#i feel like these are a touch too fast for me but literally -5% felt too slow -_-

[sillyabtmusic]

[ID: 6 GIFs of Seoho performing their song "Now (Original Fin.K.L)" for a festival. He's wearing a black vest over no shirt, with a chain wrapped around his neck that comes down and circles his hips, and a black suit jacket over it with one side of the collar bejeweled. End ID]

(240609) Now - Seoho

[hazelfoureyes]

A Doe in Fall (part 5)

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds Part 11 - Caught Part 12 - Eddie

Part 5 Too Much

Actions famously speak louder than words, so what did you say, exactly, to Alastor with your actions that night? You were briefly rattled by what happened in the park but not for the obvious reasons. Despite everything, despite your fears, you found the situation deepening between you two when he suddenly invites to stay the night at his home. Perhaps he had fears of his own?

「Warnings/Promises: Human Alastor x Fem Burlesquer reader, No smut! That’s next part because this part was already super fucking long 😭 , but we do flirt our asses off and get taken by the hand, crying, panic attacks, discussions of murder, dead bodies, you really have to stop smoking, deer, adorably nervous Alastor, this man owns more than one mug you fucking know it」

19 days later… 😩 please don’t kill me. 5000 words here, Another like 6000 words are posting this Thursday, also tumblr wouldn’t let me post this for like an hour , just gave me error messages, I had to copy and paste 4 times so there may be some errors in here so let me know if you find spelling or format issues🙏

When he came to, momentarily either unconscious or just incapacitated as his brain started up again, he was frantic for his glasses. He could hear the sounds of a brutal death, the crunch of anger, the squish of rage. 

His eyes focused now, slightly askew and smudged glasses helping him see you clearly. 

Leaning over the man, hands red and face twisted in a marriage of fear and wrath, you were bringing a large rock down on the man’s unrecognizable face over and over and over and—

You flinched when Alastor’s hands delicately slipped down your arms and peeled your fingers from the rock.

Full body shaking, “He was going to kill you!” You said it too loud, too fast. “He was going to—,” Your breath got caught in your throat, “He wanted to— He was trying to kill you, Alastor.”

Wet with mud and blood and the rain still left on the grass, you were pulled into Alastor’s lap. He tucked your head into the crook of his neck with a small wince and hugged you. “He was. He almost did.” Low and slow, his chest rumbled when he said it. “You did such a good job.”

You looked down at your hands, but he pulled your face back up to look at his, “Always surprising me in the best ways.”

You’d forgotten already, how when adrenaline wanes you’re left with terrible tremors and a suddenly clear head. Alastor almost died. You hadn’t thought at all when it happened. Everything had taken place so fast, faster than your brain could process.

You had seen Alastor stop struggling against the man, his body went still and your eyes were blinded with tears, there was a horrible sound that may have come from you, and then there was nothing. A flash of running Colors. Distant muddled sounds.

Maybe you saw someone grab a rock. 

You might have hit the man on the back of the head. 

You think he fell down and something didn’t stop moving against him. 

Perhaps you thought if you hit him enough you could make it have not happened at all. If you killed him fast enough, Alastor would have been fine and standing.

But you weren’t sure. You blinked and Alastor was touching you and underneath you was a pulp of a man’s face. 

Alastor’s heart was racking against his ribs. Arms tightening around you unconsciously as his eyes landed on the dead man.

He’d gotten too comfortable. He pushed too hard. He wanted too much. He was too much.

He felt himself spilling over and staining your hands metaphorically and now literally.

You didn’t feel anything. Not during. Now you felt too much.

Your mind was filled with an echoing chorus of, ‘He almost killed him. He almost died. He almost killed him. He almost died. He almost died. He almost died.” 

There was a strange fear that Alastor had died, and any second you’d blink again and be alone in the trees with two dead men. You twisted in his lap,  hands rocketing to Alastor’s face and gripping the sides of his head. You were staring into his eyes, panting.

“You can’t die. I’ll—,” tears poured down your face in streams not drops. Your throat closed around the words. Short and fast, your breath ran wild. Hands tingling, your lips felt like they were pricked with a hundred tiny needles. 

Alastor pushed down his own mess of emotions, “One deep breath in.” His hands settled on yours,  still on his face. He could feel the familiar stickiness of drying blood in his hair. “Keep breathing in.” You coughed, shaking your head no. “You can, I promise it. Would I lie to you?”

You laughed, managing to catch your breath for a moment, “Y-yes.” 

“Well, now you’re adding insult to injury.” He made a show of rubbing his neck. You smacked his chest lightly, breathing in twice in a row.

He held both of your hands in both of his, “Name a time I’ve ever lied.” He distracted you but wounded himself. He could name a time.

You tried to think. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re just a really good liar.” Your voice was hoarse. 

Alastor nodded, “That’s true, there’s actually nothing I can’t do well.”

Another laugh, a cry, “Stop it.”

His warm, clean hands wiped your tears. “You’re being aggressive again, sweetheart. You know I prefer soft spoken women.”

The laughter helped break the cycle of hyperventilating. As your breathing finally got to a manageable speed you felt exhaustion deep in your bones.

All at once the sensations became prominent. Your knees were red and muddy, your hands bloody, your left side and back wet. You were sticky and sore and cold. “Alastor,” his legs were framing you, yours now folded under yourself and digging into rocks, “I wanna go home.” You adjusted his glasses, “Together.” 

If he had a reason to say no, he ignored it. 

“I thought I was the messy one.” He washed your hands with the water cans and settled you into the passenger seat of his car. Alastor took care of filling the trunk and cleaning the ground before sliding into the driver's seat.

He turned to you, his face dirty and clothes worse. You looked down at yourself; knees a color of wine, and blue dress now dyed brown.

“I know you have to get rid of him. So, I won’t ask you to sleep over. Just,” you felt sleepy, mind asking you to let it catch up, “let me take care of you for a little bit. Okay?”

His hand slipped onto your leg, he wanted to make a joke about sex or murder hoping to make you laugh again. But it was obvious he needed to be quiet, so he just nodded.

Alastor left the car on a side street behind your building. The man whose name you never asked concealed under canvas and red oil tins.

Luckily everything was clean in your apartment. It was small, just one room and a bathroom. The other apartments you’d seen had communal toilets and showers so you were quite proud of your space. You’d made it yours, gifted trinkets here and there, walls decorated with hanging dried flowers you'd had thrown at your feet. A shrine to your abilities.

You peeled off his clothes, tossing them in the kitchen sink and wiping off as much dirt as you could with a damp rag. 

Clothing hanging over the radiator, you both got into the shower. Cold and wet now hot and soaking,  you took his hands and sat you both down in the tub while the water ran down. Taking your time, you gently scratched the blood and mud from his hair and let it all wash away.

When fully cleaned and dried off he slipped on the only bit of clothing he had left, a loose pair of boxer shorts. You had a slip, silky and soft, to comfort you. Your mother wore silk, and it always made you feel safe. The way the fabric slid around its self and others, never catching or bunching up, was something you always hoped to emulate; smooth and cool, but always in need of a little caution and care.

A small bed meant for one, but you offered it. When Alastor motioned for you to slide in too, you didn’t hesitate.

Nose to nose, the room was quickly heating up with the radiator's help. 

You hadn’t been in a bed with Alastor in nearly two months, not since that first time. His words stuck to you like embroidered messages lovingly stitched into a handkerchief you didn’t want to lose. So you kept your hands between your thighs, still and away, to make sure he had space to exist in your bed.

“You saved my life.” Alastor whispered, one of you finally bringing up the obvious.

A hummed acknowledgment, “That makes us even.” He saved you before, you did the same in turn. A little piece of you worried the contract was done and he’d disappear.

“No, my dear. I owe you so much more.” A kiss to your cheek.

A terrifying thought took hold of you. “Roll over.” He looked confused but did. You were always asking him to turn away, always trying to hide your face when you said things that scared you. You hooked your arms under his and held tightly. 

“If I wasn’t there, there’s no one to have told me. How long would I have waited,” another torrent of tears into his back you couldn’t keep in if you tried, “at the phone booth for you to call in the morning.”

You were crying like a child, uncontrolled and with your entire body. Pathetic. 

He had never had someone to worry about those details. Everyone truly close to him was dead. Until now, of course. 

Of course.

What a natural addition you provided to him. He thought it like that it was a long standing fact.

He hugged your arms tighter to his chest. 

A shiver of fear in the warm bed as you continued, “I want to be there. With you. Always.” You gathered your courage. Shields completely down, if just for a moment, “I know there was nothing right about tonight but,” you wiped your tears off his back with your palm, reabsorbing that pain before he could soak it in, “Please. Don’t shut me out now. I’ll go to hell tomorrow for you but please don’t damn me to picking up a newspaper and seeing your name in the headlines; Learning you died in block letters for a nickel. I wouldn’t survive it.”

You didn’t want to meet his eyes, worried rejection was waiting for you there, so you’d asked him to turn so you could hide. He picked up your hands and kissed your knuckles one by one. “Please don’t say things like that outloud. Things like ‘go to hell’ and ‘tomorrow’ so close together. The spirits can hear you.” A kiss to your palm, “And I wouldn’t dare shut you out.” He couldn’t. The very idea of going back to how he was before, alone and mumbling to the dead, made his heart race with his own panic. If you disappeared tomorrow he was scared to think what would happen to him. “Plus, I know you’d just find me anyway. You always do.”

Had you not been there, he would have still tried to kill the man. Waiting in an alley or for a walk home through an empty space. You weren’t at fault. He’d been hurt before, but this was by far the worst situation he had been in. But he would have been in it regardless of your participation. Alastor pressed his lips into your hand, smelling the soap you’d washed him with. 

You hadn’t hesitated. He had thought you would run, that he’d slip away into death and you’d book it to safety. Something he never planned to ask you to do, to kill someone, you’d done it for him when it was the most selfless option. Did he mean so much to you? He wanted to ask, but if you said anything other than an immediate yes he feared he would turn to a pillar of salt and crumble.

If you both could find the courage to just look at each other you’d have all your answers. But you couldn’t. The fear still too strong. So you changed the topic for a chance at an escape.

A small confession, to turn the conversation away from death. “After our dates, your cologne always lingers on my clothes. Sometimes I just fall asleep in them. When I wake up, my pillow smells like you.” Your body formed against his back, pressing as tightly as you could. How was that less embarrassing than everything else you’d said when it was arguably more pathetic?

He was quiet. You worried you’d pushed too far. Alastor worried he’d already hurt you too much.

“If you asked me,” he spoke slowly, hands resting on yours above his heart, a deep breath, “I’d stop.” He would. 

But, “I’d never ask that of you.” You said it so quickly, like blinking or yawning it happened without you needing to think about it. Alastor did something he felt he needed to do, you saw that look in his eyes before and understood this was Alastor at his truest. And the people he killed weren’t good people. He provided a service to New Orleans that no one appreciated.

He smiled against your palm, making sure you felt it, “Why are you so good to me?”

Without hesitation, Because I love you.

After a beat of silence, “Because you know where I live, obviously.”

A huff, “And where you work.” 

“And the park where I like to get fingered.”

Finally, his unburdened laugh, “I didn’t expect you to say that.” That sound of his joy bounced off the thin walls around you both. He rarely expected anything you said or did. It was part of your charm. Normally he could predict what people would say like reading a bad story, but you were something else. Effortlessly entertaining, was that a compliment? He was sure you’d say no and make that face you always did, something between a pout and a glare, between sad and angry. 

He had been asking genuinely. Why were you so good to him? Why so patient? Why care at all? 

“Can you sleep? Or do you need to go?” 

Alastor thought about it, if he left early enough he could still get home in time to empty the trunk. He hummed an affirmative, when he didn’t move you understood it was the former. He didn’t want to go. He needed more time. He needed to feel you nearby. An odd sense that if he pulled away now the thread holding you two together would pull him apart at the seams with the distance. 

You would think nightmares would plague you after killing someone in cold blood, but no. You practically killed Tommy, when you considered it thoroughly. And while this night was not a joy, you had defended yourself and Alastor. You didn’t feel bad. You didn’t regret it. You were just scared you did a bad job. That you’d get caught. 

The kind of dreams you had were different kinds of scary. Of Alastor always leaving a room when you entered, of falling off the stage and landing too far down, of waking up to feel Alastor cold beside you. 

When you did wake, your arms were still tight around him and he was warm. Your forehead rested between his shoulder blades. You didn’t feel different this time, you didn’t feel changed like after Tommy.

Alastor always had nightmares so he wasn’t surprised to have them in your bed. He dreamt he awoke on the ground, the man was gone but you were there broken into several pieces.

Had it been a dream though? 

After he dressed, you brushing his hair over a shared cup of coffee (you only had the single mug), you walked him to his car. The sun was nearly up and luckily no one else was. You had just wrapped a coat around your slip, not exactly acceptable clothing for being in public.

A shared kiss, small and chaste, Alastor’s mind elsewhere. He opened the door but stopped and turned back to you. It was always in these moments before you two parted that he felt the most frantic. 

“I know we love talking in circles and making jokes, but I have to ask you, bluntly. You killed a man. Are you alright?” When you only blinked, he quickly added, “It’s okay if you’re not.” His expression was pure worry, furrowed brows and flat mouth. “Nothing will change if you say you’re not.”

When you started to smile, Alastor thought he had lost his mind. The sun was rising behind you, making the shadows on your face slowly shift. He took a second to take in the scene. Ankles naked with sockless shoes. To your right was a trunk full of a dead man. And you just smiling like he’d made a joke. Which he explicitly said he wasn’t going to do.

“I don’t feel like I killed anyone.” You said it with a levity that made him glance around, wondering if you’d hit your head a little too hard earlier, “I feel like I stopped someone from killing you. Which feels,” you fought to suppress your smile from growing any further, “kinda good. Like I’m strong. I’m just scared I made a mistake and police will find out. I’m terrified we’ll be seperated. But I don’t feel bad.”

A normal man would be deeply concerned. You didn’t feel bad? For killing a man with a rock? Arguably one of the most brutal ways to murder a person. A normal man would worry he would be next.

Luckily for you both, Alastor was not a normal man. He stared at your face, trying to discern any hints of deceit there before he fell into the comfort of trust.

Your pinky came out, “I’m fine, and if I’m ever not, I will tell you. Promise.” His eyes left your face to stare at the tiny digit, “If I break the promise, you get to break the pinky.”

“Pinkies are useless, we should use a finger that matters.” He offered his index. You let yourself laugh, hooking your pointer finger with his.

Smile to smile, he exhaled his stress and slipped into his normal demeanor, “No worries, darling! No one will ever know what happened to him.” He leaned beside you and patted the trunk. “Leave it to me.”

Alastor drove away with the man, ready to disappear the body and try to sleep before work if possible. A nagging still sat in his stomach, a little pull that maybe you’d change your mind. 

He asked you the next morning, on your routine call, if he could stop by the theater when he finished with work that night. No reason in particular. He’d pull into the side street, and you could run out to see him.

When he arrived, you were in your stage outfit waiting to greet the crowd. Alastor smiled, “The prettiest bird I’ve ever seen!”

“A bird? Alastor just ‘pretty’ woulda been a fine compliment.” 

He offered an apology by way of kiss, soft hands coming to your cheek as he leaned against the door of his car. “I just wanted to see you. Steal a kiss before you stole some hearts. May I return tomorrow?”

Ah, that feeling again. Stupid school girl with her first crush, her first taste of love. “I wouldn’t complain.” 

That flow of conversation eased Alastor, things felt normal already. For you, they were. A small worry remained he may begin to act differently but the only difference was he seemed to be embracing you deeper. 

After your delivered kiss, you took the stage like a woman reborn. The warmth of the light felt like the sun. Pointed toes as you moved along the stage, hips loose and smile coy. 

As you looked around the backlit crowd you didn’t search for a good mark. The times you did play a man’s attention for Alastor were different, it felt like art when you lured men into Alastor’s claws.

A shake of your feathered fans, a very controlled lowering of your head, you let a hip rock out into view. A little flash of inner thigh. Then, your favorite part. One hand gripped your fans as you them with the aide of practiced fingers. Free hand undoing your still remarkably heavy and glittering bra and handing it behind the curtain.

Surprise reveal, a naked magic trick done behind distracting whirling feathers. Arms open, fans high, you waited for the applause to die down. Deep breaths were not possible, adrenaline and the weight of your costume keeping you from hiding the heaving of your chest. 

The whistles were your favorite. You couldn’t imagine Alastor whistling but you were sure it would be flawless in its ability to capture your attention. 

“Anyone wanna smoke? I don’t want to go into the alley alone.” You asked the room, several girls glancing your way and shaking their heads no as you hurried back in from your set.

“Just take the fire escape to the roof. That’s where we’ve been smoking since Mr. Brady said it was dangerous at night.” Florence was normally a perfect smoking partner, never talking too much. The name Brady made your stomach flip though, you had forgotten about him for a second. You’d managed to avoid him until Tommy’s bloody trail went cold, but you knew he still stalked around the jazz and music district.

A dancer laughed, “Nighttime has always been dangerous for women.”

Someone you didn’t see added, “Fuck, daytimes not safe either.” 

You climbed the creaky and seemingly forgotten-about fire escape to the roof. The breeze hit your face before your feet even left the metal railing. 

It was… a roof. Grey painted floors and brick sides. Nothing special, but you could see the bowl full of discarded cigarettes near the front of the building. You looked over the short wall that edged the front, you were able to see the pigeon shit covered marquee. What an unattractive view, the lights flashing out from beneath actual shit.

There was a metaphor there, you were sure. 

Looking around, there were a few wicker chairs hidden in the shadow of the street’s lights, thankfully upside down to keep them clean from the birds.

If more people used roofs instead of alleys Alastor would be out of luck. Tommy was difficult enough with a staircase, the fire escape would have been the nail in that coffin. 

It had been a lovely night, absolutely jarring compared to the night before. You leaned back in the chair, you knew you weren’t the best at saying what you meant. Especially when the words you offered could be used to hurt you. Words of affection and love, when true, were daggers given handle-first to someone else. 

So you hoped Alastor could guess how much he meant to you. You shouldn’t need to say it, right? Actions speak louder than words. You bludgeoned a man to death for what you had thought was a lost cause. It had seemed Alastor was already dead when you first brought down the rock. 

Diamonds are rocks, you considered. The most expensive costume the theater had was peacock feathered with shining crystals. You wanted to say you felt like a peacock, spirit large and wide and colorful. But those were males. Of course they were. The animal kingdom had males compete for mates with pretty colors and lovely songs. Now ladies pranced around in painted faces and short dresses. You didn’t feel pale or small like the ‘fairer sex’ peacock.

You felt like the swan. Vicious and beautiful, not out shone by anyone.

Well there was someone you’d allow to shine brighter. Someone you’d happily let take the lead. You’d thought letting a man walk in front of you was a sign of subservience. It hadn’t ever occurred to you that there could be respect in trusting someone else to go ahead. That the act of going first could be for protection and not power.

“Hey!”

You hurried to the fire escape, “yeah?”

“There’s a man asking for you. Tall guy named Frank?”

Frank?

Oh, Frank.

You’d forgotten about him. He’d left months ago. He was a whale, rich and generous. You took a moment to consider sitting down with him, smiling and laughing at his jokes, letting his hand settle on your thigh. It had been weeks since you entertained scamming anyone, and now you couldn’t even stomach the idea of faking interest in another man. Frank wasn’t one to scam, he just liked having a pretty lady on his arm to make him feel young and wanted, and in exchange you got into private parties and were gifted jewelry and clothing.

“Tell him I’m busy and send him off.” You hollered down. You could buy your own clothes. 

“Did he leave?” Alastor asked you the next morning, you leaning against the glass phone booth in the early morning light.

Your finger wrapped around the phone cord, “No of course not! They never do. I snuck out the back.”

