#i feel like i may be on the list too but....
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chosolar1 · 2 days ago
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-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈ wanna be yours!
gojo satoru x shy!femreader
part 1
mdni please! there are sexual themes.
flirty!satoru did his best to respect your wishes but he was losing his mind. with each day passing where he didn't hear from you, his overthinking got worse. what happened for you to distance yourself from him seemingly out of nowhere?
flirty!satoru refused to go out of his penthouse unless it was severely urgent. he would get his groceries delivered or ask either suguru or shoko to buy it for it. The two tried their best to get him to at least walk around his complex but satoru would drag his body weight, making it difficult to even get him up. it got to a point where shoko threatened him that she was going to tell you how disgusting he was being. (as mean as it was, it sure got the job done)
flirty!satoru had his phone basically glued to his hand. constantly refreshing his feeds and checking everyone's stories to see if you would be there in the background. it was his only solace, seeing you happy even if he did feel like he was there was a boulder on his chest that made him feel suffocated.
flirty!satoru who sat up instantly the millisecond he got your text. it didn't matter that it was 2 in the morning, he was responding to your message ASAP.
hey satoru I hope you're doing well. is it alright if I call you? 2:33 am
he replied with a quick "yes of course", and he didn't care if he sounded desperate, because well, he was. he's been waiting for you to reach out ever since he got that text a few weeks ago.
his heart feels like it's going to burst out of his chest, each heartbeat thumps harder than the previous. he watches as his phone lights up with your contact photo and name, the ringtone blasting. within the second ring, he picks up, greeting you with a shaky voice.
"hi satoru," he hears your nervousness through the phone. your voice is nasally and he can make out the soft sniffling, but he stays quiet. "how have you been?"
satoru contemplated on what to say. should he be honest, or should he lie and say that he was doing well without you?
"better now that I can hear your voice." his heart rate sped up as he hears you soft laugh, "how about you?"
you sigh before you answer. "I'm in a dilemma to be honest."
"wanna tell me what it's about?" he urges, hoping he'll get the answer he's been looking for. satoru puts you on speaker and lets his phone drop onto his bed, his full undivided attention on you.
"well it's about you... kinda," you drift off before you continue. "the night before I sent you that text, I was working and someone asked me out."
satoru pleads in silence that this was not going where he thinks it's going. with this anxious feeling creeping up on him again, he doesn't say anything.
his uncommon reticence worries you but you carried on with the story.
"I didn't go out with him if that's what you're thinking of. I like you too much to do that. it just had me thinking because we spent months being more than friends, but am I the only one who feels that way?"
"no of course not!" satoru retorts, "I promise that it's not one-sided. why do you feel this way?"
it took you a few minutes to gather your thoughts, but satoru doesn't rush you. he hears a shaky exhale before you speak up, "I've noticed that you're flirty with everyone. you're not shy with touching other people and it just makes me feel like maybe it's wrong of me to feel special when I'm not the only one you've done these things with..."
flirty!satoru doesn't invalidate your feelings. he acknowledges each and every reason why you feel the way you do. satoru takes his time explaining that yes, he may be flirty and he's quite touchy, but it's different when it comes to you. the things he's done with you, he's never done with anyone else despite him having exes. although it's almost been a year since he's met you, the butterflies have never gone away and that each day his feelings grow.
flirty!satoru continues listing all the reasons why he loves likes you. he assures you that he may look like a fuckboy, he's far from it. he reminisces the time he had suguru psych him up to get your number because he's never had to ask for anyone's number (humble brag from him). he exhales a sigh of relief that the story earned a giggle from you.
flirty!satoru debates on telling you, but decided on keeping his plans of asking you out a secret. he wanted to prove to you that you're it for him and that there's no one else but you. satoru's big on actions speaking a lot more than words, so before he asks you out, he wants you to feel secure.
flirty!satoru posts you on his story constantly!!! whether you're out on a grocery run or a mini road trip for the long weekend, you can always count on satoru posting a soft launch story that has you in it. you don't know it, but satoru also has a secret instagram account, and the only thing he posts on it are pictures of you with the dates on it and a small paragraph of what you guys did that day. he likes to think it's modern-day scrapbooking.
flirty!satoru is obsessed with calling you nicknames, and as much as he loves saying your name - he will never not love calling you sweet nicknames like pretty girl, honey, or baby. satoru's fond of how your cheeks turn red and how you try to cover your face when he calls you any nicknames. it gives him cuteness aggression so bad, he ends up pinching your cheeks!
flirty!satoru can see how your eyes drift to look at his lips when you're talking to him face to face. you think you're so slick with it but satoru's quicker. whenever you do that little triangle trick you saw on tiktok, he leans in so he catches you by surprise. he observes with gleaming eyes as you back up to give yourself distance from him, but he just wraps his arms around you, pulling you towards him as he says, "hmm what was that baby?"
flirty!satoru has to hold himself back whenever he sees a customer come up to you and try to flirt with you. first and foremost, flirting is his thing! and second, he gets so jealous that sometimes he can't contain himself and ends up intervening. he'd make some stupid excuse to get you to leave like "hey I think someone clogged the toilet, can you check it please?" or something like that. you have to clean the stinky toilet but seeing satoru jealous is always a plus.
flirty!satoru is shocked when you made the first move and kissed him one night. it was the fact that you were sober too that surprised him even further. with you on top of him as he's sitting relaxed on the couch, his attention on the tv screen is stolen when you press your lips against his. the kiss, a seemingly innocent peck on the lips, turned into a heated make out session when satoru let go of his inhibitions. his hands roamed all over your body as his lips continue peppering kisses onto your cheeks, your jaw, and even down to your neck. satoru trails his hands from your body to hold your face gently so he can give you a final kiss before hugging you tightly.
flirty!satoru throws out all his ideas of asking you out, and opts for an intimate moment. on a cool wednesday night, he takes you back to his penthouse as per usual. he opens the door and waits to see your surprised face. he boasts that he decorated the place all by himself and even burned himself a few times with the hot glue gun to make the giant heart sign asking for you to be officially his (ngl it sounds like he's proposing but I mean who doesn't wanna marry satoru). obviously you said yes! let's just say that the heart balloons that were hanging and the flower petals scattered all over his living room were everywhere the morning after and cleaning it all up was tedious...... (but at least it was a fun night!)
flirtybf!satoru immediately changes all his profile pictures on every social media he has to pictures with you. his bio? your initials. his stories? all of you. he does not gaf he wants to show you off! the best part is satoru only follows a couple of people — you, suguru, shoko, and a few of his close relatives. satoru wants you to know that he only cares about you and only you. he never wants to and never will make you feel like you're in competition with anyone.
flirtybf!satoru is a no bs type of guy. now that your relationship was out in the open, you've gotten so many dms from other people trying to sabotage your relationship. satoru did not spend almost half a year proving his love to you for some jealous losers to try and break it, so he blocked the people who dmed you from his account and privated it.
flirtybf!satoru loves going on vacations with you, especially if it's a destination you've been telling him about. he'll almost always keep it a secret so that you don't have to worry your pretty little head about anything. costs, booking it off, transportation, he takes care of everything so the only thing you need to do is pack your bags. satoru loves how carefree you are when you're away from everyone else, and it's just the two of you in your own little world.
flirtybf!satoru is insatiable. his sex drive is so incredibly high, you wonder where his stamina comes from since he rarely did any sports. the first time you had sex, he wanted to take it slow because he wanted to savour the time with you. even though you were close when you two were just friends, having sex was a different level of intimacy. satoru wanted to show you that to him, this was not just a fuck that a one night stand will give you, no. it was making love, and he'll spend the whole night — dusk to dawn — just to show you how much he loves each and every part of you.
flirtybf!satoru started working out during his free time. he overheard you telling your friends that you love a man with a sleeper build, and well whatever his love wants, you will get. it doesn't take long until he starts seeing the fruits of his labor. he seldoms wear a shirt when he's home with just you, choosing to just wear a pair of sweatpants that he doesn't bother tying up so you can see the waistband of his calvin klein boxers. even though you two fuck often, he thinks it's so captivating that you still get bashful whenever he's being coy with you.
flirtybf!satoru loves talking about the future with you. he'll often ask you what kind of house you see yourself living in with him, and he'll make sure to get every little detail you're telling him. you've already moved into his penthouse after he begged for days for you to leave your apartment and just live with him. he takes notice of how you decorate and makes a mental note of it. satoru will make sure to say "when we have kids" or "when we're married", because he knows you're his endgame and he just can't wait for the day he's been looking forward to since he fell in love with you.
flirtybf!satoru surprises you with a trip to your dream vacation that you guys didn't get to go to before. the weather was horrendous, so the flight was cancelled but satoru booked another one closer to your birthday. he didn't tell you about it because he had a plan to make your birthday extra special. after you were done packing, he tells you that he'll meet you in the car. before satoru leaves the penthouse and locks the door, he double checks that the engagement ring is packed securely in his bag.
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hi everyone! I hope this satisfies everyone's request for a part 2 ◡̈ ngl I had to use some moments with my boyfriend because my mind was blanking out and I am prayinggggg that this one is not a disappointment to you guys! again not proofread <3
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taglist:
@lvrndkoo @sorenflyinn @realalpacorn @ninani-nanina @msun1c0rn @ourfinalisation @rio-reid-whoreee @staarflowerr @leonesimp @okayiamkassandra @starpachinko @atashiboba @blueemochii @hawkswifie @secrtjncoblog @esperssox @smiling-16
a few of them did not show up so please let me know if you didn't get a notification ◡̈
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burrowdarling · 2 days ago
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In Sickness and Health
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Summary: A glimpse at what it's like when you and Joe are feeling under the weather.
Pairings: Joe burrow x grilfriend!reader
Requested: Yes | No
Warnings: None, just fluff
Note: Hi all! Here's a short lil request while I get back into the swing of things. Thank you for being patient with me, I'm hoping to have the firsts of the series and more requests out soon. Thank you to this anon for requesting.
Word Count: 590
Check out my Masterlist here!
Taglist: @burrowbarbie @definitelynotdomanique @one-sweet-gubler @plushkhiii @enchantedinfinity @iosivb9 @hellsingalucard18 @hotburreaux Feel free to comment or message me if you'd like to be added to the list!
When Joe is sick…
He’ll always try to power through, not wanting to slow down for anything. He especially won;t slow down for something as minor as a cold. It was only when those sniffles turned into much more that you were able to convince him he needed rest. You turned into his personal nurse, wanting him to get better as soon as possible. Anything he needed, you were there when you were able to be. If you thought Joe was charming on his own, add in some helplessness from being sick and he was like a puppy. It could have been medicine, snacks, or even just your touch - you were there to give him what he needed, having a hard time saying no to those eyes. Joe would always say that you were the only medicine he needed, claiming he felt much better after he spent some time in your arms (trying your hardest not to tell him it was because he had fallen asleep in your arms). He won’t always express it, but he’s grateful with how attentive you are to him, always having a knack for knowing what he needed better than he did. It’s only a few days where he’s really down for the count, getting some of his energy back after some much needed rest. You try to tell him it’s necessary to slow down once in a while, knowing he won’t listen even if he knows the consequences. You’ll always be there to nurse him back to health, saving the ‘I told you so’ as the quiet part you both know deep down. There was very little you wouldn;t do for the man you loved so dearly.
When you’re sick…
It’s probably because you were taking care of Joe, speaking of ‘I told you so’. Joe tried to tell you he didn’t want to get you sick too, but you fought him on the grounds of not getting sick often. You act like Joe in the way that you play it off as nothing, not wanting him to feel bad that he got you sick. You knew what you were getting into when you were doting on him, willing to take the risk for your lovely boyfriend. For the first part of your sickness, it overlapped with Joe’s. You guys took the time to completely rot in bed, basking in the undivided presence of each other that you weren’t always able to get during the season. You took the time to binge-watch the shows you guys have talked about for ages, catching up on some much-needed bonding. You may not have been feeling the best, but you would take what you could get during a hectic season. When Joe was finally feeling better, you were in the thick of it. Joe took on the responsibility of taking care of you, refusing to let you go through it alone. He felt the odds of him getting sick again were slim, wanting to make sure you got the same treatment you gave him all the time, sick or not. You were grateful to have such a caring boyfriend, making sure you were doing everything you had to to get better, feeling like a princess even through sickness. He felt a sense of victory when you started to feel better, grateful to have you happy and healthy again. Both of you made a pact to rest when you could, ensuring that you and the other person could avoid getting sick again so fast.
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thementalshawty · 2 days ago
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PAC What’s Bloccin’ You From ROMANTIC Love.
Hey babies, I’m bacc with another pac I’m always hearing and getting the questions on when is love coming and I’m like aye same but there’s some things that we’re doing that’s kind of shoving love away and we don’t know what it is or we don’t wanna be real about it, well I’m here to be real some of us are purposefully pushing away love or bloccin it and we’re gonna find out why, choose between the 3 Gifs and find out what’s been bloccin you from love!!! so I won’t see your cards til I write up the reading for you guys cos I’m doing a blind reveal so I can give you very live on the spot intuition and feedbac, sometimes I like to see the cards to get an overall energy before starting the piles but something is telling me to just allow myself to experience this reading with you, hmmm maybe something in there about me we gon see.
Also I’ll be pulling one card for myself at the end to give myself a reading as well on this and I’ll love for your comments and thoughts about it, (Sumn new I wanna try)
P1
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P2
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P3
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Let’s get started shall we 😏
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Pile 1
At the bottom of the Decc for you guys you have Losing Yourself. I’m seeing that you guys easily lose yourselves in the ones that you’re involved with I’m thinking maybe even talking stages too and it’s okay to be obsessed with them I heard never stop showing affection or that you care but don’t make them your ENTIRE LIFE & EXISTENCE! You have a life too, so don’t forget to live it! This makes me feel like most of you will find love when you’re focused on you or when you’re doing something for you,living your best life you know? I’m getting a message for you saying “Also watch out for that in friendships, all relationships, all kinds.” I’m surprised that the boundaries card didn’t show up, oh well we didn’t even pull your cards yet but don’t be surprised if that’s one of the cards I feel. Yeah the main reason I feel like love is blocced for you guys is that you lose yourself completely in others which is in MY OPINION just because you don’t really know yourself that well or that confident in who you are, which is very normal so feel not type of way about it. Your first card is NOT MY TYPE. I probably have this pile cos I actually don’t know how this is a blocc but okay 🤷🏾‍♀️ you’re too picky, I think most of these people picking this pile got some kind of earth mainly Virgo placement, or you get the ICK real quicc. I am seeing that you may think only “ugly, or bleh people” hit you up or approach you but your missing out on good romantic opportunities and moments because you reject people to quicc or don’t give them chances in beating high standards which I adore! never settle Frfr, your guides are saying the same shit but they want you to be more open so maybe the person don’t have to checc off all the boxes on your list to get a chance with you, be more OPEN to different types of people, your romantic interest maybe someone you consider “NOT YOUR TYPE”. (🙄 I hate that shit to real shit cos if that don’t worc out then you’ll be even more upset cos you don’t even usually date mfs like that or whatever the case is you know, but I digress). Your next card is NOT BEING YOU. Your guides feel like you’re not showing the real you. There’s a Chris Rocc joke coming into my head, when he says when you date someone or meet someone you’re not meeting them you’re meeting their representative. This is the vibe. Some of you are shy, I think you hold bacc out of fear of judgement, or again for some of you it’s deadass lack of self and it’s bloccin you from attracting romantic love, honestly you should wanna be with someone you can be your true authentic self with and if you don’t know who that is yet than the focus shouldn’t be on romantic love it should be on SELF LOVE! You’re trying to portray perfection and this is again giving me VIRGO vibes, I’m not seeing this as you fake for some of you it’s lacc of self knowledge, but for the most of you guys it’s fear of judgement in hearing “looking weak???” You don’t like anyone seeing you vulnerable or having low moments you want to always be Beyoncé I woke up like this flawless, but hunny, the flawlessness comes from the flaws, perfection IS imperfection, what’s “wrong” about you, is what makes you right so be you always, regardless of the vibe high or low be you show you, loudly! Take the mask off and I’m hearing porcelain skin?? Don’t trip on appearing perfect, just be yourself or for some of you focus on figuring out who that is! Your last card is NEED RESCUING. This again is giving me the vibe of the previous card of not knowing yourself, or atleast trying to portray perfection. You don’t have to be perfect to find love you don’t need to sit around and pray that it falls into your lap, if you want love GO LOOK FOR IT! If you like someone shoot your shot, make your move, they feel like you’re waiting around for love to save you and they only feel you’re way more powerful than that, you go look for what you want and you don’t have to approach you can just put yourself out there, show the world that you’re ready for love.
