#WHAT IF I GO INSANE. JUST ABSOLUTELY CUCKOO BANANAS

[stormyoceans]

i didn't mean to scare you, but i'm definitely not going to give up brainrot in the next 5 weeks. i even found a little brainrot in cherry magic, but that was for the "total nerd". i really enjoyed ep 6, but i'm not sure i'll be able to watch it again anytime soon. it was TOO TOO much, yk. cheeks! interrupted kiss! you're right as always, monica! i think that no one even doubts that puen and talay are looking for eo in another universe, bcs this is too much. like p'aof called p'x and they discussed over a cup of coffee which moments from vice versa should be added to the series. they filmed the proposal scene almost identically! there are neat pink bushes in the background, and mork gets down on one knee. the only thing missing is a sunflower and a fucking lays. i died already at this moment, my soft brain refused to function. i'm sure you do too. it also seems to me that something lies on the surface, but we don’t see it. 'you're gonna leave me soon' you said this and i remembered that scene with the hands near the gate of the tun's house in ep 7. 'the crossing the line' this sounds like a conspiracy theory, but what about an hourglass in which sand moves up and down as if btw universes? ok, my brain is all pink, full of cotton candy, soaked in oishi. i'm happy you watched it live again. and i'm touched that you look forward to my crazy posts every week. see you in ep 8. fandee na.

you don't have to apologize, pinkybrain!!!!! im just an overworrier by nature ;;;;;; and while i hope you do know that i look forward to your vice versa brainrot messages as much as i do to the last twilight episodes themselves, i don't want you to ever feel obligated to write to me. i AM really happy that we're still gonna lose our minds over parallels together for the next 5 weeks tho!!!!!!!! (THIS SHOW IS GOING WAY TOO FAST HOW ARE WE ALREADY AT THE LAST 5 EPISODES IM GONNA CRY)

okay but since we got p'jojo watching and reacting to ep 6 im gonna need p'x to do that as well before the show ends. i just need him, p'aof and jimmysea in the same room together either admitting they planned all these parallels or trying to bullshit their way through the episode without mentioning vice versa once but just going like 'this scene feels familiar'. SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN

ALSO YOU'RE SOOOOOO RIGHT THAT'S WHY THE "YOU'RE LEAVING ME" FELT SO FAMILIAR IT'S LITERALLY TALAY SAYING IT TO PUEN ALL-OVER AGAIN

AND THE FACT THAT THESE SCENES HAPPEN IN EPISODE 7 FOR BOTH SHOWS AND BOTH PUENTALAY AND MORKDAY ARE WEARING GREEN AND OFF-WHITE.....

COINCIDENCE??????? I DO NOT THINK SO

[maximoffsgirl]

little rant bc I might go crazyy

I will honestly go absolutely insane, nuts, cuckoo bananas, until the national exam. I got 960 on the essay I did last weekend, and that's good as hell, but still 😭 but I need what's considered a high grade to get in what I want and it's freaking me outttt

if I don't get in this is year it's fine, I can stay in my city and study another year, no problem. If I do get it that's wonderful, but it also means I'll have to move to a big city, and probably live alone. which is not bad, just scary. Like, I don't know how to socialize, I dont even know how I have friends??

so ill be alone, in a city i don't know, living alone or with someone I don't know, going to a place that I don't know, it's too much change for one single person😭

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Welcome Home (Part 4)

part 4 !! gonna finish going through the site and work out all the secrets (hopefully)

spoilers under the cut

ok so i was going through and re-opening all the secrets and !! i was showing my brother the 'You' page from The Neighborhood, talking about how i couldnt believe i missed this the first time i went on The Neighborhood

then i went to the so below page wondering 'hmm is this different' cuz i know i looked at it last time but i only really glanced at it and gUESS WHAT

spiral. a spiral got drawn in and im so mad i didnt wait the first time but its ok! i found it now

leads to a page called 'Neighbor'

OH!! THE RECORD IS SHAKING !!! so this is important definitely

no Wally BUT it is a series of sounds that must have come from Home because thats the only character who cant talk and is said to communicate through sounds

also im pretty sure that its morse code but i have no idea how to transcribe it so,,,, i might try later or just find the answers somewhere else LOL

the sounds in question are clicks and squeaks, so im pretty sure the clicks are dots and the squeaks are dashes

but other than that ive got no idea dude LOL

well thats interesting why is it like that

OH MY GOD THERE ARE TRANSCRIPTS !!!! I GOT THIS BY COMPLETE ACCIDENT I WAS JUST TRYING TO PAUSE THE VIDEO OMG !! well now i have to check all the other bug videos

oh my god i knew there was something off about that little gray rectangle at the bottom of the video holy shit

looking at the transcript for Sally and Julie in a play, and at the end Sally calls Wally 'walliford' which is insane actually

ok now onto the merchandise page !!

oh my god its a real life telephone

ITS A FUCKING BOX !!!

u dont understand this is insane

i fucking love Welcome Home and all the art in it so cool

OH MY GOD THERE'S AUDIO FOR IT HOLY SHIT

Wally's audio isnt available cuz its got a glitch hmmmmmm hmmm

this is so cool though

ok so i was just hovering my mouse over all the buttons and actually you can click the red button which is Wally's button which leads to a page called 'duet'

im not gonna listen to that yet because i wanna see all the stuff on the merchandise page first

i will be going from right to left (pink/Julie button to purple/Eddie button)

so Julie is as cute as ever LOL its funny that she immediately assumes the silence is some kind of game also how would Quiet Sandwich Jumprope work?? i lowkey want to play just to see how it would work

next up is orange which is Sally !!

i love Sally she's so dramatic LMAOAO yes Sally u ARE taking the words out of my mouth also like where did that 'ta-da' sound come from?? does she just have a ta-da sound effect button on hand or something ??? thats hilarious i can totally see her doing that new headcanon

next up is yellow which is Frank !!

this is so funny its the way that Frank gets so mad when he thinks its Barnaby and its the way he was like 'well if this is Barnaby I'll 'prank' him by telling him about butterfly sleep!' like yes amazing prank Frank (oh hey that rhymed)

next up is green which is Poppy !!

aww Poppy ur so cute even tho ur like british?!?!? (jk on the british thing) she's so nice and polite even tho she like dropped the telephone she's still so polite like 'oops sorry i have to go have a nice day though!' i love her

next up is blue-green (??) which is Howdy !!

