#i feel like the most shitty pathetic teenager

[somejerkguy]

hoooooly fuck dude.

tag vent

[star-dust-shark]

She blocked me

But just so you all know (I'm sending this to everyone she interacts with most

@nobody-important-fuck-life Is actually ugly has a shit personality and is fat

Wanted send this to your boyfriend too but they don’t have anon

Please relay the message

Okay here we go

You are the most horrible person I have ever even interacted with. I don’t hope death on people, ever, but I, respectfully, hate you and hope you die!

He is a he. I don’t fucking care how you feel about this, you disgusting shit, but hey, look! I’m transgender? My boyfriend is also transgender ( tysm for not misgendering him <3 ) and we’re literally jusy living you absolute cunt. leave us the fuck alone. What did we ever do to you? Like you’re really going to harass and bully people who are just living their fucking lives? You’re the pathetic fuck who deserves to die, clearly you have nothing better to do with your fucking worthless shitty life than bully fucking teenagers. Nobody fucking likes you.

I think, and I know he’ll argue, but I think that he’s gorgeous. And I know that you are ugly as fuck you absolute cuck because it’s how people are that counts, too. You could be a fucking model and I’d still think you’re a fucking cunt who deserves eternal pain.

plus you fucking asshole there’s nothing wrong with being plus sized, all bodies are fucking beautiful. I hope you choke on shit

[supernaturallyginger]

One Piece Live Action Review

Now that I've had time to watch and digest all the episodes it's time to discuss how I feel about the adaptation. This break down will be full of spoilers, so read at your own risk.

One Piece Live Action is good, actually.

Live action anime adaptations have a tendency to be soulless cash grabs that either don't give a shit about the source material or bank too much on just showing things the fans recognizes in place of an actual story.

OPLA loves the source material. It is clear that this production is a celebration of the manga series. The easter eggs and small nods to the series are not just there to make you point at the screen and say "There's the Thing!" They are apart of the world. Taking a note from Oda's writing to make the world of OPLA fill just as rich as the manga.

However, it is not a one for one recreation of the East Blue saga. How could it be? It would be impossible to take ~100 chapters of story and cram it into an 8 hour tv show season without it being a powerpoint of Luffy's Greatest Hits.

The story had to be changed to fit the medium and the pacing. Overall, I think the pacing is good and the changes made are for the better. But it's not perfect.

Episode 1 (aka mostly Zoro's intro):

Of the entire season, this was the weakest episode in my opinion. It had the most to introduce which is quite a challenge and it does so fairly well, but there are changes made here that I'm just not a fan of and I believe make the story weaker.

Zoro's introduction being changed to his face off with Mr. 7 is fine. It shows us him praying for Kuina, him being sassy to a bad guy, and ultimately him killing Mr. 7. Awesome start!

Unfortunately, we suffer when we cut to Zoro at Shells Town. He's only tied and imprisoned for a day, if that. And that's not even where Luffy first sees him. Instead, Luffy first sees Zoro at a bar starting a fight. Taking away the impact of him seeing Zoro's strong will after being tied up for days.

And it gets worse... Luffy just let's Zoro out, no strings attached and Zoro fetches his own swords. It takes away from the charm of the original scene where Luffy (a little bastard) blackmails Zoro into joining his crew to get his swords back. This change takes away two things: a showcase that Luffy is willing to be a stubborn shit to get what he wants and Zoro's willingness to give up his resolve because Luffy kept his word and brought him his swords.

While we're here, time for a Zoro tangent;

I'm really not a fan of how the character was adapted. This is not Zoro, this is some smug, emotionless samurai. All the beats were there. There were references to him being lost and a few jokey moments, but they are all delivered in the same monotone. Rarely is this Zoro shown to emote. Nor does he ever get to be goofy because YES! Roronoa Zoro can goofy. He's just a teenager in the East Blue saga, and yet OPLA plays him like he's alcoholic Batman.

Episode 2:

Oooh boy, give it up for episode 2! And Buggy, my little meow meow Buggy! I love him <3

As for the episode, the change from having Buggy being some shitty pirate just camped nearby and annoying the village to being a pirate who enslaved the village into being his audience was excellent! It's so fucked up and campy and even more fucked up.

Buggy's desires are for attention and fame. He wants what Shanks has and yet he's still stuck in the East Blue, desperate for a map that he can't get his own greedy hands on.

Buggy was such a stand out character in OPLA. I love Buggy in general and this version is a bit different than the pathetic Buggy we love from the manga, but he is like a evil cartoon villain chewing the scenery! I'm so glad they roped him into the plot to keep him throughout the season.

Episodes 3 & 4:

These are fine. Some people aren't fans of the changes and yeah, I agree taking away a lot of Usopp's agency sucks. It really doesn't feel like this is Usopp's arc, more like that he's just some guy who happens to be there.

But I was never a huge fan of the Syrup Village arc. I felt like it was poorly paced in the anime and the changes made at least kept the story condensed and Kuro's plan seemed more well thought out.

Biggest highlight of these episodes was Usopp! Jacob Romero does an amazing job at bringing the character to screen. He has so much charisma that it's hard not to smile when he's in a scene.

Episodes 5 & 6:

Anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE the Baratie arc! And this adaptation... is fine. Much like how Usopp is an after thought in his arc, Sanji is sidelined here to make room for PLOT.

Changing the Big Bad who threatens Baratie from Don Krieg to Arlong is a great choice. Don Krieg was always a lame, forgettable villain, so having Arlong show up to help push the plot towards the next arc is smart.

Much like Zoro's introduction, I'm not happy with Sanji's either. Specifically with how he meet Luffy. The scene where Sanji is the crew's waiter and has to fight some rowdy pirates is charming. But then Luffy say, "He's a great fighter." and UGGGHHHHHH

Luffy does NOT recruit Sanji for his strength. Nor does he recruit him for his cooking abilities. He recruits him because he is KIND. This is the same gripe I have with the Zoro intro. Luffy sees Zoro fight before recruiting him. When really he's supposed to want Zoro after seeing him tied up and learning that Zoro was captured because he saved a little girl from Helmeppo's dog. While Zoro and Sanji are the two strongest fighters on Luffy's crew, he never recruited them because they could fight.

ANYWAY

Luffy does see Sanji's kindness, only after seeing him fight and trying his food, and the two actors have great chemistry on screen. It's easy to believe that they are becoming fast friends and you can see in Taz Skylar's acting how much Sanji admires Luffy right off the bat. It's cute!

Unfortunately while Sanji is sidelined in his own arc, so two are the reveal of his backstory and the famous All Blue dream talk. His backstory is revealed in a random trauma dump to the crew which is only used to further the Zoro losing to Mihawk story. And the All Blue talk is just dropped randomly and has nothing to do with Sanji learning to pursue his own dreams. That's just done with a short shouting match between him and Zeff. Whatever.

