#i feel like i shouldn't lol

[elibean]

guide to find the Spicy shiguang fanart

i need y'all to know this is a huge character development moment for me (a couple years back i would be so scandalized to be even talking about this lmao)

anywho. couplea people were talking about how there's not a lot of uhh...raunchier shiguang fanart out there. as a consumer of All The Shiguang Content I Can Get My Grubby Little Hands On, I am here to inform you that uh. yeah it sure is out there. there's not like a TON of it, but that's because the fandom overall is small. it's largely in the Chinese, Japanese, and Korean side of things-- haven't seen a lot of western fans making it actually. It's largely on Twitter, but even then, you're not gonna find anything explicit over there, people tend to link the explicit stuff on their twitter to another website. something like poppiku? I forget what it's called.

Without further ado...

option 1: tag name! on twitter you can search for the tag name specifically and comb through art that way. your options are shiguang (though this is largely limited to just the English-speaking side of things, I feel), 光时 (think this is the Chinese shipname), 程光 (uuuh I think this is the Japanese side? not 100% actually lol), ヒカトキ, and トキヒカ. Those last two are from the Japanese side of things, and fair warning, it seems that in Japanese fandom, the order of the names actually denotes the top/bottom dynamic (so there's Hikatoki and Tokihika; in the Hikatoki, Hikaru is top (Lu Guang) and in TokiHika Toki is top (Cheng Xiaoshi). In western fandom we don't seem to put as much of an emphasis on this, though I'm no expert. It's not a hard-and-fast rule though I feel like, I've definitely seen art under both tags where it doesn't seem so important, and at least one that was tagged with one of those shipnames but was explicit about them switching, iirc. Either way, using ANY of these tags up there you're not going to find any explicit art-- if you DO, it'll be a censored preview, and then through the tweet there'll be a link to another website. A lot of times they have you enter a "password" which is just you typing "yes" in the field (because it wants to know if you're over 18). Though they can change up the password thing-- I had one ask the combined weights/heights (I forget) of LG and CXS lol.

option 2: find a fanartist you like on twitter and just scroll through their "media" page (so it's only showing you pictures they've posted. This does include things besides just fanart, and ofc it can include art from other fandoms, but). I've been doing this a lot lately. Just scrolling through my recents, here's some fanartists I like:

https://twitter.com/KBUCKN_kb/media

https://twitter.com/n0rn0a/media

https://twitter.com/waeyawasan/media

https://twitter.com/icn_e/media

option 3: pixiv! this is the Japanese side of things. again, nothing explicit will be here, but you can find lots of good stuff and lots of smooching. everything will likely be in Japanese though (if you see something you DESPERATLEY need a translation for, feel free to send it my way lol. good practice for me)

EDIT: credit to @canonicallyautistic for this bit of advice: for the Japanese on-screen text, you could use an optical text recognition plugin so you can machine translate doujin quickly (they use Capture2Text for Japanese, but don't know which good ones are out there for Chinese). Thank you!

--

Ok I think that's everything! I'll edit this if I think of anything else. Hooray!

[uncanny-tranny]

This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?

At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.

I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[scalllions]

office romance 👔

[petr1kov]

here's the scene i've mentioned before where nemesis and melinoë talk about hypnos, for those who wanted to see it!

[seefasterdraws]

from the homumiko mines

[forlouren]

Not to be the first soldier on the frontless of the woobification of Qimir (he is a villain, we know this, and I love him for it), but the lack of nuance, or rather the one-dimensional angle people who don't like his relationship with Osha have taken with him, irks me so bad. I get it. He is Sith, right. Treachery is their way; and what are the darksiders, if not self-serving?

But I feel like the specific phrasing of "the Jedi like you would call me Sith" implies so much about his own unique characterization, and I don't understand why we are glossing over it. It's not a self-identifier. It shows it isn't as much as a title he'd give himself, but a badge he'll wear since in the black/white viewpoint of the Jedi, he is not allowed to be anything more or less. His almost catty, "semantics" hammers in this fact for me, personally.

He strikes me as one who takes what he wants of the Sith code, and disregards the rest. I don't think it's a mistake that even after his reveal, we don't see him with the signature dark side eyes.

