#i feel like its 2018 again
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Guys. There's too many tadc au's. I can't keep up. And there all so good. And the plots are movie-worthy. Someone make a spreadsheet like we did for the sans au's. Before I go Insane, preferably. Thank you.
#i feel like its 2018 again#like what#how many more times are we gonna do this.#am i allowed to call this the undertale effect#tadc#the amazing digital circus#this is what i do with my time#may satan help me becase god wont
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I don't feel pain I never escape I'm under the bed I'm licking the floor
#mysmes#mystic messenger#mysme#mysme unknown#mysme saeran#saeran choi#mine#*24#art#unknown#this song is literally called weakling. sooo saeran coded.#half of this was just me trying to get the skin indents from gripping his bicep right. and its still not that good but i tried#whatever i miss this cunt.this fucker was everything to me in 2016-2018 you dont understand. teenage me 🫂 saeran#dont talk to me abt his route i have many conlicting feelings abt it. but i will say his overall portrayal was better in v's route than his#except near the end but even the conclusion to that was like. hm. he just wakes up and is fine. ok.#also why the split personality. bpd saeran was amazing that was even his VA's hc for him in SE. ok i said i wasnt gonna talk abt it IM NOT#... i just think they made him a less interesting ch in his route by splitting him up to a 'good'/'bad' side. like ray WAS manipulative#he's complex! he has a skewed world view + morals and a fucked up sense of self and major black and white thinking#ohh my god im not doing this again im not writing a dissertion in tumblr tags again. its an otome game with a nonsensical timeline
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got asked to draw two of my old wc rp ocs :-) left is cicadahop, right is scallopstar
#my art#wc oc#squints. its been a dogs age since ive posted anything wc oc related#oc#BUT YA!!!! these guys are old. i think i made cicadahop 2018-2019 but i could be wrong/i have no way of checking haha#and scallopstar was made 2020.? i think? both are vaaastly different#if i were to play them today i think id keep a lot of things the same for cicada. shes just a silly girl who wants to make friends and#and be kind. as for scallopstar. i think id change a lot#one reason: ive gotten a lot better (I HOPE) with storytelling now that ive been playing dnd for a well over a year#and since i also run two different campaigns. two: i have more experience writing a character with an arc that turns them into a villain#three: i was really going through it at the time so. erm. LMFAO plus i was like 16 so ANDKJFGNJDFHBGJH#but yeah!!! kinda crazy looking at my old art and seeing how much ive improved#also a weird feeling to draw them again but not a Bad weird feeling. been doing a lot of reminiscing#thank god we can copy/paste tags bc if i had to rewrite this all id be so sad HAHA#the crop was weird so i wanted to fix it before it was too late lol#since these 2 are ocs im not gonna indicate this was a request the same way i will with the other requests lol
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hm.... exploring jake as nonbinary/agender who very much performs the act of masculinity because that is what is expected of him and coming to terms that he doesn't have to be, maybe he doesn't have to force himself into that mould
#lohst.txt#bmc#be more chill#jake dillinger#something something masculinity is a chore and its so hard to perform all the time#something something what is expected of him vs what he wants#something something everything he does is a performance he doesn't know where he ends and his persona begins#hi hey anyway i was reminded how much i liked that concept while going through old posts from like 2017/2018 on this blog#art and posts about jake being non binary or agender#also lowkey inspired by me being more comfortable expressing/performing femininity after coming to terms with being non binary#something about it being a choice to present that way rather than feeling forced#i dunno how to explain it#its weird#its lowkey projecting onto fictional characters again#there's probably a better way for me to actually articulate what i mean#with jake being. like. the definition of masculinity#the goal of what jeremy and rich's squips want them to aspire to be like. yknow?#but everything he does is what he feels like everyone expects him to do#he's supposed to be perfect#but what he's supposed to be does not align with what he wants#anyway. this has been another edition of lara's late night rambles
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As someone who knows nothing about Oberon but loves your art: where do I start if I want to understand your love for the man?
oh man. oh jeez ( wheezing ) haha okay. uhm. erhm. i didnt expect to get this far uhm ( shaking )
so here's the problem: oberon is from lostbelt 6, a chapter in hit gacha game fate/grand order. you can play f/go if you want and chug along to lb6 - which is unfortunately a chapter 6~ years into the game's main story. but i cannot with any sort of conscious recommend a gacha game to people.
so playing the game is one option. option two is checking out atlas academy database, a website that has all of fgo's stories and such conveniently catalogued! click 'main story' on the top of the page and it'll give you just, well, the main story.
