danikalore

[danikalore]

Punk rock.

[danikalore]

I lost the will to art for a while. Working on this helped.

[danikalore]

I will love him forever.

[danikalore]

That moment when you finally get to take off your binder after a long day of being psychologically tormented by a sentient city of screaming flesh.

[danikalore]

I started posting some of my art on Twitter, and someone's already asking me if I do commissions. I have no idea how to respond. I'm completely new to people wanting to give me money for my doodles, and I've read so many stories about artists getting screwed when buyers file disputes on PayPal to get refunds on the art they received.

So what's a safe payment platform for artists to reduce scamming? I was thinking Ko-fi would be good? Maybe?

Also, be brutally honest. What would you say my art is worth? I have no concept of value when it comes to my own art.

I'm insecure about drawing for other people, and I'm already anxious over this single request that I haven't even acknowledged yet, so if any of you have some wisdom do impart, I'd love to hear it!

[danikalore]

I just want to know what he was thinking.

[danikalore]

Just a bit of Toxic Tears, because I think she’s a genuinely delightful person. Tried to make a Jake Munro to go with this, but it was a spectacular failure. 

Whatever, I tried.

[danikalore]

I used Craigslist for the first time today. Decided to see if there was anyone near me giving away free plants, or at least selling them for cheap. I found a lady selling perennials from her overgrown garden for $1-$3 dollars per bunch, which seemed like a great deal. It was in a residential area that looked trustworthy, and I would be outside the whole time, so I decided to contact the seller and head on over.

Ya'll, this lady was nuts.

Here is an incomplete list of comments from the one-sided conversation I had to listen to:

- "You don't need to wear your mask. I'm healthy and we're outside. Germs don't spread outside."

- She comes from Russia, where doctors infect people with coronavirus on purpose to inflate their infection numbers in order to scare people. She saw this on Youtube.

-Russian police also arrest people for having the coronavirus, and that's why it's important to leave your phone in your car.

-"I read all the research, and the flu kills more people than this virus does. That's why people listen to me. I do the research."

- "Whenever I make posts on LinkedIn, I have 3000 followers, they all understand."

- She refuses to get vaccinated for anything because she doesn't trust the DNA-altering "chimera" chemicals that would get injected into her.

- Vaccines are also used to inject nanobots into peoples' bodies so the government can monitor and control you from afar.

- Bill Gates invented vaccines for the same reason he invented computer viruses: to get rich off of people who get infected.

- Bill Gates also invented abortions.

-"It's antichrist treatments. I'm a TRUE believer. I read my bible, and God tells me this is HIS kingdom."

-"There is already a cure. It's the same pill that Trump takes."

- When she watches television, she sees "Six Feet" flash on the screen and in her head. That's how she knows the government is using subliminal messages on her.

- "Why six feet? Why not six feet and one inch? It doesn't make sense."

- "You know where 'six feet' comes from, don't you? Graves. Six feet under. It's because they want us dead."

-"The leaves of this plant make good tea. They recommend you don't use it because of the poison, but everything in moderation, you know. A little poison can still be healthy."

- "I am a certified medical herbologist."

- "This plant is very good. It can be used to cure cancer."

Probably forgetting some of the things she said, but yeah. I think I'll pass on using Craigslist again. 

[danikalore]

About a year ago, I posted a Shadowgast fanfic on AO3 called "Silence and Shadows". It came out pretty well, and people seemed to enjoy it. Unfortunately, a lot has changed since then in terms of what we know about Essek. Turns out, my interpretation of his motivations was WAY off.

Even so, I still occasionally get comments on it, which is wonderful! A reader recently asked me a question about what my thoughts are on the past few episodes regarding the Essek reveals, so what the hell, I'll post my response here.

I am conflicted.

While I was delighted to learn more about Essek's background and motivations, I am disappointed that Essek only floats for the show of it, that he's a traitor, and that he is also evil-aligned. But I am excited that he thinks of the Mighty Nein as his friends, and that he trusts them. And because of that, I am terrified that they might betray that trust.

Up until befriending them, Essek has kept to himself. He avoids social interaction, doesn't seem to see the value of connecting to people, and has remained isolated by choice because of it. Now he's opened up. He's entrusted secrets to what may very well be his first friends ever. And half of the group is talking about how he needs to be punished for what he did.