"...Actually, I do have plenty of time in stock, it’s in aisle two next to the bananas. But …I call ‘em cuckoo clocks!" ok thats funny u got me Howdy i love that there's two jokesters in the cast (more fuel for my Barnaby x Howdy craziness)

next up is blue which is Barnaby !!

"I wouldn’t know, I wasn’t there! What do I look like, a BEE’s-dropper?" Barnaby and Howdy are both absolute clowns, their immediate reaction to silence is tell a joke also every audio i hear of Barnaby reminds me more and more of Sans from Undertale LAMOAOAO

next up is purple which is Eddie !!

"Whether letter or parcel, whether rain, snow, or shine, we weather the weather and never decline!" he has a jingle thats so cute "..I’m starting to think nobody’s there… Wait… I can’t remember if the phone was ringing… Maybe I was going to make a phone call... But who would I call?" Eddie is such a himbo is that just me (also he'd call Frank cough cough)

next up is red which is Wally !!

ok so its different from the other duet that comes from the secret link 'hard to hear you think' huh,,,,,, "I hope you saw a friend, but I’m not sure you saw a name... Stand still. Let’s start over." fascinating what does he mean by 'not sure you saw a name' also the 'stand still' thing is interesting because i think in one of the record audios he asks 'why are you still' or something

was going through the audios and oh hey theyres transcripts here too and a little hint that its morse code

HERE IT IS 'Will' fascinating fascinating

i love that there's transcripts for all the audio even the secret ones thats so cool

ok now onto the rest of the merchandise page LOL

LETTERSSS

also bug spotted !!

the open letters are all addressed to Wally, one from Frank about a bug and one from Howdy about paint its really cute

"It seems as though whoever enjoyed this playset had a grand time pretending to mail letters to their favorite Playfellow puppets!" or maybe,,, u just have real letters actually written BY the characters and ur just going thru their mail pretty sure thats illegal LOLOL

OOH !! SO COOL

i love the art

listened to the audio and holy fucking shit !!! THEYRE ALL SO CUTE DUDE I LOVE ALL OF THEM

FRANK: [Frank looks down at him, rotating his head a bit as if to shake it.] You always did work too hard.

EDDIE: Wha? Huh?

FRANK: I’m going inside. Enjoy the ground, Mr. Dear.

EDDIE: Alrighty! S-say, uh, before you go, any chance I could get a hand gettin’ up-- [door closing sound] oh, you’re gone. That’s fine! I’ll, uh, get to pickin’ myself up… before the cows come home, heh-heh.

that,,, sorry i just ship Frank and Eddie so hard LMFAOOAOAOAOO

"You always did work too hard." what does this mean Frank how would u know that unless u been watching him hmmm 🤨 heheheh

i would love to hear the rest of the audio where Eddie attempts to (or does actually) lift up Poppy, Howdy and Home because that would be SO funny

bug spotted

OMG WALLY PUPPET IN THE REFLECTION !!!!!!!

this is so fucking cool they made records i cant believe it

the audio is all fucked up but still !!! so cool !!

CEREAL !!!

honestly in-universe this must have been an INSANELY popular show if its got records, toys, storybooks and fucking cereal made for it like ??? and all of this is LOST media????? what the fuck happened!?!??!?!?

AND A COLORING BOOK !!! i would love to have one of these

and then the Valentines Day cards which are all so cute

i dont see any drawings so i guess theres no Wally audio for this page

also bug spotted on the transcript page so i will watch that along with the bug video from the merch page (also no drawings on transcript page)

ok so merch bug video is funny LOL

Eddie being afraid of being jumped on by Barnaby hadnt even considered that dynamic between them bc Barnaby's a dog and Eddie's a mailman LMAOAOAO this video didnt end with Wally being asked a question on what he thinks but technically it still counts because he'd probably respond with what he thinks (question mark idfk what im saying)

next video

its Frank and Julie and I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC SO CUTE GRAHHKDSKDJSJD

why are all these characters so cute stop it !!!! before i combust !!

now its time for the exhibition !!! so hyped !!

bug spotted but its hiding !! dont hide little fella !!

THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL,,, I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN AT THE ACTUAL EXHIBITION HOLY SHIT

this is just so cool im losing my fucking mind

WHAT THE FUCK I DIDNT KNOW U COULD DO THIS

now i have to go back and look through the other pictures but like this

ok nevermind i think its only the exhibition page thats like this which makes sense

"Unlike many of the other neighbors, we have yet to find a Wally Darling puppet design sheet." hmmm interesting

Wally is three feet ?!?!? he's so small ?!?!??!

"The previous owner of this playset seemed to be channeling their best Frank Frankly in this charming doodle of one of Welcome Home's smaller residents!" hahaha...... yes its all just play and totally not real actual letters made by the real actual characters heehoo

OH MY GOD THERE'S A VIDEO HELP THAT SCARED ME LMAOAO

i was just showing my brother the exhibition pictures like 'LOOK !! THEY MADE REAL LIFE THINGS FOR THIS SHIT !!' and i was just moving between the pictures then the sudden appearance of the video jumpscared me LMAOAOAO my bad

DUDEEE I WOULD HAVE ACED THIS TEST SO HARD I KNOW ITS INCREDIBLY EASY BUT MAN I WANT THAT PRIZE

was the special prize lore oh my god i need to know what it is

!!!! REEAL LIFE WALLY PUPPET AND A MINI HOME GRAHHHJKFWDJDS THIS IS SO COOL I WISH I COULD HAVE GONE TO THIS EXHIBIT

"If it was a calling that brought me here, well, then that phone is still a-ringing!" there's another reference to ringing lots of references to being called/calling and stuff for Welcome Home

so very interesting

also another doodle

also i was using the option + tab command on my mac to see all that was clickable and guess what !!

