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grigori77 · 3 years ago

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Summer 2021′s Movies - My Top Ten Favourite Films (Part 2)

The Top Ten:

10. WEREWOLVES WITHIN – definitely one of the year’s biggest cinematic surprises so far, this darkly comic supernatural murder mystery from indie horror director Josh Ruben (Scare Me) is based on a video game, but you’d never know it – this bears so little resemblance to the original Ubisoft title that it’s a wonder anyone even bothered to make the connection, but even so, this is now notable for officially being the highest rated video game adaptation in Rotten Tomatoes history, with a Certified Fresh rating of 86%. Certainly it deserves that distinction, but there’s so much more to the film – this is an absolute blood-splattered joy, the title telling you everything you need to know about the story but belying the film’s pure, quirky genius. Veep’s Sam Richardson is forest ranger Finn Wheeler, a gentle and socially awkward soul who arrives at his new post in the remote small town of Beaverton to discover the few, uniformly weird residents are divided over the oil pipeline proposition of forceful and abrasive businessman Sam Parker (The Hunt’s Wayne Duvall). As he tries to fit in and find his feet, investigating the disappearance of a local dog while bonding with local mail carrier Cecily Moore (Other Space and This Is Us’ Milana Vayntrub), the discovery of a horribly mutilated human body leads to a standoff between the townsfolk and an enforced lockdown in the town’s ramshackle hotel as they try to work out who amongst them is the “werewolf” they suspect is responsible. This is frequently hilarious, the offbeat script from appropriately named Mishna Wolff (I’m Down) dropping some absolutely zingers and crafting some enjoyably weird encounters and unexpected twists, while the uniformly excellent cast do much of the heavy-lifting to bring their rich, thoroughly oddball characters to vivid life – Richardson is thoroughly cuddly throughout, while Duvall is pleasingly loathsome, Casual’s Michaela Watkins is pleasingly grating as Trisha, flaky housewife to unrepentant local horn-dog Pete Anderton (Orange is the New Black’s Michael Chernus), and Cheyenne Jackson (American Horror Story) and Harry Guillen (best known, OF COURSE, as Guillermo in the TV version of What We Do In the Shadows) make an enjoyably spiky double-act as liberal gay couple Devon and Joaquim Wolfson; in the end, though, the film is roundly stolen by Vayntrub, who invests Cecily with a bubbly sweetness and snarky sass that makes it absolutely impossible to not fall completely in love with her (gods know I did). This is a deeply funny film, packed with proper belly-laughs from start to finish, but like all the best horror comedies it takes its horror elements seriously, delivering some enjoyably effective scares and juicy gore, while the werewolf itself, when finally revealed, is realised through some top-notch prosthetics. Altogether this was a most welcome under-the-radar surprise for the summer, and SO MUCH MORE than just an unusually great video game adaptation …

9. THE TOMORROW WAR – although cinemas finally reopened in the UK in early summer, the bite of the COVID lockdown backlog was still very much in effect this blockbuster season, with several studios preferring to hedge their bets and wait for later release dates. Others turned to streaming services, including Paramount, who happily lined up a few heavyweight titles to open on major platforms in lieu of the big screen. One of the biggest was this intended sci-fi action horror tentpole, meant to give Chris Pratt another potential franchise on top of Guardians of the Galaxy and Jurassic World, which instead dropped in early July on Amazon Prime. So, was it worth staying in on a Saturday night instead of heading out for something on the BIG screen? Mostly yes, although it’s mainly a trashy, guilty pleasure big budget B-picture charm that makes this such a worthwhile experience – the film’s biggest influences are clearly Independence Day and Starship Troopers, two admirably clunky blockbusters that DEFINED prioritising big spectacle and overblown theatrics over intelligent writing and realistic storytelling. It doesn’t help that the premise is pure bunk – in 2022, a wormhole opens from thirty years in the future, and a plea for help is sent back with a bunch of very young future soldiers. Seems Earth will become overrun by an unstoppable swarm of nasty alien critters called Whitespikes in 25 years, and the desperate human counteroffensive have no choice but to bring soldiers from our present into the future to help them fight back and save the humanity from imminent extinction. Less than a year later, the world’s standing armies have been decimated and a worldwide draft has been implemented, with normal everyday adults being sent through for a seven day tour from which very few return. Pratt plays biology teacher and former Green Beret Dan Forrester, one of the latest batch of draftees to be sent into the future along with a selection of chefs, soccer moms and other average joes – his own training and experience serves him better than most when the shit hits the fan, but it soon becomes clear that he’s just as out of his depth as everyone else as the sheer enormity of the threat is revealed. But when he becomes entangled with a desperate research outfit led by Muri (Chuck’s Yvonne Strahovski) who seem to be on the verge of a potential world-changing scientific breakthrough, Dan realises there just might be a slender hope for humanity after all … this is every bit as over-the-top gung-ho bonkers as it sounds, and just as much fun. Director Chris McKay may still be pretty fresh (with only The Lego Batman Movie under his belt to date), but he shows a lot of talent and potential for big budget blockbuster filmmaking here, delivering with guts and bravado on some major action sequences (a fraught ticking-clock SAR operation through a war-torn Miami is the film’s undeniable highlight, but a desperate battle to escape a blazing oil rig also really impresses), as well as handling some impressively complex visual effects work and wrangling some quality performances from his cast (altogether it bodes well for his future, which includes Nightwing and Johnny Quest as future projects). Chris Pratt can do this kind of stuff in his sleep – Dan is his classic fallible and self-deprecating but ultimately solid and kind-hearted action hero fare, effortlessly likeable and easy to root for – and his supporting cast are equally solid, Strahovsky going toe-to-toe with him in the action sequences while also creating a rewardingly complex smart-woman/badass combo in Muri, while the other real standouts include Sam Richardson (Veep, Werewolves Within) and Edwin Hodge (The Purge movies) as fellow draftees Charlie and Dorian, the former a scared-out-of-his-mind tech geek while the latter is a seriously hardcore veteran serving his THIRD TOUR, and the ever brilliant J.K. Simmonds as Dan’s emotionally scarred estranged Vietnam-vet father, Jim. Sure, it’s derivative as hell and thoroughly predictable (with more than one big twist you can see coming a mile away), but the pace is brisk, the atmosphere pregnant with a palpable doomed urgency, and the creatures themselves are a genuinely convincing world-ending threat, the design team and visual effects wizards creating genuine nightmare fuel in the feral and unrelenting Whitespikes. Altogether this WAS an ideal way to spend a comfy Saturday night in, but I think it could have been JUST AS GOOD for a Saturday night OUT at the Pictures …

8. ARMY OF THE DEAD – another high profile release that went straight to streaming was this genuine monster hit for Netflix from one of this century’s undeniable heavyweight action cinema masters, the indomitable Zack Snyder, who kicked off his career with an audience-dividing (but, as far as I’m concerned, ultimately MASSIVELY successful) remake of George Romero’s immortal Dawn of the Dead, and has finally returned to zombie horror after close to two decades away. The end result is, undeniably, the biggest cinematic guilty pleasure of the entire summer, a bona fide outbreak horror EPIC in spite of its tightly focused story – Dave Bautista plays mercenary Scott Ward, leader a badass squad of soldiers of fortune who were among the few to escape a deadly outbreak of a zombie virus in the city of Las Vegas, enlisted to break into the vault of one of the Strip’s casinos by owner Bly Tanaka (a fantastically game turn from Hiroyuki Sanada) and rescue $200 million still locked away inside. So what’s the catch? Vegas remains ground zero for the outbreak, walled off from the outside world but still heavily infested within, and in less than three days the US military intends to sterilise the site with a tactical nuke. Simple premise, down and dirty, trashy flick, right? Wrong – Snyder has never believed in doing things small, having brought us unapologetically BIG cinema with the likes of 300, Watchmen, Man of Steel and, most notably, his version of Justice League, so this is another MASSIVE undertaking, every scene shot for maximum thrills or emotional impact, each set-piece executed with his characteristic militaristic precision and explosive predilection (a harrowing fight for survival against a freshly-awakened zombie horde in tightly packed casino corridors is the film’s undeniable highlight), and the gauzy, dreamlike cinematography gives even simple scenes an intriguing and evocative edge that really does make you feel like you’re watching something BIG. The characters all feel larger-than-life too – Bautista can seem somewhat cartoonish at times, and this role definitely plays that as a strength, making Scott a rock-hard alpha male in the classic Hollywood mould, but he’s such a great actor that of course he’s able to invest the character with real rewarding complexity beneath the surface; Ana de la Reguera (Eastbound & Down) and Nora Arnezeder (Zoo, Mozart in the Jungle), meanwhile, both bring a healthy dose of oestrogen-fuelled badassery to proceedings as, respectively, Scott’s regular second-in-command, Maria Cruz, and Lilly the Coyote, Power’s Omari Hardwick and Matthias Schweighofer (You Are Wanted) make for a fun odd-couple double act as circular-saw-wielding merc Vanderohe and Dieter, the nervous, nerdy German safecracker brought in to crack the vault, and Fear the Walking Dead’s Garrett Dillahunt channels spectacular scumbag energy as Tanaka’s sleazy former casino boss Martin, while latecomer Tig Notaro (Star Trek Discovery) effortlessly rises above her last-minute-casting controversy to deliver brilliantly as sassy and acerbic chopper pilot Peters. I think it goes without saying that Snyder can do this in his sleep, but he definitely wasn’t napping here – he pulled out all the stops on this one, delivering a thrilling, darkly comic and endearingly CRACKERS zombie flick that not only compares favourably to his own Dawn but is, undeniably, his best film for AGES. Netflix certainly seem to be pleased with the results – a spinoff prequel, Army of Thieves, starring Dieter in another heist thriller, is set to drop in October, with an animated series following in the Spring, and there’s already rumours of a sequel in development. I’m certainly up for more …

