#i feel like someone could psychoanalyze me based on my favorite characters

[cryptic-corvids-blog]

i wonder what all of my favorite d20 characters says about me. we’ve got adaine, ayda, riz, tula, liam whilemina, evan kelmp, antiope jones, k.p. hobb, skip and honestly so many more

[jack-of-all-trades-21]

My brain came up with a very specific thing for Chishiya (which, beware, is my interpretation of his character), that kind of reminds me of something I've written before but this takes a very different route and also has a different format:

So my thought initiates from the idea that Chishiya definitely can be or become emotional, even if we might have not seen him much like it (or at all).

Since we share the same mbti I am kind off basing my things off of that, but it is also extremely humane to show bursts of emotions.

In short, he can for sure become frustrated when the moment calls for it.

When this happens, Chishiya might think that the universe is pulling his decisions and not him, like it is some sort of role he has to play because it fits the scene.

I think as an intj we are often watchers; Chishiya enjoys watching (much like we see him do during games in the show) and hopes not having to interfere with everyone's true nature. This is simply the most interesting and entertaining thing for him. So when he loses his temper or feels tears well up in his eyes he still feels like he is watching, whilst his body is driven by thing he "can't" control.

So I'm imagining a situation like the following: Chishiya is put into a spades game, and a difficult one at that. Normally he goes into games open-minded, though for this one he did not mentally prepare. Maybe it is due to his energy levels of that day or just his particular wish to do a diamonds or hearts game, but he really was not looking forward to an extreme physical challenge.

Additionally, and this is more for fun in my head, he is wearing his favorite white vest. This because he had a feeling beforehand it was not going to be an exhausting night, yet here he was proven wrong. He does not even acknowledge that this was a feeling; maybe too stubborn to admit that he was using his heart and not his head for once.

Then, it rips. His crisp hoodie is sure to not make it out this game alive. Normally he would stay pretty composed under things like these; his clothes are replaceable and it's not anything he could help anyway. Though today Chishiya feels a lot, mostly frustration and disappointment.

The sudden surprise and adrenaline that came with this game make him lose his composure. As much as he should be happy/satisfied to make it out alive, he is overwhelmed with negative feelings.

This only really happens when he is aware he can feel this way. For example when no other people from the beach joined the game. His surroundings allow his behavior; there were no other members of the beach in the game with for who he had to uphold himself.

And so the rip in his favorite jacket starts to resemble the crack in his normally perfect composure.

If we want to push it even further, we could introduce interaction with someone in the game with him.

With no clue on how they made it even out alive like him (their physique was not promising for spades games), there is someone by his side that is all too eager to aid him.

Their kindness and sociability almost trigger him more. Though he decides to play along. First, because they claim that they can fix his jacket. And second, because Chishiya just loves to see things play out.

He finds himself inside a makeshift atelier (it's just a room inside a rundown building but filled with all kinds of paintings and sculptures). The artist themself scurries across the room to a desk with coils of thread and such.

Now about Chishiya's scene partner: they didn't seem like the type that wanted to be defined or put inside a box. Though in the psychoanalyzing thoughts of Chishiya, he took a guess that they're numbing the pain and shock of the borderlands with their arts. After all, some attempt to deal with things you cant control by pretending to have control.

This way of living can actually anger Chishiya more than you'd initially think. I think this is due to a weird form of jealousy. He thinks he is not able to be as empathizing with anyone like them, let alone a stranger. However, he also believes it is in his nature to be this way (not realizing he can choose his behavior). He also knows that the kind stranger is dealing with things wrongly. Escapism in the borderlands is the dumbest coping mechanism he has seen anyone portray (probably from his realism standpoint). He could think you're wasting your time on materialistic and meaningless junk, whilst there are so many better things worthwhile (training, gathering food, finding a way out of the borderlands, resting,..). And the fact that you are a kind person makes it even harder for him. I am kind of reminded of Arisu here, also too kind for his own good if you get what I mean. Chishiya is at that moment so fed up with the idea that people like him easily can manipulate people like them.

Now how I see him out all of the things he is feeling can be through two ways. He either bottles up everything, can't sleep for a while due to all kinds of thoughts in his head he can't place, and remains like that until he can find logical reasons as to why certain things happened. Or, he snaps at the person he met, desperate to make them realize that the world they're in is real (or that it at least should be treated that way).

Chishiya assumes he's helping you out that way (like it's the thing he should be doing). Though how he then returns this favor is really up to how dirty-minded you view Chishiya.

(What better way to give someone a wakeup call of how real the world is by sharing physical intimacy?)

[vanillawaiver]

i tried to figure out the enneagram types of dream smp characters

have you ever wanted to know the enneagram types, and therefore motivations and fears, of your favorite dream smp characters? that’s a rhetorical question. don’t answer. this post contains a quick explanation of the enneagram and an analysis for every included character. i’m just gonna put it all under the cut.

i’d absolutely love to hear your thoughts!

ENNEAGRAM EXPLANATION

a quick low-down on the enneagram, for those who don’t know:

the enneagram actually refers to a funky circular graph, numbers 1-9 on the outside that depict 9 different personality types. each type is adjacent to two other types around the circle (see image for clarification). the two types on either side are the possible wings for that specific type, a wing being an additional set of personality traits alongside the main personality type. an enneagram type is written as [type]w[wing]. for example, my enneagram type is 4, and i have a type 5 wing, so my enneagram type is 4w5.

