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theonotti · 1 year ago

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MIO | OS | t.n.

Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!Hufflepuff!reader

Word Count: 9.5k

Summary: Voldemort won. Harry Potter is dead. But the Order of the Phoenix is still fighting, with two surprising allies who have very different reasons for aiding their cause.

Warnings: Pretty angsty. AU where Voldemort did not die at the end of DH.

Notes: This is heavily inspired by Secrets & Masks and Manacled. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

That Final Night One Shot

Late.

They’re fucking late.

Taking a long drag of his cigarette, Theo looks down at his watch.

Twenty minutes late, to be exact.

“How long are we expected to wait here?” Mattheo growls, pacing across the wood of the decrepit bar. The floorboards creak with every step. Theo is sitting at one of the tables, a sigh forcing its way out of his lungs as he watches his friend. In one hand is a cigarette, the other hand mindlessly tracing the vandalism that had been scratched into the top of the table.

“Another ten minutes and then we’re fucking off.”

The bar has been long abandoned, making it their top choice for discreet meetings. They had cycled through a few different locations before they finally found the bar. The walls are a sloppy black color, which is mostly covered in 80’s posters, both movies and musical talents alike. Theo’s eyes drift from poster to poster. He’s seen them what feels like a thousand times, and yet he still finds it hard to tear his eyes away when he stares at them.

An hour has already passed since their arrival, but that was due to the ungodly amount of wards and disillusionment charms that they needed to cast before the meeting, a ritual that has become quite routine. Once everything is set, they’ll briefly discuss what they’ll say, and then they wait. Theo finds the extra waiting time peaceful, usually. It gives him a chance to mentally prepare for the carnage that comes to his psyche afterwards. The guilt. The fear. But this time, the stakes are higher, increasing the tension in his muscles much too soon. He can feel the pain already in his lower back, and he doesn’t want to imagine the aches he’ll be feeling once he returns home.

“Can’t we just kill them?”

Theo considers this question as he lets his eyes jump back to Mattheo.

“That would probably defeat the purpose of why we’re here.”

“Sure, but I still hate Weasley and his stupid face. Just one Cruciatus curse at his ugly face would be okay, surely. I won’t even make it a long one. Four minutes tops.”

Theo boredly watches the smoke from his cigarette float up towards the ceiling as he ignores Mattheo. Every moment that passes increases his irritation. He finds himself wondering if it’s a power move on their part. They hold all the cards, so they can keep him waiting.

Something in the air triggers, both men looking towards the door. Theo’s fingers tense around the cigarette as he brings it to his mouth to take another drag, his other hand dropping down from the table to clench around his wand as it rests on his lap. The dimly lit room has a smoky haze, all thanks to Mattheo and Theo disregarding the “No Smoking Allowed” sign that is appropriately starting to fall off the wall.

The door opens, Ron Weasley followed by Hermione Granger walking in. Theo has long lost count of how many times they’ve met with Granger and Weasley, yet it still feels jarring every time he sees them. Maybe it’s because their appearance catches him off guard each time.

Despite them all being in their mid twenties, they all look tired and worn. The rosey cheeks that Granger sported while they were in school are now gaunt and hollow. Dark circles are painted under her eyes, along with Weasley’s, and she keeps her bushy hair contained in two french braids going down her back. Weasley keeps his hair short now, and his body is more built than it had ever been when they were at Hogwarts. His boy-like features are long gone, with gray already peppering his ginger hair, and if Theo didn’t know any better, he would’ve guessed that Weasley was in his late thirties at the least. The life in their eyes had long drained out, replaced with a coldness that chilled anyone who happened to be stuck in their gaze.

War hadn’t been kind to Theo or Mattheo either.

Mattheo has more scars on his face than he did back in school, and he grew his hair long in a feeble attempt to hide them. There was a time that he wore them like a badge of honor, but since the start of the war and his PTSD becoming worse than ever, they no longer were something he pretended to be proud of. He’s since developed an anxiety twitch, his whole face seeming to spasm whenever there’s a loud noise not caused by him, or tense moment. Though they don’t live together anymore, now that Theo has full ownership of Nott Manor, when they had, Theo could remember all the nights of hearing his best friend scream and cry in his sleep from across the mansion. It was more often than not, and it was unbearably hard to get Mattheo to calm down from the vivacious nightmares.

The opposite could be said for Theo. Instead of nights filled with intense dreams of death and melancholy, Theo simply doesn’t sleep. He couldn’t, for the life of him, shut his brain off. And while that had always been an issue for him to some degree, it had become exacerbated since his transition from student to soldier. Theo doesn’t know what being tired feels like anymore. It’s so ingrained in his psyche that it would be more abnormal for him to not be tired. All he can do is adjust, living off coffee and the occasional upper to keep him moving.

Weasley leans on the wall beside the door. His demeanor is much more unpleasant than normal as his eyes flit between Theo and Mattheo. Theo pretends not to notice as he looks at Granger, who’s standing in the middle of the room. She always did all the talking. Theo assumes it’s because of the way she carries herself, and they certainly take her more seriously than they could any Weasley. Besides being a fighter for the Order of the Phoenix, Granger is a war negotiator. She deals with prisoner exchanges and, eventually, peace talks. Although, considering it’s been seven years since the Battle of Hogwarts, Theo is less confident of the possibility of any sort of peace treaty happening any time soon. For the entire duration of the war, it was her that Theo dealt with when it came to these sorts of things, before and after their betrayal.

She clears her throat.

“What information do you have for us?”

The strain in her voice is lost on no one. The tension in the air is so thick, Theo is convinced he could grab it if he tried.

Mattheo stops his pacing, turning to face her full on. His anger is palpable.

“Stop with the bullshit,” He snaps. “Let’s talk about why we’re really here today.”

Weasley’s hand tightens around his wand, but he doesn’t move. Theo keeps his eyes on him to ensure it stays that way before turning back to Granger.

“You have Malfoy.” Theo’s voice is quiet, tone neutral.

The corners of her mouth twitch upward.

“We have Malfoy.”

Mattheo lets out a frustrated sigh.

“We can’t continue to cooperate with you until you hand him back.”

Granger’s expression doesn’t change, making it clear that this reaction was expected.

“He’s quite the bargaining tool. What are you willing to give for him?” A beat passes. “Or I guess I should say, who?”

Mattheo turns to look at Theo, who can tell just by that exchange of a glance that his friend’s patience is wearing horrifically thin.

“We can ensure the release of Luna Lovegood and Seamus Finnegan. And we’re prepared to give you the maps of the hidden prisons in Sussex.” Theo conveniently forgets to mention that they were already planning to give them the maps, regardless of the way things went at this meeting.

Granger turns to look at Weasley, who merely raises his eyebrows, before turning back to Theo.

“He’s Draco Malfoy.”

Theo’s hand curls tighter around his wand.

Mattheo huffs loudly, throwing his hand down and smacking it on the bar top. The sound is so loud that Granger flinches, and Weasley pushes off the wall suddenly, but doesn’t move forward.

“You know bloody well that our heads will be on a fucking spike if we don’t get him back,” He hisses at them. “Then who will aid your bloody Order? You think there’s anyone else who will risk their necks like we have? Honestly?”

“Regardless of your help to the Order, do you really think we can just hand Voldemort back one of his best fighters?” Granger's voice raises just a touch. Mattheo takes a step towards her.

“You’ll be singing a different fucking tune when we’re dead and you realize the next on the list is you. You’re losing the goddamn war. Biblically. You need us. Alive.”

Theo waits for Mattheo to finish his outburst before he turns his attention back to Granger. He knows where this is going.

Fuck, he knows where this is going.

“What else do you want, then?”

Theo’s hands tremble slightly. He clenches his right fist around his wand even more, the left bringing the cigarette back to his mouth quickly.

Mattheo shakes his head, turning away as he pulls a cigarette from his pocket and lights it with his want.

Granger tilts her head as she looks at Theo, her expression shifting to a tired one, as if the answer is obvious. When she speaks again, her voice is just above a whisper.

“You know who we want, Nott. It’s been almost a year.”

Theo’s nostrils flare.

“Not on the table.”

Suffice to say, the raid couldn’t have possibly gone worse.

How the Order could’ve been so prepared for them was beyond Theo.

One minute, everything seemed to be going to plan as Theo, Mattheo, Malfoy, Blaise and a few others sauntered into the safe house. Quick in and out. Nothing too complicated. The next, it was like the floor fell out from under their feet.

How did things get so royally fucked up?

Theo woke with a start, sitting up abruptly, covered in a layer of sweat as his eyes darted around the room. It took him a minute to get reoriented, and only then did he realize that he was in his own living room, laid on the couch with a blanket draped over him. Ripping the blanket off, his hands flew towards his abdomen. When he looked down, he found he was shirtless, but his skin was unharmed, save for some minor scarring. New editions to the collection. He then reached up and touched the top of his head. Nothing. Not even a scrape.

What?

Slowly, he kicked his feet over the side of the couch and stood up. The room spun for a moment, and his joints ached, but otherwise, he was completely normal.

The manor was silent. So silent that it made the hairs on the back of Theo’s neck stand up. Almost automatically, he walked across the floor, his bare feet cold against the hardwood. He tried to keep his footfall soft as he continued listening for any sort of sound. There, in the faint distance, he could hear… something. Grabbing a hoodie off the back of a chair, he slipped it over his bare torso and zipped it up halfway before making his way towards the sound.

Theo stepped into the kitchen. A flash of movement came from the other slide of the sliding door that leads to the courtyard. His hand instinctively went to grab his wand from his pocket, only for him to realize it wasn’t there. At the same moment, he also realized the person outside was Mattheo, having a smoke. His tense fingers relaxed, his arm falling back to his side.

Mattheo looked over as Theo slid the door open and walked out.

“Look who’s awake. How’re you feeling, Sleeping Beauty?”

“Who healed me?”

Mattheo placed a hand over his heart, feigning offense.

“You wound me, Nott. You don’t think I’m capable?”

Theo shook his head almost immediately.

“It’s not as… clean when you do it. And I have the scars to prove it.” He pointed to his back, which was covered in scars thanks to a nasty run in with a car, a Bombarda cast, and Mattheo’s lack of concern to learn basic field emergency spell casting.

Mattheo sighed in resignation before saying, “You’re right. It wasn’t me.”

Theo waited for Mattheo to give elaboration, and when one wasn't given, he could feel his fingers curl into fists. Though Mattheo’s face was neutral, the tension radiating off his body could be felt a kilometer away.

“What did you do?”

Mattheo took a long drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke out through his nostrils before turning back to Theo.

“Theo…”

“What did you do, Riddle?”

Swallowing hard, Mattheo looked away from Theo.

“We got their best healer.”

Theo blinked. A hostage?

“You took someone?” He asked, voice low. “That… that wasn’t part of the plan.”

Not that things ever went to plan. And not that they hadn’t ever deviated so far left and forced them to take hostages before. But there was something about the way Mattheo couldn’t look at him that made Theo’s fingers run cold.

Mattheo shook his head as he took a seat on one of the lounge chairs. He let his head fall to his chest, as if it were too heavy to hold up anymore. “That wall fell on you. You were going to die, Theo. We needed…” He inhaled sharply before looking up again. “It was beyond us. We needed the help. We needed her.”

Theo wracked his brain. The Order’s best healer? The Order’s best healer. Why does this mean something to him?

“Who is it?”

Mattheo leaned backwards in the seat so his back laid against the chair before he pointed at Theo, as if he was preemptively defending himself.

“You’re going to thank me. You’ll be pissed. But you’re going to thank me, ultimately.”

Theo’s nose twitched.

“Mattheo… who is it?”

Mattheo nodded back towards the house before vaguely replying, “She’s upstairs, in the North wing.”

Theo’s feet didn’t move, stuck to the floor like ice. His mind was running, a plethora of questions all begging to be answered. But his mouth forgot how to work as well. For a moment, all he was able to do was stare at Mattheo, who stared back briefly before nodding towards the house again.

“Go on.” His voice was soft.

Theo’s feet kicked on again, taking him back into the house as if they were on autopilot.

Why the hell are you so nervous? You don’t even know who it is.

His wand was laying on the end table next to the staircase, which he grabbed and shoved in his pocket. His knees buckled as he walked up the stairs. Distantly, he could hear the sound of yelling and objects being thrown around. It didn’t take him long to figure out which closed door the sounds were coming from the other side of. He stood outside the black wooden door, listening. Trying to maybe discern who it was before he went in.

He could just make out the wards that had been placed on the door. Laying a hand on the knob, he was relieved to find that he was able to touch the brass of the handle. Mattheo had been known to incorrectly cast the spell so no one could get through, which had more than once sent Theo or Malfoy through a wall.

A shaky sigh pushing its way from Theo’s lungs and out of his mouth, he turned the knob and let himself inside the room.

The color drained from Theo’s face.

Standing in the middle of the room, chest heaving and anger radiating off of like a stove top, was you.

Suddenly, Theo was back at Hogwarts, standing in the Astronomy Tower. You were no longer in your casual shirt and jeans, but instead, in your Hufflepuff robes as you looked at him and told him you were leaving to join the Order.

“This war is above us, Theo. Dumbledore is dead. Harry Potter is dead. I can’t stand idly by and watch people die. I need to do something.”

“Yeah? And what about me?”

“You could come with me.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“And you know I can’t stay.”

The memory hit Theo like a train. His breath hitched in his throat.

You turned to face him, freezing in the headlights of his gaze. The way your fury faltered at the sight of him made it clear that you were having the same out of body experience that he was.

You certainly had been busy. All of the furniture in the room was broken. The night stand had been thrown against the pewter colored wall, leaving a dent in the dry wall and the wooden pieces scattered across the floor. A picture frame that Theo hung and forgot about was in ruins, the brunette girl in the picture cowering in the corner of the shredded pieces of photo paper. Feathers from the pillows littered the carpet. The mattress had been thrown off the bed frame, which was also now broken.

Though he couldn’t focus on the damage that had been done to his guest room. He was too busy staring at you with the same confounded look he’d had when he first entered the room.

Your hair was longer than he remembered it, pulled back so it was out of your face. Your features had grown with you, your cheekbones more prominent, your eyes with more bags, your cheeks with less color. There wasn’t a corner of Theo’s world that wasn’t burdened by war, and, unfortunately, that included you. His heart raced in his chest as he looked at you. He had locked the memory of you deep into the catacombs of his brain, not allowing himself to bring them out for any occasion. There wasn’t the time or need for it. This is war. When is there a moment for reminiscing on the worst day of his life?

But now there you were, standing in front of him, with a dumbfoundedly angry look on your face, casual clothes and longer hair. The flood gates were now opened, and he was overwhelmed with memories of you, running through his mind so quickly that he felt like he was spinning.

Your eyes still twinkled in the light that streamed in through the curtains.

“You tell Mattheo Riddle that he can give me back my wand and we’ll see then if he’s able to force me into this room again.”

Theo flinched.

The sound of your voice alone made him feel the need to have a complete mental breakdown. You could’ve been cursing him out or singing in German and he would still feel the overwhelming urge to curl into a ball on the floor. Even with your anger, it still felt like a sweet symphony to Theo’s ears.

He never thought he’d hear the sound again.

Hell, he never thought he’d see you again.

Realizing you had spoken and he was just staring at you like an imbecile, he cleared his throat.

“You healed me.”

