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egophiliac · 5 months ago

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c. can i ask what's happening with idia during the whole tsum thing

Idia gets into a fistfight with his tsum and loses

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #tsumsted wonderland #i feel like i need some kind of signal to indicate when something is 100% actual canon with no exaggeration #because this really is just exactly what happens #idia gets physically bested by a beanbag and ends up on the floor wailing for ortho to save him #god i love tsumsted events #i was SO sad when there was no question mark after 'the end' this time :(#twst no we need staff tsums now #i need to see crowley versus a second smaller crowley #sigh. just one more week til we find out what happens at malleus' tsum party...

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giantkillerjack · 1 year ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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benevolenterrancy · 22 days ago

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poor Liu Qingge is really going through it in the succubus extra, he just had to go and get a crush on the most oblivious man alive

"Younger than me... we had a rocky start... completely devoted.... often together.... saved each other..... peerless beauty..... outstanding talent.... noble blood.... totally in love with me...... Wow what a weird love fortune! Definitely doesn't match anyone in my life!" says Shen Qingqiu while actively sitting next to one of the two men it perfectly describes

#svsss #liu qingge #shen qingqiu #liushen #sqq #lqg #maybe you could be a LITTLE slower at completely denying everything about the fortune sqq..... for lqg's sake......#succubus: lol what do you know it's not like YOU'RE his fated one #lqg:#lqg: *kill bill siren*#you know in both mdzs and tgcf i'm pretty set on the main ship. don't really feel much need to shake them up #but in svsss i think sqq deserves a harem. i'm willing to ship him around with anyone let's have fun with it #go for it lqg!! it'll be like trying to romance a brick but i believe in you!!#my art

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panstarry · 8 months ago

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my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

#pan draws #pan designs #zine #risograph #i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline #i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently #anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in #but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us.#so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they #actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye #tdov #trans day of visibility #<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you #xines

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cosmosnout · 9 months ago

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The real reason Oda had to get rid of her was not for plot convenience, but bc she would have kicked everyone’s ass. (Source: trust me bro)

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clouvu · 3 months ago

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Cooking up an older Clervie outfit design so I don't have to keep drawing her looking like her child self but Long

#genshin impact #clervie #ngl i have so many thoughts about an older clrv's design but at the same time artistically im not that creative </3 #mostly tried to make her look more like a direct contrast to arlecchino's design (which was already present but we ignore that)#cause arle's design is mostly very sharp and angular while i'd imagine clervie's being much more rounded out and softer #like they are the round vs pointy cat meme in human form #the hair was really tricky cause on one hand much like everyone else we dont really keep the same hairstyle our entire lives #butttttt at the same time idk i feel like her long hair flowing down (and her headband) are very recognizable parts of her #so i decided to not change much (also cause i dont trust myself making multiple drastic changes without changing their identity too much)#also halfways through coloring I realized she's kinda giving crucabena outfit wise but we ignore that </3 #anyways clervie would def be a support/healer character if actually playable (leaning more towards buffer support imo)#ITS A MASSIVE 50/50 IF SHE WOULD BE A HYDRO OR ANEMO USER but i decided hydro for the time being cause it compliments HOTH's dpses more #aka Arlecchino Lyney and partially Freminet since if i remember correctly he's more physical based but cryo nonetheless #i just really like the idea of Clervie's passive being along the lines of boosting stats/dmg if there's HOTH members present in a team #anyways sorry for the text wall I just really need to be kicked out of the kitchen #i am UNDERCOOKING the food #character design is not my passion </3

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months ago

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Archery Nemesis.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin zixuan #wei wuxian #(Trying to not break my own continuity by showing WWX changing outfits in the middle of a comic...I'm doing my best...)#The original line for the third panel was just 'fuck you' which admittedly is a funnier line.#Wei Wuxian really does call JZX a little pretty boy (not in those words but close enough) and then dramatically one-ups him...#Not only that; he tries to use Lan Wangji's headband as a blindfold. Which I think we need to take a moment to analyze.#It's probably easiest to look at this as ship-tease but I think it's far more in line with how WWX's mask is slipping.#He knows full well how poorly touching LWJ's headband went in the past.#But somehow - in this moment of his anger being targeted at JZX - that crucial information is forgotten.#He's got tunnel vision over something so small...and what do we know about emotions that don't suit the supposed cause?#Why that would be displacement. Something is bothering him and it sure is *not* just Jin Zixuan's fancy ass.#WWX came back but he didn't come back the same. It's rather unsettling how it feels like he's putting on a performance of himself here.

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itsajollyjester · 4 months ago

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Family Portrait

The only family he has.

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time-woods · 1 year ago

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EMOTIONAL WIN ! ! the bug lets his emotions make decisions for once !

#when ur bug has rsd #mf needs affirmations after everything man #ppl expect a mystery fantasy drama but its gonna end up being a story abt learning how to experience being yourself #a whole story just about experiencing emotions and how amazing and beautiful that can be #( with a side serving of heavily autistic experiences)#get praaaaankeed #i really dont get kissing but here it sorta made sense i think #kissing with mandibles must be a bit difficult #shoutout to unhinged jaw #chasing stars au #adventure time #fionna and cake #adventure time au #Sīdus the Fallen star #prismo the wishmaster #the carmine cavalier #scarab the god auditor #prohibitedwish #this technically has a part 1 but i didnt line it or anything- i may add it onto this later if i feel like it #Sīdus is the one to usually instigate stuff but he makes sure Carma is the one to go further #kinda just letting him know that hes there for him but no matter what he gets to choose what hes comfortable with-#when hes in such an unfamiliar situation

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spilledkaleidoscope · 1 year ago

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Kim Skills!