Episodes 7 & 8:

Arlong Park was a good place to end the season. And the adaption of the arc is once again fine. Nami's backstory is rushed and the change to having no one in the town knowing her true intentions is a weird one.

BUT! Something I hadn't mentioned before, the sets are really fun! Arlong Park is a good example of this because it takes the design from the manga/anime and adds its own twist. The twist? Making Arlong Park look like a fairway at an amusement park. Which is a fun (horribly depressing) nod to something fans of the series can pick up on.

Other notable sets are Buggy's circus tent, Kaya's Tim Burton themed mansion, and the Baratie. God the Baratie is an amazing set! The detail of the lighthouse on top is *chefs kiss*

Something else I didn't mention before, is that there is a B plot throughout all 8 episodes following Garp in pursuit of Luffy while training Koby and Helmeppo. It's loosely based on a cover story the manga ran early on and it's fine.

The characterization of Garp is a little odd, as he seems more strict and book smart than his manga counterpart. (I cheered when we saw him finally throw some canon balls!!) But it all lead up to a moment of him meeting Zeff. Two men of the older generation. A former pirate and a marine sitting down over a glass of wine and steaks. And they discuss having to accept the changing world when really the conversation is about accepting their boys moving on follow their dreams. It's a simple scene, but it's one of my favorites.

NOW the Arlong Park battle is good, if not a little short because they have to make time for the Garp stuff. There is one line in particular that really bothers me. There is a moment where Luffy agrees with Arlong and says something like, "Maybe I can't defeat you." and... that's not Luffy.

Arlong Park has one of Luffy's most iconic moments. A moment that defines his character and the entire series.

And I think that's how I feel about the OPLA as a whole.

It's good, but it's not One Piece. Well- it's not the One Piece we already know.

This Luffy is different. OPLA Luffy has a moral compass. He has snappy lines and has maybe even read a book in his life time. He's not the same Luffy from the manga, and that's okay. Inaki Godoy is a joy to watch on screen and his version of Luffy is just as wonderful in his own way.

One Piece Live Action is witty and very charming. Filled with great action scenes, lively sets & costumes, and actors who are giving it their all in every scene.

Despite some changes I disagree with, this was an amazing adaption that is a celebration of the fans and an introduction to the wacky world of One Piece to new viewers.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 2

Propaganda why Anakin Skywalker is insufferable:

It's less about his character and more about the way ppl talk about him and narrative around him in a lot of current stuff. The way everyone try to bend over backwards to prove how his reasons to turn Darth Vader were somehow noble or good when almost every single bad guy in Star Wars (expect Palpatine and that guy who taught him) have much more sympathetic history and reasons and how he's not a bad person bc he cried a few times while doing atrocities. And how everyone else gets the blame for all his shortcomings ('they did it but never taught him!!!' -he literally parrotos this same lessons to his own student, it's obvious he knows better but chooses to not apply to himself anything that is slightly uncomfortable to him). Like, I love characters being genuinely not good people as much as a next guy but let's not pretend they're good people actually

the guy has zero critical thinking skills, he whines about everything all the time. I love him, but he’s awful to listen to. THIS BITCH. I HATE HIM. NO CRITICAL THINKING. NO SELF AWARENESS. WHINY MURDEROUS ASSHOLE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. He's a JEDI. LIKE. THEY HAVE HISTORY CLASSES!!!! He should have KNOWNNNNNN that when he had prophetic dreams they're not necessarily true!!!!! Also like. In the Star Wars universe, do Jedi just not have imaginations that can create NORMAL dreams when they sleep??? Do Jedi just not usually dream??? If he hadn't gotten paranoid from the dreams of Padme dying in childbirth

BILLIONS OF LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN SAVED. FOR THAT MATTER, if you're gonna have A SUPER ILLEGAL SUPER SECRET MARRIAGE, wouldn't you, I don't know, USE PROTECTION SO THAT YOUR WIFE WHO IS SECRETLY AND ILLEGALLY MARRIED DOESN'T GET PREGANANANT????? LIKE LOOK I LOVE LUKE AND LEIA MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF BUT THEIR PARENTS WERE SO FUCKING STUPID. ANAKIN SKYWALKER HATES CONDOMS BECAUSE THEY DONT FEEL AS GOOD I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. Man is an IDIOT. How can you have had a role model and father figure like Obi-Wan for most of your fucking life and grow up to do the shitty, STUPID things Anakin did. Ok this is way too long I'm sorry but I love Obi-Wan so much and Anakin ruined his fucking life and hes just such a little DICK. MURDERED A WHOLE VILLAGE OF SAND PEOPLE. AND DOZENS IF NOT HUNDREDS OF CHILDRENNNNNNNN. ANGSTY WHINY TEENAGER. FUCK HIMMMMMMM

Yes he was probably directed to act that way but the way his lines were written did not help

Propaganda why Kazuya Kinoshita is insufferable:

Pathetic loser who never grows as a character and drags down the lives of the girls around him because he’s so selfish

Bland boring loser gets a whole bunch of cute girls to actually fall in love with him by being an absolute pissant go away challenge

After his girlfriend dumps him, Kazuya hires a rent-a-girlfriend (basically a sex worker without the actual sex) to accompany him on a date. They have a great time together and go their separate ways. Afterwards when he goes to leave a review, he sees all the other good reviews and gets jealous because she's being hired by other men, and leaves a one-star review out of spite. This is his starting point and he barely gets better, constantly making his personal issues other people's problem.

[transpersian]

That anon is unbelievable. 💀 Like yeah, people can do/say/wear whatever they want in their own homes, but it's also common fucking knowledge that you alter your habits a bit when having guests over so that they're comfortable. This might differ some between households, but there are common boundaries that most people expect to have respected when they're a guest in someone's home - such as not seeing their host in the nude (or partially nude) with no warning or consent.

That's just basic fucking decency that Poppy apparently lacks. It sounds like she didn't even provide a heads up that this was something her guest should expect during this visit. A 42y/o with a background in social sciences should not need to have normal human behavior explained to her. At best, she's a shitty host who bullies her 18y/o guests for being asexuality after daring to express a minutae of discomfort.

Even if we remove her victim's age and orientation from the equation, it isn't much better. I'm pretty sure the vast majority of people, when accidentally seeing a platonic friend in a state of undress, are going to feel awkward and instinctually look away. It isn't just out of personal discomfort, but out of respect for the other person's privacy and dignity as well! Not that Poppy would understand caring about that.

