#i feel myself seething everytime i think about them

[lesbianironbull]

the dragon age characters drive me insane. i want to pummel them into dust, pack them into a little pill, and take them in the morning w my orange juice. im going to tear them all apart like a dog with a box of chew toys

[mistywaves98]

✧･ﾟ:* ->Yandere! Al Haitham x Fem! Reader

✧･ﾟ:* ->Week (part) 2 of my 400 followers special! I forced myself to finish this with like 0 motivation so I apologize in advance for anything that seems a little odd

✧･ﾟ:* ->¡Warnings!: Non con turned dub con, y'all are implied to be friends, implied belly bulge, gets kinda soft ngl, yandere themes, dark themes, NSFW thoughts, I think that's it!

✧･ﾟ:* ->Minor writing smut! DNI if uncomfy!

✧･ﾟ:* Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

He saw you around the akademiya from time to time, from what he could make out, you were rather lonely, not really mingling with everyone else. He couldn't help but pity your attempts at socialising, often getting ignored when trying to interact with anyone, but he was sure you'd manage someday.

It was surprising when you came up to him one day and shyly asked if it was okay to sit with him, especially since there were other empty benches right next to him, but he still nodded in silent approval, wondering if perhaps you were hoping to try befriending someone again and in all honesty, he just wanted to read his book, but he assumed you would probably give up after a few minutes so he let it slide.

His suspicions were proven correct when you tried to start a conversation, however, it seemed you caught on to the fact that he wasn't really interested in talking so you quickly added that it wasn't necessary for him to speak if he didn't want to.

Al Haitham didn't really think of you to be a chatterbox but people can really shock you sometimes, don't they? You rambled on and on and he was surprised to find himself listening more than he thought he would. When you wrapped your little rant up and bid a him a sweet good bye, Al Haitham found a small part of him hoping you would come back again.

As the days turned into nights and the nights turned into days eventually a few weeks had passed since that first 'meeting' and you had grown much closer to him since day one, you've also had a chance to come over to his residence and even met his roommate.

It had become a daily thing for you two to hang out now and Al Haitham had grown to look forward to your chattering, your voice was so lovely and soothing. Occasionally, he would steal glances at you from behind his book, taking in your happy expression, the way your hair seemed to frame your face perfectly whenever there was a breeze, sometimes trailing his eyes a little lower to admire the way your clothes hugged your figure perfectly...and those sweet tits, they look so soft...he wanted to squeeze them so bad....hm, can you repeat that? He also can't deny the fact he couldn't help but feel a bit jealous when you rambled or even just spoke to anyone else that wasn't him, guy or girl.

He hid those feelings well though, when it seemed he was just focused on reading his book, he was, in reality, seething silently at how well you were getting along with his room mate.

No matter how much he tried to deny it, he couldn't. You were on his mind 24/7. Not to mention how every time he saw you, he resisted the urge to pin you down and take what he really wanted. It was even starting to affect his work, everytime he picked up a piece of paper, he felt as if he was seeing your name written all over it, every face seemed to resemble yours and he swore he saw you walk by from the corner of his eye.

You also noticed he'd become more clingy than usual, insisting that he accompany you to things you'd have never thought he would be interested in. To be honest though, he really didn't care about where you were going, he just wanted to make sure no one tried anything on you.

It gradually became kind of suffocating, you needed some space and you were hesitant to bring it up at first but all you got was a simple nod of acknowledgement, much to your relief. However, whenever you did go out without him, Al Haitham made it clear that you were to come back to his abode before going to your own. Upon arriving, he'd be all over you, hand holding your face tightly as he checked for, what he claimed, 'bruises' (he was actually looking for signs of you hooking up with anyone).

Although it was better than having him follow you around, which he still did at times, you still felt as if you had no privacy. Like if something or someone was always watching and listening to you as you went about your daily life. It made you paranoid. You became anxious and jittery, jumping at the slightest things.

Everytime you were around him you felt uneasy, as if his eyes were always on you, even if he appeared to be busy with other things.

Al Haitham, on the other hand, was secretly smiling at the way you were slowly withdrawing yourself from others, whether you were aware or not, it was only a matter of time before he had you where he wanted you.

When a fellow classmate invited you to see a performance in the Grand Bazaar, he urged you to go (even if it meant you'd have to be with someone else), it would help you relax your nerves after all and relieve some tension. You decided to take his advice with a small smile that twitched slightly when he reminded you to make sure and pay him a visit first before heading home.

While you were gone he managed to get a very bewildered and confused Kaveh out of the house for a while. After tidying up a bit he decided to sit down and wait.

Al Haitham's head snapped towards the door as soon as he heard it creak open, revealing your slightly disheveled form. He was all over you in an instant and his eyes narrowed as he inspected your neck, fingers lightly tracing purple and red marks that could only be described as lovebites.

"What were you doing there?" his voice was low and dangerous as you nervously responded with,"nothing," "Don't lie to me" he grabbed your jaw with one hand, tilting your head up to look him in the eyes. Possessiveness and anger swirled around in them as his glare never faltered. "I-it was just a simple hook up! We didn't even do more than a little making out... but besides, why would that be a problem?!"

"Because. You. Are. Mine."

With that, his lips met yours in a rough kiss. Your hands flew to his shoulders, trying to push him away, but you were too weak. Instead, he pinned you against the door with his body as his tongue pried your mouth open.

The hand holding your jaw travelled down to close itself around your throat as the other cupped your clothed breast, giving an experimental squeeze before brushing his hand over your nipple, feeling it harden through the thin fabric. "No bra? Are you sure you did 'nothing'? Dirty whore."

His hand quickly left your chest area to part your legs that were practically glued together at that point. Two fingers rubbed your pantie-covered pussy, making you whimper and try to close them, but the tightening grip around your throat made you stop. After collecting enough of your slick on his fingers, Al Haitham brought them up to your eye level.

"Look at how wet you are, just from a little make out session, I doubt you would've wanted to stop here, or do you?" Tears formed in your eyes from the embarrassment as you lightly shook your head. "I thought so." Those same fingers were shoved into your mouth as the skirt you were wearing was hiked up to your stomach, revealing a pair of pretty green panties with a leaf pattern covering it,"This was my favourite pair, a shame I'll have to do this." Your eyes went wide as the sound of fabric ripping met your ears.

"Do you think you need to be prepped? Or are you too eager to have a man's cock inside you?" Your mind was filled with fear as you heard him unbuckling his belt. "W-wait, please..." "Please what? I'm sure you can take it, right?"

Tears fell from your eyes as you felt him push it in once he was lined up with your hole. Even though he eased it in slowly, the burn was painful, your nails dug into his muscular biceps as you squeezed your eyes shut. Al Haitham's hand came up to wipe away the tears as he bottomed out inside of you.

Your moans were occasionally interrupted by uncontrollable hiccuping from crying as he began thrusting. His thrusts were as deep as they were gentle and you could see the tip of his cock kiss your cervix everytime. He was so big and you knew there would be a bulge in your stomach if you dared to look down, which you didn't.

You hated how you were getting closer and closer to orgasming, you hated how you felt yourself clench around him even tighter as he praised but at the same time degraded you,"Look at you, taking my cock so well like the slutty bitch you are—fuck, you're so tight, are you seriously getting off on being fucked like this by your friend?"

Eventually you came undone with a cry of ecstasy, your legs spasming and mouth ajar, vision gone white for a moment. Al Haitham didn't stop though. "Please stop, 'm still sensitive—n'more..." "You really thought we're done? You must be dumber than I imagined. I haven't had my pleasure yet and we aren't going to be finished until then."

[starrysnowdrop]

Misunderstandings

Between 3.4 and 3.5; When returning to Fortemps Manor, Hali overhears a private conversation between Artoirel and Aymeric that she shouldn’t have heard.

Reference to @meepsthemiqo’s fic and Meeps x Emmanellain ship HERE

1,280 Words

Content Warning: Description of a panic attack and its symptoms

Hali strolled down the long hallway of Fortemps Manor, hoping to visit Lord Edmont briefly before she had to return to the Rising Stones in the morning.

Just before she went to open the doors to the parlor, she heard the familiar voice of Lord Artoirel. From his particular tone, he was clearly not in the best of moods, and he had seemingly been venting to someone. Hali was about to turn around and head back towards her private suite, but curiosity got the best of her, so instead she stopped to listen in on the conversation. It would only be a few seconds, there’s no harm in that, right?

The lalafell then scooted close to the door, just close enough so that she could hear clearly, but not too close as to look suspicious in case one of the servants rounded the corner and spotted her.

“I still can’t believe Emmanellain quite literally threw himself at an airship, all for the woman who is carrying the child of Haurchefant’s murderer! He always was an embarrassment to the family name, but now he has made us the laughing stock of all Ishgard!”

Oh, Artoirel was just ranting about Emmanellain… again. What else was new?Hali sighing to herself, she was just about to turn around and head back to her private suite, but instead she froze in place when she heard the voice of the man who has haunted her ever since she laid eyes on him. A deep, seductive voice that made her heart flutter everytime he spoke.

The lalafell gasped as Aymeric laughed softly before he replied, “Now now my lord, I wouldn’t say that. Word is that many people were quite moved by Lord Emmanellain’s act of true love, myself included in fact. That must count for something.”

“That’s absolutely ridiculous. The people are too prone to enjoy a spectacle, no matter how absurd it is,” Artoirel seethed.

Hali rolled her eyes at that statement, but she soon found herself stunned as Artoirel continued.

"What will come next?! I can see it now, Mistress Aloke standing in the center of the Hoplon to declare her love for you for all of Ishgard to see!”

What did he say?!? Did Artoirel seriously just tell Aymeric how she feels about him?! Hali’s eyes widened as her heart pounded in her chest, her breathing became rapid and shallow. She feared what Aymeric’s response would be, but she didn’t have long to wait.

“My lord, you are quite mistaken. Hali would never draw so much attention to herself, as she is much too shy, despite her proclivity for candor. Besides, we are good friends, nothing more.”

Hali shook her head, not believing what she was hearing. Good friends? Nothing more? Did he truly mean that? Was it happening again? Did she yet again fall for someone who did not feel the same?

No, this time was worse. These feelings were not just the innocent jitters of a childhood crush. Try as she might, her heart yearned for him. She had soon realized not too long ago that she had indeed fallen in love with Aymeric.

As her head spun, Hali recalled all of those long nights at his bedside, laughing way into the night, when she poured her heart out to him. She had told him things she had never revealed to anyone else in her whole life. And her mind drifted to that night, when they laid in bed together, skin to skin, their bodies entwined, as two lovers would. There was also the recent invitation to his manor for a private dinner, just the two of them, when she could’ve sworn that there was something important that he wanted to tell her, but they were interrupted before more could be spoken.

Had it all been for naught? Did it all really mean nothing to him? Did he truly only think of her as a friend all this time? Had she misread everything?

Before she knew what was happening, Hali felt a wetness on her cheeks, and when she went to touch it, she realized that she was crying. She looked down at the tears that she had unknowingly wiped from her face, and began to feel flushed. Her hands started shaking, a feeling of tension took over her body. Hali clutched her chest, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself, but it wasn’t working.

Artoirel’s voice then floated to her ears, ”If you think so. She does seem to be occupying herself with her Scion duties as of late, while you are busy with your new position as Lord Speaker. Thank the Fury you had the sense to see reason and distance yourself from her.”

The tears flowed freely from her eyes, falling from her face onto her robes. Her world began to spin as she couldn’t catch her breath.

He wasn’t just busy, but he was purposely distancing himself from her?

She was such an idiot to ever think that someone as beautiful, noble, strong, dutiful, and kind as Aymeric would ever love someone like her.

No, she couldn’t hear any more. Her heart shattered as one prevailing thought echoed in her mind. She had to run.

Hali dashed back down the hallway and threw open the front doors to Fortemps Manor, running as fast as she possibly could.

~**~

Meanwhile, in the parlor…

��Lord Artoirel, are you implying that I ought to be ashamed of her? That she is as much of an embarrassment to me as your brother is to you?” Aymeric’s ice blue eyes narrowed at his fellow elezen, who shook his head in turn.

“No, that is not what I meant!”

Aymeric took a deep breath as he stepped forward, only a couple of fulms away from Artoirel before he spoke.

“My lord, let me make myself perfectly clear. I have taken your advice to heart, and will not attempt to court Hali any further, though not for my sake, but for hers.”

Artoirel’s face contorted with confusion, but Aymeric didn’t allow him to reply.

“Ishgard has made great strides as of late in bringing not only man and dragon together in harmony, but the highborn and the lowborn as well, and we have since rejoined with our brothers and sisters of the Eorzean Alliance. And yet, there is still much that must be overcome,” Aymeric said as he gripped a small object in his pocket, his mind drifting away momentarily before he resumed. “I am no fool. I still have many enemies. There are still those who would see me dead, and if they knew who I have given my heart to, she would have a target on her back at all times. I have already suffered an attempt on my life, and I will not see her come to harm on my behalf. I could never forgive myself.”

Aymeric closed his eyes as he gripped the object in his pocket tighter. When he opened his eyes once more, he looked to Artoirel with resolve.

“So you see? I must protect her no matter the cost. Even if I must endure living my life without her by my side.”

Artoirel nodded, his expression remaining relatively neutral. “… I see. In that case, are you going to accept one of the many offers of marriage that you have received thus far? In my opinion, a daughter of one of the High Houses would be most advantageous for you.”

Aymeric stared at Artoirel with a deep frown. “Absolutely not. My heart belongs only to Hali. Anyone else but her is out of the question.”

Artoirel merely shrugged in response. “Well, ‘tis your decision, my lord.”