There was a hum, “Well my dear, you’ve offered me a wonderful transition into my next question.” Alastor was sitting at his kitchen table, nervously turning his coffee cup around in circles, “Would you like to come over tomorrow night? I can pick you up after your show.”

Like a glacier drifting away from shore, you very slowly crouched down in the booth. “To your home?” 

“No, to Alabama.” He waited a beat, “Yes of course my home. I can show you what happens after I drive away.” A cheeky smile evident through his voice.

You pressed the phone receiver into your chest, teeth chewing on your bottom lip. What happens when he drives away? So…where the bodies go. But most importantly, the biggest part of this—where he lives. So much can be gleaned about someone from their home. A bookshelf alone could make or break an attraction. You brought the receiver back to your mouth. “Lovely! Sure thing— Alastor. Yes.” you almost added on an awkward nickname like daddy-o or mister man, like an idiot, because your brain was misfiring like you’d seen him in the sunlight again.

Ah, you could see his bed. 

Where he slept.

Did he ever dream of you?

What if it was terribly dirty? Could you still love him if he was a slob? 

“I’m quite far from downtown, pack an overnight bag, okay?” He stopped fidgeting with the mug. When the call ended he sat at the table for some time, staring around the kitchen. The home was large by city standards, but it was old. His mother’s charm was evident through every part. A finger scratched at the wooden table, heavy and solid. Why was his heart racing? 

He walked to the screened back door, looking from the weathered patio steps to the greenhouse. 

No one had ever been to his home. Ever. A teensy part of him was panicking. Was this a mistake? Was he going to fuck up the budding relationship? Throw off the peace of his safest place?

Budding. Okay that was ridiculous even for him. The kind of intimacy gained through murder did not allow any union to be called budding. He’d shared pieces of himself no other living soul knew of. Your image of him was possibly even more complete than his own mother had held, even though he tried to always be the most sincere with her. Even people he did care for and consider close friends had never knew where he lived. Never heard what kept him up at night. Never learned his distaste for a random lay.

Opening the screen door with a signature creak, the sound many southerners could call comforting, he walked to the greenhouse.

The newest part of the property, the glass walled structure was built shortly after his mother’s death. Double doors: locked. Just beyond the glass was a forest of plants and potted trees. They had no need for a greenhouse, but Alastor had a need for them.

He set about preparing his home for another occupant, a task that brought him such a shock of joy and anxiety he began to wonder who he was. New sheets on the bed, extra pillows set against his wooden headboard. Large glass jar in the backyard full of water and tea bags.

It was also unexpected he was thinking so much of his mother. In a perfect world she’d be there to greet you. Though if she was alive, he wouldn’t have been in that alley that night. He made a mental note to not mention his mother, at least not as much as he was remembering her as he walked around the two story home tidying.

Would he have met you if he wasn’t a killer? 

A flicker of fear was quickly extinguished by romance. Definitely. You both ran in the same scenes. He’d seen you before that night, he just never approached you. He hadn’t anticipated how much more you were than the facade you put on. Nothing about your sweet face said, ‘I have a high tolerance for murder.’

Alastor spent the day at work physically present but mentally pacing his living room. He nodded along to discussions of who was to be live on set next, smile never faltering as he worried if he had breakfast foods. He rarely ate breakfast, did you? How had he not thought to ask. Sloppy.

The only outward sign he was feeling any stress was the tapping of his finger on his desk, which he hadn’t even noticed until the stage manager commented.  

“Alastoooor,” her voice was high, like it seemed many women’s voices were recently. Was it a trend? “Impatient? Hot date with a young lady this evening?”

While she meant well, she always pried, always asked questions he didn’t appreciate. 

Alastor shook his head, smile strained. A perceptive person would have picked up on it, but Brenda was not perceptive.

“Oh.” A noticeable disappointment, “That’s boring.”

Actually on second thought maybe she didn’t mean well.

“I’ve had too much coffee, is all, Brenda.” He pulled his hand into his lap. “Was there anything you needed?” 

“No,” she pouted, much less endearing than you.

If he murdered purely for fun Debra would be dead before sunset. Unfortunately her only crime was being remarkably annoying.

Alastor waited behind the theater, where it was less likely any staff would see him. It was still important to avoid connecting the two of you together, at least at your workplace yet. 

He was quick to grab your bag for you.

“Not the trunk, please.” You said, it took him a second to catch the joke. He set it on the back seat after opening your door for you. You’d only been in his car a few times but he never failed to be a perfect gentleman. 

Your palms were sweating, when his hand rested on your leg while he drove you resisted the urge to hold it. Instead you slipped yours under his. Alastor asked you about your day, about work, about if Frank came back. Typically as soon as you left the theater you were in a cone of silence until your phone call with him the next day. It was kind of nice, having someone to speak to. Before meeting him there were times you worried you’d forget how to talk naturally, how to sound like yourself.

The glowing eyes of deer popped up from the side of the road, startling you. Eerie. You held your breath, would they run, stay still, or sprint into the road.

“Is it true their antlers can break car windshields?” You asked not breaking eye contact with a doe as you drove past.

Alastor nodded, “If a buck hits your car the wrong way, not even the car will make it out of the accident.”

“Are there a lot of bucks around?”

“Will be soon, as fall— wait why am I telling you this,” he laughed, “Miss Autumn Hind already knows what makes the bucks run wild.”

You shouldn’t be smiling, it was a dumb rut joke, but it felt like a compliment. 

The car lights passed over the home as he turned into the dirt driveway. Powder blue. It wasn’t a color you associated with Alastor. He was caramel, honey, midnight blue, red. His sometimes sinister smile didn’t look quite right against powder blue. But, for a home, it was lovely.

“Is someone home?” You saw a light on in an upstairs room.

Alastor reached behind you for your bag, “No, I leave it on when I’m gone. Gives the impression that the house isn’t empty.”

A minor bit of acting, Alastor opening the door and offering to bring your bag upstairs before a tour like a good host. His anxious energy was barely contained by that grin of his. For your part you played the appropriately impressed guest.

But deep down you were very impressed. An actual house. Your mother struggled to keep apartments rented. Alastor had a home. With stairs. That went to more home, not a neighbor. What a lovely thing. What did he do with all this space?

He could probably hide quite a few bodies in there.

Alastor opened his bedroom door and motioned for you to enter.

You took in every detail as shrewdly as you could. Two circular nightstands, a wide dresser with a few framed photos and a radio. One large window facing the yard, you could see the car outside from where you were standing. “Wow a man’s bedroom. I tend to avoid these.”

“What a coincidence, so do I. Bedrooms in general, really.” He placed your bag on the dresser, offering to unpack it for you. Your smile screwed up, shaking your head no. You couldn’t imagine Alastor folding your panties and setting them into a drawer. 

Well.

“Yes please.” You took a seat on the end of his bed, watching him tenderly empty the bag before beginning to put things away like you’d come home from a trip. “A bed big enough for two people. You didn’t tell me you were a fancy man. Ooh la la.”

Alastor laughed, “Your bed was quite comfortable.” He set your dress onto a hook attached to the closet door, hands running down the fabric to straighten out the wrinkles, “But I have a feeling that had more to do with you than anything else.”

The floor was clean, the rug beneath the bed a simple but pristine white. What an odd color for a rug.  

You truly did avoid men’s homes. The power dynamic shifts too much.

“Are all men so clean?”

“Oh god no. Have you really never been to a man’s home?” Without a moment of hesitancy his long fingers flattened out your underthings and neatly folded them. You could call it erotic, knowing what else his fingers could do.

A hum, you swayed side to side, “Too much risk. I don’t know where the knife drawer is, which locks stick, what windows open all the way.” 

He set the empty bag into a reading chair in the corner, “That sounds stressful.”

You shrugged, “My mother taught me to always have an escape. From situations, from rooms, from people. Not terrible advice.”

That was true, he thought. If the few women he killed had considered that, he would be less prolific. Women tended to be easier in some regards.

Alastor finally let himself look at you sitting on his bed. Were you wearing the black garters today? He liked those. He appreciated the red dress you’d worn.

Taking off his jacket and vest, he hung them up while his eyes kept returning to you. Your legs were crossed, thighs soft and pressed together. He remembered feeling them against his ears. A little cough to clear his throat and mind.

“Are you hungry?”

You werent, but you weren’t ready for sleep either, so you asked for some bread and butter. Alastor sat beside you at the table, watching you look around. It didn’t look like a killer's home. 

“Ya know, I was going to rob you. I had been wanting to talk to you, before that guy caught me off guard when I was smoking.” You said it easily. 

He smiled, “Oh, why’d you change your mind?”

“Well, you slit a man’s throat in front of me.”

“Tsk tsk, you give up too easily, my dear.”

Salted butter, soft bread. Simple. Happy. “You were so handsome-,”

“We’re?”

A snort of a laugh, rolling your eyes dramatically, “and you looked well off. I was searching the room for the lights reflecting off of your glasses all night.”

Alastor grimaced, fighting the well of his ego, and leaned on his elbows, “Is it too morbid to say I’m glad that man tried to kill you? I like this timeline more than being robbed and never seeing you again.”

“That’s very selfish. I would have enjoyed chasing you down and finessing your wallet off you.” You set the glass lid back over the butter dish, content with the snack. “Some men come back actually and confront me at the theater.”

He howled. The idea was ridiculous, “Seriously? Why not just tell the cops.”

“Men don’t like telling other men they got taken for a ride by a dame.”

Alastor stood, “What would you have done if you had robbed me and I marched into the theater demanding my cash back.” It took a second to realize he was being serious in wanting you to play along. 

You popped the last piece of bread into your mouth and stood too, “You rake!” A fake smack to his chest, “I booted you to the curb! You had more hands than an octopus!” 

Alastor tried to stay in character but his smile kept cracking through his serious face. “And my wallet? None of my hands can find it.” You took a few steps back, feigning shock at the accusation.

“Sir! You were so drunk I’m not surprised you lost it.” When Alastor closed the space between you with two wide steps and pulled you into his chest you giggled, hitting softly at him, “You should be ashamed of yourself. Trying to take advantage,” his hands wandered down your hips, making your voice catch in your throat, “of a good woman like me.”

His mouth came to your ear, “Well, miss, I think you owe me the opportunity to try again.”

You went stiff against him, the sudden turn of his voice into seduction taking you by surprise, “If you were a real mark, I’d punch you in the face for saying that.”

“But for me?” Breath against your neck.

Your hands slid up his chest and to his collar, pulling him down and into a kiss. His smile spread across your lips. 

His mouth stayed against your cheek as he pulled you into a hug, “Ready for bed?”

“Are you sleepy, hun?” You pulled away, a sincerely worried face. Two nights now you’d interrupted his normal routine.

Alastor’s eyes seemed to sparkle behind his glasses, head shaking, “No, not at all.” You felt the heat rise up your face. Wanting to avoid assumptions, you tried to temper your expectations.

His hand pulled you toward the stairs, you dragging your feet, “Did you want to show me around?”

“In the daylight.” He led you up the stairs and to the right.

“Oh okay….”, your mind was reeling, mouth dry. No dead body in sight. No blood. You hadn’t pressed him or asked for anything. Maybe he just wanted a good cuddle, or some kisses. You often enjoyed necking near the car before he would go home. Right. Let him lead.

You followed him, letting him guide you hand in hand back to his bedroom.

ᡣ𐭩ˋ°•*⁀➷ masterlist

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar,@straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay , @asleeponelmstreet , @tremendoushearttaco , @mutifandomkid , @sapphirecaelis , @itzzzkiramylove@saccharine-nectarine , @viannasthings , @looking1016 , @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer , @blakeaha , @astraechos , @reath-solia ,

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan

@faeoffaith , @sailorsmouth , @jeannyjaykaydeh , @jyoongim , @cosmic-lavender , @saturn-alone , @lustylita , @radio-darling , @kaylopolis , @dickmastersworld , @leviskittywh0re , @asianfrustration13 @alittletiredcry @sirens-and-moonflowers @alastorssimp , @angelxx7 , @katgirl05 , @impulsivethoughtsat2am , @sugurubabe , @zzzykiek , @phamtasic

[gavisfanta]

gavi with a breeding kink aftet seeing you playing with his nieces and nephews (for the sake of this just pretend like he has some) 😮‍💨

BEDTIME - GAVI

summary: gavi and you are babysitting and after you put the kids to bed gavi tells you about his desire

a/n: changed it a bit, hope you dont mind anon

warning: smut, not proofread

"I think it's slowly time to go to bed." You mumbled while you stared at the small boy infront of you.

You and Gavi had to babysit some family friend's kids. Because they didn't want you to be alone and lonely while the kids sleep they asked you to invite Gavi too.

So now you were done playing with them and it had turned 8pm.

"Okay." The younger boy nodded his head. He was around the age of 5, but the girl who was 8 and very distracted by the tv didn't wanna go.

"Can I stay here?" She asked and looked at you.

"No, come on it's time for bed." You stood up while Gavi remained sitting on the sofa. She looked at the spanish midfielder and then stood up.

"Can you come with me?" Maria asked and then Gavi flashed you a quick smile.

"I'll put them both to sleep, don't worry." Gavi winked at you and you still followed him upstairs. The younger boy whose name was Ale ran to his room which was right next to Marias, the girls.

Maria was obsessed with Gavi the second she saw him. She literally played with him all day and when the two of you sat down outside in the garden she even kissed his cheek.

You knew that she had that one little girl crush on your boyfriend like the one you always had on the lifeguards at the beach.

Trying to impress them when you had no chance due to them being 3 times your age. But you rather considered it cute, you also thought about it that a long time ago, you used to be like that too.

Ale also loved Gavi, but he liked you a bit more, however when it came to playing football he of course chose Gavi.

And after Gavi managed to put the kids to sleep he made his way downstairs again.

So sitting on the couch, complete silence in the house, Gavi turned to you.

"That was awesome of you, I didn't know you were that good with kids." Gavi smiled at you and your cheeks started to color themselves red.

"I don't know" You shrugged your shoulders, Gavi then got closer to you and leaned to your neck.

"Imagine if those were our children. Imagine you with a baby inside your belly," He paused for a second." my baby." Gavi whispered against your neck. His hot breath sent shivers down your spine and his hands started roaming your body.

"Fuck." You muttered under your breath as you threw back your head and Gavi started planting sloppy kisses along your vein on your neck.

He then pulled away after some time snd you two made eye contact. Without a thought your lips collided into eachother and started moving at a fast pace.

Eventually you sat into his lap, feeling the tent in his joggers. Then he pulled away.

"You really wanna do it in here?" Gavi raised his brows while he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

"You turn me on, I can't wait for them to get home with my dick hard." Gavi whispered aggressively and you shook your head while smiling a little.

"You're an idiot." You stood up for a second so that he could take off his boxers and sweatpants.

"Take off your pants, if so, we won't have much time to get changed." Gavi nudged his head towards you and you also took off your pants, leaving you only in your red thong and him with nothing covering his lower body.

"You wanna have my babies amor?" Gavi teased. You felt your arousal getting hotter when he looked up at you, walking over to him and sitting down on his lap, a thin and wet piece of fabric separating you two.

However, you didn't wait long until you lifted up your hips and then Gavi pulled down his shorts to his knees. His hard dick basically jumping out of his boxers, standing tall below your core. Gavi then grabbed it and with his other hand he rubbed his fingers along your folds. You whimpered at the touch and you slowly slid down his dick, Gavi holding it at the bottom to stabilize it.

"I'm gonna give you so many children, you'd look so hot pregnant." Gavi whispered into your ear. You whimpered quietly as he then grabbed your hips and moved you up and down carefully, slow at first and then his pace speeding up.

A light and silent sound of skin clapping against eachother lingered around in the room. The only thing you prayed for was that the children wouldn't wake up.

You accidentally moaned loudly to which Gavi responded with sticking two of his fingers into your mouth. Your tongue swirled around them, wetting them in your Salvia. His hand then slipped down to your clit and started rubbing it in figures of eight.

You moaned against his skin as you lowered your head into the crook of his shoulder.

He kept thrusting up into you until your legs began to shake and the warm knot in your abdominal kept growing. Gavi noticed the way you clenched around him and only fastened his pace.

Eventually you both came, his dick shooting ropes of his cum into your pussy as you sunk down on him, moaning and whining.

Hs threw his head back as he tried to catch his breath. "You gonna have my children hm?" He asked, he was so drunk from the orgasm that he forgot that you're on birth control. But maybe he just ignored it.

"Now let's get you cleaned up without waking up the children." Gavi said after a few minutes.

As you two cleaned up a bit and got dressed you sat down on the couch again and only 15 minutes later your family's friends came home.

"Thank you so much for paying attention to the kids." The mother thanked you two as you stood at the door.

"Oh no worries at all." You smiled and the both of you then went to the car.

"I just hope the kids wont tell her about the noise the monster under her bed made." Gavi joked and you gave him a weird look.

"What noise?" You knitted your eyebrows together and the next second Gavi started to intimidate you moaning. You immediately smaked his chest with your hand and looked the other way while he kept laughing.

"You're my favorite monster, if that makes you feel better."

[jiwon1es]

` wedding : jang wonyoung

summary: your girlfriend was never good at keeping secrets, this time not only she catch attention to both of you but she reveals your plans to future.

pairing: jang wonyoung x ive!reader

ive's live was being protagonized by 04 line, already having too much clips since the beginning of it. starship was pretty much careful about them, something about their chemistry and their popular personalities was a thing they needed to take care of, not because the four of you would start some kind of scandal but because you were too much. loud, chaotic, funny, sometimes even forgetting that you were literally idols and you had an image to protect. you were almost fans favorite. on top of that, you were the two popular ships within the group. lizrei and wonyyn quickly became a hot trend the moment you started the live.

wonyoung, who was sitting on your left, was having quite a hard time trying not to look at you with literally her natural heart eyes, whenever you were talking about something you remembered or telling something to dive, even when you just giggle at their comments, wonyoung was mesmerized. her hands found the way to touch you underneath the table, leaving a hand on top of your leg, a habit of hers.

wonyoung gets anxious when she's right next to you and can't touch you. she needs to place her hand on any part of your body to feel safe, whether is your waist, your leg, softly gripping on your clothes, holding hands and stuff like that. some curious dive had notice her hand on your leg and were talking about it but nothing really caught attention. not until miss jang wonyoung screwed it up again.

while talking about christmas and how it was such a holiday filled with love, liz read a comment.

diveinttoive: did you ever plan to get married?

"oh, i think i never really thought about it like that." liz answered.

"yeah me too but yn does for sure. that's even her new year's wish." rei spilled, smiling at you.

"i mean, a ring would look very cute on my finger." you said as you were showing your hand to the camera, having a ring already that wonyoung gave you the day you became girlfriends.

"but you have one." liz pointed out.

"yes, it was a gift from wony. a promise ring." the girl named smiled proudly at the fact. "but i want the engagement ring. that would be so cute." you pouted, caressing the finger where you would place it.

"i think i would look cute as your bridesmaid."

"i think that the five of us would look cute as the bridesmaid." liz added to rei's comment.

"four." wonyoung corrected.

"huh?"

"four of you. i'm not the bridesmaid, i am the bride."

"but i though yn was the one getting married?" liz was confused.

there were almost 5 seconds of pure silence that felt like hell when they both realized what they said.

"so... you're marrying me?" you leaned in the table, head resting in your arm, teasing wonyoung with the most beautiful eyes.

"no—" you raised your eyebrows. "i mean! yes... no!"

rei and liz couldn't hold their laughter at their usually calm friend now getting the blush of her life.

ggaeulsunbbae: wow wonyoung never beating the gay allegations huh

kurakurannie: did this really just happen?

yujinniesbae: they're cute UGH.

"dive are getting wild." liz said while reading the screen.

"wonyoungie are you okay?" rei laughed.

yes, wonyoung couldn't stop the blushing or her heart almost escaping from her chest from beating that fast. you caressed her back, drawing circles trying to calm her down.

