#i feel like i dont know who i am or what i am and everything i have been has just been what i think other people like
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syluslnd · 2 days ago
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hii i have a few requests i hope you dont mind 🥺🫶 feel free to pick to do any if they have not been done yet, they are kinda mostly prompts though 😭
sylus with a streamer/gamer s/o. like those fics where the fans go crazy when sylus shows up in the camera out of nowhere or hearing his voice. and sylus just being supportive about their hobby 😞❤️
sylus reaction when they have a cosplayer s/o, especially when they come home every day and they meet a new character daily or every other day 😭🤣
sylus reaction when s/o gets period stains during their date
sylus with s/o who cant cook but not the those exaggerated types where they burn the whole kitchen, they just didnt learn how to cook, but can do the bare minimum of helping like slicing and stuff and very easy recipes (projecting because i can't cook but am helpful 😭)
when you get your period mid date
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The evening had started off perfectly. You and Sylus were sitting across from each other in one of the fanciest restaurants in town, your skin-tight dress fitting you like a glove. The low lights, soft music and clinking of glasses around you added to the elegance of the night. Sylus looked especially handsome tonight, his gaze on you steady and smoldering and his signature teasing smile made your heart flutter.
Everything was going smoothly—that is, until you felt that familiar pang low in your abdomen. You froze, hoping it was just nerves. But then, you felt a sinking dread as the sensation intensified. Trying not to panic, you excused yourself, offering Sylus a nervous smile. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Take your time, sweetie” he replied with a slight smirk. “Don’t go missing me too much.”
You rolled your eyes playfully, giving him a quick wave before heading to the bathroom. But once you were inside, your worst fear was confirmed: a noticeable stain had appeared on the back of your dress. Panic bubbled up in your chest as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, mortified. This wasn’t just any dress, either; it was a pale color, practically a magnet for accidents.
Not knowing what else to do, you took a shaky breath and pulled out your phone, dialing Sylus’s number with trembling fingers. He picked up on the first ring.
“Miss me already?” His voice was laced with humor, but you could practically hear the smile on his face.
“Sylus” you whispered, cringing at how shaky you sounded. “Can you… um… can you come to the bathroom? I need your help. It’s an emergency.”
There was a beat of silence. “Are you hurt, kitten?”
“No! No, not hurt” you stammered, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Just…my period..I’m stained!”
“Got it. Stay right there, I’m coming.” He hung up and you leaned against the counter, waiting anxiously. But as the seconds ticked by, you began to feel more and more self-conscious. What was taking him so long?
After what felt like an eternity, the bathroom door finally opened and there stood Sylus—with a designer shopping bag in his hand. You blinked, trying to process the sight.
“Sylus, what…?” You trailed off, completely baffled.
He smirked, holding up the bag. “What? Did you think I was going to leave my sweetie hanging?” He stepped forward, setting the bag down on the counter. “Got you a new dress. I figured you wouldn’t want to be seen with… you know.” He gestured vaguely, clearly trying to spare you any embarrassment.
Your jaw dropped, both at his thoughtfulness and at the brand-name logo on the bag. “Wait, you actually bought me a new dress? From there?” you asked, pointing out the door, toward the designer store just across the street.
He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Seemed like the right call. Plus, I got to take my time picking something pretty for you.” His smirk widened. “Had to make sure it’d look perfect on my kitten.”
You let out a small laugh, overwhelmed with relief and gratitude, though your cheeks burned at the thought of him going out of his way for this. “Sylus, I… I don’t know what to say.”
“How about you say you’ll wear it and let me get back to showing you off to the rest of the place?” he teased, handing the bag to you.
You reached for it, heart racing as you peeked inside. The dress was stunning, a rich, deep color that would look amazing on you, with a soft fabric that looked comfortable enough to help you feel more at ease.
“Sylus” you murmured, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Thank you.”
He leaned down, brushing a soft kiss over your forehead. “Anything for you, sweetie” he replied, his voice softer, his teasing tone gone for just a moment.
You felt your chest warm and you tried to look away, but he gently turned your face back toward him. “Hey, don’t get all shy on me now” he said, his smirk returning. “It’s cute, though. Didn’t know I could get my girl so flustered.”