[dadkisser15]

I’m actually going to cry why do I miss him so much right now ☹️

He’s asleep and I don’t really want to sleep yet because I want to speak with him but I’m just doomscrolling on TikTok as one does and I decided that I missed his face and opened up my camera roll and he sent me this picture that his brother took of him sleeping earlier and it’s just so cute. Oh there’s tears in my eyes I really really like this man ,,,,,

He just looks so beautiful, he wouldn’t believe me if I told him that but I really do just adore his features. (If we had kids oh my godddd. I know that’s crazy that I’m even thinking that but I CANNOT HELP MYSELFF!!!) I love his eyes and his long lashes, I love his beautiful brown hair (especially when it’s messy) , his cute scruffy facial hair and his side burnnsssssssss. Oh and his nose, especially in the picture i mentioned earlier ohhhh my gosh it just looks so amazing. He dislikes his nose so much and constantly makes jokes about reducing the size of it and it upset me a lot because I really do believe it’s beautiful. To me it’s like a work of art, when I was doing more character art my favorite thing to draw was noses !! His nose shape was literally my favorite type to draw and I feel like that makes him very special. Like, wow this boy I’m insanely infatuated with is quite literally a work of art. I’m still looking at the picture and I didn’t mention earlier but I love his cute little mustache, everytime I look at it I just wonder how it would feel to his him and feel that brush against my lip, would it even? I’m not sure, I kinda forgot how it feels like to kiss someone but I’d love to relearn with him. That feels a tad inappropriate to say but I really do feel that way. I’m not feeling really sad anymore but I’m also just upset by the fact that I was even missing him even though I spoke to him a couple hours ago. He literally told me before going to bed not to miss him too much and i thought to myself, “that’s silly, it’s just a couple hours and I’ll be fine” and I hate to say it but he was right. I hate how he knows how my brain works, well.. I don’t hate it. It’s just embarrassing how predictable I am, maybe I’m just boring but who reallly knows.!!! Oh and I was so upset because he left me on sent for a little while see actually I’m okay with that but I just didn’t know what he was doing and that was upsetting me and because I didn’t know my brain immediately jumped to overthinking so I kinda just upset myself. I know verrry dumb but that’s just how I am, I’m always just thinking of the what’s if and I made myself feel bad for no reason. Maybe I do need a lobotomy but what if my overthinking was right. What do I do then!!!!! Be the other woman ? FUCK NOOOOOO !!!!!! I’d rather get stabbed in the arm five times in the same spot okay wait that actually sounds deranged but listen I just would not like being a second option or some stupid shit like that and my insecurities are just jumping out at me and making me think I am but guys, wtf do I do actually if I am ??? 😨 KMS??? That’s also crazy and dramatic so no but I pray that this boy is not trying to do me dirty because I think I’d genuinely lose my mind. Can we just eviscerate all his female friends? Like genuinely, just treat them like fish or something idk 😜!! Sorry thatsss meannnnnn. He can have female friends i guessss 😒. I personally believe they shouldn’t be doing no corny shit with my boy though like cutesy nicknames or making them match with him like FUCKKKKNOOOOOOOOOO .!! 😭😭😭 THAT ALONE IS 50 FUCKING BODIES.

50 FUCKING BODIES !!!!

Kidding, I can’t do shit about that except SEETHE and that I will do!! I’m currently seething thinking about it right now. God, liking a boy with female friends is not for the weak because I am the weak and I cannot take this. Maybe it’s all the over thinking but this shit making me feel sick to my stomach.hhhhh. Oh my god can god take me right now because the thoughts that are going through my head right now might make me just pass away rn to just meeet him. Oh I wanna cry! WHATEERVEVEGER I’ll stay jealous, mad and seething like crazy. I just wish I could have him in my arms and just have him as mine. If he gets tired yeah he can leave but for now I’d just like to have him. Like ohh calm down guys you can have him back after like 2 weeks just let me have him for a while!!! I just want to treat him good and make him feel good. Ohhhhh guys don’t start throwing up pitchforks just because I want to keep him busy for a while, yall will get him back don’t worry 😒. Jeeeeezzzzzzus! Okay I thought that bit was funny. I’m not saying he should isolate himself or anything but like guys do we need female friends ��🙄🙄. Joking JOKINGG PUT THE PITCHFORKS DOWNN GUYS IT WAS A JOKE!!! Anyways I should conclude this dumb rant because nothing about this will change and I will forever be salty. OH MY GOD salty is the perfect way to describe how I’ve been feeling!! It’s like I’m jealous but I can’t do shit so all I can do is let this feeling linger and be salty because I’m very non confrontational at times and especially when I don’t want to be verbal about my feelings. OHH LINGER BY THE CRANBERRIES

DO YOU HAVE TO LET IT LINGERRRRE DO YOU HAVE. TO LET IT LINGERRRR

[mocha-sees-all]

Just some late night thoughts.

Should I feel bad that I'm so bitter about still being single?

"well what do you mean mocha?"

I mean, all of my dearest friends are in relationships, all of my family members are in relationships, the only one who isn't, has a very real reason (that I will not be saying) to not be in a relationship, and they are pretty happy where they are, but still encourage me to have one.

My Parental Figure talks sometimes about how I'll be such a great Mom one day, how I'll have a husband who loves me and everything will be fine. Only every day that passes by that I'm still single, I believe those words less and less.

I love children (when they're old enough to communicate, so about 4 and up) I do want some of my own , (2 at the most) I plan to adopt because while being "pregnant" is such a miracle to some, my inner male counterpart is very against it, and the female part could do without the pain. So, adoption.

All that to say, when I hear about other's relationships, I find myself frustrated at them sometimes. I'm happy for them, as any friend would be, but a part of me seethes in anger towards their relationship.

"How come they are happy with someone and I'm not?"

"Why is it so hard for me and easy for them?"

"why the hell does my family tease me about this so much?"

I feel lied to that curvy busty women are now desirable. I'm curvy, I just went UP a bra size, where the hell are my suitors?!

I struggle with self image often. It's gotten better, where about 70% of the time, I love myself, I love being me unapologetically, I try new things to make me feel happy and pretty. And then 30% of the time I'm depressed, I feel ugly and worthless, undesirable.

Part of this is my condition of cyclical Depression, and years of self hate, but it's still something to mention .

I know I'm only 18 turning 19, so I have all of my 20s to think about. But most people date in highschool- freshman year of college. And my first actual relationship ended TWO DAYS after it was established. Very abruptly, very hurtfully, and with little warning.

And Everytime I hear about "oh,I'm in a relationship now" outwardly, I'm like "oh really? That's so great! I'm super happy for you!" And internally I'm like "Fuck you, you and your relationship, how dare you be happy in my presence, how dare you rub the salt of me still being single at my age In my wounds of insecurity "

And it makes me feel horrible that I internally feel this way to a friend. Who I am genuinely happy for. I feel like a terribly selfish person, and like someone like that doesn't deserve a relationship . Which frustrates me further, because if I had one, I wouldn't feel this way. So... should I feel as terrible about this as I do? Or is this something normal?

[julianmajablancas]

entry 10.

april 28, 2023

after a much awaited return (literally no one said that) i’m back. a lot has happened since my last entry, my girlfriend (or now ex) broke up, i got admitted to rehab, had the lowest point of my life there, bounced back, and now i’m having my ??? moment. what prompted this entry is my recent string of failed relationships (by string i mean 5 of them, all failed horribly) and i’m feeling like an absolute fool about it. i don’t have the drive to detail each of them, they’re all a piece of shit one way or another. i won’t say it wasn’t all my fault but there’s only one instance where i can say that it really was… anyway, i was feeling really low and melodramatic these days, it’s like thoughts are clouded over my head. am i really that unlovable? the only moment i became my true self was when i told her what i wanted to be treated like, but apparently it was too much that she decided to go completely unresponsive to me. i mean, all of them had these unique qualities in my mind which made me think that we were 4ever, looking back that was one of the most batshit insane things i’ve probably said. my closest friends can attest to this, and it’s funny because everytime i would introduce someone to them it would go horribly WRONG. i would miss them randomly, and i know this was my delusion talking because i would miss the what-could-have-beens and not the situation as it was. i would get in this cycle of beating myself up for relationships ending prematurely and i never got anything good of it. still, i subconsciously still do it. i know the way to end all of this is to stop seeking validation but growing up unvalidated it’s better said than done…

sometimes i would remember my ex. its making me confused too, like how i would root for kyle all the way to the end yet i couldn’t say the same for her… i wonder if we became friends after i wouldn’t be feeling like this, i would be at least indifferent towards her, maybe even happy. but the thing is, i’m not. i’m rooted in this deep seethed anger. i don’t know if i’m capable of ever forgiving her completely. a friend said to me that some people just aren’t meant to be friends with. and i kinda agree, maybe it’s like that. kyle was probably a good candidate to be a friend but she wasn’t. it doesn’t help at all that i’m listening to Cool About It by Boygenius. that song basically talks about how you can’t stand to be with someone you still hate, but you’re just faking it all the fucking way. and it hurts. it fucking hurts me in ways i do not expect. i wouldn’t be able to function, to do the basic things i used to do. sometimes i can’t stand the pain, i just want to wallow in my own depressing self pity and self sabotage all the ways i could’ve prevented it from happening. if i hadn’t talked to winslet, would we still be together? if i didn’t choose to ignore her, would we still be together? but in the back of my mind i know i could have done absolutely nothing wrong. looking from an outsider’s point of view, it was really her problem, she needed to do some serious self reflection. and it would end, just like the way things do. i hate that she’s happy with someone else, and it’s not me. as cheesy as it may sound tears are currently flooding my eyes as i’m writing this. i know her next will be met with intense disappointment also, just by the way she treats life in general. and i feel sad for him. i know i’m over her, it’s been months, but sometimes i just hate remembering. ever since then, i’ve just been met with continuous disappointment. which is probably why i’m feeling like this. i don’t know, i have more thoughts about this whole thing than i’d like to write but that will be all for now. i hope tomorrow i’ll feel better, i know there are better days ahead than this….

[fanmoose12]

I like to think the first time when Levi and Hanji confessed their feelings it was during a fight. Hanji's going through the mess in her office worried that she's failing as a commander and in a moment of weakness admits she should've been the one to die that day instead of him. She wasnt needed here. Erwin was. Erwin would've known what to do. Levi who had just entered the office to check up on her starts seething with anger & roughly strikes his fist against her table. She looks up at him shocked and teary eyed. 'Wtf hanji? After all we've been through, all you care about is dying like a coward?' She gets up and starts shouting at him. How he doesnt get the pressure shes under. That she feels lonely most of the time. She misses Moblit. She misses who she was. She misses watching the world with both eyes. You feel so distant. Im sick of pretending there's no space between us anymore when there's a vaccuum. Heck you dont even call me four eyes anymore. She stops when he grabs her by the arm and pulls her close. 'Does it matter to you that much?' He isnt looking at her. Shes stunned unable to come up with a diversion. She gives in and accepts it. 'Yes. It does. You were..u were all I was left with Levi. And it feels like I lost you too' He pulls her close meeting her eyes with a look she hasnt seen before. 'U think ur the only one who's miserable? U think I dont see u dying everyday crumbling under this pressure? U think i dont carry the burden of our fallen comrades on my shoulders? U think its easy to love someone who probably blames u for making her life hell? To see myself lose u to this position u hold? I die everyday hanji. I feel like the loneliest man to ever exist. I lost u too that day. Everytime I look at u I see the ghost of who hanji was and how I killed her. Im miserable too hanji but knowing you'd rather choose death than stick with me here......I cant bear the thought" She stares at his face for the first time after that event on the wall. His handsome features strained and drained. She thought his eyes were lifeless then yet now...he looked half dead. She prided herself in being the only one able to read him yet she failed this time. He...loved her? God. This infuriating emotionally constipated man was telling her he loved her missed her. Stupid Levi. Stupid Hanji. They were here. They were alive and together. The world was cruel but so beautiful. They were soldiers who had devoted their hearts to a cause greater than them. But at this moment, she felt like nothing else mattered but this man before her. She was so glad he was alive. So glad he was here with her. She held his face in her hands stroking his cheeks. He looked stunned for a moment before his features relaxed. As though he had heard the rumbling in her head. She let go of his face and took his hand while moving out of the office to her room. She gave him a hesitant look as they reached her door thinking what if theyre not on the same page. What if shes taking it too fast. What if shes misreading the situation. He answered by opening the door and dragging her inside with him. Sitting on the bed he reluctantly took her hand in his 'Hanji..I..' She stopped him by putting a finger on his lips. 'Dont'

She brought his face closer to hers. She could feel her heart beating against her chest and his warm breath on her face. 'Oh God what am I even doing' she thought to herself. As she was fumbling with her actions, Levi smiled and reached towards the back of Hanji's head, pulling her close. "Let me start this time," he said, lips brushing over hers delicately. He pulled her close and pressed his lips to Hanji's, appreciating their fullness. He began giving her small smooches, noticing that both his and Hanji's breathing had increased. Hanji had wrapped her arms around Levi, pulling him closer to guide his mouth deeper into the kisses. It was like a hidden door had been unlocked inside Levi. He became suddenly overwhelmed with the amount of suppressed affection he held for her. So this is how to tell her without words, he thought. "Hanji," Levi whispered, barely audible. He ran his tongue softly along her lips, relishing her taste. Hanji moaned, causing a tingle to run down his spine. "Levi," protested Hanji but he captured her lips with his once more. "Hanji," he whispered as he kissed her deeper and continued to embellish her with kiss after kiss, only allowing her to breathe as he whispered her name over and over. "Hanji...Hanji...Hanji."

