#i feel like that’s what all humor nowadays is and it sucks

[ventingfanfics]

Your Girlfriend (Shuri x Reader)

You had texted Shuri that you were in her palace, so by the time you hit her floor, the door was already opened. She offered you a sweet smile in greeting from the counter of her kitchen. It faded when she saw your exasperated expression. 

“I never thought I would say this, but women are just as bad as men,” You vented to a pouting Shuri.

She chuckled lowly. “Alright, calm down.”

“Am I lying? Hell, I feel like they’re worse!” You stressed.

“Except for you, hm?” She smirked, managing to make you laugh. Her face lit up at the sound.

You sighed heavily and Shuri gave you a drink. It was already poured and everything into a half glass. You trusted her, knowing she wouldn’t dare harm you in any way. It was safe to drink.

“Thank you, Shur,” you said after tossing the beverage back. “But seriously, she makes me want to pull my hair out. Everything is an issue! Maybe she wants me to dump her.”

The latter notion had occupied your mind for a while. Nakia seemingly took issue with everything you did nowadays. You didn’t understand how someone so beautiful could be such a villain.

You looked at Shuri for her reaction. She seemed to consider your suggestion, but wasn’t invested. She shrugged and walked out of the kitchen. You followed her and watched her casually sit down on her futon. When she “man”spreaded, you blushed.

“So, what do you think? Do you think she’s trying to get me to break up with her?”

Shuri chewed the side of her lip, her brown eyes trained on nothing in particular. “Don’t know.”

A few beats passed and she looked at you with a small smile before she started watching the World Cup from her kimoyo beads. 

You felt yourself become annoyed after a while. It didn’t help how invested Shuri was in the game, barely paying you attention. Sure, it was cute how excited and animated she would get when the team she favored did something she liked. But you still felt ignored.

“I think I’m gonna go,” You finally announced. At this point you wondered if Shuri would even care. 

“No, why?” She said quickly, turning her body towards yours on the futon. Her eyes gazed at you searchingly. 

“I don’t wanna disturb your little game there.”

She sighed softly and shook her head before closing the game. “Happy?”

“Don’t get smart. If you didn’t want me here, that’s all you had to say.” You folded your arms and stared at her beige rug. A few beats passed causing you to look up at Shuri. Her eyes never left you. 

A small smirk appeared on her sharp jaw.

You sucked your teeth a little. “Don’t look at me like that.”

Naturally, she laughed. “Like what? How am I looking at you, Y/N?”

You rolled your eyes, involuntarily smiling. 

She scooted closer to you, smelling like mint and body wash. Her leg brushed against yours. 

“Stop being so unserious,” You said, fighting the fact that you felt electricity at her knee touching yours. 

“Are you mad at me or your girlfriend?”

You couldn’t deny that was amusing. “Both. Don’t look at me like that. I came here all sad and in my feelings and all you did was give me a drink.” You felt mildly embarrassed that something so small bothered you. 

Shuri retorting with a clear comeback was your expectation, but instead she looked thoughtful and sincere. Like she was evaluating her actions. 

“You’re not wrong,” she admitted. You watched as she leaned back on the furniture, crossing her knee. She placed her other leg over your lap, causing you to roll your eyes.

“I’m not massaging your feet,” you warned, humoring her. 

She rubbed her foot against you. “Guess they’ll massage you then.”

Her audacity stunned you. Didn’t she realize that her foot was touching your hoo-hah? 

“Shuri,” you choked out with flamed skin. 

“Hmm?” She stared at you deeply, adding more friction. She smirked when you grabbed her foot. A laugh bounced from her throat when you tossed that same foot off. 

Suddenly, a cold shower seemed necessary. You could barely make eyes with Shuri. Why did she do that? She had to know what she was doing.

“You were saying?” Her voice was noticeably deeper. 

Your eyes widened and you locked eyes with her. Her gaze was piercing.

“Shuri…” You laughed, trailing off. “What is going on?”

She just smirked for a moment. “Anyway, what were you saying? You truly feel like I was being cold?”

“Yes. Like you didn’t care about something that you know is bothering me.”

“Well, Y/N, it might sound harsh, but I’m used to this with you. You complain about her and then run to me for comfort. And then you makeup with her. I didn’t feel like draining my energy.”

It dawned at you that you had become one of those friends. The revelation was sobering. And you couldn’t blame her for not wanting to get invested. 

“I’m sorry, Shur. I didn’t think about it like that.”

“But I should have told you this instead of closing off. You know I never want you to be hurt.”

You smiled at her. “Yeah, I know.”

“Can I ask you something? Hush—“ She said as you said “You just did” simultaneously. “What is it gonna take for you let her go?” Her eyebrows furrowed, her expression revealing frustration. 

You didn’t answer right away.

“The two of you are sorely incompatible. You have to know it. And you are pushing each other away. You may breakup to makeup but your love shrinks each time. It’s on life support. Your relationship is hanging on by a thread—barely. Aren’t you tired? Don’t you want more? Don’t you want to be stress-free? You’re too amazing and beautiful to put up with repetitive nonsense. So, what is it going to take, Y/N?”

“What or who?”

She looked off guard and you took advantage of that and grasped her chin, leaning in, She gasped softly but pressed her own lips against yours in a long tender kiss. 

The sheer surprise on her face tickled you. For once that mouth was silent. 

“You are what it takes,” You told her.

She smiled and it never looked more beautiful. This time she leaned in first and kissed you slowly but deeply. Into the kiss, she guided you onto her lap. 

“You’re gonna have to tell her,” she said, resting her forehead on yours. “You’ll only be a girlfriend of mine.”

A/N: Shout out to Michael Jackson, I love his song “Girlfriend.”

[buttercup-bollz]

DAD-BEAT-DAD (But what if Lucifer was ACTUALLY a bad dad?)

Charlie: [takes a deep breath] Alright, let's do this.

[A few bleeps play. Charlie's looking extremely nervous, and Vicky grabs her hand to comfort her. Charlie smiles in appreciation but nobody is answering her call still and it makes her freak out even more.]

Husk: Huh, really? He's that busy he can't answer his own daughter calling him? [looks over with contempt while chugging a bottle of beer] Tch.

Charlie: WELP, THAT'S OUR CUE! [She gives a toothy, awkward smile] See, I told you guys, it-

[a deep voice (think Kratos from GODR) answers]

Lucifer: Hello?

[Charlie's phone slips from her hand out of shock and she fusses with it for a few moments before answering it.]

Charlie: OH! FU- Um. Hi, dad. [collects herself quickly]

Lucifer: Charlotte? Is that you?

Charlie: Yeah, thaaaaat's me.

Lucifer: Oh, hellfire. I haven't heard my little starshine's voice for over, what, how long has it been now- a century? How are you doing nowadays, tell me?

[The entire crew looks mildly concerned/confused at his statement]

Charlie: Well... um... Y-you remember that... "project" I was talking to you about some... some time ago, right?

Lucifer: Starshine, I'm going to need you to be a little more specific. Y'know how your old man is sometimes.

Charlie: (Sighs) It's... the one about "rehabiliation" and "redemption"? That one other alternative to work against Hell's biggest problem? Overpopulation?

[Scene cuts to Lucifer shaking his tobacco against the ashtray, but we can't fully see him yet.]

Lucifer: Ah, yes... that. Well, did you finally have enough fun with it?

[Scene cuts back to the Hotel with Charlie starting to look annoyed- the rest even more confused by Lucifer's phrasing.]

Charlie: No, actually, dad. I'm not having fun with it. I have told you a thousand times already that I'm completely serious. So please, respect that and perceive it as much.

Lucifer: [visibly doesn't actually listen] Uh-huh. Sure. I'm running low on patience starshine, let's cut it to the chase. What do you need?

[Charlie sighs, dragging her hand across her face and obviously given up.]

Charlie: All right. [inhales] Dad I... I need your help. I know you never take me and my projects seriously, but- can you at least come and see what I'm trying to do? You'll understand why it's a really good idea, I promise! And, once you see that, I'll need you to host a meeting with one of the higher-ups in Heaven. Does that sound fair?

Lucifer: [deep, tired sigh.]

[Everyone looks on edge. A few beats of silence pass.]

Lucifer: Alright. I'll be there in an hour. I'll see... your little amusement park. But I can't promise you that I'll be fully onboard. You'll have to prove it to me.

Charlie: [absolutely in shock] What- really? You- you really will come?

Lucifer: Yes, but, I need to deal with the Seven Sins meeting regarding the new Extermination date first. After that you can have my two hours of free-time completely. Is that clear?

Charlie: CRYSTAL! Thank you so much, dad! I won't disappoint you!

Lucifer: You better not. See you later, starshine. [hangs up.]

[Scene cuts to Lucifer. He sighs on his throne and is visibly annoyed, massaging his nose-bridge like he's having a bout of headache.]

Imp servant: Sir? Are you feeling alright?

Lucifer: Never been better. [sarcastic.] Book me a ride to Charlotte's little hotel now, would you?

Imp servant: Lady Charlotte's little hotel? But, sir, I thought you said she's been over it already.

Lucifer: That's what I was accounting for, as well. But it seems our little delusional starshine is still going through that phase. Well, [turns around] teenagers tend to be like that, no biggie. I'll humor her for a while, and in the meantime, she'll recognize on her own that her silly fantasies are just that-fantasies.

[Scene cuts back to Charlie and the crew.]

Angel Dust: Jeez, your dad was being a real fuckin' bitch there. No wonder he's the devil. That guy sucks.

[Vicky looks over at him angrily, about to say something, but gets cut off by Charlie and glances at her sympathetically.]

Charlie: No, really, he's good, he just... wants what is best for me. He's... always been this way, he cares, he just has a... different approach. But, did you guys hear that?! He actually agreed to take a look at the hotel! Oh, shit, he did. [realization sinks in] Alright Co, we've got no time to spare. Let's do this!

[monarch-moon]

Creative Crisis

If you all would humor me for a bit while I spill some thoughts about things....I would like some input if you can provide it.

TL;DR: Creative and existential crisis as an artist has plagued me for years now, along with shame and anxiety despite feeling confident in the stories themselves, and at this point, I'm desperate for an answer that will help me move past it. More info below:

It feels like for the past 4 or 5 years, I've been going in and out of this existential crisis of being an artist, and my relationship with art and creating has been shattered. Every time I feel like I'm making headway, I'm back at square 1, and I can't create with the same amount of excitement and love like I used to prior to 2017.

