#i feel like sometimes new york forgets that they can make easy plays

[the-physicality]

honestly despite some of the lows this season the merc really have spoiled me. on the after time out plays, on inbounding, on the post guard connections, the dt to bg connection

[maditalksmusic]

"WE'RE BIKINI KILL AND WE WANT REVOLUTION!"

is the opening statement of feminist punk band Bikini Kill’s song “Double Dare Ya”, one of their most famous songs challenging girls to always be unabashedly themselves. It’s a line that resonates through every song they’ve ever put out and every show they’ve performed.

Last Sunday, after finishing a horrible calculus assignment, I needed to find something to do with myself before I lashed out at anyone who crossed my path, some sort of way to diffuse my anger at the stupidity of simplifying 42 useless radical inequalities and difference quotients. I saw an Instagram ad for a Bikini Kill show at the Brooklyn Paramount in three hours. I texted every one of my new, cool college Instagram mutuals who I’d maybe met once who I thought may be a fellow Riot Grrrl fan, but nobody could go. I knew going alone was risky, but the ticket was $30. It was too good of a deal to pass up. I went back to my apartment, changed into my plaid skirt and Docs, threw my hair into the coolest claw clip style I could pull off in 5 minutes, and got on the next train to New York City. 

An hour and a half, one face-plant in Penn Station, an out of service Subway line, and a sprint through Manhattan in platforms to the next stop of the D train later, I made it to the venue. It was only 30 minutes before the opener, Sweeping Promises, came on, and I assumed there would be a line out the door. When I just walked right through security without waiting for a single second, I was shocked. I figured I would be squeezing into the middle of that standing-room-only space like a canned sardine, but I waltzed right up to the barricade. Watching people fill in behind me was fascinating. I was under the impression I’d be one of the youngest people there, until I started seeing waves of 13-16 year old girls coming in buzzing with excitement, followed closely by their fathers in vintage punk merch who probably played basement shows every weekend in their late teens and early twenties. 

Kathi Wilcox on bass guitar during "Alien She", shot by me

I started listening to Bikini Kill when I was 13. They were one of the first bands that played “real music” (essentially anything that isn’t top 40 radio pop) that I started listening to. Hearing Kathleen Hanna singing, or more accurately melodically screaming, these songs about everything from feminism to political activism to standing up to sexual harassment over a gorgeously aggressive drum beat from Tobi Vail while Kathi Wilcox shreds on bass, made something in my brain click into place. Suddenly I realized that even at my age, I could be aware of what was going on in the world, and I could start to challenge these issues, even if it was only on a personal scale. Hearing “Double Dare Ya” live, standing five feet from the stage, hearing every girl in the room singing along, feeling the physical energy radiating from all of those people who felt the same, while making eye contact with Kathleen Hanna was possibly the most impactful moment of my life thus far. It’s easy to forget how important it is to let your frustrations out not only by yourself, but in a public space sometimes. In May, Hanna spoke with NPR on the subject. It’s healthy to cope with emotions on your own, but the experience of letting it all out with other people who are right there with you is unparalleled. This public release of anger is one of the things Bikini Kill prioritizes, and it’s highly evident in the electric energy of their shows. 

Throughout the show, the band took moments to reflect on their history, and to appreciate each other, their friends, their inspirations, the people who have supported them, and their fan base. Hanna told stories that have inspired songs and albums, from her experience trying to join church choir as a young girl to the realities of experiencing assault and harassment on the basis of sex to the ways that losing friends too soon has affected her. A moment that particularly stood out was when she spoke on her late friend Mikey, who both she and Tobi Vail had known since they were teenagers. They fondly reminisced on the times they had together, and the shenanigans Mikey often enjoyed causing. Hanna then produced a neon pink fanny pack, and revealed that when Mikey passed five years ago, his mother gave her some of his ashes. This fanny pack goes to every show that Bikini Kill plays and as it turns out, is the vessel for Mikey’s remains. At first, this seemed rather morbid, and was clearly disturbing to some people in the crowd. There were gasps and nervous, shocked laughs around the room. But as Hanna explained why it was that fanny pack, it turned into a heartwarming moment, realizing that this way of honoring Mikey’s legacy, bringing his ashes on tour and keeping him with them not only in spirit but physically, is exactly what would have brought him happiness. This is highly reflective of Bikini Kill’s philosophy as a band and serves as a reminder for why they continue to do what they do. 

Over 30 years since their inception, Bikini Kill has stayed entirely true to their origins. Their sound and the messages they seek to convey haven’t changed since the 90s. Some might claim this is a sort of resistance to change, or a marker of being “behind the times”, but judging by the number of people under the age of 20 at that show, it couldn’t be further from the truth. This July, they made their television debut with a performance of “Rebel Girl”, one of their first songs, on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. 

Authenticity is the defining characteristic of Bikini Kill. It’s their unbridled authenticity that makes it so powerful for them to play a song written in 1993 as their first televised performance 31 years later, because their style and their messages still ring true. It’s that authenticity that makes the environment of their shows so incredible. As an eighteen year old girl who was alone in New York, I had never felt safer than I did in that ~2500 person crowd. Bikini Kill continues to use their music to create spaces where women, queer people, or anyone else who goes against the status quo can come and be themself with utmost support. This is a band that has always catered to the youth with their punk-rock anthems of rebellion and empowerment, and in today’s political climate with reproductive rights and LGBTQ+ issues being at the top of the ballot, that’s more important than ever. They embody the true punk spirit, entirely unafraid to stand up for themselves and what they believe in, without regard to whether or not it’s deemed “socially acceptable”. Concerts like this are the reminders that all of us need to be the “rebel girl” in our community that refuses to be a bystander to social ills, remains honest to a fault, and is uncompromising in her values. These cathartic spaces are a necessity for everyone, and Bikini Kill’s commitment to ensuring their continued existence and the importance of expressing your anger is what fuels their ongoing success and solidifies their place in music history.

[tokuvivor]

DuckTales Character Songs! (Part 4)

And now, here’s the last of 4 parts of my DuckTales character playlist. This time, I’ll be highlighting songs for recurring characters from Season 3 (with one exception, mind you). Sorry it’s a bit late, but regardless, it’s here.

Links to my previous songs:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 2, continued

Part 3

Part 3, continued

And once again, a shoutout to @glowyjellyfish on brainstorming these some with me.

Black Heron

Paint It, Black by The Rolling Stones

First off, I’m kicking myself a little, because how did I forget doing a song for Heron to this point? That said, I guess it kinda makes sense having her song here, considering she was such a big part of F.O.W.L., the main villains of Season 3, so…yeah.

Anyway, this song is very serious, blunt, and kinda dark, like her. It’s also kind of a nod to the fact that the Darkwing Duck iteration of F.O.W.L. was largely a shadowy organization without a real concrete face of it.

Steelbeak

POWER by Kanye West

I was going back and forth as to whether I should use this song. But ultimately, I did. At times during the song, the title is a reference to a power trip, which Steelbeak ultimately did go on when he used the Intelli-Ray in The Last Adventure! Kanye is very bombastic and polarizing, a lot like Steelbeak himself. A lot of the time, he chooses to use his brute strength to forge ahead, and tries to prove all his doubters wrong, even those he works with. So really, regardless of what you might think of Kanye, his music works well for Steelbeak’s narrative.

Daisy Duck

Grown Woman by Beyoncé

No original version of the song? Come on, Spotify!

Anyway, as easy as it could be to choose a song about Daisy, it’s also just as easy to mess it up. She’s way more that just a pretty face. She’s an absolute go-getter that knows what she wants out of life, has worked super hard in the fashion industry, and given both her age and her status, she can do what she wants, but doesn’t let it go to her head.

Phantom Blot

Man in Black by Johnny Cash

Besides his attire, this song kinda plays off of Blot’s backstory, being against magic after Magica laid waste to his town. His attire presumably took on a more somber tone after this, and he started hunting magic users down. Until things can be seen as brighter for him, the Blot will wear all black.

Gosalyn Mallard

Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons

Gosalyn has had a rough life. Her parents die, she loses her grandfather, she’s been on the run from her life circumstances. However, she thrives off of the uncertainty, pushing through barriers, just doing whatever she can to get through life. Also, I just feel like ID’s music in general really suits her edgy, sometimes jaded personality.

The Fearsome Five (well, Four)

Bad to the Bone by George Thorogood and the Destroyers

We didn’t get much of the Fearsome Five (especially Negaduck) in DuckTales, but I think this song sums them up pretty well as villains.

Kit Cloudkicker and Molly Cunningham

Learn to Fly by Foo Fighters

The Greatest Show by Panic! at the Disco from The Greatest Showman

Honestly, I gotta mention this TaleSpin duo in the same breath here. I’d say these songs are mostly self-explanatory. Kit’s a pilot trying to hone his talent (don’t really remember TaleSpin, but from what I’ve gathered, DuckTales did his character all wrong); Molly started her own sky circus, and what better song to embrace the role of ringleader with than this banger? (It has grown on me over the years, I won’t lie.)

May and June (Duck)

Who Are the Mystery Girls? by New York Dolls

Okay, like with a couple of the other songs I’ve used, the lyrics aren’t the most appropriate to describe the situation, but the title…yeah, it’s just the general sentiment for most of The Last Adventure!: “Who are the mystery girls?” Some of the characters, Webby especially, are just trying to figure out May and June.

And that’s it! My complete list of character songs for DuckTales! I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did making the list. As for my next musical foray into DuckTales, I will say this: it’s arguably a bit more complicated than just character songs. So stay tuned!

[aronserrano]

A little life

Aron Joshua C.Serrano                                                            Author:Hanya Yanagihara

G-11 St.Francis                                                                           Date published:2015

                                                                                           Genre:literary fiction/tragedy

                                                                 

       A Little Life chronicles the lives of four friends who, upon graduating from a prestigious college in Massachusetts, move to New York to pursue their respective professions. Their group is comprised of JB, an unapologetically outspoken artist; Malcom, a successful architect who is dissatisfied, despite working at a renowned firm; Willem, a kind and good-looking actor; and Jude, a mysteriously reserved and intelligent litigator.The storyline focuses on their friendship in relation to Jude, who serves as the glue that holds the group together. The novel details the tragedy resulting from Jude’s childhood and the trauma that he struggles to overcome as he gets older. His unspeakable and horrific experiences will leave any reader asking how someone so good can endure so much suffering.

     My biggest takeaway from A Little Life is simple: life is what you make it. The characters in this book particularly Jude  encounter many devastating experiences, and yet, they continue to push forward. The journey is far from easy, but their choice to rely on their friendship, and their ambition to further themselves from their pasts, makes it a little less distressing.This lesson has become increasingly apparent to me as I navigate my way through my own life. As I encounter various challenges, although to a lesser degree than the characters in this novel, the presence of, and support from my friends and family has been crucial in helping me overcome them.A Little Life is not a novel about happy endings because life isn’t all about happy endings. It’s a novel that details the harsh complexities of life and the important role that friendship can play in making them easier to withstand.As such, it serves as a reminder that as difficult as life gets, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. Your friends, family, mentors, and other people in your life are a lot stronger than you think, and can provide you with the support you might not have thought you needed in the first place. I also learned that Childhood is a crucial period where we define what we will become in the future,We sometimes tend to forget about the importance of mental health,Don't prejudge people without knowing them,Anxiety is a burden that some people have to carry for a longtime and lastly  As ugly as life can be, there is also a light that helps us keep going and stay positive. A Little Life reminds us to be in the moment and appreciate the good things while they last. I feel like I’m always in such a rush to grow up and make memories in the next stages of my life that I’m often missing out on the most important things in front of me.This novel encourages me to be conscious of my life in the present as I move forward, one step at a time.

[septembersghost]

Sometimes I think harry's explanation on fine line(having s*x and feeling sad) suits hs1 better simply because that's all the album is about. I always think about his 2015-16 and I can't imagine it being any other way. Like I think 2015 was his worst year . First taylor left him and showed up with her bf 3 months after leaving him. Then zayn left the band and he definitely hated(atleast resented zayn for that) . He was snarky everytime zayn was brought up. I also felt like the boys also isolated him and blamed him for z.In some bts there was ot3 standing close then there was.......harry. If louis blamed harry in 2019 for breaking band we can imagine how he behaved in 15. on top there was Robin's cancer. So he had a lot to deal with and he was only 21-22. I genuinely don't think I'll be able to go through all that unscathed. So he didn't have a silver lining to look for in that stage and he used sex as a defence mechanism. Taylor left him when he had a bit more less-messy life I don't think hs1 would be this sad and maybe would've been more positive. I felt like tay left him when he desperately needed someone in his life who truly understands him as a support system. While he wrote it as a heartbreak album there is a lot of underlying issues in it. While he asks 'take the pain away' he is not just talking about Taylor. He is talking about everything in his life. I think Olivia perfectly describes how much he needed her companionship at that moment of his life.

that explanation of fine line is so inaccurate, and i think he said that to try and conceal some of its heartbreak/darkness/vulnerability, but it does the record a bit of a disservice. it's much more than that. i do agree that description is more fitting for HS1, though he does tackle some of that in a deeper way there as well.

idk that i'd characterize his response to zayn as hating him, but he definitely was upset/annoyed and played that off with snarky humor. i'd imagine it also frustrated him that zayn expressed some dismissal of the band as a whole, since harry has always openly been very proud of their music and what they achieved and created, but naturally the two of them had disparate experiences and walked away with individual feelings. i haven't necessarily picked up on the other boys blaming him (although i have seen commentary about h being blamed for the "hiatus" and some of the resentment that went along with that, whether unfounded or not), but that could be due to seeing things in hindsight rather than as they happened. (niall and harry seem quite close to me in press for mitam!)

agree that was a very difficult and tumultuous time for him, and it's easy to forget he was still SO young. there's real grief tucked away on a lot of HS1, and masking that with sex is not at all uncommon. the sorrow and feeling of not knowing how to handle everything is probably clearest in ever since new york, especially since he's said that it's about that specific loss, but shades of it and that uncertainty and hurt show up in ftdt/mmith and even two ghosts as well.

keeping in mind she was also very unwell and in an escalatingly bad place at this time, it makes additional sense as to why they never found a safe moment to land or an ability to work that out. two young, adrift people just trying to hold on and make it through various terrible storms weren't going to be able to build a lasting foundation.

