#i feel like this is just a correct quote

[regeditt]

james: we all know what i would do if someone hurt you but what would you do if someone hurt me

regulus: i would start by— *proceeds to list out thirty different methods of killing someone*

james: wow, i’m so relieved

regulus: i’m not done yet

james: …

regulus: *keeps going*

[cerealbishh]

"The world's lucky to have you."

[canisalbus]

you say machete has to be closeted then why's he always wearing them little heels

Maybe he thinks he's a tiny bit nicer looking in them.

[nachosncheezies]

In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)

I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.

Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)

That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"

When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!

The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:

and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)

So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.

So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.

Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)

Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.

[helluvahotmess]

'I want you to continue to be who you are.' what if i fucking died what then

[yesterdayiwrote]

For someone who's so thoughtful when he speaks, Lewis really does still give some absolutely terrible quotes when he's talking to journalists...

[brazilian-whalien52]

Kawi is not just shy he has social anxiety disorder (SAD).

A Quick summary of social anxiety: "A person with social anxiety disorder feels symptoms of anxiety or fear in situations where they may be scrutinized, evaluated, or judged by others" 

You can see through the drama how he cares about the opinion of others. He builds his whole life over what other people think about him and, in the same way, pushes other people way and keeps a distance. 

He also, in many moments, freezes in front of others. For example, when he has to sing as a first-year student in front of his classmates. Besides avoiding places or situations where he feels other people may judge him, which causes him to not have any meaningful connections in the future and regretting all the opportunity he lost. Even the work he ends up at is basically another form of isolation (he does subtitles in his home office and the contact with his boss seems to be mostly through his cellphone).  

After a social situation, he tries to over analyse his "performance", looking for flaws in his interactions, blaming himself and regretting the things he said/did. Also, he tends to expect the worst possible consequences from a social interaction or negative experience, believing that any mistakes he makes will turn people against him. Basically, he doesn't allow himself to make mistakes, especially during social interactions. You can see him expressing this a lot in the firsts episodes. 

Another thing that shows is that he doesn't feel comfortable eating in front of others, a usual trait in people with social anxiety disorder (observational social fears). It is also pretty common for people with SAD to develop drinking problems. Normally, they have alcohol because it's a way they can be "fun and spontaneous" around other people. However, how he was before, also shows his social anxiety. He was too afraid of drinking and getting loose around other people. That's probably why he never drank. Basically, he went to two different extremes in that matter.  

Plus, people that are part of a minority group (in this case queer) are more likely to have social anxiety disorder. 

[thelastspeecher]

This may come as a bit of a surprise, but I don't often cry at books. Even the ones that hit me the hardest and most deeply, I don't cry.

But the ending of The Sun and the Star of all things got to me and now I'm crying at work bc I decided to finish it on my lunch break.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[correctdndadsquotes]

Freddie: [like a shocked Yu Gi Oh dub character] Guh?!

[mieux-de-se-taire]

Helena - MCR Interview

Stars & Scars Interview - 4/17/04

Paragraph 8

Interviewer: What song on “Three Cheers” means the most to you and why? Gerard: “Helena” -that’s my grandmother’s name, and it’s about her. Originally, I wanted the lyrics to be more directly about her. It ended up being more of a song about her writing to me. The lyrics are very aggressive. It’s more about me ragging on myself for being away so much. After we had toured for about a year and a half straight, she died the day after I got home. She had been in the hospital, so I couldn’t see her because I was sick, too. I got home, and the next morning I woke up and she was dead. I was very angry with myself for that. I didn’t regret it, obviously, because she would have wanted me on the road. The song’s very aggressive towards myself. That’s kind of what I do. That song definitely means the most. It’s awesome. It’s one of my favorite songs on the record.

/

MTV Backstage Pass Interview - 10/26/04

1:10-1:34

Gerard: I believe the next single's gonna be "Helena." Frank: I think that'd be good because it means so much to... (gestures) Mikey and Gerard. Gerard: Yeah, like, it's about-- it's about me and Mikey's grandma, who passed away, so it'll show kind of a little closer to what we're more about. Not that we're not about stuff like "Not Okay," but "Helena's" definitely more aggressive, and I think you'll find the record has more aggressive songs on it than "Not Okay."