(the lines through the inside of the enneagram won’t be mentioned in this post, but you can find more information on them online if you’re curious. i won’t link anything because links can be sketchy)

the nine enneagram types are mostly easily explained by their basic fears and basic desires. the enneagram is intended to explain the “why” behind someone’s actions, which is why it’s so hard to type someone else. you cannot get inside their head to find out their true motivations. however, today i am working with entirely fictional characters and not the content creators themselves, so i give myself a free pass. please don’t go around psychoanalyzing your friends or people you don’t even know and jumping to conclusions without their input lol

also all of these are just what i think ! if you (respectfully) disagree, i would actually love to hear your opinions - you are probably right and i am probably wrong.i don’t watch every stream or even know of every event, and my reasoning is probably weak at best. enough rambling, here we goooo

the grouping will be by type, just because… idk how else to organize this.

again, /rp /rp /rp ! i don’t know these ccs in real life and will not pretend to. i’m talking about minecraft roleplay.

(also, i didn’t proofread this. sorry fnjakdfda)

type 1: the reformer

principled, purposeful, self-controlled, perfectionistic

desire: to be good, to have integrity

tubbo - type 1w2

tubbo is a classic example of a type 1 being put into the worst possible situation for their current mental state. tubbo was the moral and sensical anchor for tommy’s more eccentric and self-centered actions, and they functioned as this duo UNTIL tubbo was made the president of l’manberg. tubbo’s more self-critical tendencies were amplified because his actions had so much weight. tubbo is quick to turn against and polarize those he sees as “evil”, making broad generalizations like “technoblade is wrong” and “tommy is good”, regardless of all the moral gray areas, and even changes his mind drastically between them as he seeks the right answer. (ex: exiles tommy, but then decides it was the wrong idea, and now seems to agree with everything he says again.) i think part of his flip-flopping comes from a sense of people-pleasing and generosity, again amplified by his position as the (now former) president of a nation.

type 2: the helper

generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, possessive

desire: to feel loved/appreciated

quackity - type 2w3

(as far as i know) quackity’s first major action on the smp was to run for president. wilbur and tommy wanted quackity (as part of swag 2020) to share the votes of the two parties in order to ensure a victory over schlatt. however, quackity acted out against them because he felt used instead of appreciated for his ideas. schlatt promised him at least some amount of respect, so quackity switched sides regardless of what was better for the smp at large. i believe quackity kept looking for approval from others, but also some sense of accomplishment, by founding mexican l’manberg (is this even canon…idk but i liked it), starting the butcher army, and trying to bring schlatt back to life. quackity even fought technoblade despite being grossly unqualified and i believe this is due to the martyr mindset that often comes with unhealthy type 2s. 

type 3: the achiever

adaptable, excelling, driven, image-conscious

desire: to feel valuable

nihachu - type 3w2

(at the time of writing this, niki hasn’t had a ton of canon screentime, so this is mostly based off of the doomsday stream.) when in emotional distress, niki applies her type 3 ideas of being the best she can be to others, hyperfocusing on “teaching them a lesson” by destroying l’manberg. unhealthy 3s also tend to become jealous of other people’s happiness and success to the point they attempt to destroy it, perhaps explaining how niki’s character felt that no one wanted to listen to what she had to say about the political state of things. i see niki as a character that values her image in relation to others, hence the 2 wing. when fundy showed her respect, she became even more sure of herself, and this seems to be the kind of thing she is after.

schlatt - type 3w4

much like ghostbur (as mentioned later), schlatt is a very exaggerated character. it’s hard to type him, because the enneagram focuses around people who behave in the way real people do, and schlatt is a larger-than-life villain. i’ve typed schlatt as a 3 because of his narcissistic tendencies. schlatt not only wanted to be but believed he was integral to l’manberg’s continued function. unhealthy 3s tend to be devious and manipulative in order to hide their own wrongdoing, like how schlatt exiled the main opponents of his rule. schlatt doesn’t have the emotional introspection of a 4, only the temperamental self-absorption, but i think this is the best i can do lol

type 4: the individualist

expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, temperamental

desire: to be significant, to find identity

tommy - type 4w5

most of my reasoning for tommy’s typing comes from his time in exile. tommy displayed an impressive connection to his emotions, maybe just out of necessity because he was alone. his constant cry was that no one cares about him, but not in the way a 2 may fear the same thing. tommy feared he had faded from significance. when he felt this way, he was quick to make rash conclusions and decisions. he is self-centered, caring more about his discs than about anything on the server. the 5 wing is there because of tommy’s constant assertion that people pity him when they show basic human kindness. he dreads others viewing him as incapable.

type 5: the investigator

perceptive, innovative, secretive, isolated

desire: to be capable and competent

awesamdude: type 5w6

is sam incredibly important to the plot? not as i write this. but i don’t want to leave type 5 empty. sam does cool redstone and built a cool prison. he’s super swag. i’m too lazy to attempt to do an analysis. this is just what i believe to be the objective truth on his character. give sam your primes.

type 6: the loyalist

engaging, responsible, anxious, suspicious

desire: to have security and support

wilbur (alivebur) - type 6w5

(pls disagree with me on this. this was so hard and i didn’t start watching dream smp until after the original “it wasn’t meant to be” moment sjkdfadkl) it’s right in the l’manberg national anthem. a place men could go to emancipate the brutality of their rulers. wilbur created l’manberg for what i interpret as security reasons. a peaceful land without americans. as an american, i understand completely. wilbur demonstrates the tendency of 6’s to shun outsiders and to turn to hysterical violence in times of distress. wilbur’s final action before his death was to blow up his safe place, because he believed the security had been tainted. i have typed wilbur with a 5 wing almost exclusively because of the intentionally radical beliefs that unhealthy 5s exhibit, becoming obsessed with blowing up the place he once called home.