While he asks 'take the pain away' he is..talking about everything in his life. definitely. fame itself is such a monster to deal with and to survive, and to be thrown headfirst into that as a teenager and try to surface and cope with early adulthood and finding your sense of self and experiencing such formative events...the trade-off of success and money or whatever for sharing your creativity and talent being that intrusive, incessant fame is nightmarish to consider. the entire concept of scrutiny on that level fills me with dread tbh. and it's been challenging and hard from the advent of popular celebrity, we've seen its destruction on so many people, sadly. it's incredible anyone survives it with their minds and hearts intact at all.

[disco-asphodel]

i need to share some of the tags ppl have put on this post. bc they are poems and they made me cry and i think they need to be read

#i keep telling my friends when recommending the game#often stories abt hope are difficult for those that have despaired#bc they boild down to “just believe✨”#and its easy bc there's so clearly smth to believe in in them#but DE shows you the deepest abyss#kneels in it bathes in it#have the despaired go “see?? it gets it!!” as they lie down with it#and then it floats on its back in the abyss and looks up at the stars#a story brave enough to engage with the abyss that tears me up as well#and then even braver still says “there's smth here. you're still alive. as long as you are there is still a chance”#even if you're the most despicable deservedly downtrodden guy you can get a chance#there's beauty in this world. in this ugly cold abyss#thats true hope for me. that's bravery. strength#labern#things of substance#also with how understanding the game is with substance use. not forgiving but understanding.#and how failure is an integral part of the experience. smth u get more out of often#more touching or introspective.#and crucially#more chances to try again and experience smth new#more chances to feel and hope#cries#The simplest most profound aspects of the universe are religious to those recovering from anything-- be it substance grief trauma etc. (via @cockonfetti)

#Ohhhhhh.... Ahhh...#I want to replay in the spring. It's a perfect early spring game#The late winter blooming into hopeful spring... That is the exact time of the year the game takes place in#I think the game will resonate with me in a new way when I next play it as an alcoholic who is clean#The game is depressing in the way that feels like home to those who have BEEN THERE.. And the hope is presents#Might seem bleak but the simple love and joy of the world around you is. And I am not exaggerating.#An addict in recovery's greatest gift from existence.#I spoke mildly on thoreau yesterday and how grief works it's way through the fabrics of transcendentalism#This game presents such a stark commonality to this thought#The simplest most profound aspects of the universe are religious to those recovering from anything-- be it substance grief trauma etc.#To see the true simple beauty of the light one must also be well acquainted with the dark beauty of a bottomless pit#Disco Elysium lays out some of the lowest lows in such stark discomfort-- but it is familiar to us.#And it also lays out hope and sheer love for the world in one of the most cathartically actionable dirty ethos I've ever seen.#Tequila Sunset will in its horrifyingly neon pain see a free simple sunrise once more ❣️#The road is discomfortingly hard. The hardest thing you can do. But existence itself is worth it.#It should make you uncomfortable. It better. But for a lot of us: that discomfort has been a home in our chests for as long as we can#Remember our own selves-- whatever those selves are or was or is becoming#Disco Elysium#Anyways...... I'm listening to a York and tex do a mission together playlist and enjoying my evening. (via @whitmanic)

#when you've hit rock bottom and there is nothing left for you--and then you come out the other end of it alive#you often really do see the world as just#so deeply hopeful and beautiful even in the ugliest parts. sometimes because you have to.#but also because--where else are you supposed to find it? why not here?#how could it not be a gift to feel the bite of the wind? how could i not find joy and beauty in a sea of sodden dead grass?#i see the concept of the pale and yes sure it's disturbing as a concept if you're unfamiliar with it#but as someone who struggles deeply with memory loss and brain fog and psychosis it's deeply relatable and beautiful in a way#idk#i resonate with this post a lot (via @peachybutch)

#same here#i am an addict and i was previously suicidal#sometimes i used to imagine just forgetting everything that ever made me this way#if maybe that would fix me#i also live in a rust belt city whos heyday was about a hundred years ago and will never come back#there are probably like ten harry du bois in my neighborhood at least and i have to hope i never become onw of them (@rot-grrl)

#disco elysium#genuinely disco elysium comforted me in ways that nothing else has#i may not have been an alcoholic#but i can see my own self-hatred sorrows and pain in harry#I've been failed so many times#yet there's still hope (via @zscribez)

#TRUUUUUUTH#im not even an alcoholic (but i am suicidally depressed) but oh my godddd when you manage to heal most of harry and fix things and comfort#people and provide silliness and joy and a stronger community even though youre still broken and in a failing system (COPS !!!!!)#ouurgghhhh#disco elysium#i love de it gave me hope it made me feel so so happy and hopeful#every time i had a Shivers moment i would weep (via @ignorancesbliss)

#and yet i continue (via @planningisnotmystrength)

realtalk but when i see dudes on steam or ppl on tumblr talking about how disco elysium made them feel pathetic and uncomfortable i just. i don’t know. i cannot relate to that at all. disco elysium is about an alcoholic amnesiac poet in love with a dying city who loves him back. if i had never been an alcoholic, if i had never been suicidally depressed, maybe i would think the world of disco elysium is a bleak one. but when you know what it’s like to go through that darkness and come out of it again? to fall back in love with a world that almost destroyed you? disco elysium is the most hopeful story imaginable. it sees the world for what it is and holds nothing back, none of the horror, none of the wonder, none of the love…

something about art comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable i dunno

[crazyblondelife]

Life's Simple Pleasures

There is always something to be grateful for! Yesterday was quite a busy day (aren’t they all), and I was stressed about a location to take these pictures. I sometimes get it in my head that our town is too small and doesn’t have enough beautiful spots for photography and I guess, compared to New York City…that’s true. However, when I gave myself a minute to calm down and be open to inspiration, the perfect spots for these photographs popped into my head! That’s really how it is with most things we worry (needlessly) about in life!

Even though I love cities, small town living is so much easier. It takes me no more than 10ish minutes to get anywhere I want to go and only thirty minutes to an hour to get to fabulous shopping and restaurants! You really can’t beat that!

I am usually running around like a chicken with my head cut off (old Southern expression I think), and forget to take the time to just be still for a minute. In the stillness, everything is so much more clear, time stands still and peace takes over the chaos. Even big problems seem much less serious when you allow yourself to escape into stillness. After all, every answer resides there.

This beautiful fountain is seconds from our home and I walk there with Amos most days. The street is called Fountain Place…it’s a tree lined street with beautiful old homes and children playing. Life seems idyllic when I’m walking on Fountain Place.

As a child, I played in (yes actually in), this fountain. I’m not sure how the fish felt about it, but my friends and I had so much fun. Those were the days when childhood was carefree and anything seemed possible.

During my 40s and 50s, I had come to believe that life would never be carefree again and that life held little possibility. it was only when I learned about my inner power and accessing that through stillness that my life changed. I now believe that anything is possible and my life feels much more carefree (with a schedule).

As I enter a new decade of life, one of the things I want to focus on is slowing down and noticing the beauty that’s all around me. Nature offers not only beauty but a sense of peace and security. There is nothing like walking through the woods and really listening to the sounds of nature…but, how often do we do things like that! Not often enough.

Even though I have no intention of slowing down as it relates to my business, I do intend to take moments of my day to slow down and notice what’s going on around me. To speak to strangers in the grocery store and smile at children. It’s so important to be engaged in whatever you’re doing instead of only ever thinking about the next thing.

When you really stop to think about it, the things that really matter are so simple. Time with people you love, a really great meal, the warm breeze at the ocean, engaging conversation, watching the sunset, sliding into freshly washed sheets in the evening. These things are so simple and often, the things we forget to appreciate.

Beauty is all around you if you take the time to look! In the end, these pictures were so easy because I decided they would be. Instead of stressing about where we would take them, I slowed down and took a breath…and then, it came to me. The pictures with the yellow dress were taken in our side yard and obviously, the other pictures were taken minutes away on Fountain Place.

We ended up having fun, talking to a neighbor and the whole shoot took less than 30 minutes. Lesson learned! Slowing down makes everything easier and quicker and much less stressful. Time is manmade, the Universe is on it’s own time and when we tap in…we can be part of that Divine timing!

My little problem yesterday was very small in the scheme of things, but the same spiritual principles apply to every problem. The Universe really does have your back, when you allow it!

And…about the dresses! They are both from Farm Rio and were gifted to me. I love wearing dresses in the summer and fall and these two are perfect for the days when I want my style to feel a little boho…free and fun! They’re perfect for twirling and you can eat a huge dinner and not worry about being uncomfortable (big plus as far as I’m concerned)! I paired them both with cute espadrilles from Aldo that are under $100 and go with everything because of the clear strap! Both dresses are linked in the boutique below as well as some other favorites from Farm Rio!

I can’t believe it’s already Wednesday and I hope you’re having the best week! Remember, as you go about your day today…stop, breath and let the gratitude for life and the sacred Stillness take over, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes. It will make the biggest difference! Life is supposed to be good and the power to make it that way, lies within you! Thank you so much for reading!

[tiasreadingnook]

FAVORITE AUTHORS AND WHY

[ A/N: These are based on my opinion, standards, and experiences only. The writers in this blog are those whose blogs I read religiously. I weirdly have a high standard on what fics I can read without cringing and these writers are the ones on the top of my list. This is also for those new readers that are still kinda confused about where to start and where they can find writers with extensive and quality master lists. This is a continuously growing list and I will add more when I encounter others.]

This list are blogs that mostly make fanfictions of the characters Chris Evans, Henry Cavill, and Sebastian Stan plays.

Please read the individual warnings, rules, and tags in each of these writers' blogs or fics. Minors dni.

@littlefreya - "The Eve"

When I was lost and new to the Henry Cavill fandom it was her stories that were the final nail to my coffin that will bury me 6 feet under the fandom. Her master list is everything and more -- smut, ddlg, dark, fluff, domestic -- whatever you want it's there.

@onsunnyside - "My Sofia Coppola"

Sofia Coppola is my favorite director when it comes to imagery and aesthetics -- that is why I consider Sunny as my Sofia because I SWEAR the first time I read Tarzan!Steve fic it was like a movie and none of her stories have ever disappointed me. I still can't believe I read her stories for free.

@evansbby - "New York Times"

I've said it once and I'll repeat it, I check her blog every day like it's the morning news. I am so obsessed with her stories it is unhealthy. She writes the most delicious and varied Chris Evans and characters fics which makes it exciting but also comforting at the same time because at the end of the day -- they're all daddy.

@kinanabinks - "Spicy Shakespeare"

I actually took a lot of inspiration from her in one of my series -- she is that good. She writes the most delicious smut with the perfect splash of angst, tragedy, drama, and smut that will satisfy that itch in your head when you're looking for a bit of drama in your p*rn.

@comfortcap - "Guilty Comfort"

My daddy issues FLARE TF UP when I'm reading any of her (ddlg) fics. Such a sweet writer with the sweetest, fluffiest, and sometimes smuttiest fics that makes me feel guilty and comforted at the same time ;3 I love reading her stuff after a long and overwhelming day.

@junipermuses - "Lizzy Grant"

Lizzy Grant -- aka Lana del Ray -- is how I imagine her fics would be if it was a person. Sexy, effortlessly cool, and so put together. The subtle but easy-to-digest plots builds up the smut so much that it's so satisfying to watch it all unravel in the end.

@buckycuddlebuddy - "hey god ... me again"

Her fics immerse me so much that she has me giggling and kicking my feet as I read them. She is one of the few "x reader" fic writers that makes me want to cry and scream and beg whichever god is listening to move me in the alternate reality where I am the "reader" / main character in her story.

@sillyrabbit81 - "Mother Nature Called"

I swear every time I'm on my period you will find me vicariously scrolling through her master list because the way she writes the daddies (ESPECIALLY SY) are so comforting, dominant, and caring that it just turns my heart, womb, and coochie into mush.

@angrythingstarlight - "Pandora's Box"

Once you open her master list you will read nothing but her works for days (trust me I've been there) . She has an extensive collection of works that are a top quality. Her works can range from sweet to downright nasty to the fluffiest domestic scenarios that will have you grinning at your screen at 3 am.

@hansensgirl - "The Witch"

I forget feminism when I'm reading her works. I cannot believe I'm giggling over a man bossing me over and controlling my entire life?! And she somehow makes it work and that's how I've come to the theory that she pulls some witchcraft shit when she writes her stories but hey ... I'm not complaining.

@pellucid-constellations - "All Too Well (10 minute version)"

She writes the BEST angst and that's coming from me whose comfort film is "Love, Rosie". If you're looking for a well-developed plot, characters, and story arcs that end with a lot of groveling, comfort, and a happy ending -- look no further.

[jon-astronaut]

Stranger Things Social Media AU - But I Knew You - (Ronance & Stonathan) - Chapter 20

Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Jonathan’s POV

Steve’s Instagram Post

Jonathan’s POV

“How was your break?” Steve asked and Jonathan was surprised that he brought it up because he had a good guess that Steve’s was pretty shitty.

“Good.” Jonathan replied taking a sip of his beer.

“Just good?” Steve asked with a scowl.

