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daughterofscotland · 10 hours ago

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Decisions and Bubble Baths

After months and months I finally managed to write a little snippet of a BuckTommy fix it fic recently... and today I finished it at almost 2k.

Go me! AO3 Link: Decisions and Bubble Baths

Pairing: BuckTommy

Tags: Light NON-SEXUAL BDSM, hopeful ending

Summary: After their break up, both Buck and Tommy realize that their dynamic outside of the bedroom has some long-term consequences. Eddie realizes they need some help to fix it.

***

Buck didn't know what to wear. He was supposed to get dressed for a dinner with the team - not like their old cook outs, since Bobby and Athena still hadn't found a new place (or build a new one, he wasn't sure), but at a restaurant. Eddie was going to pick him up, saying he didn't want to drink anyway, and Buck... Buck didn't know what to wear.

***

It's not like they had planned it, this dynamic between them. But on their sixth date Buck couldn't decide what to wear, almost making them late, and Tommy had confidently grabbed a pair of jeans, a shirt, and over-shirt, handed it to Buck, and said. "You're going to wear these." Buck hadn't argued, his head suddenly silent, as the decision was taken from him, and gotten dressed. They hadn't talked about it. But then it happened again, when Buck couldn't decide on what to order at a new ice cream shop. Tommy had simply turned to the girl behind the counter, ordered for them both, and Buck hadn't argued. And it happened again in the grocery store, when Buck couldn't decide on a wine. Then they talked about it. Tommy insisted on research (Buck might have had to blow him about it) about clear communication and boundaries. They had already played around in bed, had discovered early on that their kinks matched well. But "daddy" and "baby boy" were for sex. Neither of them wanted to move it out of the bedroom.

So Tommy became "sir" whenever Buck needed help to make a decision. A firm, grounding hand on his neck when he spiraled or got so excited about whatever he was talking about, he became faster and faster and couldn't stop himself. Buck was "sweetheart" whenever Tommy needed calm, needed to be worshiped, needed to be treated like he was precious. Buck always wanted Tommy to feel that way, but Tommy had trouble allowing himself the comfort. At some point, Tommy had created a virtual wardrobe for Buck, with clothes made from his actual wardrobe, for days he wasn't on shift. He planned outfits a month in advance, so Buck wouldn't be paralyzed by a decision while Tommy wasn't there. In return, Buck had put at least one moment of "treatment" a week into Tommy's calendar: a bubble bath, a massage, a special meal. It worked for them and made them happy.

But now it had been a month since Tommy had walked out of Buck's life, with no word since. He'd spent a month baking to try to not think about Tommy, to keep from calling him, had ignored the way he'd started to get jittery and always felt cold and restless, how he kept looking to his side to share a joke or a fact he learned, just to find the space next to him empty. And now the virtual wardrobe was empty. Buck had used the last pre-coordinated clothes and now he sat before his actual wardrobe, unable to choose a simple outfit.

This was how Eddie found him.

Eddie didn't know what kind of dynamic Buck and Tommy had going on - neither did he want to - but he knew there was something. Buck was... calmer. More thoughtful, less impulsive. He still talked a lot, but when they were out together, Eddie saw the way Tommy put his hand on Buck's neck when he got lost in his spirals, how he squeezed, and calmed Buck down that way. The first time Hen noticed Buck's clothing style had changed and Buck blushed and said "Tommy picked it out for me", Eddie knew he didn't just mean something like Tommy buying him clothes.