And it sucks. Drawing and creating has been a part of my identity my entire life, and it feels like something broke in the last few years that I don't know how to repair. Therapy, trying other mediums, going outside, finding inspiration, forcing myself to do it, none of it seems to work.

I feel like a combination of things destroyed it: pandemic, IRL stuff, online stuff, and seeing how the internet as a whole treats art and artists nowadays is just discouraging as all hell. Almost makes me wonder what's the point anymore, I feel kinda jaded in art. I almost hate it.

The weird part is that I can still make stories, I found my confidence again in the art of storytelling, and was SUPER excited to draw all the Elegy stuff I wanted without filters and shit, but the drive to do the art is sorely under powered. Almost makes me wanna give up drawing.

I would say that it is probably the sleep deprivation talking, but it's been going on for so long that I'm actually considering it. I've just been playing games to numb the creative crisis.

If you've been in this state before and have gotten out of it, how? How do you do it? How do you get past the shame and anxiety of drawing and creating and showing off?

Y'all have no idea how desperate I am for answers. Realistically, I don't want to give up drawing, and a deep part of me still holds love in the act of drawing, but...something is broken, I don't know what...

So...I guess I'm grasping for straws here but...I need help from anyone willing.

[strawberry-metal]

Used to do these a lot in middle school. What's your WORSE anime ever, your childhood favorite anime of all time, and your "meh" anime like you find it decent in a way you won't watch it again since it's just meh.

Oh boy uhhh. Ok so:

Worst: This one I’m not gonna answer because I don’t wanna risk getting a bunch of angry fans after me just because I personally don’t like it lol but I’ll give a hint. It’s a mainstream anime and it’s a modern day one.

Meh: To be completely honest, most anime is meh, especially nowadays. Idk I just feel like there’s not really any heart and soul into most works now, and everything is just rushed out. I don’t really even watch shows very often anymore, I rather just make my own stories. (And never post them because I’m too skittish lmao) I guess if I would have to at least say what two categories I think is the most meh? Comedy anime and slice of life. You’ve seen one, you’ve essentially seen them all, it’s nothing new and the jokes often land so flat I get so bored trying to watch it. There are some exceptions to this of course, but I just really can’t stand these two categories. Or maybe my humor just sucks haha!

Favorite: My favorite anime isn’t from my childhood at all, it’s JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure haha. But just in case my autism did a whoopsy and made me misunderstand this question, my favorite anime from childhood was probably Cardcaptor Sakura! Unless my teens count, then it’s Fullmetal Alchemist!

[sazuka57]

/post/718441984343293952/no-actually-im-mad-enough-about-it-to-speak-up when we do it people get mad and say that we're misunderstanding the characters and that we're so wrong and that it's fucking shit. i don't know what to do, i feel pressured to not fuck up

Anon imma give you my biggest secrets to fanfic writing, the ones that have carried me thru 15+ years of fic writing, of unwanted critics, of haters, and of little to no attention to my fics.

1) this is the most important one: write what makes YOU happy. Writing fanfic is a hobby and it should spark joy. It should make you happy. If this means you’re taking the big bad of the series and turning him into a baby that the heroes have to raise? Go for it. If it means a villain is your meow meow and you’re gonna rewrite the story to make him a good guy? Go for it. Whatever makes YOU happy. Because in the end, you are writing for yourself and for you to have fun. Yes validation is nice, but—

2) —but it’s not the end all, be all. It’s always so so sooooo good when people comment on your fics and leave you reviews and go nuts for your work. But I write for dead or niche fandoms and I rarely get attention on any of my work. And I made peace with that. You need to make peace with that. Validation is nice, but kudo/comments/hits are not the goal here: you having fun is.

3) ignore the haters. There are SO many gatekeepers in fandoms nowadays that it sucks the fun and joy out of life. Block them, don’t even reply, just block them. AO3 has mute and block buttons. Use them. And if they are extra rude? Report them. In the old days, we used to say “flames will be used to warm cold feet” which translates to “your hate is less than dirt” (flames here being haters and unwanted criticisms). It still applies.

4) this one is optional but: find like minded people! People who’d enjoy your work! People who you love discussing ideas with! It goes a long way to give motivation!

5) this one is hella important: it’s not ooc if it’s an au!! :) A person growing up in a war zone is gonna have very different experiences than a person growing up with parents who run a coffee shop and will have a different experience to growing up in an orphanage etc etc. and all of these things WILL affect a person’s behavior and will change how they interact with the world. Even if all those three scenarios had the same trauma (i.e. a fire), each one would react differently and would lose different things, which again, affects how they’d act.

6) BE ooc!! DO IT. Why? Because NO ONE is gonna write the character as “ic”’as the original writers/creators. The character in your head is different than the character in another person’s head, and in another’s, and so on. This is because our own lives and experiences affect the way we interact with the world—and fictional works. And working super hard to please the public means that someone out there will always go “that’s ooc how dare you.” You can never please everyone, remember that!

6.5) but also: write crackfic. It will help you break out of the fear of oocness so much. Even if you don’t write them, have crackfic ideas. They’re so good for your soul—humor is so good and cringe is dead.

7) and this is hella important: Anon you are human. Humans make mistakes. We fuck up. It’s how we learn and grow. And NO ONE was born perfect. Writing takes practice. Writing in character takes practice for every new character you write! It’s not easy! But you gotta trust yourself and your writing skills, and that requires practice too! Practice practice practice!!

So, TL;DR: Do what you want. Do what makes you happy. You are not being paid for this, and if people don’t like your writing, they can pay you to write exactly what they want. And fuck up as much as it takes for you to feel satisfied with the pieces your working with. And most important—aus and oocness go hand in hand.

[eddiemunsonw]

It takes one kiss

CHAPTER 1 - Stupid party games

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5

Steddie Fanfic

Summary: Steve hosts a party and ends up suffering through the consequences of humoring Tommy.

OR

Steve Harrington kisses Eddie Munson by accident and that sucked. Right?

CW / Disclaimer: Some mild overlap with S4 scenes (barely) - But (!!) Eddie lives - Mention of F-slur once.

Author’s note: My first Steddie fic! Another first woop. Let's hope you like. It has five parts that I'll be posting both on here and on my ao3: eddiemunsons. Enjoy!

Words: (of current chapter) 3695 / (complete fic) 15381

Steve’s POV

Would it really be a Saturday night if Steve Harrington wasn’t hosting a party at his parentless house right before break? Exactly. Steve had counted more heads than he could remember and barely recognized half of them. It didn’t matter. He put the breakable stuff away in his parents’ room, locked it. All was good. At least, until Tommy decided everyone had to join in these stupid party games. They played spin the bottle for a while, which Steve gleefully avoided because Tammy Thompson was in the circle and he did not want to kiss her. She had been making eyes at him more and more lately and he was not ready for accidentally dropping wrong clues in her direction. He didn’t care much about the others either, but he wouldn’t mind making out a bit if he was honest.

Apparently, Tommy could read thoughts nowadays, because one minute Steve was enjoying some spiked mixture that Carol had made in his father’s favorite armchair (that still looked good as new considering he never sat in it) and the next he got hauled up by Tommy.

“Who wants their kissing skills rated by King Steve?!”

“Tommy, what—”

“Watch, this is gonna be great. You might get a nice hookup out of this and if not, at least you made out with a bunch of hot chicks. We line ‘em all up and you give them a number one to ten. Easy peasy.”

“No T—”

“Tammy, yeah, I know. Alright, you just stand here, I’m gonna steal someone’s tie for a blindfold. There’s always some fucker walking around like he’s on the way to a funeral.”

Steve stood there, still swaying a bit unsteady as he had just downed the pretty strong drink a little too quickly before Tommy pulled him on his feet. So he was going to kiss a bunch of girls. Alright, whatever. He glanced around and was met with several eager, several nervous faces.

Not much later, Tommy returned with someone’s scarf instead of a tie and wasted no time tying it around Steve’s head.

“Careful for the hair, man. You’re gonna make it look all loopy,” Steve complained softly as Tommy sniggered and tugged the scarf a bit tighter.

“Can you see anything?” If Tommy was waving his hand in front of Steve, which he was pretty sure he was doing right now, Steve couldn’t see.

“Nope. Dark as the night.”

Tommy sounded like he was holding a sales pitch. It probably would have worked for a kissing booth or something, except people were supposed to pay for that, for charity or something. Right now, it felt like Steve was the one giving out charity. He realized a little too late that he actually didn’t feel like making out with people at all. Backing down now, however, meant being questioned. And he was way too drunk and honest for that right now. Which in turn also worried him a little if he was supposed to rate these girls. This was going to be brutal. He had to remind himself to give some decent numbers at least.

“Alright ladies, form a line.” Tommy’s broad hands grasped onto Steve’s shoulders and pulled him to the start of the line. “Do you wanna rate them at the end or in between?” he asked him.

“At the end, otherwise I can’t compare.”

“Makes sense. I thought you were too drunk already to still have some logic inside that pretty little brain of yours,” Tommy said mockingly, laughing as he nudged Steve forward.

“Contestant number one! And for the record everyone, no one gives away who he’s kissing. This has to be fair and square.”

“Right. Uh, hi,” Steve said awkwardly, feeling awfully vulnerable now that the majority of the people in the living room seemed to be watching the spectacle, if the hushed conversations were anything to go by. Someone turned the music up a bit and Steve could feel himself relax a little. He wanted to lift his hands to grab her face but assumed that might be counted as cheating as well, so instead he just leaned in and hoped she would do the same. The first kiss was no more than a lengthy peck on the lips which was fine but a little boring. Tommy moved him to the next girl, who wrestled with his tongue as if she wanted to take it out of his mouth and swallow it whole. Unpleasant. The third was actually kind of nice, with just enough tongue and her lips were soft too. After that, everything seemed to blend together apart from the eighth girl who bit his lip a little too hard. He had no idea how many girls Tommy had rounded up for him to kiss and he lost count after ten. His lips started to become sore when he got to what he later came to realize was his thirteenth kiss.

Eddie’s POV

Harrington’s parties were always the best for selling. Lots of people, often people whose pockets were spilling over with their parent’s gracious allowance and he could easily get his deals done without authorities noticing. That was a little trickier at a high school. After he was done dealing he decided to make use of the free food and drinks that were displayed and spent quite some time outside with a bottle of liquor he had found in the cabinet below the sink. He realized he was probably unfit to drive with the amount of alcohol in his system and decided it might be a good idea to sleep it off near the pool until a couple started stripping off their clothes right next to him.