“No, it was great.” He replied this time with a small smile and Steve nodded and smiled in return. “Mom didn’t burn the turkey, Hopper struggled cutting it so we all lost it. Will and El were too excited to hear about New York.” He continued giving a recap of his weekend.

“Did I get a mention in your New York stories?” Steve asked with a smirk, then took a sip of his own beer.

“Yeah, I was sure to tell them about how they were right about you changing.” Jonathan replied, a smaller, a more shy smirk on his face.

Steve’s face lit up, a bright grin formed on his face. Jonathan knew that expression so well. It was Steve’s sincere smile that Jonathan had seen a lot these days. Steve’s fake smiles seemed to be long gone.

“Your siblings are really smart.” Steve said a few seconds later.

Jonathan liked that Steve, and his friends, referred to El as his sibling too. She had truly became her sister at their time in California. Jonathan tried not to separate her from Will and she made that easy.

“How was your break?” Jonathan asked, hesitantly, and saw Steve’s smile fade in real time.

“I survived.” Steve replied with a quiet chuckle and a tiny shrug.

“Steve-“ Jonathan started softly, barely keeping himself from reaching and grabbing his hand.

“You don’t-I’m fine. I’m even going to start at the company on the winter break.” He said cutting off Jonathan and his voice was anything but excited.

“And you want that?” Jonathan questioned, remembering the time Steve told him he wanted to do anything but work for his father.

“No, but it’s not like I can do anything else.” Steve replied again with a tiny shrug.

Jonathan knew shrugging was Steve’s way of trying to play things off like he didn’t care about them when in fact he cared a lot. He did that a lot, a little less than his nervous tick of running a hand through his hair or putting his hands on his hips when he was ordering the kids around.

Before Jonathan could attempt to comfort him, saying that he could be and do anything he wanted to, Steve spoke up again.

“Anyway, forget my parents.” Steve said waving his hand off in the air. “Sunday night I had the best dinner at the Hendersons. I don’t know about your mom but Claudia Henderson is the best in kitchen.” He added so happily, similar to how Jonathan talked about his break with his family.

“I remember Will raving about her peanut butter cookies.” Jonathan replied with a smile.

“She only makes them for me now.” Steve shot back with a big grin and a wink.

Sometimes Jonathan wished he was there to watch Steve’s turning point. It would sure be interesting to see him get close with Dustin and his mom - so close that he was invited to dinners, was having special cookies made for him, was taking his laundry there instead of his own house. That was Steve’s first experience with a real family Jonathan knew, and it made Jonathan wonder if he was taking his family for granted sometimes. Lonnie was the worst, he made their lives a nightmare but at least he had his mom and Will.

Jonathan hated Steve’s parents almost as much as he hated Lonnie. As far as he knew Steve’s dad never hit him but his insults were nothing short of Lonnie. They always made Steve feel shitty about himself and Jonathan’s words at 16 weren’t enough to balance his dad’s sometimes. So, Steve felt shitty about himself for a long time. Steve seemed to think like that less now but, that thought was still there and Jonathan could see it. One of these days he was going to fully convince Steve otherwise.

“Forget your parents. Screw them, then.” Jonathan said with a growing grin and raised his beer bottle for Steve to clink.

After a second of surprise, Steve blinked and happily clinked their bottles together.

Robin’s POV

Nancy’s POV

Nancy really didn’t want to be at an open mic tonight but she had been sulking in her room for the past few days and she knew it wasn’t helping. So, when her new found-friends from one of her classes texted her to invite her along, after a couple of minutes of thinking, she agreed to come. She was taking time like Max suggested which meant she was avoiding Robin so that she could think clearly. And, this meant that he was spending most of her time alone because she decided to not see Steve and Jonathan too in case they would be with Robin.

In short, she really needed to take her mind off of Robin.

The open mic wasn’t too enjoyable. Some people sang but they weren’t as good as Robin. One person did a stand up and it was actually funny and even got some laughs out of Nancy in her situation right now. As she was getting up to get another drink from the bar, holding the fake ID Robin got her firmly in her hand, her eye caught Robin and another girl sitting on one of the tables. They were singing along to the song being sang by the girl on stage. Their chairs were so close together, Robin’s arm was slinging from the girl’s shoulder and Robin laughed so brightly in between following the lyrics.

Something burned inside Nancy. She felt her throat tighten and she felt nauseated. Her hand holding the fake ID tightened even more over it and for a second she thought she was going to break the ID into two. To her luck, the girl next to Robin got up and walked towards the bathrooms. So, Nancy took in a deep breath and fixed her hair. As she was walking towards their table, as casually as she can, she knew it wasn’t a smart move. Her feelings clouded her judgement sometimes like how she had her first time with Jonathan at his mother’s friend’s house. Regular Nancy would never do something like that, regular Nancy would never try to set up a scene where she was acting like she didn’t spot Robin with another girl.

Just like she guessed, as she was walking right in front of their table, Robin called to her.

“Nancy!” Robin said with such a big smile that Nancy’s heart broke because she couldn’t act this happy to see Robin.

“Hi.” Nancy replied flatly, like she didn’t care, like she wasn’t burning with jealousy.

“What are you doing here?” Robin asked, still so happy.

“Some of my friends invited me.” Nancy replied, in a really contrasting tone.

“Steve and Jonathan?” Robin asked this time a little shocked, her eyebrows furrowed.

“No, I have other friends too.” Nancy snapped, and immediately regretted it when Robin didn’t look as happy as before.

Even when she wasn’t meaning to Nancy was hurting Robin. How was she supposed to be with her and make her happy?

“Like you do.” Nancy added quietly but Robin still managed to catch her words.

“Yeah, I came with Vickie.” Robin replied with some of her cheerfulness returning to her voice and Nancy hated that it came with the mention of that girl’s name.

That girl. God, when did Nancy became such a sore person? She knew nothing about the girl, about her relation to Robin and she was literally losing it.

Out of the corner of her eye, Nancy saw the girl making her way back to the table and decided that it was for the best to avoid a fall out.

“I should go.” She said and disappeared between the tables.

She walked around the whole place and made her way back to the bar. Then, she flashed her ID and scored herself three tequila shots and sent them down her throat. She was a mess.

Nancy’s POV

[kvetchlandia]

Bob Dylan     Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie, Live at Town Hall, New York City     1963

When yer head gets twisted and yer mind grows numb

When you think you're too old, too young, too smart or too dumb

When yer laggin' behind an' losin' yer pace

In a slow-motion crawl of life's busy race

No matter what yer doing if you start givin' up

If the wine don't come to the top of yer cup

If the wind's got you sideways with with one hand holdin' on

And the other starts slipping and the feeling is gone

And yer train engine fire needs a new spark to catch it

And the wood's easy findin' but yer lazy to fetch it

And yer sidewalk starts curlin' and the street gets too long

And you start walkin' backwards though you know its wrong

And lonesome comes up as down goes the day

And tomorrow's mornin' seems so far away

And you feel the reins from yer pony are slippin'

And yer rope is a-slidin' 'cause yer hands are a-drippin'

And yer sun-decked desert and evergreen valleys

Turn to broken down slums and trash-can alleys

And yer sky cries water and yer drain pipe's a-pourin'

And the lightnin's a-flashing and the thunder's a-crashin'

And the windows are rattlin' and breakin' and the roof tops a-shakin'

And yer whole world's a-slammin' and bangin'

And yer minutes of sun turn to hours of storm

And to yourself you sometimes say

"I never knew it was gonna be this way

Why didn't they tell me the day I was born"

And you start gettin' chills and yer jumping from sweat

And you're lookin' for somethin' you ain't quite found yet

And yer knee-deep in the dark water with yer hands in the air

And the whole world's a-watchin' with a window peek stare

And yer good gal leaves and she's long gone a-flying

And yer heart feels sick like fish when they're fryin'

And yer jackhammer falls from yer hand to yer feet

And you need it badly but it lays on the street

And yer bell's bangin' loudly but you can't hear its beat

And you think yer ears might a been hurt

Or yer eyes've turned filthy from the sight-blindin' dirt

And you figured you failed in yesterdays rush

When you were faked out an' fooled white facing a four flush

And all the time you were holdin' three queens

And it's makin you mad, it's makin' you mean

Like in the middle of Life magazine

Bouncin' around a pinball machine

And there's something on yer mind you wanna be saying

That somebody someplace oughta be hearin'

But it's trapped on yer tongue and sealed in yer head

And it bothers you badly when your layin' in bed

And no matter how you try you just can't say it

And yer scared to yer soul you just might forget it

And yer eyes get swimmy from the tears in yer head

And yer pillows of feathers turn to blankets of lead

And the lion's mouth opens and yer staring at his teeth

And his jaws start closin with you underneath

And yer flat on your belly with yer hands tied behind

And you wish you'd never taken that last detour sign

And you say to yourself just what am I doin'

On this road I'm walkin', on this trail I'm turnin'

On this curve I'm hanging

On this pathway I'm strolling, in the space I'm taking

In this air I'm inhaling

Am I mixed up too much, am I mixed up too hard

Why am I walking, where am I running

What am I saying, what am I knowing

On this guitar I'm playing, on this banjo I'm frailin'

On this mandolin I'm strummin', in the song I'm singin'

In the tune I'm hummin', in the words I'm writin'

In the words that I'm thinkin'

In this ocean of hours I'm all the time drinkin'

Who am I helping, what am I breaking

What am I giving, what am I taking

But you try with your whole soul best

Never to think these thoughts and never to let

Them kind of thoughts gain ground

Or make yer heart pound

But then again you know why they're around

Just waiting for a chance to slip and drop down

"Cause sometimes you hear'em when the night times comes creeping

And you fear that they might catch you a-sleeping

And you jump from yer bed, from yer last chapter of dreamin'

And you can't remember for the best of yer thinking

If that was you in the dream that was screaming

And you know that it's something special you're needin'

And you know that there's no drug that'll do for the healin'

And no liquor in the land to stop yer brain from bleeding

And you need something special

Yeah, you need something special all right

You need a fast flyin' train on a tornado track

To shoot you someplace and shoot you back

You need a cyclone wind on a stream engine howler

That's been banging and booming and blowing forever

That knows yer troubles a hundred times over

You need a Greyhound bus that don't bar no race

That won't laugh at yer looks

Your voice or your face

And by any number of bets in the book

Will be rollin' long after the bubblegum craze

You need something to open up a new door

To show you something you seen before

But overlooked a hundred times or more

You need something to open your eyes

You need something to make it known

That it's you and no one else that owns

That spot that yer standing, that space that you're sitting

That the world ain't got you beat

That it ain't got you licked

It can't get you crazy no matter how many

Times you might get kicked

You need something special all right

You need something special to give you hope

But hope's just a word

That maybe you said or maybe you heard

On some windy corner 'round a wide-angled curve

But that's what you need man, and you need it bad

And yer trouble is you know it too good

"Cause you look an' you start getting the chills

"Cause you can't find it on a dollar bill

And it ain't on Macy's window sill

And it ain't on no rich kid's road map

And it ain't in no fat kid's fraternity house

And it ain't made in no Hollywood wheat germ

And it ain't on that dimlit stage

With that half-wit comedian on it

Ranting and raving and taking yer money

And you thinks it's funny

No you can't find it in no night club or no yacht club

And it ain't in the seats of a supper club

And sure as hell you're bound to tell

That no matter how hard you rub

You just ain't a-gonna find it on yer ticket stub

No, and it ain't in the rumors people're tellin' you

And it ain't in the pimple-lotion people are sellin' you

And it ain't in no cardboard-box house

Or down any movie star's blouse

And you can't find it on the golf course

And Uncle Remus can't tell you and neither can Santa Claus

And it ain't in the cream puff hair-do or cotton candy clothes

And it ain't in the dime store dummies or bubblegum goons

And it ain't in the marshmallow noises of the chocolate cake voices

That come knockin' and tappin' in Christmas wrappin'

Sayin' ain't I pretty and ain't I cute and look at my skin

Look at my skin shine, look at my skin glow

Look at my skin laugh, look at my skin cry

When you can't even sense if they got any insides

These people so pretty in their ribbons and bows

No you'll not now or no other day

Find it on the doorsteps made out-a paper mache¥

And inside it the people made of molasses

That every other day buy a new pair of sunglasses

And it ain't in the fifty-star generals and flipped-out phonies

Who'd turn yuh in for a tenth of a penny

Who breathe and burp and bend and crack

And before you can count from one to ten

Do it all over again but this time behind yer back

My friend

The ones that wheel and deal and whirl and twirl

And play games with each other in their sand-box world

And you can't find it either in the no-talent fools

That run around gallant

And make all rules for the ones that got talent

And it ain't in the ones that ain't got any talent but think they do

And think they're foolin' you

The ones who jump on the wagon

Just for a while 'cause they know it's in style

To get their kicks, get out of it quick

And make all kinds of money and chicks

And you yell to yourself and you throw down yer hat

Sayin', "Christ do I gotta be like that

Ain't there no one here that knows where I'm at

Ain't there no one here that knows how I feel

Good God Almighty

THAT STUFF AIN'T REAL"

No but that ain't yer game, it ain't even yer race

You can't hear yer name, you can't see yer face

You gotta look some other place

And where do you look for this hope that yer seekin'

Where do you look for this lamp that's a-burnin'

Where do you look for this oil well gushin'

Where do you look for this candle that's glowin'

Where do you look for this hope that you know is there

And out there somewhere

And your feet can only walk down two kinds of roads

Your eyes can only look through two kinds of windows

Your nose can only smell two kinds of hallways

You can touch and twist

And turn two kinds of doorknobs

You can either go to the church of your choice

Or you can go to Brooklyn State Hospital

You'll find God in the church of your choice

You'll find Woody Guthrie in Brooklyn State Hospital

And though it's only my opinion

I may be right or wrong

You'll find them both

In the Grand Canyon

At sundown

[azaleavi]

Pretty boy

Summary: You don't like James Barnes. Of course not when he has a different girl with him every time. And no, you are not jealous... right?

