#i feel like i could have been more eloquent in my discussion

[spaceorphan18]

Has the alleged biphobia of Kurt in BIOTA always been an issue, or is it a recent upset for fandom ? I can see what the writers were intending - Kurt’s fear he’d lose Blaine to Rachel, and that’s why he said what he said. And Blaine’s retort that he’d say bye but wouldn’t want to upset Kurt was the writers trying to joke.

But it’s become the number one criticism of Kurt? And like so much in the show that maybe wasn’t an issue in 2010 is now an issue?

I mean, yes and no. I think the younger audience coming to it is less tolerant of this kind of stuff, and can be more harsh?

[I also think - and I'm not pinning this on one demographic - that people tend to see things in black and white, and weaponize mistakes to use as reasons to not like a thing.]

To put in perspective -- I am way younger than Ryan Murphy, but when I first saw this scene it made sense to me as someone who grew up in a time period when being gay was something you did not talk about, and a majority of people of people did not tolerate it. Like, at all.

Case in point - I have an old, high school friend who is gay. He came out in college as bisexual. He used bisexual as a way to kind of test the waters to see how those around him would react. Later, he fully came out as gay. It was a thing that happened, and a thing that happened way before society became much more comfortable with people in the LGBT community.

Look - I'm not saying that Kurt is in the right here -- he's not. He should not be dismissive of Blaine's sexuality exploration. But his words come from the fear, yes, Blaine would leave Kurt as a romantic possibility for Rachel. It is not indicative of how Kurt feels about bisexuals but about how he feels threatened of losing his one hope of an actual romance. And even though this script is credited to Ian Brennan, I have no doubt that Ryan Murphy, as an older gay man, had a big hand in this storyline.

I do know that Kurt had his critics back then. But I also think it's another way people can latch onto Kurt (or the show) being bad at being queer. Or another instance of pointing at Glee's biphobia. Now, look, I'm not saying Glee wasn't biphobic, because there are some really wretched instances of it, the worst being the fact that Brittany was never allowed to openly identify as such, but this is a Kurt's being terrible because of a personal thing. Not Kurt is terrible because he's biphobic.

And, idk Nonny, some people just like to take any reason to be mad on the internet.

[elysianightsss]

John, he’d been waiting for this moment, been waiting for you to come through the door with tired eyes, an ache in your bones and your head pounding so much you were disappointed that your instincts had kicked in when you slipped on some ice outside and caught yourself instead of letting yourself get knocked the fuck out. So disappointed.

And after a long train ride into the beautiful countryside, a taxi ride to the rustic cabin that always looked more like a cottage to you, you weren’t even bothered about special greetings anymore.

You practically collapsed on John’s lap, curling up there. Your sleeves pulled over your fists because you once again forgot a coat on the way out of your flat. Rubbing your tired eyes with said sleeve covered fist, you mumbled out a sleepy ‘hello’ to which he chuckled pulling your hand away from your now red eye.

“Hello to you too love.” You snuggled further into his neck, thankful that he had trimmed his mutton chops and beard down so they weren’t massively bushy and tickling at your nose like last time. “Long day?”

“The longest.” At this he grinned. John had been waiting for you to have a bad day at work so he could convince you to quit and live off of his money. He’d mentioned it so many times before but unfortunately you always thought he was joking and when he had rasped it into your ear while he was buried deep inside you, you thought that he was just being his usual possessive self.

Not fucking true. Okay it’s partly true, but John was serious. He wanted to put you up in his well polished cabin. Wanted to marry you so you couldn’t argue against him when he said ‘what’s mine is yours’. Wanted to come back from missions to find his cute little wife in his bed. He wanted to spend his free time gardening and baking with you. Going to the farmers market with you and he always wanted to try his hand at painting.

John Price wanted nothing more than to come home to you swollen with his child. Couldn’t wait to take leave so he could take care of you properly. Desperately wanted nothing more than to be there when you bore his child, holding your hand and telling you ‘you’re doing so well, my brave girl’. Wanted to see the sweet little baby that you made together on your hip while you told him all about the new curtain samples you got because ‘the ones in the den are ghastly’ as you so eloquently put it.

And now this was his chance to broach the subject seriously with you. If you agreed, which was a big chance because of how dishevelled you looked and how exhausted you must have been feeling. Then that was brilliant.

If you said no? Maybe he would have to resort to the old ways. Getting you fired. Getting you evicted. Taking all the fight out of you until you truly are broken and begging him for help. It’s not nice but it’s necessary.

“I have something I want to discuss with you sweet’art.” . . .

[hisui-dreamer]

rinnnaaaa!!! congrats on 2k, and i hope you have loads of fun with this event 💖💖 for my request, how about leona (haha i'm so unpredictable, ikr) with peonies! (any culture works <3)

fit for the throne

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x gn!reader

Synopsis: it wasn't fair how his life had treated him, so it was up to you to give him what he truly deserved

Tags: fluff, reader is a leona apologist, leona has never done anything wrong in his life :), reader is secretly royalty

Word count: 700+

Notes: thanks soru!! i hope you don't mind how long this took hehe. i poured all of my leona simp energy into this (⁠*⁠ﾉ⁠・⁠ω⁠・⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♫

Masterlist

flower of choice: peony

peonies are often referred to as the "king of flowers", because they overwhelmingly bloom in splendor, giving rise to interpretations of "wealth" and "magnificence".

A sigh interrupts your focus, drawing your eyes away from the grimoire cradled in your hands. Your focus shifts to Leona, who sits with regal poise in the armchair, embraced by the golden glow of the setting sun. The fading light plays upon the angles of his noble countenance, highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw and the elegant curve of his cheekbones.

“What’s wrong, love?”

Leona's emerald eyes meet yours, frustration etched into his features as another sigh escapes his lips. “It’s another letter from home. They’re requesting my presence for some big event,” he grumbles.

An eyebrow arches at his words. Undeniably Leona's presence radiates warmth and comfort, like the brilliance of a supernova that dispelled the darkness, but it isn’t unknown to you how his worth went unappreciated in his childhood. Surely, anyone could appreciate him better than the palace of the Sunset Savanah had. What could they possibly want with his presence now?

“An event?” you echo, your grimoire long forgotten now that something far more important has caught your attention. Rising from the desk, you move to settle on Leona's lap, his legs shifting so you can lean against him comfortably. "It doesn’t seem very considerate of them to request your absence from school," you frown, your fingers combing through his hair in an attempt to soothe his frustration. It's unlikely they truly require his presence; more probable is their desire for the second prince to make a token appearance, showcasing the facade of a happy and stable royal family.

He huffed at your comment. “When have they ever been considerate?”

It was unfair, how they treated him like a chess piece to wave about whenever they pleased, but refused to acknowledge when he had a voice. He had qualities that could rival the great kings of the past, but his potential is overshadowed simply by the order of his birth. You can't shake the feeling that his true potential is being squandered within the confines of his homeland.

You've observed firsthand how effortlessly he embodies the qualities of a leader. One of your favourite attributes about him is his intelligence. His mind is razor-sharp and perceptive, effortlessly dissecting complex problems with precision. From your casual discussions alone, you’ve gleaned that he possesses a keen insight into matters of statecraft and diplomacy, navigating political intricacies with a deftness that belies his years.

His voice is velvety, smooth, and rich, with undertones of authority. When he speaks, his words carry weight, resonating with a quiet power that commands attention without the need for raised voices or harsh commands. He possesses a natural eloquence and is able to convey his thoughts with precision and clarity, leaving no room for doubt or misunderstanding.

His profound care and compassion for his people fill your heart with warmth. Leona's unwavering dedication to bettering their lives is evident as he tirelessly pushes for policies aimed at fostering prosperity and equality throughout the kingdom. Yet, what truly distinguishes him is his genuine warmth and kindness, treating everyone with respect and consideration, irrespective of their status or background.

But perhaps most striking of all is the aura of calm that surrounds him, even in the midst of chaos. Like a steadfast lighthouse in a storm, he remains unshaken by the turbulence of the world around him, his demeanour unwavering and composed. It is this unwavering composure, coupled with his innate sense of duty and honour, that truly marks him as a king among men.

“You would never be fit to rule!”

The words of Lilia Vanrouge resurface in your mind, the ones that triggered your beloved into his overblot, and a surge of fury begins to build within you.

Because he is wrong, entirely wrong. Because Leona is the only person you could ever see ruling by your side.

Said lion beastman nestles against you, nuzzling his nose gently into your cheek, his way of silently probing your thoughts, having sensed your bubbling anger.

Calmness washes over you at his affection. He truly deserves the world and so much more.

You pulled away slightly, gazing directly into his eyes.

It shouldn’t be too difficult for him to fall in love with your kingdom.

“Leona, dear, did I ever mention that I'm the heir to a kingdom's throne?”

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[utilitycaster]

What do you think of the overall structural and character changes for these first three episodes of TLOVM S3? I've been pretty happy/they make sense to me, but I've seen some grumbling, particularly about the changes to J'mon's entrance. (Some believe they could have kept the fight and trial, thinking it wouldn't have taken up much time, which I am...dubious about)

Much as I enjoyed the fight and trial in the campaign I think J'mon's intro was fine and of the changes it frankly did not even register. Like...there's a lot of deviation, and if someone's fixated on that it's like. that? really?