/

Fuse Daily Download Interview + HD - 11/24/04

11:36-11:54 (HD 1:45-2:04)

Gerard: The next single, I think, is gonna be "Helena," right guys? Frank: Probably Gerard: Yeah, we're actually discussing a video right now. Steven Smith (Interviewer): What about the video, what kind of stuff? Gerard: Um, right now the only thing we're talking about is a funeral. Steven Smith: Yeah? Gerard: But we're also talking to Marc Webb again, who did the last video, 'cause we love-- he did such a great job. Steven Smith: It was awesome. Gerard: And he's talking about choreographed dancing.

/

Steven's Untitled Rock Show Interview - Feb/March 2005

0:32-0:53

Steven Smith (Interviewer): (After cutting back from the music video for "Helena") That was My Chemical Romance with "Helena." What was your favorite part about making that video, um any fond memories of creating it? It's kind of bizarre but very cool. Gerard: Yeah, well, um, the coolest thing was seeing the dancers for the first time, I think. It was a really hard video to make 'cause it's such a personal subject, but it was a really good closure-- I think that's what I'll take away from it-- me and Mikey especially.

/

KROQ Interview - 5/21/05

0:35-0:40

Gerard: (Responding to the prompt: favorite songs on the album (Three Cheers)) The most important song, to me and especially Mikey, on the record is "Helena" 'cause it's about our grandmother who passed away.

/

Rolling Stone Magazine Interview + alt - 6/18/05

Page 3, paragraph 11

The inspiration for much of Three Cheers came from the death of his maternal grandmother, Elena Lee Rush, in 2003. "Helena," [Gerard] says, "is an angry open letter to myself for being on the road so long and missing the last year of her life."

/

Kerrang #1072 - 7/23/05

Page 6

Gerard: When we did 'Helena', I knew it was going to be heavy. I was almost afraid of the song. I knew we were going to be singing it on TV, we were going to make a really expensive video; 'Helena' was going to become a thing, and I was afraid because I knew how great it was. When I showed up for the video shoot it was grim: it was set up like a funeral and it was like walking back into my grandma's funeral (the song is about her). We chose to use a young woman not so it connected with kids -- it was to make people take it more seriously. So that people could connect with it on a broader level; when somebody older dies, you kind of expect it, when somebody younger dies, it's more tragic.

Page 7, paragraph 4

Gerard: That's when 'Helena' happened. We had this song, which wasn't about anything, then all of a sudden I said, "I think I want to make this song about grandma". So from that point on, that's what the whole record became about: loss.

/

Galaxie Magazine Interview - Sep 2005

Page 2, paragraph 5

Interviewer: What does it feel like to suddenly be in the same league as the bands that influenced you? Do you feel like you're in competition to be heard? Gerard: It is actually flattering. You need to play the radio game (to be heard on national radio). We were worried about Helena because all these heavy-hitting records from Nine Inch Nails, Weezer, Foo Fighters, and System of a Down came out at the same time. All these major major platinum-selling bands dropped albums and, based on what had come before, we thought Helena was done. Then all of a sudden we noticed that it wasn't. Helena remained on the charts when other songs went away. Now we are not talking shit, but our song got bigger and it made us feel that we had a chance at making a career out of this. To be able to make music that is relevant for as long as possible, that's all we want.

/

Zero Magazine Interview - Oct-Nov 2005

Page 7, paragraph 2-4

Interviewer: Hence the record company's decision to re-release I'm Not Okay? Gerard: Re-releasing I'm Not Okay is more of a reintroduction to the band 'cause Helena has taken off. I'm Not Okay was like this very simple, direct song about multiple high school depressions, suicide attempts, alcoholism -- it's about being an outcast. So that's Not Okay. Helena was the one that really encapsulated the band so in a way I'm happy that Helena did better than Not Okay. It was a very personal song (it's about Gerard's late grandmother), and it was the song that shaped the record. It's the most important song on the record for me. It feels great to win stuff 'cause of the subject matter, but at the same time, what it's done to people is more rewarding than awards. Like I said, awards aren't always the most validating thing, so the fact that Helena touched so many lives, even in death, I think that is really what's amazing about it.

/

Matt Schichter Interview - 11/30/05

0:00-0:28, 13:11-13:16

Interviewer: First "Helena" 'cause that's my favorite song on the record. Gerard: Thank you Interviewer: Why don't you tell us a bit about the song, I know you wrote it about your grandma, not many people know that. Gerard: Yeah, me and Mikey's grandma passed away, um actually after the initial writing period for Revenge, and it had a very definite concept at that point, but after she died, it all kind of changed and became about really missing her. And that's really what a lot of the record is about. Interviewer: Do you still think about that when you sing the song live? Gerard: Yeah, that song in particular.

