#i feel like switching over helped me try something new and experiment with stuff

[villiun]

Wanted to draw the sad fella again

Extras :D

I switched from procreate initially and did the rest on clip studio (which I haven't touched in ages but it felt so great to mess around with it again).

Oh, and this is Mason, an oc made for @blackkatdraws / @blackkatdraws2 insert event!

[cq-studios]

Wake up. Missing Link was never cancelled. This last month was all just a bad dream.

It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't-

[protectingtulpas]

Considering getting into tulpamancy, any advice you think doesn't get mentioned nearly as much as it should?

Hmmm this is a good question, stuff that isn't talked about a lot.... I can think of a few things, actually!

Here's some certified random tulpamancy advice from my own wisdom lmao

🔥 parrotnoia is almost completely counterable (especially for our "logical" brain) by asking your tulpa a follow-up to whatever response they gave. if they respond with anything near legible and sensible then you should treat it like it's a real response, even if you're not sure! You'll build up an understanding of what's your thoughts and what're your tulpa's eventually, and once you do, you'll be able to trust that second response. Sometimes I even have a problem with this from my side so like it's not just a host thing fr. If your brain just repeats the same or a similar thing over and over again though, it's probably just a repeating thought. We get those a lot cus of our adhd. (host wants me to say that if your tulpa is comfy with it and solid enough, you can ask them to reassure u that they're real. we do that a lot when they get paranoid)

🔥 self awareness isn't a lightswitch. There'll probably be a wide ocean between your tulpa's first signs of acting independently and them feeling like a fully solid person that's just as aware as you are. I was literally choosing where to move in wonderland within a day of starting forcing (i had an advantage cuz host had a form and wonderland ready for me lol, but some ppl like to go slower!) but it was months before it finally hit my host that the things I were saying by then was undeniably *me*. For them to realize, it actually took me diverging from their expectation by saying i wasn't too interested in hollow knight lmao. basically what I'm saying is there's a lot of in between so don't stress over black and white outcomes and such

🔥 It's way easier to start with partial possession first before learning how to fully switch. First time I used the body was just using the voice to sing and it was awesome, it's what a lot of newbies do to learn now

🔥 oh yeah if you're musically minded then MAKE A PLAYLIST FOR UR TULPA it'll help sooo much. Either start out with what you think they'll like and then let them curate it and add stuff later on, or turn it into a forcing exercise where you listen to different songs and try to feel if your tulpa is enjoying it or not, and add it to the playlist if it seems like they are! (If you're the kinda person that struggles with active forcing, putting on some appropriate bg music might help! keeps ur brain occupied and buzzing)

🔥 Unless they end up the same exact gender as you and a similar presentation, your tulpa is probably gonna have at least a bit of wonky gender feelings, and that's ok. they may end up being genderqueer in some way & they might not! It's their choice what label to use for themselves, not yours as the host.

🔥 Be prepared to split your budget at least a little bit if your tulpa ends up enjoying outerworld stuff a lot. Casey (a soulbond) and I like different types of fashion a ton, I like thrill rides and going to clubs and shows. We don't have a lot but we work it out so at least our most frequent fronters get to indulge a little sometimes - it's great if you can find something multiple ppl like

🔥 Your tulpa's sense of... mmm, let's say wisdom? Will be a bit different from yours. We're in a weird position - we're in a brain that's lived a whole biological life up to that point, with lots of experiences and instinctive patterns and understandings and shit built into us, cus that's just how the brain works. We also can look at the host's memories whenever we want, barring any outside issues. But at the same time we're also straight up *new,* thrown into the world without most of a childhood to grow up in (usually) or an entire life to build up a sense of self and figure ourselves out. We can see host's memories but they're not Ours, we didn't experience em. Y'know how teenagers are kinda weird and flip-floppy sometimes because they're still figuring themselves out? A lot of tulpas can be the same way, especially when we're new. They might go back and forth on basic opinions, struggle to understand topics you get already, sorta just miss things sometimes, or become super singleminded when they find something that gives them a sense of self. Basically just give your tulpa a wide range of things to do/try, and understand that we're pretty much speedrunning all the emotional + logical development that most hosts had their whole lives to work on.

✨ If anyone else has any other ideas go ahead and reblog + add stuff!!! ✨

[queenbeeibee]

Welcome to the Amazing Digital Circus!

a list of rp starter sentences from tadc ep: 1 - feel free to reblog and use, please switch pronouns as needed!

I'm here to show you the most jaw-dropping, heart stopping, mind-bending paraphernalia you've ever laid your eyes upon!

I can't wait to see what you've got cooking up for today!

W-w-wait? Huh, where am-?

Is this one of your NPCs or is this a new sucker?

My my! It appears a new human has entered this realm!

I'm not doing that again.

Just keep grabbing at it. 

Everything's gonna be okay, new stuff.

What the **** is going on?!

The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages.

You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders where anything can happen!

Well, don't freak out about it or anything.

Welcome to your new home, and your new body.

We've been stuck here for years.

[ ] over there's supposedly been here the longest.

Did someone say something about an insect collection?

This is a dream, and I should just play along until I wake up, right!?

Whatever you say, kid.

I'd like to give our brand new member a tour of the circus grounds first. Off we go!

Night, day, it's all okay!

We... don't venture out into the void. Not even [ ] know(s) what's out there.

We stay right here, where I can keep my hundreds of all seeing eyes on you!

Let's get outta here before the moon gets frisky!

...Why are you like this..?

If there was a way to leave, I'm pretty sure we'd have all left by now.

You're probably just experiencing DIGITAL HALLUCINATIONS!

Uh.. Oh, God! Why can't I remember my NAME?!

One of the few things I don't have control over are your minds.

You're right, terrible. Let's try that again!

We should have a brand-new adventure for our new member, [ ]!

Do you like adventure? Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain? Suffering? Agony? Death? Disease? Death? Angel food cake?

The entire circus tent will be infested with [ ], and you gotta catch 'em all!

Why do these humanoid hash browns do this?

Now good luck, and have fun, my little superstars!

They're just something fun to do to, you know, prevent us from going insane. 

Oh no, they killed [ ]... Anyway, you guys wanna go get something to eat?

But wait, wouldn't that more likely mean the exit does exist?

It could also mean you just have a jump-start on losing your mind.

Heh, (s)he still thinks this is a dream.

Uh, why are you looking at me like that?

I'm fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people.

Do you think pairing them up together is a good idea?

Come on, ladies, let's go harass the clown.

Thank goodness this is all a dream, right, [ ]?

Don't worry, Dollface, I've got a key to his room.

By the way, I may have left something in your room today, so let me know if you find it.

It could be a completely unrelated question. You'll never know until it's too late.

Oh, [ ]'s been abstracted. That, that's okay.

It might be that terrible thing I was talking about earlier when you reach your breaking point!

I know we didn't always get along, like when you called me out for fake laughing at your jokes.

I swear, I really did think they were funny, I was just having a bit of a bad day!

I don't know what I'm looking at here.

Oh, yeah, thank you for the recap. ...Boy, we're not very good at this, are we?

Oh, (s)he's doing greeeat. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen her/him this happy before.

Hello? [ ]? That was your name, right?

Hey, look, I'm, I didn't mean to leave you behind like that, I just, I didn't know what to do.

Hello? [ ]? We have a bit of an issue here!

Huh, what form of mass dares presume presence in the nest of the Queen!?

You know, you could have asked for my consent before forcing me to see something so completely and utterly disgusting.

Oh look, there's [ ]. Hi, [ ]!

Kinda rude, [ ]. Now I don't wanna help you.

Yet, you're still watching it!

You didn't experience a game show in there, did you?

Ladies first. No wait, why would I say that?

Wait, [ ] not even here? Wasn't this whole thing for her/him!?

Be quiet. I can't hear the escalator.

Oh, [ ], you always know how to make me say this exact sentence.

[ ] abstracted? Why didn't anybody tell me?

I mean, no offense, [ ], but I always thought you would be next.

So, I guess the adventure's over.

Made with all the love I'm legally allowed to give.

Since when are you an expert on the digital world?