Word count: 3.8k i went OUT with this one

Warnings: language, a man being a creep, then getting beaten up, kissing, very slight alcohol consumption

Author's note: This gave me the idea. It turned out to be pretty long. Sorry. I hope you like it! This is 40s!Bucky btw.

Feedback is always appreciated and don’t forget to reblog and like if you enjoyed it and want to see more. Thank you!

Masterlist

Part 2

James Barnes was a menace. An annoying little shit, who thought he could do anything and have anyone just because he was handsome. Not like you found him attractive or anything, but all the girls of New York seemed to drop their panties at the sight of him. One pet name and they were ready to kiss the ground he walked on. You couldn’t understand. How did these girls not see what kind of person he was? Multiple times you saw girls leave his apartment in the morning looking all sad. At first you felt bad for them, but after a while as they kept coming back you just couldn’t bring yourself to pity them.

Being a close friend of Steve meant you got to see a lot of James too. They were kind of a package deal, to which - by the way - you did not sign up for. Steve was the sweetest person you’ve ever met, maybe too righteous sometimes and he definitely did not know how to walk away from a fight, but he was a good man inside and out. James on the other hand was not like him. He wasn’t a bad man per se, but he was just too much of a player for you. He knew he was handsome and he used it to get girls all the time. Or dames as he called them. You hated that word by every fiber of your being. It reduced a woman to a simple object in your opinion and it basically said that she was only a pretty thing and nothing else. You did not want to be a pretty thing, you wanted more out of your life. Marrying some stuck up man and bearing his children was not something you dreamed of, no matter how many times people told you that it was what you had to do. No. You wanted a life that didn’t revolve around men. A life that you could choose for yourself. But it wasn’t that easy. Everyone expected you to do what they did. It didn’t even occur to them that you wanted something else.

Your mom had been telling you that you should marry James as he was such a nice young man. You just rolled your eyes every time she brought it up. She didn’t understand. How could she when she was so in love with your father after they met a few times that they got married just after a couple of months of knowing each other. Their love was something so extraordinary that you knew it wouldn’t happen to you. Especially not with James. He wasn't thinking about marriage and even if he did he wouldn't want you as a wife. Not like you wanted to marry him or anyone else for that matter, but that didn't mean that it didn't sting a little that he went after every girl he saw, but never thought of you the same way. He never even tried and it beat down your confidence a little. When you first met James you found him intriguing, your young self even had a crush on him for a while. But it didn't take long for you to get to know the real him and the disappointment made you force that crush down. You only laughed at yourself now, finding it hilarious that you once wanted to kiss him and love him. Of course, you didn't feel that way about him anymore. That would be stupid of you. Of course..

-

Having a night out with Steve was a wonderful idea. That is until James showed up, making you narrow your eyes at your friend. You clearly remembered him telling you that James had other plans and it would be just the two of you, but of course he had to mess up your plans.

You went to a bigger pub in the city, having been there before and liking it. James dragged Steve away as soon as you entered, talking about some girl he wanted to introduce him to, so you just went to the bar to ask for some alcohol. God knows you needed it if James was around.

All of the sudden two hands grabbed your waist and turned you around. Before you could realize what was happening a pair of lips were on yours, kissing with so much passion you almost moaned into it. Noses bumping against each other your hand gripped his hair. Your mind cleared as you realized that a stranger was kissing you without your permission and you pushed him away by his chest, hand already raised to slap him. Your whole body froze as you came face to face with a familiar man. James.

"What the fuck is your problem?" you hissed, your palm almost connecting with his cheek, but being stopped by his hand on your wrist. He pulled you close again by his hold on your arm.

"There is a girl I need to get rid of. Just play along" he mumbled, his breath hitting your lips as he leaned in for another kiss. You almost got lost in him again, but you were more aware and not caught by surprise this time so you managed to pull your head away from him.

"I will do no such thing" you narrowed your eyes at him. "Let go of me" you were getting angrier by the second. Who did he think he was?

"What if I don't want to?" Okay that's it. You ripped yourself from his arms.

“Listen here, pretty boy” you pointed your finger at him in your anger, not registering the smug expression that worked its way onto his face. “You can’t just do whatever you want because you are a-“

“You think I’m pretty?” he interrupted your angry rambling and grabbed your finger to pull you closer by it. In your surprise you stumbled forward, your hands finding place on his chest, your nose a few inches from his.

“James” you called out his name in warning. If he didn’t let go of you right now you wouldn’t be responsible for what you did to him.

“Come on, doll. I told you to call me Bucky multiple times” he smirked down at you.

“And I told you that we are not friends therefore I don’t have to call you your stupid nickname” you yanked your hand out of his grip, stepping back. “And stop calling me doll. I’m not one of your girls”

“Ouch doll, that hurts my feelings” he rubbed his chest where his heart was.

“Oh, I didn’t know you knew what those were” you frowned at him, not amused by his teasing. He opened his mouth in mocking shock.

"Don't be so mean to me. A lady like you should always be polite." he teased, knowing well that you hated being called a lady and being told what you should and should not do.

"Good thing I'm not a lady then" you grimaced at him, cocking your head to the side.

"Well, with the way you've been talking to me, I guess you aren't" he stepped back into your personal space. "And if you are not a lady then you should have no problem playing along with me."

"I'm might not be a lady, but I'm definitely not one of your dames either" you pushed him by his shoulders to finally have enough space between you.

"Are you jealous, doll?" a smug smile played on his lips.

"Oh very." your sarcasm was clear as day. "It would be an honor to lie in your bed then leave in the morning, only to never hear from you again." you turned back to the bar, your drink already in front of you. Lifting the glass you nodded at the bartender who gave you a small smile. You drowned it in one shot, the alcohol giving your throat a familiar burn as it went down. "Is there anything else you need?" you turned back to him. He didn't say anything as he kept staring at you. "No? Then you can leave me alone" you shooed him away by your hands, already done with his shenanigans.

"Don't drink too much because of me" he called after you as he walked backwards, that stupid smile not leaving his lips. Rolling your eyes you turned back to the bar, leaning on it with your elbows, a sigh leaving your lips.

How could he just kiss you like that? You thought he at least had some respect for you, bit it seemed like he didn't. He was James Barnes for god's sake. Of course he didn't. You didn't know what you were thinking. He wasn't different from any man. A part of you believed that he might have been but he just proved it that he wasn't. Your mother would loose her mind if she knew what her 'nice young man' did to you just now.

You shook your head to get the thoughts out of it and signaled for the bartender to give you another shot. You drowned that one too as someone sat down next to you. You were ready to tell him to fuck off, thinking it was James again, but as you turned your head it was a man your age. You lifted your eyebrows, not being in the mood to deal with another self-centered man.

"What is a pretty dame like you doing here alone?" he tried to flirt, but he already lost you at the word he called you.

"I'm not here alone. And it's none of your business" you showed him a mocking smile and stood up ready to leave, your night already ruined. A hand locking around your wrist made you stop.

"Come on. I just want to make you have a good time" he smirked, but it left his lips as soon as you ripped your arm out of his hold.

"I don't care about your good time" you rubbed your wrist, his grip leaving the skin red.

"Okay. I tried being nice, but you clearly don't care for it. Maybe you like men when they are being a little more forceful? You like 'em rough?" he pulled you to his body by your waist, your hands flying to his chest trying to push him away. Why is this happening to you now?

"Let go of me" you squirmed in his hold, disgusted by him. Unfortunately he was stronger than you and didn't loosen his arms around you no matter how hard you hit his chest.

"You like this don't ya?" his breath hit your cheek as you tried to get as far away as you could.

"No, I don't. Stop" you were getting desperate, looking around for anyone to help you. There were a lot of people around, but none of them seemed to care. Tears gathered in your eyes.

Suddenly the man was pulled backwards by his collar, a fist meeting his cheek a second later, making you gasp. He fell down on the ground, but your savior didn't let him get away that easily as he hit him a few more times. You quickly stepped closer and that's when you saw his face. It was James. Your shock quickly dissipated as he lifted his arm again to hit the other man. You hands grabbed his forearm and you tried to pull him away, making him look at you.

"Stop it, James. He is already on the ground" you pleaded. A relieved sigh left your lips as he stepped away, his arm going around your waist to lead you away from the crowd that formed around you.

"Are you okay?" he stopped you in front of the building, the cold night air picking at your skin.

"Yes, I'm fine." you rubbed your arms, stopping your movements as he grabbed your arm that had the red bruise on it.

"Did he do that to you?" he almost growled, head turning to look inside the place.

"Yes, but it's fine. It doesn't hurt that much" you put your hand on his arm, trying to calm him down. Why did he care anyway?

The door opened and Steve walked out, a worried look on his face. you immediately pulled your hand away from James, stepping back.

"I heard what happened. Are you okay?" his eyes traveled over your whole body, trying to see if you were hurt.

"I'm fine, Steve." you forced a smile in his direction. In truth you weren't completely fine, but the boys didn't need to know that.

"I'll walk her home" James spoke up from next to you, making you look at him in surprise.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking home myself, thank you" you replied to him.

"I know that, but both of us would be more relaxed if someone was with you. And Steve was talking to a pretty woman before I left" he sent a knowing smile to the man. You looked at him, only to see him looking down at his feet, a blush on his cheek confirming James' words.

"Steve! What are you doing out here then?" you almost shouted at him. "Go back inside right now. I'll be fine." you waved him off.

"I'll go check on you tomorrow, okay?" he was already inching backwards toward the door.

"Yes, okay, just go" you laughed, happy for him. He walked back inside, leaving the two of you alone. "So you don't have to walk me home, just stay outside for a little while so Steve doesn't get suspicious." you forced another smile on your face.

"I will not let you walk around alone this late at night." he grabbed your arm that wasn't bruised and started pulling you towards your home.

"I've done it multiple times before" you argued, but walked alongside with him, your heart beating rapidly in your chest.

For the duration of the walk neither of you spoke a word, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. The silence between you was nice, letting you look around as he still held your arm, neither of you wanting to let go. He made you feel safe as you walked along the dim streets, a small smile playing on your lips.

"Thanks for walking me home" you reached your house, stopping in front of the door as you turned to him.

"Isn't there something else you should thank me for too?" he smirked, stepping closer.

"Well I was about to say it, but now I'm not going to" you put your hands behind you, leaning on the door.

"It's not only with words that you can thank me" he leaned closer, his face a few inches from yours for the second time that night. There it is.

"You know, I was thinking that you are not so bad while we were walking home, but you just reminded me why I don't like you" you smiled at him.

"And why is that?" he tilted his head to the side.

"You just can't keep it in your pants." you shook your head.

"Actually I wanted to apologize about earlier." he got serious, stepping backwards to put some distance between you.

"Earlier?" you asked back, confused as to what he was referring to.

"The kiss" he mumbled, looking down, almost as if he was nervous. But James Barnes does not get nervous.

"Oh." it was all you could say, surprise taking over your brain.

"So I'm sorry" he kept looking down.

"Uhm... it's okay, I guess?" you didn't know what to say to that, thoughts running through your mind a thousand miles an hour.

"I'm just gonna go now." he pointed behind him awkwardly. As he turned away you couldn't help yourself and you called after him, the alcohol in your system giving you courage.

"You are really not that bad, James." he turned back, surprise written all over his face, but he quickly covered it up by a smirk.

"Is that a compliment I hear?" you rolled your eyes at him. There was the James you knew.

"And it might be the last if you keep this up" you let out a smile. "But seriously, we could be friends if you didn't do what you do." you shrugged nonchalantly.

"What am I doing?" he asked, confused.

"You know, every time I see you, you have a different girl on your arm" you couldn't look into his eyes, a little embarrassed.

"You avoid me because of that?" his eyes widened.

"Yes. What did you think the reason was?" you furrowed your eyebrows.

"I don't know. I just thought you do it because you don't like me, not because you are jealous" he let out a laugh.

"I am not jealous, James. Get that out of your head." you looked away as a blush crept up your cheeks.

"Oh god you are blushing" he continued to laugh, the redness of your cheek only deepening. "I can't believe you like me" he mused.

"Okay, that is enough out of you. I'm going inside" you turned and reached for the handle as he grabbed you to turn you back around, your back hitting the wood of the door, his left arm on the door next to your face, his right circled around your waist. You let out a gasp at how close his face was.

"You didn't deny it" he whispered, his warm breath hitting your lips. Your mouth opened, realizing your mistake.

"I-" you wanted to defend yourself, but nothing came to mind. His right hand touched your face, palm flat against your cheek. You couldn't help but lean into his touch, closing your eyes for a second. Your eyes snapped open when you realized what you were doing and pushed his hand away. "I'm not one of your dames, James" you looked into his eyes. You couldn't let him treat you like any other girl. You refused to be another one night stand for him. A stable relationship you could work with, but being someone he called when he was bored was not something you wanted or could handle.

"No, you are not." he agreed.

"Then don't treat me like them" you pushed yourself more into the door. You were afraid. Not of him, he would never hurt you. Not physically at least. But you were afraid of what would happen. Will he leave you saying that he won't give up that lifestyle for you? Or will he stay with you?

"Never" he shook his head.

"I don't want to be one of many" you continued, trying to get him to understand.

"You know why I was always with a different girl?" he pulled away slightly.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to forget about you. I thought you didn't like me because you were always so distant. So I just wanted to find someone else, but none of them compared to you." he brushed his thumb along your lower lip. Your eyes met his as he lifted your head by your chin. "None of them were you" his nose bumped against yours. "I like you. I did from the first time we met" he finally confessed, your heart skipping a beat at his words.