Anyway just a quick rundown:

Changing Scanlan to have Kaylie present in Ank'Harel and for him to fuck up again with her is a good idea setting up the Bard's Lament, as is sort of removing the whole "do you spice" arc and leaving in a little nod to it, because like, that was funny in-game but it doesn't translate well

I am cautiously in favor of Vax being the one to pull away from Keyleth. I know Keyleth is tough to convey well in this adaptation - I think for all that her arc stands out more in the campaign, Vex's is easier to turn into an animated series - but the "Keyleth isn't sure and Vax is like I understand and I'll wait but like. could we make out" vibes in-campaign never really were my thing even though it was consensual, so this does sit a little better with me. I do hope Keyleth is given some opportunities to voice her own feelings though, complicated as they are, as well as like...this makes more sense in my critiques of Campaign 3 but in Campaign 1, early Keyleth was terminally indecisive. Conclave-era Keyleth was "I know what I DON'T want (the Clasp, Raishan)" which was a huge step forward, but shooting things down, while important, isn't the same as leading. She eventually reached actual leadership - knowing what she did want. I think if Keyleth can argue for the things she wants, even if they're a little different than they were in Campaign 1, we'll be fine. So we're in a holding pattern to see what she does. I think giving her a juicy spire of conflux retrieval in which she takes the lead would address any concerns.

Vex and Percy changes are great, the vibe is correct, that's all I care about and other people have discussed this at length far more eloquently than I will, as I'm going to bed in like 15 minutes.

Intrigued by Draconia changes, not sure what they'll be exactly but I assume they'll still destroy it. I think destroying it in front of Percy and Vex might give it the emotional weight it had in the campaign without, well, you know.

Moving the armor to the hells sounds great, I thought they'd just skip Plate of the Dawnmartyr tbh because it was kind of clunky and weird to retrieve but now I'm invested for Zerxus reasons.

I think I'm a lot more open to adaptational changes than much of the fandom? Like...look. I think if you hear "we're doing different things" for C2 and think "Molly lives", as discussed before, you do not get how this works. But the changes we have here all feel pretty true to the characters; not having every specific battle (ESPECIALLY because D&D battles don't always translate well to TV) is literally not even on my radar.

[pikahlua]

Fourteen Days of MHA: Day 3

Light Fades to Rain

Okay, let's gush. Here are my feelings about the anime adaptation of chapters 360-362: season 7 episode 11. This will quickly devolve from eloquent discussion to raging madness I promise.

The opening five minutes are the weakest part of the episode. This is the only section I will lodge any complaints about, and honestly they're not that serious.

The sadomasochism got toned down :P

I kind of expected it, and honestly I get why. Even though it was scaled back, the scene was effective enough for most viewers because there's just something about seeing it animated that makes it feel visceral anyways. The detail was always going to be reduced in the art when adapted to animation, and a lot of that art could've looked really bad without the necessary detail.

But it wouldn't be on brand for me if I didn't mention that it bummed me out lol.

The only other thing I can complain about isn't even an issue with the episode, it's an error in the subtitles.

"...you're just goldfish poop next to All For One."

a) It should be "One For All," not "All For One."

b) I don't think they should have kept it as "goldfish poop." Sorry to any language purists out there, but the idiomatic meaning of this phrase in Japanese will not get picked up by an English-speaking audience--and that idiom is important. It has an impact on how Katsuki behaves going forward. I think the subtitles should have changed that to something like "a minnow in One For All's wake" or "a tag-along weakling," ANYTHING to get the point across that Tomura is trying to inflict psychological damage by telling Katsuki he'll never amount to anything on the level of One For All. That message informs the rest of the episode!

Now, if that's the only complaint I have about this whole episode--a slightly too-fast-paced-under-detailed opening scene and a bad subtitle--then I'm a happy camper. And indeed that is the only complaint I have.

This episode is a masterpiece of adaptation.

The focus on the Big Three is so good because it does such a good job of masking where the episode is going but it's perfectly in-theme because of the parallels the three of them have with Izuku and Katsuki. IT JUST WORKS MAN. I LOVE IT.

The music that plays when Katsuki mutters is an excellent choice, though I wish they could have done something to hammer the point home more that he was indeed muttering and analyzing like Izuku does. Maybe the little "mutter" text would've been dissonant in tone lol but still I wish there was a way they could've done it. I do think the point does come across in the end still, but it's just more impactful when you get to see the little "mutter" text come full circle. Yeah yeah, manga vs anime and all that.

I didn't expect the tone they went with for Jeanist's reaction to Katsuki's muttering, but it was just different not like bad or anything. I kinda liked the whole "what the fuuuuck" vibe of it. I was thinking more like "Holy shit, I'm a proud dad" tone but this works XD

Jeanist is such a dad.

HE SPARKLE. KATSUKI, HE SPARKLE. IT SO PRETTY. AT LAST.

The animators were SOOOO trying to hide the twist this episode from the anime-only viewers, they didn't even put Katsuki on the commercial bumpers, they didn't want to SPOIL THE SURPRISE. IT'S SO GOOD.

Lost it at Tenko's freak out (damn voice actor wow) and Mirio's "g-gomen." I need the dub of this scene so bad.

JEANIST MY FIRST LOVE, DAD-ING SO HARD ALL OVER THIS EPISODE LOOK AT HIM GO.

Nejire is adorable as hell and everyone in MHA is so easily read as autistic it's remarkable actually.

They really put the typography behind the plasma cannon they actually did that.

UNF THAT PIANO. THE PIANO GOES OFF ALL OVER THE PLACE THIS EPISODE, DAMN.

Also good job on making the plasma cannon blast look small and precise to contrast Katsuki's attack last episode, because Katsuki definitely has more firepower but Tamaki has the finesse to concentrate the attack for a sustained period.

BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS

Everything from BOOTS on is perfection I know you all already know that.

Jeanist's voice acting is underappreciated, I really loved him this episode.

The little special sound effect for his clusters now!!! IT MAKES ME SO EXCITED. I CAN'T WAIT TO SUPERIMPOSE IT OVER KATAMARI DAMACY NEXT SEASON

Present Mic with the La Brava's-Love-quirk soft narration omg [chef's kiss]

OKAMOTO. OKAMOTO OH MY GOD. YOU GIVING ME FEELINGS WITH YOUR VOICE CRACKS I CAN'T SLEEP

The slo-mo shots are so pretty ;_;

THEY GAVE US MORE KUDOU TOO AND IT WAS SO GOOD, THE CONNECTION WAS DRAWN SO WELL BETWEEN HIM AND KATSUKI I AM LOVING IT SO MUCH. IT ALSO HELPS THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING AUDIENCE UNDERSTAND THIS IS DEFINITELY THE AFO-DOMINANT PERSONALITY NOT TOMURA.

Even if this series ends without explaining it, I'm going to come up with my own explanation for that vestige world shit. That cannot just be symbolic afterlife bullcrap. IT MEANS SOMETHING.

He's just a boy ;_; He's just a baby boyyyyyy

GIVE HIM HIS AUTOGRAPH BY THE END OF THIS SERIES SO HELP ME--

he spin thru the air like a meme

It's time for Horikoshi's favorite character: Bakucorpse!

You wanted the blue sky gone, but at what cost?

YES I'M LOVING THE VIBE FROM THE THUNDER SOUND

Oh...oh it hurts a lot to see in color, oh he's so pale...ohhhh no

THAT ENDING SONG? NOW? HOW DARE.

That horrifying feeling of emptiness at the end :)

The joy of watching others cry over this 👀

Katsuki is the actual symbol of hope I don't care what anyone says. All hope of victory is lost with his death and the only chance of winning comes from reviving him with the literal power of hopes and prayers and wishes. He is Hope Incarnate. A very Sassy (Soft Precious) Hope Incarnate.

[savagewildnerness]

The Vampire Lestat notes...

OK, so I am taking part in a The Vampire Lestat read along on Discord (organised by @old-long-john& @inkyblotposts!)

Don’t expect me to be this in detail every week as I absolutely cannot… but I realised I went SO in detail with my notes/thoughts on my read of the first part that I can’t share it all on Discord! Hahaha!  So, instead, I’ll post it here, link it there and maybe you’d like to discuss here too? Look, I don't do things by halves, OK!? So did I write nearly as many notes as there likely are words in this part of the book? Maybe... And...?!?!?!?! But this is my Tumblr and so I can post the notes in full here and what's more, I WILL!

Introduction:

I enjoy how out-of-touch with 'the youth' of the 1980's Lestat sounds and I hope that the TV show retains this in some way. Lestat, of course, would be pretty out of place in the modern era in some ways in how he speaks, particularly given that it seems the majority of the last century he's been hibernating with a plank piano and an iPad..?

Lestat says that "there was a romance" to modern music and I'm so curious if that's how he'll feel about some kind of modern music now, or, whether Lestat’s rock star career will just be 100% about Louis on the TV show?

"the way electricity could stretch a single note forever; the way harmony could be layered upon harmony until you felt yourself dissolving in the sound. So eloquent of dread it was, this music." - This reads to me like a musical description of vampirism?!

It makes me laugh when we juxtapose how Louis and Lestat describe how broken and scared of everything he is in his wilderness years in the books... yet Lestat here is like "Yeah, I was a bit scared... but in THREE DAYS I was roaring around on a motorbike...!" hahahah... I don't know whether to believe you or not, Lestat?! I also note here that it's impossible for Lestat's strength to have increased like it has here in the book on TV as he's already too strong on the show for that!

Quote I thought might be used on the show - "All people had a right to love and to luxury and to graceful things.”

Potential episode title - "Pure evil has no real place."

Surely this quote will be on tv… “It was enough to make an Old World monster go back into the earth, this stunning irrelevance to the mighty scheme of things, enough to make him lie down and weep. Or enough to make him become a rock singer, when you think about it…”

I was interested how Lestat describes how he jams with the musicians. Will The Vampire Lestat's music incorporate old French songs and brutal rhythms - eerie and disjointed music, as Lestat describes his playing?