random clickable white space

WELL ALRIGHT THEN

so !! password thing

i clicked the image it leads to this

click it again and it leads to this

i will definitely go through that but first the bug video and Wally audio

Poppy and Sally !!! talking about cake !!

i really like the bug videos bc even tho it is a little creepy and weird, the dynamics and banter and talk with the characters are just so fucking cute

also Wally moved his hands in this video !!

mk so the Wally audio titled 'understand' is very interesting about Home i feel like this has to be before the Home morse code audio right?? or maybe after? its definitely close to the Home morse code audio for sure

so this,, very interesting indeed

the safe has buttons which corresponds to each neighbor

but you need to put in a password in this

so how the fuck do i answer this

ok so im gonna go with the page's suggestion of the worksheet being the key

OH MY FUCKING GOD WAIT HOLD ON I HAVE TO SPLIT THIS UP BC I REACHED THE PHOTO LIMIT

[juicywritinghoard]

Setting Prompts

A. Something about this place screams “probably not haunted but don’t stick around to find out”. 

B. Thank you for taking me to the aquarium for my birthday. I am gonna be a freak in the gift shop about it.

C. Nothing at this carnival is going to cheer me up so don’t even try. Except…

D. You cannot keep making secret agent music with your mouth if you don’t want to get us arrested. I can fill golf course holes with cement without you.

E. Admittedly this was a bad place for a picnic, but on the other hand, I’m having a great time and no regrets. 

F. Oh god, oh Jesus, what is that?? Oh, just a bunny. OH NO OH HELP WHAT IS THAT-

G. This real estate is giving mad Hansel and Gretel vibes rn and I will lick the walls if no one stops me?

H. Okay, while they do actual serious errands, our goal is to find a collection of objects under fifty dollars that will definitely, absolutely implicate us in a premeditated murder. And…break!

I. Nothing says “let’s get ice cream” like baseball sized hail. 

J. If you don’t want to get in trouble for playing hide and seek in the fancy department store, you gotta hide better, duh.

K. I’m sorry I spilled nacho cheese in the jewelry store. It might happen again.

L. I’m having a crisis in the craft store. Again.

M. No, I’m not going to sell you this fish. Please leave the store.

N. So it was just supposed to be a little funny ha-ha joke but we put [counts on fingers] like quadruple the appropriate amount of bubble bath in the fountain…

O. I refuse to have some kind of epiphany about this divine experience. I did not ask to be awake at dawn and I would not be awake at dawn if I had a choice about it.

P. So you know how you were like, no way is it possible to fill a pool with Jello? Well,

Q. No, sorry, I’ve been banned from the candy store. Yep. And the bookstore. Uhuh. I’m really sorry, I have also been banned from-

R. Call back later, I’m spending my life savings in the arcade. No, I promise I’m being so normal about it. This has nothing to do with my child enemy. No, no, I promise!

S. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little dumpster diving. Just be less stupid about it maybe?

T. I’m afraid of heights, is the problem? Which I was not aware of until I got up here. 

U. Oh man, I want to join their backyard barbeque so bad. Do you think I can pass for a cousin? Surely they don’t know all their cousins. Look at all the fun they’re having, oh man… 

V. I didn’t expect the world to end in the coffee shop, but here I am…

W. You keep asking why I’m wet and not how was the sea? Was the sea fun? Did you meet a mermaid and join a mermaid party and almost drown? No, I don’t want to talk about it now.

X. Admittedly my coworkers don’t suck, it’s just the job that’s cuckoo banana-nut-muffins bonkers insane. 

Y. Why do I feel like this place is so fancy, they’re gonna hand me a receipt for the air I breathed while I was here? 

Z. Hurry up and figure things out, before I get fired from a second morgue. Please?

[sluttypatrickstar]

i have suffered. i have received unspeakable brain trauma. i have read sentences that i simply cannot unread. that's right, it's time for my chaotic review of verity by colleen hoover!

now i wrote an actual, proper review of this book that used paragraphs and real grammar, but this is tumblr. you're getting the bullet points, you're getting the sweary words, you're getting the dissolution of my sanity.

there's a lot of graphic and disturbing content in this book, so if you're bothered by that kind of thing, it might be best not to read.

the plot:

so our narrator, lowen ashleiggghghghg, is hired by this guy jeremy crawford to finish his wife verity's thriller book series bcus verity was in a car accident and is now profoundly disabled (can't move, can't talk, needs regular care, etc.)

she needs verity's notes and somehow ends up living in verity's house so she can spend literally all day going through verity's office. the only believable part of this is that a writer could be so disorganised that you'd need full days to try and go through all of their stuff

for some context, jeremy is apparently brooding (though i see like, 0 evidence of this) over his wife's accident as well as the deaths of his twin daughters chastin and harper

in verity's office, lowen finds a manuscript that looks like it's verity's autobiography

verity's autobiography starts as overly detailed jeremy smut and oh my fucking god i mean overly detailed i wish i could GOUGE my fucking EYES out this is just BAD PORN this book is like 90% porn 10% no-plot

anyway as this autobiography goes on, lowen is like. holy shit. verity is cuckoo bananas. she is OBSESSED with jeremy. she does that patrick star thing of "what do you when i'm at work all day?" "wait for you to get back :(". she wants to be jezza's ONLY focus and resents her daughters for taking his focus away

like, she tries to plan out her pregnancy so that she'll gain as little weight as possible, but then she finds out they're twins and she's like omg im RUINED and tries to miscarry and abort them

after they're born, she has a premonition of her daughter harper killing her other daughter, chastin (the only daughter she likes, verity fucking hates her kids but randomly starts loving chastin). chastin does in fact die of anaphylactic shock when she's around 8 and verity blames harper

jeremy won't fuck verity because he's so sad about his daughter's death, and verity is not having this, but through some twisted logic she's like maybe he'll be all out of grief if another daughter dies! so she kills harper and stages it as a canoe accident

back to lowen, she's reading this autobiography at an absolute snail's pace (like 1 short chapter a day) while also living with Hot Dad Jeremy (she's into him, especially after reading all that Jeremy Porn), this is most of the book tbh . a series of weird things happen that convince her that verity is faking her disability

lowen is also 100% convinced that verity is PURE FUCKING EVIL from this autobiography

fast forward, jeremy and lowen hook up (surprised pikachu face)

and yes, verity was faking being disabled, where is her OSCAR for that METHOD ACTING that fooled the HOSPITAL the NURSES for MONTHS!!! she didnt even flinch when lowen tried to startle her by literally throwing something across the room. daniel day-lewis is SHAKING

lowen shows jeremy the autobiography and jeremy starts choking verity

lowen is like, stop! they'll know u did it! think of ur son, he'll be fatherless!