You laughed, half-embarrassed and half-touched and stepped back toward the stall to change. “I’ll be right back” you promised, disappearing inside and slipping on the new dress. When you stepped out, you felt a little self-conscious, smoothing the fabric over your hips.
Sylus’s gaze met yours, his eyes lighting up with admiration. “Beautiful” he said simply, letting his gaze linger as if he were committing the sight to memory.
You felt your cheeks warm under his gaze but a smile crept onto your face as you looked at him. “Think we can go back and pretend like none of this happened?”
He chuckled, offering his arm with a grin. “Of course, kitten. I’ll even let you hold onto the bag—it’s yours, after all.”
You laughed, taking his arm, feeling a surge of confidence as he led you back to your table. Sylus didn’t just make you feel taken care of; he made you feel cherished, like every little detail about you was worth his time.
And as you settled back into your seat, he gave you a wink. “Next time, just call me sooner. Anything to keep my kitten comfortable, you know?”
You smiled, knowing he meant every word. The rest of the night passed in a blur of laughter, stolen glances, and soft whispers and for the first time, you didn’t feel an ounce of insecurity—you were just glad to have Sylus by your side
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hannahluvsbillie · 1 day ago
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the only one
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casual part 3.
(but can be read as a one shot)
part one
✫ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ~ you thought billie had moved on, seeing her post like it was nothing, she was fine. maybe it was just casual to her.
★ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ~ billie eilish x reader
★ 𝐜𝐰! ~ mentions of panic attack, angst, nightmares (?)
ᡣ𐭩 a/n ~ hi! thank you all sm for waiting for part 3!! this one has a little time-skip, i’m thinking maybe 1-2 months since casual part 2. let me know if you like it, hopefully it lived up to your expectations 🥺
it’s been a few months since that last meet up billie and you had. the one where she belittled you and your feelings.
you blocked her the morning after, it wasn’t easy blocking her. someone you fell in love with, but you realized that it was one sided the day she told you it was just causal.
maybe you wanted her to spill her feelings on how she loved you, and didn’t just want you for a quick hook up to relive some steam. but deep down you knew that’d never be the case.
to say you’ve been doing good is a lie, you’ve been.. okay. dating felt pointless as of now, you knew your heart would always belong to billie, even if you two weren’t serious, it didn’t mean you loved her any less.
billie on the other hand, looked like she was doing great. i mean- it wasn’t like you’ve checked up on her, you were non contact. but on her instagram she looked like she was doing great. she’s on tour, her album is still doing good, she has good friends. it was bittersweet to see her now, it still made you cry some nights.
you were laying in your bed, staring up at the ceiling. you had just woke up from your sleep, a dream waking you up. the dream was a recurring one you’ve gotten for the past few months since you ended it with billie.
the dream went something like this: you were in bed and when you turned over, you see billie, sleeping peacefully. you just observe her for however long until your brain wakes you up.
it never went father then that, it was just a constant reminder of her. maybe that’s why you couldn’t get over her.
suddenly your phone starts ringing, waking you from your daze. you shake your head a little and roll over, grabbing your phone off of the nightstand and rubbing your eyes to see who’s calling.
who would call you at 3 am?
you read the number, you don’t recognize it. it’s your area code, but that’s all you recognize. god- they’ve called you 12 times.
you just decide to pick up, hoping they’d stop after that.
“hel-“ you clear your throat, trying to make it sound like you weren’t just asleep. “hello?” you say weakly.
“y/n?” the other person says.
your heart drops, how could you not recognize that voice? the voice that used to sing praises to you, who used to speak to you in the softest voice, the voice you fell in love with.
“billie? what the fuck?” you say, blinking repeatedly. you blocked her, how was she calling you? you pinch yourself once to make sure you aren’t still dreaming, only to be met with pain. okay, so this was real.
“i know im sorry- i just- i really need you right now, i have no one else to call and i don’t know what to do.” billie speaks, immediately apologizing. you can already tell she was in the middle of a
panic attack. her voice cracking when she speaks. you feel that same pang in your chest hearing her like that.
you take a deep breath, running a hand through your hair. “okay- bills- billie, calm down. breathe for a minute” you say. you regret answering, it just made everything come back.
you hear her take a breathe and go silent for a moment, before speaking again. “i’m really sorry- i know you blocked me and we aren’t supposed to be talking, but i just- i dont know what to do. you’re the only one that knows how to deal with me when im like- when im like this.” she speaks softly, her voice still shaky.
you go silent for a second, zoning out looking at the floor. inviting her over would be horrible for you, ruining all of the progress you’ve made. but fuck, you can’t just leave her alone, you can’t help but care about her.