Your expression shifted, an emotion crossing your face that Theo couldn’t read. Standing a little straighter, you nodded.

“I’m a healer,” You said slowly, distantly. “It’s what I do.”

He snorted. That bleeding Hufflepuff heart.

“You could’ve let me die,” He pointed out, cocking his head to the side.

You seemed to consider this briefly before saying, “In theory, yes.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Silence hung in the air between the two of you, coupled with the unmitigated tension. Theo’s hands were curled at his sides, not from anger, but to stop himself from giving into the inordinate compulsion to reach out and touch you. To prove to himself that he wasn’t dreaming or hallucinating. That you were actually in front of him. You shifted your weight to your other foot.

“I don’t think I really could’ve, even if I wanted to.”

The words unsaid in this moment would keep Theo up at night for weeks.

Your eyes trailed down his body, studying him, taking in his bare chest underneath the hoodie. He swallowed hard, his body seeming to freeze under your gaze. Maybe he should’ve changed before coming into the room. At least maybe thrown on a proper shirt. He’d never had a hostage in his home before. There was no protocol book on the proper etiquette.

Especially not when the hostage was his ex-girlfriend who’s now working on the opposite side of the war.

You let out a strangled sigh.

“You have to let me go back, Theo. They need me. No one is trained on some of the things I am.”

The shake of his head was immediate.

“You can’t even begin to comprehend what he would do if he found out Mattheo and I had you and then just let you go back,” He said in a strained yet soft voice. “I can’t. We can’t.”

Your nose twitched as you closed your eyes.

“I won’t fucking heal for him,” You declared in a low tone. “I’d rather be strung up in Godric’s Hollow to rot like all the other people he’s executed than heal for him.”

Theo tried to be rational as he considered what to do. There was a tug of war in his mind, his loyalties competing to decide the best course of action. The obvious answer was to turn you over to The Dark Lord, where you would be put on trial for the crimes he deemed you guilty of, and then punished accordingly. With the skills you hold, Theo knew that you would more than likely be put under the Imperius curse and forced to act as a healer for the Death Eaters.

Though the answer was obvious, that didn’t make it correct. Not to him or to anyone else.

Theo knew. He knew you’d rather die than breathe the same air as the Death Eaters, let alone fix their wounds and send them back out to kill your people. His head throbbed as he tried to think of the best direction to go in.

Because, in his head, letting you go was simply out of the question.

“This is a negotiation, is it not?” Granger asks. “We have something you want, you have something we want. We exchange.”

Theo shakes his head as he smashes the end of his half smoked cigarette on the top of the table.

“She’s not for trade.”

“Well, she’s what we want.”

A bead of sweat trails down the side of his face. He ignores it.

“She’s nowhere close to being worth the same as Draco Malfoy. This isn’t a fair trade.” He means it, but not in the way that he presented it to them. Nothing they could offer would make it a fair trade in Theo’s eyes. They could offer the end of the war. They could offer his freedom from the Death Eaters. They could offer endless riches, or immortality, or anything else he could possibly dream up. None of it would equate.

“Then we’ll gladly take Luna and Seamus back as well,” Granger says through clenched teeth, expression reading that her patience is wearing thin. “To make up the difference.”

Theo opens his mouth to respond, but Mattheo cuts in before he gets the chance.

“You’ll take what we fucking give you.”

Granger shoots him a dagger filled glare.

“We can no longer afford to play these games with you. You have our best healer. And we need her back.” She rolls her head before her eyes fall back on Theo. “We have been patient. We have accepted that we had nothing worth trading for her. Now we do. Malfoy’s importance to the Death Eaters is well known. Don’t patronize us by pretending we don’t have the upper hand here.”

A chill runs through Theo’s spine.

She’s right.

God dammit, she’s right.

Theo runs a hand through his messy hair, the most he’s moved since he sat down. His brain scrambles to come up with something, anything, that he can offer to remedy this. There has to be something of equal value. There has to be something he can give that would make them decide to let you stay.

“Before you try to come up with some feeble offer, know that we won’t be backing down from this,” Granger says as if she’s reading Theo’s mind. “You won’t be getting Draco Malfoy back unless we get her, regardless of what else you give. She’s the only card you have that could get him back.”

Theo’s eyes snap back to Granger, the anger boiling in his chest.

“This is a negotiation, is it not?” He repeats her words back to her. She smiles at him, but the gesture does not reach her eyes.

“Maybe negotiation is the wrong word for it.” She hums thoughtfully. “It’s more like a plea deal. Take it or leave it.”

“You’re up late.”

Theo jumped at the sound of your voice as he quickly flicked the light on.

He didn’t expect to find you in his kitchen, sitting cross legged on the island counter with the lights off. A bowl of what he could only assume was cereal was in your hands.

He glanced at the clock on the wall.

“It’s four in the morning.”

You glanced up at the clock as well, before shrugging.

“Fine, you’re up early.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Theo’s mouth.

He could feel you studying him as you brought the spoon to your mouth. A flush of warmth filled his cheeks as he made his way to the fridge, making it a point to turn away from you. Still, he knew your eyes never left him.

“You still don’t sleep much, huh?” You asked, mouth full of cereal.

He sighed as he pulled the carton of orange juice off the shelf.

“I’d say I don’t sleep at all these days.”

He popped the top of the carton before bringing it to his mouth and throwing his head back. You watched him carefully, seeming to pause your eating.

“You’re a feral one now, aren’t you?” You asked in a playful tone. “Drinking right from the carton? Who have you become, Theodore Nott?”

He laughed, the sound being so foreign to him these days, before saying, “I generally live alone, and I never host other people. No need to waste a glass, as far as I’m concerned.”

Him ignoring the last comment of yours was intentional. Despite the playfulness behind it, Theo doesn’t know how you would feel about the man he’s become, and he doesn’t want to dwell on that fact.

You continue to laugh as you shake your head.

“Mad behaviour.”

Theo eyed you.

“Says the girl sitting on the counter, in the dark, eating cereal.”

You smiled as you take another bite.

“Got me there.”

It had been almost two months since Mattheo had taken you hostage and made you Theo’s problem. In an attempt to keep peace, Theo gave you free reign of the entire manor and all of the land around it. After repairing the furniture in the guest room (multiple times, as you had to get your frustration out somehow), Theo allowed you to stay there. Before his death, Nott Sr. had created a dungeon-esque holding below the house, with cage like cells and torture weapons, but Theo had the area of the house completely closed off upon his arrival as head of estate, and he wasn’t planning to reopen it anytime soon. Besides, the thought of locking you in an actual cell made Theo physically ill.

“How’s the escape plot going?” Theo asked as he leaned against the counter adjacent from you, juice carton still in hand.

“Considering I can’t apparate because you already had anti apparation wards in place, the wards Mattheo placed that are linked to my DNA so I can’t leave the estate at all, and that bed being the most comfortable thing I’ve ever slept on…” You listed, raising a finger with every reason. “ … I’d say it’s going quite terribly.”

Theo’s eyebrows hit his hairline as he let out a surprised huff.

“Mattheo has always been quite meticulous.”

“Well, he said he was afraid you’d let me go.”

Theo’s smile faded quite quickly.

The first couple of weeks following your capture, you had made yourself scarce around the manor, mostly spending time in the North wing. Theo made it a point to stay out of your way. Not only for the sake of your anger, but because he needed to work out his own emotions about you being there. Even in this moment, looking at you in the kitchen, he still hadn’t quite worked out how the whole thing made him him.

After the first couple of weeks, you had slowly started making your way through the manor, exploring every crevice. Every nook and cranny. Theo knew it was to look for a weakness to exploit that could lead to your escape, but he didn’t comment that to you. Just let it sit in the back of his head.

With your emergence from your room also came your increased interactions with the dark haired lad. It was painful at first, just a curt nod here and there, but it slowly built up to exchanging jokes and sarcastic comments, and even as far as the two of you reading books in silence together in the library.

It was almost as if there was never a moment between the days you and him spent together at Hogwarts and now. Just cut the time apart out and sew the rest together like the war never happened.

Theo often found himself wondering if he was one of the weaknesses you were attempting to exploit.

Your comment about Mattheo believing Theo would let you go did nothing to snuff out that thought.

He tried not to think about it too much.

You watched him carefully as he took another long sip of juice from the carton.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do with me yet?”

Theo rolled his eyes, setting the juice on the black countertop next to him.

“Nope.”

He didn’t bother to ask how you knew it was even up for debate. You’d always had a knack for just knowing things. And he couldn’t imagine that his debates with Malfoy and Mattheo were as quiet as he would’ve liked them to be.

“What are you leaning towards?” You asked innocently, your eyes studying him. He bit the inside of his cheek as he considered how to answer.

“Let’s see,” He mumbled. “Malfoy thinks I should turn you in. He doesn’t see why you’re useful here, and says you’d be better suited as a healer for… them.” He decided not to say Death Eaters, but you flinched at the idea anyway. “Mattheo thinks I should keep you here.”

Your eyes didn’t leave him as you took another bite of your cereal. Theo mirrored you with the orange juice.

“But what are you leaning towards?”

“Not turning you in, that’s for damn sure.”

Your gaze pinned him, as your eyes narrow only slightly.

“So I’m stuck here then.” It was more of a statement than a question, and something about it made an ache burst through Theo’s chest. He had no idea how to respond, so he opted to say nothing, instead bringing the juice carton back to his lips. Your eyes followed him. ��Theo, you’re a rational person. You know that I don’t want to be here. Why can’t you just let me go back to the Order?”

His eyes fluttered shut.

“It’s complicated.”

You set the bowl down on the counter before looking back up at him.

“Then simplify it for me.”

All he could say in a breathy whisper was your name.

He didn’t know how. He couldn’t even simplify it for himself.

It all happens at once.

Theo quickly stands, pushing the chair out from under him so quickly that it glides across the floor and into the wall.

Weasley rushes forward, his wand pointed at Theo.

Mattheo grabs Weasley by the scruff of his shirt, roughly shoving him into the wall with the tip of his wand jabbing into the ginger’s jugular. The impact of his back against the hard surface causes Weasley to drop his wand, which Mattheo swiftly kicks across the floor.

Granger puts her wand only inches from Mattheo’s head, though he doesn’t appear to notice.

Theo directs his wand to Granger.

“The difference between you and I, Weasley,” Mattheo hisses in his face. “Is that I don’t have any pathetic qualms about making a person suffer. So please. Point your wand at one of us again. We’ll see who comes out the bigger man.”

“That’s enough, Riddle!” Granger shouts, pressing her wand into Mattheo’s temple. Theo steps forward and jams his wand through her hair and into her occipital scalp.

“Drop it.”

A beat passes.

Mattheo’s face twitches.

Granger slowly lowers her hand, her jaw clenched so tight that Theo is convinced her teeth will crack.

“We all want the same outcome,” She says in a quiet voice, still glaring daggers at Mattheo.

“It’s how we get there that we can’t seem to see eye to eye on,” Theo growls.

Letting his hand drop back to his side, Theo takes a step back towards the table he had previously been occupying.

“Let him go, Mattheo.”

The curly haired man glares into Weasley’s face for a moment longer, letting his deep breath smack against the ginger’s face before he shoves him away. Theo’s eyes follow Mattheo as he walks back to his pacing area, and then they flick back to Granger. She looks incensed over what just occurred, as Weasley adjusts his shirt, embarrassment painting his cheeks pink.

Theo opts to stay standing this time.

“She’s not a part of the equation,” He says in a low tone. “We can give you the maps, Finnegan and Lovegood for Malfoy. Or we can give nothing at all.”

A draft fills the room as the wind can be heard whipping outside over the silence.

“And again, we are well aware of Draco’s importance to the Death Eater army,” Granger says in a tone that matches Theo’s. “There is no option. It’s her or nothing.”

Theo fights the urge to curse her.

“Then it’s nothing.”

The door hit the wall so hard, Theo could almost feel the drywall dent. In the moment, however, he couldn’t give less of a shit.

You whipped around to face him. The anger on your face couldn’t be missed, but neither could his. For a while, the two of you just stared at each other, speaking through daggered glares and heaving chests, as if words weren’t necessary.

It was a moment of deja vu, calling back to the first time the two of you met in what became your assigned bedroom of the house. Both times equally as tense, but for radically different reasons. And this time, all of the pieces of furniture were entirely intact.

Finally, Theo broke the silence.

“What business do you have, entering the field?”

Your nostrils flared.

“What business do you have, almost getting yourself killed?”

A breeze came in through the window, chilling the room further. As if it needed the help.

“I was handling myself fine,” He said in a low voice. “Injuries are bound to happen-“

“A pelvic fracture and an open head wound are both severe injuries,” You countered in a raised voice. “You may have felt fine in the moment but you wouldn’t have after you lost two liters of blood just from the fractured pelvis alone. You needed care.”

Theo felt like throwing things as the anger flared heavily in his chest.

“I could’ve apparated back to the manor after-“

“You would’ve splinched yourself with that severe of injuries, Theo,” You snarled, looking exasperated. “Mattheo came and got me.”

Theo made a mental note to kick the absolute shit out of Mattheo the next time he saw him.

“You could’ve said no!” He shouted. “You’re not my bloody on-call healer who gets to risk her life whenever I almost die.” The image of you in the middle of the fight, dodging multiple green casts in your wake, was burned into his retinas. Despite being safe in the Manor now, his chest was still reeling from the panic that flooded his heart and lungs when he fought to get to you.

You took a rushed step forward.

“Don’t fucking do that,” You said in a strained voice. “You don’t get to drag my arse back into your life-“

“You think I wanted this for you?” He shouted, cutting you off. “I didn’t drag you anywhere. I didn’t bring you here. I didn’t ask for this.”

You took another step towards him, more controlled this time. Theo almost took a step backwards to keep the distance.

Almost.

“But you kept me here. Why am I still fucking here, Theo?”

The words left his mouth before his brain had a chance to even consider them.

“Because you fucking left me before I was fucking done with you!”

Theo’s chest heaved, as he stared down at you. The room became painfully silent, the only sound being Theo’s breathing. You were holding your breath.

“What does that mean?”

Theo didn’t hesitate for a moment.

“You left me to join the Order. You left me behind and I went bloody maniacal. I didn’t know a person could be touch starved for a specific set of hands, but your fingers burned their prints into my skin and I can’t get them to goddamn heal. And then Mattheo dropped you on my fucking door step and it was like I was an imprisoned man who just felt the warmth of the sun for the first time in years.”

You were frozen, staring at him like a deer in headlights.

“Theo…” A breathy whisper.

Theo shook his head, feeling a mix of anger and desperation in his head and heart. When he spoke, his voice was more calm this time, taking a low tone.

“If love were a language then the only one I know how to speak is the one we wrote together. I couldn’t lose you again. I can’t lose you again.”

It was unclear who moved first. Maybe Theo. Maybe you. Maybe both. But somehow, the distance between the two of you closed, and Theo’s mouth was crashing against yours.

His left hand was on the small of your back, the other on the back of your head. His fingers weaved through your hair with a firm grip, as if to keep you from pulling away. Your hands were on his cheeks, lightly cradling his head between your palms as your fingertips teased the beginnings of his hairline.

“I love you,” He said in a silent voice, his lips still pressed against yours in the desperate kiss. “I never stopped.”

“I love you too.” Your words came without a sliver of hesitation.

