#i feel like his resentment would come from her suggesting they.... do a form of IVF

[princescar]

Ultimate Fashionista... Mikan Tsumiki??

she doesn’t like this one very much

[danikamariewrites]

hii!! I was wondering if u could write a fic with azriel and one of the spies he trains, kind of like arobynn and aelin but not creepy lol. azriel always protects reader yet when rhys notices the special treatment in his court, he grows distant. angst ensues!! possibly smut whatever youre feeling!

My Sweet Spy

Azriel x reader

Notes: I hope you don’t mind that it’s in bullet form anon! I can’t believe I haven’t thought of something like this before, I did change it a little and made them fall in love (so not rlly a master and apprentice thing) I also don’t know the word count for this but know it’s a lot.

Warnings: angst, enemies to friends to lovers, fighting and violence, blood (apologies for any typos I sped through editing this)

Your father was one of Azriel’s senior spies. At 100 years old you were still acting like a petulant child, driving your father mad. Being at his wits end he dropped you off in Velaris for training with Azriel. It was more of a punishment than anything

He wanted the high lord and spymaster to set you straight

During one of your father’s more high profile missions he was attacked and didn’t survive

His death made you resent Azriel for a long time

You didn’t come to training on time or at all some days, you wouldn’t speak for almost a year, and you acted out so bad (during Nesta’s stint at the bars as well) you and Nesta were separated and it was time for an intervention

While Nesta stayed at the House of Wind you stayed in the Town House

You still refused to speak with anyone, especially Azriel, but you pulled yourself together

Though your father was a hard-ass you loved him dearly. He was the only person you had left in the world

Realizing you couldn’t blame Azriel or Rhysand for his death you started putting in the effort of training and being a better person. If anything you were really at training for Nesta. You missed your friend and she was the only person you would talk to. Meeting Gwyn and Emerie at training made you light up. You hadn’t had many friends as an adult so this group of girls excited you.

You still wouldn’t speak to Azriel. At least not in depth. You would acknowledge him, giving him nods and the occasional yes and no. Azriel tried so hard to get you to open up. He apologized about your father’s death and even went as far as buying you a box of your favorite pastries, but nothing.

Months after Nyx was born and Nesta, Gwyn, & Emerie won the Blood Rite you were starting to warm up to everyone. You even spoke to Azriel, “Thank you.” Azriel was taken aback by how quietly you approached him, even his shadows were unaware of you. “You’re welcome.” He didn’t ask for what. Azriel had a feeling that those two words encompassed everything from putting up with you to housing and training you.

You started going to family dinners and get togethers more. While you still didn’t talk much you were showing more emotion.

You were on time for training and showed improvement. To Azriel’s surprise you were more skilled than he thought. When he reported your progress to Rhys he seemed to take interest in your skills. “Maybe her father taught her more tricks of the trade than we thought.” Azriel didn’t like what Rhys’s tone was suggesting.

Azriel tensed, waiting for the order he knew was coming. Rhys gave his brother a look he knew all too well. Then the dreaded words left his mouth, “I want you to build her up. Y/n’s father was a valuable asset, we need that again.” Azriel clenched his jaw. Doing his best to bite his tongue to think about his words.

The Spymaster knew this was an order from his High Lord, not a suggestion from his brother.

So Azriel began your training. You became more observant, an extension of Azriel’s shadows. His own shadows took a liking to you. Becoming their second master on missions, they protected you.

The only missions Azriel would take you on would be a year after your training started. And they would never be solo trips. You would go with him or another partner on short missions. You were never far from Velaris and if need be Azriel could come get you if you were in danger.

There was definitely a few tense nights where you two spent the night at an inn. You two never knew how to approach each other, never wanting to say the wrong thing to one another.

Your first solo mission was given to you by Rhys. The High Lord went over his brother’s head assigning you this. “I believe you are ready to do this y/n. You have shown change and a tenacity I haven’t seen since Feyre under the mountain.”

The high praise from Rhys made your heart soar. The fact that your change was noticed made you feel like life was going well. That there was a place for you.

“Thank you, Rhysand.” You bow your head slightly. “Azriel has trained you well, and you’ve done excellent work over the last few months.” Rhys slides a file across his desk to you. Opening it he informs you that you’ll be traveling to just outside Vallahan. A male who was once on Kier’s council defected and has been on the run for years. He has crimes to answer for and you will be delivering the High Lord’s justice.

When you didn’t show up to training Azriel went looking for you. Not being able to find you in the House he went to Rhys. “I sent her on a mission to the continent. Caliban was sighted and I thought she was the perfect person to handle it.”

Steam was coming out of Azriel’s ears. “How. Dare. You,” he gritted out. Rhys’s eyes widen at the change in his brother’s mood. Azriel was borderline erratic. “How dare you make that call!” Rhys held up a hand. “Brother, please. Calm down and think—” “Don’t tell me to cam down! Y/n has never been to the Continent! And she is far from ready to do something like this on her own!”

“Az just listen—” Azriel closed his eyes, taking deep breathes. “Where?” Rhys gave him a questioning look. “Where on the Continent id you fucking send her?” His voice was growing angrier with each word. Once Rhys told him he punched his brother square in the face and stormed out of the house.

Your father didn’t make many enemies but he had one that eluded him for years, Caliban. Once considered royalty in the Hewn City he became a fugitive of the Night Court. Now you were his target. Somehow he found out that he is your mission in Vallahan. Instead of running again he decided to face you.

Caliban made it easy for you to track him. To the point where you knew it was a trap

“You look just like your father,” was the first thing he said to you. “I suppose you’ll be just as easy to kill.” All rational thoughts left your head. You saw red as you charged at him. Azriel had taught you to used controlled emotion through your fighting technique, helping you unlearn your irrational behavior.

Diving at Caliban he swiftly side stepped you, a smirk dancing on his lips. “Still a petulant child I see.” You let out growl from deep in your throat. Jumping to your feet you unsheathed the dagger from your thigh. Caliban drew his own from thin air, ready to fight.

You slashed hard, chasing every step he took with a more aggressive one of your own. If Caliban was going to kill you, you were going to make it hard for him.

If you were going to die tonight you were taking this vile murderer with you.

Letting your rage take hold your moves become erratic. Distracted. Caliban lands a blow to your gut forcing you to double over. He grabs a fist full of your hair, clutching it as tight as possible he punched your face over and over again. Once your face was drenched in blood Caliban dropped you to the ground.

You were breathing heavily through your mouth trying to regain your strength. To get back up and fight again.

Caliban circles you, sneering down at you. “Poor little spy. Going to die all alone just like her father.” He lets out a deep laugh. A burst of anger rushed through you. Holding on tight to your dagger you quickly sit up and slash at Caliban’s inner thigh.

He howls in pain and drops to the ground next to you. “You bitch!” He spits at you. You laugh, collapsing on your back.

As the edges of your vision blur all you can think about is your friends. Specifically Azriel. He has been a constant, steady presence over the last few years.

All you could think about was how ungrateful you’d been to him. All the attitude you gave him that you never apologized for. All the things you didn’t let go of and had blamed him for, like your new shitty life and your father’s death.

But your life wasn’t shitty. It was good and you had a purpose.

Your father’s murderer was going to get up and you weren’t going to fight back because you were just so, so tired. And maybe you deserved to die. But you didn’t want to die without telling Azriel everything you were thinking.

Caliban screamed in pain. Turning to face him you see your guardian angel kneeling over him. Truthteller dripping with Caliban’s blood.

Azriel was fuming. His chest moving up and down with his rapid breaths. “Azriel,” you croak out. He snaps out of his trance. “Y/n,” he slide over to you on his knees, cradling your head in his hands. “It’s ok. We’re going to take you home.”

Mor appeared over his shoulder. A relieved smile gracing her full lips. Azriel stands with you in his arms. Mor holds onto his arm winnowing you both back to the Town House. Azriel brings you right up to his old room, setting you down gently on the bed.

Mor comes back with Madja in tow. The old healer giving Azriel a look that said “I know this is your brother’s fault” as she mended your broken nose.

Azriel holds your hand the whole time, being that silent calming presence for you until Madja left

“Why didn’t you fight harder? I know you could’ve gotten up.” There was pain in his voice. A long painful silence fell between you two before you answered. “I thought maybe I deserved it.” Tears silently fall down your cheeks as Azriel lightly squeezes your hand. He felt his heart crack a little. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. “For everything.”

Azriel shakes his head, his heart fully cleaving in two. “There is nothing to be sorry for y/n. Things haven’t been easy for you and I’ve seen that.” Azriel pulls you onto his lap hugging you to his chest as you sob.

Weeks later Azriel hasn’t left your side. Your words troubled him and he wants to show you that you deserve everything good in life. It was his mission to make sure you stopped punishing yourself for his past.

While Cassian gave him suggestions Azriel ignored his brother. His and Nesta’s relationship got off to a rocky start and the couple are still working their issues out.

Az decided to take a different approach with you. Some days you would take breaks from training. He would take you out to eat in the city or for a bonding activity, as Az liked to call it.

You gave him a questioning look the first time he suggested it. Then followed up with, “We do what I want everyday. Let’s do something you want to do.” You raised a brow at him. Feeling like this was a trap. But you’d take it. “Ok,” you shrugged and headed out the door.

You dragged Azriel from shop to shop to see where his limit would be for you buying extravagant items. He didn’t complain once though. Az just smiled and held a majority of the bags for you

Over the next few months you became closer with Azriel. The two of you have gotten so close you consider him one of your best friends. The spymaster quickly became your confidant. You opened up to him about things you haven’t even told Nesta.

It was your scheduled fudge night, where you each bring a different kind of fudge home, eat and gossip. Along with the occasional glass of wine. You were laughing about a story Az was telling you about Cassian in their 30’s. Rhys away with his father and the pair decided to party it up in the city without their brother. Azriel isn’t sure how he lost Cassian but when he finally found the General he was floating on his back in the Sidra.

“Just floating,” you snorted out covering your mouth. “Yes! He told me he saw a mermaid and just had to woo her.” That made you laugh even harder, leaning on his shoulder as you regained your composure. Azriel’s heart stutters at your palm lying flat against his chest. Your touch is soft and welcomed.

Az smiles down at you, watching the color of your cheeks go from that cherry red to their normal color. Your lips still pulled into a smile as you wipe the tears from your eyes. Azriel didn’t realize that he was softly smiling at you until you looked at him asking, “What?” He shook his head, “Nothing.” His voice gentle.

You brush it off going back to the chocolate peanut butter fudge Azriel brought. Taking a bite and sinking back into the cushions you ask for another embarrassing story. Azriel obliges because he could never deny you.

Another bonding activity you two cherish is painting. Like for the kids Feyre runs classes for you and Az find it therapeutic

Once a month, when there’s a free afternoon in the studio’s schedule, Feyre lets you two have a free paint session. You and Az set up easels to face each other and chat while you paint.

Your first painting session was silent except for the sound of the brushes and occasional question azriel would ask you. You only gave him one word answers of course. And the painting you made was a mess of colors. You just had to get your anger put and didn’t feel like trying. At the end of the hour you shoved it in the trash can and left without Azriel.

Today that first session felt like a lifetime ago. You were chatting with Azriel, gossiping and laughing like you’ve been friends for centuries

This time you were adding to a painting you started two months ago. You really wanted to get better at drawing and even asked Feyre to teach you the basics in your free time. Hands are a hard thing to draw but the skill came quite easy to you.

Putting the finishing touches on the shading of the sword you stand back and admire your hard work. It’s of one of the most important moments in your life, when Azriel taught you how to hold a sword. On that day you knew everything would change. There was a new trust between you and Azriel, he trusted you and believed in your abilities. It felt like the first time someone really believed in you, like your potential was truly seen.

In the painting Azriel was guiding your hand to grip the hilt correctly. The sapphire siphons looked like they were glowing and the white ribbon you cut on your fourth try was wrapped around your wrist.

“Are you finally going to let me see it?” Az asked, dragging his own brush in long strokes across the canvas. You squinted your eyes in thought, debating if you truly wanted to show him or wait for Feyre’s critique. “I guess,” you sigh.

Azriel laid down his brush and pallet, wiping his hands off with a paint cover cloth. Coming to face your painting his jaw dropped and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Azriel was rendered speechless by your skills. “Wow,” he breathed out. “Y/n…this is incredible. The detail. My scars even,” his scared hand reached out to touch the painting before he realized he shouldn’t. Instead he mindlessly moved to gently hold your hand.

The two of you stood there staring at your art for a while. You finally noticed Azriel had laced his fingers with yours. You smile at your joined hands, squeezing his before staring back at the painting.

Azriel looks down at you, that love sick smile you always seem to miss was on his face again. Just as he’s about to say something (he hoped would be romantic) Feyre came back from lunch. The bell above the door chimed causing you to jump apart.

“Wow!” She quickly made her way over to you to get a better look at your painting. “Y/n! This is fantastic! We must get it framed and hang it in the house.” The High Lady rambled on, praising your skills.

Azriel crept out as you and Feyre talked. He would talk to you again and there would be another time to tell you what was on his mind.

Missions these days were always vetted by Azriel before Rhys asked you to do anything. You haven’t been doing many lately anyway. Helping Azriel delegate, strategizing, and desk work has been your strong suit.

When Rhys noticed he called you both to his office. Azriel could tell Rhys was angry with him. He knew his brother’s tells well enough. You on the other hand just thought Rhys wanted a progress report on your skills again.

“Sit,” the High Lord said through gritted teeth. You tried to avert Rhy’s gaze while Azriel held strong, staring his brother down. Azriel would stand by his decision to keep you safe. That day he found you with Caliban scared the shit out of him. He never wanted you out there alone or without him again.

Rhys looked at you first. “I’ve noticed you haven’t been going into the field lately.” You shook your head, finally looking at your High Lord. “Care to explain.” You didn’t know what to say. Wouldn’t this be a problem between him and Az. “I—Az has been pairing me up less. I’ve been training more with the Valkyries and field work has been pushed back.”

Rhys let out a hum, his lips pulled into a thin line. “Azriel,” he directed his attention to his brother whose eyes haven’t left him once. “Why isn’t she out there? Is she not one of your spies? Is there not work to be done?” Azriel clenched his jaw. Once again biting his tongue.

“I have had y/n doing other tasks she is comfortable with.” Azriel’s voice was restrained. He saw right through Rhys’s questions and damn him. Azriel saw you were reluctant to go out after Caliban so he made a choice that would keep you safe. “Was it y/n’s choice or yours?” Before Azriel could explode on Rhys you rest a hand on his thigh for comfort. “It was my decision, Rhys. I haven’t been the best out in the field and Azriel found what I’m good at.” You look between the two of them with a small smile to diffuse the tension.