actually you should kill him by making her puke instead so they'll think she just aspirated on her own vomit ;)

so jeremy does that instead because that's totally the most sensible option to do in this particular scenario

7 month timeskip and all is great because EVIL verity is DEAD and now lowen and jeremy can be together forever and they even have a new baby on the way bcus jeremy came inside her no condom and apparently every woman in this book is insanely fertile and gets pregnant on the first try

TWIST TIME!!!

they go back to verity and jeremy's house to finish clearing out their stuff

but... lowen finds a note in verity's room...

verity claims that the autobiography was just a writing example to help her write from an antagonistic perspective (her thriller series is notably written from the villain's POV)

jeremy found the autobiography and tried to choke verity to death, but when that failed, he set up her car accident, after which verity decided she had to fake being disabled so she could run away with their living son crew and eventually explain everything

but this plan is an F bcus shes fuckin dead now isnt she

so much effort and for WHAT

the book leaves us with the fucking stupid dry ass cliché question of: WHICH WAS THE REAL VERITY? WHAT WERE THE LIES? WAS THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY REAL OR NOT? and actually i dont give a flying fuck i was just glad to be done

my thoughts

the characters in the book make the most ridiculous and nonsensical decisions and trust me i can say that for sure bcus i have never made a good decision in my life

in the opening chapters, lowen witnesses a car accident & is splattered with blood on the way to her publisher meeting

she encounters jeremy (tho she doesnt know who he is yet) and he takes her to the men's bathroom of a coffee shop to get cleaned up

lowen tAKES HER SHIRT OFF IN FRONT OF THIS ABSOLUTE STRANGER

i am trying to ignore this red flag maybe shes just confident

jeremy proceeds to lock the door to the men's bathroom so that no one else can come in, and lowen finds this comforting! how chivalrous of mr sexy man jeremy!

WHAT THE FUCK LOWEN? HOW IS THIS COMFORTING? I'D BE FUCKING. I'D BE PANICKING SO BAD I'D BE OUT THE DOOR

later in the book we find out that lowen has a chronic sleepwalking problem and can even open inside locks when she's sleepwalking

she broke her wrist sleepwalking when she was a kid so it's not really safe for her to be able to get out and about while sleepwalking

jeremy offers to install a lock on the outside of lowen's bedroom door, so that she can't leave her bedroom without him opening the outside lock for her

instead of finding this FUCKING TERRIFYING

she's Thrilled by his generosity! wow! isn;t jeremy so kind and thoughtful?

lowen! LOWEN!!! GIRL!!!!!!!!!

lucky for her jeremy is apparently a nice guy so jeremy's fucking weird actions are glossed over and theyre so nice arent they... haha...

dude i wanna know what the fuck jeremy has that women are literally OBSESSED with him. hes so bland. he has no personality. he's a cardboard cutout of a man but apparently he has good dick idk

lowen is so besotted with jeremy that she doesnt think it's bad that he tried to kill his wife twice and then succeeded on the third try

no! it's actually so sweet because it proves how much of a dedicated father he is! he thinks verity killed harper so by killing her he's just being such a good and protective dad haha! murder is okay

there was also just way too much sex in this book like i said it before but truly i cannot encapsulate how much of this book was sex. and in case u were wondering about the quality of the sex, 50 shades author EL james is in the acknowledgements of this book.

how are people giving this book 5 stars? it's fucking. it's laughably bad. the plot is so stupid. the characters are boring. no-one makes a single good decision. jeremy is white bread. it's like, really really bad. i really need to know if the straights giving this book 5 stars need help, therapy, or jesus. if u do, please blink SOS in morse code, i will come and get u.

everyone who has a superiority complex because they've never read a single CoHo book is correct . u guys are doing great

[youngjusticeslut]

Meta: Jade’s Fighting Style

Well, since our screeners have been delayed and to keep me from going cuckoo bananas, here’s another Jade meta analysis for y’all. (Look, I only get so many, let me have this.) 

As you may have noticed, over the past couple of episodes, Jade has changed. The careful, nimble, and deadly assassin we knew... isn’t so much anymore. She gets absolutely smoked by Sensei. Black Spider takes her down in a fight without breaking a sweat. Black Spider. Of all people! 

Now, if you’re like me, you may have been wondering: what the heck is going on? This isn’t the Cheshire that we know! She would never lose in a fight to Black Spider. Is she being written poorly? Has she just lost her touch? Who’s to say? Here are my thoughts: 

For the majority of her career in the Shadows, Jade has been fighting based on motivation. As we saw in “Artemis Through the Looking Glass”, she didn’t have an easy time after leaving home. She was determined to make it out of her abusive household, but she was essentially out on the streets, hungry. She couldn’t go back home and rely on Artemis all the time, hence, she probably had to make some tough decisions and join the Shadows, for survival. So she grows up, and she turns into Cheshire, the assassin. Not because she particularly wants to, persay, but because this is just about the only thing she’s good at and it’s the only thing keeping her alive. So essentially, Jade’s motivation is simply that: looking out for herself and staying alive. She puts on this sadistic, psychotic persona, but it isn’t who she is. In a Red Arrow journal, even Will notes that it’s simply a mask that she’s put on to keep people at bay. He knows there’s good in her, but what good will that do for her situation? Being good won’t keep her alive. 