"When I Iose my confidence, my powers drain." Found that interesting…

We'd better see Lestat standing stock still beneath a street light, whipping through IWTV at an insane speed till he exasperatedly tears it to shreds on TV!

Lestat dreams of "unprecedented rebellion, a great and horrific change to my kind all over the world." !!!

Lestat had better use the phrase "A velvet-lined motor coach" on telly! MAKE IT SO ROLIN! Please!

The ache for Louis Lestat has - for “his romantic illusions”, “his gentlemanly malice and his physical presence, the deceptively soft sound of his voice.”

There's a self-destructive excitement to how Lestat talks of being hunted and known "as no mythic monster has ever been fought by man before.”

Lestat's psychology… “How could I not love it, the mere idea of it?  How could it not be worth the greatest danger, the greatest and most ghastly defeat?  Even at the moment of destruction, I would be alive as I have never been.”

Lelio Rising.

So first of all… I noted the timeline as I went this time:

Lestat kills the wolves aged 20 (he specifically states that he is 20 on p38 if you have the new UK paperback version of the book… “The Winter of my 21st year” - your first year you are aged 0… when you turn 1 that is your second year.  So Lestat’s 21st year is from the day he turns 20 until the day before he turns 21.

As far as I can tell, all of Lelio Rising takes place when Lestat is 20 (apart from the flashbacks when he is younger.)  Lestat meets Nicolas and they begin their conversation as Winter turns to Spring in the year he is 20…. He first performs as Lelio in late-August of the year he is 20… and he talks of seeing Magnus in October of that year… soon after which, he is made a vampire.  Thus, I think Lestat will have been made a vampire weeks/days before he turns 21.  I’d personally like to imagine it happens on Halloween.

Regarding Lestat’s family… Gabrielle has 8 children.  The oldest boy is Augustin… there is one girl, but we don’t even know where she came in the birth order.  Lestat is the youngest boy.  Only one more boy survives… a boy whom for whatever reason, Lestat doesn’t mention by name even once!!?!

How Lestat self-describes: The dreamer, the angry one, the complainer, the hunter, unhappy, ferocious, a wild creature, bitter (haha, I typed BUTTER first!)

OK… on to the chapter!

The book starts describing the Winter and I was struck by how later in the chronicles, Lestat will often dream of this snow and how this bitter Winter is the opposite of death for a vampire - who die in fire or The Sun…

“In the winter of my twenty-first year, I went out alone on horseback to kill a pack of wolves.”  Wouldn’t that have been magnificent as the actual first line of the novel?!  Just saying…!  I mean, it kind of *is* the first line!  I wonder if Anne wrote the introduction first, or this?

Lestat being brought back with his wings broken made me see Nicolas’ mind-bird in my mind.

“White-wigged Parisians in high-heeled satin slippers” was so redolent of Louis and Lestat at the Mardis Gras ball in S1 to me.

“Though I speak of them as dogs now, they were known only by their names to me then.”  What a beautiful, sideways way of expressing what the dogs meant to Lestat.

I love how hunter-Lestat is described almost like a beast himself and it makes me so excited to see this on screen.  I also love the way he understands the wolves’ strategy - thinking like the wolves think.  We’re gonna see a FLAIL, folks!

Lestat’s horse’s death is the first truly gothic description…. It always makes me wonder too whether that Lestat found it in himself to kill his horse in mercy for her suffering isn’t as much a reason for Magnus to pay attention to him as the fact that he killed the wolves? Also I’ve begun to notice Anne Rice loves to compare things to insects…

When Augustin says Lestat didn’t kill the wolves, then retracts it & Lestat says the next thing he knew he was lying alone in his room… I mean… it can be read at face value, but I also wonder - is there something that happened here that Lestat doesn’t write?  And if so, might the TV show go there?

Breaking the bullet points up as tumblr won't let me post...

I noticed a lot of what Lestat will later seek in his relationships and how he is in relationships in his relationship with Gabrielle.  Gabrielle is not a touching-person, but the moments she allows a tiny bit of conversation… it leans into me thinking of Lestat and Nicolas’ conversation… the way she gives him gifts and *things* when he struggles… it creates Lestat the gift-giver, it seems to me…?  This is how he is shown love and so this is how he learns to give love.  The way withdraws surely creates Lestat’s sense of being “too much” as much as his Father and brother telling him his is ‘wrong’ does?

“I wanted to be enclosed forever with people who believed I could be good if I wanted to be.” - I wonder if the TV show will go down the route of Lestat’s quest for goodness?  I hope so!  At this time, I think 12-year-old Lestat found goodness in the order of the monastery versus the chaos he felt in the family castle (haha, the family castle!) And I also feel like he felt goodness in being made “ordered” rather than “chaotic” himself.  However, I don’t think Lestat would have been happy in the end in so restrictive a place, much as I am sure he would have loved learning.

Gabrielle buys Lestat his first mastiff puppies, a good horse and a rifle when he is 12.  She creates Lestat-the-hunter.  She later will say she feels Lestat is the man in her, the man she cannot be in this era.  And she literally chooses what Lestat will be.  She doesn’t teach him to read, even though she knows his curiosity to learn, even from the way he talks.  No, she decides the boy will become a hunter and so Lestat does.  Becoming a hunter is also something that will bond him more tightly to his home.  It’s not something that’s ever going to lead to a route to escape for him.  Teaching Lestat to read might have led to Lestat fleeing for Paris far sooner…. I don’t know.  Gabrielle will later say she kept Lestat prisoner as surely as his Father and brothers and I really felt that on this re-read…. Even when Lestat runs away with the theatre at 16 and so Gabrielle truly then knows how Lestat wants to escape… what does she buy him?  A fancier rifle.  A thing to keep him more tightly where he is, hunting here for the family.  She begins to talk to Lestat in conversation.  But it’s like she’s placating on both sides - so Lestat will stop getting beaten (to keep him here) and so he’ll have just-enough mental stimulation to keep him where he is too: here with her…?  I understand it from her perspective.  Imagine how alone she’d be otherwise.  But it’s interesting to me.

“The silent ebb and flow of life felt deadly to me.” - surely Lestat will say this on TV?

I got annoyed thinking about Lestat playing Harlequin as I read the Commedia Dell’ Arte talking about how an actor plays a single role for life… although… metaphorically, could we say Lestat truly *is* kind of playing Lelio for life once he is immortal?!

After Lestat returns from the theatre, this is when he really begins to despair and to believe he will never be free.  I was struck by how he says he becomes more useful in this time.  Isn’t it often the way - with no hope for his own future, he sinks into the role of provider and caregiver and the only way he can ‘be good’…. It also makes me think how in the future, when in despair, Lestat will rush to *do* some mad scheme or other.

Hahaha at Lestat valuing his Mother’s physical beauty as having inherent value, the vain little irritant!

I did wonder, when Lestat tells Gabrielle how he dreams of killing his family… given how they have made all the characters worse on the show, I really HOPE they don’t make Lestat LITERALLY kill his family.  It crossed my mind that they *could*… PLEASE DO NOT.  I don’t think they will as it counters the ensuing conversation, but I had a sudden flash of FEAR!

This conversation though, Gabrielle takes Lestat seriously.  She always takes Lestat seriously, which I love her for.  Much as I believe Gabrielle doesn’t love Lestat enough… I think it’s probably pretty rare and a very special thing for a parent to take the thoughts of their child and who they are so seriously and not to dismiss them?

Gabrielle seems to love Lestat more now he’s 20 as she can see him as a man rather than as her son.  She likes to talk to him as if he were not her son.  She hates to be called Mother.  She seems to love to feel him as a comrade.  And I will say here that if I feel Lestat isn’t loved enough by Gabrielle… his brothers… she literally despises them.  I know they seem awful, but imagine not receiving even one iota of love in your entire life from your mother, which must be their experience.

“You don’t have to take upon yourself the burden of murder or madness to be free of this place.  Surely there must be other ways.” - This is the spark that makes Lestat first believe he might not have to be obedient in order to be “good”.

I love Gabrielle’s quote “I am purely myself.  I belong to no one.”

I love too that even in this introduction we get Lestat the hunter, the killer juxtaposed with Lestat the aesthete and Lestat the thinker, feeler and (he wishes!) learner…

Little break, because my favourite time is now starting - it’s Nicolas time!

Lestat describes Nicolas (at different times) as: a vision, witty, dismissive, sneering, excited, sarcastic, intelligent, melancholy, cynical, bitter, full of energy, passionate, handsome, ironical, sad, scornful, mocking, miserable, weary, dejected.

Will Nicolas say “I too am impossible, Monsieur.  Only the impossible can do the impossible.”  Surely he will, and surely “Only the impossible can do the impossible” will be the title of the episode where Lestat kills the wolves?

Lovely foreshadowing that Gabrielle says Nicolas was inspired to play violin by watching a virtuoso so impressive people said he sold his soul to the devil and then suggests that maybe Nicki can do the same.  “I laughed a little uneasily.  It sounded tragic.”  Oh Lestat, you have NO IDEA!!!!!

Will Mozart be in S3?  I HOPE SO (& think so!!?!).  And Marie Antoinette, too!  Surely!

Obviously we’ll hear Nicki’s Father was threatening to break his hands for the foreshadowing too!

“I think I loved him already, doing what he wanted like that.”  A few pages later… “I think I loved him.”  Lestat falls hard and fast, like love at first sight.

I just want to add here that it’s an absolutely ridiculous concept that Nicolas STARTS playing the violin aged 20 and immediately is able to be as good as he gets!  He might feel he can never be good enough… but he must be literally a genius if he’s become even that good at the violin when he’d never even picked one up a year ago! How do you think playing an instrument works, Anne?!?!?!?!  You just pick it up and instantly - BAM you not only can just do it, but you’re great!  If only!  And Mozart is willing to take on a complete beginner as a pupil, too?!