I can believe that first encounter was an accident. But Poppy's immediate response to her guest having a completly normal fucking reaction to this scenario being to get offended and then mock its sexuality is so incredibly telling. It's clear that the second time was intentional as hell, for no other reason than to be petty and provoke more discomfort as punishment for Poppy having her ego shattered by an 18y/o that didn't want to see her topless. Pathetic.

Disclaimer: I'm all for destigmatizing breasts being uncovered in a nonsexual manner. But - just like cis male chests - there will always be contexts where they are presented sexually. "Free the nipple" doesn't suddenly mean it's you're no longer capable of inappropriately exposing your breasts to someone. Intent and context are key. A cis man walking around in nothing but his underwear while an unsuspecting guest is in his home has the same potential of being inappropriate/uncomfortable, regardless of breasts being involved or not.

Ah, a sensible anon! Thank you for writing, anon.

This is another one of those asks that I don't really feel a need to respond to most of; it's just a solid articulation of how obviously horrific and callous this behavior is to any decent human being with a proper grasp of boundaries, compassion, and consideration for others.

But it also highlights something that I think is glossed over a lot: while the problem is always relevant, what's truly telling is how people react to being told they've hurt someone.

Do they show concern and want to understand how their actions affected the other party? Or do they get defensive, going so far as to, perhaps, dismiss the person's concerns entirely?

Or even better, let's set aside the nudity, the location, the terminology used, etc for a second and ask this:

Why are so few people talking about Poppy's attitude towards Dormiyu's "weird asexual shit" and how flagrantly acephobic it is?

What mental gymnastics are we pulling to make that okay, along with how her and Zena laughed about it together? In front of Dormiyu?

But yes. Behold, my "massive hate campaign" is now being used to... checks notes Boost and defend a teenager who's accusing a 42yo of sexual impropriety and bigotry, while her fans are bulldozing in here with superstar arguments like "technically the dictionary says that isn't flashing" and "if you're in my house, I'm allowed to be nude around you, it's my house."

And these are the same people telling me that I look insane and ridiculous?

Yeah, they hold no power here. We'll see how it all washes out in the end.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A lot to talk about today: there are replies about some of our previous posts, Leech parents, headcanons, antis, random stuff, and in general we are all over the place today.

Starting with the most important question though.

Anonymous asked:

Do you think Todd’s tits are big?

Yes, your honor. They are indeed of considerable size. Yes sir. Those sure are substantial.

But not the biggest ones of the cast though, Lucas is bigger 💪😔

Now that we’ve figured that out, let’s talk about antis and other things…

Anonymous asked:

On the subject of antis, I find it terribly ironic in a sad sort of way how many antis are being busted for victimizing, you know, ACTUAL, REAL LIFE children not fictional characters…

This is super ironic and honestly very disgusting, both in terms of them attacking kids online for their interests and straight-up grooming the younger antis in their own groups. Teenagers are very impressionable  and easy to manipulate, so of course someone is going to take advantage of that. What makes the manipulation easier is the fact that if you pretend to be against “those filthy weirdos proshitters”, it implies that you would never hurt a kid, and it makes these people feel even more trustworthy to them... Whenever I block a bunch of antis and see a random adult in their friend group, I always get this feeling of “god I hope you are just some pathetic harmless loser”.

But even without taking this particular shitty possibility into account, participating and promoting harassment of actual real people (kids included!!) over fictional characters is always going to be one of the most disgusting manifestations of their hypocrisy.

Anonymous asked:

Hey um so this twst server I'm in apparently has antis and they found your Twitter and they started hating on your shroudcest art and I left as soon as they did

Ik it probably won't be helpful if they do decide to target you but be careful please

Well yikes lol Thank you so much for telling us and for your concern, Anon! Unfortunately, it’s not something that we never experienced before; we just figured that even if we block every person who is speaking out publically against us, there are going to be certain people who discuss our stuff on discord. After all, why would they talk about the game and its characters and make something they would actually enjoy? Now that’s just silly. When people have nothing to do or to discuss, they’re going to gossip, pearl-clutch and complain about someone out there actually creating content and being good at it.

The only thing that bothers me about this whole thing is that these people aren’t supposed to be here. This isn’t a place for minors, even if they really really really want to see some disgusting smut to giggle with their friends about. But oh well, as recent events show, even locking your account doesn’t help to keep them away.

I am glad you are out of there though; I guess your intuition was right. I hope you find people to share your stuff with.

Thank you again for your support!

Phew, with all that out of the way… let’s talk about sillier stuff!

Anonymous asked:

Hiii, I'm the Anon who asked about the Leech parents. I didn't expect to see a sketch. Even if it's just their silhouettes, i got lowkey excited, so i was wondering if you're going to finish that sketch one day or post it?

The young leech twins are so cute! they're probably chaotic, too. I also find it interesting that Papa Leech has a cane, and Mama Leech looks like she's wearing a kimono!

That being said, I think it's very interesting that Twisted Wonderland not only has a bunch of interesting characters, but so are their parents/family! Besides the Leech parents, I find Mama Rosehearts and Mrs. Ashengrotto also very interesting despite only being mentioned a few times! I genuinely like that they include a little bit of information about each characters family instead of doing the typical anime trope of "Dead parents" or "Parents are overseas", it's very refreshing.

(this is related to this post!)

Hi Anon <3 I am very happy you liked the sketch! I’m not sure if I’m going to finish this one, but I would love to draw the Leech parents properly and in colour one day. Let’s hope for the best!

Little tweels used to be little spoiled shits lol I mean they still are, but you’re right, they were very chaotic at that age too. And I’m glad you liked the kimono and the cane! The moment we started thinking about the Leeches being yakuza, I couldn’t stop picturing Mama Leech as a sly woman in a kimono, so I am actually especially excited to draw her properly one day. I am not sure if Papa Leech even needs a cane, but it makes him look more impressive I guess… similarly to Azul lol, but maybe he does need to use a cane, maybe he isn’t as good at using his human legs, maybe he used to be better at it but it’s more difficult for him now.

I also absolutely agree with you. I am so glad that we have so many different type of families and parents in Twst. I feel like every character has a story to tell about how they were raised, and it always affects their personalities, motivations, and values. Even just comparing Mama Rosehearts and Mama Ashengrotto is very interesting, I would honestly love to learn more about every single Twst parent or sibling lol

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

Based off this, what are some things you think could get Riddle flustered or excited over his partners?

Hmmm, let’s see!

Floyd – probably whenever he is being more or less serious and focused?? If he just sits there, writing something down, thinking about the test and stuff. Granted, Riddle only experienced a sight like this once, but the butterflies in his stomach he felt that day were unforgettable.

Trey – whenever he handles the dough or cooks in general, but maybe this is just Riddle being excited about the fact that he’s going to eat a cake soon lol But also whenever Trey tries to discipline someone. He likes it when he gets a bit strict with others.