type 7: the enthusiast

spontaneous, versatile, distractible, scattered

desire: to be satisfied and content, to avoid pain

fundy - type 7w6

fundy grew up in constant distress, what with his dad kinda losing it and the constant political turmoil. fundy has acknowledged that there is nothing that comes from conflict except for personal gain. fundy is selfish (taking netherite meant for everyone, hardly taking other people’s feelings into account) by nature of the society he was born into. like most distressed 7s, he has mood swings and comes off as demanding. i gave fundy a 6 wing because of what i see as the origin of his issues: a lack of support and stability. because of this, fundy often seeks external solutions (material possessions) instead of internal ones (fucking THERAPY OH MY GOD).

badboyhalo - type 7w6

“l’manberg? pogtopia? who cares?” :D

type 8: the challenger

self-confident, decisive, willful, confrontational

desire: to protect themselves, to be in control of their own life

dream - type 8w7

(warning, a lot of this typing is based on my own theories about the smp, because dream doesn’t stream rp to give us his own perspective.) dream claims that his motivation, at least presently, is to cause as much chaos as possible, but this has to come from a more philosophical place. dream is the one who started the server, and, i believe, canonically created the world they all populate. dream’s rule was originally questioned by the creation of l’manberg, which he interpreted as a personal attack. as a type 8 would, he is attempting to destroy all that does not conform to the vision he has for a peaceful, unified server. this may make it seem like dream should have 9 wing, but i don’t believe stability factors into his reasoning. dream seeks fun, for himself and others, and also finds this by causing chaos, as mentioned before.

technoblade - type 8w7

now, just because techno and dream have the same enneagram typing here does not mean they are at all similar. techno also lashes out at things that do not conform to his vision (anarchy) but has a stronger connection to his 7 wing. he wants to protect himself because of the comfort and happiness that would provide, not exclusively to be in control. he cares more about the pain and suffering caused by the government. still, i don’t think techno’s primary motivation is to be happy, as he still causes harm and puts himself in danger in order to achieve his goals. when a type 7 would become depressed and isolated, techno decides to spawn six withers. to each their own.

type 9: the peacemaker

receptive, reassuring, agreeable, complacent

desire: to have inner stability, to avoid loss

ghostbur - type 9w1

more than anyone on the server, ghostbur is a two-dimensional character. (absolutely not meant in a negative way. i adore ghostbur as both comic relief and a consistent character. ghostbur simply doesn’t behave like a normal person, and that is the point.) this makes it difficult to type him, but i tried my best. ultimately, ghostbur cares about others, but not in the way a 2 does. blatant negativity from people he interacts with doesn’t affect him in the slightest. he hands out blue because he is good, hence the 1 wing, and not to be loved. the only time (i can remember) that ghostbur has expressed anger was when friend the sheep was killed in techno and dream’s terrorism upon l’manberg. loss is the only thing he seems to be afraid of, and he applies this to all people within the smp. 

philza - type 9w8

to put it nicely, philza is a mediator. to put it not-so nicely, he doesn’t give a fuck. philza has actually achieved much of the goals a 9 has, making him an anomaly on the smp. (most every one of these characters expresses extremely unhealthy characteristics of their type.) philza is accepting of others, and does more listening than speaking. however, philza still feels the effects of loss from murdering his own son in cold blood (just minecraft things <3) and presumably fears losing something else important to him, thus forming few attachments (ex: didn’t care his house in l’manberg got blown up, didn’t react much to tommy’s betrayal.) i typed him as a wing 8 because of his healthy self-confidence and confrontationalism.

please keep in mind that this is all referring to the dream smp characters these streamers portray. i don’t claim to know anything about their deeper philosophical reasoning for whatever they do irl. not really on that parasocial type beat, ya feel me? i would love to hear your thoughts.

 thanks for reading!

[marlettwrites]

11/11/11 tag

I was tagged by the lovely @marie-writess! Thank you! Sorry this took me so long, I was really dragging my feet on writing my own questions.

1. How heavily do you plot before starting your story?

I like to make sure most, if not all of the details are planned out. I may change them later as I write, but it helps me a lot to know exactly where I want the story to go. If I don’t do this, I end up getting stuck. A lot.

At the very least, I like to have all my major plot points planned. Where are the characters starting? Where are they going? How do they get there, and what major obstacles do they encounter along the way?

2. Do you have writing schedule? If so, what does it look like?

I wish. I probably should start planning one. Right now, I write when I have the time and/or energy.

3. What are some common themes in the things you write? Is there anything that you almost always seem to include?

Okay, so found family. Always.

I’ve also been noticing a theme of family in general in most of my works. Often, there will be some form of familial conflict that is integral to the story. In A Curse of Healing, Jude is fleeing an abusive family and Kul is at odds with his dad. They find family within each other. In another story, a closeted trans teen is living with his anti-LGBTQ+ parents and siblings, in another one I have an Asian-American teen born to immigrant parents who doesn’t really understand everything his parents did for him and he’s kind of a little shit about it, and in yet another story I have a stay at home mom who feels like she’s losing touch with her husband and daughter.

So yeah, there’s a bit of a theme of a huge family divide that can either be fixed through mutual understanding, or ‘he/she/they is toxic, get the fuck out of there now’.

Also, not to be cheesy or anything, but I totally have a running theme of the power of friendship going as well.

4. What is the best piece of writing advice you’ve ever had given to you?

Writer’s Block? Don’t know her.

If you can’t think of what happens in your story next or how to word it, just write whatever is on your mind so you can blow your metaphorical nose. Once the clog is gone, you will be breathing freely.

5. What are some of your writer dreams? fears?

For dreams, I want to inspire people (specifically LGBTQ+, disabled, and POC youth) by showing them that they can be the hero of the story too. Really, I just want to help build a world where there is no ‘default’ character and a story with any kind of representation isn’t met with cries of ‘THAT character can’t/shouldn’t be a POC/trans/disabled/gay/a woman/muslim because *bullshit excuse for bigotry*!’