7. BLACK WIDOW – no major blockbuster property was hit harder by COVID than the MCU, which saw its ENTIRE SLATE for 2020 delayed for over a year in the face of Marvel Studios bowing to the inevitability of the Pandemic and unwilling to sacrifice those all-important box-office receipts by just sending their films straight to streaming. The most frustrating part for hardcore fans of the series was the delay of a standalone film that was already criminally overdue – the solo headlining vehicle of founding Avenger and bona fide female superhero ICON Natasha Romanoff, aka the Black Widow. Equally frustratingly, then, this film seems set to be overshadowed by real life controversy as star and producer Scarlett Johansson goes head-to-head with Disney in civil court over their breach-of-contract after they hedged their bets by releasing the film simultaneously in cinemas and on their own streaming platform, which has led to poor box office as many of the film’s potential audience chose to watch it at home instead of risk movie theatres with the virus still very much remaining a threat (and Disney have clearly reacted AGAIN, now backtracking on their release policy by instigating a new 45-day cinematic exclusivity window on all their big releases for the immediate future). But what of the film itself? Well Black Widow is an interesting piece of work, director Cate Shortland (Berlin Syndrome) and screenwriter Eric Pearson (Thor: Ragnarok) delivering a decidedly stripped-back, lean and intellectual beast that bears greater resemblance to the more cerebral work of the Russo Brothers on their Captain America films than the more classically bombastic likes of Iron Man, Thor or the Avengers flicks, concentrating on story and characters over action and spectacle as we wind back the clock to before the events of Infinity War and Endgame, when Romanoff was on the run after Civil War, hunted by the government-appointed forces of US Secretary of State “Thunderbolt” Ross (William Hurt) after violating the Sokovia Accords. Then a mysterious delivery throws her back into the fray as she finds herself targeted by a mysterious assassin, forcing her to team up with her estranged “sister” Yelena Belova (Midsommar’s Florence Pugh), another Black Widow who’s just gone rogue from the same Red Room Natasha escaped years ago, armed with a McGuffin capable of foiling a dastardly plot for world domination. The reluctant duo need help in this endeavour though, enlisting the aid of their former “parents”, veteran Widow and scientist Melina Vostokoff (Rachel Weisz) and Alexie Shostakov (Stranger Things’ David Harbour), aka the Red Guardian, a Russian super-soldier intended to be their counterpart to Captain America, who’s been languishing in a Siberian gulag for the last twenty years. After the Earth-shaking, universe-changing events of recent MCU events, this film certainly feels like a much more self-contained, modest affair, playing for much smaller stakes, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less worthy of our attention – this is as precision-crafted as anything we’ve seen from Marvel so far, but it also feels like a refreshing change of pace after all those enormous cosmic shenanigans, while the script is as tight as a drum, propelling a taut, suspense-filled thriller that certainly doesn’t scrimp on the action front. Sure, the set-pieces are very much in service of the story here, but they’re still the pre-requisite MCU rollercoaster rides, a selection of breathless chases and bone-crunching fights that really do play to the strengths of one of our favourite Avengers, but this is definitely one of those films where the real fireworks come when the film focuses on the characters – Johansson is so comfortable with her character she’s basically BECOME Natasha Romanoff, kickass and ruthless and complex and sassy and still just desperate for a family (though she hides it well throughout the film), while Weisz delivers one of her best performances in years as a peerless professional who keeps her emotions tightly reigned in but slowly comes to realise that she was never more happy than when she was pretending to be a simple mother, and Ray Winstone does a genuinely fantastic job of taking a character who could have been one of the MCU’s most disappointingly bland villains, General Dreykov, master of the Red Room, and investing him with enough oily charisma and intense presence to craft something truly memorable (frustratingly, the same cannot be said for the film’s supposed main physical threat, Taskmaster, who performs well in their frustratingly brief appearances but ultimately gets Darth Maul levels of short service). The true scene-stealers in the film, however, are Alexie and Yelena – Harbour’s clearly having the time of his life hamming it up as a self-important, puffed-up peacock of a superhero who never got his shot and is clearly (rightly) decidedly bitter about it, preferring to relive the life he SHOULD have had instead of remembering the good in the one he got; Pugh, meanwhile, is THE BEST THING IN THE WHOLE MOVIE, easily matching Johanssen scene-for-scene in the action stakes but frequently out-performing her when it comes to acting, investing Yelena with a sweet naivety and innocence and a certain amount of quirky geekiness that makes for one of the year’s most endearing female protagonists (certainly one who, if the character goes the way I think she will, is thoroughly capable of carrying the torch for the foreseeable future). In the end this is definitely one of the LEAST typical, by-the-numbers MCU films to date, and by delivering something a little different I think they’ve given us just the kind of leftfield swerve the series needs right now. It’s certainly one of their most fascinating and rewarding films so far, and since it seems to be Johansson’s final tour of duty as the Black Widow, it’s also a most fitting farewell indeed.

6. WRATH OF MAN – Guy Ritchie’s latest (regarded by many as a triumphant return to form, which I consider unfair since I don’t think he ever went away, especially after 2020’s spectacular The Gentlemen) is BY FAR his darkest film – let’s get this clear from the start. Anyone who knows his work knows that Ritchie consistently maintains a near flawless balance and humour and seriousness in his films that gives them a welcome quirkiness that is one of his most distinctive trademarks, so for him to suddenly deliver a film which takes itself SO SERIOUSLY is one hell of a departure. This is a film which almost REVELS in its darkness – Ritchie’s always loved bathing in man’s baser instincts, but Wrath of Man almost makes a kind of twisted VIRTUE out of wallowing in the genuine evils that men are capable of inflicting on each other. The film certainly kicks off as it means to go on – In a tour-de-force single-shot opening, we watch a daring armoured car robbery on the streets of Los Angeles that goes horrifically wrong, an event which will have devastating consequences in the future. Five months later, Fortico Security hires taciturn Brit Patrick Hill (Jason Statham) to work as a guard in one of their trucks, and on his first run he single-handedly foils another attempted robbery with genuinely uncanny combat skills. The company is thrilled, amazed by the sheer ability of their new hire, but Hill’s new colleagues are more concerned, wondering exactly what they’ve let themselves in for. After a second foiled robbery, it becomes clear that Hill’s reputation has grown, but fellow guard Haiden (Holt McCallany), aka “Bullet”, begins to suspect there might be something darker going on … Ritchie is firing on all cylinders here, delivering a PERFECT slow-burn suspense thriller which plays its cards close to its chest and cranks up its piano wire tension with artful skill as it builds to a devastating, knuckle-whitening explosive heist that acts as a cathartic release for everything that’s built up over the past hour and a half. In typical Ritchie style the narrative is non-linear, the story unfolding in four distinct parts told from clearly differentiated points of view, allowing the clues to be revealed at a trickle that effortlessly draws the viewer in as they fall deeper down the rabbit hole, leading to a harrowing but strangely poignant denouement which is perfectly in tune with everything that’s come before. It’s an immense pleasure finally getting to see Statham working with Ritchie again, and I don’t think he’s ever been better than he is here – he's always been a brilliantly understated actor, but there’s SO MUCH going on under Hill’s supposedly impenetrable calm that every little peek beneath the armour is a REVELATION; McCallany, meanwhile, has landed his best role since his short but VERY sweet supporting turn in Fight Club, seemingly likeable and fallible as the kind of easy-going co-worker anyone in the service industry would be THRILLED to have, but giving Bullet far more going on under the surface, while there are uniformly excellent performances from a top-shelf ensemble supporting cast which includes Josh Hartnett, Jeffrey Donovan (Burn Notice, Sicario), Andy Garcia, Laz Alonso (The Boys), Eddie Marsan, Niamh Algar (Raised By Wolves) and Darrell D’Silva (Informer, Domina), and a particularly edgy and intense turn from Scott Eastwood. This is one of THE BEST thrillers of the year, by far, a masterpiece of mood, pace and plot that ensnares the viewer from its gripping opening and hooks them right up to the close, a triumph of the genre and EASILY Guy Ritchie’s best film since Snatch. Regardless of whether or not it’s a RETURN to form, we can only hope he continues to deliver fare THIS GOOD in the future …

5. FEAR STREET (PARTS 1-3) – Netflix have gotten increasingly ambitious with their original filmmaking over the years, and some of this years’ offerings have reached new heights of epic intention. Their most exciting release of the summer was this adaptation of popular children’s horror author R.L. Stine’s popular book series, a truly gargantuan undertaking as the filmmakers set out to create an entire TRILOGY of films which were then released over three consecutive weekends. Interestingly, these films are most definitely NOT for kids – this is proper, no-holds-barred supernatural slasher horror, delivering highly calibrated shocks and precision jump scares, a pervading atmosphere of insidious dread and a series of inventively gruesome kills. The story revolves around two neighbouring small towns which have had vastly different fortunes over more than three centuries of existence – while the residents of Sunnyvale are unusually successful, living idyllic lives in peace and prosperity, luck has always been against the people of Shadyside, who languish in impoverishment, crime and misfortune, while the town has become known as the Murder Capital of the USA due to frequent spree killings. Some attribute this to the supposed curse of a local urban legend, Sarah Fier, who became known as the Fier Witch after her execution for witchcraft in 1668, but others dismiss this as simple superstition. Part 1 is set in 1994, as the latest outbreak of serial mayhem begins in Shadyside, dragging a small group of local teens – Deena Johnson (She Never Died’s Kiana Madeira) and Samantha Fraser (Olivia Scott Welch), a young lesbian couple going through a difficult breakup, Deena’s little brother Josh (The Haunted Hathaways’ Benjamin Flores Jr.), a nerdy history geek who spends most of his time playing video games or frequenting violent crime-buff online chatrooms, and their delinquent friends Simon (Eight Grade’s Fred Hechinger) and Kate (Julia Rehwald) – into the age-old ghostly conspiracy as they find themselves besieged by indestructible undead serial killers from the town’s past, reasoning that the only way they can escape with their lives is to solve the mystery and bring the Fier Witch some much needed closure. Part 2, meanwhile, flashes back to a previous outbreak in 1977, in which local sisters Ziggy (Stranger Things’ Sadie Sink) and Cindy Berman (Emily Rudd), together with future Sunnyvale sheriff Nick Goode (Ted Sutherland) were among the kids hunted by said killers during a summer camp “colour war”. As for Part 3, that goes all the way back to 1668 to tell the story of what REALLY happened to Sarah Fier, before wrapping up events in 1994, culminating in a terrifying, adrenaline-fuelled showdown in the Shadyside Mall. Throughout, the youthful cast are EXCEPTIONAL, Madeira, Welch, Flores Jr., Sink and Rudd particularly impressing, while there are equally strong turns from Ashley Zuckerman (The Code, Designated Survivor) and Community’s Gillian Jacobs as the grown-up versions of two key ’77 kids, and a fun cameo from Maya Hawke in Part 1. This is most definitely retro horror in the Stranger Things mould, perfectly executed period detail bringing fun nostalgic flavour to all three of the timelines while the peerless direction from Leigh Janiak (Honeymoon) and wire-tight, sharp-witted screenplays from Janiak, Kyle Killen (Lone Star, The Beaver), Phil Graziadel, Zak Olkewicz and Kate Trefry strike a perfect balance between knowing dark humour and knife-edged terror, as well as weaving an intriguingly complex narrative web that pulls the viewer in but never loses them to overcomplication. The design, meanwhile, is evocative, the cinematography (from Stanger Things’ Caleb Heymann) is daring and magnificently moody, and the killers and other supernatural elements of the film are handled with skill through largely physical effects. This is definitely not a standard, by-the-numbers slasher property, paying strong homage to the sub-genre’s rules but frequently subverting them with expert skill, and it’s as much fun as it is frightening. Give us some more like this please, Netflix!

4. THE SPARKS BROTHERS – those who’ve been following my reviews for a while will known that while I do sometimes shout about documentary films, they tend to show up in my runners-up lists – it’s a great rarity for one to land in one of my top tens. This lovingly crafted deep-dive homage to cult band Sparks, from self-confessed rabid fanboy Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim), is something VERY SPECIAL INDEED, then … there’s a vague possibility some of you may have heard the name before, and many of you will know at least one or two of their biggest hits without knowing it was them (their greatest hit of all time, This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us, immediately springs to mind), but unless you’re REALLY serious about music it’s quite likely you have no idea who they are, namely two brothers from California, Russell and Ronald Mael, who formed a very sophisticated pop-rock band in the late 60s and then never really went away, having moments of fame but mostly working away in the background and influencing some of the greatest bands and musical artists that followed them, even if many never even knew where that influence originally came from. Wright’s film is an engrossing joy from start to finish (despite clocking in at two hours and twenty minutes), following their eclectic career from obscure inception as Halfnelson, through their first real big break with third album Kimono My Place, subsequent success and then fall from popularity in the mid-70s, through several subsequent revitalisations, all the way up to the present day with their long-awaited cinematic breakthrough, revolutionary musical feature Annette – throughout Wright keeps the tone light and the pace breezy, allowing a strong and endearing sense of irreverence to rule the day as fans, friends and the brothers themselves offer up fun anecdotes and wax lyrical about what is frequently a larger-than-life tragicomic soap opera, utilising fun, crappy animation and idiosyncratic stock footage inserts alongside talking-head interviews that were made with a decidedly tongue-in-cheek style – Mike Myers good-naturedly rants about how we can see his “damned mole” while 80s New Romantic icons Nick Rhodes and John Taylor, while shot together, are each individually labelled as “Duran”. Ron and Russ themselves, meanwhile, are clearly having huge fun, gently ribbing each other and dropping some fun deadpan zingers throughout proceedings, easily playing to the band’s strong, idiosyncratic sense of hyper-intelligent humour, while the aforementioned celebrity talking-heads are just three amongst a whole wealth of famous faces that may surprise you – there’s even an appearance by Neil Gaiman, guys! Altogether this is 2+ hours of bright and breezy fun chock full of great music and fascinating information, and even hardcore Sparks fans are likely to learn more than a little over the course of the film, while for those who have never heard of Sparks before it’s a FANTASTIC introduction to one of the greatest ever bands that you’ve never heard of. With luck there might even be more than a few new fans before the year is out …

3. GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE – Netflix’ BEST offering of the summer was this surprise hit from Israeli writer-director Navot Papushado (Rabies, Big Bad Wolves), a heavily stylised black comedy action thriller that passes the Bechdel Test with FLYING COLOURS. Playing like a female-centric John Wick, it follows ice-cold, on-top-of-her-game assassin Sam (Karen Gillan) as her latest assignment has some unfortunate side effects, leading her to take on a reparation job to retrieve some missing cash for the local branch of the Irish Mob. The only catch is that a group of thugs have kidnapped the original thief’s little girl, 12 year-old Emily (My Spy’s Chloe Coleman), and Sam, in an uncharacteristic moment of sympathy, decides to intervene, only for the money to be accidentally destroyed in the process. Now she’s got the Mob and her own employers coming after her, and she not only has to save her own skin but also Emily’s, leading her to seek help from the one person she thought she might never see again – her mother, Scarlet (Lena Headey), a master assassin in her own right who’s been hiding from the Mob herself for years. The plot may be simple but at times also a little over-the-top, but the film is never anything less than a pure, unadulterated pleasure, populated with fascinating, living and breathing characters of real complexity and nuance, while the script (co-written by relative newcomer Ehud Lavski) is tightly-reined and bursting with zingers. Most importantly, though, Papushado really delivers on the action front – these are some of the best set-pieces I’ve seen this year, Gillan, her co-stars and the various stunt-performers acquitting themselves admirably in a series of spectacular fights, gun battles and a particularly imaginative car chase that would be the envy of many larger, more expensive productions. Gillan and Coleman have a sweet, awkward chemistry, the MCU star particularly impressing in a subtly nuanced performance that also plays beautifully against Headey’s own tightly controlled turn, while there is awesome support from Angela Bassett, Michelle Yeoh and Carla Gugino as Sam’s adoptive aunts Anna May, Florence and Madeleine, a trio of “librarians” who run a fine side-line in illicit weaponry and are capable of unleashing some spectacular violence of their own; the film’s antagonists, on the other hand, are exclusively masculine – the mighty Ralph Inneson is quietly ruthless as Irish boss Jim McAlester, while The Terror’s Adam Nagaitis is considerably more mercurial as his mad dog nephew Virgil, and Paul Giamatti is the stately calm at the centre of the storm as Sam’s employer Nathan, the closest thing she has to a father. There’s so much to enjoy in this movie, not just the wonderful characters and amazing action but also the singularly engrossing and idiosyncratic style, deeply affecting themes of the bonds of found family and the healing power of forgiveness, and a rewarding through-line of strong women triumphing against the brutalities of toxic masculinity. I love this film, and I invite you to try it out, cuz I’m sure you will too.

2. THE SUICIDE SQUAD – the most fun I’ve had at the cinema so far this year is the long-awaited (thanks a bunch, COVID) redress of another frustrating imbalance from the decidedly hit and miss DCEU superhero franchise, in which Guardians of the Galaxy writer-director James Gunn has finally delivered a PROPER Suicide Squad movie after David Ayer’s painfully compromised first stab at the property back in 2016. That movie was enjoyable enough and had some great moments, but ultimately it was a clunky mess, and while some of the characters were done (quite) well, others were painfully botched, even ruined entirely. Thankfully Warner Bros. clearly learned their lesson, giving Gunn free reign to do whatever he wanted, and the end result is about as close to perfect as the DCEU has come to date. Once again the peerless Viola Davis plays US government official Amanda Waller, head of ARGUS and the undisputable most evil bitch in all the DC Universe, who presides over the metahuman prisoners of the notorious supermax Belle Reve Prison, cherry-picking inmates for her pet project Taskforce X, the titular Suicide Squad sent out to handle the kind of jobs nobody else wants, in exchange for years off their sentences but controlled by explosive implants injected into the base of their skulls. Their latest mission sees another motley crew of D-bags dispatched to the fictional South African island nation of Corto Maltese to infiltrate Jotunheim, a former Nazi facility in which a dangerous extra-terrestrial entity that’s being developed into a fearful bioweapon, with orders to destroy the project in order to keep it out of the hands of a hostile anti-American regime which has taken control of the island through a violent coup. Where the first Squad felt like a clumsily-arranged selection of stereotypes with a few genuinely promising characters unsuccessfully moulded into a decidedly forced found family, this new batch are convincingly organic – they may be dysfunctional and they’re all almost universally definitely BAD GUYS, but they WORK, the relationship dynamics that form between them feeling genuinely earned. Gunn has already proven himself a master of putting a bunch of A-holes together and forging them into band of “heroes”, and he’s certainly pulled the job off again here, dredging the bottom of the DC Rogues Gallery for its most ridiculous Z-listers and somehow managing to make them compelling. Sure, returning Squad-member Harley Quinn (the incomparable Margot Robbie, magnificent as ever) has already become a fully-realised character thanks to Birds of Prey, so there wasn’t much heavy-lifting to be done here, but Gunn genuinely seems to GET the character, so our favourite pixie-esque Agent of Chaos is an unbridled and thoroughly unpredictable joy here, while fellow veteran Colonel Rick Flagg (a particularly muscular and thoroughly game Joel Kinnaman) has this time received a much needed makeover, Gunn promoting him from being the first film’s sketchily-drawn “Captain Exposition” and turning him into a fully-ledged, well-thought-out human being with all the requisite baggage, including a newfound sense of humour; the newcomers, meanwhile, are a thoroughly fascinating bunch – reluctant “leader” Bloodsport/Robert DuBois (a typically robust and playful Idris Elba), unapologetic douchebag Peacemaker/Christopher Smith (probably the best performance I’ve EVER seen John Cena deliver), and socially awkward and seriously hard-done-by nerd (and by far the most idiotic DC villain of all time) the Polka-Dot Man/Abner Krill (a genuinely heart-breaking hangdog performance from Ant-Man’s David Dastmalchian); meanwhile there’s a fine trio of villainous turns from the film’s resident Big Bads, with Juan Diego Botta (Good Behaviour) and Joaquin Cosio (Quantum of Solace, Narcos: Mexico) making strong impressions as newly-installed dictator Silvio Luna and his corrupt right hand-man General Suarez, although both are EASILY eclipsed by the typically brilliant Peter Capaldi as louche and quietly deranged supervillain The Thinker/Gaius Greives (although the film’s ULTIMATE threat turns out to be something a whole lot bigger and more exotic). The film is ROUNDLY STOLEN, however, by a truly adorable double act (or TRIPLE act, if you want to get technical) – Daniella Melchior makes her breakthrough here in fine style as sweet, principled and kind-hearted narcoleptic second-generation supervillain Ratcatcher II/Cleo Cazo, who has the weird ability to control rats (and who has a pet rat named Sebastian who frequently steals scenes all on his own), while a particular fan-favourite B-lister makes his big screen debut here in the form of King Shark/Nanaue, a barely sentient anthropomorphic Great White “shark god” with an insatiable appetite for flesh and a naturally quizzical nature who was brilliantly mo-capped by Steve Agee (The Sarah Silverman Project, who also plays Waller’s hyperactive assistant John Economos) but then artfully completed with an ingenious vocal turn from Sylvester Stallone. James Gunn has crafted an absolute MASTERPIECE here, EASILY the best film he’s made to date, a riotous cavalcade of exquisitely observed and perfectly delivered dark humour and expertly wrangled narrative chaos that has great fun playing with the narrative flow, injects countless spot-on in-jokes and irreverent but utterly essential throwaway sight-gags, and totally endears us to this glorious gang of utter morons right from the start (in which Gunn delivers what has to be one of the most skilful deep-fakes in cinematic history). Sure, there’s also plenty of action, and it’s executed with the kind of consummate skill we’ve now come to expect from Gunn (the absolute highlight is a wonderfully bonkers sequence in which Harley expertly rescues herself from captivity), but like everything else it’s predominantly played for laughs, and there’s no getting away from the fact that this film is an absolute RIOT. By far the funniest thing I’ve seen so far this year, and if I’m honest this is the best of the DCEU offerings to date, too (for me, only the exceptional Birds of Prey can compare) – if Warner Bros. have any sense they’ll give Gunn more to do VERY SOON …

1. A QUIET PLACE, PART II – while UK cinemas finally reopened in early May, I was determined that my first trip back to the Big Screen for 2021 was gonna be something SPECIAL, and indeed I already knew what that was going to be. Thankfully I was not disappointed by my choice – 2018’s A Quiet Place was MY VERY FAVOURITE horror movie of the 2010s, an undeniable masterclass in suspense and sustained screen terror wrapped around a refreshingly original killer concept, and I was among the many fans hoping we’d see more in the future, especially after the film’s teasingly open ending. Against the odds (or perhaps not), writer-director/co-star John Krasinski has pulled off the seemingly impossible task of not only following up that high-wire act, but genuinely EQUALLING it in levels of quality – picking up RIGHT where the first film left off (at least after an AMAZING scene-setting opening in which we’re treated to the events of Day 1 of the downfall of humanity), rejoining the remnants of the Abbott family as they’re forced by circumstances to up-sticks from their idyllic farmhouse home and strike out into the outside world once more, painfully aware at all times that they must maintain perfect silence to avoid the ravenous attentions of the lethal blind alien beasties that now sit at the top of the food chain. Circumstances quickly become dire, however, and embattled mother Evelyn (Emily Blunt) is forced to ally herself with estranged family friend Emmett (Cillian Murphy), now a haunted, desperate vagrant eking out a perilous existence in an abandoned factory, in order to safeguard the future of her children Regan (Millicent Simmonds), Marcus (Noah Jupe) and their newborn baby brother. Regan, however, discovers evidence of more survivors, and with her newfound weapon against the aliens she recklessly decides to set off on her own in the hopes of aiding them before it’s too late … it may only be his second major blockbuster as a director, but Krasinski has once again proven he’s a true heavyweight talent, effortlessly carving out fresh ground in this already magnificently well-realised dystopian universe while also playing magnificently to the established strengths of what came before, delivering another peerless thrill-ride of unbearable tension and knuckle-whitening terror. The central principle of utilising sound at a very strict premium is once again strictly adhered to here, available sources of dialogue once again exploited with consummate skill while sound design and score (another moody triumph from Marco Beltrami) again become THE MOST IMPORTANT aspects of the whole production. The ruined world is once again realised beautifully throughout, most notably in the nightmarish environment of a wrecked commuter train, and Krasinski cranks up the tension before unleashing it in merciless explosions in a selection of harrowing encounters which guaranteed to leave viewers in a puddle of sweat. The director mostly stays behind the camera this time round, but he does (obviously) put in an appearance in the opening flashback as the late Lee Abbott, making a potent impression which leaves a haunting absence that’s keenly felt throughout the remainder of the film, while Blunt continues to display mother lion ferocity as she fights to keep her children safe and Jupe plays crippling fear magnificently but is now starting to show a hidden spine of steel as Marcus finally starts to find his courage; the film once again belongs, however, to Simmonds, the young deaf actress once and for all proving she’s a genuine star in the making as she invests Regan with fierce wilfulness and stubborn determination that remains unshakeable even in the face of unspeakable horrors, and the relationship she develops with Emmett, reluctant as it may be, provides a strong new emotional focus for the story, Murphy bringing an attractive wounded humanity to his role as a man who’s lost anything and is being forced to learn to care for something again. This is another triumph of the genre AND the artform in general, a masterpiece of atmosphere, performance and storytelling which builds magnificently on the skilful foundations laid by the first film, as well as setting things up perfectly for a third instalment which is all but certain to follow. I definitely can’t wait.

#movies 2021 #werewolves within #werewolves within movie #the tomorrow war #army of the dead #Black Widow #black widow movie #black widow mcu #wrath of man #fear street #fear street trilogy #fear street movies #The Sparks Brothers #gunpowder milkshake #the suicide squad #a quiet place part ii #a quiet place part 2 #awesome sauce

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thetirisfaltheatretroupe · 4 years ago

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Big Troupe Announcements! Big Troupe Summer!

Hello, everyone! Lord Atos Sunhart here! For those of you who aren’t aware, Fehl had stepped down last year from Troupe related duties due to her own life becoming much more demanding, and so I returned to the director’s seat once again. I’ve been back for about a year, but we’ve kind of laid a little low since my return due to a lot of restructuring and our desire to try a few new ideas out that are coming along slowly but surely!