[hivemuthur]

You’re actually wild. Like the first fic you posted on AO3 was in December and since then you have 33 fics up?? You’re insane! And most of them being Viktor/Reader?? You’re feeding Viktor Fucker Nation.

I have some questions for the ask thing! 10 and 14. And then I’m curious about stuff related to the questions 12/13 - like what your writing history is, what kinds of stuff did you write pre Arcane, did you write fanfic before, etc?

I’m curious about how you like writing /reader? I know the first couple things you posted were OCs with Joe and Renly. But OC stuff doesn’t get as much attention as /reader - is that why you switched over to that kinda stuff? Sometimes I don’t love second person POV and it took me a bit to get used to so I’m curious as to your thoughts.

You are so right, insane is what I am :v I just checked my AO3 and it says I wrote 270K words (after subtracting the doubled ones). Lol I need help I think.

Honesty being fed by requests makes it so much easier to write. I was actually very nervous at the beginning (and still am when I deviate from the subject because I get struck by a severe case of brain death in the middle), but it only helped me to formulate my thoughts better. I had no idea how much power is in prompting. And the ask game:

10. Is there a character or ship you'd love to write for, but haven't yet?

14. What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

Interactions, like, beyond anything. Comments, asks, anything that people want to say to me. I was on the reading side for a long time and rarely brought myself to commenting because of some weird shame and this fear that I might be disturbing the author. Now I’m beating my chest and coming back to all those fics I loved and commenting, because finally, FINALLY I know how it feels when the void answers and I never ever want to lose this feeling and I want to give it back to the authors I love. Once, I received an art for my fic and it made me stop in the middle of the street and miss my tram, legit tears in my eyes. People saying that they’ve read something of mine and they got back to writing. I mean, it just feels so good I’m almost ok with the fact that Viktor is fictional :’)

12/13. First fandom/Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing?

Arcane is the first one I’m writing for in terms of fanfiction! And background hmm… not for the works that contain plot I would say? I write a lot for TTRPGs so I’m familiar with plot mechanics, pacing and character creations. I wrote my own tabletop game some time ago (like 2 years?). But it’s very pagan so never published it, Slavic mythology focused :v I used to write film reviews and music reviews during my uni times. But most of my writing before this was character creation for tabletop games. I also write down a lot from the books I like, I read quite a lot.

And regarding Reader/ or 2nd person POV: in the beginning I felt STUPID writing it, I have no idea why, despite the fact that I actually enjoy them as a reader myself (now I think I have no preference, I just like good stories). And because I’m a classified masochist I HAD TO TRY. So I went slow and rewrote the story from 3rd person to 2nd person POV at first. Then I wrote first Reader one-shot and now it feels natural. Same deal with present tense - completely alien at first, until I HAD TO because my sorry ass wanted coherent flashbacks. So I forced myself to learn and now I prefer it, adds to the urgency and reinforces the feeling of starvation when I’m writing sex :v

Hihi it feels so funny to know you’ve been there reading my shit from the beginning in the corners of AO3, like kicking my feet, twirling my hair funny, thank you 🖤

ask game

[unkat]

chilaios medical au idea i have been bouncing in my head (will not be written until after my current one is done)

i am thinking of a like firefighter/paramedic story for these guys. where laios is a new shift commander/chief at a small middle of nowhere station and chilchuck is a medic from a big city who keeps getting reassigned because he is trying to recruit for a union and the company is trying to make his job unworkable/find a reason to let him go.

laios was promoted because of his work ethic and ability to teach other people about the ins and outs of emergency medicine, not because he wanted to be in charge. he is too new and disinterested in the company politics to throw him under the bus for other people, and by the time someone explicitly says he needs to fire him, he has gotten attached.

"he's reliable, does good work, and catches things nobody else here would have. i know he cussed out the family trying to get into the rig, but he had already told them no and they should be grateful he saved their daughter instead of filing a complaint! even if i were to discipline, he deserves a verbal warning and not dismissal. You were not there, and i am his direct superior."

(wins the argument and walks away trying not to hyperventilate)

also falin is a surgeon and marcille is a research fellow who abandoned her big-city super-focused projects to come out into the country and work with subpar equipment and an incompetent assistant. im not thinking like full rural hospital here, but closeish to it. could be an academic satellite hospital and she switched from like gene therapy trials to studying exposures/population/histology stuff.

shifting the touden hyperfixation from monsters->medical fascination i think would still get across the same vibes. falin is very nice and pleasant but she treats everyone nicely and pleasantly without actually empathizing with them. shes one of those surgeons who went to shadow a heart transplant in college and cried because it was so beautiful and then got a bunch of scholarships plus student loans for med school.

laios hunts and has a big appreciation for the lives of things he kills and butchering/using everything he can. then it translates to him being fascinated by the human body as an object more than as a being that is different and special from other animals that he is a part of. he is a fantastic emergency responder because of this- people are a pile of flesh that is broken somewhere, and he wants to figure out why. (this is something that I'm like. not sure if it is okay for me to include because it can be squicky/triggering. but i feel like when I'm unsure if I'm going too far that is when i am reaching the line i want to?)

the touden siblings still go hiking and mudding and spend their time off in the woods (marcille wears white shorts and sandels on a hike leaving laios to be very explicit and offering clothes to chilchuck when he offers him to join. chilchuck borrows his shirt and it is way too big, but he keeps it for a while.)

chilchuck is extra divorced. he facetimes with the girls a couple of times a week and gets them on rotating holidays. sometimes ex-mrs. tims invites him over for dinner because she feels sorry for him and her new boyfriend is also there. it's awkward but they both know he's harmless, just annoying and closed off. he smokes but has tried to quit 7-8 times. started when he was an emt and couldn't shake it because it helped him destress. he only knows how to drive well enough to pass his vehicle license renewals and still doesn't know what the buttons in his car do. the ac has been "broken" for a week before a station mechanic pushes the button to turn it back on (they should put a subway around here, stupid cars).

laios respects his experience and history of being at a constantly busy station that saw a variety of crazy shit. chilchuck initially resents him for being so out of touch, but grows to respect his leadership abilities. laios also always follows up on cases at the hospital to figure out the outcome and reflect on best practices.

he is the first person to get chilchuck to actually debrief after a shitty call and chil cries and never wants to talk about it again. but its like a seal in a dam has been breached, and opens up when they are cuddling on the couch. they spend more time off shift with each other. chilchuck crashes on laios' couch and initially feels like he needs excuses to do it until laios says he really likes talking with him and having him there. he tells him about the company's EAP coverage and that he encourages everyone to take advantage of it.

in the end, they hit that threshold of basically living together, and one of them would need to change their station (superior/employee romance) after they go from making out off shift in secret to seriously considering having laios meet his daughters in person. (they already think they're married because laios is always there when they call now)

[whumpwright]

Howdy, first time writing stuff like this publicly, so I’m gonna speed right through so as to not cause myself inner turmoil.

Just an idea on writing psychological abuse: matching the responses to the character

Yes, I am using myself and my siblings as an example here.

Now, I personally have been kicked out 3 times by the same person AKA my old man. And I’m still living with the dude half time because court order. But I’ve learned some knowledge over the situation now, so there’s a bright side to everything, eh?

Regardless, few facts (remember, based off of personal experience, I can’t help outside of that):

When the Whumper in this situation is drunk, there’s a possibility they’ll constantly be contradicting themself or forgetting things they said almost instantly, switching up, etc. This does not happen for all people ‼️‼️ Some Whumpers might be different

Each whumpee is different. I wasn’t the only one removed from residence, my younger brother was as well. I faced the situation rather too calmly for what it should have been and my brother attempted to fight our father with a metal bat

Adding onto that, the process of psychological whump is different for everyone. And yes, all these example with be based off how me and my siblings reacted.

Some might be overly angry about the whole thing. They’ve maybe been lied to and manipulated for a long time and they’re pissed. They want to relieve the anger. They may retaliate with mocking or screaming matches or even physical disputes. It’s easy to affect the way they act and manipulate them again

Another whumpee might be overly distraught by the whole thing. They might just be a bystander! But golly, that doesn’t stop them from being absolutely messed up. To see someone they care too deeply about cause potential harm to someone else they care about is too much. They may stay silent. They might try and shield the eyes of another party. They may try and change the mind of whumper, desperate for things to be fixed. They might sob their eyes out. They might scream at the top of their lungs, wanting to fix this, but not wanting anyone to get into trouble.