Rhys returned your smile giving you a nod. “I’m glad that you found something you like. Could you give Azriel and I a moment please.” You wordlessly get up and give Azriel’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

Once they were sure you were down the hall Rhys began his tirade. “You do not get to decide what her limits are. I know what she said just now, that was clearly to cover for you. But you cannot keep treating y/n like this.” “Like what,” Azriel spat back.

“Like she is a child! Y/n has come very far in her career, something her father would be proud of. By resigning her to desk work you tear down all the confidence she has built. You’ve kept her away from everything since Caliban. I needed her in the Hewn City and you told me no. I needed her in Autumn and Day and you shot those down too. Why?” Rhys was trying to keep his cool but there was a desperation to his questions.

Azriel stood from his chair. “She doesn’t want to be her father. Y/n is more than this.” Realization flashed in Rhys’s eyes. “Y/n has truly found something she is good at. She’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met and one of your best strategists.” Without another word Azriel turned on his heel and left.

After that conversation Rhys laid off you more. He quickly realized things were more organized since you had left spying

You kept your distance from Azriel for a few days, unsure if you got him in trouble by lying to the High Lord. Well, it wasn’t a complete lie. Az just suggested a new position and you took it.

Did you work for those few days? No. You took them to rest. You haven’t taken a day off in over a year so, why not relax.

You baked cookies, something you used to do with your grandmother every week. You decided on snicker-doodles to enjoy while starting the stack of books Nesta and Emerie suggested you read.

Azriel also gave you your space. He’s been by your side for months at this point. You could use a few days without him, even though it pained him. Azriel loved spending time with you. Sure you brought chaos into his life, but it was the good kind.

On day four of being apart Azriel couldn’t take it anymore. He found you wrapped in your favorite blanket in one of the least used siting rooms in the House of Wind. A fire roaring in the hearth to keep you warm, a mug of tea next to a plate of cookies ready for you when you take a break.

Putting your book down you finally notice Az staring at you in the doorway. That love sick smile he thinks you don’t notice plastered on his face. “Hey,” you say excitedly. “Come, sit with me.” You pat the spot on the couch next to you.

He plops down next to you, curling a wing around you for extra warmth. Without a second thought you snuggle into his side. A blush dusts Azriel’s tan cheeks as he looks away from you. You giggle at the sight of the feared spymaster blushing.

You gently trace his cheek down to his jaw, taking in his beauty. Over the last year you had become very taken with Azriel. He had been there for you no matter what you threw at him. You pull Azriel’s face to look at you. You met his hazel eyes that held so much love and adoration for you, you just didn’t see it.

“Y/n I, there’s something I’ve wanted to say and I just—” Azriel cut himself off with a shake of his head, leaning in so his lips meet yours in a soft kiss you’ve been waiting months for. You kissed him back, running your fingers through his hair.

Breaking apart you give him a giddy smile. It was the most genuine look he’s seen on you since you came to them. “That was better than anything you could’ve said.” You whisper, leaning your forehead against his. Az smiled back, “I still have so much I want to say. Have to say.” “I have all the time to listen.”

[umalvie]

it would be really easy to claim that azula's fatal flaw is her inability to understand love, and the show definitely wants us to believe that given her breakdown, but i think it's a serious oversimplification of her relationship with love.

azula was not shown real, meaningful love as a child. i'm not saying no one loved her period; i very much believe ursa did love her, but she failed to make azula feel loved. my exact opinion on that is frankly quite complicated, but that failure means that azula has grown up not really knowing what it feels like to be loved. however, to say azula doesn't know what love looks like at all is a lie.

ursa was actually the one to show azula what love looked like through her love for zuko. this isn't something azula particularly understands since the only form of anything resembling love (conditional and twisted as it is) that she's ever experienced was from her father in exchange for her excellence, so zuko experiencing a much kinder love from their mother despite his failures is confusing to her. but despite the love conflicting with what azula has been taught in her personal experiences, she still knew that it was love. so to azula, love is not just what ursa felt for zuko, but what she did for him. that is to say, love is sacrifice.

ursa sacrificed herself for zuko. she saved his life at the cost of her own (even if we acknowledge the comics, ursa still gave up her life and memories as she knew them to save zuko). this is the ultimate act of love, and azula knows that. she resents it. mother liked zuko better. mother loved zuko and not her. that's how she sees it because that's how it looked.

but how does that prove that azula understands love? well, it doesn't!

still, azula does something similar to their mother in bringing zuko home with his honor restored. quickly, re the idea of her doing this with ulterior motives: not only is it insane and stupid to suggest that she somehow knew the avatar wasn't actually dead and zuko was aware of this; it also doesn't make sense for her to risk both her reputation/honor in the fire nation and her safety with her father (the man who taught her that fear was the only reliable way) by lying about something so serious when she could just take zuko home as a prisoner if she doesn't love her brother.

but what is azula sacrificing for zuko by bringing him home if it doesn't kill her? aside from the obvious thing she gives up to do this (her status as the heir apparent), azula is also sacrificing her status as their father's preferred child. this might not sound that huge a deal, but this is something zuko has spent his entire life chasing after and envying azula over, and given that their father is the only person who has ever shown azula anything resembling love and the person whose approval is the most important to her, this is massive. their father's approval is the thing azula has based her self-worth on. so much of her identity comes from her pursuit of it, and just like that, azula decides to not just share it with zuko but jeopardize his "love" for her entirely. even if ozai never finds out that zuko wasn't the one who killed the avatar, even if the avatar doesn't somehow come back, azula is directly disobeying his orders by bringing zuko home. he didn't want zuko home as his heir. he wanted zuko home in a prison cell. but azula loves her brother, so she did it anyway, and she goes out of her way to keep him there.

i don't think that azula misunderstands her own motivations in bringing zuko home. she includes him in her activities with her friends, she finds him to console him (to the best of her ability), she's worried that he's angry with her, she asks him to open up to her, she advises him not to do reckless things that could get him branded a traitor, she tries to get him to tell her if they need to be worried about the avatar, and she covers up his mistakes in front of their father. she's extremely rough around the edges, but she's trying. she wants him to keep being the crown prince. she wants him to become the fire lord when their father abdicates or dies. she wants him to be home. she knows that. she acts with that in mind.

so azula knows that even fear can fail. she knows that she herself is an example of someone who does something dangerous and irrational for the sake of someone she loves. she understands what it means to love someone.

here's the catch, though: azula understands love in the context of filial piety. she's rationalized her love for her brother making her behave irrationally because he is her older brother. she's supposed to love him. if you want to see my thoughts about this see this post, but azula expects people to act within the confines of the roles they are defined by within society. in her mind, these roles are those that compose the five cardinal relationships: ruler-subject, father-son, elder brother-younger brother, husband-wife, and friend-friend. while her love for her older brother makes her act in a way that directly conflicts with the first two roles expected of her (ruler and daughter), she justifies it to herself with the piety she owes her brother. she likely refuses to examine it any further than that because to admit that she's acted against filial piety would seriously conflict with everything she's been raised up to be.

so why does she overlook the friend-friend role with others? with mai and ty lee, specifically? it's not because she doesn't understand love at all; it's because she thinks that because zuko so brazenly opposed his role as subject, son, and elder brother that he has forfeited his right to any love or loyalty from any of them (though i highly doubt that she doesn't love him anymore at this point; love is not a switch to be flipped on or off after all), so for mai to betray azula, her friend and the crown princess, as well as their country is unfathomable to azula. and for ty lee to betray her for mai, who has just opposed filial piety the same way zuko did? it just doesn't make sense.

azula understands love, but she will only allow herself to understand it through the lens of duty.

[neteyamyawne]

🫀— Another Love

༄ Pairing : Lo'ak x Fem!Na'vi!Reader

༄ Summary : He slowly falls for another and all you can do is see him be happy with her like he was once with you.

༄ Warning : Jealousy, slight one-sided love, falling out of love, emptiness (emotional), sadness, confrontation.

༄ Prompts : Falling out of love.

༄ Word count : 1.2k, proof read.

༄ Note : This is me first time writing for lo'ak so idk much 🥹 I'm improving for him!

༄ Glossary : [Tiyawn] - Love, [Yawne] - beloved.

◦ Angstmas || Masterlist

You saw it, of course you did, anyone who wasn't lo'ak saw it loud and clear…

Your favorite leather armband? Gone, the river stone choker? Gone and nowhere to be found until you saw Tsireya wearing it. The inkling of downfall starting from the smallest of things.

The swimming lessons were always him and her paired up, at first it was you, the one who left her forever home for him to come here, to an unknown clan and living in between unknown people, just for his love… your love..

His eyes were unfocused as you say near the coast with him, though his hand rested on your thigh, his mind was elsewhere, lost in thought, it was like, he was your lo'ak anymore.

“Ma lo'ak… are you okay? You seem distracted” his eyes snapped back at your face, a sheepish smile forming in his face as he squeezed your thigh softly.

“Yeah, yeah I'm good, Tiyawn” he whispered before his eyes trailed back to the shallow waters, where Tsireya taught the metkayina children how to ride the ilus and for a moment you thought if he suggested to go for a walk on the beach for a certain reason.

She looked splendid, everything a female should look like, the small shell at the crown of her head, the neat braids that cascaded down her back in tight curls would easily make anyone fall in love with her and from the way she sat close to him, her hand on his chest during breathing practice and his breath would stutter at her touch Every. Single. Time.

The dots were connecting but you weren't ready to admit it, it was hard to accept the fact that the one you love the most was falling out of love with you “Lo'ak, what's going on?? I know you're hiding something… I know”

He was startled by your confrontation, a look of guilt spreading over his features, though he looked unsurprised by your question, which only meant one thing, he anticipated it.

“I- I… it's nothing, y/n forget about it, it's stupid” he looked away embarrassed, he didn't want to say it, who would when they knew it would break the heart of the person who left everything behind for them.

“It's Tsireya… isn't it?” Your words grabbed his attention so fast it almost snapped his neck, eyes wide in surprise and resentment… not for you though, for himself.

He shakes his head worried about how he would be able to explain about this complicated feeling but if he saw deep enough, the answer was right there… the ocean eyed, metkayina princess.

“Y/n, No, it's- it's not… i mean yeah but-” he was struggling to form words as his eyes darted between you and her as if he was watching a ping-pong match.

But your heart sank deeper with every second of his hesitation, a void yawning open in the middle of your chest as you clearly saw the love on his face but it wasn't for you, as much as it broke your heart, it wasn't for you.

He was miserably failing to explain his side but you saw the yearning in his eyes for her, a bittersweet smile graced your lips and your hands trembled, so you fisted them as you spoke the next words “Go to her, It's okay… Go to her”

The stunned silence on his face was enough for you to break down right then and there, you loved this man with your entire life and this is how it ends? You let go? But it'll only hurt more if you hold on, though…

“Sweetheart- what are you saying…? Go to her? Are you sure?” That's when the tear slid down your cheek and his frown covered his features, knowing that his truth was your end, but what hurt the most is that he asked ‘are you sure?’ he was ready to go, there was no point in holding back.

It felt like you were ripping your heart out of your chest and shredding it into ribbons with your own two hands as you simply hid your pain behind a smile and teary eyes and nodded “yes, Lo'ak, go to her… as you want, you can go to her… i guess your love wasn't as strong as you said it was”

The hesitation and guilt was written all over his face as he saw the tears in your eyes, the hurt in your voice, nothing but regret filled him as he never thought this day would come “I'm so sorry… So damn sorry” he held your hand tightly but there was no warmth in it, his words were like Ash in your mouth, they meant nothing to you now.

“Just go… leave, go away” your eyes averted back to Tsireya who was unaware of the conversation, anger simmered in your chest but it didn’t cover the hurt that caved your chest, the jealousy that raged in your mind but you hid it well.

Lo'ak frowned, the little braids that framed his face falling away from his eyes, getting up from his spot beside you… biting his lip nervously as he knew he fucked up big times “Yawne, I'm really sorry… I hope you understand… I'm-”

But you got up "stop it please! Just go away! I- I don't want to talk, please!" and left, not wanting to hear the reason why you failed to be the one for him, it was all a mistake, a mistake to leave your home for the person who you thought was your everything, a mistake that he would be your love forever, a mistake to ever think he'd never leave you for someone else.

His heart sank as she watched you walk away after the truth was out, he felt terrible, HORRIBLE, for breaking your heart after everything you did for him but he couldn't keep you leading into a ditch after he knew his feelings were lost for you and held onto another and with a defeated sigh he walked towards Tsireya, with a smile, as if nothing happened and he didn't just leave you, the person who left her whole life behind for him, for the girl he met a few months ago.

Even when you walked away from him, sobs leaving your lips silently, you couldn't help but stop and watch from behind a boulder with tears glistening your cheeks as the smile he once gave you shone brighter when he looked at her instead, the look he gave you once now almost glowed with love for her.

Were you not worth it? Did your sacrifice mean nothing to him? Was it that easy for him to forget you and move on? After you spent years loving him? The questions swirled in your mind but there were no answers to justify them as the person you saw your future with left you with just your thoughts in a clan where you don't know anyone and had to live with his family to top it off.

You were foolish to think that he would keep loving you… but were you? Is this what you deserved? To be left alone and broken in a place you don't know anyone, away from your home and family and betrayed by the person you trusted the most? No, but your heart still broke as you say the on golden shores of metkayina but nothing seemed so colorful as it was to you before this happened…

Ho Ho Ho : @cryinginthemoonpool, @luvv4j4ybe11, @xylianasblog, @plooto, @itchaboi-itchyboy, @pandoraslxna, @taylormarieee, @thewiltedpeony, @neteyamswillow, @danniackerman, @hotdsworld, @zafrinaxyz, @xstarsdiary, @moondaisye, @puddle-nerd, @eywxveng, @minnory, @neteyamssyulang, @tavsianus, @ele-sme.

• Let me know if you want to be tagged in the next two angstmas fics!

©Neteyamyawne2023 | All Rights Reserved. Do not repost on other platforms, copy, steal, or translate any of my works!

[haerin1]

could i ask for a wanderer x reader with a reader that has social anxiety and stutters a lot :3

꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱ OVERCOMING.

note: omh ty for this req; as sum1 who used to have rlly severe social anxiety this hit close to home ajaja anw i hope u like it :3 (any1 else feel free to req!)

[wanderer!scara x gn!reader] panic attack, wanderer is a lil' mean at first, fluff, opposites attract trope !!