With much will power, she pushed him away realizing the situation was bound to get out of control if she didnt. 'Levi wait' He looked up at her with dizzy eyes waiting for her to continue, " Levi....I’m not sure where this life will take us. I dont know how long we'll live. But if we survive...promise me...when we're finally done with our duties in the Survey Corps...You'll...consider living with me in the woods somewhere" Levi smiled and planted a tender kiss on her forehead. "I don't know..." He pulled away to gaze into her imploring stare. "I don't do promises.." Her face fell at his words. 'But I can make an exception in this case. Promise me you'll survive. Promise me that and I'll agree to the forrest deal" Hange beamed at him before giving him a peck on the cheek. "Only if you're with me till the very end"

"Damn it Four Eyes..." he chided mockingly as he reached up for her chin to give her another adoring kiss. For the first time after the battle in Shiganshina, they both didnt feel lonely that night.

anon!!!!!!! wtf this is so good!!!! i was at the edge of my seat and gripping my heart frantically!!! what a rollercoaster of emotions!!! thank you for blessing my eyes with this💕

[ginanosakka]

I’m Sorry

Masterlist

I Hate It Here | Next

“How did you guys figure it out?” You sighed, dropping onto the bed and tossing your phone into the mess of sheets you couldn’t be bothered to make with the little sleep you ran on.

“I figured it out,” Katsuki said with a blatant possessive tone. “I know how you react to your old man, and you’ve made it clear that the bastard has no problem trying to kill you.” He explained, and you just nodded, deciding to disregard it in your exhausted state.

“Your dad gave me some off vibes back then, but I didn’t know just how bad it was. . I’m sorry all of this keeps happening to you.” Eijirou frowned, his anger seeming to simmer into pity for you.

Katsuki glared at him, “she doesn't need your apology when you didn’t do anything.”

‘They’d never really argue. . right?’ You thought, looking back and forth between the two silently.

“You’re right, but she deserves an apology from you. Katsuki! Maybe if you’d stop acting like that you two could get somewhere before someone else gives her the life she deserves!”

‘They would.’

“Okay, can we just-“ you were cut off by Katsuki.

“You don’t understand a damn thing, stupid hair! Don’t act like you know her,” Katsuki growled and took a threatening step towards Kirishima that he mimicked without an ounce of fear.

“I know that you aren’t capable of being a real man and admitting you’re wrong,” Kirishima bit back.

When a small explosion went off in Katsuki right hand you immediately put yourself between the two with you back to Kirishima, and your arms were held out in front of you to stop Katsuki. His piercing red eyes still didn’t meet yours, and you assumed he and Kirishima were having a stare down, but neither would make a move with you between them. Whether it was because they were still heroes even when angry or something much deeper, you didn’t know and this was no time to find out.

“Kirishima. . I need you to go for now. Thank you for sticking up for me,” you addressed the redhead.

You didn’t get a response for a moment, but after a while he muttered a quiet, “okay.” You watched as Eiji moved to leave the room with a final glance at you, and the moment he was out of the room you took a step away from Bakugou.

“I can’t keep doing this with you,” you sighed once again and ran a hand over your face.

“. . . He’s right.”

You almost got whiplash from how fast your head whipped up to meet his face. Katsuki Bakugou looked absolutely guilt ridden, and you were sure your eyes had become the size of saucers looking at that expression on his face. Especially after he was just ready to blow Kirishima’s face off for saying what he did.

“I broke your heart and made you think you weren’t worth shit, I gave you a kid and left you to struggle for six years, and when you took the time to tell me and let me meet my kid, I forgot that what I made you out to be was a liar and spoiled brat when you were nothing like that. I-“

You tried to cut him off, “I’m over it-“

He glared at you, “stop fucking lying. I can see it everytime you look at me. You think about the day I told you that I was done pretending to like spending time with you. . that you were just some spoiled princess and the only reason I hung around you was because your father offered me a damn deal! I lied!”

Your world had been shattered before, on multiple occasions that left you in a near out of body experience from the sheer shock, not to mention the pain. The words that came out of his mouth made a numbness wash over your entire body, and you could only stare at his tears eyed face that was flushed with so many emotions. Was this the face that broke you all those years ago? This was why he couldn’t look you in the eyes when he brought your world to a stop? None of it made sense to you, but there was so little you knew behind the scenes of your entire childhood that came to light in bits and pieces.

“What?” Was the only word you could process, your brain just needing more information to make even one word of what he was saying seem real.

“I wasn’t supposed to care about you, I was just supposed to put up with you until you found something else you were interested in, that’s what my deal was with that bastard. I thought it was going to be easy, like babysitting sims little brat and then I’d get ahead of that damn half-and-half bastard and Deku. . but you were so determined to be around me, and I couldn’t find a single thing that was actually wrong with you!” Katsuki seethed, his hands curling up into fists at his side. “You were always there for me no matter what I said to you, and you didn’t care at all whether or not I was going to be the number one hero or just some loser. . and I hated myself because I loved you!”

“You’re lying-“ Oh, how the tables turn.

“I kissed you first. I know you remember that, and I know you remember how real that was, Y/N. You felt everything I was feeling that night.”

That stupid night.

It was just a regular night by your standards, you doing the most impossible task of entertaining Katsuki when something was plaguing his mind. You didn’t mind talking for hours to him, it made you feel useful when he would come to you with all these complicated emotions that you never experienced before. He had a bigger part in life than you, and you were just happy to ease his mind when his life wasn’t guaranteed.

“My tutor said I’m probably better at tricking him than any actual subject, and I don’t really think that’s a bad thing when I can get him to waste an hour telling me about his daughter’s first steps than teaching me math-“

“You talk too much.” Before you could retort back to him or even look at him, he had his arms around your waist and pulled you to lay down with him on your bed.

“If you wanted to cuddle, all you had to do was say something,” you smirked with a laugh.

The initiation of contact was enough for you, giving you the go ahead to grab his hand that wasn’t behind your head and gently rub it. It took months for him to be okay with you touching his hands so freely, and despite the fact that he said it was because he didn’t like touching, you knew he was scared to hurt you. It was the same way you knew he was hurting, or sad, or happy.

“You’re a little shit,” he responded with his red eyes glaring softly into yours, but you could see the small ghost of a smile threatening to show on his face.

“But I’m your little shit. I bet you if I was anything less than a little shit, you’d be bored of me. That’s why you’re always-“

Soft and warm lips pressed against yours, and you were flipped onto your back with him hovering over you. The flips your stomach was doing, the way your heart was nearly beating out of your chest, and the fog that was beginning to coat your brain left you whirling. He had never kissed you before, settling for rare hugs and gentle touches when you were alone that would kill him to speak about to anyone else. Your body was on fire, and just when you thought his lips would leave yours for good, they once again pressed against yours with fever and need that you were so unaware of before.

When his lips finally did leave yours, his face hovering just inches above yours, you could see the blush covering his cheeks that was accompanied by a cocky smirk on his face. “I said you talk too much.” He taunted before connecting the both of you once again.

You wished for nothing else but to be frozen in that moment.

“There was nothing in that deal with him that made me sleep with you. That night made me feel so stupid, because how was I suppose to love you and pretend like you weren’t being lied to and used by everyone. I knew if I were to come clean and say some stupid apology you’d accept it, you’d forgive everyone around you that didn’t deserve you. I had to lie to myself for days after that and tell myself all those horrible things about you, make myself actually believe them and do what was right.. What I thought was right- Damn it!”

He got onto his knees and you weren’t sure if your jaw was going to hit the floor first or your eyes that were nearly bulging out of your sockets. This was happening. Everything was beginning to make sense, your heart was hurting and your head was spinning, and Katsuki fucking Bakugou was on his knees in front of you. You didn’t know you were crying until your vision became so blurry you couldn’t make out Katsuki’s figure, but you could see that his head was down in shame.

“I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry, Y/N, and you should hate me. . but I’m not going to stop trying and I’m not going to sit here and let you take that bastard down alone. . and I’m not going to let someone else take my

spot without a fight.”

Katsuki blinked away the tears in his eyes as silence fell in the room, unsure of how you were reacting and if he had done the right thing by throwing his pride away. He looked up despite his fear and doubt, needing to know what was going through your head. Your eyes were closed now, the tears falling down your face at a slow pace. Your bottom lip was trembling, and he could see the smallest signs that you were shaking where you stood.

“Y/N-“ He reached out his hand to you, but in a split second his head was snapped to the left, the stinging on his cheek truly cementing what you had just done. He turned his head slowly back to you, expecting to see rage, but a goofy smile he hadn’t seen in years was on your tear stained face.

“You’re a little shit, you know that?”

(A/N: My favorite chapter by far. Really, this one eats.)

Taglist (Closed) <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @damnirina @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa @vintage-teddyxo @regalmigraine @samvmgh @iamagalaxy @officialtrashbusiness @xwackk @videogameboiwhowins @marajillana @ellasdilemma @plutoneu @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @thestarsanctuary @dewdropwifu @star-light-imagines @kritiiiii @bakugosbottombitch @the2ndl @candybabey @simply-not-the-same @sam-i-am-1025 @mes-bisous @eternallyvenus @peppytine @chaelysian @definitely-yours @oikawarc @suneaterofthebig3 @m0na-l0ver @nkb0048 @losertsukki @notyourfavorlte @caramelsquares @hikaru-mikazuki

[miss-smutty]

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 3

A/N- The secrets out! Well to you guys anyway 🤫

Summary- You've got a secret to hide and it's going to cause complete and utter destruction. It's only so long until your lies are going to catch up to you.

Word count- 3,258

Warnings- Swearing, lies, deceit, cheating

Pairing- Chris Hemsworth X you / Liam Hemsworth X you

18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 25th May 2021

Taglist-: @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @mostly-marvel-musings

Chapter 1 + 2

"Morning babe, I tried to let you have a sleep in. I didn't wake you did I?" He asks, preoccupied with the washing up.

"No, I actually had a good sleep for once." You say nonchalantly while searching through the kitchen cupboards for a mug in a half asleep haze. "That's not going to last long when I have to spend the weekend in a hotel bed though."

Finally finding your favourite mug right at the back of the cupboard, you slam it on the counter a little more aggressively than you expected, startling you out of your daziness. Your boyfriend raises his eyebrow at you questioningly and you just shrug your shoulders back at him. It was definitely going to be one of them days, those days where nothing goes right. You would question what you'd done to deserve it but you already know the answer to that.  You were just going to have to put up with karma kicking your ass at any given moment for the rest of your life.

"Aww I know babe, at least it's only two night's though." He comes up behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist. "You've just reminded me -" He presses carefully, the way he shifts his composure telling you he's uncomfortable with what he's about to say and your heart begins to beat a little faster. " - I know you're going away tomorrow and I really wanted to have the night alone..." He pauses again.

"Just tell me, what is it?" You ask, trying to keep the annoyance from your voice.

"My brother called this morning, he sounds in a bad way so I said he can come over and hang out tonight. You don't mind do you?" Now your heart stops beating completely, what the hell is he playing at? 

 "I'm worried about him, he's not been right lately and he's going away for work tomorrow night too so it's the only time I can see him really." You're angry with him for saying he's going away too, how more fucking obvious can he make it? You're just both suspiciously going to be away with work at the same time. You can't protest about it now, you don't want to raise any more questions.

"No of course not, babe." You agree reluctantly, still seething with anger on the inside. "Right, I'm going for a shower and then I better start packing." You sulk.

"Do you want some help?" He ask as you kiss him on his cheek while you're passing. 

"It's ok babe, you know how meticulous I am with my packing." You say smiling softly at him.

"Gotcha, I am not getting involved with that. Give me a shout if you want a coffee." 

"You're the best." 

                         ****************

Using the tap to muffle the sound of your voice while you make a call. This was starting to become a habit now, the sound of running water in the background whenever you speak to him, a memory that you will never forget. Whenever you run your bath or fill the sink you're going to be reminded of your lying and cheating. Great! Just another thing to add to the list of things to look forward to in the future.

You never thought you'd be a cheater, especially to someone you loved and cared for so deeply. You'd always despised people who cheated, could never understand how people could have multiple lives and cheat multiple times. Naively thinking that if they weren't happy they should just tell the person they are with and stop all the hurt but it doesn't always work that way. You didn't suddenly think 'hey I'm not happy, I'm going to go fuck someone else'. You certainly wouldn't have chosen his brother if that was the case. Over the years it just happened and you hated yourself for it. You weren't even unhappy in your relationship, so that throws all your theories of 'cheaters' completely out of the window. The sound of the dial tone snaps you from your thoughts.

"Hi babe." He answers almost immediately, leaving you with no time to regain your composure. "Hello?" 

"Oh erm.... Don't 'hi babe' me." Not a great start, you have to admit.

"What's wrong?" You can tell that Chris is amused with your tone of voice and it makes that anger resurface.

"You know exactly what's wrong, why the fuck are you coming over here tonight?" 

"Erm to s-" you don't even give him time to speak before you interrupt him. You don't believe that he's just coming to see Liam, you know he's coming to see you no matter what he says.

"As if it's not awkward enough without having you both in the same house together... You have to cancel." The thought of them both being together with you filled you with fear. How were you supposed to act around them both? The idea of it fills you with chills.

"I'm not cancelling. I haven't seen him in a while and he invited me. It'll be fine, I'll be on my best behaviour, I promise. I get you all to myself tomorrow anyway." 

"Exactly so why do you need to come over here and make everything all awkward?"

"Babe I'm coming to see my brother, you get me to yourself tomorrow. Don't be selfish" you could hear the amusement in his voice, you're sure he enjoys this.

"Pfft." A huff is about the only thing you could manage right now.

"You get to have both your favourite people in the same room, at the same time... Hey maybe we can have a threesome?" 

"Fuck off." You murmur, although you have to admit the thought of it does turn you on slightly. In a perfect world that would be the best possible outcome but it's not a perfect world and that most definitely would never happen.

"I'll see you tonight, wear something sexy." He laughs.

"This isn't funny." You reply before hanging up the phone and you're left alone with the tormenting sound of flowing water.