His tongue parted your lips, as your fingers moved to the back of his head. A groan forced its way up his throat. Your nails against his scalp drove him insane. It always had. Theo knew you knew that well.

And with that, he pushed you onto the bed.

“So…”

Theo closes his eyes at the sound of Mattheo’s voice. His steps are slow as they walk up the pathway of Nott Manor. In an effort to prolong the inevitable, Theo pulls a cigarette from his pocket, setting it between his lips before lighting it with his wand.

“We don’t have a choice, do we?”

Theo looks up at the sky as he blows a plume of smoke upwards to join the clouds. He can’t look at Mattheo.

“No,” He finally says. “We don’t.”

Mattheo pulls a smoke of his own out, lighting it before taking a deep inhale. The only sounds in the air are the wind and his exhale.

“What if we just stopped aiding them?” He suggested after a beat too long of silence. “They’re losing. They need the information we’re feeding them. A few weeks without it would have them feeding out of our palms.”

Theo considers this as he plops down on the top step leading onto the porch. The cold from the wood seeps through his trousers.

Not that his body held any warmth to begin with. Not since he walked out of that bar.

“We don’t have a few weeks.”

Another cloud fills the air.

“The Dark Lord wants Malfoy back now.”

Theo’s heart already feels hollow as he thinks about what he is getting ready to do.

Mattheo paces the cobblestone pathway, running his fingers through his curls as he takes another long drag of his cigarette.

“There has to be a way.”

Theo studies his friend. There’s very few people Mattheo holds loyalty to. The Order wasn’t on the list, despite the way they were risking everything to help them. The other Death Eaters didn’t have it. Hell, even his own father only held enough of Mattheo’s loyalty to keep him alive. Not enough for it to matter.

But Mattheo, from the moment they met until this moment in front of Nott Manor, was always fiercely loyal to Theo. And the way he desperately tries to come up with a solution to fix this for Theo pulls at his heart.

Because his loyalty to Theo also extends to you. When Theo told Mattheo that he was planning to betray Voldemort’s army in an effort to end the war and keep you with him, Mattheo wasted no time in joining him. No questions asked.

Mattheo was willing to risk his head to keep you safe if that was what Theo needed. And in this moment, Theo knew he didn’t thank his friend enough.

His hands shake slightly as he brings the cigarette back to his mouth.

“I don’t think there is.”

He doesn’t want to sound as defeated as he does. But as his mind runs a million kilometers a second, it still comes up short on a way of getting out of this.

Mattheo shakes his head angrily.

“This is bullshit.”

And Theo says nothing, his gaze fixed on the ground as he finishes his cigarette, and plans what he’s going to say once he goes inside.

Oh Merlin, do I really have to leave?

Theo sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at your sleeping form. Your back was facing him, the blanket low enough to show the bare skin of your upper torso.

He swallowed hard.

Five minutes. Just another five minutes.

But he knew he wouldn’t stop at five.

He was in his Death Eater robes, dressed to leave. This meeting wasn’t one he could afford to miss, and yet, watching you sleep in his bed was enough to make him at least consider it.

Reaching over, he traced the lines of your right scapula, moving down to the left, feeling your smooth skin and shoulder blades beneath his fingertips. Your body rose and fell with every breath you took, but you did not stir at his touch. He brushed your hair down to the side so it all fell concurrently onto the sheets.

Every time he tried to stand, his legs would defy him.

Bloody hell, this is impossible, he thought to himself.

The temptation to kiss you was strong, but he resisted. He didn’t want to wake you, because then you would know he was leaving, and then you’d ask questions. One’s he didn’t yet want to offer up the answers to.

You didn’t know what he was about to do.

The door creaked open, making Theo jump. Mattheo stood at the threshold, also in his robes. His eyes flitted between his friend and you, before they settled on Theo again. All he did was nod, a gesture that Theo returned, before turning and leaving once again.

A sigh forcing its way out of his lungs, Theo stood up from the bed. Before walking out the door, he threw one last fleeting glance your way.

This better fucking work.

Once the door to his bedroom was shut, Theo walked through the manor in a flash, before finding Mattheo standing in the front garden. His friend gave him a look, and it was not lost on Theo the anxiety in his expression.

“Are you sure about this?”

Mattheo’s words hung in the air, swirling around above them with the wind. Theo slowly let his head fall backwards as he stared at the sky. For once in his life, his thoughts weren’t racing. He was confident in this decision. He had never been more confident about anything.

“I’m sure.”

No more words were said.

Grabbing Mattheo’s forearm, the two men apparated. When they reappeared, it was in an empty warehouse in Sussex. Windows lined the walls just a meter or so below the ceiling. The walls themselves were painted an off white colour that left them looking dirty, with hand prints and muck dusting the paint. It felt too big, in Theo’s opinion. If this were to become a regular thing, they’d need something smaller. With seats, preferably.

The two got to work, placing wards and disillusionment charms everywhere they could. Before they knew it, a whole hour had passed, and they were just finishing up.

“You know I hate this right?” Mattheo asked as they regrouped in the center of the giant room. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Not what we’re doing necessarily but this meeting?”

Theo had to fight the urge to laugh.

“You think I like this any more than you do?”

Mattheo shook his head as he looked around the warehouse, taking in the metal beams that lined the ceiling.

Theo took the moment of quiet to get his thoughts in order. Ever since he sent that damn letter, he had dreaded this moment. And now it was here, and though he had spent countless hours stewing and preparing, right now, he felt completely naked and defenseless.

A sensation filled the air. Theo looked over at the same time that Mattheo did. The door creaked open, the sound echoing off the walls and around the air, before Hermione Granger, followed by Ron Weasley, the Weasley twins, Dean Thomas, Ginny Weasley, another Weasley they couldn’t place, and the blonde Triwizard Tournament champion from fourth year who Theo, for the life of him, could not remember the name of.

“All Gryffindors, mostly Weasels,” Mattheo mumbled under his breath. “Too much bloody red around here.”

Theo fought the impulse to laugh.

The crowd of Order members approached them, all looking apprehensive. Granger stepped forward, her eyes jumping between the two of them.

“Nott.” When her eyes bounced back to Mattheo, the disdain became more apparent. When she spoke again, she spat the word out. “Riddle.”

Mattheo gritted his teeth as Theo took a step forward, saving them the risk of what would happen if Mattheo were the next to speak.

“Granger.”

He debated on greeting the others, but decided against it. There simply wasn’t time for pleasantries. Besides, Theo didn’t particularly want to be polite to them. And he knew that Mattheo wanted nothing more than to raze the whole warehouse just because he saw that familiar flash of ginger hair one time, let alone several. So it was probably best to get right to the point.

“What’s this about?” The unfamiliar Weasley called out.

It was hard for Theo not to grow annoyed. The amount of people in the building had him feeling overwhelmed, though he couldn’t exactly blame him. How else should they have responded? It could’ve been a trap, for all they knew.

The moment Theo reached into his back pocket, a swarm of wands were pointing in his direction. In his periphery, he could see Mattheo’s fists clench. though he was grateful that his friend didn’t immediately start spitting off hexes and Unforgivables. Theo froze more out of politeness than fear, then slowed his movements down. With the same speed as a snail, he pulled out a couple of scrolls, tossing it on the floor halfway between where he stood and where she stood. The wands all moved to point at the scroll in the same way they would point at a bomb.

“Those are plans for upcoming raids on your safe houses,” Theo explained. “Now you can be better prepared.”

The reaction was comical. At least, to Theo, it was.

Granger stared at the scrolls, her mouth agape. Ron and Ginny kept their wands pointed at it in a way that suggested they were convinced it was anything but a scroll. The twins backed away from it entirely. Dean Thomas stared not at the scroll, but at Mattheo specifically, confusion painting his expression. The unfamiliar Weasley with the scars on his face jumped away when Theo threw the scroll, and had not moved since. And the blonde looked like she wanted to approach it, but was too afraid to let her feet move.

Granger was the first to speak.

“Why should we trust you?”

A draft filled the room.

“Trust us or don’t,” Mattheo quipped. “You’re losing. You’ve been losing. Pathetically. We’re guaranteeing you a win right now. Whether you decide to take that chance is up to you.”

The silence was deafening as the members of the Order all exchanged looks, looking absolutely flabbergasted by this turn of events. It was clear they were trying to have a conversation through their facial expressions. Every muscle in Theo’s body tensed as he waited for their reaction.

This has to work, He thought to himself.

This will work.

“What do you get out of this?”

Granger’s words hung in the hair, and though the question was for the both of them, her eyes were pointedly trained on Mattheo. When the two Death Eaters remained silent, she continued.

“You’re betraying your families. Your fathers. What could you possibly have to gain, besides maybe a pardon from execution if we win?” She sneers. “And even that isn’t guaranteed.”

Visions of you lying in his bed, only covered by the duvet cover, overtook Theo’s head. He found himself wondering if you’d woken up yet. If you’d eaten. If you’d slept well. If you’d realised he’d left. The lump in his throat felt like a bolder when he swallowed it down. His fingertips burned with the feeling of your bare skin underneath them.

Out of the corner of his eye, Theo sees Mattheo glance over at him.

This is, after all, Theo’s doing. So it’s his question to answer.

“Family isn’t everything,” Theo said in a low tone. “And some people are worth yielding for.”

Rise.

Fall.

Rise.

Fall.

It takes Theo a full half hour before he finally finds you in the manor. Here you are, curled up on the couch in the library with one of his robes covering you like a blanket. Your back faces him as your face is nuzzled against the fabric of the back of the couch.

Deja vu hits him hard.

Instead of waking you, Theo sits on the ottoman beside you and counts the amount of breaths you take. At the moment, he’s up to about sixty since he started. It’s easier on his heart to sit in the silence, only filled with your quiet snores.

It’s easier for his heart to handle than what it knows he has to do.

But he knows that he’s only prolonging the inevitable.

Letting out a deep sigh, Theo reaches over and places his hand on your shoulder, gently shaking you awake.

“Hey,” He says in a low voice in an attempt to not startle you. “It’s me. Wake up.”

Your head springs upward, looking around at the back of the couch before you roll over to face Theo. The way your eyes light up at the sight of him makes his heart ache in a way he’ll never be able to describe. It’s like he misses you before you’ve even left.

A soft yawn takes over your face for just a brief moment, and is quickly replaced with a tired smile.

“How’d it go?”

Theo bites down on the inside of his cheek so hard that he can taste blood.

I can’t do this.

You have to do this.

“Not great.”

The smile fades from your face. As quickly as your still waking up body allows, you sit up, rolling over to face him entirely. Theo sits up straight as you pause, watching as the wheels turn in your head to process what he had said.

“What happened?” Your voice is so small, and something about it gives Theo the impression that you already know where this conversation is about to go. He sighs heavily. The pain in his upper back makes it feel like he has the entire world on his shoulders.

“They wouldn’t return Malfoy to us,” He explains. In an effort to hide the shake in his voice, he speaks slowly. “They… they had specific conditions for his release.”

The hush blanketing the room is only pacified by the pounding in Theo’s ears.

If there is one thing about you that Theo knows deeply, it’s that you can’t keep your emotions off your face. So it’s to his great dismay that he watches your expression shift from confusion, to thoughtful, to realisation.

“They want me, don’t they?”

The words feel like a bullet each, piercing through Theo’s chest and implanting straight into his heart.

I can’t bloody do this.

“Yes.”

Suddenly, the quiet that overtakes the room is less welcome as that one single word hangs over the two of you like a storm cloud threatening a downpour. The way Theo’s mind runs a million kilometers a second makes it so deafening. He can see the conflict on your face as you consider what needs to be done. The downward cast of your sleep stained eyes and the way you curl your lip in thought makes him want to burn the entire Order to the ground so he doesn’t have to even consider losing you.

He sucks in through his nose as the hand on his knee clenches tightly into a fist.

When your eyes drift back up to meet his, matching resolve in your expression, Theo has to swallow down the urge to cry.

“When?”

His nails dig into his palm.

“Mattheo’s going to take you once you’re ready.”

A frown crosses over your face.

“You're not going?”

Theo can’t recall another time in his life where he’s felt as broken as he does now, looking into your sad stricken and confused eyes.

He’s losing you again.

“I can’t.” He swallows the lump in his throat that makes his words come out choked. “I… I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

He lets the rest of his thoughts remain left unsaid. That he would kill them before they could even leave the area with you. That he’d kill every last one of them for taking the only good thing he’d had during this god forsaken war. The entire reason he had broken his loyalties to the Dark Lord in an attempt to put it to an end.

And now, he has to watch you leave him.

Again.

Anguish and surprise conflict your face, making him take your hand in his and hold it tightly.

“I’ll figure it out, okay?” The desperation in his voice is so palpable that you can feel it bleeding onto the skin of your fingertips. Theo’s eyes never leave yours. “I’ll finish this. For you. For us.”

You fill the spaces between his fingers with your own.

You haven’t even left yet, but Theo begins to dread the ghost of your touch that will be left behind once you are. It’s a feeling he knows too intimately.

“What if we lose?” You ask him in a soft whisper. “Or what if one of us doesn’t make it?”

The air leaves Theo’s lungs, evaporating from the heat of your words.

He wants to dig a bunker and hide you in it, keeping you far away from the sins of the war and the pain of ever leaving his side. He wants to blow up the world and watch from space with you on his arm. He wants to do anything, literally anything that would take away the hurt in your eyes.

Images of the many ways he wishes to kill the Dark Lord and end this devastation flash through his mind.

“I need you to hear me when I say this,” Theo says in a slow tone. “I will do whatever it takes to ensure my return to you. Even if that means I have to blow through the gates of hell myself and crawl out of my grave. Make no bloody mistake. I will come back for you.”

#theodore nott #theo nott #theodore nott x reader #theo nott x reader #theo nott x you #theodore nott x you #theodore nott fanfiction #theo nott fanfiction #golden trio era #golden trio era fanfiction #.txt

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mustainegf · 7 months ago

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Soooo I had an idea about a kirk late 80s smut ...

Where he and the reader go to the cinema and watch a lame horror movie and kirk gets bored so he fingers the reader and when the movie finishes they fuck in the backseat of his car .

How are you guys so good at coming up with this stuff..? This is literally amazing, I hope I did it justice!

The movie flickered our bored faces. Kirk was so excited to see this new movie. It turned out to be another horror wanna-be. Briefly-it sucked.

I could tell Kirk was bummed, he wouldn't stop sighing. He did that pretty often whenever his mood soured.

Suddenly, there was a warmth on my thigh. I glanced down to see Kirk's hand gently squeezing, his thumb rubbing against the fabric of my pants.

The touch made me shiver with heat. I knew he wanted to get handsy. He always did. But even he knew he was pushing it.

I decided to let him do whatever, I knew he would keep it PG. At least I hoped.

I did my best to focus on the movie, but his hand was inching further up, snaking around to my inner thigh.

I gazed over at Kirk, he looked completely calm, watching the movie with a smirk on his pretty lips.

"Kirk." I whispered, afraid we may get caught.

Kirk complied, removing his hand. But just as I turned my gaze back to the screen, his slender hand slipped into my leggings.

"Jesus," I murmured, trying to keep my voice low.

My eyes darted around looking for anyone who may notice what we were doing. We weren't alone in the theater, although most of the seats were empty.

"Stay quiet for me, yeah?" Kirk instructed under his breath. He ghosted his fingers over my panties, applying the softest bit of pressure he could.