"alright, what about you two getting married?" you said, redirecting the target to both liz and rei so that you two could breath.

"wait— what?" liz got nervous.

. . .

"you might got us in trouble, did you know that?" you asked your girlfriend.

now that cameras were off, you were laying down in bed, cuddling wonyoung as she was in top of you like she always do when she needs your kisses and caresses.

"i know!" she sighed. "i just— i just wanted to let them know."

"know what, baby?"

"that we are getting married." she pouts, looking up right in your eyes.

you bite your lip to fight the urge to kiss her, but then you remember. no cameras. so you do, you give her a small kiss and you feel how wonyoung is melting under your hold.

"they're gonna see it someday, i know."

she smiles and it makes your heart feel so warm and safe. you were totally looking forward for the day you could see wonyoung in a long pretty white dress and finally getting to call her your wife.

[norizz-nation]

Reader rides charles

This is something I need right now, girl 😮‍💨🤌🏼

Smells like sex ❤️

Summary: you always wanted to ride charles and he always gets you what you want

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, praise kink, dacryphilia, overstimulation, daddy kink, light choking, biting, breeding kink

The whole room was smelling like sex. Loud whimpers from charles’ mouth filled the room perfectly. You couldn’t help but let your head fall back, closing your eyes shut as you kept on jumping on his dick. You always wanted to ride charles but you were just too shy to admit it and when you did, it turned out like this.

And you were loving it. Every little touch made you go crazy.

“Look at me babygirl” he said, breathing heavily as he guided your hips up and down his dick so then you dont mess up the rhythm. You bit on your lip and looked down at him. Your whole body was sweating. So was charles’. “Thats my good girl” he said, smirking at you. You whined out when you felt charles hit you in the perfect spot.

The spot that made your whole body shake. The spot that made you cum uncontrollably.

Your mouth hung open as your eyes rolled to the back. “Are you gonna cum babygirl?” He asked breathlessly as he bit on his lower lip and furrowed his brows. You just nodded your head and closed your eyes shut. The look on charles’ face was enough to make you cum. “Aweh babygirl. Cum for me, be a good little girl” he said as he guided your hips in a fast pace. “Ohh fuck fuck daddy!” You screamed out as a tear rolled down your cheek. You let out a loud moan as you came.

Your legs started to shake uncontrollably as you rested your hands on his abs, supporting you from melting in his touch. Your chest heaved up and down as you took long breaths. Trying to come down from your high. It was so euphoric, you probably forgot your own name.

“You’re such a good girl for me” he said, as he brushed your hair that sticked to your face because of the sweat. Your cheeks were red when you heard charles praise you like that. He then grabbed you by your jaw and pulled you close to him, his dick still inside of you. Filling you full. “Now be a good little girl again and ride me till i cum. Daddy needs to cum too right babygirl?” He asked, smirking at you devilishly.

You whined at his words. You were already so tired, your legs were literally numb. You couldn’t ride him anymore. You frowned and pouted your lips but that little act made charles grab your jaw harder. “Answer me babygirl. You’re not a selfish little baby. You know that daddy needs to cum too right?” He asked, softly. You then nodded your head and slowly started to ride him.

Charles then grabbed your ass tightly and bucked his hips upward, fucking you. You let out a scream when you felt your another orgasm coming already. You hid your face in his neck. Charles’ hand wrapped around the back of your neck as the other one still held you firmly. “F-fuck nghh!” You screamed out as you let out mumbled moans in his ear.

His groans in your ear was telling you that he’s gonna cum soon. “D-daddy please, i-im gonna cum a-again” you said as you bit on his neck, trying to tame your screams. He let out a loud groan when you bit on his neck. You knew that your bite mark will stay for a good 5-6 days. His breathing got heavier as his thrusts became sloppy. You whined when you felt his cum fill you up so good. He then pulled out and saw your pussy dripping his cum on his waist.

“God, your pussy looks so beautiful when my cum is dripping from it” he said as he smirked at you.

A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️

[twomiddlefingersforthehaters]

I didn't notice that Kyun was used again in the manga. I think everyone knows how this onomatopoeia first appeared in the manga, yes ofc Kishi used it for Naruto.

Naruto got existed by the anticipation of fighting sasuke... ｢キュン｣ Kyun is a common onomatopoeia in Japan when you fall in love and also used for feeling spark or thrill in one's heart. SFX for momentary tightening of one's chest caused by powerful feelings Or to have butterflies. ｢ゾクゾクする｣ zokuzoku suru- Thrilling is an expression for shaking, to get chills, to be shaking as from joy or excitement Or having tingling sensation (excitement). In here tightening (Kyun) happening in his lower abdomen.

何だ... にの気持ち下腹の辺りがキュンとする それに... ゾクゾクする

nanda... Kono kimochi shita bara no atari ga kyun to suru Sore ni... zokuzoku suru

"What... is this feeling? My lower stomach feels tight/feels butterflies! And... I feel a thrill/ shivers."

This expression is generally uses when butterflies take flight in your stomach when you're sexually aroused. It is that feeling in your stomach when you get turned on. So it literally means he's being sexually excited. In the middle of his thoughts he also remembers when Sasuke tells him he's also interested in fighting him too, where Naruto reacted ドキ ( "doki")

キュン - onomatopoeias that express strong affection (mainly love). The feeling of excitement is like your heart beating hard and constricting. It's similar to when you're so happy you can't breathe. What makes people feel excited varies from person to person.

So, キュン means pounding, fluttered,thump etc... once, instant (ュン feels it is once and gone), a bit light but very sharp (since with キ sound)

-My heart skipped a beat!

- I got this tingling sensation.

- Heartthrob

e. g:

1．その映画で胸キュンしましたか?

sono eiga de mune kyun shimashita ka ?

Did that movie make your heart skip?

2．猫が可愛すぎてキュン死する。

neko ga kawaisugite Kyunshi suru

The cat is so adorable, it's killing me! ( just an exaggeration)

3．この前、あなたの投げキッスに胸がキュンとした。

kono mae, anata no nage kissu ni mune ga kyun to shita.

Last time I saw you, my heart skipped a beat from the kisses you blew (to) me.

4．この絵にキュンとしました 。

kono e ni kyun to shimashita.

I felt a flutter of excitement when I saw this picture.

キュンとした (kyun toshita) has nuances such as "I was touched", " I was moved" , "I was impressed" etc...

[It means you see a picture, and instantly hit by an emotion hard to describe, but it is pleasant]

5．この犬かわいいね。胸がキュンキュンするわ。

kono inu kawaii ne. mune ga kyunkyun suru wa.

What a cute dog! My heart gets pounding.

6．ふとした瞬間の考えてることが一緒なところ。同じタイミングで同じ歌を口ずさんだりすることがあるとキュンとする（笑）

futoshita shunkan no kangaeteru koto ga issho na tokoro. onaji taimingu de onaji uta wo kuchizusan dari suru koto ga aru to kyun to suru

We tend to have the same thoughts at certain moments. It makes my heart flutter when we start humming the same song at the same time (lol)

7．かわいい犬を見て『キュン』 死しそう になった。

kawaii inu wo mite Kyun shishisō ni natta.

When I saw the cute dog I died from cuteness overload.

[N̳o̳t̳e̳:̳ there's no English expression that can be literally translated キュン死 but it can use, “to die from cuteness, to die from cuteness overload, OR so cute that I died”. キュン死 can also be used when you "almost died because someone's too hot,sexy etc., " in that case, the translation be like " die from hotness or sexiness" or something like "he's so hot and I can die". ]

8． 彼女の事を思うと胸がキュンとなる。

kanojo no koto wo omou to mune ga kyun to naru.

When I think about her my heart flutters.

9．何回みても、キュンキュンするね

nan kai mite mo, kyunkyun suru ne

No matter how many times we watch (him), he (still) gives the butterflies, doesn't he?

N̳o̳t̳e̳:̳ キュンキュンする is used to describe a situation where you are so happy that your heart beats fast, or that you find it difficult to breathe in a normal way, etc. It is almost always used for young people being like that, especially when they are meeting somebody they like/ are in love with. Used in a situations when you say: - My heart is aching. - I got this tingling sensation

10. 彼を見るたびに、胸がキュンとする感じがします

kare wo miru tabini, mune ga kyun to suru kan ji ga shimasu

Whenever I see him, I feel a flutter in my chest.

11. 胸がキュンときました｡

mune ga kyun tokimashita.

My heart skipped a beat. (N̳o̳t̳e̳:̳ It is often used when a love began or similar emotion. Mune-kyun is an abbreviation for chest-kyun, which means that your chest tightens with excitement.)

N̳o̳t̳e̳:̳ When a person of the opposite sex that you like shows a cute expression just for you, you feel doki. ``Kyun'' is a momentary feeling of happy elation. As you can say, it's a happy feeling when you see something cute. When you see something cute, you use "kyun" to describe the heart-warming emotion you feel at that moment.

There are times when music makes you go 'kyun' or movies makes you go 'kyun'. I think it can also be used in a broader sense. Originally, it was a word used to describe love or the excitement you feel when you meet someone of the opposite sex. However, if you are deeply moved, you will also feel excited, so it is an exciting situation after all.

キュンです (kyundesu) is originally means when your heart pounding / flutters its an exaggerated meaning from onomatopeia キュンキュン (kyunkyun). when you see something cute your chest become painful in love in other words its a word used when your heart beating fast the short term for "my chest pounding!" what kind of situation you can use this is when your heart flutter by the action / words of the person you like or looking at the pet or when you see something cute your heart is pounding / flutters and finally when you're happy its kyundesu.

"Kyun" is an onomatopoeia, so even if you look it up in a dictionary, you may only find a wide range of meanings and uses, or you may find a way of using it that is not mentioned in the dictionary. Ultimately, you have to infer the meaning from the feel of the word and the context.

When Sasuke sees "Itachi", he is suddenly struck by "memories of his older brother"...

As he Saw the Edo Tensei Itachi's profile he recalled → Itachi's old profile (so distant) → kid Itachi's smiling face from the front (also the forehead poke)→ reaching towards him (thought he would gouge out his eyes)→ his final forehead poke with a smile-> his death

This whole recalled scene have the gap that needed to fill (the truth behind the lies).

Sasuke was obviously surprised & shocked because "someone he thought was dead suddenly appeared in front of him..."

Sasuke goes "kikyun" when he finds his big brother who was dead jumps through the trees in front of him and in the next panel it shows Sasuke's shocked face unable to believe what he just saw, and then instinctively glared towards his brother's direction...

So, キキュン is the sfx that made in his abdomen after seeing his beloved brother for the first time in a long time.

[in the manga it is an effect that conveys emotions, but if they actually added this sound in the anime, I think it would just sound like Sasuke had an upset stomach]

For just a moment, Sasuke has entered a space that is completely cut off from the outside world. Of course, there are no onomatopoeia in the description of the memories he is tracing... it is a world of complete silence. But in a world where even sound is blocked out, it's as if everything has frozen... And Sasuke's eyes are looking somewhere in the distance... he seems to be looking at Itachi, but he's probably not looking anywhere. Sasuke's expression is indescribable... He reminisced about Itachi's past and his abdomen goes "kikyun" because of this unexpected encounter....because he was sure that the person running in front of him was Itachi.

I wonder if this "kikyun" sound actually occurred in the abdomen, or if it is a mental description of "that's how it felt".

"キ (ki) " sound is a "sound" that actually accompanies pain or with a slight pain, like something stabbing you in the stomach and the "kyun" sound is more of a "sensation" that expresses the heart-pounding with joy.

The pain of painful memories + the desire to be with his brother + amid fond memories + the two conflicting emotions of anger and happy + wanted to spend more time with his beloved Brother are all tangled up inside Sasuke= maybe this is how the combination of ki-Kyun happened.

OR

it may be anger. Remember what sai said when he was blaming Sakura before Shikamaru told her about the mission to kill Sasuke in ch. 559, “When I look at Naruto these days I can feel... (his) sadness... and when I think of Sasuke... my stomach gets hot... and I realise that it's anger”. However, I don't think it's anger because that's not the whole meaning of "kyun." And from the panel it wasn't looking like Sasuke was getting angry.

Conclusion: Seeing his brother it brought back old memories of his brother and evoked some strong emotions, making him feel very moved. You can use "kyun" when you are shocked in a positive way. It is clear from the context and from the second page that his abdomen goes kikyun because he was literally shocked. It is enough to evoke strong emotions in anyone if they had seen their brother risen from the dead.

kishi uses "onomatopoeia" and "background" to express their feelings. This technique by Kishimoto is interesting because it allows the reader to use their imagination in various ways. キキュン seems to be an original word created by Kishi and I've never heard anyone using it.

Sasuke tries really hard to talk to Itachi and chase him. How much of a big brother boy is he? He's so cute!! Sasuke suddenly let out all his pent up thoughts and doubts on his brother... That's how much he'd been suffering and carrying it all by himself up until now.

Itachi doesn't show even a trace of his true face in front of Sasuke, that he showed in front of Naruto and the others... Itachi has things he has to do, and he knows very well that "he should never have met Sasuke" because he, who is supposed to be dead, unnecessarily gets involved with Sasuke. Now, he clearly distinguishes between what he should do and what he shouldn't be involved in, and he strictly follows that line... "I'm essentially a dead man... I won't say any more," and keeps running away from Sasuke...

this is a very honest expression of Sasuke's true feelings

Sasuke had always chased after Itachi. he imitated his brother and chased after him. Feeling the responsibility of having the proud Uchiha clan name left to himself, he desperately tried to surpass his brother, chasing after his brother's back, but the more he got to know his brother, the more the wall of "perfection" stood in Sasuke's way. From an early age, he wanted to be acknowledged by his father, and desired to hear from his father "as expected from my son or That's my son" and not "Keep this up just like your older Brother", but his father and others saw him as "Itachi's younger brother" and always being compared to his overly excellent older brother, he was underestimated. But that did not stop him from idolizing his brother. And he loves his brother very much. Even amongst his family members, Sasuke places Itachi on a high pedestal.

But through this unexpected reunion, Sasuke was able to see and understand his brother's "convincing way of life"... even if he couldn't accept it. he returns to his childlike state when he is with his older brother. And Sasuke finally called Itachi "兄さん = big brother". The fact that he can honestly say "Big Brother" means that Sasuke is returning to being the "real Sasuke". Fighting while relying on each other's backs is "proof of teamwork" and finally....showed their trust by standing back to back naturally.

From ch. 585 to ch. 588 Sasuke called him 兄さん。But In Ch. 589 Sasuke uses 兄(あに) = ani= (older) brother...-> is actually formal... It is never used by children, and mostly used in a more formal conversations when you tell someone about your brother, or in literary styles.

With each seal, Sasuke's expression changes... Sasuke may have expected Itachi's reaction, but I think he feels a sense of repulsion and ``as I expected'' towards his brother who, even at this point, refuses to show even the slightest bit of his true self. When Itachi reaches the "Monkey" seal in ch. 589, Sasuke eyes quickly change back from Sharingan to normal. Perhaps he got his Sharingan back to remind himself that their "time as brothers" was over. Itachi, who had been making the seal, stopped... His back was still turned as usual, but he was still listening seriously to what Sasuke was saying.

But when their time as brothers ended, Sasuke finally changed back from "nīsan" to "anta" Or rather, it felt like the dream time ended and he was suddenly pulled back to reality, and then he naturally changed back to "anta."

The way Sasuke talks about his "older brother" in ch. 589 as if he were a third party seems to suggest that he has put his childhood memories behind him as the "past" and is now looking towards the "present and future." It also sounds like he is bidding farewell to his "older brother who has become a thing of the past."

The fact that the Edo Tensei seal ended with the boar , perhaps means that the Edo Tensei came to an end with the brothers' " great boar hunt = Kabuto hunt"

In the end Sasuke (again) called him "nii-san" in his mind, rather than calling him "Itachi" Or "Anta". A 16-year-old Sasuke, the expression on Sasuke's face as he gazed upon his brother reminded him of the innocent 7-year-old when he was looking at his brother's back. a lonely face.

Just like that day... the day of the Uchiha incident, the day Sasuke reminding Itachi to teach Shuriken... he was smiling when he was looking at his brother's back, but then he was saddened to see the broken wall with the Uchiha symbol on it that his brother had destroyed by throwing a shuriken, and muttered in his mind, "Nii-san". The final sweet moment he got from his brother was at that day. Sasuke was probably feeling the same anxiety and sadness he had felt back then when he was only 7-year-old. Even in this last moment his brother was distancing himself from him and running away from him.

Itachi walks towards Sasuke with his last bit of strength. He looked so panicked as Itachi approaching him and pointed his fingers towards his head, it paralleled the last scene between them, when he thought his brother was going to pluck his eyes out.

His hand, stretched out as if to flee, passed over Sasuke's head and grabbed him, pulling him towards. Sasuke will never see "Itachi's back" again... This will truly be the last time he sees his brother's back....because this is the Gesture that truly means, 'I am not Lying and I am not distancing myself' instead he closed the distance between them. He no longer pushed Sasuke away with a finger to the forehead. It's a full brotherly embrace now. In Itachi's words, which seem to be honest and straightforward, there is also his "brother's honest feelings" hidden within them. I think that's why he uses the word "always" twice. when he says "I love you," it's unusual for him to use hiragana "おれ (ore) " instead of "オレ." It sounding as gentle and soft as that final smile he gave to Sasuke. Like the gentle words of a mother.

Kishi clearly shows us that Itachi is more than just Sasuke's brother. He established a motherly bond when Itachi was just 5 years old and Sasuke was a newborn baby. We've seen Mikoto carry baby Sasuke and to introduce Kushina. But when it came to a life-threatening situation like the Kyuubi incident, Itachi played the mother role (ch.502). And he checks Sasuke's performance in Academy just like a Father.

Itachi regretted not thinking anything from Sasuke's POV which hurted him even more. He also admitted he tried to use Kotoamastukami against Sasuke himself. He tried to manipulate him, he tried to force Sasuke to follow his own desires, he only saw Sasuke as an object, meant to keep him in the shadows forever. By the end, Itachi confessed his mistakes then stopped trying to force Sasuke into doing anything.

The hand that grabbed Sasuke's head, and said the manly words that he didn't have to forgive " me " forever...He looked straight ahead with gentle eyes and said the embracing words, " I will always love you." It shows the unconditional love between siblings.

When Sasuke thinks of Itachi, he looks up at the sky. For example, in ch. 403, after hearing the truth about Itachi, he was looking up at the full moon at the Akatsuki hideout.

And when he saw Itachi in the forest, he looked up at his brother's direction... From that moment on, Sasuke entered a "dreamlike time." At that time, he was wandering alone in the darkness, soaking wet like a lost kitten...

But now, he was wrapped in a gentle light, he look up at his older brother as he returns to the sky... He was wrapped in warm love and somehow he looked dazed.

Likewise, Sasuke "looked up" at the beginning of this brother's reunion, and he was "looking up" again at the end of this farewell. Sasuke looks like a little boy who wakes up and realizes his brother is gone. But his brother's "warmth" still remains.　

Sasuke's expression has definitely softened compared to before he entered the forest. Itachi's final smile showed that he still believed in Sasuke... it was a clear, happy smile that showed towards his brother. He tells Sasuke only the truth and lets him choose his own path from there. That's a big difference from before.

Sasuke's "love for his older brother" were stronger than Itachi had thought . For his brother, for his family... the "love" in Sasuke's heart was deeper (than expected). Because his love was so great and deep, he ended up carrying more sadness and hatred than he had expected.