Chenya – this one is easy, whenever he winks at Riddle. Whenever he does it, Riddle gets very flustered. It’s been years and he still can’t get over it and get used to it.

Ace – this one is also rare, but when he does something… handsome and confident and not annoying at the same time? When he shows him a magic trick, hides all the cards somehow and goes “ta-daa” with a smug smile. Nevermind, this one is still annoying LOL but if he took a coin out of behind of Riddle’s ear, Riddle would probably blush a little.

Anonymous asked:

Bows before you. Today I bring with me Ortho/Malleus propaganda 🥰

1. Consider that Ortho has the ability to just absolutely flabbergast Malleus. Leave him totally speechless with his technology powers. Malleus has not a single clue how this little guy works

2. Consider Rollo... if Malleus was thinking he was a top and got met with DISAPPOINTMENT. Now imagine the opposite... If he's convinced that Ortho is probably a bottom, and is in for a very pleasant surprise!!

3. Not only does Ortho have the ability to flabbergast Malleus, but ALSO Malleus shoots out lightning when he gets frustrated, and Ortho is afraid of lightning.... I just think that's a little hot. And very interesting <3

4. For two characters that are both super OP they are surprisingly on very equal footing, but I can imagine both of them getting that NRC mindset that they're still definitely better than each other, flirting with each other about it even ( flirting = fighting to the death for fun)

5. Consider Malleus in a muzzle. This is irrelevant to my case. Consider it anyway 🤤

6. Their longevity..... Malleus is going to live for, what, another thousand years or so? He's going to outlive everyone at NRC for sure, and we have no idea how long Ortho will live, but assuming he can manage his own repairs, he could live for... Basically however long he wants, give or take. They are sort of the only ones who can "grow old" with each other.... extremely interesting to me

That is all, thank you for your time :^)

Anon, this is VERY IMPRESSIVE, you really made me think about these two. It’s a very good ship on so many levels, and every point that you made is 👌👌👌 Come to think of it, the vignette in which Ortho helped Malleus to come up with the Halloween costume idea was very fun. They are so different with how bad Malleus is at technology and how bad Ortho is at… lightning and stuff lol

Malleus is absolutely going to be surprised to learn that Ortho is a top, but then he’s probably going to start noticing how Ortho is similar to Lilia in a lot of ways. And this is absolutely going to amuse him.

The longevity is also a good point. I think this is the only character combo that could stay forever for hundreds of years?? (Sebek, about whom I forgot, is crying in the corner somewhere...) Which is very fun, considering how much both of them would hate to say goodbye to their loved ones.

The 5th point was very sneaky lol but very much worth considering. I nod in agreement. Yes.

Anonymous asked:

do you think that in the Seven's time, instead of by the sevens they said oh my Toboso or by Toboso! and stuff

That would be a funny 4th wall breaking lol Is Toboso the God of this universe? I mean technically she is. The great cult of Toboso.

By the way, is “the Sevens” the thing that only the EN version has? I might be wrong, but I think it wasn’t really in the original game. Which would make sense, it’s not like the Great Seven are a deity or something…

Anonymous asked:

My moe fall is my shoe flying in one direction, my weave flying in another, and then I backflip out a window.

Anon!! This is incredibly adorable, but you should really be careful! 😱 Such acrobatics!

Anonymous asked:

Passionately, animalistically, and roundly is how I eat my cereal

The only correct way to do it….

[dragynkeep]

I'm sorry of this is whiny, but I didn't know where else to put it or ask and I just wanted to type it out lol.

With that out of the way, sometimes I feel like CRWBY is so mean spirited to BlackSun shippers. Like, the panel where they said ' I knew you'd look better without the bow' was just Sun trying to get in her pants, or laughing as they wondered why people shipped Blake and Sun together. I'm a big BlackSun fan, and sometimes I feel like I've been harassed for it ( though, I've been told I got off easy compared to some shippers, so I do count my blessings there) and I just wish that with how much negativity BlackSun and shippers got in V1-V5 when it looked like it could have been canon that CRWBY would have just been more professional about it. I totally get that CRWBY can ship what they want, but it feels so meanspirited to me that instead of just being happy for BumblBY they went after BlackSun like that, and reduced a relationship dynamic so many people loved as a "silly teenage crush" really bummed me out in a way I can't really explain. I know CRWBY aren't our friends, but it just felt really mean. I genuinely can't think of any other love triangle in media where the writers themselves seemed to mock the romantic moments they themselves set up or the fans for shipping it. Sure, I can think of writers going 'Huh, I didn't realize people would ship A with B that much, I feel like it was clear A was going to be C' but I can't think of moments of writers going 'This romantic moment between these two? Creep trying to get in her pants.'

IDK, I guess what I'm trying to get at is that it's so weird to see that it wasn't enough for them to be happy about BumblBY, they had to take pot shots at BlackSun too, a ship which has never been the most popular, which has always invited controversy, discourse, outright death threats, etc. Am I overreacting/being too thin-skinned about this? Or can you sort of see what I'm getting at? Either way, sorry for such a long ask lol

The retroactive stripping of the nuance in Blacksun's relationship is infuriating.

Especially the "I knew you looked better without the bow" scene, because that was not a scene of Sun just trying to rizz Blake to get in her pants, and the fact that these white bitches are trying to downplay this scene is honestly racist.

It was one minority trying to compliment another about a racialised feature that they were hiding away, that they didn't want others to see in fear of marginalisation and violence. Sun complimenting her works because he is another Faunus who is out and proud, and isn't insulting Blake for her very realisitic choice for survival.

Compare that to Yang saying "You have cat ears!" in V9, which is just downright insulting.

Because Yang is not a Faunus, and she is specifically singling out Blake's features as something that she personally likes, rather than Sun singling out her bow as a mean of empowerment.

And it's the fact that it's the white ass VAs and the white ass writers barring Eddy that're doing this further aggrivates me. Stop demonizing Sun just because your shitty written ship won, it's pathetic.

[virgo-dream]

10 fandoms / 10 characters / 10 tags

tagged by the wonderful @seiya-starsniper! thank you for the tag friend ✨

1. Loki (MCU)

Look, this is the undisputed number one spot. Loki has been my ride or die for the past 14 years (!!!), my first tattoo is dedicated to him, and he’s the character that got me through the loneliest and scariest periods of my life. Loki will always be my number one, tbh.

2. Dream of the Endless (The Sandman)

Now, Dream is the character that simply bust down the doors to my heart and took residence, no questions asked. Through Dream and The Sandman fandom I was able to connect to parts of my identity I wasn’t aware of, and to make so many great friends! Dream means a lot to me (so much so that my *second* tattoo is of the dreamstone— in a grand total of two lol)

3. Edward Elric (Full Metal Alchemist)

Ed is the blueprint of the pissed off short king tbh. I always related to how he dealt with guilt and how driven he is, and his character arc was one of the most captivating I’ve ever had the pleasure to experience. As a 14 year old, I would for real go out in public wearing his red cloak.