"James" his name left your lips in a sigh. "Kiss me" he didn't need more as his lips latched onto yours, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy. His tongue swiped across your lip asking for entrance and as you opened your mouth, his body pushed you against the door, trapping you. It was a trap you never wanted to escape. His hands held your head, his thumbs stroking your cheeks as you arms were around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. Your heart beat rapidly as his hands traveled down your body, stopping at your waist.

A few moments later he had to pull away as both of you needed air, but de didn't go far, only enough for you to catch your breath. His forehead leaning against yours, noses touching, the two of you giggled into each others mouths.

"Wow" he mumbled as he left short pecks on your lips, unable to keep himself away from you. It was your first real kiss and he was already addicted.

"Stop it" you giggled and let him press one long peck on you before pushing him away. "I don't want you to get bored of that" you teased.

"I could never" he pressed another kiss on your mouth, making you laugh.

"Okay, I understand" you could barely talk as he still had his mouth on yours. He pulled you closer and rested his head on your shoulder.

"You are amazing" he murmured into the fabric of your clothes.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, James" you were glad he couldn't see your face as it was coated in a red blush.

"I'm just saying the truth" he pressed his lips to your cheek.

"I probably should get inside, before we wake up my parents." you sucked in your lips try to hide your smile.

"Maybe" he agreed, but made no move to let you go.

"You have to let me go for that to happen" you pulled away as much as you could.

"Then you shouldn't go" he teased, still holding you.

"I'll see you tomorrow, or today I should say" you reassured him and he let go at that. You straightened your clothes as he watched you. Looking up at him the softness in his eyes almost made you say 'fuck it' and spend the rest of the night with him, but you held yourself back. He turned and walked down the stairs, but suddenly ran buck up to you to press one more long kiss on your soft lips. You couldn't help, but let a smile break out on your lips as he pulled away to look into your eyes once more.

He was already out on the street when you remembered something.

"Hey, pretty boy!" you called after him once more, making him turn around with a big smile on his face from the nickname. "Good night" you bit your lip, trying to hide your own smile, but failing miserably.

"Good night to you too, doll" he playfully bowed down a little, making you let out a laugh.

If someone saw you that night, under the moonlight, they would have seen two people completely in love with one another, laughing, being happy that they finally found their missing piece that was in front of them the whole time. Eyes shining like the stars above them as they watched each other, only the moon being witness of their intimate moment.

Permanent taglist: @byatomoe

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[digitalgate02]

10 DAISUKE CHARMING POINTS!!

10 • He's Funny

He's very funny, ok. I love all his Daisuke noises (thank you Kiuchi-san😭🥰💖) that i'm still happy his new VA (Katayama) managed to get the gist of Daisuke's personality. He's loud and makes a ton of funny pitch noises when angry, when disappointed, when happy. And it's so fun to watch any scene with him. And let's not forget his funny facial expressions too!

9 • He's cute

Daisuke is so cute, his smile has the power of ten sunny days with a sweet breeze and it's a warm and comfortable day. His laugh is so adorable too. He has a cute face as well! Daisuke is so adorable, it's like a tiny fluffy puppy. It wants your attention and you can't resist to his cuteness 🥰

8 • He's humble and selfless

Daisuke has this tendency to not realize how cool he is. Since he's always asking for validation, he's pretty much selfless, polite and humble towards people. I wish he could realize he's already cool and amazing… Well, maybe someday he will!

7 • He has a good control over his negative feelings

Perhaps because he has the tendency to express all his emotions at its fullest, he's able to control his fear and negative feelings better than the others in his group. Also, being able to help others about this subject.

6 • He's caring and sometimes soft

Daisuke is rough around the edges, but he has some soft heart towards people he likes. He's pretty much softer with Chibimon than you can imagine. He's nice and gets concerned about the others' well-being to the point of preventing others from doing things alone or risk their lives in something dangerous.

5 • He's supportive of his friends

He will place a hand on your shoulder and scream motivational wise advice on you. He will definitely hear you out if you're venting. He will cheer for you when you're trying your best. He's very supportive of his friends!

4 • He's simple to understand

He's being simple minded means he's not thinking too hard on stuff, having a clear mind on what he wants and what he has to do, as he's very straightforward. He won't be overthinking and panicking on futile things. Also, he does not use overly complex words to speak, being very very easy to understand.

3 • He works hard, and prefers to work together with others

There's no "I" in "Team". Daisuke works hard and encourages others too, but he prefer to work together and reach their goals. When he's not in battle, he's preferring to play soccer with his friends and soccer teammates because it's fun.

2 • He can cook and speak in English fluently

Daisuke has given some hints through 02 about him being good at English. He reveals he wants to open his own ramen shop in New York, and starts working on those skills after his friends accidentally give him tips on how he could achieve this dream. I want to eat Daisuke's ramen now 😭🍜

1 • His outfits are stylish

YES, THE FLAME STAMPED JACKET I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Also his outfits in 02 & Kizuna materials are wonderful. His forte are the stripes, vests and hoodies in his wardrobe. The iconic orange sneakers too. His jackets are pretty stylish, and the sunglasses are a perfect match for Daisuke's spirit. Ah, let's not forget the iconic goggles which carries the bonds between Taichi and him 🤭👌😊💙🧡

[chelleztjs18]

Lost in Assistance - Ch. 43

Summary: Y/n is a professional celebrity's personal assistant in Hollywood got hired with two years contract to be the assistant of the famous and talented Elizabeth Olsen / Lizzie by her manager. Both Y/n and Lizzie hate each other since day one, and they have mutual friend. One is as stubborn as the other, will Y/n stay when Lizzie gives attitudes and tries her best to make her quit before the contract ends?

Warning: fluff, angst, smut (in future chapters), swearing words ( +18 only)

I do not own any pictures, name, brand, song titles or anything that I used in this story.

All chapters

A/n: Hello! Sorry for taking so long to get this done. This chapter is inspired by two songs. Surrender by Natalie Taylor and Sometimes (Backwood) By Gigi. This chapter started the same way like the previous one. It's not a flashback, it starts with the night before on Lizzie's POV. Well, buckle up! Enjoy the ride in this chapter. Happy reading!

*Saturday evening in New York*

Back at her apartment, Lizzie is having her dinner while reading her script. She gets distracted by a text notification from you. It’s a picture of a yellow sticky note with a song title and the singer. “Hi, Liz. I haven’t heard from you. I hope you are okay. I know you are busy. Sorry for bothering you but there is this sweet song I know you would like. I love the singer’s voice and the lyrics. I hope to hear from you soon, or see you soon.”

Her heart skips a beat as if it forgets how to beat when she sees it was a text from you. A smile slowly crept up on her face when she read your handwriting on the picture of the yellow sticky note that you texted her. After reading your text, she plays the song from you “Surrender” by Natalie Taylor and puts the phone down without replying to you then back to what she was doing but she can’t focus. She gets distracted with the song.

We let the waters rise

We drifted to survive

I needed you to stay

But I let you drift away

My love, where are you?

My love, where are you?

Whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

Whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

Can we, can we surrender?

Can we, can we surrender?

I surrender

No one will win this time

I just want you back

I'm running to your side

Flying my white flag, my white flag

My love, where are you?

My love, where are you?

As she listened to the song, her posture drooped and her shoulders slumped. Her chest feels heavy with sadness and her breathing slowed. She feels numb all over her body. The corners of her mouth slowly turn down. She then covers her eyes in the crook of her arm that lays on the table and starts to cry. Sorrow closed up her throat. She misses you. After a few minutes letting out her sadness through her tears, she sits up straight. She doesn’t care how much the crook of her arms is soaking wet from her tears. She swallows the lump in her throat. She sniffles and wipes her tears.

She stays seated. Her eyes stare into the distance on random spots of the room. She has lost count on how many times or how long you think about her the whole day. Once again, she thinks about the whole situation, about her conflicted feelings but this time the warm feelings grow stronger. Thinking about how nice it looks the two of you in the paparazzies pictures where both of you look like a happy couple. It makes her want to see you. She yearns for your presence. The pain of being away from you has become more and more unbearable.

She was going to use the week off to think more and then ask you to come back to work and see her again but she became more and more vulnerable from all the sadness from being away from you and all the yearnings. It’s driving her insane. It makes her doesn’t even care about the paparazzi and she will deal with later as time goes by perhaps. She knows it will not be easy, she’s not sure what she will do about it. All she knows, she wants to see you, see your smile. She wants to hear your voice calling her with all the pet names you want.

She gets her laptop and tries to book the earliest flight to you. As luck would have it, she found a flight for tonight. She quickly packs her bags, she grabs the framed picture of both of you. “I’ll see you soon, sweetie.” She smiles, feeling the warmth in her heart when she sees you in the picture as she puts it in her bag to bring it with her. She gets ready in excitement thinking to give you a surprise visit in the next morning. Thinking how she wants to jump into your arms and see your smile when you greet her with the pet names. She even plans to spend time with you and your mom in the facility. She wants to hold your hands, and then drown in your hugs taking every scent of you in each breath she takes. She wants to...kiss you.

The urge she has to call you and tell you that she’s coming to see you was so hard to fight but she managed to contain herself not to. She wants to see your smile when you are surprised with her visit. Five and a half hours flight feels like forever for her with her huge excitement to see you. She unconsciously keeps checking on time every so often. She leans on the window of her seat. All she sees is you and your smile, it makes her smile wider like she is under your spell. She falls asleep on her flight.

After the flight, and the drive home Lizzie finally went to her room. She feels so relieved that she is finally close to you again. She is only a few minutes drive from you. She can’t wait to see you in the morning, she even tries to go to bed early so the night passes faster.

_____

*Back to present day, Sunday in L.A*

The morning that Lizzie has been waiting for has finally arrived. She turns off her alarm a few seconds after it blares as if she has been waiting for it to go off. She gets ready right away, trying to look her best for you. As soon as she is ready, she doesn’t go to your house. She goes to get a bouquet of red roses for you, just like what you gave her. As soon as she gets to her car in the parking lot, she hears a voice greet her.

“Hello, Elizabeth, right?” She gasps in shock from hearing the heavy male voice that gives chills down her spine.

“Hi. I’m sorry, do I know you?” Her chest stuttered. Lizzie asks as she tries to stay calm and nice to the person. Little does she know, Clint has been watching both your house and hers. He saw that Lizzie got home last night and he followed her this morning. “We haven’t met but I’m sure you heard a lot about me from y/n, I’m Clint.” He tries to look friendly to her and offers a handshake to her. Lizzie gives a small wave, tries to disguise her panic feeling and fear with a forced smile.

“I don’t know why you come to me but please stay away from me.” Lizzie takes a few steps back from him. An alarm rang in her mind. “Please, listen to me. I just want to know how Leah is. I’m worried about her. I haven’t seen her. I love her. You might hear something bad about me but it’s not true. Y/n is manipulative and selfish. She has never liked me since she was a kid. I love her like my own kid but as soon as she has a good career and money she tries to separate me and Leah.” Clint tries to trick her with his fake sad face.

“No, I trust her. I don’t trust you because---” Clint cuts her off. “I’m manipulative? But has she ever told you what really happened? She lies. I didn’t do anything. She just wanted me to leave Leah. She is playing the victim. I am the victim. She is doing it to you too.”

“No, she is not!” Lizzie tries to not listen to anything he said but what Clint said gets into her head a little when she realizes that you never really talked about what happened but she is still fighting it but it gets worse when Clint continues. “I saw the pictures all over the internet. Do you really think she cares about you?

The pit of her stomach fell after she heard his question. Worry clawed through her. “She does. I know she does.” Lizzie retorted as she internally fights her doubt about you. “Well, you should see who she is with right now. That’s how manipulative she is.” Clint’s words get into her mind more and more.

“What do you mean? Who is she with now?” Her heart pounded, she slowly raised her voice. Oh Clint knows that she fell into the trap. “I don’t want to say anything, I want you to see it for yourself.” He added.

“I’m not buying anything you said. Leave me alone!” Lizzie quickly tries to get into the car and drives away. Her heart drummed after everything that happened. Her knuckles turn white as she grips the steering wheel so tight. She tries to refuse all the mind games that Clint did. She is so upset. Upset with what happened, upset with herself for letting his words get into her head but she is also upset with you even though she doesn’t know why. She is trying hard to remember all the good memories about you to fight all the doubts that slowly creep into her mind. She turns on all the love songs you gave her, to remind her of you. It slowly helps. She starts to calm down.

She arrives in front of your house. She takes a deep breath and releases it slowly. She grabs the flower she bought for you. She looks at your door from her car. She whispers to herself as if she is talking to you. “I’m here, y/n. I’m coming for you.”

She gets out of her car, walks excitedly yet nervous. Internally hoping that everything Clint said were just empty words. Hoping that you will open the door, only you. Nobody else. The bouquet of roses in her right hand and her left hand rings the bell. Anticipation is killing her. Once again, she lets out a breath slowly. A few seconds after she hears the lock with the view of the door knob is turned from the inside then the door is slowly opened.

Her heart dropped when she saw somebody else open your door. A woman with wavy black hair, dark brown eyes and tanned skin color in medium height greets her. “Hi.”

Lizzie tightens her grips on the bouquet as her hand moves lower, stays on the side of her body. The bouquet of roses that was held high proudly are now hanging low facing down as if it dies instantly just like her heart died a little when she sees the quite familiar stranger. Her eyes staring daggers at the woman that she thinks she knows but not sure who it is. “Can I help you?” Oh Lizzie hates her voice. Her voice burns her ears. That smile on her, she wants to get rid of it off her face in so many ways if it's possible. Her mind is spinning with many thoughts, one of them is if this is what Clint meant earlier.