My biggest fear is that my ability to write won’t match up with what I want to do, and I’ll end up harming those groups instead of helping them.

6. When it comes to writing love are you more drawn to platonic or romantic love?

I love me some good platonic love. I adore sweet, wholesome friendships in stories. However, that doesn’t mean I’ll shy away from romance.

Although I can only think of two stories I have planned where a romance takes center stage

7. What weakness in your writing are you currently overcoming or have overcome?

I’m working on both writing and reading more regularly. I’ve had my nose stuck in a book since I first learned to read, but after my sophomore year of high school, I just kind of... stopped reading. 

I don’t fully understand why that happened, but I think a big part of it is that I pick up books based on how similar they are to the ones I want to write (because they’re all I want to read) and then I feel disappointed when it’s not MY book.

I know, I know, it’s stupid and paradoxical.

8. What do you see as your greatest strength as a writer?

I can do a grammar and spelling real good.

Okay, but seriously though. I try to make my characters complex beings that feel real. I want complicated relationships, moral quandries, and ‘oh shit’ moments of self-discovery.

People better be able to spend hours psychoanalyzing the characters up in this bitch.

9. Is there a genre you thought you’d never write in that you have? What are the genres that currently you feel you’d never write?

Honestly, not really? I’ve always loved reading fantasy and sci-fi, and that’s all I can think to write right now. If we’re counting subplots, I never thought I’d be able to write anything romantic, but then Jude and Kul came along and whOOpS!

Currently (and probably forever and ever until the end of time) I will never write erotica. Not because I think the genre is ‘inferior’ or whatever (it’s certain to present its own unique challenges, and I’d assume is as difficult to plan and execute as any other genre), but because I am extremely sex-repulsed. Just reading about two characters making out makes me extremely uncomfortable. I wouldn’t be able to do it.

10. What kind of characters do you struggle to write? Why do you think that is?

Oof, uhh... probably really crafty inventive characters. I don’t know enough about the way things work to come up with a rube goldberg on the fly.

But I’m going to have to learn, because guess what kind of character Kul is?

11. Who or what was your biggest motivation to start writing? Is it still the same today?

Okay, so this was a whole process for me, and I kind of have to write out the whole story now. Sorry not sorry.

I hated writing up until one particular assignment in the fourth grade. It was a very specific turning point for me. I had been creating fan characters for awhile before this happened, but what I didn’t realize while crafting their (not so) carefully thought out backstories, was that I was moving along the writing process.

So we get an assignment. We have to write a story about a quest in the fashion of a Greek myth. There must be a character who is sent on a heroic journey to do a thing, and there must be exactly three obstacles that get in the way of the hero’s goal.

I don’t remember exactly what I wrote, but I do recall that it involved my Sonic OC, Crystal Amber Fox. She was an anthropomorphic fox with ice powers and pieces of amber embedded in her body because I thought it looked cool, I guess. She was also the princess of the ice kingdom, and her parents sent her on a quest to... I think slay a dragon? I think she also had to take the prince of the fire kingdom with her (a black hedgehog with flame designs on his quills. Aptly named ‘Flame’, if I’m remembering right. Also, I think he was actually someone else’s OC that I saw on DeviantArt and subsequently went ‘Hey! Crystal should date him!’ To the creator of Flame the hedgehog, whoever you may be, I am deeply sorry for stealing your OC and putting him in a Greek-inspired epic without your permission).

Anyway, there was a swamp and a magic sword and a dragon that they were supposed to slay, but I doubt they actually did because I’ve always had a huge soft spot for dragons.

So it was fourth grade, and the teacher was probably expecting like, two pages.

I turned in twenty and got the elementary school equivalent of an A+.

It was while writing out that story that I first started to think ‘gee, maybe writing could be fun, actually’. Thanks, Mrs. Burpee. I owe you one.

To answer the second part of your question, in a way, my motivations are the same. I write because I like writing and that’s all there is to it.

My questions and tag list will be under the cut. :)

How old were you when you first realized you wanted to write?

What was the first story you ever wrote about?

What are some of your writing goals?

How often do you write, and do you have a writing schedule?

Who is your favorite OC that you've created?

Which is your least favorite OC?

What are three things you like about your writing?

What are three things you want to improve in your writing?

Tell me a bit about your current WIP!

What are you most proud of about your WIP?

What is your favorite scene that you’ve written in your WIP so far?

Tagging: @kai-writesstuff @quilloftheclouds @practising-writer @imaghostwriter @caz-writes @angelolytle @planets-and-prose @runningonrain

[maybeitsfriendly]

MBTI type the Fruits Basket characters please? :3

Anon…thank you for asking me my favorite type of question… I am sorry for the late response… But here you go~

Some of these I’m less certain of than others, but I love doing MBTI chart (hi, INFJ here). I can get deep into why I chose these for each one – I’m not out here to do some arbitrary typing. You came to the right place. But let me do it under read more because I don’t want to be that bitch. Also because my analysis will involve spoilers.

Tohru is 100% ENFJ - I will accept no criticism on this decision. She gets her energy from being around others, she sees the big picture in everyone she meets - looking at what they could be rather than the specific things they’ve done, I shouldn’t have to explain how feeling she is, and she’s very plan-oriented. She may “go with the flow,” but it’s never without structure.

Yuki is very ISTJ. His happy place is a garden. Just because he wants to be social doesn’t mean he can’t do it as an introvert. He sees things as they are. He acts based on what he thinks is the logical thing to do, even if the logical sometimes involves what will feel best in the end. He also never goes with the flow lmao. Except with Machi but we will get there.

