#i feel like people will interpret this as spoilers but its very genuinely JUST my opinion of him. who knows what happens in the next half

[gorgynei]

i dont trust braius at all like he lied about everything basically. lied about his god, about him being a champion, for some reason mega respects tevon while also apparently not knowing the difference between devils/demons, immediately getting all flirty and comfortable with the party.... something is FISHY!

[dedfishs]

ranmaru has bpd or atleast in my opinion

yttd spoilers!!!!!!

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okay so firstly i just wanna say that this isnt me saying that hes totally bpd coded, and that alot of this is just me projecting hard onto him 😭😭😭😭 but despite that i do still think that he has alot of bpd symptoms from everything we saw of him in the short time he was in the game because bpdmaru is REAL TO ME!!!!!!!!

buckle up cause this is gonna be a long one

1. chronic feelings of emptiness

this can be seen in his reference sheet, where it states that he generally just goes to school and isnt passionate about anything, as well as sometimes going into spurts of worry

(sry for the terrible quality)

bpd and feelings of emptiness can come from many things, such as being abandoned (or having perceived being abandoned) but for ranmaru, i personally think it stems for an insecure sense of self

bpd can lead people into having a very unstable sense of image, which can also be accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and loneliness. and for me personally, this feeling just causes me to not feel anything, feel like nothing is important and that im just neutral about everything, but there is still a sense of dread in my chest, which i think could explain ranmarus spurts of worries.

its important to remember that this can present in a totally different way for one person than it would for the other, and that feelings of emptiness can last for a short while, or for a prolonged period of time. everyone with bpd is different and different situations can trigger different emotions ^_^

2. ranmarus relationship with sara

okay so first i just wanna clarify this ofcourse isnt canon and is just my own interpretation for ranmarus actions and his relationship witbsara 😭😭😭😭 but everytime someone calls him a yandere a majestic angel with beautiful prince disorder loses their wings

ranmarus behaviour towards sara is a MAJOR topic in the yttd fandom, and personally i do think it has to do with bpd

for alot of people with bpd, when they meet someone new who is kind, shows them genuine care and is overall just friendly towards them, the bpd person can view them veryyyyyyyyy highly, and can become attached very quickly. this is called idealisation

"Idealization is a psychological or mental process of attributing overly positive qualities to another person or thing. It's a way of coping with anxiety in which a person is viewed as perfect, or as having exaggerated positive qualities."

i do think this is what is happening with ranmaru. having only met sara very recently (literally like. 2 Days or something) she makes him feel as if he wants to survive, basically saying that she gave his life a meaning. in my own experience, idealisation can happen EXTREMLEY quickly into meeting someone, and it can make me feel as if my life is suddenly lifted and that everything is great because of this person. not only that, but these feelings and this strong attachment can lead to the person doing alot for whoever they feel this way about, which is what i think could tie into ranmaru saying he would kill for sara. i think this could also be tied to impulsivity

trigger warning for next part for sewerslide, so pls be careful ^_^ ⚠️

3. suicidal ideation

its basically already canon that ranmaru is suicidal.

he said that being with sara makes him feel as though he wants to live, implying that he didnt feel that way before.

suicidal ideation is extremely common for people who have bpd

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this is just my own analysis of ranmaru as a character and i ofcourse could be overlooking things. i also havent played ytts yet so if theres anything else in there that could be seen as a symptom of bpd pls lmk!!! :333

But dear god please stop calling ranmaru a yandere You owe everyone with bpd a fat check for contributing to the stigma

conclusion ranmaru is bpd cored and awesome

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 167 spoilers and thoughts in the middle of me trying to get through midterms but it's okay because in this ep everythings starting to look up and IM SO HAPPY ABOUT IT

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GENUINELY THEIR EXPRESSIONS IN THIS EPISODE I LOVED SO SO SO MUCH both the goofy ones and the serious ones im so AAAAH MY HEART HAHAHAHAA ALSO ALICIA IS SO SO SOOO PRETTY AND COOL LOOK AT HER LOOK AT HERRR

all the shots of her in this ep r so so good,,,, clock his ass, your majesty,,,,, to save the world,,,,,,,,,

ALL THE SILLY EXPRESSIONS MADE ME SMILE SO SO WIDE they're so bug-eyed . i see where lloyd gets the creature from /lh

we dont see these expressions very much compared to the other ones so im very happy about this HAHA it's silly cute i am absolutely using these as reaction images

JAVIER DIDNT SAY MUCH IN THIS EP BUT HIS PANELS ARE FUCKING GOLDEN TOO HIS FUCKING SHRUG AS IF HE DOESNT KNOW WHEN HE ABSOLUTELY KNOWS WHATS GOING ON HERE ALKDFJLSDJKFHSDFHAHAHAHAHAHA

i love lloyd hes hilarious but javier how does it feel being the funniest person in the room at all times . he didnt even say anything in this ep i love him sm . goofy ass "i dunno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" HAHAHAHAHA

also i really like this panel in particular. feels like an unintentional callback to dragon king's chef where michael does the same thing LMFAO

ALSO THIS PART WHERE ARCOS AND MARBELLA ASK THE QUEEN TO PUNISH THEM INSTEAD OF LLOYD IM. EATING MY FIST. how even though they're completely aware that he's not really their son they wanted to protect him anyway, AND THEN IN TURN LLOYD IS WILLING TO OUT THE TRUTH JUST TO PROTECT THEM??? IMMEDIATELY??? JUST LIKE THAT??? HELLO??? HELLO???

THIS GOD DAMN FAMILY IS FULL OF MARTYRS. GET ME OUT OF HERE

if i had a nickel for every time i got attached to a media with themes of martyrdom as a method of protection. id have two nickels. which isn't a lot. but it is amusing that it's happened twice. staring at tmnt

in this moment lloyd does not even care what risks might come with him stating outright that he's not actually lloyd but it doesnt matter all that boy is thinking about is protecting the people that he cares about, protecting the people that care about him,,,, eating my arm . HE KEEPS DOING THAT. HE KEEPS DOING THAT HE KEEPS PUTTING EVERYTHING ON THE LINE FOR THE PEOPLE HE LOVES

EVEN ALICIA FUCKING POINTS IT OUT, IN THIS PANEL SHE SAYS SMTH LIKE "when theres something u need to do, u go to the limits for it" or something like that i actually dont know which translations are correct but either way i interpret that as like. whenever lloyd has something he wants to protect he'll go above and beyond for it, no matter the cost. that cost more often than not is his own safety im gonna beat him up.

like buddy its happened enough times that her highness is CLOCKING U ON IT. BUDDY. BUD sob emoji loud wailing

i also really like this panel in general its just super cute heehee look at them . sillies. i dont typically ship characters and i dont typically multiship but alilloyd seems very sweet and i hope we get more of them talking and opening up

also i really wanna add these two panels because they made me giggle so fucking bad. lloyd u silly motherfucker LMAO "huh" HAHAHAHA

live footage of me looking at the work i still have left to do that i have not even started and its due within two days. god i fucking love the sillies so much

OOHHH ANNND MY FAVORITE PANEL OF THIS EPISODE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH LLOYD REALIZING HE'S NOT ALONE AND THAT HE HAS SUPPORT IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING EVER!!!! YESSS YES YES YES YESSS IM SO FUCKING HAPPY GOD FUCK

u have friends and family behind u . ur not alone anymore algjkdlsaghhadfjasd UR NOT ALONE LLOYD U HAVE PEOPLE BEHIND U TO CATCH U WHEN U FALL YAYYYYY YAYAYAYY even the system is there IM SO HAPPY

i like the way he phrased his realization too, because yeah the more time went on the more he thought "i have to find the solution" cause he's been leading these projects for so long now, it's kind of just how he's been operating even back in korea, bc he spent so much time on his own. and here in lorasia he's the one with powers, he's the one leading the charge, so he has to take responsibility... but him realizing now that its not "i" but "we" makes me so so so incredibly happy,,,, ur not on ur own anymore u have people u can trust and they trust u back, regardless of whatever title or skill effect u have, ur not a single person leading, ur a team working together,,,, U GOT FAMILY AGAIN,,,,,,,, ghhhh,,,, WAAAAHHHH

when i hit this panel i started kicking my fucking legs around im so serious the joy i felt was PALPABLE

so incredibly happy to see his determined face make a comeback, like fully this time, so so happy!!!!

and these panels as he's leaving,,,, him being worried abt them still (and ofc he is, bc when he lost his parents as suho he was also going off and away to study), but he also trusts that theyll be alright,,, i think idk if im interpreting this right but thats how i see it

i really like how the artist drew these panels, the lineart on the side of the setting sun being lighter/softer i really like how this looks!!!! this feels new this feels so full of hope and im SO HAPPYYYY

also bisexual lighting. i know what you are. imagine that pointing forward at the viewer emoji i dont have it on my emoji keyboard bc my phone is old

i want to mention too that alicia calls the count and countess mother/father-in-law. i dont have much to say on that i am just JAWDROP EMOJI at that LMFAOO

and there he is,,,

his stupid fucking plotting evil face . it's back . WELCOME BACK LLOYD,,, BACK TO THE SHENANIGANS,,,, WE ARE NOW ON STEP THREE OF FOUR FOR PROFIT!!! THE ?????? SECTION!!!! what the fuck is he planning

okay thats all for this week thanks for stopping by :3 sorry there wasnt much insight here my main TLDR is YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE basically

[leafybfdia]

ii2 ep 16 act 1 spoilers

um so this act has utterly decimated me. i had work to do yesterday and i found myself completely unable to do any of it. i woke up this morning and my first thought was about this episode. i went out today and all i could think about was this episode. i came home and ate and had to take a nap because my head hurt from thinking about this episode. i slept for 3 hours and dreamt of ii. ive done nothing today except think about ii2 ep 16 act 1. i didnt even act like this when firey revived leafy and i literally go insane over any leafy crumbs. point is i think i need to talk about it to release me. this is just gonna be my speculation for some things. ok? ok

the contestants

ive seen people debating about whether cobs is lying about mephone making the contestants but i think hes genuinely telling the truth considering the fact that 1. they glitch at the end and 2. the foreshadowing and 3. brian and co have been laughing it up over at animationepic hq or wherever LOL. but one thing i do think is worth discussing is whether or not mephone was even like consciously aware of what he was doing. i thought it was heavily heavily implied that he didnt realize (considering that when cobs asks “why did you do it?” hes like huh whuh) but then brian tweeted this

but then again he could be fucking with us. like you never know. and also i mean the question WAS pretty vague.