This is going to be a disaster, you can't help but think that tonight is the night it all comes out. Surely this isn't what he has planned, he wouldn't want to hurt his brother in such a viscous way. To announce at dinner that he's fucking his girlfriend and that they've been going behind his back and fucking for years. Surely not?  You're pretty sure you're being paranoid but know you're going to be on the edge of your seat all night, frightened everytime he opens his mouth to speak.

                                 **************

You're sure you've downed almost a full bottle of wine before he's even arrived, you try to remember how many glasses you've had when you finally hear the dreaded chime of the doorbell. Your head is dizzy with bubbles already, your stomach churning at the thought. It wasn't the cleverest of ideas to drink so much already, not when you need to be sharp and aware of what you're doing and saying. Fuck.

The way Chris' eyes light up when he sees you reminds you exactly why this is all worth it. You feel your nerves settle slightly now the first step was over and it wasn't so bad was it? You don't know what you were actually expecting, him to walk through the door and kiss you passionately sounds about right though.

"Chris! Hi, how you doing?" You act, standing on your tiptoes to hug him. It's so hard acting like he's your brother in law and not your... Boyfriend? Lover? You don't even know what to call him.

"Hi, beautiful." He whispers into your ear, making your stomach flip when you feel his lips graze against your neck. "I'm good thank you, how are you guys?" He says louder, moving away from your arms reluctantly and standing against the counter. The glint in his eyes and the smirk on his lips make him look sexy as hell, you bite onto your lip as hard as you can. Hoping to draw blood so you can concentrate on the pain and not the fact you want to rip your boyfriend's brothers clothes off.

"We're great" Liam replies.

"I'm sure you are." Chris says sarcastically under his breath, luckily Liam didn't hear him. You give Chris the glare, reminding him to be on his best behaviour.

"But how are you? You didn't sound too good the other day." Liam asks, opening a bottle of wine.

"I was probably just tired bro, you know how it is. I don't get much sleep nowadays." 

"Oh yeah, is a woman involved by any chance?" Liam asks, laughing to himself.

"Yeah, something like that." Chris subtly grazes your hand as you walk into the kitchen to help Liam. You freeze on the spot, looking into his eyes you see a desperately pleading look. You know this is torture for him, that he just wants to grab you and hold onto you. Even though he tries his best not to, he hates his brother for it, he hates that he gets to have you.

"Anyway, it smells great in here. What you making?" Chris says locked in eye contact with you. 

"I've just thrown together some dinner." You say casually, although deep down your heart is tugging and your hands are shaking.

"Her food is fucking amazing, I probably should have made sure you hadn't eaten first though?" Liam puts his arms around you and kisses your cheek as you carry on stirring the food on the stove. You're glad you have your back to Chris because you dread to think of his reaction. How you have to pretend you don't know each other on that deep level. You had tried to warn him that this was a bad idea.

"Yeah, no that would be awesome. Thanks" You can tell by the way his voice broke that this is causing him pain and there's nothing you can do about it. 

                              **************

"Do you want a beer or are you ok with wine?" Liam asks Chris as you sit down at the table ready to eat.

"I'd love a beer bro" Chris replies. You watch from the corner of your eye as Liam heads to the fridge, your heart beating a little faster now he's out of sight. Looking to Chris nervously.

Chris takes the opportunity while Liams back is turned and grabs your hand under the table. Stroking your palm with his thumb he mouths the words 'love you'. You can't help but feel sorry for him, this horrible situation you're all in. You mouth the words back to him before he lets your hand go when Liam comes back into sight.

All the way through the meal Chris can't take his eyes off of you, you're worried Liam will notice but he's paying no attention. Obviously he has no reason to doubt his loyal girlfriend and protective big brother, why would he? Which makes your betrayal even more unbearable.

"This is great Y/N." Chris says after tasting your food and moving your dress a little higher so he can place his hand on the top of your bare thigh under the table. The shock makes you jump and you hit your knee on the top of the table.

"Are you alright?" Liam asks looking slightly confused.

"Sorry, yeah. I just burnt my mouth." There's a slight hint of amusement in your words, you're a bad person but the situation is just too much not to find it slightly funny. The feel of Chris' hand on your thigh makes you feel butterflies in your stomach at the same time as the deep sick feeling of dread, your mind in a giant conflicted turmoil of feelings.

You can see Chris is also trying to hide his laugh as he takes a sip from his beer, one hand still on your thigh. Why the fuck am I sat in the middle? You hadn't thought about it when you'd sat down but now realise it was a massive mistake and also subconsciously the perfect place for you. The playing piece in a match against brothers, only one player is unaware there is any contest at all.

Chris finishes his beer and puts it down on the table loudly, filling the awkward silence between you all. You can understand the awkwardness between you and Chris but why is Liam not speaking? He wanted to see Chris to figure out what was wrong with him but he's not asking any questions. Has he figured it out? Did he see Chris touch your hand earlier? Had he seen you both whispering? You wriggle in your chair, feeling deadly uncomfortable and hoping Chris would move his hand. He didn't take the hint.

"Do you want another?" Liam asks Chris, already getting up from his chair and not waiting for an answer. Something is definitely wrong. Chris's hand moves further up your thigh, grazing the lace of your panties with the tip of his long finger. He's also completely oblivious to your awkwardness, drinking too much is numbing his senses and becoming dangerous. He's playing with fire. 

You fling your chair back from the table, standing abruptly, your cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and nervousness.

"I'm just gunna get some more beers from the basement." Liam announces, Chris sat cooly in his chair with not an ounce of nervousness.

"It's ok I'll go, you guys have a chat." You say, desperately needing to escape for a minute to catch your breath.

"Don't be silly, it'll only take me a minute." Liam says, already walking towards the door.

Chris takes his cue again, standing from his chair and moving over to you. Standing closely so he can whisper in your ear, his arm pressed to the small of your back while he holds you against him.

"I can't wait to have you in my bed again tomorrow Y/N. I've waited too long." 

"Chris, shh." 

"No, you shh. I wish I had you now, right here. I could just sit you up on this counter and fuck you right here -" He moves his hand up your skirt, gripping your ass in his big hands. "- You want that don't you? Tell me." His teeth graze the skin on your neck, making your head hang back loosely. You want it so bad, all your tension melts away as your muscles relax in his arms.

"We've got all weekend Chris, we can't do this here. It's too risky." You sigh, carefully wrapping your arms around his neck and listening for any sign of Liam.

"Fuck I know but it's so hard being here with you and not being able to fucking touch you." He moves away from you, running his hand though his hair in frustration.

"I told you how hard it'd be." You say.

"How hard what would be?" Liam asks breathlessly. Fuck. You hadn't heard him coming back, how much more had he heard? 

You're lost for words, completely frozen in shock. If he hadn't heard or seen anything it was still way too close for your liking.

"To shoot this ball of foil into that bin from all the way over here." Chris replies hastily, you're incredibly impressed with his quick thinking.

"Let me have a go then." Liam says, taking the foil from Chris. Typical competive brothers. Chris turns to you and winks devilishly, you're perfectly aware of how desirable he looks but you try to push that thought aside. You can't be thinking about that, the things he had just been saying and the thrill of almost being caught, all at once. 

"My turn." You say raising your eyebrows at them both as you swing your hips, confidently over to the fridge. Chris bites his lip as he watches you walk over. "Watch and learn boys." This is quite possibly the strangest situation you've ever been in but you might as well make the most of it.

You shoot your shot and land the foil ball straight into the bin. Turning around and bowing, you're wide eyed when you straighten back up. They both moved towards you as if they were going to kiss you, luckily Chris stopped himself in time.

"Only you could've landed that shot." Liam says, picking you up in his arms, leaving you with no choice but to wrap your legs around him while he kisses your lips deeply. 

You risk a glance at Chris over Liam's shoulder and he's seething with anger, you can see it written all over his face. 

"I'm gunna go outside for some air." Chris announces blankly while Liam sets you back on the ground, a look of concern on his face.

"You alright bro?" Liam asks with no reply from Chris as he walks out of the door.

You get on with the cleaning up, distracting yourself and hoping Liam hadn't noticed Chris' reaction. You can sense Liam behind you, stood on the spot thinking. He's working it out, he's putting together all the pieces and finally working it out.

"I've worked out what's wrong with Chris." He comes up behind you, emptying the plates into the trash. Fuck, here we go.

"What do you mean?" You ask gently, not really wanting to hear his conclusion.

"You know, the reason why he's been moping about all the time." You don't turn around, you just listen, hiding your face and any reaction you're showing. "Well he's quite obviously jealous of us." He adds. There we go, he's worked it out or he's definitely worked out Chris' part in it all.

You felt your stomach drop, Chris was so obvious it wouldn't take a genius to see something was wrong.

"What makes you say that?" You press, carefully. Your back still turned to Liam while you clean the surfaces.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice how he just acted when I kissed you." Of course you noticed, you just hoped Liam hadn't. It won't be long until he puts all the pieces together and figures this all out, if he hasn't already. You pour the last of the bottle of wine into your glass, gulping it greedily. Lord knows you're going to need it.

"He needs a girlfriend, can't you fix him up with one of your friends?" You can't describe the relief you feel right now and a small twang of jealousy at the thought of Chris with one of your friends.

"I'm sure your brother isn't short of admirers Liam, he doesn't need me to fix him up" Your tone of voice was a little too short. Pull it together.

"I suppose you're right but he doesn't have the best taste in women does he?" You can feel your cheeks burning, you're fighting the urge to defend yourself. Telling Liam his brother had the same taste in women when it came to you, wouldn't go down quite so well would it? 

"I'm seeing someone actually Liam." Chris says, overhearing your conversation as he came back in after finally composing himself.

"Oh really? You never said." Liam asks curiously.

"Yeah, we're keeping it to ourselves for now... Until she tells her boyfriend." What the actual fuck? You can't believe he's just said that, he looks at you defiantly, completely over this whole thing.

Liam nearly spat his drink out and you're sure your cheeks are beetroot red, you don't have a clue what to do in this situation. 

"Is she married? Do I know her?" Liam questions further. You're hoping and praying he stops with the questions, Chris is ready and willing to come clean, you can tell by his expression.

"No not married but you do know her. You know her really well actually." Chris says while avoiding your gaze purposefully...

[kurlyfrasier]

Terrified: Part 4

Raph x Reader

Synopsis: Raph saves you from ruffians one night in an alley after watching out for you for weeks without you knowing. Which leads you to getting to know the guys and becoming part of the family. But Raph keeps a distance and you don’t understand why. 

Word Count: 1708

Warnings: None

I woke up later than intended- much later, as in waking in the afternoon later- red-eyed and weary from the tears shed the night before. I had decided, once I had calmed down enough to think beyond losing the boys- most especially Raph- that tonight would be my last movie night. At least, for a while. I also planned on telling them they need not walk me home after work. Granted, I had no idea how I planned on convincing them that they weren’t needed. 

Maybe I could tell them I’m moving? Getting a new job?

I sighed, looking into the mirror. If tonight was going to be my last night seeing Ra- them, then I would make the most of it. I decided I would look my best, without looking desperate...hopefully. Sadly, this meant I did not get to start my new book since l only had about an hour until Mikey would be here to pick me up. Yet another reason to stop burdening the boys. Regretting the fact that I wouldn’t get to wear pajamas like I usually do on movie nights, I trudged to my closet.

A little over an hour later Mikey found me in the middle of brushing just a tad bit of make-up on; to cover up my red-rimmed eyes. 

“Whoa angelcakes,” he drawled once I stepped out of the bathroom, eyeing my long, fitted sweater dress- because it gets cold in the lair- and warm leggings with comfortable Chuck Taylors. 

See? Not desperate. Comfy.

“Raph is gonna lov-” He stopped himself short when I gave him a quizzical look. “I mean, you look hot, dudette. Got any plans tonight?” he wiggled, what one would call, his eyebrows, erupting a giggle out of me. 

“Only to hang out with my besties, that’s all,” I shrugged, grabbing my phone, hoping he wouldn’t comment about my not-so-usual outfit once we got to the lair. I really did not want it made more obvious than it already is.

“Sounds like the best plan, but are you sure you don’t wanna bring pj’s for after?”

“I’m sure, Mikey,” I smiled reassuringly up at him as he plucked me up out of the window and onto the roof. “These are just as comfortable as pajamas, promise.”

“Okay then, let’s go,” he helped me onto his shell. “Can’t wait to beat you in a new racing game I got,” he hopped from roof to roof, holding me tight. I couldn’t help but compare his smaller, bulky size to Raph. I don’t think I would have been able to hold on to his shell quite as well.

“You’re on, man. But don’t come crying to me when you lose.”

He barked out a laugh and we stayed silent until we got to the man-hole cover.

“Hey, angelcakes,” Mikey started sheepishly when we got to the bottom of the ladder, scratching the back of his neck. “I wanted to ask…”

“Yeah?” I gave him an encouraging smile.

“Did somethin’ spook you last night?” He blurted out.

“No,” I furrowed my brows, confused about where this is coming from. Unless…

“Raph said you were running for your life after you got off the subway. I just wanted to make sure everything is okay.”

“Oh,” I tried thinking of an excuse, averting my gaze. “I just didn’t want to be a burden, is all.”

Not a complete lie.

“A burden?” He looked shocked as I turned toward their home and started walking that way, hoping to hide my despondency. “You’re not a burden, angelcakes! Besides, before that night in the alley, Raph was already-”

I stopped in my tracks as Mikey sauntered ahead.

“I mean, we like making sure you're okay. We don’t want a repeat of that night we first met,” he continued rambling, but I wasn’t listening. I wanted to know what he was gonna say about Raph. After a few steps he realized I wasn’t next to him anymore. “Come on, Y/n. Don’t want ya to get lost.”