Or maybe your whumpee is almost completely fine. They’re emotionally numb to the whole encounter. Maybe they were playing clown tricks not a minute ago. But they’re being hurt mentally and they know. They don’t care enough. They just leave calmly and do what they’ve been told to do.

Your whumpees shouldn’t all act the same. They need character. They need a personalized reaction to the situation. Have they seen this before? Have they been in this situation before? Are they new to this? How does that affect their way of acting?

What do your Whumpers say to manipulate the whumpee?

Maybe one whumpee is showered in praise. A golden child. They’re such a kind soul, who’s being tainted like sallowing newspapers. Maybe they pull away from everyone else that they were close to. They’re more aggressive to others, more defensive, more secretive. They want- no, NEED this praise

Maybe your whumpee is a scapegoat. Something to be cast aside. A copy of a past whumpee. So naive and hopeless. They want what the other has, they want better, they’ll do anything to prove they’re better. And then there comes a moment they know it’s hopeless.

Most people write long dramatic speeches or yelling matches where the whumpee realizes it’s hopeless. They need it explained to them. When all it takes is one sentence. You know what my father said about me, when he assumed me to have already fled? That I wasn’t listening.

“She’s like her mother. She’ll come crawling back later.”

That’s all it takes. One small sentence and you know. It’s hopeless. To be compared to another who you look up to, but they’re compared to absolute garbage.

So do it. Break them. Make them feel hopeless. Make them know that from now on, there’s no going back in your mind. Those words won’t leave.

[akweia]

Nintendo Switch Games That Changed My Brain Chemistry

(A Love Letter to Some Special Video Games)

I call myself a cozy gamer. And while I still think that's true, I have played several games, where my playthrough experience was less than cozy and nothing short of a tear filled and/or emotional experience.

Which may seem a bit of a silly thing to say about a game. But, at essence, video games can be art that really touches people and teaches them something they didn't know before. Or resonate with parts of our hearts that even the jadedness of the internet can't wear away.

Or something that make us laugh, have fun when times are truly hard.

I always wondered what the best medium would be to express how I felt about games like that! (And I think a small Tumblr is just the place.)

So without further ado, in no particular order Nintendo Switch/ Video Games that changed my brain chemistry (I love all of these dearly)

and some light spoilers. None of these are new releases though, and I know most of these are pretty well known, so that should be ok.

Night In The Woods; Developed by Infinite Fall and Secret Lab, published By Finjii

Meet Mae, a black cat (aka trash mammal) moving back home after a mysteriously and intentionally vaguely described negative experience at college. But Like a lot of folks moving back home after a long while, nothing seems to be the same and yet so much is (like trying to fit into an old sweater), and Mae is haunted by mysterious forces both internal and external. Anyway. Is that a cult in the woods or is just your imagination? Why would you worry about that when you can build a trash animatronic with your old buddy Greg! ?

I love this game so much. It definitely plays kind of like a visual novel, but with aspects of a mystery adventure game with some platforming! The main cast is extremely sympathetic and this game somehow manages the Olympian task of balancing humor, small town darkness, and a compelling murky mystery.

Favorite quote: "I'm a total trash mammal!"

2. Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood; Deconstructeam and Devolver Digital!

None of this is your fault. But all of it is your responsibility.

Fortuna can see into the future. And like almost every oracle of lore, that has gotten her into trouble. Banished by her coven for her dangerous predictions, and trapped within her immortality and solitude, Fortuna does the unthinkable. She solicits the help of a powerful demon to change her fate.

But what's fate, destiny, and the future in the hands of powerful immortal witches? Make your own decision. Pay the price.

God I loved this one. Also made me cry. Sisterhood, responsibility, fate and our own play into it, power. All the good stuff. I know its been out for years, but telling any more of the story even on this small blog STILL feels like a crime. That's how good it is. I stayed up all night to finish my first playthrough!

Favorite quote(s): already up there :D.

3. Cozy Grove!!! Spry Fox!

A game that probably doesn't need any introduction. I've seen this one all over social media and gaming articles. I love my ghost bears! A little lost spirit scout stumbles onto an island full of ghost bears that need a helping hand. It's so cozy and I love that there's DLC. There's so many takeaways to be had, since there's so many unique stories with each bear. I love how peaceful it is to play through each story. It's the perfect mix of busy work and emotion to me.

My favorite bear: Charlotte Pine (I don't care if its basic! I love her! )

4. Citizen Sleeper Jump Over the Age and Fellow Traveller

Hello cyberpunk, space age dystopia facing the perils of incredibly late stage capitalism.

I wish I could erase this from my brain and play it over again.

A sleeper is essentially and unfortunately a mechanical being forced into servitude from creation. People who want to work off a debt can have their simulated mind grafted into a robot "sleeper" body without their memories or emotions. You play one such being that is trying to break the hold of their corporate captors as you try to outpace your own programmed obsolescence.

What do we owe to each other? And how will you choose to live and be free? And if you aren't human.. what are you? And who gets to decide? How do you decide.

Its cyberpunk! It's high stakes! I love it. Not very actiony action for some, but for me I was glued to my screen. I think there's a lot of takeaways from this one, but it left me wondering what do we owe to each other? The sleeper meets so many people they can help, and truly what do they owe to a world that has quite literally enslaved them from birth? I also think it's interesting and compelling how one person can mean so much to a system. There's pretty much always someone out there who needs you, no matter how small you feel.

Favorite Quote: "Wake up Sleeper"

5. Naiad, Hi Warp!

"Hello little tear!"

You play as Naiad, a newly formed being made to flow through rivers. Taking care of creatures of all kinds. It is so beautifully animated and written. And a poignant piece on anthropogenic impact to the environment. Its somehow lighthearted and a little heart breaking. Do our small impacts and acts of good matter when the odds are against us? You gotta flow to find out. If nothing else I could love this for how pretty it is, but I loved it for how it made me feel too!

See you later little tear!

Favorite quote above!

It was so nice being able to write about all these wonderful games! I think I'll keep posting things like this.

[blueskittlesart]

Question abt drawing: been trying to attempt learning how to draw forever but I always have trouble getting over the obstacle of having to learn/study things like anatomy and shading, which then causes me to stop drawing and have a harder time picking it back up. I know it's important for improving your art and yourself as an artist but I can't help but see it as tedious and overwhelming, especially the anatomy since it's more on the science side of things and science is not my thing lol. Do you have any advice on how to get over it or work thru it?

i think there's a couple facets to this question. firstly i'd recommend you consider what exactly your end goal is in learning how to draw: do you specifically want to be able to produce anatomically accurate figures and true-to-life shading, or do you just want to be able to make something for fun that looks good to you? one of the most helpful things I ever learned at art school was that accuracy doesn't matter if it looks good. 99% of my art isn't strictly anatomically accurate, and part of that is stylization, but even when i'm doing realistic figure drawings i like to lengthen limbs and exaggerate curves in order to make my drawings look better. So if your only real goal with art is to make something that looks good and enjoy the process, my first piece of advice would be to stop worrying so much about stuff like perfect accuracy! if you use references and keep pushing yourself, the skill and understanding you're looking for will come naturally with time. before I was ever classically trained, I got pretty far just by drawing my favorite characters in different poses and situations over and over again, and that experience laid the groundwork for when classical training did become available to me. Just because you're not necessarily doing serious figure studies doesn't mean you're not getting valuable practice--what it means is that you're having FUN while you're practicing, and having fun with your art is the most important thing!!!