It's one word with four letters. Surely, anybody could say it, because it's not that hard to ask for help, right? No matter if it showed you were inferior, unable to fulfill a task beyond your understanding; If someone showed you the ropes, you would feed from their knowledge. It's not the same for everybody, sad to say.

Sitting at a table in the greatly colossal library of Teyvat, the House of Daena, you're simply stuck. You try to focus on the assignment at hand, but unfortunately for you, your mind continues to drift off to the countless "what-if"s... what if you never told the little white haired archon about your problems?

Nahida suggested that your writing of a thesis about the way you feel and how your social anxiety affects your everyday life would help you better comprehend it, and overcome it, even by a little.

You couldn't help but resent the girl who has the sweetest of intentions a bit, because at the moment, you feel as though this is making it worse for you.

Your expression appears frantic as you roll your quill in between your index finger and your thumb, your gaze fixated on the paper behold you. You sigh softly and look up from the paper to take a glimpse at the pretty cerulean-haired boy for what seemed like the nth time.

His hair looks soft and well groomed, his indigo eyes exceedingly striking with his bold red eyeliner. His skin is as perfect as porcelain, you could say. Fair, and not a scratch in sight within his flawless flesh.

He's the only person in the library at the moment, and Nahida has mentioned him to you before. Any friend of Nahida's would be as kind as her... right?

Your teeth dig into the soft skin of your bottom lip as you subtly steal another glance at him. At the moment, Wanderer is occupying himself with finding a book that will help him expand more on his own thesis.

Unbeknownst to you, he was also looking at you every chance he got.

You're about to go up to him to ask your question, the question that has just been suffocating, anticipating to be released from your throat, when suddenly, something drags you down yet again. Your palms grow clammy and your heart beats faster, just by thinking of speaking to him.

It didn't even matter if it was him or not; Speaking to anyone you weren't closely associated with was too difficult for you, overall.

Your breathing pace gets a little uneven and wobbly as you try to breathe steadily through your nose, but even those breaths come out trembling in some form. The sick feeling of anxiety and panic altogether starts to creep up on you. It started to feel as though your intestines were scrunching up inside of you and you needed air, badly.

What if he degraded you for not knowing such a simple thing? Why must you burden a stranger with your needs? Infinite thoughts overwhelm you as your fingers tremble slightly from where they're now resting on your lap.

This really sucks.

You eventually decide on packing it up for today. You could withstand Nahida's disappointment anytime; It was nothing compared to asking a stranger a simple question.

As you stand up from your chair, quietly gathering your paper and pen, you slightly jump at the gentle tap on your shoulder.

"Do you have hearing problems or something? I've been calling you for the past three minutes," Wanderer says, his tone clearly indicating his annoyance. His brows are furrowed, his lips in a small frown as he glares at you. You're quick, a little too quick, to look down at the floor.

No matter how much you tried, eye contact was always out of the question for you. It made you feel uneasy.

"S-Sorry," you softly murmur, feeling yourself go warm and your trembling fingers tightly hold onto your quill and paper for some sort of stability. You must have been so absorbed in your panic attack, that you couldn't even hear him.

Wanderer isn't stupid. His cold gaze narrows as he examines you. Your head starts enduring extreme dizziness when you realize what he's doing. 'Oh, Archons, is he judging me?' Your thoughts are so loud, you draw a short intake of breath, thinking he heard it when you didn't even say anything.

After a moment of excruciating silence, he sighs and asks, "Can you look at me?" His tone shifts from irritated to somewhat more gentle now, however, he still sounded irritated.

You do as he says, your nervous eyes peering at him, but constantly glancing to other directions. Wanderer takes in your appearance now, still closely inspecting you. He takes note of everything, from the way you bite down on your lip, to the way you pick at your nail.

"... Do you know where I may find more books on the history of Sumeru?" he questions, after sometime. "Huh? Oh, yeah..." Your voice is soft-spoken and gentle as you hesitantly start to lead him to a section in the library. He walks by you, visibly side eyeing you as you walk with your gaze focused on the floor again.

'This would have never happened if I had just left earlier...'

"Um... here it is," Your words come out a bit unsteady as you come to a stop. With one hand holding your quill and paper, your other hand reaches for a book on the shelf. Wanderer doesn't fail to notice your wavering fingers.

You hand it to him as you barely even glance at him; Your gaze still flickers to him, to the side, and then back to him. Wanderer accepts the book from you, his fingers brushing against yours for a moment. His fingers are cold, similar to a glass window on a crisp winter morning.

"Thank you, even if you're quite the jittery one," he slyly comments, a playful smirk on his lips. "I'm Wanderer, what about you, hm?" Wanderer's voice is baritone and has a light air of smugness to it. His words roll off of his tongue like smooth melted dark chocolate.

You quietly reply, "[Name]..." Your eyes still don't meet his as you begin to faintly fidget with the hem of your Akademiya uniform's sleeve.

Wanderer tilts his head, noticing the quill and paper in your other hand. "Ah? Are you working on a thesis as well," he queries, his charming indigo eyes carefully surveying your reaction and awaiting your reply. You slowly nod, somewhat less queasy now.

"What about, if you don't mind my asking?" Wanderer certainly isn't one to easily have a conversation without completely dragging the other person down, but with you, it felt natural. It felt good.

You hesitate for a moment before responding softly, "Nahida advised me to write a thesis about how social anxiety affects... peoples everyday life." You know it's bad to lie, but you could never admit to a stranger about something such as this. You see it as your flaw, something that puts a heavy weight on you that has to be fixed.

Lessening that weight, even if it were by a little, would go a long way... and little did you know, it would start with him.

Fortunately for you, Wanderer doesn't manage to see right through your lies even though he's usually rather well at reading people. He simply says, "Okay. Well," Wanderer suddenly takes your paper and it catches you off guard.

"This is a blank page. Are you having writer's block, perhaps? Or is writing not your forté?" he teasingly adds, smirking at you. Blood rushes to your cheeks as you blush deeply, murmuring something quiet in embarrassment from his playful remarks.

Wanderer waves the paper around, humming, "Hm? What was that?" He leans closer to you, as if trying to hear you better. You lean back a bit, the close proximity overwhelming you.

"It's not that... I just need more ink... for my quill..."

A moment of awkward silence passes.

"... eh? That's it?" Wanderer appears disappointed as he sighs, "You could have asked me. Goodness, I was standing there the whole time and you didn't say a word." He grabs onto your hand and starts leading you somewhere among the library, seemingly insistent on helping you.

Wanderer's expression is bored as he continues dragging you around before finally finding an inkwell on a table. He's curiously looking at you as he says, "Is that really all? Such a simple demand, yet you didn't have the guts to ask-" Wanderer instantly shuts his mouth when he notices your gloomy expression.

Everything seemed to be falling into place now as Wanderer thought of the way you spoke and acted in a more complex way. More importantly, he realized that the thesis you're writing was never about other people's social anxiety.

It's like it finally clicked in his mind as he perks up before looking away, almost as a sheepish sort of gesture, as he mumbles, "Never mind that... Anyways, [Name]," His attempt at an apology was weak, but still sweet, given his intentions.

He takes your quill and dips the tip of it into the inkwell as he speaks, "Would you like to work on our theses together? You may not have writer's block, but right now, I do. So, what do you think?" His tone comes off as quite demanding, but luckily, you see his good intent.

You smile a bit. "Sure... that would be nice," you say in your same soft voice. Your words didn't tremble as much as they did before, and you don't notice it, but Wanderer smiles slightly at that.

He's quick to frown again, making sure he doesn't give you enoguh time to realize his smile before returning to his unamused face as he huffs, "Just don't get in my way." Wanderer sits down at the table and drags the chair next to him, closer.

"How are you going to help me if you're sitting that far away? Seriously, the person who designed this layout is stupid," he grumbles, rolling his eyes as he puts his thesis on the table.

The funny thing is, the chairs weren't even that far away from each other.

You sit on the chair by him and his leg is practically touching yours because of how close he made the distance. You gulp and Wanderer's body leans towards you as he nonchalantly says, "You have pretty eyes and a nice voice, by the way." Without waiting for your reply, he immediately adds, "Now, help me think of a starter sentence for this..."

The two of you end up working quite well together. While Wanderer easily gets irritated, you have more patience. He's rowdy and unfiltered, having no shame in saying his honest opinion at any given moment. On the other hand, you're more sweet about it, and provide advice to help move further.

It's like you two are puzzle pieces that perfectly fit with each other. Or rather, this moment with him is the puzzle piece, indicating the start of a bigger picture. A future with him, perhaps?

🐾🍫🍮 : © haerin1 (do not translate, steal or take too much inspo from my works)

[yuri-is-online]

I also like to add some angst into this AU with how Yuu can’t believe in soulmates/can’t feel all ranges of the feelings, of love, or even a little of them, because they are magic-less/from another world

( ͡º ꒳ ͡º) I am so glad you see my vision

I'm not big on writing unrequited feelings, or one-sided soul mates! But I do like adding doubt. Personally, I think these kinds of AUs can be so of boring when they take the road that just getting to meet the soul mate guarantees the relationship will be successful. Being bound to someone by the deepest, unspoken part of yourself should be terrifying. The work and choice it takes to maintain a relationship shouldn't go away because of the bond, it should be intensified by it. I have mentioned the Wayhaven Chronicles here before (it's an interactive fiction about vampires) but I really like the author's take on soulmates/soul bonds as she has been expanding on them in her series so for my own au I'm going to take some inspiration from that.

Just because Yuu feels the soul bond doesn't mean they know what it is, or want it for that matter. It's inconvenient, they don't want to date someone and form a deep connection that will tempt them to stay and abandon their home. I like your suggestion that because they are magicless they can't feel the full range of emotion the bond causes σ(￣、￣=) I like the idea of them just mistaking it for normal attraction and not something that will leave both them and the other person in deep pain if it's severed. And Yuu might be the sort of person who doesn't believe in soulmates for that matter! They might be resistant to it, angry that they are in love and angry that they can't go home. No matter what happens they're losing something irreplaceable.

The soul bond places more strain on the boys because of their magic, so they are more aware of it's presence and more effected by the desire to be close to Yuu at all times. I could see the magic trying to make up for Yuu's inability to feel the full range of emotion by pulling on him harder, desperate to be realized. My original angsty thoughts sort of teetered towards the yandere spectrum, as I could see a scenario where a truly delusional person thought that because they had this soul bond with Yuu that made whatever life they had in their world irrelevant. Clearly they were supposed to be in Twisted Wonderland all along, there's no reason for them to go back and he has a personal vendetta against whoever cause you to be trapped in a different dimension than him in the first place... but in the reverse since I am cooking something for Rollo atm and have him on the mind, I think he would try to accompany Yuu back to their world. He could see his bond to Yuu as a sign they are a benevolent spirit meant to guide him to a world without magic... I could also see someone coming to resent Yuu since they were happy not having a soulmate. They're vulnerable now, and they somehow can't bring themselves to hate Yuu because the more they try the deeper they fall in love with them so they just end up hating themselves.

There is much potential for angst in soulmate aus without making the feelings reciprocated hehehe

[tomriddleslove]

You had me going crazy with pick up the phone, specifically with the “mine, all mine” line. I was hoping to request how it would be with Tom, and having to deal with all his followers. Surely he expects them to treat you with the utmost reverence. Just wanna know your thoughts~

UGH OH MY GOD WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH TOM ☹️☝️

First of all I wholeheartedly believe he would not want to introduce you into that lifestyle. His followers do not know about you, and you do not know about his plans.

I am a firm and strong believer that Tom does not love, he only obsesses. You are an obsession to him, and as such he would not want to do something that could risk losing you. So if you really want to believe so, you could say it comes from a place of care. Mainly however it’s because if he loses you he risks having a weakness - someone who’s seen a (barely) softer side of him.

I think one of the things Tom would fall for is intelligence. Before we get into the whole debate of “what is knowledge” (my love for philosophy is coming through) , it’s not literally academic capability. Moreso, someone who is socially observant . They may not need to act on it but that have an uncanny knack for getting people to do what you want/getting on with people. That’s a huge asset to him and would most likely be the very first thing that drives him to getting close to you.

Love can manifest in many different ways, and obsession can too. I think there are many cases where they manifest in the same form, and that’s what Tom has for you.

As much as it pains me to say this there is probably only a very very specific type of person who can get Tom to as close as one can get to “loving you”. And at that point, it’s a whole new story.

Tom would resent you for it. He’d be so disgustingly angry at the idea of you making him love (or at least close to it) , making him be weak (because to love is to be weak, undoubtedly) that he would avoid you. He wouldn’t talk to you, he’d lash out, he’d lose his composure . That would make him all the more desperate for you, and so he’d end up coming back. Sort of like a “I hate loving you” type situation.

It’s essentially my fics “ Foolish, foolish thing” and “forgotten once again”

Ok now if we ignore my rambling, how would it be dealing with his followers?

I wholeheartedly believe it’s a “they don’t speak unless you command it” type thing. On the very rare and seldom occasion that you make an appearance, everyone is expected to keep their heads down. They cannot, and do not deserve, to look at you. If you are to speak, they dare not interrupt. They do not speak a word against you.

I see one sort of thing that kind of shocked everyone into not uttering a word of disrespect going like so:

Telmont frowns as he sits at the table, moving to interject. Carrow places a hand on his forearm, a warning to not interrupt Riddle in his already agitated state.

But, he chose not to heed the warning, and was doomed to pay the price.

“My lord, surely you cannot be suggesting we postpone the raid? Macnair confirmed that the only day the ministry would remove some of the heavy restrictions on the department of confiscated artefacts would be the day the French minister of magic was to visit! Otherwise it would be near impossible to enter without detection.” Telmont objects, and an almost deafening silence falls over the room.

It all of a sudden feels far too suffocating, and Carrow can only pray Telmont has enough sense not to probe further.

“Are you suggesting we do not possess the capabilities to carry out such an operation?” Tom says, turning to Telmont with an eerily calm voice.

“No my Lord, you are but the most brilliant mind we should ever have! I am merely suggesting that it is best we don’t risk unnecessary casualties for…. well, her.” Telmont stammers, and it is only as he utters those last words that he realises the grave mistake he had made.

It happens far too quickly for anyone to even realise what has happened. Telmont is yanked upwards into the air by some sort of invisible force, body convulsing unnaturally in a way that isn’t human as his face contorts into a look of agony.

“You dare speak of her? You dare disrespect her? I will slaughter every single one of you without second thought if she so asked. Each and every one of you are completely disposable. You dare utter a word about her and I will see to it personally that I strip every nerve from your body till death becomes mercy.” Tom snarls through gritted teeth, whilst everyone watches on in stunned silence.