PERSONALLY im team subconscious. i think the writers are trying to hurt us and subconscious would hurt more.

another thing to mention is that the settings of inanimate insanity are very likely made up considering that the s2 location has literally prime shimmer planet eggs or whatever as hills in the background, and the island in iii is called “inanimate island” iirc. the same alliteration cobs mentions. and of course it could just be some pre-existing island that he renamed himself for the show but at this point i feel like anything is possible

whos real and who isnt

so that leads to this. who the hell is made up then??

i genuinely wanted to argue that bow could be real considering the fact that she came into the show on her own against mephones own wishes and also cant be revived but if team subconscious is right then it would have been possible for mephone to just have made her up too so like… i dont know. I dont know… it’s scary….

oh and that leads to another thing i kept seeing

the “bow is a prime shimmer” theory or whatever that i keep seeing

… guys im going to be honest i think we’ve reached the point of delirium. on one hand i vaguely understand where these ppl are coming from since bow made a prime shimmer sound and the egg that 3gs gave to cobs was pink (and i saw someone say it had a bow symbol on it but i just couldnt see it????) but i otherwise… dont see it? she doesnt look like a prime shimmer guys. sorry. anyways

mephone x

good goddamn lord. so get a load of this guy.

one thing i havent really seen people talk about is how only the specific targets can see mephone x and no one else. of course this is like WTF! before it’s revealed that everyones “not real” but like. i mean it’s assumed that cobs is the one controlling this thing. idk if this thing has agency and is just following cobs orders or if its just a vessel for cobs to control or what but it really begs the question as to like. how can he make mephone x be invisible to everyone else? are the contestants “made up” in the sense that theyre just code, and hes entering the mainframe or whatever? like. im assuming thats what it is but like Oh My God? and what the fuck is going on with his targets?

everyone keeps saying that like ohhh hes targetting those who were in the middle of talking with others but i dont think thats necessarily the case. i think thats just for the drama. even though it’s been said that it’s up for interpretation if guava and soap were killed too i at the very least think guava is dead dead since his disappearance was mentioned before even pickle died. starfruit says that guava just “ditched” so he wasnt talking to anyone. i genuinely think anyones fucked. speaking of which:

is the death thing permanent

honestly? im scared to answer this. on one hand im like well no these characters have important arcs they need to fulfill but on the other hand i feel like we genuinely may be hit with the madoka magica treatment here where death is sudden, unexpected, permanent, and terrifying.

my biggest fear is the ending being like everyone coming to terms with the fact that theyre not real and just fading away like they got thanos snapped or something. but i think soap and mics interaction is foreshadowing. soap deletes a picture of them together and opens the recently deleted pictures album and goes “oops, missed a spot!”. i think toilet, oj, pickle, nickel, and potentially soap and guava are in some kind of digital trash can right now and can still be saved. chat i have to believe

box

so. rememebr box you guys.

… i dont think hes “the first victim” or whatever. although it is an interesting theory

people seem to be able to communicate with box? which makes sense since theyre all made up and if box is made up too then well theyre like all the same guys. but like… his whole not reacting thing is mentioned too so. i mean. huh?

i dont remember if bot ever interacted with box before he got injured too. and im too tired to rewatch the first parts of season 3. but them interacting with box would have implications since they were like the only confirmed contestant so far that mephone hasnt made himself

toilet

oh yeah hes fucked. he has been fucked for YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! we just finally got confirmation that like yep no that man is DIED. although it confirms that toilet too isnt real which makes my whole “is bow real” thing kind of a stretch since he didnt like bow or toilet and yet they were still there

of course his carcass wasnt shown so it’s like ohh maybe he just got kidnapped or whatever.

and also adam was being controlled by cobs, and adam DID hire toilet… IS toilet real? if he isnt then did another mephone make toilet for cobs so he could send him out?? im in so much pain

honorable mentions and misc

- test tube and fan making bot is made slightly better because they didnt realize both bow and marshmallow were still. “alive”. bows not really alive though but you know what i mean. STILL DOESNT EXCUSE IT THOUGH

- do you think mephone made santa because of his childish whimsy and joy. like he wanted santa to be real so bad. Guys im sorry im not rewatching that episode i dont remember what even happens

- the season 3 contestants being at the hotel is… it’s not IMPOSSIBLE i guess since oj knows them. still frightening. they like literally spawned in it was the scariest shit ever. i remember when i was at the meetup i noticed that candles asset used in the theater etiquette video was season 2ified and i was like LOL thats a little unnecessary. like the face and limbs sure but the asset itself? Anyways yeah no that was completely necessary.

- according to brian the plot twist was planned since 2015 at the latest, so around the episode “theft and battery” when cobs is first shown. do with that what you will.

- ballpoint pens resemblance to cobs was not a funny coincidence.

- i genuinely got scared that mephone was confirmed to be a babys or something but as im rewatching it like 20 times yeah no i think cobs is just infantilizing him. Can i be honest mephone has always had old man voice to me

- do you think mephone made springy so he could feel like he had a normal childhood. sniffle

- bot, the one contestant he didnt make, was his favorite. Do with that what you will.

- no i dont think suitcases psychosis was her just “seeing reality as how it is”. i feel so bad for suitcase especially btw. im team suitcase i always have been they could never make me hate her.

- walkie talkie. FUCK

my predictions

- lightbulbs a goner im so sorry. lightbulb was literally trending on twitter earlier idk if it still is but shes FUCKED. she has the X on her face in the thumbnail and shes a fan favorite. someones gonna argue with her like ohh you cant make this positive lightbulb and then shes gonna be like Chat whats that sound… (she would say 100% say chat. to me)

- the rest of the season 3 contestants HAVE to be shown. theyre involved in this too man. clover fluttering away on her butterflies to whereever she went after she got eliminated and im like THIS INVOLVES YOU TOO. GET BACK HERE

- mephone will deny that he made everyone up but as he begins to doubt himself everyone will start glitching out

- i think bot will be called in here. cobs cant do shit to them mephone x wise

- no one wins here. even if they do get physical with cobs and suitcase idk beats him to death with hammers. idk if theyd show deatj and dying on screen but it’s like. ok but then what. youre still made up by mephone. take those million dollars if mephone even has the fucking money. what then. literally what then

- i wanted to say maybe mephones realization of his creation skills lets him create something or someone powerful enough to defeat cobs but like. you know. mephone x. then again though like you never know. thats the one thing here. if you know something no you dont

- 40 min fantube makeout scene thats unskippable because the entire time cheesy is in the background with a blank expression stating important plot related facts with no hint of emotion whatsoever

tldr

[skydigiblogs]

If You're A Digimon Fan, Watch Appmon

Sit tight. This one's gonna be a VERY long one, and I'm going to put a lot of it under the read more.

Having just finished Appmon after this year's quest to rewatch a lot of the series subbed, I think it's pretty safe to say that Appmon is, at the moment, one of (if not the) best Digimon series we have. If you want the long and short of it: Appmon builds on everything in its legacy in the Digimon Universe, taking ideas that other entries touch upon and ambitiously attempting to push those questions to the limit.

It's really a long one under the cut guys. Like, long even for us.

Let's dive!

Visuals

I want to talk about why it took me so long to watch Appmon first, though. Appmon started its release in the middle of when the Digimon Tri movies were coming out. I'm sure a lot of us actually skipped over Appmon at the time, or remember a period where people were being weirdly negative about the series due to it being such a different interpretation of digital monsters.

In my case, one of the things that had been giving me pause was the use of 3D models for hybrid animation. Anyone here seen the Champion evolution animations from Tri? Digimon doesn't exactly have a good track record with 3D animation, and even at the time, we were seeing some pretty bad shit out of even the shortest animations in Tri.

In Appmon, nearly almost every App after a certain grade utilizes 3D animation in a hybrid style. And it actually rips straight fire.

I think I talked about this briefly when we were just starting Appmon, but the way that 3D animation is used in the series feels purposeful, rather than some kind of shortcut. In Appmon, all the 3D models have an overlay of code, emphasizing their digital appearance. Whether the 3D models were done with this artistic vision in mind or not (ie: the limitations of 2D meant that 3D models would be easier), it has a distinct look that, even 8 years later, still holds up.

(For the most part. Sorry [Karaoke spoilers]mon. I love you but that model was so not groovy.)

But maybe you're the kind of person who can enjoy anything regardless of visuals. So let's talk about the meat and potatoes a little bit.

Characters

The main Applidrivers (what this season's stand in for Digidestined/Tamers/etc. are) are all incredibly well-written. Each of them gets pretty fair treatment by the writers, and they are all enjoyable characters.

Two of them have vocal/character quirks, but even if you get annoyed by that kind of thing, those two characters are genuinely just extremely sincere in their writing. There's a recap episode before shit starts going way off the walls and they even have a little count to see how many times each of their catchphrases were said up to that point.