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Pile II
Aww my overly romantic pile I’m feeling. Your bottom of the Decc card is Love’s The Answer. So for you guys what’s bloccin you guys from romantic love is that you think it’s the answer for everything, I think you feel if you have a partner, Spouse, even a sneaky link you’ll feel complete, there’s only dependence in you at this time and you need to focus and work on being independent and self reliant cos SELF LOVE is the answer and the Only Answer at this time!! Your guides are reminding you that love won’t solve ALL your problems, I feel you’ll meet someone when you’re not looking for it, when YOU ARE IN YOUR ELEMENT! You honestly don’t need anyone but yourself to feel whole and complete, love isn’t the answer to the problems right now you want romantic love first then love yourself with all you got, you deserve too! show the world how to treat you by treating yourself that way! I also think right now ROMANCE isn’t in the cards for you, I think you need to be working on your independence right now, a glow up is in the cards for you and that’s sort of bloccin you from love overall I think. Your first card is Unavailable. Are you only interested in people who seem to not want a relationship right now, or that is taken themselves? I’m seeing one of the things bloccin you from romantic love is that you re only chasing people that are unavailable in some way shape or form. The funny thing is SOME OF YOU ARE THE UNAVAILABLE ONES! Some of you run away from romantic opportunities that come your way, someone can be flirting with you and you’ll find some way to push them away or run away, do you ghost people? I feel like you chase unavailable because you lowkey want it to fail, I just feel like you self sabotage yourself, you’re bloccin your own way to romance. Your next card is Too Hard. Your mind is your biggest enemy when it comes to love, I feel like you have a lot of fear when it comes to love and I’m hearing that’s it’s something about your childhood, love was hard or you seeen that those around you made it hella hard so you maybe have a mindset that love is hard or has to be to work & nah!!! Your guides want you to know that love doesn’t have to be hard to have or to find, you just have to truly allow it to flow into your life and allow the vibe to be! Just flow and glow that’s what I’m hearing, just keep swimming, just keep swimming! I’m hearing dory! Your guides don’t want you to give up but they do want you to focus on your independence cos I’m seeing that your mentality about romance needs to be unlearned and that’s where you need to work on your independence because I feel that’s going to ease your mind & heart, it’ll help love flow into your life naturally and easily I think you’re overthinking and overwhelmed about love but I honestly don’t think you know what you want in a relationship. Your guides say you just do you and the rest will follow. Your last card is, Being Needy. You have the mentality of I need it I need it I need it this to me is an iteration of the bottom card, you don’t need love to feel whole! also I feel like you may also be super needy in a relationship, hence why working on your independence is key for you to find love! It’s hella fuccin KEY 🔑! Don’t worry about finding it you’ve got some success made just for you! It’s time for you to have your spotlight, figure out what you need for you and I feel like they said (Your guides) the rest will follow! Hang out with friends and appreciate the NON romantic relationships that you have, take some pressure off your own mind and the thoughts of romance. 💘 you need a break I’m seeing, you blocc yourself from romance because your mind doesn’t recognize it so you run away, focus on you, love will knocc you off your feet literally I’m seeing that!
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Pile III
This is my shy pile, nonchalant, detached emotional babies. Your bottom of the Decc card is Hiding Feelings. Ok my babies you blocc romance by not being upfront and open about your feelings, you may lead the ones you like or that like you to feel you don’t like them bacc. You may also be scared of rejection so you hide your emotions from the ones you’re interested in, but your guides are pushing you to open up about how you feel and deal with the feelings of them regardless if they like you bacc or not, I feel like hiding in the shadows won’t bring you love and it won’t make the ones you want want you, I’m hearing you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, so I’m feeling like you need to be brave. Your first card is Fear Of Loss. Again p3 you’re afraid of getting hurt so it’s like you’d rather not even waste your time even attempting to try, I feel the same way about this but you have got to understand that you’re gonna get hurt and not every swing is gonna be a hit you know. You are being urged to take a chance to take that risk, you are ready, you maybe talking to someone or there’s someone in your life you may like, you’re afraid of being abandoned which I get but that’s bloccin you from finding romantic love. Abandonment issues are huge in this pile. This gives me 8oC energy for some reason. Your Next Card is Insecurities. This shit is all put together and in your face this reading may be the shortest, I feel your insecurities and how you see yourself is bloccin you from love, there’s a lot of fear surrounding love this makes me feel like a lot of you been alone for a while or have never been in a relationship before (me either) hmm this may be my pile. I feel like again you may feel like someone may leave you or deny you if they see you so you’d rather be alone or just hide your emotions but I feel you’re so loveable and anyone who is for you will love ALL OF YOU! you need to work on building your confidence up, so that you can feel safe and secure in your relationship because I feel you’ll end it or push them away because of this you shouldn’t deny the other person a gem like you because of the chance that it MAY NOT WORK, even if it doesn’t that one relationship isn’t the end, you don’t ever have to hide your heart and soul cos that’s your compass to romantic love as well, work on your confidence and your shine will be a beacon for romantic love. You’re a runner for sure, that makes you feel uneasy, settling down or staying grounded and it can be because you’re not used to it or it never lasts but you’ll find some permanent ground with another cos I feel this is one of the only piles that has mastered INDEPENDENCE! You can be alone! Now we have to get you to be interdependent leaning on others as well as relying on yourself. We get it, you got you! I feel like you’re the type to be like nobody got me like I got me, I’ll never betray me or leave me, I feel you’ve had mo choice but to depend on you so you’re kind of stucc in your ways. Your last card is Body Shame. Again!!! Insecurities coming out, I feel like it’s both sides whether you feel you’re too big, too small, too fit, not fit enough, you don’t see yourself as beautiful or as handsome as you are and maybe you were bullied this is why I feel like this is my shy reserved babies you’ve been in the shadows you’re the baddies that work in the library nobody notices cos you got glasses on. You need to embrace who you are and be more confident in you, if they like you bacc lucky them they won, if they don’t fucc em they lost and you need to gain that mentality cos I know we all know you gon be alright on your own hunny don’t nobody got to even worry about that but that’s lowkey bloccin you from love. You feel unattractive atleast to the ones you want you need to accept yourself, ALL OF YOU! You’re perfection don’t forget that p3 don’t mf forget that!
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ALRIGHTY TIGHTY BABIES IMMA NEED YOU GUYS TO GET YOUR INTUITION UP AND RUNNING FOR ME, imma pull a card for myself and give myself a reading on the same topic since im single too!!!
2 cards came out bacc to bacc so imma just flow with it, the bottom of the decc for me is Past Trauma. There’s some hurt from my past that I feel is bloccin me from romantic love cos there’s a part of me that can’t see past it, regardless if it’s a relationship trauma or something else there’s some pain there that’s keeping my heart closed from romantic love and I just may feel like it’s not worth it, or attempting to try. I need to definitely take time for me and heal my trauma before moving forward and thinking about romantic love. My first card is TOO MUCH. I feel like I’m too open, and in that sense maybe too allowing of my energy and that can invite some negative energies in, now I’m not gonna say being too honest is a problem but there’s some things I need to hold bacc and keep to myself, I tell others too much about me, all at once, it’s like this is who I am take it or leave it and my guides are like before I give my all makes sure they are worth it kicc bacc and allow them to show who they are before giving them all of me. The final card is Holding On. Again this is a reiteration of the BOD card, there’s some shit that I’m holding on too and I’m hearing it’s out of paranoia, you got me once you’ll never get me again mentality and it’s like not everyone is out to get me or hurt me or something negative and I need to allow myself to let go. Also I can be holding onto someone that need to go in my life cos this card is about starting over with someone new after cutting old ties, which is making me feel like I need to cut my old patterns and ways of thinking but again due to past trauma I need to take some time out to heal and focus on releasing things, people, and feelings that serve no more purpose.
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Let me know what you think in the comments.
I hope you guys enjoyed the reading and that it resonated for you guys, 😘😘😘😘😘
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littlemissmanga · 2 days ago
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Unwind With Me
Pairing: Crosshair x (gn)Reader
W/C: 538
Summary: You're at your limit with your job. But luckily, Crosshair is an unlikely source of comfort.
Warnings: Some talk of work stress, but the focus is on the very indulgent comfort.
A/N: HELLO TUMBLR!!
It has been a long time since I posted, but I am finally writing again. Thank you for your patience. And I'll ask for a little more. I'm writing again, but I am taking things slow to avoid overextending myself.
So I figure I'd start with a warm, comforting Crosshair fic. This was what I fixated on to get over my own work stress this week. So I hope you find it helpful, too!
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It's been a long day.
No, it's been a long year.
Just a million different moments spread across each day that began to stockpile in the pit of your stomach. Stress building like bile until the thought of another rotation made you nauseous.
"Just quit."
The voice may have been rough, the tone dismissive. But you knew Crosshair only said it out of concern.
You could see it in the way he hovered. Hear it in the gruff clearing of his throat as he refilled your water again and again.
He didn't like problems he couldn't solve. And your toxic job was top of that list.
"You know why I can't, Cross," you sigh as you settle further into the couch. Your apartment was small, but you do what you can to make it cozy. Usually. Lately you've slacked when tidying up. Another worry for the pile.
"Excuses."
He tosses the towel used to dry the dishes from dinner before joining you. Without asking, he pulls you from your nest into his lap as he moves to take your seat.
The moment his arms lock around you, your body melts. Not fully. Not enough to fix anything. But just enough to take the edge of.
Somehow, that is sweeter than anything else you could imagine right now.
"No, it's reality. I pull in a decent paycheck and I'll never be fired. Those are invaluable benefits. Besides, every job has office politics and dumbasses in charge."
He huffs and tucks your head under his chin, curling around you. You're so glad he finally got over himself and let you get close. Crosshair was so touch starved his craving for physical reassurance was higher than yours.
Thank goodness, too. It was selfish, but knowing he needed you even when you felt like such a failure gives you strength.
"You're hurting yourself," he rasps.
"I can take it." Your voice doesn't waiver, but a current of uncertainty shocks you. You can ... but it leaves you so tired. You feel like a shell of yourself most days.
"You're strong. But you don't gotta prove it."
You feel his lips brush against your hair. He liked burying his face into you. It made you smile every time. You return the favor, shifting in his arms to press into his chest.
"Nothing to do about it now. Just ..." You trail off and press a kiss to his collarbone. "Can we just say like this until I feel better?"
He doesn't answer you. Crosshair only reaches over to grab the remote for the holoprojector.
He puts on your latest favorite drama. Something to get swept away watching. Something perfectly distracting to occupy your mind as the soft warmth of Crosshair's body against your own relaxed your muscles.
Eventually, you feel yourself begin to drift off. You resist, unwilling to sacrifice any time with Cross before he has to leave again. But you can't fight the overwhelm of comfort he brings you. And he wouldn't want you to.
You're lucky enough to feel his cool lips press against your forehead before sleep claims you.
No matter what you have to face tomorrow, you know his warmth will be there to welcome you home after.
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Taglist: @dreamie411 @wings-and-beskar @starrylothcat @sev-on-kamino @wolffegirlsunite
@secondaryrealm @idontgetanysleep @multi-fan-dom-madness @dystopicjumpsuit @sinfulsalutations
@sunshinesdaydream @wizardofrozz @anxiouspineapple99 @dhawerdaverd @mythical_illustrator
Check out my masterlist here.
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violant-apologia · 6 hours ago
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the FL MtG cards are here!
this is like my fourth batch, but i haven't posted any of the previous ones, so let me show off some of the cards from all the batches!
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briar and his three mr stoneses! these are the face commanders of the deck. there are alternate commanders that you'll see later, but this is the pair that i like using the most often.
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more masters! (and bazaar-aligned entities). all the masters in the deck are vampires, and they also all have the seal of the bazaar as a watermark. just a neat bit of visual clarity, i think!
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ocs! incuding mine. not all of them will be able to make it into the deck proper (for deck size and colour identity reasons) but i'm still so happy to have them all.
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basic lands: seven of each. these gave me so much hassle back when i made them, but i think they turned out well!!! apart from the edge mountains which are like 70% black.
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more lands! a triplet of creatureland which i feel work very well. the rest of them are neat too. whenever i say i have an underground sea proxy in the deck, people give me a Look, but how could i not! it's a perfect fit.
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dfcs! the frames of these all had to be done by hand, which always took a while. i still think they turned out incredibly well, all things considered.
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more creatures!! some legendary, some not. i made the decision pretty early that if i represent a named character with a nonlegendary card, i'd just cut the "the" from the name (see sallow spirifer and voracious diplomat). i think it works!
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and noncreatures!! there's a vague treasure theme in the deck (as can be seen in the fall of london, revel in riches and spirifage (as well as a lot of the creatures)) but honestly most of the cards are flavour picks. still, artificial evolution has gotten me out of some jams. fun card!