I'm not going to get into the whole, "well, yeah, because he's a WAR CRIMINAL, he shouldn't get away with it" debate. People do shit things. Sometimes they change, sometimes they don't, sometimes they can be rehabilitated with kindness and understanding, and sometimes punishment is the only way they learn. All I see is that Essek used to shut himself away, didn't care about anything but his research, and put on a show to hide who he actually is––and now he's confided his worst secrets in what he thinks are his friends, and is offering to join them for a time to "do some good in the world".

Assuming he’s being sincere in that offer, there are three possible scenarios I take from this:

A) The Mighty Nein bring Essek along for some of their travels. Maybe visit Alfield (and frickin' check in on Bryce, come on people!). In interacting with common people, Essek is able to see how they live, how the war has affected them, and how his actions have caused direct suffering. Maybe he starts to care. Maybe he starts to change. Maybe his alignment slowly begins to shift now that he is seeing the world beyond the cage he built around himself.  

B) The Mighty Nein distance themselves from Essek. They don't take him up on his offer to join them, they decide he's too dangerous to keep associating with, and they basically leave him on read. Essek sees that their friendship was conditional/transactional, which is something he totally understands. It's disappointing that the Mighty Nein weren't the companions he hoped they would be, but at least they didn't rat him out or turn on him. He leaves it at that, and returns to his research and former shady business, once again isolating himself. He doesn't get better, but he does get worse either.

C) The Mighty Nein fucking turn on him. Essek now he realizes what a mistake it is to trust people. There's no point in reaching out to the world if it's only going to lead to betrayal and ruin. Essek not only isolates himself again, he is more inclined to descend further into the path of evil. One day, the Mighty Nein have to stop him, and he is forced into battle with the people he once thought he could trust.

I'm hoping to scenario A.

So basically, what I've seen these past few episodes with him is that he has a soft side, and that he's open to change. Yeah, he's lived for a century, but that's young for an elf. A twenty year old human sees the world very differently than that same human at age forty. Personalities , priorities, and actions change over time. Essek is still young and inexperienced, and I think he's at a point where there are many different paths available to him. The Mighty Nein has a chance to guide him towards one far less destructive––especially since he strikes me as someone who very much wants approval. The collective opinions of the Mighty Nein have grown important to him. He's likely willing to do the good deeds – maybe not because he wants to be good, but because he wants to show his new friends that he can be. We saw how Beau's outlook shifted as she began to care about the world around her. There's no reason Essek can't change in the same way.

And those are my thoughts.

[danikalore]

Person: It’s Black Friday ( @itsblackfriday )

Color Palette: Silence

[danikalore]

Character: Beauregard

Color Palette: Serenity

[danikalore]

Let me tell you a little story about OCD.

Me: Leaves the house. Locks the door. Walks away.

Me at the bottom of the steps: Did I lock the door?

Me: Goes back to the door and checks. Yes, it is locked. Goes to car.

Me sitting in the car: Did I lock the door? Is it locked? Am I sure?

Me: Leaves the car, goes back to the house, and checks the door. Yes, it is locked. Goes back to car.

Me driving down the road: Did I lock the door? I think I did. But what if I didn't? No, I checked it. The door is locked. BUT WHAT IF IT ISN'T?

Me: Circles the block, returns home, and runs back to the house to check the door. Yes, it is still locked. Goes back to car.

Me sitting in the car: Did I lock the door YES I LOCKED THE FUCKING DOOR IT IS LOCKED I DID NOT UNLOCK THE DOOR IT IS FINE JUST DRIVE.

Me: Sits in the driveway mentally reliving the past several minutes to assure myself that I did, in fact, lock the door.

Me: Finally drives away, anxiously checking the rearview mirror to make sure the door didn't spontaneously pop open the moment my back was turned. Sees that it's closed.

Me: Okay. Okay. I'm good. Let's go.

Me: ...Continues to check the rearview mirror until I can no longer see the house. Just in case.

[danikalore]

Character: Caduceus Clay

Color Palette: Rose Thorns

[danikalore]

Character: Caleb Widogast (and Frumpkin!)

Color Palette: Berry Pop

[danikalore]

are you still taking palette challenge requests? if so, caleb in berrypop? (if not, feel free to delete to the depths of the abyss)

Oh, shit, I’ve never gotten an ask before! I wasn’t taking requests, but I’ll totally do it. :D

[danikalore]

Okay, but also this is basically the fandom reacting to Essek these past few episodes.

[danikalore]

Characters: Essek Thelyss and Jester Lavorre

Color Palette: Twilight