He flicks his wand to the side harshly, spinning on his heel as he walks off.

“Get out.” He snaps.

Telmont collapses onto the ground in a heap as Tom walks away, and no one dares to move till he has left.

So yes, utter reverence and nothing more. Dare I say he expects them to treat you with more respect than they do with him, which is saying a lot.

I could genuinely write pages on what a relationship with Tom would be like, but for now i’ll just quote some things from the stuff i’ve written that I feel summarise him best:

He feels the rhythmic beating of your heart, and is once again reminded of how easy it would be. To just pierce the damned thing, and not feel this way anymore. To not feel like you were drowning him , yet he also needed you to breathe.

What began as a detached fascination transformed into a possessive need. Tom, driven by an insatiable hunger for control, found satisfaction in manipulating the threads of your existence. Obsession seeped into every crevice of his thoughts. Your every action became a challenge to him, something for him to understand, something he wanted to have control over. His infatuation stemmed from a desire to have control, to claim your very being, to possess you like some sort of artefact in his prized possessions.

In his distorted reality, your existence became an extension of his own, a possession he couldn't bear to lose.

Tom's presence was poison, yet it was also the air you breathed.

It wasn't love as the poets wrote or the philosophers pondered. Yet, in its ugliness, it was the only reality you knew.

Like a serpent, his embrace constricts around you, possessive and suffocating. You lean into him, feeling the coldness of his touch seep into your skin. It's oddly warming though, as paradoxical as it seemed.

His love for you (if you could class it as that) lingered in the spaces between your heartbeat, intertwining so seamlessly with your essence that to let go of him would be to unravel the very fabric of who you've become.

I hope you enjoyed this unsolicited tangent that came from a single question 💀💀

[alouiadina]

Prompt: Bucky meeting Buck's dad

I know you probably wanted a fight, but I went a different route.

Title: Nursing Home

Word Count: 707

--

The man slouched in the wheelchair was a far cry from what Bucky had imagined. His face was gaunt and sunken, with deep furrows etched into his skin. His eyes lacked any glimmer of awareness as they stared off into space.

Bucky couldn't help but recall the stories Gale had shared about his father. The constant drinking, the reckless gambling that left them with nothing, the times he raised his hand a little too harshly to Bucky and his mother, and the broken promises that kept piling up. It made Bucky's blood boil to think someone could treat their own child that way.

The man in the wheelchair slowly looked up at Bucky, his vacant gaze meeting his own. His mouth hung open slightly, as if struggling to form words. Despite all the anger and resentment he held towards this man, Bucky couldn't help but feel a twinge of pity for the frail creature before him. The remnants of what used to be a strong and proud man now reduced to a mere shell of his former self.

Gale's voice trembles as he speaks, barely audible in the quiet room. "Dad? It's me, Gale," he says softly.

The man looks over to Gale, the same blank expression on his face. Bucky watches as the frail looking hand of Mr. Cleven reaches out to grasp the sleeve of Gale's jacket.

"I brought someone with me today," Gale says again, gesturing towards Bucky. "This is Bucky." He introduces him with a sense of pride and eagerness, hoping for some kind of reaction from his father.

Mr. Cleven looks up at Bucky with a blank expression, his eyes struggling to focus. For a moment, Bucky sees a glimmer of something in those clouded eyes before they return to their vacant state.

"Hello, sir," Bucky greets politely, unsure if he is even being heard.

The older man simply stares back at him, his expression unchanged, then turns his attention back to Gale.

"You look just like my wife," he rasps hoarsely. "So beautiful, just like her."

Gale's expression falters for a moment and Bucky can see the pain in his eyes.

Bucky stands by helplessly as Gale leans down to embrace his father in a hug, but Mr. Cleven seems unsure of how to respond. His weathered hands awkwardly pat Gale on the back while murmuring something unintelligible.

"Come on, Buck."

Gale pulls away from his father and takes Bucky's hand, leading him out of the room.

"Don't pretend you didn't want to fight him." He says with a sad smile, trying to lighten the mood. "I saw that look in your eyes."

Bucky can only shrug sheepishly and squeeze Gale's hand.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea..." Bucky's voice trailed off as he struggled to find the right words.

"Neither did I," Gale sighed heavily, running a trembling hand over his tired face. "My mom didn't tell me about his condition until a few months ago."

Gale's gaze drifts away for a moment, lost in memories before he adds in a quiet tone, almost to himself, "At least he still recognizes me sometimes."

They walk in silence for a while, their hands still intertwined.

"I wish you could've met him before he got sick," Gale says wistfully. "Woulda loved to see you take a swing at him."

Bucky couldn't help but smile sadly at that thought. "Yeah, maybe," he replied. "I would have definitely given him a piece of my mind."

Gale let out a small chuckle and shook his head in fond amusement.

"I have no doubt about that," he replied, his eyes warm as they continued walking towards the exit.

They emerged from the nursing home and were greeted by a crisp autumn breeze, carrying the faint scent of woodfire and fallen leaves, their hands still clasped together. The vibrant colors of fall danced around them, a stark contrast to the dull walls they had just left behind.

"What do you say we go get some ice cream?" Bucky suggested, breaking the silence. "My treat."

Gale gave him a gentle smile, his eyes conveying gratitude and sorrow.

"I'd like that," he replied softly.

And so they went off together, leaving the frail memory of Mr. Cleven behind them.

[alien-the-ghost]

Let me satisfy you

Kinktober day 2, facesitting (Papa emeritus iii x reader)

Explicit 18+ only please

Summary: Being Papa came with its low points, but today had been the worst so far. He stumbles back to his quarters, exhausted and in need of destressing.

Tags: Oral sex, Fingering, Handjobs, Established relationship

Words: 1,436

Kinktober list by @kroas-adtam, divider by wrathofrats

Read under the cut or on ao3 <3

Being Papa Emeritus came with its low points, especially in the case of Terzo who insisted on fighting against the brass constantly. Yet today had been the worst by far. Being stuck in his office all day with no food breaks was bad enough, but having several cardinals and ghouls come in throughout the day to relay messages from Sister Imperator “advising” him how to do his job simply crushed him. Every comment creased his face with a deeper line from where his brow constantly furrowed, each new order darkened the bags under bloodshot eyes once bright with hope, until he practically didn’t need the eyeshadow paint.

Again, today had amounted to nothing. Not even an argument to be had, just purely sitting there and taking what was relayed. The frustration simmered, feeling it scratch up his throat and cloud his thoughts every time he had to hear her words. Yet he said nothing. He just couldn’t bring himself to take it out on someone who was simply repeating, unaware of how deep his resentment flowed.

He was itching to leave, chest clenching more and more with every tick of the clock, impatience twitching and tugging inside him.

The work day ended with his head in his hands. So eager to return to his bed yet he could only slump out of his chair and let his feet carry him.

Whatever plans he had to unwind was thrown out of the window when he opened the door to his quarters, met with the infernal sight of you just having gotten out of the shower, towel draped over your shoulders, only covering your chest.

For just a moment, his muscles relaxed, pounding head only filled with the thought of that one towel dropping to the floor. But he was unfortunately reminded of how exhausted he was, the very image of him pounding you into the sheets making him almost collapse.

“Are you alright?” Despite the paints disguising his weary features, you knew when he looked tired. He bore that same tired expression many, many times. Especially after he became Papa.

“You’re killing me belissima,” he managed to let out a chuckle, hands immediately grazing against your completely bare form. “Your Papa is so exhausted, yet he wants to do nothing more than fuck you now.”

“Terzo…” Your flushed cheeks did not help his burning desire, taking a step closer and rubbing your thumb against his cheek, chin resting against your palm instinctively. “You don’t always have to be the one taking control sweetheart.”

He groaned. “I know, but when I see you like this I just want to take you apart.” He never could get tired of making you scream his name, or seeing your naked body in every angle he could imagine. He was so tired yet he needed you. You could feel his erection press against your thigh, the frustration in him lingering, he was always one to please yet never gave himself the same pleasure.

You guided him towards the bed, smiling that he immediately flopped down before you could softly guide him on his back. You straddled him, rubbing his shoulders as your nose touched his, and with that he pulled you in. The kiss was more gentle than expected, when Terzo was hungry he would pull you into a ravenous kiss, one that swiftly dissolved in your neck covered in many red marks. This time he softly sighed into your mouth as he tangled his hand in your hair.

“I want to taste you.”

“Papa-”

“I know, but please. I need it tesoro. I’ve been craving something to taste all day.” He was giving you a rare look, pleading eyes accompanied with a small pout, squeezing your thighs suggestively. Your eyes shifted, he hadn’t had you like this before, no one had. As experienced as you were with Terzo, you were nervous.

“What if I crush you?” What if he didn’t like you from that angle? That you messed up the position and he’d change his mind.

“I’ll guide you," his lips tugged and he met you with a warm smile. "I’ve done this plenty times before. I am desperate tesoro, to have you this way.” “Slut.” You mirrored him with a smirk, the ease of tension bringing out a little confidence in you. It was Terzo, you reassured yourself, he would never make you feel bad, even if you did mess it up. He is so tired yet he wants you no matter what.

You carefully moved your way up to his face, knees shaking as you slowly buckled down to straddle his face. His hands are at your thighs, rubbing them reassuringly and guiding you to where he needs you. You felt too shy to look down, forcing your eyes straight ahead at the wall behind him, as much as you wanted to see how he looked between your thighs. Your hands gripped the headrest of the bed when he started kissing up, knuckles white, breathing already laboured. Then his tongue made contact with your entrance.

You had been eaten out before, but this was beyond how that felt. This new angle was bliss. Your shyness faded away when you felt him humming in delight as he lapped at you. Your little gasps and whimpers egged him on, fucking his tongue deeper into your entrance, arms hugging around your thighs so tightly. You could only barely hear his own moans over your own, muffled and needy, his movements more eratic with every lick and dip. 

He shifted you slightly, and an intense wave of pleasure washed over you when he made contact with your clit. Your hips bucked, hand tightening in his hair as he let out a louder moan into your cunt. You had almost completely lost your mind lost yourself in grinding against his perfect tongue so shamelessly, before you realised that he had yet to receive. After his long day you did not want to leave him unsatisfied.

It took absolutely everything in you to remove yourself from him temporarily, he shot you a confused look before realising you were just turning around. He pulled you back into his face with a curse immediately when you’d slotted him in between your legs again, flicking his tongue against your clit which made you dizzy. You did everything to remain focused on ripping open his pants, baring his cock to the cool air of the room. You could feel the vibrations of his desperation as you took him in hand.

His movements became more intense as you started licking up his shaft, nose buried in your entrance as his tongue became more erratic. The room was filled with the sound of your shared pleasure, thoughts completely incoherent as you fell apart. He gripped your hips, hard, and started to suck. Knowing you were on the brink you took as much of him inside you as possible, suckling around the head before sinking down and allowing him to breach your throat. He cursed again, moaning and growling into you, hips jolting into your mouth.

You were all too satisfied when suddenly a finger breached your entrance. Unable to hold back now, unable to form any type of coherency in your mind, you pulled off him to cry out as he pumped his digit gently in and out, stretching you open with another. The way he curled his fingers inside you, how he took you entirely in his mouth, finally pushed you over the edge, forehead pressed into his thigh as you harshly thrust against him. Every single senstion overcame you, crying out and not even able hear it, vision fading to white tightening around his digits, unable to feel your legs or anything other than the intense pleasure rippling through you. He let you ride it out, gladly allowing you to use his body. Your hand instinctively reached out to his cock, leaking furiously onto his stomach, pumping him intensely until you could hear him crying out your name. Hand gripping the sheet impossibly tight, his hips were moving on their own, pulsations intensified by the way you glided your tongue over his tip as he released.

After that you were both completely spent. The pair of you panting and melting into each others bodies. Your legs were now incredibly shaky as you lifted yourself off him and layed at his side. “Did I satisfy you​?”

He shifted to the side, body sweating and heaving, then pulled you forward. You moaned at the taste of yourself on his tongue, your wetness spreading from his chin to your cheeks. “Always, tesoro.”

[zenosyneee]

Chapter VIII WIP: Out of the Hells

In this chapter, we discover just how far Orin is willing to go to get revenge on the sister she despises- even if it means taking her place in Astarion's mind.

Content warning: Adult themes, suggestive and explicit content, fantasy violence, and memories of Astarion's past trauma. Orin the Red's shapeshifting antics and manipulation.

As always please let me know what you think of this work in progress- what you liked and didn't like, and what you hope to see in the rest of the story. I didn't proofread just yet, just posted it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amidst all his turbulent inner thoughts and the uncomfortable emotions that were chasing him tonight, Astarion turned his eyes to the water beneath the glowing moon on the wide open beach. The waves danced upward as if to reach towards the stars, begging for the chance to take flight in the night sky.

"A bird may love a fish, but where would they live?"

Astarion despised the feelings within his chest now, the feelings that he had repressed and hidden away for two hundred years. Anger and resentment muddied any semblance of respite he tried to chase this evening- and he felt that the progress he had made in coming to terms with his simple plan was dashed now.

But he was feeling, after all. For the first time in two centuries he was feeling. He wasn't mindlessly and soullessly pacing the streets at night in his endless hunt for his master- his otherworldly hunger eating away at his will to go on for another moment.

Just as his eyelids began to grow heavier, he noted something stirring within the shallow waters in front of him. His eyes snapped open and he could have sworn his undead heart did a flip in his chest. The crystalline ripples of the water that had been crashing onto the sand parted slightly to reveal a familiar face.

"Zenosyne?" he called out.

"Astarion."

"What are you doing?" He asked, and inwardly chiding himself for the silly question. Of course she wanted to be in the water, for her own sake. The siren craved the sea, naturally.

"Oh, Astarion." She called again, gesturing calmly for him to join her.

Her hands reached out towards him as she emerged from the sea- her skin glowing with the blues and greens of the evening sky and the setting sun. She looked the same, but different. She didn't wear the colorful beads that often adorned her chest, but black pearls gathered around her beckoning form instead. Some of the strands loosely hung from her neck, and some sat tightly on her wet skin- the flesh underneath sensuously begging to be set free. He let his eyes wander for a moment. He wanted to pull at the pearls and watch as the strands broke into a million pieces under his grip, like stars erupting from the heavens only to reveal what he desired beneath.

"Oh, Astarion what?" He asked incredulously. He rolled his eyes with feigned annoyance. The siren's attention was fixed on him still, each movement he made studied by her eager eyes. He walked up to the shore where she lay now, and stood over where she rested out in the shallows. His eyes darted back and forth between hers', trying to ascertain whether or not the dark urges had been settling in her mind again. She did seem different somehow, but it was not the dark urges that he saw in her far-off gaze.