We have some awesome projects in the works, some of which won’t be ready for some time, and some that we’re excited to bring you much sooner! But we can’t QUITE open the curtains for a peek just yet. Before anything, I’d like to make a series of announcements about some of our projects this Summer, starting with the most important one of all:

The Troupe Is Casting!

Looking at some of the last posts made on this ye olde tumblr I guess it’s not a surprise that the troupe is indeed casting once more. In the past, it was due to not really having enough active people to pull off a large show with, but now, times have changed a bit, and we’re looking for people to make our shows even better and more frequent than ever!

What we’re looking for;

* Any race/gender/faction! Yes, we hire Alliance as well! In the era of Discord and cross faction RP, there’s no reason we have not to. Though, we are overloaded on elves at the moment and would kinda love a tauren or any Alliance character

* Obviously the character should be a good fit for the group! We’re not really looking for a serial murderer warlock who tries to sacrifice our members to the great Murloc Gods at the first chance they get. We’re not too picky here, but there are some characters that just don’t work terribly well with our concept.

* Available to take part in events during most of our performing days, which tend to be weekends, starting around 6:00 PM server. We base all our event times on server time.

* Someone who, behind the character, is friendly, patient, and above all else, mature. The clear rule of “don’t be an asshole” applies in this guild (and I’ll explain what that means below), and we have a zero drama tolerance policy. We are all adults who pay a monthly subscription to a greedy corporation to play with their toys, I think the last thing we want is to relive middle school in our 20s and 30s.

* Someone with a desire to help make memorable, exciting events for others to enjoy. While we play the part of celebrities, and being in the spotlight is a lot of fun, ultimately we want someone who, behind the character at least, does it for the enjoyment of others and not for personal gain or clout. We’re not clout chasers. We are proud of how long we’ve been performing and how hard we work, but ultimately we do this for our audience’s enjoyment.

* Communication is important! We aren’t a hardcore raiding guild, and thus we won’t be upset if you tell us you have to miss a rehearsal night or have a family emergency.. But if you know ahead of time, we really want someone who will let us know they can’t make it to an event so we can plan around it.

Furthermore, it should be said that while we normally do not require a person leave their guild to join us, this time around we’re looking for more to wear the guild tag above their heads, at least for this recruitment effort. Above all of these, the most important key point is the ‘don’t be an asshole’ policy. In the past I didn’t think it needed to be explained, but things we’ve been through in recent months compels me to explain what I mean by this; no homophobic behavior, racist behavior, transphobic behavior, harassment, pedophilia and other such illegal and morally vile behavior will be tolerated in our guild, period. But I’m sure you’re asking, what’s in it for me? Well, the benefits of working with the Tirisfal Theatre Troupe are, but not limited to;

* Being part of a near decade-old (8 years this October) guild that through thick and thin has stood the test of time!

* Working alongside some extremely talented, fun, humorous, and creative minds!

* Getting to make people smile and be a positive part of the community!

* Taco Tuesdays. This is a lie, don’t believe me.

* Helping an already fun concept become even better as we grow and adapt to the ever changing nature of this game and its community!

* Adding “Actor/Actress” to your long series of titles in your TRP Profile. Maybe somewhere between “Lord of the Dance” and “Wrecker of your Shit”! Don’t be bashful, we know you have it in there somewhere.

So if you’re interested in being a part of the stage and bringing the uniqueness that is YOU into our ranks, please send an in-game mail to Atos on Wyrmrest Accord server (Hordeside), or show up for the open auditions at the dates, times, and location listed below;

Thursday, June 3rd 6:00 - 8:30 PM Portrait Room - Legion Dalaran

Friday, June 4th 6:00 - 8:30 PM Portrait Room - Legion Dalaran

Saturday, June 5th 6:00 - 8:30 PM Portrait Room - Legion Dalaran

We hope to see you there! And remember, because we’ve had this happen a few times; if you think you aren’t good enough, you’re probably actually amazing and far more talented than you think!

Anniversary Bash 2021 Officially Planned! With a Twist

Those of you who have followed us for some time are likely aware of our annual celebration we hold on the anniversary of our first major public performance! This has traditionally been held on the third Friday of every October, so that it lines up perfectly with Hallow’s End starting. While we have had on-off years, and even said in the past we would never do it again (Insert I was crazy that time meme here), it’s pretty clear that at least every other year we seem to take to it again with new ideas. Honestly, we LOVE these yearly parties, despite how much stress they put us under, and we’re going to announce it earlier this year just so people know; yes, yes there WILL be a bash this year!

Things are going to be a little different this year, though. This October will actually have 5 Fridays in it due to...well...the calendar! It conspires against us, dammit! Because the third Friday falls in place before the Hallow’s End events are set to start, we will instead be bumping it up one week to the 22nd. So, there you have it! Our Big Bash will be on the 22nd of October! We’ll be making a full announcement about it later this Summer, and honestly, I think folks are going to really like the fun we have planned for it. So if this is something you’re looking forward to early, or you just like making sure your calendar events are always filled out, please make a mark for

October 22nd, 2021!

Hellsqueal Squeals Again, Plus Winter’s Veil In July?

This Summer we’ll be getting back to our roots and bringing Hellsqueal back for another round. The Trilogy will rise again, and you won’t want to miss it! This time we’ll be performing it for our audiences on both sides of the factional fence and making some revisions to the script, but long time fans needn’t worry! Hellscream is still the same boisterous buffoon he’s always been.

Also, we’re bringing you an interesting new concept no one has EVER thought of before! ...well, okay, that’s a lie, but Greatfather Winter needn’t send me a lump of coal in my in-game mailbox for that one! The TTT will be hosting a Winter’s Veil themed party IN JULY! Don your gaudy sweaters, get ready to meet Greatfather Winter, take part in a sled race, and get ready to watch a completely out of season showing of It’s A Wonderful Unlife! Some lucky attendees may even receive a gift! The date for this and for Hellsqueal’s trilogy are yet to be announced, but they will be unveiled very soon!

Even though we never left, it feels good to be back at full strength again and pushing hard to give everyone the quality entertainment we pride ourselves on! Keep an eye out for our announcements this Summer - we’ll be hitting not only Tumblr when an event is ready to go, but the Blizzard forums and various Discord community servers! So please, have a fantastic day, week, month, even a year!

#tttevents #Wyrmrest Accord #WRA RP #Wow Rp #Hordeside events #alliance rp

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sinceileftyoublog · 3 years ago

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Riot Fest 2021: 9/16-9/19, Douglass Park

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Much like Pitchfork Music Festival earlier this month, this past weekend’s Riot Fest felt relatively normal. Arriving at Douglas Park every day, you were greeted by the usual deluge of attendees in Misfits t-shirts and dyed hair, the sound of faint screams and breakneck guitars and drums emanating from nearby stages. The abnormal aspects of the fest, at least as compared to previous incarnations, we’re already used to by now from 2021 shows: To get in, you had to show proof of vaccination and/or a negative test no older than 48 hours, which means that unvaxxed 4-day attendees had to get multiple tests. Props to the always awesome staff at Riot Fest for actually checking the cards against the names on government-issued IDs.

For a festival that dealt with a plethora of last-minute changes due to bands dropping out because of COVID-19 caution (Nine Inch Nails, Pixies, Dinosaur Jr.) or other reasons (Faith No More/Mr. Bungle because of concerns around Mike Patton’s well-being), there were very few bumps in the road. Whether Riot Fest had bands like Slipknot, Anthrax, or Rise Against in their back pocket as replacements or not, it very much felt like who we saw Thursday-Sunday was always supposed to be the lineup, even when laying your eyes on countless “Death to the Pixies” shirts. Sure, one of the fest’s main gimmicks--peeling back the label on Goose Island’s Riot Fest Sucks Pale Ale to reveal the schedule--was out of date with inaccurate set times and bands, and it still would have been so had Faith No More and Mr. Bungle stayed, since Fucked Up had to drop out last minute due to border issues. But the festival, as always, rolled with the punches.

The sets themselves offered the circle pit and crowdsurfing-inducing punk and metal you’re used to, with a few genre outliers. For so many bands of all styles, Riot Fest represented their first live show in years, and a few acts knew the exact number of days since their last show. For every single set, the catharsis in the crowd and on stage was palpable, not exactly anger, or elation, but pure release.

Here were our favorite sets of the festival, in chronological order.

WDRL

Last October, WDRL (which, amazingly, stands for We Don’t Ride Llamas) announced themselves with a Tweet: “y’all been looking for an alt black band,, well here you go”. A band of Gen Z siblings, Chase (lead guitar), Max (lead vocals), Blake (drums), and Kit Mitchell (bass guitar), WDRL is aware, much like Meet Me @ The Altar (who, despite my hyping, I couldn’t make it in time to see) that they’re one of too few bands of POCs in the Riot Fest-adjacent scene. Their set, one of the very first of the weekend during Thursday’s pre-party, showed them leading by example, the type of band to inspire potentially discouraged Black and brown folks to start punk bands. Max is a terrific vocalist, able to scream over post-punk, scat over funk, and coo over slow, soulful R&B swayers with the same ease. The rest of the band was equally versatile, able to pivot on a dime from scuzzy rock to hip hop to twinkling dream pop. Bonus points for covering Splendora’s “You’re Standing On My Neck”, aka the Daria theme song.

Joyce Manor

Joyce Manor’s self-titled debut is classic. The best part of it as an album play-through at a festival? It’s so short that you can hear it and you’ll still have half a set for other favorites. So while the bouncy “Orange Julius”", “Ashtray Petting Zoo”, and ultimate singalong “Constant Headache” were set highlights, the Torrance, CA band was able to burn through lots from Never Hungover Again, Cody, Million Dollars to Kill Me, and their rarities collection Songs From Northern Torrance. Apart from not playing anything from Of All Things I Will Soon Grow Tired (seriously, am I the only one who loves that record?), Joyce Manor were stellar, from the undeniable hooks of “Heart Tattoo” to the churning power chords of “Catalina Fight Song”. After playing “Christmas Card”, Johnson and company gave one final nod to the original fest cancellation, My Chemical Romance, who were slated to headline 2020, then 2021, and now 2022. If you ever wondered what it would sound like hearing a concise punk band like Joyce Manor take on the bombast of “Helena”, you found out. Hey, it was actually pretty good!

Patti Smith

Behold: a full Patti Smith set! After being shafted by the weather last time around, a sunglasses-laden Smith decided not to fuck around, leading with the inspiring “People Have The Power”, her voice as powerful as I’ve ever heard it. Maybe it was the influence of Riot Fest, but she dropped as many f-bombs as Corey Taylor did during Slipknot’s Sunday night headlining set. After reluctantly signing an adoring crowd member’s copy of Horses, she quipped, “I feel bad for you have to cart that fucking thing around.” It wasn’t just the filthy banter: This was Smith at her most enraptured and incendiary, belting during “Because The Night” and spitting during a “Land/Gloria” medley, reciting stream-of-consciousness hallucinogenic lyrics about the power of escape in the greatest display of stamina the festival had to offer.

Circa Survive

“It feels good to dance,” declared Circa Survive lead singer Anthony Green. The heart and soul of the Philadelphia rock band, who cover ground from prog rock to post-hardcore and emo, Green was in full form during the band’s early Friday set, his falsetto carrying the rolling “The Difference Between Medicine and Poising Is in the Dose” and the chugging “Rites of Investiture”. While the band, too, can throw down, they’re equally interesting when softer and more melodic, Brendan Ekstrom‘s twinkling guitars lifting “Child of the Desert” and “Suitcase”. Ending with the one-two punch of debut Juturna’s introspective “Act Appalled” and Blue Sky Noise’s skyward “Get Out”, Green announced the band would have a new record coming soon, one you hope will cover the sonic and thematic ground of even just those two tracks.

Thrice

Thrice played their first show since February 2020 the same day they’d release their 11th studio album, Horizons/East (Epitaph). To a crowd of fans that came to hear their favorite songs, though, the Irvine, California band knew better than to play a lot of the new record, instead favoring tracks like The Artist in the Ambulance’s spritely title cut and Vheissu standout “The Earth Will Shake”. Yeah, they led with a Horizons/East song making its live debut, the dreamy, almost Deftones-esque “Scavengers”, and later in the set they’d reveal the impassioned “Summer Set Fire to the Rain”. But the set more prominently served to emphasize lead vocalist Dustin Kensrue’s gruff delivery, on “All the World Is Mad” and “in Exile”, the rhythm section’s propulsive playing buoying his fervency. And how about Teppei Teranishi’s finger tapping on “Black Honey”?!? Thrice often favor the slow build-up, but they offered plenty of individually awesome moments.

