#i feel like nobody really understands why i’m so sad too and i just feel lonely about it
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thnksfrthmmrs · 8 months ago
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monstersflashlight · 3 months ago
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Commission for @ilove-hatethecw
A/N: Thank you so much for commissioning! Means a lot and this was such a sweet story to write. Hope you like it! <3
Request: An orc x human, where the reader is a human princess who married the orc in an arranged political marriage. The orc is rather distant because he believes that the reader wouldn’t want him romantically or physically because he’s so large and thinks that she finds him brutish. But she actually is really really attracted to him. Maybe add some breeding and size kink in there.
The princess desire
Orc x fem!reader || size kink, breeding, really fluffy (but filthy)
When the senate told your dad you were to marry the orc king for political reasons, you were resigned. Not ready to marry yet, enjoying your freedom way too much for a marriage with an unknown orc. But a part of you, the part that awoke at night when you were alone with your thoughts and fantasies… that part was more than happy.
As an avid romance reader, you were more than familiar with orc romances. You knew of them, but had never seen one in person. But good goddess did you want to. You had a thousand of fantasies involving orcs, and knowing you were to marry to one? That was more than enough to make you shake with anticipation.
You saw him before he saw you, big and beefy and completely and utterly hot. He filled all your fantasies and a bit more, you didn’t know how good he could look, how attracted you’d really feel to your husband to be until that moment. And your needy clit made you very aware of your husband. But when the reality of marriage came to be, you weren’t expecting it.
It wasn’t reciprocal. Your husband didn’t touch you, you talked a lot after the wedding. You shared meals and conversations, and you became really good friends, but he didn’t seek you out… sexually. He didn’t sleep with you. He didn’t want you as his wife… And that hurt. That hurt a whole lot. But after the sadness, the anger arose.
You were having a nice tea and biscuits when you broke down and asked: “Why wouldn’t you fuck me? It’s because I’m human?” You tried not to sound self-conscious, but you failed, a spark of hurt still shining through your anger.
He bit on the pastries he was eating, coughing as he let out a choked: “What?” He looked dumbfounded, like he wasn’t expecting that from you.
“You don’t like humans? You don’t find me attractive?” You pressed, tears filling your eyes as you tried to stop them from falling down your face.
You didn’t want to be pushy, but you really needed to know if your husband didn’t like you at all in that way. You knew it was a political affair, but you wanted more. You liked him, you liked him a whole lot… You loved him. And you wanted him to want you back, in every way it mattered.
He looked so confused that in any other circumstances you would have found him adorable. “What?! No. Yes,” he stuttered, looking at you like deer caught in headlights. “Yes, I find you very attractive,” he finally confessed, his face deep green as he blushed.
You tried to make it make sense in your brain, not understanding why he hadn’t acted on that then. “Then why aren’t we fucking like rabbits?” You asked, confusion bleeding into your tone.
“What? I- I thought you didn’t want that. I thought… I though you didn’t like me that way. You… You are cute and little and human and… I’m harsh and rough and brutish, too big for you. Too ugly.” Your heart broke a tiny bit at his words, suddenly understanding that the problem was never you. He was insecure and you didn’t realize soon enough.
Your protective instincts arose instantly. “Who said that?”
“I- Nobody.” His insecurities were more clear than ever.
You softened your tone to ask him: “Then why would you think that?”
“I don’t know… You are just so pretty and so great and I love you so much.” He realized a second too late what he just said, covering his mouth and his tusks with a big hand, his eyes as big as plates as he looked at you waiting for a reaction.
Your brain was short-circuiting at his words, not fully believing him. “You love me?” You asked, insecurity showing more than you’d like.
He thought about it for a couple seconds, your heart racing as fast as it could. “I do,” he finally answered, making the butterflies in your stomach go wild.
“Great. Because I love you, too,” you confessed back, surprising both of you. You weren’t planning on telling him like that, but it was out in the world now. And then everything was clear, and you needed one thing more than you needed air. “Now, are you going to fuck me or what?” You have enough time to pull your dress over your head before he’s over you, grabbing you by the waist and throwing you over his shoulder.
He walked to your room in long strides as you groped his ass, and he grunted. “You are playing with fire, little bride.” You did it again, smacking his hard ass as seeing it jiggle as you giggled.
“I want to get burned,” you teased him in return as you got closer to your room.
He threw you over the bed and undressed as you bounced up and down the mattress. He unwrapped his body like it was the best gift of your life and you licked your lips as he approached you like you were nothing more than prey to him. Your pussy getting instantly wet.
You licked your lips again, checking him out completely, his dick hard and huge hanging between his legs like an offering for you. “Fuck me, husband.”
He crawled over your body like he was savoring every second of it, his nostrils flaring as he smelled your desire in the air, groaning. “You don’t know what you do to me, do you?” He asked, his face dark green and his tusks gleaming under the sun coming from the window.
You reached down and jerked his dark green dick. “I have an idea.” You chuckled, his dick twitched in your hands as he grunted, kissing down your neck.
He ravished your boobs as you groaned, his tusks feeling dangerous against your tender skin, making everything more intense. He traveled down your body, kissing and licking your skin as he told you how pretty you were, how soft and wonderful. How much he wanted to be buried inside of you until you were leaking cum, a blabbering mess under him.
When he reached your pussy, you groaned as his tusks framed your pussy and his tongue found your clit. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he found the points that made you squirm and cry out fast as lightning. He ate you out like the best meal he had, grunting and caressing as his hands found your ass and pulled you to him, trying to get as much as you as possible. It was like being consumed in the best possible way.
You were so focused on the pleasure he was giving you that your orgasm caught you off guard, screaming his name as he drank out of you.
When you returned to your body, he was over you, his big body pressing down on you like a warm blanket, his dick asking for permission right at your entrance. “Are you ready, bride?”
“Fuck me like you mean it, orc.” Your last word was just a way to remind him you knew who he was, what he was, and it still turned you on incredibly. Turned you on so much that when he pressed against you, his dick slipped inside almost instantly. You both groaned at the intrusion, so good, so big, so wonderful.
He started at a slow pace, rocking his hips against you, but it soon wasn’t enough. You kept asking him to go faster, harder, and when he looked at you worryingly, you couldn’t do anything else but to kiss him until he forgot about his insecurities. You kissed him to consume him, to convince him you were in love with every part of him, orcish features and all.
He let go of his inhibitions little by little, going faster and harder until he set a punishing pace that made you see starts as he grunted against your parted mouth.
“I’m gonna breed you. I’m gonna fill you so much and so deep you would be feeling me for hours,” his words sounded like a promise and it made you shake under him, your body convulsing as you came around his shaft.
You cried out his name as your release made him lose himself in you, pumping you full of cum as he reached for your mouth once again, kissing you so passionately you felt your heart getting bigger because of how much you loved him.
You broke the kiss to whisper against his lips: “I love you, my orc husband.” He smiled down at you, his face dark green with the prettiest blush.
“I love you, my human bride,” he answered, kissing you again.
Reminder that you can commission me (info here) or suscribe to my Patreon (info here). And that my second account is @whiskis
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luveline · 8 months ago
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if you are looking for spencer and bombshell requests, what about the first time a girl flirts with spencer after they start dating, but bombshell is fully secure because she knows her worth and understands that he’s a catch? if you need more ideas i can squeeze my brain really hard
love ur brain pls keep squeezing it <3 fem!reader
You’re the cheesy girlfriend no one expects you to be. You change your phone contact for Spencer to ‘My Sweet Boyfriend’ with a heart, you hold his hand in stupid places (though you’d done that before, sometimes), you bring him coffee, you fluster when he kisses your cheek no matter your disposition —you're overwhelmed in the honeymoon phase, and everybody’s surprised. 
“That’s not very cool of you,” Morgan says, having noticed your ducked head, your smile dripping with a private pleasure and your cheek still shining with Spencer’s quick kiss. He’s gone to find plastic cutlery. 
“I’m not that cool when it comes to Spencer,” you say. 
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” 
Morgan is as pleased for you both finally getting together as anyone, even if he finds it foreign. It is weird to suddenly be openly in love with each other, and likely stranger for the team to see you in anything that isn’t total calm collection. 
“He’s so lovely.” 
“Yeah, I know,” Morgan says, more earnest now as he slaps a rolled sandwich down in front of you. “He’s a catch. I asked for no mayonnaise, was I supposed to do that?” 
Emily tucks her seat in next to yours. “He’s totally trapped by that secretary again, I hate to tell you.” 
You turn around. 
“Why would you tell her that?” Morgan asks. 
“What?” 
You peer out of the office door, where Spencer’s being chatted to by a stunningly attractive secretary. She has dark skin and darker hair, alluring almond eyes that light her sweetheart face with a bright charm. “Oh, she’s getting prettier,” you say. 
You’ve got Spencer Reid locked in. Nothing in you doubts that he’s currently infatuated with you. You don’t even care when he laughs at her joke, or when she dips her head bashfully toward him. 
“You better go and get your man,” Morgan says. 
“What for?” 
“She’s flirting hard,” JJ says. She’s only just looked up from her phone. “He’s gonna start blushing.” 
As if. You turn back to the table, unwrapping the paper from your sandwich with a happy sigh. Spencer looks so cute when he blushes, his cheeks turn pink and he smiles like he’s being tickled, it’s adorable. If that pretty secretary wants to do the hard work for you, it’s her prerogative. He’s your boyfriend. 
“I don’t need to do anything, he’s fine,” you say. 
You’re cutting your sandwich in half when you feel a presence behind your back. A familiar hand closes around your shoulder, a voice in your ear, “Thanks for nothing.” 
You giggle at his embarrassed tone, turning your face up to his, immediately delighted by his pink-tinged cheeks and neck. “You looked like you were having fun!” 
“You’re not gonna pretend to be mad?” he asks, leaning over you to open your sandwich. He pulls out a sad looking tomato and a similarly wilted slice of lettuce and closes it again. “Did you want a drink? I can’t believe you.” 
“Spencer, did you want me to come and get you?” you tease. 
“It would’ve been nice of you. Drink?” 
You laugh again, tugging him down by the wrist. “No, Spencer, I don’t want a drink, just sit down. What was I supposed to do? I’m not gonna pull her off of you.” 