The siren reached up to him again, her hands running over his sand covered torso. She kneeled with her shimmering tail still partly beneath the waves, and the water pooled around them both with bubbling foam. When each wave crashed up onto the shore, it crashed into their bodies- pushing and pulling them in every direction. It was as if the sea were pulling him closer to her with each rushing tide.

"I can see this very scene being the cover of our spicy little novel." He jested, hoping to rouse a giggle from her. She seemed utterly serious, and he wanted to see if he could chip away at that hardened exterior of hers' once again.

She didn't blink an eye- but a tiny hint of confusion was evident in her countenance. She didn't seem to dwell on this, though, pulling on his arms with more force than she had ever used before when toying playfully with him.

Astarion fell down onto his knees along with her now, the water splashing violently into their faces- his silver hair now wet and clinging to his pale neck. He felt that sensation again- the one where he thought his undead heart might be beating again as she grasped his face with dominant resolve.

He wasted no more time, and his hands pulled gently at the black pearls that were between her skin and his. He pressed his chest up against hers' for leverage, and let his knuckles pale as he wrapped his fingers around the glistening strands with more force. It brought her chest upwards and forced her shoulders back, her face tilted to the sky.

"Say the word." He whispered. His lips were inches from Zeno's, and his fists remained tightly wrapped around her pearl top.

"Please."

[lewisdeklein]

I’ve seen other people make their own MHA x MP100 aus so I thought I’d give it a try, staring with Ritsu and Shou

I made Ritsu and Shou more or less the main focus, but to be fair it just depends on what part of the story you would want to focus on. Making Mob and Teru apart of class 1A feels like it takes the focus away from Deku so they are both in the year above.

In this AU psychic powers are different from quirks. They existed much longer that quirks and don’t cause someone to have any physical differences than normal people.

Ritsu and Mob’s story is pretty much the same up till the clean up arc. They both live in an area with a low amount of quirks so their story isn’t affected by that much. When Mob finds Ritsu in the ally towards the end of the arc Ritsu agrees to stop what he’s doing but their relationship never really gets repaired in anyway. If anything I could it’s gotten worse. Mob gets into UA by recommend due to having very strong psychic powers. This would make Mob (and Teru) the first quirkless kid to get into UA, not Deku. Ritsu ends up getting into UA due to recommendations as well but has the grades to get in by himself. He becomes a Hero in hopes to be like his brother. Just like how Ritsu wanted powers to stop his brother in mp100, in this au he wants to be a hero to make sure he could stop his brother if he ever got out of control. Ritsu struggles with finding any actual reason for being a hero other than that. It was just mostly expected that he’d be a hero. Ritsu’s hero name is just his name. It’s like how Todoroki used Shoto as his hero name. They both don’t have much creativity

Shou is a bit more different in this AU. Claw still is a thing but it’s much more careful when it comes to exposing their existence. The reason Ritsu never got kidnapped by Koyama was because quirkless areas tend to have more heros. Claw and the League of Villains are friendly with one another due to them both being a potential threat to one another. Both know fighting each other would end in too much lose for both parties but both still believe they are better than the other. Shou, like most kids, wanted to be a hero. Unfortunately for him he would have gotten no quirk but his father told him that he was going to have something much more powerful, psychic powers. Shou’s mother found out that Claw was associated with the League and left. She didn’t take Shou with her because if Claw found them both they’d take Shou back anyway. She was a pro hero but retired after leaving her family since she felt so guilty for abandoning her son. Shou began to grow a resentment toward heros due to his mother leaving. His father put him through training to make sure he could become the perfect little soldier for Claw and perfect heir. Shou hated his father more than he hated heros so he began to plan to take down Claw. He didn’t trust heros so he decided to do it all by himself. Shou got into UA because his father told him to. He is a spy for Claw and the league. One of his jobs is keeping tabs on the kageyama brothers due to their strong abilities and potential. He got in by lying that his quirk was Fire to throw UA off from thinking he was his father’s son. This version of Shou has a more worn out and dark vibe to him due to how much long he’s worked for Claw. His Hero name, Pyro Mask, is actually a hint that he is a psychic. Pyro means fire so Pyro Mask is suggesting that he is using fire as a cover, or mask, for his psychic powers. Also I used pyro instead of Fire because it suggests that he has pyrokinesis, which is a form of psychic powers.

I’ve got hero outfits in the works and Teru and Mob.

I am cringe but I’m free

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 9: Night Work  Katsu sneaks out to send a message to Sasuke, and in the process discovers what Yoshimoto sleeps in (nothing).

Mitsuhide x OC; Hideyoshi x MC (Mai)

All Chapters Archived on Ao3 

Logline - With Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki missing, Mitsuhide and Katsuko reluctantly team up. Disguised as a merchant and his concubine, can they outsmart the man known as the God of Deceit?

Plan A… Be casual. He doesn’t know for a fact that you-

Mitsuhide was at my side so fast I hadn’t even seen him walk. Perhaps he teleported. He tipped my face up to meet that implacable gaze. As he stared down into my eyes, apparently preferring to interrogate me at uber-close range, he asked, “Find anything worth stealing, Brat?”

Plan B… The best defense is a good offense, even if the opposition is a kitsune with a habit of teasing.

“You took my letter. I want it back.” Better to admit what I had been looking for, rather than let on that I had found it.

It seemed my half-truth was admission enough. “I consider that document a form of insurance for… good behavior. Unless… you have an interest in earning the letter back another way?” Mitsuhide didn’t alter the way he was touching me or make any move to suggest that he was insinuating horizontal currency. And yet I knew exactly what he meant. And that he was just teasing. Probably.

Plan C … Exit as gracefully as possible.

Doing my best to ignore the way my breathing had sped up, I backed away from his touch and strolled back to my room – slowly, so that he wouldn’t think I was intimidated by him. Casually, so that he wouldn’t think he could get away with trying to scare me.

I did not look back.

No, I wasn’t scared. I didn’t have an identification yet for whatever this uncomfortable feeling was, but it was not fear.

It was only after I had crawled under the warm blanket on my futon that I put a name to my feelings.

Intrigue.

There was a part of me that was curious…? No, that couldn’t possibly be true. He was using some kind of Jedi mind trick on me. Or weird psychology… or not even that. So much had happened over the past few days that my brain was just latching onto the thing in front of me – Mitsuhide – as a way to not think about anything else. Anything other than the fact that -

Aki is my father.

The man who had left my mother while she was pregnant… the man who had left his future child – children – in the care of an emotionally unstable woman… it had been Aki. How could I reconcile the man I had always resented, with Aki, the man who had saved me and had given me a purpose?

As a child, when I was feeling charitable, I would rationalize that my father hadn’t known my mother was pregnant when he left her. That if he had been aware that he’d left two children behind, he would have come back. He would have become part of our lives, even if he could not, or would not, be a part of my mother’s. I even used to fantasize that he had been taken prisoner by a Yokai and that when I was old enough, I would find him and save him. It had been my favorite daydream.

But now that I knew he had been here all along…

True, ‘flung back in time’ was a good excuse for ‘disappearing.’ Except, his letter had suggested that there was a way to return to the future, that there had always been a way to do so. And therefore, Aki had no excuse for abandoning us.

Had he brought Toshiie and I back in time on purpose?

Our time travel could not have been random, nor could his rescue of me. He must have known from the beginning I was his daughter. Unless it had truly been a coincidence… maybe he only figured it out after I had been here a while?

Why didn’t he tell me? I… might have been thrilled at the time.

Ugh! So many questions!

Would the answers make me never want to see him again?

Were the answers in the other half of the letter? I rolled myself into a tight, contained ball, feeling like any moment everything would snap and I would fly into a thousand pieces – damn Mitsuhide for taking the letter, leaving me only to speculate on the rest of its contents. Leaving me to wonder if there was an apology in it. If there was love. Or if there was only more mystery.

“Come on child.” My rescuer hurried to my side and wrapped me up in a warm cloak. “You’ll catch your death of cold.”

Aki saved my life – but not my brother’s. If he had brought me here on purpose, then why not be waiting at the spot where the wormhole opened up, and greet both Toshiie and I?

“What is it that you do?”

“I’m an information broker.” He moved the target about a meter further back.

“A spy.” That made sense of the vast amount of correspondence and the sheer number of messengers who came in and out of the manor. Although it didn’t explain why he hadn’t managed yet to find my brother. You’d think a spy would be better at finding lost people.

“Spies collect information. I know what to do with it. Then, I fix things.”

I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of that. It brought to mind the idea of mafia and assassins. “What do you mean?”

He picked up two stones from the ground and handed one to me. “You see that pear hanging off the tree? Try to knock it down.”

I flung the stone with all my strength to the pear – but it looked like I was a little off course.

CLINK!

Aki had thrown the other stone right after, hit mine, and diverted it back to the pear. The pear shuddered, and fell to the ground. Ok, that took mad skills, and I definitely wanted to learn how to do that.

“Impressive!” I retrieved the pear and offered it to him. He gestured for me to keep it. “I don’t understand though.” I took a bite of the pear, then wiped my chin on my sleeve when the juice attacked me.

“The rock you threw was on the wrong path. I fixed it,” Aki said. “In the same way, sometimes things need a little nudge to get on the correct path.”

Was I the second rock? Did Aki want me to fulfill some mysterious mission? Everything I had learned about Aki over the past seven years suggested as much. He could turn anything into a lesson, a learning experience, a puzzle. He’d treated me with gruff affection, but had he ever been fatherly? Had he ever acted like I mattered to him? Personally?

Muttering an oath under his breath, the monk picked me up in his arms – I was a sweaty smelly mess, with my hair matted around my face and tearstains on my cheeks. My breath was still coming out in panicked gasps. “Outside. Please, I need air.”

He carried me out into the street. It was all I could do to breathe, as he held my hair out of my face. I hadn’t realized it, but I was crying.

There was a shout from down the street, and I looked up to see Aki running toward us, looking more unsettled than I had ever seen him before.

“Katsuko.” His voice cracked when he saw me. “Thank the Gods.”

He cared… I had to hang onto that. For whatever reason he’d never been able to verbalize it… but Aki cared. Though he had missed the first nineteen years of my life – he had been everything to me for the past seven. I had to see this out. I would find him because of the past seven years… and then punch him in the face because of the first nineteen.

Temporarily giving up on sleep (granted, hadn’t been trying … but that was a nonstarter anyway) I started a mental ‘to do’ list. Read the rest of my letter, talk to Francisco… find Sasuke ‘Mikumo’. The letter was temporarily beyond my reach. No way in hell would I walk into Mitsuhide’s room while he was in there. Francisco, on the other hand – wasn’t going anywhere and could be found at any time. But… Sasuke was probably on the other side of the country. Contacting him would take time. It wasn’t like I could slide into his DMs. (Although knowing Sasuke, he probably had figured out how to keep a cell phone working by building a battery out of a potato).

Yoshimoto could get a message to Sasuke.

Eventually.

Yoshimoto just leaped to the top of my to do list. With a bullet. Er, figuratively, that was. I didn’t actually want to “do” Yoshimoto, even if he had offered to wrap me in jewel toned fabrics.

That decided, there was no time like the present. With my luck, Mitsuhide would demand all of ‘Kaya’s’ free time after sunrise again – not to mention that during the day, I also had the new maid to contend with. And technically, I had only promised Mitsuhide that I wouldn’t leave while he was gone. He was back now… and I had made that promise before reading Aki’s letter anyway, before realizing I needed to talk to Sasuke.

Therefore… I was going out the window again.

In less than twenty minutes after I made my decision, I was running across rooftops illuminated only by the light of the full moon. Sakai at night was a different creature. Below me, groups of sailors swaggered through the streets, laughing, yelling, even menacing the merchants and servants unlucky enough to be in their way. Somehow the air from the harbor seemed fresher, sharper. Without the sunlight, the Autumn air felt bracing. As always when freerunning, I was more alive, as if I were the wind itself.

It was the one part of me that had not changed from the girl I had been in modern Japan to whatever it was that I had become over the past seven years.

Even if Yoshimoto had not told me that was where he was staying, the honjin would have been the first place I looked. Every town had one chief Inn – the honjin, where high ranking travelers stayed. As the leader of the Imagawa, Yoshimoto, unless he was trying to be inconspicuous (and he clearly was not), would of course choose the honjin over the many other lesser inns scattered across town.

Given this status, the honjin would be likely to be housing any number of high-ranking samurai, so finding Yoshimoto’s room might involve a bit of trial and error… and a bit of logic. Even though the Imagawa clan had fallen on hard times (if an ignominious defeat and loss of territory to Nobunaga and his allies counted as “hard times”), they still had money and status. The name Imagawa carried prestige – I suppose that technically, Yoshimoto was a prince, and thus would have been assigned one of the nicest rooms – likely one on the top floor.

I carefully climbed into the window of a room facing the courtyard – Yoshimoto was likely to have asked for one overlooking the zen garden as opposed to one that faced the street. My logic proved correct; I found his room on the first try, for I recognized the kimono displayed on a rack near the wall as the one Yoshimoto had been wearing earlier that day.

A Yoshimoto shaped lump on the futon appeared to be asleep.

“Yoshimoto.” I stayed just at the window as I called his name. One of the major rules of Sengoku: never awaken a sleeping warlord. They startle easily and it tends to be the fastest way to become a human pincushion.

As the lump hadn’t moved, I raised my voice. “Psst! Yoshimoto!”

The second call was the charm and Yoshimoto, stirred, sat up, and grabbed a dagger from where it had been resting on the floor next to the mattress. He looked around and squinted through the darkness toward me. “What? Who are you?”

“Katsu – Sasuke’s friend.” I held still while I waited for him to wake up completely and access the memory of meeting me a few weeks ago. Or meeting me today, if he had actually recognized me at the warehouse.

He groped around until he found a lantern and lit it. Once the amber glow filled the room he lifted his arms, stretched and –

Ooops!

Yoshimoto sleeps in the nude.

Pretending a nonchalance that I didn’t feel, I grabbed a yukata that had been carefully draped over a screen and tossed it at him. “My deepest apologies for awakening you, Lord Yoshimoto”

“’Lord’ Yoshimoto? You were less formal a few moments ago when you woke me up.” He pulled the garment over his shoulders – which… didn’t cover the area in question.

Well, I possibly was trying to balance the informality of the naked with the formality of the title… but, details. I shrugged and made sure to keep my eyes on my feet when he secured the garment with a sash.