“Yes, I’m here for y/n. Who are you?” She answers coldly then asks in the most intimidating way. “Oh yeah, she’s here. I’m Gwen and who are you?” Gwen asks, feeling Lizzie’s glare stab through her chest like a knife. Lizzie instantly gives her a death stare as soon as she hears her name.. Oh trust me, if a stare could kill, Gwen would probably be dead by now, instantly.

“Gwen? As in Gwen y/n’s ex??” Lizzie asked for clarification in gritted teeth, her eyes widened as she tilted her head. Her hand squeezes hard on the bouquet of flowers that if they can scream of suffocation, they would.

“Um yeah, but not for so long anymore. I’m working on it. Who are you again?” Just like gasoline to a burning fire, every word she said, her voice, and when she makes eye contact burns Lizzie more in rage.

The jealous blonde scoffed. “Who am I? I’m ELIZABETH OLSEN. I’m her girl---” She stops herself, realizes what she almost said then corrects herself. “I’m her boss. I want to see her.” She tries to calm herself down and she slowly raises her chin a little bit to show an intimidating bossy vibe to the black hair woman in front of her. “Oh yeah, I saw you on the internet with y/n in the picture.” Gwen answers and gives a challenging look and a smirk to her. “Babe! Love bug! Someone wants to see you here!” She calls you out loud with the pet name on purpose as she looks at Lizzie through the corner of her eyes.

All Lizzie wants to do is to let out the rage she has for what Gwen did to you. She wants to make Gwen know what pain is, the pain that she gave you. It would be a lie if she says she is not mad at you as well. She is disappointed with you. She tries not to jump into a conclusion but everything feels like ganging up on her to do so. After the last two weeks she lets herself hurt to give you time and space, and this is what she found. But mostly, she is hurt even more. Her heart bleed as if a barb wire wrapped around it so tight that squeeze the blood dry out of it.

Her heart drops when she sees you walk towards the front door. “Gwen, how many times did I tell--” You were interrupted by the view in front of you as you finally got to the door. Your heart was in your throat seeing Lizzie is here with Gwen. You know this is not going to be easy.

You see her with her angry face. No, not an angry face, it's a furious face. You never see her this furious since the huge argument you both had in New York, and this time is ever worse. But you know her very well, you know behind that furious face was a disguised sad feeling and it slices your heart to know that her heart is hurting right now.

"L-Liz, Hi. I'm so glad to see you again! What are you doing here? Are you done filming? Why didn't you let me know you are coming? I could've picked you up." You ramble in nervousness, worried that she will misunderstand Gwen's presence.

Ignoring everything you said, she steps in to give a kiss on your cheek as her effort to claim you as hers in front of Gwen and stays inside close to you, in front of Gwen that subtly forces her to move a few steps back. Then she asks you slowly in gritted teeth. "Y/n sweetheart, what. is. she. doing. here?" Her eyes flick angrily between you and Gwen. "Uh I--she uh, she--I" Gwen cuts off your stuttering. "We are actually working things between us out together, right babe?” Gwen gets closer to you and tries to hook her left arm to your right arm in front of her. You awkwardly try to pull your arms away from her to avoid getting Lizzie even more mad. “No, we are not Gwen.”

“So, tell me Gwen. What are you exactly doing here again? I thought you didn’t love y/n anymore?” Lizzie asks in a calm yet very sarcastic tone, her green eyes trying to lock on Gwen’s.

“It’s none of your business actually.” Gwen answers, staring back at Lizzie. The tension between the woman who cares about you and the ex who hurts you floats in the air. “Liz. Please, ignore her. Calm down. I can handle this.” You slowly try to calm her down as you try to touch her arms as you can see how mad Lizzie is. “What’s the matter, love bug? Are you scared that your boss knows about us?“ Gwen tries to add some more gas on Lizzie’s fire.

“This is between y/n and me. It’s our relationship but since you are so nosy and want to know, I will never stop loving y/n, I still love her and I come here to win her heart back. You are just her boss, so leave us alone.” Gwen keeps her gaze at Lizzie’s and grabs your hand once again.

You can see Lizzie’s annoyance flared, her very muscle tensed. Her blood boiled from Gwen’s words. Lizzie raises her right hand with the bouquet and slams it onto your chest for you to hold it with her gaze that never leaves Gwen’s. You quickly put the flowers down. She scurries towards Gwen very intimidatingly once again forcing Gwen to take a few steps back and stops trying to gain back her confidence in front of the angry blonde.

“Leave you alone?!” Lizzie scoffed. “Oh yeah, I forgot, LEAVING is your talent, that’s why you like that word so much.” Lizzie added another sarcastic remark. “How dare you talk about love, saying you still love y/n?!” Her voice starts to raise in so much anger and jealousy. “Liz, stop please. Ignore her. Don’t waste your energy on her.” Once again, you try to stop Lizzie from getting angrier.

“Shut up y/n! I’m not done with her.” Lizzie responds to you instantly as she raises her right palm in front of you to stop you talking. Gwen takes a step back for every step Lizzie takes as she starts to ramble until she is stuck between a wall and Lizzie. You follow her and stay close with her. “Lizzie darling, please calm down. She doesn’t even deserve your anger.” Everything you try to say to calm her down seems all in vain. All you see is the jealous and possessive Lizzie. You are surprised with her right hand moving back towards your direction to find your right hand and holding it as if she is trying to protect you, from Gwen, from the pain Gwen is causing you as she continues talking to Gwen.

“If you love her, why the hell did you leave her?! If you LOVE her, where have you been for the past fucking five years?! Leaving y/n in so much pain, do you have any idea how painful it was for y/n??! And you have the audacity to come back like nothing happened and to win her heart back?! Dare to dream! Because I’m not going to let that happen!” Her eyes flared with anger.

“You don’t know me, don’t know the real reason why I did what I did. So you don’t have the right to say anything about it!” Gwen argued back everything Lizzie said to her. “Okay, you two please stop. Come on, stop fighting please. Gwen, you need to leave Lizzie alone! Lizzie, love. Please come talk to me. I’ll explain everything.” You try to separate both of them but the two of them yell at you right away at the same time as they glare at you. “NO!” You shoved your hair back away from your face, don’t know what to do.

“I don’t have to know about you to know what you did to y/n was messed up. Y/n has moved on from you, she doesn’t love you anymore so you better leave her alone just like you did!” Lizzie points at the door.

“If she doesn’t love me anymore, if she has moved on from me, then why did she let me hold her hand? She let me touch the back of her neck, and let me rest my forehead on hers?” and just like that, a wave of pain and sadness washed Lizzie’s anger towards Gwen. She feels like just got struck by lightning. All of a sudden, she lost her words. You are shocked with Gwen's tricky words, you know right away it gets into Lizzie’s head. She quietly and slowly turns her head at you. Her green orbs look at you, sadness obviously overfilling her eyes. Her hopes disintegrated. Her spirits fell.

“Is that true, y/n?” She asks in a very low and painful tone. Gwen’s words feel like a knife to her heart. “Liz, I-I was having a panic attack, I was hyperventilating. I--” You couldn’t finish your sentence because Gwen cuts you off. “She let me calm her down the way I used to do to her.” Gwen added, knowing it will make everything worse between you and Lizzie.

“Oh shut the hell up Gwen!” You yelled at Gwen and you put your focus back on the Olsen sister next to you.. “Lizzie darling---” Lizzie raises her voice as she cuts you off. “DON’T you Lizzie darling me, y/n! Answer me, is that true?!” Her voice is breaking in almost a cry. Her throat thickened with sobs. “Y-yes but it’s not what you think Liz.” You tried to explain but before you can continue, you see her quickly walk out of the door. “Liz! Wait!” You try to run after her but Gwen holds your hand to stop you. “Let me go, Gwen!” You pulled your hand hard from hers and you ran after her.

“Lizzie, wait! Please.” You call her as you try to catch up with her. She walks faster to her car. You finally close enough to grab her hand. “Let me go y/n. I want to go home. Why don’t you just go back to your Gwen and let her calm you down!” She tries to pull her hand from yours.

“No. I won’t. I haven’t seen you for over two weeks, you came back for me. So I won’t let you go right now. Please, let me explain.” She halts her steps and turns around to you without saying a word. Her eyes say it all. She is disappointed, broken and sad.

“Why did you do this? I gave you time and space you needed but I came back for you with that psycho Gwen opened the door for me at your house. Manipulated me to let you go back here so you can spend time with Gwen?” Her voice is weak yet sounds angry. All her thoughts from what happened just now and Clint’s words collide in her mind and clouded her judgement.

“Manipulated you? What the hell did you mean? Where did that thought come from, Liz? I didn’t even know she was coming, Liz. I was as shocked as you were. I tried to kick her out but she stayed.” Your eyes furrowed, confusion is written all over your face as you try to explain.

“Maybe you didn’t try hard enough! maybe you wanted her to stay?!” Her emotion and jealousy makes her lips work faster than her brain, saying things she didn’t mean.

“You kidding, right? I told you, I didn’t even know she was coming. I told her to leave multiple times but she just randomly did her things there and didn’t want to leave like nothing happened. She wouldn’t come here and find me, none of this would happen to us if you didn’t send me back here, away from you!” As soon as you finish your last sentence, you know you said things you should not say. You know it will make it worse, and you were right. “Liz, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say the last part I said to you.

Lizzie chuckles sarcastically, her right hand on her forehead and her left hand is on her hips. “Oh so now you are the victim and these are all my fault?” She raises her hands up, her face shows disbelief as she rolls her eyes.

“Victim? Liz, what is going on with you? You are talking weird things, first you called me being manipulative and now you said that I’m playing victim? What has got into you?” You tried to hold her hand but she didn’t let you.

“Nothing. It’s just this whole Gwen thing with you, it’s--It’s--” She couldn’t continue as she is trying hard holding her cry back. She looks away so you won’t see the tears that pool in her eyes.

“I’m gonna go home now, y/n.” She walks to her car and gets in.

"No, please Liz. I still want to talk with you.” You plead. Begging her. “You need to figure your things out first before we talk about us!” Lizzie drives away with another broken heart pain in her. As she drives further, her tears start to overflow and roll down her cheeks. She tries to call Aubrey as she drives but no answer. She left a voicemail for her best friend. “Hey Aubrey, can you call me back when you can. Please.”

Your heart crumbles as you see Lizzie drive away. “I miss you, Liz. So much.” You whisper under your breath as you take a painful deep breath and let out a harsh one. Your eyes are teary but you try to hold your tears and wipe it. You walk back into your house. A weight settled in your heart, your steps are as heavy as your heart feels..

A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed today's chapter! Let me know what you think. As usual reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback are always appreciated. Follow me for more!

Ch. 44

Cheerio!

Chellez TjS.

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[likeahorribledream]

On The Run

Request: ''I had a bad dream'' with Steve Rogers. - @fangirllife98

Summary: After the incidents from Civil War, you and Steve are on the run together.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader / Nomad!Steve x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warning: Nothing triggering, I think? I suck at warnings. There isn't any physical description for the reader.

Notes at the end.

+ This is not proofread, I apologize in advance for all the mistakes you're about to see.

Steve Rogers had been your friend since he had come out of the ice. You used to work for SHIELD but you were neither an agent or an Avenger, you worked in the medical field and you had been hired to monitor Steve’s health until he woke up and after. You spent a lot of time with him and quickly became close friends. You both have very similar personalities and it made it very easy to get along. He could spend hours talking to you about his life from before and he could listen to you for hours as you tried to explain to him everything that was new and different.

He loved that you weren’t an agent or an Avenger, it allowed him to have his own little escape from that part of his life whenever it got to be too much. You were, and still are, one of his best friends and he trusts you with his life.

When he decided to go look for Bucky, he wanted you to come with him. In case Bucky needed medical help, you were the only person he’d trust around his childhood best friend. Of course, you went with him. You had listened to Steve tell you hundreds of stories about the trouble he’d get into with his friend, Bucky was too important for him to refuse to go look for him with Steve.

You hadn’t expected to become fugitives of the law, yet here you are a year later; running and hiding with Captain America.

Steve brought Bucky to Wakanda so that he could heal and understand what exactly happened to him, when he came back the feud between him and Tony was far from being over and since he went against the Sokovia Accords, he found himself on the other side of the law and since you had helped him, you were considered an accomplice and were on the ‘’wanted’’ list next to Steve’s name. Tony could have gotten them out of it but when Steve chose Bucky over him, he decided to let him fend for himself. Steve had given you a choice; he could get you a place to live in another country where you’d be safe from the authorities or you could stay with him but that meant you would have to constantly be on the move.

You’d much rather be constantly on the move with your friend, than staying in one place in a country you didn’t know without being able to see him for who knows how long, the choice had been very simple and easy for you.

After a year, the heat had died down and it allowed you to stay in one place for longer periods of time. Steve had grown a beard and let his hair get longer, it made it harder for people to recognize him. Not a lot of people knew what you look like, but you decided to dye your hair from time to time just in case someone might recognize you.

A few days ago, you and Steve went back to New York. It’s Steve’s safe place and it’s so crowded, it makes it hard for anyone to recognize either of you. Steve had found a shady motel in a shady part of town that accepted to be paid in cash, no IDs required and no questions asked. You each had a room, a door connected them and you always left it opened just to keep an eye on each other.

It’s hard to sleep. You haven’t had a single good night of sleep since you left with Steve, you were scared that if you fell into too deep of a sleep, you wouldn’t hear if someone came for you.