“okay- fuck, do you want to come-“
“yeah.”
“okay.”
your eyes widen when she speaks. that was quick. as soon as she says yes you hang up, putting your phone down. what did you just do?
a few minutes later you’re pacing though the kitchen, waiting for the doorbell to ring. the gravity of what you just did sinks in, you shouldn’t of offered.
but as soon as the doorbell rings and you rush over to open the door- maybe a bit too quickly, and you see a disheveled billie, all of it disappears. god you just wanted to protect her from everything.
her hair sticks to her forehead, the same hair that you used to play with, her eyes were red and looked up at you with so
much guilt. it’s obvious she feels horrible
about coming here. maybe she wasn’t as good as it seemed on her instagram. it looks like she’s back in that place she was in when you first met her.
“oh, baby…” you coo, gently putting a hand on her shoulder and leading her inside. when you close the door and look back at her, she looks like a lost puppy, her eyes still swollen.
“i’m- sorry-“ billie chokes out, starting to cry again. you immediately pull her into a hug, gently cradling her head in your hand, the other hand gently rubbing her back.
“it’s okay billie.” you say, gently kissing her head.
you felt so many things, you let her into your house even when she broke your heart, you truely could never deny her, especially when she’s crying in your arms like this.
you’re fucked now.
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lillydoobiddle · 3 days ago
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pairing: Bestfriend!Heeseung x Fem!Reader
Including: smut, MINOR DO NOT INTERACT, kissing, pussy licking, virgin reader, fingering, pet name such as like good girl & baby
Synopsis: You just broke up with your boyfriend who cheated on you and Heeseung trying to be by your side as your bestfriend since you still kid but turns out everything goes wrong when he tried to help
Heeseeung and you already know each other more than 15 years. Both of you grew up together, going to the same school and collage. Of course that makes heeseung and you grew up as a best friend, you always share everything to him and he did the same thing too.
One day, you just broke up with your boyfriend and you just know that he cheated on you. You cry as hard as you can in your bedroom while heeseung lean his back on the wall rolling his eyes to back. It’s not because he didn’t care at all, but he’s too tired seeing you cry over that dick
“come on y/n, will you cry over that shit till your tears turn to blood? You deserve better dummy!” he said with sulky tone and then went closer to your bed to sat on the edge of it
“y-you wont understand!! Ughh just go away please” You answer his sentence that for you sounds very annoying. With frustrated eyes you raise your head up to face him, he looks sad with what you feel but cannot say lot of words
“Yeah yeah.. but please you already let your tears dropped almost for 2 hours” He looks very worried and then crawl closer to you on the bed before let his ass sat on there beside you
“Hmm how about we did something much more fun? You know theres a lot way to start forgetting about him since now!” heeseung try to convincing you right now, his right hand went to your cheek to remove any tears that will drop again
He never shows his affection like this before, this makes you feel something new on your stomach, the feeling were your face and body suddenly hot. You look at his fingers that remove a tears from your cheek making you swallow your salvia hardly
Before, you never care about his appearance but right now and right here you feel something weird in your stomach everytime you be with him. You glance at his long pretty fingers, that fingers also give a weird feelings in your stomach
“Hey answer me? You deaf after breakup huh?” heeseung teasing you and get rid his hand from your face before laugh softly “o-oh yeah sorry..” you answer with your words suddenly stuttering. “Maybe we can watch movies or baking! I know you love baking!” The man beside you said, heeseung know how much you love doing all activities he just mentioned
“Nah.. not in the mood” and this is how you reply to his offer making him more frustrated “You know what? Im very very hopeless now! How can he cheated on me after we date each other almost for one year? I don’t understand.. am I not good enough for him? Should i be prettier or should i—“
Your words cut off suddenly when something already pressed on your lips. It was heeseung’s lips on yours. On yours.
