The mental health messages were disgusting overall. Add another therapist COVERING and letting her dump her meds was even worse. Kester’s choices were all about covering his own ass, and he’s ultimately pathetic.

16. The Gang. Just so much why? Why are Izzy and Chop forced into being stupid? Why does no one give a shit about Finn? Why is everyone grappling with major life changes but only Chloe and Rae have to bear any drama. Why is Archie not in uni? Why does everyone clearly know Rae is suffering and doesn’t even try to help; more importantly they mock her? That last piece makes me legit angry.

17. I like Rae and Chloe’s friendship growth. That it came at the expense of Rae’s guilt, fear, and shame is just disappointing.

18. Finn looks..tired, even before the Katie business. He looks overwhelmed and unsure and scared, and like he’s spent two years biting his tongue. I don’t doubt for a second he loves her, but is it healthy? It didn’t look healthy, and again, why? You’re getting paid to TELL ME A STORY.

19. Rae never uses anything she learned in therapy all series.

20. No one but Rae gets a real storyline and that stinks.

21. Katie. Faye Marsay is better than this. Lost more plot time for a teenage Single White Female retread.

22. The cheating. Out of character, we never get clear resolution on what happened, and most importantly to me, it’s the main reason for a breakup that has so many other tells simmering in the background, imo. That Rae is condescending, doesn’t own up to her parts, is just. Yeah. Why should I believe this person is ok? PS-We know he bought her that “you’re the milk to my cookies” shirt, it only makes sense. Ma’am you did not act like it.

23. Katie’s entire voodoo speech burns me up because we never get confirmation Rae doesn’t internalize and/or reject this. I actually think a conversation about the ripple effect of mental health is so important, and deserved better than whatever the hell this was.

24. Rae’s whole A-level experience. She gets saved and coddled so she can go somewhere they won’t play that game with her. How does this help her or show she’s ready?

25. No chippy. Fine, whatever, but I miss it lol.

26. Everyone perving on Finn, come on, this was cringe.

27. The look Chloe gives Finn at the pub. I don’t understand it, but I don’t like it.

28. No Baby Bouchtat time, wtfffff.

29. Rae never comes to a realization we hear about why she wants uni. She gets her back against the wall because her mom has to leave and everything else is falling apart. Great.

30. Speaking of, why is Linda still at home 2(?) months after she said she wanted to leave, halfway through her husband’s contract? I thought it was so damn important.

31. Rae’s dad..more plot time wasted. I honestly barely remember this. PS-hey Rae, I bet Finn Nelson would’ve heavily related if you said your shitty dad popped back up and you were struggling.

32. It seems like Rae cuts everybody out after the ball. This is not real life. You lose touch, people fade away, sure. Over months and years, not by cutting bonds off at the knees.

33. Town only being the background to Archie’s plot was such a waste.

34. That tub scene was sickening and irresponsible as fuck. Every other mental health episode in other seasons had inner dialogue to help the audience. That they played it as straight and left the audience dangling that long was reprehensible.

35. Everyone on this show got to develop an outside life we knew about away from Rae except Finn and he deserved more.

36. The going it alone message is terrible. You always need support and love from people around you.

37. Petty, but that dress did Sharon no favors, please dress our queen properly.

38. The last song being Creep is so lyrically bleak and sums up this entire dumpster fire.

39. “The bullshit goes with me?” GOODBYE. Please.

40. The train scene: kind of nice! Reminiscing! Tix! But also weird. Why do Kester and Chloe look so serious? Why does Finn only look like he wants to fuck her? Why is Liam even there? Whatever.

Please add more lol. Or don’t, because this is out of control. I roast because I loved and knew what it was capable of once.

[pinkprimrose05]

3 choices. Arc V (Fandom) for 2 and 10. Yuri (Character) for 5, 6 and 7. Yuya (character)for 2 and 15. If you take on all 7 of these questions I will tie you upside down and play whale noises until you chill. Take care!

Put that rope away, yes, thank you- aaaand here we go!

2) my three favorite characters and why I love them so much:

I should preface this by thanking you for my most recent microcrisis, AKA the abrupt realization that somehow, somewhere along the line... the Theatre Kid Agenda™ has discreetly overtaken my top 3 list.

Speaking of the list:

1- You thought this would be Yuuya, but as it turns out... it's Yuuya! lol.

I'd go ahead and wax the usual poetry about the layers and symbols and all that jazz, but you've already seen me gush about that several times over, so I'll just focus on the babyboy factor for once instead. Yuuya may not have wet kitten energy even at his angstiest, but he sure is a sunshine bean of debatable genuity, and that's just as adoptable!

Looking at him alone is enough to make me want to offer comfort ok. I'm stuffing him in a blanket burrito and shipping him off to my place for a long, long break and some overdue therapy. We can cope with life together, cry a little, cry a lot, bake sweets to recuperate, melt into happy little puddles after a good treat, and then nerd out about theatrics and play a few duels to test silly strategies! This kid is my Son and he deserves all the best things in the world, so for every bit of pain he goes through I'm giving him a truckload of comfort.

______

2- You may have noticed this in ARC-V Month, you may have picked up on it through my sporadic, scattered mentions of the guy, but if not, then here's a fun fact: I have more than one ARC-V blorbo.

Introducing the central piece of a great many of my conflicted thoughts, confused feelings, paradoxical opinions, abrupt perception shifts, and eventual (semi-)begrudging affection that had me questioning my taste in pixels for like a whole year:

...Zarc.

I've known this fucker for 5 years, hated him for a solid 3, and then woke up one winter day in 2023 and realized that oh shit, he managed to land himself a spot in blorbo tier. Is this what people mean when they say a character grew on them? Were my feelings playing the most long-winded joke on my mind for 4 years? Trust me, I don't know. What I do know is that maining his deck was definitely an endearing factor, and so was the 3rd ARC-V watch (this is where I started uncovering most of the easter eggs I know about the show, so perhaps the build-up made me a touch biased over time, but I genuinely found the 136-139 marathon more entertaining than annoying for once. We speak not of 140).

TL;DR: I think the lettuce clown is neat. Past me would have a stroke if I told her I'm a Zarc apologist now tho.

______

3- Super Duper Ultra Hyper Extra Mega- ok I'll stop now.

Sawatari is actually the one surprise in this list to me because, huh, I didn't realize how much I liked him over other nearly as cool characters until I put them side by side and pondered who brings me more joy when on-screen. I thought 3rd place would be someone like Yuugo, maybe Serena, but it seems I've taken a spontaneous shine to the banana peel?

(Help how does this keep happening why am I weak to clowns lmao)

See, Shingo's character may be on the simpler side by virtue of being the... designated comic relief, but that simplicity is part of his charm! The mix of charismatic and pathetic aura is a also rare thing, you know- It's not easy to be so cool and cringe at the same time and make it feel natural. That takes skill.

And speaking of skill, Shingo has my respect for always putting up a good fight, even in the games he loses to all sorts of jobber bullshit. He's a genuinely good duelist and a great entertainer, and I love that for him!

______

10) how many fics I've read that are set in it (approximately and making exaggerated guesstimates):

Guesstimate: Around a thousand. I've been around the fandom long enough to read all sorts of fics on ff.net and Ao3 (among other sites), and it sure feels like I've seen a lot, looking back.

Actual number: Approximately 600, rounding down. On Ao3 alone. Huh, I was expecting the number to be like, 200, so this is not too far off, actually! Maybe the reason the fic count feels higher than it is because the memorable reads tend to be REALLY long multichapters. Why are these so common in the ARC-V tag, by the way? Is it the allure of crossovers? The canon divergence AUs?

(The answer is both, and a few other factors as well. Good for us, I say! Longfics are a serious test of commitment, and I'm glad to see and follow so many talented and dedicated authors!)

[youre-all-i-wanted]

Hi!! I have a favor to ask, for anyone who's interested, please read this and give me some feedback on this steddie fic. I'd love to hear your thoughts about what I have going so far. (I am aware that some things are inaccurate to canon and the time period but please try to ignore it for the sake of story telling haha) Any advice would be amazing. Thank you to anyone who reads this. Oh and I know I really need to work on characterization but that's just something I need more time to think about. If anyone has any ideas of any plot points or headcanons to add to this fic I'd absolutely love to hear suggestions!!! I'm really stuck right now so it would be highly appreciated. Please don't judge too much, this is my first time writing anything like this in 5 years. To be honest I'm kind of scared to post this but I'm going to take a leap of faith.

A steddie fanfic (name undetermined)::

CW/TW// alcoholism, drug use, mention of a razor (nothing relating to sh), unhealthy coping mechanisms in general

(I also briefly mention what happened when Eddie got attacked by demobats if that bothers you)

It had been months since they defeated Vecna. Things had been rough for all of them, the nightmares, the flashbacks, the paranoia. They were all on edge, hoping, praying, that everything was gone. That the upside down was closed off for good.

All of them had a difficult time adjusting back to normal life, but seemingly more than others, Steve was struggling hard. The insomnia was getting to him. It had been three days with barely any sleep and he was starting to get nervous.

Fear struck him deep and his blood ran cold when he could've sworn he saw something out by the pool last night, but like any other time, there was nothing there but the wind whistling through the trees.

It was driving him crazy, any time he jumped too hard at a flicker of a light or a creak in the floorboards. Overall, beyond the fear, beyond the dread, was guilt. He felt like he wasn't allowed to feel like this. The empty cavern in his chest and the pit in his stomach always made sure to remind him.

Sure he had been battling these monsters from another realm for years now but that had become his new normal. He couldn't compare his pathetic panic attacks to Eddie almost dying there. Bleeding out, laid across Dustin's lap. Eddie was hardly breathing, the way he looked at Steve, with glossy eyes. He looked terrified.

Eddie didn't really want to die, and it was a miracle he didn't. They had gotten back just in time to haul him through the portal and speed him to the hospital. Steve couldn't imagine the pain and the fear he must've felt.

In fact, he couldn't stop thinking about it. For whatever reason, it stuck out to him. Most of Steve's nightmares consisted of him, Nancy, and Robin not getting back in time to save Eddie, or watching his eyes roll back just for him to start floating. Steve hadn't told anyone.

Whenever Robin would ask him about his nightmares he'd just.. shut down. He couldn't talk about it, hell he could hardly stand thinking about it with how it made his chest tighten and his breathing pick up. He felt awful that he couldn't say anything to Robin. The Robin who had always told him about what she was going through, what her nightmares were like, what had thrown her into a panic.

Every single time, she was willing to share so that Steve would feel less alone, and yet, every single time it came up, Steve felt like a stubborn child for not being able to talk about it.