He didn't even have to tell me to keep my eyes on the movie. I knew the drill. "Spread your legs." His voice was low and thick. My core tensed at his words. I did what he said, slightly nudging my thighs apart.

He pulled my panties aside, the cool air hitting my teased heat.

His fingertip slid across my clit, causing me to gasp. "Shhhh," he whispered, his finger tracing my center again. He pushed two fingers inside me, eliciting a whimper from me.

He moved them in and out slowly, rubbing his thumb against my swollen bundle of nerves. A few minutes passed like this, him fucking me with his fingers while the movie played.

"K-kirk..." I breathed, quickly checking to see if anybody could see what he was doing.

He was far too good with his fingers, I had to fight not to moan out loud. His fingers were perfect, continuously curling at the exact right moment.

"Good job..." he watched my face tense and try to stay calm and keep my composure.

I could hardly take it, he knew exactly how to hit every spot.

"Kirk, stop," I turned to him, my breath labored.

Kirk pulled his fingers out of me, resting his hand as he looked at me. "What's wrong baby?" He asked softly.

"Can we go to the car?" I asked hastily.

He nodded, quickly pulling his hand from under my leggings, gathering up all of his things before standing up. Just as I stood up, kirk leaned to whisper in my ear. "I'm gonna ruin you," he snickered darkly, sucking off his fingers that were once inside me.

Kirk shut the door to the backseat of his car, my legs wrapping around him with need.

Kirk started kissing me, starting on my neck then moving to my mouth. His tongue entered my mouth, the taste of his saliva mixed with mine. Our tongues tangled together, exploring each other.

I reached between us, unbuttoning his pants and shoving them down his legs. I took his hard cock in my hand, stroking it up and down. I couldn't help but look at him. "Mh-" he groaned loudly at the sudden feeling, his head falling back.

He pulled my top up and off, kissing me hungrily as he trailed his way down my body, licking and kissing every inch of skin he could.

Kirk slid my panties to the side, replacing my hand on his cock with his own. I whined, wrapping my arms around his neck and melting into him.

"Lie back, Angel," he whispered huskily. My chest pressed to his as I sat on him, my head falling in the crook of his neck.

"Please put it in kirk," I whispered, my vision blurred by his curly hair.

"Hold still, pretty," he groaned, gripping my hip and pushing me down onto his erection. "Fuck!" I cried, stretching to accommodate his size.

He thrust forward, filling me completely. His lips brushed against my neck, his breathing heavy. Kirk held me there for a second, letting me adjust.

"You're so fucking tight for me," he groaned. He smiled down at me, flashing his adorable crooked teeth. He was such a cutie.

Sometimes it was hard to believe how he could get during sex based on his outside appearance.

Kirk began to wriggle his hips, filling me over and over.

“Mmh.. oh Kirk.." I whined, softly tugging his hair.

I imagined when he fingered me in the theater, how easily we could ve been caught, how good it felt to take that risk.

The car was bouncing slightly as Kirk bucked his hips upward, the windows beginning to fog.

"That's it," he murmured. I had to admit, this was far better than the shitty vampire movie we had once been watching.

"Talk to me, baby. I wanna hear that pretty voice." Kirk heaved.

I turned my head to the side, catching sight of our reflection in the window. Kirk looked so damn good. So handsome.

"Don't make me say it again," Kirk continued, his voice desperate and lustful.

"It's so-oh, so good!" I threw my head back with a groan. "I'm yours.." I huffed softly.

His thrusts quickened, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd bruised my insides. Kirk's mouth found its way to my breasts, sucking blooming purple marks.

He didn't stop, marking my chest with nips and love marks, kissing each hickey.

Whimpers spilled from his pinkish lips, I knew he was close.

It wasn't much longer until I came, both of us about to lose control. "Fuck, come on... come on..." he grunted, nearly blacking out with need.

"Yes! Yes!" he yelled as he released himself inside of me. His cum filled me, shooting deep inside my core. I clenched around him, squeezing him tighter. "So perfect," he sighed as he slowly withdrew from me.

I tried not to let my body give in, knowing I needed to pull myself together. Kirk looked down at me, his eyes passionate. He ran his knuckles along my jaw, caressing my cheeks gently. "God, you are so perfect..."

he said tenderly. I relaxed in his arms, cuddling to his warm chest. A small part of me wanted to just stay there forever, never going home.

Kirk chuckled softly, pushing a few stray curls out of his face. "Look what you've done to me," I giggled, peering down at my reddened and bruised chest and breasts.

Kirk laughed, running his fingers over his love bites. "They suit you," he raised his brows, flashing that dorky smile that I loved so much.

"And they'll be gone in a few days," he continued.

"Then I'll give you more," he giggled, giving me a quick peck.

#kirk hammett smut #kirk hammett #kirk hammett x reader #kirk hammett x you #metallica x reader #metallica fluff #metallica smut #metallica fanfiction #thrash metal #metallica #metal #heavy metal #fanfiction #smut #smutshot #kirk Hammett x Reader smut #reqs open #request #mustainegf

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hockeyboysimagines · 7 months ago

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hi!! Can you do romance prompt for Arber #9 “However many years we have left, I want to spend them all with you.”

you write him so sweet🥹thanks in advance I can’t wait to read it!

Thanks for this anon! Enjoy🤍

“Hey babe? What do you want for your birthday this year?” Arber asked from behind the laptop. You would be turning 20 next month, thankfully on a weekend free of games and practices. It gave him a free and open 4 days to cram everything celebratory he could think of for his favorite girl. You deserved it and now that he knew how unserious you thought of your birthday, he wasn’t going to let you get away easy. He’s gasped and nearly had a hissy when he found out you didn’t celebrate and hadn’t for a long time, scoffing at the suggestion that you continue with that theme. “Uh. No.” He said holding up a hand to silence you “We’re celebrating your birthday.”

“Nothing.”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head “Come on. Don’t be like that. I can’t take you out at midnight, so you have to let me get you something or throw a party.”

You leaned around the doorframe from where you were folding laundry to smile mischievously “Even if I was old enough, you would take me out where? You barely make it past 8pm every night.”

You weren’t wrong.

It wasn’t uncommon for Arber to suggest watching a movie only for him to asleep within the first ten minutes of it. He still glared at you either way. You were always giving him shit for the gap between your ages, though it wasn’t huge. Arber however felt most days like he was 80 years old, and being held together with screws and tape. So while he was only 4 years older, the constant beating his body took made the gap seem wider.

“What are you saying?” He turned completely around.

“I’m saying there’s no way you’d be able to party till all hours. Midnight is way past your bedtime.”

His mouth fell open “What did you just say to me?”

“You heard me. Old man.”

You immediately regretted it because the ‘Old Man’ in question was out of his chair and across the room before you even had time to scream. In one swoop he had you airborne and then on the bed with a squeal with an “OOF.” As you landed and bounced.

“Take it back.” He said fingers digging in to your sides.

You screeched and started to kick“Never.”

An all out wrestling war had started and you were losing until you heard a loud crack.

He shot straight up eyes squeezing shut “Oh Jesus!” He yelled, chuckling as he held his lower back.

“Careful grandpa.” You gasped out as you started laughing “You don’t wanna slip a disk.”

“You-“ but you had already slid out from under him and made to run before he caught you again and pulled you down on top of him.

“Okay okay you win. You win. Oh god, I think I threw my back out.”

You started laughing and took a deep breath attempting to untangle yourself and sit upright to straddle him “So when you kick it are you gonna leave me all your stuff?”

He made a face and closed his eyes “You say the sweetest things to me.”

You gave a little giggle and reached a hand forward to rub his shoulders. He closed his eyes and groaned head falling to the side “Oh my gosh that feels fucking phenomenal.”

“Your pretty beat up here.” You said tracing a finger over the scar from his shoulder operation and the scattered bruises from the game yesterday “How many good years do you think you have left?” He smiled and let out a low chuckle, eyes still closed and rested a hand on either side of your hips.

“However many years I have left, I want to spend them all with you.” A bunch of tiny butterflies started flitting around in your stomach and you smiled very slowly as he peeked at you out of one eye “Pretty smooth eh?”

“For a guy who’s almost halfway to 50 it wasn’t bad.”

He gave your hips a squeeze “Just promise me one thing. If there’s ever a time when I can’t get it up put me out of my misery.”

You gave him a smack and then a kiss.

“Deal.”

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princesslightgiggles · 5 months ago

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Date night

It had been weeks of playful banter, stolen glances, and the occasional note passed during history class. Eddie Munson, with his wild hair and devil-may-care attitude, had somehow managed to capture your attention. He was the class clown, always finding a way to make you laugh, and you had started to look forward to his antics every day.

One afternoon, as the bell rang and you both gathered your books, Eddie turned to you, his usual smirk replaced with a nervous smile. "Hey, Y/N," he started, rubbing the back of his neck. "So, uh, there's this movie playing Friday night. Thought maybe you'd like to go with me?"

Your heart skipped a beat. "I'd love to, Eddie."

Friday night arrived, and you met Eddie at the theater. The movie was a typical 80s action flick, but you barely paid attention. Halfway through, you rested your hand on Eddie's lap, your fingers idly tracing patterns on his knee through a hole in his ripped jeans.

Eddie's tensed under your touch, and you could feel his leg twitching slightly. When you glanced at him, he was biting his lip, trying to suppress a grin.

You continued throughout the movie, your fingers lightly scratching the skin through the hole in his jeans. Eddie squirmed in his seat, his attempts to remain still only making it more obvious that he was struggling.

After the movie, you both decided to take a walk. The night was cool, and the streets were quiet. As you walked, you couldn't help but bring up Eddie's fidgeting.

"Hey, Eddie," you began with a teasing tone, "you seemed a little… uncomfortable during the movie. Everything okay?"

He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, uh, you know, what you were doing to my knee…. tickled… I guess”

"Really?" you said, pretending to be surprised. "I didn't realise I was tickling you so much."

Eddie flushed and looked at the floor.

You noticed he was embarrassed and asked “Eddie, what’s wrong?”

He looked at you, uncertainty in his eyes. “I uh….. I dunno.” he shrugged and looked at the floor again.

“I uh…..” he tried again, but Eddie had no idea how to put into words that he’d never been tickled before, it wasn’t exactly part of his unconventional upbringing and he felt really self-conscious and didn’t know how to react. Another thing to make him feel like a freak.

Eddie knew this was a stupid idea. He couldn’t believe his luck that such a beautiful, smart, funny girl would be interested in him in the first place and now he was blowing it by being weird…..

Eddie was suddenly plucked out of his reverie as your lips met his. His breath hitched in surprise before he kissed you back, his worries melting away.

After a while, you gently pulled away and looked at him, brushing some stray hair away from his face.

You smiled, giving his waist a playful squeeze. This time, he jumped, letting out a yelp that echoed down the empty street, but he also laughed, more relaxed than before.

You skittered your fingers up and down Eddies ribs and giggles poured out of him as he batted uselessly at your hands. “Y/N……. hahaha….. please……. staahahahp!” You brushed his hips and he yelped and caught your wrists in his hands.

Eddie looked at you, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?"

"Maybe a little," you admitted, stepping closer to him. "But it's all in good fun, right?"

He smiled, nodding. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Without warning, you tackled him to the ground, both of you laughing as you continued to tickle him. Eddie's laughter was infectious, and soon you were both breathless, lying side by side on the cool grass.

Your lips met in a sweet, lingering kiss and you both knew this was just the beginning of something special. Eddie might not have had much experience with fun and games growing up, but he could feel he was going to make up for lost time with you.

#stranger things tickle #stranger things eddie #lee! eddie munson #ticklish eddie munson #stranger things fanfiction #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fluff

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adarkrainbow · 1 year ago

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Spooky season fairytales (3)

We saw how the myth of the witch was reinvented with "Hansel and Gretel". Our look at "Snow White" led us to vampires. To complete our triad of Halloween monsters, we just need a werewolf - and you know exactly which fairytale will come next in my "Spooky season" series.

It is no surprise that "Little Red Riding Hood" gave plenty of material to horror-movie makers and creators of dark fantasy. It is after all one of the darkest fairytales of France (because yes, fairytale historians have traced back the story's roots to France, before it was passed on by French immigrants eastward to Germanic countries). And when it comes to movies about Little Red Riding Hood, there is ONE movie that must be talked about...

"The Company of Wolves".

Who among fairytale fans hasn't heard of this brilliant, wonderful, poetic movie? It is one of those movies that truly manage to create a dark and haunting fairytale that FEELS fairytale-like. The plot is simple. It is a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood, in a "soft fairytale world" (things seem pretty normal, but there and there you have weird details, such as fur scarfs coming to life or eggs hatching jewels), and with a werewolf as the "big bad wolf". Or rather, the plot SEEMS simple - because this whole movie is framed as the dream of a modern-day girl, allowing for the story to unfold using dream logic and a heavy use of symbolism (perfect for a fairytale adaptation). Because this movie also explores the underlying motifs present in the original tale of sexuality, and the sexual maturation or blossoming of a young girl - this is due to the movie's original inspiration being the dark and feminists short stories of Angela Carter's "The Bloody Chamber". And because in the bigger Little Red Riding Hood tale, the movie intertwines folkloric European legends of werewolves, in all their disturbing glory.

This movie is truly great, and I cannot recommend it enough. It manages to be everything at once: a poetic dream, a magical fairytale, a disturbing horror piece, a sad tragedy... And it allies with greatness the creepy werewolf folklore of Europe with the fae charm of fairytales. Plus this 80s American fantasy movies goodness. And Angela friggin' Lansbury plays the grandmother! What else do you want? Even outside of a simple "Little Red Riding Hood" adaptation, this movie is one of the great "dark fairytale fantasies" of cinema.

This movie also calls for another piece, that is frequently put side by side with it (for... thematic reasons more than shared quality). I am talking of 2011's "Red Riding Hood".

I am placing this movie here not because I want to praise it, but just because... Well it exists, and I must make a mention of it.

This movie is not... not good. It's not bad, not good. It is definitively not the best Red Riding Hood movie, and if you want to see a werewolf Little Red Riding Hood movie, go watch "The Company of Wolves", it is the best and will never be overshadowed. But this piece... It is conventional and expected. It takes all the plot directions expected with a "dark fantasy mature take" on Little Red Riding Hood - nothing surprising or inventive. It is a "village plagued by werewolf" story, mixed with a "wolf hunt" making it a dark fantasy "whoddunit" which is not even trying its best to engage the viewer in the mystery, making everybody a superficial candidate... And it is also a very conventional "girl stuck between two boys" romance-teenage-triangle.

It has everything that is needed to explore Little Red Riding Hood, and everything that was well-done in "The Company of Wolves"... But it is all treated in a very flat and superficial way, making it a sort of "empty" piece. Little Red Riding Hood, the original tale, is meant to be a tale about desire and female sexuality and seduction, and so making the main character a young girl stuck in an impossible romance outside of the "straight path" of marriage is an interesting take... But it goes nowhere. Here and there you have this little sparks of interesting ideas or clever concepts - the pig-and-sheep masquerade at the celebrations, the silver fingernails of the werewolf hunter, the werewolf speaking telepathically to the character of Red Riding Hood (Valerie)... But they're just little crumbs in a big bland soup.