In that respect, Naruto understood Sasuke very well. After hearing the truth about Itachi, Naruto said: "Sasuke loved his family and clan... it's because his love is so deep, it's hard for him to forgive"

These images and the panels that follow in the manga sum up their relationship perfectly. The panel above is the highlight about the "two brothers" and their story....because Kishi started their flashback with this panel (ch.220)

An older brother carrying his little brother on his back was aware of what was going on around him, but the one behind had closed his eyes and was completely oblivious to what was happening. It's really amusing how Kishi drew it: “Sasuke closed his eyes and Itachi was looking at his brother....fully aware of his surroundings.” Itachi knows what's going on with his clan, but Sasuke is completely kept in the dark and was oblivious, that's the whole story right?

The bottom panel is the beginning of ch. 591. Last moments between siblings. Nothing was hidden now, he heard and saw the truth he wanted to hear from his brother. Itachi's back was no longer turned to his little brother, now he was not ignoring him... he was smiling and putting their head together. It was a true "farewell between the brothers".

So, their sibling relationship had its dark phase, betrayal, hurt, pain and lies. But beyond all that, Sasuke always loved his brother.

In the beginning of the manga, because of his brother's manipulations and lies Sasuke had to live a life full of hatred, suffering, misery and he ended up doesn't care about what happens to him.... BUT...because of Naruto...we saw through Sasuke's monologue at the end of the manga about how he will appreciate and value life. Naruto and Sasuke...they have walked completely different paths, they have experienced and learned similar things in parallel. They both have things they lack and yet.....Naruto makes up for Sasuke's, and Sasuke makes up for Naruto's. That is why they are depicted as equals and balancing each other out. Itachi says himself to Sasuke that he can no longer change sasuke and actually thinks naruto is the one able to. And what can really change sasuke's heart is love. naruto's love. After accepting Naruto's love for him, he hopes to see the world more like naruto. Sasuke also emphasis that Naruto never tried to stop him as anything but as his friend, and because of that, Sasuke was saved. When Sasuke said, "You came closer to my heart" , From those words "You came", Sasuke's gratitude, feelings, and "happiness" towards Naruto are fully conveyed... Now, Sasuke's heart is filled. They understand each other's pain and feelings at a level no one else can, and from a very young age they unknowingly bond with each other over these shared feelings and emotions, and that bond withstood. He is now willing to share the burden of that suffering with Naruto (your sufferings and wishes are passed on to me) just as Naruto tried to do to Sasuke the whole time (I'll bear the burden of your hatred and I'll die with you). Sasuke is willing to try it Naruto's way and accepting him instead of trying to carry the burden and sufferings all alone.

He specifically says in his monologue that he would try to hope for better things to happen, try to find ways to love himself and his life, because if he could do it for Naruto, he could probably do it for himself and other things. and he look for ways to cope with life, and relying on Naruto's love to be able to do so eventually. Because even if he cannot do so ever, at least Naruto will be there for him, always.

And the fact that the last words were not spoken by "Naruto" but by "Sasuke" made you realize once again that the story of NARUTO is not just about "Naruto"... it is a story that has been woven by the two of them, "Naruto and Sasuke"

[number1jeonginstan]

[1:23 am]

Chan x afab!reader (established relationship)

A/N: Feeling the need to write and I'm like 700 words into the second chapter of Coffee (I write really fast). Also, this is my first time ever writing smut, so I thought I should make it a short story. Please give me constructive criticism so I can improve for you guys! I want to write things that you guys truly enjoy and want to read! Please ask if you want me to write anything in particular.

WC: 1k (I literally meant to make this 300 words...)

CW: Consensual Somnophilia, piv, unprotected (please don't), daddy kink, use of baby girl, cockwarming (kinda)? (idk what else to write here tbh)

"Channie, can you please just come back to bed, you've been working so hard for so long" you whined laying in your shared bed. Purple LED lights surround each corner of the room. "I'll be there in a second babe, I just have to finish this up first"

You loved Chan from the bottom of your heart, but you were so tired of him constantly working himself to the bone. He didn't know what the definition of a break was and it frustrated you. You were too tired to stay awake, so you decided to just go to sleep.

Chan finally finished his work, excited to watch the movie you had been talking about for days. He thought he was only working for an extra 5 minutes, but the clock read 3:12 a.m. He looked at his bed to see you fast asleep, like a kitten, curled up in a ball wearing only his shirt and your panties.

He loved seeing you like this, so at peace he didn't want to do anything to bother it. He curled up in the bed next to you, ready to fall asleep, but what he heard stopped him in his tracks. You were on his bed, moaning his name in a soft whisper. He was going to lose it, he didn't think he neglected you that much. He's just been so busy with work.

He thought about the last time you guys had sex. It was almost a week ago due to both of your busy schedules. He wanted to make you feel good, and he could already feel his erection growing in his shorts.

You guys have thoroughly talked about having sex while one of you was sleeping in case you really needed to get off and the other was there, so he took advantage of this.

He pulled down your panties whilst kissing your neck. He needed to make you feel good, but also stretch you out well since it had been a while.

You were already wet from the dream you were having, and he was grateful for it, slowly rubbing your clit while rubbing your nipples over his t-shirt. You started whimpering into his ear, and he felt like he could come on the spot. Something about the sounds that you make for him always makes him feel some type of way.

"Fuck y/n, your fucking soaked," he said out loud to no one but himself, "you are thinking about daddy fucking you even while you are sleeping aren't you?"

"Yeah, I bet you are thinking about squeezing your sweet fucking pussy all over my cock. God, let me stretch you out before I put my cock inside you babygirl."

He started using his fingers to stretch you out, starting off with one because you were just so fucking tight. Your eyes started to flutter in and out of consciousness when he started to put the second finger in. He could feel your cunt starting to clench around him, he knew you were going to cum soon, he started playing with your clit again trying to get you to cum on his fingers.

"Fuck baby, just like that, ride daddy's fingers like I know you can." Your moans got a bit louder, but you were still in a deep slumber.

Chan couldn't take it anymore, he needed to bury his cock inside of you before he came from just touching you. He slowly started to push his thick cock inside of you, he could feel your walls clenching and he had only put the tip in.

"God baby, this pussy sucks me in so well. What could I do without my baby, always ready for my dick."

When he finally sheathed inside you, he was in a state of euphoria, he couldn't help but groan out loud. No matter how much he loved to make you cum, he needed to chase his own high now. He needed to cum inside you, fill you up with his cum til he saw it leaking out.

He started thrusting rapidly, not caring if the members woke up with the sound of the headboard smashing against the wall.

As his thrusts started getting sharper, you began to stir awake, "Channie" you asked as you groggily woke up to something feeling so good inside of you.

"Shhhh baby" he tried to silence you, "just take my cock like the good girl you are."

That's exactly what you did, as he continued to rut into you, he shifted a little bit, hitting that spongey spot inside of you.

"Oh fuck" you moaned, "Harder daddy, I'm almost there, please come inside I need your cum so bad, please daddy come inside, need it, need it in me."

You were clenching down so hard on his cock, he wanted you to come together, he needed to creampie you on his cock.

He reached over and started playing with your clit once again to help you get over the edge. "Come on baby, come with me, such a good baby, letting me cum inside of you like the good little baby you are, love taking daddy's cock don't you can't get enough. Have to take it even while you are sleeping that's how much you want it?"

"Yes daddy" you replied, "need your cum, need it in me so bad" that's what sent you both over the edge, him cumming inside you and staying there, not daring to move.

"Was that good sweetheart, don't want daddy to take his cock out of you? Want me to plug you full of my cum til we both fall asleep" he asked groggily.

He waited for a reply, only to see you fall back asleep. He chuckled at this but ended up falling asleep still in you.

[prodbyton]

stepping off my perv!riize soapbox because fwb!Eunseok crept into my mind. fwb!Eunseok would be such a trip. he's super great in bed (duh) and is just such a sweetheart that people would expect you to fall for him. it wouldn't even be difficult to do. he's everything a girl could want in a man, yet you still never saw him in that way.

Eunseok on the other hand... (anyone that has been around you two for longer than 2 seconds: so, you're in love with her, right? Eunseok: nuh uh!! same person: fuck you mean nuh uh!?) he's literally obsessed with you. he's always texting you. always buying you random presents. you know how there are a million and one couple holidays in Korea?? he's not so subtly celebrating everyone with you. like,,,, the couple allegations get crazy, but EUNSEOK'S the one embarrassed about it when it's his fault in the first place.

you never wanted to cross the line bc you knew going into this that it was just sex and occasionally hanging out. the more often you two hung out, the more you started to fall for him. you started to push away, but he kept being so sweet, kept seeking you out, kept buying you gifts, kept taking you out for fancy dinners, kept loving you.

the whole situationship thing reached a peak one night after another lovely "not a date" date with Eunseok. the second the two of you entered his apartment, he had you pushed against his door, his mouth crashing into yours. before you know it, he's hitting it from the back in a half-assed doggy because you can barely hold yourself up, it feels so good. the closer you get to cumming, the more wobbly your arms get. that is until you give up and flop onto your belly. Eunseok fully pushes himself on top of you, his chest to your back. all you can hear is his breathing, groans, and babbling in your ear. he just kept repeating "you're so good for me" "you feel so good" "needed you so bad". you started to zone out, focusing on how good you felt, until you heard the words "i love you so fucking much" pass his lips. you both froze. he pulled out and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. you turned over and the first thing you saw was how red his ears were. you go to touch his shoulder and he turns around with red eyes and starts rambling about how sorry he is and how he crossed a line. you kiss him to shut up before whispering a soft "i love you too" back.

okay,,, this ended up wayyyyyy more fluffyish and longer than i intended. anyways, here's kinda pathetic!fwb!Eunseok! coming next: maybe perv!Sunchan? maybe perv!Anton? maybe something else entirely??? I DON'T EVEN KNOW!! 😱😱

-🎀

eunseok losing the idgaf war deep in pussy is crazy but real af… like he’s so in denial about his true feelings in fear of you not feeling the same so he doesn’t even realize how the fwb turned into a situationship until he’s wayyyy too deep to turn back, and his nonchalant act coming to bite him in the ass the minute he gets a slight realization that he’s so close to having you but could lose you so fast of he didn’t act now. he’s planning on taking you out and then confessing but he gets so distracted by your beauty and then once he’s inside you those three words just leave him without him realizing and you’re both like 🫣🫢🤨

but this whole time you were waiting for eunseok to finally just claim you as his instead of playing with your emotions like he’s been doing these last months, like who takes their fwb to a 5 star restaurant and gives her a hello kitty money bouquet… eunseok lock tf in please

also the dick? is fire…. you aren’t going anywhere when eunseok fucks you completely stupid every time even when he’s slow, forcing you to look at him while he makes you cum basically a soul tie atp and he doesn’t want you fucking other people, even if you two weren’t together and he’s not fucking anyone else either. tells you his cock is the perfect fit for your pussy and anyone else would be a waste of time <3

after his pussy drunk confession you two talk it out and finally make it official and he finishes what he started and goes back to giving you the best dick of your life as your boyfriend 🙂‍↕️

kinda looking forward to perv sungchan but ill take all your ideas no matter what they make me lightheaded in the best way possible 🎀 anon

[burninlovebutler]

Just an Intern // Part 3

pairing: austin x makeup artist!reader | word count: 8.7k-ish

warnings: angst, smut, FLUFF???, confusing arrogant asshole!austin, one bed, alcohol, hot tub 👀, fingering, play fighting, lots of dialogue, fries lore lol, truth or dare, name calling, physical altercation, yelling, screaming, crying, i am so sorry (but not really), 18+ MDNI

summary: while the set of Bikeriders remains buried under snow, you're imprisoned at the nearest ski lodge, in the last vacancy with none other than your arch nemesis. as the novelty of a packed resort wears off quickly, you find yourself on a drunken adventure led by an unexpected partner in crime... literally.

PART 1 | PART 2 | see my masterlist for all other fics ♡

vibes: just an intern spotify playlist ⛓️

Let's cause a little trouble Oh, you make me feel so weak I bet you kiss your knuckles Right before they touch my cheek

But I've got my mind, made up this time 'Cause there's a menace in my bed

Can you see his silhouette?

A glaring white morning light lulled you from your slumber. You were so warm and comfortable…. too warm and comfortable. Your eyes shot open and your body stilled completely the minute you sensed a heavy arm that was wrapped around your waist and a body pressed against your backside.

What the fuck

Last night’s events raced through your mind, remembering your transgressions with the actor vividly, but the end was quite fuzzy. All you remembered was going to shower then coming out to a completely dark room with Austin sleeping at the far edge of the twin sized bed, facing away from you. Then you slipped into bed, turned the opposite direction and fell asleep.

How the fuck did you end up being little spoon to the man that told you he’d rather rot in hell than sleep next to you. You stared at the wooden wall, following each swirl as if it would give you the answer to get out from this death trap of impending doom. You decided to take the plunge and try to slip from his grasp. A slight sleepy groan rumbled behind you made your eyes squeeze shut, like you were expecting a bomb to go off.

You knew exactly the song and dance it would ensue – some furious accusation and an insult.

Much to your surprise you felt him freeze just as you did then try to escape quietly. The realization hit that he perhaps didn’t know you were awake either. I mean realistically what would he reprimand you for? He was wrapped around you, what was he going to claim? That you forced him to play big spoon?

You chose to keep your place, taking advantage of the predisposition that you were still asleep. Besides it would give you just a sliver of peace before you had to go back to his ‘Intern’. There was a slight tug of sheets, then a cold emptiness when he pulled from the mattress.

He let out another hushed grunt then, “Fuck.” He mumbled to himself silently. You curiously opened one eye to observe him. He rounded the bed going to the dresser, tapping his fingertips across the top like he was looking for something. His hand landed on a pair of black rimmed glasses you hadn’t noticed when you went to bed in the dark. You couldn’t help but prop up a subtle brow.

Wanting to savor this little secret you stumbled upon, you decided to ‘wake up’ giving a performative stretch before cocooning yourself in the duvet. “Glasses huh?” You held back a ‘caught ya’ smirk, then a stifled giggle when you noticed him jump a tiny bit at the surprise.

He turned at the startle and instantly rolled his eyes. He hadn’t been awake not even 5 minutes and he was already annoyed with you. “Yes, I wear glasses, big whoop.”

“Well, I just didn’t know.” You tugged your bottom lip in trying not to laugh at his obviously embarrassed reaction.

“There’s lots of things you don’t know about me, Intern.” He spat back, turning to the phone ringing – to the tune of… Burnin Love? by Elvis? You were learning more about this man than you cared to know. He snatched his phone so fast, before it even got to the ‘hunka hunka’. Another thing he was clearly embarrassed about.

“What’s up?” While he spoke into the phone you found yourself distracted by the muscular lines of his bare back, just then noticing he was shirtless. His skin was golden and was toned like a swimmer. You followed the curvatures of his body down to were they met small dimples in his lower back then disappeared into blue stripped pajama pants.

His evidently aggravated groan snapped you out of your expedition down his body.

“Fucking great.” Bringing his hand to both temples. “We’re still fucking snowed in. We’re stuck here until tomorrow at least.”

Fuck

“I take it there are no other rooms available?”

“No Intern, obviously not, the roads are closed. Nobody can fucking leave.”

You both went your separate ways and you couldn’t have been happier, finally getting a moment to breathe and relax. There was a tiny café within the resort that you hid in most of the day taking time to catch up on the book you had been neglecting. The snow outside continued to pile up with no end in sight. Your odds of escaping Austin weren’t looking very promising. While it was what you wanted, there was a part of you – the machoistic part of you – that didn’t want it to end, just yet.

Before you knew it, it was evening and you were trying to avoid the hotel room at all costs, not wanting to risk running into Austin. So, you found yourself at the same bar from the Landon incident yesterday. You pressed your palms against the bar ledge that was littered with your coworkers, including Landon out of the corner of your eye. He sent a chill up your spine, but he seemed distracted by some giggly extra.

“Vodka soda please.” You ordered from the rather attractive bar tender. Maybe you could end up in someone else’s bed that night, maybe it would stave off the remnants Austin’s touch left on you. Regardless you had a mission - getting fucking wasted. How else were you supposed to deal with the confusion clouding in your head?

About 2 vodka sodas in, an aggravated sigh came from your left, “You would be here.” Said the exact voice you were trying to elude.

“What the fuck does that mean?” You rolled your eyes turning to him. He wore a plain black shirt that hugged his toned arms, tight dark denim jeans and leather boots.

He shrugged, “You just would.” Evading the question. “I guess I don’t blame you, there’s nothing else open in here at night.”

“Exactly.” You agreed taking a sip of your third drink, sending a warmth through your veins, then down to your core at the sight of his skilled fingers wrapped around a half-drank bourbon on the rocks.

“Last call!” Boomed from the tattooed bar tender.

“What?” You questioned, surprised. You tapped your phone screen to wake the time, “What, it’s only 12?”

“Bar closes at 12 on Sundays.” The worker informed, beginning his closing duties by wiping down the counter.

“Augh.” Austin groaned easily downing the remainder of his drink and harshly landed it on the bar. Without another word he was already out the door, likely at one of the cast’s room parties that had been going on.

You were in no rush to be alone in a hotel room but after a stroll through an uneventful empty lobby you decided to call it a night.

Opening the door to your room you noticed something that had been hiding behind a curtain, a wide open door. Being under the impression that the actor would be in some room party, you hesitantly tiptoed across the room. Your mind ping-ponged between the possibilities.

Maybe a resident had found the wrong room

Maybe you found the wrong room

Maybe the door hadn’t been locked and was swung open by the vicious snowy winds

Maybe it was a ghost

Finally at the door you peered through it from the edge to find… a hot tub? The jetted pool sat on a wooden platform covered by the room above’s balcony. And there sat the asshole right in the middle with another full drink in his grasp.

“Where have you been!” The blonde called out in a playful tune, the alcohol evidently taken over his body. “Did you know we have a hot tub?” His voice almost excited.

“Uh…” The entire scene threw you completely off, you’d never so much as seen this man smile and now, he was lightly playing in the water. “Am I hallucinating or are you actually having a good time?”

“C’mon get in here.” He gestured to join him hurriedly, ignoring your question.

“Austin it’s fucking freezing, you’re insane.” You thought he was even crazier when you realized that he was shirtless, because what else would you wear in a jacuzzi. “I’m not getting in there.” Shaking your head vehemently.

“It’s warm in here c’mon.” His gestures even more exaggerated through the steam that brewed above the water.

You shifted from one foot to another and chewed on your lip weighing your options. What else were you going to do? And who were you to turn down a hot tub?

“Augh fine.” You huffed, peeling your shirt over your head and unzipping then dropping your jeans. A blast of cold wind hit your bare body, covered only in a bra and panties. Your arms immediately wrapped around yourself shivering as you shuffled across the wood slats and up the short stairs.

You let out a relieved sigh once your shoulders were below the warm water across from him. “You’re fucking crazy.”

He gave you his signature eye roll, “Loosen up will ya? You’re always so stiff.”

You couldn’t help but let out loud scoff, “Me? Nah, that’s all you Actor.”

He let a chuckle as he lulled his head back, his arms resting on the edge of the tub. “Yeah, I guess I could stand to loosen up a little.”

“That’s a fucking understatement.” The edges of your lips tied into a smile.

“Hey,” He furrowed his thick brows at you, his face only illuminated by the blue tone of the pool. “That’s not very nice.” A light flick of water propelled at you from his fingertips.

“Hey!” You dodged the attack, “That wasn’t very nice.” Splashing warm water back at him.

“Oh, I don’t think you wanna play this game, Intern.” He brows propped up throwing another wave of water at you.

“Oh, I think I do Actor.” Swimming diagonal from him giving you a new angle to battle him with a rush of water.

He feigned surprise, “You’re goin’ down.” Mimicking your actions, getting you good that time, soaking you completely.

A giggle left your mouth as you attempted to swim in the opposite direction splashing him back once more. You heard another foreign laugh from him matching yours. “No, you’re goin’ down buddy.”

In some miscalculation you ended up near him and mid splashing war you felt familiar sizable hands take hold of your waist pulling you into his lap.