4. Chrono (Chrono Crusade)

If I have unreasonable expectations of Love, Chrono is the one to blame. Throughout the entire show (and the manga, which I do feel has the better ending) his dedication and kindness to the people he loves and cares about was just incredibly captivating to a 12 year old Virgo. Real character building stuff.

5. Sora (Kingdom Hearts)

Sora had the sickest shoes and my taste for unreasonably large and perhaps sorta ugly sneakers comes from him for sure. I just love that spiky little guy.

6. Raven (Teen Titans)

Raven was honestly the first character that made me go “she’s just like me fr!” There was always something super fascinating about her, and how complex she is. It was nice seeing female characters like her and Starfire in cartoons.

7. Howl Pendragon (Howl’s Moving Castle)

I identify with Howl in many ways, but mostly in how dramatic and absolutely pathetic he is. Also I do feel like a monster sometimes and a way to visualise that is to imagine I’m covered in green slime.

8. Haruhi Fujioka (Ouran High School Host Club)

Ouran should have been my queer awakening, but I think I was too young to realise I was what a large part of my identity was unlocked through this character. Main girlie with a drag queen dad that doesn’t bow to gender norms and just , wants to be left alone please leave her alone she doesn’t want all the trouble come on—

9. Chihiro (Spirited Away)

She was a child, in a shitty situation, learning to find strength within herself to keep going, to trust her instincts, to keep surviving. She means so much to me!

10. Nick Nelson (Heartstopper)

Nick is just oddkdkdkdkdkddkfo he’s allowed me to have good feelings about bisexuality!!! About my teenage bi experience!!! The whole of Heartstopper, really, but Nick’s kindness and his whole journey of self discovery helped heal something in me. Good retriever boyfriends for the win!

Bonus: 11. Bucky Barnes (MCU)

I didn’t want to repeat a fandom, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Bucky. Another character that I just immediately clicked with, and watching him be developed in so many different movies (and even a tv show!) was very special.

tagging: @chiron-crow, @softest-punk, @aquilathefighter, @the-cloudy-dreamer, @staroftheendless, @bruce-wayne-simp, @immacaria, @tj-dragonblade, @rooftopwreck, @valeriianz

[thebluestbluewords]

Polyshipweek 2023 Day 2: Huddling For Warmth

Rotten ot4, only this prompt got wildly out of control and I didn’t get to the ot4 part yet. So right now it’s just Jay/Mal and the larger poly relationship is implied. No word count for today because we are going directly from notes app to tumblr. Yay writing! +

“F-uu-ck y-you,” Mal grits out, trying to keep the shivers out of her voice. “I’m f-f-fine. I don’t need you to baby me like I’m some kind of pathetic princess. I can keep myself warm.” 

“Sure you can, killer,” Jay agrees, still pulling his own crusty pile of blankets closer. “But it’s cold as balls outside, and we don’t have heat anymore after somebody decided to try and light the building on fire, so if you don’t mind too much, I’d like to wake up alive, and not frozen to a popsicle.” 

Mal’s shivering so hard she can’t muster a comeback to that, which is really all the invitation that Jay seems to need to just insert himself into her space. 

The body heat doesn’t register for a moment, because Mal’s body is wrapped in so many layers that nothing but the cold can get through. 

Then the idea of warmth hits, and Jay is working his way through her layers, twisting them up and out of the way so he can shove inside with his own, wrapping them both in the layers of old worn-out fabric that make it over to the isle. They don’t get many proper blankets, because they don’t get much of anything, but they get enough shitty fabric to piece together a decent quilt, and Mal’s status as her mother’s daughter means that she’s got a single heavy fleece blanket as her foundation layer, which Jay peels back with a contented sigh.  “You’re letting the cold in,” Mal complains, but it’s halfhearted because he’s also letting his own little pocket of warmth in, and it’s so far from the cold that she’s been feeling that it’s worth the momentary exposure. “Get in quicker.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jay says, pulling his own blankets along with himself into their little nest. “I’m going as fast as I can, little dragon. Do you want our heads covered too?” 

The blankets smell like sweaty teenager and mildew, but the warmth of their breath will help fill the space. 

“Yes.” Mal decides. They can take them off later, when they need the line of sight again. 

“Sure,” Jay agrees, easily, pulling the top corner of his blanket over both of their heads. There’s a hole in the corner. There’s not much light in the attic of their abandoned warehouse, so it’s not like there’s some dramatic single piece of light filtering through to frame Jay’s face and make him look like some handsome storybook prince. Not like Mal would want that anyway. Isle kids make do, and they don’t wish that somebody would come along with money and power and resources to sweep them away. “Better than being cold, right?” 

“You’re crushing my legs,” Mal complains

It’s marginally warmer together, at least. Jay’s right about that. “I’m not sure if your body heat is worth being crushed half to death.” 

"It totally is," Jay sighs, and tips his head down so that his forehead is resting against Mal's, their faces smashed half together in the small warm space of their blankets. "Not freezing to death is the most worth it." 

Mal wiggles until her leg pops free of Jay's weight. It's not like he's exactly heavy (it's not like any of her crew gets enough food to really be considered heavy) but he's bigger than her, and she's been trying to push any extra scraps she gets at him. It's more useful to have one of them most-of-the-way healthy than all of them starving together. 

It's easy to tip her head to the side, to brush their lips together. Jay's breath is hot, but his mouth is still cold from the frigid air in the warehouse they've been calling home for the last few months. They don't kiss often, because caring about people is how you get attached, and attachment can be a point of weakness that none of them can afford, but sometimes a little kissing can be okay. They can afford that. They can work together to get more than they could apart, and they can share body heat, because it's better to survive together than to die alone, even if it is what their parents would consider a weakness. 

Speaking of their parents, Mal should really stop by her mother's castle sometime. The old stones there get cold, and maybe if she's lucky, the old bat will have frozen to death, and Mal'll be able to grab some more of her things before the spell kicks in and defrosts her again. 

"D'you think--" Jay starts, and then stops when Mal bites him. 

"What." Mal whispers, mouth right up against his, teeth sharp and not quite bloody. 

Jay makes a strangled noise that might be a groan. "D'you think that the others are surviving the night?" he whispers. "It gets cold. In the castle. And--" 

"We don't have the layers to go out and get your boyfriend," Mal says softly. "We can't. If we go outside in this we'll freeze, or even if we do make it up to their street, we don't have a way of getting in. I can't climb the vines up to Evie's window in this kind of cold. My hands will get too stiff to grip the vines, and that's if they're not too cold and brittle to hold me up. We can't get into the castle through the main door without being caught, and the same goes for the manor. If we leave here, we're more likely to freeze than we are to actually help them. We can't leave without making things worse." 

