#i was fine up until the last part- | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

obsob · 5 months ago

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do you make enough money from selling prints in etsy to sustain your life? how are you able to afford this beautiful house and time to crochet and go on walks and all of that? i’m not asking for nosiness but because i’m trying to figure out what i would need to do in order to make my life financially sustainable… is art an option… etc

short answer i mooch off my bf <333333333333333

#long answer part 1: i make enough off my etsy to afford my stuff (and i really don't buy much) and help out w th food bills where i can etc #i hvnt been able to do much of that OR save anything for the past couple months bc i hvnt been selling much BUT . things are beginning #to pick up again and i hve new stock to add when i get back from holidays :3 #i have a smallish job lined up from my agent which is exciting! but hopefully i will make enough w her doing picture books etc to be able #to pay my keep / save more etc! i hve been anxious abt money this past months but thats just more so money for me to spend on small stuff :#i also dont drive so . i dont rlly hve many outwards expenses . im very lucky to have him hes very kind and lovely !!#if i wasnt w him and he didnt hve a house i would still b living w my mama which i did since i left uni!#long answer part 2: i always make time for goofing off during my work day. always!!!#part of the joys of being a freelancer! i can do what i want!!#i can share my routine in more detail if u guys want but i dont start work until abt 2pm-ish most days bc i dont rlly work well in the #mornings. when i hve more work that might change!! i have enough on to keep me busy but im not rlly hvin 2 manage my time u kno #im very very lucky to be in such a comfortable position :3 i hope one day u can be as comfy !!#oh also. i think once the agency work kicks in i will b fine financially ! and also u can absolutely make a living off etsy when its good #its very good for me ! i was very comfy financially around xmas last year i made a lot #u can do it u can do it !! art will always sell !!

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cantspelldragoonwithoutgoon · 5 months ago

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what if...

(how is she not breaking her neck you ask?)

tippy toes.

#AU where they get to kiss and make up and everyone is alive and fine #it is maximum self indulgence hours pls perceive them #gpose #elezen #eclaire yes like the dessert #wol x elidibus #=v=#endwalker spoilers #just to be safe even though i built an ascian from spare parts bc using his baby face felt kinda weird ngl 🙊#that one AU from the void #ofc i wait until the last possible minute to finally use the crimes for their intended purpose of making the barbies kiss

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send-up-my-heart-to-you · 7 months ago

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sometimes i feel like i hate everyone

#if i ever say “i hate you” dont take it personally #everyone does stupid shit sometimes n thats fine but its happening sm and im sick of it n i need to speak up #chances are if u see this ur not part of the problem bc ur actually reading the shit i post #the fact that barely anyone realized that i relapsed into sh yesterday is crazy #im not doing this for attention its a fucking cry for help and most of yall are ignoring me #you ignore me when im fine and you ignore me when i need you #what am i supposed to do ffs #do i have to show you my bleeding thighs for you to ask how i am?#do you have to wait until i scream and cry and hurt myself for you to care abt me?#do i not matter unless im hurting? or do i not matter even when i am hurting?#do i have to fucking die for any of yall to realize theres something mentally wrong w me?#fuck you all youre just as bad as my parents #except for the four people who talked me out of spiralling last night #two of which were people i barely/dont know #so yeah maybe try harder n actually ask ur friends how they are #dont push them to the point where they need to be comforted by strangers

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fisheito · 7 months ago

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slithering out from under a rock or something to inform you that you DO have followers who are yaku lovers <3 he's been my fave since day one and i would love to accompany him to the farmers market

ah.. i sit corrected... valuable confirmation of intel. *enters it manually into the nucadex* where to find yakufans: farmer's market (they will be farming and/or marketing)