“I take it there’s a matter of some urgency for you to have climbed into my window. How were you even aware that I was in Sak-“ he broke off, tilted his head, and looked at me for a long moment. Then, he gave me a dangerous come-hither smile. “You wouldn’t, by any chance, have been disguised as a woman earlier today?”

Ok, I guess he hadn’t recognized me earlier, and the offer he made to ‘Kaya’ had been in earnest. As if he could read my thoughts, Yoshimoto beckoned for me nearer, patting the spot on the futon next to him. “Dare I hope that you’ve come to me to discuss a matter of jewel toned kimonos, and other… arrangements?”

“Er, I was in disguise, yes, that was me. Is me. But, no, I’m actually, looking at… FOR… I’m looking for… “ ARGH. I took a deep breath and started over. “Please could you, um.” My embarrassment would probably fill in the rest of the blank for him, but I wasn’t in the mood to get into the specifics of Katsu/Katsuko. I gestured to his naked area. As he fully donned the yukata, I hurried on. “I need to get an urgent message to Sasuke. Are you returning to Kasugayama soon?”

To his credit, Yoshimoto only looked slightly disappointed, and in response to the question, he nodded, held up one finger and exited the room.

I buried my face in my hands. Really, he was too attractive for his own good, and even though I hadn’t been tempted (much) … a naked Yoshimoto was very distracting.

Just as I had gotten my scattered thoughts corraled, Yoshimoto returned, leading a half-awake Sasuke. My ninja pal was not wearing his glasses and he bowed to the kimono on the rack. “Katsu?”

“Over here.” I waited for Sasuke to reorient himself. “What happened to your glasses?”

“They met their demise under Yoshimoto’s foot.” He flapped his hand in the general direction (very general) of Yoshimoto. “I have another pair in my pack, but it sounded urgent. I can listen without seeing you.”

“In my defense, if you had put your glasses on a shelf, they would not have ended up between my foot and the floor.” Yoshimoto added another kimono layer. “I’m off to see if any of the tea maids are awake, as I presume you wish to speak to Sasuke alone.” Once again, he glided out of the room.

“How does he do that?” Yoshimoto made me feel clumsy, and I am not a clumsy person.

“Er, Katsu, I am not able to see what he did.” Sasuke was still standing in the center of the room, arms outstretched like a zombie.

I walked him to a cushion and helped him sit. “Oh… it’s the way he moves, like he’s always wearing…” I automatically paused to censor myself, then realized that I no longer needed to do so with Sasuke. “Ice skates.

He went very still, no doubt trying to recall if ice skates had been invented yet (they haven’t, as far as I know). “Ice skates?”

“So that kind of leads me to what I needed to talk to you about. Not ice skating, of course, but… ok, wait, don’t say anything yet.” I rushed on because he clearly had questions (so did I, if it came to that).  “I’m trying to figure out where to start, but it’s a long story and Yoshimoto will be back before I finish, if I don’t-“

“No, he won’t.” Sasuke flexed his fingers… as if he was making invisible calculations.

“He just said he was going to find tea.” I had clearly heard that. Maybe the loss of his glasses was affecting his ears.

“To be one hundred percent accurate, he expressed the intention to find a tea maid. He won’t return until after sunrise.” Sasuke sighed. “I wish I had my glasses. I would prefer to take notes as I suspect several ideas will present themselves while you talk.”

“My mentor – the man I’ve worked for these past seven years has disappeared. That’s why I’m here in Sakai. And his friend had one of those ‘in case of emergency break glass’ letters for me, in which, among other things, mentioned he knew you… that is, if your name is actually Mikumo?” I cleared my throat, wishing that Yoshimoto would be bringing tea after all. I was already getting thirsty and my story was not a short one.

“Yes… that’s my name in modern Japan. I took Sarutobi when I came here because he was allegedly fictional.” Sasuke pressed his finger to the bridge of his nose – it looked weird, even as I realized that was a habit from when he wore his glasses. “However, I have no knowledge of any other time travelers aside from myself – well, and Mai of course – but I know she could not be your mentor.”

The missing Mai was also a time traveler? Finally, a connection (of sorts) to Aki. “His name is Yamakoa Akihira-”

“Professor Yamakoa?” His face stayed neutral, but his voice went up an octave.

“Um, I don’t actually know what he does, or did, in modern Japan. Until I read his letter, I didn’t even know he was a time traveler.” We were getting off track, but since Sasuke likely wouldn’t be content unless he heard my origin story, I gave him a quick summary of how Toshiie and I had ended up here.

“There’s another wormhole? Holy crap on a cracker!” Sasuke muttered to himself for a bit, throwing out scientific theories that were far above my pay grade. I waited impatiently for him to find his way back to our present. “Hm, I suppose it could be the same wormhole… this is indeed fascinating.”

“Minutes after we landed?”  Manifested? What exactly was the best term for wormhole travel disembarkation? “We were attacked by bandits –“

“The wormholes don’t seem to care what sort of chaos they anchor to. Mai ended up in Honno-ji during the fire. I arrived right in the middle of a battle in 1578.” He coughed. “In the middle of a battlefield. And, er, immediately created a temporal paradox by giving CPR to Kenshin.”

Ah, that explained why Kenshin had unexpectedly been running around on a battlefield a couple years ago. “Could be worse. Could have been dinosaurs.” I shrugged. Had there been dinosaurs in Japan?

I didn’t realize I had spoken out loud until Sasuke nodded. “Didn’t you ever go to the National Science Museum in Toyko? They have quite a nice Futabasaurus fossil.”

“Never been. Only went to Toyko once on a school trip and we focused on the art museums – well, that doesn’t matter.” Somehow, I imagined that Sasuke could speak as enthusiastically about dinosaurs as he could about everything else, and there wasn’t time for that. If I didn’t get back to Mitsuhide’s townhouse before he realized I was missing, the result wouldn’t be pleasant. Or maybe he’d employ his pleasure torture, whatever that was, and I wasn’t terribly interested in learning the details of that either. Not firsthand. “Anyway. Aki – your Professor Yamaoka – rescued me, trained me, and give me a job, and well, you more or less already knew the rest.”

“He was a friend of my parents, er, Professor Yamaoka, that is. I’ve never studied with him, though. I’m a grad student in theoretical physics at Kyoto University and he’s based at another Uni. Even so, he is the one who hinted me toward wormhole theory. It sounds like maybe he’s been keeping an eye on that, um, node at Togakushi to look out for accidental time travelers, like Mai.”

“That would be the simple explanation, if he had ever bothered to mention to me that he was also a time traveler.” The thought was making me angry all over again. “No, he writes it all down in that letter. That and an ‘oh by the way, you’re my biological daughter,’ which might have been the bigger shock to me.”

Sasuke’s face, which I’ve often mentally called “resting Spock face” finally showed a surprised expression. He massaged his cheekbones. “Fascinating. Apparently, what I need to overcome my weak facial muscles is shock. Ahem. Er, I take it your parentage was the surprise, rather than your gender identity.”

Oh. Right. I had neglected to mention that when I was telling him the how-I-got-isakei’d-into-this-time-period story. I’d gotten too used to being around Mitsuhide. “Yes. That. Can we slide past the yes, I’m really a girl, for a moment because Aki is missing.”

“Hm, you did mention that at the outset. My apologies – it is rather a big chunk of data to input.” He closed his eyes for a moment (not that that was necessary since he clearly couldn’t see anything anyway), took a deep cleansing breath. And then another. “As you undoubtedly have already concluded, I do not know where Professor Yamaoka is.”

“Well, it was kind of a longshot anyway.” Basically, this was a wasted trip, although sneaking out of Mitsuhide’s at night was an illicit thrill. The only new information I’d uncovered was the news that Mai was also a time traveler. Although… that meant that two of our three missing persons were time travelers. Was there a connection? Or was the connection the fact that all three had been in Sakai investigating imports?

“Katsu, you are being very quiet and as I cannot see your face, I am left to conclude that you are disappointed. Or… have you thought of something?” Sasuke again pushed the vestigial memory of his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.

“I did. Sort of. It could be a coincidence.” Was Sasuke even aware that Mai had disappeared? “Um, I didn’t even ask… what are you doing in Sakai?”

“I suspect that you already know that Mai and Hideyoshi have disappeared.” He frowned – his facial muscles really were working overtime for him tonight. “Although, if you didn’t know that, don’t tell any-“

“I know. I’m working with Mitsuhide to find them.” With, not for, though I’m sure Mitsuhide would have objections to my choice of preposition.

“And the shocks keep coming.” He reached for the bridge of his nose, then stopped himself at the last possible moment. “I wouldn’t have thought you two would work well together.”

Preaching to the choir, pal.

“We don’t… but that’s an even longer story.” I put the whole slavery thing into a ‘he doesn’t need to know that’ bucket. “Our separate investigations somewhat collided.”

“And I presume the ‘might be a coincidence’ that you referred to a few moments ago, is that Aki and Mai are both time travelers?” Sasuke once again twitched his fingers, and I was about ready to offer to hunt for his spare glasses, because I was starting to feel anxious for him.

I nodded, realized he wouldn’t have seen me nod, and said, “yeah.”

“It’s possible. But there’s been no wormhole activity since prior to their disappearance.” He rubbed his eyes. “However, I was not aware of the wormhole node at Togakushi. I suppose it’s not out of the realm of possibility that there’s another node here in Sakai.” His tone of voice, though, suggested he thought that unlikely.

“I was hoping that what you could tell me about time travel would help me figure out where to find him.” I fought the urge to throw myself on Yoshimoto’s bed and stare up at the ceiling, but figured Yoshimoto wouldn’t appreciate that (unless I stayed there until he returned). “All I can hope is that if you’re here to look for Mai, that if you also happen to run across Aki, you can tell him where I am.”

“The thing is.” Sasuke sighed. He sounded as conflicted as I had ever seen him (I’ve never seen him conflicted). “I planned to return to modern Japan when the Honno-ji wormhole opens in a couple weeks – I have a friend in desperate need of medical treatment. It was when I went to Azuchi to say goodbye to Mai, I discovered she was missing. I dislike the idea of leaving if she’s in danger, but…” He did that finger tapping thing again. “Now that you’ve opened the possibility of more wormholes, then theoretically, Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki could be in the future. In modern Japan, I could use my resources in Kyoto to continue the search in case they are indeed in the future.”

Oh. Well. That was good, wasn’t it? Of course, there had been a part of me that had hoped that when I found Sasuke here in Sakai, everything would become clear, and would be neatly tied up in a bow, presented to me as mystery solved, and I could return to a non-Mitsuhide-infested life. Instead, I couldn’t help feeling that I had made matters worse for everyone.

Having learned my lesson yesterday, the sun had not yet risen when I climbed back into my room.

Not that it mattered.

“I believe I recall you saying you were going to stay put.” Once again, Mitsuhide’s voice came from the direction of my futon, where he again lay in that vampiric pose. “I would prefer not to have to lock you up to keep you from running off in the night.”

“What I said was that I had no plans to leave while you were gone.” And those plans had changed thanks to Aki’s letter.

“A rather dubious distinction.” Mitsuhide – well, if it were anyone else, I would say that he sighed – let out a huff of breath. “Apparently we are going to need to be far more precise when it comes to language.”

“We” need to stop referring to ourselves in the plural.

“I came back, didn’t I?” A decision I was already regretting. I detoured around the futon and stepped behind the screen. “Don’t you ever sleep?”

“I appear to sleep more than you do, unless-“ I heard a rustling that indicated he had gotten up, “you were sleeping in someone else’s bed. Yoshimoto’s perhaps?”

So, he had already known Yoshimoto’s identity when he asked earlier – and he’d known that my answer to his question had been a lie. Well. Lie adjacent. Had he followed me tonight? “Yoshimoto thinks I’m a young man.” Probably. Maybe. I hadn’t been, to use Mitsuhide’s words, exactly precise in my language when I told Yoshimoto that I had been in disguise.

Dammit, I’d left my night kimono in the main part of the – another rustle and it dangled over the top of the screen, falling on top of my head with Mitsuhide’s sarcasm. “I doubt that would make a difference to him.”

He was probably correct in that, but… “If he still believes I’m male, then it should be obvious that I wasn’t in his bed, giving him the opportunity to learn otherwise.”

When I emerged from the screen, I saw that Mitsuhide had turned down the blankets for me. “Mm. Perhaps. Perhaps not.” He patted the futon mattress. “Get some sleep, Brat. Sho will be here mid-morning to help you figure out what to do with your hair.”

Won’t that be fun.

I crawled under the blanket, then Mitsuhide tucked me in as if I were a child. However, once I was securely burrito’d in there, he leaned over me and fixed that intense amber glare upon me. “If you weren’t warming Yoshimoto’s bed, what were you doing?” He punctuated the question with a tap on my nose – almost a boop – sinister in its pseudo playfulness.

“I had something I wanted to look into, but it turned out to go nowhere.” I didn’t know if Mitsuhide was aware of Sasuke and Mai’s friendship, but it was not my secret to reveal.

“Care to elaborate?” The question was emphasized this time by a tap on my forehead.

Yeesh, what else is he going to tap on for future questions?

“I don’t really.” It really had been nothing and if I let him get the better of me now, then I was sure he’d continue to try and intimidate me this way again. Rolling onto my side, I turned my back on him. The blasé gesture was ruined by the fact that I had to tug the blanket free to do so.

“It pains me to have to repeat this, but if you determine you indeed have something to tell me, then you know where I’ll be.” He brushed his hand along the back of my neck, then finally left me alone.

If I thought that would be the end of the matter… it wasn’t.

@bestbryn @selenacosmic @tele86 @mllorei @akitsuneswife @lyds323

[sunset-bridge]

gorbo thoughts part .. 3?

goro thoughts update. id like to ramble again

ok i think he might not have ocd actually! i mean he could but like...i dont think theres too many signs. so yes id like to. recall that. i think that was just me projecting LMAO.. its ok! i love learning more about my favorite guy. you know what he does have

i stand by the ocpd. (obsessive compulsive personality disorder, its a completely different thing from OCD. its a personality disorder) also Definetely ctpsd (complex ptsd)...... ! i was talking with someone and they brought it up and i was like. WOAG.. after reading about it

disclaimer: i only talk about these because i have them LOL.. im sure gorbo has a cute soup of Other problems but like. i cant really talk about those well... i find these two really interesting though.

see. ocpd, is like the perfectionist control freak disorder. its what people Think ocd is lol. BUT as a personality disorder, its so much more than that. people with ocpd also:

-you tend to have a black and white moral code

-your way is the only right way.