Kyo is very ESFP. He’s always sought social interaction. He views things very as-is. He is very feeling and very sensitive. His decisions to listen to people only comes when it’s based on feeling. He went off into the mountains for months to hide from his pained emotions and escape himself due to the guilt. The boy couldn’t make a decision based on logical thoughts over feelings to save his life, @ me. Also going into the mountains to hide from yourself is both an example of how he’s P not J - and also a mood.

Shigure is ESTP and this is one of the ones people might fight me on but come at me. I don’t need to explain what an extrovert the man is. The S/N is one that could be debated, but I feel he’s always focused on the specific details that will lead him to achieve his goal. He only sees one big picture, and that’s his plan to make Akito his. Everything else is a stepping stone, viewed as is. The T/F also follows that logic. His one drive for feeling is Akito. But he falls distinctly into T because of that. He’s far, far less considerate of everyone else’s feelings, only concerned about how to get Akito. He’ll step over anyone to do that. It’s all calculated. The P should be obvious, the man is an irregular mess.

After getting the main 4 out of the way I’ll try to condense these next ones into just explaining the interesting/less obvious decisions. Sorry I’m long winded.

Uo was hard to decide with T/F because of her choices with Kureno but I ultimately went with T because of her childhood actions. She could kill her feeling to survive. The rest is more obvious.

Hana I don’t think I have to explain at all, really. Except you may have written her as thinking because of how stoic she seems. As if her choices we see don’t all revolve around Tohru smh.

When I realized Haru was an INFJ I felt so happy because we’re so underrepresented. He’s an odd INFJ though - especially because of Black Haru, but he’s just a fucked up abused INFJ.

FINALLY THE INTJs HAVE SOMEONE REPRESENTING THEM THAT ISN’T EVIL I’M HAPPY FOR Y’ALL. I shouldn’t have to explain though.

Akito is a fucking mess of a P. Who also can’t see the big picture to save her life - the damn S she is. T/F is very much where I was at odds with myself here. Some of these characters are so fucked up they just don’t fit the norm for any of the typings and Akito is one of those.

Ritsu is kinda obvious too. A literal, introverted, emotional, all over the place mess.

Kisa is kinda hard to place definitively she needs to grow into herself again.

Machi is INTP and like, the I is obvious. The T is clear to me because of how she was able to try and become “perfect” to abide by her mother’s will. She tried to follow logic presented by parent. Her ability to see why that would be the logical thing is why she’s an N. Also her seeing her hated concept of “perfection” in everything is a very big-picture, not literal kind of thinking. The P is kinda for similar reasons to above. Anyways I love Machi and anyone who disses her can catch these fucking fists.

Momiji being an ENFP is very, very obvious to me. Side note: Ayame is also an ENFP.

Y’all may really disagree with me putting Kyoko as a T. So lemme take a sec and explain this one. The E and N should be obvious. An extroverted, not seeing the individual things right in front of her kind of person. Not seeing what’s right in front of her should be really fucking obvious if you know what happened post her husband’s death. The P should be the most obvious decision - she’s all over the place so much of the time. Her decisions are so at-will. Now lemme. Explain. The T. My dad is a pastor and he identifies as a T that uses the logical thinking to help people. His logic may deal with feelings, but it is logic based. Spare her moments of insanity, I feel like Kyoko is the same way. She did what she needed to in order to survive. She does what she needs to to keep Tohru alive. She gives Tohru so much logical advice related to feelings. To not judge people, to see things a certain way, to be sure to finish high school. She is always thinking of the way to achieve the best life for herself and her daughter. This is all why I put her in T. She’s very middle ground though, between the two. I just think she’s like my dad, and uses her logic for feelings. Not feelings for logic.

Kagura is ESFJ but J is the only iffy letter there. I just don’t see her as go with the flow, she has a plan and her plans revolve around Kyo. That’s why she’s F though.

Hiro’s only not obvious letter is N instead of S, but I chose N because of the scene where he tells Akito about his feelings for Kisa. He wasn’t thinking about the in the moment. He was thinking about big picture. That’s why.

And that, anon, is probably more than you even wanted. I’m sorry the INFJ in me just popped out and I wanted to psychoanalyze everyone. Lort I need to finish rereading so I can respond to other anon’s LOADED question in my inbox about Shigure. It’s so loaded I can’t answer without rereading. I’m so glad to be a voice in this fandom though thank you guys for liking my thoughts afjlwajfa

[drlavenderpepper]

1,6,7,9,10,13,15,28,32,35 i love numbers ^_^ (for the fic writer ask game)

woAH! 😳 okie nfsgs

1. how would you rate your writing? okayy itt said not to downplay myself so i'm gonna say four stars

6. what element do you find easy? uhh okay so a couple years ago i would have said dialogue, but now i'm gonna go with the inner voice of the characters

7. what element do you struggle with the most? okay so i am one of those people who thinks exclusively in images, so sometimes i have a hard time translating the visuals into words, especially during dialogue. cause i can see what the characters are doing and i sometimes forget that the reader doesn't. i've gotten a lot better at this by now, but if you look at my older writing (please don't) the dialogues feel empty of action

9. which character do you find the most difficult to write? out of like. parx and co, i'd say. geoff actually, cause he's the most well-adjusted nsfsgs

10. what's your favorite genre to write for? hmmmm that's a tough one. most of the time i like doing fluff more than angst i'd say. and i'm def big on friends to lovers!

13. first fandom you ever wrote for? oh god nsfsggsnsfsgs okay, it was markiplier but NOT septiplier i swear hsfgs it was mark and his gf amy

15. what's the weirdest fandom you ever wrote for? same as 13 probably nfgsfs. oh, actually, this is... technically not a fandom but at the request of one of my friends i wrote a 200 word drabble of a reader/one of our professors crack fic nsfhsfsg

28. how well do you handle criticism? i think i handle it okay! i'm always trying to improve on my writing so i'll take any advice, even in the form of criticism.

32. summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less! underground secret club meet-cute to bathroom sex to drac attack. (the only non-parx thing on that account nsfsgs)

35. ramble about any fic-related thing! okay so. i don't think i've ever like mentioned this out loud but i DO have two ao3 accounts if someone hasn't noticed yet nsfsgs cause i made vendettawound specifically for rpf, and i read and interact with my lavender_spice acc. one more thing, i have no fucking idea how people write long fics, like you see 30 and 40k sooo often but just writing that 12k one was so emotionally and physically exhausting. speaking of which, that might be cause i put a lot of personal feelings and stuff into that one, like. you could psychoanalyze me so well based on it ngshsf

[flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash]

Writer Interview

I was tagged by the lovely @sherrybaby14 and @jeffreydeanneganstrash <3

1. What inspires your work most? (The show it is based on, the actor who portrays a certain character, maybe the character itself…? It could even be an experience.)

I would say the character and then my ridiculously active imagination. A character has to really intrigue me for me to want to write them, especially more long-term. They can’t just be amusing or attractive, they have to have layers to them, and live in shades of grey. I’m not much for the “good guy” or “hero” type, unless they’re really tortured (like Daryl), and prefer characters who come off as “villains” but who actually have so much more to them, and the lines are blurry of which side they’re on. Case in point, my love of Negan, Crowley, Peter Hale, and Severus Snape. They all have so much depth to them that isn’t necessarily shown in the show/book/comics, or if it is, it isn’t until the end of their arc, and they end up dying a hero, of sorts. I love trying to psychoanalyze those types of characters, and imagining what it would be like to put them up against a female OC that sees past their rough exterior to the man beneath, and how they would react to such a woman...and eventually fall for her. Basically, I write my own fantasies, of how I would love to be transported to that universe and interact with the characters myself haha. Hence, how ID was born.

2. What is your favorite fandom to write for?

It has most DEFINITELY been Negan’s Thirst Squad. I still can’t believe how far this fandom has come in the past year and a half. From literally only a small handful of fanfiction existing for him on any fanfiction site, to now multiple fics being posted daily; from a small handful of thirst squad members who huddled together against those judging us, to a huge thirst squad full of love and support...this fandom amazes me so much. It’s one of the most positive and supportive fandoms that I’ve ever seen on any site, and I love y’all so much for that.

3. Which perspective do you prefer writing in? (First-person, third-person)

I actually prefer second person now. I had never written in a “you” perspective until ID, but after creating a novel in that POV, it’s now become my default, and weirdly, even though it’s supposedly the most difficult POV to write, I find it the most enjoyable. 

4. Do you prefer writing reader fics or OCs?

Reader fics. With those, I can literally make myself the character, without having to name her. Reader fics are still an OC of sorts, it’s just that they’re typically unnamed and it’s a different point of view. It’s definitely not as easy when it comes to not giving physical descriptors and not using a name when interacting with other characters, but it feels more personal to me, and I enjoy that a lot. 

5. Do you prefer writing longer works or one shots?

Hmm...I guess it depends on the idea. The only longer work I’ve written turned into a BEAST of a novel, and I’ve really loved the journey of writing it, because it proved to me that I can indeed someday write and publish a novel someday, if I so wish. Writing ID has taught me a lottt about not only my writing, but about myself, cheesy as that sounds, and it has been so fun to finally write down one of the huge stories that I create in my head, because I create a lot of them lol.

However, there’s also something exciting to be said for those smutty one shot ideas. Once in a while, I get an idea so arousing that I’m literally obsessed with writing it down, and spend days totally focused on that idea and transferring the fantasy from my head onto paper (or word Document, I guess haha). And then, once it’s finished and posted, I get such a sense of accomplishment, and it’s like I can then purge that fantasy from my brain so that it doesn’t drive me up a wall anymore...plus I can then transfer the thirst to others, which is always fun.

6. Do you take requests?

I do not. I took commissioned requests once earlier this year, and while it was a lot of fun to expand my writing skills by forming ideas from others, it was also stressful. I realized that it’s much harder for me to be passionate about what I’m writing if it’s not an idea that I already created in my head. Luckily, the three requests I got were already fantasies I had considered before, so I was able to draw on that, but if I got requests that weren’t something I found sexy or fantasized about myself, I don’t know if I could do those ideas justice and write them properly. Or maybe I could write them...but I just wouldn’t enjoy it nearly as much.

7. Do you enjoy getting random Asks?

I do! I’ve gotten so many amazing random asks since joining this fandom, and I love them all (minus the hate). Anons have started topics on my blog that snowballed into these amazing conversations, particularly in regards to sexuality topics, and I LOVE those interactions with anonymous followers so much! My ask box is always open to y’all :) 

8. What inspires the names for OCs (or extra character names) in your works? Do you pick them from real life or just select them at random? A mix?

When I do have secondary OCs, the names aren’t really based off anyone I know in real life. For ID, I was trying to find names of characters that didn’t exist in the show or comics (which was why I was screaming when the show introduced a young character named Ben haha). And for Trixie, I tried to think of a name of someone who would be young and annoying, and that fit for me. Maria might’ve been subconsciously based off the old lady named Maria who lived above me in my old apartment haha, although I don’t think my OC Maria is anything like her. Basically, they’re kinda random but also names that I feel fit the vibe of the OC’s personality. 