#i also am likely to be found in such an environment #i will be talking to the mushroom people for 20 minutes #my non-browsey friends in the background lingering like bored toddlers for the first 3 mins #until i start gesturing wildly about logs. then they give up and start wandering #oh no they got started on the logs this ain't wrapping up any time soon #that last post definitely brought out more yakufans than i've seen around these parts!!#like the rain brings out the worms (～￣︶￣)～#hello everyone. thank u for visiting. make sure to grab a soil bag on ur way out (it is moist and finely textured)#gently scooping the wild yakufans back into their habitat so they may resume stealthy slithering #i'm gonna start joking about nucadex collecting now #u raise an eyebrow at me. i sigh. i know i knooooow #just because ppl share similar interests does not mean they are similar creatures #individual differences stronger than group differences yadayada yes we understand this implicitly #and i do so enjoy having a diverse biome of fans around me. FOR EXAMPLE:#YOINKS the wolfboy fans by the scruff of their necks #u can't do this to yakufans. but these guys??! built of sturdier stuff.#uses one of those long distance ball throwers to launch them across the field (they are chuckling mildly mid-flight)#BUT FOR THE JOKES 🙌👌👌 FIND YOUR LOCAL YAKUFAN AT THE PLACE THEY SELL FRESH FRUTAS #feesh answer

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gierosajie · 2 years ago

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Thinking about how there's a lot more ghosts wandering Mondstadt in the Archon Dvalin AU than usual because Venti is usually the one sending off spirits into the afterlife and well. he's kinda stuck on that side post-Cataclysm

At first there weren't any because they just followed Venti, but afterwards there were some that still lingered and the number just kept piling up over the centuries. Many did eventually go on their own, but there's just more that didn't want to or simply couldn't

Dvalin doesn't know how to send them off, no one really showed him how and he doubts that even if he knew, he probably couldn't. Still, whenever a spirit decides to show themself, he stays with them for a bit, just to alleviate their burdens even a little and maybe help them find enough peace

It's probably another thing that eats at him alive because he couldn't even help those that he failed to protect, no matter how much most of them say it isn't his fault

And then, after the whole reconciliation with Celio thing, one of the lingering spirits asks him for a song. Before, he might've gently turned down the request, but after everything, he decided he might as well

Dvalin starts singing an old song he loved. Singing it had been painful, once, considering it was made as a duet and having to listen to the silent answer just brought him nothing but grief. Now, there's a sort of peace to how the breeze and the sound of nature fill in the gaps and pauses.

Over the course of the song, more and more ghosts come to listen. By the end of it, Dvalin opens his eyes to see most of them disappear, not in terms of hiding away like usual but rather beginning to dissolve into light as they finally move on

The last one to leave was the one who requested a song. She turns to smile at him. "I suppose I can finally tell that bard how much you've grown," she says before finally dissipating into the wind

#anemo archon dvalin au #I wanted to post hurt/comfort so I dusted off one of my drafts and added the comfort part #anyway yeah the last ghost was from the Cataclysm and probably met Venti briefly when they were still both alive #and then she met him again as he was gathering up all the dead so they could go together #but then she takes one look at Dvalin looking absolutely miserable #and decides she ain't going to rest until she deems the poor guy to be doing fine #it took 500 years but y'know Mondstadters are a certain brand of insane sometimes #trying to watch over him as a lingering ghost kinda did the opposite effect tho but she tried her best #'what about the miasma and evils spirits that would appear due to all these ghosts tho?' you may ask #Idk copious amounts of seals and blessings and maybe the occasional exorcist that pass by #Venti's resentment and regrets were probably the only tatarigami that plagued Mond #and even then it just stayed around the vicinity where Venti died and took a while to even manifest #mostly due to whatever wackery is going on in Dragonspine + intervention from Andrius and Dvalin

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nerosdayinanime · 1 year ago

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ok i originally just wanted to think of something w obagiyuu but then it went to obamitsugiyuu but then sabiuzui happened and now its a full on everyone lives au with everyone hugging the last 3 ubuyashiki kids just after kiriya announces the demon slayer corps disbanded and im Crying