He jumped up, stumbling forward towards the house as he rested a tired hand on the sliding door until he realized that he was pressing against nothing. How he managed to not completely trip, he had no clue. He also had no idea how he managed to halt in front of a blindfolded Steve Harrington, who suddenly leaned in and kissed him full on the lips.

The faint arguing of Tommy and Tammy right next to him was easily drowned out by the slaughtering beating his heart was getting as he not only felt Harrington’s lips against his, but he felt them move. This was no clumsy stumbling forward action like Eddie had done, this was deliberately kissing him. Eddie gasped unwillingly, his lips parting slightly as he did so. Which was either the best or the worst thing he could have done, because now Harrington was slipping his tongue inside his mouth and Christ it felt good.

All that had ever made sense in his life flew out the window and he focused on what he felt only. Listened to what his body wanted. And man, if there was anything his body wanted right now like a lost man in the desert wanted water, it was kissing Steve Harrington.

With some hesitation he let his own tongue join in on the fun, gliding across the other boy’s. He reveled in the fact that a soft noise escaped Steve’s lips when he nipped at his lip and soothed it with his tongue before diving in again, his head angled slightly to deepen the kiss. If either boy had paid any mind to their surroundings, they would have noticed the silence. People had stopped talking mid sentence to witness what was going on. Even Tammy forgot to argue with Tommy about being pushed aside just as Steve wanted to kiss her. Some watched with curiosity, others with pure disgust. When Tommy finally interrupted them, Steve seemed reluctant to move away, licking his lips in the aftermath. Eddie was brought back to reality as he watched Tommy’s disgusted expression, which matched a lot of other people that were currently staring at him in silence. Eddie quickly backed away towards the kitchen and was ready to leave entirely when Steve spoke up, making him linger. Him and his stupid curiosity.

Steve’s POV

“Am I done now?”

“Y-Yeah man. Here.” Tommy helped Steve with his blindfold and the latter blinked a few times to adjust to the light. Still a little high on the feeling that last kiss had given him, he looked around the room oblivious to the weird stares. Maybe they were just jealous, or something. Or maybe it had been a little too wild. He suppressed a grin by biting down on his lip and looked at Tommy.

“How many girls did I kiss? I lost count.”

Carol giggled drunkenly and opened her mouth but Tommy elbowed her.

“Thirteen.”

“Shit, okay,” he chuckled, trying to recall them separately. It was impossible. Rating them at the end without making notes in between was impossible. So instead, he went for decent ratings. He remembered a few numbers vaguely enough to know what to rate them with. Ultimately he left people with 6’s, 7’s and even one 8. The girl he had scored an 8 happened to be kind of pretty, so that was fortunate.

“So… that leaves the last one,” Steve said, eager to find out who he had been kissing last. He hoped she was pretty. Looks weren’t everything, but they were a pretty fucking great bonus. Steve noticed that the crowd died down again, which was unusual for his parties. It had only been a kiss, so why were they being so weird about it? There hadn’t been any weird silences in between his other kisses. He decided he couldn’t care less. He just wanted to know who it was.

“Number thirteen I rate 9.5 out of 10,” Steve started, hearing a few gasps and giggles as he stated the number. “I would have given her a ten if our kiss wasn’t cut short by Tommy,” he said while glaring at Tommy who wore an expression he couldn’t decipher even if he had been sober. Weird. “So… Who was it?”

Steve looked around the room, silently taking hopeful guesses at a few pretty faces until his eyes landed on Tommy. “Well?”

“Uh—”

Carol started giggling again, her eyes nearly closed as she snorted and spilled a bit of her drink on the floor. Nothing new. Steve did wonder what was so funny.

“Steeeeve,” she giggled, then hiccupped and Tommy gave her a worried glance. Again, nothing new, right? Carol was drunk more often than not at parties. Tommy avoided his gaze but Steve didn’t miss a flicker of disgust crossing his eyes. What the fuck was going on? Was she ugly or something?

“Steve,” Carol giggled again, catching his attention once more, “you kissed the freak!”

Cold dread filled him instantly and his eyes snapped up towards the kitchen, following Carol’s gesture, where no other than Eddie Munson had just let his red cup slip from his fingers, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. Eddie Munson?!

Eddie’s POV

Oh fuck. Oh shit. Shit shit shit. This wasn’t good. This was bad, very bad. He glanced down at his shoes, his laces now soaked with the sticky punch he had filled himself a cup with when Carol had slipped out that it had been him. Steve Harrington, his goonies and basically everyone else at the party were staring at him. And what he did next, truly made him wonder whether he had a death wish or something. Unprovoked, not a thought crossing his mind other than sheer panic, and yet he did it anyway. He looked Steve Harrington straight in the eyes and fucking winked.

He knew he shouldn’t have done that, he did. But what made him really fucking certain that it had been a bad idea was when Harrington charged towards him and grabbed him by his shirt, roughly shaking him up.

“Why did you kiss me?! Wasn’t it obvious what was going on?” Harrington practically yelled at him, startling even himself by the look on his face. Eddie lifted his hands up in defense while his brain worked hard to create sentences in his head.

“First of all, you kissed me. Secondly, I literally stumbled inside because I tripped over your goddamn door sill and happened to land in front of you. I didn’t know what was going on until we were already doing it,” Eddie explained exasperatedly. Feeling Harrington’s rapid breathing teasing his throat was not helping him to think straight. Eddie noticed how the other boy’s eyes quickly darted to the people gaping at their interaction and he lowered his voice a little. 

“You could have stopped it, stepped back or something!”

“I could, but… I didn’t,” Eddie sighed and licked his lips as his eyes accidentally flicked down to Steve’s mouth. What was there to say? They kissed, it wasn’t the end of the world. Clearly, Steve had liked it too. Wait. Steve had liked it too. Shit. Before he knew it, his mouth was running again. 

“Besides… you literally rated me a 9.5. You were clearly enjoying yourself, as much as the reveal of who it was disappointed you.”

Anger, panic and the slightest flicker of disgust flashed in Steve’s eyes and he pushed Eddie backwards with force. The unexpected push caused him to stumble backwards and land his back on the counter painfully, a grunt escaping his lips.

“Just stay the fuck away from me, freak!” Steve seethed, his eyes blazing as he furiously rubbed his mouth on his sleeve.

Okay… dramatic much. Eddie straightened his back, briefly glancing over at the rest of the crowd who all had negative expressions on their faces reserved specifically for him. He couldn’t care less about those, he was used to it. Hell, most of those people had looked at him like that at some point throughout this evening. Never Steve Harrington though. While ‘The King’ never acknowledged him, he at the very least didn’t go out of his way to taunt him. Never stuck up for him either, but that was okay. Eddie knew being a popular kid basically stripped you from being able to act out human decency. However, it still hurt like a bitch when he of all people called him a freak. Tommy had, loads of times. He never let the opportunity slide in fact. Carol too, whenever she wanted to be extra cool around Tommy. But Steve? Never. Not once. It didn’t help that Eddie had a silly little crush on the guy either. He knew it was impossible, but still. This shit hurt.

He knew when to take his leave though. It wouldn’t be the first time he had gotten a beating, but he really wasn’t feeling one tonight. Today had been good overall. It would have continued to be good had he not stumbled right in front of Steve Harrington, who had then kissed him. During the few times he had allowed himself to fantasize about him, their first kiss had never gone like this. He wished he could forget about all of it, but as fucked up as the whole situation was, kissing Steve Harrington had felt fucking amazing. It would be impossible to forget in his lifetime.

All eyes were on him as he quietly made his way through the crowd towards the front door and he received a couple shoves from jocks, the other f-word being slung to his head as well. The front door closed behind him with a bang and he walked to his van without looking back. Listening to the deafening silence around him save from the crunch of his shoes on the asphalt. As soon as he closed the door of his van and drove off, he only felt a little annoyed about the tears spilling on his cheeks.

Steve’s POV

“What are you all looking at? Go party or get lost already,” he grunted as he stepped on a red cup on the ground. After some awkward shuffling, one person had the brains to turn the music back on at a decent volume and slowly everyone continued what they were doing before the whole thing happened. Tommy approached him cautiously and leaned on the kitchen island with his arm, facing him.

“Did you mean it?” he asked, a question way too vague for Steve’s jumbled thoughts at the moment. He reached for the bottle in the cabinet below the sink and found it missing, much to his annoyance. Which person would snoop around the cabinets when there was a table filled of shit? Rude. He could have used some stronger stuff right now.

“Did I mean what?” Steve responded impatiently when Tommy failed to give any context. The other guy awkwardly gestured towards the living room near the spot where Steve had walked away from earlier and shrugged.

“You know. The 9.5 you gave to the freak.”

Steve froze in his movement for only a second before he frowned at his friend. He noticed Tommy looked quite uncomfortable and he hated it. Hated that he had been betrayed so hard by everyone around him. It wasn’t just Munson who had let it happen. It was Tommy, Carol and everyone else too. They had all seen him kiss someone he wasn’t supposed to kiss, and how could he have known? He had been blindfolded! Sure, he had smelled cologne and tasted smoke and they had been the tiniest bit taller than him but… All of that didn’t necessarily scream “guy” or something. It could have just been a slightly taller girl that liked to smoke and used her dads cologne for whatever weird reason. Who cares? But no. Tommy had watched him make out with… him, for god knows how long. It was awful. He had never hated anything more in his life. Steve scoffed.

“Are you kidding me? I was totally joking. I was gonna tell them it was actually a 1.5 and that they should get some more practice. As a joke.” He sincerely hoped his lie was believable enough for Tommy because he sure as hell couldn’t convince himself. Unfortunately, Tommy didn’t buy it.

“Doesn’t really sound like something you would do,” Tommy said quietly, almost accusingly. As if not being a dickhead was the worst thing in the world. He wanted to be the biggest dickhead. Anything was better than being the guy who kissed the freak and rated him a near tenner.

“Yeah? Well. Standing by and letting that freak kiss your friend doesn’t really sound like good old Tommy either. What the actual fuck, dude?! You let me down, man! This was all your idea and look what happened! The fact that you’re even asking me this is really fucked up.”

“Maybe if you hadn’t looked like you were into it that much I wouldn’t have to ask, Steve,” Tommy seethed, visibly angry. “You were literally sucking each other's faces off. I have never seen you kiss Nancy like that. Or any girl for that matter.”