9. If your story(ies) have OCs, are their appearances based on real people or celebrities? If so, who?

I don’t actually describe my OCs appearances in ID too much, because I want readers to make their own mental picture of what they look like. I realized that their personalities are more based off real people I know, even though I wasn’t consciously doing that in the beginning, but looks-wise they don’t remind me of anyone in particular. When I first created Ben, I saw him as a younger, blonder Jared Padalecki, but since they introduced TV Ben, I’ve kinda morphed him with Padalecki in in my head and created a totally new image. 

My first OC, in a Dean Winchester story I wrote years ago, I totally based off myself, though. That was my first time writing a fanfic, and I made the main character, Amy, look like me, and her friend, Robin, I made look and act a lot like one of my hometown friends. I think that’s why I stick to “you” OCs, because I know if I made an actual OC with a physical description, my vain ass would make her look like myself haha. I wrote the first chapter of ID with an OC character, who was going to be a curvy blonde (like myself) and named Lexi, but then I changed it to a “you” character at the last minute. It’s interesting though, to think where the story could’ve gone and been different, if I had stuck with that OC. But I’m glad that I made the switch.

10. How long have you been writing fanfiction?

My first fic was a Dean Winchester 2-chapter smut fic. I think I started writing it in 2013 and published it in 2014 (it took me forever to write). I then decided that was my one-time foray into writing fanfiction, and didn’t write any again...until April 2016, after the season 6 finale of TWD, when Negan showed up on my screen and ruined my life. So consistently, I’ve been writing it for a year and a half, minus that one story a few years ago.

If anyone actually takes the time to read these rambles, thank you, because holy shit am I good at rambling.

I tag (if you want to) @opheliadawnwalker3 @mamapeterson @faith-in-dean @winchesterswoonathon @kittenofdoomage @hannibalssweaters @bamby0304 @vizhi0n @wickednerdery @wheresthekillswitch @lucifer-in-leather @crzcorgi @purplemuse89 

(I tried to tag some authors I haven’t seen tagged for this yet, so apologies if you already did it!)

[danikalore]

Write Without Regret.

It’s probably no surprise to anyone who generates content online that fans can be very demanding. “Upload more content! Make the next update about this particular subject! I have a great idea – use it!” In fact, sometimes fans can get pretty aggressive when they don’t get what they want, or when they don’t get it fast enough. They’re excited about the next update, and they don’t realize that the content creator can’t always keep up with their expectations.

Those of us who post our works for the first time can find ourselves very susceptible to these kinds of demanding fans. We’re sharing a part of ourselves, after all, so we crave approval for what we have created – and more than that, we fear losing fans if we don’t give them what they want.  It takes a while for us to find the balance between developing our original ideas while still taking our fans’ requests into consideration.

Years ago, I wrote fanfiction for a television show with a small but dedicated fan base. I was one of the minorities in the fandom, as I did not ship the “One True Pairing!” of the show’s protagonists. I crack-shipped instead a couple of side villains. My favorite thing about writing about them was finding ways to explain why the pairing worked, why they were messed up, and (most importantly) how they could stay together when they were so clearly so wrong for one another. My point of pride was in psychoanalyzing them and using that to explore the worst aspects of a toxic relationship (verbal/physical abuse, codependence, manipulation, etc.). I loved the challenge of making a reader recognize how horrible the relationship was, and yet still root for them to stay together – not because they approved of how the characters treated one another, but because they were invested in the “it’s okay because…” mentality of the characters themselves.

I was a bit disappointed when some of my early reviews fell along the lines of, “So is this going to be a smut fic? When are you going to write the smut?”

I didn’t want to write smut. I don’t even like to read it. My plan had just been to get the characters to that point and do a boot scene: fade to black, no graphic details. But it quickly became apparent my readers wanted those details. So I caved. I started writing smut.

I hated it.

Do you have any idea what it’s like to write sex scenes for an abusive couple? It’s terrible. I would start to write a scene, then shove away from my computer because I was disgusted with both it and myself, and then I would go back and keep writing because I was certain I would lose readers if I didn’t. The pressure of “give them what they want” was making me hate the very story I had once been so excited about sharing.

I still have the fic. It turned into a three part drama-fest (part one was almost 300,000 words by itself!) that crashed, burned, reassembled, and crashed again. It was also pretty damn popular. Readers said they loved seeing things get so bad, it couldn’t possibly get any worse – and then promptly seeing things get worse one chapter later. In that regard, I succeeded in what I had been aiming for. Unfortunately, I had grown to dread having to write more chapters, knowing what it was my readers were hoping for.

I regret being pressured into writing smut, and I can’t help but wonder how refusing to do so would have affected my readership. Would they really have left? Or would staying true to my vision have made my fic better, and drawn more readers in?

I took the fic down several years ago. Surprisingly, every now and then I’ll check back in on the fandom and find that someone’s asking for a copy of it. Clearly, it was good enough to be remembered. But having read it over again recently, I find it pretty cringe-worthy. I can’t read the smut scenes at all. Even the regular scenes make me wince a little, because I’ve improved so much since then. It was interesting to see how my writing style changed over the course of 483 pages. The imagery got better, the narrative smoothed out, the drama became more and more complex…

It’s an odd feeling, to be both proud of and disgusted by something you created.

I wrote two other parts to the fic, and by the time I was done, I was burnt out. I told myself that I would never let a reader dictate to me how I should write my stories. I think the best lesson I learned from the experience was that I should write my stories the way I see them in my head, because if I write the way other people see them, all I’m doing is encouraging them to smother my vision with theirs. It’s best to write for the readers you want – the ones who like your style and content, and who will encourage you to write from your heart. Don’t let dissatisfied readers guilt you into appeasing them.  At the end of the day, you need to be able to look at what you’ve created and feel pride for it.

Never shame.

