#i feel like i have a type hmmm
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I was thinking about what Pokémon would suit which frame, and I mean,
Yareli and Primarina + Mantine
Primarina's design is perfect for Yareli, they're both water-themed magical girls, and with Mantine joining in as a known fan of surfing, which is as close as it gets to k-driving in the Pokémon world.
Jade and Mega Gardevoir
They look like siblings separated into different universes: they have the same colours, the same silhouette... I want them to meet,, maybe put together a coordinator contest or a duet.
Volt and Zeraora
They're both high speed electric fellas, I can see them doing parkour together with Volt boosting them and Zeraora's lightning sparking all around them. And besides, considering Zeraora collects electricity, I imagine it could charge up from Volt's electricity and use that to zap whoever comes in their way.
Garuda and Weavile
Vicious and clawed, they're both ready for a good mauling any time. You cannot tell me a Pokémon version of Garuda would not learn every and all moves that imply usage of claws.
Oberon and Sawsbuck
Hoof buddies! They both have a serene feel to me, but then again, deer are known for being silly and getting spooked easily, so I just want to imagine these two traveling in the woods and jumping at shadows, giving people of Cetus the silliest trail cam footage.
#warframe#pokemon au#tennocreate#my art#warframe yareli#warframe jade#warframe volt#warframe garuda#warframe oberon#looking at the art you can clearly see who the favourite child is haha#i do also feel that araquanid could be cool for yareli as a mon that traps its enemies into its water bubble#but also i am very biased because i think bug types are very cool#garuda squatting just feels natural. like yeah of course that's how she sits how else would she?#btw i'd love to hear ideas for other frames! does voruna just have a whole pack of different formes of lycanroc?#hmmm limbo with a thievul... much to think about
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So uh… I might end up with a live action f/o…
#okay so I was watching clips of this one show#mostly because I was curious#and then afterwards I went to listen to some music and caught myself daydreaming about the one character#and I panicked#I don’t know if this character will become a thing but uhhhhh… im having conflicted feelings#just… well… i being vague because it’s embarrassing#like pretty much all of my f/os are animated and I never had a live action f/o before#and the character is silly and over the top but……..#*groans*#and I don’t think it’s like a celebrity crush type of thing#like I usually separate a animated character from the VA but to see the actor is… hmmm#and I’m just sitting here kinda wanting to watch this show even though it’s very cheesy#just to learn more about this character#like I already made sketches of the character and I’m MAD#god I hope this makes sense because I’m struggling trying to explain this#💬 chy chatter 💬
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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//.
#🌊 | outside the ship / ooc#tbd.#[ suddenly feeling self aware and insecure about everything I did on this blog ]#[ hmmm I do not like it ]#[ maybe it's because it's 3am and my brain is playing tricks in me but idkkk ]#[ I began to be self conscious idk why ]#[ like 'should I really have done that?? would my mutuals be cool with It?? would it be like. acceptable to have??' type of stuff ]#[ going to either lurk on mobile or sleep to see if this goes away or not ]
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Btw u know how each union bday vignette interview had the “which dorm would you join that isn’t the one ur in now” question. Every character that dissed heartslabyul bc “the uniform/vibe is too bright” is a coward.
#ITS THE BEST UNIFORM BECAUSE ITS SO FUN AND WILD LOOKING‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭😭#idr who exactly said it but I rememebr it came up at least a few times#bc every time I was typing to my friend in chat like NOOOOOOO BAD TASTE BAD TAAAASTE😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️#but honestly what did I expect from hater school for hater boys really ����#tbh did anyone even pick heartslabyul#I feel like just rook did#maybe Kalim also???#I feel like they’re the only ones that would appreciate heartslabyul’s FUN LOOK#idr if Kalim picked it tho. they’re the social party dorms but heastslabyuls crazy rules also scared ppl#actually. for real wait was that it#FELIX WHERE ARE YOU DO YOU HAVE CHART#I’d look them each up individually and write it out myself#but I am. at work LOL#maybe I’ll do it later if I haven’t been answered#hmmm but what can I rememebr rn#Leona picked pom. eppy tried to pick savana but Floyd didn’t let him but I forgot what he did pick after#I think mal picked igni. riddle picked dia. treycay picked octa. adeuce picked scarabia.#Jamil picked… ignihyde I think. azul picked scara. Jade picked pom I think ?#floyd picked savana? unless that was just my guess idr#same with Jade lol. vil… uhh.. diasomnia maybe? idr#rook I am p sure did heartslabyul <3 ortho…. shit idr his either. could he have picked hearts 🤔 or maybe diasomnia bc opposites idk…#I truly forget ortho I’m SORRYYYY… jack was uhhh. idr but I do know he was a hearts outfit hater lol#fuck I can’t remember what diasomnia in general did lol#I feel like idia picked dia bc it was closest in gloom vibe but maybe that’s my prediction again#hard to rememebr what the actual one was vs my initial guess lol#god I can only rememebr half of them for sure#oh maybe Epel picked igni bc of the blastcycles actually?? that sounds right#maybe. fuck idk I gotta go back to work LOL#point is rook hunt is valid ‼️‼️‼️‼️ if I remembered his pick wrong I’m gonna be upset Hshfnnffnfngndhfjfe