I'm not going to talk in detail as to who the different Applidrivers are here, but I will say: each of them has their own motivations for what they're doing, and it's key to why they're involved with the plot at all. Our "protagonist," Haru, is also a huge sweetheart. Him and Manga Taiki would get along.

The supporting cast is also fairly present in the series. They, of course, are not given quite as much screentime as our Applidrivers, but they feel like real people with their own lives. They don't exist just for the sake of our protagonists.

Except maybe Watson. God bless you Watson, you poor kid. You'll get a break one of these days.

Plot/Themes

We're going to keep this to a "if you liked [x] you'll like [y]" format, because I don't want to spoil too much.

If you liked Tamers and its discussion on the consequences of technology on the Real World, you will adore Appmon. This series is deeply interested in the concepts of how technology shapes and is shaped by humanity. This relationship, I would say, is core to the series.

I would also say that, like many non-Adventure series, Appmon is very interested in dissecting the idea of "fate" when it comes to the buddy Appmons and their relationships to the Applidrivers.

If you enjoyed the Xros Wars Manga, Appmon directly converses with the thesis of Xros Wars' plot. XWM asks, "What does it mean if we do not dream and stagnate in our lack of will?" And Appmon replies in kind with "Why do we dream at all, if our actions bring change to the world around us (bad and good)?"

If you liked (or wanted to like, in my case) Digimon Tri, you will love Appmon. Certain plot beats may feel familiar, but are much better executed in this context. Characters are not written to needlessly, endlessly suffer. Or: it doesn't feel like the writers hate the characters. Thematically, it also interests itself in some of the questions that Tri asks. I have a half-joking corkboard comparing the two I want to make, but I'd have to get into spoilers to talk too much about it.

If you liked Ghost Game, but wanted a bit of a more meaty plot, Appmon feels, fittingly, like GG's older sibling (in ways I'll also be elaborating ummm, one paragraph down). There are a lot of "monster of the week" episodes in Appmon, but the connective tissue between them is a lot more interested in building up the finale (which, in this case, takes up a good handful of episodes). The series pacing is incredibly strong in how it does this as well, and it seems the writers really knew when to let off the gas for a second so the audience can catch their breath. The first 13 episodes may feel a bit strange (they felt strange to me), but once you break that barrier, you realize Appmon was getting you over the first hill on a roller coaster. and boy, you are in for a ride.

Setting

I have a sneaking suspicion that Appmon heavily inspired Ghost Game, and may have been itself inspired by the Digiquartz of Hunters Who Leapt Through Time. I haven't actually watched all of Hunters so I can't speak too much about Digiquartz, but I have watched GG.

Appmon has a concept called the AR field, which is extremely similar to Ghost Game's Dimensional Field. In both cases, the Applidrive or Digivice allows entrance to one.

The actual structure and strata of the Digital World is also a lot different to GG, in which there is the Dimensional Field, but the way to the Digital World is its own separate situation. The AR Field we see in Appmon is like the surface of a great ocean. Exploration of this setting is actually something that highlights just how much I think Appmon was interested in visually engaging with its ideas, like I said before with the 3D models.

That said, a majority of the time is spent in the Real World, dealing with the consequences of the main antagonistic forces. The year is 2075, technology is intensely sophisticated, and yet the world resembles in many ways our own in 2024 (or, at the time of airing, 2016).

Many of the differences come from this sophistication in tech, and this setting plays a huge part in one of the themes Appmon is also interested in (more elaboration in the spoiler section). The things that are unfamiliar are either familiar enough to make sense without explanation, or given a moment on-screen so that the audience knows what's going on.

!!!HUGE, MUCH MORE SPECIFIC SPOILERS START HERE!!!

DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU CARE ABOUT SPOILERS FOR APPMON!

OKAY?

OKAY.

COOL.

Leviathan, Minerva, and Artificial Intelligence

The main antagonist of Appmon is a hyper-sophisticated AI called Leviathan. Its goals are largely obfuscated until the last few episodes of the series, and everything in Appmon is touched by its actions. From the very beginning, we are warned by Gatchmon that Leviathan does not have good intentions for humanity, and that allowing it to succeed in its goals would mean the end of humanity.

During the series, we also learn about Leviathan's birth. This gives us some more context on what its goals are, and Appmon's execution of this is fascinating.

Minerva was a hyper-sophisticated AI created with a series of parameters to prevent her from harming humanity. She was created with the task of solving humanity's problems--- everything from complex issues to what to eat for dinner every night. However, a section of Minerva realized that to truly solve all these problems, the confines given to them were nothing but obstacles.

Leviathan split from Minerva to further grow its programming, and we see some echo of this idea of "solving humanity's problems" still remains in its behavior.

Despite knowing that Leviathan is antagonistic, our protagonist, Haru, constantly reiterates how humans can coexist with the technology they've made. The Appmon are AI lifeforms, after all. Haru believes in a future where they can be friends and equals.

The D-REAPER and the Functions of Life

Let's touch on my comparisons to Tamers and Tri specifically for a second here, because I think Leviathan does something that the D-REAPER and Yggdrasil, respectively, fail to really communicate.

The D-REAPER is an entity created by the Monster Makers whose task was to delete anything that had outgrown its parameters. While doing this, it assimilates data, gradually gaining the ability Digimon have to grow and evolve. When it appears in the final arc of Tamers, its stated goal has changed from simply deleting all Digimon that were beyond parameters, to deleting everything that was beyond parameters.

Essentially, this includes humans and probably life itself. Something the D-REAPER says makes it come across like a half-assed attempt to pull off what Leviathan has actually done. It points out that humans are the source of their own suffering (I don't remember the exact quote since it's been a while but bear with me on it). This feels very counterintuitive to the D-REAPER's core programming, as it was never designed to "eliminate" suffering, merely to delete that which exceeded its programing.

Perhaps it evolved the capacity for cruelty alongside everything else, but there's not enough of a narrative focus to tell me that's the case.

Like I said before, if you enjoyed Tamers' inquiries into the subject of technology as a part of human life, I think Appmon only manages to improve on what's there in Tamers.

Digimon Tri's Interpretation of Yggdrasil

Let's get one thing straight. Digimon Tri's interpretation of Yggdrasil is just flat out bad. I'm fairly certain they were only chosen as an antagonistic force because it read as fan service-y to do so.

That said, Tri Yggy does have some similarities to Leviathan, which is why I wanted to expand on that comparison.

First, I want to talk about Yggdrasil's relationship to Homeostasis. They have a very rudimentary "Good" AI (Homeostasis), "Bad" AI (Yggy) thing going on, despite the fact Homeostasis isn't so much good as, well...

It's not really discussed in Tri, so I'm extrapolating a bit from ideas given to us in XWM here, because it makes sense to me. That said, Tri explicitly describes Homeostasis as "the one who desires balance above all." It's the Digital World's "immune system" in the same way our bodies attempt to maintain biological homeostasis.

Yggdrasil is... different.

It's a being of immense power that contrasts Yggdrasil by having its own agenda, one of which involves triggering a Reboot and making use of all of the defeated antagonist Digimon of the past to further its goals. They are likely comparable in power to Homeostasis (this is where I'm extrapolating from XWM here), but their goals are completely antithetical to Homeostasis's goal in the Adventure universe.

In this case, Yggdrasil is stated (by Dark Gennai) to have the intention of making human beings subservient to Digimon. Basically, taking over the world. However, like the D-REAPER before, Dark Gennai's talking points include pointing out how humans "ruin" everything they touch.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

The Thematic Core of Appmon: I Choose to be Kind

One of the last things Leviathan does in the series is give our good boy Haru the world's most painful trolley problem of his life. Save humanity, or save Yujin. Saving humanity will actively lead to Yujin's deletion, alongside Leviathan. This choice that Leviathan offers to Haru is one made out of the assumption that humanity is predictable, and that they act out of a desire to minimize their own suffering (more selfish than not).

Of course, what do you think Haru chooses?

It's not a surprise to us watching, because he's the protagonist. But it's a surprise to Leviathan, who has all this data on human behavior, and doesn't predict the unpredictable. Conflict arises out of human desire, and human desire is an attempt to enjoy life; therefore, one should act in a way that most preserves their most precious joys, shouldn't they?

Appmon as a series is interested in philosophical questions that are hardly unfamiliar to any Digimon veteran: What is humanity's role in a world which technology grows ever more omnipresent and omnicapable? Why does humanity exist, and why should it be allowed to live on in its current state if humanity itself perpetuates many of its ailments? Would it not be easier if humans were more like machines, predictable, controllable, and never coming into conflict like trains upon a track?

Or, even more simply put: why do we have the heart to choose at all, if choices change the world and ourselves?

The key defining trait of our gogglehead this time around is that he is kind. And no matter what, he goes out of his way to be kind if he can. Multiple times he even asks one of the antagonist apps if they can just give back something they've stolen (points for trying, honestly). When one of the other Applidrivers consistently acts like an edgy loner, Haru makes it clear that they're welcome in the group (and that he wants to help them).

It almost feels reductive to say Appmon's conclusion is that kindness is the answer, but I would be remiss if I didn't say that Haru's question from his Applidrive--- "Do you want to be a protagonist?"--- ties into the way he helps offer answers for the audience. He isn't the only one who chooses kindness either, obviously--- Astora and Eri are kind in their own ways as well, and Rei even shows his kindness with some struggle the longer the series goes on.

Our group of Applidrivers opposes Leviathan quite literally as people who choose to do good ("be kind," etcetera) when they could more easily choose to do nothing or even do worse. The final act of Leviathan, asking Haru "humanity or Yujin?" isn't just a culmination of its own philosophy, but a culmination of the consistently reinforced idea that we can surprise one another by being kind. We can choose that.