Why couldn't he just spit it out? It was so frustrating to want to talk about these things, to feel the need to talk about them and then have the words get caught by the lump in his throat. He was so tired of fighting the tears back. It felt so humiliating to cry in front of anyone, even Robin, no matter how many times he'd done it in the past.

He needed to drown it out. He'd tried so much so far, but nothing soothed the burning ache like drinking. He hadn't told anyone. Too ashamed to admit he was running away from everything when everyone else dealt with the aftermath in healthy ways.. or at least he thought everyone else.

•••••••••••

Eddie hadn't gone a night without smoking since he ran out of pain meds from the hospital. Everything was too much all at once and he couldn't cope without being out of his own head. Being sober was like a nightmare, time ticking by torturously slow.

He just needed to get out of his head, his body felt too tense, restless. His limbs didn't feel like his own no matter how much he moved around, it was a fruitless effort.

He grew sick of it quickly and started rumaging through his stash. He'd had a good amount of weed when he'd started but through deals and personal consumption, he was running low and with Reefer Rick out of town for the next week, his access to more was temporarily cut.

He only had enough for one more deal, just for enough money to help Wayne with the bills. Since he knew he couldn't smoke anything, he got to thinking. Suddenly, it hit him. He shot up from the couch in the trailer he shared with his uncle, running for his room.

Wayne always worked night shifts so he knew he wouldn't get caught. Heart rate picking up and head spinning he dug around looking for something he'd sworn he saw the other day.

Just as he thought, tucked away in the back of his closet, on a shelf covered by Dungeons and Dragons character pieces, was a small black tin. Bingo. He cracked it open slowly, not knowing whether he had misremembered, but there they sat.

Just a few bars of Xanax. Relief washed over him from his head down to his feet in a misty wave. His eyes settled on the white tablets, he could finally relax. He quickly decided he needed sleep, so instead of just swallowing it down he'd crush it up and inhale it. He took a razor from the bathroom and crushed a bar on his nightstand.

Around fifteen minutes is all it took to kick in, but a long fucking fifteen minutes it was. Finally, the world went quiet. He started to feel sluggish, like dead weight. Slowly crawling into bed and collapsing, is all he remembers.

••••••••••

Rays of light peeked through the gap in the curtains, flooding the room with a dull glow. Steve cracked open his eyes and winced, even the small amount of light feeling like a jab to his brain. This is the worst headache he's had in the past few weeks.

He knew he had responsibilities though so he begrudgingly rolled onto his side, opening his eyes just enough to glance over at his alarm clock, it read 9:24 am. Not bad for having work at 10:30. He groaned dragging his legs off the side of bed, his foot immediately catching on something. He looked down. Right.. an emptied bottle of vodka sat next to the bed frame.

He knew he was going to have to tell Robin eventually. The worried looks she'd given him every morning when they opened was enough to wear him down day after day, the guilt was practically eating him. Working at Family Video was already tiring enough, he didn't need Robin nagging at him to tell her what's been going on too.

••••••••••

Steve pulled into the driveway at Robin's, a little late since he had got caught up making sure his hair looked right. He could at least try to look presentable, as much as he could with the dark circles under his eyes.

"Hey dingus, what took you so long?" Robin said, jumping in the passenger side of Steve's car, settling in quickly. She then noticed how quiet Steve had been. "Are you okay? Another nightmare? You can talk to me you know."

She looked at him expectantly. His stomach dropped but he waved his hand dismissively. "Just thinking I guess." Robin didn't buy it but decided not to push. "If you're sure.." The drive there was filled with silence.

Steve wasn't sure how to bring up his issue without making it sound like a big deal.

So he just.. didn't.

It was a slow day for the first few hours, a couple customers here and there but not nearly a steady flow, typical for a Wednesday. Steve stood staring into the empty parking lot from behind the counter when Robin suddenly appeared next to him.

"Hey, are you sure you're alright?" Steve tinged at the concern laced in her voice. The last thing he wanted was to see her upset. Afterall she would always be his platonic soulmate, "platonic with a capital P", he'd hate to be the source of her sadness.

"Yeah, all good, I just get lost in my head sometimes, you know?" Robin slowly nodded, "Yeah, I get it, trust me it happens more than you'd think. Do you wanna talk about what's going on in your head or,"

She examined his facial expression closely, it looked.. pained? Almost guilty? Fuck, that's not good. She felt her heart clench in sympathy. Sensing she had overstepped, she quickly backpedaled. "you know what? Why don't you just rewind these and I'll get back to stocking the shelves?" Steve took a stack of tapes from her hands, humming a response while avoiding her eyes.

[samkiszkasfacialhair]

Hi, I just read your Sun Still Shines fic, and I want to THANK YOU. I feel SO SO LUCKY that I stumbled upon this fic.

The past few days have been really difficult for me, and the sh’tty situation has been going on for quite a while, often times I’m just walking back home and think I can just d1e now. I am away from my family, I haven’t been able to see them for almost 5 years, I struggled with ED and recently my body image is particularly bothering me, and school work is when sh’t hits the fan… sorry, TMI.

So you know… as the pathetic freak that I am, I tried to find comforting fics to read to dodge reality (even though I’ve got so many deadlines ahead) and upon reading your fic, especially the line “can you just love me”, I immediately tear up. I feel like, I haven’t been abled to be loved for so long and there’s no way for anybody to do that….but your fic somehow manages to ease the pain to some extent, every words feels so tender and soft, and I feel like being engulfed in a safe hug, and not to mention it really radiates Josh energy… like it seems like such a healthy relationship, they love and heal each other…it’s like the nicest ten minutes I’ve ever had for the past few days, thank you.

Sorry this is long and negative and obnoxious, but I just want to tell you that your writing have healing energy and you should be proud of it

I am speechless.

I don't even know where to start.

I got this ask a few weeks ago, opened it, read it, and started crying (which is big for me because I don't cry often). I couldn't even answer it because it was so hard to find the right words and I wanted to think about exactly the right thing to say because this person deserves it.

First, I'm sorry to hear life has been rough for you lately. I agree, when life gets busy, deep feelings of sadness can make everything feel overwhelming and like there's no solution or no end in sight. You're not a pathetic freak though (especially considering EYE am the one writing fantasies about Josh Kiszka lol). Everyone goes through this whether they post about it or speak it out loud or not, myself included. You're not the only one and you're not alone, even though it can definitely seem like it at times.

Second, I hope that as time has gone on since you originally sent this in, that life has eased up a little and been brighter for you. If it hasn't yet, it is bound to soon and I'm here if you need anything or anyone! (I'll answer quicker next time I promise lol).

Third, thank you so much for the compliments on the fic. I think your ask was the best one I've ever gotten and no one will be able to top it. Sometimes I feel like the thought and work I put into my fics is pointless because they aren't well known or "hits" in the fandom. Smut is always going to do well but since a large part of my stuff isn't smut, I feel underappreciated and overlooked constantly. But just reading your ask made me feel so good about myself and my work. Your ask made me think that it is worth it to keep writing despite the number of notes or despite if people talk about the fic or not. It is really amazing to know that something I created can have such a positive impact on someone and help them. I think a lot of us in this fandom feel comfort from Josh whether we know him or not and I'm just glad I could bring that comfort out in form of a fic. It's nice to know that I could bring that comfort to someone and it's really all because of Josh and how he is.

So again, thank you thank you thank you. I would love to hear how things have been going in your life since you originally sent this in if you want to share. Sending you lots of love. MWAH!

-E ♥

[the-angry-potato]

Who would have thought I'd be back to Tumblr after so many years? It really has been a while, this place fed my Undertale craze for a long time and, to a much lesser degree than Facebook, helped me bond with Camila.

It's weird, feels like I am back to being a teenager. I'm into weird little hobbies, I use Pinterest, hopped back on Tumblr, I am actually doing sport and going to a fucking therapist. I wouldn't say I am getting a fresh start, there is no such thing, I fucked up beyond repair and honestly, I wish I could take it all back, I wish I had removed Camila from everywhere so I wouldn't have hurt Cano, i don't know when the fuck i put her in cf for that account but hey, i already fucked up once, can't do it again I guess.

I wish I could be a part of their lives, I truly am no one without the people I love and this month has been the absolute fucking worst. I don't hate my job but god, I just wish for some rest, I want a single weekend where I can relax, I just want to cry to my pillow and be hugged.

Oddly, Camila has been appearing in my dreams even more often now, at this point I see her more often than when we were together; pathetic, ain't it? The whole dog she found thing was weird, Madrezu uploaded that story without tagging and somehow I already knew it was from Camila (probably the purple leash, that is Isa's) and my whole being was just shook, I couldn't really concentrate. I guess seeing things about her knowing she hates me is more than I can handle, I guess everything has been more than I can handle recently.

Thankfully, Camila was wrong, there was no need to worry about Flor, loneliness will make a dumbass like me see things where there are none, either way I am happy I cleared things up and my therapist agrees. I didn't really have a crush, I just wanted a close bond like that which I had with Camila and in a way I sort of do. We aren't a couple, never will, I feel like it wouldn't have worked out anyway but we are great friends and I am glad I have her in my life. Sad I couldn't have her as my friend and Camila as my girlfriend but hey, I wanted to keep the relationship going, she didn't, it wouldn't have worked out unfortunately. Maybe if my venting had remained private like it was meant to be I could have had a chance in the future, unfortunately I don't think there is one now.

I am quick to anger and my emotions are fucking erratic, that much I always knew. I hated Dani at one point, imagine that, me hating my best friend but I realized I was a dumbass and my anger made no sense. In the Cano case, I guess??? I had my reasons, Lolo agreed as much in the fact that he did lie to me for some reason about who was in CF but can't complain about the past, facts of the matter are I was angry (as I tend to be) and I directed my anger towards the one dude who I could always trust Camila's well being to, I truly was an idiot.

While I can't promise to never have feelings like that again, I can still keep my promise to never act on those dumb ass feelings. I know they are stupid, that's why they are my thoughts, they stay in my head, I don't channel them anywhere but to my echo chambers. I still remember getting irrationally angry when Camila would kiss the backside of my hand, I don't know why that happened, it was the sweetest thing ever because it was the person I loved and love the most giving me affection but something deep inside me was just like "THIS PISSES ME OFF" I never understood why but I know that if I could have her give little smooches to the backside of my hand again I would let her. There is nothing in the world I wish more than to see her be happy, I don't care if that happiness isn't with me, I just wish I could be present to it because she was and always will be the brightest star in the sky for me, what a pretty moon.