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i don't follow new people often and if i do it's usually only the mutuals mutuals who's scents i slowly get accustomed to via dash osmosis, or someone that interacts with my posts regularly, and that strategy is once again proving to be the only reasonable one to keep your dash normal
#asdfkjhsa#i saw a blog that Didn't come from dash and wanted to be crazy and quirky for once so i checked it out#only to run into a self made ''hmmm spotify wrapped was weirdly early this year'' post#crying#obviously being wrong is okay and i'm sure i've also accidentally reblogged misinformation before at some point. it can happen#even if you try to fact check everything#but the whole spotify thing is just too stupid for me i'm sorry#especially with all the og posts spreading it having the wording of '''zionists' are controlling the media. what's new''#genuinely concerned about people who unironically went to conspiracy talk right away about spotify wrapped out of all things#i feel like that says something about either your critical thinking skills or your willingness to believe anything as long as it has notes#ditched that blog#banished from joining the dash. wizard beam#(also not vaguing i don't follow them and they don't follow me#just saying#bc this would be the type of post i'd see and then worry i accidentally sleep reblogged something and now people think i'm stupid adfajkl)
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I HAVE FEELINGS FOR A BOYMAN
#sooooooooo BASICALLY i haven’t really been as active as normal bc of school and yk taking 5 courses is not for the weak but i am strong in#Jesus Name AMEN!! so this update might seem a bit random but ya we move. sooo this guy isn’t to be confused with pool table guy from october#that guy is cool and all but we only ever talk about anime and he leaves me on delivered a lot sooo on to the next ig but this guy that i#have developed Feels for issssss hmmm well call him Friendly Giant ™️ (FG) bc he’s like taalll (6’1 ish?) and dark skin and cute and all but#like he looks intimidating but then has the softest deepest voice and it’s all like aaaawwwwww#but basically he’s just this big sweet guy and at first i thought we were just friends and all but then yk you kinda can’t beat the Just#Friends allegations when you ft call a girlie up on CHRISTMAS bc she’s trying to figure out how she’s going to cross the boarder BY HERSELF#bc her siblings are of no help AND THEN when said girlie ft calls you the next day yall stay on the phone for 4(!!!) hours and THEN you offe#r to reach her how to drive and you brought her soup when she got her wisdom teeth surgery and when she bought something using your prime u#said she didn’t need to pay you back and when she insisted said FG GUY SAID AND I QUOTE “LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU FOR ONCE 🤯#LIKEEEEE#all this while tho i was in fairytale land thinking about how he’s such a great friend and la dee daa bc i didn’t think i was his type and#all that but then i was praying last night and the i was like Holy Spirit do i like this man? and He was like yes and you’re trying to#rationalize your feelings but you like him and he likes you#so nooowwww i’m all like 🙂👍🏾🥳😳😳😳😳😳😳#YK?????????!!!!!!#but ya that’s the latest update 😚#i like a guy and he likes me 🥹😶😃👍🏾😳🤯#mutuals my beloved <3#vk overshares in the tags
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Very important to implement a goof-off break (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Cure#Youuuu sheeeeee#This guy I swear#Lol no she's fine she's just Very - but she's that by design that's how she's always been#She's cutesing around as usual - tho something feels off in that first one hmmm#Is it the lack of eyelid shine? Possibly...#Well whatever it is I'm happy with the rest so it's fine#And I do still like her little paws and such - I've really fallen in love with the heart/bodice shape however you want to call it#Definitely not part of her initial design but it's very her I feel so I'm glad for it it's a design element that has carryover forever now#Just casually y'know lol#My edits even trick my own eye 'cause I'm like ''Wow her lines are so clean she looks so easy to draw'' - I did that in post!#She is fairly easy to draw tho she's good shapes :)#Had a lot of fun drawing her laid out lol horizontal poses tend to be quite fun#And the shapes feel continuous! So often I'll have it where the obscured leg just goes off to space completely unaffixed from the rest#Not here tho I'm pleased :)#It's funny 'cause I tend to draw Cure as being oddly serious - yes smiley and weird but she's actually fairly even tempered!#So it's nice to doodle her having genuine simple fun :) Just enjoying movement hehe slides are fun!#I'm imagining water slide-style type slides just without the water - very twisty and wiggly haha#She's still a plush tho despite being a bear she's not the biggest fan of water#Continuing to try and practice full-bodies at least as much as my spacing will allow lol#Posing's fun like that ♪#I haven't been using it lately so I think it stands out a lot more in that last one but without her little bracelet thing#I feel like the ribbon makes it more obvious that she generally only has An accessory at a time#I guess her arm is obscured she Could be wearing it there lol covered in ribbons!#It's cute but I like her simplicity best haha