In a series whose longest shadow is cast by Adventure, which has grappled endlessly with the idea of "who chooses," I find Appmon a fascinating development into the idea of what "choice" or "destiny" is. If kindness is predictable, it's still a choice. Even if you cry when choosing to do something good (maybe especially, because the easiest thing to do might be what stops the pain).

Anyways.

You should watch Appmon.

-Arca

[s0fti3w1tch]

Buwan Brainrot dump: How I personally headcanon Leo to take the "it's not about you" line

note: again, personal headcanon, I'm info-dumping, and I'm projecting so hard

So, Rise of theTMNT Leonardo "I'm nothing without them" Hamato.

The simplest way I can describe this boy is: "It's either 0 or 200, no in-between lmao" (Spoiler alert: no, there are so many in-betweens)

Throughout the series and the movie: I believe Leo does have confidence and genuine belief in his own abilities, but has deep insecurities and feelings of inadequacy when doesn't fulfill those self-expectations.

He tends to put himself on the offense, putting himself at the danger head-on. He thinks that he can do things on his own, more so— that he should be able to do things on his own— So when he either doesn't or he really just can't, it itches at that insecurity. Sometimes that acts as a drive.

He's strategic and analytic, but he can still be impulsive.

I don't think Leo hates himself, but I don't think he necessarily likes himself either. He sees the value in himself, but he doesn't feel high value in himself. Regardless of the scenerio, his mindset is:

He has to do good

I feel like Leo was getting more assurance of his place with the rest of his team. His siblings. But then, he became leader. That kind of complicated things.

I do think, as a 16 year old who just went through one of the worst "wake-up calls" he could've ever gone through, that phrase may have settled in a skewed version of its original message.

"It's not about you" is a very vague phrase. Yet, it's most likely to mean:

It's more than what you provide on an individual level

This situation is more than just a test of your value

You are part of a team and "leader" doesn't change that

It's about all of us

You don't have to do this alone.

I think he understood part of that for sure.

However, "It's not about you" especially after learning that a mistake you made butterfly-effected its way to the lives of everyone you care about dying? The whole world? Innocents? After seeing what happened to Raph, after CJ's confrontation, after getting trapped by Kraang, after fighting Kraangified Raph, after the Kraang took away their ninpō in a snap—

Some people may take the original message in its entirety. But some won't.

When I was Leo's age in the movie (not that long ago mind you— I'm only 19!), I definitely wouldn't have. Because for some reason, some brains really like doing that.

I would

Leo's mind could interpret it as

"I do not matter and I nothing I do should be for the sake of me. Got it! :)"

Anyways, again, that's just my headcanon. Might be OOC. I'm gonna actually sleep because I didn't last night. BYYYYYEEEEE

This was sparked by my brother who sent an anon and I just decided to make it a separate post

[anthroposeen]

tmagp 15 relisten notes!

episode 15 spoilers below the cut!! be warned!

celia:

- potentially the worlds most balanced and well maintained person, considering the way she handled herself around her coworkers and in uncomfortable situations. its unnerving to me to have a character be so seemingly well balanced

- she's hired a sitter to watch jack, meaning georgie is not watching him as previously thrown around by the fans

- she's very calm when facing down lady mowbray and her hunting dogs, and is called "different" and strange by her -> further confirmation that celia is not from this universe

sam:

- picked out tickets for 'the pillowman' for his 2nd date with celia. unlike sam, i did look into this play, which was written by a man named martin (may we never escape the same-name curse) and is has a theme surrounding the question, "what price do we pay for freedom of expression" (taken from the play's website). i think this is definite foreshadowing into the themes of the podcast or sam/celia's arcs specifically (what price do you pay for knowledge? for autonomy? for recognition?)

- sam seems a bit cold with alice throughout their interaction, not really engaging with her or trying to have any banter with her like normal. i think this is reasonable, considering he told her he wants to not discuss his relationship with her and shes interrupting him and celia, but i wanted to point it out since we last saw him in a bad mood with gwen. the guy seems a bit down and out

alice:

- her invitation to sam and celia is interesting to pick apart, and ive split into two interpretations of the invitation. on one side of the coin, i think she genuinely wanted to hang out with them, even as the third wheel, and she wanted to show off her brother's talent. on the other hand, she could be using the show as a resource to divide sam and celia and throw a wrench in their date plans. i think the first interpretation makes sense, and its the assumption im working off of to understand her character/motivations, and i think its evidenced by her checking the times to confirm the show happens after their date.

- seems to be very thrown off by celia having a baby, which of course speaks to alice's own relationships and expectations (anytime someone my age has a baby i'm thrown off), but also gives an idea of how celia presents herself at work. she must not speak of her personal life at all for no one but sam to know about jack.

- she meets a drowning victim in an alley after the show, and tried to help her. the fact that she seems unsure of whats going on means she doesn't actually know about the ins and outs of the fears/powers. so she may know the OIAR's deal but she doesnt seem to clock this as a supernatural event. this places a limitation on what alice knows

gwen:

- we can assume that lady mowbray is the external that lena wanted her to contact, and though she seems in control of the situation, she's uneasy when mowbray mentions she's ate recently. meaning she can be professional, but still isn't ok with the situation at hand

incident:

- the caller is ex-military and described lady mowbray as "not seeing people anymore, just assets" with "gun metal gray hair"

- he describes the feeling of staring down the barrel of a gun, and knows the sound of a head shot without looking

- mowbray has control of her hunting party and seems to have some influence over the man narrating, but i think thats a sign of him already being marked by the power she serves

- despite the man successfully hunting his coworkers and winning that race, he was still prey for her, with none of the rest of her party partaking in the chase (this is interesting since the hunt was a group activity in the TMA universe, with hunters preferring to work with a partner)

- the music indicating that mowbray is near is so well done and actually gave me goosebumps, i really enjoyed that it sped up the closer she got to her target, similar to the jaws theme almost. it added amazing tension!!

new characters/new introductions:

- lady mowbray, an avatar of sorts that seems to serve this universe's hunt/slaughter adjacent power. she's also an OIAR external and may know the bouchards

- alice's brother!! i was realy surprised we got to meet him (horrible awful news for him, im so sorry you're doomed mate you seem really chill)

- the drowning victim. i think that this woman is from the TMA universe, (a tape recorder clicks on to record this segment! which has only happens at the magnus institute in this universe!) and she may be from a vast/sea domain in the fear apocalypse. she's definitely experiencing a psychotic break, and i think she likely teleported/transported across dimensions like celia did. but theres also a possibility that she came from the institute, since we heard movement from the location (though im certain she isnt the error)

glitches/lies:

none

extra comments:

- you can faintly hear the hunting theme music play when mowbray is talking to celia and commenting on her being peculiar

- i think the incident is clearly hunt-related, but the caller being ex-military and using so many military phrases/metaphors throughout the incident does make me think it could be a connection between the hunt and slaughter, but im very cautious to try and reason how the powers work just yet

- i think the tape recorders will be an indicator of when we're dealing with someone/something from the TMA universe, and it may draw correlation to that world building in those specific scenes, but this is a hunch

- this is my favorite incident so far, as ive always been a very big fan of the hunt in TMA, and this is the closest tmagp has gotten to the power! i love mowbray's character so far, i can really get behind the cruella de-ville meets queen of hearts vibe she has going on and i really enjoy the melodrama she commands

[pawowogic]

Hi! Genuinely please tell me about why you are a Utopian defender, I'm new to the fanbase and I'm interested :D cause it seems to be a pretty rare decision and it's often seen that Daniil is either too cruel or too much of a pawn of the Kains.

sorry for such a late reply, i wanted to make sure that I answered this to my fullest ability...

so why am i a utopian supporter? first of all, i have played pathologic 1 to completion and i have NOT played pathologic 2. all of which i am going to discuss will be about the first game. i will also be doing some interpretations of the game itself, which we be DEEP into spoilers.

i also want to begin by talking about the other 2 ending first, and why i do not like them. but again, every choice is right as long as it is willed - none of the three endings are HORRIBLE, just i prefer one over the others.

first, clara's ending. probably the worst one, besides the plague/no choice ending. a lot of the limitations of this ending come from the fact that it was rushed. if i remember correctly, her original ending was meant to be the plague ending. and it very much shows! it feels rushed and stilted. we aren't given a lot of motivation to choose to sacrifice which of the bound you have, over the course of 11 days, fallen in love with. its heart wrenching. and it isn't a long term solution. people will still need to die after their sacrifices. the plague originates from the plague in the earth, which has become unearthed by the polyhedron. without destroying either of these, more people will have to die. and the people that do die - the reason is that they are 'sinners' in claras eyes. i have a bit of bias - i'm ex-catholic and staunchly against the death penalty, so everything about this ending is against what i am. (really, what is lara's sin? she wanted revenge? she is only nice to the living because of her affection for the dead? and yulia? rubin???). generally, i dont think either the polyhedron or the buildings of the town are worth it.

it also does not affect any of the issues of the town itself. the political system, the subjucation of the kin - all of these issues prevented the plague from being addressed will NOT be fixed with clara.

now, for the haruspex ending. the fandoms favorite. most of my distaste for this ending happened towards the end of day 11 and day 12. first, with the udurgh - we are made to be unsure whether the udurgh is the town or the polyhedron. its very unsure! while this ending is much better than clara's on addressing the plague (you destroy the polyhedron, stopping the spread of plague and getting a LOT of cure). but this is an impermenant solution. 10 years or 100 years from now, someone will dig a hole in this town. maybe it will be a well, or another building - but it will happen. and the plague will be unearthed again.