Tonight is your third night in a row at this motel, you were tired of eating food from the vending machines so you decided to go get some takeouts for dinner. Steve doesn’t like when you go out on your own but it was too risky for him to go with you, that’s why you mainly ate food from vending machines. After dinner, you took showers in your respective rooms. After your shower, you put on a pair of sweats and a tank top and sat on your bed, waiting for Steve to join you to watch a movie.

‘’Come on, old man.’’ You called out towards his room.

He was taking his time and you were anxious to get the movie started.

His head poked out from his bathroom door, his hair completely drenched.

‘’That nickname wasn’t funny years ago when you used it for the first time, and it’s not funny now.’’

You laughed and pointed at your smile. ‘’Speak for yourself, I personally think it’s funny.’’

He rolled his eyes.

‘’Come on, Stevie. I’m tired.’’

Steve squinted as he looked at the alarm clock on your nightstand. ‘’It’s barely 8:30. How am I the old man here?’’

‘’You were born at the beginning of the 1900s, I was born at the end of the 1900s thus making you old.’’

‘’Well, give me 5 minutes and I’ll be right there. You can start the movie, I’ll still be able to hear it from here.’’ He told you, going back into the bathroom but leaving the door slightly opened.

You did as he said, you pressed play on the movie you had chosen earlier and sat with your back against the headboard, pillows behind you to make it more comfortable.

Five minutes later, Steve emerged from the bathroom and sat down next to you. He lifted his arm to let you snuggle up against his body and then laid it on your back, his hand resting on your hip.

Movie night always meant cuddle time.

Though you loved Steve with all of your heart and he loved you with all of his, the last few months had started to get rough for the both of you. You had never realized how much you were fond of hugs and human touch until you couldn’t do either. You came to a mutual understanding that, to keep your sanity, you would have cuddle time and it had sincerely helped better both of your moods.

Once the movie was over Steve turned off the TV, gave you a kiss on your forehead and went back to his room for the night. As soon as the lights were off, you fell asleep.

You were woken up a few hours later by something touching your foot above your covers. You quickly opened your eyes and relaxed when you saw Steve standing at the foot of your bed.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ Your voice was barely audible as you were still half asleep.

‘’I- I had a bad dream. Really bad. Can I stay with you?’’ He whispered.

You could hear how anxious he was and that woke you up. You grabbed the covers that were around your shoulders and lifted them up. Steve quickly walked around the bed and joined you, settling under the sheets. You waited until he was completely laid down and lowered the covers on top of both of your bodies.

‘’Are you ok?’’ You whispered.

You were laying on your side, facing him while he was laying on his back, looking at the ceiling. He turned his head and looked at you. His eyes were looking at every detail of your face, trying to burn this image of you into his brain so he’d never forget how beautiful you looked in this exact moment.

Steve’s had a crush on you since the first day he met you. At first he didn’t think too much of it, thinking it was just because you were the first woman he’d seen in over 70 years. Then, you two became really close friends and his feelings only got stronger throughout the years but he was going through a lot and he didn’t think it was fair of him to drag you into his problems so he decided to wait before telling you how he felt. He was finally gathering up the courage around the time Bucky resurfaced and before he knew it the two of you were on the run and he was terrified to confess his feelings to you and that you’d reject him. You two literally only had each other, he couldn’t risk ruining your friendship. Not when it was the only thing keeping the both of you completely sane.

You were both so oblivious, it was almost painful. Steve thought he’d ruin your friendship by telling you how he felt and you were keeping your very similar feelings to yourself because you didn’t think you were good enough for Steve Rogers, America’s Golden Boy. Though you tried not to let it show, you were a very insecure person and you barely felt like you were good enough to be friends with him, there’s no way he’d ever see you as girlfriend material.

‘’I don’t think I am.’’ He finally answered, whispering too.

He laid on his side to face you. It was pitch black in your room, but street lamps outside still managed to peak out from between the blinds, allowing you to see Steve’s face a little better. Whereas with his enhanced everything, Steve could see you very clearly.

‘’What do you need?’’ You asked softly.

‘’You.’’ He answered without hesitation.

You had one hand tucked under your head and you reached out to the other one, brushing your fingers against his jawline soothingly.

‘’I’m right here.’’

He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the gentle touch on his jaw. When he opened his eyes again, he reached out over to you to wrap his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his chest. You were so close to him that you had to tilt your head back to be able to look at him while he had to look down. You moved your hand to the back of his head and played with his hair that was still a little damp from his shower earlier.

‘’Do you want to talk about your dream?’’ You offered knowing that sometimes talking about it helped him.

He shook his head no, his eyes on you and never looking away.

‘’I don’t want to talk.’’

His hand that rested at the small of your back was now moving up to cup the side of your face, using his thumb to gently stroke your cheek.

Somehow, Steve’s face felt closer than it had a few seconds ago. Your heart started racing and you were sure he could hear it. His thumb moved down, the pad of his finger brushed over your lower lip a few times. It sent shivers down your spine. Steve leaned down a little more, his thumb going back to rest on your cheek. His eyes kept flickering between your lips and your eyes. He was ready to stop at any sign of you being uncomfortable. He gently brushed his nose against yours and when you didn’t pull away, he finally kissed you.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you felt your cheeks heat up. Steve didn’t leave you enough time to kiss him back, as he pulled away quickly. Your eyes opened, scared to see the regret on his face but instead all you could see was how nervous he was.

‘’Is this ok?’’

You nodded as an answer, not trusting your voice to function properly. He quickly closed the gap between the two of you, this time giving you a chance to kiss him back. Both your eyes were closed, his thumb started moving on your cheek again and your hand that was in his hair slowly slid down his neck, then his chest to finally move under his arm and rest on his back. The kiss was slow, as if Steve was afraid to hurt you, but you both could feel all the emotions and feelings that you hadn’t had the courage to confess being put into this kiss. He pulled back, just enough to give you a chance to breathe. Both the kiss and how loved you felt leaving you a little breathless.

He looked at you and waited until you opened your eyes. The look in his eyes made your breath hitched in your throat. He had so much love in his eyes that you thought your heart was going to melt in your chest. He rested his forehead against yours, kissing the tip of your nose.

‘’You.’’ He echoed his thoughts from earlier. His voice was barely audible but he was so close that you could hear him perfectly. ‘’I just need you.’’

I am a big sucker for Nomad!Steve, look at that glorious beard!

I hope this wasn't too cringey. This was my FIRST TIME writing a kissing scene, so please be kind. I know it was probably really bad, I'm sorry!

Thank you to my dear @fangirllife98 for requesting this. I hope you liked it and that it fed your little Steve hunger for the day.

[Taglist: @n3ssm0nique | @lover-of-bucky | @beingagodsucks ]

If you want to be added to a taglist; Bucky taglist, Steve taglist, Missing Piece taglist, Blood Moon taglist or just the general taglist just let me know in the comments or DM me.

[black-arcana]

Taylor Momsen: My life in 10 songs

October 24, 2022 Words:Steve Beebee

Taylor Momsen has been facing the cameras since the age of two. A child model turned actress, she found her true calling on discovering Soundgarden in her teens. It was a road to Damascus moment, a crossroads where she chose to walk away from a successful career to pursue the thing that made her heart sing: rock’n’roll.

Though embraced by an ardent fanbase almost immediately with hits like Make Me Wanna Die, Taylor’s path with The Pretty Reckless hasn’t always been smooth. The band almost derailed in 2012 when a hurricane destroyed their studio, and – worse – Taylor sank into depression when her long-time collaborator Kato Khandwala died in a motorcycle accident in 2018. But through all the heartache, it has always been her own music that pulled her back to the light.

This is how...

Make Me Wanna Die (Light Me Up, 2010)

Taylor was just 17 when The Pretty Reckless released their debut album. This first single and video was so impactful that it’s now racked up nearly 113 million views on YouTube.

“It was the first burst of inspiration for this band and I still feel that every night onstage. It’s strange because sometimes you can play songs for 10 years and they start to feel old, but Make Me Wanna Die isn’t like that. It feels fresh every time. It has probably changed over the years, but only because it seems to renew itself. There’s a different kind of energy brought to it, depending on what show it is.”

Miss Nothing (Light Me Up, 2010)

The core of the song is about losing your identity – easy enough to do, you might think, when you’ve been modelling for photoshoots since you were a toddler…

“That’s still what it’s about but, again, songs tend to transform over the years, especially when you’re playing live. When you’re making a record you’re almost living inside the song – inside those emotions. It then goes further and you put it into a live setting. It’s not necessarily about the thing that I was initially writing about; it has become a more fun take on that. Of course it’s still very much about that feeling of losing your mind, but as time goes on it gets almost grander, if that’s the right word.”

Going To Hell (Going To Hell, 2014)

Title-tracking their crucial second album, this anthem was written in the wake of 2012’s Hurricane Sandy, which effectively destroyed the band’s New York studio.

“We lost everything. All the recordings, and all the gear. The studio was literally underwater. I’ll never forget writing this song – I spent 12 days sitting in my little shithole of an apartment with no power and freezing cold. I had just 12 candles – 12 days and 12 candles – and the song was written during that blackout. When it was finished it truly tied the album together. It was the title and the song that suddenly made all the other songs make sense, a fortunate burst of inspiration at a time that was otherwise tumultuous.”

House On A Hill (Going To Hell, 2014)

A more sensitive track and an epic departure for the band, here was a song that captured the political fire of its day.

“The world felt like it was in a chaotic place, and House On A Hill came from living in New York and feeding off the vibe and the energy of the people. There was a feeling of a great imbalance of power – you could almost sense that a revolt of some sort was going to happen. It felt like there was a weight on the world. The song is based on how people deal with inequality – and where that takes us in our lives.”

Take Me Down (Who You Selling For, 2016)

This organic blues and gospel-fuelled number revisits rock’s age-old story of making a deal with the Devil at a crossroads…

“I didn’t actually sell my soul to the Devil, but I definitely did give my life to rock’n’roll. I love the video for this – it was directed by Meiert Avis, a dear friend who also directed the video for Audioslave’s Like A Stone. This song was a departure for us – we wanted to create more of a band dynamic. A lot of it was recorded live. On Take Me Down we all just jammed it out in one room, kinda what rock’n’roll should be. It captures a mood that can’t be imitated. That vocal is actually just my demo. I was sitting in the studio just singing along – I tried it later but I couldn’t beat that initial take.”

Oh My God (Who You Selling For, 2016)

With Soundgarden and Nirvana clear in its genes, a bottle of pure rage and self-doubt gets uncorked in spectacular, stress-relieving fashion...

“I was lashing out in frustration, and songs that come this easily are few. It was like a journal entry where I was clearly in a state of some sort. I gave the words to the band and we worked on making a song that sounded how I felt. It has a lot of different emotions – anger, aggression, confusion and self-doubt. But it’s also a fun song to play live because I just get to scream it all out.”

We Will Rock You (with In This Moment and Lzzy Hale)(Mother by In This Moment, 2020)

There’s a Queen influence evident in The Pretty Reckless hit Heaven Knows, so when Taylor was offered a chance to sing on this cover of a classic, she didn’t have to think for long...

“I’ve known Maria [Brink] and Lzzy for a long time. Maria told me they were doing this cover for their new record and would I wanna sing on it. I was like, ‘Err, it’s fuckin’ Queen, of course I wanna sing on it!’ Do I like We Will Rock You by Queen? Of course! So I went into the studio, sang my part and sent it over to In This Moment. They then transformed it into the total gem that it is now. It has a different kind of sound for sure, and it was really fun for me to jump into their world for a short time.”

Death By Rock And Roll (Death By Rock And Roll, 2021)

The death of producer Kato Khandwala pushed Taylor to the brink of despair. The album that eventually resulted – and this title-track – was pure catharsis.

“When Kato passed I fell heavily into depression and substance abuse. To be bleakly honest about it, I gave up on life. The scariest part was that I was content to fade into nothing, but clichéd as it might sound, music saved my life. Writing is the place where I feel most free, and this song and album pulled me through into wanting to live again. The title Death By Rock And Roll is a phrase that Kato often used, and we ended up all saying it as a kind of motto – like a battle cry for life. When he died, that phrase resonated with me in a new way. And the first thing you hear when you push play – those footsteps – those are Kato’s.”

And So It Went (Death By Rock And Roll, 2021)

While the album also featured Kim Thayil and Matt Cameron from Soundgarden, on this belligerent firestarter no less a guitarist than Rage Against The Machine legend Tom Morello stepped up...

“You can tell it’s Tom – that unique sound. I felt this song was crying out for a solo by Tom – the voice he has through his guitar is so distinctive – and we were thrilled by what he did. Having grown up with a father who’d make me mixtapes, I then discovered bands like Soundgarden and RATM in my teens. It was pure and emotive and aggressive and sensitive all at the same time. The song is partly about young people taking a stand – it’s a different time period to House On A Hill, but history tends to repeat itself, and that’s also what made me think of Tom. You can sense that edge of revolt starting to happen again. I stay away from the word ‘political’, but it’s certainly social commentary.”

Harley Darling (acoustic) (Other Worlds, 2022)

There is beauty and humanity in imperfection, as this raw take on a song originally recorded for Death By Rock And Roll proves. It’s the most sensitive of tributes to Kato…

“It’s very much my love letter to Kato. We made it more of a duet, with me and Ben [Phillips, guitar] singing dual harmonies. It was done in one take, so what you’re hearing is essentially fully live. There’s also a new part in this version, because emotions are ever-evolving. Bereavement is something you never get over, but your feelings are continually transforming. The first time I ever sang that new part is on this very recording, and you can hear my voice crack. I bawled my eyes out after it was done.”

[babybatscreationsv2]

Chikan

Marvel | Starker + Peter/OCs

The first time Peter gets groped on a crowded subway, it was completely unexpected. All the other times... well, let's just say he enjoys teasing old business men. The only thing that could make it better is if Tony Stark would notice. 