I nodded, unwilling to ask my question as we continued our trek to the lair. I took a deep, calming breath to brace myself before entering the living room area where I knew Splinter, the wonderful father that he is, would be prepping for homemade pizza. Donnie had made an old brick oven not long ago and built it directly underneath a grate above that they only opened when baking pizza so the smoke would have an escape. I found it ingenious because now they could have pizza whenever they wanted. Which was always. A small smile formed at the thought.

Not five steps in and Raph blocked my path, arms crossed as he assessed me for injuries. I stared straight into his chest, unable to meet his all-seeing gaze. He would know something was wrong the moment we made eye contact, he always did.

“Bro, she’s fiiiine,” Mikey sang, lightly punching Raph’s shoulder as he walked by. “I would never let anything happen to her. She is my precious sister, after all.”

Raph ignored him, grunting in approval with a curt nod before walking away. Allowing me to breathe again, not realizing I had held my breath in the first place.

~~~~~~~~~~

Raph was anxious to see you. He had been attempting to work it off all day, to no avail. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw you, standing in front of him, looking small, keeping your thoughts to yourself. 

He growled in frustration, clenching his hands into fists. If only he knew what had you so utterly shattered last night.

He needed to see you.

He needed to know you were safe.

Raph breathed out a sigh of relief when he heard you and Mikey coming, but stopped short when he saw what you were wearing. Vaguely, he wondered where you had come from to be looking so good. That red sweater stuck to your form as if it was painted on. It may have covered almost every inch of skin from your thighs up, but it hardly left room for the imagination. Thos leggings did the same.

Where were your baggy pj’s?

Robotically, he blocked your path to determine if you had been hurt. Really though, it was all a ruse. He just wanted to have a good look at you. He crossed his arms over his chest to keep himself from holding you close. The fact that you wouldn’t meet his gaze had his blood running cold. You always at least gave him a tentative glance and a smile. Next to him, Mikey said something about you being his precious sister, but all he could think was that you were his precious everything. He didn’t even feel his brother’s light punch as he walked by.

He grunted as if saying “that’ll do” and walked away, wishing he knew what was wrong. Wishing he could make it all better.

“I’m gonna go help Donnie with something before we play, okay Mikey?” You spoke barely above a whisper before heading to Donnie’s lab. 

The moment you were out of sight he rounded on Mikey. “So wha’ didya find out?” he growled in in his face.

“Nothin’, bro!” Mikey held his hands up in surrender, backing away. “She said something like not wanting to be a burden. I don’t know. She was kinda quiet though. I barely got her to smile.”

“But nothin’ ‘bout wha’ scared her?” he asked low, peeking around to make sure you hadn’t decided to come back.

“Nadda. Just said she didn’t wanna be a burden. I told her she’s not. That we like takin’ her home, but,” he paused when he noticed Raph shaking, stiff as a board. “Uh-oh…”

Raph stomped away toward Donnie’s lab, barely able to comprehend what Mikey was telling him. 

You? A burden?

Never.

He planned on shaking you to your senses until he heard what you were saying to Donnie.

“...gonna take some self-defense classes so you guys don’t have to walk me home anymore. What do you think?”

Raph leaned against the wall, going to a whole new level of low with eavesdropping. He decided it was worth it if he could figure out what was wrong.

“We could teach you,” Donnie offered offhandedly. “Besides, we like taking you home. We can actually have a conversation as we protect you.”

“Nah, you guys are busy as it is,” you paused. “Plus, I don’t want to bother you guys even more.”

“What are you talking about, Y/n?” Something clattered, a sign that you have Donnie’s full attention. “You’re no bother. Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened,” you sighed before continuing quietly. “I just- I might be getting another job-”

“You’re a terrible liar, you know that, right?” Donnie chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Is this about last night? I heard you were running from something.”

“Ugh! I wanted to get home faster! That’s all,” you fumed, stomping a foot, demanding why the boys kept asking you about last night.

“We’re worried, Y/n,” Donnie stated calmly. “You spend a lot of time with us. That could make you a target. Especially if anyone figures out how much you mean to Ra- uh… us.”

“Fine,” you seethed. “I’ll stop hanging out with you guys, then. That way nobody will have to worry about my safety.”

Donnie’s call for you fell on deaf ears as Raph snuck into the darkened room across from the lab, your steps echoed down the hall. He sunk low in the shadows and held his head close to his knees, eyes shut tight in a sad attempt to keep the tears from flowing freely. He couldn’t breathe. His heart felt as though it were being shattered into a million pieces.

You were leaving? The thought ricocheted through his brain.

What had happened to bring this about? Everything was fine until last night.

Maybe someone got to you already? The thought had his blood boiling. Allowed him to breathe. He had a purpose; to find out what happened in the ten minutes you were on the subway. He was determined to keep you close. Keep you safe. No matter the cost. Even if he had to lock you in his room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 5

[eisukevint]

Could you maybe do one of mc and Eisuke people watching? If it's not too much trouble. Pretty please? :)

Okay first I would like to say shame on me because I took so long. I’ve been so busy with school and didn’t have time to do anything. And its pretty bad so i’m sorry before hand if you don’t like it.

MINE

(Eisuke Ichinomiya)

All the pent up rage was laden in that one kiss. The onlookers goggled with their jaws hanging low as Eisuke claimed me as his right then and there.

______________

It felt like it’s been ages since me and Eisuke went out on a pleasant day. Our extremely busy schedules restrained us from seeing each other for two whole weeks even though we live in the same penthouse. The giddy bounce in my step was much too obvious but I just couldn’t help it. Eisuke was to return an hour later so I took my sweet time getting ready.

Getting dressed in an off white knee length dress, I did my makeup at a minimum level which surfaced my natural beauty. Just as I was about to slip on my heels, the door to our bedroom opened and Eisuke barged in.

“Emily are you ready t-

He stopped mid sentence as soon as his eyes landed on me. He shamelessly looked me up from head to toe. That was enough to tell me I did right going with this outfit.

He took measured steps in my direction till he was close enough to whisper and his luscious lips were on my left ear.

“I know we’re supposed to go out but I don’t want those leeches to see you when you look this magnificent.” He said as he pulled away with a sly smirk.

I swear to god, this guy is gonna be the death of me. My cheeks glowed a deep shade of red as Eisuke casually took of his jacket to quickly change into some other clothes.

“Will you ever stop teasing me?” I asked to which he chuckled and replied

“Never”

~~

We had a pleasurable afternoon with lunch at a classic french restaurant and later on, we took a stroll in the botanical gardens not far from there.

Everything was going absolutely perfect until Eisuke got a call from one of his business partners. Or should I say soon to be as he’s been trying to get him to comply to the conditions he presented. After Eisuke ended the call, he came back with a sour face.

“What is it?” I inquired from him but he just stared at his phone.

“Do you remember I told you about a guy who i’m trying to negotiate with?”

“Uh huh?” I nodded a bit confused.

“Well he wants to close the deal. He invited me to his nightclub” He said looking up from his phone.

Uh oh. I’ve got a bad feeling about this..

“And he wants me to bring you along. Do you want to go?” It was really kind of him to ask me if I was alright with it but I wanted to go with him. Because the name he gave me was more of a strip club and no way is my going there alone. It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s those slags I don’t want around him.

It was almost eight in the evening when we arrived to the club in Eisuke’s limo. He helped me straighten my disheveled clothes. His fault after all. I pity the driver sometimes. Grabbing Eisuke’s hand I got out of the car as he led me in.

The fetid stench of sweaty bodies swaying with the deafening music on the dance floor made my head spin. Eisuke’s hand which was clasped in mine up until now moved to my waist as he pulled my body flush towards his.He scrunched up his nose in repugnance as a guy came up to us, maybe the manager who took us to a private room around the back of the bar.

To say the state of the area was terrible would be an understatement. The room reeked of strong liquor mixed with sickening sweet perfume. In the middle of it all was a fairly old ‘middle’ aged guy surrounded by practically naked women.

“Eisuke! How are you my man?” They shook hands as they exchanged greetings.

“And this must be your girlfriend?” Asked the business associate.

“Fiancee to be exact.” His choice of words really made my heart go whoosh.

Taking a seat in a far corner of the L-shaped sofa, whiskeys were served to us. The guy was checking me out knowing full well Eisuke was right behind me.

“I’d really appreciate it we you would keep your eyes to yourself Mr. Hoskins.” Eisuke spoke out noticing my discomfort.

“Oh no no. You got it wrong. I was just noting you indeed caught yourself a beauty.” He said winking. The nerve of this guy. Eisuke’s hands tightened around my waist as the fake grin on his face started to twitch.

‘It’s just a matter of two hours Eisuke and then we get out of this place’

Half an hour later, I excused myself to go to the restroom. Although Eisuke was reluctant to let me go alone, I managed to slip past all the flunkies.

On my way back, I saw Mr. Hoskins leaning on the wall beside the bar. With a cigarette in his hand, he turned his head towards me as he heard my footsteps.

“Ah Miss...Hiwatari right? I’ve been waiting for you.” He stood straight and moved towards me.

“Why would Mr.Hoskins possibly wait for me?” With his every step forward, I took a step back until my back hit the wall.

“You see the moment I laid my eyes on you, I was mesmerised. You’re so hot, it bothers me. Say, leave that bastard Eisuke and come with me. You’ll have everything you desire. Dresses, jewels, money, you name it.” He kept going on and on unashamedly as he got closer.

“I don’t fucking need anything from you. Get the heck away from me” I tried pushing him away but he was too overweight. He had roughly grabbed my arms, so much that it hurt.

“Oh you seem like one obedient bitch. How would that brute feel if I did this?” The instant I screamed, someone peeled the guy off of me.

Like a knight in shining armour, Eisuke punched him right in the guts, since he failed to maintain his balance, he reeled backwards, straight into the crowd of people lounging outside the bar.

Red. I’m pretty sure that’s all Eisuke could see in that moment. Seething with fury, He grabbed him by his collar and landed a punch straight in his face. With another kick to his back, Eisuke spat endless curses at him.

“That’s my fucking fiancee you son of a bitch. How dare you fucking force yourself on her? You’re not even worth my spit.” He lost control of himself like a raging beast. I’ve never seen him like this, to be honest, it scared me a bit. Hoskins face was bloodied up.

I rushed to his side to calm him down. I looked him dead in the eyes as he seemed to realise it was me. As if coming back to his senses, he took me in his arms and kissed me hard.

He kissed me. Right then and there. In front of all the clubbers. The kiss got more intense as be refused to let go. Gradually I wrapped my hands behind his head and pulled him close forgetting all about the world around us. Panting hard, we parted once again realising we were not alone.

Eisuke looked down at the tosser laying on the floor holding his bloody face.

“You’re fucking dead Ichinomiya.” He spit out the words to which Eisuke scoffed.

“Oh you think I don’t know about your shady business. You’ll hopefully get your divorce papers tomorrow.”

All of a sudden, Eisuke scooped me up in his arms leaving everything behind and carried me out of the hell hole ignoring hoskins rants.

The ride back to the penthouse was painfully silent. Taking the private elevator, we reached our suite. We were not even through the door completely when Eisuke backed me to the wall and smashed his lips onto mine with full force. Moving his lips in sync with mine, he sneaked his hands under the hem of my dress going higher and higher everytime we pulled away to gasp for air.

“Where did he touch you?” The sudden question caught me off guard.

“What....?”

“I said-

He pinched my inner thigh.

“Where did he touch you?” He asked me again, breathless.

“He didn’t.... he just grabbed my arms”. I managed to squeeze out a reply as he continued his assault on my bottom.

Lowering his voice to a whisper he spoke,

“He had the fucking audacity to touch what’s mine.”

In a flash, he took off my dress.

“He’ll regret it for a lifetime.” And then he proceeded to take off his.

Taking me to the bedroom, he threw me onto the bed and climbed on top of me. In the blink of an eye, his lips were on my cheeks, dragging them to my lips.

“Your lips. They’re mine.”

I moaned into his mouth and the sensation seemed to fuel his need for me even more. Moving lower he took one of my nipple in his mouth and tugged and nipped at it.

“Your body is mine.”

All the while rubbing my clit in a circular motion, he muttered,

“Your soul, mine.”

His golden eyes lured me into their depth as I kept falling.

“Even your heart belongs to me. As you are MINE, I am yours and yours alone. You’re the keeper of my heart so keep it safe with you.”

The profound love for me flowing through him made me swell and all the shyness I was feeling up until now flew out the window as we became one and together we indulge ourselves in a spiral of pure bliss seeking each other’s deepest desires.

I swear i’m better than this.

[sunpopp]

All Bark All Bite 2 (Drabble)

[tw// blood, very much depressing. enjoy @zeverits 😘]

The club is just what one would expect; loud, seedy, and packed full of people who were either flinging their bodies around in jerky, uncoordinated movements and calling it 'dancing', or making out with such aggression that anyone who didn't look hard enough would think they were tearing at each other's faces. Pink and blue strobe lights swing around wildly, surprisingly complimenting to the theme of red neon pillars and black bar tables as you move further into the ocean of people; stuffy and humid, hard to weave through to the drinking booths at the back, yet you manage to find exactly who you're looking for.

"And here I thought I'd never find you," you deadpan, once you find yourself standing before him with a hand resting on your hip.

You don't think Changkyun could've looked more dumbfounded. The expression made your stomach flip with satisfaction; eyes wider than antique dinner plates and jaw slightly ajar as his mind seemingly whirred. He looked extremely handsome, unsurprisingly, sporting the slightly popped wine button-up and black dress pants, complete with intricately-designed silver rings which fit onto his bony fingers beautifully, even if you hated to say it. A shame you don't get to take more of him in, for he's already springing out of the empty booth, and reaching for your arm to presumably drag you off somewhere away from the club or bark some bullshit you've already heard a million times before. Yet, you seize the opportunity to flip the tables by instead flicking your hand around to get a grip on his wrist before promptly dragging him back towards the dancefloor.