What kinda twilight zone were you in when this menace was play fighting and giggling with you?

After the initial stun of the move, you caught your breath your eyes meeting his. The ebbing waves from the tub reflected into his aqua eyes, the ripples of the water seemed to swim in them.

Silence fell between you both as the laughter had dissipated and the only communication was in your stare. You tried to place his thoughts by analyzing his eyes. At that point you had gotten fairly good at reading him though this sight was new, and you had no clue at what was behind it.

His eyes flickered between yours and your lips, the proximity of him now very apparent. The scent of bourbon laid thick on his breath. Your own air lodged in your throat as you took in the sight of him. Under the glow of the moon, he looked so soft, a lens you’d never seen him through before. He was so exquisite like that - flushed rosy cheeks, drunken glossy eyes and all.

Your entire body froze when his lips met yours, his arms wrapping around your torso. Whether it was the alcohol, the moon or your genuine desire, something let yourself melt into it fully. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you deepened the kiss. You expected him to escalate it with his tongue the way he did before, but he didn’t, his lips just took yours in completely.

You decided to take the plunge and slide your tongue against his bottom lip asking for entrance and he complied. His hands slid up your sides pulling you closer and your hands tangled into the little curls at the nape of his neck. The entire experience was different than any other time you’d hooked up with him, it mirrored his current demeanor – soft, gentle. He wasn’t groping and squeezing like he normally did, he just held you as your tongues danced together.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and found a not surprising prominent bulge beneath you. A groan rumbled in his chest when you pressed your panty-covered warmth against his boxer-covered erection.

As you grinded against him, the feeling of his tip nudging your bundle made you so desperate to relieve the rampant buzzing in your core. It was making you weak and was distracting you from the kiss. You reluctantly pulled from his soft lips and fell onto his shoulder letting out tiny whimpers as he rocked his hips against you.

He pressed full kisses in the curvature of your neck causing a churning in your tummy that wasn’t arousal, but something different. Something familiar but you couldn’t quite place. “You’re so fucking gorgeous.” He mumbled into your shoulder, his voice deep and dripping in liquor.

A short breathy whimper involuntarily escaped you, “You think so?” Your inner voice taking no time in reprimanding you for seeking validation from such a douchebag. His names for you weren’t normally so kind, nevertheless a compliment.

“Mhm,” He hummed against your shoulder, his hand tangling in your hair as he peppered kisses across your skin. “The prettiest.” He whispered below your ear, unleashing a kaleidoscope of butterflies throughout your chest, your ribcage locking them in. You knew it was the alcohol talking but you clung to every word.

You were so needy for him that only small moans left your mouth, “Please Austin, I need your cock.” You breathed out, your heart beating so hard you thought it might pop out. Your hips rutted against his length the wet material of your panties allowing your lips to part around his shaft, teasing him with your entrance. “Please?” Exaggerating your whine.

He groaned at your actions, fingers harshly digging into your thighs. “No.” He said simply, his touch now gliding up your thighs, “Let me take care of you.”

His response took you by surprise, “W-what?” You stuttered but didn’t pull from him. A hand drew up your inner thigh, scorching the skin it passed, then fingers up your panties.

“Let me take care of you baby.” He repeated, his fingertips easily pulling your panties to the side and rolled the pads of his fingers around your clit. A gasp left your lips at the sudden pleasure.

“Fuck.” You faintly muttered against his neck and leaned into his touch. “Please. I need you.” Your right hand tugging at his hair and the left curling into his shoulder.

“I wanna try something, do you trust me?” He asked, the question throwing you off, both at what he could possibly be thinking and whether you knew the answer. It occurred to you that it was the second time he’d asked you that impossible question, the first time in the saloon on set. You wondered on what planet he was living on where he had given you any reason to trust him. If anything, he should be the last person on earth to trust. And yet, you lied, “Hm- Yes.” Curious to find out his idea.

He purred against your shoulder and gently lifted your hips off of him then placed you across his lap. With one hand he slid your panties down your legs and draped it over the edge of the pool. You held onto him by an arm around his neck as his hand slid up your thighs again and spread them wide.

The pads of his fingers once again found your core, rounding your swollen nub then down dipping into your entrance. “Fuck.” You breathed out as his digits curled into your sweet spot. You let him float you to the edge of the tub, it was unclear to you why until you felt the strong stream of water from one of the jets. A sharp gasp fell from your lips at the immediate pressure.

“Oh my god,” Your chest was heaving, and your nails dug into his back. While the jet took care of your clit, his fingers were taking care of your core, fucking you in a way you never thought fingers could. It was rhythmic like a choreographed dance, every pump into your pussy landed in a curl into your g-spot and you never knew you could feel so much pleasure from so many areas at once. Your heart was thumping in your throat with a tight knot in your stomach threatening you to unravel already. “Oh my god Austin.”

“I know baby, I know.” He continued his plight on your neck, trailing passionate kisses all over it. “Feels good doesn’t it?” He asked.

“Y-Yeah- Fuck.” You could barely hear him over the pounding in your ears. His little experiment with you was overriding every nerve, waves of tingling pleasure washing through you, even causing your toes to curl. “Fuck Aus, I’m close I’m so fucking close.” You whined, squeezing your eyes shut barely holding on to your sanity. The bliss was practically numbing your brain, every thought was him, only him. His eyes that could make you wet with just one look, his plump lips that stamped kisses all over you, his skilled tongue against your own and even better on your clit, the curve of his neck and collar bone where you’d place your own kisses, his agile hips that allowed him to drill his perfect fucking cock into you. Right then you could’ve sworn he was some Greek god from the insurmountable euphoria that possessed your body.

His mouth pulled your skin into a suck while his tongue swirled over the darkening spot. “Let it out baby c’mon, cum for me.” His deep voice rumbled against your neck. That and a perfectly synchronized hit of the jet stream on your throbbing bundle and his fingers curved into you, set off your climax. The height of your orgasm ripped through you so violently that your moans were completely silent – which you we’re grateful for because you knew your coworkers were just above you. Your nails dug into his shoulder and your thighs clamped around his hand and you heard him let out a sort of entertained chuckle. If you weren’t underwater your juices most definitely would’ve soaked his thigh completely.

Once fully spent, you fell limp on his chest, heavy breaths flowing into his neck, “Fuck.” You murmured. His arm curled around your waist, pulling you closer against him. The act was so intimate compared to… well any other interaction you’d had with him. He was always so cold and rigid, now he was tender and warm. You blinked up at him, his focus on the stars above you. Even his moonlit features were soft compared to his normal sharp edges. “You sure like to use water fixtures as sex toys huh.” You tugged a lip between your teeth hoping the joke would land.

He took a moment to respond, his brows scrunching together before looking down at you, “Huh?”

You let out a tiny giggle, “Because the faucet on set-“

“Oh oh, yeah!” He boomed a drunken laugh straight from deep in his chest, “Yeah, I guess I do.” Looking down at you, for a moment you couldn’t tell the difference between the stary midnight sky behind him and the twinkling navy in his eyes. “Did you not like it? Because it seemed like you did-“ His voice sounded almost insecure, as if he was worried about disappointing you. The hint of insecurity echoed the one from earlier in the hotel room, about his glasses.

“No, no I definitely do.” You laughed, pulling yourself up to wrap both arms around his neck, straddling him once again. “I’ve just never been with someone so… innovative.” Your lips pressed together to stifle a chuckle.

The joke earned you another hearty laugh from the glowing blonde, which made you realize you’d barely heard him laugh before, nonetheless smile. And right now, he was a grinning mess, and he hadn’t even cum. From the lack of stiffness beneath you it seemed that the alcohol had taken its toll. Under any other circumstances, if there was a more competitive game at play, you would’ve tried your hardest to return the favor. But he was giggly and touchy and the nicest you’d ever seen him, you didn’t want to cut it short, so you laid against his shoulder again just taking in his breathing.

“You’re pretty funny.” He said once he caught his breath from laughing.

“Yeah?” You blushed and a giant grin pulled at your lip’s edges, for some reason you felt embarrassed and hid further into his neck. “I’m glad you think so.” You whispered beneath his ear and molded your body further around his, taking advantage of his warmth. He reciprocated, wrapping you up in his arms.

Silence fell for what felt like an eternity and you thought for sure the moment was about to end, and this unicorn version of asshole actor would disappear. But he surprised you yet again.

“I’m hungry.” He stated simply, “I want fries.”

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, “What?”

“I want fries!” He repeated, matter-of-factly. “We should go get fries.”

“Austin, where the fuck are we gonna get fries? The kitchens are closed and it’s not like we can DoorDash in a snowstorm.” You stated the obvious, sitting up in his lap.

You watched the gears churning in his head as if it was a difficult equation before the most mischievous playful smirk spread across his face. Immediately you knew it couldn’t mean anything good. “Austin,” You warned, propping up a cautious eyebrow, “What are you thinking.”

He practically threw you off of him, landing you to be floating alone in what now seemed like a giant empty ocean without him in it. He scrambled quickly into the hotel room, dripping water across the carpet, only in some plaid boxers. Once the blur of the action caught up to you, you followed suit, nearly flying out of the tub into the freezing cold air. “What are you doing!” You called after him as he hastily dried off with a towel and changed into sweats and a hoodie faster than you’d ever seen anyone move.

The mischievous smile never left his face in his hurried actions and stayed focused on his mission. In that moment you realized you were now babysitting a drunken toddler. Like any good caretaker, you matched his speed but soon remembered your limited wardrobe choices. He was already halfway out the door and the only reasonably warm and accessible choices were another hoodie and pair of sweats from his duffle.

“Austin!” You first shouted loudly after him, stumbling out the door trying to slide fully into your sneakers. Then in a more hushed yell, not wanting to wake the entire lodge at 2 am. “Where are you going!”

“Fries!” He threw over his shoulder as he booked it down the stairs.

“Hey! Slow down!” Taking a moment to catch your breath before following him down the two flights of mahogany stairs. “You couldn’t have taken the elevator at least?”

Finally, you caught up to him, standing in front of the restaurant that hosted the rotating buffet during the day. You leaned over attempting to catch your breath gripping your chest, reminding you that maybe a weekly gym day wouldn’t hurt. “They’re clearly closed Aus.” You huffed out, gesturing your arm at the darkened restaurant. The way it was laid out was that the floor was open so the buffet serving areas and seating were open, but the kitchen was locked. He was bent over eyeing the lock. “You’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking, are you?”

“Hmmm.” He hummed and stood up to face you, he held his tongue between his lips as he seemed to analyze you, then reached into your damp hair and plucked out a bobby pin you had forgotten was in there. He went back to his crouched position, unfolding the metal accessory in his sizable hands.

“No no no.” You whispered, “Austin you’re gonna get us in trouble what are you doing!”

“I’m opening a door that we found, already open y/n, obviously.” He slid the pin into the keyhole and wiggled it around.

“Oh god you’re really doing this aren’t you.” You brought a hand to your temple.

It didn’t take long for the doorknob to click open, probably because the hotel didn’t think patrons would be breaking in. “Aha!” He proclaimed, flinging the door open and turning on the blinding overhead lights. Relief washed over you when you didn’t hear immediate alarms blaring.

“I fucking can’t believe you’re doing this.” You exasperated, dropping your arms at your sides, “You know there aren’t going to be just magically fresh fries right?”

“Relax Intern,” His mission stayed focused on pillaging the stainless-steel industrial kitchen for his desired snack. “I know what I’m doing.” Waving you off.

“Oh,” You placed both hands on your hips, “You break into kitchens often?”

He shot you an unimpressed look, “No, if you must know,” He somehow miraculously found the frozen fries. “I used to work in a kitchen, I know how to make some pretty fuckin’ dope fries.” He inspected the knobs of the deep fryer and clicked it to a high setting.

“Oh, you mean before you were just an actor?” You sassed, crossing your arms across your chest and popping out a hip.

He rolled his eyes at you, “Believe it or not I was once a struggling actor.” The fries sizzled in the oil when he dunked an obscene amount of into the appliance.

“Ah, I see the humbleness didn’t stick around.” You teased back, walking over to the wall and flipped off 3/4ths of the blinding fluorescent lights, leaving only the one’s above the counters.

He shot you another glare, “Keep talkin’ like that and ya aren’t gonna get any fries.”

You contemplated continuing your defiance but ultimately decided the midnight snack was more important. They were already in the fryer after all, might as well follow through.

He drew the fries from the oil, threw them into a giant silver bowl, and salted them like a pro, tossing them in the air and everything.

You ended up on the floor of the dark kitchen, sat across from him binging on the perfectly golden fries and a random wine bottle you’d found. For someone who was evidently wasted, they were beyond impressive. “Damn, you weren’t lying, these are so fucking good.” You complimented then shoved a handful of salty fries into your mouth. On a first date, you’d never eat like that in front of anyone, but this wasn’t a first date, this was a drunken adventure with an asshole.

“I told you.” He went for another fistful of salted potatoes. “I was the best damn line cook that surf and turf place had ever seen.” He sassed, waving a fry for extra attitude.

Your eyes rolled involuntarily, “You so would work at a surf and turf restaurant.”

He feigned insult with a dropped jaw, “What is that supposed to mean!”

You giggled and shrugged, taking a sip from the wine bottle. “You just give that typa vibe.” You teased, covering your mouth to hide the chuckle that threatened to erupt.

“Well, that’s not very nice.” He picked up a fry and tossing it at you. He shot a smirk at you then stole the wine bottle, taking a long swig. His plump lips molded around the bottle opening, his adam’s apple bobbed with his swallow.

You gasped, “You’re not very nice.” You plucked a fry from the heap and hurled it back at him. His gaze turned to a playful one, moving slowly to the bowl scooping a bundle of fries and heaving them at you.

“You’re a fucking child you know that?” Your tone serious but gasping an equal bit of fries while he was focused on your expression, throwing it right back at him. First the water fight and now this? Who the fuck abducted Actor and who was sitting across from you?

“Oh, you’re gonna pay for that.” He sat up on his knees, taking a fistful of your improvised dinner and aimed a bit too close to your face. Your hands immediately covered your eyes, “Ow!” You whined, sitting back on your legs, “You hit my eye!”

Instantly you heard him move the bowl and wine out of the way to cross the gap between you. “Oh my god I’m so sorry.” The hands that normally had been so rough on you, now delicately holding onto your wrists.

“It really hurts.” You whimpered, not moving your hands from your face.

“I didn’t mean to y/n, I swear.” He said softly then gently tugging at your hands. “C’mon let me see, we can wash out your eyes or something.”

A mischievous smirk spread across your lips beneath your hands, taking the fries that landed on you and smushing them into his chest. “Ha! I gotcha!”

Utter shock softened his face once he realized he’d been played. “That’s not fucking funny, I thought I- that I had-“ He struggled to find his words amidst the swirl of competitiveness and deception. It seemed as though his thoughts had halted as he watched your expression. The silence bounding around the industrial kitchen was haunting, unsure as to whether he was actually upset or if he would counter your move.

While you were attempting to decipher his motives, he abruptly took your cheeks into his large hands and pulled you into a kiss. The way his lips felt pressed against yours sent flutters down into your tummy, but they were different than the usual flurries of desire he gave you, these almost made you sick.

It took no time for your own hands to find a home tangled his hair. He inched forward indicating that he wanted you to lay back and you obeyed the silent request, slowly leaning back to land flat against the thankfully freshly mopped floor.

The kiss was tender, not hungry or ravenous, not even pushing to enter your mouth. In that moment, he wasn’t looking for anything more than that.

Your lips stayed locked for what seemed like a lifetime. A part of you almost grew uncomfortable at the intimacy, reflexively wanting to deepen the kiss. That’s all he’d ever wanted before after all, wasn’t it? You’d never had just a kiss before, with no ulterior motives. Why would he?

So, you wanted to fast forward to the part you knew was coming, not wanting to linger in a meaningless moment longer than necessary. You couldn’t afford to hold onto a fantasy, nor did you want to. But every muscle in your body ceased to function. His hands held your face and drew the pads of his thumbs across your cheekbones gently while your fingers traveled through his hair like a maze.

He was the exactly that - a maze, a human embodiment of one. You followed each path of his thinking you figured the way out, only to find you had no idea what you were doing or where you were going. You were trapped within an impossible labyrinth you never meant to enter.

His lips struggled to demagnetize from yours and hovered above your face. His navy eyes swirled reluctance, seemingly lost in some maze of his own. “I uh-“ He sat back on his legs, scratching the back of his head and eyes diverting from you. “We should probably head back to the room.”

And just like that, you reached another dead end in his labyrinth.

When you woke the next morning, the bed was empty. At first it took you by surprise, then a pit formed in your stomach. It was naïve of you to think that your drunken adventures with a rare Austin would change anything, foolish to think that version of him would stick around in the sober daylight. You wanted so badly to believe that wasn’t the truth, but you knew it was.

It dawned on you, why did that pit even form? This was the shithead that tormented you at work, treated you like shit and called you insufferable. In what twisted reality should you be sad that the illusion of a decent human fueled by alcohol didn’t stay for breakfast. At what point did you decide you wanted that version of him to stay? That’s not really what you want, was it? Of course not.

You brought your palms and pressed them into your eyes in a feeble attempt to clear out the thoughts swirling in your head. In a swift fling of the thick bedding, you unglued yourself from the bed, shuffling over to the window to check on the snow status. Thick snow still coated every surface, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as before, which meant that you’d probably be freed from this prison in the next day or two.

“Thank fucking god.” You mumbled to yourself, instinctively tucking your arms into your sides when you felt a chill. It was only then that you realized that you were still wearing his clothes. For whatever reason, you did a quick scan of the room as if someone would see you pulling up the collar of the hoodie taking an inhale. It smelled like him mingled with his cologne, a woodsy musk. You mentally scolded yourself when the tinge of longing filled your chest. Why the fuck would you miss him?

Then the memory of you sitting with him on the kitchen floor flashed across your mind pulling a giddy grin across your lips. “Fucking stop it.” Smacking your palm into your forehead. You shook your head trying to shake out whatever fucked up disease had taken over your mind, that was the only explanation for what you were feeling. The best way you could think of trying to remedy this ailment of yours was to take a long, hot shower. Maybe it’d wash it all away.

Once in the bathroom you let out a groan when you noticed all the towels were used and thrown about. “Fucking men.”

You headed down to the lobby and got the attention of a clerk. “Hi sorry to bother you but could I possibly get some more towels?”

“Sure of course! It’s no bother sweetie.” The middle-aged attendant sweetly smiled before heading into the back office.

She returned with a tower of fresh white towels. “There you go hon.” Placing them on the granite counter in front of you, “Your boyfriend use ‘em all?” She questioned in a joking tone.

You reflexively scoffed, “He’s definitely not my boyfriend.”

“Hm.” She pressed her lips together as if she had more to say but didn’t want to divulge.

“What?” You asked curiously, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Well it’s just- well I remembered you both from the night the snowstorm first hit so-“ She seemed to be trying to piece together some pieces of a puzzle in her head.

“…Mhm?” You urged on curious as to where this could possibly be going.

“So, when we had a vacancy open up yesterday, we called and asked him if he wanted to take it.” You knitted your brows together as you now tried to piece together the puzzle. “And well… he declined. So, I just assumed…”

“He turned down a room to himself?” You repeated for clarification, which was met with a timid nod, obviously feeling guilty for sharing personal information. “I uh, I have to go.” You stated shortly, snatching the tower of towels, “Thank you so much!” You thanked while you quickly made it back to the room.

After your much needed long, hot shower you decided to roam the all-inclusive resort. The only perk of being there was that there was decent amount of things to do during the day. From bars to in house casinos, arcades, spas, even a bowling alley. While you told yourself it was because you were bored, in the pit of your tummy there was a part of you that hoped you’d bump into your…enemy?