So after the breakup, when nothing changed too much - except the excessive baking - Eddie thought: Okay, it's fine, he'll be alright. Should he have played keep-away with his phone with Hen? Probably not. But he also didn't want Buck to get hurt again, and he thought not contacting Tommy would make it easier for him. But then something changed. Buck became more restless. A bit more unkempt. He kept looking to the side when he was talking and then he just trailed off, looking lost. It was like he was always somehow out of sync with himself. And then there was Tommy. Eddie messaged him after the break up, telling him he was an idiot, but he would still be Eddie's friend and better show up to their next basketball game. Eddie didn't mention the break up then. They didn't talk about Buck at all, actually. He noticed Tommy looked like he didn't sleep well, of course, and he didn't talk much - but Tommy was always a bit more quiet, so it wasn't too much of a change. But the few times Eddie visited him to work on the car, he noticed the garage getting kind of... cluttered. Dirty. And that was certainly unusual. So was Tommy shying away from every touch, and looking increasingly tense. And now here Buck was, sitting on his bed, staring at his wardrobe, a lost look in his eyes. Unable to choose clothing for himself.

Clearly, Eddie had underestimated something about their dynamic, and it needed to be fixed. He went to the balcony and even shut the door for good measure, before he called Tommy. Not that he expected Buck to hear anything from him even if he were to stand right next to him, but still.

"'lo?" "Shit, man, were you asleep? Sorry, I didn't think you'd be on shift." "No, no, it's fine," came Tommy's voice, gravely, and accompanied by a yawn. "I wasn't... just taking a nap..." "Okay, good, because this is important, and I need you to be awake." "What? What's going on?" Tommy sounded more alert immediately. "Look, man, I don't know what kind of stuff you and Buck got up to, but clearly your breakup has some long-lasting ramifications." Eddie listened to the way Tommy's breathing sped up, clearly worried if not panicked. "We're supposed to go to a restaurant with the team but he's up there, in his loft, almost catatonic, because he doesn't know what to wear. He literally can't choose his own clothes, man. How the fuck did that happen?" There was silence on the other end and Eddie felt himself getting angry. "I swear to god, Tommy, if you hang up on me -" "I am not," Tommy assured him, a slight wobble in his voice. "I'm not... I... god, I fucked up so badly." "Yeah, well, we all know that, mostly due to the pounds we have put on eating all of Buck's "I am not allowed to call him so I am baking" loaves. I know you aren't doing any better, either. So, whatever reason you had to break up, fine, you figure that out on your own time. But clearly this is about more than just your romantic relationship." "Yeah... yeah it's... it is," Tommy agreed, swallowing hard. "I don't... okay. I can... I think I can help, but you'll need to give Ev- Buck the phone, alright?" "Don't call him that, Tommy," Eddie said quietly. "I am pretty sure that makes it worse." "Yeah. Yeah, okay." "I'll put you on speaker and next to him on the bed. Then I will go back outside to the balcony, so give me a minute before you do whatever you want to do. I don't want to hear it."

***

"Evan? Evan, can you hear me?" Tommy. That was Tommy's voice, sounding tinny and far away. Buck blinked and looked around, his eyes falling on the phone next to him. "Tommy?" he asked, coughed and cleared his throat. Picking up the phone, he tried again. "Tommy?" "Not quite. Eddie told me you need some help?" And just like that, something in Buck calmed down. But at the same time he could feel his eyes starting to hurt from unshed tears. "I... Sir. Please. I, I don't... what do I wear?" There was a sharp intake of breath from the other end of the line but Tommy's voice was completely calm as he answered. "That's okay, Evan. I'll help you. Where are you going tonight?" Buck thought for a moment. "Uhm, a restaurant, with the team. Mongolian, I think." "Okay, that's good, Evan. Do you have those dark-washed jeans you bought in Anaheim?" Buck looked around and found them on the ground in front of his clothes. "Yeah, I do." "Alright. Those, with that royal blue shirt you bought two months ago. It's probably gonna be warm at the restaurant, so no need for an over-shirt, but wear your black jacket for the trip. And the black boots. Okay?" "Yeah. Yes, sir. I got it. Thank you." Buck was already getting dressed, having put the phone on the bed again. "Of course, I am glad I could help, Evan."