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FUCK i still gotta write that goodbye card
#oh fuck oh god#idk what to say#or how to phrase it#i should keep it sweet and concise#but also not too formal#but not too emotional either#hmmm#i also need to figure out how to give it to him because i find it incredibly embarrassing#i kind of really don't want to be there on his last day on friday#I'd feel so awkward because Everybody will be there and say goodbye and i'd just sit there in silence because i don't#feel like I'm part of the team and therefore have no right to be involved (also one of the reasons i didn't sign the 'official' card)#i know it's stupid but ugh#I've known him for 6 months#why do i feel so ridiculous just giving someone a farewell card after only 6 months#I've given cards to people I've known for 3 weeks before. no issue there. (i think it's because of the work context.#i don't want to seem out of line by giving him my own card after not having known him for all that long#which is just dumb. but maybe it's also the type of card. maybe i should look for something generic and not a condolences card#lmao#(although that's 80% of the reason i want to give it to him lol)#void screams#work stuff#i need to shut up
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i finally wrote an xword that i think might be nyt-submittable...i originally wrote it for the local paper though so i now have to go back through and rework the clues to take out the specific local ones and make some of the others harder. i know exactly which day of the week this would run in the nyt (if it gets accepted) because this type of theme always runs on the same day, so at least i know which clue difficulty to aim for, but i'm still finding it difficult to hit that precise level! i'm used to just making the clues as easy as possible because my local paper's audience is mostly people who aren't xword aficionados. i already reworked this puzzle a couple times based on feedback from friends and family but that was all still when i thought i'd be running it in my local paper. i kinda just want to be done with it but i've never had a theme and fill i thought were completely nyt-worthy before!
#i've been thinking that i would write a puzzle that was intended for the nyt from the beginning#but i never prioritize it because the local paper is actually expecting something from me and i have deadlines with them#so this might be the only way it ever actually happens#i feel kinda bad for the local paper that they don't even get my best work haha but also this theme would probably be too hard#for most of their audience (though let's face it probably all of my puzzles are too hard for various reasons)#aw shoot though i just reread the submission guidelines and they're specifically looking for themes OTHER THAN this type#hmmm#cruciverbs#i also wouldn't mind submitting this in collaboration with a more experienced constructor who could help me with the clues#and i imagine such people are always looking for greenhorn collaborators because it allows them to have >3 submissions#in the queue...but i don't even know how one goes about finding such people#if i submit it and they reject it no harm no foul EXCEPT that i don't know how long it would take them to get back to me#and if this isn't going to run in the nyt then i'd still like to run it in the local paper#but also maybe if they reject it they'll be like 'we don't want this but you seem to have promise so here's the email address of#one of our veteran constructors who would be willing to work with you on other ideas you may have'#i just made that up idk if they would actually do that haha but it seems plausible. and wouldn't it be nice?#i do have another nyt-specific idea that i've been spinning my wheels on for like two years#hmm hmm hmm. i think my best bet is still to rework these clues and submit it and see what happens#worst case scenario is they never get back to me. which is a distinct possibility given what happened with my#american xword puzzle tournament previous year solved puzzles (ie they never got back to me >:( )#but that was will shortz. this is will shortz plus like 5 other people. he probably doesn't even see new submissions
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man writing the all star match is gonna be hard. the weight and genius of furudate’s matches is something I want to emulate (will fail to) as much as possible, but the setup required is… a lot. you could easily write a 100k fic leading up the match and it’d be wonderful, focusing on all of the individual characters’ struggles and how they reveal themselves in the match and clash with others and their teammates / opponents oooh I hope furudate draws it someday…..
anyways. What was I rambling about. Oh yes, because the kryk timeskip is, yknow, focused on kryk, I feel like the match will fall a little short of what I want. however, I think I can steal a little bit of the formula to make it feel better than only a sports game. I’ve set up Yamamoto’s feelings and I think I can maybe delve into a few more characters’ motivations / current headspaces during the training days. how that manifests during the match will make it more compelling. hm. mixed with shit I think is cool.