#kny manga spoilers #kny spoilers #<just bc its an original post #mitsuri got so emotional she had to hug him but she forgot she lost both her arms.#obanai cant see whats going on so giyuu pulls him over with his remaining arm and they act as her arms for her :)#everyone else joins in very soon after pulling in the other 2 with them #some kakushi sprinted to bring a camera to document the last moment of the demon slayer corps as something joyous #finally get to unveil my sabito lives au idea- in the final battle sabito & giyuu were fighting together and sabito saw an attack coming #before giyuu did so he shoved giyuu out of the way- muzan's attack still got most of giyuu's arm and the end of sabito's forearm #sabito was horrified for a moment bc. that was far to close to losing giyuu in a fuckin *instant*#something something even earlier genya & muichiro live because sanemi stopped koku from fully cutting genya in half & genya regenerated #enough to chomp through the sword going through his mouth. made him more monstrous like how koku was about to do and it had the same 'is #that what i become? what im becoming? and for what- power? life? this isnt worth it' and explodes himself #all 4 of them patch up and recover as much as they can before joining everyone else w muzan #sanemi telling genya that under NO CIRCUMSTANCE is he to eat part of muzan. kokushibo was already pushing it the demon king himself? FUCK n #anyways it all started at an inn on a joint mission with sabito & giyuu and obanai #giyuu & obanai were kinda just chilling while sabito was out and about doing who knows what #'im bored' 'what do you expect me to do about that?.' 'wanna check out the onsen with me?' 'wh.' 'do you think kaburamaru would like the #warmth?' '..i dont know' 'onsen?' 'fine.' que giyuu giving him a towelette to tie over his nose & tying his hair up with an extra he brough #obanai thinks hes weird but is very touched by the gestures nonetheless. they speak sparsely until sabito joins (giyuu left a note) &#starts up a bit more conversation. it gets quiet after a while and sabito looks over and notices giyuu's little smile as hes laying his hea #back on his folded towel on the edge. 'what are you so happy about?' obanai looks over and sees it too 'hanging out with my friends is nice #'plural?' both of them look @ him 'yeah- we're friends right? ..can we be friends?' obanai doesnt answer and focuses back on kaburamaru #swimming around his arms. he glances over at them chatting between themselves about some minor thing- (either theyll scorn me or... or)#he takes off the towel covering his face- neither of them mention it immediately even if he catches them giving a glance or two #'do your scars make it hard to move your face? i think mine cut through the muscle. cant smile as much on this side' he looks at #sabito tapping his scarred cheek. giyuu's back to trying to sleep in the water 'not.. much.. its only deep near my mouth' said quieter #towards the end as he focused back on kabu (his prime excuse to avoid eye contact) sabito nodded and kept chatting about whatever- giyuu #quietly enjoying listening to them. kabu got too hot for the water and curled up next to giyuu's head on the towel. obanai actually enjoyin #himself around other people (than sanemi) its nice :) +theyre still on a mission together for a few more days so its not a one-off thing

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licorishh · 7 months ago

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Replayed Modern Warfare 3 2011 on Veteran tonight and goooooooood night. Blood Brothers never gets any easier to watch no matter how many times you've done it and the ending really never misses huh

I apologize for the amount of yapping in the tags I reread it all on mobile and started giggling because it went on for so long but eh. Blessed are those who won't shut the freak up and all that

#call of duty #modern warfare 3 2011 #i just. wow. wow wow wow wow wow #i've played these three games so many times over the last several years and i just.#they literally. never get old.#loose ends and blood brothers will never not make me cry and endgame and dust to dust will never not make me smile so hard #ending it with price smoking the cigar like he did in the first mission in the first game wHEN HE FIRST MET SOAP JUST UGHHHHHH.#i know y'all don't care but i don't care that y'all don't care i could literally yap about this until i shrivel up and die #i have never ever ever in my LIFE seen poetic justice played out so beautifully like it is at the very end #JUST. WOW. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. WOW WOW. WOW #they do not frickin make games like that anymore DADGUM #i also forgot how frickin sad down the rabbit hole is?? like jeez louise they didn't have much screen time but gosh #i also have never in my life heard such gut-wrenching anguish from a grown man in my life like price in that one scene #I KNOW Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT MAN MAKES ME FULL ON S O B IN THAT PART HE HAD NO BUSINESS #anyway i'll keep cutely living in denial and pretending literally any of the main characters besides price and nikolai are fine <3 #foley and dunn and their team seemed just fine at the end of modern warfare 2 so i will accept that small mercy #at this point these games have taken everything else i love away from me so #y'all probably think i'm wild for how insane i get over these games but the nostalgia bit is a big part of it as well #like they're honestly in my opinion genuinely the greatest video games of all time #but the fact that i have that connection with my dad makes it so special #crazy cause he said he also cried in blood brothers and my dad is 54 and i have seen him cry one (1) other time in my entire life #heck infinity ward but also bless them i hope the devs live long beautiful wonderful prosperous delightful exciting fulfilling lives #Lord bless them and their entire bloodline for the contributions they have made to humanity not even joking #AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FREAKING SOUNDTRACKS DO NOT GO THERE OAUSYDJAKAKDN #MW2 AND MW3 CREDITS. EXTRACTION POINT. COUP DE GRACE. RETREAT AND REVEILLE. CONTINGENCY. PARIS SIEGE. PRAGUE HOSTILITIES. RUSSIAN WARFARE.#UGHHHHHHHGHHHH everything about these games is so unbelievably perfect and immaculate #i have got to get over my art block NOWWWWWWWWWW #makarov is also the best villain i've ever seen idc bro he's frickin awesome #i mean obviously he's horrible and a disgustingly evil human being but as a character he's stupidly well-written