Rating: Explicit

Warnings under the cut

Warnings: initial romnoncon, old man kink, exhibitionism, possessiveness

The first time wasn't his fault. It was a hundred damn degrees in New York and the only way to survive was to dress light and stay out of the sun. Which meant wearing a small pair of shorts and a thin t-shirt. He hadn't thought anything of it. After all, he'd never been sexually harassed before. It wasn't something he had ever thought to avoid.

So, crammed into a crowded morning train, Peter thought of his outfit other than that it was saving at least his legs from getting sweaty. His shirt was starting to cling to him. Someone brushed against his ass and there was no room in front of him to move without cramming his groin against the woman in front of him, therefore there was no where at all to move. He assumed it was an accident. Then it happened again. Just a light little touch. Then a firmer, more deliberate one.

Peter froze, mortified. The hand went away and he turned around to look. Behind him were several older business men, not one of them was younger than fifty. None of them looked at him and he had no way of knowing who it was. So he turned back around and tried to forget it ever happened. Until it happened again.

A rough hand palmed his ass, rubbing and squeezing. Fingers traced the bottom of his ass cheeks where they must have been sticking out of his shorts. The man behind him grabbed the waistband of his shorts and pulled him up. The material pulled up into his ass crack and he knew his full ass was out. His face heated, burning red. He didn't know why he didn't stop it. It would have been easy to whip around while that hand was still on his ass and see who it was and tell them off. But he liked it.

They rubbed and palmed and groped his ass. All the while Peter's mouth watered and his dick started to harden. A finger teased between his legs, touching him through the fabric. It felt unbelievably good.

He shifted, spreading his legs a bit. The man grew bolder, grabbing his crotch with his full hand, rubbing and squeezing him there too. Peter's legs shook. Then the train started to slow and the hand withdrew. Peter wanted to right his shorts, but he was so embarrassed that he couldn't even move. Not until the crowd began to push through the doors.

The second time it happened was entirely on purpose. Peter even went out and bought shorts in a thinner material so he could feel it better and he wore nothing underneath. He was nervous, but he hopped on the same morning train in the same car. He stood right in the middle holding on the strap above his head. It wasn't quite full yet so he hoped his groper would take the bait.

As people filled in, Peter didn't see any of the men from before. His heart sank with disappointment, but as the subway began to move, someone brushed his ass. He froze again. Then he relaxed. He tried to hide his smile. Someone else was interested.

He didn't think they were going to try again, but eventually they did, slowly growing bolder with each touch until they were palming his ass. Peter licked his licks. Fuck, he was addicted. They pulled their hand away and Peter risked looking behind them. They were all older, graying, business men, but different men than the last time. Some part of him wanted to turn around and beg to suck their cocks, but it scared to even think he could be that slutty.

He thought he had spooked the guy, but the hand came back, fully palming his ass. Peter wished he had something to rub his cock against. He was way harder than last time. Maybe because he could really feel the heat of that hand through the thin material.

A finger slid down his crack, rubbing when it found his hole. Peter moaned, biting the inside of his cheek in panic. He got a quick glance from the woman beside him, but she didn't bother to investigate.

When he rocked his hips against the finger, the man behind him must have realized that Peter was not an unwilling participant. He pressed closer to Peter's back until he could feel the heat of his hand. The smell of Barbasol filled his nose. He was gonna have to buy a can and start jerking off with the stuff.

The finger pushed, the tip of it slipped inside him. Peter's eyes went wide. He clamped a hand over his dick trying not to cum. He felt a breathy little laugh against his ear.

The hand withdrew and Peter let out a breath. He loved being touched, but he really didn't want to cum in his shorts. Yet, when the old man touched him again, he just spread his legs. He pulled Peter's shorts to one side and pushed his finger all the way in. It was slick, probably with spit, and it felt so fucking good. The finger pumped in and out. Then another pushed in.

Peter looked around him at all of the half-awake faces. No one knew that he was standing there, getting fingered, while they all dreamed of their morning coffees.

He felt the stubbly brush of a beard and chapped lips kissed the back of his neck. Peter bit down on the side of his hand, wishing he could scream, and he came in his shorts. The material was so thin that it leaked through, making a nasty stain. The man gave him another kiss, then left him alone. Peter covered the mess with his hand, face burning with embarrassment as he ran to the nearest shop to buy himself some new pants.

It became a regular thing. Peter started packing a change of clothes in a little drawstring bad. He kept wearing the tiny, thin, shorts and a thin t-shirt, every time he got on the subway. Hands touched and groped, usually staying on the out side of his shorts. Sometimes they didn't though and those were his favorite times.

This guy was feeling him up good, squeezing his ass cheeks to hard it might bruise. Then his hands went around to his front to palm his cock. Peter spread his legs and tried not to die on the spot because he was in fucking heaven. Then a second hand appeared, risky on a train. It slid up his abdomen and found his chest. Through his shirt then man rubbed his nipples. Peter could feel his hot, pervy, breath on his neck. He pressed his ass back, biting his lip when he felt his hard cock. He gave as good as he got, rubbing his ass against the man while he rubbed his cock and his nipples. When he pinched then hard, Peter thought he might faint. This couldn't be happening because it felt so fucking good.

Then the old man took the hand off his cock. Peter was disappointed for a moment only to stand shocked as he felt what was definitely a dick, rubbing against his ass. He rubbed it all over Peter's shorts, then slipped it between his legs, rubbing against his hole and his balls. Peter rocked his hips. He wanted him to cum on his thighs so bad. He squeezed them together, giving him something to fuck.

One hand held his hip while the other kept playing with his nipples. The old man slowly fucked his thighs. Peter felt him shake as he came, splattering mess all over his skin. He didn't play with his cock any more after that, just his nipples, leaving him hard and desperate when they left the train. Peter ran to the bathroom and jerked off in the stall using the stranger's cum for lube.

He had developed such a Pavlovian response to gray haired old men that even working in the lab was driving him insane. He's catch the subway, get so deliciously groped, change his clothes, and then turn up at SI only to rinse and repeat as he saw Tony.

If the man suspected anything, he said nothing, but he had to be aware of Peter's permanently red cheeks and how some days he came in with his nipples all hard under his shirt. There was one man who liked to play with them until they were raw and they ended up hard and sore all day. One time he forgot to change his shorts and he ended up sitting cum all day. He wondered if Tony could smell it.

He was always day dreaming about him. What Tony was one of the old men? What if he caught the subway one say and slipped in behind Peter and couldn't keep his hands to himself? That would be incredible. There was no way, though. Tony wasn't a pervert and he understood concepts like consent and personal boundaries. The problem was that Peter desperately wanted him to violate him.

Horny brains do horny things, though. Which meant that Peter was finding it increasingly difficult to remain professional. Especially on the days when he didn't cum. He had gone from gushing compliments to outright flirting. Flirting which was taking a very obvious and pointed turn.

"Have I mentioned that I love your hair?" Peter said one day.

Tony ran a hand through it. "It's getting pretty gray, huh? Bout time I had it dyed."

"No, I mean it. I think it's sexy."

"Sexy?"

"Yeah. You're kind of a silver fox."

"We'll I wasn't named Sexiest Man of the Year seven times for nothing." Tony winked at him.

Sometimes Peter caught himself staring. Especially when Tony got hands on, working in a tank-top with bend metal into shape. When Tony called him out, he panicked.

"Take a picture, kid," he teased.

"Uh, sorry. It's just uh..." he swallowed. "Your arms- I mean I- you're really strong Mr. Stark."

"All hard work, baby." He grinned.

Peter turned away and made himself look at something else. He couldn't be that oblivious could he? Not that Peter wanted Tony to know that he was hot for him. It would make things awkward.

Then came the day that Peter forgot to change his shorts when he really, really, needed to. Not only had he cum so hard that it had leaked through and there was cum very visible on the fabric, but there was a hand print on his ass from a guy smacking him as hard he could. A couple of people turned around at that one, but Peter had gotten good at hiding his reactions and no one said anything.

Tony looked him over, hands tucked in his pockets. Peter held eye contact only due to becoming a deer in the head lights and feeling physically unable to move as he realized why Tony was looking at him like that.

"What's up, Pete?" Tony popped his lips. Was he angry? He looked kind of angry.

"I uh... what's up with what, Mr. Stark?"

The look he got at that was even worse. "You keep coming in here, looking like sex, stinking like it too, and it's fine. I get it. Your in your twenties. You're young and horny and that's great, but we need to set a boundary here because you're making me insane."

Peter stared. "I'm making you insane?"

"Yeah. I don't know what orgy your going to that happens at six am every morning, but I do recommend reigning it in."

"Uh..."

"I was a party boy so I have no right to nag, but at least tell me you're getting tested."

The look he was getting was such an odd mixture of pain and concern that Peter couldn't help it when he blurted out, "I've been letting old men touch me on the subway-"

Tony blinked. Rapidly. "You... I'm sorry, you're doing what?"

"It wasn't my fault the first time," he babbled, trying to explain. "It was just really hot out and I was wearing short shorts and this guy started feeling me up, but I really liked it so I bought even shorter thinner shorts and now every morning a different guy touches me and sometimes I cum in my shorts and I make a mess and I usually change before I come inside- I'm so sorry, Mr. Stark."

There was silence for a moment. "Oh. Alright. That sounds-"

Peter's eyes stung with tears, but he kept rambling. "Bad. I know. Someone assaulted me on a train and I liked it because I'm sick and I'm horny for old men and I think I'm gonna throw up now."

He bolted, running for the bathroom. When he got there he heaved, but nothing came up. He sat on the floor, crying his eyes out. Obviously Mr. Stark would think he was gross or insane. Obviously that was the stupidest thing he had ever done and he could never take the subway again.

The bathroom door pushed slowly open. "Pete? You okay?"

Peter sniffled. "I'm fine. You don't have to come in here."

"Yeah, I do." Tony walked in and crouched beside him. He waited until Peter peeked at him from behind his knees. "There's nothing wrong with you. Yeah, its not good that people are touching you without asking first, but there's nothing wrong with you for liking it."

"Really?"

"Really. Come on. Let me make you a drink."

"It's like seven am."

"Sometimes you gotta day drink, kid."

They sat together while Peter sipped something strong and Tony had a coffee. They didn't say much or really anything. Once Peter was calm, it was like the whole thing had never happened. He went and changed his clothes and they got to work same as always.

Then the next morning, Peter got on the train. The first thing he noticed was a familiar cologne. The scent had his toes curling already. It must have been one of his regulars behind him. He closed his eyes, already excited as a hand palmed his ass. They felt him up good, with greedy handfuls, like they owned his ass. Peter pushed back for more. The hand slid down, feeling his thighs, then up to his chest to tease his nipples. A beard scraped his neck.

"Is this what you like?" Tony whispered in his ear. Peter froze. What was Tony doing here? Why was he touching him? Was he making fun of him?

"Don't worry, baby boy. I get it now. This is why you've been flirting. You wanted me to be the one touching you, hm? Is that it?"

Peter nodded.

"Dirty boy. I'm old enough to be your father."

Peter shivered. He looked around, but no one seemed to be listening.

Mr. Stark didn't have the same reservations the others did. He grabbed Peter's arm and forced the crowd to move aside so they could stand by the door. Peter faced out toward the full train while Tony was behind him. His hands rubbed his cock and palmed his ass. Peter's legs shook and he pressed kisses to his neck. He gasped as Tony's cock slipped between his legs.

"You feel that, baby? That's what you did to me. With your tiny little shorts." He grabbed the back of them and pulled them up so his ass was out and the material was tight against his cock.

"Your old men every put it inside you?"

Peter shook his head. "Well I'm going to." He whimpered.

"You want that don't you?"

Peter nodded. He squeaked, biting down on his lip when Tony pinched his nipple. "You gotta promise me something."

Peter nodded again. He'd do anything for Mr. Stark already, but now he was offering his cock for it. Nothing was off limits.

"No more strange old men. You want an old man to touch you then you call me, got it?"

Peter nodded his head. "Tell me, baby."

"Yes, sir," he whispered.

"Good boy."

His cock was slick with lube when it pressed against his hole. Peter pushed up on his toes and Tony pulled him back on it. It felt so big, forcing its way inside. Peter trembled, barely standing on his own. He couldn't help it when his body started to move, rolling his hips to fuck himself deeper.

"That's it, baby, good boy," Mr. Stark purred. "I'm gonna fill your little hole and you're not gonna change your shorts. Do you hear me?"

Peter nodded. "Yes, sir."

"That's right. Your gonna let my cum drip out all over you. Let it dry on your skin. Your gonna be my nasty little cum dumpster today. You deserve it for not coming to me first. You let those other men touch you. But you're all mine now right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good boy. Keep grinding on my dick. Make yourself cum in your little shorts like a dirty little boy."

Peter gripped the bar in front of him. He closed his eyes and hoped no one was looking at him. Tony fucked him slowly, barely moving, but it was enough. Getting fucked by an old man on the subway, even if that old man was someone he knew, was way too fucking hot. Tony's hand slipped down over the front of his shorts and Peter's eyes went wide. His hands clasped over his mouth. He groaned low in his throat trying to hold it in. The guy in front of his gave him an odd look, but decided to mind his own business.

"Good boy," Tony purred. Peter shivered all the way down to his toes. "Squeeze my cock, baby. Milk it."

Peter chewed his lip and his did his best to obey. Tony's stubble burned his skin as he ran his lips along the side of his neck. Didn't make a sound, but he gripped Peter tight as he came. Peter felt wet inside as he pulled out. They fixed their clothes and stood waiting for the train to stop.

The next day, there was a car out front of his apartment. No more subway. Just Tony, feeling him up and making him cum in his pants as they rolled through the busy morning traffic.