“But why?” he asks, nearly not quite pouting. “She asked me if it was too hot in here for me.” He sits in the chair beside you, his hand dropping to the soft inside of your thigh as he leans in imploringly. “If you cared about me at all–”
Everybody laughs, including yourself. He’s clearly joking, and for once nobody on the team mistakes it for ineptitude, which seems to cheer him up. He gives your leg a rather bold squeeze considering who he is and where you are, and again when you gesture for him to lift his face to plant a kiss on the ridge of his jaw. “I do care about you, Spencer. Sorry I wasn’t jealous. Should we try again?” 
He turns your face away from your coworkers, eye to eye. “You’re making fun of me.” 
His hand trails to your elbow. “No,” you say, your skin tingling under his touch. 
“I don’t believe you. And I know you need a drink, they didn’t send your bottle of water. I didn’t manage to find those forks, either.” 
He gets up again. He hasn’t so much as glanced at his own food, patting your back in a promise that he’ll return before he edges out of the office and into the station’s bullpen. You take a smug bite of your sandwich. You can’t hide it.
“Told you,” you say once you’ve swallowed. You hadn’t needed to do anything, and you really aren’t worried about other women. “He likes me a lot.” 
“Understatement of the year.” 
You send Morgan a loving smile. When you glance over your shoulder, Spencer’s taking the long way through the office to the water cooler.
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christhopersturniolo · 8 months ago
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୨ PODCAST ୧
summary: matt leaves the podcast because of his brother's jokes, and y/n comforts him.
warnings: cussing, sad, fluff
notes: this fanfic was a request! also english is not my first language so im sorry about any mistake
୨୧
The day with the Triplets has been a little stressful, specially for Matt. Each time he spoke, his brothers would joke saying that he was being way too ‘depressed’ and ‘miserable’. Or Nick would always answer with ‘Yeah, yeah nobody wants to hear about that shit’.
Now, after they invited me to their podcast, here I am, sitting next to my boyfriend, holding his hand gently.
As Chris and Nick keep talking over their brother, calling him ‘Miserable Matt’ I could see him getting more annoyed, his eyes watering, and it feels like I'm the only one seeing his discomfort.
I don’t really know what to do, cause obviously his brothers are just joking, and I'm not sure how to intervene without making things awkward.
They keep teasing him over and over.
“I'm not going to sit here for like another 55 minutes or some shit.” Matt’s voice getting slowly lower.
“What? What was that? That mumble? I can’t understand you.” The older triplet mocks him, but he tries to ignore it. “Ok go ahead-“
“Now you are ‘mumble Matt’ too” Chris laughs after Nick’s comment. “It's like I can't even understand what you are saying, sounds like rocks rolling down a hill, your voice”
I try to end the conversation "Can we just-" Before I can finish, Chris and Nick burst into laughter "Can we start the podcast?" I try again, but Matt lets out a heavy sigh.
Nick continues “it literally sounds like an avalanch coming out of your mouth” Matt gets up aggressively, starting to leave the room “I’m not doing this shit anymore.”
“Oh come on Matt!” Chris says chucking. They laugh some more as I just think of what to do. I get up from my seat, hurrying after him “Hey.. Matt..” I begin, attempting to catch his attention. However, before I could reach him, he gets in his room, and slams the door in my face, leaving me standing outside. I'm sure this is not just about the stupid jokes they were making.
I hesitate for a moment before making any move, thinking if I should open the door, i’m sorry, but I can't just ignore the urge to check on him.
With a deep breath, I reach out and calmly push the door open. Inside, I find Matt lying on his bed, his face buried in his pillow, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
“Can we talk love?” I say quietly closing the door behind me.
He lifts his head, his eyes red and puffy, his expression a mixture of sadness and anger. "What do you want?" His voice defensive.
Ignoring his tone, I move closer and sit on the bed.
With a gentle touch, I reach out and place my hand on his back, offering a silent gesture of comfort. For a moment, we sit in silence, until I interrupt it.
“Can you tell me what has been going on lately?” I ask softly, my voice filled with concern.
“Nothings going on” He sniffs, still with his face in the pillow “I’m fine” His voice barely above a whisper.
I shake my head, not trusting his words. "You don't seem fine to me" He stays silent, I take a deep breath.
I adjust my position, leaning against the headboard of the bed. I decide to take a different approach instead of talking “Come here..” I pat the spot next to me, in sign for him to come closer “Let's just cuddle for a bit."
He completely stops acting rude in the moment I suggest it, Matt scoots closer, laying his head on my chest, his arms around my waist. I stroke his smooth brown hair. I kiss the top of his head. We stay like this for some good ten minutes.
He presses his face into the crook of my neck and whispers with a shaky voice “I’m just so fucked up..”
Gently, I cupped his cheeks, lifting his head from my neck, making him look into my eyes “Matt.. Why do you say that?”
"I just.. I don't know" He admits. "I'm just so fucking exhausted of feeling like this all the time..”
I sigh, I hate seeing him in this state. “Since when do you feel like that?” I wait patiently for Matt's response, he looks away.
“I don’t know.. For some long time now.. I guess I've been trying to push it away, but it just keeps coming back, over and over.” As he spoke, I could see the pain in his eyes.
"I'm sorry I couldn't see it sooner babe.." I whisper, reaching out to gently brush away his tears. "I should have known something was wrong." I kiss his forehead.
He shakes his head "It's not your fault" He murmurs "I don’t want you to worry"
I wrap my arms around him, holding him close. "But I do worry, Matt" I confess softly. "I care about you more than anything."
He buries his face deeper into my chest. "I love you so much.." He whispers, his voice muffled by the fabric of my shirt.
"I love you too.." I whisper back in his ear, squeezing him tightly.
୨୧
sorry this is so short 😭😭
tags: @muwapsturniolo
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successfulgoddess333 · 7 months ago
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MENTALLY JUST BE, PHYSICALLY JUST SLEEP
The 3D is a RESULT
If you assume something in the 4D(your mind) watch it unravel in your 3D
Why is this???
I’m gonna yell at you now
BECAUSE THE 3D IS CHANGEABLE AND IT IS SO BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT IT IS A RESULT
The 3D is a result of assumption
The assumptions you created yourself subconsciously
Manifesting a new job is the same as manifesting
A billionaire status
Stop doubting something that’s so easy
Whether you manifest through The void or whatever other methods it is sooo easy
Quit victimizing and babying yourself and get it the fuck done
Ain’t nobody gonna do it for ya
It’s your life baby you write it design it however the heck you want it to be
I’m not one of those bloggers to be be like “it’s ok pookie if you fail🥹”
NO BITCH YOU CANNOT FAIL
THE VOID IS LITERALLY YOU
YOUR GORGEOUS SELF IS THE REASON WHY IT EXISTS AND YOU OVERCOMPLICATING IT FOR WHAT???
Ignore the 3D
It’s physical
The jeans you’re wearing right now or that hoodie
Is physical
You can change it up for you want
The 3D is that
It’s those jeans that hoodie those socks
Change it
If you don’t wanna wear it
THEN DONT
If you feel like you deserve better
ASSUME BETTER
LOOK IN THAT MF MIRROR AND TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT BITCH NOBODY IS ABOVE YOU WE ALL FINE AS HELL
JEALOUSY FOR WHATTTTTT
BBY GIRL ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT BITCH
YOU TOO PRETTY TO BE SAD YOU KNOW ABOUT THE VOID CUZ THE UNIVERSE SHOWED YOU YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE
ACT LIKE IT GIRL!!!!!!
THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO STOP READING AND GO GET THAT DREAM LIFE
LIKE TF YOU STILL READING FOR
TAKE YOU FINE ASS TO THE VOID AND GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED
WITH YOUR CUTE SELF😏
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH
BUT STOP SAYING “hoW dO EnTEr tHE vOiD?”
👁️👄👁️
Bitch you just did
YOU ALWAYS DOOOOOO
Jesus peanut butter Christ
Cmon y’all
yOu HavE alWayS dONe tHis!!!!
Every time you go to bed
You’re detaching from the 3D(physical reality)
To be in the 4D reality
All you’re doing is becoming aware of it
Oh my god
How hard is that?!!!!
You’re killing me babes😔✋🏾
Please for the love of jell-o
Understand how easy this shizzz is
Bruh
You’re in the 3D void rn
I know that probably doesn’t exist but hear me out
You’re so attached to this reality right
Every day you are aware that you’re here living in this physical world as a physical being
This is like our 3D version of the void state
It’s not actually the void
But it’s like our state of awareness
Just in this 3D world
We’re aware that we are physical
So to shift your awareness to the 4D simply just
Be aware
Just like you’re aware now
“BUtt hoW dO sTaY aWAkE?”
Who said you gotta be sleepy??
Bitch you could do it rn if you really want to
It’s dumb to think you gotta be tired at to enter the void
NOOOOO
You literally are mentally awake
Your BODY is asleep
So why should you??
It’s different if you wanna tap into it WHILE asleep
Like waking up in it
But you don’t need to be dead tired to do it y’all
Listen bitch
You will never make it if you don’t claim your power and go get it
Stop wasting time stop assuming you fail or it’s hard
YOU DA POWERFUL ONE BABE
Sugar baby it’s all in your hands
You’re the God of your reality
Go make your life the way you want it
Quit spending hours trying to find methods to something to you naturally do every night with NO method
When you go to sleep
You are in the state of just being
You’re just sleep
When you’re awake you’re in the state of awakened awareness
You’re just awake and aware
Soooo in the void mix those two together in the void
Mentally Just BE
Physical Just sleep
Omg my new motto
The key to the void state is
“MENTALLY JUST BE
PHYSICALLY JUST SLEEP”
That’s it
That’s all
And If your favorite celebrities can manifest so can you
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idkwhatever580 · 5 months ago
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Breaking up with you
Masterlist
Pairings: Natasha romanoff x reader
Prompt: y/n is already having a bad day, what happens when she overhears Natasha and Clint’s conversation?
Warnings: angst but fluff at the end (don’t worry I am incapable of writing a sad ending 😭), swearing, breaking up, mentions of upcoming period, crying
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Y/n’s pov
I wake up feeling clingy today. I don’t even know why it’s just one of those days.
I whine when I realize there is sun seeping in through the windows and onto my face so I flip around to find Natasha but she isn’t there.
I pout and reach for her until I find the end of the bed but no natty
“Natty?”
I mumble still with my morning sleepy voice.
No answer
Of course. She’s probably training. But she usually waits for me to wake up or at least leaves a note
I never did check if she left a note. So I look at both of our bedside tables. Nothing. I check my phone. Nothing. I get up to go to the bathroom. Not even a sticky note on the mirror.
Tragic
Maybe she got called on a last minute mission. No. She’d have someone tell me if she couldn’t tell me herself.