You wandered around the wooden halls of the resort with a pamphlet of all your options. Each corridor, room and lobby were decorated in typical lodge décor, animal heads on the wall, buffalo print everything, luxurious fireplaces. Everything except the deer heads was stunning, if you visited under different circumstances the mini vacation would’ve been a tranquil little getaway.

Since Austin supposedly hated you, Landon was a creep and Tom had his own friend group, you were alone. There was a door at the very end of the hallway that intrigued you. Once you peered in you saw a much cozier den-style bar, a huge square sectional couch facing a stone fireplace. On the opposite a very quaint bar. As you scanned the room for possible acquaintances you landed on a group of familiar faces.

“Y/N!” Called Tom, “You’re just in time. We’re just about to play truth or dare!”

What we were in 6th grade?

You locked eyes with your resident tormentor, because of course he’d be there. There was a split second where you thought things would be different after last night but when he gave you a warning look to decline the game offer, you knew it was a pipe dream. That gentle, playful man from the hot tub and the kitchen was gone, just like that. Then, the hatred you’d always felt before piped back into you, like a coffee pot filling with molten hot caffeine. Keeping eye contact with him the edges of your lips curled into a cocky smile, “Sounds great.” You sauntered over to the place next to Tom that faced opposite of Austin.

A few rounds of the game ensued, nothing too juicy at first but the game soon heated up when the group had downed a fair number of drinks. It was a stagehand’s turn to dare Austin. The brunette male, who had been working near many of your interactions together, gave him a playful smirk, “I dare you…” His eyes landed on you, “To make out with y/n.”

How fucking juvenile

You weren’t sure why the absolute jarring panic settled into your stomach, but Austin’s expression of immediate disgust didn’t help.

“I’m not doing that.” He said sternly, his tone oddly irritated.

“Oh, c’mon dude, it’s just a kiss.” The stagehand, Ryan, prodded jokingly.

“No. I’m not fucking doing it, give me a truth.” His brows low and knitted, eyes dark and mean.

“Fine.” Ryan, clearly annoyed and drunk, matched his unnecessarily angry tone, “Have you fucked the intern?” The question hushed every person around the fireplace, an uneasy tension filled in the air.

Blood rushed to Austin’s face and a vein pulsed in his forehead. He was trying to restrain his anger, squeezing his fists to stave it off. Your own steaming coffee pot was on the verge of overflowing.

Whether it was the tequila or something else that fueled you was unclear but you balled up your own fists, and before you could stop yourself, the words flew out, “I’m not a fucking intern!” You boomed out louder than intended and shooting you straight up on your feet.

Austin rolled his eyes, sharply pushing off from the couch, “I’m fuckin’ outta here.” He scoffed, headed for the doorway.

“Answer the question you fuckin’ pussy!” Called a way too far gone Ryan. “We already know the answer.” He added in a cocky snide.

Any sinister look you’d ever seen on Austin didn’t compare to the one that bore into Ryan. You were surprised his fist wasn’t bashed into his face already, if there weren’t so many witnesses he probably would’ve been pummeled to a mush.

 “Let’s get this fucking straight.” He hissed, his eyes locked on Ryan, never once glancing at you, like you weren’t even in the room. “I have never and will never put my hands on such a low budget, low level, filthy whore nobody of an Intern.”

Your jaw nearly hit the floor at his words, a consequential dagger speared right through your intestines. You knew he hated you, he called you insufferable. You knew he hated you, you knew it even after last night, but you never expected him to say such vile words about you. A lump formed in your throat and tears welled in your eyes, but you couldn’t cry there – not in front of all your coworkers, not after being completely and utterly humiliated. Every ounce of alcohol in your bloodstream fueled your stomp over to him and didn’t even realize what you had done until you felt your palm stinging like a bitch from landing on his face. His hand instantly reaching to cover his newly red cheek from your slap, his eyes wide in disbelief, then narrowed with furious realization.

“Fuck you,” You attempted to hide the quiver in your voice, “You fucking rotten, disgusting, repulsive human being.” Your teeth clenched, you knew your little outburst could very well get you fired but there was too much rage and liquor in your body to care.

He did nothing, not a brow raise, not a twist in his face, nothing. Perhaps he’d never had someone talk back to him like that. Without further explanation he just pushed past you, knocking your shoulder back with his weight. The gravity of what just happened settled into your chest, having such a cruel intimate moment in front of all your colleagues was probably the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you. Something you’d never be able to forget, something you could never forgive. Blood rushed to your cheeks as you felt all eyes on you and your heart began to race feeling the purest form of ‘flight’ mode you’d ever had in your life.

When you escaped there was no sign of Austin in sight. You knew he had to have gone back to the room, hopefully to pack his shit and leave. And if he wasn’t then you would, even if you had to beg to stay in someone’s room. All the way up the elevator your heart thumped against your rib cage, shaking out your hands and taking deep breaths mentally preparing yourself for confrontation.

You unlocked the door and found him standing there, looking like he got there just before you did. The anxiety of the confrontation dissipated the moment you laid eyes on his hardened face. “Get out.” You stated harshly, brushing past him yourself mimicking his actions from before.

“Intern there’s nowhere for me to fucking go.” His voice already raised and ready for battle, “I’m not fucking happy about it either but-“

Your brows scrunched together downwards, steam practically pouring from your ears. “You’re a liar! A filthy fucking liar! Get. Out.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not lying-“ He began but his incessant voice was driving you more livid by the minute.

“I know about the fucking vacant room Austin.” You growled, using his name and not Actor to let him know how serious you were. Just from how he opened his mouth to speak you could tell he was about to lie again so you beat him to it. “The front desk lady told me. Tell me Austin, if you hate me so goddamn much then why didn’t you just take the room? To fuck with me? To take me on some stupid drunken adventure to trick me into thinking you actually have a heart?”

He stayed silent, which only made you angrier. You just called him out on his bullshit, and he couldn’t even react. “Actually no, you know what? I’m the fucking liar. Because out there I called you a human being, but you’re too fucked up to be a human, you’re a fucking cockroach – I try to stomp you out but you keep fucking coming back.” When the words left there was an immediate sense of release, everything that had built up in your system spilled out.

“Oh, I’m a cockroach? If I’m such a cockroach, then why do you keep coming back for more huh?” He hissed, his arrogant scrunched face pissed you off even more. He had no right to talk to you like that after what he did. “I didn’t hear you complaining when I was making you cum.” Purposely using jarring sexual defenses to hurt you.

You thought lava was about to start seeping through your skin, what made it worse was that you didn’t have an answer. “Augh!” You grunted, pacing in a short lap, your fingers curling around air. “You are so fucking infuriatingly heartless it’s nauseating!”

He scoffed, “Well, I may be heartless, but you’re fucking naïve.” He snarled. “Naïve to think I would ever actually enjoy your company outside of your body.”

Your jaw dropped, tears pricked your eyes again realizing how senseless you were to have thought he was anything else but the arrogant, cruel man you met that first day on set. The building rage turned your tears into a terrifying laugh, “Oh, my body huh? That’s funny because out there you said you’d never touch me, when in there” Pointing to the back door leading to the hot tub, “You touched me with nothing in return for you. You were the one who wanted to ‘take care of me’, you held me, you called me pretty!” The ending sounding so pathetic, instantly regretting the vulnerability knowing it would be used as ammo.

He cackled, “Oh c’mon Intern you can’t be serious, nobody ever taught you not to believe the things men say when they’re drunk? It didn’t mean anything, I was drunk, I lied.”

The words sliced like blades and every ounce of restraint drained from your body. “You are by far the worst person I’ve ever had the disgrace of knowing. I wish I never fucking met you. If I could go back in time, I would turn down my apprenticeship. My apprenticeship, because I’m not and have never been a fucking intern!” Your voice raised into a yell, “I would throw away my entire career if it meant I could avoid ever crossing paths with you.”

A few moments passed and he was still there, silent and blank. You couldn’t read him at all, if he was angry or sad or insulted. He could’ve easily turned it on you, but he didn’t. He just stared at you.

Everything from the first day on set to the day of the snowstorm, yesterday and everything in between, compounded in your mind. Every insult, every backhanded comment, every accusation replayed in your head. No one had ever made you feel as low and as shitty as he did. The lump from before reclaimed its place in your throat and tears began to pool in your eyes, finally needing real answers. “Why do you treat me like this huh? Why do you say the horrible things you say to me? Call me all the vile names you do? What did I ever fucking do to you?” While you were holding back tears your voice remained furious and combative. “Why do you fucking hate me!”

His brows furrowed and his sharp jaw noticeably clenched, “You’re just fucking infuriating and annoying and it- it just drives me fucking insane!”

“What does! What the fuck do I do that bothers you so fucking much!” You nearly screamed out.

“You- just-“ He was grasping at straws, “No matter how much I try to hate you I fucking can’t!” His words darted from his tongue faster than he had time to process. His widened eyes gave away how much he regretted his slip up.

“W-What?” You stuttered out confused, that being the last thing you expected him to say. The rapid thumping of your heart accelerated, allowing only short breaths and you even felt a little lightheaded. You were overloaded, angry, confused, hurt, heartbroken, embarrassed. The small bit of control you had left was gone and the tears made their full appearance.

The minute he noticed the tears streaming down your face, Austin’s twisted face softened right before your eyes, even softer than the night before. “I-“ He stepped towards you but you immediately winced and recoiled from him.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” You cried out wiping the tears from your face in an attempt to halt them.

In true Austin fashion, he didn’t listen, and his hands found your own on your cheeks. In an even stranger turn of events, he leaned down and placed a long kiss on your lips. Then he gently pulled your hands from your face, you looked up at him with watery puzzled eyes. You instinctively smacked his arm to push him away, but his strong arm didn’t budge.

He cupped your cheeks in his hands and placed a tender kiss under each stream of tears. “I’m sorry.” He said quietly after each kiss. Every single action he did was like a twisted turn on rickety rollercoaster ride. He returned to your lips, pressed another kiss followed with, “I’m sorry.” He whispered, an extra pillowy light kiss, “I’m sorry.” He repeated, another kiss, another apology. He trailed his lips down to just below your ear, stamping additional kiss there, “I’m sorry.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as he pressed another sloppy kiss below your ear, “I’m sorry.” No matter how furious you were didn’t stop the butterflies in your tummy. A longer, sloppier kiss further down your neck with a raspy, “I’m sorry.” Sent a buzzing through your chest and directly to your hips.

Maybe it was the same for you, no matter what horrible things he did or said to you, no matter how much you tried to convince yourself you hated him, you couldn’t. Maybe you were just as fucked up as he was.

“I’m sorry, let me show you how much.” He muttered against your skin, his fingers delicately smoothing down your sides like he was plucking a harp.

The shift from abhorrent to sweet gave you whiplash, not knowing which one was genuine. You squeezed your eyes shut, forcing any tears out, the salty liquid dripping off your chin. “Austin, I can’t.” You breathed out, the panic attack-like heaving never left. “Austin, you literally just humiliated me in front of everyone. You called me a filthy whore nobody, in front of everyone.” Reluctantly pulling from his grasp. His once venomous eyes now soft and apologetic, but that’s exactly what he did wasn’t it? He’d wrap you back in his hold like prey, constrict you until you were blue in the face, still hypnotizing you with snake eyes. You were a rat and he a cobra trapped in a 10 gallon tank, and he was still convincing you that he wasn’t trying to consume you whole. “I just can’t. I just- I respect myself too much. And I need you to go. I need to be alone.”

He stepped towards you once more, his fingertips ran down the back of your arms reaching your hands, taking them tenderly into his. “I’m so sorry y/n. I won’t do it again. I promise.” He bargained in a tone so quiet you’d think he was paranoid of people hearing him from behind the walls. “I’ll never talk like that ever, ever again.”

“Austin, I don’t know what you want from me.” You slipped from his hands, “But there won’t be another ‘again’. You were right the other day on set, this shouldn’t have happened.” Your voice cracked, “I need you to leave. Now.”  

His look faltered, a look you’d only ever seen on the faces of defeated Olympians. “Okay.” He said lowly, stepping forward and cupping your face then pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. His misty blue eyes looked down at you, “If you ever wanna cash in that apology, you know where to find me.”

Without another word he gathered his things and left to find the other room. The minute he was out the door, every emotion you had suppressed from the event took over. You doubled over gripping onto your stomach as you heaved, rivers of tears pouring from your eyes. Tight twists and knots wrapped around your abdomen, constricting you like the snake he was.

You stumbled to the bed and fell in it, wrapping the sheets around you and like a 15-year-old with their first heartbreak, you wailed into the pillow. You never felt so worthless, so pathetic, so stupid. You were so fucking stupid for letting him slither his way into you the way he did. How could anyone talk about someone like that? Someone who just last night was so sweet and gentle with you. Someone who said they didn’t mean any of it but then wanted to apologize so tenderly?

It made you sick to think how you let such evil into your body. You weren’t even able to say that you missed the red flags, you didn’t, you saw them clearly and raced past them. He showed you exactly who he was, and still let yourself believe he was something he wasn’t.

Yeah, your house was now haunted, but you were the one who invited the demon in.

taglist: @lindszeppelin @steph-speaks @sagesolsticewrites @presleysdarling @purejasmine @slowsweetlove @powerofelvis @pennyroyalcreep @navsblog @eliseinmemphis @cryingabtab @ab4eva @samfangirls @julie181 @ccab @denised916 @katelswan @amaliking @michellelv @butlersluvbot @coloradohighs @rairaielv @centaine @babyminghao @h3ll0k1tt9 @tchalametishot @austinbutlerinleather @softsatnin @lillypink @babyhoneypresley @richardslady121 @emmymaehereeeeee @18lkpeters @rairaielv

@soundslikediamonds @someonedateme @bxxbxy @xmusse @kingdomforapony @galaxygirl453 @marlowmode @oldermenluverrr @saesire @thatbanditqueen @ariana-c-c @dellibean @verstappenmax1 @melodysfilms @mazzystarwhor3 @angiedawn02 @kpres2875 @dylanobandposts21 @tommydarlings @inner-monologue @samfangirls @elvispresleyisfit12 @guacala @xstrengthxinxtragedyx 💓

If you'd like to be tagged in a potential Part 4 please comment 💗

author notes:

thank you all SO much for all the love and support on this story, it has truly been overwhelming. i know my numbers aren't as big as others but they're big to me - appreciate EVERY comment, message, ask, etc. i love you guys so much - i never expected this fic to get that much attention so again, thank you xx

if you enjoyed this story/my writing pls consider giving my main fic, Forever Winter, a read - if you like angsty sad smutty you’ll probably like it lol

also pls consider giving this a like, comment or reblog ♡

[demonictumble]

fic rec list (1/??? )

this is a fic recommendation list for whomever wants a good read. All of these are on AO3. I have not provided links, so just search them up!

If you do end up reading any of these, or really any fic in general, remember to leave the author comments!! They deserve them, esp because they do this for free and they deserve to know how beautiful their writing is and how appreciated they are.

My PSA: COMMENT ON FICS AND DONT TAKE AUTHORS FOR GRANTED

DC..

IMPORTANT NOTE I am not a religious fan where I only like a fic when it adheres to canon characterization or texts. I can enjoy fics even when they completely throw off what's actually canon and that's okay for me, but it might not be for you. So just keep this in mind and the back button exists for a reason if you don't like something.

Buy Back the Secrets by Sundiscus (incomplete)

Tim Drake and Kon El centered!! OH MY GODS. I could rave on and on about this fic all day but I'll have to keep it brief. I've reread at LEAST 5 times. It's brilliant. The writing, the plot, the characterizations!! They are incredible. If I had to use a phrase to describe it, it would be "identity shenanigans and timkon" but that simplifies the absolute masterpiece that it is SO MUCH

Executive Assistant to the Batman by heartslogos (complete)

Tim is basically Bruce Wayne's assistant and is desperately trying to avoid letting them know that he knows. This is complete crack, but it is hilarious. The writing is so funny and It's what I need after a bad day or anything tbh. It may not be completely true to characters or whatever, but it makes up for it a thousand times over in spirit and the laughs it's produced from me.

anything (not the title because literally ANYTHING) by IzzyMRDB

I can rave about them all day because the dc/batfam fics I have seen them right are all so delicious and I devoured them far too fast and momggg its just so good. and I love their writing style <3

Reverse Robin AU by yellow_cabellero (complete)

I CANNOT DO THIS SERIES JUSTICE WITH MY WORDS. IT is a must read for me. The writer writes spectacularly and the characterization, even though its a reverse robin, feels on point, especially considering the circumstances (Im a huge believer in circumstances shape a person's personality, which is what I think occurs beautifully in all of these fics). They're just so GOOD.

Also this author has a STEPH FIC that is stunning. 10/10. Steph is a character that doesn't get the appreciation she deserves, so this fic was especially more touching for me. It was terrific seeing her girl bossing in the 90s (IT ALSO FELT SO PERIOD ACCURATE CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT). Not to mention, the author shows off character flaws in a believable manner and nobody is a Mary Sue and it's just EVERYUTHING IS JUST *chefs kiss* by them.

The Fishbowl by LordLuxury (complete)

This is Dick Grayson centered. THEY HAVE MADE A MASTERPIECE. I genuinely mean it. Dick is constantly trying to pull the family together, he is trying to be the glue as everything tries to go the opposite. LET THIS MAN HAVE HIS FAMILY. This had me in shambles. Bad Dad Bruce hurt me, but it was just so realistic. That's what gets me. The whole dynamics portrayed in The Fishbowl are so goddamn realistic and it feels so real. Everyone is flawed in their own way and its just... PLEASE READ IT I BEG OF YOU.

Love and Bruises by Acin_Grayson and Hoebiwan (complete)

Despite what the title may suggest, this is actually funny! Jason thinks Batman is abusing Bruce. And I just remember dying of laughter as I read this. Terrific! Would read and Will read again

Marvel (I am a movies fan so most if not all fics I recommend from here on out will be probably based on movies!)

Tennessee Outreach for Spider-Man and Friends by ciaconna

GREAT FIC. Harley (potato gun kid in one of the iron man movies for those who don't remember) gets an internship with Tony stark for college application reasons and its to help Spiderman. Peter Parker and Harley whateverhislastname is such a funny duo and they made the fic spectacular. Terrific writing omg.

Peter and the Jailbirds by beautifullights

I THINK THIS FIC HURT ME. I don't really remember much bc its been a year and a half, but I think my emotions remember because I feel mildly sad when I think about it. Peter is on the raft and bonds with the ex-avengers also on the raft. The premise of a teenager possibly spending the rest of his life in prison is terrible, but I swear this fic has funny moments and the conversations that occur are to die for because the WRITING. WHEW.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? by theskeptileptic

Tony survives and it's set after No Way Home. Where I'm pretty sure the only people dead are May and Pepper. Morgan saves the day by remembering her big brother (Im a sucker for big brother Peter arc). Peter is kind of a mini Tony in this one I think, which is such an interesting take. And it's such a coming home story and its just so beautiful.

Cross Overs:

Even Heroes Have the Right To Dream by Bounemr (complete)

mlb/dc crossover!! where marinate and Jon are retired superhero and go to college together! Great writing and plot with a good ending. Fluffy for the most part as far I as I can remember (it's been a year since I've read it so you know it's good if I can still remember)

Hired Hands by neighborhood_yogurt (incomplete)

Percy Jackson/ DC crossover!! It's been a while since I've read this one too but It's stuck with me. It's hilarious and I need to reread it but Percy is accidentally on Penguin's payroll because he's just a dumb blonde at heart, but it's okay we all love him. And Shenanigans occur. I don't remember exactly what happens so reminder to read this again for myself as well!