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aaaand tokens! which is everything. i reckon when i play this deck properly, i'll report back any fun scrapes that anyone's characters get into. like getting turned into a bug, or killing the god of death.
again, thank everyone who contributed OCs or art to this project. i'm very happy to have so many flumblr characters appear in the deck. all of the cards have art credits on them, but some probably aren't visible in the photos. so for proper credits (and as a ping list) i've included a list below the cut:
@alexis-royce: The Ex-Disgraced Academic; Mr Pages; Mr Stones (x2); New Blood. @anomalouscorvid: Darcy, the Appalling Artist; Furnace Ancona; Mr Transport; May, the Merry Gentleman; The Seventh Coil. @capn-twitchery: Captain Twitchery Lazaret. @ciriparipa: Mr Sacks. @dualclock: Oswald, the Decadent Parvenu. elena-illustration: M. Melchor. @esteemed-excellency: Haunted One; Hiram Hargrave. @feivelynartvelyn: Black Ribbon Duellist; The Carnelian Exile; The Grand Geode; London Ascends to the Stars; Thopter Token; Voracious Diplomat. u/Galvatyr: Poor Edward. @hells-dear-heart: Isidore Carter. @letters-of-fire: Boots the Cat; Giorgione, Crooked-Cross. @madame-butterfly-knife: Inessa Fonseca, Lyon. @milleart: Snuffer. @mledoesart: Mr Eaten. @oneirotecture: Warden, Scarred Silverer. @pinchbees: Merry Darthfellow. Sarah Warrington: Orsino Elderwood. @shazzbaa: Griz, the Efficient Commissioner; Mr Fires; Stargaze; Tragic Slip; Virginia, Lord Mayor of London. @sorrow2art: Cardiac Echoes, Spymaster. StagyTryout: The Avid Horizon @sunlessveils: Parabolan Kitten. @tears-n-tarot: Charlie and Artemis Burnet-Lin.@the-insouciant-scientist: Briar Hathaway, the Apologist; Mr Stones; Noman. @the-masterless-press: Betty Horvat, Pugilist. @the-noted-collector: Endemannus Korabl'nikov. @thedeafprophet: Elias Leroux; Harper Faraday. @thegreatyin: The Bandaged Scoundrel. @thunder-threnodies: Captain Francis Morgan Dargor. @torturingpeople: Edison, the Sybaritic Laureate; The Tender Pathologist. @velvetlinedbox: Doe, Waterlogged Detective. @viric-dreams: The Boil of Calamities; Drown in Dreams; Horiatio Digby; The Six Finger'd Scrimshander. @waterlogged-detective: Brett Heroux, Dandy Detective; Marian, Prickly Bluejacket; Namkuzu, Avaricious Meddler. @yuuuyang: Sigil-Ridden Navigator; Storm, God of the Roof; The Woods in Winter. @zeebreezin: August Shaw, the Black Rook.
and @failbettergames: Arcane Signet; Artificial Evolution; Beseech the Queen; Betty Horvat, Pugilist (bg); Black Market; Blood Token; The Cave of the Nadir; Censor; The Chapel of Lights; Clothes-Colony; Clue Token; Copy Token; Darkness; The Dawn Machine; Dreamscape Artist; The Echo Bazaar; The Fall of London; Flood of Tears; Food Token; Hecuba, Doomed Obliterator; Hideaway; Hillchanger Tower; The Horticultural Show; The House of Chimes; The Implacable Detective; Inessa Fonseca, Lyon (bg); The Irrepressible Heiress; Island (x7); Jack-of-Smiles; Khan's Heart; Laughable Reconstruction; Miniature Hellworm; Mountain (x7); The Mountain of Light; Mr Chimes; Perigee of Silver; The Prismatic Dowager; Probably a Coincidence; Revel in Riches; Rise and Shine; Road // Ruin; Sallow Spirifer; Salt, God of the East; The Scuttering Company; Shapeshifter Token; Spider-Council; Spirifage; Stone, God of the South; Swamp (x7); Treasure Token (x2); Underground Sea; Venderbight.
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rrezshifts · 2 days ago
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𝓻𝙚𝙖𝖑𝙞𝙩i𝙚𝙨 𝙞’d 𝙡o𝙫𝙚 t𝙤 𝙛𝙞n𝙙
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this is a list of realities i compiled from three lovely people’s dr ideas posts: ellysdreamworldd, deminetly, & lalalian. this post is a way for me to clear out my likes without having to keep track of the realities i’m interested in shifting to in a notebook i’ll lose or forget about . . .
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a retro high school/college reality. this could be a reality from any decade where retro still fits. the original poster wrote 70s-00s. i feel like i partly already have this with my twilight reality, it’s set in the early 2000s. but it’s definitely something i could be interested in shifting to outside of that reality
2000s victoria’s secret angel reality. see this is weird because i am a trans man. and like . . . the parts of my body that are inherently feminine and ideal for an angel, i don’t like. however, it can be what i like so put my ideal masculine but twinkish form in some lingerie and call it a day!!
professional tourist reality. a reality where i have all the money in the world and travel the world with no responsibilities seems SO fun! but like an ideal and bigotry free world. and also i get to bring someone with me!!
vampire reality. tbh i already have a few of those . . . but i’m not in love with them. that and they’re from pre-existing media, and i want one that i can really play with and make my own and just fall in love with my own mind and life through it, yk??
royalty reality. this could be so so incredibly fun. but i fear the way i view and picture a royalty reality in my mind at the moment . . . it’s off putting. i’d need a new perspective to look at these type of realities from before trying any world building or i may genuinely give up immediately
summer camp reality. as the counselors of course. like imagine being a counselor with other hot people your age and just bouncing from counselor to counselor all summer as we all sneak around camp after curfew and just go crazy!! though i technically have a reality like this already . . . my the quarry reality is basically this because i removed all the horror game elements. i should think about it more though for sure, that why i put it here
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mermaid reality. like genuinely the way the original poster described it as a the little mermaid kind of romance plot almost makes me not scared of the deep ocean aspect of this reality. but i love marine biology and marine animals so like i would realistically love this too. this is another one though, that i would need a perspective shift because right now the idea of this reality is off putting to me as well
magic university reality. quite literally just hogwarts in my marauders reality. but i haven’t scripted shit and i need to get on it. so i’m adding it in hopes that’ll change. it won’t lol
small town shop owner reality. the original poster said it was a flower shop. but the idea of it being like a small business of my choice, for example a metaphysical shop, and falling in love with the small business next door’s owner?? bonus points if it’s a tattoo artist i fall for, because why can’t fanfic tropes come to life!!
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planetary romance reality. described as exploration of different planets with romance specifically with aliens. and you know what . . . i’m not gonna lie. the romance with aliens is what sold me!! call me what you want! (it’ll probably be true) but this genuinely seems like such a fun reality to get to workshop!!
eco-metamorphosis reality. described as a world being colonized by aliens but instead of rejecting them you welcome them with open arms. and i was thinking this could be so fun to imagine a world that has coexisted with aliens for generations now, a good many years after, and how that looks and what daily life would be like
that’s all of them!! please look at their posts if you liked any of these and want to see what else they have shared!! i’ll tag them here so they know i used their posts for a sort of form of content @ellysdreamworldd , @deminetly & @lalalian !! thank you for the great ideas 🙏
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Note
It's been a while, idk if your still writing for RWBY but if you are can I ask for 5 ships reactions to Jaune getting a tattoo over his crotch reading "Property of" with their full names
I will likely always be writing for RWBY. It is what got me into actually writing and posting real content online, or at least the courage to finally start after dreaming to do it for years.
Since you didn't specify, the five RWBY girls I used were picked using a random spinner app with a list of all the RWBY girls.
Emerald Sustrai
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Emerald stared wide eyed at the green text print on her (recently agreed upon) boyfriend, right on his pelvis, just above his crotch. When he said that he had a surprise for her and started undoing his buckle, she rolled her eyes at the cheesy as hell way to start some foreplay.
Not that she wasn't ready to go along with it. He had whipped up a great dinner for them tonight and she was quickly realizing that she loved a man that could cook.
She was not expecting to see him show off a tattoo. And not one with her name on it. "What do you think?"
She wasn't too sure what she thought about it, but definitely knew what she wanted to ask. "Wow... it looks... good. My emblem is a nice touch I guess. But ummm... why did you even get it?"
Jaune let go of the hem of his shirt that he'd been holding out of the way, partially covering the tattoo. "W-well... When we talked about our pasts a while ago... you said you never really had or owned anything for yourself." Emerald didn't need that being brought up again, it was awkward enough talking about it with him the first time. She quickly just agreed with a sharp nod, not wanting to deal with it all over again now. "Well... I thought now... you could at least own... me. That you'll always have me?"
Oh.
Oh damn...
He could have definitely tried to sound more confident when saying that... but damn if that line didn't do things to Emerald. Both making her cheeks flush and her heart race.
And also getting her very turned on.
"You are getting so much ass tonight."
"W-what?!"
Emerald sashayed her way over to her blushing dork, her ass swaying side to side. "Use your semblance on me. Then you're going to find out just how much that ink of yours is going to pay off."
Jaune's earlier surprise was quickly being replaced by excitement. But he was still a little confused, which persisted even as Emerald reached him and lifted up his shirt with one of her nimble hands. But he was still confused. "Why do you want me to use my semblance on you?"
Emerald lifted her knee up between his legs to gently rub his crotch. "Because I want to make sure I can last all night with you~"
"O-oh."
"Yup. Now, boost me up and dick me down you mushy goofball~."
Emerald jumped up and let herself be caught by Jaune, his hands gripping onto her ass through her shorts and giving them each plump cheek a squeeze. Emerald wrapped her legs around him and kissed him as deeply as she could before he carried her off to the nearest bedroom, his hands and her body starting to faintly glow white and green as the door shut behind them.
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May Zedong
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“W-what is that!?” May felt her cheeks heat up with embarrassment when Jaune first started to lift up his shirt and pull his jeans down a bit. No matter how much she and him saw each other naked before, she still couldn't help but get bashful. However, when she saw the writing printed on his... very defined abs, her face went from warm to burning.
Jaune seemed to be catching some of her embarrassment since “W-well it’s a tattoo…”
May whined while she lifted up the collar of her jacket and the bottom of her beanie down, trying her best to hide her redding face from her boyfriend. "I know that! But why does it say that y-you're.... Why does it say THAT!?"
Jaune let his shirt drop, covering the tattoo again. "Well I-I heard about what those girls from Vacuo picking on you, and about what they said. And I just wanted to do something for you to make you feel better..."
"Why do you think this would make me feel better!?"
"B-because they said no one would... love you... and all that other stuff. W-well they're wrong! And this proves it! I-I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help you with those bullies at the time, but I got this to show you that I'll always be there for you in the end."
Now that stunned May, so much so that the blood receded from her face quickly and her jaw went a little slack. She stopped trying to hide her face, and looked at Jaune's. While his cheeks were very red, his eyes met hers and she saw the determination in them, meaning every word he said.
"C-can I see it again?"
Without hesitation or any question, Jaune lifted the bottom of his hoodie up again to show her the tattoo. A goofy smile dawned on his lips again.
...
May slowly walked forwards to him. When she was close enough, she slowly started to trace the inked skin with her index finger. Then she placed her hand on his abdomen, her thumb still rubbing the image of a hat in the corner, a hat that was nearly identical to her own signature beanie. "I-I like that it has my beanie... it's a really nice touch."
"S-so you like it?"
May slowly nodded, letting out a low, "Mmm-hmm", confirming that she did indeed like her boyfriend's tattoo. And it was certainly no lie.
"Eeep!"
Nor was it a lie to say that the squeak that she let out when Jaune suddenly hugged her wasn't adorable.
Jaune spun her around twice before placing her feet back on the ground. "I'm happy you like May! I really hoped you would. I just wanted to show you that I'll always be yours... because I love you."
May hugged Jaune back for a moment, only to pull back and plant a kiss on his smiling lips before flashing a rarely seen bright smile. "...I love you too, Jaune."
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Blake Belladonna
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"B-Blake? Are you okay."
Jaune's worried tone and question fell deft on two sets of ears, not that he really needed an answer. For Blake was certainly not okay... Her increasingly heavy panting and dilated eyes were a clear indicator of that fact. She didn't even bother trying to hide it because she thought her response was very justified!
Her boyfriend decided he wanted to surprise her in her room after a lovely date, so after waiting a decent amount of time to let him 'get ready', she walked in on him laying shirtless on their bed, with one of her favorite books placed on his toned abdominal muscles. She rolled her eyes at him at first, but it was only when she playfully snatched the book off his stomach for them to get the most fun part of the night started did she realize what his real surprise was.
Her name, tattooed a few inches above his crotch. And clearly listing him as her property...
Dust and Brother gods alike... that was so freaking hot. It was something she had never known she needed to see up to this point. Something so simple, yet unlocking something deep within Blake's mind and body. Something primal... lustful. And now that she had seen it, she knew what she wanted next.
Jaune yelped as Blake literally pounced onto the bed, landing above him and silencing his surprised noise with a kiss. A deep kiss. A VERY deep kiss. Her tongue wrestling with his, and trading their saliva while doing so, absolutely caught Jaune by surprise.
And he was just as surprised when she pulled away, their tongues still extended since they had been mid-kiss.
Blake looked down at Jaune, panting and blushing heavily. "This means you're mine now, Jaune. And I plan to enjoy every part of you tonight~."
"O-okay."
Blake ground her hips back and forth against Jaune's, getting some pleasurable friction between them and both moaning as she went over her growing erection in his pants. "I'm starting on top tonight. Does that sound good?"
Blake grinned as Jaune nodded to her, placing his hands on her thighs to keep her where she was. She reached behind her and unzipped her top. She wanted to waste no more time getting on with a very fun night with her, now very much marked, man~.
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Robyn Hill (was bit of a new challenge writing for her)
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"I-I thought I should show you m-my support..."
“So you got… a tattoo?"
"Y-yeah..."
"Of my name!?
"...yes..." Jaune nodded, slowly lowering his hoodie and shirt back down to cover his belly button and the green ink below it again.
"But if you wanted to show support for me, why did you get it down there?!”
He winced the smallest bit as Robyn raised her voice at him a little. “W-well… you seemed kinda… j-jealous when all of those moms of the kids I was a crossing guard for were flirting with me at your rallies… despite me telling them I was taken!” Jaune added the last part quickly when he saw Robyn’s gaze narrow when he brought up those hussies…
“So I… thought that this would be nice and I-I wanted to show you that... well... you're the only one that gets to see this part of me..."
Robyn was very silent, standing with her arms crossed and staring at him with a raised eyebrow. She was honestly having a hard time believing that he had really done something like this. He had seemed like such an innocent goodie two shoes when she met him. But… he did suggest stealing an Atlesian airship to get to Mantle in the first place… AND had asked her out in the first place… honestly, all things considered...
Robyn smiled as she uncrossed her arms and slowly walked towards Jaune. "Well... I do like seeing my name printed out."
"You do? Awesome! I'm so glad. I was worried tha- Mmmmh!"
Jaune was cut off as Robyn quickly grabbed him by the top of his chestplate and pulled him towards her. Her lips captured his own in a passionate kiss. One she was very much in control of. She had her fun for a few seconds before pushing Jaune back so they could both take a breath.
Jaune also took the break in the kiss to give a goofy smile. “That… that was nice…”
Robyn chuckled to herself, her grip on Jaune not letting go. “Yes, it was~. Now… How about I get through this rally quickly and then we go somewhere private where I can show you how much I appreciate your support~? Somewhere I can admire that tattoo fully while I sit comfortably on that face of yours~? Does that sound like a good idea to you Mr. Strategist?”
“Y-yes! S-sounds great actually!”
Robyn licked her lips and grinned as her hand grabbing Jaune's chestplate glowed green.
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Bleiss Gele
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Bleiss was nearly drooling when she saw her darling lift up his shirt to show off those dust shredding abs of his. But when she saw what it was he exactly wanted to show her, she nearly fainted from pure excitement and blood loss from a nosebleed.
It was her name! Right below her darling’s defined abs! It was all she could ever have dreamed about and more! This was amazing! No more skanks or bimbos trying to steal her man! Or they could try, but he has proof of her claim now!
“Oh darling, it's wonderful!” Bleiss squealed in joy as she jumped into Jaune’s arms. Jaune, being quick to drop the bottom of his hoodie he was holding up, caught her easily with his arms around her. The only trouble he had holding her up was from how much she was kicking her legs in joy. Her giggling was also so infectious that Jaune couldn’t help but chuckle as well.
“I guess you like it, huh?” Jaune slowly lowered his girlfriend back to the ground, but still kept her close in a hug. Mainly because Bleiss was still trying to squeeze the air out of him.