And there's also the problem of this movie taking itself too seriously and not having any self-awareness - making it so, personally, I couldn't take it seriously in the beginning. If you watch it,you'll see what I mean - by taking itself too seriously during specific moments, or playing too straight some passages, the movie makes itself ridiculous. Overall, not a great movie AT ALL, and to watch only if you enjoy your bland, neutral, average "dark romance in the middle of werewolf hunts" piece. But it exists, so it must appear somewhere.

After this stale piece, let's move on to...

Freeway, the 1996 movie

You'll frequently see it pop up in the lists of "dark fairytale movies" and "horror Little Red Riding Hood" adaptations - though to call this a "fairytale movie" is not a good description. As the tagline of the movie says, "Her life's no fairytale".

"Freeway" is an attempt at completely deconstructing the "Little Red Riding Hood" story by removing all form of magic or wonder from it, only leaving a disturbing, bleak, though still excentric and extravagant story. It is a dark comedy constantly oscillating between a violent and crude slapstick comedy, and a realistic horror movie. Featuring stars such as Reese Witherspoon and Kiefer Sutherland (and with music by Danny Elfman, no less!), this little cult movie is still the story of a girl wearing a red piece of clothing going to see her grandmother's house and encountering on the way a predator... Except the little girl in red is here a semi-illiterate teenage delinquant with anger issues in a red leather jacket... She is on the run from child services after her prostitute of a mother and her junkie of a stepfather got arrested... The "huntsman" is a pair of inefficient, though well-meaning, cops... And the wolf is a sociopathic, necrophiliac, serial killer.

This makes it all sound as if the movie was a dreary full horror piece - but it is actually not. The main character is a very excentric, fiery, fierce, though not that bright, girl who constantly fights backs with sass everything and everyone, there is a dark and morbid humor all throughout the movie balancing very sad and uncomfortable moments, many of the characters are disturbingly realistic caricatures or stereotypes pushed to cartoonish levels, and overall it all feels more like a very violent and grand-guignolesque crime piece/road trip.

I want to mention another movie while talking about "Freeway" - the 2000s movie known as "Hard Candy". You will often find this movie on lists of Red Riding Hood adaptations - DO NOT GET FOOLED! "Hard Candy" is not a Little Red Riding Hood adaptation. It is a very bleak, very hard to watch, very creepy horror movie about mental and physical torture, and exploring the various aspects of human perversion, in a confined setting with a limited cast of characters - and yes, it does invoke a "Red Riding Hood" imagery... but just in the opening and advertising, and the movie has nothing to do with the fairytale. You can watch it if you want, but be ready, because it is one of those movies that mess up your stomach and your soul, and it is not for the faint of heart, as it is a VERY very bleak piece.

"Freeway" is also bleak, but in a more campy way (yes, you can have "campy bleak") typical of dark comedies. And "Freeway", unlike "Hard Candy", is an ACTUAL Little Red Riding Hood adaptation. Not only does it base its story and characters on the fairytale, making sure to have the key-moments of the original plot, and the character archetypes explored (the big bad wolf becoming a serial killer predator) or deconstructed (Little Red Riding Hood is still a dumb girl hunted by the wolf, but she fights back and is ready to kick ass and is used to the most vile sides of humanity), but it also fully embraces one part of the Little Red Riding Hood heritage. The cartoon adaptations of the first half of the 20th century - those little short cartoons that heavily explored the fairytale in a caricatural way, especially sexual (like the very famous Tex Avery short). Not only are there direct references to those cartoons in the movie, it also fully embraces the entire ambiance. The "slapstick" and "cartoonish" feels of this movie come right from there. Yes, they removed all the magic and wonders to have a sordid realistic tale, yes this is a borderline true crime story about a serial killer, and an ineffective police system, and what it is like growing up in poverty, drugs and prostitution... But it embraces the feel of the classic Looney Tunes/Tex Avery cartoon world, with extravagant caricatural characters, and an abundance of senseless unexpected violence that doesn't even feel real sometimes. And by making all that, the movie reinstills a form of "magic" in the tale - but this "cartoon" magic which is able to make disturbing moments about a human-looking monster trying to kill you look ridiculous and almost laughable as if it was some sort of clown performance.

Overall this movie is a really bizarre little piece that reflects a very specific type of cartoonishly-comedic-but-still-bleak-and-morbid small movies that tend to frequently pop up in the USA. You know the ones, these pieces that are about disturbed subjects or tragic characters, but are still made in such bizarre and unexpected ways they almost verge on surreal comedy - like Lynch's Wild at Heart (which itself was a "fairytale" take somehow, since it is technically speaking a Wizard of Oz movie) or the Harmony Korine movies.

And to close off this post, a special mention to a classic movie of the Halloween season...

Trick 'r Treat, THE Halloween horror movie by Michael Dougherty (the man who later was behind THE new classic Christmas horror movie, "Krampus")

Trick 'r Treat was Dougherty's attempt at creating an iconic "mascot" for Halloween, in the person of Sam, the little creepy-costumed child/demon enforcing the rules of the old Celtic holiday... This dark, fun, morbid, perfectly Halloween-y movie, developed out of previous animated short-films, is actually an anthology piece collecting a handful of various stories... And the reason this movie appears on this list is because of the segment "Surprise Party", which is heavily referencing "Little Red Riding Hood". An unsecure young woman is invited by her outgoing friends at an Halloween party in the woods, and she picks up a Little Red Riding Hood costume, but as she is making her way throughout the city in a full Halloween parade, she realizes a strange man is following her... There is a twist, so I won't reveal much (beyond the fact it all implies vampires and werewolves stories), but the important thing is how the twist is delivered, and how the segment ends. A scene wich has marked the cinematic lore of the creature it depicts, and which has also influenced a LOT of people on the Internet during the end of the 2000s (for example, boosting up the "Sweet Dreams" cover of Marilyn Manson)

#spooky season fairytales #spooky season #dark fairytales #horror fairytales #fairytale movies #halloween movies #little red riding hood #the company of wolves #freeway #trick 'r treat

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tsuchinokoroyale · 6 months ago

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I’d love to hear more about your thoughts on JJK. Admittedly, I’m not well versed in shonen, so I never even considered that it was trying to subvert the genre.

P.S. Thank you for the consistently thoughtful takes and hot ass 😘

Ooooo boy I hope you’re ready for a whole ass essay 😎😎😎

Shonen as a genre has changed over time as any art form does, but it is still mired in tropes that can be traced back to the classics. The shonen genre is thus named bc its target demographic is boys to young men, for our discussion we’ll say teenage boys. While it obviously has big appeal for other demographics, it is mainly designed to both appeal AND communicate life lessons to that crowd of impressionable kids.

Because of this dual function you get this really odd genre full of super powerful special boys who love their friends but have no qualms about slaughtering their enemies. They typically espouse lessons about the merits of hard work, sticking to your beliefs ((so long as your beliefs are beneficial to society at large)), of goodness and friendship triumphing over evil. Look no further than DBZ and Naruto which can broadly be divided into Battle Arcs and Training Arcs, upping the ante for our special boy main protagonists until we literally have them fighting gods as the logical extreme of continuous escalation.

The Standard™ Shonen formula has a boy main protagonist who’s got some sort of motivation that is so ideologically pure that he’s basically impossible to defeat. Goku loves to fight, Naruto wants to be hokage, Tanjiro wants to cure his sister and slayer all the demons, etc. He forms/joins a band of merry outcasts with their own tragic backstories and sets out to defeat whatever villain appears for that arc. If they win, arc is over move onto training arc, if they lose, they train, fight and win, then train some more. The fun of the genre comes from the colorful side characters, and the little twists that come with each battle system, which brings us to Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure.

At the time JJBA was being published, the big influence on manga was big beefy male led 80s action movies and Fist of the North Star, a manga about a beefy martial artist named Kenshiro going around beating baddies in a post apocalyptic world. Battle systems in Shonen were usually incredibly soft, most tied to physical combat enhanced by some poorly defined life force energy that could be called upon to even out fights and give big climactic finishes, like Ki from dragon ball and their iconic kamehamehas. Even JJBA starts off this way, with our beefy boys learning Hamon/Ripple and duking it out with vampires, til my man Hirohiko Araki was like “mmmm this is kind of limiting. Time to Change Everything~” and he came up with the concept of Stands, incredibly limited psychic/magic abilities that manifest as furries or sexy robots or a Lego version of the White House (?). You can see this idea really grow and expand within the part it’s introduced, going from “fire furry” and “robot knight with sword” to “guy whose stand turns into a ball that immediately erases anything it runs into but he can’t really see what he’s attacking since he has to be inside his stand in order for it to work also his name is Vanilla Ice and he’s a vampire in a thong.”

You can FEEL the impact this had even to this day. Stands became Jutsus in Naruto, quirks in MHA, Nen in HxH, Cursed Techniques in JJK. And part of what made it fun was that it added strategy to the mix! Str8 physical fights are hard to strategize bc it’s basically just a numbers game, right? Like bc his power level is over 9000, it’s going to be a tough time until some plot contrivance and/or training occurs to drive *my* power level over 9000. But now there is an additional layer of *how* these powers interact.

My ability is to blow bubbles and his ability is to turn a single person who comes into contact with bodily fluids into a mindless zombie? Create bubble shields so they can’t splash blood on you. My ability is to fold anything into origami and if you touch the origami you begin to see one object as something else and his ability is an automatic tracking stand that hunts me down by creating face shredding tornados when I breathe? Make a city bus look like my dad ((part 8 is fucking nuts)).

As you can tell, JJBA really burst open the dam on creativity, but as per the examples I’ve given they can often feel very… silly and contrived. The Serious Anime Fan™ will complain and say those fights are full of asspulls, which they are, but that’s very much part of the fun of the series. BUT because diversity is the spice of life, you also get artists who are less interested in adhering to the Rule of Cool and more interested in making things explicitly “logical” which is how we get Hunter x Hunter.

While JJBA dabbles in using stands for characterization, HxH goes HARD into it. Nen abilities are ((usually)) manifestation of their user’s idea of power, creating a direct link between who that person is and what they can do as a result. This is balanced by people having innate Nen types which means the kinds of abilities they can use are limited, though there are rules restrictions and exceptions to this as well. We know all of this bc mangaka Togashi literally gives a college level lecture on Nen in the story, describing how it manifests, how it works, what it can and can’t do, and how individual rules can supersede the basic set of rules and the rules for doing that. I call this style Erudite Shonen, bc bitches be TALKING. In erudite Shonen, powers usually fall on the complex side, even Bungee Gum, which has the properties of both rubber and gum, can be used in insane ways like ricocheting bullets, gluing minors together, and/or cheesing a game of dodgeball and it’s all both shown AND told.

Now where does JJK fall into all this? Listifying the common Shonen tropes we have A Special Boy main protagonist with a pure motive, a crew, goodness triumphing over evil, prioritizing bonds and community over selfish gain, and the winning power of hard work.

Early JJK fits the mold pretty well. Yuji Itadori starts off the series special, with superhuman fitness before he ingests sukuna’s finger at which point he becomes a Naruto analog, where he is strong because he has a powerful spirit trapped inside him. He has the rather off kilter but still acceptable goal of “dying a proper death”. His squad of mentor Gojo, Fushiguro, and Kugisaki is established by episode 3. The villains are cursed spirits who want to eradicate humanity, the good guys are the jujutsu sorcerers who say “no u” to that. Yuji wants to gain power to protect others instead of just becoming powerful himself. And there’s a training arc! Sure, it happens after Yuji gets his heart ripped out, but he’s not even dead that long. Even the powers in early JJK present themselves as pretty simple, Fushiguro does shadow summoning, Kugisaki does hammer and nail resonance, panda, Inumaki does cursed speech.

It wears its darkness on its sleeve however, presenting Junpei as a potential future team member only to shockingly kill him. The whole star plasma vessel incident casts an unflattering light on Jujutsu society. But none of that COMPARES to the shitshow that happens in Shibuya, where JJK finally shows its real hand.

Over the course of the Shibuya arc, we watch our protagonist mount an offense against the villains that have been building themselves up over the course of the show, sacrificing so so much just to ultimately… lose. The Shibuya arc subverts not just idiosyncratic plot beats but story telling traditions as well. “The strongest” loses, multiple fan favorite characters are either taken out of commission or outright killed, the story progression slams the fast forward button as Yuji goes from having ingested 4 out of 20 fingers to 15/20 resulting in mass civilian casualties because his version of the 9 tailed fox is an actual monster, and ((meta-narratively)) worst of all, Yuji doesn’t even get to defeat his arch-rival, Mahito. Instead Mahito is unceremoniously absorbed by other big bad Geto/Kenjaku. It’s supremely unsatisfying and the weight of the tragedy is so immense you wonder how our heroes are gonna come back from this.

And thus begins the “deconstruction” phase of JJK. Cuz they just… don’t. As dark as Shibuya got, a standard Shonen would then go on to give the heroes a big fat W, some sort of come back after all that. But not JJK! Bc JJK is subversive 😏 this means the fact that the story is super unsatisfying is like, the point mannnn. This isn’t the worst thing that can happen. Chainsawman is also a story of major L’s and minor W’s and it’s my #1 favorite modern manga series. The difference is in intent, however. Chainsawman works as well as it does bc at its core, it loves Denji. He REALLY goes through the ringer, but it’s all in service of understanding what life is like for someone trapped on the hedonic treadmill and how one can ((attempt anyways)) to break out of it.

And then there’s JJK. It truly feels like the manga is designed to tear Yuji’s self sacrificial mindset to shreds for the sake of making him suffer and for the reader to feel bad for ever feeling like good has to triumph over evil. The real problem is, it feels as if the series is bending over backwards to make this shit happen.

Part of the change over is what was a previously simple-ish battle system goes full Erudite Shonen. There were hints that cursed energy could get more complicated, what with domain completion competition and guaranteed hits and simple domains and that one guys FPS ability I can’t explain. But we go FULL HxH level afterwards. All of a sudden oxygen delivery to the brain becomes important to cursed technique, there’s domain range and boundary fidelity and incomplete domain properties, disruption of somatic components becomes a factor, and… it honestly feels like utter nonsense at times.

Complexity isn’t bad, like I mentioned I LOVE HxH and could probably explain the chrollo-hisoka fight if you gave me a few hours to study, but I could not tell you all the new rules for cursed energy that seem just kind of invented on the spot in random chapters during this back half of JJK. Bc they involve concepts never really mentioned before, it feels like an asspull, like this was something made up to force the situation at hand. Thing is, more of those situations only benefit the villains. You get shit like a character winning a battle at the end of one chapter and then starting the next one to find they were killed off screen moments later, actually. It’s just like yeah it’s subversive, but the reason stories aren’t told like this is bc this shit sucks lmao. I think out of all the plans the heroes make like only a handful of them are actually successful, and even then they get so unwound by the next step in the plan that they may as well have not happened. It doesn’t help that the abilities are so complicated now you’ll get a chapter dedicated to explaining what one guy can do just to have him wiped off the face of the earth the next one.

So the crew is gone, our special boy is actually the most disempowered guy ever except for the fact that he can’t be killed for some reason, the good guys are NOT doing a great job standing up to evil since like 86% of their plans fail or have bad results, a gag character wins one of the most important fights in the story and it’s unironically the best thing JJK has done in a while, and it’s all just a very confusing slog to read. This is the danger of writing subversion for the sake of subversion with intent for contempt, kids 😮‍💨

Granted we aren’t at the end of the story yet so maybe I’ll be wrong and there’ll be like a reset button that fixes everything (( which would also suck )), but yeah. JJK wants what HxH did in the chimera ant arc but forgot that that story was possible bc it was fundamentally about humanity and love, not just the parts about how people suck and goodness can fail.