I hope I am not a bad person, I hope the Marcos Camila claimed to know for the better part of 5 years really is the real me and not some weird persona I built.

If you ever read this, te amo salame. Parafraseandote un poco, fuiste, sos y siempre vas a ser lo que quiero y deseo en una relacion. Una compañera de vida, alguien con quien ninguna experiencia es aburrida, alguien con quien envejecer, alguien con quien dormir y amanecer juntos, alguien con quien podia ser yo mismo, alguien con quien reir, alguien con quien llorar, alguien con quien compartir un momento en silencio, alguien con quien mostrar lo mas vulnerable de mi y que lo acepte, todo eso y mas fuiste y sos para mi

[teenwolffan-with-nolife]

Jealousy

Word Count: 2,832

Characters: Derek Hale, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Noah Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Reader (gender neutral)

Pairings: Derek Hale x Platonic!Reader; Scott McCall x Platonic!Reader, Stiles Stlinski x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: angst, death, very small fluff at the end

A/N: okay either I forgot how to write, or my brain just hyped up this for no reason at all :/

A/N 2: it’s like riding a bike... writing will come back, right?

Masterlist

“We need to figure out a plan where we can all be safe. This isn’t gonna work if you can’t focus,” Scott was getting slightly, frustrated, sitting next to you while he put his hands in his head.

“Oh, come on, you have to admit this is a little funny,” you were holding back your laughter, seeing a look of anger on Derek’s face, and a look of annoyment on everyone else’s.

“How is this funny, (Y/N)?!” Stiles exclaimed.

“It’s hysterical because some dumbass bozo decided that a group of teenagers is the biggest threat in Beacon Hills!” you let out a small snicker, seeing Derek roll his eyes.

Stiles turned Lydia’s laptop screen to you, showing your name.

(Y/N) (Y/L/N) 35 

No one on the entire Deadpool was nearly as much as you, your alpha was 15 million less than you. 

“That’s even funnier! Scott, my powers are a joke compared to yours! Besides, if we’re so high up, do you really think any idiot would actually come after us? We’re powerful, we’re a werewolf pack with a true alpha, a banshee, a kitsune, a were-coyote, and a witch! I can’t even control my powers, we’re all dangerous,” you scoffed, leaning back into the chair.

You saw Derek huff as he stood up, pushing off the couch with force before walking to you, holding your wrist tightly.

You could feel slight pain, ignoring it.

“Did I do something to upset your royal highness?” you gasped dramatically, feeling his grip on your wrist tighten.

You saw Scott stand up, tense, from the side of your eye while your head hit the wall behind you.

“Oh, are you about to kiss me?” you asked, a small smirk on your face.

“You’re not fucking indestructible. We are all in danger, you were all trapped in the school and almost died, you think this is the time to dick around? That this is the time for jokes?! We’re all in danger, these hunters are ruthless,” you saw his eyes glow blue, feeling your throat tighten before you ignored it.

It’s okay

“Every single threat we’ve ever faced, we’ve gotten over. We are good at this, hunters are shitty. Why not add a little humor while we’re at it?” you replied.

“Satomi’s pack is dead! You still think we can get over this?! They’ve been alive for decades!” he yelled.

“Derek, stop-” Scott started.

“They never learn. They never listen. We are in danger, (Y/N). When we find your body, when your name is crossed out on that fucking list, maybe then you’ll learn your lesson. Maybe you could stop being so fucking cocky and arrogant. When you’re dead,” you felt your heart drop, trying to keep calm before you pulled away from Derek.

“Just because your life is fucked doesn’t mean you have to take it out on everyone else,” you saw Derek clench his fist, while Scott quickly pulled you away, just in time as Derek’s fist collided with the wall behind you,

“That’s enough, both of you. We’re not going to find (Y/N)’s body like that, we’re all going to get through this, we just need a plan. (Y/N), we need to be serious,” Scott started.

“Serious as Sirius Black?” you said.

Derek glared at you before Stiles groaned audibly.

“You know what? Maybe it’s time to take a break and go home. We’ll talk about this in the morning,” Lydia said.

Stiles nodded his head in agreement, while Derek’s tense figure softened slightly.

“I agree with Lydia. It’s time for all of us to go home,” you gave a smile and wave to the pack before making your way to the door.

Scott pulled you aside before you entered your car.

“Hey, Scotty,” you smiled.

“(Y/N), look. I know this world is terrible, I know how you think up there. But you need to tone it down. We just need you to be serious for five minutes. Meet me in the middle here, what if one of us isn’t here next time Derek decides he wants to punch your face?” you could hear a worried tone in Scott’s voice.

“Well, we just pray that I’m never alone with the sourwolf,” you sat in your car while Scott sighed.

“Fine. I get what you’re saying. I’ll tone it down,” he nodded his head, thanking you before making his way to his motorcycle.

---

You yawned softly, turning on the lights as you dropped your bag to the floor.

“Hey, I’m home,” you called out to your siblings, getting silence as a response.

“Don’t pretend to be asleep. Get your asses down here!” you said.

You walked to the kitchen, seeing the dishes left all over the place, including some broken glass left on the floor.

You began to feel nervousness in your chest before you made your way up the stairs.

“Hey, Olivia, Liam? Is anyone here?” you opened their room doors, your heart stopping. They weren't there, they were nowhere in sight.

Both of your siblings knew and listened to your rules no matter what, it was a side effect of paranoia after your parents died. You made all the rules, they listened no matter what.

You felt your throat tighten, dialing your sister’s number, then your brother’s. They both went to voicemail.

You ran down the stairs, running your fingers through your hair as a small whimper escaped your lips. Your vision blurred as tears flooded your eyes. You wiped them away, taking shaky breaths before calling Scott.

The call went to voicemail, but he sent a text back.

You gathered your belongings once again, running out of your house.

---

Your breathing was shaky, you ran out of your car as you rushed up the stairs, about to enter the loft before you heard Derek yelling at Scott.

“They're going to die, I don’t know why we’re pretending (Y/N)'s not going to. They’re arrogant, they're cocky, they can’t stay serious for longer than two minutes-” you put your hand over your mouth to hold back your cries.

“(Y/N) has a different way of coping, that’s all this is. Their parents died, they have to take care of their siblings, they try to take care of all of us. I say let them be,” Scott replied.

“No. I want them out of the pack, all they are is a burden at this point.”

You’re wasting time, (Y/N)

You couldn't bring yourself to open the door, to ask Scott for help. Not right now, at least.

You found yourself running out of the loft, instantly freezing as you were met with the barrel of a gun.

Your eyes widened, putting your hands up as you froze.

“Get in the car,” his voice sounded calm, while your eyes glowed purple.

“If you try anything on me, you can say goodbye to both of your siblings,” you felt a shiver up your bones as you clenched your jaw.

“Olivia and Liam, was it? Oh, you should've heard them crying for you, it was pathetic,” he scoffed.

“They’re children-” 

“And they’ll have a chance to live if you come with me right now,” you felt a tear slip down your face, nodding softly.

You walked in front of him, keeping your hands up as your heart began to race in your chest, sitting in the van before the man handcuffed your wrists.

---

Your bruises covered the majority of your body, you sat alone at the Sheriff’s Station. Your hands were shaking, you tried to keep your focus off the events from the past two weeks.

You instantly remembered the events from last year, sitting in this exact position, at this exact place. 

“No, I-I didn't see them come in,” your throat tightened, you looked down while Sheriff Stilinski stood in front of you.

“So how did you know something happened?” he asked softly.

“I was… I was doing my homework, I heard this pound bang. I-I thought my siblings were playing but then-” your voice wavered as you stopped yourself, holding back your tears.

“I heard crying, and now…” 

You closed your eyes at the memory, letting out a shaky breath.

“(Y/N), we need to know what happened,” Noah asked softly.

He leaned down in front of you, your entire body remained tense.

“I can’t talk about this right now,” your voice broke.

You could see the surprised look on Stilinski’s face, you weren't much of a person to be serious, as the pack was familiar with.

You were the jokester, the class clown. The dead weight. You soon found out that if you focused on the humor in every situation, your mind would be too preoccupied to think about the pain. But there wasn't any humor in this, only your stupidity.

If you listened to Scott, your siblings would be alive. If you were serious for 5 minutes, you could have helped the pack come up with a plan.

But now you sat alone at the Beacon Hills Department.

“Stiles is almost here. How do you feel about staying with us for a while?” he asked softly.

Sheriff Stilinski always treated you like his kid, always taking care of you. He knew that you would feel bad, returning to your house all alone.

You nodded softly, while he nodded, giving you a small smile.

“Is there anything important that I need to know?” Stilinski asked softly.

You could see your hands shaking, while you clenched your jaw.

“I don't know what they did… I-I don't have my powers anymore,” you tried to keep your voice strong before his face fell, wrapping his arms around you.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I promise you that we’ll find them and make them pay.”

“(Y/N)?” you saw Stiles walk into the station, Scott following close behind.

The two of them ran to you, wrapping their arms around you tightly. You held back your cries, burying your face in Stiles’ neck before taking a deep breath.

“Hey, let’s go?” Scott asked softly.

You nodded, while Scott held your hand, beginning to take your pain.

“It’s fine,” you pulled away from him.

He paused for a second, before nodding softly.

Stiles gave a look to Scott before the three of you walked out of the station.

---

“Do you have any ideas?” you looked up at Scott talking to you, seeing the rest of the pack giving you a look.

“There isn’t anything we can do. We just need to be able to defend ourselves,” you explained quietly.

“Lydia, have you figured out how to shut down the…”

Your mind drifted from the conversation, you remained quiet and curled up on the couch. Stiles sat next to you. The entire pack kept their eyes on you, you know they pitied you. Even Derek remained silent about your actions, the two of you haven't fought all week.

“So then one of us can stay here and defend you-” Stiles started.

“I don't need anyone to defend me-” the two of them began to argue briefly before Scott sighed, stopping them.

“(Y/N), can you stay here with Derek?” Scott asked softly.

No, I hate him, he hates me 

You found yourself nodding before you cleared your throat to speak.

“Yeah, that’s fine. We’ll see you tomorrow,” Stiles pressed a small kiss to your forehead before he and Scott left.

You turned to face Derek, seeing a tensed look on his face.

“I can show you to the extra room,” he said softly while you nodded.

---

You kept to yourself mainly, keeping your focus on your work. Derek would even forget that you were there. He would occasionally try to talk to you, you were surprised to hear him cracking a joke.

You had grown slightly annoyed, you knew he felt guilty. There was never a time he didn't make you feel bad about being happy or making jokes. 