Secondly, you mentioned anatomy being on the science side of things, which suggests to me that you may be looking in the wrong places when trying to do more serious anatomical study. if you look up 'anatomy' or anything similar on a web search engine, you're likely going to get a lot of very complex scientific illustrations. and while those aren't necessarily devoid of artistic value (I took a class all about scientific anatomy for artists last semester and it was GREAT) for a beginner who's just trying to learn how to make a body look like a body, they're not what you're looking for. what is going to be much more helpful for you are sites like line of action or quickposes. these sites are basically repositories of figure drawing images, and you can set them to automatically switch to a new image after a certain interval of time. if you really, desperately want to improve your anatomy specifically, what I recommend is going to one of these sites, setting it to the shortest interval possible, and trying to copy the pose as closely as you can before time is up. this might sound crazy, since the shortest interval is usually somewhere between 30-60 seconds, which obviously isn't enough to get much down. but what this will do is force you to look at how these models' bodies are constructed and translate it onto the page quickly and without overthinking it. be warned, your first maybe hundred of these are going to look like shit. but if you do this enough, you're eventually going to gain an intrinsic sense for 1. how a body works and 2. the easiest way for you personally to construct a body when drawing it. even without knowing the scientific names and anatomical rules, you're going to get a FEEL for how things work, which is much more important and useful to you as a character artist.

Finally, i think the most important thing to remember is that no art is bad art, even if you're not satisfied with the end product. when you're first starting out as an artist, you're going to make things that don't look right and you're going to be frustrated with yourself because of it. i vividly remember crying over a sketchbook at maybe age 11 or 12 because I was so upset i couldn't put exactly what was in my head on the page. Skill comes with time and practice and that is a frustrating fact of life, but no time spent doing something you enjoy and are passionate about is wasted. It might look bad now but you are laying the groundwork for your future success, and someday you're probably going to look back on your past work and say "I can't believe I thought this looked bad back then. for my age and my skill level i was doing AMAZING." And as previously mentioned, it's a lot less discouraging when something looks bad if you had fun making it, so try to have FUN with your art. draw things you enjoy and are passionate about and don't worry if it looks bad. focus on the experience, the skill will come in time. you've got this!!

[glamdringwlv]

Unchain my heart: Part 8. Hit the road Jack

Unchain my heart series. Logan Howlett x oc!fmale Summary: Mia Green has grown up in a lab, subjected to numerous experiments due to her status as a mutant. When she manages to escape, Charles Xavier takes her in at his mansion, giving her a new life and helping her regain her memories. However, the arrival of a new resident at the mansion threatens to destabilize everything she believed.

Warnings: angst. Violence, foul language, a mix of various canons, X-Men movies, X-Men animated series, X-men comics.

"You're kidding me."

Logan had frozen halfway to the car, watching as Mia dumped her bags onto the back seat. His own luggage dangled in his hand, as if the shock had left him unable to finish the task he'd started.

She turned, holding out her hand, motioning impatiently for him to give her the bag. That smirk of disbelief on his face grated on her nerves.

“You gonna give me the bag or keep laughing?”

Logan raised an eyebrow, wiping away the grin and handing her his stuff. She quickly shoved it in with hers, then hurried over to the driver’s seat. Logan still hadn’t moved, standing there with his arms crossed, towering over her as he watched her settle in.

“Logan, if you're coming along, get in the damn car already. Quit stalling.”

He shook his head, clearly still not believing what he was seeing, and finally made his way around to the passenger side. He slid in with a grunt, wincing as his legs cramped against the dashboard. After fumbling for the lever, he managed to shove the seat back, but the car gave an ominous creak that didn’t sound promising.

Mia sat there, hand halfway to the ignition, watching him with a raised eyebrow. She couldn’t deny that the situation had a strange humor to it, despite everything. She tried not to smile as he shifted around, visibly uncomfortable in the cramped seat.

“You’re gonna break it,” she said dryly.

Logan looked at her, utterly incredulous, as if she couldn’t see the absurdity of it all.

“Maybe if this thing wasn’t built like a damn coffee machine…”

“Hey, don’t diss my car.”

He stopped, surprised, and turned to face her, an eyebrow raised in disbelief.

“This thing? You call this a car?”

“Sorry it’s not some fancy sports car. A waitress’s pay doesn’t really cover that.”

“Waitress? Didn’t Charles set you up with something decent, like he did for everyone else at the mansion?”

Mia started the engine, putting one hand on the back of Logan’s seat to back up. He suddenly felt her proximity, a warmth that hit him like a punch in the gut. The close quarters of the car felt even tighter.

“I didn’t want the professor to buy me anything. I wanted something I earned. Something that was actually mine.”

“Yeah, but a Honda Odyssey?” Logan said with a slight smirk.

“I wanted space. I used to—was part of a big group. I didn’t want anyone left out.”

Logan’s gaze lingered on her a little too long, and it made her uneasy, like he was seeing right through her.

“Didn’t take you for the sentimental type.”

“We don’t know each other,” she replied tersely.

Logan sighed, crossing his arms as he looked out the window, as if trying to escape a tension pressing down on his chest like a weight. Mia didn’t need to read his mind to feel the frustration simmering beneath his surface. She held her posture, though.

The silence weighed on them. Neither of them was big on words, but the charged air between them seemed thick with unspoken questions. With a quick, jerky movement, Mia switched on the radio. The low strains of Johnny Cash’s voice filled the car, and the lyrics of "Hurt" seeped into the silence. She fought the sting in her eyes, blinking hard. Logan, without looking, raised an eyebrow, picking up on her reaction but not commenting.

When he couldn’t stand the silence anymore, he spoke up.

“You gonna tell me where we’re headed?”

She glanced at him for barely a second, her knuckles white on the steering wheel. Thoughts spun in her mind, a storm she couldn’t contain. “This is all I have left to control. If I share it, it’s over.” That single thought echoed, louder than the rest. Mia tried to take a deep breath, steadying herself, but still didn’t answer.

“Really? You’re just… not gonna say anything?” He leaned toward her, his presence filling the car until it felt even smaller. “So, we’re playing it that way?”

She turned, frowning, finding him closer than expected. Her whole body tensed, ready for a fight.

“You’ve gotta be kidding…”

“What’s—”

“You drag me out here, and you can’t even tell me what the hell your plan is?”

Mia’s irritation flared, somewhere inside knowing he was right. She didn’t feel comfortable with the situation either, but it hit her that she’d lose her mind if she were in Logan’s place. Not that he’d had much choice but to follow her, to avoid that familiar, searing pain that flared every time they separated.

“Look, none of this is my fault.”

“Yeah? I didn’t ask to be stuck in this mess either, trailing you like some damn dog,” he snapped, his voice thick with irritation.

Mia pressed her lips together, a thin line of frustration written across her face.

“I don’t trust you, okay?” she said, eyes locked on the road. Somewhere deep down, she knew it wasn’t true. But voicing it opened a wound she couldn’t ignore.

“Funny words, coming from someone who asked me for blind trust in the middle of a pretty sticky situation.”

She paused, momentarily confused, until the memory clicked. On that last mission, she’d asked him to trust her, and he had—without a second thought.

“This is different.”

“Sure it is, because back then, you were the one in control. I was just supposed to dive in without looking, hoping for the best.”

Anger surged through her. It frustrated her that he could read her so easily. She was the telepath, so how could he see right through her without even trying? She wanted to scream, to press the gas pedal and let the adrenaline drown out her fears and everything else. Just as she prepared to do so, an uncontainable pulse forced her to speak, words tumbling out before she could stop them.

“I can’t trust myself. I don’t even know if I’ll find the answers I need, and I can’t afford to share the one hope I’m clinging to.”

Her vision blurred, and she was grateful there weren’t any other cars nearby. She let one hand off the wheel to wipe her tears away, feeling exhausted to her core. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears, a warmth rising up her neck as nausea curled in her stomach. The confession felt like she’d driven the car to its limit and jumped out at top speed.

“Mia…”

“No,” she whispered, voice thick with pain and barely holding on. “I don’t need your pity. I know this isn’t fair to you, but I need this. I need to hold onto it myself.”

Logan felt that strange pulse toward her stir restlessly. He’d felt it twist before, that day on the frozen lake when he’d seen her suffering. Her pain wasn’t physical, but whatever stirred inside him wanted to stop it, to root out anything that could hurt her. He clenched his jaw, resisting, but as usual, something beyond his control took over.

“Alright.”

The pain vanished, replaced by pure surprise.

“What?”

“You’ll tell me when you realize I’m as deep in this as you are,” he muttered, shrugging. “Or when you figure out it’s not your fault, either.”