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pallases · 14 days ago

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stabbing my lab partners with a plastic fork

#personal #the engineering chronicles #one of them is sick which is fine obviously but it does suck bc she’s my lab partner in this class and another class so i was up literally #all night yesterday working on the lab due this morning and now im probably abt to pull another all nighter #doing This lab and my other lab partner is trying to argue the two of us should just work from home since one of us isn’t here already but #the last time we decided to work from home it was utterly disastrous and we stayed up all night anyway and only got our demo prepared in #time bc we were one of the last groups my prof checked and even then part of the demo was not Correct. like. ALSO this particular lab is mcu #to mcu communication and technically i Have two mcus bc we bought new kits for this class even tho most of it is the same as a class we took #before but i gave my working extra mcu to my lab partner a few weeks ago bc he blew out some of the pins on his and only had the one mcu on #him so now i just have my usual mcu and his broken mcu that isn’t totally busted but idk How busted it is so i could very well end up #totally wasting my time if i work from #home instead of the two of us meeting and working together with two mcus we know work :/#also he texted earlier today that he could meet after 6 so i was there all day waiting for him like if you’re not coming say that!! why are #you waiting until i text asking where you are to tell me you don’t want to meet up after all

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squirmydonnie · 2 months ago

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CW: unreality

Vent: kinda

I heard voices kind of in my ear today, I don't really know exactly why

I feel maybe it's happened before, but I couldn't give an example of a time that it has.

I pretty sure this was after I had gone outside.

My dad told me I should probably go outside since I like the wind a lot.

I went outside and my brother went outside with me. And we looked around. Because of the storm and hurricane that happened some things like leaves and branches were out. But it wasn't raining anymore.

My brother told me about a big piece of tree that fell near the neighbors house.

Then I wanted to say something about cutting down trees, but my brother kept telling me no. And cutting me off. All he wanted to say was that some peoples internet was out.

I turned around be he was already leaving.

So I just started crying.

When people leave like that it feels really bad. And I just felt like I did something really wrong.

I stayed out side for a while and I went back inside but I was still crying about it.

I did stop and I got back to working. We had school at home today.

I was just thinking to myself, but then I heard sounds that were like words in my ears when I was thinking. And I didn't really sound like thinking. But then it just stopped. It was pretty strange

I don't have this happen to me often or at all. So I'm not sure why it did. Or than that I've been pretty stressed lately.

CW: eating strangely,, in tags. I just didn't want to put it up there

#everything was fine after that. and i knew it would be. but it doesn't really help much to know. i just wait until it's over.#because i was at home. i wasn't sure how to fit breakfast into my schedule. so i never went downstairs to get any. so maybe it was because-#i hadn't eaten anything but skittles yet.#but later on. when i felt like i could go back downstairs again. i made a sandwich and had some chips and my leftover drink from yesterday #i also had a sandwich from American deli for dinner.#i hate skipping breakfast but i wasn't sure how deal with a schedule or setting change.#if i do end up missing breakfast. ill just eat lunch or a snack. i have some snacks in my room. i even had one later.#i was having a pretty difficult time this morning with my work. and i still didn't finish a part. but the last of the 10 slides is a game.#and you have to write about the game after. im not doing that right now. would be a very bad idea. ill do it tomorrow

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vulpinesaint · 4 months ago

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i’m secretly in love with you

wow... beautiful world... that's crazy cause you are ma chèrie mon ange mon cœur ma vie. t'es la plus jolie femme du monde et c'est simplement la verité...