“Sounds like you enjoy watching me kiss a lot. Is that it? Did it awaken something in you?” Steve bit back. Tommy seemed ready to punch him but Steve didn’t care. He wasn’t in the wrong here, Tommy was.

“Are you calling me a fag, dude?” Tommy’s eyes were blazing by now, his fists clenched at his sides as he straightened his back. Steve shrugged carelessly.

“I’m not calling you anything, but if the shoe fits…”

“You take that back. You fucking take that back right now or I’ll—”

“COPS!! EVERYONE OUT!”

Oh, great. More drama. Tommy gave him one last venomous look and then made a run towards Carol, grabbed her hand and left through the back door. Steve watched as people left his house through the windows, heard them jump from the first floor onto the roof before jumping down on the lawn and the most impatient line was starting to form at the front door. His parents were going to love this. 

After humoring Hopper for a little while, he went back inside with a warning and cleaned up most of the mess everyone had left around until he noticed that the sun was coming up. It didn’t matter. He wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway. Not with that goddamn kiss lingering in his mind, lips tingling from the mere afterthought of it. 

He hated everything about it, but most of all the fact that he had liked it. There was probably a logical explanation for it. He thought he had been kissing a girl after all. Eddie had full lips. Girls often had full lips. Did guys often have full lips? He sure didn’t. And then there was the wink and the staring at his lips that Munson had so carelessly done in front of everyone. He had heard the rumors about Munson being gay but always assumed it was bullshit because he had seen him trying to flirt and fail at it with girls often enough. He didn’t look gay. But being gay didn’t really have to do with looks, did it? Anyone could be gay. Or straight. You weren’t straight by default if you looked like a jock or something. He passed a mirror on the way to his bedroom and halted, taking in his appearance. Peered at himself to see if he could spot telltale signs of any sexuality there.

He had a square jaw, that was manly. But his hair looked better than half the girls in his year. Not so manly? But again, did it really matter if you looked manly or not? What did it even fucking mean? His head hurt from overthinking combined with lack of sleep. This was all way too complicated.

Steve liked girls. Girls liked Steve. Those two statements made sense. He had to hold onto things that just made sense. Right? Yes. And he had to forget about the weird feeling that got sent straight to his groin when Eddie looked down at his lips. Yes. And he also had to forget about how soft his lips were. Yes. And forget about how a kiss had never felt this good before. Yes. He could do this. Steve. Liked. Girls. End of story.

Right?

[itsclydebitches]

I'm ngl I feel kinda afraid to mention any positive aspects abt the show bc it feels abit nowadays like you just, can't enjoy it anymore. Like no matter what RWBY does you won't be happy and any positive aspects mentioned you'd find a way to turn into something bad or Not Good Enough and idk I love most of your essays but that kinda throws me off. I just wish you were able to watch it a bit less... Against It. Hating it is fine, I hate it, it's a horribly written horribly paced mess with awful characters, awful humour and the worst voice acting in the industry, but I can unapologetically appreciate when a good scene happens and it feels like you can't, or at least can't without adding 50 asterisks and conditionals and ways it could be better. IDK it makes me a bit sad sometimes, since you dedicate so much time to this.

I feel you, anon, though we've known this was coming for years. Unlike a collection of short stories or other, separated media, the longer RWBY makes mistakes the more future content is going to suffer. Four years past where I personally think the show started having serious issues, yeah, there's more to criticize than praise (imo, obviously) and I'm not inclined to pretend otherwise. You say yourself, "I hate it, it's a horribly written, horribly paced mess with awful characters, awful humor, and the worst voice acting in the industry" so honestly I'm a little confused as to where you think these good scenes are that I'm missing. If the plot, tone, characters, humor, and acting all suck, what are we left with? And if you "hate" the show, why would you expect others to find more to praise?

Personally, I feel like I do appreciate the good scenes when we see them, but yeah, they're going to come with those 50 asterisks because, as said, everything is interconnected. If the show does a good job depicting Ruby's grief over Penny, I'm still going to question why we didn't get that when she first died. If the show nails an awesome "I'm still just small" line from Little, that unfortunately makes all the terrible humor surrounding it that much more apparent. My recaps strive to unpack all the aspects that I see, which means that after years of missteps the good stuff is coming with a huge load of baggage. For me, it would be a serious misrepresentation of the text to go, "Wow, Weiss hitting herself in the head with a rock sure was funny! Good on RWBY for writing such a comedic scene" and just ignore the context of that interrupting Ruby's grief because I don't want my recaps to be too mean. These recaps aren't going to RT. They're not written with the intention coaxing a writer towards improvement without breaking their spirit. There's absolutely no reason why I should pull punches - say less than everything I'm thinking - especially in a fandom that already works so hard to paint RWBY as better than I personally think it is.

I'm not going to insult you by assuming your intentions, but frankly I really dislike this whole 'It's so sad you can't enjoy the show anymore, you've dedicated so much to this, what's the point if you're not praising it?' perspective. I've heard it a lot over the years and 99% of the time it's sanctimonious nonsense. Again, I'm not accusing you of that, anon, just acknowledging that a lot of people have tried to "help" me over the years not because they care, but because they don't want anyone criticizing RWBY and have realized that outright attacks haven't worked. But the reality is that you don't know me, or what I get out of RWBY, or what's an enjoyable way for me to spend my time. It's totally fine - and understandable - if you're upset that my recaps have grown more and more critical over the years, but the answer to that discomfort is to stop reading them. There's no constructive criticism to offer here, just an implied request for me to lie and say that I think the show is better written than it actually is... which isn't going to happen. You shouldn't be "afraid" to mention a positive take - the fandom is 99% positive takes - and if you don't like the idea of sending in an ask and me potentially disagreeing, there are thousands of other RWBY content creators who will give you an enthusiastic response. Yeah, it sucks that you can't read recaps overflowing with praise and it sucks that I can't write them, but that's due to RWBY making those major mistakes and allowing them to snowball for half a decade. As said, you claim to "hate" the show and provided a long list of its broad and far-reaching problems, anon. You should thus understand that the problem here is in RWBY being really badly written, not me acknowledging that it's really badly written.

[craske]

I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

[luuurien]

Makeout Palace - The Midnight Show

(Power Pop, Indie Rock, Indie Pop)

With a loose concept and some of the rowdiest indie rock tunes this year, Makeout Palace's debut is a flash flood of everything the band can do, from raucous pop bangers to Wonderwall covers to solemn singer/songwriter cuts. The Midnight Show stuffs a ton of aspirations into just 51 minutes, but the band's fully unrestrained musicianship and wide net of influences all get a chance in the spotlight.

☆☆☆☆

The Midnight Show is all about having a good time, and it's a sorely missed kind of indie rock I absolutely love. More saturated than ever now due to the accessibility of music production programs and online distribution platforms, indie rock albums nowadays tend to rely on melancholy (think Alex G, The National) or angst (Car Seat Headrest, The Beths), focused on using the intensity and movement of moody guitars and propulsive drumming to help guide emotional buildups and releases, and while that's a more than fine way to go about things, it feels like brash and playful albums in the vein of The Midnight Show are far and few between. Thankfully, Makeout Palace's three-piece lineup of multi-instrumentalists Colin Ratcliff and Eva Levin alongside drummer Aidan Shapero is more than enough to sustain the album across 15 songs and 51 minutes, The Midnight Show a bundle of joy packaged with spiky thorns of distorted guitars and punky percussion wrapped around it to make you keep your distance, the album loosely conceptualized about a concert on the moon and harnessing the extra passion and impulsivity live performances bring. It's a little long and doesn't stray far from indie rock norms, but it means the band's fully unrestrained musicianship and wide net of influences all get a chance in the spotlight. The album's biggest influences come from 70s garage rock and the 90s alternative scene, the former's raw energy and the latter's embrace of pop hooks with heavy guitars at its height on tracks like Spiderman Vs. Doctor Octopus and OJ With Ice, Shapero's full-force drumming and the quick chord changes that border on sludgy were it not for Ratcliff and Levin's killer guitar work full of life while being some of the most absurdly fun songs I've heard recently - I had no clue a song about ending a shitty relationship could use such a weird allegory and still be one of the most well-written rock songs this year! Through that willingness to approach their music with less of a serious tone most of the time, Makeout Palace are able to carry the same intensity as their contemporaries without having to be in the usual dejected/detached mood: opener Coffee riffs on corporatism and shitty office jobs without being staid and rigid in their lambast of the capitalist grind ("'Are you free this Friday?' / Nope / Damn!" genuinely made me laugh the first time I heard it for how well it pokes at stuffed work schedules without just plainly talking about how much being overworked sucks) and the furious I Think We Should Try to Have Kids manages to be both a sobering take on modern relationship dynamics and the fears of adulthood and raising children in the current day while keeping a strong spirit and lovely instrumentation. What sets Makeout Palace apart from the rest of the underground scene is that their humorous moments are never absurd and disconnected from the world, yet they're never so grounded in reality that they lose their imagination and playfulness in the process. The Midnight Show is colorful, personable, and never a drag to listen to, and it makes the album's 51 minutes zip by in the blink of an eye. Variance is another advantage Makeout Palace have under their belt, as comfortable playing with sloppy two-chord punk rock and frantic drumming as they are smooth, slinky indie pop, The Midnight Show a round trip around the band's many musical stylings and inspirations. Warp Speed is easily the lightest song on offer, a midtempo 3/4 jam with snappy digital drum pads and a slower vocal melody than the shoutier Coffee and Spiderman Vs. Doctor Octopus it gets situated between, and despite it being an outlier in the tracklist compared to the rowdier songs on offer, it shows off how Makeout Palace can manage space and tension in their songs without rushing to get it all out as they do on power pop jams like Won't You Love Me or Up in Smoke. But when it comes time for songs like those latter tracks, they don't let up for a second, Won't You Love Me's anthemic hook tailor-made for screaming at the top of your lungs during a backyard concert and Up in Smoke's simple chord progression putting emphasis on Makeout Palace's ability to constantly increase the velocity of their songs without losing control over where they're headed, The Midnight Show as much a showing of the band's dynamic songcraft as it is a stunning show of their pure technical abilities. Call it scattered or call it wonderfully sporadic, The Midnight Show never repeats the same idea twice. So even if the bathroom skit is a bit too on-the-nose, or the Wonderwall cover might be a bit unnecessary on an already long album, The Midnight Show is a messy yet incredibly charismatic debut that brings all of Makeout Palace to the table and lets you get a full picture of who the trio are as a group, their strongest and weakest instrumental muscles and the music they playing the most. Maybe the album didn't need to be an hour long if they distilled it into one cohesive package, but there's something about how This is a Police Matter's sentimental indie rock collides with OJ With Ice and I Think We Should Try to Have Kids right after I can't help but be completely obsessed with, Makeout Palace unafraid to show off all the sides of their artistry and give meaning to every moment, no matter how silly or out of place it may seem at first. It's why they can spend the whole album riding high and then finish things with the cold and lonely I Felt It Today, one of the album's secret gems despite how minimal and dark it is compared to the rest of the tracklist, occasionally throwing in harmonics and noodling around on the fretboard as the band anxiously ponders what the future holds after the show's all over - it's a devastating finish and a total collapse of the energy leading into it, but there's no better way The Midnight Show could have ended. If you want to know exactly who Makeout Palace is, everything you need and more is right here, with the added benefit of hearing one of the most thrilling new bands this year and all they have to offer.