#I think I’ll be focusing on Yamamoto goshiki and maybe inumaki as well….#I just sort of feel like they have insecurity potential#hmmm. But am I only examining insecurity then? that sounds like I’m limiting how interesting it could be#sorry I love typing shit out it helps me think it through
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If solomon asked me to be a defender of humanity, i dont think i could look him in the eye and say yes
#talking about obey me once again#hmmm....its like asking a gnat to be the defender of bug kind or something#or maybe a fly#like sorry solomon but...dont have that type of grace in my body#mc is supposed to be a character that sees the good in everyone so ig it makes sense in their case#but at the same time i feel like this conflicts with the way they behave sometimes#when i think of someone who always sees the good in ppl#tohru honda is one of the first ppl to pop into my head#and shes very VERY kind#and very very forgiving#to the point of being a doormat#not to say that u cant be an assertive person and also see the good in people at the same time#but u cant be unnecessarily cruel u know#and mc sometimes is an asshole just because#so thats where im like...contradictions#ANYWAYS i just always thought about that ever since solomon asked the mc to help him defend humans#and i was just like...idk man#and it didnt really have to do with me wanting to always be on the brothers side or anything#its just......can i care about people at a regular human level???#i dont wanna make 500 pacts and play mind games with demons to help lmao#it feels like im sticking my neck out for a world that would most likely not do the same for me you know??#maybe if i were immortal like sol then id sing a different tune?#i feel like if u live long enough u youll either really like humans or really hate him
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Hello I just excited saw your tags on an L post about what you think his enneagram type is !!! Can you go deeper into what u see his type as and why?? :)
Hi hi! I got into the Enneagram a couple years back for funsies, and I think L is probably a Type 5 with a 6 wing, which I guess is called either "The Troubleshooter" or "The Investigator" (lol, fitting).
The Type 5s tend to be quite logical and independent and intelligent, very focused on gathering information and sussing out meanings and analyzing and interpreting data. The Type 6 tends to be skeptical and private and cautious and focused, which I think would be his most likely secondary type (rather than the Type 4, which is a bit more of an artsy and emotional and sensitive type).
Here is what the write-up for the 5w6 says:
People with an enneagram type 5 wing 6 personality usually identify the most with the type 5, but also share traits with the 6 type. They tend to be practical, independent, and logical in their behavior. They are much more cooperative than other 5 types and have a passion for using their knowledge to solve real-world problems.
Basic Fear
Five wing sixes fear being useless or incapable. They seek to improve the world around them in order to feel worthy.
Basic Desire
Their basic desire is to be competent and useful. They usually show this by picking up new skills and pieces of knowledge that can be of benefit.
Troubleshooters may withdraw from others to cope with stressful situations, which can tend to make them feel lonely.
In summary, Enneagram 5w6 personalities tend to...
Be hard-working and analytical problem-solvers
Withdraw from others when stressed
Prefer to spend time thinking alone
Fear being incapable or incompetent
Make practical and logical decisions
Enneagram 5w6 Strengths
Being focused and well-organized
Passion for learning and growing
Solving difficult or complex problems
Remaining calm in times of crisis
Enneagram 5w6 Weaknesses
Struggling to relate to and understand others
Tendency to be private and defensive
Being perceived as cold or aloof
Difficulty taking action when uninspired
How Enneagram 5w6 personalities like to work
Communicating with an Enneagram 5w6
Avoid emotional expressions and allow five wing sixes space to think and process.
Meeting with an Enneagram 5w6
Keep meetings short and sweet; focus on clearly addressing the purpose.
Emailing an Enneagram 5w6
Be direct when emailing, allowing five wing sixes to share insightful and new ideas.
Giving feedback to an Enneagram 5w6
Offer constructive criticism and honest feedback; give specific areas for improvement.
Resolving conflict with an Enneagram 5w6
Focus on logically expressing your perspective; work toward a mutual understanding, allowing them time to think privately, if needed.
Enneagram 5w6 Motivations
Enneagram 5w6s tend to be motivated and energized by...
Solving or preventing problems
Spending time alone to gather their thoughts
Feeling like they’re contributing to society
Pursuing knowledge in the specific area that sparks their personal interest
Enneagram 5w6 Stress
Enneagram 5w6s tend to be stressed and drained by...