Smashing Pumpkins

William Patrick Corgan entered the stage to dramatic strings, dressed in a robe, with white face paint except for red hearts under his eyes. He looked like a ghost. That’s pretty much where the semi-serious theatricality ended. The Smashing Pumpkins’ first Chicago festival headlining set in recent memory was the rawest they’ve sounded in a while, counting when they played an original lineup-only set at the United Center a few years back. It was also the most fun I’ve ever seen Corgan have on stage. Though they certainly selected and debuted from their latest electropop turn Cyr, Corgan, guitarist James Iha, drummer Jimmy Chamberlin, guitarist Jeff Schroeder, and company more notably dug deep into the vault, playing Gish’s “Crush” for the first time since 2008, Adore’s “Shame” for the first time since 2010, and Siamese Dream barnburner “Quiet” for the first time since 1994 (!). Best, every leftfield disco jam like set opener “The Colour Of Love”, “Cyr”, and “Ramona” was quickly followed by something heavy and/or recognizable, Chamberlin’s limber drum solos elevating even latter-day material like “Solara”. At one point, Corgan, a self-described “arty fuck,” admitted that years ago he would have opted for more experimental material, but he knew the crowd wanted to hear classics, the band then delving into a gorgeous acoustic version of “Tonight, Tonight”. And while Kate Bush coverer Meg Myers came out to sing Lost Highway soundtrack industrial ditty “Eye”, it was none other than legendary local shredder Michael Angelo Batio who stole the show, joining for the set closer, a pummeling version of Zeitgeist highlight “United States”. Leaning into the cheese looks good on you, Billy.

The Bronx

Credit to L.A. punk rock band The Bronx, playing early on a decidedly cooler Saturday early afternoon, for making me put in my earplugs outside of the photo pit. Dedicating “Shitty Future” to Fucked Up (who, as we mentioned, had to drop out), the entire band channeled Damian Abraham’s energy on piercing versions of “Heart Attack American” as well as “Superbloom” and “Curb Feelers” from their latest album Bronx VI (Cooking Vinyl). Joby J. Ford and Ken Horne’s guitars stood out, providing choppy rhythms on “Knifeman” and swirling solos on “Six Days A Week”.

Big Freedia

The New Orleans bounce artist has Big Diva Energy, for the most part. After her DJ pumped up the crowd to contemporary Southern rap staple “Ayy Ladies” by Travis Porter, Big Freedia walked out and showed that “BDE”, firing through singles like “Platinum” and “N.O. Bounce” as her on-stage dancers’ moves ranged from delicate to earth-shaking. At this point, Freedia can pretty much do whatever she wants, effortlessly segueing between a cover of Drake’s “Nice For What” to “Strut”, her single with electropop DJ Elohim, to a cover of Beyone’s “Formation”. Of course, the set highlight was when she had volunteers from the crowd come up and shake and twerk--two at a time to keep it COVID-safe--all while egging them on to go harder. Towards the end of the set, after performing the milquetoast “Goin’ Looney” from the even-worse-than-expected Space Jam: A New Legacy soundtrack, she pulled out the beloved “Gin in my System”. “I got that gin in my system,” she sang, the crowd singing back, “Somebody gonna be my victim,” a refrain that compositionally not only leaves plenty of room for the thundering bass but is thematically a statement of total power--over sexism, racism, the patriarchy--even in the face of control-altering substances.

Les Savy Fav

During Les Savy Fav’s set, lead singer Tim Harrington at various points--*big breath*--went into the crowd, deepthroated an audience member’s mohawk spike, found a discarded manikin head with a wig on it, revealed the words “deep” and “dish” painted on his thighs and a drawing of a Red Hot on his back, rode a crowd member like a horse, made a headband out of pink tape, donned ski goggles, surfed on top of a door carried by the crowd, squeezed his belly while the camera was on it to make it look like his belly button was singing, and referred to himself as a “slippery eel.” Indeed, the legend of Les Savy Fav’s live show starts and ends with Harrington’s ridiculous antics, as he’s all but out of breath when actually singing dance-punk classics like “Hold On To Your Genre”, “The Sweat Descends”, and “Rome (Written Upside Down)”. We haven’t heard much in terms of new music from Les Savy Fav in over 10 years--their most recent album was 2010′s Root For Ruin--but I could see them and the extremely Aughts genre in general become staples of Riot Fest as albums like Inches, The Rapture’s Echoes, and !!!’s Louden Up Now reach the 20-year mark. Dynamic vocalists, tight bands, and killer grooves: What’s not to love?

State Champs

This set likely wins the award for “most immediate crowd surfers,” which I guess is to be expected when you begin your set with a classic track 1--album 1 combination. “Elevated” is the State Champs number that will cause passers-by to stop and watch a couple songs, the type of song that can pretty much only open or close a set. And because they opened with it, the crowd immediately ramped up the energy. It’s been three years since the last State Champs full-length, Living Proof, so they were in prime position to play some new songs. As such, they performed their bubblegummy “Outta My Head” and “Just Sound” and faithfully covered Fall Out Boy’s “Chicago Is So Two Years Ago” (releasing a studio version earlier this week). But the tracks from The Finer Things and Around the World and Back were, as usual, the highlights, like “All You Are Is History”, “Remedy”, “Slow Burn”, and set closer “Secrets”. At the end of the day, it didn’t entirely matter: The crowd knew every word of every song.

Bayside

Putting State Champs and Bayside back-to-back on the same stage made an easy decision for the many pop-punk bands at Riot Fest. Bayside’s been at it for twice as long, so the breadth of their setlist across their discography is more variable. Moreover, they’ve thrice revisited their discography with acoustic albums of old songs, so even their staples are subject to change. They provided solid versions of Killing Time standouts “Already Gone” and “Sick, Sick, Sick”, Cult’s “Pigsty”, and older songs like their self-titled’s “Montauk” and Sirens and Condolences’ “Masterpiece”. For “Don’t Call Me Peanut”, though, they brought out--*gasp*--an acoustic guitar! It was a rare moment not just for one of the most popular pop punk sets but the festival in general, a breather before Vacancy shout-along “Mary”.

Rancid

“Rancid has always been anti-fascist and anti-racist,” said Tim Armstrong before the band played “Hooligans”. It was nice to hear an explicit declaration of solidarity from the street punks, reminding the crowd what really matters and why we come together to scream and mosh. The band expectedly favored ...And Out Come The Wolves, playing almost half of it, and they perfectly balanced their harder edges with more celebratory ska songs like “Where I’m Going” from their most recent album Trouble Maker (Hellcat/Epitaph). My two favorite moments? The breezy, keyboard-laden “Fall Back Down” from their supremely underrated 2001 album Indestructable, and when they asked the crowd whether they wanted the set to end with “Time Bomb” or “Ruby Soho”. “We have 4 minutes left, and it’s disrespectful to play over your set time,” said Armstrong. It’s easy to see why Rancid continues to make an impression--instrumental and moral--on touring bands new and old.

Run the Jewels

The brilliant hip hop duo are masters of balancing social consciousness with the desire to fuck shit up for fun. Live, the former tends to come in between-song banter, the latter with their actual charismatic, tit-for-tat performances of the songs. However, Run the Jewels also are probably the clearest live performers in hip hop today, Killer Mike and El-P’s words, hypersexual and woke alike, ringing in the ears of audience members who don’t even know the songs. (Looking around, I could see people smiling and laughing at every dick joke, nodding at each righteous proclamation.) Some of the best songs on their most recent album RTJ4 (Jewel Runners/BMG) are perfect for these multitudes. Hearing both RTJ MCs and the backing track of Pharrell Williams and Zack de la Rocha chanting “Look at all these slave masters posin’ on yo’ dollar” on “JU$T” as the rowdy crowd bounced up and down was the ultimate festival moment. For those who had never seen RTJ, it was clear from the get-go, as Killer Mike and EL-P traded bars on “yankee and the brave (ep. 4)” that they’re a unique hip hop act. For the rest of us, it was clear that Run the Jewels keep getting better.

The Gories

It felt a little weird that legendary Detroit trio The Gories were given the first set of the final day--I’d have thought they’d have more draw than that. No matter what, they provided one of the more satisfying and stylistically varied sets of the festival, showcasing their trademark balance of garage punk and blues. Mick Collins and Dan Kroha’s guitar and vocal harmonies were the perfect jangly balance to Peggy O’Neill’s meat and potatoes drumming on “Sister Ann” and “Charm Bag”, while folks less familiar with The Gories were treated to their fantastic covers of Suicide’s “Ghost Rider” and The Keggs’ “To Find Out”. Smells like time for the first Gories album in 20 years!

FACS

I thought it would be ill-fitting to watch a band like FACS in the hot sun, early in the day. Their monochrome brand of post-punk seems better suited for a dimly lit club. But the hypnotic nature of Brian Case’s swirling guitar and Alianna Kalaba’s slinky bass was oddly perfect in a sweltering, faint-inducing heat. Just when you thought you might fade, squalls of feedback and Noah Leger’s odd time signatures picked you back up. Songs from their new album Present Tense (Trouble In Mind) such as “Strawberry Cough” and “XOUT” were emblematic of this push-pull. And everything from the band’s red, white, and black color palate to their lack of stage banter suggested a cool minimalism that was rare at a festival that tends to book more outwardly emotional bands.

Alex G

On one hand, Alex G’s unique combination of twangy alt country and earnest indie rock makes him an outlier at Riot Fest, or at the very least a mostly Pitchfork/occasional Riot Fest type of booking. On the other hand, like a lot of bands at the festival, he has a rabid fanbase, one that knows his back catalog hits, like “Kute”, “Kicker”, and “Bug”, as much as if not more than hyped Rocket and House of Sugar singles, like “Bobby” and “Gretel”. Backed by a band that knows when to be loose and when to tighten up--and the instrumental chops to do so--Alex G was better than he was a Pitchfork three years ago. He still sings through his teeth, making it especially hard to hear him on louder tunes such as “Brick”. But when the honesty of his vocals combines with the dreamy guitars of “Southern Sky” and circular melodies of “Near”, it’s pure bliss.

HEALTH

The formula for the LA industrial noise band has pretty much always been Jake Duzsik’s soft vocals contrasting John Famiglietti’s screeching bass and pedals and BJ Miller’s mammoth drums. Both in 2018 and Sunday at Riot Fest, the heat affected Famiglietti’s pedals, which were nonetheless obscured by tarp. Or so HEALTH claimed: You wouldn’t know the difference given how much their sound envelops your whole body during one of their live sets. Since their previous appearance at the festival, the prolific band has released two new records on Loma Vista, Vol. 4: Slaves of Fear and collaboration record Disco4: Part 1. Songs from those records occupied half of their excellent set, including battering opener “GOD BOTHERER”, “BODY/PRISON”, and “THE MESSAGE”. It was so wonderfully loud it drowned out K.Flay’s sound check drummer, thank the lord.

Thursday

Last time Thursday played Riot Fest, Geoff Rickly was battling heroin addiction, something he talked about during the band’s triumphant late afternoon set on Sunday. He mentioned the kindness of the late, great Riley Gale of Power Trip in extending a helping hand when he was down and extended his love to anybody in the crowd or even the world at large going through something similar. To say that this set was life-affirming would be an understatement; after 636 days of no shows, Rickly was at his most passionate. He introduced “Signals Over The Air” as a song the band “wrote about men beating up on women in the pit,” that a record exec at the time told them that it wouldn’t age well because he thought--no kidding--sexism would eventually end. Rickly’s voice, suffering from sound issues last time around, simply soared during Full Collapse’s “Cross Out The Eyes”, No Devolucion’s “Fast to the End”, and two inspired covers: Bruce Springsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark” and Texas Is The Reason’s “If It's Here When We Get Back It's Ours”. The latter the band played because TITR guitarist Norman Brannon’s actually on tour with them, though Rickly emphasized the influence the NYC post-hardcore greats had on Thursday when they first started. Never forgetting where they’ve come from, with self-deprecating humor and radical empathy, Thursday are once again a force.