Changkyun's surprised by the action, going by the way he stumbles all the way to the open space you stop at and getting his protests out through a quivering lip. Nervous, you realize. Changkyun, is nervous. How funny, you think as you slide your hands up his clothed arms, smoothing over the painfully familiar muscle of his biceps before locking your hands behind the nape of his neck.

"What the hell are you doing here!?" He half whisper, half yells.

"Me? Oh, I'm just here to warn you out of the kindness of my heart, of course," the words slither sour and cool from between your lips like thick billows of sarin, the hairs on Changkyun's neck standing up at the sheer amount of threat coming from your throat as you lean in to brush your nose against the shell of his ear, hips swaying to the music and trying to blend in with the crowd, "Because I'm quite sure you're not aware of how this place will be busted open and shot up in three...," You lean back, detaching yourself from Changkyun's front.

"Two..," you grin, sliding a pistol from out the holster on your hip, hidden from view by the black nylon bomber jacket you wear, "one."

........

"Why the fuck did you even come here if it was just to warn me!? Goddamnit- Drive faster, come on!" Changkyun throws a harsh punch to the back of the car seat, causing the driver, a presumable close friend of his that you'd seen accompany him at parties and gatherings, Hyungwon you think, to huff and step harder on the gas pedal. He turns back to you, face stricken with something between desperation and flat out anger, an expression you'd never seen before.. well... This.

You let out a groan, looking back at your hands, wrapped tightly around your midsection, and take them away to see how had it is.

It's... Bad. Very bad.

Two bullet holes line your stomach, the injuries open and gushing thick bouts of blood everytime you dare take in a breath, which rattles your lungs with dizzying pain at the tension around your injuries. Huge blotches of crimson red stain your tank top, and before you can assess just how much it'd ruined your outfit, of all things, you remember that Changkyun is in the middle of yelling at you.

"What the hell were you thinking!? You could've texted me o-or called someone, why would you-"

"I wanted to help you." You sigh, a cough bubbling up the lining of your throat, and when you let it out, a spew of blood follows. Perfect, you think. You're getting blood everywhere. And while that should be the last thing on your mind, considering you feel your eyes fluttering with every blink, you can't help but frown in distaste at the familiar copper tang filling your mouth, "I had this weird urge to go down with you if the heist for the gang who got the jump on us were to kill you. But it's not really weird now, is it?" You chuckle. More gore spills against your shirt, and Changkyun rushes to cover both your hands with his own, his breathing heavy, "Because that's what people feel when they like someone in that way. You, Mister," You manage a red smile, "Wouldn't understand that."

"Don't fucking say that." Changkyun seethes, eyes turning puffy as tears, twinkling like little stars in the streetlight that shine through the windows, stream down his cheeks. His face twists with the effort to not start crying, but it's obvious that he wants to. Needs to. He sniffles, "It was part of my job, don't you understand? You should know better than anyone that you have to carry things out, no questions asked.. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, but please don't die on me like this." You feel his hands shake uncontrollably against the seams of your closed fingers, "Please...?"

You take a raspy breath and press your forehead gently against Changkyun's. He allows it. His skin is warm, you think.

"You already know how this will end, Changkyun.."

He shakes his head, lips parting to speak again, but you shush him.

"This entire time, I loved you. Isn't that funny? You made me feel. You made me feel, and I hated it. I wasn't supposed to feel yet you didn't care what I was supposed and not supposed to do with myself. I still do. But I didn't deserve that, and you knew it, too." You hum, allowing yourself to take a hand away from your wounds, grunting when you feel the pressure gone and lose more blood, but ignoring it, even if Changkyun gasps and tries to cover you up with his own fingers. You instead use your digits to caress his cheek, smearing red against the skin, but too weak and dizzy to do something about it. Truth be told, you were tired. So, so tired, lids suddenly heavy over your eyes as you focused on Changkyun's, who's are wide and scared. You coo, "But I forgive you now. How could I be mad at you? My sweet boy.... My love..."

"Hey..," His voice trembles in his throat, panicked, "Hey, stay with me...!"

You feel peaceful. Finally, you feel peace, deep in your heart, so warm, like sun coming out from the clouds after weeks of rain and storm. Funny, because you hear the pitter patter of raindrops against the car window. But to you, it's a nice day. Changkyun's progressive yelling becomes background noise as you feel yourself drifting off somewhere quiet, and somber, the last few words you register, along with his hand cupping your dropping head, are "Drive faster, Hyungwon, faster!"

No, there's a few more, actually, but you have to strain what little energy you have left to catch it. It makes you sad.

"Come back... Come back to me! Please, please, not now..."

And then your world goes dark. And it rained, and it rained, and it rained.

[thedreammweaver]

Merry for the First Time (Burton-Schumacherverse au, teenage!riddlebird, angst, hurt/comfort)

Warnings: drug abuse mentions, child abuse/neglect, mention of forced dieting, withholding of food as punishment, planned but not executed filicide

Oswald huffed as he followed after his mother, greatly disliking the fact she’d drug him along to help her with Christmas shopping. She was in the middle of trying to remember something, frazzled as usual from whatever she took to take the edge off when dealing with Oswald. It felt like he was waddling after her forever all across the shopping center but she finally decided to call it a day.

Once they were in the car Esther was anxiously drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. “Can we go home now?” Oswald whined, leaning against the window. Esther cleared her throat “No...you have a doctor’s appointment today.”

Oswald could’ve sworn he felt the world stop turning “No, I don’t.”

Esther was already exasperated “Oswald, please-“

“No!!” Oswald screamed, folding his arms and turning away from his mother. His doctor visits were always tortuous, he got poked and prodded and ridiculed just for the doctor to say he didn’t know what was wrong. Esther gritted her teeth and squeezed the steering wheel before putting on a fake nice voice “If I get you ice cream will you not make my life a living hell for just a few hours?” Oswald pondered what his dignity was worth for a moment before nodding, stubbornly.

Oswald absently fiddled with the hem of his pajamas as he sat in the hallway listening to his parents fight.

“You spoil him too much! That’s why he’s like this!”

“He won’t do anything I say unless I spoil him! You do the same thing!”

“You’re high, Esther.”

“Oh, I’d like to see you try dealing with that thing sober..can barely stand to look at him.”

Unfortunately the all boys school Oswald was forced to attend didn’t let out for winter break. That meant he still had to deal with teasing from his peers over holidays the holiday season. He was sitting by himself in the grass during a break between classes while all of the other boys were together doing whatever ‘normal’ boys did. He was cranky as his father had once again forced him on a diet. Tucker was a little obsessed with trying to ‘correct’ the one thing about Oswald’s appearance that was changeable. He and Esther had looked into surgery for the nose and flippers, much to their dismay there were was seemingly no sum of money that could convince any surgeons in the area to operate on a thirteen year old. Oswald’s mood didn’t improve when he felt a small rock hit his back followed by snickering. It was soon followed by another rock and thenanother. “Hey, lardass!” Oswald recognized the voice as Harvey Dent’s. The boy was an angel in front of teachers but could be quite the bully once out of their eyesight. “Harvey, cut it out.” This voice made Oswald seethe, it was Bruce Wayne. “Shut up, Bruce. You make jokes about him too.”

“I don’t throw rocks at him..”

Oswald knew if he was going to be angry at anyone in the moment it should be Harvey, but there was something about Bruce that infuriated him. The perfect hair, perfect smile, everything about him was too perfect. Everyone had been doting on him since his parents died, if Oswald ever had to hear the words ‘Poor Bruce’ again he thought he might just lose it. He didn’t see the big deal, having parents wasn’t all it was cracked up to be either and Oswald didn’t get any sympathy for that or for anything...everyone was so worried about Bruce. He acted so innocent and good but he treated Oswald just like everyone else did. Without realizing it Oswald had gotten up, something about Bruce made everything in him cry out to rip the other boy to pieces. All Oswald saw was red as he felt himself charging Bruce.

“You put another boy in the hospital, Oswald, do you even care??” Esther asked, exasperated as she tried to focus on driving Oswald home from the lengthy meeting they’d just had with his principal. “It’s just a few broken bones..” Oswald mumbled.

“I really wonder what’s wrong with you sometimes.”

“He was being mean!”

“Oh, trust me, pal. A lot of people are going to be mean to you. You can’t attack everyone for it.”

“Yes, I can...”. Oswald folded his arms.

“Good then you’ll go to jail and I’ll never have to see you again, that’ll be nice.” Esther said spitefully. “Why can’t you just be normal for once???” She sighed “Poor Bruce...” That was it. Oswald didn’t know what came over him but he just started shrieking and kicking the back of Esther’s seat.

Oswald huffed as he laid face down in bed, having been sent there without dinner for his behaviour that day. He was going to try and go to sleep when he heard his window opening and something thumping against the floor. “Ow.” Ed mumbled though he recovered quickly. He giddily came over to Oswald’s bed “Ozzie..” he sing songed softly, pushing on Oswald’s shoulder. Oswald just groaned and moved away. “Oh..you’re in a bad mood, huh?”

Oswald weakly swatted at Ed.

“That’s okay, Ozzie. I still love you.” Ed said, crawling onto the bed to hug the other boy. The kind touch made Oswald’s heart melt. “Oh! I brought you something.” Ed took off the green backpack he had on and rummaged through it for a few seconds before pulling out a tub with a raw fish in it. He slid it over to Oswald who wasted no time in opening the tub and starting to eat it.

Ed looked at him a bit sadly “Your parents didn’t feed you did they?”

“How did you know that?” Oswald asked with his mouth full.

“I heard about you putting Bruce Wayne in the hospital, preppy bastard probably deserved it.”

Oswald shrugged, continuing to eat.

“Did you think about what I said? About running away together?” Ed asked. Oswald paused. “Eddie, I don’t know...”

Ed huffed, and lifted up his sleeve. Oswald’s eyes were immediately drawn to the bruises on Ed’s forearm. “I have them everywhere.” Ed said stoically “I’m leaving no matter what but I’d rather be doing it with you.”

“I-I... okay, I just need some time to think.”

“Please, Ozzie. I don’t wanna spend Christmas by myself...or with my father.” Ed pleaded, laying down in Oswald’s lap.

The next day Oswald was once again listening to his parents bicker, being suspended from school he had little else to do, the sound of them yelling coupled with the feeling of the hard floor under him had become so familiar. The light from the sunset hitting the floor was quite pretty though, so at least he had that to look at. He’d stopped paying attention to what his parents were saying until his father said something that made his blood run cold. “I wish we’d gone through with getting rid of him when he was a baby..”

“Tucker..”

“We were right there on the bridge about to throw him in when you suddenly decided you felt bad for him!”

“You don’t have to yell at me! I wish we’d done it too..”

There was a beat of silence as Oswald listened intently.

“Well...it’s not too late.” Tucker hummed.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Think about it, Essie! We could have the house to ourselves again.. Christmas to ourselves.” Tucker was already daydreaming as he grabbed his wife by the shoulders.

“I- even if we were to do it..I don’t even know how to go about something like that.” Esther mumbled.

“The kid’s a pig, he’ll eat anything, I doubt he’d notice if we slipped something into his supper tonight.”

“We could pay someone to dispose of him and be rid of the body by morning...” Esther was daydreaming as well now.

“I have a better idea. I’ve met with a few ‘collectors’ that would pay a pretty penny to have those flippers in a display case.”

“You’ve been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you, dear?”

“You have no idea.” Oswald’s heart was beating so loud as he snuck back to his room he was almost afraid his parents would hear.

Oswald startled a bit at Ed entering his window. “Hiya, Ozzi-“

“We’re leaving.” Oswald cut the other boy off, he was busily packing a few things into a backpack.

“Why the sudden change of mind?” Ed asked, genuinely curious.

“I heard my parents planning to poison me, they said they would do it tonigh-“

Oswald was cut off by his mother calling him down for dinner, he hurriedly finished his packing. “Do we have to go by your house or are you ready?” He asked, grabbing a coat from his closet and putting it on.

“I’ve been ready for weeks.” Ed answered, gesturing to the backpack he had on his own back everytime he came to visit Oswald. Ed suddenly looked nervous “I haven’t actually thought of where we should go....”

“I have an idea.” Oswald assured, taking Ed’s hand.

Ed shivered as he and Oswald entered the abandoned penguin exhibit in the old zoo. Oswald wrapped his arm around the other boy to share body heat, the cold of the place didn’t phase him too much. “Y-You’ve been here before right?” Ed asked. “Yeah, I was running from those jerks at school when I found it.” Oswald lead Ed deeper into the place. Ed startled when he heard squawking behind them and turned to see a penguin. “Oh, I should’ve mentioned there’s still penguins here.” Oswald chuckled. As Oswald and Ed kept walking the penguin followed curiously for a bit before losing interest. Soon the boys turned a corner and Ed was surprised to see a sort of dwelling in a corner of a long abandoned room. There was a mattress with pillows and blankets on it as well as a lantern and a few books. “I...come here sometimes to get away from everything.” Oswald admitted.

Ed stirred slightly from where he’d been snuggled under Oswald’s arm while the other boy read to him. He could hear bells from a clock in town signaling it was now midnight, Christmas Day. “Merry Christmas, Ozzie.” Ed mumbled, sleepily but happily, sinking back into Oswald. “Merry Christmas, Ed.” Oswald cooed, kissing Ed on the forehead.

[kny-lover-writes]

It was only an Infatuation

!Warning!

Iguro might be a little bit OOC.

Keywords:

(H/C)-Hair Color

(Y/N)-Your Name

~•~•~•~•~•~

He was never one of the people who wants love in their life yet (H/C) colored hair girl pursued him, creating memories with him or so she thought.

Every night the girl would day dream about the boy, thinking what would happen in the future, creating endless imaginations of what could happen, keeping her awake until she fell asleep.