[scrapesaladofficial]

Arnold Schwarzenegger Warns We’re Raising A ‘Generation Of Wimps’

Credit: Alamy & Team Coco via YouTube Arnold Schwarzenegger has gone viral for saying he doesn’t want there to be a ‘generation of wimps.’ Older generations are known to describe younger people, particularly millennials and Gen Z, as overly sensitive, fragile, and incapable of handling opposing views or life’s challenges. Now Schwarzenegger, the iconic Austrian bodybuilder who later became an actor and politician, has shared his thoughts on the matter, reigniting a wave of comments. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s comments have sparked a heated debate. Credit: Alamy Agreeing with the A-lister, one person writes: “Yes we are. These kids get so emotional and need to rest and feel very offended by everything!” A second adds: “100% agree. Everyone is soft nowadays and takes offense to anything, even with jokes.” “All they do is watch their tablets and play computer games! God forbid if they have to do chores inside let alone outside!” agrees a third. Others disagree with Schwarzenegger, with one penning: “I think there’s definitely a lack of discipline and courtesy, but I wouldn’t categorize every young person as wimpy.” “Having big muscles doesn’t equate to toughness, Arnie,” another laughs. Somebody else ponders: “It’s time someone was raised on love, and not just all tough.” There is a generational divide between the old and young. Credit: Adobe Stock The generational divide between the old and young gained traction during the 2010s, with the term ‘snowflake’ often being used in political and social discourse. ‘Snowflake’ refers to an individual who deems themself unique (just like snowflakes) and therefore deserving of special treatment, per The Independent. The term has evolved to imply that these individuals are easily offended or emotionally delicate, unable to cope with the realities of life. This perception is often linked to younger generations’ emphasis on mental health, social justice, and inclusivity. Older generations, who grew up in different socio-economic conditions, might view these priorities as signs of weakness or entitlement rather than progress. Arnold Schwarzenegger reflected on aging and his changing body in the interview. Credit: The Howard Stern Show via YouTube Boomers and Gen X were often taught to ‘tough it out’ and avoid fussing over personal issues, meanwhile, millennials and Gen Z are in an age where discussing mental health, identity, diversity, and inclusion is important. Schwarzenegger, 77, spoke about embracing struggle during his appearance on The Howard Stern Show. The Terminator star appeared on the show to promote his new book, ‘Be Useful: Seven Tools for Life.’ When asked about the popular weight loss drug Ozempic, Schwarzenegger suggested that it bypasses the critical element of resistance, which he sees as essential for mental and physical growth. He said: “The more resistance you give it, the more pain there is, the more it grows. The same is for us with a human mind. The human mind can only really grow through resistance.” Schwarzenegger also reflected on aging, expressing a sense of humor about his changing body. “Every day I do look in a mirror and I say, ‘Yep, you suck,’” he admitted, comparing his current physique to his younger, more muscular self. Arnold Schwarzenegger says ‘Let’s not over-baby the people.’ Credit: The Howard Stern Show via YouTube Elsewhere in the interview, Schwarzenegger criticized today’s youth for avoiding the hardships necessary for success, remarking that those who ‘baby themselves’ and avoid discomfort miss out on building resilience. He said: “Is it people that slept in? Is it people that were wimping out? This, ‘Oh, I want to feel good. Oh, I want to be comfortable.’ No. This is where ballsy women and men that went out there at five in the morning and got up and they struggled and they fought, and they worked their butts off. That’s what made this country great. And so now let’s continue this way. “Don’t start creating a generation of wimps and weak people and stuff like that where we go and we’re concerned about, ‘How are you feeling today? Oh, I don’t want to hurt your feelings,’ and all that.” He continued: “It’s nice to be considerate, I totally agree with that. But let’s not over-baby the kids, and let’s not over-baby the people.” Schwarzenegger stressed that sometimes, going through struggle helps you to ‘grow’ and get ‘tougher,’ which means you can handle more. Read the full article

[magentagorilla]

BAck to Tumblr, please be reasonable

I was here a few months ago, with a substantially invisible blog that still managed to be reported and deleted. I found it unfair. I'm an NS4W artist everywhere else but here my subjects always kept their pants or loincloths on. I guess that Tumblr moderation system now sucks the other way around, and if once reporting a blog with fucking real-life pediatric material in it required sending an e-mail now you can click a button, and the employee from the other side won't give two damns about closing an art blog. I find it sad. I moved my first steps here, and Tumblr was this incredible flow-of-conscience experience where you could scroll and find everything that could engage with every area of your brain. Millennial humor, ecology, space, politics, spec-fic, creature design, art tutorials, and, obviously, your very specific subset of sexual kinks. Nowadays is instead a dying town, where puritanism has resurged and the last inhabitants are hella happy that all the sinners have fled and they can all enjoy their wholesome, cozy, innocuous, and sanitized art, while the blog posting cursed AI pr0n thrive just by not tagging anything and avoiding the attention of broken search engine. That's why I've been very cautious with the choice of words in this post, I won't use my artist name or any of the old tags that better describe my work. At least I will be free to use this account as a reader and have some fun typing words in the search tab and see what's banned and what's not. So please, if you stumble upon here and you happen to don't like what you see, just move on. Block me if you feel the need. Just don't report me, because it's going to be a hassle to open a new one.

[the-firebird69]

We have a lot of things to talk about when things are bugs and we've done inspections here and we have to do work we have to have a presence here all the time these damn things will grow back faster than hell and he said at least just assigned one team to my area and we did that and switch the team out every 15 minutes if you have to so we're doing this work and he says that you know it's a permanent team and I'm putting instructions and they're to follow it and they do and they look very loyal but this is a hell hole so they won't do the work and it's really good idea we have a lot of stuff happening here people are fighting over the Harley-Davidson dealer and they're down below I guess it's not going that well for them they're having problems and we are going ahead with a lot of other programs and it's going to be fast the water is coming it's raining already in Appalachia and the waters going to be here around 2:00 a.m. and it will flush the s*** out of here. . And it's going to be a lot of water. And Justin has problems they think he's related to our son and he's running around in these girls are brought in this s*** out of him he was like I accept donations so they're getting his stuff and he's going what the hell is what about dinners like nice ones they're trying to get into dinner and he's having trouble doing it and they won't tell him why and it's a nightmare but it is funny. So some of them figure it out and to see he's using spice and from where and they're feeling better and then a lot worse and they have to try and do it but here we go we have stuff going on

-there's a lot of things happening here and we have a lot going on but his sense of humor is pretty good he shows him in diapers and he never does that he forgot about it I guess and he says no his wife is picking on him cuz she's big now that's what happens is bigger people is never been through it but he sees it and she's pushing him along and he's just having a great time being a little baby him and Jason can hang out with the forties yeah you don't know I know what you don't want to know what that means he's into this s*** now Stan is into this s*** now really it's a Kawasaki 40 I used to making this little dirt bike. But Jason is kind of getting assaulting format I'm going to hang out with the forties and yeah he got a little nervous I was John Riva Lord and it's kind of a nightmare you have to explain all this s*** to everybody the peel and stick was made by the max the coating sucks on purpose so that she goes a fly off and that's what he's looking at going what the f*** is that going to do it's like wild cat and that's what they say too nice a dog on ice and some lady says you just get up and you fill all the holes and Ladies are good at that kind of stuff here mac daddy says Mac Daddy so anyways really I'm talking about this because it's a nightmare

-so there's a lot of stuff going on and it is a nightmare there's too many people and there's too many people don't know what they're doing and there's a lot of products that don't really work great no son says you put down the regular felt paper and the stuff nowadays is better at least flat and you just do the roof and you don't need this inspection s*** and here in Florida you don't have to put peel and stick there's a waste of time and the felt paper on his roof stayed on and was pretty much keeping him dry for months now there's a problem people are upset and he's upset all the time cuz he knows all this s*** that's to explain it this is what they approved and we're getting by with it and I can't fix it now and I'm a child and I have no money and no support from you people here you think it's your scam this ugly they do so we're moving on

-it's a lot of people around here who are going to evacuate we are down to about 27% more lock they're evacuating because an invasion is happening and they feel that their own will make mistakes cuz they always do this time they're serious about it they know this wave is not going to be huge but they come in and they try and take over they have a new headquarters in California and on the islands then they're going to go there because they can hear them saying we'll take you down to your evil and stupid s*** like that when they're ordering it to happen they're just nuts they get into this mode like those weird looking guys on Doctor who with a big helmets and they won't stop it's not that admirable but it works son and daughter say when other things don't. And he helped it happen they love the outfit and the look and they can become big and the helmet stays the same. He wants to see them at Comic-Con and he wants to get a little bigger before he goes but he wants to go as Juggernaut and he wants them there as their characters in those black suits gray suits with the big helmets and he'll do it if they will they say they're going to do it and they know that he has some trouble with it he helps and get stuff he says we can go down the street to KFC and it's better food and more of it and I'll lead the way and tell them we're coming in and we mean them no harm. So he showed himself at like 9 ft and big and the stuff you like okay and I said we're going to need 100 of these and then start cooking them he says we start cooking and we're going to come in in 5 minutes and have drinks so they fill the store up and then I'll have their helmets off the end they stack them on the end and I have to make sure it's there so it won't go on so it is a lot of fun talking to him sometimes are you serious he thinks they can get them there. And they're going to evacuate probably 3% tonight and it will start going up and it'll be 4-5% tomorrow. We expect the invasion Force by Saturday to be very large and those leaving will form it and they'll tell people they're doing it and what happens and we think by Monday there won't be more than 5 to 8% here or less including sudo empire they're thinking it might become a war zone except they'll keep the perimeter going and then withdraw to it and it's going to be bad and we're going to post

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

I heard it earlier and you know what this is going to happen and it's going to be a nightmare it's a mistake but they're going to leave and try and get here but we really are tired of them doing it it's one way or the other they keep going in and out of the damn row boat

Stan

[hallelujahmeatgod]

"Do you want to talk about it?"