In Lestat and Nicolas’ first conversation, it feels to me as though Lestat is infecting Nicolas with his light and optimism and it really made me understand how much Nicolas truly did need Lestat - like he is Nicolas’ hope.  Until…. (We’ll return here later in the book!)

I wonder how the fact that Lestat is born in The Enlightenment - a new age of Reason will impact how he is portrayed on the show?  Obviously we’ve seen already how it’ll affect Armand!

When Nicolas brings up The Witches’ Place, Lestat doesn’t immediately remember - as if he has repressed the memory as it is traumatic.  I need The Witches Place on TV, but I can’t imagine how we can get to it?  Nicolas would have either not yet been born or have been a baby when this happened, so he cannot remind Lestat; Gabrielle would absolutely never bring up such a story in retrospect… and Lestat has repressed the memory… so how can we now get to The Witches’ Place?  Also, I find it interesting that Lestat says Nicki studies him as they talk about this… to ascertain how Lestat feels about it now?

I spoke of Lestat’s love for Nicolas, but when Nicolas is saying “Ah, you are a dreamer! My lord, the wolfkiller.” It feels Nicolas loves Lestat as well.  And of course, Nicolas also says “I love you” to Lestat, in Paris.  I love how, in this first conversation they both discover what it is to be truly known by another being - in how they share their lives and their longings and their dissatisfactions and they truly listen to and empathise with each other.  It definitely feels like (beyond his Mother, who really was more sporadic in her attention), this is Lestat’s first experience of truly being seen by another being.

“I think I was happier than I had ever been in my life.”  Lestat is so joyous here.  When he hears Nicolas play for the first time, he kisses Nicolas on both cheeks and then the violin!  You can just imagine the infectious joy!  And it’s such a contrast to how Lestat is afraid to touch his Mother

Lestat then (of course!) promptly cries!  (Is Sam’s Lestat going to burst into tears as often as Lestat describes it, because get him ten thousand gallons of water to drink - he’ll need them!!!!  Lestat also cries at the most random moments… but we know Sam is up to the task!) Nicolas seems deeply moved too that his music had this effect.  Perhaps Nicolas initially expected to find a kindred spirit in ferocity and rebellion in Lestat?  And he did!  But he found a match in sensitivity too.

As conversations go on, Lestat and Nicolas find their differences with opposing worldviews and interestingly they often clash about the goodness inherent in art… and yet they then come together in art (for example as Nicki plays violin and Lestat dances…)

The idea to go to Paris actually comes from Nicolas - he is the instigator.  And it feels like they are both, at this point trying to escape the meaninglessness of life.

Lestat’s “Oh, oh, oh!” crisis moment really reminds me of… *warning - slight spoiler for first time readers* what Lestat will later see in Nicolas’ mind… and it gives a different vibe to things to know that Nicolas is Lestat’s comforter in this moment and tries to relieve Lestat’s pain, but basically this is Nicolas’ mind 100% of the time.

“It was not better in the morning.”  In fact this existential crisis, his malady of mortality becomes Lestat’s eternal yearning ache of questioning than can never be fully assuaged (maybe on the TV show, the answer will be - Louis’ love.)  It never goes away, and any time someone describes Lestat as just FUN, I think back to this - because at the core of Lestat (and as I see it, at the core of The Vampire Chronicles) is this terror that existence is meaningless and that no life has any meaning at all.  That there are no answers we’ll ever receive, not even when we die.  That there will be no retribution or reward or even knowledge in any way.  That all there is is existence and non-existence.  This will obviously only be heightened once Lestat becomes a vampire, so must take life in order to survive and force countless souls into non-existence…. In in fact, Lestat’s focus on death and chaos has this nihilistic hint to it which is so the opposite to how Lestat is generally perceived.. and, admittedly how he tries to come across, too!  Lestat says he doesn’t believe in presentiments, but narratively this all is a presentiment and literally it is to be Lestat’s eternal malady of immortality as well.

I had some very personal thoughts at this point, when Lestat goes about questioning everyone… which perhaps I won’t share….  Well just to say that sometimes when something big happens in your life, you literally see the world in a different way.  I am thinking on a time when all of a sudden I began to look at people & it felt like I could *see* the weariness of their souls and internal fragilities, just looking at strangers’ faces and it was really unnerving and overwhelming, especially going about in crowds…

“Drew me as strongly as it scared me.”  Isn’t this always the way?  I hope the writers always have this quote in mind throughout the entire show’s creation!

It’s interesting that before Lestat heads to Paris he is now toning down how much he tells Gabrielle and instead it is Nicki he will fully open up with.

I love the part where Lestat hugs Gabrielle and she gives herself over to him and he witnesses her cry for the first time and loves it.  I had a very similar experience with my Dad once when I was a child, heading into being a teen and I can still conjure the scene and how it felt… and I felt similarly about it too…

At the end of chapter 6 it seems Gabrielle is saying she’s always lived vicariously through Lestat & now in sending him away as she’s dong, she hopes to continue to live vicariously through him still in some way as she approaches what she thinks will be her death?  Reading this time gave me big Magnus vibes in how he perceives Lestat too… weird!  Like somehow, both seem to desire to live vicariously through Lestat?  Could we even say it of Nicolas too, in a way?  He needs Lestat, to feed on his capacity for joy… hmm… I don’t know… I’m thinking as I type…

I love the feeling of freedom and optimism when Lestat and Nicolas first arrive in Paris  - the true start of living life!

And yet, Lestat still talks of his trembling, terrifying existential dread that settles upon him every night and which Nicolas tries to encourage him to let go.

Vampires have preternatural ability to mimic, but as described, Lestat already learned in this way it seems, in the theatre.  I love how he describes his fear evaporating and how he loved being on stage.  I love his determination and how convinced he is he will be a great actor.  I love how Lestat and Nicolas are described here and there’s a tantalising feeling of how their future might be…

The Autumn arrives with it’s personification of Dread.

Malady of mortality surely has to be an episode title?

When Lestat wraps he and Nicki together in his cloak against the show and rain, it feels simultaneously real and metaphorically poignant.

Lestat genuinely thinks if he could just get Nicki to understand the truth Lestat feels certain of (goodness in art and making others happy through your art), all would be well, but Nicolas still believes goodness can only come from obedience and self-sacrifice and denial and, thus, he knows himself to be evil.

“Light and beauty come together in you in a thousand different patterns” is such a beautiful thing Lestat says to Nicolas.

Nicki’s final words to mortal Lestat are a soft “Let’s go to bed.”  (Do you think show-Lestat will be ripped out of post-coital Nicolas’ arms..?)

Finally: Questions:

At the start of TVL, Lestat has been In The Earth. Do you think he will have been In The Earth in this era on the TV show? (As Louis has seen him pretty recently, which makes it seem like perhaps he won’t have been?)

The ‘spirit’ of 1984 reminds Lestat of the 1700’s. Will there be anything about the 2020’s that Lestat will associate with/that will remind him of the late eighteenth century?

“I did a lot of thinking about this sinless, secular morality, this optimism” - will this be a driving force for modern day Lestat? What will he think about in relation to right now?

What music will Lestat listen to? He listens to a lot of Bach when he first rises in the book (while driving his Harley-Davidson.  Is there a security both in the structure of Bach and in the fact his music is from an era predating even mortal Lestat that makes Lestat feel safer entering the modern era?

Lestat talks about coming back after killing the wolves and feeling that he was ‘not-Lestat’, so I thought we could discuss - did killing the wolves change Lestat, and if so: how?

When Lestat goes into a depression post-killing-the-wolves, is this essentially a human version of “Going into The Earth” as Lestat will do numerous times as a vampire?

How will the French Revolution impact the TV telling?

When Lestat talks of how he could have poisoned meat to kill the wolves, but meat was too scarce… is he in a veiled way saying that his life has less value than a piece of meat?

“I don’t think I felt the slightest fear then.  But I felt something, and it caused the hair to rise up on the back of my arms.” What exactly is the “something” Lestat feels when he sets out to kill the wolves?  And why is he not afraid? Bravery? His hunting spirit? His impulsive, adventurous nature? Stupidity? Naivety? Only feeling truly alive in moments that contain the potential for death? A lack of care whether he lives or dies (borne of despair}?

Reading the wolves section, with the dying animals and even after this too when Lestat talks of his ignored/thwarted farming plans for his family’s land… It made me wonder, just a curious ponder - if Sam might have had any experiences in real life connected to any of this stuff, given his family’s line of work…?

Is performing with the theatre troupe at 16 the first time Lestat truly feels pure joy - he describes it as ecstasy?

How can we now get to The Witches’ Place if Nicki can’t have witnessed child-Lestat there, Gabrielle would never tell the story and Lestat has repressed the memory…?

[vickyvicarious]

So, I noticed something kind of interesting today. Seward's diary never mentions Renfield by name. And that's not totally out of the ordinary for him - I went back and looked, and there are several other times so far that he doesn't name him (18 June, and 1, 8, and 19 July). But in each of those entries, Seward is entirely focused on figuring out Renfield; nothing else is discussed at all. Not naming him is simply because each entry is continuing the same thought/preoccupation. And in fact, on both the 8th and 19th, he calls Renfield "my friend" - the lack of name is not due to emotional distance.