If you made it this far congratulations you’re entitled to one big kissy on ur forehead from me and barnaby 😚😚😚

#no one is allowed to tell me how many words this is I don’t want to know #0 note post here we fucking gooooooo #this one goes out to the girlies who don’t understand why I’m single I’ve got yer explanation right hereeeee 😅

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listening-to-thunder · 7 months ago

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City Hunter 2024

Don't mind me I just watched a live action adaptation of the show I absolutely imprinted on as a little fan sprout in the late 80s/early 90s and I have feelings?! (Tl;dr - the adaptation is so faithful I am so happy.)

So yeah. I watched the (censored) French version of the City Hunter anime during summer vacations and then languished as Sweden did not have City Hunter (or anyone who had heard of City Hunter, other than my little brother). So I did stuff like...record it on VCR, pause the VCR, and trace character portraits off the prickly cathode-ray tube TV. (Screenshot technology has come a long way!)

Later on I read the entire un-censored manga (with the original names restored!) in French, and downloaded the Japanese songs from some pages I found on AltaVista (which took forever on modem), and brough the full set back in Japanese after I lived there for a while. And then I found out there is an official "megafan gets transmigrated into the story"-manga about City Hunter, and I read that, too.

Basically: I have had this story in my life forever, and watching the live action movie now gives me echoes of all those feelings I had as a lonely fannish kid. Which is a weird feeling, but not in a bad way, because the live action adaption (not the first, but the first Japanese one!) is...good? It's fun! And it's as faithful to the original story as it could possibly be while also being updated for the 21st century in the best ways?

Okay, I'm just gonna dive in!

I love how prominent Shinjuku is in the live action. It's gorgeously shot, and you can really feel a sense of place. The characters always talk about "this city", and Shinjuku is that city.

And right off the bat Suzuki Ryohei gets to shine in a fun, fast fight scene with a manga flair to it!

Everyone in Shinjuku knows Ryo-chan! And here's where I will admit to my own ignorance, because reading in translation at a young age I honestly don't know if the manga touched on how Shinjuku as a place where the queer community meets? But here the owner of the bar Ryo rushes through is a glorious okama!

Saeba Ryo and Makimura Hidekyuki and HI MY FEELS. (I will probably get back to how much I adore that Ryo is played by an actor who's hit 40 - but Andou Masanobu is nearly 50?! HOW.)

YES GOOD the iconic coat from the manga (that I like a lot more than the silly little anime jacket) running down the streets of Shinjuku as the equally iconic red car (an old Mini Cooper?) races past the neon lights.

Oh man I have cried about this scene so many times. And here I just love how they got the dramatic rain in, despite the circumstances and setting of Makimura's death being different. That's what a good adaptation does: keeps things recognizable to the existing fans, while transforming it to something new and exciting. (I almost didn't see it coming because I kept thinking "It's not raining"...!)

Not to be shallow or anything but...HOT DAMN. Suzuki Ryohei!!!!

This was so delightful! Everyone was having such fun with the Mokkori Dance, and I am thrilled that they found a way of showing this side of Saeba Ryo without making him a sex pest. The mood whiplash from drama to the most frivolous silliness is extremely City Hunter, and the movie wouldn't have felt right if they hadn't nailed this. (With Ryo nudity. I am. Not complaining at all.)

Kaori's stare. Ryo's confidence. Perfect. No notes.

And then we get some T&A... and it's QUEER AS FUCK?! Instead of a strip club, in 2024 the Shinjuku nightlife scene is beautiful people voguing with a fabulous drag queen MC!

Showing off Ryo's impossibly good aim by following the bullet through a crowded nightclub was fun but again: look at this Shinjuku!! It's queer and diverse and I love it.

I could not believe how Suzuki Ryohei somehow manages to move like a manga character? He is so fast and so believable as a supernaturally good shot! I also liked how Ryo hid his gun as soon as he'd fired it - the enemy had already spotted him, so it wasn't that he was afraid of giving himself away? But he doesn't want to have a gun out at a queer nightclub, where it could start a very understandable panic.

Again with the Shinjukuness of it all...! Ryo's car is parked outside the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building (it was my favorite place to go hang out if I had time to kill in Shinjuku) - I think they're up in the observation deck, too?? The layers of nostalgia for me... it hits hard...

SPEAKING OF HITTING HARD I love that they gave Kaori her mallet!!! YES. (And they made up a cosplay event for it, where there was a tiny bit of T&A - but where the cosplayers themselves were making sure they looked as good as possible, showing off their assets!)

This is art to me.

Saeba Ryo. Stallion of Shinjuku. Blocking creepy otaku and audience alike from getting panty shots while not peeking under her skirt and also the horse head is his penis and...

This will take some processing. (While I giggle.)

THE most City Hunter shot of the entire movie. The crosshairs! Ryo shoving someone (Kaori) out of the way of a bullet! The bullet grazing his arm!! SHOOTING BACK AT THE SNIPER. Everything. Everything is perfect.

I am looking...respectfully...?

Their poses, the city... this whole scene felt like watching the manga come to life. Kaori needs a hug and Ryo hasn't gotten to the point where he can do "emotional support" in any other way than "revenge". Ahhhh the angst.

The movie's fights are so much fun to watch, because they have Ryo being a superhero with a gun (or: several guns), and then Kaori running around terrified but also so determined to actually fight. She shoves things on people! She hits that one guy with a pipe!! I love her so much.

IT'S THEM

FEELS ARE HAPPENING

(Ryo still doesn't do "hugging", but at least he's letting Kaori sob on him this time?)

Yes shooting a guy with an upside down revolver pointing behind you is exactly what I want from City Hunter, thank you! (Also the intensity Suzuki Ryohei brings out for Ryo's protective streak... It's so good...)

I just know that I am missing a ton of Easter eggs...! (I would be surprised if the framed drawing of a revolver isn't Hojo Tsukasa's art, though.)

And here we go! Now they're roommates! Kaori has her mallet! And her 80s manga outfit...! Aaah!!!!

Though they both wear shoes indoors which... I suppose even though they live there, the building isn't..."home"-coded? (I mean having that much real estate in the center of Shinjuku actually requires more suspension of disbelief than the gun magic...).

Anyway: it's THEM!

Sequel when? I really, really want one. They did such a fabulous job with this story, I want to see them do more!!

#city hunter netflix #city hunter #idk i need some kind of tag for when i just go off about something extremely niche??#notes

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t4tower-of-t4terror · 2 years ago

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In the Golden Afternoon

♢Cater Diamond x gn reader fluff♢

Warning: a bit suggestive, but not by much

Cater rarely let his true self show.

He hid his emotions under a mask of cheerful bubbliness. He was so used to being either too much or not enough. So it was better to just hide it all.

But not with you.

Of course, it had taken a while to get here. Months and months of mutual trust just to get to the point of honesty between you. But it was worth it in this moment.

Cater layed on the small Ramshackle bed, curled close to you. He wore a cropped pajama shirt and soft pants. The collar of his shirt was cut low and the hem raised above his navel. You could see the freckles that dotted his shoulders and dipped low onto his chest. You often found your eyes tracing against the sharpness of his collarbones or the softness of his stomach, before you internally chided yourself for being so lecherous, even if he was your boyfriend.

Cater's soft ginger hair was out of its usual pompadour and it fanned against your pillow like a halo. He was almost completely bare of his usual makeup. Cater wasn't wearing the concealer that hid his natural freckles and he had already washed off his painted-on diamond. All that was left was the smudged remains of red eyeliner under his eyes.

His laptop rested between you, playing an 80s movie about high school and murder. But honestly you had stopped paying attention to the movie about a half hour ago.

Instead, Cater was focused on where your face rested in the crook of his neck. He focused on how soft breaths left your barely parted lips. He focused on your tangled legs and where your hands idly traveled up and down his side, innocently tracing the bend of his hipbones.

You huffed softly when he turned to face away from you for a moment. He rummaged through his bag to get something before laying back down and returning your cozy spot curled against his side, arm draped across his stomach. You nuzzled closer to him before your gaze flicked upwards, curious about what he had to retrieve.

Your interest was piqued when you saw his lip balm. It was in a cute, diamond-shaped, package. It smelled like cherries. You watched as Cater dragged the rounded, light red edge of it over his plump pink lips. Even as he closed the package, your eyes were glued to Cater's lips.

"See something you like?" Cater's voice was teasing, a mischievous sparkle in his emerald green eyes.

"Of course I do. I'm looking at you," came your quick reply.

Cater cupped your face with his hand. You nuzzled your cheek against his palm. You lifted your head until you were staring at each other. You could feel the warmth of his breath as it fanned against your face. It was you who closed the gap.

Kissing Cater was always wonderful. The first time was just as magical as the second and the third and the fourth. You could kiss Cater a thousand times and it would still feel just as amazing as it did the first time.

His lips were soft. They were always so so soft. It felt like heaven when Cater pressed his soft, warm lips against your skin. The kiss was lazy and tender. Cater preferred actions to words when the two of you were on your own. So he only leaned into your touch when your hand tangled into his ginger hair to deepen the kiss.

You felt Cater's lip balm smear against your lips. Despite it's fruit scent, it's flavorless. It doesn't matter, though, because you can't focus on the taste of Cater's chapstick when you pull his bottom lip between your teeth and he gasps against your mouth.

You feel the heat of his skin as you press closer against him. You can feel the softness of Cater's loose crop top as one of your hands grab at the fabric. You want to be closer. You don't want this bliss to ever end.

But you both need air eventually. Your eyes flutter open as you pull apart, connected by a thin strand of your mixed saliva. You're both softly panting as your eyes flicker up to meet his. You scoot back down to snuggle against his chest again.

"I guess we should restart the movie," Cater said with a soft smile.

You had almost completely forgotten about it in the heat of the moment, but a quick look at the screen showed the credits rolling.

"I guess we should," you laughed, watching as his eyes crinkle.

He presses the restart button as he cards his fingers through your hair, pressing a soft kiss against the top of your head. Even after everything you've done tonight, you can feel your face burn at the tenderness of the action.

"I love you," you say softly, looking up at him from your cozy spot on his chest.

"I love you too," the response comes to Cater naturally.

Cater doesn't need to put on a fake act to tell you he loves you. It's the truth. And it's the one truth he will never hide.

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst fluff #cater diamond x reader #twisted wonderland cater #cater x reader #cater diamond #cater twst #cater twisted wonderland #twst disney #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fluff

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timchalamet-devoted · 2 years ago

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Stranger on aisle seven

I actually really like this one 🤭

It's inspired by a number of things, but mainly that old type of love in the 80s movies. I like to imagine that it is set around that time, but there isn't anything that implies this in the one-shot, so it's up for interpretation!

Fluffy and sweet 💕✨️

Summary: The reader is on another typical grocery trip when she discovers a handsome new stranger that just moved to town.

Pairing: fem reader x Timothée

----------------------------------------------------

As summer rolled around, you once again found yourself in Italy. It was a small town, where you had spent your summers ever since you were little. You knew it like the back of your hand, and the familiarity brought a strange sort of comfort. It was like your own little secret.

Naturally, you knew everyone in the town, and new visitors were very scarce.

It was 10 pm as you pushed open the heavy metal doors of the local supermarket, walking in. Inside it was cool, a refreshing contrast to the humid summer air outside. You grabbed a basket off the rack and made your way toward the aisles, reciting what you were after. As you turned into one of the aisles, you caught sight of a stranger, one you've never seen before.

"Must be new," You thought.

You took your time to examine the newcomer, and you had to admit, he was very handsome. He had vivid green eyes, messy dark curls that cascaded around his face, a generous dusting of freckles, and a slender figure. He traced his finger over the items on the shelf, eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought.

You strolled down the aisle, but as you passed the stranger, you swore you could feel his gaze on you. You brushed it off and continued into the next aisle, remembering something that you needed.

As you scouted for the right cereal, out of the corner of your eye you saw him appear by your side. Your heart rate picked up slightly, and all of a sudden you found it difficult to focus your mind. Finally, you found what you needed and moved on to a different section of the store.

You bumped into him several times more throughout your time shopping, each time stealing quick glances at this beautiful boy, careful to look away before he noticed.

Just before you headed for the checkout, you wandered into the sweets and snacks division, recalling your friend's request. To your delight, your favourite song came on, and you started to gently bob your head to the beat.

After a little while, footsteps sounded behind you, and somehow you already knew who it was.

He crossed to the other side of the shelf, head bowed down, in thought once again.

Your eyes travelled up, admiring the boy, however to you dismay you weren't fast enough to look away this time: his head shot up and for the fist time your eyes met.

You flushed a bright red as a small smirk played on those pink lips. You hated how amused he was, although it was undeniable you were glad to finally be able to register his features properly.

The two of you stood there for some time, eyes locked on one anothers. It came to you suddenly that he was mouthing the words to the song that still played on the speakers. A smile appeared kn you face to accompany that smirk of his.

Painstakingly slowly, step by step you proceeded to his side of the shelf. You held out an arm which he gladly shook.

"Y/n" you stated. "And you," You paused looking up at the sign hanging above your heads, "stranger on aisle seven?"

soft giggle escaped his mouth, as he turned to face you completely.

"Timothée, lovely to meet you..."

#timothee #timothee chalamet #timothée #timothée chalamet #timothee imagine #timothee x reader #timothee x y/n #timothee fluff #timothee blurb

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laxmiree · 2 years ago

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[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Crazy date translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Translation under the cut!

(T/N: Very recommended to follow along the date because hnghh, I have never heard him this happy and alive before 😭. Sadly, I don't have this card, so I can't subtitle it myself. But you can check the date recording here in this link.)

The sea breeze passed through the moonlight, bringing the warmth of winter to the south.

I was leaning in Lucien's arms, watching the gripping movie plot on the projector with great interest.

Keeping the same position will inevitably make my back ache, but I don't want to leave his arms.

Just as I adjusted my posture for the third time without making any noise, a soft pillow was placed under my waist.

MC: ...?

Raising my head in a daze, I met Lucien's smiling eyes.

MC: How can you still catch my little move?

Lucien: If it hadn't been for the fact that you made me feel a little tickled, maybe it won't be so quickly discovered.

I laughed and rubbed against the crook of his arm before looking back at the screen.

A few days ago, Lucien was invited to a New Year's Eve party hosted by his research colleagues. The party isn't formal. It's mainly for relaxation and communication.

So at his suggestion, I was happy to accompany him. We arrived early and rented a small manor to start our vacation time.

During the day, we walked around with the camera, and at night we nestled on the sofa, drinking wine and watching movies.

No work and no worries, just a happy and relaxed us.

??: Mary, I've figured out that even if my life were to stop tomorrow, I would still be on the end of the road

Mary: Then I'll go crazy with you and accompany you until the end.

The main character, who has been sentenced with the "death penalty" is dressed in a hospital gown. But his pale face is radiant as he and Mary dragged the IV and ran toward the hospital gates.

The sunset dragged their long shadows, and they took a long way away with each step. It was only when the gorgeous images jumped out of the black end credits that I realized the film was over.