Slowly but gentle, his lips begin to move sucking your lower lips while his eyes closed. You are full of surprises now but his kiss feels goddamn good. He ran his fingers on the back of your hair before cupped your face so he can kiss you in better position . Heeseung push your body slowly to lay on the bed without breaking the kiss
“You dont know how long i hold this feeling… i dont wanna see you hurted for man like that” Heeseung murmur while slowly went to kiss your neck “You dont know that i can treat you better then him.. i can make you feel good everytime” His hand went to slowly undo the pajamas button of yours without stop kissing your neck
“i love you y/n and i dont want them to make you feel worthless” He keep talking few sentences that makes your face already red like tomato and now his kisses down to your chest and stomach. He also add his tongue while kissing your stomach and chest area
“h-heeseung? What are you doingg” your voice sounds very melty in his ear. The way you try to talk normally mixed with your heavenly moan that you try to hide but it fails tho
He raise his head up with a cheeky smile and soft giggles “im gonna teach you how to forget about him.. about that jerk. Gonna eat you all this night for me, for my own” His hand fastly went to undo your short pants and throw it away. He leaves you with your pajamas that already unbuttoned and your pink panties with small ribbon on it
He laughs seeing the sight of your face got even redder “h-heeseung we cannot do this.. friends dont do the way we did” You said as your breath getting heavier time by time especially when he begin to tug your panties aside, showing your cutie cunt that was clean and shaved
“Oh yeah?” He ask mockingly “Is that mean friends didnt do like this too?” he ask and then bring his finger to draw circle on you clit making you throw your head to back “Even like this? Did they do this?” he ask again but this time he enter 2 fingers inside you making you let out a pretty loud moan
“Fuck baby.. you are wet but also tight, never touch yourself before hm? Your ex never touch you before?” his voice sounds like he is very proud to be the one who touch you “Answer me baby..”
“Eumhhh.. n-never! I never touch myself before and else” You answer with your eyes teary feeling for the first time someone stretch your hole.
“Fuck fuck fuck.. so tight even around my fingers” Heeseung look so proud about the fact he is the one who stretch you before he start move his fingers slowly in and out from you. You still very very tight.. like very tight
“h-heeseung it hurts! Awwwhh~” another whined cames out when he start to move his fingers. You are not overdramatic but you literally just being stretch for the first time when you already live as a girl for 20 years
“I know i know.. be a good girl for me okay? I know you can take it baby” He said and slowly lean a multiple kisses on your clit while still moving his fingers inside and out from you. While he kiss and teases your clit, you just get even wetter making him moving his long fingers faster
You already cried from the feeling that you felt now. It was amazing, its really amazing especially when his fingers begin to hit every special spot inside you
“i-im cumming!! I feel— i feel like im very close!!” Your body already trembling a bit as you keep force your legs open “is that so baby? Cum for me..” Heeseung just being more crazy. He move his fingers more faster and slowly lick your clit harder and even bite it very gently making you can quickly reach your climax. When you reach your climax he took off his fingers inside you and watch the way those juices dropped from your pussy
“Good girl.. i love you so much” he went to kisses your cheek before laugh “You such a good girl.. or maybe a good friend?” He ask before laugh teasingly
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ygio · 2 days ago
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atem, in my mind, is demi. doesnt care for romance or feel attraction to anyone initially, no one makes him turn on the street, he has more important things to do. the realization that this can change comes with the realization that hes in love with yuugi and everything about his partner is attractive, like holy shit what is this feeling. atem is all kinds of overwhelmed but having a time
yuugi is the kinda bi that doesnt think about gender much. people of all shapes and sizes can be and have been hot to him. all his friends are hot. figuring this out didnt hit hard at all, it was a slow solidifying of that "oh. hm. makes sense" feeling over time. hes poly, too - his first crush ever was on a girl, second crush ever was on a boy, and he tried to set the two of them up. (respect tbh)
jou though? has a Moment. an identity crisis, or five. jounouchi is the kind of bi who spends his life thinking that all straight people want to have sех with their homies, its just normal. the realization that this is not in fact normal for straight people hits him at some point and is something he needs to digest
anzu prefers boys but her boy of choice wears chokers puts eyeliner and is shorter than her even in heels, and she absolutely made out with girls in new york. perhaps she wouldve had a mini crisis over it if she were back in japan, but hey, dancers are chill about it and when in rome..