Buck swallowed. He... he was glad Tommy didn't call him Buck again, but his voice still sounded off. Not quite like himself. Buck took a deep breath. He never had switched this fast, but he needed to do this right now. "You really did help," he assured the other man. "But what about you? Do you need help, too, Tommy?" There was silence on the other end and Buck worried he had gone too far, that Tommy had hung up. But then there was a slightly wobbly sounding breath, a cracked voice answering him. "I... yes, I... I think I do, sweetheart." "Okay, Tommy," Buck said, sitting back down and putting the phone to his ear. "That's okay. Do you... do you still have my key?" "Yeah. Yes, I do. Sorry, I wanted to give it to Eddie, but I just couldn't -" "Hey, hey, don't worry about that, it's okay," Buck assured him. Tommy sounded a bit frantic, definitely not as calm as he'd been before. He was just as lost as Buck had been. "Why don't you come over here, hm? I still have those bath salts you like, and your bubble bath. Come here, take a nice long bath, and then take a nap in my bed until I come back. Okay? I won't be out too long. Or, if you want, I will stay home and wait for you." Another silence that was broken by an almost sob. "No, you... you go. Enjoy your dinner. I'll... I'll do what you said, sweetheart." "Yeah?" Buck asked, a small smile on his face. "You will be here when I come home, Tommy? And I can see what else you need?" "Yes, I will," Tommy assured him, his voice more steady now. "You won't be long?" "Three hours, tops," Buck promised him, already mapping the route in his head, how much time he would have to eat before he had to leave the restaurant again. "You'll be okay, baby." "Yeah. You, too, sweetheart. I promise."

Buck swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment. This wasn't a solution, just a temporary band-aid for both their pain. They would have to talk, really talk, to see where to go from here. But for now, he hung up the phone, shoved all his clothes in the closet, and went downstairs to prepare a few cookies and a piece of lemon loaf on a covered plate, with a glass of water, putting it in his bathroom for Tommy to enjoy during his bath. Eddie didn't interrupt him and only squeezed his shoulder once before they left, Buck leaving the light on before locking the door behind himself, so Tommy would be reminded that he was expected. That he was wanted. It would have to be enough for now.

#9-1-1 #bucktommy #kinley #tevan #fix-it fic #my writing

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tumblerislovetumblerislife · 14 hours ago

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wait tags aren't enough, i need to go more insane

FIRSTLY bringing back my discord reaction because. i stand by it okay.

okay so first thing i notice is the colour, the very monochrome red/salmon pink (?) in the background, their skin, even the hair. and then the bright contrast of the white shirt, the green pieces and words (AND WHAT WORDS THEY ARE!), the gold necklace. sidenote but i am IN LOVEEE with the way you render the necklace, it looks so slinky and fun. like not what a necklace looks like but what a necklace should look like if that makes sense?? it looks better than a real necklace basically. the composition?? oh my god. the rectangle that can't perfectly contain them is so fun, and then the words at the top and bottom (like teeth!) with "promise" emphasised like that! the ANGLE of them!! charles' completely focused expression, his lashes (the most important part!!!), his pointy ear and his wispy hair. what little we can see of edwin and what it hints at, the perfect hair and the back of the ear (which is so difficult to draw, i'm jealous of you!!) and the line of his neck and uh. his fingers. still so put together. also the lighting is just beautiful, i adoreeeeee the highlights over charles' eyebrows and eyelids, the side of his face, his chest, that seem to come from the bright background! ✨

SECONDLY NEW THINGS

comparing this against the previous version is insaneeeeeeee it's like spot the difference but difference is my sanity. no joke. i feel like i see the most difference in charles' face? so so gorgeous, i am in LOVE with the line of his nose and his lashes and his curls aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! THE GOLD MARCELA YOU ARE A GENIUS charles should wear gold eyeliner always and forever. thanks for coming to my ted talk. MULTIPLE EARRING CHARLES MY BELOVED and the NIP PIERCINGS?????? if you're trying to kill me you're. succeeding. holy shit. edwin playing with the piercings........

i've said this before but the angle is everything!!!!!!!!!! the subtle power dynamics, charles tilting his head up like that, even furrowing his eyebrows slightly.... and then the effect of this constrained rectangle with charles' head the only thing that pops out! and you know i'm crazy for that green/pink/white contrast we don't need to repeat this discussion.