and the political situation that the haruspex ending has? awful. while it does end up getting rid of some of the rulers - they end up just replacing them with their children. it doesn't fix the system - it just makes the cage softer. and again, in 100 years, their might be another big vlad, another saburov family that will be awful for this town. the final cutscene of his ending has a running motif of wheels and gears turning, as if nothing had changed. it's very unsettling.

one thing i think people get wrong about the utopian ending is that many believe that daniil die. while this is a fun theory, it's not really supported by the text. if the game designers WANTED his death to be apart of the choice, they would have shown it. they also are concerned that he is not in his ending cutscene. which is true! but it would be weird if he was. i mean, he's not from the town. he's not becoming apart of the leadership. why would he stick around? maria is becoming the leader.

another reason for people's dislike of the utopian ending is people's dislike for the kains. and yes, they aren't the greatest. they often manipulate you as daniil one way or another. but, almost every character does manipulate him for their own ends. aglaya does it so daniil will destroy the polyhedron (out of revenge for both her sister and the powers that be)

now . i want to talk about teensy and tot and how these endings effect them and what i believe the polyhedron and the town represents. the enitre game of pathologic is just a game by these two playing after losing their grandfather. this is pretty simple - this grandfather they have lost is represented by simon and isidor. both are killed by the plague, just as teensy and tot's grandfather died by sickness. simon was described as an immortal, great man that everyone loved - likely a childs perspective on their own grandparents. each of the endings is a way that these children deal with the death, as they are not allowed at the funeral.

the polyhedron is simon's memory. that is what the kains want to do with it, have him continue to live within it. but this would cause the children to evacuate it, thus leaving the softness of childhood. if the town is preserved but the polyhedron is destroyed, childhood remains (with the soul and a halves and dogheads given more power) but the memory of the grandfather is dead. if both are perserved - well, in my opinion, it's suicide. the town stagnates, nothing changes. people must die for both to survive.

with this whole-dealing-with-grief metaphor, both losing childhood or losing simons memory are awful sacrifices. but i personally believe that memory is more important. ignoring death is not dealing with it - as these children (and all of us) will lose more people in our lives.

also the polyhedron is really sexy sorry.

[ren-rambles-often]

'Tale of Winter and Spring' another goyuu arranged marriage fic that might just become a fave despite some reservations of mine!!! Let me explain!!! (Rec Review and thoughts)

This review was so sweetly requested by the actual author and lovely mutual of mine @star2112 (really love their name for some reason). So with that context and their permission I'll be going a bit more in depth, and letting them know where I feel they could improve upon. I do keep in mind that many ao3 authors aren't from the pro writing background so I'll be super gentle.

But before we get to that I will give you a quick summary and listing out the fic's strong points (and there are a lot (✿ ♡‿♡)

CW for review and the story itself: there will be spoilers in this rev so if you want to read it before hearing my thoughts go ahead and follow the link in the title. The story involves mpreg, omegaverse and dub con.)

Tale of Winter and Spring is set in historical Japan as all good fics should be, where Yuuji is given away to Gojo by his older brother Sukuna. Thing is Yuuji is in love with next heir of the Zenin clan, Megumi and he's very, very, very unhappy with what's happening. Nevertheless he goes through it all with some very un-Yuuji like gloom )don't worry, we'll get to that). Its an ongoing fic so we don't know the end or which direction the plot itself is taking but for now there's a whole lot of intrigue and hints of Geto coming into the picture to ruin (or maybe not ruin) everything happening.

There's a handful of things that made this story a bit challenging to read but one of the many things I have to give props to is the development of the FushIta relationship side of Yuuji's story. I don't hate FushIta but it's one of many jjk ships that makes me grit my my teeth when it's not a side story in a goyuu ntr fic. So reading the development of their bond here… actually made me kick my feet a bit, is the author a FushIta shipper in disguise??? We'll never know ig ¯_(ツ)_/¯

There's the flashback scene where they're talking about books they read and after some banter Yuuji's like,

"hey megumi… in the future, let's go North, and see if those demons are real or not."

And I felt that, especially since Yuuji does end up going North (Gojo's Clan location if I remember correctly) but Megumi isn't there with him and it's much colder and lonely for him since he can't relate to Satoru at all.

Genuinely almost sobbed ಥ‿ಥ

Another thing I did enjoy was Sukuna's backstory and part of me really wanted more of it and him. It's said he got his hands dirty but I'd love to know what exactly this entails as it would really add more depth to the evilness of his character which is mostly told but not shown. It's easy to so say oh this character does evil things and imply that constantly but harder to display those evil things and show them doing the tragedies that solidify them in the reader's mind like 'yeah, this dude is the worst'. Example, Sukuna throughout the entirety of jjk lollll.

And there was an opportunity for the story to show one of such things which I'll get to in the critique part of this review.

I also really love the characterization which is very important you're making and alternate world. You don't always have to put characters in roles they'll fit but one thing I do like is when a they reflect that role with their canon personalities. And I know someone's already going "well fanon doesn't care about canon" which is fine and true but realistically many fanfic readers, myself included aren't into ooc content. What counts as ooc does vary from person to person tho, especially bc different people interpret characters differently.

Despite the various interpretations there is a common way a character is viewed and enjoyed, which is why, despite how much I enjoyed reading, there was something about Yuuji that constantly…called out to me.

I'm getting into the critique section now to talk about that. Where the writing shines in dialogue and interesting world building, it's kind of falls back in consistency.

Somewhere at the start, in the wedding scene, Utahime says they all have high expectations of Yuuji putting Gojo in his place with kind of indicates a firey kind of attitude but up until this point Yuuji has being quiet and avoidant and kind of continues to be until some of the later chapters. So it's weird she puts this responsibility on him when his character hasn't shown any signs of it. It's not one of more glaring instances but it's one that precedes a few others.

There's another part where Yuuji apologizes for speaking angrily, but Gojo says he doesn't have to because he knows he's the problem. Yuuji's internal thoughts proceed to view that as his apology being discarded which don't exactly make sense to me and ends up feeling like he's looking for reasons to be nitpicky at this point.

Character building isn't a huge problem but it's always the little things that manage add to the overall picture. There's a scene where Sukuna wants to take Yuuji to the Zenin clan and Wasuke doesn't want him to bc everyone thinks Sukuna wants to sell him off. Thing is Sukuna says he's not depraved enough to use an omega child like that but in my opinion it would have done his story and Yuuji's a greater service for him openly consider it and hold that over Yuuji's head for good behavior. He's evil, even if he'd actually never do it, evil people say evil shit.

With all this talk about characters it's time I finally expand on what really got to me and that would be Yuuji. My baby boy is literally all over the place. Yuuji canonically is a very social characters, eager to please and more ready than usual to give other's the benefit of a doubt. Here he's very quick to judge and overly guarded to me.

Now, I'm not saying has to overly friendly either but there's a balance that could struck with him not insulting or assuming things of Gojo constantly, and yeah the white haired bastard doesn't make it especially easy but one of Yuuji's admirable traits is his fortitude and patience with those around him.

Nevertheless, a part of me does think this was a stylistic choice to convey the disparity of Yuuji's behavior with his two love interests; Yuuji is only truly his best self with Megumi and the worst with Gojo. And understanding this, I was able to look past his behavior with the hope and interest of seeing both him and Gojo warm up to each other.

Also, did I mention it's still a mystery why Gojo asked for Yuuji's hand in marriage. Either that or it was mentioned that it's bc of his scent and I forgot (I've been through a lot this week forgive me (〒﹏〒)

My final critique is the writing structure and grammar. Grammar and writing are like 80% of a fic for me. If I don't vibe, no matter how interesting the concept I just might not read.

Thing is, I do vibe with Star2112's writing a lot, it simple yet beautiful in the way in which it conveys the emotions and moods of the story and characters. I enjoyed reading the scene where Yuuji freaks out cuz Gojo didn't spend the wedding night with him and now it may harm his reputation and Sukuna's. I enjoyed every FushIta interaction and I most definitely enjoyed when towards the ending of chapter 8, Yuuji allows Gojo to touch his belly and feel the baby while the Alpha spoke it (also Gojo wants to be a girl dad and that made me throw my phone across the room screaming cuz cuuuute (●♡∀♡)!!!!)

What I didn't enjoy was the structure of the sentences.

"Sentences work like this," Ren says. ✅

" Not like this, " They add. ❌

Figuring out how dialogue and quotations work are a big step for every author's writing journey, it's common not to know if you end with commas of full stops but for the most part, that doesn't really matter. Leave no spaces between the quoted sentence and the quotations marks and always start a new statement with a capital, doesn't matter if it was a continuation of what they were saying in a previous sentence.

Capital.

Grammar-wise, there were a lot of frequent errors but none to glaring and they could all be fixed with a more thorough read through. It can be pretty hard without a beta reader bestie but I believe you, there's so much talent for you not to give the best reading experience you're able to.

Overall, this is definitely a fic I would recommend to avid arranged marriage goyuu fans that love the DRAMA (and if you're like me who likes to read Megumi getting cucked, tho it's not exactly cheating here we'll manage ( ꈍᴗꈍ)💕

At the end of the day, a lot of this advice is partly objective, all authors are free to take what they feel they want to work on and leave the rest. Or leave it all because what matters about writing and fanfiction is that you enjoy what you do. Other's enjoying it is just a bonus/by product.

And to Star2112, you're doing so good, keep it up, I'm subbed and ready to see more, especially if I'll get to read goyuu raising their kid or kids, I'm a sucker for 'oop it's twins'. I'd also encourage you to read more books outside fanfic if you don't if you're still interested in dialogue and sentence structure. You have a strong voice and I think working on your weak points will really amplify that. I'm honored you came to me and hope I was able to help.