Devo

Much like the B-52′s in 2019, Devo was the set this year of a 70′s/80′s absurd punk band with some radio hits that everybody knows but with a swath of die-hard fans, too. It’s safe to say both groups were satisfied. You walked around the fest all day wondering whether the folks wearing Devo hats were actual fans or doing it for the novelty. By the time the band actually took the stage after a career-spanning video of their many phases, it didn’t really matter, because it was clear the band still had it, Mark and Bob Mothersbaugh and Gerald Casale’s vocals booming throughout a massive crowd. They ripped through “Peek-a-Boo”, “Going Under”, “That’s Good”, “Girl U Want”, and “Whip It”, which caused the fans waiting for Slipknot (and presumably some Devo heads) to form a circle pit. And that was all before the first costume change. Mark passed out hats to the crowd, fully embracing converts who might have only known “Whip It”. The feverish chants of “Uncontrollable Urge” and synth freakouts of “Jocko Homo” whipped everyone into a frenzy. And the band performed the “Freedom Of Choice” theme song for the first time since the early 80′s! I had seen Devo before, opening for Arcade Fire and Dan Deacon at the United Center, but the atmosphere at Riot Fest was more appropriately ludicrous.

Flaming Lips

“The Flaming Lips are the most COVID-safe band in the world,” went the ongoing joke, as throughout the pandemic they’d give audience members bubbles for their bubbles to be able to play shows. The normally goofy and interactive band scaled back for Riot Fest. Before launching into their traditional opener “Race For The Prize”, Wayne Coyne explained that while the band is normally proud of where they come from--Oklahoma City--they’re saddened by the local government’s ignorant pandemic response and wouldn’t risk launching balloons or walking into the crowd because they might be virus spreaders coming from such an under-vaccinated area. To his and the band’s credit, they wore masks during the performance, even when singing; Coyne removed his only when outside of his bubble that had to be deflated and inflated many times and that sometimes muffled his singing voice even more than a mask. Ever the innovative band, they still put on a stellar show. Coyne autotuned his voice on “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1″, making it another instrument filling the song’s glorious pop melodies. Less heavy on props, the band favored a glitchy, psychedelic setlist that alternated between beauty (”Flowers Of Neptune 6″, “Feeling Yourself Disintegrate”, “All We Have Is Now”) and two-drummed cacophony (“Silver Trembling Hands”, “The W.A.N.D.”). They’ll give a proper Lips show soon enough, but in the meantime, it was nice to see them not run through the motions.

Slipknot

Apart from maybe moments of Slayer, I’ve never witnessed a headliner at Riot Fest as heavy as Slipknot was. Even the minor ethereal elements present on their most recent and very good album We Are Not Your Kind, like the chorus of voices during “Unsainted”, were all but abandoned live in favor of straight up brutality. Sure, there were moments of theatricality--Corey Taylor’s menacing laugh on “Disasterpiece” and pyrotechnics in sequence with the instrumentation on “Before I Forget” and “All Out Life”--but for the most part, Slipknot was the ultimate exorcism. Taylor’s new mask, with unnaturally circular eyes, seemed like it came from a particularly uncomfortable skit from I Think You Should Leave. They bashed a baseball bat to a barrel during the pre-encore performance of “Duality”. And the songs played from tape, like the gasping-for-breath “(515)”, were designed to contrast Slipknot’s alien appearance with qualities that were uncannily human. For a band whose performances and instrumental dexterity are otherworldly--who else can pull off tempo changes over a hissing, Aphex Twin-like shuffling electronic beat on “Eyeless”--the pure seething emotion on songs like “Psychosocial” and “Wait and Bleed” shone through. Like Smashing Pumpkins, and like so many other successful Riot Fest headliners, Slipknot abandoned drama for pure, unadulterated dirt.

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thereturnofthedirtyblog · 5 years ago

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We Had Our Own (Unimpressive) “Ghost Adventures” at Zak Bagans’ The Haunted Museum [REVIEW]

Posted on December 6, 2019 | by Veronica Webb via Bleeding Cool

Ghost Adventures‘ is one of the most popular shows on Travel Channel. Spanning 19 seasons and one movie, there seems to be no end for the ghost hunting show. The show’s main antagonist, Zak Bagans, even opened up his own museum off of the Las Vegas Strip. Zak Bagans’ The Haunted Museum had been on my bucket list for a while. A few weeks ago, I finally had time to visit.

Leading up to my visit I was excited. I enjoy Zak’s enthusiasm for the weird and unknown. Ghost Adventures is one of those shows that’s fun to binge on a Saturday night. The museum seemed like something I would enjoy more than most people I know. So on a particularly sunny Wednesday I ventured out to the museum. Parking is a little confusing, but the guys working at the museum were very helpful and friendly. Word of advice, backpacks and camera’s are not allowed in. You’ll line up on the side of the building, where you’ll be asked to fill out a waiver. The waiver contains standard things, such as promising to not sue the museum if you get sick or die. You know, basic stuff.

After waiting outside on the side of the building, you’re then brought to the front of the building. It’s clear whomever designed this line took inspiration from Disneyland. The lines are deceptive. They’re also long. I parked at 1:30 p.m., and made it into the museum at 2:45 p.m. You’re also treated to some spooky music while waiting. Again, the designer must be a Disney fan, because the music was reminiscent of The Haunted Mansion. And once you’re in that Disney Parks mindset, it’s hard to break it. Once inside you’re treated to a creepy, doll filled waiting room. Another 20 minutes will pass until your tour guide appears. They go over the rules of the museum and what you may experience. At the end, they ask everyone to raise their right hand and take a vow that they will follow the rules and what not.

The museum itself is located inside a beautiful 11,000 square foot property, built in 1938. The house is absolutely stunning, and deserves to be appreciated in all of it’s splendor. The first room you enter is a waiting room, filled to the brim with some unique oddities. Such oddities included death masks, skulls, weird animatronics, a Buster Brown poster, and dolls. The centerpiece is a fortune teller machine, modeled after Zak himself. After spending some time in the room, and having a little person dressed like a human doll jump out at you, you’re led into the rest of the house.

Before I go further, let me talk about the positives. The oddities are truly fantastic. Seeing old toys is something I’m a fan of. I also loved the layout of the home. It’s clear the people working here after also passionate about where they work. That can make or break an experience. Visitors can also gaze into the mirror of Bela Lugosi, or they can opt out. The tour guides let you opt out of a few different rooms if the visitor feels inclined. The upstairs of the museum is all circus themed, including a man putting a drill up his nose, and clowns that will jump out at you. The circus itself may be creepy and weird to many, but I don’t associate it with being haunted.

The rest of this article will talk about acts of violence and death, so click out of this article if that doesn’t sit well with you.

Unfortunately, that’s all the good I can say about the museum. There are several rooms where people should absolutely be allowed to opt out of — including a room containing a blood stained bed where men had been raped and murdered (complete with a mannequin in distress). Along the walls are blown up photographs of said victims in various stages of duress. Another room features Jack Kevorkian‘s van where he performed his assisted suicides, complete with another mannequin. There’s a room with photographs and artifacts from various serial killers (including a mugshot of Zak). A dead celebrities room features costumes and clothing, a molar from Patrick Swayze, and a Polaroid showing the bloody corpse of Chris Farley.

By the end of it, I realized the only thing that will “haunt” me is the $44 I wasted – not the museum. Clearly, there are better ways to spend your money. Hardcore fans of Ghost Adventures might get a kick out of this, but if you’re a regular tourist — go somewhere else. There are endless things to do and see in Vegas. Don’t let this museum be one of them.

https://www.bleedingcool.com/2019/12/06/we-had-our-own-unimpressive-ghost-adventures-at-zak-bagans-the-haunted-museum-review/

#HauntedParaClassics

#zakbagans #dirtyblog #submission #zak bagans #ghostadventures #ghost adventures #thedirtyblog #dirty blog #the dirty blog #[email protected]

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years ago

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people change {Vince Neil}

@champagneandspice asked: hey! I adore your writing!!! could u please do a one shot but in the form of an article ? you’d be writing it as if you worked for people magazine or something like that. could u pls write ab the “speculated rumors” ab vince and I dating are true?? u could insert pictures or whatever u like. thank u <3

A/N: 2065 words. I love!! This style!! Of Writing!! also probably not what you were asking for, but i had fun and i hope you do too. i really sort of like this world/reader persona i’ve built?? i even added a few pictures for effect lmao. hope it’s enjoyable. i don’t usually do tags for one-shots but @cosmicsskies and @crazylittlethingcalledobsession asked and im too giddy to refuse.

WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK? - Mötley Crüe singer Vince Neil and Joan Jett & The Blackhearts newest guitarist Y/N Y/L/N spotted getting cosy after Crüe’s Atlanta show last Saturday? Does this hint at a collaboration between two bands, or is this more personal than professional? [Read more on Page 10...]

“What the f*** do you think?”

If you’re a woman working in or around the rock and roll music scene in the past half a decade, you’ve probably heard these words, or some variation of them, if you’ve come within a ten foot radius of the glam metal juggernauts Mötley Crüe; Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Mick Mars, and their blonde, boyish singer Vince Neil. They’re crass by reputation, however this is unsurprisingly true to life, though if you were interested in reading an expose regarding the number of gigs they’ve done while high, or how many hotel rooms they’ve set fire to, there’s innumerable gossip rags and magazines covering those particular scandals, including at least two Rolling Stone articles in the past two years, and we’re not here to retell old stories.

When attending their concert in Atlanta last week, which I highly recommend; if given the opportunity, and you enjoy their music, see Mötley Crüe live, they give an almost unparalleled live performance, in my humble opinion as a music journalist of almost a decade, I was fortunately privy to the moment that sparked debate and controversy within the rock music gossip sphere. After the show, while I was made to wait at the stage door, their manager Doc Mcghee was kind enough to invite me to the afterparty. There, at the stage door, restless fans were held at bay, young men in black leather pants, emulating their idols, young women in barely anything at all, there to catch attention and garner the same invitation that I had received, and when the band themselves appear, it’s as if the gates of Hell had opened; the screaming I heard, ladies and gentleman.

First through the doors is Mars, already looking like he needs a shot or a nap, and he dodges more than one bra thrown his way, giving me a longsuffering look as he passes. To be that exhausted by fame is on a level I can’t even begin to comprehend. He’s on the tour bus which will take us to the hotel bar for drinks almost before anyone else is even out of the building.

Next comes what the fans have affectionately dubbed ‘The Terror Twins’, Sixx and Lee, both carrying a beer each, followed by several very pretty women who head to the bus whilst the musicians take the time to say high to their fans, signing various body parts and generally taking the time to interact with the more hardcore of their following who were waiting in the cold night air. They’re enough of a distraction that one might have missed the final band member, Vince Neil, laying uncharacteristically low, and who had actually been preceded by a surprising figure; Y/N Y/L/N, the most recent addition to Joan Jett & The Blackhearts as their rhythm guitarist.

And this, dear readers, is the moment I decide to write the first gossip piece of my life.

As someone who regularly set fire to the copies of Hollywood Star my then-housemate had been getting delivered to our apartment back when I first began my journalistic career, the idea of writing an article based on speculation about the sexual conduct of celebrities was an idea I rejected out of hand. I’d told myself I had integrity.

But then my proto-punk loving heart betrayed me, as I recalled Y/L/N’s lyrics from my favourite song of her’s, Sucker Punch, ‘speculate / scream my name / my heart, my love, baby it’s a game / they call me heartless, fancy-free / as if anyone’s meant something to a girl like me’. Y/L/N has been credited as the sole writer for the single, under her band at the time, Nuclear Patricide, who had garnered a cult following that has been credited as an idol for Joan Jett herself. After the Nuclear Patricide’s split in early ‘83, it’s been relative radio silence from the writer and lead guitarist until Joan Jett & The Blackhearts announce her as their newest addition, and she’s been with them for almost two years since.