So why isn’t she here? I just want to cuddle with my girlfriend and eat takis.
Ohhhh. I get it now. I’m gonna start my period soon. I always crave takis when I’m about to be on my period. Which is probably also why I’m feeling so clingy.
So I check the time and shrug thinking what’s the worst that can happen if I eat a bag of takis for breakfast?
I grab one of the throw blankets as I pass the living room to the kitchen and walk into the pantry.
I look at my section and find the line of takis that says ‘OFF LIMITS I’LL BITE YOU!’ On its label. And I grab a bag happily knowing that nobody has tried taking them.
Except for Peter. Poor kid. I was actively on my period and he didn’t know since he was new. Ended up with his aunt laughing next to me when he was showing her the bite marks on his arm. She told him that he should have read the label.
I agree. Always listen when someone says they’ll bite you. They probably mean it.
Anyways. I go to the living room and plop down and then I say
“Friday?”
“Yes miss y/l/n?”
“Where is everyone?”
It’s a bit muffled since I’m stuffing my face with takis but Friday is able to understand.
“They are all in a meeting right now”
I furrow my eyebrows and say
“Without me?”
“It seems to be that way yes”
I frown and get up going to the meeting room.
##################
Natasha’s pov
We are having a meeting without y/n and suddenly Friday speaks up
“Miss y/l/n is on her way to the meeting room now. I would advise you hurry.”
We all scramble to change the scenery to make it look like a normal meeting about an upcoming mission.
Y/n walks in and says
“What’s going on guys?”
Wanda invades my brain and says
“Ignore her. Do not say a thing. I’ll handle it”
I nod once. I don’t really need to ignore her, but it fuels the fire I guess.
Wanda speaks up finally
“Oh we’re just having a meeting about our next mission. We decided to let you sleep in since your skill set isn’t required for this one.”
She shrugs her shoulders and says
“Okay. Hi nat”
She smiles and waves before leaving and I don’t say a thing.
Once she’s gone and Friday says that she is not coming back we let our breaths out and tony says
“That was a close one”
##################
Y/n’s pov
I sit back down and start to overthink.
I usually am able to keep my thoughts at bay but today is just not my day. So I get lost in my head.
Why did nat not say anything? She always says something. Always makes an effort to get up and show me some affection. Maybe it’s an off day for her too. Sometimes she doesn’t like to be affectionate and maybe that’s why.
I break myself out of my head when some of the avengers come tumbling into the room.
Nat is not one of them so I say
“Where’d nat go?”
A bunch of them shrug but Wanda says
“I think she might have gone upstairs.”
I nod my head and say in a slightly more hushed tone just to Wanda
“Did she seem off?”
Wanda shakes her head and says
“No? Why?”
I say
“Oh”
And shrug my shoulders and pick myself up
“No reason. Just wondering. Thanks!”
So I head upstairs and find Natasha in our room. She’s sitting on the bed and reading a book.
“Hey baby! You didn’t leave a note telling me where you were”
I fake pout at her and she doesn’t do anything just mumbles a quick apology.
I try to get a conversation going.
“No it’s okay baby. I just got a little lonely for a sec.”
She ignores me but I can’t catch a signal so I keep trying.
“What are we doing today?”
She just ignores me again and I sigh and say
“I guess that book is real good. I’ll leave you to it. I think I left my takis in the living room anyways. So I’ll be down there probably on my phone if you need me. I love you”
She doesn’t even say I love you back to me.
Alright. Im a bit hurt by that one. But nevertheless I do what I said I would.
I finished my bag of takis a while ago and I’m falling asleep on this couch. It’s definitely not as comfortable as nats arms but she probably needs space. Maybe the meeting made her have a few flashbacks or something.
Whatever it is I’ll give her enough space to process it.
My thoughts are cut off when the sweet escape of sleep overtakes me.
I wake up about an hour later and find that someone had put a blanket over me while I was out. Thanks.
I get up and go to our room hoping nat is ready to talk now. But she’s not there when I get there so I go in search of her.
After a while I find her in Clint’s room but I don’t go in. They’re talking and for some reason I get the urge to eavesdrop. So I do.
“Well you have to say something. You can’t just be leading her on. It’ll hurt her worse.”
“I don’t know Clint”
“Nat. I think you should just tell her”
Wait. Are they talking about me?
“How am I even supposed to go about that? I mean. It’s gonna be so awkward! Not to mention it’ll break the poor girl’s heart”
“Well sometimes you have to do things that aren’t comfortable for you.”
“Okay so I have to go and tell this girl who is head over heels for me that I’m not?! I mean. It’s so obvious right?”
“It is pretty obvious that you don’t like her”
“Yeah well she’s clearly not catching any signs. She’s really naive and besides, I’m literally-”
Fuck this shit.
I walk back to our room to get away from it all.
I can’t even handle this right now. My own girlfriend isn’t in love with me anymore. Of course.
Just when I think she’s in it with me forever. She doesn’t even like me.
And I’m so stupid to not notice that she was feeling this way. I’m probably holding her back.
This is bullshit. Why today? Why me?
I sulk in my room for a while and then I realize that I should surprise her and break up with her first. It’ll make it easier anyways.
I huff and decide to finally get dressed. I probably shouldn’t break up with her in my stitch pajamas.
So I change into some decent clothes and make sure I look presentable. Then I once again go in search of my soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.
This time I find her in the living room. I stand tall and say
“Natasha”
She ignores me. Fucking bitch. At least get the balls to break up with me. I’m having to do it for you.
“Natalia”
I use her name and she looks at me. Her face is still but I know she’s listening.
“May I have a word with you? Alone”
I emphasize the alone part and she nods her head softly. We walk in silence to our room and I close the door behind me.
We stare at each other for a second when she breaks the silence
“You wanted to tell me something? Is everything alright?”
I cross my arms and say
“No everything is not alright. I just want to say a few things and then I’ll be on my way.”
She nods her head and quirks a brow. I know she notices my standoffish behavior.
“I’m breaking up with you”
I tell it to her blunt. And her face goes through so many emotions before she’s able to say
“What?!”
I look at her and say
“You heard me”
She shakes her head to break out of her thoughts and she says
“Yes I heard you but you can’t be serious right?”
I narrow my eyes at her and give her a nasty look and say
“What? Didn’t see it coming?”
She shakes her head and says
“Wha- wh- why?”
I roll my eyes and say
“You act like you didn’t want this in the first place. There’s a few things you should know. Im not naive. I’m not oblivious. And I’m not your girlfriend. Don’t worry. I made it easy for you now you don’t have to break my heart.”
She tears up and before she can make her case I walk out. I don’t want to hear it.
And I’m about to break down. So I quickly walk to Wanda’s room and storm in.
She stands up quickly and vision, who was sitting on the bed with her watching sitcoms, makes a speedy exit upon seeing my state.
“What’s wrong?”
I sniffle and try to hold back my tears and I say
“I broke up with Natasha”
“WHAT?!”
I start completely sobbing by now. Wanda picks me up and carries me into her bed and she comforts me until I can speak in full sentences again.
“Okay what happened? I thought she was your endgame”
I nod and say
“She was. Until I heard her talking to Clint earlier”
She furrows her eyebrows and says
“What did you hear?”
I tell her about the conversation I overheard and she squints analyzing my retelling.
“Is it okay if I call Clint in here? It sounds like you didn’t get the full story and I want to hear another side to it”
I shrug my shoulders and nod my head so Wanda texts him. After a few minutes he comes in with an angry face and a wet patch on his shoulder.
Great. Natasha’s already gotten to him.
“Why would you do that y/n?!”
Wanda cuts him off and says
“Hold on Clint. Before we get to that we need to hear something from you okay? So calm down”
Wanda explains to him what I’ve told and he sighs. Then he starts chuckling softly and then full on laughing and I frown and say
“What’s so funny!?”
He shakes his head and says
“Y/n. Natasha wasn’t talking to me about you. She was talking to me about Reese. The new intern. She’s been all over Natasha recently and cannot pick up any signs. If you had stayed a second later you would have heard Natasha say ‘and besides. I’m literally in love with y/n’ and none of this would have happened.”
I look down a little embarrassed.
“I guess sometimes I get a little bit angry. I didn’t even think.”
He nods his head and pats my shoulder and says
“I think you should go and fix this.”
I nod my head and go to his room where Natasha is.
I knock softly and say
“Nat?”
She jumps up and wipes her tears trying to seem strong and says
“Oh. What’s up. Did you need me to get my things?”
I shake my head and say
“I’m so sorry baby. I was eaves dropping on your conversation with Clint earlier and I missed some parts and thought you were talking about me! So I got angry and sad and then I was like ‘well if she’s thinking about doing it to me I’m gonna do it first’ because I was protecting myself from the inevitability of a heart break. I love you so much and I just was scared. I didn’t even think to ask you about it first and I’m sorry I was just being sensitive today and I had no idea! I am so sorry and I compl-”
Natasha cuts off my ramble with a kiss and I obviously kiss back.
We somehow end up half way making out until Clint says
“Hey! Not in my room you fucking horndogs!”
We pull away and giggle and Natasha grabs my hand and pulls me to our room and I say
“I’m sorry”
She shakes her head and says
“Y/n when you said that to me it made my heart split in two. I love you entirely too much to make the mistake of letting you go. I’m sure I would have come after you if it weren’t for my initial shock. I guess I just thought we were so endgame that the thoughts of a breakup would have never crossed my mind.”
I smile and say
“I’m sorry.”
Then all of a sudden I get nervous and play with my hands and look at the ground and she says
“What’s on your mind sweetheart?”
I bite my lip and say
“Since I um. Since I broke up with you like thirty minutes ago will you- um- will you be my girlfriend again?”
She laughs and says
“Yes of course baby”
I smile and say
“Sorry. It felt informal to not ask.”
She cups my face in her hands and says
“Next time let’s talk about it before we go breaking up with each other yes?”
I nod my head and say
“Sorry. I think I’m starting my period soon so I’m kind of having some fog brain.”
She nods her head in understanding and I say
“Now that we’re okay, can I have cuddles?”
She smiles and says
“Yes dorogoy. Of course we can.”
I smile and then say in a teasing tone
“This is actually your fault”
She scoffs as I cuddle next to her and plays along
“How is this my fault?!”
“You didn’t leave a note for me this morning.”
She rolls her eyes and says
“I am sorry baby. I was rushed out of bed and it slipped my mind. I guess it’s because I usually don’t have meetings without you so I forgot”
I nod my head and say
“You forgort”
I giggle a bit and she says
“You and your fricken vocal stims.”