You held a gun in your hand, something that you weren't used to yet. With Derek losing his power, he was unable to defend himself, you had yet to tell the pack about you losing your powers.

You sighed, resting your head on your hand.

“Hey,” you clenched your jaw, hearing Derek’s voice as he approached you.

“This is kinda funny, you know. You having to protect me like this,” you tried to keep your focus off Derek, feeling your throat tighten in anger slightly.

“Hey,” you sighed deeply, looking up at Derek.

“I’m really sorry-”

“Shut up,” you clenched your jaw. Derek had a slight look of surprise on his face.

“I’m sorry, I-”

“Stop,” you shook your head.

“(Y/N)-” 

“We were never friends. Why are you trying to be nice all of a sudden?” you stood up in front of him.

“I just want to see you happy again,” he said softly.

“Are you fucking joking?” you scoffed.

He stayed quiet, giving you a soft look while you crossed your arms.

“You’ve always made me feel bad about having a smile on my face, for trying to be happy. Isn’t this what you fucking wanted?!” you raised your voice, while he clenched his jaw.

“This isn’t what I wanted to happen-”

“No! They murdered both of my siblings in front of me, they took my powers. What the fuck did you think was going to happen?” you shouted at him, feeling your heart race.

“Your powers? (Y/N)...”

“Yeah, you’d rather you just found my body, right?! When my name is crossed off on that fucking list, so then maybe I can learn my lesson, right?!” you yelled.

“That’s not what I meant, (Y/N)-”

“Why? Because you’d rather kill me yourself?! You could’ve done it the other day, when you tried to punch me, if Scott hadn’t stopped you,” your eyes watered as your voice wavered slightly.

“(Y/N)-”

“I heard you telling Scott about how you wanted me out of the pack! How I’m a big fucking burden! So, please stop pitying me and just leave me the fuck alone!” you yelled.

“I know how you feel, (Y/N). My family’s dead too, (Y/N),” he said softly.

“You wanna compare?! Did someone murder your parents? While you were in the fucking house, too dumb to realize until it was too late?! Have you been taking care of your younger siblings for a year, a-and because you can’t do anything right, they get kidnapped and you watch them die. I can hear their voices, Derek. They were screaming, they cried for me to save them and I couldn’t do anything. Don’t pretend you know what I’m going through, what this feels like because you don’t. None of you understand,” more tears fell from your eyes as you continued to yell at Derek before you ran your fingers through your hair, letting out a shaky breath.

You let out a small cry, putting your hand over your mouth to stop yourself.

Derek wrapped his arms around you tightly, taking you by surprise.

But you didn’t care. You were in too much pain to care. You were too tired to care.

He stroked your cheek softly, holding you tightly as he rested his head on top of yours.

“You’re right, I don’t know how you feel. I never will. That doesn’t mean that I’ll let you go through this alone,” your chest was aching as you scrunched your eyes tightly, a small cry escaping your lips.

“Out of all of us, I’m the closest to understand how you feel, how to lose your entire family, and feeling like it’s all your fault. But, it’s not, (Y/N),” you buried your face in his neck as he continued to caress your back, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“And I’m sorry that I was such a dick. I never hated you, I could never hate you. I was just jealous,” he said softly.

You looked up at him while he stroked your cheeks, wiping away your tears.

“If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise I’ll never screw it up, and I promise that I’ll never hurt you,” you nodded as he pressed his lips to your forehead once again.

“It’s getting late, we should probably go to sleep soon,” he said softly.

“I can’t fall asleep,” you sighed.

“Then I’ll help you,” he nodded.

He walked you to his bed, laying down next to you before wrapping his arms around you once again.

“You’re safe, I promise,” you nodded softly, closing your eyes.

He continued to hold you, listening to your heart rate and breathing before making sure you were asleep. He sat up on his elbow, looking down to face you. Your face was covered in dry tears and snot, he could see your pain while he sighed softly.

“You’re safe now,” he muttered softly.

He turned off the lights, before laying back on the bed, falling asleep next to you.

[dienamights]

A Reverberate Lullaby | K.Bakugou

✎ The echoing howls stalk you, a ghost hunched on your shoulders, wailing like a child calling for rescue, who cries with no tears. Chanting for a hero that is willing to pick up the pieces of its soul and being, yet it is only left to wither. For the ghost has lost faith that such others exist and can only be cured by finding them, for you are the ghost of your world and love is the only true exorcist.

✎ Protagonists: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader.

✎ Word count: 4.1K

✎ Category: hurt/comfort, Implied Mature Content MDNI, Prohero!au, Established relationship!au

✎ Caution(!): Implied Mature Content MDNI, mention of depressive state, toxic family, toxic coping mechanism, mention of reader’s weight gain and thoughts about self worth. Please keep in mind while every person’s reaction to depression is different, don’t belittle anyone’s battle when you don’t understand it.

✎ Author’s notes: Hello! Hope everyone’s taking care! Still on hiatus BUT I’m here to post my contribution to the Mental Health Awareness collab by @doinmybesthere​ ! This has been in the works for a while because I kept scarping ideas for triggering me lmao. This piece is very personal to me and I’m glad I am able to share my experience with you all, I hope that it might help anyone out there in reaching out and asking for help because I know how difficult and scary it might be! Please check out everyone’s contribution that they worked so hard for! kisses kisses take care!

OOH ALSO! Thank you so much for 900 followers aaaaaah! You’re all so amazing and if anyone has suggestions for an event to hold in June lemme know! I’ll also think of some ideas

» Masterlist | Requests | Taglist

The morning sun barely rises and peaks through your blinds, sunshine starting to kiss at your cheeks as you squint at the light, the room welcoming the warmth that is being brought into it after the evening’s chill that made you curl tighter in on yourself, clasping whatever heat you could muster than to turn around and find it in the heating pad of a body that lays next to you. 

An alarm only just rings before quickly being shut off, followed by the creaking of the bed when the person behind you shifts, shifts again, another time, before getting up and stalking to the bathroom, after letting an elongated sigh when they sit at the edge of the bed, not acknowledging your presence accompanying theirs. The door clicking closed before the trickling of water fills the quiet room.

Your clock reads 5 am when you squint at it, and you blink at the time before you go on with your routine, setting up breakfast while your boyfriend gets ready to go to work. 

Oddly enough, you don’t really quite remember when you started working on the food, all that you could see in front of you is nothing but a scene that looks like it’s out of a broken TV - there’s just so much static. The voices are distorted, as if they’re coming from a defective radio.

“Listen, this ain’t about me, this is about you and how you-”

“What about me? Huh? That you see me as nothing but a burden? No, you can say it-”

“You wanna hear me fuckin’ say it then fine! This is about you sitting on yer ass all day obsessing over her while she wouldn’ give you the time of day y/n. When will you fuckin’ realize that?”

The scene blurs and sways, and you feel your mind run at a speed you didn’t know it could muster, and you’re unable to keep up with it. The knife in your hand shakes vigorously and barely misses your fingers when you bring it down to cut the vegetables.

The sound of the bedroom door shutting closed alerts you, straightening your back when you hear the drop of your boyfriend’s gauntlet by his chair at the dining table. Katsuki approaches you with careful steps, his still ungloved hand circles your waist before pressing his lips to your temple, a gruff greeting of a whisper laced in between.

“G’morning.”

The familiar scent of caramel mixed in with his aftershave welcomes you, wraps around you and cradles you, promising everlasting safety and happiness. Yet, your heart wrenching sobs and muffled crash of your laptop against your floor that rings in your ears tell a different story, shrieking at you, roaring about your failures, mocking your entire existence.

“Made gohan, should be ready in a minute.” you mumble back, posture stiff at the close proximity of Katsuki and you feel the curl of his lips in displeasure pressing into your temple from both not reciprocating his greeting and your choice of meal for the morning. “You don’ eat gohan,” 

“s’why I’m making it.” The quick retreat from your figure is like a slap to your face, and you barely stop yourself from reaching out and forcing his arms back around you. Because it's the bite in his voice that halts your movement. 

“You’re still going?” you finally turn to take a look at him, the garnets in his eyes shifting, bleeding from hurt, betrayal, confusion, you really weren’t sure. And by God you had no energy left to try and figure out. “Yes I’m still going Katsuki, they’re my-”

“Yer really listenin’ to the bullshit spillin’ outta ya? This isn’t about em being your family y/n, we’ve been through with it already.” the space between you two feels like endless miles, pieces of the broken bridge you both worked so hard to build the only evidence of it ever being there, the rest crumbling into the valley in between your bodies.

“No, you’ve been through with it, I just wanna make things right, m-maybe I can fix it”

“It ain’t yours to fix y/n, when will you realize that?”

“No!” there you go again, sobbing pathetically. “W-why can’t I have a family, huh? Why- why can’t I, fuck, have a family that just loves and supports me a-and just doesn’t- ” your voice croaks, not failing to notice how Katsuki stepped away from the wreck in front of him. Probably having had enough of you, had enough of how troubling and bothersome you are, probably wondering how he got roped with all your shit and got dragged into your mess of a life.

His hands feel like scolding fire when they’re placed on your shoulders, halting their shaking as you cry into the palm of your hand to muffle the sobs, a habit Katsuki has been working so hard on to help you overcome, saddened to see you try and hide your vulnerability from him.

“Because they never made an effort, so why should you?” The tugging at your heart burns, the swallowed sobs feel like needles prickling at your lungs, making breathing feel like an impossible chore. You can’t help but feel restrained whenever you’re presented with the truth, especially unfiltered and unsugarcoated like right now, you know he’s right, you’ve known he was right a long time ago, but admitting it out loud just felt borderline impossible. 

So you do what you do best, push him away, all the strength you can muster barely budges his figure, the meal forgotten on the counter as you run and lock the bedroom door on yourself.

Your footsteps feel heavy, dreading the topics and scenes you’re bound to relive. The grip on the strap of your shoulder bag tightening as you push the glass door open. A sigh escapes past your lips again as you enter the restaurant, half-heartedly smiling at the hostess before making your way inside to look for them.

It’s always the same scenery, the kind that always makes you want to run away to the other direction instead of being dragged down into whatever hell this is. And you pause to question yourself, again, why you actually agreed to put yourself out there.

There they are, seated in the four person table, with two empty seats, one for yourself and the other for the sibling your mother always hoped to have instead of you.

Your mother’s pursed lip could be seen from where you stand at the entrance, the clicking of her tapping foot sounding as bad as grinding metals in your ear, you hate it, despise it

It’s the same clicking you learned to memorize, to anticipate, to fear, when she passed by your room, the clicking that made you smother your face in your pillows and swallow your sobs, because the sound of you crying brought her more distress and annoyance than concern for her daughter.