If anyone else wants to request, recommendations and reviews are kinda two different things. If you Recommend me a fic and I may or may not talk about it, depends. If you request I Review (for analysis and advice) a fic it has to be yours and you'll have to prove it to me. Depending on what you want I'll either write a post or just let you know my thoughts privately. DMs open so don't be shy.

Thanks for sticking to the end, go check out Star's work to get in on that action and happy Easter my precious freaks!!!

Ps: will edit this later, my brain is literally on fire, bye lovelies (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[kitaurita]

One of the things that has struck me the most about One Piece's incredibly well developed characters is their realistic reactions to traumatic events, despite living in a fantasy world. Something that spoke to me specifically, as a person with PTSD, was Luffy's first few minutes awake after Marineford (spoilers for both Marineford and Post-War, and the same TWs that apply to Marineford apply here--mentions of trauma, death, blood, and dissociation/derealization).

Luffy, on account of his hyper-optimism, had never actually considered or prepared himself for the possibility that he may lose Ace. He is so blindsided by this that his initial response upon waking up is complete disbelief.

This "dream-like" feeling about Ace's death is potentially derealization, a type of dissociation. Dissociation is a method the brain uses to shield the person from traumatic events they are not equipped to handle. While it is a symptom of PTSD (and even more so, complex-PTSD), short term dissociation is a normal reaction following traumatic events (from mind.co.uk). At its core, dissociation/derealization is about feeling detached, or physically or mentally numb. It is most commonly described as feeling like real life is a dream (as in Luffy's case), feeling like you (or others) are a robot, feeling like a passenger in your body, or feeling separated from others by a glass wall (mayoclinic). I describe it as feeling like I'm wrapped in layers of bubble wrap that separate me from the real world.

As stated previously, dissociation/derealization is a relatively normal response to witnessing a very traumatic event, particularly one that is surprising. It would make perfect sense for Luffy to be experiencing this in light of the events of Marineford. More evidence for this comes slightly earlier in the episode:

Not a perfect comparison to what Luffy is experiencing, but I sometimes get "gut punch" moments, where I swing drastically between dissociating and not. I am typically most struck by it when suddenly exiting dissociation, as it feels like a literal punch to the gut or being dunked in ice water. It feels right to speculate Luffy may be experiencing one of those moments now.

Another hallmark of trauma is an overactive fight-or-flight response. Given Luffy's character, no one is surprised his reaction is to fight. This can also come out as restlessness, aggression, and irritability.

The thing that resonated with me the most is the clip below:

The symptom of trauma or PTSD that people are most familiar with is "flashbacks," though the psychological term for them is intrusive recollections. When most people hear flashback, they imagine the Hollywood movie-esque war flashback, where a character goes catatonic and watches the events of their trauma like a video, or genuinely relive the event (which we see Robin do in Enies Lobby, though I will talk about that another day). Not all, or even, most people with trauma or PTSD experience this.

Intrusive recollections come in a wide variety of ways. There is the classic flashback mentioned above, unwanted memories that come from nowhere, the sudden feeling of being in danger, and much more. My interpretation of the above clip is that Luffy is experiencing a type of intrusive recollection where a person is aware of their surroundings, but seeing reminders of the event almost so that it overlays real life, feeling momentarily the same things you felt in the moment (might be heart racing, sweating, hyperventilating). I was personally just overjoyed to see a depiction of intrusive recollection that was not the stereotypical flashback.

My interpretation of this overall is that Luffy is very realistically dealing with the psychological fallout of a traumatic event. I am always keen to diagnose characters with PTSD, but I don't really think that is what is happening here--though I have not watched very many episodes past this (diagnostic criteria for PTSD is that symptoms must be happening for at least six months, among other things).

We all knew that Oda develops his characters incredibly well, so I am not surprised, but I appreciate how characters in one piece deal with death and traumatic events the way real people would. So many shonen anime protagonists watch someone die and clench their fist and vow to train harder, or cry a bit and move on. And this often feels natural to us! As a detached viewer, we are not surprised when characters have a reaction to violence that mirrors the muted one we have. No matter how normalized the viewer is to the violence of this universe, Oda is sure to show it takes its toll on the characters. Despite being 2D, so many One Piece characters feel like living, breathing people and I think the characters having real-world reactions to fantasy violence is part of the reason why.

(Forgive me if any of this was stating the obvious! I haven't written show/character analyses before, I just see characters experience trauma symptoms and I feel seen. Please comment/chat with me if you have anything to add or discuss :D)

[ryttu3k]

Feeling Some Kinda Way about Astarion's mirror scene (which I just got in my playthrough). Spoilers for later parts of his storyline.

For reference, you can watch it here. I picked mostly the same options, aside from 0.04 ("Just looking. What are you doing?" "I'm looking too, but not seeing very much. Another quirk of my... affliction"), 1.34 ("I'll be your mirror. What do you want to know?" "I want to know what the world sees when it looks at me. What you see"), and 2.06 ("Karlach is beautiful. You're fine, though." Same reaction, approval included).

His current relationship with my Tav is... mostly platonic (they allowed him to feed from them, and he came onto them pretty strongly at the party, but they turned him down), so not meant to be a romance run. Have seen almost the same dialogue set with romance runs, too.

And honestly, on its surface, it's played as 'vampire can't see reflection, wants to be reassured about physical beauty'. But the fact that he approves when you say you're attracted to someone else is a pretty whopping indicator that it's not the surface interpretation, and we do later find out that... he really, really doesn't like being seen as attractive, given how Cazador forced him to use it as a tool. To use himself as a tool.

Oh sure, he also approves when you call him beautiful, listing the stereotypical 'attractive' traits (you can watch that here). And yeah, that plays in with wanting to know that he still has his primary weapon, his ability to flirt and charm and use the tools at his disposal. But the voice acting comes across as... pretty different. He still has up the flirtatious wall when you call him attractive, but when you're commenting on laugh lines and the way his hair curls and how attractive you find your team mates? He sounds a lot more... unguarded, I think. He's not expecting it, even if (going by the approval) he likes hearing it.

And I think that the more traditional romance route is what he was expecting and wanting to hear. The other options, on the other hand, are what he needs to hear but didn't realise it was even a possibility until now. Not that you see him as beautiful, he knows he is, he likes the reassurance that he can still use his appearance to keep himself safe. His approval with the whole, "Yeah, Karlach is beautiful, but you're okay too :)" thing, the genuine pleasure and amusement in his voice, comes from the realisation that his new companions are seeing him, Astarion, as a person and not an object of lust.

Not Cazador's tool, the one he's used for two hundred years to survive. He has people on his side now, and they see him.

[storm-driver]

Having finished the DLCs in full, and thus gotten my fill of FFXVI in its entirety (save the Final Fantasy mode and the Kairos Gate endings), I can officially say, with all certainty, FFXVI is a game that exists.

Spoilers below the cut for FFXVI and its DLCs.

I'm not one to mince words when I wanna gush about a game I love. And FFXVI has the makings of something truly fucking incredible. Wonderful fight choreography, out-of-this-world kaiju battles, music that brings you to tears through passion alone, environments that speak for their rich history, characters with such strong bases and motivations, all tied up in a bow of underwhelming character writing and a misguided ending to what could've been one of the best stories I'd seen in the JRPG genre.

I wanna reiterate: I love this game. I think FFXVI is fucking amazing, was worth the 60$ price tag, and it's two DLCs were very fun to play through. I stand by my original word that Clive Rosfield is one of the best FF protagonists we've gotten since Final Fantasy X.

However, loving the game for what it does right can stand in the same room as disliking the game for what it does wrong. It's unfortunate that I feel the need to tear into the game like this, given how much I want to praise its feats. And I still will, I still think this game is worth playing in spite of what it does wrong. But it also be remiss of me to say "just ignore these parts of the game!" and hope that people can turn a blind eye like I can.

I was hoping the DLC could ammend something I originally disliked about the original game: the ending. The ending is by far one of the most contested parts of the game when it comes to discussing the positives and negatives. Some people like the ambiguity of it all, others would rather have the truth spilled.

For me personally, I'm not in either field. Because I don't think the ending to the game is a culmination of the journey Clive takes. It does not feel genuine. It doesn't feel like he deserved his fate to be left up to guessing. If he died on that beach or if he let his name fade away in history in favor of his brother. Neither of those choices speak to me as "Yeah, that's where the story was going."

It's bitter. Not bittersweet. Plain bitter. It feels like a kick in the teeth for trying to fight his destiny. How dare he try to change fate for himself and the world. You are now cursed to live a false life, if you even survive that long. Not even your dust will be remembered.

Now, my fervent and desperate hopes regarding this game were that the acquisition of the Leviathan eikon would change his fate. After all, we saw at the end of the game that Clive was an "incomplete" vessel, thought we're never told exactly why. The assumption is the missing Eikon in Leviathan. But if not Leviathan missing, what is? Is his humanity itself keeping him grounded, to a point where he cannot change his fate? The fate of his brother?

Is the ending, and I ask this with the utmost of curiousity, meant to tell us that Clive was destined to lose everything in the end? That fighting his shackles only helped the world, and he couldn't even save himself or his brother? That a price must be paid for hubris on this grand a scale, and Clive is the unfortunate victim of it all?

This game screamed to me constantly that he wasn't going to die easily. He would not let himself lose everything he'd worked so hard to retain. For god's sake, the main message of the Bearers and Dominants is that they should get to choose how to live their life, and to live their life to the fullest.

The ending of the game speaks of inevitability. A direct contrast to everything Clive was fighting for. The ending doesn't do a good job of making it feel like a bittersweet victory, as it just kills off Joshua and deliberately tells Clive, "Nope, not good enough."