KEN "DRAKEN" RYUGUJI X READER

+word count: 1580

+warning/s: cursing

+genre: kinda fluff, kinda comedic

"He's in his room and he haven't left that damn room since he arrived"

"He didn't even spare a glance around like he'd usually do, he just went straight to his room. He'd usually help around first before disappearing in there"

You nodded in understanding, looking around the brothel which just opened a few minutes ago.

The people at the brothel called you out of concern for Draken, saying he's been moody and not his usual self. They asked you if you know as to why he's acting the way he is but you haven't got a clue yourself. Quite frankly, you haven't seen Draken yourself for a few days since you've been taking care of family matters.

They asked you to come by since you haven't been in the brothel for quite a while, also to talk to Draken since none of them wanted to deal with him.

"I honestly don't have a clue, but I'll try talking to him. I tried asking Mikey about it but that kid isn’t any help either" You replied, giving them a soft smile for reassurance.

You asked Mikey about Draken before you went to the brothel but that kid just gave you a petty answer, so you're convinced that they're not the bestest of friends right now.

"Honestly, what would we do without you? Anyway, go and talk to his moody ass cause he's getting a little annoying for our liking. Then when you guys are done come out here and let's catch up and eat the snacks you bought!"

You nodded and made your way to his room. Thankfully he didn't lock his door so you were able to just enter. You were expecting to see him splayed on his bed or be working out but he's nowhere to be seen.

"Ken" You called out softly. No reply.

You set your school bag on the ground and walked further into his room. Just when you're about to walk past the bathroom you hear water gently splashing a bit inside.

You slowly opened the door and there he was in the tub, head resting back on the tub facing the ceiling, with his eyes closed. You can tell he's not relaxed at all because of the tensed muscles on his arm and his furrowed brows.

"That tub looks relaxing yet there you are still looking like you're about to fight someone" You said to get his attention. You leaned on the door frame as his eyes shot open.

"Y-Y/n" He said, looking a bit surprised, sitting up straight from the tub.

"Ken" You gave him a small smile.

"What are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed here anymore?" You asked not too seriously.

"You are. You always are. It's just that you seem busy these days" He looked down at the water.

"I'm sorry for not being around, Ken" You gave him an apologetic look.

He shook his head lightly, still looking down at the water. "No need, I understand"

You stayed silent and just observed him. How he's looking intensely at the water, that you swear he could probably boil that water right now just by staring at it. How he's muscles are still nowhere near relaxed. How his breathing isn't steady. How his brows are still furrowed. And how his lips pout a little bit.

You pushed yourself from the door frame, walked up to him and crouched down beside the tub so that you're eye level with him.

"Ken, what's troubling you?" You asked, putting your hand on his nape and caressing it.

He slowly looked at you, looking vulnerable. A sight no one often gets to see, even you. It honestly pains you a little to see such a look from such a strong, stern man who's always got his composure.

He sighs, leaned over the tub and drops his head on your shoulder. "I-I... I'm just not that okay nowadays. I don’t even know anymore.” He admitted.

You hummed in understanding, caressing his nape all the way to his hair, pulling his hair tie to let his hair loose. You ran your hand through his hair, untangling some knots, and for the first time since you saw him he relaxed. You saw his shoulders drop slowly as he let out a breath.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's just so many things bugging my mind. Life here in the brothel, the gang, and other things. It's just one of those phases wherein everything dawns upon you" He sighs, lifting his head just to hide it on the crook of your neck.

"I texted Mikey before going here and he just gave me a petty reply. That also bothering you?" You asked, massaging water on his head to hopefully help him cool down.

"Yeah, we ended up arguing cause he’s not in a good mood and so am I. It's all just chaos in my head right now really" He groans, lifting his arms from the tub and wrapping them around you. You're a little soaked now but you didn't mind, all that matters is him.

He hugged you tighter and tighter until you guys were literally flushed against each other, soaking you more.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I badly wanted to just go to you, to seek refuge in you and just to lay and hold you like this, to calm my mind. But I knew you were dealing with family stuff and that it means a lot to you, so I just bottled it all in."

"It's okay" You pulled away just enough to see his face. You held his face in your hand and caressed his cheeks. "I'm sorry I wasn't around. But now I'm here, you don't have to go through such tough times on your own. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes, just take your time, I’ll wait for you'' You smiled, making him smile. You kissed the corner of his mouth making him roll his eyes. He pulled you on a proper kiss, sighing against your lips.

"Thank you" He said when you pulled away. "Thank you for always being by my side and showing me affection even though I tend to suck at it and sharing my feelings. Just how would I repay you"

"Repay me by relaxing properly, dropping the attitude towards other people, and reconciling with Mikey" He groaned at the last part which made you chuckle.

"What? You'd be doing the gang a favor if you take the initiative, Ken. We all know Mikey wouldn't dare do it, and the longer you guys aren't besties the more agonizing it'll be for the rest of the gang. Imagine the captain and the vice captain being petty, ugh, I already feel bad for all of them" You said humorously, making him pull away completely and sit back on the tub as he pouts.

"I'm always doing it." He pouted even more.

You chuckled, ruffling his hair. "You know Mikey can be an extreme kid when he's not beating up someone."

"Why do I always have to be the bigger person?" He said under his breath.

"I mean you are 6'1 and Mikey's only 5'3"

"You're lame" He immediately countered before laughing lightly, making you laugh too. If being lame means you'll get to hear this giant laugh, well maybe being lame isn’t too bad.

"IS THAT THE GIANT'S LAUGH THAT I HEAR?!" You heard someone say from the outside. Suddenly the door burst open revealing Remi.

Draken rolled his eyes, flipping her off and she flipped him off too.

"Now that the giant doesn't seem like an asshole anymore Y/n let's go and catch up!" She grinned, pulling you up and out of the bathroom, not giving you time to reply.

"Hey! You can't just take her away!" Draken protested, standing up from the tub quickly wrapping his towel around his waist.

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you, restricting Remi from pulling you away. He and Remi immediately looked at each other with daggers as they kept on pulling you. At this point they could definitely cut your body in half.

"Well I already am, what are you gonna do about it?" Remi spat.

"Umm….Pull her away from you? You midget" Draken spat back but more calmly, which is honestly annoying. It's always the most annoying when people talk back in a calm manner...or is that just me?

"At least I'm not as moody as you. You act way worse than a woman on her period or a pregnant lady!"

They went back and forth with you still in between them. For every comeback they kept on pulling you.

"OKAY! Kindly shut the fuck up you two?" You smiled sarcastically at both of them, pulling your arms from them. They both pouted and huffed like little kids, turning away from each other.

"I'll go with Remi now since it has been a while since I saw them." You said, making Remi light up and Draken give you an offended look.

"WHAT--" Draken was about to protest but Remi burst into laughter pulling you to the door. You shrugged at Draken as he gave you a narrowed look and mouthed "traitor"

"Oh-- and when you're done, change the bulb in the lounge room, jerk!" She stuck her tongue out.

"Seriously, when will I ever catch a break-- you know what? Just get out you two!" He groaned, making you and Remi laugh.

[egg-emperor]

I feel like there's a lot of negativity online about the sonic games, and really sonic in general. It can be a huge bummer, y'know?? I feel like a lot of sonic fans are never satisfied, ESPECIALLY on the subject of Eggman. If it's not "Eggman's such a joke nowadays!" Then it's "that's uncharacteristically evil for Eggman!" Or sometimes you even get a "Eggman's too one-dimensional!"

Like... c'mon guys, just let us enjoy our lovely modern egg.

There really is and it's really hard to avoid. There's a very loud part of the fanbase mostly on YouTube and Twitter that absolutely hate the games with the same kind of energy as the people they complain about with IGN saying that Sonic was never good, just the "most of the Sonic games in the series that aren't the classic, Adventure games, or Generations fucking suck" and hate more games than they like.

People are so negative and constantly whine about the "meta" era and it's a shame nobody wants to admit that any of the games except for Generations have qualities and they jump on anyone that tries to acknowledge and appreciate them. They repeat themselves over and over with their irrational hatred because it's easy attention and people blindly agree, regardless of how reasonable or not it is.

I want to be hopeful, well cautiously optimistic rather, about Frontiers but it's really annoying how people are acting like every aspect of the stories, characters, and gameplay were completely shit in most of the games in the past 12 years and like what we've seen is something completely different just because of the tone and having Flynn as the writer, even though a lot of those decisions are still Sega's.

And all the hate for modern Eggman for like every game beyond the Adventure era pisses me off immensely. People don't want to hear it and are in deep denial but he's still the EXACT SAME at the core as he was in the Adventure games, literally the only difference is the tone of the stories and focus on the humor of the more recent games overall, and that has nothing to do with the character, he's not to blame!

Eggman was still as evil, smart, charming, and entertaining as ever in Unleashed and even Colors to Forces. There was more focus on the humor in some games to match the tone of the stories overall and less screentime of his evil but he was still very much evil with his plans, a great threat with his actions, and still had serious moments. He's the most consistently characterized and it's always a delight to watch.

Eggman was getting way too much hate and slander already with those that barely understand his character, choose to be ignorant and believe all the slander and misconceptions, and all say he's nothing but a big joke despite all the blatant moments that clearly show otherwise. It's painful to see it getting worse with the Frontiers stuff we've been getting because people are saying that Eggman is "finally good again"

He literally didn't stop doing the all things they're praising him for in the small amount we've seen of him in Frontiers for even a second! The real good thing about the scene is that his dialogue and reaction to the situation he's in feels in character and consistent with the character he's literally always been, never stopped being in the 2010s, and I hope will continue to be in Frontiers.