[ID: Stills from Nuclear Patricide’s music video for Sucker Punch, 1980, known for the appearance of then-break out star Jamie Lee-Curtis. Editor’s Note: Y/L/N did not appear in the music video herself.]

So, upon seeing Y/L/N trying to keep a low profile whilst exiting a gig she clearly was not playing at, without any of her own bandmates to keep her company, I must confess I began to wonder, to speculate about the nature of her relationship with Mötley Crüe. She’s adamantly and publicly denounced romantic relationships in her work and in her public appearances up until her split from her original band, so has anything changed in the past few years?

Back at the hotel, I find myself weaving in amongst groupies and fanboys. My dark jeans and leather jacket act as a camouflage in this den of debauchery; I’ve worn professional clothing to this kind of thing before, and it usually doesn’t go over well; if the band sees a reporter there’s a sense of immediate hostility in what’s meant to be a safe space, relatively speaking, however, I’ve found that blending in, and making it clear I’m not on the offensive makes them drop their guard enough that they’ll give an honest interview.

At least until a pretty girl walks past.

Neil and Y/L/N are nowhere to be spotted as I finally take a seat with a table that has neither cocaine nor a woman on it, and once I’ve ordered a drink and looked over my notes, someone actually joins me of their own accord. It’s Tommy Lee, who, to my surprise, recognises me from the last time Crüe had played in town.

He talks about the tour, about how exciting it’s been and how he loves Atlanta, but he’s losing focus very quickly, not surprisingly since his name is being called by other tables every few moments, and there’s a faint dusting of telltale white powder around his nose. He promises ‘see you ‘round’ [sic] and then he’s off again. However, it’s as he leaves that I spot Y/N coming from a room by the back of the bar, and I make my move.

Mars has, as I’ve been told, already retired for the night, Lee is up to his eyes in cocaine, Sixx already has his dick out under his table judging by the look of him, and Neil is surprisingly MIA, so Y/L/N is easy to spot as the odd one out.

Not nearly as f***ed up or strung out as the rest of them, I watch her order a jack and coke, and down the drink mere moments after receiving it, before she turns to me. It takes her barely a second before she correctly identifies me as a reporter. I ask if she remembers meeting me, back in ‘82, she says no, but that she can pick a reporter from a mile away.

People still fawn over her, pretty girls and pretty boys alike, her aloofness drawing them in, and I’d forgotten how overwhelming it was to be this close to her. She kicks a fanboy and a groupie who are messily groping each other out of a booth and we take their seats.

This is meant to be about Mötley Crüe, and I try to tell her as such, but she just gives me a thin smile.

“Then why did you come find me?”

And she gives me that stare, you know, the one from the cover of Nuclear Patricide’s final album, Treason Is A Girl’s Best Friend. It’s that piercing stare of hers that makes you feel like she knows everything you’ve ever done wrong in your life.

I ask about her relationship with Mötley Crüe, and to my relief she looks away.

She’s candid about admitting she’s travelling with them, but not touring, right up until I ask her about her relationship with each member of the band specifically.

“Mick’s fun; he’s very talented and easily riled up. They’re all very talented of course, but Mick’s dynamic, [because] of his age and everything, is interesting within the group [sic] and I enjoy watching it all play out. He’s smacked Tommy a few times.” I’m assured that nine times out of ten he deserved it.

She’s filled with glowing praise for both Sixx and Lee in turn, and even Doc Mcghee, but Neil she is oddly silent about. He’s the first of the band she’d met; he’d seen her play a few times with The Blackhearts and has admitted to enjoying her work in previous interviews when she’s been brought up, as the pair have been spotted together before. Well, she’s been spotted with the band before. Here is where she starts, to my surprise, to get antsy. So the rumours, which I had thought to be incredibly false given her history and general attitude, have more basis than she likes to let on.

And then she gets defensive.

He’s like cocaine; everyone’s doing him, it’s just the industry; no-one’s going to judge her for a fling. She does not appear to take comfort in the sentiment.

“People change.”

I ask her what she means. She refuses to clarify and leaves. Perhaps I pushed too far, but now I feel like a detective, and like I only have one more person I need to talk to. But perhaps I should have eased myself into talking about Y/L/N to Vince himself, but I’ll have to admit, between Y/L/N leaving and finding Neil, I may have done a bit of socialising with Sixx, which I recommend recreationally, and also if you have a high tolerance for most things.

“I don’t think we’re any of your f***ing business.”

Neil does not mess around, and apparently she’d already spoken to him about our earlier meeting. I leave it be, spend the night enjoying the festivities with Sixx and Lee when I can, leaving just before the sun comes up.

Some of you may be thinking this is dissatisfying, that you came into this article wanting me to confirm or dismiss the speculated relationship between Vince Neil and Y/N Y/L/N, but I can’t. Neither of them would speak to me, and I can only leave you with a list of things I saw that night, and you can make up your own mind.

- The room Y/L/N had exited from when I first spotted her is the same room Neil left less than five minutes later as we were talking. I went to investigate later; it’s a supply closet.

- After my encounter with Neil, and I’d stayed clear of them, whenever I would spot either of them, the other was almost always within arm’s reach. Make of that what you will.

- He definitely did a line of coke off her thigh at about three in the morning.

- I asked both Sixx and Lee about it. Lee’s response was ‘loud’ with something akin to a knowing smirk, and Sixx’s was ‘he’s a lucky bastard’ and when I ask him to clarify he just says ‘flexible’ and climbs to the next booth over where they’ve been asking him to do a line; I’m not even sure what to make of it, but personally I think it’s pretty damning.

- Readers, they were all over each other, I apologise for throwing my professionalism out the window for a moment, but if I’m being honest I couldn’t look to a secluded corner of the room without there being a 40% chance of seeing Vince and Y/N. It got worse as the night went on. Believe me.

So, while I don’t believe there is set to be a collaboration between Joan Jett and Mötley Crüe, I do come baring good news for those fans who had been speculating regarding Y/L/N’s relationship with the hair metal band’s lead singer. So are they together? Are they dating? Though neither party will publicly state anything, I’ll leave you with my thoughts, my observations, and the oft spoke words of the man himself;

What the f*** do you think?

#vince neil #vince neil x reader #vince neil imagine #motley crue #the dirt #the dirt imagine #motley crue imagine #nikki sixx #tommy lee #mick mars #the angry lizard writes

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imagineiero · 6 years ago

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Told you they were fucking

PenceyPrep!Frank & Y/N are on tour together. This is your smut warning :)

Touring with Frank had been like a dream so far, it was surreal to think that every night for the last six months had been spent opening up for your favourite band. You’d been a fan of Pencey Prep since their earlier days, sneaking out from your parent’s house and watching them perform at CBGB in New York once a month. You’d met John first, he was a few years older than you but he worked in the record store outside of school hours and you’d admired he and his friends from afar for the last couple of years, you were surprised he knew who you were, he’d seen you play a cover of Boxcar in the school music show during the fall.

He’d slipped you a copy of their EP in the library and you thought it was the coolest thing ever, a real life punk band formed from guys at your own school. He got you on the guest-list for the show that Saturday, lied about your age because his friend was dishing out fake I.D cards - it was that show that changed your life for the better. You watched as Frank, the lead singer thrashed his way around the stage like he owned it - he’d been introduced to you after the show and offered you a smoke, you could probably pinpoint that as the moment your crush on him turned from innocent to hardcore.

Fast-Forward a few years and here you were, a college drop-out living the dream of touring across America. Your band consisted of your best friend Ce’Ce on bass and her older brother Nick who was an animal on drums, it was Pencey Prep’s second tour and you were glad you could all chip in to afford a bigger, more efficient tour van than the rickety one they’d suffered through in the last tour.

It was cosy and intimate, sometimes a little too much when you were all sleep-deprived and grouchy but you made it work, stopping off every few days to sleep in motels and recuperate. Frank had taken quite a shine to you or so it seemed, sometimes you’d catch him watching you while you slept with your head against the window but you never questioned him on it, it felt nice to have someone look at you so affectionately.

After your set the others would head off to the back room to smoke or call their family but you’d stick around side-stage and watch Pencey’s show, you frequently caught Frank’s eye between songs and he’d grin, knowing that you were watching him. You thought your crush was pretty obvious by now but Frank didn’t seem fazed by it so you didn’t hold back, just enjoyed watching your favourite band play and checking Frank out in the process.

John would tease you relentlessly over it and you’d be forced to clamp your hand over his mouth whenever Frank was near because though it was painfully obvious you were hot for him you didn’t exactly want to broadcast it. It was a Friday night in Pittsburgh when things seemed to take a change, you’d been sat on a stack at side stage as Pencey played their encore song. Usually you’d be dancing around and singing the lyrics along with the crowd but your shoulder had been giving you trouble and you ached so badly you couldn’t wait to go back to the motel.

You climbed up onto the stack, your legs hanging over the side while ‘Attention Reader’ finished up. John pulled a face at you as he passed with his bass, laughing as you raised your middle finger and stuck your tongue out. Frank was last off the stage as usual, having thrown his picks into the crowd and high-fived everyone at the barrier - he was surprised to see you still sat out side stage when he came through, usually you followed the band to the back room and waited for him there.

“You okay up there, little one?” he teased, looking up at you

“Your kettle’s black as fuck, short-ass!” you retorted, wincing as you slid down and stood in front of him

“You okay?” he frowned, watching you grimace “Are you hurt?”

“It’s my shoulder” You groaned, rubbing at the ache as you yawned “It’s been hurting for a while, think I just need a good nights sleep”

“Well we’re booked in at the motel across the street for the weekend” Frank explained, hand on your lower back as he guided you through the corridor “We’ll have a break here until we leave for Illinois on Sunday night”

“An actual bed and shower?” You gasp playfully “Fuck, we’re so lucky!”

“Yeah, we are!” He snorted “Even luckier if the hot water works!”

The hot water did work, and you were so fucking thankful as you let it run over your aching body. It was December and the cold had affected your joints more than you’d like to admit but the heat was beginning to improve your condition, it’s only when you stepped out and began to dry off that you realised how bad it was, the knot in your shoulder was stiff and tender, so bad that it hurt as you dressed yourself in your oversized Black Flag shirt.

The knock on the door broke you from your sorry state momentarily, you headed over and greeted Ce’Ce as she stepped into the doorway, asking if you were coming out for drinks with her and the guys. You sighed as you declined, wishing that you could spend the night with your friends but you knew that if you didn’t shift this ache by Monday night you could risk your playability for the show.

You curled up underneath the covers as you listened to the commotion outside, everyone heading out to the local bars noisily and soon it was silence again apart from the faint buzz of the TV in the next room over. You nearly drifted off to sleep, only woken by the light tapping on the door a few minutes later.

“W-Who is it?” You call out, not feeling comfortable enough to answer the door to God-knows who while all of your friends were out in town.

“Open up, it’s Frank” came the voice you’d memorised so well

You yawned as you padded barefoot across the floor, sliding the lock across and letting Frank through the gap before shutting the cold out.

“Nice shirt” Frank raised his eyebrows, trailing his stare down your body and back up again

You burst out laughing as you looked down at yourself, dressed only in a thigh-length shirt over your panties, you’d been to tired to even think about it when you answered the door.

“Sorry” You laugh “Wasn’t expecting company”

“I can see that” Frank winked, biting his lip “So, Ce’Ce said you were too sick to come out?”

“It’s just my shoulder” You waved off dismissively “I’m just worried if I don’t rest it I won’t be able to play the next show”

“It’s that bad?” Frank frowned, leaning against the closed door “How long has it been hurting?”

“A few days” You shrug, wincing at the unexpected shooting pain “I just need sleep or something, I don’t know..”

Frank tuts, reaching out to tug at your shirt “Come on, come sit on the bed”

You follow him over and climb onto the mattress as he kicks his boots off and climbs onto the bed behind you.

“What are you-..” You frown, trying to look around at him

“I’m helping-..” He whispers, settling his legs in a ‘V’ either side of you “Stop turning your neck, it’ll hurt more”

You face forwards, looking at the tattoos visible beneath the rips in his jeans as his hands come out and rest on your shoulders. His thumbs press gently against your skin and you mumble an “ow!” as he pushes on the knot.