With another tug at the hem of the shirt you’re wearing, you approach the table, hugging your father when he stands up and nodding to your mom when she eyes your figure.

“Good morning mother. It’s good to see you.”

“What’s wrong with your hair?”

Here we go, you breathe out before tugging at a strand of hair, spitting out your words “nothing’s wrong with it.”

“Then why does it look awful like that?”

There are times like these where you are left to question your reasoning for accepting whatever invitation you received from your parents to have brunch with them after all those months, a moment of weakness deceiving you into believing it was better than to spend it in your empty apartment, with the silence that ate away at your sanity every second. The only evidence of life in it other than yours was the recently cleaned dishes and the note thanking you for the meal, the promise of cuddles and movies tonight making you gain just a little more patience, barely.

You refrain from answering, your response is to lower your head, drag the dining chair before plopping on it, a dreary sigh escaping your lips as you scoot your chair closer to the table. Your mother never changes, it’s been a while since you were able to move out of her home, and while your father tries to tell you that these brunches are a way to reconnect with them, you yourself know that it’s merely a chance for your mother to nitpick at everything you ever did or are doing since you left.

“How have you been y/n.” your father smiles at you, both of you ignoring the sound of your mother kissing her teeth when her attempted jab at you is ignored. “Uh, I uh I’ve been good, I just wrapped up with my exams and so far things have been-” 

“How is your hero boyfriend?” 

For a second, you contemplate whether to ignore her question and keep conversing with your dad, dreading the questions that are to be pushed your way regarding Katsuki, of which will be used as bragging material for when she meets whatever group of friends she associates herself with, but you know better than to ignore her with the way she gets when she isn’t fed with attention. 

“He’s uh, good.”

“Why isn’t he here today? What, too good to meet us?” your mother nags, and for the love of God, would that fucking clicking ever stop?

“No, he’s doing his job of, you know, being a hero.”

“Is he now? Well, what about you, hm?” She cocks her head as her nails tap the table. ”Did you think your father and I wouldn’t figure out you got fired?”

“How-” the gritting of your teeth is deafening at this point, your jaw clenching so tightly as you and your mother stare each other down. “Your dad pulled some strings, it isn’t that hard. So tell me, you like leeching off of him after you were done with us?”

“This isn’t, I just- I was- I, I had a lot of university work piling up a-and I couldn’t make time for my shifts and I just, it was just so hard for me to get out of bed these days and I.” why are you doing this? Why are you explaining yourself to people that don’t deserve it? Why are you feeding off of their acceptance, knowing damn well you never got it, and that thing was never gonna change. 

“Oh, I don’t wanna hear about you not getting out of bed, you’re here now aren’t you? This is all in your head y/n. You need to stop talking nonsense, what’re people gonna say about you, about me, when they hear you?” 

It feels just like yesterday, your figure standing and facing your full length mirror, your reflection eyeing you with identical vacant eyes. Fingers running through your bed head, a wince escaping you at the movement. Bringing your hand up and catching a glimpse of a slight swollen purple bruise along your wrist and the dried blood on your knuckles, the skin stretching upon rotating your wrist and causing notable pain.

Alas, that pain paled in comparison to when your mom barged into your room, blaming you for the way you were acting and belittling your reasoning. Beckoning your father over to replace your broken vanity and for your house maid to disinfect the space, the place sparkling clean and void of any evidence of what had transpired the day prior. 

The shattered glass was picked up and thrown out, the splatters of blood were wiped clean, and whenever you brought up, what your mom refers to as ‘the temper tantrum’, you’re ignored by both your parents as they continued about their day, fearing the shame it would bring upon their name if the event was to catch others’ attention. 

“Good morning! I’ll be your server for the day. What can I get you?” the foreign voice sounds more comforting than your own mother’s, and you almost laugh at the irony of it, but you only return her smile and take a look at the menu. Lighting up a smidge at the name of one of the dishes, while your parents place their order.

“Can I please get the soufflé pancake?” you look up to catch the horrified look on your mother’s face, followed by her clicking her tongue and shaking her head as if your choice of food was shameful. 

“Certainly-”

“Uh, no she won’t be having that. Get her the Honzen Ryori,” your mother eyed your figure -whatever was visible to her from across the table- before turning to face the server again “maybe cut down on the rice, God knows she doesn’t need the extra calories.” and waves her off, disregarding your protests and tapping her nail against the table top, her annoying method in demanding your silence, which you subconsciously react to, snapping your mouth shut when the sound reaches your ears.

“What was that for? You know I like having sweet breakfasts,” was fuming even close to what you are feeling? Probably not. “Yes I can clearly see that, you’ve let yourself go as well. Do you think that boyfriend of yours will stick around when you start putting on even more weight?”

At a loss for words, you turn to your father, who has been quiet this whole time, for any sense of support when it comes to his wife. But the way he presses his lips together tells you all you need to know, how just because he isn’t bad as her, doesn’t make him that great of a parent. That standing by while you have been bullied your entire childhood and well into your adulthood is just as bad as being the cause of it. 

“God forbid he realizes how much of a train wreck you really are and throws you on the side of the street, because you know damn well we won’t be here to pick you up.”

It began as a whispering in the air. The day had been beautiful -well, as beautiful as it can be with the kind of day you’re having- and the sky was like a dome of plasma-blue. The clouds had looked like airy anvils drifting under the gleaming disc of sun. People quickened their pace as the clouds began to gather in the sky. The postcard-perfect sky started changing. The beautiful cocktail-blue shade merged in with the flaming orange and mesmerizing purple as the sun sunk deep into the horizon, before beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Large pillows of cloud start to form, blocking out the old-gold color of the sun.

The first splatter of rain hits you when you’re halfway across the street, dismissing the need to take shelter under the roof of the buildings like some passersby are doing, hoping to see out the shower. Droplets of moisture begin to drip onto your head, sprinkling onto you like a gardener’s hose. It was well after your meal with your parents, and you had spent the last few hours walking aimlessly through the streets, making sure to avoid those covered by your boyfriend during his patrol. Hoping, praying, that something will clear your head, will help your poor jumbled mess of a mind forget about this entire nightmare of a day.

Should’ve listened to him 

The rainfall intensifies, the drops drumming against the hood of the cars that you pass by, there is so much rain that the sound blurs into one long, whirring noise, reminding you of the blades of the fan that you stuck your finger in, that one time when you were left alone in your house when you were only five years of age. Eventually, they fade into a musical chime as you push your drenched hair away from your face and feel the vibration from your phone as it rings the ninth, maybe tenth time. 

He told me so. 

Tall apartment complex building; you couldn’t see its end from where you stand. You shiver as you approach it, the doorman - bless his heart - running and placing his umbrella to futilely shield you from the rain, and you just laugh and tell him that you’re already drenched and just waiting to go back home.

God forbid he realizes how much of train wreck I am

Not wanting to dampen the people at the elevator and make them uncomfortable, you take the stairs up to your shared apartment, you usually don't mind the exercise but with how heavy you feel after the rain and day spent up on your sore feet, all you think about is locking yourself in your room and discover what kind of new façade could you try and fool Katsuki with when he reaches home.

Just how I trick him into thinking I’m not with him to leech off of him

Eventually and with a struggle, you make it to the door, dreading the sight you might come to face, almost hoping for a black hole to emerge and swallow you whole.

What would people say about me? Do people think I’m crazy?

With a forced exhale out of your lungs, you fetch the key from your bag to unlock the door, but it’s wrenched open before you have a chance to insert your key.

“Where the hell have you been?” 

Your eyes meet the beautiful rubies of Katsuki, and despite his anger that always overcompensates his worry, you smile and throw yourself on him. The shivering ceasing when he wraps his warm arms around you and that loving caramel scent engulfs you, in spite of how your hair is drenching his shirt and how you sniff against his neck.

“You need a shower, you’re shivering.”

“Take one with me?” you look up at him through your lashes, and he blinks at your uncharacterized boldness but agrees nonetheless, helping you out of your clothes and turning on the hot water before stepping in with you.

It is a struggle to help you clean up when all you do is grab at him, whether they’re your hands on his shoulders to lower him to kiss you, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your breasts against him, or palming his hardening cock as the poor man tries to shampoo your hair.

“Would ya knock it off? I’m tryna help you here shitty woman” you frown and squint your eyes when the shampoo gets close to them. “I wanna have sex.” 

“Yea I can fuckin tell, just lemme-” you bring his arms down and press his palms to your boobs, letting go of his wrist when he starts squeezing at them. “Do you not want to?” he gulps, his dick twitching at the feeling of your soft mounds in his hands, your nipples covered up by the suds from the shampoo, as your finger traces the underside of his cock. “Yeah, I uh, fuck, I do, just- you need to wash up so you don’t get sick, alright?”

“Do you not think I’m pretty anymore?” you pout childishly, tears threatening to escape your eyes, and they burn as you close them when he washes the product out of your hair, a deep frown on his lips when you open your eyes back again. “The fuck you on about? That rain really fucked with ya?”

“Are you gonna get rid of me when you realize how much of a mess I am?” you whisper, your voice muffled under the sound of the shower above you, and you keep quiet as he helps you scrub your body, but your boyfriend is observant, he isn’t fucking dense.

“What do you want, right now?” he lowers himself to your level when he’s done, his hands stroking your cheeks as he eyes the way the water droplets cling to your lashes, but still not missing the red rimming around your eyes.

“I just wanna for- I uh, I wanna have sex.” you mumble, a plea hidden underneath your words, a plea to help you forget, to help you bury this day behind you and pretend it never happened.

What you don’t expect is the way that Katsuki pulls your naked wet body out of the bathroom and drops you on the bed, feeling your bodies dampening the bed as he hovers over you, no words are spoken between you as he kisses and nips at your skin. Marking it up and down as he all but worships your body, strands of his hair tangle between your fingers when you run your hands through it, arching your back at the feeling of his tongue tasting your slick.

He doesn’t let up until you cry out, and not in pleasure, your sobs far beyond those he loves to hear when he’s denying you an orgasm. No, they’re sobs that wreck your whole body, kicking away at his shoulders as you curl in on yourself and wail into the sheets. Sitting on his haunches on the floor, Katsuki’s eye soften at your figure, the way your shoulders are shaking and how -yet again- you’re trying to muffle your cries with the sheets this time, pressing your face against the mattress in an attempt to lower your noise, as your mother would call it.