I smile and say
“I think I’m pretty cool”
She smiles and says
“The coolest. Now let me cuddle my girlfriend in peace”
I smile and pull her super close to me. Then push her away as a joke and half way yell
“Leave room for Jesus!”
She rolls her eyes and says
“Come here.”
I get closer and say
“I love you”
She smiles and says
“I love you too”
##################
Taglist
@ilovesnat @ihartnat @marvelnatasha12346
A/N: sometimes I’ll use the most random things to separate my section 😭
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borathae · 4 months ago
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Tenderness
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"Jimin has a hard time accepting that people don't want to hurt him. Something about you makes him ease up however and because of it, he asks you to cut his hair. You help him gladly of course."
Pairing: Jimin x f.Reader
Genre: slight Angst, Fluff, Hurt and Comfort
Warnings: Jimin has trauma, he's scared but she makes him feel at ease, like please give this man a hug, innocent skinship, also they're just friends currently but idkkk there is so much tension between them, god i'm going insane actually
Wordcount: 2.6k
a/n: i'm actually so sad :( also listen. the hug was inspired by the way Jimin hugs :( i fucking want a Mimi Hug no JOKE </3
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You are in the back garden, pruning the roses when someone suddenly steals the sunlight from you. It had once warmed your skin. The air feels chilly in the shadows all of a sudden.
You stop working, lifting your eyes at the person.
Jimin. Dressed in a long arm shirt and flowy pants, he walked through the grass barefoot and with his long hair tied back. The fabric of his shirt is striped in black and white. He is hiding his eyes behind a pair of dark sunglasses. 
“You’re in my sun”, you tease.
“The sun doesn’t belong to you”, he throws backs sassily.
“I’d still prefer it if I had sunlight.”
“Too bad. I’m here now.”
You scoff in amusement, straightening up by rolling your shoulders. Such bickering is normal between you and him and amuses you these days.
“Do you wanna help me?” you offer him your second pair of pruning scissors, which he declines with a shake of his head.
“I have a, uh, favour to ask of you.”
You are working on the rose as you talk to him. He watches your movements with his eyes just slightly zoned out. 
“What’s up?” 
“Okay so, don’t laugh at me, but I talked to Tae and he said that you’re really good at cutting hair.”
“Yeah, I am. Nobody in this family wants to trust me, but I’m so good at cutting hair, like so good.”
He scoffs in amusement, reaching out to play with a rose leaf mindlessly.
“Sure you are.”
“Mh-hm, I am. Why did you ask him?”
“It’s just, I was wondering, uh, if maybe you want to do my hair.”
You stop working, studying him in surprise. You didn’t expect such a request.
“Your hair?” you make sure
Jimin nods his head. 
“Sure, uh, yeah I can. Just...why me?”
“Because you’re good, I already told you. And because Tae can’t cut hair. He thinks that he can, but he is shit at it. Don’t tell him I said that.”
“I’m not better than a professional though. Wouldn’t a stylist be better than me?”
“No, uhm.” He shies away, touching his own neck in soothing. “I’m not ready to, uhm. It’s hard for me to have strangers touch me. I, I don’t know them and, and I… uhm, they could hurt me. Uhm, it’s hard, I guess.”
“Oh”, you realise, “gosh Jimin, I’m sorry that you feel this way. I understand your feelings and I’ll gladly cut your hair.”
“Thank you”, he whispers, “see you later then. In my wing. Bye.” 
And with that, he flees, keeping his head low in embarrassment. You know that it wasn’t easy for him to share his feelings right now. He is a lot like Yoongi in that regard. Although Jimin is definitely that way because he was never truly allowed to feel. In more sense than one. Not only was he forced to keep his emotions off, he was also punished for any show of emotion which didn’t benefit his abusers. Sharing his feelings equalled being hurt to him in his past. So of course he fled the second he did it. You are still so proud of him for sharing his feelings. It means that he is healing. 
You finish garden work and take a quick shower. Knowing Jimin, he meant the evening hours when he said “later” so you don’t feel too stressed about going to him. 
After the shower, you have early dinner with Yoongi and Jungkook where you tell them that you will cut Jimin’s hair later and they show their expected surprise. When you tell them his reasons however, they react with empathy. They leave for a hunt after dinner, needing their own vampiric meals. You kiss each of them on their lips and wish them a good hunt, then you make your way upstairs to Jimin’s wing. 
He always keeps his doors locked because he feels safer this way, resulting in you having to ring his doorbell.
All of you have doorbells installed, which makes it a lot easier to visit each other. It was Taehyung’s idea and Yoongi had to be the one to install them. He did it gladly, gloating about how easy it was once it was done.
Jimin opens the door after the first ring. He is in different clothes and judging by the slight pearls of sweat on his forehead, he has been dancing. 
“Is it a good time?” you ask him.
“Yes. Come in.”
You step out of your house shoes once inside, while Jimin locks the door.
“Were you dancing?”
“Yes.”
“That’s nice. How’s the studio?”
“Good. I love the natural light in it.”
“It’s already dark though.”
“For you, yes. Not for me. The moonlight is better than sunlight”, he says and hurries past you, “wait in the living room. I need to shower.”
“Alright, will do.”
Jimin’s living room was once a guest bedroom. The one you stayed in during your first night at the estate to be more exact. Yes, That Night where Taehyung had actually planned on eating you before you, unknowingly, managed to change his mind. 
The room once smelled of oakwood and myrrh, but smells like orange blossoms and clean wood these days. The walls changed out of their outdated grey coat into a cherry red dress. White ceilings and a decorated voute seem to practically glow next to the red and the ivory curtains give even more lightness to the otherwise warm-coloured room. The furniture is antique, but in perfect condition and throughout the room, Jimin placed vases with fresh flowers. He isn’t afraid to show his sensitive side these days. It reflects in how delicate the decorations in his wing feel.
You lie down on his sofa. Its red pillows swaddle you, inviting you to close your eyes for a while. It is so comfortable here. 
You probably would have dozed off for a post-dinner nap if Jimin hadn’t woken you again. His steps are quiet normally, but the floorboards creaked under his weight as he walked to you.
You sit up, “I’m awake.”
“Sure”, Jimin says sarcastically, eyeing the deep dent you left in his throw pillow, “just so you know, that pillow is a hundred years old and the stitching is delicate.”
“Huh? Hm?” You look at the pillow, smoothing it out. “Sorry. Nothing happened, I swear.”
“Don’t sweat it. Can we start? I wanna get it over with”, he says and leaves the room again.
With a grieving heart – a nap sounded so good – you leave the comfortable couch to follow him. 
You find him in his bathroom, sitting by the powder table in only his towel. The silver scar on his back contrasts against his black tattoos. He is tracing the entrance point of the scar on his chest mindlessly, but lifts his eyes when he senses your presence. His hand lowers, the self-disgust disappearing from his eyes. He shifts in embarrassment, clearing his throat.
Knowing him, he wants you to ignore his scar. He can’t stand it when people mention it. It is already awful enough that he has to look at it each time he undresses. 
“Anything in particular you wanna get?” you ask him as you close in on him.
“Just shave it there and give it texture on top”, Jimin says, lifting up his hair to show you his neck.
“So undercut with some length on top?”
“Yeah. It’s hot and I need air.”
“Right? It’s so hot lately. This summer is insane”, you agree, picking up the shaver, “should we go with the setting you have on?” 
“Yes. But make sure the fade is good.”
“I will, don’t worry. Is it okay for me to touch you?” 
Jimin glances at you. Surprise and gratefulness. He can’t keep up eye contact, lowering his eyes at the table as he nods his head. 
With his consent, you touch his hair. You run your fingers through it, eyeing his hands. They ball to fists at the first contact, tightening with such strength that his knuckles pale. He is scared.
“Did you practice choreography?” you ask him in hopes of distracting him.
“No I.” He clears his tightened throat. “I guess I just danced.”
“That’s nice too. I’ll shave it to up there. Is that alright?”
Jimin inspects the point you show him and nods his head. You pick up the shaver and turn it on. Jimin moves his head away when you put it close to him, flinches and moves back again.
“Sorry”, he whispers, glancing at you in embarrassment.
“Don’t apologise. Did you change your mind?” 
“No.”
“Alright. Want a break?”
He shakes his head silently.
“Alright. Just tell me if you need it”, you say and put the shaver against his neck.
Jimin is tense during the first couple of shaves, but relaxes soon when his traumatized mind realizes that you genuinely don’t want him harm. He even opens his fists and begins playing with his bracelets mindlessly. Only around his ears, a certain stiffness returns to him and his eyes ghost over the shaver fearfully. 
So you give him a break, soothing him by tracing his ears softly. 
“Gotta clean you up”, you tell him even though both of you know that this was just an excuse to mask the gesture of comfort you give him. If you didn’t mask it, Jimin would get way too embarrassed however. 
He is tense at first. His eyes switch between your hands, your face and the shaver you put aside. 
You reach the spot right behind his ear where the harder point of his shell blends into the softness of his lobe. You rub it slowly. Jimin’s lids flutter, his head sways back just once before he fixes it again.
Another rub of the same spot and Jimin’s head rolls back again, lids closing halfway as goosebumps cover his skin. Yet another rub and he breathes so deeply that his chest lifts and sinks visibly, eyes closing for just a second before he forces them open again.
He straightens up, glancing at you in embarrassment. You act oblivious for his sake, giving his shoulders an innocent rub.
“There we go. Now you’re clean. I’ll continue.”
“Yeah. Okay”, he whispers, staring at you in the reflection of the mirror. He can’t truly make sense of the emotions in his chest and what they mean. He also can’t stop them and so he stares.
Jimin doesn’t flinch away anymore when the shaver touches him. You can finish the shaving without any more obstacles. He even stays calm when you shave him around his other ear. Only for a split second his neck tensed up, but relaxed within a breath because he felt safe more than he does troubled in your presence. 
You place the shaver on the table and use a fluffy brush to sweep away any stray hair. The sensation sends shivers down his spine. He tries to cover them up as best as possible.
“Do you like the fade?” 
“Yes. It’s, uhm, it’s what I wanted”, he speaks quietly, looking at himself with sparkling eyes. He doesn’t even notice that he is gazing, too mesmerised his new look has him. 
“Nice. That’s good to hear. I’ll just do the texturing and then you’re done.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
His words are honest, bringing a smile to your lips.