No faces for him.

(drew this to accompany what started as a little spin-off of another fic...it's on ao3)

#can you tell that I really like drawing hands cause I do #I guess this goes in the main tag? sorry #disco elysium #for those who have read A Spilled Kaleidoscope: the first chapter of this is basically the Bonus chapter but reworked a little and extended #Kim Kitsuragi #btw I need to add how clever I feel for making PROCESSOR the only one that shows the palms of the hands :3 #my art

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egophiliac · 8 months ago

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(almost) four years in, and I finally had time to draw something for the anniversary! woo! 🎉🎉🎉

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #because i need to talk for a minute about how the plot of the anniversary story so far is literally just #crowley jumpscares us in our living room to demand we make him lunch and yuu is just like 'i need to start locking the door'#oh twst you always know just how to get me #the qol updates though! CONVERTING SINGLE KEYS INTO 10-SETS YES THANK YOU OH MY GOD #SKIP LESSON TICKETS!!!!#3X BATTLE SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!!#SAVE TEAM BUILDS AND SUPPORT CARDS FINALLY AHHHHH #oh and some other stuff too but look i NEEDED these things #also master chef grim! he's so precious!#though he's not going to get a little sporty uniform after all?#grim canonically flies in the nude i guess #no it's okay chef grim is ADORABLE #if you zoom in on his card you can see little smoodges from his inexpert cake decoration 😭#which on the one hand is cute but on the other hand i'd been convinced he'd just slapped some frosting and candles on an actual can of tuna #anyway happy (a few days until the) fourth anniversary everybody!#i've been here since the beginning (preregistered during the dorm reveals babyyyy) and it REALLY doesn't feel like it's been four years #you know what they say: time flies when you're watching anime characters have emotional problems

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year ago

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finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for?#open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer)#maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel #once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs #i respected their commitment to the theme #but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities #dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton #ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered #i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it #aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment #honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet #letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already.#really i've put off my responsibilities long enough #(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings)#(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time)#(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.)#(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)

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nerdy-hyperfixations · 2 months ago

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He just wants to be missed

#gravity falls #bill cipher #ford pines #stanford pines #billford #shitpost #the amount of times Bill asks if people will miss him is something he needs to bring up in therapy #did your parents not love you enough Bill?#your issues are showing #ignore the mistakes #I’m too tired to fix them #and honestly not emotionally stable enough #feeling like a piece of shit rn and I haven’t even done anything wrong #…um but #did you guys miss me? 🥺🥺🥺#one day I’m gonna stop posting entirely and wait patiently for the ‘omg are you okay’ messages that will never come in #and then give up and post again #I never said I was any better than him here #I too constantly crave validation from others and really want to be missed

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

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buttercupshands · 2 months ago

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I started drawing this next day after I finished Act 6

13 or so days and it's finished!

Main things are traditional and Loop's body was edited digitally after

Unedited it looks like this

I've been torn on how to do Loop's body for the entirety of lining, also

A bit sad the main lines are visible only as a wip, most of this thing is literally just a ton of sharp lines

I think it's also my first day of drawing, Loop is just a sketch here (feat. my leg)

I even finished the beans before it so they were a moral support, because if you let me things like this take a year

#fanart #my art #isat #isat fanart #in stars and time #isat loop #loop #traditional art #artists on tumblr #Phew #So anyway this was my way of figuring out my thoughts after finishing the game #I didn't even actually finish it with credits playing at that moment #This type of art is my therapy #And in a way literally how my personality works from big figures to small details of thinking about anything #It's really calming!#I won't tag paper figures but they're here #Like special guests #In any case the funniest thing was showing this to my English teacher and she was like 'wow this looks stressed' or something #Like she immediately looked at the lines and after I showed her my old Flowey drawing like this she was like #'oh it makes sense! This one looks calm but this one is clearly you not feeling good'#Because I was kinda #Like sitting there in the semi-park and feeling sick since morning before I started drawing this and slowly I got better #I already talked about this on my first 'big' isat thing - I needed to think a bit #And not think at the same time just literally letting myself sort stuff out #Like. I fell asleep at 6 am that day and woke up at 10 4 hours of sleep after playing full Act 5 and two hats stuff IS STRESSFUL #SUPER STRESSFUL! Like I felt like I was playing for 4 hours while sleeping #Anyway by the time I finished it aka today I'm feeling way better and I'm literally talking a walk right now #Touching grass as we speak #Anyway phew!#Now to that animatic that's plaguing my mind to draw it nowww

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tervaneula · 21 days ago

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Was listening to "I am weary, don't let me rest" and "I know you'll follow" from Snorri Hallgrímsson (Icelandic composers my beloved ough) — and got consumed by feelings so here's some repeat until death aftermath 🫠

#I AM SO UNWELL ABOUT THEM #i'm gonna cry this feels a little like a parallel to nqk chapter 15 #leonardo has come so far but the journey has really just begun #hhhhh i have no patience for backgrounds but this one needed it and now it's 2am and i am blind #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt movie #disaster twins #future leo #future leonardo #future mikey #future michelangelo #future donnie #future donatello #nqk #nqk adjacent #tervdraws

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