“Like it?! I love it! You know me so well darling!” If it was possible, her hug on him got even tighter. “I love that you are happy to show me off as your future wife like that!” Bleiss ended her sentence by nuzzling her head into Jaune’s chest.
“Hehe… well… I’m glad you like it.”
“I really do! And it’s even better because we match now!”
“...what?”
Bleiss’ wide smile shifted into a knowing smirk as she let go of Jaune finally and stepped back a small distance. “Guess it’s time for my surprise now darling~!” She turned around and flicked up her skirt, revealing something that made Jaune’s eyes widen and his jaw drop.
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On her right cheek was her own tattoo. One quite similar to the one that he had gotten for her. And the yellow ink reading out his name over the Arc family emblem was very noticeable on her pale rear. 
Bleiss looked over her shoulder at Jaune, smirking confidently. “What do ya think~?
Jaune couldn’t respond. His jaw was still slack and his eyes were wider than dinner plates. He was having trouble looking away from such a sight. But the lower half of his body was very telling instead.
And Bleiss was happy to accept that version of approval. But she wasn’t done there either. With a shake of her ass, she asked ‘innocently’, “Hey darling, want to see if we can make our ink touch~?”
I didn't really know which version of Bliess's last name, so I picked Gele as that makes the most sense of what she'd like to be called being the (literal) black sheep of the family. She'd prefer to go by her mother's name and Jaune would absolutely respect that.
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kingtomura · 1 day ago
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Vitality | 6
Summary: You were always told heroes and villains had no place in your home. Not when there’s an increase in crime, not when there’s monsters on the loose in Hosu and certainly not when the man in your home raises a hand to you. All it takes is one impulsive decision to change your life forever. content: shigaraki tomura x female reader, slow burn, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, reader has a quirk, graphic depictions of violence, past abuse, past sa, angst, pstd, eventual smut, dark themes, found family LoV, mdni wc: 6.2k | prev | chapter 7 | m. list | read on ao3
Three. 
That’s how many people died on the mission with Dabi. Three people lost their lives because they challenged the League of Villains and they paid for it. 
But the worst part of all is not the fact that your nose still holds the putrid smell of charred flesh, it’s not even that this trip has given you more insight on the Cremation Villain himself. 
No, the worst part of it all is that you feel stronger. 
You feel as though you could take on anything — like you finally had a chance to take your power back. 
Dabi was right when he said it’s you or them. 
That phrase had been thrown at you over and over again in the past by your father and only now had it clicked in your mind.
You were finally in a space to do something about it.
And you had support. 
Dabi may not be the friendliest of the League, but you know now that there is more than meets the eye when it comes to the distant villain.  
So instead of a baseless fear, there is a newfound respect for the man, and it stays with you even through his snarky remarks and flippant exits from the base.
Those same thoughts are expressed in the mission recap you give to Shigaraki.  
You’ve both found yourselves back into the rhythm of the roof. A quiet pocket away from the world. 
“But there were three of them, and the one with the illusion quirk — I’ve never seen anything like it.” You go on, words falling from your tongue as you recall the recent experience. The blaze of Dabi’s flames left phantom tingles in your fingers and you bring a hand up to gaze at it.
Shigaraki is quiet as he listens on, taking a sip from his fizzy drink. 
(Toga swore she couldn't find his usual sugar filled soda and now he’s stuck with a rosy pink drink and not nearly enough caffeine.) 
There's a warmth that spreads throughout your chest as you bring your hand back down.
You missed it out here, even if the mission had only been a few days long.  
“So,” Shigaraki’s low voice starts, capturing your attention at once, “there were no problems?”
“Hm,” you look to the night sky and then back to your hand, memories flooding your mind as your shoulders drag a slow shrug, “not entirely. Things got a little tense at one point when they got me, though.”
“Got you?” He echoes, surprise in his voice so slight it goes unnoticed.
You continue on, “Yeah, I thought it was over for me. The illusion quirk was trickier than I anticipated and the paralysis quirk was dangerous.” 
Shigaraki brings a hand to his neck, the light scratching raising no alarms as you think back to your trip, almost excited to tell him how you finally stood up for yourself and did something about your situation. 
“But the paralysis only worked because he touched me, and—“ 
“Someone touched you?” His tone held a tension so tight it made your words stall.
“Yeah, but Dabi, he—”
“Why were you on the front lines?” Shigaraki cuts you off, voice as sharp as the nails that rake across his neck. 
The hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you quickly find yourself slipping into dangerous territory, unsure if your next answer would be one to put you on the chopping block.
There’s a pit in your stomach beginning to form as you wet your lips. 
This anxiety, it’s all too close to home. 
You try to still your thoughts and answer in a way that would salvage this situation, “Well, it was because of Dabi, but he saved me—!”
Shigaraki doesn’t want to hear it. 
“He could have gotten you killed.” 
Or worse, your breath hitches at the thought. It hangs in your mind, trailing behind his words. 
Yes, you could have been killed but the reality is much, much worse. 
But you can’t bring yourself to say it. 
Not aloud. 
Not to Shigaraki. 
“Reckless,” he mutters, more so to himself than to you, “we don’t need to take risks like that so soon.”
His rambles fade into the night as your mind races at what could have been, the light touches and mocking jeers pulling your attention from reality.
Shigaraki’s next words are the only thing to pull you back to shore. 
“No more missions.”
Your eyes snap to him. “What?”
“It’s too much of a liability. We need a healer here, at the base — alive.”
You stare at him, dumbfounded that your leader has, in so many words, grounded you.
“But, Shigaraki—” You go to complain but he’s heard enough.
Your leader stands and makes his way to the exit without another word, nails still biting at the skin of his neck and effectively leaving you to sit in the somber company of the whistling wind and city lights. 
————————
For hours on end it’s been a constant stream of punches, kicks and newly formed bruises on skin. 
“You have to hit harder!” Toga calls out to you as her clone gears up to strike at you once more. 
You groan as your fists come up again, dragging with the weight of your exhaustion as her doppelganger licks fresh blood from her knife. She hasn’t backed down once and shows no signs of slowing up. 
There’s nothing more you can do but brace yourself and plant your feet. Even though you were tired, you would be damned if she got the chance to call you out on it. So instead, you put on a brave face and prepare. 
The clone jumps with a speed that rivals the real thing and knocks into you with enough force to send you tumbling to the ground. 
You go down with a yell and channel your energy into coming out on top of her. 
With a bit of force and a lot of focus you manage to do it. Toga’s clone is restrained below you, her soft face clinched in pain as you pin her arm behind her back. 
“Yes, good job, little bird!” Toga calls from her perch, “Now finish it.”
The knife her clone once held has fallen to the ground out of her reach, but well within yours. It should be no problem taking her out. 
Finish it. 
No big deal.
The clone struggles beneath you as your breathing grows heavier, feeling the weight of Toga’s gaze as it pierces your back and makes you sweat.
“C’mon! End it and we can be done for the day.”
There was nothing you wanted more than to be done for the day so you could head back to your room to decompress from this relentless training.
But… 
You hesitate. 
It may have been easy to come out on top with the man from the mission, but this was different. 
Clone or not, it’s too much like her, and Himiko has done nothing but support you.
Her clone looks back at you, and you drop your gaze.
You just can’t do it. 
Your eyes close as you hear Toga’s faint steps along the grass. She finishes the job without a second thought and her doppelganger turns to muck beneath you. 
The substance it was made of clings to your bare knees and palms. 
“What happened?” She questions, standing over your kneeled form and casting a shadow over you and your doubts. 
The clone substance begins to evaporate while your eyes focus on her sleek school shoes that probably haven’t stepped inside an actual school in years. 
“I... I don’t know.” 
“You were able to help Dabi on the mission, weren't you?” Even though you can’t see her face, you can feel her concerned expression from the tone alone. “You’ve taken someone down before.”
“That was different. This one,” you pause, cautious of your next words. “She looks too much like you.”
Silence stretches between you both, loud and uncomfortable as it fills the forest fields with nothing but your awkward vulnerability and her heavy expectations. 
One fact remains the same. 
You are not a villain yet. 
You realize there won’t be a response as the quiet drags. So, out of words and tired, you sigh and flop onto your back. The soft brush of the green grass molds beneath your body as you relax, your exhausted gaze finding the deep blue hue of the sky above. 
There's not many clouds out today.
You hear Toga’s steps above where your head rests as she follows suit to lie down nearby, a calm sigh leaving her lips in the process.
Curiously, you turn your head to the side and take in her relaxed features — her golden eyes closed and cheeks dusted pink as she basks in the sun. 
“Just you wait, little bird,” she coos, catching your attention with a smile spread across her lips.
“Hm?”
“You’ll be free to do whatever you want, you know?” She starts with a yawn and you wonder if she’ll end up napping out here, “Tomura will make sure of that.”
Your eyes wander back to the sky.
She speaks as if she believes it with her whole heart, and expects you to believe too. 
Your eyes catch an airplane cutting through the infinite blue now, leaving its own trail of clouds behind and you watch it fly with placid interest. 
Free, huh…
————————
He shouldn’t care. 
He shouldn’t care and he doesn't care so why was this entire ordeal making his skin itch?
Tomura paces the space of his messy room as the prickly scratching habit makes itself known once more. 
He can’t keep doing this. He can’t keep losing his temper around you. 
Had recent events taught him nothing? He was supposed to be in charge, damn it. 
What would sensei say?
Tomura scoffs at himself. It would probably be something along the lines of, “a mission’s success is more important than the losses taken,” and lucky for Tomura, there were no losses.
But there could have been.
Frustrated, Tomura crashes into his computer chair in a heap as he brings the machine to life. 
He’s quick to pull up a search tab and make sure the various seeds placed for his future endeavors remain planted.
There is a goal to accomplish, a bigger picture and he can’t spend more time than necessary on something as simple as unmanaged feelings. 
No, Tomura needed to grow. Sensei tried to make him aware of that. 
Tomura closes one tab and opens another, typing your name into the search bar and taking note of the results.
Your articles are dwindling. 
Good.
The sooner that false story leaves the eye of the public, the easier it will be for you to move on. 
The sooner you move on, the sooner you’ll be able to reach your full potential. 
The sooner you can do that… the sooner Tomura can stop wasting his precious time on you and your striking familiarity. 
It's beginning to drive him mad. 
Tomura is a leader, but he has no time to play therapist to those with troubled pasts. If that were the case he would have a private venting session with all of his League members.  
He wants everyone to flourish and stand on their own. The operation just works better that way.
But…
That’s easier said than done. 
Tomura leans back in his desk chair and takes a breath.
Dabi finished the job as intended, which means there's no one for him to take this rising frustration out on, and he’s become too high profile for his usual walks. 
The roof was a compromise of sorts. Somewhere he could get fresh air without putting himself at obvious risk, but now—
Damn it, his thoughts cycle back — they always seem to cycle back — to the mystery that you are. 
Tomura taps a finger on the desk as his thoughts run rampant. 
No, he can’t let himself be blinded by curiosity. Especially not if it's going to interfere with his temper. He has to stay focused. 
This isn't only about him now. 
There’s a bigger picture to be revealed. 
He has to take down All Might. 
He has to focus.
Tomura closes the remaining tabs on his computer and shuts the system down.
The last of the lingering light in his room comes from his desk lap and it shines down on a lone scrap of paper resting on his desk.
It’s a polaroid.
One of a blond boy, locked in chains and muzzled like an animal.
The photo catches his eye and Tomura feels the puzzle pieces of the world snap back into place. 
His rampant thoughts cease. 
Yes, it’s best for everyone to find their place here, to flourish and stand on their own. 
The mission before was just a precursor for what he had planned, and with a few more preparations the League could make their next move. 
His sparse brows lift in amusement as he remembers how close his next goal is to fruition. 
This was it. 
With careful fingers he picks up the photo, a wicked smile dancing onto his features as his mind regains its much needed clarity. 
In the League anyone could become what they want to be, and Tomura would be the one to ensure that.
————————
Everything feels humid.
It feels oppressive and stuffy and you can’t breathe. 
Your lips purse as you try to break free of the spell that bound you. There’s no way to know when or how, but you were trapped. 
Your eyes are open, but you can’t see. 
The noises you try to make from your mouth don’t come out, sending you further into a panic. Your limbs try to hit at anything, but feel submerged in jello. There was no way out of this and you couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that if you didn’t do something soon you’d surely suffocate. 
The sounds of muffled laughs and deep voices plague your ears as the unwanted feel of feather light touches dance along your skin. 
Those touches soon turn harsh — hungry and biting for more of you than you could ever hope to give.
Your head starts to spin with the overload of feelings, your mind racing as you continue to fight against this assault.
You wake with a scream.
Out of breath and panting, you grip your cotton shirt, looking around your dark room for any signs of intruders.  
There's no one there with you. The area is still and silent, the only noise to keep you company is the loud ringing in your ears as you try to make sense of what you know realize was a nightmare. 
It’s the dead of night according to the clock on your nightstand. 
Reaching over, you turn on the lamp, it’s dull light doing little to illuminate the space. You make due with it for now, though — thankful as it chases away the rest of the fog from your mind. 
You feel shaken and outside yourself as your eyes dart around the room, your mind wanting to ensure that you are alone to bear the burden of bad dreams. 
You are, and it was just a dream. 
This mantra plays on repeat in your mind as you bury yourself beneath the blankets and try to go back to sleep. 
But it’s no use. 
Every time you close your eyes that sickening feeling claws its way back into your mind, haunting you like a lingering ghost. 
The more you try to close your eyes and forget, the more unsettled you feel.
After countless minutes of tossing and turning bring you no comfort, you give up altogether and sit up, facing the night head on. 
You can’t go back to sleep like this. 
Any other night you would take this as an opportunity to find peace on the roof.
Your hands clench the plush of your blanket, pushing those thoughts away. You haven't been to the roof since that night, and maybe it was better that way. 
Staying out of Shigaraki’s way feels more comfortable and making yourself small feels familiar.
So, rubbing the fast fading sleep from your eyes, you examine the contents of your room, scanning over the growing number of books on your bookshelf to the papers tossed haphazardly across your desk. 
You pause. 
There, sitting atop the desk, is the black gaming system Shigaraki gave you. 
It hadn’t moved an inch since he gifted it to you that night. 
But it wasn’t from lack of interest.
Ever since your conversation with Shigaraki on the roof, the training you had been doing with Toga had tripled to the point where your body ached from the extensive exercise. 
You knew it had been Shigaraki’s doing, but your body was too exhausted to find him and complain about it afterwards. 
Your body was too tired for anything afterwards, even disruptive dreams were rare on those nights. The only thing on your mind had been the ache of your muscles and the warm bath that would follow your rigorous routine. 
You hadn’t dreamt at all. 
The relief of retreating to your welcoming bed was too strong. 
But now that’s changed. 
Toga has left for a mission and you’ve found yourself with more free time on your hands than you would like to admit.  
So, as phantom hands and lingering leers cling to your mind, you stand on shaky legs and reach your desk. 
It’s cold, you note as your fingers brush over the scratched device, picking it up and searching for the power button. Some part of you doubted it held a charge after how long it's been sitting, but the bright white light of the screen startles you as it turns on, its cheerful chime loud in the silence of your bedroom. 
There’s already a game inside. 
A silly humanoid cat creature with a blue cap pops up on screen and you take a seat back on your bed. 