Interviewer: Song you've written you're most proud of? Gerard: "Helena." Mikey: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with that one as well.

/

Spin 2005 Readers' Poll and Interview - Dec 2005

Page 2, paragraph 17-20

Interviewer (SpinMag): "Helena" was voted Best Song of 2005 by our readers. Did you ever think a song about a grandmother would become so huge? Gerard (NotOkayHelena): I did have some sense it was going to be huge, but it almost had to be to honor a woman so amazing. When she died, I told her we would make a record so fucking loud that she would hear it all the way in heaven...ot wherever it is you go. I was worried about it being huge because it was so personal--I didn't want to exploit my pain and her death. Interviewer: Did people accuse you of that? Gerard: Not to my knowledge. I was more concerned with my own accusations. You can't be in something unique and creative if you give a fuck what people say about you.

/

MTV Interview - Aug-Oct 2006

3:09-3:13

Gerard: (Drawing parallels between Jawbreaker's Dear You and Three Cheers) Like "Helena" is basically "Accident Prone," in a lot of ways.

/

Metal Hammer Interview - 1/11/07

Page 5, paragraph 3

Gerard: [The Black Parade is a] really personal record; this is us laying it out there. It changed things. It's not so much that as when I was doing 'Helena' though. That was a lot tougher because I wasn't really ready to deal with my grandmother's death so head-on, and then when we put the record out it was, 'OK, you're going to be dealing with this for the next eight months.' There was no death that spawned this record."

/

Kerrang #1142 - 1/17/07

Page 14, paragraph 4

Written in tribute to Gerard and Mikey's grandmother, the opener to 'Three Cheers...' was initially painful for Gerard to sing. "I remember one critic said something like, 'Why would you want to watch this guy run around onstage whining about his nana'. How fucking shitty a human being do you have to be to say that?

/

Metal Edge Magazine Interview - 3/10/07

Page 6, paragraph 6

Gerard: I was surprised, but we always knew that song had a lot of power because of what it was about. The video itself was like a time stamp. I was just excited to see something like that on MTV. It was a funeral--it was a rock band playinga funeral--you never saw anything like that on MTV before, and it was just awesome to see that. To so directly make people face death and look at death in that way--as not just a tragic thing, [but] as a celebratory thing at the same time, and have people to actually face that, I thought it was pretty incredible.

/

Ultimate Guitar Interview - 4/28/07

Paragraph 10

Interviewer: How would you describe the previous album musically? How did you intend to make The Black Parade different? Ray: I think in Revenge you're hearing a band that necessarily didn't find its legs yet. It didn't find what it truly was. I think that there are flashes of that in songs like Helena and Not Okay and some of the other tracks. But I think it was our first record that we had written with Frank. At that point, he had been touring with us for a while but still kind of a new member. The way that me and him kind of played together was very different from the way we play together now.

/

Kerrang Podcast Interview - 11/22/10

5:56-6:10

Gerard: (Responding to the prompt: if you could put one song in a time capsule to represent the band, what would it be and why?) Probably "Helena?" (points the mic towards Mikey) Mikey: Yeah, "Helena," definitely, absolutely. Yeah, that song I think encapsulates everything about us, and, you know, sonic quality, message, everything about it, yeah.

/

Grammy Museum Interview - 1/26/11

4:51-4:57

Frank: (In response to the question: what songs have been emotionally therapeutic for you, Frank specifically talking about how songs carry emotions and associations that arise during the writing process sometimes before hearing the lyrics and how the lyrical message of a song may differ from his personal connections with it, see 4:19 for more context) Like "Helena" I'm thinking about, you know, my wife, like when I play those parts.

/

The First Ever Podcast - 3/16/22

1:23:08-1:23:32

Frank: I remember recording with Mike Plotnikoff, who was the engineer for Howard Benson (producer of Three Cheers), and we went into "Helena," and I played my guitar parts for the chorus of that song. And I remember them hitting the space bar, and Plotnikoff like looked at me going, "Damn, that's a fucking chorus." And I remember being like "Yes!"