“Hey, look at me” you feel his lips grazing your ear as he kisses it, pressing his lips against your temple, fingers unwrapping your fist against the sheet and digging into your hands and pressing kisses against the nail marks in the palm of your hands. “There she is, there’s my girl.” you hear when you lift your head from the bed, sight blurry from your shed tears but still easy to distinguish Katsuki even between billions of people.

You sniff when he kisses at your lids, groan when he chuckles and calls you ‘snot the naught’ when you wipe your nose with the back of your hand, beaming when he hears you let out one weak chuckle at the way he teases you. Still pressing his lips against any surface of skin he can reach.

“You don’t have to talk about it you know, to me at least” he mumbles to you when you’re both dressed in your sleepwear and are cuddling on the dry side of the bed, opting to change the sheet the next day. “Maybe, maybe we can get someone who can help you, you know.” you press your face deeper between his neck and shoulder, shuddering when his warm palms rub your back from under your shirt. 

“I can make some calls, get in contact with someone.” you lift your head. “But I can’t afford-” he tuts and frowns at you “None of that.” 

“Remember what I said when we agreed to move in?” you do, you just love the sound of his voice when he says it, feels like he’s making all these promises all over again. “Tell me.”

“Told ya I’d be whoever you want me to be, whoever you need me to be. I’ll be yer mom, even better than that bitch, I’ll support and love you unconditionally.” you sniff and tighten your hold against him as he presses his lips against your cheek. 

“I’d be better than yer pussy dad, you can rely on me any time and I’ll live up to all your expectations. And callin me daddy is always a plus” he tangles his legs with your own when you wiggle away from him, laughing and giving you no chance of escape, not that you are even thinking of it. 

“I’d even be yer genius fuckin nanny that taught you to tell yer mom to go fuck herself when you were four,” your suppressed giggles lights him up and he can’t help but chuckle as well. “I’ll be anything and everything you’ll ever need, baby. I’ll be your goddamn hero.”

The sun comes out again, casting slanted beams of light across the buildings. Steam rises slowly from the greenery. It rises up eerily and drifts mist-like towards the molten-gold sun, right before it escapes into the abyss. The image is so vivid that it stays with you for as long as you remember. Because on this exact day, the shrieking that follows you everywhere you go, haunting you and mocking you, suddenly is nowhere to be found. And all you can hear is the comforting sound of Katsuki as he hums you a lullaby to sleep.

aaaah I hope you like it!

[tennessoui]

Ummmmmm can i please request 5

This was written all on my phone waiting for my train and I’m trying to post it through my phone which tumblr is being a lil bitch about but here is

5. Falling Pregnant After A One Night Stand (3.6k)

(squick: a/b/o dynamics, mpreg)(two tags I never thought I’d write lmao)

Anakin’s working on the couch when he hears the key in the lock of the apartment door, signaling that finally—finally—Obi-Wan’s home from his week-long hastily planned stay at Bail’s place.

Bail and Breha’s place, Anakin reminds himself. Obi-Wan’s mated friends pose no competition to Anakin’s inner alpha, which definitely thinks of Obi-Wan as his omega.

Obi-Wan comes into the main room quietly, putting his bag on one of the barstools and leaning against the counter for a second, head bowed.

When he lets out a sigh and a heavy curse, Anakin can’t stop himself from speaking up, alarmed. “Are you alright? Did something happen?”

Obi-Wan jolts and turns around to face the couch, clearly startled. “Anakin!” he yelps, one hand flying to his stomach and the other to grip the counter behind him, as if Anakin is an intruder, and not the man he’s been living with for six years. “I thought you’d be at work!”

Anakin fights the urge to flush. The truth is, he’s tried to go into work for the past three days, but Obi-Wan’s absense has kicked his alpha hindbrain into a special kind of panic mode, where he can’t stand to leave the den until the omega returns to it safely.

It’s not like Anakin’s going to say that though, not after five years of pining for the older omega from afar. He’s a pro at this by now.

“Working from home today,” Anakin says. And then so Obi-Wan doesn’t think he’s spent his entire week alone on the couch waiting to be not alone anymore (he has), he lies, “Woke up hungover.”

“On a Thursday?” Obi-Wan says, sounding a bit concerned.

Anakin purses his lips and tries not to pout. He rakes his eyes over the omega, taking in his messed up hair and untrimmed beard and the dark circles that have popped up beneath his eyes. “You didn’t answer, Obi-Wan,” he accuses. “What’s wrong?”

The omega’s scent tinges with distress, which only proves Anakin’s point further. Obi-Wan never lets his scent leak through his blockers, not if he can help it. Anakin’s always made sure to luxuriate in his unbridled scent when he can, one that smells like maple and rain and cinnamon. But to smell it now just makes him feel more worried.

“Are you going into—“ Anakin stutters over the word heat. Obi-Wan’s at least feeling well enough to roll his eyes fondly. The older omega thinks Anakin’s one of those alphas that get wildly uncomfortable talking about an omega’s heat. It’s not true. Anakin’s helped friends through heats both platonically and sexually. Look, he’s run to the corner bodega at two in the morning to get Padmé heating pads to be left outside her door. He’s no stranger to heats.

But the idea of his prim and proper roommate writhing around in his nest, begging for something to fill him up the way he needs—that makes Anakin stutter and blush and trip over his words.

“No,” Obi-Wan says, but there’s something off in his tone, something sour in his scent. Anakin puts his laptop aside—the screen’s gone dark already anyway—and makes to stand, his inner alpha baying with the need to run his hands over the omega, to make sure he’s not bleeding or hurt or injured—

“I—I’m going to unpack and take a shower,” Obi-Wan decides, pushing away from the counter and closer to the couch. Not close enough. But closer. “And then I need to talk to you about something.”

“Are you…” Anakin casts around for the right word to say. Ill. Leaving me. Sick. Sick of me. Done with all of this. Dying.

Obi-Wan pauses and gives him his own sort of once-over. Whatever he finds in either his body language or his scent brings a soft smile to the omega’s face. “I’m fine, dear one. I—I need a shower. I don’t—smell right.”

Anakin blinks after him, hands balling into fists and relaxing as he processes those words. Usually it’s Anakin who wants Obi-Wan to shower off the stench of other alphas after his business trips or stays at his friends’ places. Obi-Wan’s always insisted he smells fine, but he’ll cave if Anakin’s mood gets bad enough.

It’s not something he’s especially proud of, but it’s worth it when Obi-Wan curls up onto the couch beside Anakin and he smells only like the shampoo and soap they share.

Sometimes if he’s tired enough, he’ll even let Anakin scent mark him so that next time he goes out, everyone will automatically assume he’s already in possession of an alpha and not looking for anything.

Sometimes, he even asks for it. Those times are the best.

Anakin tries to sit still while he waits for Obi-Wan to come back, but it’s impossible. He moves to the table, then to the kitchen counter, then back to the couch. Where should he sit, where would be a place he feels safe enough to receive whatever news Obi-Wan’s putting off telling him?

In the omega’s arms in his own bed, is the answer that comes to mind. But can he really ask that of Obi-Wan? They’ve done it before, when Anakin’s mother had died, when Ahsoka had left the city to get a degree abroad, when Anakin feels as though he’s going to shake apart if he doesn’t hold onto his omega and make sure that he at least can’t leave him too.

When Obi-Wan comes out of his room, all flushed from the shower with his hair still damp and messy, wearing a blue sweater Anakin’s pretty sure used to be his and a pair of sweatpants that are definitely currently his, there’s hardly a choice to make. If Obi-Wan wants to wear his scent, Anakin will give it to him.

Silently he takes his hand and leads him to his bedroom, toeing out of his shoes and tugging him into his bed and into his arms.

Obi-Wan goes so easily that it only makes Anakin more worried. His heart cannot take this level of stress and he has to hide his face in the crook of Obi-Wan’s neck and inhales greedily at the pure scent of omega—Obi-Wan omega—his omega.

“Obi-Wan,” he says nonsensically, just to feel the way the omega in his arms shudders at the sensation of his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of his neck.

But then Obi-Wan doesn’t stop shaking and Anakin can feel a growing wetness against his shirt. He can’t stop the distressed rumble that comes out of his throat, but he bites his tongue just in time to stop the alpha command to tell him. Obi-Wan wouldn’t like that and Anakin wouldn’t like doing it.

His hands stroke soothingly over the omega’s back as he starts purring from within his chest. An alpha’s purr is supposed to reassure an omega, make them feel safe and protected, but Obi-Wan doesn’t seem to realize this because he doesn’t stop crying.

“Talk to me,” Anakin murmurs nosing at the short hairs behind Obi-Wan’s ears. “Baby. Obi. Omega. What is wrong? What can I do?”

Obi-Wan wipes his eyes dry on Anakin’s shirt and looks up at him with a heartbroken but strangely resigned expression. Like he already knows what Anakin’s going to do, and he thinks nothing he says will change anything.

As if.

When Obi-Wan went on a two month long business trip three years ago, Anakin grew out a beard and it only took one look from the omega upon his return before Anakin was shaving it off. The point is, Obi-Wan doesn’t even need to speak half the time for Anakin to agree. He’s just that in love. It’s pathetic. He can’t remember who he was before it.

“I’m a mess, I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan finally gets out, retracting one of his hands from the tight grip he has on Anakin’s shirt to rub at his eye. “I told myself I wasn’t going to be like this, but. I don’t—it’s—“

“Hey, hey,” Anakin soothes, leaning back a bit so he can knock their foreheads together. Packmates do that all the time. “It’s okay.”

Obi-Wan nods slowly, and his scent expands with the pleasant notes of a comforted, protected omega.

“Do you remember…when I went to Seattle at the end of August for that conference?” he starts slowly.

Anakin hums in acknowledgement. He’d wanted to go with Obi-Wan, instincts demanding that the other side of the country was too far for the omega to travel alone, but he’d not been able to get time off of work.

His heart drops into his stomach at the idea that somehow maybe Obi-Wan met someone there during his four-day trip, and he’s in love with them and is trying to find a way to tell Anakin he’s moving.

Would it be pathetic if Anakin followed him? Would Obi-Wan’s new alpha allow Anakin to live with Obi-Wan still? Would Obi-Wan’s alpha be amenable to telling Anakin how he made Obi-Wan fall in love with him in a matter of days when Anakin’s been trying to get the man to love him romantically for six years?

Anakin’s heart rate is up, but it’s nothing compared to the staccato beat of Obi-Wan’s. He tries to send out more calming pheromones, but he can’t even find them for himself.