[yumblrgram]

I have another crazy Watanabe-sensei Yowamshi Pedal psychoanalysis. In my last rant about Imaizumi's lost love, I mentioned Teshima and Aoyagi, and how they represented the abilities of the author. Someone asked me what I meant by that, and I guess I'll write down what I've thought about T2 so far while reading the comic: T2 are his abilities.

*Teshima is how the author sees his abilities as a cyclist.

*Aoyagi is how the author sees his abilities as an artist.

I’ll try to back these claims up with evidence below. When Teshima first met Aoyagi, they were both on the lower end of average and could barely keep up with everyone else.

Aoyagi is a sprinter (Watanabe is known for his very quick drawing style...usually done drawing for the day before noon and then his assistants clean it all up). His problem is that he overdoes it and gets overwhemled very easily. He looks up to Todokoro senpai with a sense of longing: he wants to be bigger, flashier, skillful, and number one! He also is talented but has no inspiration, and is almost completely mute. Without Teshima, he cannot express himself to others in his world. Early on in the comic, he can only express himself to the reader through his smart-ass facial expressions and that can only be drawn, not written. Aoyagi mentions later in the comic when he starts to talk more, that he would be nowhere without Teshima's dreams. Oh yeah, and in the Pedal universe he is also an excellent artist as well with a perfect score in illustration class. More than once in the universe, he is depicted as an artist. Canonically, his favorite activity outside of cycling is visiting art galleries.

Teshima is an average cyclist, but believes he has no natural talent. He thrives on wanting to be an elite, and his desperate longing to do so is really the only thing keeping him in the game. In order to stay relevant in the biking world as more than an average cyclist, he needs Aoyagi's talent. Teshima takes storytelling initiative: He meets people, does impressions, is a natural leader and wants to ultimately help others. Watanabe has said himself that “Teshima is the character that fires him up/is the character that he wants to become, because he himself is average (in regards to cycling).” I don’t need to psychoanalyze that Teshima is supposed to represent his abilities as a cyclist, because he admits it with his words! Also, and this is huge supportive evidence of what I’m talking about: Watanabe himself rides a Cannondale, and that’s Teshima’s bike!

This pair likely represents the fact that Sensei is a biking star mostly because of his drawing skills in regards to Yowamushi Pedal (Teshima needs Aoyagi), but without cycling on a regular basis, he would have nothing to draw, and no story to tell (Aoyagi needs Teshima). At the moment he sees himself as a manga-ka and an athlete, and neither without both. His abilities are a team of two.

If the evidence for the two characters being art and cycling is strong enough, you can see the author using them to overcome some struggles:

The fact that Aoyagi is always on the podium while Teshima is the one who planned out his strategy signifies his booming success as a manga-ka but with biking as the entire base of it. When his artistic manifestation Aoyagi has guilt over being the consistent winner between the two of them, Teshima takes his hand and tells him that the only thing that matters is that they're up there with the elite.

When T2 failed to cross the finish line and injured themselves during the first story arc, it was meant to be a sort of sacrifice to show the reader that for every winner, there must be a loser. The sad part about this scene was the fact that Tadokoro, who I'm pretty sure represents masculinity to the author, had to be there too. That moment probably represented a time when the author's abilities weren't strong enough to achieve a goal in the past (a deadline, race, relationship, opportunity, etc) and he felt like a personal failure as a man. This is why the three of them had to cry together, not just Teshima and Aoyagi.  

As the second years became third-years, their designs changed. I know that editors are often the ones responsible for this, but in the manga it's a significant enough change for it to be of the author's own volition: He is finally getting confidence in his abilities! This might have to do with the fact that Yowamushi Pedal was a huge success.

Aoyagi has grown, is more beautiful, talks more, has new powers, and is able to change styles and shapes to a hilarious degree. What has happened is that Sensei's drawing abilities have gotten massively better than they used to be when Yowamushi Pedal first started. I'm sure the author knows it, and gets more pleased as he looks down at his work. This is why he lets Aoyagi shine more, and uses him to showcase his different drawing techniques in the manga. He even has illustrative premonitions now, for instance when he was afraid of Doubashi.

Teshima is also more confident, but admittedly not as much as Aoyagi. Working hard and being average hurts. Still, he has accepted that he is an average cyclist as long as he can influence others around him to try their best. This is his leadership ability, and it's also Watanabe's ability. He now knows that he has influenced tons of people to go out and try to ride a bike even if they feel average. There's less anger in this character than there was before, and that has to do with the fact that Watanabe-sensei has made peace with his role as a cyclist in his life.

******

I know this all sounds crazy, but I don’t think that all stories are like direct reflections of the author like this one is. For example, Haikyuu or Baby Steps is less of a therapy piece and is more about the main characters and highschool sports. Harry Potter on the other hand is a therapy piece, and so is One Piece and especially Yowamushi Pedal. 

I have a feeling that if the original female Kotori girl was the main character instead of Onoda, Yowamushi Pedal wouldn’t be as much of a self-reflection of the author. It would have been more of a cute, romantic, more formulaic sports manga. Onoda being there feels like him being able to teleport into his issues and deal with them. He’s working his way up to Manami.

Onoda is him in the present allowing him to deal with his past, Makishima is his physical appearance, Tadokoro is masculinity, and he's not psychologically in a spot to be able to deal with what Manami is yet but I think he'll get there eventually. 

Quick side note on Manami: Watanabe originally intended for Manami to be the "evil bad guy antagonist," but according to him, that evil couldn't come out on the paper. He also mentions that Manami is the hardest character for him to draw, and he blames that on the fact that Manami has a lot of hair. This is coming from a guy who draws *Midousuji*. I believe that subconsciously, Sensei is actually scared of what Manami represents. This is why he finds him difficult to draw. I have a pretty good idea of what I think it is, and it's the foundation of why I think Sensei is (successfully) working out his demons in the manga.