Then, she’s 22/23, and suddenly, she’s betrayed the Shadows for a guy she’s fallen in love with. Her motivations change. Jade’s realized that just staying alive isn’t enough anymore. She’s gotten a taste of the other side, of freedom, and so she severs her ties with the Shadows and betrays them. Her motivations shift from simply staying alive, to helping Will. She spends the next year and a half with him, trying to find Roy. It’s not good enough. When she learns she’s pregnant, she leaves, and her motivation slightly alters to helping him for the sake of both himself and his daughter. Once that’s done, she relaxes. No need for Cheshire in the meantime. 

...Until she learns of Artemis’ death. Again, her motivations shift to the personal. She goes after Kaldur, and in an impressive display takes out not only him, but Black Manta and a number of troops as well. This is Cheshire at her best, absolutely crushing it in a fight where her motivations are on an all time high. Then, of course, it’s all revealed to be a ruse, and with Artemis alive, Jade puts Cheshire away once again. 

She takes a break again. Spends time with Will and Lian, trying to make it work. But there’s a contract on Jade’s head. Coupled with the unresolved trauma and emotional instabilities of her life, she decides that her family is better off without her presence and leaves. But leaving them, in essence, breaks her. Her heart isn’t in the game anymore, and her motivation to fight disappears because she doesn't want to do it anymore. She takes the shady jobs to survive and constantly lives with the realization that someone is out to get her, but it's not like she wants to be an assassin anymore. 

So, as a result, Jade is technically Cheshire again and back in the game, but only as a shell of herself. She gets shot in Triptych. She lets herself get smoked by Sensei and can't even properly keep up in a fight against Black Spider. She's not the same that she used to be. She even says it herself, to Will: she’s lost her touch. 

Essentially, Jade has given up. 

This has been a TED talk sponsored by the insane machinations of my feeble mind ☺️

[legendofzeldaalinktothepast]

Opalescent Tides - Chapter 1

“Amethyst wakes up on the shore of Beach City, and she couldn’t be more confused.” 

Fandom - Steven Universe 

Pairing - Pearl/Amethyst 

Rating - T 

Human/Mermaid AU. 

Next Chapter 

* 

Waves crashed against the shore, and seagulls cawed from up above. Though her eyes were closed, the glaring sun bore straight through Amethyst's eyelids. She stirred, gritting her teeth as the sand ground against her blistering skin. Finally, she forced her eyes open, letting out an audible gasp as the sunlight hit her eyes. 

As soon as Amethyst's eyes adjusted to the sun's blinding rays, she finally managed to look ahead. She was the surrounded by beach, the dark and endless ocean... and just behind her was an even darker and more ominous patch of trees. Not a single grain of sand around her was familiar. Amethyst heaved herself to her feet and looked herself over -- her dark brown skin was covered in blisters... She must have been laying in the sun for quite a while, she observed. Amethyst hissed through her teeth as she pulled a layer of skin off of her sunburnt arm. 'Gross.'

To make matters worse, Amethyst was thirsty. The kind of thirsty that made her head throb and her throat feel like she'd swallowed a mouthful of sand -- though, to be fair, that wasn't entirely out of the question. Regardless, Amethyst crouched in front of the water and cupped her hands in it, taking a reluctant sip.

'Ugh, of course it's saltwater! Dumbass.' she thought with a groan, immediately spitting it back out. 'Guess I gotta find some fruit... Or even running water. There's probably people somewhere, right?' It was unlikely she'd waken up on a deserted island -- she had no memory of a shipwreck, or being on a ship in the first place, or... Anything at all, really. Now that she thought of it, she couldn't remember anything.

'Alright, don't panic. It's probably not amnesia, I'm just... really fucking sore and thirsty. Maybe I'll feel better once I get some water.' Taking a deep breath, Amethyst made her way through the patch of trees up ahead.

From the outside, the woods had seemed endless; but after only a few moments of walking did she hear a loud crack, followed by the sound of fizzing. Amethyst tensed for a moment and gazed upward, but her fear eased once she saw a beautiful red firework shimmering in the evening sky. 'And where there's fireworks, there's gotta be people!' she thought, her heart racing. She quickened her pace and headed towards the source of the noise, grinning even harder as another firework echoed in the woods.

Her feet soon met pavement, giving her a short moment of relief before the concrete burned the soles of her bare feet. So she quickened her pace until she reached a patch of cool grass.

Amethyst looked around at the quaint little town around her. The road was lined with various vendors; some were selling meats and vegetables deep fried beyond recognition, while others were advertising toys, games where one could pop balloons with darts, people selling fish in plastic bags... The latter of which made Amethyst shudder.

"Lemonade! Only twenty-five cents!" a tiny voice drew Amethyst's attention. She locked eyes with a small, curly-haired boy sitting behind a chipped wooden table. His cheeks were bright red from the sun, and he wore a pinkish-red tank top with a yellow star on it. On the table before him, there was a plastic pitcher filled with lemonade (the ice had already melted, but Amethyst sure didn't care), tiny paper cups, and a jar filled with quarters. "Get your freshly squeezed lemonaaaade!"

As Amethyst approached lemonade stand, she fumbled through her pockets in search of change, but they were filled with nothing but seaweed and grains of sand. Ugh, really? I don't have anything?' she thought. In all honesty, she was struggling to remember what twenty five cents even looked like. Trying to remember anything other than her name made her head ache... So she shook it off. Now wasn't the time for that; dehydration was getting to her, and if she didn't get something soon, she'd only descend even further into insanity.

"Hey, kiddo!" Amethyst greeted, shoving her hands into her pockets as she approached the boy.

"Hey, Miss!" the boy greeted. "Do you want some lemonade? I made it all by myself! Well, mostly -- my dad cut up the lemons because he doesn't trust me with knives, and he also helped me squeeze them because I wasn't strong enough... But it's delicious, I promise! And only twenty-five cents! My name's Steven, by the way!"