bakura is gay and somewhere on the aro/ace spectrum. he doesnt do or understand romance and relationships the way an average person would and that is fine by him. girls are not interesting to him, and boys are interesting in very peculiar ways. "i want to put you under a microscope" is a declaration more intimate than "i am in love with you"
i dont know if it would be funnier if honda was the sole heterosexual in his entire friend group, or if everyone just assumed that he was, until he casually mentions being attracted to men, and everyone loses their shit. "wym why didnt i tell you? i thought you guys knew"
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bucked-it-up · 3 days ago
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I finally have some time and think about what happened in the episode and also in a way this season as a whole. This is probably going to be a ramble mess and I’m sure i will get some info incorrect as i am mainly doing this off of memory, i also haven’t fully read the post episode interviews but i know the gist of them. Now with that disclaimer out of the way I’m gonna just blurt my feelings out.
One. I want to start that personally for me the season has felt off from the beginning but particularly from after the opening episodes, i felt like the pacing was off and disjointed. I enjoyed the episodes don’t get me wrong but yeah something just has felt off for me writing wise, everything seemingly has been resolved quicker and easier than i think anyone thought it would be
Two. Might as well get into the meat of why i am rambling about my feelings. 806. Well it was certainly an episode. The miceli bucktomy scene that we have all looked forward to since we knew it was happening just immediately felt off. It was their 6 months? But yet Tommy seemingly got buck a present that didn’t fit what he has said about basketball at all in the past and to me felt dismissive as i was watching it. Buck taking a picture of the girls felt odd to me the tension about it idk just wasn’t for me but that part of the conversation could have led to interesting turmoil and lead to more stability. The Abby of this part. My first reaction was Ew. I was never one for the spec that Tommy was Abby’s ex never felt right and didn’t click but I would’ve been okay with it if it was handled differently. Tommy felt dismissive towards why Abby would be upset about a 2 year Relationship where they were engaged, like she had every right to be hurt and react maybe in a way you didn’t expect or like. While this led to a good speech from josh and gave buck the information he needed to know he would be happy in the relationship even if tommy had been with Abby and he understood why tommy did what he did or at least accepted it.
Three. The Break Up. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT! They both express a want for a long term relationship and tommy decides that no that’s not what buck wants? And it also feels like it goes against him wanting a family somewhere to be and they were showing that he was becoming a part of it in 805. Just what was the characterisation in that scene? They weren’t the buck and tommy i know. Him saying buck? Like fuck you writers. You could have written a break up in so much more of a respectful way, handled it so much more respectfully not apparently doing 805 the way it was just to make 806 hurt worse. You had such a beautiful peace of representation on your hands and you just fucked it up.
Four. What i know of about the interviews. As said above ive not read them. I’m not in the right place to right now but i do know the gist of them. Why do you want buck’s character development to just fall back to season 1 buck, Oliver? Why? Tell me why it would make sense. Buck has shown longing for a long term relationship from the first hook up of the show. He didn’t sleep around after Abby who was his first transformative relationship as he said and tommy was he second major one again something that buck said. So why Oliver would he choose to fuck around? Why?
Five. The Eddie and Buck scene at the end. I will admit i didn’t properly watch it because i was too sad and that scene felt like someone had just rubbed a whole load of salt in the wound. I find out then from my friend that they had buck come over to eddies while he’s doing that pantless dancing and has shaved. Feels like bvddie ship bait not gonna lie. Would buck go to Eddie after a break up? Yes he would they are best friends why wouldn’t buck go there. But why couldn’t the scene be different, have it come at it from a different way.
Six. I dont know if I’m going to carry on watching the show, i have no nope for bucktommy coming back but if you do I’m really happy for you sincerely i would like some of that hope tbh. If i do watch it i will probably watch it after hearing spoilers.
Finally, I’m not reading this through so pls ignore any small mistakes but if you do want to correct me on something please do it kindly and politely. I love you all, my inbox is open if you need to rant somewhere and please take care of yourselves.