/

The Daily Beast Interview - 2022

Paragraph 18

Gerard: I lost my grandmother before we started writing ‘Revenge’ and that loss really impacted me, because she had been the person to sit with me and teach me how to draw or make me go to the piano with her. And she would play and she would make me sing along with her and stuff, so that we had a really amazing relationship. So it was that loss and wanting to get over that loss and kind of triumph over that loss to kind of make her proud that drove me in songs like ‘Helena.’

/

Two Minutes to Late Night Interview - 8/15/22

17:48-18:08

Frank: There's a few songs off [Three Cheers] that we do-- have played a lot, you know. I mean, of course like "Helena" or "Not Okay." And what's funny about say like songs like that, or even "Venom," that we've done so often, you would think that they would start to get unfun or annoying, and they don't.

/

One Life One Chance Interview - 10/31/22

39:11-39:45

Frank: And then "Helena" they were like "Alright, we're gonna put this as like a second single." And I remember there was a time like when the-- they put the single out, and there was like a week or 2 where like we got sat down by like the radio people, and they were like "Hey, you know, we tried really hard. We're sorry." And we were like "What? Sorry? This is amazing!" And then all of a sudden, like the next week, it took off, and it became like the bigger-- it became bigger than "Not Okay," and that was like-- I think everyone's surprised that that happened, and we were just like "Okay," like-- "hey, listen, either way is great."

[daddywarbats]

I really want to draw Batfam stuff again but tbh some of the comments I see people leave on other artist’s stuff serve as a pretty telling temperature gauge for Toxic Behavior Afoot and that does give me cause for pause in a major way.

[menelaus-blue]

i am very upset bc i submitted a steamy lesbian essay about carmilla as part of my PORTFOLIO to apply for a steamy sex magazine and they emailed me back like “yeah sorry do you have anything else for your portfolio bc we can’t publish anything with quotes from other authors in it due to potential legal repercussions” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. YOU ARE NOT PUBLISHING MY PORTFOLIO U FUCKING DING DONG DO YOU KNOW WHAT A PORTFOLIO IS. PLUS CARMILLA IS 150 YEARS OLD I DONT THINK JOSEPH SHERIDAN LEFANU IS GONNA HOP OUT THE FUCKING GRAVE AND SUE YOUR ONLINE LITERARY MAGAZINE FOR INCLUDING TWO LINES OF HIS WRITING

[introvertpanda]

The A-Team

S05E09 - Point of No Return

[unproduciblesmackdown]

like hearing an autistic person talking abt realizing like "oh so friendships for some ppl don't involve always having to maintain a performance" and going damn right yeah and now "oh so friendships for some ppl involve their getting to expect that the other ppl will be interested in them and provide support" like huh go figure. more surprising like oh right i guess i always felt like interactions require maintaining a performance that can only go wrong (generally true; like there's no "well you're ruining things by keeping ppl from being the Real You so just Be Yourself" like a] masking isn't Real or done by Yourself or b] like if you unmask people like you now & ableism is over, b/c it was your fault for reacting to it in the first place) & thus also that i should be interested & provide support but not expect that in turn / the sense as well that you are/can only come up short and have things to make up for anyways while lucky whoever's even providing the time of day

then it's always an Exercise to go "oh right well beyond going [my god autistic character] the whole time, what Things re: winston billions was i still not quite seeing as as unusual / Not Good as they are. even for billions" like sure noticing he's holding on to the hopes of some kind of positive / actual relationship w/rian for like year 950 & this manifesting with the Determined Friendliness but zooming in like oh i guess that adamant amicability sure involves winston suppressing a negative reaction to negative treatment and yet still hoping for an improvement, which like, was always Possible but a) hinged on rian simply choosing to change how she regards/treats him (or someone intervening to change the situation) & b) apparently is not going to happen. thinking like yeah that's very Friendly of him. and knowing like man winston's sure still trying to keep this friendliness offer open for like two years. but also now more specifically going like Yeah and pretty fucked then that his baseline expectations don't include that Mutual Interest & Support (though someone being abusive is definitely interested just not in any good ways. and certainly not (actually) supportive)

[impostorsshow]

Cries I'm binging Scars episodes of secret life, on episode 8 right now and the way he's so distrustful of everyone and keeps saying "no-dont- no more hurting,every time someone says [I'll help you] that they hurt me" I always see those posts about how the traffic light series is giving trauma to the characters but I NEVER WATCH THE LATER EPISODES I GET IT NOW I NEED TO GO BACK AND READ ALL OF THE TRAFFIC LIGHT FICS can someone tell me what tag its under for ao3 because ts gone through like 4 name changes