"Oh, that's awesome!" Amethyst licked her lips, her eyes locked on the pitcher. "Here's the thing, though... I don't really have any money. At least not right now, but uh -- I'm absolutely dying of thirst, so do you think I could -- "

"Say no more!" Steven said, thrusting a tiny paper of cup of lemonade Amethyst's way. "Don't worry 'bout the quarter. It's on me."

Amethyst smiled weakly. "Thanks, buddy. Next time I get my hands on a 'quarter', I'll be sure to pay ya back." She reached for the cup and downed it immediately -- it tasted purely of sugar, with maybe a hint of lemon, but to a woman on the brink of dehydration it might as well have been liquid gold.

"No problem! And really, it's no big deal if you don't pay me back!" Steven said. "Hey, you gotta place to stay? Not to be rude, but you look like you've been sleeping on the beach."

Amethyst blushed; with her soaking wet hair, sunburnt skin, and sand-covered tank top and shorts, it wasn't hard to guess, but she still felt self conscious nonetheless. Even after the cup of lemonade, she was still too dehydrated to think... She could barely even remember where her actual home was. But she wouldn't dare admit that; no, she'd find her way back home soon enough, and if not, she'd spend the night at a hotel until she was well again. "Mm... I'm just passing through." she said with a shrug.

"Ohh, I see!" Steven said, though he didn't look fully convinced. "Well, here's another glass of lemonade for the road! On me." he added with a wink. Amethyst smiled gratefully and ruffled his hair. "Thanks again, little dude." As she turned and headed off, she took another sip of the lemonade and continued on her way.

As she walked, she glanced around in search of something, anything that looked familiar. 'Do I... live in this town? Maybe I passed out drunk on the beach... But I've never heard of hangovers causing legit amnesia.' she thought, scanning all the little houses. None of them rang a bell.

She glanced back towards the direction of the beach, her stomach turning. 'If I'm not from here, then... Maybe I washed up in some kind of shipwreck? But from where? Ah, but there wasn't a boat anywhere, so maybe not... Or maybe someone mugged me and whacked me over the head...' she thought, tapping her head as if it'd shake a screw loose and jolt her memories back into place. Everything was so foggy... And the fact that it was getting dark wasn't helping. With each shade the sky grew darker, a feeling of unease grew within her gut... She could see some of the vendors starting to close up, which only sent her anxiety even further into the sky. The only thing scarier than being lost was being lost and alone, especially at night.

Amethyst seated herself on a nearby bench, drinking the last few drops of lemonade in her cup. She tossed it into the nearby trash can and rested her chin in her hands. She watched as a family of five walked by, the littlest of the three children holding onto the mother's hand. 'Do I have even a mother...?' she thought, gazing down at the pavement. 'Or a family? Anything? Ugh, what the fuck is even going on?'

She hated just sitting there; part of her knew that she needed to keep walking, looking for a hotel so she could rest her head, or even psychological help... But her body didn't want to move. She felt like she'd been hit by a train; maybe she was beaten and mugged after all. Nevertheless, for the time being, Amethyst leaned her head back against the bench and watched the seagulls as they swarmed above.

* 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

With her chin in her hands, Pearl gazed at the worn down cuckoo clock. It had been gathering dust in the corner of the store for months, now; an antique worth a few hundred dollars, and it drew quite a bit of attention for Beach City patrons, but none of them had the guts to actually purchase it... And after weeks of living with it, getting startled by that obnoxious bird every damned hour, Pearl was starting to understand why.

On cue, the clock struck nine and the bird popped out of its little hole. It cuckoo-ed loudly -- nine times to be precise -- before retreating back to the safety of its little wooden birdhouse.

"Thank goodness." Pearl let out a sigh of relief. After the longest 8 hour shift of her life, she was finally able to close up. Before any customers could come in for some last minute shopping, she sprinted over to the door and tugged it shut, turning both of the locks and flipping the open sign around.

Stairs creaked from above, and Pearl turned to smile as Garnet approached. "Hey there! I was just closing up." she greeted.

Once Garnet reached the bottom of the stairs, Pearl saw that she was holding two milkshakes; one strawberry, the other banana. "Here you go." she said, handing the pink one over to Pearl.

Pearl beamed with joy. "Oh my goodness, Garnet -- that's too kind of you! Thank you so much, ah..." she said, immediately taking a sip.

"It's the least I could do. I still feel terrible that you had to work alone on such a miserably hot day..." Garnet sighed, leaning against the counter.

"No, no, don't you dare let yourself feel bad about this." Pearl reassured, resting a hand on Garnet's shoulder. "I'm the one that told you to get some rest. Working in this heat is already hellish enough -- I couldn't imagine doing it when you're dealing with those unbearable cramps."

"Still... You'd think I'd be used to it, getting it once a month and all." Garnet blushed, taking a sip of her milkshake.

"While that is true, sometimes mother nature decides to be a little extra cruel. She likes to keep us on our toes." Pearl smiled, giving her shoulder a comforting pat. "Since our sales were pitiful today, counting the drawer and cleaning the store should be a breeze... And after that, I was thinking of going out for a swim... Would you like to hang out by the pool, perhaps dip your feet in?"

"Not sure... I was planning to go up and lie in front of the fan, if I'm being honest. But if I start to feel a little better, I'll head over."

"Alright." Pearl smiled sympathetically. "Feel free to use my rice sock! And help yourself to my chocolate stash as well."

"Already have." Garnet smirked. She turned and made her way up the stairs.

Once she was gone, Pearl reached for a feather duster and quickly wiped down all of the little nick-nacks that lined their shelves. Then, she unlocked the cash register and pulled out the drawer.

"Twenty five dollars and thirty cents..." Pearl sighed once she'd finished counting. "Another week of ramen noodles, I suppose. Perhaps some rice and beans if we're feeling fancy." Shaking off her frustration, she locked the money up in the safe and made her way up the stairs. 'It'll be alright. Everyone has shitty days... Especially when they're first starting out. And besides, tourist season has just begun! Perhaps we'll need to advertise more...'