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originaltravelerfun · 2 days ago
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my biggest problem with hazbin hotel writing after everything
guys do you notice how badly vivzie doesn't want to directly mention the theme of morality?
its always there, it flashes everywhere but she chooses to walk on edges. the redemption, extermination, falling in hell, god we literally have hell vs heaven war with these themes. and after everything the question "is this the right thing to do?" just exists like small stream of wind.
never in the show charlie asks herself "is my redemption plan is right?" she should know that there are very bad people who can also badly hurt others because she is there for a long. but this knowledge never brings up and we have to accept the fact that charlie is just an infantile and too stupid to comprehend evilness despite also knowing what good means. its really weird how the princess of hell who should already know the hellish history and society acts like she for the first saw someone like valentino being evil. SHE DIDNT LIVE FOR LONG IN HEAVEN (what could explain the blindness towards evil nature), SHE LIVED FOR LONG IN HELL, FUCKING HELL. how after many years she cant deal with the evilness of her people and instead just believe in a power of friendship? WHERE SHE WAS SO SHELTERED TO GET THIS MINDSET IN THE END?
its very weird how every theme that is revelant in this show, is literally connected with defining good vs evil BUT vivzie never, never makes us think about that. we just should accept the writing telling us what happened is good or bad, or even worse, doesn't matter and it was just for funnies (like that rpe joke with Sir Pentious).
the reason why this morality thing got in my mind is that im afraid what season 2 brings to us. im afraid that they will never mention elephant in the room: possibly irredeemable people. and hearing another doubtful information makes me scared that viv goes to the route "actually, there is no evil people and it just fault of some metaphoric disease that makes people evil!". and im very afraid of this happening in the future because it seems to be that everyone just ignores the existence of Irredeemableness. like doing evil doesnt really matter and there is just winners/losers side of history.
for some reason Sir Pentious in the past got in hell because of him ignoring the situation. let me mention he is the first to be ascended of all sinners and this backstory makes him pitiful for a reason. of all backstories, they chose the most depressing one. where he is a shut-in who had no will to change the inevitable situation. bro do not tell me you didnt do this to make another point of "innocent sinners"
emily. if not for emily, i wouldn't writing this. she is the angel version of charlie who also promotes "sinners deserve redemption" but also ignores existence of serial killers, rpists and another kinds of "that evil" people. the same problem charlie has but i can understand it at least.
I am not scared for saying this. viv seems to be not mature enough to even explore the concept of her show if she is afraid of exploring complete monsters (like exploring undoubtable evil AND NOT MAKING IT CONTROVERSIAL LIKE WITH VALENTINO AND ANGEL) and just stays on the line "of pure good (every main character) and wrongful revenge (VVVs, Adam, Lute and other exorcists, not gonna be surprised of Lilith adding to this group)".
of all characters, i only feel sympathy for lute (and also sir pentious with how he was handled throughout the show). sera was just stupid and wanted bloodshed because of her special placement in an angelic hierarchy. i dont believe this bullshit of her caring about well-being of her people when she went with extermination as it was nothing. all she should have said is that there are very horrible people and hell is not worth of being a threat to her lovely power. well, they didn't go for this route for some reason. now sera got in wrong too and she got in the first group with everyone.
TELL ME
TELL ME WHY NO ONE STILL POINTS ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM AND WE JUST ACCEPT THAT HELL IS JUST MISUNDERSTOOD
This is why I only care about Lute now because she is the only who has brain to acknowledge that there's monsters in hell
im so done with this show bro
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bakudekublogblog · 6 months ago
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talking to normal people about mha is always so enlightening because someone told me they didn't like season six and i was like???? THE BIBLE??????? YOU DONT LIKE THE BIBLE??? BAKUGOU KATSUKI RISING?? THE APOLOGY??? THE CHASING AFTER HIM TO FIGHT SHIGARAKI, THE REVEAL KATSUKI HAS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT IZUKU, IZUKU'S FERAL RAGE WHEN KATSUKI IS STABBED, KATSUKI BEING THE ONE TO FIND IZUKU AND THEN THE ONE TO BRING HIM HOME??? YOU DONT ENJOY THE SACRED TEXTS?? and then i'm like oh right not everyone is a fujoshi high on that sweet, sweet bkdk yaoi
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mayullla · 6 months ago
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NO I AM NOT OKAY. IF THIS PERSON WHO DID IT IS SOMEONE WHO FOLLOWS ME TAKE IT FREAKING DOWN. I NEVER GAVE PERMISSION FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND NEVER WILL.
If someone knows about this fic. Please please please I beg you please send a link to me so that I could report it. If I remember correctly it is only the author who could report something being stolen on wattpad. (The story they took from is one of my original works that is Just One Drop) And please if you do know or if you find out don't go attacking this person.