#not allowed to call me out if something's wrong in my french. haven't really actually practiced in a while now #new love language i start writing you letters in french to force you to practice your reading comprehension #to prove to you that you are like. fine at french. you have a perfectly good baseline level of understanding.#sorry babydoll didn't mean to take a sharp turn french. remember last night when i said i was going to bed...#couldn't sleep until 1 in the morning and i just found the poem i got back up at 12 to write to try and tire myself out/wind down #*poem i wrote in french. was the operative part of that sentence that i forgot. was trying to access some different parts of the brain.#get it to calm the fuck down. you know how it is #ask

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youremyonlyhope · 2 years ago

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Weird intense sertraline dreams are super real side effect.

#zoloft #sertraline #i just took a nap from like 9pm-ish to 11pm #i had a dream with a whole bunch of youtubers in it and i have no clue why #i think i made up like half of them just from names i've heard while others were people i either still watch or just used to watch #and there were LEVELS to this dream that i didn't even fully realize until like 30 minutes after waking up #like one youtuber was being called by another name yet they still had drama with another who was there #and it took me remembering the dream to realize that that drama was somewhat real but the different name made me not notice at first #it was WEIRD. also at one point i was living in like a campus or something but there were different climates like every 20 feet #like snow but also multiple pools and a weird like rollercoaster but you walk/slide in it... this is vaguely still coming back to me #also a weird sauna i was in then someone helped me out of it #and LITERALLY as if i was playing the sims i felt my consciousness almost like press buttons to change the POV #and the 'camera' left my eyes and moved to the outside of the sauna so i watched the person carry my sleeping body out #and i'm just NOW remembering that part and being like... what... i mean i literally intentionally changed the camera controls of my dream #guys i am hennaing my hair i was supposed to rinse it out at like 10:30ish but slept through that so i've had it in for an extra hour #which is fine. i like the more intense color. but i've been slowly remembering bits and pieces of this dream #for the last 45 minutes and it's so weird i need to somewhat document it #because it was like 4 different plotlines and the youtuber one was only one of them and the campus thing was another #oh my god i just remembered clark baxtresser from starkid was in the campus part and he was singing and i was like chasing him #through the rollercoaster (or maybe just sliding behind him?) and singing along and i think i dreamt that part due to VHS Christmas Carol #that JUST came back to me. that was such a weird aspect. i think i thought it was weird even in the moment.#i haven't remembered most of the weird sertraline dreams so i'm glad i put down bits of this one

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mqonlighting · 9 months ago

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real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.

will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again

#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be #a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute #ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to #‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m #not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik #ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig #and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs #but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord.#i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were #i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve #tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit #on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i #would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther #but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall #y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the #prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would #turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on #us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just #and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel #like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO #SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like #think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein #nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I #HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and #during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say #smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and #think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail #in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS.#I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE #BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK

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tbosasgunsandroses · 7 months ago

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snowjanus week 2: ‘crack’

(btw coriolanus is cremello and sejanus is bay roan 💕)

#art by mod coryo #sorry this is laaaaate #but yes #they’re unicorns #unicorn au would be fun #like #tbosas: everything is the same except coryo n sej are unicorns #can’t you just envision it #coryo and sej going to the zoo with sandwiches impaled on their horns and passing them to the tributes through the cage bars #sejanus jumping and bucking and punching holes in everything when they show marcus in the arena #oh no lucy gray singing the songs from the last unicorn #peacekeeper training would be interesting bc ‘unicorn with gun’ sure would be a Thing #coryo rearing up and trampling billy taupe might undo me i might very well laugh until i’m sick #the best part of this au is unicorns are immortal so sej would be fine!#like they put him up on the scaffold and everything but he’s just dangling looking bored/annoyed while they scratch their heads and shrug #and then they run off to the wilds with lucy gray #yes this could work #snowjanusweek2

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dredshirtroberts · 8 months ago

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okay. i cleared out the space under my bed so the princess will have so much MORE room for activities than she previously did. at least until Saturday and we move to the new place and she can decide if she's going to play nice with the boys finally.