AND YOUR TECHNIQUE?? the colouring and the shading and the sketch-like lines and the texture... it is everything i fear. dreaming of a date where you just show me your art techniques. holy shit

AND THE QUOTES??????? nick's quote will always be famous ofc (love those changes too, the added contrast and the sketchy quality of the blocks, but still matching the dark pinks!) AND CHARLES' BOOK OF SECRETS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i am NOT ready for the day that drops fr i'm telling you now

OVERALL

i did not think it was possible to fall MORE in love w nip touch art but you've managed to prove me wrong once again. JUST LOOK AT HOW HAPPY THEY ARE (okay okay i'll stop) charles in gold is everything to me. currently hyperventilating into a paper bag. if you care. also you dropped this 👑💍💖 they're yours now to do with what you will

10. in the meanwhile as you chop down our roots measure out D E V O T I O N add lantern oil stir the concoction counter-clockwise. leave it to simmer on the lowest heat. [charles' book of secrets] poem by me art quote by @wordsinhaled

#payneland #dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #dbda #art #ART OF ALL ART #THE SORT OF ART THAT CHANGES LIVES

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lucabyte · 4 months ago

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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks #hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature #ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual #isat spoilers #isat #isat fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY #in stars and time #in stars and time fanart #lucabyteart #RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete #they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months ago

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While you were fighting in the war, I was falling in a pit.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #nie mingjue #jiang cheng #lan wangji #jin guangshan #blood #Not tagging wen xu because I...I don't think he ever comes back in the story after this.#Minorest of characters despite his significance in the wen sect.#You guys ever think about how the three months WWX was missing was probably the closest LWJ and JC ever were?#The missed friendship between them is so deliciously painful! They really do have a lot in common!#Maybe it is because they are similar that they can't make it work past the war.#Maybe it is the similarities that make JC feel even worse about WWX drifting away from him and towards LWJ.#This is all to say I think the dynamic between LJW and JC is very interesting and not something I see talked about.#In the *end* it becomes something along the lines of 'LWJ ignores JC' but god. Missing the same person so painfully.#The grieving takes very different form but they both still grieve the same person - essentially in isolation from everyone else.#Other notes I *need* to add: The end of ep 13 took me out with the falling scream. Why did they do it like that?#Genuinely the funniest thing I have heard.#I like to imagine he fell plinko style. Bumping around on random branches and ghosts for 3 months.

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toxintouch · 28 days ago

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It would be so fascinating if the cult that Unnamed was raised in is a remnant of Vere's cult from when he was being worshipped as a god.

#like the cult takes in Unnamed bc they think they.......could make their true god (Vere) return to them....#idk what Unnamed's cult would be using them for--initial thought was “our god: reincarnated”#but that doesn't feel like it makes sense with the info we have...#there's a dynamic here....to play with....#Deicide!Vere has entered the chat #bought extra stickers for when/if i meet ppl in person at cons and etc. :3 #rolled outta bed wrote this & going back to sleep now gn #toxtheory #Touchstarved theory #vere theory #*one of Vere's many cults. his “most faithful” aaahhh i gotta write his reaction to this if nothing elseeee #sacrifice!unnamed #tag wrangle l8r #note to self: flavor tag needed

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hellogoodbyeitsme · 2 months ago

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Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent

Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people

#obviously it's always funny to do the whole 'what do u have there Damian?' 'a knife!' 'nO' thing #and like make him a horrendous and silly evil gremlin who can and will pull a sword out in the middle of a parking lot to fight #but listen #he doesn't like the assassin background that much and once he learns about like The Normal World he's honestly in anguish about it #that's canon! that's the truth! (right?) (the whole thing with Goliath?? I'm not making it up right???)#i think he's just the kind of guy who loves his swords because they're what he knows and they're a strong connection to his family #but I think it's nice if he spends his time on field telling others what to do because everyone else learned to fight the OTHER way #(by defending and subduing opponents rather than maiming and killing)#so he prefers to take on a tactician general role despite being perfectly capable as a fighter because he knows what everyone else needs #to do to succeed in fights - especially when things are a bit of a mess - but is afraid to be too rough or scary or violent or Demon Son-is #(the things that make him feel like he doesn't belong in a happy civilian world - WHICH IS WHAT HE WANTS IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.)#in this essay I will explain why this allows for him to show awe and love for each of his siblings' fight styles by utilising all of them #and I just think Dami Babs and Tim could really work together as a detective/tactician comms team (with varying distances from the field)#because I think that'd be so fun: Tim is solving (mid-range) Babs is watching/providing supports (far) and Damian is commanding (close)#because the others are like The Bruisers (in their non-lethal way) who trust themselves to only hurt as much as is needed and are good at i #PLUS babs is SO stretched thin and literally the backbone of the bats so I just want a future where some of the kids become HER robins yk #anyway back to the point of the post:#it's kind of alluded to in 2017 supersons; EVERYONE in it comments on how Robin is JUST doing flips and shouting orders #and jon is like The Muscle and the one Doing Stuff - but Jon IS following orders 85% of the time and it works out well for them because #that dynamic of 'I'm not sure I can do it right by myself and I trust you to be my partner so we can do it right together' really #is my favourite like.. they're both filling these ideas of who they're meant to be and they just :( they just seek their own path together #oh no I lost the point again immediately and it became another WHY DO THEY SEPARATE THEM rant #I just think it's really fun to think of Damian as 'the most well trained fighter but ALSO the most likely to step back from a fight'#like yeah when we add in my thoughts on pit rage it adds some angst but that doesn't matter here in THIS post #have I even talked about my hc on pit rage/madness? I don't think I have LMAO (maybe another day)#anyway it's late I'm tired why do I always chat in the tags so much #my posts are literally all in the tags 2% post 98% tags smh #damian wayne #damian al ghul #damian al ghul wayne

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jeanmoreaue · 6 months ago

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Do you think jerejean will be endgame? I feel like out of everyone Jeremy is the best fit for Jean

o ya 100% i think Jeremy and Jean are the best fit for each other. they’ve got chemistry, they’ve got shared goals, just symbolically i think they’re good for each other, and i love the dynamic it adds to each of their characters ie Jean liking people who are optimistic/bright and sunny (Renee, Jeremy) and Jean being able to read Jeremy really well/be attuned to whatever he’s repressing lol (I’m just assuming that’s where their dynamic is headed since Jean already has been so perceptive about Jeremy’s feelings)

for Kevin and Jean, i think that Kevin definitely doesn’t feel the same way that Jean did (i think Jean’s kind of moved on a bit), but even if Kevin did like Jean back i don’t think it would be the healthiest option for either of them. personally i just absolutely love the dynamic of Kevin and Jean’s current relationship, how it seems imbalanced with Jean liking Kevin and only having Kevin to rely on, but Kevin not quite as invested (but obv still caring for Jean)

and Jean and Renee just don’t see each other enough, i think it’s been set up narratively that they’re just friends now

#i’ve always just loved the idea of jeremy/jean #for so many reasons #i think that the only like barrier they’ll have is the fact that Jeremy is Jean’s captain which wouldn’t normally matter #but since that’s the dynamic that Riko had + there’s the awful rumors going around about Jean sleeping around regarding him being assaulted #i think that Jeremy will feel a bit reluctant to act on his feelings and Jean will have to take the first step #and kind of be like ?? hello??#but also maybe not depending on how the dynamic between the two of them changes next book #if jean opens up a bit more and jeremy feels more comfortable that jean would be able to say no when he doesn’t want smth #then i think Jeremy would be more willing to make the first move #bc rn jean is not saying no when he needs to be for other things #clearly i could talk more about this anon pls tell me what you think im very curious #aftg #tsc #jerejean #the sunshine court #jean moreau #jeremy knox #ask tag