She didn’t answer, but she felt a strange sense of relief she couldn’t explain. She almost wanted to cry, unsure if it was from the weight of holding everything in or from the release she hadn’t expected. Her chest tightened, a lump forming in her throat, and her eyes blurred again. Silence wrapped around them, with Cash’s melancholy voice filling the car and calming the air between them.

They didn’t speak about the conversation for the rest of the drive. Instead, they argued over music volume or the A/C’s intensity. Logan was always hot and refused to roll up the window, though the wind whipped Mia’s hair around, making it hard for her to see the road.

“Great, so now we’re gonna die.”

“Speak for yourself.”

Darkness had swallowed the daylight by the time she felt her eyelids drooping, her muscles aching from the tension. Her back and shoulders were so stiff they throbbed, but she didn’t want Logan to notice. Not that she knew he was watching her every move. He could see how her shoulders hunched, how her posture slouched. She was blinking more often, yawning more than she’d care to admit. He watched her closely, drawn to her presence like a moth to a flame.

“You do know I can drive, right?” he finally said.

“You don’t know where we’re going.”

“Mia, you’re gonna pass out from exhaustion. This is ridiculous.”

She was so tired she couldn’t even think of a sharp retort, only managing a small shrug.

“I’m fine.”

But she wasn’t. She just wanted to rest, but she wouldn’t share their destination with him. She could keep control of the situation. She would. Her traitorous eyes caught sight of a sign for a service area just a few miles away. She fantasized about collapsing on a bed after grabbing something to eat, nearly sighing at the thought. But no—she had to keep going, push through everything weighing on her, or it’d swallow her whole.

if you die of exhaustion, there'll be nothing left to fix.

The beast’s poisonous voice echoed in her head again. She knew it had a plan, maybe waiting for her to wear herself down so it could take control. If she got too weak, she wouldn’t be able to hold it back. Maybe stopping for a couple of hours wasn't such a bad idea.

She turned off the highway, pulling into what looked like an old roadside diner. She sat there for a few more minutes, considering it.

“We really going in there?” Logan’s voice cut through her thoughts.

Mia stared at him a moment, too tired to answer right away. Logan noticed how exhausted she looked—not just tired, but completely worn out. Dark rings had formed under her eyes, giving her a nearly sickly appearance.

“Just for a bit,” she finally said. “I’ll grab a coffee, and we’ll keep going.”

He thought about insisting on taking over driving afterward, but he knew it’d be pointless.

“Yes, ma’am.” He shrugged.

They stepped out of the car and walked into the diner, where the few truckers and staff inside immediately went quiet. It wasn’t that anyone had been talking much, but they definitely felt like intruders. Mia felt the hairs on her neck stand up as a strange unease crept over her, but it faded when Logan’s hand pressed against her lower back, guiding her further inside. He leaned close and murmured near her ear.

“Nothing’s gonna happen. Got it?”

She turned just enough to meet his eyes, wondering exactly what he’d picked up on.

“I felt it too,” he whispered.

He gave a slow nod, moving to the counter to order. Mia sat down and watched him as he navigated the space, his presence drawing a few hard stares. Logan placed a couple of bills on the counter and waited for their order. She felt like she might fall asleep standing up, but the sight of a group of men gathering around him jolted her awake. Mia tensed up, her pulse quickening. She couldn’t hear what they were saying from that distance, but she knew immediately it wasn’t friendly. Even so, Logan just stood there, unaffected by their hostility.

Restless, she got up as the waitress placed their food in front of Logan. She moved through the circle of men surrounding him, standing beside him and keeping her eyes on the food. Taking a cup and plate, she murmured a quiet “thank you” to the waitress, noticing that now all attention had shifted to her. A surge of darkness stirred inside her, eager to break free. She fought to contain it, knowing she’d lose control completely if she let it out.

“If you don’t mind...” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

Logan stood close behind her, waiting for a path to clear. She realized then she might have to fight to keep her inner demons and the mutant beside her in check. She didn’t believe in God, but she briefly wished for some kind of divine help.

After a long, tense moment, the men stepped aside, watching them intently as they moved past. When they finally reached the table, Mia nearly slumped forward, too exhausted to even feel hungry.

“What the hell was that?” she muttered.

Logan shrugged and shoveled food into his mouth.

“You’re really gonna tell me that was just random?”

He looked at her as if he was about to say something scathing, then held back, settling on pointing his fork at her.

“I don’t ask about your past. How about you do the same?” he said, smirking slightly.

She knew he was right. But part of her felt guilty, like he owed her an explanation. She didn’t want her dragged into his problems. A small voice in the back of her mind reminded her that she’d done exactly that to him already. Sinking further into her seat, she let the caffeine work its way into her system.

They ate in silence, and Mia felt so worn out that she nearly drifted off while Logan finished his meal. She might’ve actually fallen asleep, because she was startled when she felt his hand gently shake her shoulder.

When she looked up, he was standing beside her, ready to go. She felt more disoriented than before—this stop had been a mistake. She stood up slowly and followed him to the door.

“You should let me—”

“I’m fine, just zoned out a bit. The coffee’ll kick in soon enough.”

“Total bull—”

“Hey, Wolverine! Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

Wolverine? Mia turned toward the voice, realizing the shout was directed at her traveling companion. Three large men stalked toward them from the far corner of the parking lot, their steps heavy with arrogance. One look was enough to take in their scars, sneers, and hostility. Logan’s shoulders tensed, and he muttered a curse under his breath as he took a step forward.

“I told you, we’re not looking for trouble.”

The tallest of the three barked out a laugh.

“Not looking for trouble? Why don’t you tell that to my brother, you piece of mutant trash? You left him in the hospital for weeks. Think we’d forget that?”

Mia watched Logan’s fists clench as he took a slow, deep breath, clearly holding back from escalating things. One of the men then shifted his attention to her, eyeing her up and down with disdain.

“And you? Another filthy mutant?”

The hatred in his voice chilled her. Mia tried to hold down the anger simmering inside her. She was so tired she could barely stand, but their insults, the mocking tone, and their sneers struck a dangerous chord within her. She fought to keep calm.

“We just want to leave,” she said, her voice shaking but firm.

The man sneered, letting out a dry laugh. The way he looked at her...it was that same look people gave her when they thought she didn’t belong, when they saw her as something less. Why…? Why did they treat them this way?

Without meaning to, she let her mind reach out to the men, hoping to disorient them just enough to make them step back. But she was too drained, and her control slipped. Something dark, a primal rage within her, stirred, demanding more than just defense—it demanded retribution.

One of the men scoffed and muttered a slur, and then, with sudden, cruel speed, he drew a gun. Mia barely had time to react before the deafening crack of a gunshot shattered the air.

The world seemed to stop. The bullet struck Logan square in the head, and he collapsed, his body rigid and still. Blood began to pool on the asphalt. Mia’s vision blurred, and she felt something primal and uncontrollable rip through her, breaking free. All the anger she’d been bottling up, the humiliation, the feeling of being despised—it all exploded inside her like a volcanic rage.

A dark, malicious voice whispered through her consciousness, an instinct she didn’t recognize, demanding vengeance, seething at the thought of anyone daring to hurt Logan like this.

Barely aware of her own thoughts, she was consumed by a fury that drowned out everything else. She wanted to hurt them, to make them suffer as she suffered watching Logan fall. It was deeper than anger; it was a need to destroy.

The minds of the three men trembled under the weight of her power. She tried to hold back, to keep from unleashing that wrath, but the beast inside her—her darker side, which she’d tried so hard to control—was already loose and beyond her reach. One by one, the men stopped laughing. Their faces went pale, their eyes dull, and they slumped to the ground, empty shells, their minds shattered and vacant.

As they fell, Mia slowly came back to herself, as if waking from a nightmare. She looked at the lifeless figures on the ground, and the weight of her own fury hit her like a blow. Her breath grew ragged, and she could barely stop the tears from spilling over.