But today it felt more like that. We haven't heard from Jack's diary since the 24th of August, when Renfield escaped on his own terms briefly rather than taking the intentional opportunity given to him. That whole "plan" was a huge unprofessional mess on Seward's part, and I wonder if he realized that at least a little. He went quiet for a good few days, until he heard from Arthur, and then in his treatment of Lucy we see him being a much better doctor and friend than he's ever been to Renfield. Where he's drugging Renfield to sleep so he can go through his journal, with Lucy he is very respectful and makes sure he has consent to share medical information. And so on. Obviously he thinks of Lucy and Renfield in very different ways and has different standards for what is acceptable to do - or even considered as an option.

But I still find it interesting that when we see him writing about Renfield again, this first entry feels a lot more removed than before. It feels like Seward is trying to be more professional and less emotionally involved. He names Renfield at the start by his supposed disorder ("Zoöphagous patient") and at other points refers to him again by role ("my patient") or what he represents ("a wonderfully interesting study"). But he never calls him by name or by any more affectionate nickname such as 'my friend'. He also notes his madness multiple times, musing about madmen and lunatics and wishing he could understand his mind.

A part of me wonders if there is a slight element of Seward recognizing just how out of control his own behavior was getting, and trying to rein it in. It would make sense for him to be doing so either after the escape plan went wrong (and Renfield was furious with him in particular, and he ended his entry saying he'd never forget that night) or after the company of people like Lucy and Van Helsing helps to sort of forcibly reconnect to friends who keep him more humane/sane himself. As well a patient he deeply cares for and wants to treat respectfully (Lucy) potentially making him feel a bit off-balance in how he is treating his 'other' favorite patient (Renfield).

I do have to point out how all of this more distant wording is just dehumanizing Renfield in another way, of course. And it doesn't seem like much about Seward's actual behavior has changed - he still folds pretty easily in the face of Renfield's "cringing" supplication/flattery, and thinks he is indulging him in order to better understand. He still is obviously fascinated by him and takes a strong personal interest in his care. But it feels a little bit like the way he talks about it is at least trying to be more distant.

...Though maybe that's partially just his melancholy. Seward talks multiple times today about not understanding/wishing he could understand Renfield. And for the most part, it reads as more frustrated/downtrodden than previous times. He doesn't have much speculation to offer until the very end of his entry. Is it possible that he is feeling a bit upset about not being able to figure out Lucy's illness, and it's spilling over?

And there's of course the really eloquent line in the middle of this entry describing how he feels returning to "all the grim sternness of my own cold stone building, with its wealth of breathing misery, and my own desolate heart to endure it all." That makes it sound a lot like his time with Lucy and Van Helsing (and talking to Arthur) was really good for him. He needed this friendly socializing, and even if the circumstances weren't ideal, he got to spend time with people who genuinely care for him. Who aren't just using him when they ask for things, who are just as eager to help him, who like him for who he is and have fun being with him. And then he goes back to the asylum.

He doesn't truly like it here. It's not good for him, he's at his worst when he's isolated here. And yet I wonder if, upon his return today, knowing Van Helsing has left and that he's returning (at least mostly) to his customary isolation, he feels much more aware of that than ever. In the past, he's thrown himself willingly if not eagerly into his work, but even the fascination he still feels doesn't seem to boost his mood today. I think he's feeling lonely.

I also think he's feeling a little bit of resigned "this is where I belong" and his more distant language reflects that. It's not just Renfield, after all. It's Lucy, too - he's been calling her by first name in his letters to Arthur, but today in his private diary he calls her "Miss Westenra". And it's not just because he's talking out loud, because he's called her "Lucy" in his diary before. So the more formal address today seems to fall in with the pattern happening with Renfield too. He feels alone, he feels lonely, and so his wording displays less connection to others.

[zadig-fate]

Thoughts on the choice to write Everyone's Waiting in English

So I've seen a lot of criticism (or implied criticism) within the fandom of Bojan's choice to attempt an emotional song like Everyone's Waiting in English and complaints that his lyrics sound clumsy or less emotional/less genuine because he's not as good a songwriter in his non-native language. While I agree there's room for improvement in that respect, I want to examine and also defend this choice from a different perspective.

More below the cut, but tl;dr: even if the output isn't as eloquent, processing difficult feelings and personal struggles can actually be easier in your non-native language because it provides some distance and forces you to rethink how you view them.

When JO first announced they were moving to London and planning to do more songs in English, there was a lot of pushback, and those of you who remember the live discord Q&A (which I think was moved to IG or TikTok because of video troubles?) might remember Bojan getting a bit annoyed about this and stating that ultimately they make music for themselves, not for the public, and that while they appreciate the resonance their music has found with people, it's still first and foremost theirs.

This statement is always on my mind when I think about their choice to experiment with English songs and new sounds. And obviously I can't read Bojan's mind, but I can imagine that writing songs in English, even if they're not perfect, might give him a kind of personal satisfaction and a tool for working through his feelings that writing in his native languages doesn't.

Disclaimer: the following are just my non-scientific observations.

Some of my mutuals might know that I work as a translator, specifically as a literary translator. I recently translated an incredible book written in German by a Czech author. He is quite a famous Czech writer and this was the first book he had ever written in German, his non-native language. It deals with a lot of difficult themes like WWII, the Nazi occupation of Czechoslovakia, etc. When I met with him to discuss the English translation, he told me that he had to write this book in German because he couldn't write it in his native Czech. It would feel too close, too emotional. So he chose to write it in German, where he could examine these feelings from a distance and write a more honest book as a result.

And honestly, I get it. My native language is English. I learned German, my second language, as an adult, so to me it is and will always be non-native. I struggle with depression and anxiety and have been in therapy in both languages. I have personally made a lot more progress doing therapy in my non-native German than in my native English. You just fall into a lot of familiar thought patterns in your native language... it's easier to think less critically about your feelings in your native language because they feel so natural.

There's a kind of distance you get when processing your own thoughts and feelings in a fluent-but-non-native language that forces you to engage more consciously with them. You have to describe them in different words, in a different language altogether, so you have to reflect hard on what you really think and feel and how to best describe that in your other language. It's not possible to have a kneejerk reaction; you're forced to think things through.

It can also be easier to express thoughts in your second language that might feel uncomfortable in your native language because the words themselves are bound up with so much more emotion and context. And it places you a step away from the family and peer pressure in your native language. Bojan has even said in interviews that he feels more free to be himself in Serbian or English while feeling pressure to be a "good boy" in Slovenian.

All in all, if we take JO and particularly Bojan at their word that they're doing songs in English because they want to and not because they feel like they have to, I can see how writing in English might be genuinely therapeutic for Bojan, even if the end results are not as polished as his Slovenian lyrics. They may be more honest, even if they sound less refined and native.

I guess the question is whether he could have written Everybody's Waiting in Slovenian. From a technical standpoint, of course the answer is yes, but from an emotional one...? I'm not sure. Personally I can imagine that his anxieties might be easier to admit to and examine in another language, and not in the language of the country(ies) where he's so famous and has become such an idol. Maybe he feels like English gives him more distance and freedom in an emotional sense, even if his lyrical output isn't as strong. I can't read his mind, I can only say that I would understand.

[bonefall]

Is Crowfeather's parenting and abuse of Breeze going to be any different and/or handled differently by other cats in BB? Thinking about his honor title being for Feathertail and... ugh this poor woman having to watch a cat who named himself for his love for her be so horrible to his own kin after she's torn from hers so soon. She should get to come down and knock some sense into him, if that's even possible

I haven't been able to get into BB!Feathertail yet, but she's fascinating honestly. I like the vibe that Feather x Crow is like this cosmically doomed ship, destined to torpedo itself time and time again for various reasons, and that's the foundation of them in BB.

They were NEVER going to work. Crowfoot has a ton of issues he's working through. Feathertail values herself too much to allow him to mistreat her in the meanwhile. If Feathertail never died, the breakup would have been good for him. He REALLY needed it, actually. Calm, funny, easygoing Feathertail just laying their problems on the table, why she doesn't want a relationship, but still spinning it in that way-of-hers that softens a hard blow.

It wouldn't have fixed him overnight, of course. It just would have been a spark. Paws on a better, happier path. Not a lover in another Clan, but a friend, if he took her words to heart.

But she's dead. She died horribly. And her memory is this perfect fantasy for the magical, flawless love they could have had, an impossible standard Crowfeather viciously holds all of his future lovers to. So as a spirit guide, with all her eloquence, she'd say to him, "That's not very cash money of you."

But anyway, on Breeze's abuse.

For one, I absolutely would want to make sure to stress Breeze's good qualities sooner and harder, and explicitly make them friends at certain points.

The Tribe Journey in particular, where there's a lot of opportunities to get him away from Crowfeather. By the end of it, I would want to include a poignant moment where they have one final nice moment together, before Crowfeather barks for him, and it's gone.

(and, also, add a couple of cats who help The Three discuss their complicated emotions towards seeing their bully being abused.)

I would also actually remove the way that the cats of WindClan "look to" Crowfeather on how Breezepelt should be treated, particularly from Crowfeather's Trial. I feel it misses the point and ends up saying that Breezepelt could NEVER get the social approval he craves unless his abusive dad CHOSE to stop mistreating him.

Like!! FUCK no!!! You do NOT need the approval of a guy who NEVER would have given it without 3 different women and Onestar screaming it into his ear!

Instead, I'd stress how the Clan was beginning to turn on him as soon as his problems escalated into active reckless endangerment. His abuse was causing his social alienation by making his behavior worse and worse.

That seems like a minor change, but it's one of my bigger complaints. ALL of WindClan shouldn't be looking to an abusive parent to model how they'll react to his son. PLEASE let the cats have their own unique social opinions.

One of Breezepelt's adult defenders is Brushblaze. I will be picking more-- but there's always going to be some cats in his corner besides Nightcloud and Heathertail (and Harestar of course who is poly with Heather and Breeze in BB.)