“Of course.” You pick up the scissors, showing them to him. “I’ll use these.”
You give him time to observe the potential danger. He nods his head in consent. You begin. He doesn’t tense because you gave him the opportunity to prepare. 
“Your hair is fun to work with. You’ve got so much of it.”
“Thanks. It’s hot during summer.”
“I can imagine. Should I take some length too?”
“Yes, please.”
You can finish the cut with no obstacles, moving on to the last step instantly. You clean him and then style him with a light mousse. He lets you with gratefulness in his eyes. Truly, he can’t stop looking at you. It is as if something about you has him captured. You don’t notice his eyes on you because you take your job as his hair stylist way too seriously and are blind to anything but his hair.
“There we go. Now you’re done. How do you like it?” you ask, finally meeting his eyes. For but a moment, your breath hitches. He never looked at you like this before. “Uh..”
Jimin clears his throat and shifts his eyes away. The air is charged between you and him, but neither tries to talk about it.
You take a step back. Jimin looks at himself for a while. His expression is stoic and if you didn’t know him better, you would think that he hates the haircut. In the end however, a small smile hushes over his lips and he nods his head.
“I like it.” 
You smile proudly.
“I’m happy to hear that.”
He shimmies on the chair awkwardly, touching his new undercut.
“You can, uhm, leave now if you want to.”
“How about we clean up and then show Tae your new style?” you suggest because you know he doesn’t actually want you to leave, but thinks that you already want to.
“Yes. Okay.” He turns away to hide the giddy smile. “Do you think we can get him to watch a movie with us?”
“I think that he’ll be the one to suggest it.”
Jimin laughs. You laugh with him.
“Yeah, that actually sounds like him”, he agrees. 
“I bet he wants to watch one of his boring French movies.”
“They’re not boring, you just have no taste.”
You laugh, “no I do. His movies are like five hours long. That’s way too long.” 
“Don’t tell him that.”
“Oh honey, I do. He knows and teases me for it.” 
You and Jimin share laughter. Your eyes meet. The tension in the air is almost suffocating.
His smile drops. 
You stop laughing, feeling tight in your chest for but a second, “what’s wrong?” 
Jimin stands up and turns to you so he can close the distance.
You instinctively take a step back, but Jimin still pulls you close.
He hugs you. 
“Oh?”
Jimin hugs as if he is overcome with adoration. Jimin hugs as if he needed the other for his survival. Jimin hugs as if he thanks the universe for the other’s presence. He doesn’t hug often, but when he does, it is spilling over with his honest adoration.
You didn’t expect it right now, but can’t deny that it melts you. He has one arm around your waist strongly and cradles the back of your head with his other hand, while his cheek rests on your shoulder with his face hidden in your neck. You can even see from the reflection in the mirror that he has his eyes closed. He hugs just like him. With his entire heart and soul. 
You hug him back with just as much tenderness, rubbing his back slowly. Goosebumps follow your touch. He melts into your embrace. 
“What’s that for?” you ask him quietly.
“Haircut.”
You chuckle, “do you like it that much?”
He nods his head and gives you a squeeze.
“Thank you”, he whispers. 
You know that he doesn’t only speak of the haircut. That he thanks you for giving him the space and time he needed to realise that the haircut won’t end in pain for him. You smile fondly, squeezing him back.
“Of course. You can always come to me for help.”
“I will.” He holds you so close and breathes your name. Nothing else follows. Just your name. Said with just as much heart and soul as his hug carries.
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bouncybongfairy · 8 months ago
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Stress Relief
Bakugou x Fem Reader
Summary: Aizawa offers you extra credit to tutor Bakugou for an upcoming test. Need I say more?
Word Count: 1.5k+
Ref Account: @kaionyx
TW: Rough Smut, Oral Female & Male Receiving, Facial.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Sitting in your room and dissociating never felt so good. It was finally the end of the week and you felt properly chewed up and spit out. Muscles were sore and brain was fried, all you wanted to do was sit in silence. Emptying out your backpack and organizing everything on to your desk. The stress you were under was slowly chipping away at you. Hearing a knock at the door made your eyes roll, the last thing you wanted was to interact with anyone. Wiping the scowl off your face, you go to greet the unwanted guest. The feelings of annoyance quickly turned into insecurity once you saw it was Aizawa and Bakugou. Trying to casually fix your appearance as he began speaking in his monotone voice. 
“Hello, sorry I didn’t mean to come to your dorm directly but this is a time sensitive matter. Bakugou needs a passing grade on this next test, I’m willing to bump your grade up 5% if you agree to help,” he explains, making Bakugou’s frown deepen. 
“Oh of course, we can start right now,” you said, practically beaming. Having your grade pushed up five percent was a God sent gift at this point in the semester. 
“Wonderful, Bakugou, please try to be open to the tutoring,” Aizawa said before walking away. 
You gestured for him to come in, made you feel nervous watching him take in the room. All your posters and collectables are now starting to feel a little dorky. Not really sure what to say, you just sat in silence as he took in your room. You were pretty soft spoken and he was anything but that. It often worried you seeing how dark he was. It was so apparent that his anger issues were coming from a deep wound from the past. When all your friends would gossip, they talked about him with such vascularity and objectification was quite sad. As much as you tried to discourage this, there were times you agreed. The intimidating look he always had written across his face. The way his pent up rage came out during combat training. 
It frustrated you knowing that he could overpower you. Any time you were paired to spar, he always managed to out maneuver you. Pinning you to the ground or wall. As much as it affected the confidence you had in your combat abilities, it made you feel warm and fuzzy. The last time the two of you were sparing, he grabbed your forearm so hard it left a bruise in the shape of his hand. You stared at it in the mirror for a while, confused why you liked it so much. Running your fingertips over the purple and brown blotches. Thinking about the way he looked into your eyes when throwing you to the ground. Walking away with no care or regard for you physically or mentally. It made you melt even though you’d never admit it. The two of you were sitting at your desk, helping him with his English assignment; he was getting frustrated and you were enjoying it a little too much.
“That just doesn’t make any fucking sense. The assignment was to summarize the fucking article. I don’t have to talk about my feelings about it, it’s not even specified!” he said, raising his voice. 
“I could understand you don’t want to give your opinion on it but the teacher isn’t going to accept it until you do. You’re being ridiculous,” you huffed the last part under your breath. 
“Excuse me?” he asked, folding his arms. 
“Nothing, i’m just saying the assignment-” you started but became interrupted. 
“No, go on. Explain why I’m ridiculous, I wanna hear you say it,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows and grinding his teeth. 
“You are ridiculous. Are you so ignorant that you don’t understand how lazy you are? You act like academics is optional and that you can rely solely on your combat. Nobody else will, so I'll be the first to tell you: Thinking physical prowess will get you where you wanna be is stupid and delusional,” you say, starting to pack his papers up. 
“If anyone is stupid and delusional it’s you, we both know the real reason you accepted this little study session,” he scoffs standing up. 
“What do you mean by that?” you ask, knowing exactly what he was implying. 
“Do you think I don’t notice you staring at me? Finding any opportunity to throw yourself at me. I can only imagine what runs through your head while you watch me. I have an idea by the way your cheeks flush and your pupils get wide. The way your body shakes when we spar. It’s stupid and delusional for you to think I'd ever want anything more than your body,” he said, now backing you against the wall.
You weren’t sure what to think, part of you felt like this was him showing his interest in you. Another part of you was worried he was just being cruel. Like he was stringing you along, trying to make you look desperate just to pull away.
“Interesting way to say you want my body, if you wanted me that bad you could just ask,” you patronize. 
“I wouldn’t have too,” he said, grabbing you by the throat and pushing you against the desk. 
You were now halfway sitting on the edge of the desk. Legs dangling off, separated by him grinding against you. Letting go of your hair, holding your face in his hands. The kiss was sloppy and wet, not being able to get enough of each other’s touch. You reached down and ran your hands up his back towards his shoulder. Lightly scratching down as he started kissing your neck. Nipping and sucking hickies on you, his heavy breathing giving your body goosebumps. Your hands begin to wander, fingers dipping into the back of his pants. Tracing all the way around, stopping when you felt his happy trail. He sits back on the office chair and stares you down. This makes you blush, sliding off  and onto your knees. Your body was slightly under the desk, he took your glasses off and set them down.. 
Genuinely being gentle, which made you feel more safe to be vulnerable and vulgar. Taking his tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around him. He moaned softly as he collected your hair in his hand. Using the other to stroke your cheek and face. Eventually you start bobbing your head up and down. Looking up and watching his reaction, he huffs and grunts that pour out of his mouth. His eyebrows furrowed together and sweat started to bead on his forehead. Feeling him get harder and harder as things started getting more sloppy. His hands were getting rougher, both of them now laced in your hair. Helping fuck your head down on his shaft faster. Cursing and moaning, starting to buck his hips. Making you gag around and spit around his cock. He pulls you by the hair off him with a loud pop sound. Grabbing himself to smack and rub his tip against your lips as he tips over the edge. Covering your mouth and chin with his cum. 
Expecting him to be done but being taken off guard when he grabs your jaw. Bringing you to his level and smashes his lips against yours. Moaning into the kiss, being taken completely by surprise from how brazen he was being. He pulls away, a mix of saliva and his cum dripping down both your mouths. Standing up, he grabs your waist and lifts you on the desk. Sitting back down and spreading your legs, using his fingers to massage your clit. Moving down and eventually pushing a finger inside you. Bringing his lips down and starting to eat you out. Flicking his tongue, moaning as he felt you tighten around his fingers. Increasing the speed of both his hands and mouth. Stroking himself off, seeing you in so much pleasure was making his cock feel touch starved. Reaching your hands down and pulling and yanking. His hair was sweaty and you could feel him breathing hard against your core. 
You tried holding back your orgasm as long as possible, wanting to enjoy the pleasure before becoming overly sensitive. He pushes a third finger which makes you fall  over the edge. Feeling the walls of your cunt spasm and tighten makes him cum for a second time. Standing from his chair, rubbing his tip against your clit while continuing to finger you. Making eye contact as his warm cum covers your lower stomach. Resting your foreheads together, trying to catch your breath. He almost dozed off but eventually realized it was getting late. You were passed out, not wanting to wake you up, he carries you to the bed. Grabbing a towel and wiping you down. He didn’t want to go through your clothes, so he slipped his tee-shirt over you. Walking out in his tanktop, Kirishima gave him a side eye as he left your room.