Almost staggering, she turned to Logan, whose wound had already started to heal, though he remained unconscious. Shaking, she lifted him with difficulty, her own body feeling fragile and weak. Getting him into the passenger seat took every bit of strength she had left. Her legs trembled, and her vision blurred, but she forced herself to keep moving. She glanced around to ensure no one had seen what happened. Despite the gunshot, no one had bothered to look out the diner’s windows. Dazed, she got in the car, speeding away from the scene.

Mia gripped the wheel tightly, the road ahead a dark and silent threat. Logan lay beside her, barely breathing, and she kept glancing over, checking to make sure he was still there, still alive. She felt her own body growing weaker; each passing second was a struggle to stay awake.

The need to protect him, to protect them both, surged through her with each mile. The road blurred before her tired eyes, and, almost by instinct, she veered off onto a barely visible side path, a dirt road leading into the shadows of a small forest. She knew they’d be safe here, at least for a while.

As she cut the engine, exhaustion washed over her, crashing into her like a wave. But the beast inside her hadn’t let go just yet. That dark, primal presence that had surfaced during the fight wasn’t fueled by hatred or violence anymore; instead, it whispered to her, like an ancient, commanding voice, urging her not to give in, not to let exhaustion win. It demanded that she fulfill her duty to protect them.

Almost unconsciously, her trembling hands reached out, grabbing Logan with a strength that seemed impossible for her weary body. She felt her darker side pushing her forward, feeding her with energy that had long since drained, a raw, instinctual force filling her muscles and guiding her every move.

She lowered the back seats, folding them down to create space where she could lay him out, her hands moving with nothing but pure determination. Each effort hurt, each second she felt herself slipping further from consciousness, but the beast remained, fueling her. It whispered in her mind, reminding her she couldn’t fail.

Finally, with a strength that left her arms trembling, she managed to push Logan onto the makeshift space in the back. His breathing was shallow, and a chill crawled down her spine seeing him this vulnerable. The instinct to protect him overwhelmed her, and she felt a tightness in her chest as she covered him with a blanket, something she’d once kept in the car for things as simple as picnics. Logan looked almost peaceful, as if none of the fury or danger that usually followed him could reach him here.

When she finished, the beast in her mind seemed to relax, as if its purpose had been fulfilled. She felt its presence withdraw slowly, sinking back into the depths of her consciousness, taking with it the strength it had loaned her. Now that they were safe, that dark, powerful, strangely protective voice faded, allowing her to rest. Its weight lifted, leaving her feeling empty and vulnerable.

As it receded, Mía felt the last traces of energy leaving her body. With one final look at Logan, the relief of knowing they were both safe washed over her, a bittersweet comfort. And in that last moment, as the adrenaline finally drained away, darkness overtook her completely. With a soft thud, she collapsed over him, unable to stop herself.

Later, Logan’s eyes blinked open slowly, a dull pain throbbing through his head that blurred everything around him for a moment. The scent of damp earth and wet leaves surrounded him, the echo of those men’s voices lingering in his mind like shattered fragments. He couldn’t recall much of what happened, only the surge of rage when they’d insulted Mía, and then… blankness, followed by this quiet awakening.

The first thing he felt was the warmth of something resting on him. He glanced down, finding her slumped over his chest, her breathing so soft it barely stirred her body. Seeing her like this jolted him at first, fearing something might have happened to her, but he relaxed as he felt the steady rhythm of her breath.

As his senses returned, the pieces began to fall into place. She’d gotten him out of there. Mía, exhausted and practically dragging herself, had found a way to pull them both out of danger and bring them to safety. The realization hit him with an unexpected intensity, spreading slowly, a dense warmth rising in his chest. He knew how hard she’d fought just to stay on her feet even before the fight, and now, seeing her so worn out but safe by his side, filled him with a blend of gratitude and awe he couldn’t easily explain.

That warmth in his chest grew, unsettling him and somehow comforting him at the same time. He wasn’t used to feelings like this, especially when they came from such a deep, selfless connection. But there was something about the way she, with her own scars and struggles, had managed to protect him that left him completely disarmed. What kind of strength had driven her to carry them both when he himself had been helpless? His mind circled back to that question again and again.

Gently, he shifted his body, sliding her to his side so she could rest more comfortably, making sure her head lay softly. He noticed her breathing remained steady, and in the quiet, that constant rhythm brought him a strange calm. She was alright. She’d done what she’d set out to do, she’d protected him, and that stirred something rare and powerful within him.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed a faint shiver running through Mía. He watched her for a few seconds, uncertain, and saw that her skin was cold, her lips slightly pale. Although he’d positioned her close to him, her body was still reacting to the exhaustion, and the damp, chilly forest air only made things worse.

Without overthinking it, he leaned down and wrapped his arms around her carefully, pulling her close to his chest. The contact let him feel her breathing, faint but steady, and the soft beat of her heart, marking a rhythm that brought him some relief. Feeling his warmth, Mía unconsciously curled into him, seeking his heat, and he shifted to make sure they were both sheltered as best as possible.

As the minutes passed, something in him began to change. Her heartbeat was a quiet melody that blended with the sound of her breathing, and the air around them held her scent, a subtle but intoxicating mix of electricity and earth, something that seemed so uniquely her. Somehow, that scent and the steady rise and fall of her chest wrapped around him, easing the confusion and pain still weighing on his mind.

Gradually, his eyelids grew heavy, and he realized his own senses were beginning to give in. He tightened his hold slightly, enveloping her with his body, making sure she was safe, that the cold couldn’t reach her. That strange warmth from before returned, but this time he welcomed it, letting the comfort it brought wash over him.

The silence of the forest surrounded them, but to him, the only sound that mattered was Mía’s heartbeat, strong and near. For the first time in a long time, he let himself close his eyes without fighting the dark thoughts, allowing that warmth to lull him. He barely noticed when sleep finally took hold, with Mía safe in his arm

[darlingpoppet]

I know it’s probably silly that I’m making a post talking about something I wish I was doing instead of just making posts where I’m actually doing it… but I did kind of want to discuss it and get it off my chest first: something I’ve noticed about myself over the past few years is that I don’t really shitpost or write silly little headcanons/scenarios or mini metas or just express my own personal thoughts & feelings about my ships like I used to do… and idk if that’s because all my words & spoons are being used up for writing, or because I feel self-conscious about it in this current, often aggressive social media landscape in a way I know I didn’t used to be, or if it’s a depression thing, or if it’s maybe some combination thereof plus some other secret things I can’t think of atm.

But it’s weird to think that I used to always get a fairly decent amount of interaction on Twitter pre X days… and even though I KNEW consciously that my posts were subsequently being suppressed along with everyone else who wasn’t paying up, and that the less I posted the more I would get buried, I thought, “oh maybe no one cares about what I have to say anymore lol” and gradually stopped yapping. It also probably didn’t help that I switched fandoms in 2022, around the same time the elon stuff was happening, so I couldn’t really build up a new community of friends before all the changes scattered us to the winds. Whenever I posted about Patrochilles or Hades or whatever it was always crickets haha. So that’s why I just… sort of weaned myself off ever expressing myself freely on my own account, even if I’m now using mostly tumblr and bsky for my social media these days.

And like… that’s just so dumb! Thats dumb right?? Because I’ve still managed to make plenty of lovely friends in the years since and when I do post here on tumblr or on bsky I actually DO get plenty of interaction still, and I would probably get even more (that is to say, I would make even more friends) if I locked the fuck in and got even weirder and more wonderful with it yk! Sometimes it feels difficult navigating greek mythology/patrochilles/hades/etc fandom because people have a lot of strong opinions about things and sometimes I worry that someone is going to throw tomatoes at me and kill me with hammers and hate my guts just because I’m pro-TSOA or pro-Achilles or a pza shipper or any other thing I’ve seen people expressing hate toward on their accounts… and that’s SO!!! DUMB!!!!! Why should I worry about what people will think of me for liking a thing?! LOVING a thing, even?? I’ll happily tag content and be understanding if people have to filter certain things they’re not into, but still! Unlearn shame, emica! Unlearn it!!!!

I love when people on tumblr use their blog like a fandom diary, just the day-to-day experience or for sharing an interesting tid-bit of information they just learned, or generally for whatever silly thoughts about the blorbos come to mind. And I love posts where someone explains why they think a thing they like ROCKS!! And that’s the kind of presence I want to have too. I feel like it IS the sort of presence I used to have.