(IDK if any of these authors have tumblrs, if they do, someone please tag them and I will forever be in your debt)

[piastrisversion]

morning haze | matty healy x gn!reader

warnings: smut, morning sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it!), language

a/n: this might seem out of pocket (esp for someone who hasn't posted in months) but i was tried of only finding matty x f!reader shit so here i am LMFAO i still wanted female aligning readers to enjoy this so hopefully gender neutral is good! also elinore....don't be mad at me (also pictures aren't mine!)

the story will continue once you click "keep reading"

Matty always wanted to savour every miniscule moment with you. The way you felt. The way you both moaned at a single thrust. The way you would wrap round his throbbing cock. Everything, and I mean everything, he wanted to remember. That's why he never did quickies (unless on tour) or morning sex. His brain would be to foggy and if he came too fast, he would feel embarrassed. You didn't blame him. In fact, you felt the same way.

Most days started out the same. You both would take turns showering and do your respective skincare routines. He would always wake up first, you would follow a solid 5 to 30 minutes later. But this time, you woke up first. You turn over to check the clock, it's 6:42am. Jesus Christ, you think. You've never been up this early. You turn back over to see a half awake Matty fighting the warm embrace of the sheets clung to his half naked body. You feel the wave of lust wash over you. It's too early. He would never say yes. At least not this early.

You turn over and fall back asleep. About an hour later, you wake up to the bathroom light illuminate the rooms. Matty, still shirtless, starts brushing his teeth as you feel the same wave from the hour before consume you. God how much you wanted him to slid his throbbing hard cock inside of you. It wasn't a want, it was a fucking need. You tried to shake the feeling off but it wouldn't go away. You finally decided to cave in and ask. What's the worst that could happen.

You walk up to the bathroom and hug your handsome boyfriend from behind. You weren't over how pretty he could be. He was fucking gorgeous and he's all yours. "Mornin' babe." he mumbles with toothpaste still fresh in his mouth. "Morning" you respond back. You feel so embarrassed asking for him to fuck you, at this point you were debating on just forgetting about it and masturbate when he was having breakfast with the boys a few hours later after saying just one word to the man. He spits out the toothpaste and scans your body language. "Why so nervous, darling?". "Nothing" you stumble out. "It is something. Come on", he touches your arm, "Tell me, love." You check him out before doing something you thought you would never do. Make the first move.

You push his lips into yours as you begin to caress his freshly shampoo-and-conditioned hair. At first, he was shocked but he grew to like you in control. You thought he would push you away yet, that never happened. He runs in fingers through your hair as you start to position yourself for him. You touch his hardening cock. Feeling his head throb in your hand as he whimpers for you. "Baby, I really fucking need to be inside you". "I thought you didn't like fucking in the morning". "I guess I lied" he moans out.

"Fuck, stop teasing me." he says as he pulls down his pajama bottoms and boxers. "Fine." you say with a lust filled smile. You prop yourself back on the bathroom sink as you pump his cock with your hand. This is all you wanted. If sex was an art, this is your guy's magnum opus. "Please, love. Let me in." he begs. You nod and literally the next millisecond he thrusts himself inside of you. You both moaned at the initial thrust. He felt so good around you. Your tight hole pleasuring him just right.

You pull his hair, and by proxy, his head back as he continues to fastly make you love him even more. His large cock beating inside of you as your heads glisten in sweat. "Fuck, this position is uncomfortable" you somehow get to say in-between moans. "Well then, why don't we move". He picks you up and takes you from the bathroom to the bedroom with his cock still inside of you. He drops you onto the bed and lifts your legs. He stops himself before telling you to get on your knees. You gladly do so before Matty grabbing your hair and pulling you into his cock. He yanks your hair up and down while you circle your tongue around his cut cock.

Your worshipping everything about this man, his body, his cock, his personality, his pubes, his music, everything about him just with a flick of your tongue. You use one of your hands to play with yourself but you feel yourself climax. "Baby, baby, i'm about to come" you say between tugs of your hair. "I am too, darling.", he whimpers, "Get on the bed and open your legs for me, angel". You do as he says and the moment your legs are up he's back inside you.

You knew it would take less than 5 minutes for the both of you to come. But those 5 minutes were about to fucking count. He bucks his hips as you both moan in perfect synchronization. "Oh fuck Matty, i'm gonna come". "Me too, me too. Fuck, fuck, fuck". He puts his hands on the back of his head as he continues to thrust inside you.

"Ok baby, on three?" he says. You nood as he begin counting down. "One...". You swallow. "Two...". "Three! Oh fuck, babe. Yes, oh fuck, darling" he whimpers. "Yes, babe. Thank you" you moan. "No, thank you" he says as he falls on the bed next to you.

[aleksanderscult]

Analyzing "Demon in the Wood" (book) - Part 5

(Part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4)

(TW: self-harm!, suicide!)

Did you think I had forgotten about this meta?

ABSOLUTELY NOT

I was just dealing with a small health issue and before that I didn't have the motivation.

But now my meta-analyzing-self has returned with the fifth and last part of the book.

This is the passage from the book that actually made me think "What if Aleksander himself started sleeping less and less as an adult?". He "adopted" so many things from Baghra. It's possible that he did this too. Sleeping very few hours at night and always ready to leap at the first sign of danger.

Also, not Eryk not wanting to get smacked from his mom if she catches him. 😭

“It’s not enough.” His voice made me jump. The Darkling emerged from the shadows onto the lamplit path.

He really can startle people with his silent movements.

And the fact that he has been trained by hunters!

So he has learned from hunters, seers, Kings, Saints. Through all these four hundred years he gained an enormous amount of knowledge. (I would honestly sit and listen to his experiences for free)

HE'S TOO CUTE I JUST--

He really preferred to get interrogated by his mother for his wet clothes than get naked in front of a girl. 😭🫶

We went from this "He felt too shy to remove everything."

To this "His hand slid down to my hip. I felt a little trill of panic as my skirt slid higher and his fingers closed on my bare thigh."

They grow up so fast. 🥹🥹

It's that beautiful realization that he acts like a kid that makes me happy. All giggling and smiling while playing and swimming. This is the life he was supposed to live and he knows it.

He's so happy and hopeful that he starts making plans! 😭

He just wants to stay somewhere.

The Darkling never hated the otkazat'sya. It wasn't hate he felt but (overtime) he just only came to know their nature.

Eryk really liked Sylvi and thought her a good company to have her around.

He was aware of the way men looked at his mother.

I'm sorry but I find this line kind of awkward. It may only be just me. But little Aleksander seeing men giving lustful looks to Baghra is a little awkward. Like, man, not in front of her son. 😭

It was one more weapon in her arsenal.

Actually an anon once sent me an ask saying that the Darkling was promiscuous on his earlier days out of his need for touch and to gain information.

At that time I said that I doubted it since he had other means to gain information (through his spies, his natural charisma etc.) but @stromuprisahat discussed this in the comments and now I agree with her that Aleksander would sleep with someone to gain information. And, in the end, it was this line that fully convinced me. Just like I've said previously, Aleksander mimics his mother in almost everything. He just copies her behavior and patterns. And that's one more pattern that he must have copied. If he didn't have any other choice and was desperate (also it would depend on the person he had in front of him) Aleksander would go in "flirt mode" to get what he wants. Seduction was one weapon out of the hundreds in his arsenal, ready to be used if necessary.

Well hello socially awkward Aleksander.

That might be my hot take for him I think. Aleksander Morozova was actually socially awkward in sensitive matters (this moment right here, revealing to Ulla that they're siblings, his first kiss with Alina).

He was never raised in a stable home, never had healthy friendships and was raised by his mother very strictly and to value power over love. So whatever compassion he had as a person, he had it out of his own character. He was born with it and not nurtured to feel it or have it.

He doesn't know if this question about her mother is appropriate because he normally doesn't have conversations with peers and hasn't learned to.

It's a very sad but true fact about his character.

Eryk: "Thanks mom for nothing I guess".

I don't think people realize how cut off Aleksander was from literally everyone. And it was Baghra that cut him off. Not one single word about his father like she created him by herself or something.

(Now I also remembered how Alina was the only other person Aleksander could bond and be with since she was immortal too but Baghra took that from him as well. That woman really said "You'll have no one but me")

now I'm angry

He really really tries.

I've analyzed this moment a bit here but basically Aleksander was very awkward with others showing a vulnerable side. He isn't used to being close with others since he constantly travels, so here he does his best to comfort Annika as she lays bare her thoughts and feelings. He wants to let her know that her father didn't fail but did his best to protect his remaining family.

Hell nah!! 😭😭

Not my boy being protective over his new friend 😭😭

He only knows her for a few hours and he feels already close to her.

This shatters my heart because he doesn't want to believe the truth. He doesn't want to face it in the beginning. He's like "Oh. Maybe we're playing". He doesn't want to know that his friend has turned against him.

*tears up*

Can you hear me crying in the background? 🙂

He was so ready to protect her against a boy taller and stronger than him. Because they're friends. Friends are supposed to stick together.

*I'm ready to cry*

He's still in denial. 😭

And seeing the difference between this young Aleksander to his older version. The young one being naive, innocent and weak because he lets his emotions get the better of him. While the older one never begged for anything (at least directly), shed that side of him and still died because he still wanted things.

THE STRATEGIC BABY GRISHA IS HERE!!

He cleared his head and started thinking of ways to get out. And what better way of escaping than making Annika and Lev fight each other?

I personally think he said that line for two reasons:

He wanted Lev to know what he is in order to make him come over, break the ice and even stop Annika so he could buy himself some time and escape.

It's very interesting that he said "you won't be able to push her or her sister around anymore". He could have said "When Annika wears my bone she'll be more powerful than you" but he brought up Annika's vulnerable position and that shows that he understands why Annika does this.

But still he won't sit and let her finish the job.

His determination is the one quality that admire in him the most.

Take this moment for example. Someone just hit his head with a rock and he focuses on staying awake and alive. He doesn't allow his own body to take him down.

And here the same thing happens:

He's ready to vomit and pass out but he just forces his body to do more, to escape and survive. He never lets anything deter him from what he wants. And apparently it was Baghra that made him this way too:

She nurtured his strong will and over the years he became a driven, focused and determined person. And it were these qualities that kept him alive all those centuries.

When Alina left him behind on the Fold he survived and kept going.

When Sturmhond left him with a broken ship, a wounded arm and in the middle of nowhere, he survived and kept going.

When Alina betrayed him and brought a building down on his face, he survived, took the throne and rose again.

When his mother committed suicide, he cleared his head and continued his war.

When he came back from the dead, he still continued the march towards his ambition.

Literally nothing could stop him. Even "when he wasn't so sure he wanted to go on" he put his one foot in front of the other and set his eyes towards his dream. Whether that was to provide the Grisha a safe home, or the Ravkans a safe country or himself a companion to have. Or all of it together.

It was enough to make him less a boy than a prize.

A sad existence to live. Especially in your childhood. Your own people seeing you as a trophy to have, to wear and use than a human with a life of his own.

He revealed his gift to Annika when he showed kindness to her and now he pays the price.

His relationship with his mother is one of the most (if not the most) pivotal aspects of his character. Her words and teachings have been implanted deep inside him and can hear her often in his mind (just like he did in RoW).

Did he also hear her voice whenever he was close to dying in his adulthood?

He lashed out of fury, desperation and sadness for everything that happened that day. Just when he thought he had it all, fate came and took them out of his hands along with his hope.

Let me make a mark on this world before I leave it.

He succeeded in that. The Little Palace is the greatest proof and people talked about him long after he was gone (and they'll continue to do so).

As a child he saw how Grisha came and went from this world without "touching" anything. He didn't want the same thing to happen to him. He wanted to make something.

(Also the fact that he dropped that iconic, serious line at the age of thirteen. The Darkling at thirteen "I want to make something grand before I die". Me at thirteen: *watching Shakira clips and failing school like nobody's business* 😭😭)

I don't think most of us understand that Aleksander literally self-harmed himself to survive and save his mother's life as well. Used his own power against him to make sure that they won't be burned alive for what he did.

For the Ulle to be so sure that nothing would happen at their camp makes me think that they were being established successfully there for a long time. But that surety and protection faded because of his own people who are so desperate to gain power in order to survive. It's not a matter of selfishness. I don't see it that way. But it's a matter of survival especially since the Grisha are a group of persecuted people that are hunted down for their powers, feared and shunned.

Whether you believe it or not, I've seen people say that Aleksander didn't regret the fact that he was responsible for the burning of that village.

*screaming in frustration*

So. I'll repeat that it wasn't an act of selfishness but a matter of survival. It's not a black and white situation. If Aleksander had said the truth he would be executed alongside his mother for what he did. And the other Grisha wouldn't hesitate to do it since they already feared Baghra. And what people fear, they destroy.

Aleksander opted to cut his leg deep with his own powers, lose unconsciousness and tell a fake story to save his mother and leave from that settlement in one piece. But he didn't take pleasure from it. He wasn't glad when Lev and Annika died and felt sorry for their parents and their reaction. And now he feels sorry for the burning of the village. He knew they were innocent and he supposed they were going to interrogate them or something. But kill all of them? That he neither expected or wanted.

Look. I think Baghra loved her son. But let's be honest. If he wasn't so powerful, if he wasn't immortal he would cast him away the same way she did with his siblings. Sooo....yeah. It's a toxic kind of love. She loves him for what he can offer her (companionship mostly) so it's not an unconditional love. She mostly wanted to keep him safe because, if he died, she would be left with no one.

Bardugo in a podcast called her "a horrible, horrible mother" and she is. But I still find her a fascinating character that I can't get enough of for some reason. I don't like her but I find her interesting.

Honestly, me neither. Annika was not my favorite character in this story but I don't hate her for trying to kill him. She wanted to protect her family and their position in the camp. It's a bleak world for the Grisha and they have to "eat" each other to survive.

Aleksander really said: "I will make my people matter. I'll make them touch this world and make themselves known. We will be seen".

All the Grisha characters that were trained in the Little Palace owe their reputation to the Darkling. Alina would never know who she was and, even if she did, she would waste because she would be unable to use her powers without someone to guide her. Zoya would never achieve that reputation.

Grisha would just continue to live in caves and hidden establishments. Afraid to go out and show their powers to strangers.

By S&B the Grisha were still despised but there was a minority that held them in awe. But that did nothing to change the situation. Now they are seen but used by the Crown. It was the only place they could have in the kingdom.

It rose from the trees surrounding it like something carved from an enchanted forest, a cluster of dark wood walls and golden domes. As we drew closer, I saw that every inch of it was covered in intricate carvings of birds and flowers, twisting vines, and magical beasts.

“Welcome to the Little Palace,” said the Darkling.

He did it. The crazy son of a bitch did it. 🥹🥹

He managed to create a safe home for them. Made sure for them to be surrounded by other people like them, sitting in front of a warm hearth, in unity not in conflict with each other. Somewhere to rest their heads under the gorgeous carvings of vines and birds. A place to practice their powers freely and eat luxuriously. Somewhere to come back to, like all of us do when we want to go home. Somewhere to belong and somewhere to stay.

(fuck you Tolya for what you said in that duology. Fuck you and everyone who talks shit about Aleksander's greatest accomplishment)

That was the end of the book and I absolutely loved that story. I need 20 more novellas like this from the perspective of the Darkling from his earlier adventures. I'll analyze the Graphic Novel next.

[alwaysvivid]

𝐝 𝐮 𝐥 𝐜 𝐞 𝐭

sweet and soothing in all aspects especially in regards to a voice. delightfully pleasant.

PLOT chan is beyond sweet, he’s everything sora has ever wanted and more. she can feel herself falling for him but that was never part of the plan.

CHARACTERS lee sora ˒ bang chan & im changkyun

﹙ mentions kelsey @inter-stellar-jyp.⠀﹚

WORD COUNT 3.7k

GENRE angst ft some smut

PLAYLIST s o r a.

﹙ send in songs that remind you of sora.⠀﹚

a/n i haven’t written in literally 2+ years & it’s unedited so please PLEASE be nice to me. i’m proud to finally be writing again and trust there’s many more wips to come !

[ sept. ‘19 ]

sora needed a distraction and she needed it fast.

she hadn’t realised how far she had fallen until it was too late, until she found herself waking up in chans arms for the 9th consecutive morning. She had lived in chan’s dorm - and skin- for over a week , and yet she still wanted more. she could stay with him forever.

both vivid and stray kids were on vacation leaving chans dorm empty and sora available to keep him company. the vacant dorm allowed them to play house the full 2 weeks, ignoring the fact that they had barely even admitted having anything more than a sexual attraction to each other. within those walls they were soulmates who couldn’t be separated for even a second, she loved him and he loved her and they lived happily ever after.

they get to play pretend.

when it came to sora she had 1 golden rule that she made sure she never broke no matter what and that was don’t stay the night. waking up together was too intimate , that was how it started to get complicated. the domestic cuddles and sweet performing kisses always warped the boundaries of their relationship and sora did not have the energy for any of that. she just needed passion and attention then to be walked to the door and never spoken to until the next time she needed a warm body at night. she had become an expert in the game , and that was because she never broke her number 1 rule. but yet there she was day after day draped in one of chans oversized hoodies, hugging his back as he made her scrambled eggs just the way she liked them.

there werent words that could accurately explain how she felt about chan, the closest word she equated it to was obsessed, she was absolutely obsessed with every little detail about him. on the rare mornings that she woke up before him she found herself watching as the sun streamed through the miniscule gap between his curtains. she’d lie cramped into his bunk bed staring at him. she would watch the way his lashes fluttered ever so slightly against his soft pink cheeks. she should be embarrassed by how long she spent just looking at him, but to her own concern she did not care. she attempted to snuggle even closer to him as she connected every freckle on his face. his freckles were all faint and easily missed but sora noticed them early on. she would count every single one of his moles, they were only visible when she was this close to him. he had 7 scattered across his face. chan was a breath taking type of beauty, you don’t even realise you hadn’t taken a breath in 5 minutes until you’re passed out conveniently in his arms.

every time she’d sense him stirring beside her she’d act as if she had been asleep just like him, only to be ‘“woken up” by chans soft lips on her forehead and his rasp filled whisper of “good morning.”

every morning and every night she’d wait in anticipation for the gentle touches that always grew rougher , the sweet kisses that escalated until they were desperate and deep. she was obsessed with the way he’d look at her just before she came , like she was his absolute favourite thing to ever exist. her brain would fog as she begged for a kiss , his hands tightly gripping at the flesh of her thighs as he pulled her impossibly closer. He always whispered the prettiest words in that moment. sora sometimes felt like he kissed her like he actually was in love with her , like he was just as obsessed as she was

when people spoke about butterflies, sora never imagined them to be so overwhelming and nauseating. yet ,her heart never let her get up and leave thus stopping the weird stomach flutters. it all felt so real, she almost believed it too be real, almost. sora liked to believe she wasn’t delusional enough to think they actually were anything more than fuck buddies. but there she was lying awake almost every night hoping one day he’d roll over and say the words that scared her the most.

and that was delusional.

sora needed to feel grounded again, she had been floating for far too long she was losing herself. she had to get him off her mind and out of her system. she needed a distraction or maybe a reality check , whichever came first. bottom line was whatever she needed, she needed it immediately before her delusions lead to heartbreak and betrayal once again. which is all to explain how she found herself pressed against the door of a random club bathroom ,changkyun thrusting into her with the birthday dress he’d bought bunched at her waist.

the details of everything that lead to the current events hadnt yet registered in her brain. Somewhere between her tequila shots and martinis she found kelsey and asked for the tiny pill she knew she always had. honestly the details were lost in her brain but at least she wasn’t counting the moles on chan’s face.

“missed this. missed you.” changkyuns words came out choppy and muffled, his rambles almost incoherent due to his head being buried deep in her neck.his lips barely lifted from her skin as he spoke.but his words felt empty, he didn’t mean it and he didn’t bother trying to act like he did. at least chan felt genuine when he’d say the same thing , whether he actually was was a whole different story.

the bass boomed so loud that sora felt it against her back, the white wood doing very little to mute the music blasting on the other side nor was it any good muffling the obnoxious sound of skin slapping together. if anyone was within ear shot they knew exactly what was going on in the tiny-dirty- bathroom. it also didn’t help that changkyun decided to be particularly loud that day.