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sunflowerim · 6 months ago
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some lines from Solitaire that just hit too close to home
“Tori,” says Becky, “you look a little bit like you want to kill yourself.”
I deflate into a chair and nod philosophically. “It’s funny because it’s true.”
//
My name is Victoria Spring. I think you should know that I make up a lot of stuff in my head and then get sad about it. I like to sleep and I like to blog. I am going to die someday.
//
Sometimes I hate people. This is probably very bad for my mental health.
//
personally, thinking or talking too much about “boy issues” makes me want to shoot myself in the face.
//
I am a vacuum. I am void. I am nothing.
//
THE FIRST THING I do when I get home from school is collapse onto my bed and turn on my laptop. This happens every single day. If I’m not at school, you can guarantee that my laptop will be somewhere within a two-meter radius of my heart. My laptop is my soul mate.
//
(charlie to tori): “You like to act as if you care about nothing, and if you carry on like that, then you’re going to drown in the abyss you have imagined for yourself.”
//
I instantly wish I’d just shut up. I always do this thing where I accidentally say self-deprecating stuff that makes other people feel really awkward, especially when it’s true.
//
I really don’t do anything unless I actually want to do it. And most of the time I don’t want to do anything at all
//
One day I’m going to forget how to wake up.
//
Smoking is so pointless. The only reason I can think of for smoking is if you want to die. I don’t know. Maybe they all want to die.
//
When you watch a film, you’re sort of an outsider looking in. With a book—you’re right there. You are inside. You are the main character.
//
You think you’ve met bad people, and then you meet people who are worse.
//
I don’t want people to be worried about me. There’s nothing to worry about. I don’t want people to try and understand why I am the way I am, because I should be the first person to understand that. And I don’t understand yet. I don’t want people to interfere. I don’t want people in my head, picking out this and that, permanently picking up the broken pieces of me.
//
We’re so used to disaster that we accept it. We think we deserve it.
//
Did you have a bad day?”
“Yes. Always.”
//
Nobody is honest; nobody is real. You can’t trust anyone or anything. Emotions are humanity’s fatal disease. And we’re all dying.
//
I haven’t ever known what I wanted out of life. Until now. I sort of want to be dead.
Tori's pov really is something.
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teddypickrwritings · 5 months ago
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A Rare Moment of Weakness - Identity V x Reader
A/N: Some character lore is just so sad and depressing that I start tearing up…I just want to hug them. I’ll most likely do this with more characters in the future!
cw: PTSD
Mercenary
It was obvious just by looking at him that Naib Subedar was hardened by war. That was just the norm for anyone who served in the military. Naib was not one to talk about his experiences, though. Nobody questioned him, they just let him do what he wanted.
One day, while you were in a match with him, you saw his stoic mask crumble. You had managed to escape from the hunter with minor injuries and were hoping that you would cross paths with someone that could heal you. You had stumbled onto Naib’s cipher just as he missed a calibration and it shocked him—literally. The look of terror that flashed on his face gutted you pretty badly. It didn’t take a genius to realize that the sudden loud noise reminded him of bombs and such.
He wasn’t embarrassed that you saw him mess up. He didn’t shrug you off when you instinctively gave him a hug. In fact…he really appreciated it. A lot. Naib held you for a little longer than necessary, only letting go when he realized you were injured and immediately started to heal you.
“I’ll decode with you…or I can do it for you, if you’d like,” you offered once he was done.
Naib nodded slowly, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Thank you, (Y/N),” he mumbled.
Wu Chang
A sudden rainstorm had interrupted your walk and completely soaked you to the bone. Had you stayed outside longer, and if Xie had not come to your rescue, you would have certainly gotten sick. He had immediately left to find you the second the rain had turned heavy. You had begun to protest when he scooped you up in his arms, but quickly silenced yourself when you noticed just how worried he looked.
“(Y/N), I am so sorry. We shouldn’t have left you alone out there,” Xie said once you had changed into dry clothes. He had managed to calm down for the most part, but his voice was still laced with anxiety. “We didn’t know it would rain. I’ll never forgive myself if you get sick…”
“I’m okay!” you reassured with a tired smile. You reached over and gently squeezed his hand. “Thank you for getting me out of there before it got too bad.”
Xie gave a weak smile of his own, but his eyes still looked pained. He paused, seemingly listening to something. Then he nodded and his form changed to represent Fan. The Black Guard checked your vitals, and after confirming that they were normal, held your hands tightly. “He wanted to be able to save a loved one this time,” he explained. And that was all you needed to hear for you to understand.
Hermit
“Alva, do you ever feel frustrated?” you asked tentatively, watching the inventor writing notes in one of his many journals. His quill came to a slow stop as he pondered your question.
“It is natural for one to feel frustration,” Alva said vaguely. He turned in his chair to look at you with an unreadable expression. “Why do you ask?”
“I was just curious…you always seem so composed. I admire it,” you admitted.
Alva allowed a small smile on his face. “Nobody is ever what they seem, (Y/N). Keep that in mind,” he said, beckoning you over with a little wave of his hand. You stood up and went to him, surprised when he enveloped you in a hug. “I am sorry that I do not show emotions very often. I am…still getting used to the feeling by having someone I can trust.”
You could’ve sworn you felt him tremble a bit when he said that. But the moment was over too soon and he released you. “You have a match, yes? You shouldn’t be late,” he said and gave you a little push towards the door. You left with a smile on your face; Alva trusted you. That was all you could think about.
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homunculus-argument · 9 months ago
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Why are you Finns so miserable? From an outside perspective, as someone who lives in a country where our government has continuously failed us, your country seems to be nearly perfect. It seems like paradise.
I truly feel that most people living in my country would kill to live in one like yours. I would saw off my leg if it meant that I could have the guaranteed quality of life that you guys have.
So why are you guys so sad? Is it the cold? The lack of sunlight? I’m seriously at a loss here, because I feel like you guys really take your homeland for granted.
I have no idea. Being alive is simply an unpleasant obligation and a thankless duty that you owe to nobody in particular and gain nothing out of doing. I was literally born as an unpleasant obligation - my parents didn't like each other and they didn't like children, but they married each other and had two kids because that's what people are supposed to do. When we whined as kids about how we don't want to go to school, they'd just say "well I don't want to go to work, either, but unfortunately that's just what life is." Life consists of going places you don't want to go to do things you don't want to do.
My mother once told me that if I ever kill myself, she will go completely insane, just the way that my grandmother went insane when my aunt killed herself. I was like 15 at the time when she told me this, I had been three years old when the aforementioned aunt died. I had never known her, but I was raised with the understanding that the only reason to continue being alive is peer pressure. You don't get to die, you have to keep living because the people around you would be sad if you quit. It's a mutual hostage situation.
Back when the church had more power and death penatly was a thing, there were people who committed crimes that had a death penalty (or claimed to have committed them, depending on the crime) in order to get executed rather than simply commit suicide, because suicide was an unforgivable sin but if you were executed, you could still confess your sins before the final blow and die with hopes of going to heaven.
Finns aren't oblivious of how bad things are everywhere else, or how good we have it. That, too, is a source of misery. It's a whole country of "you have no reason to be sad, there are people out there with real problems" and being reminded that everything everywhere else is even more miserable than how we have it. That anyone else would be ready to kill or saw off their own leg to get to be here, and here we are squandering all this potential by sitting here like a miserable little piece of shit.
Frankly, I am baffled by the concept that there really are people who just genuinely, honestly, wholeheartedly want to live. Like as a preferrable option to having never been born at all. To me, finding happiness in life has always been a "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" sort of thing, finding silver linings out of the unfortunate matter that I happened to be born.
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heartfluttered · 3 months ago
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i love bg3, and i love being in the fandom but also. i have never felt more alone as someone who also happens to be chinese like.
i don’t like cazador. i don’t think the majority of bg3 fans do. but the fact that i’ve never seen the same amount of grace given to cazador that is given to gortash or even raphael, by fans or in the game, just fucking hurts.
consider gortash and cazador: both gortash and cazador have been hurt, and choose to perpetuate this cycle of hurt. gortash is widely crushed on and shipped with durge. in game, karlach (gortash’s victim, no less) expresses sympathy when she realises what was done to gortash. nothing remotely resembling this sympathy is given to cazador, regardless of in game or in fandom.
i’ve always gotten upset seeing people hate on cazador without allowing space for nuance, and haven’t been able to explain why until now—
characters like raphael and gortash can be loved, regardless of / including all the atrocities they commit. they’re pined after, and shipped, and loved. anytime someone likes cazador, on the other hand, fingers are pointed and everyone goes ‘but he’s an abuser!!’
and that’s just it: cazador is just ‘the abuser’. hatred towards the only memorable asian character never goes challenged or questioned, because he was quite literally written to be the most evil, most abusive character of all.
yes, he’s a terrible person, yes, he’s an abuser, yes, asian people can be abusive just like every other person on earth. it’s understandable why one would hate him, because he’s literally written to be, but the fact that he’s the only asian character i can name in bg3 just really fucking hurts.
fans who love raphael (me included) or gortash (me not included) are much more likely to be ‘excused’ or accepted, whereas any fans who even express an ounce of love for cazador immediately get shut down. why do you think this is. think about the implications of the only memorable asian in the game being the most abusive and most evil. (no, asian side characters and npcs with two lines of dialogue don’t count. no, the one asian face option for tav also doesn’t count)
again, i love bg3, and its changed my fucking life, but its just deeply upsetting to me that this character was written specifically to be hateable with no room for grace or remorse or empathy. nobody questions the blind, pure hatred for him. nobody questions why this hatred isn’t expressed quite as strongly for literally any other evil white character in the game.
i’m not asking for people who sympathize with / relate to astarion’s storyline to like cazador at all— that’s not the point of all this. i’m not telling you which characters to like or dislike. but racist beliefs / predispositions / inclinations do not magically become less racist when the character of color in question is written to be abusive, not to mention the fact that he’s the only asian character in bg3 that i can even name or remember.
growing up, i’ve always wanted to see myself in the fantasy stories that i loved. i’ve given up hoping that i will, but i’m really sad and disappointed that the one character who remotely looks like me in this game that i love with my whole heart is just evil. not nuanced, not tragic, not even a fucking person to most fans or even the creators, regardless of his canon backstory and his morally wrong similarities to other characters that are loved like gortash and raphael.
i love this game and this community so much, but i just feel so . i don’t know, stupid? LMAO maybe i’m just reading too much into it, but i just feel terribly alone in feeling this way
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zombyjuice · 10 months ago
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NOBODY BETTER THAN YOU! - eunseok.🍨🦷🐆🍦 t(>.<t)
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In which your boyfriend you recently just got back together with is coming over for the first time since.
bf!eunseok x fem loser!reader
toxic relationship, fluff, angst, smut! suggestions to the reader having depression (NOT ROMANIZING.) suggested cheating. etc..
so many things inspired/helped me make this so I’m just gonna . @melobin and @anquelic on insta and my playlist below took inspo from there too <33 lol!