-you like to do things alone because no one else could do them right; this may cause relationship problems and you may come across as a fucking cunt ( i know this..)

difficulty compromising and accepting any critisicim of your actions or opinions.

excessive devotion to work and productivity

sosososo afraid of failure even if its kinda small. you feel it will ruin your image forever and ever. if i make a mistake put me to death please.

Frequently become overly fixated on a single idea, task or belief. even to detriment of . everything else in your life...

yeah...

me and some friends definetely see some of these in goro! ofc im so happy to hear what you guys think, i dont mind changing my views at all (like with the ocd thing i changed opinion about!)

like.. hes super fixated on his revenge plan, its the Only thing he cares about and everything is fair game if it allows him to advance that. leave him alone, its no one elses problem. he knows what hes doing. he has to be right about his values and beliefs. he has to. or else whats the point. dont tell him hes wrong. what do you mean? you dont know anything about him. he cant fail, he cant make mistakes, he has to work hard so everyone sees him exactly as he wants to and as someone valuable.

and. cptsd. as the name suggests its. a form of ptsd but..it has the Special Added features of:

-sometimes cant control emotions well

-you feel angry distrustful and resentful at the world in general

you feel worthless, empty or forever damaged by an event. like if you were stained with dirt forever.

you feel isolated. like no one could ever even understand what you went through (not in like an. edgy kid way. like fr. you feel even if you explained to people. they wouldnt understand you and your feelings. or theyd judge you and further hurt you...)

avoiding friendships and relationships, or finding them very difficult (!!)

escapism or depersonalisation...dissociative behaviors .

yeah.. ! yeah. i think these ring quite some bells huh..! its really shitty! you feel like no one would get it, like no one would like you, like you are ruined forever and theres not much to do about it.

makes sense that goro would absorb himself in his plan. after all. he felt he was some sort of curse upon his mom; as if he was the one responsible for ruining her life.. but hed like to "redeem" himself with the revenge plan. he has to, even if its difficult to go on. i wonder if he planned to do anything if he achieved his plan? i dont think so. its a bit sad but.. he didnt really seem to plan doing. or living much more after. its like his whole life he convinced himself his only use would be as the vehicle to enact a revenge years in the making, and thats it.

as if he wasnt a person. just a tool to revenge. i think this is why its so difficult, frustrating and downright distressing to him to accept he too, has feelings and wants and needs like any Normal Person on planet earth. no way. those just interfere with the plan. and he has no right anyways.

i thought how id feel, in his shoes and with all my cute soup of wrong stuff, if some guy showed up, hes the guy i gotta kill. ok. then hes nice with me, as if mocking me. hes better at me in most things. he has friends and family and everyone likes him and he barely moves a finger. while i had to work so damn hard to even get acknowledged?? what does he have that i do not. hes nothing special. so why? then this guy acts like a fool even when hes so extraordinary in every aspect... does he think its funny? for someone so special to pretend to be ordinary. when id kill to be just half as special as him. honestly.. id become super frustrated with this bastard too. his presence would infuriate me. and the most frustrating thing, would be that this guy seems to be the only guy that seems to like hanging out with me. what the hell. guess he enjoys trying to humor me..

man...

[lemariee]

Chapter 15

Gerda froze, clenching her eyes shut with frustration before reopening them. Her body slowly turned to face the one person she resented. She blinked several times, struggling to subdue her emotions. Her mind was in midst of regaining clarity but she nearly lost it the moment she spotted him smirking. She truly loathed him so much that it pained her to even look at him.

"I will NOT be flaunted around like an exotic captured animal. I'm not some type of prized possession nor am I your toy." Gerda hissed, scolding him while struggling to hold back insults.

"You speak as if you're given a choice...either you obediently come with me or I slowly break both your arms." Borra uncaringly scoffed with his eyes warning her.

Her body briefly stilled; overwhelmed by the situation she was currently in. She had no choice but to listen to him. For that she despised herself knowing she's giving him what he wanted. Unfortunately she had to give in and accept her loss.

Without another word she held her chin up and sauntered over to him with a fixed glare. His smirk returned full of arrogance and pride. That was all she managed to notice before he walked ahead down the three steps that surrounded the circle. From there they headed towards the door she had entered from. Her small frame struggled to keep up with his pace; with her legs already getting strained. She felt like a little tamed puppy chasing after it's owner.

Gerda grimaced when she noticed the edges of his wings dragging behind him on the floor. She wondered if his body ever felt sore from it. The fey's anatomy was both disturbing and a curiosity to her; especially how they managed to carry their own weight when flying. Perhaps she would learn a lot about them through him and Celtra. With luck, she might even learn their weaknesses but most specifically his.

The echoing swoosh of large doors averted her attention to her current circumstance. She followed behind him and felt a bit relieved when she spotted Celtra waiting in the main hall. Once they walked down the wide stairs Borra stopped to speak to Rayne. Only then did Gerda have enough time for a brief conversation with Celtra. She warily walked over and silently stood next to her while Borra conversed with Rayne.

"He wishes to humiliate me by forcing me to accompany him every single hour of the day." Gerda angrily whispered to her while eyeing Borra.

"Remember to refrain from angering him. As I said before, it would make your life easier here." Celtra whispered, insisting Gerda do the impossible.

"It's easy for you to say but that 'creature' is insufferable. He's arrogant and stubborn. I find myself losing control of my temper around him." Gerda silently hissed, feeling her hands ball up.

"Sounds a lot like somebody I know. I find that you two have more in common then you think. It would be rather interesting to see some sort of genuine acquaintance form between you both." Celtra admitted, only sparking disgust in Gerda.

"Please spare me your assumptions, I refuse to associate with someone like that. Even then it won't change the fact that I am his prisoner." Gerda angrily whispered back.

"We shall see what the future holds, now I suggest you head back to Borra. It appears he's finishing up his conversation." Celtra added, making Gerda feel perplexed with her response.

She gave Celtra one last look of confusion before slowly walking to Borra until she was standing behind him. Something about his tone and body language suggested he was upset. Her ears managed to catch on to the last bit of his conversation with Rayne.

"Order them to keep looking until something comes up. I will not stand for such threats against our peaceful union between the humans." Borra angrily ordered Rayne.

"A-As you wish." Rayne quickly said with a pathetic timid look on her face.

She then walked away up the stairs heading towards a set of stairs leading to the third floor. Gerda glanced at Borra wondering where they were heading to next. Perhaps she could play her part being the obedient slave while gathering information about him and his plans.

"Starting today the human will be accompanying me until I deem it unnecessary. I will send for you to fetch her later. Is that understood?" Borra announced to Celtra with his voice echoing throughout the hall.

"Yes." Celtra politely responded, nodding her head.

Borra then dismissed her and turned to Gerda with hard, stern eyes. She knew that stare and it typically meant he was about to either threaten or warn her. Despite its meaning she stared back at him unphased.

"We will be heading out to the village, I trust you will be on your best behavior. Any disobedience will result in severe punishment. Do I make myself clear?" Borra coldly warned Gerda with a daring tone.

"Yes." Gerda softly responded after several seconds.

He briefly studied her for a moment before moving towards the large doors that lead to outside. Gerda was somewhat enthralled at the thought of exploring new territory despite Borra's presence. She silently followed behind him out the door wondering what part of the village they were leaving to. Perhaps accompanying him won't be so dull after all.

Goosebumps appeared on her exposed skin once they reached the bridge. She slightly frowned when she realized how cold it was outside. He must not be affected by the weather since he appeared to walk without any issue. The wind picked up, blowing her hair off to the side as her bare feet tingled from the chilly ground.

She instinctively wrapped her arms around herself with shivers rocking through her body. She remained that way until they reached the cage that she arrived in. The two guards nodded their heads to Borra, ignoring Gerda's presence. He then turned to face her with his expression growing puzzled as he observed her.

"Why are you standing like that?" He asked, genuinely confused by her arms wrapped around her body.

"I happen to be quite cold and the choice of clothing I have on is not suitable for the weather." Gerda said, feeling her feet become numb from the cold.

"I forgot how you humans are such weak, pathetic creatures." Borra irritatedly responded before signaling for the guard to shove her inside the cage.

Gerda felt annoyed by his lack of regard for her, throwing him one last glare before being pushed inside her cage. She wondered how he expected her to follow him around without any type of protection from the changing weather. She shivered once they were in the air with the temperature drastically dropping. Most of her time was spent attempting to shelter her exposed body as they glided the sky. She felt a sense of relief when the cage begin to descend, indicating that they arrived at their destination.

Shortly after her door was pulled open and she gasped when her body was yanked out. She wondered why the guards were being more rougher than usual. Perhaps they were desperate on making a good impression for Borra.

Gerda observed her surroundings and felt a spark of  interest when she noticed they were at the entrance of the village. She moved closer to get a better look and felt memorized by it. She observed the variety of creatures walking around. It brought a sense of sadness when she thought of how it resembled Ulstead, her lost home.

"Expected to see something much more 'primitive'?" The sound of Borra's voice asked as he was now standing next to her.

"Your kind surprises me each day." Gerda sarcastically admitted keeping her eyes on the entrance of the village.

"Don't be surprised when we become the next dominant species of this world." Borra pointed out, pulling Gerda's attention to him.

"The odds of that happening are very slim, don't get your hopes up." Gerda smugly said, feeling bothered at the thought of his kind gaining control of the world.

Her body continued shivering from the cold when a gust of wind blew past her. She hated how pathetic she appeared in front of him.

"Slim? You humans have proven to be weak. Look at how you stand trembling from the cold. Perhaps you'll eventually wipe yourselves out into extinction due to your aggressive, destructive nature." Borra said in a degrading tone that made Gerda stare back at him with narrowed eyes.

"I could think of many ways that puts us above your kind but I'd prefer we not stand here lingering around. That is unless you crave conversation from me?" Gerda hissed growing tired of his arrogance.

Borra eyed her with his usual cold expression before walking ahead without speaking another word. She followed behind once again struggling to keep up with his massive form while fighting against the cold. Once they entered the buzzing village, her eyes were everywhere. She studied the many markets and mixture of creatures going about their business.

She noticed a few dark fey women who would occasionally pause and throw flirtatious smiles Borra's way. It was bizarre how he had not chosen a mate when so many women were willing to be with him. Since Maleficent wasn't accepting his invitation, why not pick another woman? Surely he had many to choose from.

Her thoughts were cut short when she noticed they stopped in front of a market stand where a human woman was selling clothing. Gerda gave him a perplexed look as he spoke to the woman inquiring about the products she sold.

"I need a cloak and some shoes for her." Borra asked in a demanding tone.

"Hmm...perhaps this one will do, it goes beautifully with her skin and hair." The elderly woman said as she handed him an emerald hooded cloak and some light brown leather booties.

Borra thanked her and handed the woman some coins before shoving the clothing items into Gerda's arms. She stared at him with puzzled eyes wondering why he had bothered to buy them for her. He could've made her suffer in the cold out of spite but yet he chose not to.

"Don't think anything of this. I know how fragile you humans are and would rather not deal with you passing out from the cold on me." Borra hissed, noticing Gerda eyeing him in confusion.

"T-Thank you." She muttered, feeling her cheeks blush over stuttering her words.

He simply nodded his horned head before turning and heading towards wherever his next destination was. She quickly slid her booties on and threw the cloak over her shoulders before rushing to catch up with him. Her body was instantly relieved from the cold as warmth steadily took its place. Now she truly felt comfortable and was suited enough to explore.

After passing through the vibrant, energetic streets they finally stopped at what looked to be a store. It was quite simple in design and when they walked inside it appeared to be selling jewelry. She absent mindedly walked around noticing how unique each piece of jewelry was as they sparkled in the light. The jewels must've been found within the Moors because the beauty they each held was not something humans had ever encountered.

"I have been expecting you, I assume you're here for the package?" A male voice asked Borra instantly luring in Gerda's attention.

"Yes, I am. Do you have it?" Borra asked, eyeing the man with a stern expression.

"I do. Let me go fetch it." The horned middle aged creature said as his wings dragged behind him.

Gerda walked up to a necklace with a green shiny stone on it that was several feet away from Borra. She pretended to admire it as she patiently waited for the creature to return with whatever Borra came for. Her mind pondered over what he could possibly be asking for. She was rather surprised that he trusted her enough to drag her along.

"Here it is...but surely you are aware that my services are not for free." The creature said with a sneaky grin on his face.

"You dare attempt to bribe me? Do you know who you're speaking to?" Borra said in a low malicious tone.

Gerda stared between the two, feeling nervous for the horned creature. She knew that tone far too well and could only imagine the glare Borra must be giving him. Her feet instinctively stepped back causing the creature's eyes to flicker over to her.

"Well aren't you quite the sight, come closer and let me take a good look at you." The creature said with a disturbing twinkle in his eyes.

Gerda instantly glanced at Borra with a face of unease but was only met by him nodding her over. She nervously swallowed a knot in her throat and hesitantly walked over till she was standing right next to Borra. It was ironic how she felt safe within his presence at the moment.

"You must be his pet that everyone has been speaking of and the rumors are quite true about your mortal beauty." The creature said as his eyes studied Gerda's face with that disturbing twinkle before sniffing the air.

"Hm...how strange. Her scent is much more pleasing compared to the other humans...almost like an invitation to the body and nose. It's rare for a human to possess." He said with a low, slithering voice that made Gerda glare at him.

He then turned to Borra with a grin that only made her stomach turn in disgust. Borra appeared to be bothered by the way this filthy creature was eyeing her as he too glared back with yellow eyes.

"How about I cut you a deal...how much would you like for the human? I heard their women are quite the delicacy in our brothels." The disgusting creature asked, causing Gerda to ball up her fists.

"How much are you willing to pay for her?" Borra asked, instantly making Gerda's eyes widened as she desperately stared at him with a hint of betrayal.

Her heart sped up with panic soon overtaking her as the man now eyed Gerda, licking his lips. She couldn't fathom what she was hearing from Borra. How dare he use her in such a way to get what he wanted. It was all too sickening for her to believe and below Borra to even consider such a thing.

"I'll pay enough to buy the most rare jewels every kingdom has to offer, even more if she's still 'intact'. Judging by the size of her, I'd bet she's got a tight, wet fit between her thighs." The creature greedily said with his hand pulling out six large velvet bags filled with coins.

"Keep your coins...she's not up for sale." Borra coldly stated as he cautiously pushed Gerda behind him, almost shielding her within his wing.

"If you perhaps lend her to me for a couple hours I'll give you the package for free plus the money. I wonder if she tastes as sweet as she smells." The creature said, grinning and winking at Gerda.

"And my answer remains no, she is not up for any type of bargaining. Hand me the package or I will rip out your eyes and take it." Borra growled with glowing narrowed yellow eyes.