"I know," Jay whispers, like maybe if he keeps his voice low, it won't be true. "But Evie's tower doesn't have a fireplace, M." 

Evie's tower gets cold in the winter, hot in the summer, and barely tolerable in between. She's got even less body fat than the two of them, and the thought of Evie shivering through the night alone isn't an image that Mal wants to linger on. "She has blankets. And-- and her mother isn't stupid. They might've moved into the main hall for tonight." 

"Maybe," Jay agrees. "But maybe not." 

"We can't do anything about it. Not without risking our own lives, and I'm not about to freeze myself on the off chance that we can get in and help the others." 

Jay nods, the motion small and tight in the cramped space under their shared blankets. It's notably warmer with the two of them together, and Mal's face almost has all of the feeling back in it again. "Freezing to death sucks." 

Mal's never done it before. "Yeah," she agrees anyway. There's really no comfortable way to die on the Isle. The spell around the island always brings you back before too long, but the hangover you get from dying is worse than what you'll get from a night drinking the pirate's bathtub homebrew. "If we could save them, we would. But it's stupid to go out and freeze ourselves too and leave all of us vulnerable." 

Jay breathes, and Mal can feel the warmth of his breath on her face, against her lips, and she shivers from the heat of it. It's not fair that they get to share this, and leave Evie and Carlos out on their own to deal with the cold, but there's precious few options available to them, and it's not worth trying to be heroes and save them when it means sacrificing themselves. They're villains, raised and trapped with other villains, and there's no point in trying to be better than what they've been raised to be. 

“We're going to pick them up in the morning," Jay says, and there's something solid in his voice that makes Mal want to argue. She's never met a rule she didn't want to break, after all. "I'm going. With or without you." 

Mal breathes, and then tries not to breathe too deeply anymore, because they've started to actually warm up now and their blankets could really, really use a wash. "Agreed. Tomorrow morning, as soon as the sun comes out and starts defrosting things, we go and get them." 

[suffarustuffaru]

Heinkel Astrea himself >:D

YALL REALLY WENT FOR ME WITH THIS ONE.... OKAY. LETS GO.

Sexuality Headcanon: i think it could be one of several possibilities. he could be straight... he could be on the aroace spectrum... he could be bi and not even know... but we do know what he is for certain..... hes louannasexual................................................

A ship I have with said character: heinkel/louanna PLS THEYRE MARRIED OKAY......... louanna really looked at the astrea family Baggage and still went "im still gonna marry this man <3".... and like the way heinkel speaks about louanna T^TT "reinhard is me and louannas treasure..." "dont take away louannas way home"... LIKE FUCK MAN..... heinkel may be a piece of shit now but he took like those marriage vows of like in sickness and in health SERIOUSLY. its been like twenty years and hes been searching for a cure for louanna all this time. it drives me BONKERS...

A BROTP I have with said character: ......................im pretty sure you know what im gonna say LMAO. YEAH. YEAH. ROWAN AND HEINKEL?? ROWAN IS THE BEST POSSIBLE BROTP THAT COULDVE EVER HAPPENED FOR HEINKEL. deadbeat alcoholic dads of extremely powerful teenage sons club??? theyre literally insane. i love how they first meet because its the most pathetic thing ever. like rowan just seeing heinkel half-dead in some ditch and just deciding to help this random ass guy??? rowan dragging heinkel away like when you grab a cat by its scruff??? heinkel going "this guy is smiling at me but its not mocking... i dont know what the fuck it means" because heinkel doesnt know what fucking FRIENDLINESS is anymore...... theyre insane. im excited for the development thats gonna come out of them meeting. they foil so much T^T

A NOTP I have with said character: anyone other than louanna :((((((((((((((( pls..... pls dont separate them shes already in a coma :((((((((((((((((((((((((( ......except ill make an exception for rowan and heinkel because. they have 95 mental illnesses and theyre ALWAYS making it everyone elses problem... theyd be so horrible together and i can only see it happening if theyre drunk and the world is literally gonna end. they are Terrible. but they Would be entertaining...

A random headcanon: heinkel gets sober in all the timelines where wilhelm is erased <33 because its like. wilihelm gets erased, heinkel and reinhards relationship is better, so its like.... things are a little better for heinkel now. obviously his whole complex feelings on reinhard are either lessened or erased entirely, but i also feel like heinkel got at least Some of his insecurities because of how wilhelm probably was as a dad. and bc wilhelms gone - WELP nice going heinkel half of your insecurities are gone!! so, well, maybe heinkel wants to be fully sober and present for reinhard now. he wants to be in reinhards life as his dad...

General Opinion over said character:

if i met him irl i would immediately pull a pridebaru and poison heinkel's drink. HOWEVER, i am also screaming and crying over heinkel's heartbreaking tragic corruption arc where he goes from a very earnest and hardworking person whos trying his best with all the shitty cards handed to him. and then he turns into *GESTURES TO PRESENT DAY HEINKEL*

i need him to get his shit together and have the most GRUELING, PAINFUL, NAIL BITING redemption arc of all time. he's just so fucking pathetic 24/7 it's like... like im sitting here and reading every scene hes in and im going, god hes like one of those sad dirty exhausted stray dogs you see backed into a corner and theyre just like growling and snapping at everything that comes close. like we vaguely know that its Possible for him to get his shit together at least a little bit (see: pride if), and we Know that heinkel used to be a very affectionate person to louanna and reinhard, and the fact that tappei said he'd make heinkel the mc if subaru didnt exist indicates that heinkels Probably gonna have some insane development, especially given the debut of the rowan-heinkel dynamic... i cant wait for it T^TT i just like how hes Terrible... but hes also clearly very human. what a well-written character. i hope he goes for anime onlys kneecaps in season three.