#i was really underutilizing the under the bed space #not that i had a lot that could go in there but like just conceptually there was a lot of open space #also a whole fuckin pillow for some reason #anyway... my bookshelf STILL has books on it 3 bankers boxes later #i have a BAJILLION chotchkies i gotta figure out how to transport (absolutely already have gotten rid of things that aren't important)#(still have approximately a bajillion don't at me bro i know)#we're gonna figure out the stuffy transport situation #i'm planning on just throwing my clothes into the back of my car wherever there's space when we get to that part #because fuck it i don't care if it's enclosed in something if it gets dirty there's a washer and dryer in the new place #and i've already got plans to wash so much clothing #i have a whole ass hangup about laundry and i'm going to do my best to overcome that this next year #i'm also trying really hard not to overspend on spoons because i want to be able to help AND enjoy my birthday activities #(weather permitting) on friday AND also be kind of useful while we're settling into the new place over the next week #it is very nice that i do not have to do everything all by myself because i've been able to take the rest breaks i need #i'm doing very good at not panicking i'm really hoping it'll last until we're most of the way done already and i can just #point to all the things that are already done and go ''eh it's fine see?'' at myself #and then not actually panic.#we'll see how that goes lmao #okay lunch time i gotta get up and do that before i forget i preheated the oven

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woolydemon · 2 years ago

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it's so funny I made the klapolly mutual law autisms post bc of a fic I read that was described exactly how someone complained abt it in a rb of that post akdhckcjckcj

#I'll be reading a klapolly so so fine then BOOM klav quits law job like WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!#i was so enjoying it until the last part where i was just HE WOULD NOT FUCKING DO THAT !!!#like ok ok. sure. all the shit that happened yeah we've all heard of it #but literally at the end of the game hes like #These court trials shook me to my core AND THATS WHY i have to pursue law full time im breaking up the rockband !!!!!#he is like genuinely that intensely passionate abt the law and maybe just a bit more so than music #which is saying a lot considering his guitar lovers thing #its like idk man it really seems like his undying passion for truth and justice #Was what actually what was getting him through that whole ordeal that was aa4 .... 🤔🤔🤔#just saying. not that im completely right and so smart and so sexy or whatever #rando thoughtz

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kii2me2ii2 · 2 years ago

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omori's inclinations towards self isolation is so realistic and similar to my own it's almost disturbing and very nearly triggering... very. nearly.

#not really a vent jus. hm.#its not surprising or anything. omoris a good game. its been praised for how it deals with and portrays this stuff.#im watching the sleepy crest black space ii vid #my shut in life will turn into a rock /lyrref #thinking about it is a little difficult. its hard to without becoming. consumed.. with desires i know. can be destructive #that said are but i changed it to 'can be'. so i can have plausible deniability when i relapse into madd&shut in and pretend its ok ^^#because i know its not good to anticipate failure or relapse or whatever. but its like. that desire feels so base level for me.#its the safest i feel and relapse is inevitable and.... welcomed. almost. it cant last because i have people whod be hurt by it.#so welcoming it doesnt feel dangerous. i have people with me that i have a duty not to shut out. (i can wait until they leave me just fine)#but i like making friends. so i know realistically its somewhat unlikely ill ever feel like i dont have a 'duty' not to shut in for others.#and my family actually like..... has a substantial relationship with me now. but i think my dissociation can take care of that problem #rather easily. ive always planned the potential for them. not my friends though. so i cant shut in yet ^^#though i do technically..... have a plan if even they become too unbearable as well. that goes back.. years at this point #but it has less to do with disconnection on my part and instead more to do with festering disconnection on their part #i know whats good for them i know whats good for me and thats hikikomori ^^#haha i jus said that cus it rhymed lol ignore me #does the post above even hold up at this point.#well. i think so. i dont think the game itself is triggering. i think im digging this well myself. and its not like ill be stuck here #i dont feel as though i am going to be consumed either. i think im just making noise. for the post. and to talk about this experience #since its something i struggle with quite a bit. but i dont tell my friends or stuff about it. because that feels..... mean. almost #like. oh ya by the way i fantasize a lot about you leaving my life. ya you should feel bad for me or something. idfk #really. really. the only feeling i have thinking about this shut in life is...... almost warmth. i think.#i dont think i could ever see the idea completely negatively. ive lived in a haze of drugs daydreams secrets and self isolation before.#its just. safe. it doesnt matter how the days blend together. your brain crowded and constantly foggy with dissociation.#youre somewhere else. somewhere where these things dont matter... those things help you get there. theyre tools of equivalent exchange #give your life up and you can create a new one. that idea had always permeated through my life in a manner of styles #but this is probably the most.... sensical and safe manifestation of that idea ^^#anyways. i like chatting about this stuff with people who relate #so hmu i guess.#vent in tags

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