This is it. He’s about to lose Obi-Wan. The alpha inside of him whimpers, and it takes all of his willpower not to crush his omega tighter to his chest.

No. Not his.

“I met a man there, just at the hotel,” Obi-Wan says. It would have been kinder if he’d just stabbed Anakin with the kitchen knife. There’s no relief to be found in this slow death. Because—because surely, Anakin will die without Obi-Wan. Not physically, of course. He’s not one of those alphas who doesn’t know how to take care of himself.

Actually, it’s Anakin that cooks most of the time for both of them. And Anakin will do the shopping, will keep an eye on the amount of cleaning supplies they have, how much toilet paper, how many garbage bags.

But what would be the point of cooking anything if Obi-Wan isn’t there to taste it and shower him with praise? What’s the point of cleaning the apartment if Obi-Wan isn’t there to tuck himself into his arms on the couch and thank him for the work? What’s the point of anything if he’s doing it without Obi-Wan?

“Anakin, I—“ Obi-Wan stutters and falls silent. Anakin braces himself for the end he should have seen coming. “I’m pregnant.”

White noise. Anakin doesn't even think he’s breathing. Obi-Wan is pregnant. Obi-Wan…had a one-night stand in a city 2,400 miles away from Anakin, and he’s pregnant. Someone touched Obi-Wan, someone made Obi-Wan come, someone got Obi-Wan pregnant, and maybe…maybe there’s a chance they’ll get to keep Obi-Wan too.

The alpha in his chest howls at the thought. The idea that—that someone else will have a better claim on Obi-Wan’s heart. What’s six years of living together compared to a child?

Except Obi-Wan presses further into his chest, with a shaky whine. The omega is here now, not with any other alpha, not in any other city. He’s in Anakin’s bed, in Anakin’s arms.

Anakin opens and closes his mouth, trying to figure out what to say, how to say it, how to speak. He needs to know so much more. He needs to know what Obi-Wan is going to do, if he’s in contact with the father, if he’s planning to move, if he’s planning to raise the—

As if he can hear his thoughts, Obi-Wan starts talking again, very fast as if he’s afraid Anakin’s going to kick him out in a few minutes and he needs to get the whole story out before he does.

“I’m keeping it. Them. I—I’m so old now—“ he’s barely 38– “I’m afraid this could be my only chance at…at a family.”

Anakin closes his eyes and hides his face in the still-damp strands of Obi-Wan’s hair. He doesn’t want Obi-Wan to see how devastated he is at this response. Anakin’s family is Obi-Wan. He’d thought…he’d wanted….

“I understand if you want to move out before the lease ends,” Obi-Wan mumbles, but his hands clench tightly around Anakin’s back. “I know…a baby…another alpha’s baby…you shouldn’t have to take care of them. I know it’s not what you signed up for, I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t hold it against you.” His voice gets smaller and smaller until Anakin has to strain to hear him. “I can do this alone.”

He sounds as if he’s telling himself as much as he’s telling Anakin. But Anakin can’t even focus on that because his entire attention is caught by everything else Obi-Wan’s just said. Because it sounds…it sounds as if Obi-Wan is planning to stay in the city. In the apartment. Without the sire.

Alone.

As if Anakin would ever let Obi-Wan be alone, given the choice. As if Anakin would ever leave Obi-Wan to struggle through any difficulty without him.

Obi-Wan presses impossibly closer to him. “Say something,” he demands, running his nose up and down Anakin’s neck, over his scent glands, as if he expects Anakin to be able to form whole, coherent sentences when he’s doing that with his mouth.

The pregnancy must be messing with Obi-Wan’s instincts and emotions, Anakin realizes distantly. His body must know he’s not mated, that he’s about to be a visibly pregnant, unmated Omega in a dangerous city. No wonder he’s trying to cover himself so completely in Anakin’s scent. He has to wonder if Obi-Wan even understands what he’s doing. He’s never been one to try and he in touch with his Omegan side.

“Alpha,” Obi-Wan pleads, and Anakin has a second realization that it’s been ages since he’s said something. The room fills with the scent of distressed, in pain omega.

Anakin lets out an involuntary purr and tightens his hold on Obi-Wan’s body. It would be nice to look him in the eyes, but he thinks they both need as little distance between themselves as possible. “You’re going to make a great parent,” he soothes, nuzzling along Obi-Wan’s hairline. “And I’m not going to leave you unless you want me to.”

Obi-Wan stills completely as if shocked to his bones, and then he relaxes bonelessly into Anakin’s arms. This time, Anakin feels the tears as soon as they start and he goes about stroking up and down Obi-Wan’s spine again.

“I was so afraid,” Obi-Wan admits between sobs. Anakin thinks to himself privately that he definitely knows how that feels, but one of them shouldn’t be crying. “I didn’t know how to tell you—I didn’t want you to hate me for making such a stupid mistake—“

There’s nothing Obi-Wan could do to make him hate him. Sure, Anakin’s absolutely filled with hatred for whoever caught Obi-Wan’s eye on that business trip, but none of those emotions bleed over into what he feels for Obi-Wan. Not when his love is too strong and entrenched.

“Bail said you’d understand but I’m just—a mess, I don’t know what I’m doing half the time and these goddamn hormones are making me feel out of control—“ Obi-Wan continues. The fact that Bail fucking Organa found out about Obi-Wan’s pregnancy before Anakin did will drive him crazy if he lets it, so he puts that aside for now and focuses on comforting his omega.

“We’ll figure it out,” Anakin says, scenting Obi-Wan back. “It’ll be alright.”

————

A few hours later, Obi-Wan awakens from the nap he’s fallen into with a start. Anakin’s gotten no sleep, too busy drawing nonsense lines on Obi-Wan’s back and staring at the ceiling, thinking about the future. About what’s going to happen to them, around them.

No matter how much he hates the sire of the child in Obi-Wan, he already feels attached to the baby. It’s part of Obi-Wan. Maybe they’ll have his hair color or his eyes. Maybe they’ll have his compassion, his wit. Maybe they’ll let Anakin teach them how to play soccer or swim or cook.

The possibilities are endless and all of them involve Obi-Wan falling in love with him because of how amazing of a father he is to his child.

It’s not the most pressing thought in his mind, but he has to admit at least to himself that it’s there. That he’s just as in love with Obi-Wan as he was when he woke up in the morning. Now he just has another part of Obi-Wan to love: his child.

Maybe their child.

“I need to tell him,” Obi-Wan mumbles from his spot laying across Anakin’s chest. “I don’t—I don’t particularly want his involvement or, or money, but he should know. He should have the option to be in his child’s life.”

The part of Anakin who has just spent the past three hours getting used to the idea of raising Obi-Wan’s child as if he’s his own bristles at the idea of the sire being involved at all.

“Do you have his number?” Anakin asks reluctantly. He can’t imagine getting to sleep with someone as gorgeous as Obi-Wan and not trying to give him a means of keeping in contact.

But Obi-Wan shakes his head.

“His address?”

Another negative. “I…know his name and where he works.”

Anakin bares his teeth at the ceiling. “And?”

Obi-wan sounds more than a bit embarrassed. “Ah. He was the bartender at the hotel. And his name tag said Set.”

“You went to a medical conference full of alpha surgeons and researchers and you…slept with the bartender,” Anakin says blankly, before he can stop himself.

Obi-Wan huffs. It’s the most Obi-Wan response he’s given since he got home from Bail’s. “Sorry my one-night stands don’t meet your standards.”

Anakin hums. The truth is the only person who will ever meet his standards as a romantic partner for Obi-Wan is Anakin. “So what do you want to do? Call the hotel and ask for Set?”

Which, by the way, is the most pretentiously Seattle name he’s ever heard of. Set’s given name is probably, like, David and he just wanted to sound cool and grunge.

“I can’t just—this isn’t something I can say over the phone, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says. He falls silent.

“It’s mid-November,” Anakin points out. “Neither of us are hurting for money, but plane tickets are going to be astronomical until January at least. If they’re available at all.”

There’d be shitty seats available, of course, but Anakin’s not going to let his pregnant omega cram himself into an uncomfortable, smelly seat for eight hours.

“You don’t—I don’t expect you to come with me,” Obi-Wan mumbles into Anakin’s collarbone.

Anakin just manages to bite back a scoff and the urge to point out that last time Obi-Wan went off to Seattle without him, he got pregnant. Who knows what would happen if he does it again?

“Well, I’m gonna,” he says firmly. “But I think we should drive. It’ll take longer, but I’d feel much better about what you’re exposed to, not to mention how much more comfortable my car is than a coach seat. We can share a motel bed to cut costs, and—what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Obi-Wan picks himself up off his chest to stare at him quizzically. “What if your job won’t let you take the days off? They didn’t even let you leave for the original Seattle trip and that was only a few days. We’re talking weeks here, Ani.”

Anakin sets his face into a scowl. He’s worked at the same finance firm since moving to New York, but if they won’t let him take time off for this, for Obi-Wan, he’ll quit. Simple as that. “Then I’ll go anyway and they can fire me.”

Predictably, Obi-Wan has several protests. Anakin will hear none of them. If he is fired, if he can’t find another finance job in the city that makes the same amount of money, then they’ll move out to somewhere else. He’s heard good things about Denver. And if Obi-Wan doesn’t want to move that far, maybe they can move upstate. It’ll be easier to raise a kid outside of the city anyway.

He’s not dumb enough to tell Obi-Wan this, knowing it makes him sound literally insane, but he is just stupid enough to cut Obi-Wan off and say, “you’re the most important person in my life, Obi-Wan. You….you both are.”

Hesitantly he moves his hand down to rest it gently over the slightest swell of Obi-Wan’s tummy. The omega’s breath catches in his throat, but he lets him touch.

“I’m going to be there with you, every step of the way if you’ll have me,” Anakin adds, stroking his thumb over the impossibly soft skin. Pregnant. Obi-Wan is pregnant.

It’ll take a few days more to get completely used to that idea, that’s for sure.

Obi-Wan studies his face with eyes still red-rimmed and puffy from all that crying a few hours ago. Slowly he raises his own hand to Anakin’s neck and rubs up and down his scent gland with something almost like longing in his expression. They’re so close together. Anakin would let him have anything—everything.

Everything.

“Alright,” Obi-Wan agrees with an air of strained incredulity in his voice , placing his other hand over Anakin’s on top of his abdomen. “Yes. Let’s drive to Seattle so I can tell my one-night stand that I’m carrying his child.”

Anakin nods and adds privately in his head, And so I can tell him that that kid’s gonna be mine in everything but blood and he better stay on his side of the goddamn country.