It’s a colorful sidescroller that's not too difficult to get the hang of. 
Getting lost in the game feels easy as you lie back and continue to mash buttons and beat the levels. 
It’s… cute.
And distracting. 
So distracting that you don’t even realize you’d fallen asleep until your eyes flutter open the next morning. 
Days go by and the game has captured your attention more and more.
Toga is still away, and with her absence comes a lull in your tasks. You haven't completely put off training, but the break feels nice. Being strictly a healer comes naturally to you, and beyond that there isn’t much else for you to do. 
The bar upstairs has been a more welcoming area. With its more lively crowd, you have a little more fun being around others instead of your secluded bedroom. 
Shigaraki is in his usual place, slouching on a stool at the far end of the bar, while Kurogiri slides you another glass of the fizzy clear soda you swear you’re not becoming addicted to. 
And you’ve brought the console with you. 
Level after level, you soak in its bright colors, the semi-difficult puzzles and all around fun of the game. 
Until you reach level nineteen. 
You’ve been at it for hours, but the result is the same. Run, jump, kick and fall. Your character falls deep into the digital abyss and you’re stuck looking on as he respawns and bounces idly in place. 
“God damn it.” You curse under your breath as your character dies for the fifth time in a row. You’re left to huff a sigh as you place the system down on the counter and glare at the empty glass of soda before you. 
The game is fun, until it’s not. 
You halfheartedly wonder if all games were this way as Kurogiri notices your frustrations and quietly refills your glass. 
With a quick nod of thanks to the apparition you take the glass, downing the drink and sending your frustrations with it as you come back to reality. 
A quick scan around the bar shows you that there aren’t many people in today, but that’s okay. Sometimes it's nice to just not be alone. And when there’s one too many members present things get… loud.
Your gaze lands back on the game, wearily debating if you should ask your leader for help with it — he gave you the damned thing after all — but you pause. 
Shigaraki is quiet as he flips through a newspaper, completely unbothered by commotion beyond his readings. 
You haven’t spoken since that night, you’ve barely even seen him. 
Your brows furrow as those familiar anxieties begin to rear its ugly head yet again.  
At home you would know if your father had a problem with you. The silent treatment only lasted so long before he would—
No.
You weren’t home anymore. There was nothing coming to get you or hurt you. You take a breath and turn towards your leader.
“Hey, Shigaraki,” it’s hard to be certain from the hand covering his face, but you believe he hears you, “Could you, maybe, help me out with this level? I can’t get past it.”
You try to stop the small tremble as you hold the small console out to him, half expecting him to completely ignore you like he ignores the racket around him.
But he doesn’t. 
Shigaraki turns his head, eyeing the game and then looking back at you. 
He reaches out, taking the system. His gentle touch surprises you as his careful fingers grip the system with a care only years of mandatory practice could cultivate. Those dangerous hands were free from the confids of his partial gloves, and you suspect that he prefers it that way. 
They’re weapons and with his lifestyle it’s best to be ready for anything. 
(You will yourself not to think of the implications your rooftop nights have — the nights where he is gloved and unguarded.)
It takes him no time to sink into the game, a soft tsk as he seems to find exactly where you went wrong. 
“Here,” he hands it back to you, mindful not to brush his fingers against yours. “There was a platform above the hole. You had to jump at a certain angle to see it.”
The character on the screen cheers as he completes the level, but you remain stuck in place, unsure what to say besides a muttered thank you. 
Somewhere inside you almost wish you had more to say.
Nightfall comes and the other members begin to clear out, but Shigaraki remains. 
You debate retiring to your chambers as well, silently dreading the gray walls that await you. 
The faint sounds of glass clinking meets your ears as Kurogiri puts cups away, fully absorbed in his task of shutting down the bar. 
You move to stand, knowing you were better off heading to your room than the roof, better off heading to bed where your nightmares will undoubtedly chase you awake once more. 
But… 
No, you shake the thoughts from your mind. 
You have the game. It shouldn't be a problem to play until you fall asleep.
The chill is the first thing to greet you as you open the door to your bedroom. 
The silence is next.
A sigh leaves you as you make your way over to the bed, tossing the game onto your bedside table and allowing yourself to fall into the sheets. 
No matter how much you try and fight the feelings they just won't go away. 
You can’t deny it. 
You miss the roof.
And even more, you miss gazing out at the city and you miss not being alone.
Silent nights with Shigaraki were… nice. Peaceful. The most peace you had gotten in a long time.
It takes a moment but you sit up, knowing sleep wouldn’t find you anytime soon. 
Even if your leader wasn’t on the roof tonight, you could at least get some fresh air. It’s an easy option, you convince yourself as you grab the extra blanket Kurogiri gave you during your first week here. 
You push down the worry clouding your mind and leave the desolate place you call your bedroom.
There’s an almost giddy feeling rising within your chest as you make it to the secluded space. A feeling that makes you feel like you’ve discovered a grand secret and it was yours and yours alone to keep. 
For some reason you didn’t think Shigaraki would be there. You’d convinced yourself that maybe he felt the same way you did, too preoccupied with the sour note the night had been left off on and fully crossed out the roof as his hiding place. 
But, no.
He’s sat in his usual spot, sipping his usual energy drink and looking out at the night sky,
Your steps are light as you slowly make your way over, gentle as if he would make a dash for the exit and leave at any slight sound. 
But he doesn’t. 
No, Shigaraki sits there, hand no longer obscuring his face. He’s so still you almost think he hasn’t even noticed you.
A naive thought.
Your leader seems more aware of his surroundings than the average villain. 
Your steps stop just before you reach him, but his gaze remains fixed on the city lights.
“I brought you something,” your voice is soft, uncertain as you watch him take another sip of his drink. You knew the silence would last forever if you hadn’t broken it first. And it's not a lie, technically. It can be for the both of you. 
Finally, he turns to you, eyeing the blanket in your hands. 
“I thought it would be nice to have something to sit on.” You fight to keep your words from catching in your throat, but it’s hard. His piercing red gaze does nothing to soothe you and his lack of words makes your anxieties heighten.
“Are you stuck on another level?” His voice breaks through the tension and your shoulders begin to relax. 
If he seems bothered by your presence he doesn't show it. 
“No, I—” you pause, debating your next words — things feel so fragile right now. “I just wanted to come out here again.”
The wind whistles, carrying the strain of your worries on its back as you watch your leader.  
“It’s been a while.” You continue, watching Shigaraki’s ashen hair blow in the soft wind.
“You’re free to do what you want, you know,” he says between another sip. “You don’t need permission.”
“Right.” You mumble, eyes cast down at the cemented roof he sits on, “stand up for a second.”
Shigaraki watches you, but does as he’s told, giving you an opportunity to spread the blanket below and it's an honest improvement to the space. 
The quiet that spreads between you is more familiar. More comforting.
It lets you fall into the ambiance of slow cars and the calm city, the open air of the outside being just what you need to calm your mind and relax. You feel more confident in the unfiltered space, away from those gray, claustrophobic four walls of your bedroom.
“I wouldn’t mind some tips, if you had any,” you start, stopping that train of thought and pulling out the gaming system. The chime of the start screen fills the air and you bite back a smile.
He watches, the residual light from the screen shining against his face, making those ruby eyes shine brighter. “I might.”
You take the initiative and scoot closer to him, feeling a childish elation at the idea of learning something new about your borrowed game. 
Shigaraki doesn’t stop you, but he makes no attempt to move closer, only reaching for the device and starting a new level. 
“Here,” he tilts the screen, allowing you a better view as his character runs towards a wall. The faint smell of fresh linen meets your nose, it's soft against his well worn black hoodie. You try to ignore it, knowing your mind would wander but the proximity forces you to take note. 
You never thought Shigaraki would smell bad, per se, but you didn’t think it would be noticeably nice.
Cozy, even.
“And if you do that right…” he continues, pulling your attention back to the tutorial at hand, “you should get… this.” 
A box appears above the character and he jumps, claiming three extra lives and you would be impressed if you weren’t trying too hard not to show how distracted you were.
“O-oh! That’s cool.” Your hand finds the hem of your shirt, nervously picking at the seams as you watch on. Shigaraki wasn’t quite done showing you the tricks of the game and you wordlessly thank the stars for the distraction. 
This time, he leans over giving you a much better view of the game as his fingers press the controller buttons rapidly. “If you time it just right you can do…” his words trail off as the character makes contact with an enemy, making it disappear while gaining a power up. “This.”
The character jumps, its new and boosted form reaches higher than he could have without and meets the finish line. Shigaraki wins.
“Whoa.” You breathe and in any other case you would try to say more, show more enthusiasm, but you can’t ignore the soft scent of oatmeal and cinnamon. Shigaraki smells… warm. 
“It gets easier when you know where to look.” He finishes the demonstration and there's no chance you’ll be able to replicate his tutorials. 
So you nod, hoping that the night sky will hide the growing flush in your cheeks. 
Childish. Stupid.
You try to shake off the sprouting feelings. 
It’s probably just your mind playing tricks on you, anyway. An act of kindness that sends your brain haywire. 
“I didn’t think games like this were your type.” The words fall from your lips before you realize. 
Shigaraki raises a sparse brow, more curious than irritated. “What games do you think are my type?”
“Hm,” you pause, stopping to really ponder what may or may not be Shigaraki’s type, “I’m not sure. To be honest, I didn’t think I would like this game as much as I do, to be honest.”
“You’ve never played anything like this?”
Your smile is somber as it bites the bitter taste of your past. “No, my father had me on a pretty tight leash. I didn’t play much of anything. There was one game I really wanted though. Um, I think it was pocket monsters?”
“You’ve never played pocket monsters?” Shigaraki’s tone is usually even, but even he can’t hide the genuine surprise. 
You spit a laugh. “No, he saw that they battled or whatever and shut any dream of that down. Its,” your voice fades as you face the reality of your past, “Kind of depressing, really.”
Shigaraki stays quiet, watching the way you sigh. You wonder if he were looking through you, peering right into your mind and uncovering all of your dirty, disgusting past. 
If he were able to see all of that — to see all of you — what would he say?
After a moment he turns away, seemingly having gotten his fill of your damaged disposition and bringing his attention back to the sky above. 
“You would probably be a water type trainer.” He says suddenly, catching your attention. 
“Hm? What makes you say that.”
He shrugs, a lazy half lift of his shoulders. “It just fits you.”
“Yeah?” Your eyes are caught on his fingers, the way those hazardous hands grip the console, careful not to hold it in a way that would harm it. Forever cautious that those hands would make it disintegrate into a pale dust and then nothingness, doomed to ashes as it would blow away. 
You can’t imagine how stressful a quirk like that would have been to grow up with.  
“You would be a ghost type trainer.”
“Oh?” 
“Mhm,” You nod, eyes cutting away from his hands as you try to stomp down the sheepish feelings rising in your chest. “It’s in your name.”
Mourning. 
The words go unspoken, hanging in the air between you. It hangs heavy and you want to continue, need to continue.
You think of your leader and his growing gang of misfits, you think of the way there were no questions asked when taking you in and his previous words of encouragement. 
Tomura Shigaraki may be a dangerous villain, but he’s shown you more consideration than the person who was supposed to raise you. 
“You seem like the type… to see the beauty in abandoned things.” You fight through the nerves and speak your mind, unwilling to back down with how far you've gone. “Things that may have been forgotten, or lost…”
Himiko’s words echo in your mind, then Dabi and his hardened expression.
“... Things without a home.”
The silence stretches for a long time, you almost worry that you’ve said something wrong, but you can't help but feel a little happy to have gotten that out of your mind.
You pick up the conversation again.
“You know, talking about games with you, I,” your eyes meet the blanket below, your digits picking at the hem of it. “I feel like I've missed out on a lot.” 
Countless nights of telling your friends you can’t meet them at the movies, can’t go with them to stay-away camp, can’t do anything.
The only thing you can do is wait and watch your life pass you by in a prison dressed up as a broken home. 
“Do you ever feel this way?” The words slip out before you're able to catch them, the ache of connection too desperate to stay hidden inside. 
You don’t know much about Shigaraki, but you know that his upbringing must have been unusual if he’s turned out this way. Yet he’s here, trying to fight against what he believes is injustice. There has to be something that drives him to keep standing.
The quiet stretches and you’re about ready to change the topic and pretend you hadn’t asked anything. 
“Sometimes.” 
Your head turns to him, surprised. 
He gives his half shrug again. “But there’s no point in sitting in something that can’t change. The past is the past. Carve your own future.”
You bring your knees to your chest desperately trying to fight off the familiar burn of tears in your eyes. Once you would start, it would only be downhill from there.
“I just want to be normal.”
“Normal is subjective.”
“Yeah, well, tell that to society.” The words are bitter and they leave a sour taste on your tongue, knowing there is no way to live a life where you are just like anyone else. 
To be someone who’s had the comfort and privilege of growing up in a healthy, stable life. 
To live in a world where you could only read the articles about some home invasion in another city and gasp in disbelief that something like that could ever happen. 
In this fantasy world, you would shake your head in disappointment, make some comment about society going downhill and show the story to a friend for validation. Then you would close the page and move on with your day, forever forgetting about travesty because situations like that don’t happen to normal people. 
But that isn't how things work. 
Not for you. Never for you. 
“You should take that feeling and hold it close.”
Your brows furrow as you turn to him, your impending spiral screeching to a halt.
“Foster it and let it grow.” Shigaraki continues, handing his gaming system back to you with such careful hands. So, so delicate and gentle, unable to even risk a brush of your fingers. Somehow, this feels even closer than if he had touched you. “Why should they go on about their lives while you suffer?”
His voice is soft. 
It's tender, as if you were fragile enough to break with words alone. Your heart thumps against the cage of your chest as you hold the game tight, bringing it close and allowing it to anchor you. This conversation feels familiar, like the one you shared in your first days here.
Shigaraki gives a slow half smile and those warm feelings inside of you grow, spreading to your cheeks and ears while you hang on to each word, “you deserve to show the world your feelings.”
You gasp and meet his eyes, entranced as he breathes a new light into you with those words.
You see the beauty in abandoned things. 
It's true. 
But you never thought he’d see it in you.
A familiar roll of thunder drags you form your stupor, eyes transfixed on the gleam in his eyes and budding feelings within. 
“Sounds like it’ll rain soon.” His voice breaks through, and he’s already rising from his place on the blanket.
You nod a tad more enthusiastically than you should and hurry to gather the cover, flushing deeper as you notice he’s glued to his spot.
He’s waiting for you.
Your feet patter against the concrete of the roof as you nearly skip over to him, the smallest drops of rain meeting your cheeks. Your mind races as you gather two important things from tonight:
Tomura Shigaraki is an interesting guy.
And you are a curious cat.
41 notes · View notes
berninisanders · 2 hours ago
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SweetPixieGems's listing may be misleading
The whale shark looks suspiciously like a coin purse I bought at the equivalent of the dollar tree in Japan last month, same zipper and all
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The store I bought it from had the same grey version too that's on the listing
The Etsy seller says all of their pieces are entirely handmade, and the keychain part looks unique and handmade for sure, but the actual whale shark coin purse is likely not handmade. Which is fine but just feels misleading
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Whale Shark Coin Purse by SweetPixieGems
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lillaydee · 9 hours ago
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Head Over Heels Part 8
Jackson!Joel / Reader
Special Guest Appearance by a Certain FBI Agent who may or may not look a lot like Joel.