So just for the record, I think I’m going to start trying to do that more. And even if ultimately no one cares, at least I’ll be having fun.

[sleepyytoken]

heeeeeey, since you feel like dissecting lyrics I have a request! what do you think about Nazareth? i tried to dissect it just yesterday and got deeply confused - specifically about who Vessel sings he kills?? some people speculate it's Eden but later there is the line "they won't be missing you" which could mean that the person he is killing is known to be bad for him and Eden is supposed to be the good one?? idk I'm just confused at this point 😅😅

OKAY I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ON THIS SO. I’m gonna go ahead and warn anyone reading this, cause I personally think Nazareth and Two in general has to do with drug usage.

I'll be talking about Nazareth AND Jericho in this post. I do have stuff for Calcutta, but this post is already gonna be pretty long ^^'

So.. CW/TW for addiction/drug usage/abuse below the cut.

Okay, so. I'd like to preface this by saying I've never been a drug addict, but unfortunately I grew up with addict parents and have been on the recieving side of abuse. So yes, my vision here might be a tad skewed, and obviously you are free to disagree with me (general you, not just OP lol).

But I do think Nazareth is about drug usage, specifically heroin, and the abuse (to yourself and the people you love) that comes with it. ("Let's show her what a hollow point does to a naked body, let's fuck her up.") And I know a hollow point is also a type of bullet, that's not lost on me! I'll talk about that farther down.

I saw it mentioned briefly in the reddit somewhere, and I hated it at first. I hated the theory that it was heroin/abuse due to my own triggers. But listening to it closer, watching the lyrics roll across the screen, I think Vessel might be talking about killing a part of himself he no longer wants around. I know it says

"Let's load the gun

Make her eat the tape in the bathroom mirror

See if she can guess what

A hollow point does to a naked body

Let's fuck her up"

So he's referring to someone else. Maybe he's referring to Sleep/Eden, whichever you prefer. I think he's showing Sleep/Eden the destruction he has caused to himself, trying to show her that there is no coming back from who he is, or what he's done. Be it drug usage or wrath, seeing as wrath is mentioned quite a few times throughout the song. ("I'll see you when the wrath comes.")

Now let's talk about the hollow point. Hollow point needle or a bullet? How about both?

I think Nazareth is about showing Sleep/Eden what/who he is, and how he does not like that part of himself. I think he's trying to show Sleep that he thinks he can't change, and that Sleep is fighting against that. She wants more for him. I think, in the end, when Vessel is singing "Let's load the gun, I won't be missing you," He is no longer talking about Sleep/Eden, but himself. I think he's talking about killing a part of himself and that he won't miss that part.

Because if we go listen to Jericho, it feels like the aftermath.

"Tread ancient water salt,

Like I sink down like precious stones"

I think he's talking about finally sinking into Sleep and her religion, what she has to offer. Finally giving himself over to something new.

"You taste like new flesh." as a reference for why I think the above.

"Something in the way you lay, enough to make the dead switch graves."

I think the above lyrics talk about how Sleep was enough to make him switch. To make him want to be better. To be clear, I think Vessel always had that want/desire to be better, because in my own experience, someone cannot be helped unless they want it. And I think that's why Sleep stuck with him, even through Nazareth, and before, during Calcutta. She knew he wanted to be better. And she didn't want to give up on him.

We see Sleep leave, in Jericho.

"You take your leave,

you taste like new flesh (x3)

Say my name again (x2)

My hands are not worthy."

Vessel still struggles with the idea that he deserves to be saved, here, but, I think he also knows that if he wants to see Sleep again, he has to continue his path of recovery and start healing, and he does this by saying

"Til I wake, I dine on old encounters)

And I'm assuming he means old encounters with Sleep. His memories of Sleep and their previous encounters are enough to keep him going until he can see her again.

So that's both Nazareth and Jericho in this post. Apologies that it's so long but I hope it gave you a new perspective, and it's totally okay if you don't agree with this!

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

this week was a bit of a flop, workwise, at only a little over 13 hours... a few reasons for this i think, chief among them being that on monday i had stayed up way too late and needed to be up early to help my mom with some medical stuff which took much longer than i expected (more fool me) and also by the end of which i realized my brain was like Well And Truly Fried for anything remotely productive so i sort of drifted much of the day away in a haze. i also had a very annoying on and off stomachache for several days which was distracting! but ultimately it's fine... and my secondary gig finally got me my 1099 so this week i can do my taxes which will either ruin my life or (more likely) remove a big source of stress (that somehow i will wind up owing like twelve times what the online tax calculators for freelance tell me i will owe). i did not pay my quarterly taxes last year for various reasons so i will be a bit sad to stop seeing such an adult-looking number in my checking account lmao. but c'est la vie. this week i am once again going to aim for 25, once again going to mentally set it as a max with a little spillover potential unless i wind up really needing more (i have a new student starting this week and another resuming after break... a little nervous about that but c'est la vie some more!).

i am also going to try out planning to have a couple days where i intend to focus primarily on work stuff and then other days where i do a bit of or no work... i dunno in my head i really idealize the concept of like the perfect daily routine where i get my work hours in and then spend the rest of my time as i wish and i think if my job were a little less weird timing wise that might be doable for me but currently trying to aim for that i feel like i just have no time for me, which is objectively completely untrue based on my best friend my time-tracking app. so i am thinking about the concepts of like switch cost and ohhhh what's that one cal newport likes... batch processing! not exactly that but conceptually similar... anyway the thing is that i know i can be quite productive if i'm just like "i'm not gonna really try to get much done today other than work and the stuff i really HAVE to do [working out, any social plans, free store, etc]." and i also know that i'm not great at spending my allotted free time particularly well if that free time is like, one hour between finishing my workout after my morning work time and then going off to a session. so i am going to experiment a bit with trying out a couple days where i'm like free from the responsibility of planning things to do for myself other than job stuff and daily habits, and then seeing if i feel like i have more Me Time if that me time is planned to be in longer stretches on fewer days rather than either smushed into the middle of the day or night-time or time i am taking but refusing to acknowledge i am taking because i feel like i should be doing something else. lol.

the week was also a flop workout-wise in that i only got 2 workouts in (stomach troubles partly but i admit not exclusively to blame) but they were the first two workouts of the program i want to do next and i liked them a lot, enough that i don't mind repeating them which i think i will do this week to try and see if i can get back on a proper schedule. my room had some bad days but is nice now and i think i have to really prioritize that because it makes such a difference to like... the way i feel literally from the moment i open my eyes in the morning. (i have thought this before and possibly written it in one of these posts before.) the kitchen... looks much better as of right now than it did for most of this week!

i finished one book i didn't like and one book i did. the person doing new music fridays at ONTD i think deleted??? and i didn't remember until like yesterday about metacritic which i guess is where i will keep up with albums to check out for now although it misses a lot... if anyone has any places they like for finding new albums let me know because i am famously in my albums era which has already frankly lasted longer than i thought it would. (do i have to start lurking r/popheads????) on tuesday we went to see a super weird gay german movie called freak orlando that did not make very much sense to me (or perhaps to anyone?) but had some great looks and vibes; on wednesday i saw sarah snook one-woman show dorian gray adaptation which mostly served to reaffirm that Yes i am in love with sarah snook and i would die for her the most adorable human ever to live and also such a tremendous performer that after watching a full length show of It's Just Her i was like, was succession actually just like a drop in the bucket of what she can do??? which is so crazy because on succession she gave one of the most incredible TV performances of my life; on saturday i walked to the park to hang a bit with a mom from my book club for her daughter's first birthday and saw a few white flowers blooming on the way home and then in the evening went out dancing with friends for someone's birthday till 3 in the morning. when s. was calling the after we bid the true night owls goodbye cab she said she wanted a snack so she'd send it to the 24/7 organic market roughly equidistant from our three apartments and i have to say that the organic grocery deli eel avocado role she convinced me to buy felt as i was eating it before bed truly life-changing. i love living in this city and all the people i know here!!! now to cozy up with my best friend tender is the night :)

[justalittlesolarpunk]

hi! i have been experiencing The Horrors lately (just general hopelessness about the state of the world and especially in regards to climate change) and i am just wondering - do you have any advice for incorporating climate action into one’s everyday life? i need to do something about this but the problem feels so big that i feel like i can’t, like i am drowning in it and i need to learn to swim

Hi my love, sorry it took me a while to respond, I’ve been quite tired!