“Eunseoks here…” one of your roommates sneered from the other side of the door you could almost feel the face they gave eachother. You hop up and rush to open your door with a wide smile on your face “Hey baby” your boyfriend, walking towards you, a hand in one pocket and a bag of Burger King in the other an extremely attractive smile on his face “hii” you practically melted pulling him into your room and hugging him tight.
“Please don’t fuck yet! Give it a week!”
“shut the fuck up!”
He chuckled kissing your forehead and pinching your sides, you loved it when he did that, made you feel so safe you could practically feel your heart melt watching his movements as he placed the bag on your table.
That feeling goes away in an instant as you watch him sigh as he moves some of your clutter to the side. This made your heart flutter with sadness and your brain go a bit fuzzy.
He understands you more than anybody really, he’s patient and he does seem to care for you, he understood all those months before you guys were ever official you’d disappear trying to decide if he’s the one and if you should give him the chance.
He understood the nights where you’d just sit in silence not wanting to be touched or talked to, and he understood the nights you guys would be talking like normal only for you to start crying out of nowhere, or the nights you’d scream and push him losing your temper only to end up in his arms letting him watch you crumble under him. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay I've got you, doing so well for daddy” “‘m not mad at you, okay pretty, it's okay”. He understood the nights when you were finally your silly self after spending a weekend alone.
He understood all your quirks and interests. Once he dragged you to one of his sets because he remembered someone working on it had a dog who understood multiple languages, remembering your rather odd fascination with it how. can they do that? And watching as you said sit to the dog in Spanish, French, and Japanese, complete shock and happiness painted on your face as you laughed and laughed, adoration painted on his.
So how is it that you caught him multiple times all over the girl, the same girl he had a pass with, rumor has it they were “casually” sleeping together before you ever entered the picture you know it was deeper than that. To him “it wasn’t that big of a deal and he was just being nice.” You had to constantly shift your morals just so you could be happy with him, he knew you hated it, he knew the disgust you felt with yourself every time you’d go back with him. But you loved him so it's alright.
You knew the irritation and anger that bubbled up inside of him when you'd ask “Are you unhappy in our relationship?” or “Am I annoying you? I'm sorry” but he loves you so he's got to deal with it, right?
And no matter how many times you believed he cheated he was stable, nothing in your life is stable but him. So maybe that’s why you feel you always go back to him. And only him. Because, to you, there's nobody better than him.
He turned to you already able to read your face “It's alright, today's our lazy Sunday isn't it? We'll clean a bit tomorrow but for now, cmere let's lie down”
The smile that was once on your face came back and you gladly took his hand as he led you to your bed and cozy. Watching some of your favorite horror movies and munching on Burger King you between his legs a hands squishing your thighs and head dropping down to your neck every now and then to suck a hickey at your favorite spots your hands would grab at his knees as you whimper and giggle. “quit it, they’re finally escaping”. He'd quietly pout and slightly rut his hips up against you visibly hard.
{2:49 am}
Your eyes meet your boyfriends and grab at his hand that's hitching up your inner thigh, yours visibly smaller “Should we play some-” he smashed his lips against yours, your first actual kiss of the night “fuck I know we said we wouldn't do anything, but shit you look so good, sound so good, need to fuck my babies in you, make you mine forever” he grabbed at your neck and slid it down to your arm, manhandling you under him.
You could only submit to him, knowing this would have happened by the end of the “night”.
“Can’t believe I spent so many Sundays without you, felt so wrong, I’ve missed you so much” he'd moan against your lips grabbing at your thighs and aggressively pushing them up as he grinds against you, whimpers slipping out of you “missed you so much more” you’d whisper mind going elsewhere remembering exactly why you spent so many night away from each other’s grasp.
“Let me fuck away all that nonsense,only have you think about this cock” as if he could read your mind “please”.
And just like that he’d do exactly what he said.
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captainremmington-13 · 8 months ago
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𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍
𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖔
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show!Luke Castellan x daughter of thanatos!reader
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the image above or any of Rick Riordan’s characters/world-building.
⚠️Warnings⚠️: mentions of death, crying, sadness, physical pain, and parental neglect
A/N: i deeply apologize, i felt i needed to set up more context and establish Luke and readers relationship more before getting to capture the flag, i PROMISE it’ll be in this next chapter or the one after that💕
“Castellan!” 
Sixteen-year-old Luke’s head snapped up abruptly to see his brother, Connor Stoll running towards him frantically. If Connor, who was usually lighthearted and cheerful, was panicked, something was really wrong. 
“What’s going on?” Luke stood up, abandoning the art project he was helping a younger camper with. “Is someone hurt?”
“I-I’m not sure. I just heard a girl screaming in the woods, and calling for your help.” 
Luke’s skin went cold. He knew exactly who was in trouble. 
The only child of Thanatos, his best friend.
Connor beckoned for Luke to follow him. The two sons of Hermes sprinted towards the woods, trying to conceal their fear. 
Luke’s heart pounded aggressively in his chest. He couldn’t bear to lose another loved one, it would destroy him.
Finally, Connor came to a halt and pointed into the trees. “She’s that way.” 
“Thank you,” Luke said breathlessly. Running through the woods and ignoring the stares of the nymphs, he strained to hear anything that could lead him to you.
Then, he heard a muffled sob coming from a nearby clearing. 
Cutting the stray branches aside with Backbiter, Luke practically flew through the trees until he spotted you, kneeling on the ground. 
He froze. You were weeping, holding your face in your hands. Your body trembled, but he couldn’t tell if it was from sadness or fear. You hardly ever cried, you were a mellow person for the most part and rarely had emotional outbursts, so seeing you like this worried him immensely.
But most shockingly, you had black wings protruding from your back.  
They didn’t look like bird wings. They had the shape of angel wings, but instead of feathers, they were made of black smoke that swirled gently and occasionally omitted wisps into the air.  
“W-Wh-“ Luke stammered, struggling to find words. “How?”
“I don’t know!” you cried, refusing to look at him. “They just…started appearing. It felt like someone was digging hot knives into my shoulder blades. I ran out here so that nobody would notice them, but then Connor found me.” 
Your best friend knelt down in front of you, gently uncovering your face by taking your hands in his gently. His hands were calloused and rough, thanks to years of rigorous training. But they were comforting nonetheless. 
“Are they still hurting?” he asked, instinctively checking your pulse by pressing your wrist carefully. 
“No…I’m just scared, Luke. I don’t understand what’s going on,” you said, feeling your intrusive thoughts spill out. “What if they don’t go away? What will everyone think of me?” 
Luke sighed. “If they don’t go away, it’ll just be another thing that makes you you. And it doesn’t define you, or take away from the person you already are. If other people can’t look past your new features, they’re fucking idiots who aren’t worth your attention anyways.” 
“But…I feel like a monster. And even worse, I look even more like my father. He has wings too, I’ve read enough about him to know that for sure. I don’t want anything to do with him, why did he make this happen to me?”
“I don’t know why it happened,” Luke said honestly. “We can talk to Chiron and see if he has any advice. He won’t judge you, you know that. And I promise you’ll always have me. I’ll be your friend, whether you have wings or not.”  
Wiping away your tears, you felt the painful feeling in your chest begin to subside. Knowing that he didn’t see you any differently despite this new development settled your nerves, at least a little. Sure, the other campers may see you as monstrous, as a terrifying mutation that needed to be avoided at all costs. All of the new friends you’d made over the past couple years may leave you, but you would survive.
At least you had Luke.
Your Luke.
________________________________________________
After calming down, Luke lead you to Chiron’s office in The Big House. Luckily, the rest of the campers were at lunch, and nobody saw your very noticeable new features.
Chiron wasn’t nearly as surprised as Luke had been concerning your wings. “I suspected that they would appear around this time,” he said. “Your father has passed down yet another one of his gifts to you.” 
You certainly didn’t seen the wings as a gift. They were a curse, yet another thing that made you appear monstrous compared to other demigods.
“So, are they just there forever now?” you asked, fighting down the bitterness in your voice.
Chiron thought for a moment. “Wish them to go away, and see what happens.”
You rolled your eyes. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” 
“Just try,” Chiron insisted. “Your willpower is more powerful than you know.” 
Relenting, you shut your eyes, focusing on your disdain for your wings. Desperation and frustration overtook your thoughts, and you felt your head begin to throb painfully.
Thankfully, the sound of Luke calling your name snapped you out of it. 
“They’re gone,” Chiron’s low voice declared. 
Sighing in relief, you opened your eyes and looked at the centaur standing before you.
“I advise you to spend time learning to control your new features,” he said. “You must discover the extent of the abilities they give you. Otherwise, they may pose a threat to your safety, as well as the well-being of the other campers.” 
You nodded, despite the feeling of dread creeping over you. “I will. But I may miss some camp activities for the next few days.” 
“That’s alright,” Chiron said. “I’ll let Mr. D know that you are caring for yourself, and need adequate time to do so.”
“I’ll accompany you,” Luke said immediately. You shook your head.
“You have responsibilities, Luke. Who else is going to run sparring classes for the younger campers? Who else is going to make sure the Hermes kids attend archery practice and don’t set a fire somewhere?”
“I’ll have Chris take over,” he said. “He can handle it.”  
“But-“
“I’m not changing my mind,” Luke said firmly. “I’m helping you, and that’s final.”
Gods, as much as it sometimes irritated you, you loved that he was so stubborn. 
________________________________________________
After a few days that felt like an eternity, you came to the realization that you’d gained more power than you initially predicted. 
You could fly. That was to be expected; what else would the wings be for?
You could turn invisible. You only discovered this because a howl coming from the depths of the woods startled you. When you looked down, you could no longer see your body. 
And finally, your senses had heightened considerably. You could tell when someone or something died, even if it was outside the borders of camp. Beforehand, you could only sense it if they were within close parameters. 
The change was scary, but exhilarating at the same time. You knew that once you got used to your new abilities, you’d be even more intimidating than you already were.