Everytime she would be around the wind pillar, she smiled brightly as her fellow Pillars looked at her, their eyes full of worry, it was an understatement if she say that she didn't befriended everyone including the water and snake pillar. Everytime they would see her, she would only follow the wind pillar around like a lost puppy.

They knew it was bad for her, it was too unhealthy for her, they tried to tell the girl off, but the girl ignored their pleas and continued pursuing the short tempered boy, out of her unhealthy unconditional love.

She was living under a love sick spell that she can't seem to break. Stuck to love the short tempered boy, unable to leave her unhealthy love to the boy.

The pillars never understood why the (P/N) pillar even liked the boy. Sanemi was very compulsive and short tempered as (Y/N) she was the exact opposite of the boy, she was sweet, nice and caring which intruiged them towards her loving nature, befriending them along the way.

One day (Y/N) messed up causing Sanemi to finally burst out of anger. "Can't you just shut up?" (Y/N) flinched at his tone. "What??" The girl stuttered as Sanemi finally snapped at her. "Look! I don't care about what you want to get from me, but whatever it is! It won't do any good! Alright?! You just keep on pestering me everyday with all your fantasies about love! Can't you see I'm the only person I need?!"

The girl stood there too shocked at his words, soon tears finally fell to her flushed cheeks. "I see... I'm sorry to bother you all this time... I got to go."

Running away, the girl cried as the memories she made with him suddenly flashed through her mind, making her bump to the snake pillar.

"Watch where you're going- Oh." Iguro looked at (Y/N) who was full on crying. Not knowing what to do, he only hugged her as he pat her head awkwardly. "There, there... It's ok, just let it all out..." And with that the girl cried into his arms as his companion snaked around her neck, as if it was giving her a hug.

"I'm so stupid." The girl hiccuped, now this caught the snake pillar's attention. "Why do you say so?" "I'm so stupid for thinking that me and Sanemi might be together."

"I see..."

It pained the snake pillar to see the girl he likes follow around Sanemi who didn't even acknowledged her presence, it did hurt him but since he respects her happiness he let her go and gave her to Sanemi. And it seems like it was a bad idea.

"I knew I should've gone against it."

Now it was the (P/N) pillar's turn to look at him. "What do you mean Iguro-san?"

"I know this isn't the right time to tell you this but... I love you (Y/N)."

"Iguro-san..." (Y/N) looked at him abashed.

"I know you don't feel the same way, so please give me a chance to prove myself to you." Iguro looked at her with pure sincerity and hope, that made her eyes water.

"I... I don't understand... Why? Why do you love me?" The girl pulled away from Iguro as she casted her eyes behin her hair.

"You're more than what you think you are (Y/N), I'm not good with words, but please let me show you within a month." The girl had thought of it, but she couldn't ever put Iguro in pain because of her selfish actions, but as if Iguro read her mind, he quickly added. "I don't care if I get hurt, just please.."

"A-alright then..."

And with that Iguro's mission has started, he started his mission by hanging out with her more, and this caught the other pillar's attention. "(Y/N) and Iguro seems to be close" "Yeah! Iguro-san seems softer to (Y/N) and (Y/N)-chan doesn't even seem to follow Sanemi anymore!" It irked Sanemi hearing this. 'Tsk, who cares.'

Within the given month, Iguro had took (Y/N) on dates, doing missions together, hanging out, tending each other's wounds, and little by little, (Y/N) fell in love with the snake pillar as she slowly forgotten her feelings for the wind pillar, as for Sanemi, he would always look back and saw no one there. He was used to (Y/N)'s presence near him, she may be rambling about her day or how her mission go, or she would just give him gifts or just a smile. Unknowingly he missed her, he missed her so much that it was unbearable for him.

One day, on their pillar meeting, Sanemi saw (Y/N) with Iguro once again. They seemed to be planning something as they called every Hashira's attention. "Um... I have an announcement to make." (Y/N) smiled nervously as Mitsuri gave her a big thumbs up. "You can do it!" (Y/N) looked at Iguro as he nodded. "We're officially together!" Everyone congratulated the two except for Sanemi, he was far too shocked at the fact that, (Y/N) is now Iguro's lover. Enraged he attacked Iguro. "Huh?! What do you mean you're together?!" Sanemi seethed in anger and disbelief. "Sanemi! Stop it!"

Sanemi looked back and saw (Y/N) rush to Iguro's side as he was held back away from them. "What have I ever done to you?! I tried to make you happy! And you told me yourself that by leaving you, you would be happy! Why can't you do the same?! Look what I felt for you before? It's all gone now, Iguro proved me that what I felt for you was only infatuation not love! Okay?! I finally opened up my eyes and saw that there, there was nothing but infatuation!" (Y/N) cried in anger.

"After all it's all your fault that you lost me."

[ducknotinarow]

4. [Richard/Bailey] “I love you so much, you have no idea to what limits i’d go, to prove that to you.” |word count 1,668 | @aflockoffeathers

NSFW content: Yandere themes, injuries, car accidents, violence. Alcohol mentioned 

a/n  Don’t hurt his rooster, more Richard in this one since the nugget got hurt

--

Richard had been in this place before, coming into the hospital to the sight of Bailey resting in one of the rooms. Though not so late in the night when visitors were not really allowed in. His heart unsettled and heavy  when walking into their room. Looking at how they were propped up on the bed with a good pile of pillows behind their back, well he did always like being comfortable, Richard thought as he entered the room. The only noise came from them as they rested and the machine in the room. Richard took a seat on the side of the bed and looked Bailey over. Part of him was aware that it wasn’t that bad but staring at the cast on his leg, broken femur,  made his eyes narrow down at it. There were some signatures on it from two other visitors already likely Sue and Val but it was too dark to see, but it was a pretty easy guess to make. Eyes trailing up their body, left arm in a brace and sling, dislocated shoulder, also a brace around their neck, due to damage from whiplash. It was a miracle they were only like this.

Richard scoffed at that. 

Bruises dark enough to show over feathers and a shiner on his right eye. Feathers were a mess, Bailey likely was upset about that alone. Softly resting pain medicine seemed to be working to keep him comfortable. He was going to be fine but would need to stay in the hospital for some time. Before getting to be discharged even after that these wounds would take time to heal. That made Rihard seethe with anger the most. What was worse was the reason behind it all. Bailey was in a car accident and rear ended the other driver. Only Bailey got hurt though, but the crash was on him still.  

“Who hurt you?” was all Richard simply asked of them. No answer of course, Richard stood up and looked around the room he needed to find their phone. Eye light up a moment when he finally came across it on the side table, he unlocked it and went through it. Didn’t take long to get to where he needed. A text message conversation between the two, to sort out the exchange of information. Richard glared at the screen this person seemed fishy from the messages. Bailey was too nice he wouldn’t pick up on all of this, back tracking on injuries. Gaslighting here and there, scrolling up and down Richard could pick out some conflicting and troubling responses, but Bailey was easily tricked by them. This person was up to something. 

Richard put Bailey’s phone back down then looked back to them. The sight made his blood boil, how could anyone cause harm to his Bailey. Oh don’t worry though Richard wasn going to find out what was really going and handle it. He led down and placed a kiss to Bailey’s forehead.

They stirred a bit in their sleep from the contact, slowly opening their eyes. Bailey simply smiled at him and tried to speak up. But Richard stopped him. Bailey needed to rest, that was the more important thing right now, but if Bailey spoke he might prevent Richard from doing what he needed to. When it came to Bailey Richard melted, if Bailey asked him to stay he would. He couldn't risk it now. No Richard was going to handle this no one would hurt Bailey, make a fool of him or take advantage of them.

“I know I wasn’t here earlier to see you, don’t worry I’ll be back soon.” Richard smiled darkly gently nuzzling their cheek to give a bit of affection, he knew that wasn’t enough for them but it would have to do for now 

He looked at them with a familiar dark look but different. Not fueled by love not this look that shimmered in Ricard’s eyes was more from a need to protect. It was the last thing he said to Bailey before leaving. No matter how hard it was to leave them behind like that he knew how needy and lonely they could be without him. Richard would have to make it up to them later. But for now he had someone else to meet.

---

“Ha, get this the light was red so I got outta my car to take a whizz. Light on 36 always takes forever to change right. Just my luck, some dude wrecks his car. Hit a pole and bump my car. The idiot though he hurt me though, that rich rooster guy so I decided ya know what let's milk this. He’s got all the cash to burn. After all, why not get someone for myself?” They laughed proud of themself for their scheme. “Told him we can handle it between us doesn't seem to notice my slips up here and there when I tell him about my damage and own injuries. Since we didn’t get cops involved no one even knows that the damage came from the pole he hit.” They just shrug pleased with themselves. “Isn’t that just hilarious? Bout time, some rich dude gets what is coming to them.”  They say looking across the table from them.

It was close to the last call in this small little bar, more a hole in the wall but that seemed fitting for someone like them to be spending their time at. Couple drinks and they were bragging about their little scheme for an easy buck. Hard not to when the golden eagle across from them kept providing drink after drink. It was easy to go for, free alcohol after all. 

“Yes I agree.” Richard said “He deserves everything coming for him.” he smirked under his words. Because of course he meant something different, from his opposite. 

The bartender let them know it was time to go, the man groaned he wanted more to drink. Richard was quick to suggest keeping things going with him. In private. There was no room for rejection, they were enjoying the company of the eagle. Getting alone seemed even better so they agreed happily leaving with Richard as they followed their lead.

“So tell me what injuries did you say you received from the crash?” Richard asked calmly.

They pondered a moment “heck I kind of keep forgetting but that idiot dosen’t seem to notice. Hmm whiplash forsure since I can fake that if I gotta. Said my back got all jacked up as well, my I think I said I broke my arm too least those are the one I kept track of can’t recall what I said at first decided to up the injuries a bit get some sympathy too.” they bragged. 

Just following behind the eagle not aware where they were being led to. Happy to brag about what he was getting away with. Richard though, despite how quite he kept it oh he was passed a breaking point. As he walked down into an alley his guest all unaware. Smiling to himself as he stopped suddenly they bump into him finally taking a moment to bother and see where they were.

“Is that all uh? Mm I feel we can make that worse” Richard voice cold despite the smile on his face. Turning around those amber eyes pricing the night air. “You want to have a convincing story after all don’t you?”

“Wha?” they didn’t get to finish that thought 

Richard grabbed them by the collar of their shirt and slammed them back against the cold brick wall, their head knocking against the wall making them hiss in back. “No then why don’t we make your tale ture and give you every injury you lied about? Doesn't that sound fair to you?” Richard asked, nearly purring in delight  the stare in his eyes had biome crazed. Because all he could see was the image of his Bailey in that dreaded hospital. Truth be told, Richard hated hospitals everytime he was in one; it wasn’t good. Now his beloved was in one again.

And Richard couldn’t be with him. Bailey was in pain. Bailey was alone. All because of this person, yet what made him even more mad was them calling Bailey an idiot. Richard took hold of their wrist and twisted their arm as far as it could go. The image of Bailey’s cast flashed in his mind. “I wonder if anyone will bother to sign yours? Why don’t we find out?” Pupils had shrunken  and a laugh escaped him. “Well we're at it I’ll let you know the injuries he is dealing with as well.” A quick twist to their arm so Richard could grab on to their forearm with his free hand slowly adding the pressure to the bone. The snap that came was a pleasant sound almost as good as the scream that followed.

-----

A shift in the bed as Bailey looked over finding Richard scribbling on to the cast. “Morning love.” Richard greeted. “Are you feeling more rested today?” He followed up with. Putting the pen away once he was done writing what he wanted to. “Hope you don’t mind I peeked at your phone seems the fellow you went into the wreck with realized his car didn’t get by much he was out of it but remembered you hit a traffic light pole instead. Too much alcohol in his system at the time. Isn’t it nice of him to come forward about that?” Richard simply asked them “And you'll be able to leave soon so ill make up the lack of love you haven’t been able to get. You'll need to take it easy still though. Hopefully just attentiveness will be enough for now for you.” Richard smiled at Bailey leaning over to give them a peck on the check. 

“I love you so much, you have no idea to what limits i’d go to prove that to you.” He whispered softly to them.

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather Chapter 33: New York

June, 1986

 New York

We arrived back at the hotel after I was done filming and we sat in the living room part of the hotel in my room. "I need to catch a bit of sleep." I said putting my hand over my mouth and yawning.

"Me too. I didn't know filming would be so intense. And I'm just watching you act. My back and feet are killing me." She winced touching her feet.

"Uh that's just old age, I don't have that problem." I chuckled.

She glared and me and shook her head. "Well im going to head to my room call me if anything sweety." She got up and left my room. I walked into my bedroom and took my things off to get some much needed sleep. __

RING RING

"Mmm hello." I groaned answering the phone.

"Hey princess, did I wake you?" Nikki chuckled.

"Yes you actually did." I groaned again.

"Well I'm not sorry about that. I wanted to hear your pretty voice."

"Well your hearing it. What's up Nikki?"

"I miss you that's what's up. A whole 3 months without seeing you is driving me crazy."

"Well you can always purchase a magazine I'm in, or you can wait till you see me on TV." I giggled.

"The real you is better, I can only look at you through the TV and admire you on magazines."

"Nikki 3 months isn't that long. Before you know it I'll be back."

"I guess. Well I've been writing songs to keep myself distracted. You know Gene Simmons from KISS?"

"Uh...no."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Everybody knows KISS Iman. You don't live under a rock?" He sneered.

I didn't bother telling him about Derek because we were already arguing. I felt like it would have added more to the argument. Ever since that night I went out with Derek. Nikki had been alittle short tempered, agitated, and snappy for the passed few phone conversations that we have had. I wasn't sure what was wrong with him. Everytime I asked if he was alright and how the band was doing, he would snap at me then hang up the phone. I started dreading our phone conversations because when ever I tried calling him back he would ignore my calls. He wouldn't speak to me until about 2-3 days after. This time I hadn't heard from him in 2 weeks.