Spending too much time around others
Needing to be emotionally vulnerable
Feeling unwanted or rejected by others
Self-doubt and insecurity
--
I think it all sounds a lot like him. The introversion and fierce independence, the problem-solving skills and preoccupation with privacy when socializing, withdrawn when moody and listless when uninspired, etc. The list of strengths and motivations reminds me a lot of him when he is successfully honing in on Kira during the beginning of the story, and the stresses and weaknesses remind me a lot of L when he is struggling more during the Yotsuba Arc.
#l lawliet#ask#anon#p#i personally am a 6w5 which is similar but#idk it is not really the most fun type hahah reading about it is like#you are suspicious ALL THE TIME#sweet i guess?#but it is accurate for me in that i tend to create big networks of people i can consult about things#to get my bearings when i'm feeling unsure of myself or wanting some secondary opinions#like this here blog hahaha#my theory is because i had such a discombobulating childhood and had to rework my worldview fully several times so#i hate feeling left without a support network and#i am constantly on-guard for things trying to trick me or isolate me from others against my will and#although i'm not super extroverted i love having lots of other people available to consult before i trust in something without question#so i tend to LOVE suspicious characters like detectives who are always like hmmm idk about this#L is a fellow suspicious sally for sure#but i think he is more of a 5w6#wouldn't surprise me if maybe Near was a fellow 6w5#light is probably somewhere in types 1-3
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got this weird thing always where im always wondering if im a gay man or a bi dude-kinda or a bi girl-a-little-bit or a gay man-also-woman-a-bit, and its like. whenever im like "OKAYY I DONT CAREEEEE MAYBE I DO LIKE GIRLS" .... IMMEDIATELY my thoughts about liking women are gone like. when im trying to appease that. and then im like "hmm maybe i DONT like girls??" the thoughts about liking girls comes back
#and GENUINELY... COSMICALLY... if i really want to date a woman i would love to just allow this for myself. and am trying to#and whenever i try to its like ''yeah nevermind man it wasnt even anything''#so when i do go ''oh okay i guess it was nothing'' the desire to like women comes back#and maybe its a case of ''putting it off the table makes me want it more'' .. but its like.. when i say ''ok im bi'' its gone.#its like hey. come back. what happened i said i liked it. gone. until i accept that its gone. and then its back. chameleon type shit#permanently grass-is-greener type of living... please..#ALSO.... this happens with ''being a little bit of a girl'' because then im like ''ok cool man im a girl now. yup''#but when i put this into action i HATE IT and VEHEMENTLY need to go back immediately#and then when i go back im like ''but what if i WASNT just a guy..... hmmm...''#and its like that bit from courage the cowardly dog where baby muriel wants her mac and cheese 500 different ways#and is never happy when you give it to her#when i MOST think about ''being a girl who is bi'' is when i feel THE MOST like a gay man#& when i think about and put into practice ''being a gay man'' i CANNOT enjoy it due to the ''what ifs''#its like i have to do a schrodinger's sexuality on myself#genuinely really dont mind what my sexuality and gender is as long as im happy and YET.... its like chasing my own tail with myself#its funny because what i do know is that i love masculine terms i love being he/him'd i love being called a man i love my body on t#but... ''what to call this other than blanketly 'transmasc'.. if anything'' and ''who do i wanna fuck about it'' are like going in circles#and NOT to say people need anything more specific than just being transmasc or just saying ''im gay'' or being blanketly queer or anything#and maybe i need to take a page from that if its giving me grief. but ... *gestures vaguely*
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guhhhhh I love my solo bg3 run and character v much but my multiplayer campaign is so special to meeeee 💕 like tldr but it soothes a lot of the problems I have w dnd/forgotten realm’s writing to talk them out w others instead of slogging through them alone while writing revisions in my head
#v complex feelings about a lot of it!#not necessarily negative but it’s just… hmmm how to explain?#I’d enjoy dnd world-building/actual play shows/etc if I was able to consume more content made by other ethnic ppl…#there’s like a specific type of orientalism present in like. Every dnd product/show/book I’ve seen that gets exhausting to consume#sociopolitical writing is so western-centric and even it’s ‘criticisms’ r very…limited!#I’m not saying u gotta write a diplomacy dissertation when u write a campaign but gd would it kill bg3 to have an asian character#or write the g/thyanki better#it’s st I think a lot about as someone that write dnd stuff (running one campaign + tentatively plotting out two others)#and I regularly read wotc + dm guild + dm subreddit updates#and I’ve torn through a good portion of the 3e-5e campaign setting books + adventure modules#so this comes from a place of live as much as a place of hurt#*love#tho this is mostly just a post to shoutout how much I love jude + mei + sometimes ghost!bex
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