[moodr1ng]

some people on here would cancel me if i described my oc klein too much on my art blog lol. like klein is this really pathetic self-effacing guy who tries really hard to gain the appreciation/validation of people around him in a way thats pretty funny right. i make fun of him for being white a lot (anti-white racism). i make fun of him for being a 34yo man whos roommate and best friend is a 19yo girl who just lives w him bc its cheap and definitely doesnt think of him as that close a friend (ageist that i make fun of him for being besties w a teenager). most problematic of all klein self-identifies as gay because he finds it easiest to fuck men, thinks its easy to have meaningless sex w men so it doesnt require him to actually put himself in an emotionally vulnerable position, is terrified of women in a bizarre way, and has internalized shitty heteronormative ideas of what m/f relationships must be like, so he thinks he couldnt be with a woman both bc hes insecure in his masculinity (bc hes a small, thin, somewhat effeminate guy who cant grow a beard) and also bc he assumes being w a woman would require assuming a leading/dominant/assertive role that he doesnt actually want in his relationships. and he has done no work on any of this so whenever hes attracted to a woman (and hes specifically attracted to masc women) he brushes it off as "well its not real attraction, my brain probably just reads her as a man.." and he feels awful about it and it further reinforces his fear of approaching women. not sure if this would be construed as homophobia or biphobia or both or something else but im sure some people would be very mad abt this

[always-rolling-my-eyes]

Very annoying that I’ve had to mute Taylor Swift on twitter because people are being so weird about her today. Between cherry picking lyrics, being willfully obtuse to meaning, claiming she’s still writing about teenage topics not what adults should be singing about <nonsensical statement, and being annoyed she isn’t singing about socialism and the state of the world in the year 2024, a real tweet I saw. Not to mention the regressive she only sings about boys narrative and the claims that’s she’s releasing music to fast because she terrified of not being on top, which is also ridiculous. It’s been two years since new music but even still singer who’s been in the public light since they were a teen is scared of what their life would be like without the only thing they’ve ever known? It wouldn’t be some moral failing to feel that way. I’m not even a Taylor shooter just a casual enjoyer but it’s so pathetic and shows how much people feel the need to tear down those at the top.

I’m sorry, anon. Idk why but it’s like Taylor’s haters talk about her more than her fans; it’s very odd and a little concerning. And twitter is an echo chamber of negativity where bitter freaks can spout off hateful nonsense as if it is actually factual and it makes them feel like their unwanted opinions and shitty takes actually mean something. Unfortunately for them, their nonsense has no bearing on the real world, so try just mute and not to pay attention to them.

The funny thing is, there most definitely is an artist who has also been in the public eye since they were a teen and is absolutely concerned with not being on top and it sure as hell a’int Taylor…but 🤐

[krakenshaped]

For the character ask game, what about the man, the myth, The Chazz?

MY BOY THE CHAZZ!!!

Dude when I say I fucking love this guy I fucking LOVE this guy he makes me so happy on every level

First Impression: Initially I enjoyed making fun of Chazz like. A lot LOL I pretty much bullied for his first couple of appearances. His English voice actor (the original one/S1) PERFECTED his voice. PERFECTED! From the start Manjoume was such a snotty little loser and hos voice in en and jp perfectly encapsulates how snotty he is and I think it's so funny that his brothers sound exactly like him but older. I thought he was so funny. But he just kept getting funnier. He just kept getting more unhinged. I think he really took a shine to me during his North Academy arc. I related a lot to his struggle with expectations

Impression now: THE CHAAAZZZZ!!! MANJOUME THUNDER!!! MY GOOBY WOOBY! MY BIMBLO BLORBO!!! MY FUCKING GUUUUYYYY!!!! I love Judai but like. Manjoume is my favourite GX character to be honest. I still think he's so fucking funny and I love how funny and pathetic he is and I think he is perfect shitty teenager rep. He is arrogant. He is goofy. He's having a bisexual crisis. He thinks he's the most romantic feminist in the world. He probably listens to emo music. He wears black because he's a non-conformist™️ and he's Not Like The Other Slifers In This Shitty Dorm. He smells bad. He is me at 15. I want to wrap him in tin foil and put him in the microwave. I wanna study him under a microscope. He is my son!!!

Favourite moment: Every Chazz moment is a fun moment

But also

The Duel against his brother, fuck yeah Manjoume, get their asses!!!!

Idea for a story: Honestly I've wanted to write about Manjoume grappling with a post-grad crisis for a hot minute because I find it difficult to believe that after everything that happens in DA he just hits the pro league like nothing happened. I wanna see him go to therapy and process everything that's happened in his life, especially the guilt he probably feels over both awakening the sacred beasts and his role in the society of light.

Unpopular opinion: I don't really mind Manjoume's weird character progression, because watching him be a little silly even though he's the main rival is fun. I think people expected something akin to Kaiba and Yugi's rivalry but Manjoume isn't Kaiba and his rivalry and friendship with Judai is really different. Plus his silly moments make him fun and relatable (don't know if that's unpopular but voila)

Favourite relationship: Gx Rivalshipping. Hands down. I'm a sucker for Chazz/Jaden and I am a chronic multishipper LOL

Favourite headcanon: Transmasc baby!! Jesse and Chazz are trans guys on opposite sides of the spectrum!! And by that I mean Manjoume is Jesse Pinkman trans LMAOOO

Other than that I refuse to believe his hair is naturally like that. I think he gels it to keep it in that style. It's all apart of His Aesthetic™️, It's not a PHASE you just don't understand his SUPERIOR FASHION TASTE

Also hc he plays wow

[donnerpartyofone]

I had a dream that I had gotten heavily into a (fictional) indie rock band with a lot of thoughtful, poignant lyrics about life and relationships and stuff. I was telling people, "I don't usually listen to anything like this, but this is so good, it's my new favorite thing!" In reality I haven't listened to anything like that in years.

I started removing myself from poignant, thoughtful music about life and relationships and stuff during and after my Very Abusive Relationship, which semi-permanently alienated me from most forms of sentimental, romantic media--ESPECIALLY media that romanticizes destructive obsessions and shitty behavior, which is practically all media as you may have immediately realized. That stuff used to be fun before I actually lived through it and realized that it's always about infantile egomania and that I actually hate people who have to hurt others in order to feel like they have the slightest shred of efficacy/value/relevance in their own narrow little lives (which is a surprising number of people btw). The /bad romance/ thing seems so monolithic, like the biggest most desirable thing in the world, until you get right up close with your nose to it and you realize it's made out of particle board and vinyl siding and it has to be that big to cast an obscuring shadow over a whole lot of adult babies (sorry, adult baby community, I actually don't mean you) who are hoping you won't notice how spineless and pathetic they are. Spending a few years with someone who made it his business to scare the shit out of me and try to ruin my life, fairly publicly, had the one-two punch of making me feel like I simply wasn't good enough to be in one of those dark and brooding romances because otherwise why would he try to convince me I was nothing--and conversely, leaving me totally disillusioned about dark and brooding romances because I had been up close and seen how the sausage was made and it's not remotely as exotic and delicious as people try to tell you it is. It's just off-brand baby food, left on the shelf long past its expiry.