After exhaling a deep breath, I noticed elderly people with gray hair appearing on the left side of the credits one by one.

??: Love is the most important thing in the world.

??: Life is always crazy. You want it? Just get it!

I was deeply touched by their sincere advice to young people, and I felt as if there was a hot fire burning in my heart.

Perhaps in the long road, I also need to have this impulse to run for the heart's desire more often.

MC: Lucien...

While thinking, I sat up and looked earnestly into those long, narrow eyes.

Lucien: What to do? I seem to have guessed MC is about to stir up troubles.

(T/N: 蠢蠢欲动 is an idiom meaning to begin to stir (idiom) / to get restless / to become threatening)

He raised his chin and narrowed his eyes. His magnetic voice fell on my ears.

Lucien: (whisper) You seem to want to do something you've never done before.

Lucien: Just like the protagonist of this movie, he leaves some out-of-the-ordinary, crazy traces in this world.

MC: ...

He said it almost perfectly and even poetically summed it up for me. I pouted and lightly jabbed him on the arm.

MC: No fun. I just ignited three minutes of enthusiasm, and then 80% of it was doused by a clever man!

He intentionally frowned in distress, took me into his arms, and nuzzled against the tip of my nose.

Lucien: (in that grieving tone) So what should I do? I don't know if I have a chance to atone for it...

Lucien: Let's get your three-minute enthusiasm going again.

His eyes rested between my lips almost imperceptibly. Without waiting for me to react, a soft sensation gently sealed my breath.

He slowly teased and nibbled on my lips as if trying to increase the heat little by little.

Lucien: (whisper very, VERY hoarsely) MC, tell me... what were you trying to do just now?

I subconsciously intended to speak but caught an inch of his smile in my dazed vision.

....He was leading me by nose again.

I drew back to my senses and pulled my neck away, escaping from the air that was getting thinner.

Lucien: Looks like my atonement wasn't enough.

Lucien smiled, and another kiss fell on the corner of my eye. His fingertips restlessly touched and lingered on my waist, making me tremble lightly.

And he had no intention of letting me go. His other hand was covering my eyes as if to block all possibility of me ever coming to my senses.

The string called reason shook and swayed as the kiss slowly moved downward, and I buried my face in his coat.

MC: Lucien, be serious.

MC: If this continues even further, I really won't be able to think anymore!

His chest trembled gently under my cheeks as if it was enduring something unbearable.

Lucien: [chuckle] In fact, you don't need to spend time thinking about it.

I pulled my head out of his embrace. I watched in a daze as he took a sip from a glass of wine on the table and casually swayed my fingers with his other hand.

Lucien: Crazy thoughts are inherently irrational.

Lucien: So when these thoughts come up, it's better to follow your heart than to think about it more deeply.

(thinking of his sp date-)

Looking at his serious look, I raised my cheeks and looked up and down.

MC: It always feels strange to hear such words from Professor Lucien's mouth, who usually speaks sensibly.

Lucien: Is that so?

Lucien: Reason and madness may sound like opposites, but sometimes they can exist at the same time.

MC: But isn't it usually when you lose your mind that you get called "crazy"?

Seeing that I objected, Lucien smiled and raised his hand to rub my nose.

Lucien: MC, we tend to think that reason is about what we shouldn't or should do.

Lucien: But in many cases, "unreasonable" is not the same as "wrong".

Lucien: It's just not predictable.

I couldn't help but think of the movie I just saw, where the main character's life changed in amazing ways when he did things he would never have done before.

My heart felt moved, so I sat up and kissed the person in front of me.

MC: Hey, is it like this?

Lucien was stunned by my sudden movement and slightly bent his eyes.

Lucien: This seems to be only a start.

Lucien: After all, this happens to me every day, doesn't it?

MC: It seems this kind of "crazy" to do whatever I want is not enough to satisfy our Professor Lucien.

I said as I intentionally rested my eyes between his lips. My hands slid down to his chest little by little and slowly pressed close to his body.

Lucien seems to have guessed my mind and letting me go close, but the palm of his hand is covering my waist like declaring the initiative.

Seeing that he would pull me close to his arms, I quickly used my hands to resist against his chest.

MC: I admit defeat. I really can't "fight" you and win!

He raised the corners of his lips in triumph, leaned over, and picked up the glass to hand it to me.

Lucien: Anything else you want to do tonight?

Lucien: For example, finishing the landscape you painted yesterday or taking the scones out of the fridge for a midnight snack?

I pondered and took a sip of wine. The choking warmth slid into my stomach.

MC: ...I haven't thought about it. Why don't we do what you said, think of something, and then do it?

MC: Anyway, it's a holiday, so relax your tense nerves and don't worry about anything.

Lucien: Okay. Then I won't worry about it. The painting can be done at another time.

Lucien: If you don't feel like eating a late-night snack, you can also wait until tomorrow to eat the scones that have missed their optimal taste.

MC: Pfft...

What he said made me burst into laughter. I got up, took my wine, and slowly looked around the room.

When I glanced over the spiral staircase, my eyes lit up, and I happily pointed to the slanted moonlight on the steps.

MC: Lucien, look. I can't believe that just by watching a movie, the clouds have dispersed and the stars have come out.

I looked up at the transparent dome and gazed at the stunning view of the galaxy.

MC: Is it just me, or is the air quality really good these few days. Why does it seem like the stars are getting brighter each day?

As I joked around, Lucien also sat down beside me, holding a wine glass.

Lucien: Then I guess we'll be seeing even more dazzling stars over the next few days.

I laughed and pretended to look at him in a serious way.

MC: Lucien, you can't use the fact that you are a professor to speak nonsense.

Lucien: Can't I make a joke?

I reached out and poked his cheek.

MC: You can, but your face is so deceiving that I can easily take anything you say seriously.

Seeing that Lucien was amused by me and laughed, I nuzzled against his shoulder in a good mood.

MC: Say, if we just sit here and watch the stars all night until sunrise…

MC: Would that be a crazy thing to do?

Lucien: Hmmm... I don't think it's necessary to measure the scale of craziness.

Lucien: As long as that is something you want to do, whether you sit here all night or sit for five minutes and then return to bed….

Lucien: It's all good.

Everything is tranquil and time seems to slow down, making my senses increasingly clear.

I can hear the wind blowing through the curtain at the window and the sound of Lucien's hair rustling in my ears.

I couldn't resist closing my eyes to listen to more subtleties that I hadn't noticed before.

Whoosh-

Suddenly there was a soft crashing sound from afar. It was like the sound of an hourglass ticking away in the night.

MC: Lucien, did you hear that?

I opened my eyes, and my hand pointed out the window to the sound. Lucien slightly held his breath as if he was carefully distinguishing.

Lucien: The place we live is not far from the beach. I think it should be the waves.

MC: …The waves?

The rustling sounds kept coming to my ears, and perhaps because of the influence of alcohol or because of the "grand words" just now –

A thought struck my mind, and I stood up.

MC: Lucien.

Lucien: MC, would you like to see the sea right now?

Looking at each other tacitly, a small warmth flowed through my heart, but when I couldn't refrain from nodding my head-

I saw the clock behind Lucien, pointing to one in the morning.

MC: ...

MC: I'm tempted, but it's almost one o'clock now.

MC: We still have to attend the party tomorrow. It won't be good if it affects your condition…

Lucien: It doesn't matter if I sleep less, but it might make MC a little sleepy.

Lucien: So…You can totally reject me.

Lucien smiled lightly, the moonlight cast a hazy color on him, and his collarbone was also faintly visible under the open skirt.

His usual soft and smooth hair was also a little messy because he was lying on the couch with me all night, giving him a little "unkempt" sense of laziness.*

(T/N: 不修边幅 is an idiom meaning not care about one's appearance/ slovenly in dress and manner)

Even though he said that, there was a dark tidal current that swept me deeply into those dark eyes.

It made me sink into them.

I winked and beamed with a big smile.

MC: No, let's go to see the sea.

MC: I don't care if I will be a bit sleepy tomorrow. I want to see the sea with you now.

The interest in Lucien's eyes grew even stronger, his hand absent-mindedly resting on the back of his neck while the other hand holding the wine glass clinked lightly with mine.

It sounded clear and beautiful.

Lucien: Then, we seem to hit it off.

(T/N: 一拍即合 is an idiom lit. to be together from the first beat (idiom) /to hit it off/to click together / to chime in easily)

At night, it turns out that nothing can be seen on the sea except the ivory moonlight falling on the tide.

At the far end of the horizon, a long, thin line of lights from thousands of homes spreads horizontally, so far away that it seems like another untouchable world.

MC: Lucien, there are only two of us here.

MC: It seems that the idea of going to the beach at one o'clock in the morning is really unreasonable~

Lucien: But by occasionally doing the opposite, the sea belongs to us for a brief time.

Lucien: Even though the sea is not blue at all, there are no seagulls to be seen, and you might even step on a small crab moving in the night.

Seeing Lucien joking around, I'm happily took off my shoes and quickly run to the waves to feel the tide soaking through my ankles.

MC: I can't see the sea, but I'm in the sea right now.

MC: I can still feel the sand slipping past my ankles along with the tide and then quietly slipping away from the soles of my feet.

Lucien: The Great Producer seems to be extraordinarily attentive today.

Lucien: I don't know if it's because of the wine or the movie...

MC: Of course, it's because of you.

I was quick to take over his words, winking playfully. Seeing me like this, Lucien burst out laughing.

Lucien: (laughs) What to do? I feel a bit helpless with this slightly drunk lady.

Hearing his little teasing, I purposely flicked my foot and brought the seawater onto the edge of his shoe.

MC: Then Professor Lucien, don't let me stay alone in the sea~ why don't you take off your shoes too? It's comfortable here,

He didn't answer, and just when I thought he would smile and politely decline, Lucien bent down to take off his shoes and walked beside me.

Lucien: Indeed, It's very comfortable, just a little cooler than I thought.

Although taking off the shoes is not a big deal, I feel that his natural response is a bit unexpected

MC: Lucien, how many drinks did you have tonight?

Lucien: Do you think I'm drunk?

His long, narrow eyes were clear under the moonlight, and they clearly captured me in them. I smiled, shook my head, and continued using my foot to send the cold water over his ankles.

MC: It doesn't matter if you are drunk or not. There is no one else here anyway.

MC: So, it's okay for you to be a little more "let loose".

Lucien: Can teacher MC teach me some examples?

My eyes seemed to linger on him. Then I leaned down to cup a small amount of water and splashed it on him.

MC: Just like this?

He nodded thoughtfully, took two steps forward, and when I thought he was going to counterattack, I was about to turn and run-

Before Lucien tenderly shackled me in his arms.

Lucien: (whisper) Teacher, can I draw another example from what you just taught me?

MC: O-of course.

He gazed deeply at me. His fingertips brushed my eyebrows, my eyes… And finally, he held my face and kissed it.

The waves hit the rocks again, but this time, we were in the middle of the waves, surrounded by dense foam and entwined by the sweet taste of wine between our lips and teeth.

I was immersed in this sweet taste. Lucien only pulled away from me a while later. The cold sea breeze lingered at the tip of my nose and tickled me a little….

MC: Ah-choo-!

I quickly covered my mouth, and a chill ran through my body.

MC: … Although it is in the south, the sea is still a bit cold at night.

Lucien: This seems to be an oversight on my part.

He turned and bent down, grabbed my thighs with both hands, and put me directly on his back.

A moment of weightlessness made me cling tightly to his neck.

MC: Eh? Are we going back? But I'm just a little cold and not tired.

Lucien: This lady seems to have misunderstood me.

He said as he walked forward, moving away from the direction of the manor.

Lucien: Since we came to the beach late at night, we should have some fun before returning.

Lucien: It's just that if you stay in the sea all the time, it's easy to catch a cold.

Lucien: So, by carrying you on my back in the sea, we should be able to achieve almost the same effect.

Our shadows are close and seamless under the moonlight.

I contentedly put my face on Lucien's back and talked to him about one thing after another.

The faint sound of laughter rolled away with the waves until I saw the smoke coming from the distance, and I couldn't help but exclaim in a small voice.

MC: Lucien, it's a roadside stall! It looks like a stall for some kind of warm and hot soup.

Lucien: Want to go over and take a look?

MC: Um!

As we got closer, I faintly saw the stall owner turn off the small lights and put the ingredients into the box one by one…

MC: Shoot, looks like it's about to close!

Before I finished speaking, Lucien tightened his arms, and I felt a gentle jolt. I was stunned when I realized he was running with me on his back!

MC: Lucien...?

Lucien: (panting while shouting happily) MC, I'm curious, so without any hesitation...

Lucien: (still continuing shouting happily) I ain't gonna let you miss it.

(T/N: I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO SOUND THIS HAPPY AND ALIVE-)

A relaxed laugh passed through my ears. Although I can't see his expression at this moment, I can imagine that calm but warm face.

I couldn't help but laugh and approached his ear-

MC: Professor Lucien, we seem to be a bit "crazy" now.

When I woke up the next day, Lucien was already fully dressed, sitting on the sofa and quietly reading a book.

His white shirt was clean, and his smooth hair was well-groomed.

I can't see that this is the same man from last night, who was so energetic that he chased the stall owner with me on his back so I could successfully drink hot soup, and only went to sleep at dawn…

I secretly laughed, then sat up and stretched.

MC: Lucien, what time is it? Why didn't you wake me when you got up?

Lucien: You were so tired from last night, so I wanted to let you rest a little longer.

Lucien: Plus, there's still plenty of time, so you can take it slow.

MC: So… Since it's early, can I ask for a good morning hug?

I grinned at him and opened my arms. Lucien put down his book, sat on the edge of the bed, and softly pecked me on the lips.

MC: Even Professor Lucien can misinterpret a question. I clearly ask for a hug.

Lucien: Then, just think of it as an additional question that I answered.

I stayed in his arms for a while before going to the closet. I took out a purple dress and a set of a white casual suit with trousers.

MC: Which one do you think I should wear today?

His eyes wandered between the two sets of clothes for quite a while.

Lucien: The party is relatively long, so it is reasonable that wearing a comfortable dress would be better.

Lucien: However, a certain lady was so excited about the party that she went back and forth to pick out her clothes several times while packing.

After a moment of pause, his eyes finally fell on the purple dress.

Lucien: So just wear it, and if you get tired by then, we'll come back early.

MC: Hehe, Professor Lucien understands my mind the most~

Lucien smiled and walked to the mirror. His fingertips lightly crossed the table's edge and took out a pair of butterfly earrings from the jewelry box.

Lucien: I also have a suggestion about the jewelry.

Lucien: You used to say it didn't have the right opportunity to shine, but I think today is that opportunity.

I took the earrings with a smile and hugged him around the neck.

MC: Then I would like to ask Professor Lucien to continue to help me with advice. Is that okay?

MC: I'll need you to help me choose the perfume I'm going to use when I go out. I'll go change first!

Without giving him a chance to react, I kissed him on the cheek and walked into the bathroom with my clothes and jewelry.

After changing clothes, I saw Lucien sitting lazily by the window, shaking the balm in his hand.

MC: Have you picked it out so quickly?

Lucien: To be precise, as soon as I smelled this scent, I knew it was the only way to go today.

MC: Oh? It looks like you're pretty confident in your choice~ Let me see which one you've chosen.