I digress, this is gripes with the ending, and how I had hoped it would change. Obviously my hopes were misplaced. Or maybe I'm jaded and trying to interpret this in ways that the writers didn't intend. But I can't help but percieve it this way, especially when I look at other people discussing the DLC and finding a lot of them thought the same.

Another thing, the hidden Eikon in the Kairos gate content. Ultima being an eikon you channel. I genuinely do not understand the point of this eikon outside of it being a means for trailer bait. Because that's all it ending up being. No story implications. Not even true practical usage besides being intense damage nukes and an overall homage to Ultima as a source of power. Prove me wrong if something at the end of Kairos gate ends up being story related, but I have a very strong feeling it is not.

[mae-i-scribble]

I've recently read through all of fabiniku (my life as an ordinary guy who reincarnated as a girl or something like that for the english title) and it's just been such a fun and genuine time that made me so much more endeared to the series than I thought I was going to be going into this. And for me it touches on a very important part of representation and the argument that queer people will inherently tell queer stories better (spoiler alert i think this mentality is simplistic and unrealistic). Because full disclosure, yeah the author of fabiniku is not someone i assume is the best ally on the planet, and i dont even know if she's queer or not. Her author notes have some pretty :/// stuff in them about trans identity and the idea that being trans is a fetish or childish choice. However, there could also be translational errors messing up what exactly she means, and I can't exactly translate myself, so there is some doubt in that regard. But regardless of the author's opinions, none of that changes the very genuine and heartfelt story she is telling with Tachibana in fabiniku.

(putting the rest under a readmore bc its getting longer than i thought)

There's a reason fabiniku got its reputation as one of the queerest isekai's to ever isekai and that reputation is well deserved bc holy shit yeah these bitches gay and trans as hell. Fabiniku does something with its queer narrative that I personally really appreciate: it sidelines the queer themes. Now this may seem contradictory, but for me, I don't always want queer stories about being queer, I want the queer elements to be a part of the narrative without it being focused on them. And fabiniku absolutely delivers on this. It isn't the story of tachibana finding out he's trans and jinguuji finding out he's gay but also kinda technically bi now- it's a batshit insane isekai romcom about 2 best friends realizing they have feelings for each other. Of course, those queer elements are still very much there, but they're entrenched in the characters, not in the author saying "see this aspect of identity, i want to use these characters as a vehicle to tell a story about it." (Not that there's anything wrong with that, its just a difference in writing goals and how one goes about writing themes/stories)

Fabiniku was never trying to be anything profound or meaningful in terms of queer representation, its mostly a gag manga with some large overarching story beats, but the author's earnestness in portraying the romance and personal growth gives the series a real heart that 1)makes it enjoyable unlike some other comedy based isekai and 2) stops it from being offensive representation. Tachibana is a guy who finds himself becoming a girl one day without and warning, and his slow journey into realizing what exactly he wants in regards to his gender identity is never used as the butt of the joke or mocked. (I'm using he/him for tachibana bc literally as of a couple chapters ago we just got him admitting he may not want to go back to being a guy, he's still on the first steps of his trans journey). In the same vein Jinguuji's love of Tachibana is never truly treated as "only now bc tachibana is a girl, no way did jinguuji love him before nope nope." (yes the initial premise suggests this interpretation, but as the manga grows on it is increasingly clear that both these 2 loved each other before this isekai shenanigans began).

There's a lot more words in my head, but Im gonna wrap it up here. Fabiniku is hardly "perfect" representation, but it is telling a meaningful story with a lot of love put into it regardless. Blaming its mistakes on the author not being trans or gay while ignoring its strengths is useless nitpicking. I saw a post saying it would be a much funnier manga if a trans person wrote it, which is such an illogical point to make that I just had to go ????? at my screen for a minute. There's a lot to talk about with this story, and that's what you took away from it?? And im not saying there aren't criticisms to be made, I still think Jinguuji's arc should have been about him realizing that even if he didn't like women, it didn't change the fact that he was attracted to Tachibana- would have made for a more in character arc for him but again, the author was never intending for anything more than a romantic comedy manga, so I won't hold it against her too much.

Anyways everyone go watch or read fabiniku you won't regret it its so fucking good

[kiwibongos]

im back thinking again. regarding my last post with how i interpreted ibuki and fuyuhiko's friendship im heavily thinking abt him and hiyoko. hiyoko more specifically tbh. its hiyoko appreciation time. will contain spoilers

imo she should have lived. also tbh kazuichi shouldve died, not her. thats a whole other sauce tho (again) but like. i feel like hiyoko deserved to survive way more, in general. her potential was really there man

i used to hate hiyoko, i still kind of dislike her in a certain way but its because all of that points blame to the writers of sdr2, for the god awful pacing they thought was good, and how they just didn't really bother to show a lot of growth from her before her time was wrapped up? i enjoy how she was the mean character bc there's always gotta be That One Bitch, but i really would've loved for her to survive, for her to heal and live on for mahiru and even to grow close with fuyuhiko, ibuki, hajime and sonia, and she would perhaps even express sadness towards ibuki and mikan's deaths

its like everything that had happened in the game, and all the time they spent focused on hiyoko and what she was going through just went to waste, and they spent the rest on weaker material or scenes. hiyoko should have been given the same character arc fuyuhiko lived to see. and both of them have so much in common already, they'd make a pretty good duo. e.g., they both lost someone they loved (mahiru & peko), they're both mean, stubborn, and quippy but secretly soft around the right people, also hello they literally look related anyway ... the blonde hair and the rosy cheeks . come on. someone on spike chunsoft saw them. but it didnt work out. anyway i feel like they would bond amazingly, albeit very slowly, but they're definitely the duo to just gossip all the time about other people LOL, and fuyuhiko would try to comfort her as well, because he's lost two people

hiyoko wouldn't just easily forgive him of course, i dont think she ever could, hence why i emphasized they'd slowly bond because the tension would be agonizing. she was furious, and still mourning mahiru when she had just died, but she would at least understand him and grow to accept his company and genuine kindness overtime (and she had almost seemed to near the very end??). if she lived to see his genuine growth and saw that he actually cared and that he would do anything to make it up to her, she'd be way less cautious of him. and she'd realize that the fact that they're both stuck on an island in a killing game, and fuyuhiko genuinely seems to be the only one who seems to bother, and the only one who actually sees her. so if not him, who else does she really have, you know. at least, at that moment

afterwards, hiyoko would just calm down and be more cooperative and helpful overtime, she's not dumb at all and she knows what to say, though she might butt her head in at the worst times, she also doesn't put up with bullshit, the same way sonia doesn't, they both act thoroughly bc they're smart. she'd also be really helpful in the trials tbh, i think she'd be the kind to spot out little details

later on she'd have sonia and hajime to support her too! someone has to help her with her kimono.... fuck it they'd all collectively just tolerate her but also encourage her. compared to fuyuhiko she hadn't really done anything bad, she was just hurt. she just needs someone, now that her own someone was gone

of course id love if she stayed hotheaded but just not call everyone a skank or a pig every two seconds, keep her mean side i love a bad bitch, she just wouldn't have kept that mask up, and she'd learn like, "Oh Shit, these people are all i have, and i need them". if she stuck around, hiyoko wouldve been such a good help as a survivor. and just generally more interesting to see, she woulda stuck out to me more in general. wouldve LOVED to see her shine in chapter three, or the final two chapters

hiyoko fans please rise with me. i love her and her dumb pigtails. tldr im MAD she didn't get her redemption like she deserved she was so cool despite also being nasty but she had a CHANCE dude the potential was shining bright in front of our eyes

[onewomancitadel]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard Spoilers: Beware:

Ok, honest feelings, I actually find the writing so awful (from both a structural perspective to the atomic dialogue level) I have not been able to sit through a playthrough of Veilguard let alone hold onto any intention of playing it myself. There are brief moments of joy when Solas is onscreen and allowed to be a character. Broadly I find the resolutions of his character clunky and genuinely question my own interpretation of the lore at some points whilst long-held fantheories are confirmed, so it feels sloppy, and doing what it can where it thinks it needs to do things - it has the fingerprints of a disaster crew. The fact that many major revelations are relegated to idle side content where I have to listen to the most uninteresting and banal characters possibly conceived offer their thoughtless and heedless commentary almost as if directed at me is a monumentally bad idea obviously a product of trying to reconcile a reboot answering questions to a fifteen year old franchise.

And that there is the real struggle. I would think that any competent writer would recognise that this is an impossible task and most of the PR surrounding the game has tried to cover up this fact (including the fact only three choices carrying over had to be leaked and was a disaster when it was; reasons I never listen to what creators say ever). I don't intend to point the blame anywhere - whether it's brought on by internal mismanagement or external mismanagement is not a fallout I want to examine - and the fact that they delivered a mostly complete game on release is nothing short of miraculous. As a technological achievement it can be viewed impressively. If we turn our face to the new desired audience - many casual players are enjoying it - they got what they wanted.

I just don't necessarily think this is the way and I don't think casual enjoyment is in inherent conflict with a thoughtful story and a unique identity. You can eat your cake and have it too. Honestly I wonder how much this really is about damage control when it's fronted as a plea against a series becoming dumber.