I say all this to say; Qimir's ultimate goal is not power, it is FREEDOM. *That* is what he is driven by. He craves to live outside the confines he deems as constrictive/oppressive, and have by his side, someone who wants the same.

So even while disregarding Leslye's interview; I honestly don't know how with what we've been shown in the show so far, aside from him being a sith, makes people think otherwise.

[scificrows]

Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.

Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):

In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.

It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]

The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]

Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]

In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]

In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]

Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.

[lunarin64art]

That feeling when he can't stand to see you that way, no matter what you do, no matter what you say😩😭💔

[clown-friend-gt]

My g/t hot take that no one asked for:

Anything above 30 feet is not a mini giant. Sure, in comparison to other giants in fiction, that's not that big, but think about encountering, say, a 40 ft giant in real life. That is huge. You are the size of, like, a barbie doll to them. That is not mini.

Also, in my opinion, the fun part about minigiants is the unique size dynamic. They can fit in your house, but will still be too big for it to feel normal. They can't carry you in one hand, but they can carry you around like a stuffed animal. Encountering one isn't as inherently dangerous as encountering a regular giant would be, but they still have the potential to be scary if they aren't careful (or if they're trying to be). The dynamic is a little different with minigiants, and a lot of that nuance begins to fade above 30 feet.

Again, this is just my opinion, but it comes from my experience of writing different size dynamics. I think a lot of people tend to classify minigiants based on how big they are in comparison to other giants, when we should be looking at how big they are in comparison to a human, which is where all the fun dynamics come in to play.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[snowangeldotmp3]

stranger things: the game

nancy and barb gameplay

(or, the one where i have too much fun yet again with this concept)

[ichijokaoru]

one of my favourite kuuga scenes (Tsubaki and Ichijou, episode 38) and then, it’s bestie (Tsubaki and Godai, episode 47) which I think are interesting to watch back to back…

neither of them feature both Godai and Ichijou, but, espeically put together, they’re two of my fave goichi moments… I have so much I could say about them, that I don’t even know where I’d begin

[wormandzeewriting]

Endure.

I know you're tired. I know it hurts.

The cracked skull, the goggles,

Her missing anchor.

I know. I know the grief will be hard.

Living will be hard. I know this to be true.

But- Hey, no. Look at me.

Wipe your eyes, look at me.

I'm asking you to endure.

I'm asking you to endure the memories,

To endure the aching in your scars.

The pounding in your head,

The ink staining your clothes.

I'm asking you to be strong, for me.

For her memory. Just her memory.

Look at me. Please, look at me.

Wipe your eyes.

It will be hard without her.

I know, I know. It will be hard to go on.

It will be hard to find purpose.

But we have to.

And- No, look at me. Please.

Believe me, I know. I know you're a monster.

But that doesn't change anything now.

We just need to keep going.

Wipe your eyes. Take my hand.

I'm not asking you to be strong.

I'm asking you to keep living.

Keep remembering, keep growing.

Keep enduring.

It hurts like nothing before, I know.

Stand with me. Walk. Breath, slowly.

Come inside. We have much to do.

[triple-starsss]

think i might've?? mentioned this before but prior to moving into the T☆S apartment, Silver didn't have a place of his own. he was a bit of a couch surfer and would live with Blaze, Vanilla or sometimes the Chaotix.

he often felt VERY guilty for staying with them so he'd frequently switch, afraid he'd overstay his welcome and thought he was intruding in their space (despite each of them saying its completely fine, he can stay for as long as he likes, he isnt a burden to them)

when he got the opportunity to move into an apartment with Sonic and Shadow it was nice to finally have a place where he knew for sure he was able to stay for good. However it still didn't feel right, he still didn't think he truly earned it.

[skunkes]

the thing abt the surgery is that yes I do get litle moments of being ecstatic it finally happened but also I just feel Normal now. like my base state for all my life up until last week was worry, horror, and panic when i'd occasionally remember the very unwanted thing my body was capable of, spiraling into what ifs on potential conflicts in my life and future... and now i just feel Not Stressed Out All the Time. Normal.

[msnihilist]

Finally watching Smile 2, I'm a little over halfway through and I'm not sure that I'm liking it quite as much as the first one. It's very good still! Very freaky, I love the cinematography and the elevated levels of mind-fuckery. But I feel like the first one had a much tighter grasp on the mental illness angle, in regards to the symbolism.