Right after that was over another factor pulled me away from poignant, thoughtful music about life and relationships and stuff, which was working in an open-plan office next to the tech guy pool. Us sensitive, artistic nerds in the production department had a pretty high-stress job that required constant focus, and we were pretty much only ever noticed by the overlords if one of us screwed something up; we were constantly being monitored not just for poor performance, but for potential political incorrectness or any little thing that could be construed as an HR problem--and in the meantime, the tech guys were literally screaming misogynistic jokes and racial slurs and throwing shit at each other, sometimes hitting us or our computers, but the executives had this hypnosis telling them that tech guys are Valuable so everything they do is OK forever. One of my main coping mechanisms was to get heavily into metal and harsh noise: anything with a cathartically brutal wall-of-sound quality and no discernible lyrics to speak of, that prevented me from having to hear anyone around me or even think about other people and their emotions. This kind of music became a huge passion for me, so in a way it was a net positive experience.

Nowadays I don't have a lot of time for music, which seems crazy even to me, like I don't want to be one of those sociopaths who say they don't listen to music! I just have to spend a LOT of time watching movies, when I have time for A/V entertainment, and I don't drive or have a commute anymore, so that's pretty limiting. When I do have time for music, it's a weird 7-10 split of trashy hype dance music like Atari Teenage Riot or Rob Zombie (or other things I'm too embarrassed to mention atm) to burn off my anxiety and give me a temporary ego boost that I can feel ashamed of later, and on the other hand, really heady, long ambient or experimental compositions, preferably with no vox. I think I'd like to get more into jazz and classical music and I occasionally go down a youtube rabbit hole that I really enjoy, but not much sticks because it turns into information overload and I get distracted.

Sometimes for whatever neurotic reason I have this allergic reaction to our collective preciousness about Human Drama, like why don't we have anything better to think about? There's some Herzog quote, I won't know how to find it, where he wonders why people always make movies about interpersonal problems, why not the drama of insect life, of cellular activities, of geological metamorphosis? And I really feel that way, often. But for some reason I am now dreaming that I've found some thoughtful, poignant indie rock band with lyrics about life and relationships and stuff that I cannot get enough of and I'm telling the world. I wonder what shifted to make me imagine that.

[docholligay]

Ep 8: Nat

Hello! This is about up to Episode 8 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 8 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the eighth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

Seeing Nat throw away her whole life over Travis is pathetic, and I love that it definitely seems like it’s meant to be. The show is showing us how Travis was a pouting whiner about nearly everything in their relationship (as teenagers, in fairness) and how Nat is having to seek reassurance because Travis is so about Travis that he can’t think about her feelings. Her ‘betrayal’ of Travis is the sort of thing that I cannot even imagine apologizing for or feeling bad about , did he want Nat to be a virgin so that she couldn’t possihbly have slept with someone he had bad blood with? It’s the most fragile and annoying thing in the world, but Nat, of course, is pathetic. 

Here she is, buying coke (God, that was so much coke. Don’t ever do coke kids, it’s great. If’n you ask me, it’s the greatest ADHD medication known to man. Don’t do it, I am actually not joking here.) and getting drunk and ruining her fucking life because she needs to understand him so badly, again. She needs to know what happened and she needs the promise between them to have been true. I know a lot of the reasons Nat is pathetic come out of her shitty home life, and the obvious plane crash incident that bound her and Travis in fire, and I can think that, while also saying, “He didn’t want to be around you anymore. He hid from you. This is ridiculous. This is crybaby bullshit, you’re just putting shitty black nail polish over it and pretending that makes it cool.” 

Nat is a crash landing of a human being, and she is bound and determined to bring the rest of the world down with her. We are supposed to be disgusted by her, and she IS disgusting, and I can only imagine what I think that narrative is going to use this for--in general I do trust the storytelling here--but I cannot wait to see what it is. Where can we go with a hole dug so deep?

[doxiedreg]

I still have so much school trauma to work through and come to terms with. In general I accept what happened happened and I can't change the past. But on the other hand I'm so fucking angry at the system that failed me and even neurotypical kids. The educational system as it is now is not good. It's just test after test, essay after essay, constant deadlines, constant homework it's just not healthy. Learning should be fun. I loved learning new things as a kid, I was a hard worker. But then school just overworks you, just keeps demanding more eventhough you are at your limit. Even though your mental health is already shit because you are bullied like hell and nobody does something about it. Already shit because you don't have any close friends because you don't even know what to do anymore together with other people your age because you aren't really interested in most teenager stuff. Already shit because you are constantly suffering sensory overload from out of control loud classes, crowded hallways, people invading your personal space and purposeful scaring you by popping lunchbags and drink cartons. Some teachers are just 0 fun to listen to and make the subject they are teaching the most boring thing ever. Dreading whenever it's someone's birthday because it means there will be balloons everywhere which you are terrified of. Having to explain to teachers over and over why you can't do certain assignments or why you need more time. Physical education being the most shitty thing ever as I can never keep up with the others and it makes me feel pathetic. Also the exercises are often not fun for me at all. Just.. school did so much damage to me.. they denied for a very long time just how stressed I was because I still had good grades and behaved in class. My parents kept telling them how stressed I appeared at home. That my hair was falling out, that I was trembling that I didn't want to eat that I was struggling. But they just shoved the concerns away. It wasn't until I had a panic attack in class at school that they assigned someone to me to help me. But it was too little too late. I started going home early because I was just too mentally unwell. They started to question this as me slacking off because I was lazy or something even though I was grossly overworked. In the end I became suicidal and extremely depressed and stressed and hit rock bottom and stayed home. At first this was meant to be temporary but in the end I just dropped out because I couldn't take it anymore. It was a very dark time..and it took a lot of therapy and time to crawl out of it...school had destroyed my self image. I thought of myself as stupid and lazy and not good enough, never good enough no matter how hard I tried. I wondered if my classmates missed me, it they even noticed I wasn't around anymore. I never got closure on that. But luckily I made a new support system for myself online. There were some toxic friends in there at first but it's been a few years now that I've kicked them all out and I feel loved and cared about and seen. In may this year it will also be a year that I've lived on my own, in my own studio apartment without housemates and it also did wonders for me. I mean it's also been tough and brought new stressful things to deal with but I like being in control over my environment..I hope to get a dog in the future to help me with emotional stability (I miss having a dog on my lap and petting them the most I'm so touch starved but I'm not fond of touching people) and getting out more but I'm not ready yet. For now I have my lil fish guys and snail guys to look after and that's already nice

Anyway.. sorry for rambling..I just had to let that all out, it was building up too much. Ever since the sun started shining I feel like my brain is processing so much stuff in the bg i guess the book post triggered some of it to come outward

To my friends: even if we don't talk much, I love you all so much and I'm so happy to have you all in my life. You make me feel loved, appreciated and supported. You make me feel seen. I am so grateful to have a loving support system, even if I'm a lil shy to reach out sometimes still.

Just you guys are all great, remember that