* 

Pearl slipped out of her sweaty work clothes and into her modest one-piece bathing suit. She grabbed a towel from the bathroom cabinet and headed back down the stairs, slipping out the back door. "See you later, Garnet!" she called, letting the door fall shut.

She hurried across the street towards the Universe household; an eccentric family of three, and regular shoppers at the antique store, they'd once told Pearl she was free to swim in her pool whenever she pleased... And she certainly wasn't turning down an opportunity like that.

Once she reached the house, she rapped on the front door. As she heard footsteps, she smoothed out her hair -- after all, there was a one-in-three chance she'd be greeted by the beautiful head-of-household known as Rose, and while she certainly had no intentions of being a homewrecker, she wanted to look presentable around her nonetheless.

"Good evening, Pearl!" Rose greeted, and Pearl's heart fluttered in her chest.

"Good evening to you as well!" Pearl grinned. "I had a long day at work, and thought I'd stop over for a swim -- if that's still alright with you, of course!"

"It's more than alright." Rose winked. "Come on in! Unfortunately, Steven's already headed off to bed, and Greg's watching a movie upstairs... As for me, Aunt Flo is currently visiting, so I can't join either -- otherwise I'd gladly swim with you."

"Oh, that's not a problem at all." Pearl said, admittedly a little disappointed; mother nature was particularly cruel today, it seemed. "I just wanted to cool myself off, anyway! It won't be a very long swim."

Rose smiled warmly. "Alright. Next time, though! Steven's been wanting to have a pool party... perhaps this weekend?" She shrugged. "Anyway, feel free to help yourself if you need anything to drink, or if you get hungry... I'll be in the living room. Gotta catch up on some reading, now that I've got some peace and quiet."

"Thank you! I think I'll be fine, though." Pearl nodded gratefully. As Rose headed back towards the living room, Pearl continued to make her way through the house and towards the back door.

* 

Before she knew it, the sun had set; the once beautiful sunset had turned pitch black, and stars appeared one-by-one. Amethyst had half-dozed on the bench for God knows how long; and in all honesty, her body was still sore -- if anything, even more so than before. As much as she didn’t want to get up, she knew she had to find shelter soon...

'Guess I should look for somewhere to sleep.' Amethyst thought. As she pulled herself up to her feet, every muscle in her legs ached in protest. 'Fuck's sake...' she thought with a grumble.

Amethyst began to head down the road, searching for anything that resembled a hotel... She gazed with envy at the houses and apartments that surrounded her, with lit-up bedrooms and people chatting loud enough to be heard through the window screens. Amethyst came to a sudden halt as she heard a familiar voice -- the voice of the boy who'd given her the lemonade earlier, to be exact.

"Ooh, mommy, look at the moon!" he shouted, pointing out the window. "It's a full moon! Do you think there's gonna be any werewolves?"

His question was followed by the sound of an older man chuckling. Amethyst's heart sank; for a reason she couldn't quite parse, she wanted Steven to notice her standing right in front of his house... Maybe if he did, he'd have some more pity on her and let her spend the night inside.

But the boy didn't notice; he turned back around and away from the window, saying something else that Amethyst couldn't quite make out, now.

Clenching her fists, Amethyst eyed the front door. 'Maybe I should just... Straight up ask. Worst case scenario, they tell me to fuck off. I think I can handle that.' Taking a deep breath, she took a step towards the house -- only to fall right on her face.

"Fuck!" she hissed through gritted teeth, gripping her knees. As she tried to right herself, however, her legs refused to obey. 'What the...?' She ran her fingers across her calves, noticing her leg hairs slowly disappearing; purple, opalescent scales began to take their place.

"What was that?" a voice called from inside the house. She no longer wanted to be seen -- not while this was happening. Amethyst dragged herself behind the bushes just before the front door opened. Silence filled the air for a moment, before a deep voice announced, "I don't see anything." and the door shut once more.

Amethyst would have let out a sigh of relief if her legs currently didn't feel like they were on fire -- if they could even be considered legs anymore. At this point, they had begun to fuse together, forming a shimmering fish tail. And to top it all off, her unquenchable thirst had returned.

'The beach... I need to go back to the beach.' Amethyst thought. Her arms trembling, she began to struggle through the grass, though she couldn't quite remember which direction the beach even was... But before she could feel completely hopeless, something on the other side of the picket fence caught her eye -- a massive pool of water. She could faintly smell chlorine, but that didn't matter -- water was water, and if she didn't get to it soon... She feared what would happen.

She spotted a small hole beneath the fence; probably dug up by a groundhog or other woodland creature. Amethyst dug her claws into the hole that'd already been started -- taking a short moment to gawk at the fact that her fingers were webbed, now -- raking out clumps and clumps of dirt until the gap was just big enough for her chubby body to squeeze through.

The pool was finally within reach. Amethyst dragged her body across the remaining grass and leapt in with a splash, and almost instantaneously did her pain begin to wash away. She drew in a long, deep breath, allowing the water to enter the gills that opened up on her neck. No longer did her throat crave water, or did her muscles ache; like magic, she was healed.

Amethyst was confused -- far more than she ever thought possible -- and yet... she was calm. Her eyes fell shut, and she slowly drifted down to the very bottom of the pool, sprawling herself out on the floor. 

* 

Pearl made her way through the back yard, her flip-flops squeaking beneath her feet with every step. Placing her neon beach towel on the lawn chair and setting her shoes aside, she approached the pool and dipped a toe in to test the temperature.

"Eep!" Pearl immediately jerked her foot away. 'Goodness, that's cold...' Bracing herself, Pearl climbed down from the ladder and submerged her entire body in the water.

"Ah... there we go." She let out a sigh of relief once she adjusted, gazing up at the night sky. The full moon illuminated the surface of the pool. Crickets sang from the nearby bushes and trees, and fireflies glowed on the other side of the yard. The row of moonflowers framing Rose's garden had bloomed for the night. ’I wish I could stay here forever…’ she thought, smiling warmly.

Pearl’s peaceful mood was soon interrupted, however, by the mosquitoes buzzing near her exposed skin. "Shoo!" she hissed, splashing water at the swarming pests. When that proved ineffective, she sank down into the pool until the water met her nose.