You left the loneliness of your home and headed to Jackson with Joel and the teenage girl he was with, hoping your new life would be less lonely. You should've stayed alone.
WARNING:
Non-canon Compliant, Pining, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Joel Lives (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Jealousy, Loneliness, Trauma.
MEGA WARNING: Descriptions of Attempted Sexual Assault.
@copperhalfcent @joelalorian @vickie5446 @peelieblue @nandan11 @liciafonseca @senoratess @denisanoemi @lovefreylove @heartpatch
SERIES MASTER LIST
Part 7
---
For someone who had been told all his adult life he was a good looking man, Joel Miller sure didn’t have a lot of luck with women. The first girl he had a crush on only became friends with him to get to Tommy. He lost his virginity under the bleachers of his high school to Missy Angelo, only to find out she had only done it to win a bet with her friends. His first actual girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend, and his college girlfriend was a ‘I wanna wait until marriage’ kind of girl, who loved to torture him with aggressive make out sessions before leaving him high and dry with some excuse or other after she had her needs filled.
It was after one of those make out sessions that he met Jen. He was horny, and she was just dumped. It was the perfect opportunity.
When she came to him with the news that she was pregnant, Joel’s world turned upside down. The girlfriend left, telling everyone he cheated on her. It was later revealed that she had been cheating on him all along. She didn’t really want him, just the reputation of being the girlfriend of the hottest guy in college. It made her very popular.
Jen, on the other hand, was not interested in him at all. He was the son of a small time carpenter from a small town. She was the daughter of a heart surgeon, whose manicures cost 50 dollars weekly, even way back then. The fact that she was still not over her married doctor boyfriend didn’t help either. So she kept Joel handy until she gave birth, leaving the daughter she didn’t want with him.
After Sarah was born, Joel found out the hard way that women were not interested in a poor single dad who had to drop out of college to support his daughter with a low income. As Sarah grew every single second, he focused his life on her. She became all he ever thought about.
There was one woman, Elsa, who stuck around for two years. He was a bit more stable then. His business was doing alright. He was making okay money. She was nice to Sarah. He actually thought he had found the one. He asked her to move in with him, but one week after moving in, her true colours showed. She kept suggesting ways to get rid of Sarah. Boarding school, living with grandma, leaving her at home while they vacation, the likes. The complaints became endless. He spoiled Sarah too much. He paid too much attention on Sarah. He spent way too much of his free time, not to mention money on Sarah. His weekends were all about Sarah. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.
When he came home just in time to see her slap Sarah for accidentally machine washing a silk camisole, he threw her out. No more women for him. He lived his life as a single father and made peace with it, and that was that.
And then the outbreak happened. Sarah died. He didn’t, albeit not for the lack of trying. He focused on keeping Tommy safe, doing whatever he could to survive, gaining his reputation. What the heck. Not like there was a little girl he had to set an example for anymore.
That’s when he met Tess. She was a hardened woman, a police officer in her past life. She had to shoot her husband and only child when they turned on outbreak day. Joel and Tommy followed her around, doing her bidding.
Soon enough, their partnership turned sexual. But both of them were not interested in a romantic dalliance. Just business and sex. They didn’t even live together. It worked perfectly. She gave the orders, he did her bidding. They would have their romp at the end of a successful business deal and go home to their own apartments. Same thing tomorrow.
Enough years passed, and he grew to care about her. You couldn’t possibly save each other’s lives that many times and not care about each other. But he was Joel Miller. He was the guy who pulled off people’s teeth one by one, and later graduated to cutting someone’s fingers off for information. Heck, he cut off someone’s legs while they screamed for their life just because they sold him short once. People like him didn’t have the space for romance. You don’t cut someone’s ears off and then come home to a candle lit dinner and romantic love-making by the fire. Maybe if you were the head of the mafia when the world was normal, but not in this fungus-riddled world.
Women had always hurt him. And being hurt like that in a world like this? No. Not worth the risk. This world took the one person he would die for from him, and he wasn’t going to let his guard down, he wasn’t going to let it win. And he couldn’t chance the possibility that someone would get back at him through his lady. So, no missus for him. Just the one woman he answered to and slept with every now and again. That’s all. That’ll have to do.
He cared for her. Full stop. He loved her, of course, in the ‘hey-I’ve-known-you-for-years-and-you-saved-my-life-more-times-than-I-can-count’ way, but romantic love? Nah. And he knew she felt the same way about him too. At least, she did, in the beginning.
He knew she had fallen for him. She told him. He was honest, that he didn’t feel the same way, but he cared deeply about her. She took it well, telling him that if he ever changed his mind, she’ll be right there. Until then, business as usual.
He looked out for her. Beat up anyone who crossed her, and if anyone so much as laid a hand on her, that’ll be their life. So when she came to him telling him she had been having conversations with a man who lived just outside of the city and they could potentially help each other out, he went with her. He was not happy, but he went with her.
The moment he entered the vicinity, his hair stood on ends. He could feel something here. Something or someone was hiding here. He didn’t understand it but kept the peace anyway. For Tess. So he sat through the lunches and the endless conversations to make her happy. It’s good for business, she told him.
He and Bill were cut from the same cloth, it seemed. Neither liked nor trusted the other, eyes on each other at all times. It was because of this that Joel could feel someone was watching him and Tess. It was exactly the kind of thing he would do if the situation was reversed. He could feel this person.
But for some reason, he didn’t feel threatened. Wary, perhaps, but safe, all the same. Comforted, even. Which was ironic, seeing as he would’ve made sure this person was armed to the teeth if he was in Bill’s place, and he was pretty sure this person was.
That feeling he felt got stronger the more often they visited. And one day, a year in, you jumped from the tree house right next to him, on his right side, where his bad ear was. He didn’t see you coming, couldn't hear you.
He fell head over heels because of you.
When you took the camo blanket off and he saw you for the first time, Joel felt naked. Vulnerable. Exposed. It was as if you could see through him, although he very much doubted it. But he knew. He knew you were the reason he was feeling those things he felt. A prickling of something creeping all over his body. Even when he couldn’t see you, he felt you.
It was electric. That was it. That was the feeling.
Joel had to look away. In those few seconds he saw your face, he thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. He felt as if he knew you. Like he’d met you before. That was impossible, obviously, but he just couldn’t shake that feeling off. It flustered him. He had to look away, lest you turned him to stone.
On the way back home that day, Tess couldn’t stop talking about you. He wanted to tell her to shut up. He didn’t want to think about you. You scared him. What was this he was feeling? He had never felt like that before. And her talking about you endlessly was making it hard for him to get you out of his head.
He tried to talk her out of going the next time, even suggested she bring Tommy instead. She refused. Bill would never do business with them again if she did that. So he relented, going over time and time again, trying his hardest to stay away from you. He stole a look every now and again, his heart beats easing every time he saw your smiling face as you talked to the woman he slept with occasionally.
He lost his resolve once, thinking no one was watching. He was watching you water your garden while Tess was inside with Frank. He studied the way you moved, the way your hair blew in the wind. He caught a whiff of your shampoo once as you walked past him and he swore he almost passed out from his desperation to just bury his nose in your hair. He sat there on Bill and Frank’s porch, hoping the wind would blow some of your scent towards him so he could get that whiff one more time.
“You touch her, I’ll kill you.”
He had been so lost in his mind watching you, wondering what it would feel like to have you in his arms, he didn’t notice Bill watching him from his window.
“She’s special, Joel. She’s not for men like us. She’s beautiful, kind, funny, smart, soft, not one for a brute, a savage. She can fight, take care of herself, I sure would like to see a man take advantage of her just to see her finish them off with three of those delicate fingers, but she’s the closest thing I have to a sister, and I would die before I see her end up with someone like you.”
Joel walked away, snapped out of his day dreaming.
Bill was right, of course. What would someone like you want with someone like him? Sure, he’s sure you had killed before. Everyone had in this world, but he would bet his own limbs that you would never torture someone for information. You would never kill someone just because. He knew you wouldn’t.
He knew you were far to good for someone like him.
But that didn’t mean that he could just forget about you. He stayed further away after that, keeping his yearning for you hidden. Your name was always on his mind. Your smile, although never directed at him, was haunting his dreams. So he took to carving your name into pieces of wood he could find, just to have something with your name on it with him. Something he could hold on to. Maybe held before he went to sleep at night.
He kept up the habit, until one day, he managed to carve an entire piece of wood in cursive, ending up with a 3D printing of your name. He hid it in a box he kept his most precious belongings in, looking at it every single night, running his fingers over it again and again until he fell asleep, your name in his hold, placed over his chest.
He woke up one day to Tess studying it. He must’ve let go of it in his sleep.
“It’s really pretty,” she said. “You should tie a string to it, she could use it as a keychain.”
Her expression was unreadable, but she busied herself looking for a string to do just that. Joel watched as Tess tied a piece of black string on the curved E that your name began with, and pocketed it, telling him they had to leave for your place soon.
He watched as Tess presented the keychain to you. The way your face lit up made his heart expand. He longed to feel like that every day. The fact that something he created made you smile like that made him float on air. He wanted to make you happy.
Ever since that day, Tess would tell him about the things you wished you had. A movie, a book, anything. And the next time he went scavenging, he would make a point to look for those things for you. And every single time, you would jump and hug Tess with a squeal. Oh, how he wished to be at the receiving end of those hugs.
When Christmas time came, Tess would tell him about the things she planned to gift to Bill and Frank, subtly suggesting he should make you something. He didn’t pay her any heed at first, but she insisted, reminding him again and again of the next time they were headed to you, make her something Joel. They’ve been nice to us. I have gifts for Bill and Frank sorted. Make her something.
So he did. A bracelet, at first, with a letter spelling out your name carved onto each of the dices the bracelet was made of. He made you a matching necklace the next year. But only when Tess insisted. He always watched from afar as Tess presented them to you.
He and Bill may not get along, but he respected the man. He was never going to act on his feelings for you. He would never disrespect Bill like that. Plus, if your actions were any indication, he was sure you didn’t think of him that way. You hardly ever looked at him.
He had to visit alone once, Tess wasn’t feeling well, but he went anyway as they had an important item they needed to get. He snagged his foot on a root as he was running from a lone clicker, managing to kill it before it got to him. But his ankle was swollen. So swollen Frank insisted he stayed to rest it, radioing Tess to let her know of his delayed return. The man wasn’t looking his best himself, feeling tired all the time.
When he woke up the next day, his ankle felt a lot better, having been iced and bandaged well the night before. Never an idle man, he asked Bill if there was something he could do to help, seeing as Bill was busying himself taking care of a sick Frank. Bill asked him to help you in the vegetable garden, reminding him that he had his eyes on him.
So he helped you, stealing looks at you every chance he got, if only to capture your face with his mind. Every now and again, Bill would make his presence known at the window, a gun in his hands. Joel could only sigh and kept on doing his work, reminding himself that Bill was right about him. So he carried on, for years, carving alphabets of your name on little dices to replace the ones that broke, watching and yearning for you from afar, never acting on his crush on you, knowing that someone like him didn’t deserve someone like you.
That wasn’t the only reason, though. There was the fact that he was with Tess, sort of. She was the woman in his life. And try as he might, he couldn’t feel about her the way he felt about you. If he could choose to feel differently, he would. But he couldn’t. If she knew about this hopelessness he felt every time he thought of you, she didn’t make it known to him. As the years went by, their sexual relationship lessened, and he didn’t fight it. She told him it was age, she was getting on, maybe not in the mood as much. Other than that, their relationship remained the same. Still, he was ‘with’ her. The woman meant a lot to him, and he would never hurt her like that. Not on purpose. He was a one woman man, and the woman in his life was Tess.
That day Tess got bit, she quietly told him to take Ellie to your place. Take her to Bill and Frank’s. Go to Elena. Do this for me, Joel. Go to Elena. Take care of them, take care of Ellie. Take care of Elena. She looked at him then, her eyes pleading, sad, meaningful. In that instant, Joel realized something.
She knew. She had always known. And yet, she said nothing.
She gave him a teary smile, telling him to take this chance. Go to her, Joel. Be happy.
When he was hesitant, she launched into a rant about how she had never asked him for anything. Not even to feel the way she felt about him, so please, do this for her. The horde of infecteds were swarming the door, and he had no choice but to pull Ellie out with him, his heart heavy with the reality of it all.
As he watched the building burn, all he could think of was how much he had let her down. She knew. She knew he was in love with you. And she never said anything. The guilt of it all weighted him down. It was all he could think about. Tess, the woman who had been by his side for almost 20 years, the one who had saved his life more times than he could count, the one who gave him stability in this fucked up world, died knowing that he was in love with someone else.
So when you were on the road with him, he had to keep reminding himself that he had hurt the woman who was his partner all these years by loving you. And to remind himself that he was not the man for you, the savage that he was.
You didn’t make it easy, though. You were easy to like, and for someone who had been yearning as long as he had, it was a struggle to even look at you. He told himself to tough it out, he shouldn’t do this. Out of respect for Tess, for Bill. But every time you were asleep, he couldn’t help but take the opportunity to caress your soft cheeks, touch your hair, taking a deep breath to stop himself from doing more. Stolen looks, touches were enough. They would have to do.
He tried to at least be friendly with you. Engaging in small talks, but the more he tried, the clearer it became to him that in your mind, he hated you. He wanted to prove otherwise, but every time you were in danger, he found himself screaming at you. He couldn’t tell you the truth – that he was terrified something horrendous was going to happen to you. He couldn’t take it. Even the thought of it made him want to die.
He was aware you were affected by his actions. He could see you beginning to withdraw from him, spoke less to him, but every time he wanted to do something to reverse his actions, he was reminded of the hurt he had caused Tess. So he kept quiet.
When you got to Jackson that first time, he found out Tommy knew about his feelings for you. It was evident, apparently. According to Tommy, every time Tess mentioned your name, his face softened. Every single time. And that was exactly why he could never ever be with you. Out of respect for Tess. Tommy told him how stupid that was, that all Tess would’ve wanted was for him to be happy. No, Joel said. Never.
And still, despite his harsh treatment towards you, you saved his life. He saw you sit by him all that time, saw how worried you looked, how exhausted you were. One time, you covered his body with yours, trying to keep him warm. And even in his semi-conscious state, his body reacted, putting his arms around your body, caressing those soft cheeks and hair, still wanting to fill his need to touch you.
When you were knocked unconscious, he placed you on the mattress, knowing he had to go get Ellie. He knew you would want him to. He held your face in his bloody hands before he left, placing his forehead on yours, kissing you on the forehead, whispering he would come back for you, barricading the doors to the house as best as he could in his condition to make sure you would be okay. Safe. Until he got back to you.
He didn’t anticipate how long it would take to get to Ellie, and how weak both of them would be on the return journey.
That pile of burnt bodies he and Ellie came across turned his insides cold, more so than the winter. It wasn't an uncommon sight - people kill infecteds and burnt the carcass, just in case.
He felt as if his world shattered. He felt alone. Everyone important to him was gone, save for Ellie. He didn’t even know if Tommy was alive - things could have happened after he left Jackson. His body just ceased to function. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t sleep. His mind kept seeing the burnt body he buried. Your burnt body. He wept for you. He left you there alone. Injured, vulnerable. This was his fault. He did this. He was the reason you died. Were you out looking for him and Ellie? Did you suffer? Did the men do unthinkable things to you before they killed you? Did your beautiful eyes search for him, hoping he would come rescue you? Did you call out for him?