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 1 month ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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pansyfemme · 2 months ago
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i am going to pass out
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hella1975 · 4 months ago
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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snixx · 17 days ago
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you know as a neurodivergent person I only have two fucking requests of anyone I consider a friend: 1) do not cold shoulder or get aggressively angry with me for something you didn't bother to communicate you had a problem with and 2) do not fucking infantalize me and treat me like a naive fragile broken child who is a burden on everyone in my life. shouldn't be too hard right??? insane how many neurotypicals are fucking incapable of doing the bare fucking minimum
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rapidhighway · 3 months ago
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gonna vent for a sec but im so tired of this "don't wanna be an inconvenience", people pleasing shit ngl.....do people who do this know that they just come off as really rude and like... it just feels insulting each time
#idk it's so upsetting and discouraging im really tired of it#like bro.... everyone can see what you're doing and#you doing it just communicates that you think im a fucking awful person#if im going to be fine with like someone... putting themselves down for the sake of others#or denying help because thay dont want to be an inconvenience#it just feels rude#if you don't think that i genuinely want to help you#if you think that I'm just fucking pretending or whatever then why are you even here I don't want#a friend who thinks these thoughts about me xd#like#how many times do i have to assure someone#i just feel like shit#it really just feels so shittyyyyyyy#comeonnnnn#people can SEE you people pleasing and doing all that shit#and everybody fucking hates it#it just makes me super uncomfortable and i know it also makes other ppl i know very uncomfortable also#on one hand I don't wanna mention anything to this person because trauma is trauma what the fuck am i#supposed to do about that its just a trauma response but god i have feelings too#i want that person to also consider me because it feels so awful it just taints every single interaction#because it makes me feel like they think im some awful person who's going to be fine#with them carrying all their stuff even though i offered like 5 times and them just pushing themselves aside so i have space#even though im offering to share#AURGHH#it feels so bad#i feel like this every time i spend time with this person or any other person who does this that i know enough to like#recognize the behavior#idk im just tired I can't be putting all my effort#into reassuring every single step it's just sucking all fun out of everything we do together it just feels like shit whatever
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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honestly wally is stronger than atlas. if i had to constantly calibrate to the nature of my reality w/ full consciousness i would simply lose my fucking mind
#like babies dont Think while they learn how to exist#imagine straight up spawning fully aware and then everyone else is up to speed but youre standing there like#🧍‍♂️uh. hello. what is everything. what is this. huh????#LIKE???? i feel so bad for him. dude got dropped right into the middle of the ocean and was told 'learn to swim'#and hes trying. but he doesnt know what drowning is so he cant sink either#i mean i get it at least a little bit! its the Autism Experience but w/ him the dial is cranked up to a thousand#you dont know what you dont know but life goes on like you should. fuck#wally i am mentally beaming you a thousand apples grown in the shape of hearts#i believe in you dude you'll figure it out#well. im probably beaming apples into the past if the time discrepancy is real but yk yk#cause if it is then Current Wally probably has a solid handle on things. from a basic standpoint#in a wider lens i am led to believe that he is Scrabbling#is this speculation???#i think it counts.#wh speculation#homebogging#whenever i think about the tidbits we know - ex: wally learning about differences in size#internally i start howling. wally is just constantly dealing with things that would drive a person insane if they had to live it#how is he not Exhausted... it's all so much for someone who knows whats going on let alone someone scrambling to catch up#at least the other neighbors dont have to deal with memorizing physics and skills and behavior#and just Literally Everything That Comes With Being Alive#wally is a blank slate left to write itself.#ough. damn. fuck. i think i need to go stare into the woods for a bit...
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famewolf · 5 days ago
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I feel numb and angry and deeply, deeply sad. how can so many people be so blind and stupid and hateful? it genuinely makes me lose my trust in the people I see passing by me. and I don't want it to but so many more people came out to support such a vile excuse of a human shell. it's so hard to know that so many people picked their desire, their fleeting hope of touching power and wealth over the well being of millions. at least they will burn with us when he razes the economy
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petyou · 6 days ago
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realizing my situation is fr like probably the most niche thing fucking ever and i don’t think ill ever have someone like truly understand it or how im feeling and ive felt alone before but never like this idk
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