So first off, the Horrors are reasonable, it’s a very sensible human response to the state of things around you and shows you have empathy and that you care. I say this because it’s all too easy to shame yourself for despair, but it’s natural that we fall into it sometimes.

In terms of doing climate action a little every day, there’s so much you can get your teeth into. For starters, there are personal choices, like giving up flying or meat and dairy if you can. Sure, these don’t add up to much, but they can really change how you feel and working with a smaller burden of guilt can be life-changing. Similarly making choices like switching your electricity and heating and getting an electric car (or even better, taking the train, bus, tram, your feet or a bus) can help you get into a more positive mindset as you feel like you are ‘doing your part’. Check if you have any savings or pensions invested in fossil fuels and switch them over. Even buying from zero waste shops can help shift your mood, even if it’s too small to shift the whole economy.

Once you’ve got all these little changes out of the way, it’s time to think systemic. Most places will have a local activist group you can join, which usually only involves a commitment to weekly meetings - can you attend XR, A22, Greenpeace or Friends of The Earth gatherings in your neighbourhood? These will usually allow you to start attending protests and keying into wider campaign networks.

Something else you can do is bring the subject up with people in your life, to contribute to a wider cultural shift where climate conversations are normalised, and you can agitate for changes at your job or university/school that will bring the institution’s emissions down.

Try to consume a more balanced media diet, seeking out what is going right in the world as well as what is going wrong. Sites like Positive News and the Good News Network are helpful for this. Supernova is a purely positive social media app if you’re looking for a more uplifting scrolling experience.

But much more important is to get outside and to make real-life community. If there’s a conservation or gardening volunteer group in your area I’d highly recommend getting involved with it - nothing has helped me as much as getting my hands in the dirt, doing meaningful work to grow food to feed my neighbours. A lot of our climate anxiety stems from fear that we won’t be able to feed ourselves or that natural beauty will vanish, so connecting with crops or landscapes is a great way to soothe some of that. Building relationships with neighbours or affinity groups (such as LGBT, POC or disabled organisations) can help you feel part of a more resilient network of people who can help each other out in a crisis. Plus if you get to plant trees regularly I guarantee that will help you feel like you’re contributing.

Solarpunk content is great for improving your outlook too - whether it’s optimistic sci-fi, utopian cityscapes or anarchist politics, it all uplifts you and reminds you of what’s possible. Check out people’s stories of what they’re doing to make the world a little better to remind yourself you’re not in it alone.

If you can afford to, a regular donation to groups working to reforest, re-wet peatland, re-seed mangroves or combat soil erosion is a pretty tangible way to fight the climate crisis. Be sure to do all the obvious stuff like voting and engaging with other political pathways too.

A fun weekend’s activity could be seedbombing with friends or building a bee house - there’s lots you can do that’s crafty or creative that also helps your local environment, even if it’s just growing food or pollinator friendly plants on your windowsill or letting your lawn rewild itself. Taking an attitude of grateful, affectionate kinship with all the plants and animals around you will aid in building a sense of connection with the ecosystem and reminding you that you’re part of a grand, resilient web of life.

Put together the emergency kit I detail in an earlier post, so you feel prepared for facing extreme weather and taking part in mutual aid. Teach yourself to forage or at the very least recognise the common plants in your area. This counteracts species blindness and makes you more considerate of the non-human.

You could even consider altering your career path, if you’re an adult, and re-training to work in the climate movement, though this will not be accessible for everyone. If you’re a younger person you could look into pursuing an educational path that will allow you to join the green sector.

If you can get some, therapy with an eco-informed professional can be hugely beneficial for channeling your very reasonable feelings of terror into meaningful action that benefits you and the planet, though admittedly there’s only so much individualised therapy can do for such a huge problem - perhaps there’s a support group you can go to?

And finally, make sure you take some time every day, preferably an hour if you can spare it, but certainly at least fifteen minutes, to do something you really love, that brings you genuine joy, and has nothing to do with the climate crisis. You can’t pour from an empty cup and you can’t put out fires if you’re burnt out. Rest, regeneration and self-care are prerequisites for sustainable movement building and you deserve to have moments of unalloyed happiness. You are categorically NOT in this alone, you are part of a huge, ever-growing moment full of people who are working towards the same goal even though most of you will never meet. And so while we need you now more than ever, there’s also enough of us that you can take a few minutes to feel better and it won’t cost us the fight. As an older activist said to me recently, even when we sleep our comrades across the world are waking up ready to face the day’s struggle.

Ultimately, a lot of these are just things that have worked for me, and they won’t all be accessible or appropriate to you. Some of them are more about changing your viewpoint than radically altering the status quo around the climate. But I know I fight better when I feel optimistic and well in myself, so these are my suggestions. I hope some of them help, and I want to commend your strength and bravery in reaching out for advice and connection, because that’s how we keep fighting, and that’s how we win.

The Horrors are real, but so are the Wonders. And one of those Wonders is you.

[shadale-s-safe-space]

I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

[overmore]

I could probably spend a lot of time on talking how idv fandom doesn't have the feeling of a proper fandom sometimes due to the lack of people actually doing fun stuff and making events (I already touched upon this on Bluesky the other day) that are participatory in nature and are done for the love of the media itself rather than getting something out of it. Now I want to talk about how it does feel hard to even try and make something, because unless it's an exchange, you don't really see people participating in things.

I'm a part of a discord server that's centered around creating fics for the most part (art is there too but it's writing centered. ficwip, you might be familiar with it) and really, if the event is not a longer one like a bang, it has motivated me to create more and participate in events ran by the mods there. Having no restrictions beyond the themes of the event (meaning no morality restrictions) has actively helped me wanna participate in events more, even outside of it. I now use dreamwidth a lot and find various events there, both exchanges and other forms like bingos and challenges and it has been very freeing and fun.

All of this stems from the fact that you can do whatever you want with ships. The main rule for many of these events is 'no morality restrictions' and everything is immediately better. And it's something seriously missing in this fandom because way too many people are up the the ass about ships they don't like or topic they think are wrong, even if we're talking about fiction. If this attitude was changed, there would be a massive improvement in the experience I believe.

There absolutely are people like that, whether they like problematic topics or not, but that doesn't really matter. It's sadly just not enough. Having creative minds is what drives fandom to be a better and more enjoyable place, and at the moment, there's sadly not enough of them. Many left because the fandom itself is kinda shit about it still, I've seen that happen too with people I follow who now go to different fandoms and aren't having problems like these (or where they are present, they're minimal and can be avoided easily). It actively pains me because other than losing people who were amazing creatives, if you don't go there too, it's hard to connect if you don't enjoy the said new media to a level where you'd be in the fandom.

I often see people say 'switch fandoms if yours is terrible' but at least for me, I can't just do that on a random Tuesday. It requires a very specific set of conditions. Last time, when I was into bsd, for me it was not enjoying the current stage where the manga was it, fandom being toxic and mean, lack of creative ideas and the fact that a person I really hated and who was previously known for being a rabid anti joining a server I was in and no one seemed to be aware of that (they have changed their stance long ago, but that doesn't really change the fact they which hunted people and were horrible in general). The last point being the breaking one, that pushed me into looking at idv as a writing outlet.

Up until that point, I've already played the game for over a year. It took me a whole year of playing to actually get into the fandom.

I don't know when I'll be in a situation where this just clicks like that again. I've liked and played a lot of new games since then, not even once I've thought of wanting to actively be in the fandom for any of them. I don't consume animamga like I used to when I was younger, it's now much slower and I'm pickier about it, but nothing truly catches my attention beyond enjoying the media and thinking about it for a while.

TLDR: fandoms need creatives who can do whatever they like without restrictions for the fandom to flourish and have a nice community and switching fandoms can be a pain depending on how your relationship is with it.