And you know how I feel about those that claim anything feels "too evil" for him, even though he hasn't been seen to have limits in how far he'll go, as long as it doesn't result in the whole world being destroyed so he dies/can't rule it, even in the 2010 games show this and his selfishness in it. And those that dare claim he's one-dimensional are hilariously wrong, he has the most range and tons of potential in both humor and evilness!

People need to stop being in such deep denial that Eggman has always been one of the best, most consistently well-written and portrayed characters in the series and that both his humor and evil are very important and still prominent. He deserves way more credit and respect than he gets. I'm just really glad I'm not alone in acknowledging and appreciating him as he truly deserves! 🥰💜🥚

[toru-oikawas-milkbread]

A-Z NSFW Alphabet | Shinsuke Kita

Pairing: Shinsuke Kita x f!reader

Word count: 4.3K

Warnings/contents: Sex, strong language, variety of kinks, 18+

Notes: N O B O D Y can change my mind that this man is a soft-dom. I’m dying on this hill. With that being said, I hope you agree with that statement and like this post 💕

In all of my NSFW posts, all of the characters are 18+! If you would like to see my growing list of other Haikyuu boys whenever I add them, you can follow {this link} to my masterlist!

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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Kita is an aftercare god. He takes such good care of you by getting you into the shower, changing the sheets, putting your blanket in the dryer so that it’s warm when you get into bed, fluffing the pillows up, making sure that you have water on your bedside table, and showering with you if you wanted him to. He would wash your hair and back, letting you rest your head on his shoulder while the warm water slides down your bodies for a few minutes as he softly massages your shoulders. He would help you get dressed, carry you around, and hold you close while he strokes your hair and you try and sleep

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

Theirs: He likes his hands. He knows that they’re a bit rough, but they’re also large and always warm enough to warm your chilly hands. He can grope at your chest with his hands, hold your hands in his, cup your face in his hands, and be able to feel you close to him and hold you all because of his hands

Yours: He’s always really liked your breasts. He likes to see your cleavage, and don’t even get him started on when you’re wearing a shirt with no bra and he can see your nipples. He likes to watch them bounce while he’s fucking you. He also enjoys slapping them a little bit to make them bounce and shift inside of your shirt when you’re not wearing a bra. Kita also really enjoys sucking on your nipples and licking up your cleavage while he pushes them together with his hands

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

For the most part, Kita likes to cum inside of you. He doesn’t necessarily care for watching his cum slide down your legs like some of the characters, and he doesn’t really care for cumming on your stomach either. Even if the sheets are being changed, he doesn’t care for making a bigger mess, especially on your body. However, on the rare occurrence that you would slide Kita’s cock between your breasts, he would cum on your chest

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He would really like to have sex with you at the beach. The distant sounds of the ocean crashing against the rocks, the sounds of the city at night, just the two of you alone in the sand on a blanket— kissing, feeling each other, pleasuring each other. But he’s never pursued this thought because the beach is a very public area and who knows what might happen. However, if you were to bring this up, it wouldn’t take much convincing on his end

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

You were Kita’s first ever experience. The two of you took things slow and careful, with lots of questions from him and asking for your guidance to make sure that he knew what you liked and didn’t like. He would make sure that you were okay with different things that he tried, not wanting to make you uncomfortable or put you through any pain. He talked with you beforehand to ask about some things you liked so he could hone in on those skills and learn how to make you squirm and squirt around his fingers. He has a very good memory and it didn’t take him long to perfect his skills in the bedroom because he’s very vocal with you

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He’s always loved missionary. He likes to look at you squirming beneath him and seeing the faces you make as you reach your orgasm around his cock. He likes the ability to kiss you whenever he wants. He likes looking into your eyes and being able to lean down and whisper how much he loves you in your ear. He likes being able to pull back a little bit and watch your breasts bounce along with his movements. He likes to moan in your ear and have you moaning in his while you bury your face into his shoulder. And he especially likes when you wrap your legs around him and keep his body snug against your own. Occasionally he likes to pull back and bring your legs up onto his shoulders. He likes this because he can see even more of you and he still has the ability to lean down to kiss you if he felt like it

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Kita is somewhere between serious and humorous. He likes to make you laugh. He doesn’t want sex to be a serious thing that you can’t still enjoy each others presence in and laugh about silly things like bonking your heads even after how many times you’ve been in bed together. However there are more serious moments where the two of you stare into each others eyes, Kita’s hand holding your own down on the bed as he pushes himself inside of you, but even the serious moments are very loving. There isn’t a time of any day that you aren’t reminded that Kita truthfully and very deeply cares for you

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Nowadays, Kita shaves it all off completely. For a long time he only trimmed it, but one day while he was in the shower he thought that if he was going to be trimming it so short, he might as well go ahead and shave it. He mainly only wanted to see what it would feel like against his clothes, and not to mention you, if he was fully shaved down, and he realized how much better it feels without the hair. He keeps himself very clean, very frequently

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Kita is a very romantic, sweet man. He treasures you above all else, praising you with kisses pressed to each part of your body, a soft tone that makes your heart race and a gentle gaze that makes your cheeks flush hot. He never lets you go a day thinking he could love you any less today than he did yesterday, and he never makes you feel like he won’t love you the same tomorrow. Kita has never once disappointed you, and he doesn’t plan on starting now

J = Jerk off (masterbation headcanon)

If he ever needs to get off that badly that he can’t merely ignore the boner, he has no objections to taking care of the issue himself. He doesn’t like bothering you with sucking him off, however he might occasionally see if you would want to have phone sex. However there is never any pressure because he really can take care of the boner himself

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Light teasing: (Explained further below)

Praising: Kita is constantly praising you. Whether it be for how good you suck on his cock whenever he rarely says yes to you sucking him off or you’re in 69, how good you taste, how cute you are squirming for his tongue and his fingers, how cute it is that you’re so wet and ready for him, how well you take his cock, how good you feel when you’re clenching around him, etc. He also calls you many sweet things in bed. His favorite names to call you are: “Baby” and “My love,” but Kita will also call you “(His) Good girl” sometimes softly in your ear. He’ll call you one of these names while he gently caresses your cheek, telling you that you’re so pretty when you’re taking his cock inside of you

Daddy kink: He’s definitely into being called daddy, but he also wouldn’t ask for it. It was something that he didn’t know he was into until one time the two of you were having sex and it slipped out of your mouth. He wasn’t expecting it and had stopped in shock, asking you what you had just called him. You were extremely embarrassed, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the night. In that moment, he simply caressed your face and whispered soft assurances that it was okay and that he didn’t mind it, and that you could call him that if you wanted to, but it was something he grew fond of very fast

Very light dumbification: He’s only into this in the sense that he enjoys fucking you until you’re unable to think of anything beside him and how good he feels inside of you. Sometimes he’ll whisper something about how you seem mind-numb around his cock, but he wouldn’t be mean about it. His tone would be gentle as he caressed your cheek, calling you his cute little baby and asking you a question to hear you mumble out an incoherent answer. He loves it when your moaning gets messy and incoherent because then he knows that he’s done his job

Light edging: Kita doesn’t really deny you of what it is that you want and what you’re craving, but he does know when to edge you once or twice before he lets you reach your orgasm because it’s going to make it feel that much better when you do finally cum around his fingers or down into his mouth. It leaves you panting and feels much better than when he just gives it to you. Besides, he can’t lie, listening to you beg for him to let you cum on your own free will makes his cock throb

Squirting: He loves to make you squirt. He enjoys seeing how much he can make you squirt back to back. Once he got the hang of how to make you gush, he started to do it every single time that you were in bed together. He likes to edge you a couple of times and then make you squirt several times in a row. He finds it fascinating to watch, and he also knows that it feels good for you. He really likes it when you squirt around his cock because you squeeze tighter around him and it makes both of you feel good

Overstimulation: There’s nothing more that Kita loves than overstimulating you. Than hearing your moans become a sobbing, incoherent mess. Than feeling your pussy clenching and gushing around his cock until you have nothing left to give him. Than feeling your nails in his back until your fingers are numb and there’s red scratch marks on his skin. Than kissing you sloppily until you’re unable to focus on the kiss and get too lost in how good it feels. Than having you fall asleep quickly in his arms afterwards because you’re exhausted, clean, and satisfied— just like he always intends on leaving you after sex

Clothes: Kita loves to fuck you while you’re wearing his shirts. He thinks that you look so cute— so small in his large shirts, especially the dress shirts that he has. He can leave it unbuttoned on you, this way he can watch your breasts bounce while he’s inside of you and still have the satisfaction of you wearing his shirt. It’s a little reassurance that you’re all his and his alone, especially in the moment. Because your mind isn’t anywhere but him, and he knows that— and in return his mind isn’t anywhere but you

Soft dom: He is a very gentle man. Everything that he does, he does it gently with you. He wouldn’t ever want to hurt you more than how he stretches you out, and when it comes to thoughts of degrading you or calling you a whore, he doesn’t get off. He’s gentle, soft, and loving. Even when it hurts, he tries to take things slow and gentle with you, being as caring as he’s always been. He’s a sweetheart and he loves to praise you. He likes to see you smile when the two of you are in bed, and hearing your laughter only makes it better. He wouldn’t get off to being mean to you or hurting you in any way

Service dom: Kita gets off on getting you off. He wouldn’t care much for you sucking his cock, instead wanting to bury his face between your legs and making you squirm and moan beneath his touch for hours. He would do anything that you liked, within reason. He wants to make you as happy as he can. You would never leave that bedroom unsatisfied— that he makes damn sure of

Somno (sex on a sleeping/sleepy person): It isn’t the most frequent occurrence, but sometimes Kita likes to rub your clit or finger you gently while you’re sleeping to hear your sleepy moans. He would also love to wake you up on the weekend mornings with his face already between your legs. He usually only does it on the weekends, but if you happened to be having a wet dream on a weeknight, sometimes he can’t help himself from pressing a few kisses along your neck and starting to finger you— especially if you were to moan his name in your sleep

Lactophilia: I think that if you had Kita’s baby, he wouldn’t mind at all still sucking on your nipples while you were breastfeeding. He would massage your breasts for you when they were especially tender, watching some milk drip from your nipples and being fascinated by the sight. He’d be curious about how it tasted and ask you if he could taste it, and it just became something that happened sometimes. When you’re in missionary and breastfeeding, he would play with your nipples to make some milk squirt from them

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

#1: Kita likes to have sex in the bedroom above all else. It’s comfortable, close to the bathroom, warm, and he likes to keep pillows beneath your head while the two of you are having sex so that he knows you’re nice and comfortable. He would never let your head hit the wall more than once, if that. He’s a very observant man, and if he thinks that you’re too close to the wall, he’ll put a pillow behind your head for extra assurance that you don’t bonk your head

#2: Kita really likes shower sex. It isn’t as frequent nor would he try and have sex with you every single time that the two of you showered together, but say that the two of you were to finish in the bedroom but you were both willing to go a little longer, he would have no objections to fucking you against the wall. Kita would get down on his knees and eat you out while the warm water ran down your body, and he would actually really like it when you suck on his cock in the shower sometimes

M = Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)

Knowing that you’re feeling good is what makes this service dom happy. It’s all he really needs to keep going, hearing your moans and having you tell him that it feels good drives him wild. He loves it when you’re more vocal because it’s extra assurance that you don’t feel pressured into having sex with him— especially when he’s the one who initiates it. He likes to make you squirm beneath him, often times reaching down and rubbing at your clit if you were in the right position

N = No (something they wouldn’t do/turn offs)

Kita wouldn’t do anything too harsh. Very gently degrading you by calling you a slut or a whore (only if you asked him to) would be the worst that he would do. Kita is not into the idea of hurting you, so even if you were into it, he wouldn’t slap you and only gently slap your ass sometimes— but it’s a rare occurrence because in the moment he isn’t thinking about wanting to slap you

O = Oral (preferences in giving/receiving, skill, etc.)