And then he saw the body, a few feet away from the rest, badly burnt. The body of a woman.
With your scarf and blanket by its feet and pack.
All he could think of was how much he regretted the fact that Tess died knowing that he was in love with someone else, and you died thinking he hated you, that he had left you to die.
He fell asleep one night after downing an entire bottle of whiskey. Sarah came to him that night, telling him she was alright, that she was happy, that she met Tess, and that she was happy with her husband and son. Nothing that happened was your fault, Dad. You need to go on, Dad, for Ellie. You don’t see it right now, but you will. You need to go on. Make things right.
He woke up feeling as if he could breathe again. So he did, only to be startled to see you, alive and well, but distant with him, outright telling him how aware you were he didn’t want you there. What you must have thought of him, he thought. But you were back, he had the chance to make things right, and he will. He promised himself that he would make it all right. Once you were all safe, he would explain everything.
But the domesticity he felt with you when you got back to Jackson scared the living shit out of him. All the women he’d ever had a romantic connection with in his life had betrayed him, one way or another. That, or they died. Tess died. And suddenly, as he was watching you serve eggs and toast on his first day of work, he couldn’t help but think.
What if you died, for real this time? What if he let himself be free with you, and you died? How was he going to survive? And he had Ellie to think about now. He almost let her down when he thought you had died. He gave up. What if he didn’t come back from that? What would’ve happened to Ellie? He couldn’t risk that happening again. Yes, Jackson was safe. But was it really? He still slept on his right, wanting to hear anything that might go bump in the night. He didn’t feel safe. Bad things could still happen to you. To Ellie.
So he pulled back. Just so that he didn’t fall too quickly. He needed more time. Just until he felt it was safer for him to tell you how he felt. Until then, he would settle for watching you sleep, going back to his habit of caressing your cheeks and hair, whispering good night to you.
You woke up one night and decided to put a latch on your door, thinking that the door he didn’t manage to shut well was broken. He tried. He tried to find you at the greenhouse, usually in time with Vanessa going for her shift. The woman, for some reason, thought he was there to walk her to work. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to push her away, not when Tommy and Maria continuously begged him to be less grumpy, to blend in, to be nice to the townsfolk. But you seemed to pull away from him further every time he tried to spend time with you.
After his nephew was born, he had been trying to make it all up to you. You knew some of the reasons for his behaviour now, and he wanted you to know how much you meant to him. No more hiding. But you were hesitant to move back in with him and Ellie. Still, you were talking to him again, allowing him the privilege of walking you to and from work, even joking around with him these days, making his heart soar.
Tommy told him to move on, go on dates, but he couldn’t. He knew the men in town would snatch you up the moment he did, and he couldn’t risk that. But weeks went by and he couldn’t find you anywhere. Every time he knocked on your door there was no answer. You were never at the greenhouse. He searched for you, desperate to find you, but his own busy schedule got in the way. And after what he said to Tommy about never being with you, he couldn't find it in himself to tell Tommy the truth, although Tommy seemed to read his mind just fine.
Tommy finally wore him down, and he agreed to go to Betty’s birthday party with Esther. He made sure he would be as undesirable as he could be, just so she would stop pestering Tommy for a date with him. She had befriended him under the guise of needing repairs in her house, but when she tried to kiss him before he left, he stayed away from her. The plan for the date seemed to work, she was absolutely disgusted by him when she saw how filthy he was but put on a good face when they got to the hall. He left her to go after you, returning home when he lost you. He stayed up nights waiting for you to come home just so he could see you, talk to you, but his tired body betrayed him, and he fell asleep before you came home. When he woke up, you were either gone or still asleep, you door firmly shut.
And here he was, after all that, standing in the hall as you said the name of the man who came in with your brothers the night before. The name he had heard Tess mention. A man you had a connection with those first couple of weeks after the outbreak, the man you never stopped thinking about.
As you and the man you couldn’t forget all these years later hugged, tears in your eyes, Joel felt his heart drop. Heck, even Ellie looked nervous.
“You know that grovelling I suggested?” Liv’s voice whispered as he stood there like a rock, cold realisation seeping through his body, “You’re gonna have to up the efforts. If that’s who I think it is, you’ve got competition, buddy.”
Fuck.
---
Part 9
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tj-dragonblade · 1 day ago
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🔍🔍 bloop
Thank you for making me put a few more words on this one! Follows on directly from the last snippet in the wip: search agency tag:
"And yet. It is my property, and I would have it back. Without paying for it again." "I feel for ya, buddy, but that ain't fair to me." The guy crosses his arms, squaring up to argue. Ordinarily Hob might feel inclined to step in, to mediate, but instinct stays him. This is not the item that Dream actually wants; he remembers very clearly Dream saying he was unconcerned with retrieving the gemstone and the 'headwear', that only the pouch truly mattered. So if this ruby is just a decoy, why insist on taking it back? He holds his tongue, lets Dream do whatever it is he's doing. Dream folds his arms, mirroring the proprieter. "Then let us find some compromise that is fair to us both," he says. "The woman who sold this to you. I have reason to believe she is in possession of other stolen goods of mine. I would like them back as well." "Sure you would," the guy says, nodding, his tone an obvious attempt to be sympathetic. "She was tryna sell a few things besides the gem; could be they were yours?" "A helmet, not unlike a gas mask in appearance, with a spine protruding from the front?" "Yeah, she had that. Almost bought it, what with the weird magical energy comin' off it, but I couldn't imagine actually unloading it to anyone and I didn't want it stuck in my hoard. Didn't feel right." "A wise decision," Dream agrees, and Hob doesn't miss the look that flashes over the dragon's face, a look that says he's not sure what kind of bullet he dodged by rejecting that sale and he's glad enough to never find out as Dream continues. "The other item is a small pouch full of enchanted sand." "She did have a pouch she tried to sell me; couldn't neither of us get it open, though, so don't know what was actually in it. Wasn't buyin' it unknown." "Do you know where she might have gone next to try fencing her goods?" Dream asks it with a tired note in his voice, a weary and defeated cast to his expression, and the dragon's whole demeanor softens just a little. "There's a lot of possibilities, yeah. I could maybe come up with a list, but—" He shrugs, seeming almost genuinely apologetic. "Then let me propose a trade," Dream says, unfolding his arms and placing both hands on the glass countertop. "Tell us everything you can about this woman—what she looks like, where she may have gone next, anywhere that would make a likely stop for selling stolen magical items. And I will relinquish my claim to the stone, withdraw my personal seal from it." "That's all you want?" The dragon sounds wary, like it's too good to be true. Hob thinks, given the size of that stone, that it probably is. But he's trusting Dream. Dream offers a wan smile. "There is greater value to me in retrieving my other property, even if it means the loss of this piece. You have already paid a great sum for it. Tell me anything you can of the one who sold it to you, of where she could feasibly attempt sales, and will let you keep what you have bought in gratitude. If I catch up to her, I can take the money from her in recompense." "Alright, okay. You got yourself a deal, my friend." The dragon holds out his hand to shake.
This needs some refinement yet but progress is progress.
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theambitiouswoman · 3 days ago
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Heyy, so I know you recently just made a post on how to cope with anxiety and one of the things you listed were meditation. I want to get into meditation but idk how to meditate. Idk what I should think about, or what to listen to in order to meditate. I’d like some advice on that if you may? Also I hope you’re having a good start on the new year 🩷.
Hi! Ok here is a step by step:
Find a quiet place where you wont be bothered and turn your phone off or put it on silent.
Sit in a chair, or the floor and keep your back straight shoulders relaxed and your hands on your knees or lap.
When I first started meditating, I used a guided app called 'headspace'. You can try it too.
Start with 5-10 minutes as first you basically have to figure out how to relax and draw a blank in your mind.
Close your eyes and take slow deep breaths. Pay attention to your breathing. Think about the air coming in and out of your nose. If your mind wanders bring your focus back to your breathing.
Once you are there, you can probably think about a word that calms you. Like peace.. or "om". Most people dont know this but the sound you making when you say 'om' creates a vibration that represents the fundamental energy of the universe. The vibrations resonate through the body and impact the mind and nervous system.
You can also start becoming aware of your body parts, starting with your toes and upwards. The Heightened awareness of physical sensations helps you feel more grounded in the present moment and anchors you. Becoming aware of these areas allows you to acknowledge and let go of emotional blockages because emotional pain is also stored in the body.
If your mind wanders (it will) just bring it back by acknowledging that you got distracted (this is important because not doing so creates resistance) then return back to being in tune with your body.
When the time is up, open your eyes gently and stretch or any feeling or idea that comes up, write it down.
The point of meditation is to create awareness and quiet the mind. It reduces stress helps bring you clarity. This helps with personal growth and regulate emotions, increases compassion and gratitude. Meditation enhances focus, improves productivity, and deepens the mind body connection. It can also lower blood pressure, improve sleep and reduce chronic pain. Most importantly, meditation anchors you in the present, helping you fully experience life.
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onerockandroiitoomany · 1 day ago
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my thoughts after seeing stex wembley :D
I saw the 25/1/25 Matinee!
We had a few swings/understudies on- Scott Hayward as Rusty, Lara Vina Uzcatia as Greaseball, Asher Forth as Electra, Jamie Cruttenden as Lumber, Jessie Angell as Slick, Red as Green Arrow, Charles Butcher as Orange Flash, Sam Gallacher as Killerwatt, Bethany Rose Lythgoe as Wrench and Gary Sheridan as Volta. They all did incredible!
I adore the little remixes they have of cut songs from the show that play in the lobby! I didn't notice them at first but I swear my ears pricked up when I realised I could hear the melody of There's Me! I think the full list of remixes were There's Me, Next Time You Fall in Love, A Lotta Locomotion and Right Place, Right Time (Please tell me if I've missed any!)
This is the first show I've ever been to where there's been a safety briefing beforehand! The staff are all incredibly professional although they aren't miced up, so if you are hard of hearing you may want to grab one beforehand to ask them to run you through everything.
We had a show stop! I was actually pretty hyped about this because I'd heard about them happening a few times and as someone with the tiniest experience running theatre tech I wanted to see how it worked! Everything was fine and it was sorted quickly. The stop happened right at the end of Crazy since the house lights kept flicking on and off.
The show sounds so much better in person! I've listened to the cast recording and seen a few bootlegs and the criticism that it's hard to understand is definitely because people are watching recordings of the show. I have auditory processing issues and was realising what some of the lyrics were mid-song when I was in the theatre!
I was sat trackside in the locomotive seats and I'm so glad I didn't buy a cheaper ticket because I could see the entire track, and so much happened directly in front of me! The crash during race 2 happened right where I was sitting, and Dinah and Porter were cheering for the final race in the aisle. At one point, Lumber skated right into the barrier and when I jumped, he turned around and said "Didn't see you there!" which I thought was so cute!
If you want cast interactions and you're near the track, cheer during the races! clap along to songs! of course, being trackside helps, but simply show how much you're loving the show and it pays off. The cast are absolutely incredible with interacting with the audience mid-show as well as during the megamix, and I was so happy with how many little moments that I got to see so close up! If you're recording the megamix, look up at the performers and not at your phone, too!
The only downside of this is that sometimes your view will be blocked- I missed a bit of one of the songs because Tassita was positioned directly in front of me and I couldn't see past! However, the cast are almost constantly moving, so you'll be alright.
I truly can't recommend the locomotive trackside seats enough- there's never any turning around and craning your neck during the races to see what's going on!
During the races, there are live camera feeds which show up on the screens around the theatre. I didn't notice it for a while, but it's the marshalls with the cameras, and it really makes you feel like you're watching a race!
Speaking of the marshalls, they're absolutely incredible! Some of the tricks they pull off are insane to see, and sometimes I felt like I was cheering for them more than the skate stunts!
There have been a few little tweaks made since the recording of the bootleg that was floated around. They're mostly just a few words changed in lines, but there's still new things to see!
Seeing all the tech live is breathtaking. It's one thing to see a video, but so many moments completely took my breath away, especially I Am the Starlight.
I've got so much more appreciation for Pearl and the Freights as characters now. Not that I didn't like them before, but I definitely love them more after the show!
By the end of Act 1, I had already decided I needed to see the show again! I felt like everything could have taken twice as long and I still would have loved it.
In short- if you can see this show please do! It is entertaining, thrilling, and absolutely worth your money no matter where you're sitting!
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potato-frenzy · 3 days ago
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Strongly considering writing this Jayvik AU that has rather taken on a life of it's own in my head. I call it the Teen Pregnancy AU, on account of it involves Jayce meeting Viktor when they're sixteen and seventeen respectively and promptly knocking him up.
There's some variations on it, there's the biblically accurate one that that i haven't fully worked out the logistics of. But the one I most often think about is the version where Viktor was found by Vander after running away from Singed. Immediately brought home to a very confused Silco and they start their parenting journey much sooner.
Anyway, basically Jayce gets talk into going into the undercity by some shithead classmates because they serve you regardless of age if you have coin. Vander is watering down bozos drinks but they get rowdy anyway and Jayce breaks it up. That gets Vander's respect and he gives him the good stuff as a nod. So Jayce is tipsy when he sees Viktor doing some busy work across the bar. He marches his awkward ass over and asks to kiss him before he's even gotten a name and Viktor is too charmed by this beautiful boy to say no. Viktor drags his ass up to Vander's office and they end up screwing like bunnies before Jayce is badgered into going home by his 'friends'.
Viktor thinks little of the encounter save for it being a great lay despite the alcohol. That is until he's puking his guts out at all hours of the day almost two months later for no reason. And he doesn't think deeply about it because he's usually getting sick but food starts to smell/taste weird and the crying fits start. Vi and Powder are around seven and four at this point so Vander and Silco know a thing or two about small children and pregnant people. Their trans son is struggling though so they discuss options and Viktor decides to keep it, despite knowing how hard it'll be.
The pregnancy is hell and probably accelerates some underlying medical complications but he manages to have an otherwise healthy baby girl. Healthy apart from being born blind. Viktor pushes through, determined to make a good life for his daughter. He names her Ninati and she's a few months old when he gets into the academy. Vander makes sure there's enough community around Viktor to make sure he can pursue his path. If anyone can climb out on brains alone it's his twiggy genius.
And Viktor does it, he gets through school and establishes himself in Piltover. He has an apartment and childcare figured out by the time the day of ash happens. He's twenty and has to find out that one of his parents is missing and the girls who were basically his sisters are now orphaned and under Vander's care. Viktor considers quitting and moving back to help but Vander tells him to stay where he is because he's got a chance up there.
It's five years of raising his daughter, all the challenges a disabled child on top of your own disability. Occasionally crossing the bridge to bring some spare groceries and treats for the kids. Who now number four instead of just two. It may be unsatisfying and nothing close to the path he was aiming for when it came to being a scientist.
But one day Heimerdinger tells him there's been an explosion and he gives him a list to supervise the removal of dangerous materials. So he goes, thinking it'll be a late night but not a hard one. And then he walks into that workshop and sees the father of his child is the one responsible and concussed. He stays professional and tries not to let some old feelings come creeping in. Of course all that is quickly unimportant when he sees the theorems written on the bored and the wild equipment scattered around.
He's intrigued and drawn to this man for reasons now wholly unconnected to the seven year old that he had asked a colleague to watch for him. He watches the trial, curiosity growing by the moment, he looks at the man's notes and is captivated.