(though Pro-Breeze cats are in the minority unfortunately.)

MOST of the Dark Forest trainees from WindClan were personal friends of Breezepelt. Harespring, Sunstrike, Furzepelt, and Antpelt all came into the training because of him.

All that said, not much else is different about the setup of Breezepelt's childhood abuse! It's a part of canon I think is good and I would like to stay relatively faithful to it.

His arc also continues into BB!AVoS. Continued distrust of him after fighting for the Dark Forest, misplacing his anger onto Harespring when he manages to take deputyship, and Dishonor Titles from Onestar end up causing him and his friends to feel so rejected that they join The Kin.

Its message, that they are "The Kin that the Clans abandoned" appeals to over a dozen cats from other Clans who are shunned for various reasons. HalfClan cats, codebreakers, and Dark Forest trainees alike all come together, because BB!The Kin is mostly comprised of Clan cats, particularly ones from SkyClan, NOT rogues.

There's about 6 or so non-Clanborn cats in The Kin; Rain, Raven, Flame, Dragonfly, Roach, Nettle. If I end up keeping Silt, Thistle, or any of the 7-10 unnamed cats, they'll get shuffled to be Clanborn.

(Max, Loki, and Zelda are cut. Many of Zelda's roles are being absorbed by Dragonfly, who is remaining with Violetshine after The Kin disbands)

[mwolf0epsilon]

Sometimes being in the SW Fandom is about diving into the annals of the internet researching the most obscure tidbit of batshit insane Canon or EU Lore imaginable to man (which is honestly my favorite thing to do because people have done some pretty insanely funny things with this universe and characters). But for the majority of the time, being in the SW Fandom is also watching people repeat a cycle of asinine arguments that make an absolute ass out of them for the worst possible reasons.

So here's a quick reminder of past arguments to be mindful of and always consider, when you see something in the tags that makes you wrinkle your nose at:

Everyone has something they like or dislike about the overall universe and story. Be it the Original Trilogy, the Prequels, the Sequels, the Animated series, the Live-Action series, EU stuff, Novels, etc. No one is above or below anyone else just because they don't love the entirety of the universe and/or the direction the current writers are taking it.

Canon can be a good baseline for your own creative purposes. You don't have to love it (because yes the whole thing can be inconsistent as hell), but don't get to a point in your fanfic/AU world-building where you vehemently deny that canon is an actual thing. This goes hand in hand with your personal depiction of characters vs someone else's depictions. Reading comprehension and the creative process depend on perspective and how you process the information you're given, so it's only normal that no two person's idea of a character is the same. But saying that your headcanons are how the characters should be written by everyone is not gonna do you any favors in the long run, because it's not up to you to decide on that. Don't forget Blorbo's actual roots and what it took to get him where you took him, but don't try to force someone else to accept the journey you orchestrated for them!

No one's OC should be put on a pedestal. It's good that people feel comfortable enough to play Barbies with each other's OCs in roleplay sessions, or even add a cameo in a fic to a character of a friend and/or artist/writer they admire from a distance. Hell, the fact many people are passionate about someone else's little fella/s is great! But the moment someone's OC becomes an object of obsession within a Fandom community, things can go a little wrong... It stops being fun to be in that kind of space that goes from welcoming OC discussions to suddenly shunning new people in favor of someone's Ultimate Blorbo who now has a Cult Following and should be written into every fanfic ever.

No one is evil for lacking knowledge or self-awareness of certain grievances that people rightfully have with the source material. The SW Fandom has always had a long-standing issue with racial stereotyping, whitewashing, cultural appropriation, sexism and many other equally serious topics that have been more eloquently explained in posts made by people much more eloquent and qualified than I am or ever will be. However, one must recognize that not everyone who joins the Fandom is immediately aware of these things. Especially the younger generations that have either not been exposed to these concepts due to one reason or another (upbringing, biased educational curriculum, etc), or because they were simply never in a position where they could delve into these topics with someone knowledgeable on them (some experiences simply aren't universal, especially if you come from a more privileged family). For the most part, SW is just a silly sci-fi universe that is nothing more than a simple means of escapism or dumb fun. Not everyone is going to study it under a microscope or go through it with a fine comb. That said, another important thing to remember is to listen to those who know their stuff and that have had personal grievances with any of the topics above. You can be excused for lack of knowledge, but you cannot be excused for purposefully ignoring the voices of those who provide you said knowledge for free if you go searching.

This is kinda returning to the second and previous topics, but I really need to put emphasis on this: If you're going to cling to certain design choices with an iron first and incorporate them into your personal ideas/headcanons, please always consider how it SOUNDS when you say characters that are written with basis on real POC people/communities are much better/superior if they have phenotypical trait expressions that are not present (or considered rare/atypical) in their real world basis. This is a CONSISTENT problem I have seen crop up specifically within the Clone Wars and Bad Batch sides of the fandom, especially when talking about Rex (who is a blond) and Clone Force 99 (who do not look like standard clones). Always remember: The problem isn't that Rex can't be naturally blond (genetics can be unpredictable and we really don't have an extensive look into the cloning process), the problem is the way some people think he'd be inferior in some way if he were a bottle blond who chose to distinguish himself (almost as if having darker skin, darker hair and darker eyes is somehow worse than having lighter skin, lighter hair or lighter eyes.. How curious isn't it?). Needless to say, I don't think I need to elaborate further on why CF99's "desirable mutations" giving them considerably lighter skin and less ethnic features, while also making their most POC presenting member look and sometimes act like a moronic brute (something which this Fandom pushes further by infantilizing him relentlessly), is a bit of a red flag...

Star Wars has always been political. It is literally in the name and in the meat of the writing. The entire thing is basically a political and social critique presented in a sci-fi/fantasy wrapper, with colorful plasma swords, cool spaceships, and kickass explosion bow on top. You cannot separate the political conversation from the universe's overall lore, and trying to do so makes you look foolish. Disney may have taken creative liberties with some of its shows, but at the end of the day they can't ever eliminate what the Original Trilogies and even the Prequels tried to tell us about. With that said, complaining about how some of the new shows are "too Woke" or PC is the equivalent of saying you read Romeo and Juliet and that the story is relationship goals. You might need to revisit the original material.

For the love of god if you don't like something, don't go after someone who does, it's not worth it. Sometimes the best thing you can do is either filter something you actively dislike/that makes you feel uncomfortable, or simply unfollow/block whoever is repeatedly bringing it onto your doorstep. And you also have no real obligation to explain your decision to block someone, especially if they hound you for questions. Rule of thumb: Don't like something? That's perfectly fine and valid. Take the steps to make yourself comfortable then, but don't go out of your way to be a royal asshole to someone else just because they themselves enjoy it. This encompasses things from anti-jedi demonization, actual ethnic cleansing in canon, siding with personifications of alt-right extremists, proshipping apologism, etc. The block button was added to this hellsite for a reason. Use it.

Sometimes you can't change someone else's opinions on a matter and that is perfectly fine. Just don't start a feud. People come and go, and their opinions vary (we're all individuals with out own perspectives and unique experiences after all), but getting up in arms every time someone either refuses to yield in a long-winded argument, or continuously tries to shove their unsolicited opinions/advice onto you, or even makes incredibly uncomfortable/forward/gross comments that they definitely shouldn't be saying to a complete stranger on the internet, is kind of pointless and will drain you of energy faster than you can say Death Star. You're not the lesser person for walking away from a lost cause. It's ultimately not your job or responsibility to fix/better someone else. Especially if they don't want to change.

[burningvelvet]

Lord Byron responds to a fan letter from a woman named Harriette Wilson who was interested in befriending him, 1814:

“If my silence has hurt ‘your pride or your feelings’, to use your own expressions, I am very sorry for it; be assured that such effect was far from my intention. Business, and some little bustle attendant on changing my residence, prevented me from thanking you for your letter as soon as I ought to have done. If my thanks do not displease you, now, pray accept them. I could not feel otherwise than obliged by the desire of a stranger to make my acquaintance.

I am not unacquainted with your name or your beauty, and I have heard much of your talents; but I am not the person whom you would like, either as a lover or a friend. I did not, and do not 'suspect you,' to use your own words once more, of any design of making love to me. I know myself well enough to acquit anyone who does not know me, and still more those who do, from any such intention. I am not of a nature to be loved, and so far, luckily for myself, I have no wish to be so. In saying this, I do not mean to affect any particular stoicism, and may possibly, at one time or other, have been liable to those follies, for which you sarcastically tell me I have now no time: but these, and everything else, are to me at present objects of indifference; and this is a good deal to say, at six-and-twenty. You tell me that you wished to know me better; because you liked my writing. I think you must be aware that a writer is in general very different from his productions, and always disappoints those who expect to find in him qualities more agreeable than those of others; I shall certainly not be lessened in my vanity, as a scribbler, by the reflection that a work of mine has given you pleasure; and, to preserve the impression in its favour, I will not risk your good opinion by inflicting my acquaintance upon you.

Very truly your obliged servant, B.”

From the Memoirs of Harriette Wilson, discussing the letter:

"I had long been sentimentally in love with Lord Byron, and some years previous to the publication of the last canto of "Childe Harold," I had written to him to solicit the honour of his acquaintance.

"If, my lord," said I, in my letter, "to have been cold and indifferent to every other modern poet, while I have passed whole nights in studying your productions with the eagerness of one who has discovered a new source of enjoyment as surprising as it was delightful, deserves gratitude from the vanity of an author, or the gallantry of a gentleman, you will honour me with a little of your friendship."