He’s not losing his family to some stupid Seattle alpha.

[honey-lemonz]

From wattpad:

Xmale reader

3rd pov

Sexual Content is included move on if not comfortable with

Includes:masturbation, but plug, dildo, getting caught, slight degrading rough and passionate sex, multiple orgasms, sexual frustrated Obanai.

Request by:EMOPHASEWHENIWASAKID

(Some parts by me other by the Request..)

(if you read American boy here is your smut that I never added. Taisho era)

For almost two years the sun pillar was sent away on an expedition mission to northern Japan, the rumor of the blue spider lily was heard around. A rumor that sounded so true that Muzan may go there himself.

The pillar wasn't sent for the flower he was sent for the upper moon that could be sent or the demon lord himself.

Leaving behind his younger siblings, Tanjiro and Nezuko who was demon. He was also leaving his lover. Iguro Obanai the serpent pillar.

Obanai understood reasons they sent him. He could handle the cold and could handle the upper moon without and problems..its just..

Its been two whole years without him. That meant no one to come home to at their home. Kaburamaru had no ball of sunshine that could let him sleep in his hair. But for obanai it was worst.

Two years sexually frustrated.

Obanai has tried many things even taken suggestions from others. Nothing. 

He could get off on just memories or the kimono's he wore that were left behind. He has sent letters but most were professional ones. Not any promising any punishment or any reward when he would return. It would get to were he would put a but plug in his ass just to satisfy the itch that his lovers cock could get to.

He had to be feeling the same way? Right?

Or was someone else pleasuring him? No he couldn't, Obanai knew. Only he could satisfy his lover the best.

The serpent pillar sat on the back patio of his shared home. For the time being he had finished taking another nap. He had a dream about a fantasy about his lover returning and fucking him ruthlessly.

But a dream is only as good as you make it.

He walked back to the futon on the floor. Feeling the arousal slowly makings its way out of his tight heat. The but plug wasn't going to work anymore. He needed something fucking him, penetrating him.

Pulling the (favorite color) toy out of his hole, leaving it gaping and stretched. Obanai whined at the loss full feeling. But he got up and went into the bathroom. In a small black box were a box full of toys Obanai had even before meeting his lover.

But after meeting him..they weren't needed at all.

Obanai squatted and looked inside for the dildo he wanted. He found one that was about 5 and half inches and was a good 2 inches wide. It should do for now.

In these two years he has been a horny mess. Constantly needing something to please him and the uphill battle of his needs. He just wanted his lover back to please all those needs. 

God it was infuriating.

Obanai's own cock was still hard as when he woke up from his nap. Tip red and need of attention. It was painful but still didn't go away. He just could not finish.

Obanai sat down on the silicone dildo and moaned at the feeling. it wasn't a bratty or a desirable one just a moan of something inside him. It filled a good percent but not enough to reach his prostate. Obanai started to move up and down, bouncing on the dildo.

His white kimono slipping off his shoulders, showing his smooth skin and none marked skin. that was another whole problem he didn't like. 

Trying to get down to the hilt of the dildo to at least graze his prostate to ease the itch, he was moaning and gasping at the fullness. Maybe this time his needs would be met.

Obanai was stroking himself and teasing his nipples, the sensitive buds were being pulled at and pinched, leaving the pillar awe struck. 

Moaning his lovers name as if it was a cry or a plea. Obanai speed up his pace, moving to lye on his back and use his hands. One hand stroking himself the other using the dildo to fuck himself. He was so close, eyes becoming glossy at the feeling. 

"(M?N) FUCK~! Fuck, fuck, shit, please my love come fuck me.." he was crying for his dear lover. The dildo wasn't hitting the right spots no more, and the itch grew even more harsh. His toes curling and his head thrown back on the futon.

"Why when your obviously doing it yourself? Having a hard time getting off my cute little baby?"

Obanai froze. His eyes snap open to see his love sitting cross legged on the opposite side of the room. He was in his uniform, (favorite color) but plug in hand inspecting it. "So this is what you have been doing while I have been away. Begging me to come home and fuck you silly like the slut you are? That's quite surprising isn't it."

His words weren't hurtful just teasing. Obanai could see the large bugle growing in his pants. The sun pillar had his hair down which rested the floor. His uniform at the top was slightly unbuttoned at the showing his chest and abdomen. His eyes had bags under them. But his eyes..

Something Obanai has only seen a handful of times.

Eyes were darker and burning with a lust. His stare and hoarse voice was enough to set the tone.

Obanai felt his cock twitch and he moaned out a spur of curses. 

"Now your having dry orgasms by just my appearance? You must be a desperate little whore today aren't you?" He didn't move from his spot what so ever.

Just drinking in on his expression. It was filling and made both Obanai and (M/n) twitch.

"Please, my love its been two fucking years with out you,please fuck me.." The sun pillar chuckled. "So my cutie is begging to be fucked? That's unlike you Obanai. If you can fuck yourself can't yo get off?"

Obanai groaned at the teasing. He just wanted him to fuck him. 

The an idea came to him.

His lover looked too calm for him. He needed him to get to his level of arousal, by being a fucking brat about things. if he wanted to get fucked he needed to do more.

"No."

The eyes on the sun pillar widen. 

"Why no then cutie? I just saw you so continue."

"No. I want you to fuck me. Unless you've lost your touch." Obanai said getting a little more confident. If keep going he would get the punishment he deserved.

"If my dildo was that close than what says you? I've used them plenty since you left two years ago. SO why don't you come over here and fuck me. Or has the sun pillar found a better bottom bitch to fuck?"

That set the fuel to the flame.

Calm and collected turned to possessive and aroused.

(M/n) was possessive of Obanai, he loved him and only him. Insinuating that he found a better person to fuck made the calm pillar pissed. Obanai knew this, because his lover can get jealous and possessive he knew what he did.

And is getting what he wanted.

The sun pillar was on Obanai in less than a second.

Choking his neck tightly and pinning his hands above his head. Eyes that were usually full of love and kindness, were dark with lust and irritation. He knew his words were empty but couldn't let it up.

"Why when I have a bratty bottom slut here? You want to piss me off for a good fuck cutie? You want me to pound you, make sure you can't walk for a fucking year?"

Obanai had another dry orgasm from his words. This is what two years of a pent up sun pillar was..

Then he should be sent off more often. ( Empty threat.) He hasn't even touched him fully for him to even think like that. The red headed male unbuttoned the rest of his uniform, not having the patience to take off all of his clothes. He undid the belt, taking the hands off of Obanais wrist.

His cock sprung free.

Oh how Obanai wanted to suck him off and tease him. But now wasn't the time.

(M/n) pulled the dildo out and scowled at it.

"Such a pathetic size, this trying to please your for that long, no wonder you couldn't get off cutie..don't worry we'll fix that..

positioning him at Obana's desperate hole, he slammed into him.

"Now!"

Obanai threw his head back and scream. His cock spurted long ropes of cum. Something he couldn't do until now.

"Cumming already? We just started, you really were a desperate slut?" He slammed into him again. Ever word followed a thrust, each time hitting Obanai's prostate and making his see stars. (M/n)'s past wasn't fast or slow. Just from Obanai challenging him made him almost bust a load.

The hand around Obanai's neck tightened, pushing on certain spots to not restrict air, just to make him a little dizzy. Obanai's toes curled as his lover slammed his cock into his tight heat all while degrading him.

His reward.

(M/n) pushed his legs to his chest, making his cock go even deeper into Obanai's dripping heat. He was truly surprised, he was that pent up himself. He didn't even have time to masturbate himself on the expedition.

"Fuck, my cutie your so cute looking fucked out of your mind. Is that what you wanted? To get fucked stupid by me?"

Incoherent word mumbled back a response.

"Yes..please~ fuck..*hic* me more~" He was hiccuping from the tears. The long haired pillar nodded and made sure to aim for his prostate and to basically abuse it as best as he could. Sweat ran down his forehead, making his hair stick to it. The white shirt underneath the black on was sticking to the sides of his torso.

Obanai's eyes had tears brimming out, drool slipping from his lips. His hands held his legs to his chest, hair spread out on the futon all around him. Moans and shouts, hollers and begs came out of his mouth without a care of who heard.

That's what the larger pillar wanted. he wanted anyone and everyone hear his beloved getting fucked out of his mind.

"Such a good little slut..you want the whole village and headquarters to hear your getting a good fuck cutie? You want them to hear you getting pounded by your lover? How you begged and been a bratty  bitch with a fucking plug between your legs? You want to be seen as my slut then I will make you my slut."

He pulled out of Obanai's tight and puckered out hole, flipping him face first into the futon. Using his foot to keep him in place and rammed back into him and a faster pace. Obanai's moans and screams were blocked from the futon mat he was getting fucking into.

 His cock spurted more roped of cum even though it wasn't touched.  His lover feverishly gripping and slapping his ass for good measure.

"God fuck, i'm going to cum and fill your little whore hole kay? I need you to tell me who the fuck gets to fuck your bratty ass kay cutie?"

Mumbles came as an answer. (M/n) making and annoyed noise, pushed his foot harder on Obanai's head. "Can't hear you cutie, you don't get my cum if i can't hear you like fucking you. Again and louder.  Why can fuck this bratty ass cutie?"

"Y-you.."

"Louder cutie!" He removed his foot from his head and pushed his chest into Obanai's back, teasing his over sensitive nipples and continued slamming into him.

"LOUDER."

"FuCk~ YOU DO!" Obanai had tears all over his face, face read and a mess.

"Good now let me fill you with cum like the slut your are. Such a pretty cutie for me." As he said that another orgasm ran through Obanai. It was becoming painful a little.

Obanai's babbles were filled with begs about being his cumslut and filling him to the brink. With one final thrust, making the smaller male see stars again. His desperate prostate and hole was filled with thick and large amounts of the larger's cum.

Emptying himself out, Obanai's hole was milking him dry of the desperate need that was begging to be released. His loved pushed deeper to make sure he took all he had to offer.

He slowly pulled out of his stretched and abused hole, gaping at the loss of contact and fullness. Obanai screamed again while being filled and also came again. He could feel his lovers seed push out of his hole and onto the futon below them.

Pushing the hair out of his face, (M/n) looked at the sight his lover was him. The demon slayer below him, the feared serpent pillar of the demon slayer headquarters looked as if he had been drugged.

Well he was, off of his lovers addicting seed, smell and cock.

"You did so well cutie, such a good slut. See if you follow instructions you could get fucked like this more often instead of pissing me off kay?"

This even only made Obanai want to be even more of a brat to him.

^wattpad, kny oneshots.