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gobstoppr · 1 year ago

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hey guys am i allowed to say on main that i dont like metadad . am i gonna get beaten up for saying this.

guys i think we all took the term found family too literally and now everythings flattened into a boring nuclear family. guys can we stop. hello . is anybody there

#text #it was kinda charming at first but it feels like everytime i try to look at the mk tag its always the same shit . guys. guys.#we can do so much more w/ their dynamics than just dad and son ugh its so . ughhh.#every since i realized i was like . really really aroace. ive started to grow a bit of a distaste for shipping culture #this is relavant i swear. iwanna talk about metadede #like ok in fandoms right. theres often #the enforcement of specific roles onto characters for a simplified understanding of them for memes and drawing ideas #we want gay rep but we dont quite have it canonically so we make our queer headcanons seem more legit #by giving a char a same sex partner. ok easy we did it. gay people are real now #and we get awesome art and its wonderful bc people are wonderful #but its like . the relationships themselves feel flat a lot of the times.#metadede never seems to be about dedede. its about mk having a boyfriend. bc we need him to date someone.#and im not like . mad at anyone about this. i participated in it back in the day. but like.#ok so. gay hcs are the most popular in most fandom things bc its easy; hot; and sweet #but things like aro or ace hcs? its just. they. how can you depict that in a single framed drawing of a char?so theres none at all.#its not even that i actively hc chars aroace its jsut this is my world view; how i default to reading chars #maybe this rant in the tags is unrelated after all.#but idk. ive got lots of thoughts about things.#anyways as ceo of meta knigth im right about everything #i can talk more about metadad stuff specifically if people want

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moe-broey · 3 months ago

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Back to what I do best (bare minimum Putting My Guys In Situations shitposts) 😌

Inspo under cut!!!

#fire emblem #feh #got so mad at my other thing i finished this one out of spite.#this shitpost is also what spurred on my recent fairy posts! really really funny and unironically cool #how shitpost redraws can just. help you get a better feel for a chara and/or their dynamics w other charas #or in this case makes you REALLY think about them like!!! yeah haha funny plumeria hatemail #but like how am i gonna draw her actually? how am i gonna portray her? i need to figure these things out as i go #which led to my redesign and oops! uh oh! she's in my brain now. she's taking on a life of her own.#i def needed the break/detour though... if i ever want to get to my fairy lore i have to. develop the fairy lore.#also kind of fucked up and evil i think i finally hit a point where i was tired of drawing alfonse. insane.#to be fair... that other project i've been working on.... has hands.#again just a much needed break/shifting of gears. it was a lot of fun!!!!!#this was a rush job though i will admit that. again. finished out of Spite.#okay okay now that i'm done complaining. about the piece itself i feel like i have to say #THE CHARACTERIZATION... IS SO PEAK SILLY HERE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. ESPPP SHARENA #sharena just being a yes man to moe. bc they're besties she HAS to be in its corner and defend its good name!!! 😤😤😤#moe just. being oppositional just for the sake of it. guy who loves to just Say Things so long as it gets a good reaction.#(CAN GO. SO POORLY FOR IT.)#alfonse.#i just loooove... putting guys in situations... it's soooooo fun #fe plumeria #sharena #fe alfonse #moe tag #summoner oc #my art #my comics

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fungh0u1 · 6 months ago

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eeveryone says they love emo bitches until they meet one

#naruto #karin uzumaki #sasuke uchiha #team taka #sorry for the naruto fanart making up a fake jutsu. i just really think she needed one #brief explanation i like to imagine her cutting herself and then having her friends drink her blood instead of having them bite her #because i sooo do nottt like the biting thing it is really really bleak to me. no good. i'd love her to have a little agency over it.#secondary brief explanation i also wanted to switch up her freak dynamic with sasuke becauseeee one i dont like how it is #and two i feel that they are two sides of the same coin in the 'used for their bodies' way.#so therefore i think it would be interesting if karin had a bit of a power play thing going on in a similar wayy to sasuke.#or at least how i see him.#very longwinded in the tags you can see i am a bit too embarrassed to make a naruto opinion text post.#self harm cw #my art