“you miss me too baby?” he lifted his head to make eye contact, his eyes dark and hooded. sora lifted a hand to brush the hairs sticking to his forehead to get a better look at him. he looked as good as she remembered. same sharp features she used to drool over, his stare just as hypnotizing as the last time, his dick filling her just the way it always did. there was a reason changkyun had sora under a spell for years, he was addictive.

sora nodded her head yes as her thumb dragged along his bottom lip pulling it down ever so slightly. changkyun had truthfully barely crossed her mind for the past 2 months but she agreed, hoping it would boost his ego and have him finish faster. changkyun chuckled as he nosed the strap of her dress until it fell off her shoulder, giving him just enough room to properly sink his teeth into her clavicle. “say it.” he demanded.

“missed you too.”

some twisted part of sora really did miss him. there really was something so familiar about the whole experience: the hollow feeling in her chest that she’d self medicate with alcohol and fickle relationships, the way every moment melted into each other as the bass of the speakers had her ears ringing, the way that changkyun looked at her and how their bodies moved together on the dance floor and the rushed kisses and movements against any surface they could find. even the emptiness of his words left some odd nostalgia in her.

she missed the way he would push her into the mattress till she felt like she disappeared, the shot of dopamine she’d get when he’d finally text her after disappearing for almost a month. changkyun kept her on her toes, had her wanting more every time. sora was never bored when it came to him, she never knew what to expect. the never ending excitement was also their downfall, the instability becoming all she knew.

sora wasn't stupid, she knew changkyun wasn’t good for her no matter how deeply in denial she was. she was aware it wasn't healthy to always leave his place feeling like a shell of herself, like it a piece of her was left behind . it left that ache in her chest that she grew accustomed to. but that was exactly what she needed, to be consumed by his meaningless touches, and let herself sink into the door. maybe then she’d wake up from the deluded dream she was living in with chan.

changkyun kissed up sora’s neck, pausing to bite into the flesh just under her jaw. chan usually sucked that spot. she couldn’t help but whimper ,slowly refocusing on the man in front of her. the tips of her long acrylic nails dug into his broad shoulders - chan was broader. she whimpered loudly as he started to suck on her neck harshly, definitely trying to leave a mark. he wanted everyone - chan - to know.

the words that changkyun whispered against the shell of soras ear didn’t register but she reacted by arching her back nonetheless. she used to fiend for moments where changkyun paid her this much attention but now all she could do was compare him. sora tried her hardest but she couldnt push away the sound of chans voice calling her pretty. she felt the ghost of his finger raking through her hair in the morning. she could feel him kissing her like he loved her. sora felt her eyes fill with tears as she forced them shut. trying to make the image of chan disappear. how did she let it get this far? why did she let anyone have this much of an effect on her. she hated it. she hated him and his stupid sweetness.

changkyun sped up at the sight of sora’s teary eyes , assuming it was his doing.

“feel that good baby ?”

sora didn’t reply just lulled her head back as the tears rolled down her cheeks taking her liner with it. it always smudged , it never lasted until the end of the evening.

she let out a small hum to appease him and it appeared to be exactly what he wanted.

“that’s right, better than that stupid boyfriend of yours?” he grumbled as he grabbed her jaw , his grip forcing her to face him. sora opened her eyes staring directly into his.

“i don’t have a boyfriend.”

her sentence came out short, her lack of breath abd already emotional state had her on edge. changkyun chuckled as his thumb pulled at her bottom lip jus as she had done earlier smudging her already messy lipstick. he pushed his thumb into her mouth slowly. “thought i lost you for a moment but you’re still mine. all mine.”

sora distracted him by sucking on his finger just as she’d always done. his eyes focused on her mouth as his thrusts sped up. she hated when changkyun said she was his. he’d go on and on about her being his but he was never hers. he made sure she knew that.

“i’ve never seen the point in exclusivity, no one keeps to it. someone always ends up lying to the other and cheating. just resentment and hatred everytime. why deal with all the rules and complications of relationships when you could just get what you want and leave.” the words once repeated to sora years ago rung loud in her ears as she tried willing away the tears.

changkyuns grip on her waist grew tighter as the strength that kept her up against the wall faltered slightly. “fuck, can i cum inside?”

“no.” she spoke quickly much to changkyuns surprise, she always let him cum inside.

sora tapped on his arm signaling for him to let her down. changkyuns face remained puzzled as he lowered her to her feet, the jelly state of her legs was the last thing on her mind. sora fell to her knees in the least elegant way possible, a bruise was sure to blossom in the morning. she tucked her hair behind her multi-pierced ear before opening her mouth slightly for changkyun to cum in. with a loud huff he tugged his fist up and down his shaft as he placed the salty tip on her tongue. his orgasm came in hot white spurts accompanied with changkyuns grunts. sora was thankful only a little bit got on her cheek, she really wasn’t in the mood for a full facial.

changkyun let out a soft sigh as he attempted to level his breathing. he watched as she crawled on the floor towards to roll of toilet paper, taking a bit and wiping at the sides of her mouth in an attempt to look presentable again. changkyun took note that she used to lick it up and open her mouth to prove she swallowed it all.

the tiny bathroom fell silent in a way that wasn't comfortable, it was agonizing. the sound of changkyuns zipper was all that could be heard in the small confines on the room. loud knocks filled the room as both their heads snon the door.

“just a minute.” sora yelled , surprised her voice wasn’t as horse as she thought it would be. she took a deep breath using one hand on the cool tiles of the wall and the other on the lid of the toilet for leverage to lift her up to her feet. despite being slightly unstable she managed to get up and look at herself in the grimey mirror.

sora looked at her reflection for far too long , she could feel changkyun staring at her in confusion. she couldn’t look away , the girl in front of her felt almost foreign. she hadn’t felt or looked like this in months and she didn’t like it yet she felt she deserved it. this is what girls like sora do. they don’t play house with sweet boys. they get get fucked in disgusting club bathrooms.

sora never felt like anything. she was just hollow and destructive. everything she touched felt like it was destined to fall apart.everytime anything felt good it would end leaving sora even more empty than she was before. a fun time until they get bored and move on to the next one. the constant rotation taking a piece of her until she had nothing left. the girl in the reflection looked hollow even with tears stains she looked devoid of emotion, devoid of a heart.

chan was good and kind and sora didn’t deserve all the good he had in him. she would ruin him just like she ruined everything else in her life. she didn’t want to ruin him but she couldn’t imagine leaving him. the come down was always more intense than the high and sora was feeling it. it was like withdrawals but from a person. she couldn’t breathe. fucking changkyun didn’t even work. she couldn’t escape him, her old ways weren’t working. there was no escaping anymore she was too deep in and her heart was doomed.

the knocks against the door were louder the second time pulling sora out of her haze. with a huff she swung the door open not even warning changkyun as she stood staring blankly, “oh my fucking god, here have the bathroom! fuck!” she pushed past the girl as they exchanged looks. sora could tell that she said something back but she didn’t care, she needed to get out of there. changkyun followed behind her as she walked off. fixing his hair as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder forcing her to stop in her tracks.

“we off to my place then?” sora kept walking as she felt his words like a weight on her chest. she couldn’t do it.

nothing. sora felt, heard, smelt and had nothing. the loud beating of her heart was the only thing reassuring her that she was, in fact, alive. she didn’t feel alive, she hadn’t for a long time.

taking deep breaths in through her nose sora tried to shut her brain up. she was spiraling she could feel it, but no matter what exercise she did that her new psychiatrist had taught her she couldn’t shut up her brain. her thoughts growing louder as her breathing became more labored.

“wait sora-“

before she even processed anything sora was walking. there were indistinct voices as she moved. it was as if they were screaming after her trying to get her to stop as she exited the club. she couldn’t tell who it was specifically,everything was blurred. she didn’t listen to them all she cared about was that she had to get out. the smoke filled room was suffocating her.

sora blinked slowly to adjust her eyes from the red neon lights to the dim street lamps along the road as she walked down it. she barely knew where she was going or what she was planning to do when she got there but she was moving and there was no stopping her. only after walking for some time did sora register that she didn’t have shoes on. they were definitely left in the bathroom but she didn’t care, at least she was out.

sora’s feet moved on their own accord,her mind still foggy. she couldn’t process where she was but it was familiar enough that even her overwhelmed and high mind was directing her somewhere.

her breath was still shaky and uneven as she stared at the same door she had walked out of just hours before. with whatever energy she had left she lifted her hand to hit her knuckles against the wood.

“sora?” the voice was soft yet strong. chan. she walked back to his dorm. she knew she hadn’t gone far when she left for the club. sora felt so embarrassed her stomach turned, why did she study the route from the club? she paid so much attention that even as fucked up as she was she still managed to somehow get herself back to the person she was running away from.

she didn’t reply, she couldn’t. his face was painted with concern yet he looked just as beautiful as she remembered. her beautiful boy. “come on let’s get you back inside where it’s warm and dry,” he spoke softly and slowly, not wanting to cause anymore damage than what was already done.

sora hadn’t even realized that it had been raining. her mind was too busy to notice that her body was soaking wet. she must’ve looked a mess , the tear stained look she had early barely compared to the state she was in now.

she tried to focus on his words and process what he was saying but the sound of her own heart beating in her ears drowned out anything and everything around her. the silence that filled the dorm was so loud sora thought she might scream. it felt like it was crushing her . why of all places was she there, with chan in his arms shaking. chan’s hands softly stroked her hair bringing her back to him. her breathing mimicked his as he attempted to help her as best as he could.

sora took a deep breath and allowed herself for the first time in months to feel at ease. she could feel him press his lips on her cheek like he always did when he tried to soothe her. it worked. she couldn’t understand why or how but chan never failed to make her feel at ease.

“you’re okay .” chan repeated in a whisper, continuously stroking her hair soothingly. sora forced herself to believe it even just for the night

in that moment chan didn’t care to ask where she had been or who she was with or where her shoes were or why she walked in the rain at 4am. he had to help her. he gently removed her makeup and changed her out of her soaked dress, his large sweatshirt engulfing her and surrounding her with his comforting scent again.

sora held him tightly that night, she pushed away the thoughts that she needed to leave, run away before the inevitable heartbreak. her heart was swelling and thumping the way she knew was dangerous,she was in love. and for the first time in years sora let herself feel everything. every nauseating butterfly, sickeningly soothing kiss to her face and headache inducing heartbeat; all of it. she wanted it all.

sora was in love and it was terrifying.

[depressedhouseplant]

🔞 Just Fucking Write - Day 36 🔞

Prompt: Doting BF Felix x Fem!Reader

Tags: Narrator is female, masturbation(ish), cockwarming, pet names

A/N: I guess you could consider this a continuation of Day 26.

After spending almost 5 minutes trying to dice a quarter of an onion I was ready to throw both the onion and the knife at the wall.

“What’s the matter?” Felix asked.

“Ten minute prep time my ass. Of course I guess these Mormon trad wives can dice an onion in about 0.003 seconds. This is what I get for saying we need to cook at home more,” I huffed.

“Those Mormon trad wives also have like 8 kids and need to dice an onion in 0.003 seconds,” Felix pointed out.

“I suppose,” I glared at the offending vegetable and kitchen utensil.

“Let me help you relax,” he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck.

“But the food,” I protested.

“Can wait. You need to relax a little first, stubborn girl,” he replied.

“I thought being stubborn was one of the things you liked about me?” I teased.

“It is, but it’s not very good for your mental health sometimes,” he said.

“What did you have in mind?” I asked, finally letting myself relax against his body.

“I could eat you out again or you could have my cock. You’re going to come either way so really it’s just how,” he said. He grazed his hands under my shirt and splayed his fingers across my belly. “Tell me what you want and it’s yours.”

“Cock. I want your cock,” I breathed.

“All yours,” he grinned with his lips on the back of my neck. He awkwardly walked us to the bedroom since he didn’t let go of me.

“Can I undress you since it worked so well last time?” he asked.

“Yes,” I nodded. This time I didn’t have a bra on since I was in my house clothes, but I still got just as wet as he carefully undressed me.

“Would you like to try?” he questioned. I could already see a bulge building in his sweatpants.

“Yes,” I replied. I pulled his shirt off and ran my hands down the curves of his torso. I wasn’t sure how I’d landed a boyfriend with a visible 6 pack, but I took some time to appreciate the work he put in at the gym. Then I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of his sweats and pulled them down. His cock was leaking and leaving a visible wet spot on his underwear.

“So you want me too?” I grinned.

“Baby, I want you so bad right now my cock literally hurts,” he laughed. I pulled off his underwear and his cock bounced free.

“Then take me,” I got on the bed and rolled on my side.

“You want it that way I see,” he said, crawling behind me. “Your human dildo.”

“It sounds so crass when you put it like that,” I wrinkled my nose.

“And only you would say ‘crass’ as I’m about to put my dick in you,” he teased. He slid into me and my finger was immediately on my clit. We’d discovered this position a while ago and I loved the feeling of having him inside me while I pleasured myself. He was more than capable of making me come, but I suspected part of him liked just being inside me. My clit was already swollen and sensitive.

“I’m gonna come fast,” I told him as I rolled my clit between my index and middle finger. My pussy clenched down on his cock and I heard a grunt behind me.

“In you or on you?” he asked.

“On me,” I panted as I felt myself getting closer to the edge with even the slightest touch. Felix had his arm wrapped around my waist and his chin hooked over my shoulder. Him panting in my ear was definitely not helping me slow down. Then I felt my pussy start to spasm.

“Fuck,” I felt like my whole body lit up when I came. I barely registered Felix pulling out when I finished, but I rolled on my back. He got between my legs, pumped his cock a few times, and came all over my stomach and chest. There weren’t many days I was in the mood to have come all over me, but it made me feel owned. Today I needed to feel owned. He lowered himself on top of me and kissed me.

“Ready to finish that onion now?” he asked.

“After a shower,” I replied.

“Reasonable,” he agreed. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” I smiled, basking in the afterglow.

[faux-fires]

(Not-a) Drabble-a-day #5

let us hold a memorial service for the 200 word a day limit because i clearly do not know her. rip my ability to keep things concise at the moment i’m taking anything under 1k as a victory

(h)anders not-a-drabble day #5, prompt, “Naked”, some (relatively) non-explicit sexy times herein

The night had been going great, but it was what happened after they fucked that throws Anders for a loop.

His experience has taught him that fucking is the climax (so to speak) of the evening, followed by a hasty separation lest you get caught. Even in the Pearl he got bounced out after finishing, Madame needing the bed for someone else.

But Hawke wants to cuddle, and Anders, unsure how it works, submits to it with a white-eyed tension that almost undoes all the good work getting his back blown out did an hour before. He's handsy. He keeps kissing Anders, on the face sure but also on the throat and chest and arms; his beard is whisper-soft. And he won't stop petting Anders, stroking his hand along the curve of his shoulder, sweeping his thumb over his ribs, fingers seeking out knots of scar tissue and tracing them with a calm acceptance Anders has no idea what to do with.

Anders knows he can be... intense. He doesn't know how not to be; the emotions are too big for him to keep inside. But he has absolutely no idea what to do with the quiet contentment on Hawke's face, the satisfaction he sees there. Perhaps it's a sex thing? Carefully he offers, "I should be ready for another round in about fifteen minutes," and when Hawke's eyes widen, adds, "Grey Warden, remember?"

"Maker's furry arse crack," Hawke breathes, his reverent tone making his blasphemous words something of a mixed message. "It's like you stepped right out of the Fade," and Anders must have misheard, because he's not - that's not - that cannot be him.

He's mean. He's paranoid. He's crazy. He's angry. He lives in a fucking sewer. He literally almost killed a helpless child not even twelve hours ago, and he feels himself flinch, but before he can open his mouth and say any of this Hawke's eyes go soft and he says, "Stay with me, love."

Anders swallows. "Where else would I go?"

Hawke shrugs. "I don't know," he says, and he rolls on top of Anders, then, in a fluid motion - Anders is aware he's flushing, his skin singing with the ghosts of before, which is ridiculous because Anders once sucked off a senior enchanter under a dining table ten minutes before curfew. He once got fingered by Neria Surana in a laundry closet right in front of a Tranquil, whose only comment was to ask him not to come on the clean towels. He once took himself in hand in the baths of the apprentice dorm with a templar wandering up and down the tubs, and came while making direct eye contact. He cannot be blushing, now, here, because Hawke is lying naked atop him, looking at him with affection.

How humiliating it is, to be brought down not by the amazing sex or the flowery words exchanged leading up to the moment, but by the aftermath - for the gentle touch of Hawke's calloused palms against his hips, the whiskery press of his beard to Anders's throat as he kisses his way along Anders' jawline. He's had so much sex, and none of it ever felt like this - the vulnerability not just of being still abed after the act but in being loved. His breathing is too quick and he's blinking too fast and Hawke doesn't seem to mind, not even slightly, and is instead treating him like something fragile: something to be treasured.

Once Anders got caught in the infirmary after hours with two other apprentices and a well-polished wooden wand, and paraded back to the dorm by Gregoir himself, not allowed time to dress: and he still felt more clothed then than he does now, when Hawke kisses him so sweetly and says, "Would you like that sandwich now, or after?"

Maker's furry arse crack, indeed.

[stormyoceans]

i didn't mean to scare you, but i'm definitely not going to give up brainrot in the next 5 weeks. i even found a little brainrot in cherry magic, but that was for the "total nerd". i really enjoyed ep 6, but i'm not sure i'll be able to watch it again anytime soon. it was TOO TOO much, yk. cheeks! interrupted kiss! you're right as always, monica! i think that no one even doubts that puen and talay are looking for eo in another universe, bcs this is too much. like p'aof called p'x and they discussed over a cup of coffee which moments from vice versa should be added to the series. they filmed the proposal scene almost identically! there are neat pink bushes in the background, and mork gets down on one knee. the only thing missing is a sunflower and a fucking lays. i died already at this moment, my soft brain refused to function. i'm sure you do too. it also seems to me that something lies on the surface, but we don’t see it. 'you're gonna leave me soon' you said this and i remembered that scene with the hands near the gate of the tun's house in ep 7. 'the crossing the line' this sounds like a conspiracy theory, but what about an hourglass in which sand moves up and down as if btw universes? ok, my brain is all pink, full of cotton candy, soaked in oishi. i'm happy you watched it live again. and i'm touched that you look forward to my crazy posts every week. see you in ep 8. fandee na.

you don't have to apologize, pinkybrain!!!!! im just an overworrier by nature ;;;;;; and while i hope you do know that i look forward to your vice versa brainrot messages as much as i do to the last twilight episodes themselves, i don't want you to ever feel obligated to write to me. i AM really happy that we're still gonna lose our minds over parallels together for the next 5 weeks tho!!!!!!!! (THIS SHOW IS GOING WAY TOO FAST HOW ARE WE ALREADY AT THE LAST 5 EPISODES IM GONNA CRY)

okay but since we got p'jojo watching and reacting to ep 6 im gonna need p'x to do that as well before the show ends. i just need him, p'aof and jimmysea in the same room together either admitting they planned all these parallels or trying to bullshit their way through the episode without mentioning vice versa once but just going like 'this scene feels familiar'. SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN

ALSO YOU'RE SOOOOOO RIGHT THAT'S WHY THE "YOU'RE LEAVING ME" FELT SO FAMILIAR IT'S LITERALLY TALAY SAYING IT TO PUEN ALL-OVER AGAIN

AND THE FACT THAT THESE SCENES HAPPEN IN EPISODE 7 FOR BOTH SHOWS AND BOTH PUENTALAY AND MORKDAY ARE WEARING GREEN AND OFF-WHITE.....

COINCIDENCE??????? I DO NOT THINK SO