if you want to watch the stories themselves - which at least for lostbelt 6 i highly recommend because the OST is amazing - there's also this commentary free LP on youtube that i've linked to people!
that being said that is still a lot of words to get to lostbelt 6, so- if you don't want to read everything pre-lostbelt 6, i recommend going to the typemoon wiki and reading the summary on each story pre lostbelt 6 ( so, up to lostbelt 5.5 ). just click on the link in each chart and you can find a detailed beat-by-beat summary of each chapter.
i've been told that, in all honesty, that lostbelt 6 is still enjoyable and easy to understand without full context for the outside story beats. it certainly reads like a fairly self-contained story outside a few things needed to understand why some characters are here in the first place, so i've been considering writing up a summary on just those key points / the premise to the lostbelts so that people can read that and then jump right into lostbelt 6 and love oberon...
hopefully this was helpful in any sense of the word heehe ... if you need clarification with anything feel free to send another ask !!!
lets all love oberon!!! lets all think about oberon!!!!!!
#moka rambles#historically accurate king arthur: the game#oberon! oberon!! i love oberon!!!!#^_^#sorry i feel like im rather bad with helping explain how to get into a series because i so rarely consume new content#i just kind of stick my foot into one thing and live with it ( has been into fgo since 2018 )#again lostbelt 6 is apparently just fine to understand without much other context so i gave a bunch of backlog reading but its probably not#all that necessary ^_^;;#if anyone has better tips on how to get into reading lostbelt 6#or how to get into loving oberon...#feel free to add....#edit: also ill note that while i say i dont recommend fgo Morally#immorally im one of the few people who actually really likes fgos gameplay*#*asterisk being that i dont think its good gameplay for a gacha game which requires something very flexible and its just not very flexible#but anyhow. my point being is that if you do decide to play fgo#i do think you can and will get genuine enjoyment out of it#its just a Lot to get through but its so worth it. shakes your shoulders#believe me#edit 2: ALSO THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY ART HAHAHA#thats very flattering ^_^#sorry i got so blinded by sharing my love for oberon i completely missed that i was complimented. thank you heehe
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i always say im able-bodied bc i feel like it best describes my General Lived Experience but i do have that like. thing in my legs where if i walk briskly for some distance (like 500 meters) i get this crushing pain in my whole lower legs which gets worse and worse if i keep walking until i eventually have to sit down for a few minutes and wait for it to go away. which im still trying to get diagnosed bc so far artery scans and muscle ultrasounds render nothing. and ngl it is like, an issue often enough and is a pretty bothersome thing when it happens (like not only bc its extremely painful but also having to find some place to sit down in the middle of the street and having to stay there a while isnt awesome) so im not entirely sure "able-bodied" fully describes me but i also am not sure its a disability bc we dont know wtf it is. so i guess im kind of in a weird inbetween where i err on the side of just assuming its not a disability and its just like, an annoying body thing..
#97#i guess if it happened every single day or something i would probably feel more confident identifying it as like....#idk some type of disability or at least something worth integrating into my definition of my general health#and ensuing relationship to my body to the medical system etc etc#but bc it only happens when i walk briskly for a bit and i dont even go out for a walk every day it doesnt feel worth mentioning#anyway ive had this since 2019 or 2018 lol but the first round of attempted diagnosing i gave up early#and for a few years i just ignored it which is easier when i dont get out a lot anyway#but im currently in the process of attempting to figure out what it is again..#by september ill know if its compartment syndrome which has been brought up but is apparently unlikely#thats the last exam were doing so. if its not that then ngl idk what the next options are#bc this was everything my doctor could think of to explain it#another thing abt it not being diagnosed and not clearly being a disability is i dont dare ask for a seat in public when i need one lol#which has been an issue a few times where every seat is taken but i REALLY need to sit to stop the pain#if i could say 'excuse me i have (x thing) i really need a seat' id maybe dare to ask#but i dont manage to just be like 'hey could i get a seat my legs hurt' lol
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ngl ive been thinking abt moving back here and being primarily active here again. the bot followers on twitter are starting to piss me off real bad
#ill still be using twitter ofc its kinda hard to stop using it when its so easy to get news on there rly quickly#but otherwise im thinking abt mainly posting here again... i havent been going on twitter that much lately anyway..........#its just funny how i moved to twitter in like 2018 bc i thought it was nicer to post on and then some rich douchebag took over#now the site is just a huge piece of shit like he is#i know its not much better here but at least i dont have to deal with bots 🙄#whatever. ill fink abt it#i dont have much to post anyway ive been spending most of my free time playing video games. and by video games i mean honkai star rail#if i feel like it ill talk abt my sillies here i suppose. maybe ask me abt things. idk#ask me abt gallagher ill write an essay for you#allyrambles
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there's nothing that will ever stop me from watching doctor who but jesus christ they're trying to make me.