"All right, all right...take it." The creature said as he cowardly backed away with his hands up in a surrendering gesture.

Borra glared at him for several seconds before snatching the package from the counter and turning to walk away. Gerda quickly followed behind desperately wanting to leave the store. Before Borra walked out the strange creature once again spoke up.

"I can't help but notice how protective you are of your human girl. Hope she's worth it, their kind are known to be untrustworthy however very pleasurable in bed." He said with a sinister smirk that made Gerda uncomfortably squirm inside.

"Her life means absolutely nothing to me so I advise you to keep such ill comments to yourself. This human serves no purpose other than being a slave." Borra harshly said with frosty eyes and a clenched jaw.

He then abruptly turned to exit the store, almost leaving Gerda behind. She practically chased him down as he angrily stormed through the crowd. She sensed that he was upset over what the creature had told him.

She wondered what the creature had meant by such a comment, it baffled her. The idea of Bora being protective of her was utter insanity. He nearly murdered her on several occasions. It's implausible for him of all people and creatures to hold anything other than raw, hatred towards her.

She was also furious with Borra for putting her in such a tramatizing situation when the creature was interested in purchasing her. It was evident he wanted to hurt her every way he can. However, the thought of him selling her to be ravished was sickening of him. He was not going to get away with what he did.

[tuiyla]

Congrats on finishing season 6! I’d like to ask, what are your thoughts on Spuffy this season? I know Seeing Red can make it difficult, so totally chill if you don’t wanna, but I find their dynamic fascinating and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I'm actually so sad that I finished season 6 haha but oh well.

The good part of Seeing Red is that it's at the very end and Spuffy's last interaction for the season so I can talk about everything else and then touch on it.

We were off to a good start with episode 3 and Buffy only finding it in herself to confide in Spike. I think it's so layered that she did so, including but not limited to Spike's lyrics in Once More, With Feeling: a whisper in a dead man's ear. In that sense, Buffy starts "using" Spike at the very start. She can't bring herself to confess to her friends but Spike, Spike is... there. And willing to listen and actually understands far more than Buffy thinks others would. (Side note and not a Spuffy one, but damn I thought Buffy and Willow would have more of a confrontation about the whole ripped-from-heaven thing post 6x07. Oh well.) By confiding in Spike, Buffy, perhaps inadvertently, forms a bond with him straight after returning to the land of the living.

I see 6x07 and after that as the next step of this. The songs do a wonderful job of conveying Buffy's depression and her need to just, feel. Doesn't matter what. And it's pretty clear that kissing Spike is more to do with her own feelings of depression than it is with him, at first anyway. Fascinating that Buffy knows, not so deep down, that she's using Spike but him being a special situation of a vampire without a soul she sort of lets herself get away with it. Buffy is usually the person being used, even when it's as innocuous as being everyone's hero. It's still a form of being an instrument to others.

The next stage, one I have the most icky feelings about up until Seeing Red happens is when Spike realizes Buffy "came back wrong". Which she didn't, as Tara reveals to us and Buffy, but Spike delights at the thought. Not only does it make them equal once again in terms of throwing punches but, in his eyes, it brings Buffy down to his level. His insistence that she's some sort of demon now, too, is wrong of course but it also betrays just how desperately Spike wants them to be equals. He resented being called beneath her and now he gets to, in a way, bring Buffy down to his level. Which I find extra insidious when you consider that it wasn't just Buffy trying to alienate Spike by degrading him, it was Spike putting Buffy on a pedestal and blaming her for it. So it's a messy dynamic for sure, but like you said in the notes of that other post it's meant to be. Spuffy is dysfunctional (in season 6), yes, but I appreciate the intentionality behind it. I think it's quite repulsive that Spike is so desperate to make Buffy believe she's lesser than she was and that she needs to come live in the shadows with him, but it makes sense for the character and provides interesting drama for Buffy.

After all these years of UST I figured they would go for it but I was surprised to see just how explicitly sexual season 6 was. Not just through the Spuffy kinky sexcapades, though mostly that, but also with Willow and Tara being allowed much, much more than before. Which was lovely to see and wild to think that this was back in 2001/2002. And with Spuffy, it wasn't just what the camera showed and suggested but the graphic language used. Again, it fits, and if they just danced around the topic it would have made no sense and lessened the impact of the storyline. I suppose it's just strange to compare it to the, no pun intended, innocence of Bangel. Even curse aside, it was such a wildly different dynamic. I bring the sexuality of it all up because, as I mentioned when you asked about 5x07 violence and sex really do have such a thin line between them with Spike. And I do think it got a bit too much during their first sex scene, because there's only so much you can do in conflating the two before it becomes, sigh, hate the word but problematic. I'll circle back to this when I get around to talking about, sigh, Seeing Red.

Anyway, I think that thought process would lead me down quite the side tangent. So what I will say about the on and off sexcapades of Spuffy during midseason is that I've already seen arguments on just how bad it was for Buffy to be using him but to me it just reads as a mutually destructive thing. Yes, Buffy was using Spike despite knowing, if not wanting to believe that he had genuine feelings. Yes, even after she realized she too had feelings she denied and deflected and degraded. But like I say, I don't see that as any worse than Spike whispering in her ear about being demon-like, about being something that can't be around her friends anymore. More than the thin line between sex and violence and the using of each other physically, this is what's truly messed up about them in season 6. Buffy keeps hitting him the heart with all but an actual stake and Spike keeps fuelling her worst fears.

On a storytelling level, I think it's really interesting and overall executed well. I don't think the presentation of the text ever shies away from how messed up it is. The one thing I've seen backlash for in terms of how it was/was not acknowledged in the text is Buffy's invisibility stunt and the whole pinning Spike to a wall and unbuttoning his shirt before he realizes it's her. I don't know if it's even worth discussing, honestly, but I will say that I find one on one comparisons of that scene with Seeing Red to be wholly disingenuous. I do think it was a bit of a double standard portrayal and the rest of the season is quite good at acknowledging Buffy's treatment of Spike as iffy, but this scene isn't nearly the same.

Alright, let me think if there's anything else in the leadup to 6x19. Oh yes, the whole "tell your friends!! fine I'll tell your friends!!!" thing and Spike sleeping with Anya. Eh. Compared to their earlier drama I didn't find this stage nearly as compelling. Spike is pissed and petty. Rip to me I might just be different but I don't find him sleeping with Anya that big an offense. Sure, it was a dick against Buffy but it's not like Buffy's hurt really has a leg to stand on after she's made it clear that she wants them to be over. And Spike didn't do it out of malice, so I don't blame him much for this. As for telling Xander about them and the cat being out of the bag, it was again not something I can really hold against Spike. I'm not saying my conclusion of this portion of their arc is "wow Buffy was a bitch, poor Spike!" but, if not for Seeing Red, I'd think most of Spike's pov is justified. Keeping in mind that him wanting to gaslight Buffy into thinking she was a demon was still appalling.

And then, okay, Seeing Red. I accidentally spoiled this for myself when browsing on TVTropes, or at least a Spuffy assault scene happening and I'm glad I was mentally prepared cause god, that was a lot. I think I'll be able to say more conclusive thoughts once I see season 7 and see how they handle the aftermath. For now, I'll say that I don't think it's impossible for Spike to come back from this but he'll need to work harder than "just" going through the Demon Trials and getting that soul. I like that it broke the pedestal Dawn had him on. In terms of Spuffy, god.

It does make things marginally better that he seemed like he genuinely was just not thinking and got carried away. I already hate anyone who justifies it by saying Buffy had "trained" him not to take no for an answer and to be rough, though. Because assault is assault. And there were other Spuffy sexy times where Buffy did say no and nevertheless, they ended up having sex, and not saying that's not sus. But Buffy screaming and crying and begging is surely different. Damn, SMG acted her heart out with that.

The fact of the matter is, Seeing Red was a natural conclusion to their destructive dynamic this season. I'm not saying it was inevitable and if I'm correct many (including James Marsters?) hate that it happened. But I don't think it was out of character, as such. Really, a lot depends on how it will be handled. Spike now with a soul better feel damn guilty about the thing and I would hope that this makes him reconsider the whole sex+violence=love thing. But I also hope Buffy takes longer than a second to forgive. This was a traumatic experience no matter how we spin it and I want justice for Buffy as a character in that sense. I don't think this marked a point of no return for them at all, but since BtVS hasn't had the greatest track record with sexual violence I think this is their chance to get it right. Ah well, we'll see.

I'm sure their whole season 6 deal and particularly Seeing Red is quite polarizing. I'd actually be super interested if there were discussion threads or old forum posts, whatever, floating around about Seeing Red specifically. Even if they're not spoiler-free in terms of season 7 I'd love to save them and go back when I can.

Alright, I'm not sure I could offer much or anything novel but the bottom line is that yeah, I find them fascinating too. The relationship works very well with the season's themes and characters' arcs and while I can't comfortably say I support what they have this season, it is interesting drama.

[mageofseven]

Repressed Love: A DiaLuci Love Story

Chapter 25

Tag list: @astroseuss @zarakem @brielle043 @missloserqueen

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Upon the discovery of his missing fiancé, Lucifer went back to the classroom and pulled Barbatos aside, asking if he knew the whereabouts of the prince.

The butler frowned.

"Check the portraits hall." He suggested, but gave no reason why there specifically.

Still, the pride demon headed to that part of the castle

And found Diavolo on the floor, back to the wall and knees to his chest as he stared up at a specific portrait.

Lucifer approached his love quietly, but the other demon still knew he was there despite not taking his eyes off the painting.

"I would come visit her a lot as a child." He told his fiancé, prompting Lucifer to to turn toward the painting.

It was a painting of the king looking younger with a soft loving gaze aimed at the redheaded woman next to him.

In this form, Diavolo looked like the spitting image of her, their biggest difference being the eyes. While the prince had his father's golden orbs, the woman on the painting had warm reddish brown eyes that just radiated positivity and love as she hugged her big pregnant belly.

Lucifer quietly sat on the floor next to his love, eyes now on Dia as he stared up at his mother.

"When I was child, I would skip out on lessons just so I could see her." He smiled sadly. "Then my teacher would hunt me down and hit me with his cane..."

"Dia..." Lucifer pulled him into his arms, causing the redhead to nuzzle into his chest.

"My father...I've only ever seen him as a cold, strict man but...in this portrait, he seems so relaxed, so warm as he stares at my mother."

"The loss of her seems to have changed him as a person." Lucifer surmised, causing Dia to nod.

"She was everything to him... according to some servants we had when I was a kid, apparently they both grew up in the castle together."

"How did that happen?"

"Apparently, she was the daughter of the butler they had before Barbatos came." He explained. "So they grew up side by side. She...she was supposed to be her father's replacemet some day, be the one to serve my father...instead, they fell in love..."

"I'd imagine that would have caused quite the scandal back then."

Dia laughed

"Of course. But they loved each other and nothing was going to deprive them of the other."

The light in his eyes dimmed.

"Except for me, I suppose."

The prince's heart has ached for a really long time. His mother...she died not long after bringing him into the world and his father was never the same.

To Dia...he was the reason his mother was gone, that his father went from carefree and warm to cold and closed off.

Lucifer gave a gentle rock to their embrace, doing his best to comfort his love.

"Diavolo, that wasn't your fault." The man said softly. "You were a baby. You had no say in your own existence nor in the events that followed it."

The prince wrapped an arm around his stomach.

"I know...I've been told that before and I try to be believe it...especially now because I would never want our new child to feel the same if in my shoes...but it's hard when all of my life...I could feel my father's resentment towards me; he blames me."

Lucifer pursed his lips.

"Your father...does a lot of things he shouldn't."

"What hurt man doesn't?" He said sadly. "I just...I've always wished I could have had a good relationship with him...that I could have confided in him about who I really am and wondered if...my mother could have accepted me."

Lucifer's eyes went wide.

"What do you mean?"

"Lucifer..." Diavolo turned away, not looking at him. "I haven't had a single negative reaction to the potion...you know what that means."

It's true. Other than the nervousness after the transformation, Diavolo has been incredibly happy with his form, somehow even more relaxed than in his original.

Meaning...he was just like the people who this potion was created for, those whose physical body did not match up with the person inside of it.

Which means...

Lucifer gently took Dia's chin in his gloved hand, guiding his love to meet his eyes.

"You should of told me. I love you...I would have accepted you no matter what."

"I know but...you needed me; you had no one else. I wanted to be strong for you, take care of you."

"And I told you that it's my turn to take care of you," Luce reminded. "And I'm not going to neglect that duty...not to my future wife."

Dia's eyes went wide, a sparkle of surprise and happiness glinting in the gold of them.

"Lucifer--"

The Avatar of Pride leaned in and kissed his fiancée, slow and sweet, before leaning back and staring into those golden eyes he loved so much.

"Please, do not ever hide yourself from me again; let me love all you to your core."

The couple sat their for a while longer, not wanting to break the embrace or the peace the two has now found with one another in this moment.

Lucifer felt so guilty; he didn't know his fiancée was struggling like this and wished he could have soothed her heart so long ago

But he didn't. He couldn't have known and Dia was already so used to hiding this part about herself when the two had met.

The man knew the guilt he felt would amount to nothing however. What he needed to focus on was loving and comforting his expecting fiancée; that was all that mattered at this point.

Diavolo felt so relieved, so happy from coming out to her fiancé. Like always, she found so much love and reassurance from the man, feelings she had been deprived of all of her life.

From there, the two discussed other important matters, like telling Audriana and Satan about the new baby. In truth, the parents were worried about telling their daughter.

Audriana...she was born from Lucifer's shame and self-hatred. Though they managed to somehow keep their daughter pretty happy and carefree...well, the addition of a new child might be too much for her.

What if she feels like she's being replaced? Or devil forbid, believes the words her grandfather told her; that she was nothing more than a soul-shattered bastard, a lowly being who could never compare to the 'complete' people around her.

The parents knew they had a lot of hovering around their daughter to do in order to make sure she still felt incredibly loved and important to them.

The couple decided to wait till their daughter's school day was over to let her know the news.

For now, it was around the time for Lucifer to meet up with his son at the library. After some debate, the two decided that only Lucifer would tell him about the child.

Satan was still in a fragile state with his condition and the princess was worried about making things worse for her almost-stepson and in fairness, even Luce felt it was probably safer to just tell his son on his own.

The Avatar of Pride helped the woman to her feet before giving her a kiss on her cheek and telling her to call him at any point in the day if she needed him.

Everything gradually got more and more complicated for his family, but the pride demon was more than determined to take care of them all.