Viktor stays calm and collected the whole evening, through talking Jayce off that ledge and the poor man finally recognizing him. The hours they spend on the theory, working out the kinks, he doesn't bring up that they have a child. Jayce does comment on the bedroom line when they break into the office and he can't deny the attraction is still there.
They make magic. Actual magic and they're promised a chance to prove that this technology is worth the risk. Viktor's cane was used to barricade the door so he asks Jayce to help him get home. They're riding high on adrenaline and success and Viktor invites him inside. The colleague is sent home and promised muffins for the trouble.
Jayce is confused about that, he was so swept up the whole evening. The most beautiful boy he's ever seen sweeping back into his life after eight years to prove his theories work like a goddamn miracle. When Viktor invited him in, he was expecting a drink and an opportunity to make good on what he promised himself he'd do for years. When Viktor beckons him into a darkened bedroom and shown a sleeping child, he's taken aback. He thinks something completely different until Viktor says she's theirs. Her name is Ninati.
Jayce is shell shocked and barely registers Viktor saying that he is not required to be a parent to her if he is not willing and that they need to establish some boundaries for their partnership going forward. Jayce practically pounces on Viktor, telling him that there's no way he's gonna be a deadbeat now that he has the man of his dreams in his arms. They end up quietly screwing in Viktor's room and in the morning Jayce gets introduced to his daughter properly.
The seven year time skip is pretty nebulous but I know a few beats, one of which is them being sort of co-parents with benefits for a few months because they're shit at talking about feelings. And then Jayce proposes out of the blue in a park one day and Viktor is exasperated but says yes. They get married and sometime after try and fail to have another baby. So in Act II, they have a fourteen year old daughter who is as much their pride as Hextech and the events therein become much more tragic.
I still need to work out how Vander's death and Silco's takeover effect Viktor in this instance because he's their fucking kid too. But yeah, this is THE AU in my brain currently.
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floofanflurr · 3 days ago
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How would you feel about an AU that has Papyrus being Toriel's Door Buddy instead, and is the one that promised to protect Frisk (and unlike Sans, Papyrus does a decent job)? ;)
I'm now trying to figure out if you are an anon that's in my discord server, because otherwise the timing of this ask is INSANE, considering when this ask came in I was just talking about the absolute crack ship pairing of PapyrusxToriel (Torius) in order to have Mom times two. (Goat mom plus skelemom)
...ON THAT NOTE, I FREAKING LOVE THAT IDEA HOLY S H I T. Stars, i freaking love this concept so much?!?!?!??!?! ITS BRILLIANT. Is this a "there's a fic/AU like this out there and i'm reccing it" suggestion or a "hey you wanna write this" suggestion? ...BECAUSE IF ITS THE SECOND I HIGHKEY WANNA ADD IT TO MY PROMPT LISTS.
(Okay i rambled a lot more than i expected - sticking it under a cut)
Stars, I love it so much. I can just picture Papyrus running into Toriel - I do wonder - she would probably have to be the one to initiate the knock knock joke. But Papyrus would absolute keep coming back to humor her - both because he's lonely, but also because she reminds him of his brother in the worst (best) way. And then he would have another friend to add to his very, very short list, and Toriel would have consistent company and the best kinds of reactions (because what pun lover DOESN'T love getting groans in exchange for bad jokes?)
i wonder what kinds of conversations would pop up...? Because Papyrus is quite loud about his desire to be in the royal guard - and to capture a human. Would Toriel still bring up the promise in the same way? Would she be reluctant to befriend him? Perhaps she would, quite scathingly, decry the murder of children -human or otherwise - and force Papyrus to confront exactly what the guard does.
And the potential of Papyrus and Toriel being the ones to meet first and how that could play out- they're both such desperately lonely people. Their dynamic could also have some interesting things at play with Toriel's tendency to mother and smother, and Papyrus's existing experience with that with Undyne. Would Toriel smother him? How would that play out? Would Papyrus every confront her about it?
And, even with this interesting dynamic, inevitably, Papyrus would agree to her request to protect the human in a heartbeat, honestly. One of his very few friends asking him that? He would probably struggle with the idea at first, since this is directly opposed to Undyne (similarly to how he struggles in the game after he befriends frisk) but ultimately i think he would still lean immediately to protect, and therefore would agree to the promise. And then, of course, we get to Frisk actually showing up. He really would do a great job! I think he would still lead them through his puzzles, and we honestly might even still get a battle if he phrases it as training - but he would up and yoink frisk out of any Encounters before their HP got too low. Conflict resolution of the distinctly non-murdery kind!
Then we get waterfall....
I wonder if Papyrus would try to pull something a la "How to Protect a Human from Your Murderous Best Friend"? Would he lie? Would he try to sneak Frisk through? Would he fight Undyne...? Would he try to reason with her...? Reverse psychology a la Undyne date but early (and not nearly as effective without Frisk having spared her already)???
And the amount of Frisk and Papyrus interaction I could fit in!!! ALL the dad Papyrus content!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gosh I freaking love this idea so much. There's so much to consider!!! SO MANY WAYS IT COULD GO!
...and of course, i could fit in my crackship pair of Torius.
...I may come back to this later and actually plan it out better if this isn't already a thing.
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valentine-cafe · 8 hours ago
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Any tips for those who want to create ocs/ start writing? I have been thinking about writing for a long time but Im stuck on where to start
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﹙ 🍒. ﹚ ─── Hello darling! I hope this finds you well. I'll start with the oc question and then transcend into where to start with writing. Buckle up this ended up being so much longer than anticipated.
Tips for OC CREATION
Get inspiration. This seems like an obvious one, but you'll be surprised how much I forget to do this at times. Start with a small idea. For example, you want to make a baker oc? Pinterest is your best friend. Make a board, start saving everything to do with baking; whether you have any other concrete ideas or not. Just start saving images. You'll start stringing together a theme as you go. Maybe you'll discover that this baker really loves flowers. Which then comes the quesion - why do they love flowers? Or maybe you'll discover that this baker has a bakery along the seaside. Once more the question comes up - why? From here you'll be able to create a blurp for your character and a basis as a whole. Remember, don't force inspiration! This can be tricky, but let it come naturally. 
Don't be afraid to play around with ideas. Sometimes we tend to focus too much on 'things ,making sense'. This robs a lot of the creative process. While yes certain things should make sense, but don't hold each and every one of your ideas to this standard. Throw a bunch of ideas to the wall and see which ones stick! You never know what unique idea you could end up creating. Even if they don't make sense at first. Just jot them all day and find a way to loop them. As stated, some ideas may stick and some may not. 
Get an appearance. I find that figuring out how a character looks after your basis really helps with envisioning them more. Note: I only look for appearances after I have my basis and general ideas as listed above. Because this helps the appearance process. Remember our flower loving baker on the seaside from earlier? Well, maybe their eyes are blue like the ocean. Maybe their skin is sunkissed because of the warm weather. Maybe they keep their hair short too because of this. Of course, you still have free reign here too. Don't be afraid to give your character some bizzare quirks. Different colours eyes? Hair? Peculiar birthmarks? Go for it. Don't listen to the people who call 'mary sue' every left and right. 
Personality. Chances are with all the steps above you have a general consensus of the personality. But don't just shallow it out to the generals! List down positive, neutral and negative traits. Even morally good characters have negative traits. Even morraly bad characters can have positive traits. Neutral traits are also very important. Also note that you can twist a positive or negative trait to create something different. The positive trait "compassion" can quickly turn sour if the character confuses compassion for letting people walk all over them. The negative trait "deceitful" can turn positive if the character is in a story where deceit protects their general wellbeing as well as their loved ones. I'd suggest checking out this post of 600 personality traits. 
Character quirks. Character quirks are what make your character feel alive. This can be something as simple as: 'he's a midnight snacker and always needs some extra crackers at home because of this.' Play around, mix and match, you'll be able to create even more story with quirks! For example, maybe 'she adores nature and makes sure to thank it whenever she takes from it' why does she do that? Was she taught that? Is it to do with her family? Occupation? Beliefs? I'd suggest checking out this post of 170 character quirks.
Give. Your. Character. Conflict. I'm not saying throw them round the wringer ( although if that's your thing, by all means. Do it. I do it sooo much ). Even if your character is just the casual slice of life character, they need to have something that drives them! Any sort of conflict, big or small, can make a huge impact on making your character feel real. It can be something as simple as 'they are a writer, but have severe procrastination'. You don't have to give them life-changing struggles, but even just a few make the difference. If there is one rule I follow in my character writing journey: to see the beauty of gemstones, you must break them. Much like a gemstone that we break open, when we put a character on a low, aw spectrum - we see what they are all about. Admittedly, I take that saying to a very extreme level but I understand that most simply do not wish to do that. That is perfectly fine. Just weigh your character down in some way. 
Give your character a way of speaking. This seems small but it is one of the most important ones to me. Note down how your character speaks. What language do they speak? How do they speak it? Is there slang? Do they have a certain word or phrase that they repeat? Long sentences or short sentences? Flowery speech or blunt? This will all depend on all of the points above. Accumulate them and give your character a unique voice. This will help you individualise them. It also makes it easier to write with them. Adds so much personality flare!
Have fun! Another one that sounds obvious but can very easily be overlooked. Make sure that you have fun through the process. If the character isn't working out for you or is frustrating, rip it apart and start afresh! There's no shame in that. Howl and I have been planning this book series for almost one and a half years now and do you know how many characters we had to tear down and rebuild? Seong-Jin 9948e was one of them. I hated how his character was, it wasn't working out. I wasn't having fun with him. I had to tear him down to the very bone and reset him. Now? I adore him. You're not obligated to see all of your ideas through. If something's not working out, it's time for a new canvas! At the end of the day, make sure you are creating characters for you that you will love and have fun while doing it. Even with the characters you 'hate' because of morality or whatever it may be. Have fun with them. Have fun in general. 
Phewwww okay. . . now lets get to getting started with writing. 
Tips for getting started with WRITING
Ask yourself the most important question. Why do I want to start writing? It can be simple, it can be grand, regardless of what it is, it's valid. Identify it. Write it down. Just know why you wanna write. That's gonna be your key motivator for when things get rough and cloudy. 
More questions. What do I want to write about? How do I plan on writing this? Identify these key questions as well. Even if they seem obvious, identifying them is a very big step. You'll be able to make your game plan from here. 
Pick a place to write. I'm talking about document/site. There are various options. Howl and I typically use notion to organise and format our writing. There are of course many other options. Microsoft word, Google docs, Grammarly docs, Reedsy.com, hell - even basic notes. Choose somewhere where you will feel comfortable. Play around a bit. 
Write your ideas down. Even if your memory is tip-top, write that idea down the second you get it! Make a folder, make a notebook, do it digitally or not. Just write it down. Have a list of different ideas, even if they seem bareboned. Just write. Them. Down. You'll thank me later. This will be your pretty little writing bank where you can pull ideas out when needed.
Develop the ideas. Blurp them. Mindmap. Get those brain juices pumping! Write down random points and find a way to interconnect them. Even if they do not make sense. Once again, you'll be surprised just how much you can work out of your mind by simply scribbling everything that pops into your brain.
Inspiration is key. As I noted above, inspiration is very important. If anything, I suggest merging this with the previous tip. Go to pinterest, search up writing prompts on different platforms. Combinem link, do what you must. Throw everything into a large mixing pot and stir it up! Have pinterest boards even for you smaller oneshots if that will help you. Llisten to music, this is where majority of my inspiration comes from. Do the things that get your creativity flowing. It might seem cliche or dramatic but on the music standpoint? Classical music is your best friend. It stimulates a certain part of your brain that reallu gets things kicking. 
Practice writing. From my own experience, I have noticed that many writers including myself at times, forget to practice writing. This stems from the idea that you consistently plan and think out your ideas, fully flesh them out and then assume this will see you through. Another big misconception is that simply reading will make you a better writer. While yes, reading is an amazing way to improve your vocabulary, grammar and develop your style from your favourite writers. . . it is not practically practising writing. Here's a writing practice: get yourself a document. Or a paper. Whatever you see fit. Look around you. List down the things around you. Objects, the world out your window. Write about their shapes, their colours. Write what you smell, what you hear, what you see and feel. Make a story from all of these things. This practice in particular will not only be a great starter, but will also help you practise writing with the five senses. There are numerous practises you can pick up. Such as writing a scenario from a song or writing about a certain routine of your character. Identify your weak points and write pieces around them. You must write in order to practice. Seems obvious, right? ( haha ). But we tend to take our work or scheduled writing and assume that as practice. While it can very much be, you're gonna need that extra input!
Research. To tie in with the previous note. Research will aid your weak points. As writers, we write about experiences, about the world, actions. We cannot allow ourselves to write what we do not know. Now, that by now means equates to you studying every topic you can find under the sun, rather, research when necessary. Are you writing a fanfic where the character is of a different ethnicity? Do a little brush up on their culture and some facts around the ethnic background. A piece about a flourist? Learn a little about some flowers. Do you struggle with dialogue? Listen to people speak ( DO NOT LOOK AT MOVIES OR TV SHOWS. ). Listen to people in reality speak. See how they talk. The beautiful thing about writers is that we write about all sorts of corners of life. And so we must understand life itself. 
Routine. I know a lot of us dread schedules. So do I. But this isn't a schedule - it's a routine. Make a habit out of writing. Even if it's simply twenty minutes a day if you cannot sit down and work on what you want. Even if it's just practice. Please, find the time to write at least a little every day. Where you have time, block it out for writing. Make a tummer. Do writing sprints. Make a flow. Like any art form, it must be done consistently. 
No. Forcing. I know this may sound counterimtuitive to the last post but darling. Do not overwork yourself. Do not force yourself. There is a difference between holding yourself accountable to your routine and being hard on yourself. Identify your limits. Know when enough is enough. Take a breather, get some water, close your eyes, walk outside. Don't make this a chore. Again, it is art. Even if it is your job. It is still art, and art is freedom. 
Finish your WIPS. DON'T RUN FROM YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES. Yes, I know that I said do not force yourself, but this is another fine line that you must find balance in. I understand the issue of an idea losing its spark, I do. But hold yourself accountable at times. Complete your work in progresses. Your passion project, that fic you're holding off. At least try to. This will help in the long run of completing writing projcts in general. Because if you do this long enough, you'll develop it into a habit, trust me. I know this all too well. If you have an idea? Write it out! Don't post anything about it until you have all of it written out. This can also help. At times we get too excited with sharing the idea and get lost in all the highs that. . . the idea eventually falls short. And then we feel guilt for not seeing it through. Remember, consistency is key.
Write for youself. Everyone loves validation. I certainly do. Everyone wants to hear a - 'this is so amazing!' However, once more, we have another fine line. Make sure that you are writing for yourself. Make sure that what you are writing is something that aligns with you. Even if you are a fanfic writer taking requests. Find essence in that request and tune it so that you enjoy writing it. Even if you are the only person writing for this specific trope, a specific character, an au, whatever it may be. Write it. Get it out. Have fun with it. Post it. Not only are you doing yourself justice by expressing your creativity, but in the long run - you never know who might need that piece. You never know who might stumble upon it and have their day brighten up. Don't care about how people may receive it, don't care about the absurdity of it. Write it. And have fun while writing it. 
 
I really hope that this helped! I plan on making a little post like this for reader insert writers in particular because it is something that has been on my mind. . . remember, in whatever you do - have fun!
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