#ughhhhhhhhhh#like on one hand i *get* the disney deal because theres a decent amount of proof of how the bbc shorted chibnall's era#and unfortunately streaming isnt going away but is getting worse#was hoping it was just going to be similar to previous amazon/hbo deals and just deal with international distribution but yeah#first it was that you cant purchase online copies. then it was region controlled dvd purchases. now its ~early streaming premieres~#fuck this!!!!!!!!#ill always be a fan but i havent been unconditionally enthusiastic about any dw stuff since 2018#and it just makes me sad any time i think about it#i need to start reading the edas again to feel alive#dw negativity
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Devastating that you had ten peaceful years to get into Jean and Jeremy but you only became interested in them when your headcanons got an expiration date... Like yeah Ill always keep smoker Jeremy in my heart no matter what Big Canon tries to sell me but it is a lowkey hilarious turn of events for you. Here you dropped this *hands you a cardboard L*
BAHAHA (takes the L) thank you............................... to be honest ive always liked jean and i never really cared for jeremy beyond his friendship with kevin and those opinions haven't changed so much as they have evolved. i still don't think much of jeremy beyond that he's funny and a good man, and i'm glad he's a good captain for jean, but there's not much investment here. perhaps the new book might make him more worthwhile to think upon, but truly there's very little about jeremy that makes him interesting or engaging to me beyond the amusement of his dynamics with jean and kevin. i daresay that as a protagonist for tsc he'll be the weaker end
BUT YEAH IT'S TRAGIC. it's all very tragic. i'm not looking forward to ten years of fanwork getting disproved or rendered useless, and to me, that's the most awkward part about the timing of tsc's release. i don't think there's anything anyone could do about this, or if there was any way nora sakavic could've timed it better, but i guess it's just still a little sad to think about. personally i'm not excited for the influx of post-tsc release content that suffocates the fan content made in the past ten years
#everyone can do whatever they want forever of course but you know what i mean? its a little sad#i feel like if we got tsc in 2018 or 2019 it wouldve been. not ideal but not as awkward#i dont know really fandom is not a recent phenomenum but it's still new enough that we've never dealt with things like this#in the publishing industry#if tsc is perfectly in line with all of the fandom's hcs it will feel pointless#if it isn't it'll feel like a study case in disproving the general consensus#i guess my point is just that it's delicate. it's all very delicate when it comes to stories like aftg#and i'm sure nora sakavic is more than aware of this#which again brings me to the point that if the writer has to conform the fandoms hcs to avoid harrassment or mass rejection#and it is in her best interest to do this because writing is after all her breadwinner#then what is the point of the book? and how can it be respected as an original piece of work?#anyway i dont know really. i dont know. hopefully my concerns are unfounded#lost my train of thought theres a cute fuzzy little bee buzzing around me#asks#jeremy#jean#tsc
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It feels illegal to change sometimes but if you are from my old Cas times, i go by North now! @hand-painted-5tars -> @iguanasplit
#feels a bit nostalgic bcs ive had this username since like early 2018#but then again i lost rtack of tumblr by then#i will not promise i will be here often#since tbh its a lot of hassle to manage even one social media#lets not get started trying to tackle 3#and ive never been too social
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i dont think im capable of being as enthralled with anything else in the world as i am with idkhow. i think this is just who i am now. forever
#im serious#yeah ive had side interests. but every single time its a b-plot to idkhow or i lose interest and return all my energy back to idkhow again#i genuinely dont think im like. capable of caring about anything half as much.#they have had me in the most ridiculous chokehold for the last 2 years and without idkhow i feel half of me is gone#NOT A SINGLE interest of mine has been like THIS. i was hyperfixated on markiplier for like 4 years but it wasnt like THIS#fun fact actually i listened to his song ‘i dont wanna be free’ 400 times. it came out in 2018 and i stopped listening in 2021😭#BUT GUESS WHAT. IVE HEARD DO IT ALL THE TIME ALMOST 500 TIMES JUST THIS YEAR ALONE#😭😭😭😭#chase said something alright#idkhow#i struggle with having more than 1 interest at a time and this one will NOT go away so i think. its just written itself into my soul.