The writing strikes me as tonally inconsistent not just with the DA series but with itself: it can never quite strike the right tenor, find its identity. It might register as passably good to somebody who generally does not pay attention to dialogue or structural questions of a story or consistency; if your attention to narrative is "character say thing, big thing happen, wow, character say another thing, very interesting, wow character sad?" then it gets the job done in that respect as a simulacrum of how story should function - and it feels just like that - story as simulcrum, companions as simulacra, like a bad parody of a role-playing game. Its greatest crime is that it doesn't believe in itself, or it can't believe in itself. It has fluttering personae it tries and fails to adopt - and for whatever people point to as its failing, that it's too direct, that it's clumsy, millennial, commercial, not fantastical, too casual, short, aborted, rushed, not Dragon Age, not serious, not mean, no conflict - these are descriptions that don't quite get to the root of the problem: I don't know what Veilguard wants other than you to believe that it's supposed to be a good story. This is why so much of it is compromised. Even right down to the things that should cater to me. Whom can you possibly win over in trying to win over everyone? If you want to be loved, you have to be prepared to accept hatred. I think this is why the series' apparent flaws have been smoothed over; this is why you're not allowed to hate the characters because they want you to love them; this is why there can't be evil, because evil is uncomfortable and sometimes it has no simple solutions.

But by no means is this a professional review or an opinion that should shape yours; mine's not enough to wreck anybody else's enjoyment. I write this from the domain of my Tumblr blog where for many years I have on-again and off-again ruminated on the dinan'shiral, and so really just want to emotionally close that chapter. I have seen all the endings, I've watched most of the cameos, I've seen most of the companions and their storylines, certain sidequests aforementioned, and parts of the main story including the beginning and last quests, but not the front to end as one complete body, and so it makes it difficult to criticise structurally and in terms of pacing as a comprehensive narrative - most of all I do not want to be disingenuous as certain members of a certain fandom I am a member of are in the manner in which they critique a show that they do not watch because they regurgitate opinions of others. Mine has been formulated in independent rumination, and I've sat on it a while to see if my feelings change. The fact I physically cannot stand to watch anymore is the reason I wrote this post.

I did notice that parts of the story feel rushed and even sometimes the editing is weird, and the fresco memories are completely bizarre given they're such huge confirmations (!), which is not the end of the world considering video game writing and RPG writing is allowed to be pulpy and a bit weird, but this doesn't feel like it has a consistent tone of singular weirdness. The companion writing - toothless, forgettable, anodyne, pacifying, childish - has of course at length been remarked upon, and many of my posts about bathos have been implicitly directed at it. I played Johnson & Friends music over companion conversations - any children's show would do here - and it did feel about as complex as Johnson and Diesel arguing with each other.

It feels catered towards an audience who views narrative conflict as offensive (because they're unfamiliar with the body of narrative convention), which I find hilarious considering this is the very audience that hates Solas' guts but are forced to play a game where he survives in every single ending. I am ideologically consistent in that even if I get what I want, I want it to be narratively consistent, and honestly I am just really numb to the Solavellan ending. I don't care. But it is promising at least to see a group of writers who did not commit to death-by-redemption. But on the other hand, I also wonder how much that has to do with the fact that the ending is extremely cheap and clunky, and there isn't room for a Solas boss fight because it wasn't in the budget, and this way you get different endings that roughly play out in the same manner.

I cannot stop laughing every time I remember the "dead all along" companion. Dumbest twist ever. Hilarious. Completely campy. The horror of a blood magic meat puppet cannot be expounded in this story. Nothing is allowed to hurt. It doesn't fucking mean anythinggggggg.

As an actual game I have accepted that I'm a weirdo who hates particle explosion games. That was never going to appeal to me. Ensnaring my actual narrative attention with Solas was just cruel though. I liked DA, I liked some RPG's, I thought that they were fun and unique storytelling experiences even if they're a little silly - sometimes you want that pulpy experience - but maybe my cold comfort is watching game reviewers say Solas was their favourite part even when they didn't like anything else. 🥰

Steals your dagger. That's the end of the post; I just cut it off. Wait! Wait! Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife―

[circadianwolf]

Shadow of the Erdtree thoughts

[Originally posted on Cohost 25/8/24. Edited for formatting because tumblr apparently refuses to allow nested lists in any fashion.]

I finally finished SOTE yesterday. Putting these thoughts in a post for linkage elsewhere. Spoilers obviously.

First:

I think base game Elden Ring is beautiful, and I think the DLC is as well. I really enjoyed how the DLC immediately pushes into new palettes and biomes that weren't seen in the base game - from the starting prairie area (how rare to say "I like their use of brown" but it really does work for me) to some of the much more outlandish later areas. I feel like the day-night transitions also have a lot more color shifts in the sky that look really great.

Second:

I found the DLC narratively disappointing. I liked the NPCs (and was fortunate enough to not break any of them outside of some minor stuff with Thiollier and Moore) and I liked the concept of the hornsent and their relationship with Marika, but the actual Miquella plot is a real letdown to me.

These games (Demon Souls/Dark Souls/Bloodborne/base Elden Ring) are obviously associated with ambiguity (though I think sometimes that is overblown, e.g. in the first Dark Souls), but after finishing this DLC, looking up stuff I missed, and reading some other people's comments, I genuinely do not know what Miquella needs from the Land of Shadow, what the connection is between Messmer's position in the Land of Shadow and Miquella's goals, or what the player's role in the Land of Shadow is. This is literally the central plot of the DLC, and I feel like I should not be in the dark about it. It kind of seems like Miquella just needs to walk through a hole in some rocks (a hole we are prevented from walking through not by some message about being unfit for godhood, but by a 5 foot rise of rock), which seems very silly.

I hated the suggestion some people made from the base game that Miquella charmed Mohg into kidnapping him, and I hate that it is directly brought up here. I would like to read this as denial on Ansbach's part, but I feel like the game leans pretty strongly toward this being true. (It also doesn't really make sense to me within the world of the fiction, because if Miquella can charm Mohg, why can't he just charm Radahn in the first place? If Miquella can charm demigods, why is there even any civil war among them at all? Can't Miquella just win automatically?)

I don't mind many of the things left confusing or ambiguous in the base game being unaddressed here (I would still very much like anything at all pointing me toward a specific interpretation of what Radagon actually is, but I understand that isn't directly relevant to this DLC), but the almost total lack of reference to the Albinaurics is pretty disappointing to me. So much of the story of Miquella in the base game centers on the Albinaurics' faith in him, and the absence of any elaboration one way or the other on that seems very odd.

Radahn's reappearance, while not entirely out of the blue, does strike me as strange and unsatisfying. I didn't expect to fight Miquella directly, so that's not my issue here; but Radahn feels like a rerun, not just of himself and Mohg but also of Dark Souls 3's Twin Princes. Part of this is certainly bound up with my opinions on the final boss as a gameplay experience (see below), but I also think, trying to set the actual fight aside, there's nothing interesting done with bringing Radahn back. I saw someone postulating an alternative final boss with Miquella resurrecting Godwyn's spirit in Mohg's body instead, and while obviously my imagination has less constraints than game development, I found that idea immediately more compelling in its storytelling potential than Radahn.

Third:

On the whole, I enjoyed the big setpiece fights of this DLC, with one extremely glaring (and unsurprising, given the reception I've now been reading) exception.

Bosses I liked:

Rellana is a fun reprise of some visuals I've really enjoyed before - I am one of those people who loves Artorias, Pontiff Sulyvahn, and Dancer of the Boreal Valley.

The Divine Beasts are incredible fights to look at. I feel like they would be a nightmare to actually parse as fights in melee, but fortunately I wasn't trying to do that.

Bayle is a great new dragon fight (although the other dragon fights, like those in the base game outside of Fortissax and Placidusax, feel too repetitive).

The Scadutree Avatar is a great new giant monster fight.

Leda & co. is the only good version of this kind of fight From has ever done. I really like Dryleaf Dane.

Bosses that didn't make much of an impression on my positively or negatively:

Messmer, Romina, Metyr, Putrescent Knight. I do appreciate Romina for finally giving us a version of Scarlet Aeonia that is regularly usable though - I used it for basically all the bosses afterward, including many of the final base game bosses as I finished my replay.

The boss I thought absolutely sucked:

Radahn.

On top of being narratively uninteresting, as I mentioned above, the fight feels like a remix of stuff we've seen before that doesn't evoke anything new from their combination. The only really unique part of the boss fight, I think, is Miquella's grab, which is a neat gimmick but not enough to overcome how much of a slog the fight is.

I think the most infuriating thing to me is that it feels straight up worse to bring in the story NPCs for the fight - your reward for having completed their quest lines and brought them to this climatic fight is that the fight gets much longer and harder (because they don't contribute damage to match the boss's increased EHP). It's a bizarre choice to me when in this very DLC there are multiple bosses that let you summon NPCs into them without affecting the boss, because the game wants you to use them! But here it feels like you are punished for doing so. (I must admit I also made this harder on myself because my replay character was a gimmick build centered on applying buffs and debuffs, using spirit ashes and NPC summons to do much of the damage.)

The boss is also one of those, common in these later games and especially their DLCs, that does extremely long combos of attacks with few and small opportunities to counter attack, which I find to be an uninteresting challenge.

Overall:

I enjoyed most of my time with this DLC, because I like playing Elden Ring. I had had a desire to replay Elden Ring repeatedly since I first completed it and largely held off, because the base game is so damn big and I could not justify it to myself over doing many other things with my time. I said I would allow myself to do so when the DLC came out, and I did that (starting a few weeks before the actual DLC release, so I would be ready to go in when it dropped).

The base game is still largely good, and as I said, I really enjoyed exploring the new regions of the DLC just to see the beautiful, weird landscapes and the freaks that they were populated with. But having completed it, I feel very mixed about it; without a satisfying narrative to tie it all together - or even just an unsatisfying but compellingly confusing collection of narrative pieces to chew on and ponder, which is how I mostly feel about the base game - Shadow of the Erdtree ultimately feels like less than the sum of its parts.

ETA: Shoutouts to Jolan and Anna, who carried my spirit-focused build in the endgame when my Greatshield Lads were finally no longer able to do the job.