I picked up the balm to smell it, and my eyes widened

It has the scent of waves. The elegant fragrance carries a little bit of salty moisture, letting the memories of last night sweep into my mind.

The dark sea, the rolling waves, the moonlight sways in front of my eyes as he runs…

When I thought about it, I couldn't resist leaning into him, pressing closer to the scent in front of me.

(Cue 5th birthday bgm 🥺)

MC: You just said that you picked it right away. Can I take it that you enjoyed our experience at the beach last night?

Lucien: Mmm, I don't deny it.

Lucien: Although the scenery was pitch black last night, I can seem to remember it for a long time.

Looking at the balm in my hand, I suddenly thought of something and smiled.

MC: I've heard that scent can strengthen people's memories…

MC: So just remember with me a little longer.

As I said that, I leaned back a little. I slowly unbuttoned his shirt, one by one, with one hand.

I stopped when the sunlight cast a white light in front of his collarbone and rubbed my fingers on the balm.

As we looked at each other, my index finger slowly climbed up and down and slid down his chest with a little more force.

Lucien's palm covered my lower back as if in response to me. His fingertips were caressing. The lace tulle skirt made a rustling sound, just like the waves last night.

I couldn't help but press myself against his neck and breathe the scent of the ocean.

MC: Lucien...

Lucien: Hmm?

MC: In fact, looking back now, what we did last night didn't seem crazy.

MC: It's just strolling along the dark beach and then running after the stall that is about to close.

MC: But for some reason, I just enjoyed last night.

Lucien: Is this kind of "crazy" enough for you?

I stared deeply into his eyes without hesitation.

MC: Of course it's enough. Because you are the one who went to the beach with me, you are the one who held me, and you are the one who ran forward with me on your back.

I paused and pressed my forehead against his.

MC: For me, "crazy" is not about doing something out of the ordinary.

MC: My heart will still beat faster when I do ordinary things with you.

MC: Even when our hair is all gray, it'll still do the same.

MC: Isn't that just the craziest thing ever?

Lucien tightened his arms and pressed himself against me, without leaving any gaps.

Lucien: It really doesn't get any crazier than that.

Lucien: Your very existence has caused me to lose control from time to time.

I reached out to nudge the tip of his nose and smiled playfully.

MC: Then you must continue to be unreserved with me so that I can "occupy" you a little more.

He was stunned, and pretended to let out a sigh of chagrin.

Lucien: [sigh] Am I not unreserved enough in front of you? I can't believe that you have this "illusion".

MC: Because like you, I'm also very greedy.

MC: Although I also like the usual you, I want to see more of Professor Lucien from last night.

MC: And you will satisfy me, won't you?

Lucien answered softly. His quiet eyes seemed to set off layers of sea waves.

Suddenly, I thought of something else, curiously lying on top of him, twirling my fingertips around his hair.

MC: Speaking of which, what would you say is the craziest thing you've ever done before our hair turned gray?

Lucien bent his smiling eyes, lightly pursed his lips, and said nothing.

He just moved even closer to me while carrying the scent of the waves and lowered his head to kiss me.

-And once again, my heart bloomed like a flowering sea wave.

[T/N: 'Loving you is the craziest thing I've ever done in our lifetime' :”]

#SOBBING #awww those cute kisses #mlqc lucien #mr love queen's choice #mlqc spoiler #mlqc cn #mlqc translation #will add more t/n later

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hot-take-tournament · 1 year ago

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hi, I'm the original Barbie movie hot take submitter. now that the poll's over and with about 80 people agreeing with me in total (which is honestly way more than i was expecting...) i guess... yeah i should probably address some of these comments, because i don't know which are in good faith and which aren't, but like i said at the beginning of my justification, it's something that's really important to me on a personal level and i saw at least a few people expressing sympathy or wanting to understand better where i was coming from. (again I'm autistic and i can't be sure it wasn't just sarcastic remarks, but it looked like at least a few people were willing to listen.)

this sentence here is your warning that I'm going to continue to talk about my experience. if you hated my take and/or were disturbed by it and would be upset to empathize with my point of view any further, this is your reminder to just stop reading here.

...

so first of all, i did hold myself back, writing that submission. i mentioned upfront that i kept it short, but i guess it only looks shortened if you know how much i have to say about it. i didn't even know if it would make it in so i did gloss over a couple things that may have led to misinterpretation (though a lot of those notes felt like a "how dare you say we piss on the poor" sort of moment (reference to a response on a different post, which accused Tumblr users of having "piss-poor reading comprehension")).

....anyway, this is a more comprehensive and thorough version of my viewpoint. it is long.

the first thing i would like to address is that i noticed a lot of people saying i was pulling it out of nowhere and "projecting (derogatory??)". and.... like.... yes. i know that. i basically said so explicitly when i said "I disliked this movie for heavily personal reasons". that's the point of submitting it to a hot takes blog; this is something that i think most people will disagree with me on, because it's nowhere near the "objective" interpretation of the movie, but it's something that a select few might resonate very strongly with. this movie didn't actually say any of the things that I said it did, on an explicit level. but there were undertones of it the whole way through that triggered multiple breakdowns since its release, because of my particular media sensitivities that i didn't know would be in this movie. you can think of it like I'm accusing this movie of having "traces of peanuts" rather than being a peanut dish. if I'm allergic to peanuts it still sucks, and is unsafe for people with my triggers. (still my fault for going to see the movie, it's not like it's immoral for it to have triggering topics in it. I just regret it and am bitter that everyone seems to unanimously agree that it has no problems, that's all.) I also see that a lot of people were not bothered by these same things that I was, and I respect that. And I'm glad that people were able to enjoy it— my intention was mostly "it seems like no one hated this movie but me. did anyone else share this interpretation?".

...honestly, the movie itself, on an objective level, wasn't actually too horrible. it was kind of sad and depressing, but i would've left it feeling kind of mediocre if it weren't for its online boom. everyone seems to be praising this movie for being incredible and groundbreaking and progressive, but like this other anon said (https://www.tumblr.com/hot-take-tournament/724649240320671744/while-everyone-is-already-arguing-over-the-barbie?source=share), it really... just feels like politically regressing, to me. speaking as someone who is various flavors of non-binary (multigender), and who is transgender and intersex, i am extremely passionate about gender rights. and this movie felt the same as really old radfem ideals of feminism that boiled down to "what if we kept the gender essentialism but we made it so (cis) women were good and sacred (but still perceived as weak, helpless, useless, etc.)". I saw many similar sentiments in the notes of the original poll that I agreed with, saying the movie barely was feminist if at all. I especially agreed with someone (don't remember who) who mentioned that it was kind of misogynistic and backwards for all the women to get brainwashed instantly the moment someone suggests a patriarchy. this movie really said "women are just helpless little children that deserve the world, and the men need to carefully watch what they do and be kept in check, because if they get too confident they're naturally inclined to establish dictatorships and be cruel and evil to the women! and of course the women would roll over and accept it if that happened because they're just helpless little lambs that can't think for themselves" like how is that feminist? i thought everyone was on the same page here that women are people. like people with agency that can do things. and the movie just felt extremely.... belittling of women's actual capability to do things, and demonizing of men's emotions. like i thought these were points that we've already been through, societally. but no. "best feminist movie", "so progressive", "groundbreaking".... like... what?? it's groundbreaking because... there was a patriarchy and no one's ever done that before??? like what is this, the feminism version of "Disney's first gay character"??? is it progressive because Barbie had One Conversation with an old lady who was (sarcastic gasp) happy??? (Admittedly that scene was pretty sweet, I'm not actually upset about that one. but like why is that the highlight i keep seeing everyone come away with. like is it groundbreaking for one (1) old person to be happy?? i would've preferred if there were like. you know. just reasonable casual representation for diverse bodies (but that's ok I wasn't expecting something like that from a mainstream movie anyway.))

...and since a lot of people were upset that I didn't address Barbie herself: yeah, ok, I think the existential crisis stuff was pretty neat, I think she genuinely did a decent amount of growing over the course of the movie, I think her character arc wasn't too bad if you look at it from her point of view. but i think, like ken, she needs to be held accountable for the things she did BEFORE that character growth. a lot of people in the notes mentioned her "forgiveness" at the end, and... yeah, I guess I will admit that's "groundbreaking" for a movie this mainstream, but that is not a compliment. it felt so hollow to me, and again that's just "projection" because when I say "it felt hollow", I mean that it sounds exactly like things I was told by toxic friends as a kid. but I think a certain amount of projection is necessary to empathize with a movie, at least the way I watch them. I don't think that relating stories to your own experience is a bad thing.

.... right, back to barbie's whole thing with "forgiveness". to forgive someone is to put yourself in a social position "above" their own. it's unequal by nature— it creates a social unbalance where one party "forgives" (gracious, generous, implied power of judgement over the other) and the other party "has sinned" (in the wrong, by default should be punished, deserves to suffer unless they properly repent). this sort of punitive structure was used against me and some people close to me and so I have extremely personal triggers around disingenuous apologies and forgiveness. (no, I'm not saying that forgiving people is evil, and I'm not saying that Ken did nothing wrong. this is about Barbie now.)

i don't think Barbie should have forgiven Ken. and i don't think Ken should have forgiven Barbie, either (though he was never given the option, because that would be admitting that she treated him like garbage). i think if Barbie was going to "forgive" Ken, if she really wanted to have a real platonic relationship with Ken at the end of the movie, she should have first acknowledged that she had never been a good friend to him, that he was never treated well on a base human relationship level. and i think she should have apologized for it. a real apology where she empathizes and understands how she hurt him and tries to do better, and acknowledges that she was just as lost as he was. and then lets him forgive her, too. but instead she just cuts straight to her own "forgiveness", skipping past any potential accusations of her own treatment of him, to assert her own dominance and center his own wrongdoings. I think they should have either BOTH admitted they didn't know what they were doing and were shitty to each other, or they should have both gone their separate ways bitterly and with their self confidence intact.

like I've seen some people saying, both on my dash and in the notes of this post, this is a tragic movie about two sad lost people trying to figure out how to break social conventions for the first time, trying to understand how to be more than just a Doll with a Role. and naturally, a movie like that has both of them acting shitty to each other within those roles; Barbie from the start of the movie, because she doesn't WANT a relationship with Ken and she seems to hold this against him, and Ken throughout the movie as he tries to understand why he never seems to be enough. Barbie repeatedly condescends upon and belittles him and is constantly aggravated with him and makes him feel small and burdensome and whiny and exaggerative. she makes fun of his fun names and treats him like a stupid and annoying child. and while some of you in the notes are out here laughing and saying "welcome to the real world for women", "that's just misogyny"— and?? is the moral here that misogyny is funny when it happens to men?? because it does happen to men. i know closeted trans men that are subjected to it every day and it just. seems so low to say "misogyny is good" ever. no matter what the end of that sentence is. to imply that some people can deserve misogyny and mistreatment "if they're men" or "if they're annoying" or "if they're clingy" like... this is part of why i submitted this take. i thought we were socially on the page that misogyny is wrong and sucks. and just because this worldbuilding sets it up so that only Kens experience misogyny doesn't make it suddenly just? either it's a human right to be treated with dignity, or you are supporting misogyny. there's no way to say "but it's funny if i can be vindictive about it" without accidentally validating that defense.

...I went on a tangent again. but what I mean is that Barbie herself was an ASSHOLE to Ken. she didn't want him around but felt obligated to support him, and the solution to that should be to make it so he can support himself. but instead she just feels burdened by him and takes it out on him by belittling his suffering and treating him like his every complaint and need were meaningless or annoying. should it have been her obligation to deal with all of his needs? fuck no! but to act like she could, and wanted to, like she was his friend, when she really just wanted to be free of him... that sucks. and it actively kept him shackled to her. and like, she didn't know better, but neither did Ken. they were both lost souls hurting one another by participating in the only thing they knew: an abusive power structure. the only thing Ken did wrong was.... also wanting to participate in that power structure from the "wrong end". it wasn't okay when Ken did it, but it's notable that Barbie did it first. and that they BOTH needed to apologize for treating each other like shit. and they BOTH needed to empathize with and forgive each other, knowing that they're in a better place now and that neither of them knew what they wanted before. they BOTH fucked up and they BOTH suffered for it. if both, or neither, of them had forgiven each other, then this would've just been an interesting and pretty sad movie with at least some resolution.

.... but INSTEAD what happened was that only Ken was shamed and felt like shit, because he crossed the line that Barbie was supposed to have total dominion over. and Barbie was never held accountable for her treatment of Ken, even though it came from the same misguided and hurtful place that Ken's actions did. I'm not claiming that what Ken did was good, or that he's a pathetic little meow meow and everyone hates him for no reason. but Barbie repeatedly condescends and bullies him at the start of the movie to take out her frustration with her situation, and while it's understandable why she's frustrated, that's not okay to do to him, just as much as it wasn't okay for Ken to "turn the tables" on her so to speak. this is kind of an eye for an eye situation. he only did to her what he had already been experiencing himself. and then for her to be the only one to "forgive", implies that it was okay to do to him, and therefore that it's only wrong if he does it.

misogyny is not okay just because you put it in a specific setting or applied it to specific people. and the same thing for pretending to be friends with someone you hate and then bullying them???. it's not "funny" when a woman attacks a man, and if you think it is, that's rooted in misogyny itself. because why else would you not see women as "real" threats or abusers? abuse could only possibly be twisted around into something funny if you think it can't cause real harm, and that's steeped in the sentiments that women are useless, powerless, and helpless, and that men are inherently powerful and able to control their situation. im sick of it. i feel like this movie genuinely pushed back gender equality by like 20 years. not everything is Men Versus Women and if you're centering the gender binary that much like it fucking means that much, you're erasing non-binary people too?? I'm just. I'm just sick of it, I'm sick of gender essentialism and stereotypes and hollow friendships. sighs. ok sorry this paragraph was just a vent.

anyway. this movie would not have impacted me this negatively if it weren't for the way I hear people talking about it. as if it's amazing and the next step in gender rights even though it basically devolved the understanding of gender back into "maybe............. do you think girls could do things? without dating a man..? or is that a little silly.... no wow!! actually yes! women can sometimes... not date!!". (making a spectacle out of obtaining basic relationship agency???) ...and this is mostly, again, just my own triggers, which over the course of this poll I am realizing are real triggers for me, but... yeah. reminds me of my tirf friend group that shamed anyone who was too forward or too masculine. that would nitpick at people's social mistakes to keep them in check and on their toes.

tldr; I'm so fucking tired of gender essentialism and I went to see this movie thinking it was progressive hot shit just to discover it was Social Shaming But It's Funny Because We're Subjecting Men To It This Time. not very funny when I know so many transmascs who are punished for being women when they aren't. and Ken fucked up, but Barbie fucked up too. neither of them were good for each other and they were hurting each other the whole time, but Barbie never owned up to it and then on top of that "forgave" Ken in a way that was just personally triggering for me. (Not evil, not necessarily malicious. but upsetting for me on a personal level because of my sensitivities).

anyway. thanks for reading if you did. I'm probably not gonna check the notes on this one but just know that it does mean a lot, the few people who did agree with me. I wasn't even expecting 80 people, maybe more like 20. I was fully expecting to get 98% ratioed, considering how positively everyone talks about this movie.

(i hope you have a great day too, mod! my apologies for how long and impassioned this got. I hope this take was entertaining for you at least??)

#not a poll #asks #barbie discourse #barbie spoilers

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