Would you believe, reader, this eloquent epistle obtained me no answer during three long days? I was furious, and wrote again to tell him that he was a mere pedant; that my common sense was a match for his fine rhymes; that the best of us poor weak mortals—and I acknowledged him to be at the head of the list—must still be ignorant, subject to sickness, ill-temper, and various errors in judgment, therefore was there little excuse for his impertinence, in presuming to find fault with the whole world, as he had done in his "English Bards and Scotch Reviewers," at an age when his natural judgment could not be matured. It was vulgar, and showed the littleness which some want of philanthropy towards our poor fellow creatures always must evince. Was he really so superior, and would he crush the poor worms which dared not aspire to his perfections? Or was he but a mere upstart man, of extraordinary genius, without strength of mind to know what he would be at? Could he not, at least, have declined the honour I wanted to confer on him, civilly?

This eloquent letter ended simply thus, after assuring him that it was now much too late to make my acquaintance, as I had changed my mind and no longer desired it the least in the world—like the fox and the grapes—

"you be hang'd!

"HARRIETTE WILSON."

This, to a favourite, was tolerably severe; but when I take a liking to a person I must and will be something to them; so if they will not like me I always make it my business and peculiar care that they shall dislike and quarrel with me. Let me once get them into a quarrel and I am sure of them.

The next day I received the following answer from Lord Byron, dated Albany, Piccadilly.

[Letter from Byron inserted above]

This was very dry; but, I had not aspired to Lord Byron's love and I did not despair of making his acquaintance. I am indeed surprised that I never fell in love with his lordship; but, certain it is, that, though I would have given anything to have been his most humble friend and servant, his beauty was of a nature never to inspire me with warmer sentiments.

There was nothing whatever voluptuous in the character of it; it was wholly intellectual: and as such I honoured it; but give me for my lover an indolent being who, while he possesses talents and genius to do anything he pleases, pleases himself most and best in pleasing me! Au reste, I admire and look up to heroes, but indolent men make the best lovers.

I was a long while before I could convince Lord Byron that as a lover he would never have suited me; and really did not excite any passion in my breast; but, from the moment I had succeeded, his lordship threw off all reserve and wrote and spoke to me with the confidence of easy friendship and good-will, as though he had been delighted to find a woman capable of friendship, to whose vanity it was not at all necessary to administer by saying soft things to her."

[valentiinexo]

I feel like Azriels bonus chapter was so misunderstood by most of the fandom. Especially with Az shadows disappearing with Elain but singing with Gwyn and the fact that people say he only lust for her makes me extremely confused because HOW? I dont really vibe with az and gwyn, like they would be cute but itll just be the same as acosf now that I realize it. and I dont really think Elain is boring, we barely know about her yet and I feel like not all girls have to be warriors, we need something different than what we always get.

welcome to the elain lovers safe space 🫶🏼

as someone who has never been able to relate to the feyres and nestas of fantasy, elain is the ultimate comfort character. and i sincerely don’t mean that in a negative way towards either of them! i’ve just always been a passive, appeasing, non confrontational, people pleaser. in a fight or flight situation im literally always going to pick freeze and fawn. my point in all that is, those are characteristics we so rarely see in fantasy fmcs, elains pov is going to be a breath of fresh air. her arc has such incredible potential to really resonate with and empower the softer girls of the world. like sarah has said, her strength is so different from her sisters in that it comes from always choosing to be kind and loving no matter the challenges she’s facing. i can’t wait to see her in full bloom ✨

as for the bonus chapter, it’s incredibly misunderstood. there are so many things i could say about it, but there are elriels out there who have voiced those same thoughts much more eloquently than i ever could. it’s so clear that he has feelings for elain, but isn’t allowing himself to process those feelings becuase of the whole… everything. it’s been said before that he’s got too many issues with self loathing to be with elain, but you don’t need to be perfect to be loved. and i think despite how much everyone insists he’s obsessed with having a bond, there’s nothing he would cherish more than being told fuck the cauldron, fuck fate, i choose you becuase i love you. and that just brings tears to my eyes 🥹

anyway thank you for listening to my very long ramble, there’s nothing i love more than getting to discuss those two!

[thecubspeaks]

[Gale/Shadowheart, because my boss is randomly not in today]

The water laps softly against the dilapidated dock and Shadowheart beckons him over. The others are discussing plans, swapping gear, the air heavy with an inexplicable certainty that this is a point of no return. Gale sends her a silent, questioning look, but approaches, tucking themselves just far enough from the others that they can speak quietly and not be overheard.

Shadowheart just looks at him a moment, green eyes solemn, her pale hair bright even in this dim underground light. She reaches out and lays a hand on his chest, over the orb. Automatically, he lays his hand on top of hers.

“She never took it away.” Her voice is very, very quiet.

“The orb? I’ve explained, she will once I–”

“The spell. The charm Elminster brought you. To detonate it, should you need to. She still wants you to be able to do it.”

Gale can’t speak for a moment. But such moments never last, for him. He forces out a laugh. “I could hardly bring her the crown in that case.”

“Then why didn’t she take back the spell?”

It isn’t like that, he wants to protest. Shadowheart has seen the worst of a goddess’s vindictiveness, and– well, yes, at times Gale has felt that he has, too. But Mystra has forgiven him, or at least begun to. He has promised his way back into her grace, and she will cure him. This is the beginning now.

But none of that actually answers Shadowheart’s question.

Shadowheart clenches her fist in his robes. She, of course, knows all too well what it means in those vanishingly rare moments when even he cannot supply something to say. She is one of the only people– perhaps the only person– with whom he feels he can be silent. But this is not the easy silence that settles on them when they sit together in the early mornings, she in prayer and he in study, or at the end of a long day when they have both tapped the very depth of their magical ability and just sit, slumped together on his bedroll or hers after everyone else has gone to sleep.

When Gale can’t break it, Shadowheart does.

“You can’t. You have to promise.”

He tightens his hand around hers. “I can’t promise that.”

“You have to.” She squeezes her eyes shut. The first time he saw her cry was only a tenday ago, when he held her in front of a crumbling statue of Selune and felt his eloquence fail him once again as he tried to reassure her that she had freed her parents– that she had done the right thing. He can hear the threat of tears now, but they haven’t fallen. “I can’t… I won’t let you.”

“We cannot know what we will find when we reach the brain,” Gale says. It feels like something inside of him is crumbling apart. The newborn confidence, perhaps, that all could go back to the way it had been. That he could be himself, Mystra’s Chosen, once more, and the rest– the orb, the demand she made– could somehow be forgotten. That he could unknow what he has learned about the whims and will of gods. “If it comes to a choice between me or the entire world…”

Her eyes flash open, and she pins him with a look of fierce determination he hasn’t seen in a long time– perhaps even since the Shadowfell, since Shar spat her out a crumpled heap on the ground, looking like something inside of her had broken for good.

“I choose you. I choose to believe in you, in us.” Her gaze softens slightly, but there is still a stubborn set to her jaw. “If this is the end, my love, then it’s the end for both of us. But I have had enough of loss.”

“I don’t want to die,” he whispers, his own voice growing rough. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“Then promise, you idiot,” she says. “Now is not the time to suddenly discover humility. There will be another way, and you will find it. So promise.”

He laughs and bends to kiss her, heedless if the others see– and for once, she seems to be, too. But they’re either too distracted, or uncharacteristically decide not to comment. She holds him tight, too tight, and then lets go. Tears shine in her eyes, but they still don’t fall.

“Let’s go,” she says.

“Let’s go,” he agrees. “To victory, my love.”

[linnetagain]

Hi! I’m not sure if you’re comfortable answering questions about your fics here so please feel free to ignore this if you’re not.

I’m a russian queer who left a comment under chapter 3 of The Season and I’m super qurious why you decided to make Астарион :), Cazador and Halsin russian. In Good Men and Monsters you mention that Astarion has been called upyr, does he have Eastern European background in that universe as well?

I’m completely enamoured with and fascinated by your works and wait for new updates religiously. Thank you so much for sharing them with us, you’re a солнышко! 🖤

Hello friend!! I am slow to answer but happy to! I can't promise I'll be very eloquent or be able to provide a satisfying answer but I'll do my best.

First of all, I haven't specified Astarion's background in Good Men and I likely won't, so if you want to read him as Eastern European please do! I can absolutely see how it fits. In the context of that discussion it's the concept of Vampirism and the folklore surrounding it that is focused on Eastern Europe rather than he himself. I am absolutely not going to touch some of Stoker's vampiric lore because he was a xenophobic Victorian man (the boxes of dirt... goddamn, Stoker, what the fuck - the grave dirt of course is relevant in Good Men but it's 'the soil the vampire was buried in' not 'fifty boxes of soil from his homeland'). I could write a whole essay on the symbolism of the outsider as a threat and the crossover of the ostracized sections of Victorian society in Dracula (non-english, lower class, homosexual, the list goes on and fucking on) but this is already a long reply so I'll spare you and look at Season.

There are a couple of reasons that it fits, for me, and a lot of it is to do with the Russian history of competitive ice skating. Writing a modern AU Astarion who wasn't a vampire meant I knew I needed to find another way to have that aspect of his character where his life hasn't been his own, where it's been shaped by other people for their own purposes, and even as an adult and being 'free' to make his own choices, he's living with the legacy of who they made him, and working to be more than that. Competitive sport definitely has that aspect already, unfortunately, and ice skating even more so.

I also never wanted him to be the only Russian, because then of course you're risking tokenizing him. Cazador made sense for obvious reasons, but Halsin too. I considered him because he's the other high elf companion, but also because in game he's the one with a history of war. Transferring him to a modern day context was harder than a lot of the other characters, but I wanted him to have that similar ground with Astarion that he has in game, even if they never address it. Unintentionally, it means that in Season he and Astarion have very different experiences of their culture and identity, especially in context of the diaspora, which is something I really enjoy exploring.