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crayonverse · 5 months ago

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cw abuse implications

been awhile since drawing anything canon adjacent lmao anyway heres ein and his manipulative father figure who hates him

wanted 2 go with some holy imagery bc of that line ein has in s6 where he says the only person worthy of respect is Michael n yeah. he has some issues

#i want 2 draw regular terry later to cleanse my soul ... i love terry #unfortunately for terry he is also the Devil #also this dynamic w ein and michael is why i view travis n ein as like. pseudo half brothers #its like “well technically our fathers are the same guy but not really???” just like a strange situation for them both #w travis viewing michael as like this disease that was inflicted on his own father #V ein viewing terry as the blight on michael's record. the stain that needed to be removed etc #they hate each others dads but also cant separate them basically #i could make a very long post about my ein thoughts but hhhhh i feel like itd be too long anyway #you guys get my thoughts through small tidbits like this <3 #aphmau #mystreet #mystreet when angels fall #mystreet ein #ein mystreet #ein aphmau #aphmau ein #mystreet michael #mystreet demon warlock #eins lil drawings #aphverse #aphmau fanart #cw implied abuse #me and my paragraph of tags of rambling <33 #also dont know if i wanna post this 2 twitter bc i feel like id get jumped there #like i dont know if anyone else over there gets the “cycle of abuse” implications from michael n eins dynamic

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cathymee · 2 months ago

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maybe it's to maintain a sense of tension & turmoil that would eventually reach an explosive peak, a sense of tug-of-war, a back-and-forth to hammer home the ideals they want to deliver and for the viewers to chew on, but although these arguments regarding hiroshi & his stance as a man torn between his loyalty for his country & the loyalty for his Filipino friends and lover is of course important, how they write these scenes & the points they present from this week alone is getting too repetitive...? literally the argument scenes from last night & tonight between adelina & hiroshi is basically the same; the ideas were the same, the dynamics were the same: the aggressive, radical adelina, bristling rage and fear over the injustices she's seen thus far, and the cautious, inspiriting hiroshi, all hopefulness and reassurance one moment as a lover, defensiveness and sternness as a japanese soldier in another. this debate will be ever-present ofc, it is one of the series' biggest conflicts, but it is unfortunately so easy to tell when it is a.) being pulled up as a main topic to move the plot along / be a necessary conflict for character development/introspection / be the conflict to deliver the morals & messages the writers want to send to their viewers, or b.) when it is being pulled up only for the drama and filler to pass the time. like watching the characters sit down to argue for 10 minutes, do other things for the plot for 2 minutes, then sit down again to argue for the next 20 minutes. lol.

#lots of things i wish they would soon improve but this 1 bothered me tonight..stopped watching halfway thru #these scenes would be like excellent breaks for when we need to take a breather to digest what's been going on #but at the slow pace they've set it it's just...nothing's been going on since like...4 days ago #except for eduardo's plot #it's just arguments..everywhere....all the time....over the same repetitive things #no progress nothing new to chew on despite there being drastic changes to their situation...? same vibes from the time they weren't occupie #yet lol. same dynamics mostly #only new points of debate is regarding hiroshi & his country vs friends conflict #& carmela being desperate to go back to comfort & luxury vs her family standing as firm as they could against the occupation #ahhh i am sooo not eloquent enough to express my full thoughts but like!!! fellow viewers if y'all r here u understand me right lmfoskadhsg #finding it hard to criticize bc i'm trying to make sense of where they r coming from #a.) seeing as unlike mcai this is a complete original story it's hard to see what direction they'd like to take it to #b.) fil shows really find it hard to break away from their normal formulas of family dramas & bastard children & love triangles :'))))#god the opportunity to tell a refreshing diff story but this is like gma show 67627627th but set in the japanese era....then mixed with 50%#of the mcai show feel #the editing the visuals the acting = good. 60% of the story line = can be compared to the hundreds of gma shows we've seen be4 #anywy going off on a tangent...#c.) i can understand the slow pacing as them trying to establish the settings & the feel of that era so that the more intense tragedies-#later on would hit harder #but again. few scenes feel like they're dragging on for too long. some scenes & themes r too repetitive #need to see something differenttt something fresh something developing. something moving & feeling & connecting w/the audience #need to see more of the Philippines & the Filipino people in the 40s!! not the same afternoon prime drama shot in intramuros #need to see their messages staring into our souls instead of just being words uttered in tears #all this to say....flop era this week tbh sorry #EXCEPT FOR MAX COLLINS & HER LIKE. 3 MINS SCREEN TIME. MAX COLLINS I LOVE U QUEEN #rambles #pulang araw #putting this in the main tag i KNOW some ppl out there would feel the same & can explain this better lol i swear????