Luke had been a huge help. He accompanied you while you experimented with your powers in the woods, but respected your request for him to keep his distance. He would check in on you at every meal, and made sure you ate an adequate amount. At night before bed, he sat with you on your mattress in Cabin 11, listening to you ramble on and on about various frustrations. He understood your anger at your father better than anyone else. He shared the same resentment towards Hermes. 
When you’d tired yourself out, he would bid you goodnight, give you a sweet kiss on the forehead, and climb into his own bed. And within minutes, he was out cold. 
But you stayed awake, staring at the worn-down wooden ceiling of your Hermes’s cabin. 
The fear you’d felt when your wings had first appeared had faded considerably. You felt powerful, invincible almost. 
And with the best swordsman in three centuries at your side, there was nothing in the world for you to be afraid of.  
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taglist: @orionspaperwork, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @marvelescvpe, @lovingjasontoddmakemewanttocry, @louweasleymalfoy, @stars4birdie, @stargurl-battleship
Thank you for reading! Pls let me know what you think in the comments!!! Btw, the powers I gave the reader are based on Thanatos’s abilities according to Rick Riordan’s version of him.
Let me know in the comments if you want to be added to the taglist!
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multi-fandom-imagine · 1 year ago
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Hi! So at the end of Loki how he becomes part of the multiverse tree and everything resets. but what if the reader still remembers Loki so she goes to look for him and try to give him a happy ending.
It's so sad because Loki should have a happy ending and seeing what happens in the finale of the show I would like to see him not end up alone.🥺
A/n: I WILL GIVE LOKI HIS HAPPY ENDING, p.S…Wanda is also alive cause I said so. So yea obviously I changed a lotttt of things.
Side note: was gonna make Sylvie switch places for Loki’s but I didn’t want to be called stupid 😂. But if you want it as an alt end then I’ll write it.
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You didn’t understand, you couldn’t understand why people couldn’t remember him. Why? Mobius,Sylvie, not one of them remembered Loki.
You refused to believe this, he couldn’t be gone, you had to do something, you had to fix this. Ignoring Mobius calling out your name, you were determined to find him, you will save Loki and you had to go to the one person that would help, the one person that could help.
Wanda
Your heart hammered as you came upon the home, the same little house you had found for the woman, one reality where she can finally be happy. You just hoped she would remember her love. You hoped that what ever Loki had done hadn’t reset this life.
Taking a deep breath, you made your way to the door. Your hand knocking on the door though relief flooded your body when the woman said your name, her head tilted to the side.
“You remember me?! Oh thank god…Wanda I need your help?”
Wrinkling her nose Wanda stepped side letting you come into her home. “Why wouldn’t I remember….what’s wrong?”
Patting your lips you ran you nervously bit your lip as you started explain everything to your friend. “And now he’s stuck in the Loom and nobody remembers him but us and he’s alone and I can’t.” Shaking your head you grasped the edge of your shirt. “Please Wanda! You’re the only one that can help me.”
Wanda hated seeing you like this, you were one of the kindest people she knew. You were the only one that helped her, the believed in her. Glancing over her shoulder, she nodded her head as she grasped your hand gently. “Of course, let’s just find a place that’s not my front yard.”
Giving one last look at her family she tugged you to her car. While she knew what this would mean, she was grateful for your friendship.
Stepping through the portal, you glanced over your shoulder spotting the woman struggling to keep it open. “It’s okay Wanda you can let go.”
Tears sliding down her cheeks, Brooke gave you a weak smile. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, and thank you.” Turning away from the closing portal you took a deep breath taking a glance at your surroundings. Did he really subject himself to this? It felt so lonely here, so isolated.
You didn’t care if people will forget you, it didn’t matter because you would have Loki, he wouldn’t be alone anymore.
A smile formed on your lips as you spotted the man sitting on a thorn. The once heart broken look on his face was replaced with a look of disbelief, your name spilling from his lips.
“It’s can’t, this must be a cruel joke.” This bad to be some illusion, something is mind made up to push back the loneliness he felt.
Giving him a teasing smile you stepped forward kneeling down in front of him. Your hands grasping his gently. “I’m not very good at jokes but I can assure you that I am very real.”
Clutching your hand tightly he was afraid that if he let go than you’d just vanish. “You must go back you can’t-.”
Placing your hand on his cheek, you let your thumb glide across his skin. “Well, it’s a bit to late for that now.” You then pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips then smiled resting your head against his feeling Loki draw you in close. “So now you’re going to have to put up with me.”
“Thank you.” Loki whispered holding you tight, hr might be stuck protecting all the time lines but at least he wasn’t alone anymore.
At least he had you.
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atimesfeeler · 10 days ago
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I loved @twilightkitkat 's post SO MUCH I just had to add to it. It reminded me of a fic I'm working on rn.
I especially liked the part with Vanessa because I don’t think she just left him because of the reason Wade thinks. She didn’t just want him to be a superhero or whatever- in the flash back, she’s begging him to open up to her, to be present, to let her help him and I don’t thinks Wade could do it.
He felt like, incorrectly, that he couldn’t burden her with it. He has so much baggage and pain and issues, and he can’t corrupt her with that. He had cancer and instead of spending his last days with her, he left her. And when he survived he avoided her until she was literally kidnapped.
Everyone thinks Logan runs but really Wade does. He doesn’t want the people he loves to know he’s in pain. At his birthday party, he’s obviously miserable but everybody’s together! And smiling! So he’s going to be happy and pretend he’s just fine. But he’s not even very good at hiding it bc, like mentioned before, it’s a little bitter. His jokes don’t land or they come out passive aggressive and tense. But nobody calls him out for it except Logan. Logan who tells him in the meanest way that he’s a clown but that he’s sad, pathetic, and attention starved. He’s not buying the clown act.
And when Logan moves in, I love the idea that he starts noticing Wade when his mask falls or he gets too tired to pretend.
I’m writing a fic where Wade deals with chronic pain in less healthy ways and, of course, he tries to hide it. It's more brief and censored on tumblr bc I don't want to get my account terminated again, but it will be more detailed on ao3.
He dealt with it in other ways. The pain.
After all, a little bit of death couldn’t hurt, right?
Treating himself gently only sometimes worked. If he did everything right, if he did all the steps then maybe, maybe it would ease up. Sleep well, wake up at the right time, eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, draw a scalding bath, and take some hard hitting drugs.
Most days, Wade was much more impatient. Most days, Wade failed. It was too hard to take care of himself when waking up felt like dragging himself up from glacier water and pounding on the underside of the ice. Cooking was a nightmare he didn’t even want to consider tackling, and he was rarely patient enough to wait for the bath to fill or for sleep to take him as his body wracked with pain.
There were faster, easier, more instant ways of relieving the pain.
Any pain that didn’t stem from his own body was good.
With Vanessa, Wade had tried the healthy way. The three meals, ten hours of sleep, and taking his vitamins. The whole mile. There was this urge he constantly resisted that told him it would release the tension in his skull if he carved under his eye into his cheek where the migraine pulsed, like he was some sort of fucked up carpenter with voices in his head.
Vanessa didn’t understand it. If he was in pain, why would he want to be in more? She understood his masochistic tendencies in bed where they mixed pain and pleasure, but just pain? Just harm for the sake of being harmed? They got into a lot of fights about it.
He resisted the attempts. Hid them from her where he could. Sometimes he’d miscalculate, and she’d walk into the bathroom before he could heal and clean up his brain splattered on the bathroom tile. She hated it, and Wade hated that he was hurting her.
He reeled back any anger or snippy comments that stemmed from the sheer newness of having his body feel like it was dying all the time. It was so hard to interact when pain rippled through him like a feedback chamber. It made his fuse short and curt. His witty remarks turned snappish and bitchy. People asked stupid questions and made even stupider comments when he was having a Bad Pain Day, and everything felt a bit more raw and oozing. Wade didn’t have the energy to keep up the act and while his mind rarely stopped running, it shifted into something darker when pain was on his mind. His jokes fell flat, laced with a bitter ending. Sometimes, Wade didn’t even want to talk. He wanted to punch someone. Maybe even himself. And every time he snapped or said something he didn’t mean, he wanted to hurt himself even more.
Quickly, he grew exhausted putting on a brave face, and he had never been good at letting people help him. There was this awful clash of wanting to be comforted by the people he loved and hating that he needed comfort. It made him feel weak and pathetic, and Wade already hated so much about himself that he didn’t want anyone to see the twisted, fucked up parts of him. How ironic that he always had an audience anyway. He couldn’t hide it from you or whoever was watching him those days, but he could hide it from the people he loved. Shield them from it, almost.
On Bad Pain Days, Wade didn’t want anything to be different. He didn’t want to acknowledge the pain he dealt with, and seeing that pity on her face set his teeth on edge. It both hurt to be babied and, later, it hurt to be ignored when he stubbornly insisted he was fine.
Obviously, it didn’t work out.
It was better with Al.
Al tried to help. Once or twice. Her motherly instincts kicked in, maybe, Wade didn’t know. He shot himself once in front of her while they were watching the Bachelorette together, and she cursed him out and told him to stop and never do it again. Wade took his little attempts to the bathroom after that. He cleaned up after himself. He went out. Wade tended not to do the more dramatic methods that draw attention.
Wade had it down to a science. A decent chunk out of his frontal lobe sent Wade into a pleasant, almost subspace-like place. He would just… float and forget that his body hurt all that bad. It was good for Bad Brain DaysTM too when Wade’s thoughts were louder, faster than normal, and the voices stopped sounding like himself. When the fourth wall was a little too easy to see, and it got to him, being the doomed comic relief, when his head was trying to split his consciousness in two.
If his temporal lobe was nicked, then Wade would start hallucinating and hear a banger of a song while time, space, and movement sort of fucked up for a second. It felt like getting high, but he didn’t need an entire bag of cocaine and to hot box weed to get there.
If something happened to his parietal lobe, the pain wouldn’t know where to go. A bear could literally be eating his insides, but the pain signals couldn’t register if they had nowhere to go.
He did most of his questionable coping methods in the stereotypical bathroom spot. It was private, and Al got onto him for getting blood and bits all over the apartment. He once left his liver or his kidney in the kitchen sink, and Althea threatened to call the cops on him - her coke stash be damned. Now he’d drape himself in the empty tub, play music loudly, and expertly deal with the pain.
The system he had was fine. Regulated. It was working. It was fine. It wasn’t going to get any better.
Until Logan.
...
I haven't posted it on ao3 yet, but it will be apart of the series for my fic where Wade cries in the Honda instead of fighting.
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