He is very good at oral and he loves to do it. He likes to suck on your clit and finger you until you’re squirting around his fingers and soaking the bed. He also enjoys teasing you with his tongue, eyeing you as he laps at your entrance and occasionally pushing his tongue inside of you. But his favorite thing to do would be edging you once while he’s between your legs and then making you squirt a bunch. He likes it when you pull on his hair and tighten your legs around his head before you reach your orgasm. Another thing that Kita loves is when you sit on his face— not to suck his cock, but so that he can suck on your clit and massage your breasts while he watches your face

It isn’t very important to him if you were to suck his cock or not. He wouldn’t ask for it, and often times would turn you down if you were to ask him if he wanted you to suck it. He’s all about pleasing you, however if you were to not ask and get between his legs, he wouldn’t turn you down. He would hold your hair back so he could look at you, softly moaning and telling you that it feels so good. He really likes how warm your mouth is around his cock, but he can’t wait to get back to pleasuring you again. A good option for him is 69 so that you can suck on his cock while he eats you out, but it’s another thing he often times turns down and tells you to turn around when you sit on his face and go to lean down. He would really like to feel your breasts against his body while he eats you out though

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He always takes it slow and gentle with you. He gives you as long as you need to adjust when he’s inside of you, making sure that you’re comfortable with the position and on the bed before he starts to slowly move inside of you when you tell him that he can. He makes sure that you’re wet enough and he always has lube on hand to make things easier if he’s struggling to get you to a point he deems worthy. He doesn’t want to hurt you in any way, so he takes things very slow and he’s always very sweet

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Kita is not really a fan of quickies. He likes to pleasure you, he likes to get you soaked and ready for him. He doesn’t like to strip off all of your clothes and push himself inside of you right away, he likes to take things slow. He likes to slowly undress you and occasionally slide his own shirt onto you. He likes to kiss and suck on your neck teasingly while he gently rubs at your clit to make you wet. He likes to take his time, he doesn’t like feeling rushed when it comes to pleasing you. However, something he would make an exception for would be if you were in the kitchen after the two of you had already been touching each other on the sofa. He would not mind slowly fucking you while you leaned over the counter while dinner cooked

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

He might be willing to try a few new things with you, though nothing too extreme, and if either of you weren’t comfortable with the idea, it’s always easily considered dropped. When the two of you are trying new things, he’s always very vocal. Talking to you and making sure that you’re doing okay, that it isn’t hurting you and that you’re liking it so far. If he senses that you’re uncomfortable, he would stop and ask if you were okay immediately instead of waiting it out to see if you were just adjusting to the new sensation. Most of the time, the two of you stick to what you know

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Kita’s stamina is pretty impressive. He can go about 3-4 rounds depending on the night, eating you out between rounds to give himself a break and to continue pleasuring you until you were an overstimulated mess around him. If you were really in the mood and weren’t done, he could push himself and go 5-6 rounds, but afterwards he would be dead exhausted, and typically the 5th or 6th round happens in the shower so the two of you can get a head start on getting clean

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He isn’t really big on the idea of using things in the bedroom. He likes the way things are— getting you off with his fingers and tongue. He’s proud of the way that he can make you gush around his fingers, and dare he say that it’s given him a bit of an ego. He doesn’t really want the help of a vibrator to make you gush. He thinks he can do it just fine on his own

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kita doesn’t tease you much, only edging you once or twice. He likes to give you what you want. Making you happy makes him happy, it’s always been that way. However he thinks that it is adorable when you beg for him because you don’t have to and he’s going to give you what you want even if you demand it. He wouldn’t stop you from begging if that’s what you wanted to do, but he wouldn’t make you either

V = Volume (how loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

Kita is very vocal. His moans are typically soft and right by your ear. He’ll give a few scattered grunts and soft groans, though his moans are pretty low and from the back of his throat. His sounds are very consistent in the way that even when he’s cumming he doesn’t get too much louder and his moans don’t get high or whiny. He also talks to you a lot, making sure you’re feeling good, praising you, etc. He likes to keep decently quiet so that he can hear you because it’s something that both gets him off and helps him know that he’s doing good for you

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Kita is a big cuddler. He loves to curl up with you on a rainy day with a good book and just read together. He likes to hold you close every single night in bed. After dinner, the thing that he’s most excited for is to curl up with you on the sofa and watch something or just talk about your separate days. He likes to lay on his back at night and have you laying on your side with one of your legs around his waist, his hand on your thigh and your hand on his chest, softly tracing patterns over his night shirt before you fall asleep with your hand flat on his chest. You relax him after long, stressful days and he only hopes he does the same for you

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Kita’s dick is pretty thick and it stretches you out well. His cock is around 6.6 inches long. Kita is a very clean man, shaving and taking care of himself to make sure that he smells fresh not only for you, but for himself as well. He shaves his balls quite frequently as well. He is also pretty healthy, so his cum wouldn’t have a distinctly gross taste to it, and because it’s so rare that you really get that much in your mouth, it always shocks you by being sort of sweet. Kita is good with his cock, knowing just how deep to push it inside of you at what pace to make you lose your mind around him

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive truthfully isn’t very high. He would have sex with you whenever you asked, however he would only initiate it maybe once or twice a week. Both because he loves to simply curl up with you and enjoy a nice quiet night together where you talk to each other about your new interests and how each others separate days were, but also because he doesn’t want you to think that he’s only in this for your body. As much as he does love having sex with you and he loves pleasuring you, Kita would never want you to feel like anything less than the love of his life and more of a sex object

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t fall asleep until you do. He has no trouble staying awake if you’re struggling, and he’ll do anything he can to help you out. Whether that be getting a small snack because you’re hungry, making you some tea, humming to you and softly rubbing your back while you curled up in his warm arms, or getting up with you to make some tea to help you sleep. He’d whisper sweet words about how much he loves you, sometimes listing off things he loves the most about you before you fall asleep. He’ll also massage your head to help you sleep if you wanted him to, and he loves to hold hands while you’re sleeping together

[zevranunderstander]

i miss how old big game titles were just allowed to be mean and weird sometimes and weren’t these super sanitized, disney-like, family-friendly, very non-political products that had to be consumed by the largest audience possible.

like, not every game mechanic in the old animal crossing games made sense, sure. there were festivals you didn’t get any rewards for or played minigames at, you just put some flowers in front of your house or your neighbours suddenly had christmas lights around their houses, but old animal crossing games were way more focussed on creating a community and interacting with characters you like. if you were mean to characters in animal crossing they would start to gossip about you and spread mean rumors, i remember i had so much fun making one character my enemy - i didn’t want her to move away, it was part of the immersive story i made myself. old animal crossing game came with legends to them, like, “if you do x, tom nook opens his shop in the middle of the night, but everything is ten times as expensive”, there wasn’t much of a mechanical point to any of these but they made you discover stuff about the game even after playing or a year or so. for me, animal crossing: new horizions is nothing like playing old animal crossing games - the game is so polished it loses all it’s weirdness and charm.

the early sims games were full of really mean dialogue lines about your characters, featured a lot of stuff that had no real gameplay to it other than the feeling of playing with barbie dolls and could get *incredibly* weird and while i still like sims 4 it is nothing like playing sims 2 for me. i recently checked out the new sims 4 feature where you can play scenarios, but almost all of the scenarios are like “you are rasing a young child/multiple children”, “you play as a person who works in retail” etc. while a similar feature existed in sims 2 where all the scenarios were batshit insane stuff you wouldn’t already play in the game as usual. like just this random scrap of lore says SO much about how much weirder the series used to be:

this next point is gonna be a weird one, but in the early video game days almost every game had a brothel or some other sex-related content (or both). don’t misunderstand this, i do not think objectifying women is the thing we lost in gaming over the years, nor do i think this is what we need to use the medium of video games for, but i think it’s one of these signs that games nowadays need to be very presentable for a large audience and e.g. a quest where you need to actually program a sex robot that you can also actually *have sex with* is way less imaginable in a game today, than it was in 2011.

this is not the only reason the game sucks absolute ass, but compare dragon age 1 and 2 to dragon age inquisition. dragon age games lived off of this weird level of chaos, incredibly humorous questlines, sidequests where you visit the brothel, have to strip naked with your friends or talk a bunch of hostile werewolves into being your friends and chatting with an oak tree that only spoke in riddles. i personally think the first two games had a certain charm to them, because that made them so incredibly unique. and dragon age inquisition tried so hard to be sanitized and marketable - they added crafting and grinding and chunks of open world and every other mechanic imagineable that was popular at the time, and they removed all the stuff that made the games so loveable in the first place - the game takes itself incredibly serious, has no real, memorable quests that are funny or messy and has more of a marvel approach to humor than the weird, niche, incredibly dirty humor the first two games had and it really shows

what im saying is. i hate you, super-sanitized AAA-titles, i hate you, age-appropriate marvel humor, i hate you “every mechanic has to make sense” game design approach, i hate you, shallow quippy dialogue, i hate you, crafting systems, i hate you, lack of negative reactions to player actions, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you