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longagoitwastuesday · 4 months ago

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I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha

I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.

I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.

It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.

Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?

And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.

The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.

These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?

Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.

The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.

After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.

#It's not that I think everything has to be character driven or take a lot of care about dynamics #Death Note for instance works well without it. There's juice in the dynamic between Light and his father and the role of Matsuda there #and it works well with Light's views and their evolution and the whole Kira situation. It isn't much. It doesn't need more #But Death Note doesn't truly drop something as big as Gojo and Megumi to then do barely nothing about it #('But L and Watari' not the same at all. That was deepened in the anime and besides Watari is not one of the main characters)#Or Megumi and his sister. If we see barely nothing of Megumi and his sister other than shiny flashbacks of her #how am I to feel moved by it all beyond superficial emotions? I don't know. It just feels so like cardboard to me #And it annoys me! It annoys me a lot! Because Jujutsu Kaisen has amazing potential! The dynamics and characters could be amazing!#But I don't trust they'll live to their full potential and the potential existing for nothing is ruining this for me xD #Jujutsu Kaisen #Sorry this time I'm tagging it. I want to find this and see if I was right when I'm finished. I think I'll read the manga too #The condescending filler breakfast comment by my friend was ironic considering the Kramer vs. Kramer breakfast scenes exist #Breakfast can be so telling. And besides he loves the Chainsaw Man coffee scene so I don't get why not breakfast #But truly some small daily life moments can tell us a lot about a character that we could recognise later on in high stakes scenes #such as how they deal in tense situations‚ what makes them snap #how they go about dealing with a problem.#Sometimes it could be smaller moments or conversations what makes characters reconsider things‚ not just having Sukuna rip their heart out #In Pandora Hearts the conversation between Elliot and Oz about the book series they love and their favourite characters becomes key #Oz's development and how he regards things‚ his own person‚ and how he deals with situations will be shaped later on by this conversation #till the very end. The entire main character's development is shaped by a 'filler' conversation.It's not filler. It's just not a fight scen #Shonen manga readers find everything filler except for fights which is ironic considering that many fights in shonen feel unnecessary #Breakfast is unnecessary. Just filler. Fighting thirty seven secondary monsters or chapter after chapter of physical training is not. Okay #Things can be small but plot relevant. If it shapes and fleshes out and deepens a character or a relationship it is not filler #And mainly MAINLY for the love of everything good if you're going to make a fucked up or Meaningful Beyond Everything dynamic #give it time and care. Actually write it. Don't give me two panels and one conversation after some life and death situation. It's not enoug #Especially if I'm to believe they are important. Make me believe they actually are #I don't know... This issue with not trusting the development of very well set potential in Jujutsu Kaisen #has not only been keeping me from thoroughly enjoying the series‚ but actively keeping me from watching for weeks #It makes me doubt if I want to spend my time in this at all since after all time is limited and we can but spend it in a handful of things #A pity. I really love some things and I really think Megumi and Gojo could be everything to me haha the Heathcliff/Hareton vibe gets me

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