"Yeah well Nikki I told you that I never listened to rock music growing up. My mom never liked it. So what ever she listened to is what I listened to."

"Wow so that's where it all started."

"Where what started?" I snapped sitting up right on my bed.

"You doing what ever other people tell you to do."

I scoffed. "Excuse me, I do not do what other people tell me to do."

"Well you sure as hell don't have a mind of your own. Need I remind you what happened in London." He points out.

"Nikki do not even start on that ok! That was in the past and I said I'm sorry!" I raised my voice starting to get upset.

"What ever, were still sneaking around rather than just being free and open about our relationship. And I feel like it's because your hiding it from Tamara. You don't have the balls to openly say that I like Nikki Sixx and I want to be his girlfriend to Tamara and your friends. Instead you rather hide me from your friends like I'm a dirty secret!" He raised his voice.

"I can't believe your bringing this up now. I said I wasn't ready to have a boyfriend. And you have met my friends, you met Lisa and Theresa!" I argued.

"Lisa and Theresa were just like me. They did drugs and drank as well. Face it Mani your a puppet, and you'll always do what ever your masters tell you to do. It's not your fault it just started from your mom." He argued back.

"Oh wow this is rich coming from you. Because I listened to my mom I'm not snorting coke! Because I listened to my mom I'm not drinking to the point where I pass out and can't remember what day it is! Because I listened to my mom I have grown up to become and decent human being and not a junkie! And on that topic of Tamara because Im listening to her, my career has taken off and I'm well loved and respected by people in the industry!" I shouted.

"Oh so is that what it is? You don't want people to know that your in deep with bad boy Nikki Sixx because you want to stay loved and respected! You are so fucking pathetic Mani!" He snorted.

If he's going to push my buttons well maybe I should push his.

"Maybe I dont! Need I remind you what happened in London!" I smirked.

The phone went silent on the other end. I knew he was seething in anger.

"You better shut up about that Iman. I'm warning you?" He said with a hoarse tone.

I was now full on grinning like the Devil. I know people should never fight fire with fire. But I was enjoying getting him angry. Especially because he started it.

"Or else what.....Frank!" Emphasizing on the K.

"You fucking cunt! You better watch yourself when you step foot back in LA. Your just lucky your in New York right now. When you get back let's see if you have the balls to call me that name to my face!" He yelled.

I am done with these phone conversations from hell. Nikki is driving me crazy and I have better things to do then to go back and forth with him trying to insult me.

"Don't call me again Frank!" I screamed and slammed the phone down.

I know it was wrong of me to take it to that level. I can be a spiteful person at times when pushed too far. And I felt bad for using his real name because he didn't like it. He trusted me when he was telling me what his real name was and how he changed it because of his father. And once again I used something from his passed against him. But I'll just have to brush it off for now. I have to concentrate on my job. I knew this thing with Nikki was too good to be true. ____

June 1986, New York

I spent the next few days doing what I do best thinking about Nikki while I was working. But then I spent the next few weeks doing what I do best pretending that everything is ok. I have been going to filming and really acting. During our little breaks, I would talk to my cast mates and "act" like I was a jolly happy person who's enjoying being here. And although I do enjoy being here, once again Nikki seems to have ruined my mind set again. He hasn't called me and I refused to call him.

"Hello Miss Darlington new pose please?" The photographer yelled.

"Oh sorry." I snapped out of my thoughts.

I used my index finger and thumb to make a circle around my eye. And posed for the next shot. The rest of my day was all photoshoots. After this photoshoot I was going to be taking some outdoor shots on the streets of New York. I was a little nervous because it was going to be a bit different. Normally I was in doors or outdoors but in a private setting. But this time people were going to be able to see me posing as they were walking down the street. I wasn't really fond of random people watching me.

"Alright we got our shots. Thanks Miss Darlington." The photographer says as he starts wrapping up.

I went to the change room and changed out of my clothes and met up with Jess who was half asleep on the chair with her mouth open.

"Jess I'm done!" I yelled scaring her.

"Oh uh ok!" She says in a panicked voice. "I think I need a vacation."

We headed out to my next shoot which was on the streets of New York. I got changed into my clothes and walked out. I was wearing a red top, white skirt, with red heels. When I came out they had boarders around so that people wouldn't cross. However there were so many young girls standing by the boarder screaming my name for an autograph. Right after Im done this shoot I will give them some. One of the assistants handed me the purse I would be using for the shoot.

"Alright Iman show me what you got." The photographer yelled.

I started doing different poses. I walked on the side walk, I leaned against the wall, I sat on the steps, and even pretended like I was bending down to fix my heels.

"Beautiful Iman just beautiful darling."

I noticed a mailbox in front of me and decided that would make a good shot. I walked and singled for an assistant to help me up. He came over and lifted me up on to the mail box and I put left arm on my thigh and put my hand under my chin. With my right arm I gripped the purse and placed it down on the mail box. I then crossed one leg over the other and smiled.

"My darling Iman that's why your a model. Hold that pose for me dear. You are truly magnificent." He cooed.

We were finally done shooting and I got off the mailbox and walked towards the fans. I started signing autographs and taking pictures with them.

I arrived back at the hotel with Jess and she stops me in my tracks and nudges me to look to the side. "You have an unexpected visitor." I turn to look over at where she pointed. "Derek!" I squeal and run up to him. "Hey you." He laughs and embraces me in a hug. "Oh my God what are you doing here? I thought you were staying in LA?" I say pulling away. "I was but then I had free time and I couldn't get you out of my mind." He smiles and caresses my cheek.

"Emem." Jess clears her throat. I turn around to see her standing behind us. "Sorry Derek this is my managers assistant Jess. She's also my friend." I giggle. "She comes with me where ever I go. Jess this is Derek he's a painter and really good friend of mine."

"Hi Jess it's nice to meet you." Derek says while extending his hand out for her to shake. "Its nice to meet you too. Iman has told me so much about you. I feel like I know you already." She chuckled. "I hope only the good stuff." He smiles and looks at me. "There are only good stuff." I mumble.

I look over at Jess who is still standing with us. I don't think she gets the hint that she should disappear and leave us be. So I guess I'll have to give her a clue so that she'll just go away.

"So Jess you said you had to find out what time the movie premiere is going to be a right?" I say to Jess while raising my brows. "Oh yes I do. It was nice to meet you Derek." She said again and then headed for the elevator. "So I don't know if your tired but I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner with me?" He says wrapping his arms around my waist. "I was but now I'm awake. Wide awake." I smiled and bit my lip. He let me go and intertwined his hand in mine and we walked out of the hotel to head to dinner.

Nikki's POV

I layed on the ground with my eyes rolling to the back of my head after freebasing all night. My girlfriend kept talking and talking and talking. I was getting to the point of telling her to shut the fuck up and get out of my house when the phone rang.

"Hello." I slurred.

"Hey Sixx it's Vince, I need to know what hotel Iman is staying in so I can call her."

Why the fuck does Vince want to know?

"Is there a reason?" I reply.

"Yeah Sixx I'm going to jail today so I would like to let her know." He spat.

"Oh yeah." He chuckled. "Guess you won't have any groupies to keep your bed warm."

"Fuck you Nikki!" He yelled. "Just give me the hotel she's staying at so you can go back to your junkie ways."

Vince is one to talk when he was still doing drugs and drinking during the Theater of Pain tour. It was me and T- bone that had to keep him in check. And what fucking thanks did we get from Vince. I guess I'll give him her hotel number. He can't do anything, he's going to jail.

"She's staying at the Sheridan hotel." I grumbled

"Thanks bye."

"Oh wait Vince." I say stopping him from hanging up.

"Yeah what?"

"Tell her I say she's a cunt." I sneered, and hung up the phone.

Since the last time I called Mani we haven't spoken to each other. I was to smacked out to call her and I'm sure she doesn't really give a shit about me. I tried my best to get clean and be good enough for her. But she's a puppet to the industry and a puppet to Tamara. She does everything they tell her to do. I'm Nikki Sixx, I do what I want when I want. I'm not gonna hide who I am because I want to please people. What you see is what you get. If she can't accept me for the drugged up rock star that I am, than she can fuck off with all her fake model friends. I'm not about to change my ways for no bitch.

RING RING

"Fuck Vince what the fuck do you want now?" I raised my voice.

"Nikki." It was Tom.

"Tom." I say sitting up.

"Nikki Nona is very sick." Tom said with a worried voice. I was to drugged out to even comprehend what he was saying. "Nikki did you hear me. Nona is really sick. Is there any way you can come down to Idaho to come visit her?"

"Y...yeah Tom I"ll...I'll try. I have to go." I put the phone down not wanting to hear anything else that he had to say. I picked up a baggy and made 5 lines on the table and snorted each line up then layed back down. My eyes were about to close in bliss when she started rambling again.

"You know coke is really bad for you. It has toxins that could ruin your liver. And there's caffeine in there to that can mess with your brain. You should really-"

"Shut the fuck up or get the fuck out!" I yelled at her.

Iman's POV

We got back from eating out at Le Bernardin restaurant. It was a very nice place. They served sea food and pasta and the drinks were phenomenal. Derek was a real gentlemen. I offered to pay this time because last time we went out for dinner he payed but he refused. We talked about everything and I found my self stuck in Derek fantasy. I have to admit I liked where me and Derek were going. He really wasn't like Nikki and that was a good thing. Maybe everyone was right getting involved with Nikki is a bad idea. I think Derek could be my first boyfriend. He's definitely what I have always wanted in a guy. Of course I would still have to check with my mom and Tamara. But so far they liked him as my friend.

"I had a great time Derek thank you." I mumble looking at the ground.

"Me too. If your a...if your free after filming tomorrow we should go out again." He smiled and bit his lips.

"Actually my cast mates are going to a party tomorrow night. I wasn't going to go, but seeing as your hear I think it would be great if you came along." I say finally looking up at him.

"I'd like that."

"Well bye." I smile and wave to him. I turned and walked towards the elevator. He pulled my arm so I would turn to face him and sweetly kisses my cheek. I touch my cheek and laugh. "I don't want to kiss your lips until your ready for me." He smiles. "Goodnight Iman." "Goodnight Derek." I turn again and head upstairs.

When I got outside my hotel room door I could hear the phone ringing. I quickly opened the door and ran inside to pick up the phone.

"Yes hello." I breathed out.

"Mani is that you?"

"Yes who's this?" I asked with confusion.

"It's Vince." He chuckled.

"Oh heyyy what's up? How'd you get my hotel number?" I say plopping down on the couch.

"From Nikki, he was being a prick though. He told me to tell you that your a cunt. Whats up his ass?" Vince laughed.

"Don't mind him he's been off lately. I can't even bother. But any ways how are Beth and Elizabeth?" I kick off my shoes and lay down on the couch to catch up with him. Me and Vince haven't really talked in a while.

He sighed. "There good, I just purchsed a $1.5 million house in the Porter Ranch estate in upper Northridge for them."

"Wow that's great I'm happy for you."

"The reason I called is because I'm turning my self in today. And I just wanted to to let you know."

"Turning yourself in, what do you mean?" I sat up confused furrowing my brows.

"I'm going to jail Mani...today."

Oh shoot!

"Oh Vince." I sighed. "I don't really know what to say. I mean... you made the decision to get behind the wheel that night because you were being irresponsible and foolish. But I hope when you go in, you have time to think about the life you took and the others that you have hurt. But also think about your self Vince. Your getting older and you have two children now. You have to start being responsible."

"I hear you Mani but it isn't easy. This life of being a rock star, theres access to everything. Like I literally have the whole world at the palm of my hands for the taking. Woman, drugs, cars, boats, and money. Like everything I fucking want I can have. And I'm never told no.

"You see that's your problem. You think just because your a rock star you can have everything and you shouldn't be held accountable for your mistakes. That thought is why your going to jail Vince." I stated.

"Fuck you, I called you as a courtesy to let you know that I was going to jail. You should feel privileged that I even thought about you." He snapped.

What is it with these rockstars?

"Vince I'm talking to you as a friend ok. I just...I just want you to know that just because your a rock star that doesn't mean you have to behave like one. Theres another life for you that doesn't have to be all about booze, sex, and drugs." I calmly spoke.

He sighed. "I'm sorry...im sorry. I guess...I guess my nerves are just getting to me about going. I know your my friend you always have been. I guess I'm gonna miss our long talks." He mumbled.

There was a long pause between us on the phone. I honestly liked Vince yeah he was full of himself, and thought he was better than everyone else, and slept around. But I always had a soft spot for him. I sometimes wish that I could have been blonde. I think maybe then Vince would have looked at me. The first time I saw him I thought he was very attractive in 1984, then the second time when Nikki brought me to that house party I thought he was a dick. But I felt differently about him in 1985. When he comforted me after Nikki scolded me for dancing with Jon.

"Vince?"

"Yeah darling."

"If...if I was blonde would you look at me?" I asked nervously scratching the back of my neck.

"Uh... what do you mean?" He asked with confusion.

"If my hair was blonde, would you look at me like you do those other blonde girls?" I mumbled.

There was a long pause again. I feel like I never should have said anything. This could make things awkward for the both of us now.

"Uh never mind I...I have to go. Call me anytime ok."

"Mani!" He spoke up stopping me from hanging up.

"Y...yes." I stutter softly.

"I've been looking at you since 1984." He spoke softly. "I'll call you whenever you want me to darling." He chuckled then hung up the phone.

I felt like a tone of bricks was lifted off of my chest. It's a question that I had always wondered. And now I have the answer.