Of course that then raises the question of the current geopolitical state of Russia and the wider Slavic regions. Having real world issues as a basis for plot is always somewhat fraught, but it's also something very close to my heart and that I want to write about. I also didn't want to make them all British to avoid any of that difficulty, that would be both unrealistic and uninteresting.

I think the ultimate reason is that fiction, even fanfiction, is our way of processing and reflecting on and exploring our world. It's less obvious in fantasy settings, but it's still very much there. The ultimate reason I choose to do anything is because it's interesting - and usually, in a real world context, that means it's fraught and complicated. I want to write about things that matter, to me and to anyone who might read it, and I want to do it in a way that means anyone reading from a different context might feel seen.

The reason I started writing in the first place, however many years ago, is that I didn't see any asexual rep in fiction and I knew that if I needed it, someone else needed it too. I do the same now. I have queer Russian friends who feel like the world has moved on from what's going on in Russia at the moment, or that all Russian people are being treated like they MUST agree with what the Russian government are doing. The nuance of the situation and their identity is erased by oversimplification. I suppose part of writing this is just me wanting to do anything I can to combat that. It's not much, but I hope it's something, to know that you're seen and still being thought about, and people still care.

Writing characters who have dealt with miscarriage, drug abuse, xenophobia, chronic pain, emotional neglect and all those kinds of things is because I have feelings about these subjects, I want to discuss them, I want to explore what it means to live through something like that and how it affects you as a person. Fiction is a space to do that, and to invite people into those conversations that we wouldn't have otherwise. Art has always been a starting point, and it's always been at the forefront of social and political change. I don't write fanfic thinking it's going to change the world, obviously, but I do write it with the intention of treating real life situations with the respect and consideration they deserve, rather than just using them for drama or brushing over them because it's a difficult thing to talk about.

I know that Season is a love story. That's the ultimate goal, and I presume that's why people are still reading. But it's also, to me, a story about what it means to be queer in our world today. What that looks like, how far we've come and how far we still have left to go. I want to give people a story that is real, in that sense. That takes in all the fucking awful shit that can come with being queer and out and open, and still have hope and a happy ending. It's not easy, and I don't ever want to pretend that it is. But fiction also gives us a place where we can imagine what a happy ending might look like, in a world that doesn't provide them as often as we'd like.

So. Sorry for the essay as a response, but. I suppose I made Astarion Russian because it made sense for his character, but also because I want to write with hope, and not manufacturing false hope by turning away from the world as it is. I want to write all the awful, difficult, horrible things, and believe that happiness and hope are possible anyway, despite, and including them. We don't live in an ideal world. Sometimes I want to cave to despair and think that things will never be better. I write because I don't want to believe that's true.

[daddymilker691]

Well my revered readers of Londons most bohemian and relentlessly sought after newspaper The Daily Milker we are back of course a recent bout of Covid has I’m afraid put rather a damper on things and not wanting to pass it on to my wonderful Co Editor Dawn Green we closed our Holborn studios for the week still feeling the after effects somewhat it really has a way of kicking the old proverbial bottom as our American so eloquently put it anyway so we opened up our studios yesterday darlings to our wonderful page five stars there are now so many it’s almost impossible to put them all in one edition but I shall strive to appease both our hungry readers appetites for these wonderful stars⭐️ and their own desires to be a page five ⭐️ , it’s been a dim and rainy day here in Holborn and actually in London as a whole indeed Dawns had to put the heating on I did suggest Dawn put on a fur coat but from the back room came the reply I don’t get paid enough well enough of the sauntering monologue I hear you say get on with it ok so here goes first off as always the wonderful Dawn Green our Co Editor wearing that in winter it’s no wonder you get cold Dawn next we were visited by the very lovely Petra no stranger to the Daily Milker but it’s been a while and as always in fine form and looking fabulous after the delightful photo shoot Petra caught the bus back to Wandsworth with a big smile and a page five ⭐️ badge , next was the one and only Jodie Hot Sauce who has sent me many get well soon messages what a lovely thing to do thanks Jodie your a staple star ⭐️ of the Daily Milker and we here all love you next after I’d had a coffee and a bit of a rest Dawn sipped on a cocktail only to inform me that Happy Little Lucy had just arrived at Heathrow and was in a Taxi on way to our studio all the way from Canada probably one of the only places colder than London what a Canadiandoll a vision in Polka Dots we made Lucy feel very welcome and took great delight in warming her up , we are hoping Lucy becomes a regular here , next the lovely leggy and fun Cindy Lace arrived you could have knocked me down with a feather when I heard Cindy say trick or treat I said get in for heavens sake before you catch a cold Dawn set up a Haloween themed background and Cindy showed me a trick and I got quite a treat ( ouch Dawn ) , next was the lovely Sandra Clapham who was somewhat late and then I noticed Dawn wasn’t about I thought to myself I know what’s happened and sure enough found them in the Queens legs discussing the different deniers of stockings Sandra showing Dawn a new suspenders belt I joined them both for a quick pint before we departed back to the studio as a brand new page five star only Monica , only I thought under my breath I congratulated Monica on the forethought of bringing an umbrella as it was pouring but did somewhat doubt of how much rain it would keep off, next was the lovely sweet Sue all the way from Manchester rather tired but given time to relax of course in our very special green room looking amazing and left with a smile lastly it was lovely to have Madison back . Before I finish the post I’d like to thank all you page five stars and the wonderful Dawn Green and if you haven’t made it on this issue please don’t think you won’t on the next we would have done a double if was feeling more up to it love and peace and thanks to all who follow the Milker ( never be nasty when you can be nice ) xxx

[worth-this-and-more]

Sarah Griffiths: a character study because people aren't talking about her enough and im so disappointed yall pt.1

[spoilers for legendborn and bloodmarked, read at your own caution ;)]

first and foremost, Sarah Griffiths has been my fav character since like forever and I haven't been able to talk about her very much, sincerely sorry, but nvm this post is for her anyway

she is the third person from legendborn that bree met after nick and sel I hope this is some kind of foreshadowing because I want more sar content but okay I'm just grasping fallen marbles atp lool and I feel like a lot of people overlook her. which is understandable because she didn't have a lot of screentime but her time was really important too, so here's my rant about my fav sar moments + character study + fangirling

her introduction was quite normal and formal, and even i could not imagine her fighting the shadowborns, understandably so because this "pixie-like girl in a flowy dress" doesn't really seem fierce enough, or does she??

sar definitely surprised me specifically in this scene:

while everyone is heavily confused but still alert on their jobs, sar made sure to place bree to safety, without giving any unnecessary lecture about "oh page matthews tf were you thinking why arent you back to the lodge??" she really knows how to keep her cool, and her action and reaction are almost similar to what I expect wlliam or greer would do

next fav sar moment was when she defended bree from sel at the infirmary:

sel is right in his place to suspect bree, it's his job to see the safety of the order, and he is angry af. we all know our merlin boy is scary af when angry because as russ so eloquently stated "you're never sure if it's safe to talk shit about him behind his back" and that's true anyway, but like sar really defended bree even when she did not know her, because she trusted nick's judgment and has already accepted bree as their own.

i feel like this is a very important factor in all the characters, especially sar, as I'll discuss further

next, this one:

she noticed bree was shaken from this encounter, because for her bree is a onceborn who had the unfortunate luck of experiencing a shadowborn attack and see so many injuries real time, while being attacked by an uchel as well. she offered to drive her home and walked her to her dorm, a girl's girl through and through. ik it seems like the barest minimum but I will still appreciate it because let's be real, everybody was stressed, who else would've offered to take bree back to her dorm safely?? nick is injured, william is busy, sel is busy trynna kill her, evan is injured, and the others are still processing the day. this small gesture seems insignificant but really shows sar's mindfulness and makes me fall for her harder and harder each time

this car ride is where we find out that she is a victim of racism as well:

which creates multiple questions. she definitely knows tor is racist, and I wont be surprised if tor has herself made racist remarks on sar as well but just keeps it quiet in front of her?? sar must definitely hear tor's remarks about others, especially bree. she stays because she loves tor, as we've seen here:

but there's definitely some kind of resentment towards tor that develops further in the story. how did she end up with tor anyway?? like after tor's "rebellious phase", is she really just in love and trying desperately to ignore all the red flags or is there some other story??

also her devotion to the order?? i love it. the order ain't shit, we know that, but the definite loyalty that sar has towards the order, it doesn't seem like much but I admire that grit so much. she was raised for service, but she chose to stay and serve even knowing all the risks. bree is the first of her family, but sar definitely has her own stories to be known.

again, my fav sar moment:

no explanation needed lmaoo sel doubted his own demon side for a sec haha

sar keeps tor in check around bree, because she knows tor hates bree's guts, and as we see here:

sar definitely calls the shots. im pretty sure that everytime tor finds something to bitch about, sar gives her the deadliest side eye ever because the kindest ones are the deadliest ones always. and whenever bree calls tor out for her behavior tor goes crying to her gf because sar is the only one who tolerates her lool

and finally, the most precious sar moment in legendborn:

everyone is in love with sel because he was the first one to kneel for bree, but we are kinda forgetting that sar was the second one to kneel. she has already accepted bree as a part of legendborn, and did not hesitate to pledge her loyalty to bree. this is the most iconic sar moment I love because she is loyal to the order, to bree, and to her service.

this is what i mean when i say I love sar, there is so much story behind this one girl and I really really wanna know her. i hope she has more moments in oathbound because her loyalty is fierce and I'm pretty sure she will join alice and william too if this gang forms

bloodmarked will be discussed in pt.2 hehe I think this much is enough for today lool