But as her feet met the floor, her toes brushed something... Soft. Slippery, too. Pearl turned her gaze downward, expecting it to be one of Steven's many pool toys -- only to see a fin covered in shimmering, opalescent scales... And attached to that fin was the torso of a beautiful, lavender haired woman.

[hermywolf]

i just read with understanding for the first time and i literally feel so??????????? you know? so i searched for it in here to see if people were still talking about it and i saw your blog im sorry but how do you get over that fic???? what do i do with my life now? how can i go on oh god help

ooooh boy. i am SO sorry for the mental damage this fic must have inflicted on you

it really gets at your brain and just. eats it raw doesnt it. its absolutely insane like holy fuck

okay so! you do NOT get over it. i tried, its impossible. it fades a bit with time but then i just get random fits of insanity in which i remember vividly what happened in this fic and i HAVE to reread it. i think i read it six times by now? during most of my rereads i skipped a big chunk of the first part though because its so. like. its oddly suffocating. the entire part of cas in the bunker is suffocating you have to be in the right mindspace to be able to read it without it once again attacking your brain savagely. at least thats the case for me

its just such an insane fic its SO good and the writing is just>> but by GOD does it make you insane cuckoo bananas

i feel you anon i really do. i have a wu tag (you can find it here) but if there's anything you wanna talk or rant about when it comes to this fic, whether it be a specific plotpoint or the thing in general, you can send me an ask or dm me anytime bc im ALWAYS ready to talk about the sheer concentrated insanity that is this fic and the way it rewrote my brain chemistry

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

2×11

okay last episode of the front half of the season, so this should wrap up the ambitiously titled "rise of villains" arc. after that is "wrath of the villains" which at this point could truly mean fucking anything.

I'd like to apologize for my earlier statement, there are actually three types of Black characters on Gotham: scary, dead, and Lucius Fox

POV you are Jimothy Gordon, you just got your ass saved by your least favorite boyfriend (Oswald) and wake up to discover that he now lives with (???) your least favorite coworker (Ed) and they are ??? playing piano and singing together in an apartment where there is quite visibly only one bed

911 has my least favorite boyfriend replaced me???

personally if I were Theo Galavan I would simply not take pathetic shit idiot baby glee in threatening a 12 year old little boy. like I know you have to kill him to finish your schemes but you don't have to enjoy it. stop gloating at a child get a hobby. ooh do you feel like a big boy for showing up the orphan toddler? woo good job you evil genius you. so scawy.

anyway this is a great episode for the anti-Alfred contingency he's been stabbed twice hunted for sport buried in trash and tased. get his ass.

Gotham!Riddler rapidly overtaking The Batman!Riddler for my least favorite Riddler. get your life together.

Bruce casually naming owls as his favorite animal as opposed to the extremely obvious choice is so funny good for him

sorry thinking about the single bed in the Pengriddler apartment again.

Oswald's look of absolute exasperation upon Lee's pregnancy announcement speaks for us all I think. anyway had no idea that was going to happen but I believe the timing lines up with Ben McKenzie and Morena Baccarin's actual first real life pregnancy. insane that Gotham is DIRECTLY responsible for ending one marriage (Baccarin's first lmao) and at least two human lives (her children with McKenzie). like that's crazy we can all agree that is cuckoo bananas, no?

anyway it would be infinitely funnier if Lee was lying just to get Gordon to shut the fuck up and leave the city

insane that all Ed does anymore is lurk around the GCPD eavesdropping on anyone who talks about Jim so he can chuckle knowingly. you used to be the only bitch in this whole building who actually did your job and now? now look at you. pathetic.

anyway if Lee actually is pregnant is this. which baby is this? is that little James Jr.? is that the baby future serial killer? or are we cutting straight to Barbara? or??

tbh the age difference between Bruce and Barbara would already be larger than I generally love for a coherent Batfam timeline but the writers of Gotham were evidently NOT thinking about the future of this world or my feelings

Lucius Fox is having just. the weirdest fucking day of his life right now. a 13 year old girl just clambered in the window and was given a bulletproof vest and a gun. by a cop. with no objections except from a rancid middle aged butler whose beef with her is personal. Lucius I have awful news but it's only going to get worse

Bruce is just. Bruce is a good kid. crying about him trying to save Silver even though it objectively benefits him not at all.

the visuals of local waif Selina Kyle confidently rocking up to a gunfight with a dozen adult men is so fucking funny good for her. girlboss. they literally sent her in as their advance scout I'm

all of you are getting charged with child endangerment!!!

if there's one thing Bruce Wayne is going to do at any age it's compel a morally dubious woman to risk it all for him with nothing but his autistic swagger

Silver St. Cloud would also have been a great candidate for Barbara Kean's Home for Wayward Young Supervillainesses I'm just SAYING

listen. we've got the thief (Selina), the firepower (Bridget), the swindler (Silver), and the spooky plant girl (Ivy). what a girl gang. gonna start recapping episodes as if Barbara's School for Wayward Young Supervillainesses is just a thing that's happening canonically. she just took them all out for ice cream :3

cannot emphasize enough how much I love when little Bruce is a sassy despite having absolutely no right to be. "I had a perfectly feasible escape plan" baby boy you were tied up and surrounded by evil Catholics who wanted to gut you

was gonna say I think Oswald and Jimblrs are officially over but Jim is currently watching Oswald beat a man to death with a baseball bat and that is regrettably at least second base for Oswald.

still hot and bothered from that Jim immediately decides to propose to Lee

MR FREEZE ???

guys I'm so SO sorry to do this but it was a bad brain day and I need to celebrate getting through it by pointing and laughing at bitches who are even less hinged than me.

it's Gotham time.

[stormyoceans]

WHAT IF I GO RABID. WHAT IF I GO UNHINGED. JUST ABSOLUTELY CUCKOO BANANAS INSANE. WHAT IF I GO ISABELLE ADJANI IN THE TUNNEL SCENE OF POSSESSION. WHAT IF