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I'm literally so sick of moving I really hope that I can just stay with my parents for at least two years
#for context .#i moved out for college in 2019. then moved back in again in 2020 when the pandemic happened.#then my whole family moved in the summer of 2020 because pandemic claustrophobia was making us go insane#and then i stayed there for. a year? i think#and moved back out - again for college/moving in with my partner - in... 2021?#and then the place i moved into that time raised the rent after a year#so we moved. again. after Just One Year.#and we moved into a place we didnt really like and would eventually come to actively despise#but we didnt want to move 3 years in a row so we just gritted our teeth and tried to make the best of it#but now we're sick of it and our mental/physical health is suffering and so were our pets so . god. we're moving again. yay.#i feel like i did this Yesterday even tho its about the 2nd anniversary now#and probably in all of that time in all of those places the place j felt most alive and healthy was my parents house fjdjfnfnemdb#for further context the last time i had moved before 2020. was when i was like two years old.#i lived in the same house for like 20ish years and then ive been through like. 4 places in... 5 years?#and i thought i was done going through shit in like 2018 lmao
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Being able to see senior exile interacting with jr exile (and neo exile) in real time feels So Special. This is for the exile fam inside of me who has only known them too little too late and never got to experience them together with everyone
Ohhh I'm so blessed 😭🙏🙏🙏
#banantxt#exile txt#i feel like im setting my expectations too high for something we dont even know yet#but I'll let myself have this!!!!#this is for the exile fam bananey who only knew exile in their ~2018 days..!!!!!!!#who's first ever exile concert live was the one with keiji's graduation..!!!!!!#and never saw them live together ever again !!!!!!!!!#eventho its only takahiro it feels like. its enough. takahiro is exile.#(i dont mean this in a negative way to other exile members btw pls spare me)#also i know exile second livestream their recent concert and they're literally also Exile#but I am too weak for exile second's concerts so..........
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im not gonna catch back up w my hero until it's finished but the shit im hearing...
#remembering when i started reading the manga in 2018 and was having a good time...liked it...considered myself a genuine fan...not anymore#those days have been over for a good while now...and idk how to really feel about it!#like i wanna do a reread at some point once its all over so i can see it all again with the things i know now but...man......#anyway#macadamia#i guess :V
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I thought doing this meme would help me draw and that visually seeing how my style changed would make me feel good.
#my oc#rune#utau#out of these my favorite is 2013. i dont know the other years#i missed this monday because I haven’t been feeling well at all lately#and i dont know when im gonna feel better#i spent way too much time on this. i redrew 2018 3 times and i hate all 3 of them i hated 2018#2023 is weird because my art style is always changing#i started using procreate this year. it fucks up all the colors because of color conversion#so everything is often more dull#thats not why 2023 is weird tho i just have a hard time staying consistent#its consistent enough that i know i drew it but inconsistent in that if i drew it again it would look different#i made. collages for all four of these to get a feel for what characteristics to draw#2013 is a complete mess theres like 3 different styles happening and thats not even all of the#2016 is the most consistent. 2018 is. ehhhh.#if you wanted to see 2023 you can just scroll through the last few posts here
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i had a great day a comic con today!
highlights include meeting emelie de raven
annnnd getting my first tattoo!
#it's the x-men logo on my left bicep#i hadnt planned this at all - i didnt know you could get tats at cons#but i saw it. and liked the look of it. and something just clicked in my head. didn't get it right away tho i met emelie first#so i had all the time in the world. and while the photo with her was being processed - i got the tattoo#it turned out perfect. not gonna show it off because its been bleeding quite a bit and doesn't look so nice now#but when its all healed up and cleaned up i'll get some pics#but yeah. holy shit i have a tattoo. i drink alcohol and got modification on a whim? oh yes. im a wild girl now kjhfdskjh#anyways. its my first convention since 2018. and my first one without mum of course#i found out about it a week beforehand and it just felt right. which feels like a step in a good direction for me#i made the day of it. and spent the birthday money mum gave back in september. and then some!#nothing at comic con is cheap so i was like. fuck it go ham#i got lotsa merch. i think my favourite purchase (other than stuff with emelie and the tat) is a silver star trek ring i got <3#i like merch with staying power. like clothes and jewellery#oh oh speaking of which i wore my star trek voyager comm badge brooch today. i'd never worn it before so that was nice#one day im gonna get myself a voyager trek uniform to go with my badge and my pips. and i'll wear that to a con#i've gone to several cons but i've only cosplayed once! ...it can be tricky to get organised. but i'll do it again someday#so yeah great day! my feet are fucking killing me! but im so happy!
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