“There?” He murmurs, softening his hold and rubbing gently

“Mhm..” You hum, relaxing into his grip - his hands are the right balance of firm and soft, skilfully working their way across your shoulders and down your spine.

“It’s ‘cause you’re so small” He laughs under his breath

“You’re one to talk” You respond, smacking his leg lightly “I’m barely two inches shorter than you”

“I’m serious!” He chuckles “I’ve got a bigger build than you, your body is tiny compared to mine”

“That’s why it hurts?”

“The Les Paul is too heavy for you” He explains, slowly working at the knot until it loosens into nothing “You should consider playing something lighter”

“I could lift weights or something” You think aloud “I’m kind of in love with my guitar”

“Ha, me too” Frank laughs “But I’m a masochist, I’d rather suffer through the pain than swap out my baby for a lighter model”

“It hurts your shoulders too?”

“Mhm.. like a bitch” The knot is all worked out by now but you’re enjoying his touch too much to ask him to stop, a little while longer won’t hurt.

“Well.. if you ever need a massage, you know where to come” You offer, biting your lip nervously

“I’ll keep that in mind, thank you” He says under his breath, moving his hands down your spine slowly and working into every groove “I’m sure this is my shirt..” he laughs quietly

You giggle lightly, wondering how long it had taken him to notice that you’d swiped it from his bag a few months back when you couldn’t find anything to wear “Maybe, Maybe not”

“It so is!” He laughs loudly, sweeping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him to tickle you “Admit it!”

“O-Okay, I give, I-I give!” You squeak in between laughs, laying against his chest - he doesn’t move his hands, instead settles them over your torso when he stops tickling you.

“I knew it!” Frank accuses playfully “That’s my favourite shirt!”

“I’d give it you back, but I’m not wearing anything else” You bite your lip, looking up at him innocently through your eyelashes

“Looks better on you anyway” He says lowly, looking down on you through darkened eyes “Might have to let you steal a few more”

“My shoulder doesn’t hurt any more” You whisper, not wanting to break the silence

“Yeah? Must be my magic hands” Frank grins, moving his thumbs in soft circles

“Are you always so good with your hands?” You bite your lip daringly

“You wanna find out?” He shoots back, raising an eyebrow as his hands creep lower down your abdomen

You turn around in his hold, hovering on your knees as he watches - not making any attempt to move away until you’re barely an inch from his lips, kneeling between his legs.

He smirks before wordlessly leaning in and capturing your lips with his own, his hand coming out to cradle the back of your head as his other hand bunches in the front of your t-shirt and pulls you against him, lowering you both to the bed so you’re leaning on top of him.

It feels surreal to be flat against his body, the rise and fall of his chest moving you as you both work your lips together hungrily. You gasp lightly into his mouth as his hands slide down to rest over your ass, his fingers stroking teasingly over the lace as you push your fingers into his hair, tugging gently as he moans against your lips.

You can’t believe that this is finally happening, you hadn’t imagined in a million years that he’d even consider feeling the same about you but the hardness of his crotch as he bucks his hips up into yours is a tell-tale sign that he’s as into it as you are. You waste no time in grinding yourself down against his arousal, pleased when he kneads his fingers against the flesh of your ass, pulling you down against him as he lifts his hips off the bed to rub himself against you, pulling an uncontrollably loud moan from you.

He flips you over, pressing you into the mattress with his hips as he moves his mouth to your neck - sucking softly at the sensitive skin, using his teeth and making you sigh as he leaves blemishes across your otherwise clear skin. You tug at the hem of his shirt, pleased when he takes the hint and breaks contact to tear it over his head, reattaching his lips to your neck as your hands slide over his shoulders, fingers tracing his tattooed skin as he works his mouth all the way up to your ear, nibbling at the lobe before whispering hotly “It’s about time I got you alone, all those nights of watching me on stage-.. you drive me fucking wild, Y/N”

“Took you long enough-..” You moan as he drags his teeth down your neck “..-was starting to think you weren’t interested”

“Couldn’t exactly jump in your bunk could I?” You feel him grin against your neck “The sounds you’ll be making are all mine, we don’t gotta put on a show for the rest of the guys”

He bunches your t-shirt up under your chin, attaching his lips to your nipple and biting down gently as you arch into his touch. His hand slides down between you both, fingers finding the front panel of your panties and rubbing gently over the lace until your wet heat seeps through to his fingertips.

You tear the shirt over your head as he trails lower, nipping and sucking all the way down your abdomen until his tongue sweeps around your navel and your hips are bucking upwards desperate for more. He looks up at you momentarily as he drags his tongue over the taut skin beneath your waistband, his eyes are dark and wanton - just one look makes you crazy.

He slips his fingers beneath the hem and tugs them down slowly, discarding them to the ground and barely giving you chance to react before he’s pressing his face against your heat and his skilful tongue has located your clit, soft kitten licks getting firmer and firmer until you’re burying your hands in his hair and whimpering as your thighs tremble.

Frank’s hands fit beneath your upper thighs, tugging you in closer and holding you in place as he sucks and flicks his tongue against your sensitive clit. He gives no warning before he sinks two fingers inside you, driving down to the last knuckle as you tighten your grip in his hair.

“Mm.. Frankie-..” You whine loudly, throwing your head back.

He uses his free hand to part your labia and sweep his tongue from your entrance to your throbbing clit, repeatedly rubbing his tongue over your sensitive nerves as you feel the knot in your stomach tighten. He must feel it too, curling his fingers and mouthing at your heat as you unravel, your thighs quivering against the side of his face as your fingers tug his hair.

“O-Oh Frankie-.. O-Oh Fuck yes-..” You cry out, arching your back as your toes curl.

He moans loudly against you, the vibrations radiating through your body as you come down from your high. He rests on his chin just below your navel, biting his lip as he watches you recover - his cheeks are flushed red and lips glistening wet, he looks wrecked and you love it.

“Oh fuck-.. it’s never been that good-..” You gasp out as he chuckles lightly, sure you’ve done things before but you’ve never orgasmed that hard - your entire body is on fire.

“Glad I can read your body so well-..” He hums, kissing his way up your body until he’s dragging his lips against your throat “..-God, I’m gonna have so much fun with you..”

You pull him back slightly so you can press your lips together, sliding your tongue into his mouth and tasting yourself. It’s the right thing to do because instantly he moans, his thumb pressing into your hip as he grinds his jean clad erection against you.

You wrap your legs around his hips as you drag him down, bucking against his weight as he groans wantonly - finally pushing himself up and breaking the kiss to unbuckle his belt, his fingers stumbling as you watch amused.

“I swear-.. I am never wearing a fuckin’ belt again-.. the fuck man, agh!”

“Let me help” You grin, sitting up and deftly unfastening the buckle, moving your fingers to unbutton his jeans and slide down the zipper. He watches with his lower lip rolling between his teeth, his hand resting on the back of your neck as he lets you undress him.

You shove his jeans down to his knees, wasting no time in rubbing both hands over the bulge in his shorts - your thumb stroking over the already wet patch covering the leaking head.

“G-God Y/N-.. don’t tease-..” he whines, squeezing the back of your neck slightly

“Patience, Iero-..” You smirk, batting your eyelashes innocently up at him “..anyone would think you’re getting desperate-..”

“Yeah? That’s what happens when I’m around you-..” he fires back “..-don’t act like you don’t know it”

You don’t answer him, instead using your time to lean forwards and press an open-mouthed kiss to his tented boxers.

“O-Ohhh-..” he sighs, as he flutters his eyes shut “..Come on girl, you’re killing me here-..”

You repeat the movement, this time dragging your tongue across the fabric and wetting the material even further - over and over until it’s clinging to the shape of his dick and he’s whimpering above you.

You surprise him by sliding his underwear down to his knees, glad when he takes the hint and kicks the remainder of his clothes to the ground - allowing you to lower him to the bed and climb over his body, hovering over his fully hard dick - standing at full mast and waiting for attention.

“O-Oh fuck-..” he gulps out as you drag your tongue from base to tip, finally enclosing your lips around the bulbous head and sucking the salty pre-cum until it coats your lips and tongue.

You carefully inch down until he’s nudging against the back of your throat, moaning around your mouthful as you slowly bob your head up and down to build up a rhythm. His hand finds the back of your head, gently encouraging you as he sighs and moans his other hand bunched up in the sheets below him.

Your mouth stretches around his width, the corners seeping saliva and pre-cum as you force him down, your tongue stroking against the underside as your cheeks hollow and throat contracts against the thickness. It doesn’t take long for him to be moaning out your name, the space between his eyebrows creasing as his lips part to resemble an ‘o’ shape.

You press your fingers against his balls, stroking them gently as your other hand drags down over his hip bone, leaving light scratch marks that make his lower half jolt.

“O-Oh fuck-.. You gotta-.. You gotta stop-.. or I’m gonna-..” He breathes out, pulling away as you grin - pleased that you’ve got him all worked up.

“Fuck you’re good at that-..” he murmurs, sitting up and pulling you into his lap - his erection pressed between you both as he reattaches your lips together, sweeping his tongue around your mouth as you cross your arms behind his head.

His strong hands slide up and down your back and sides, resting against your ass as he pulls you closer where you rub against his shaft wantonly making him chuckle under his breath “Hm.. you want something baby?”

“You know I do, stop teasing-..” You groan, repeating the movement until he lifts you up and you hover above him on your knees as he holds himself in place, guiding until his tip slips inside you. You sigh as you lower yourself back into his lap, moaning when he’s all the way in - throbbing hot and heavy against your inner walls.

You rock your hips slowly as he slides his hands over your cheeks, pulling away to spank you lightly before squeezing his fingers into your skin. You tug at his lip, biting down on his lip ring gently as he groans, pulling you down harder on his dick as you start sliding up and down his length.

“So fucking tight baby-..” he sighs, trailing his lips and tongue down your throat, moving one of his hands to cup your breast while you bounce in his lap, pulling you both closer to the edge.

You’ve built up a rhythm by now, slamming up and down as the air gets thick and hot - both of you moaning in sync as he thrusts all the way in. You can feel a second orgasm building as he hits your spot, reaching down between you to stroke yourself through it as you cry out “Harder Frankie-.. O-Oh-..”

“Fuck yeah baby-..” he moans, mouthing against your ribcage as you arch backwards “..-look so fucking good-.. wish you could see yourself-.. a-ah-..”

You’re getting tired by now, your thighs aching in the most delicious way - you wrap your arms around him as he lowers you back onto the bed, climbing between your legs and hooking your ankle over his shoulder as he pushes deeper, doing all the work to push you both closer to climax.

His hips are working double time, thrusting harder and faster into your wet heat as you grip onto his sweat-damp hair, his forehead glistening wet. “Come on baby-.. fuck yeah right there-..”

“Fuck ‘m so close, Y/N” he grunts out, pushing his hand into yours and entwining your fingers, pinning it to the bed as he gets himself over the edge “..-Fuck I’m-…Y-Yeah fuck-.. O-Oh-..”

His eyes squeeze shut as his hips stutter, a choked out moan vibrates against your skin as he pushes his face into your neck, you gasp out your own chorus of moans as he spills over - blacking out momentarily in the excitement of it all.

When you come down from your high he’s already pulled out, half collapsed against your body as he hums tiredly - you stroke your fingertips over the muscles in his back as he kisses your neck all the way up to your ear “You’re amazing, Y/N”

“Not too bad yourself there, Iero” You whisper almost shyly as he brings his face up, brushing your noses together before he kisses you, softer than before

“This isn’t-.. gonna be a one-time thing-.. right?” he murmurs between kisses, reaching up to stroke your hair away from your face “..-’cause I don’t think I could handle that-..”

“You asking me out, Iero?” You bite your lip, eyes sparkling as you look up at him

“I’m asking you to stop sneaking around backstage and just admit you think I’m kinda cute” he teases, laughing when you slap him lightly

“Hm.. I guess you are kinda cute” You reply playfully “Maybe you’re boyfriend material after all”

“Only one way to find out, sweetheart” he grins before pulling you into a soft, slow kiss - letting his tongue explore your mouth like it’s the first time again, his hands roaming your body lovingly as he pulls you tighter against him.

The next morning when you wake up there’s a moment where you think it may have all been a vivid dream, that is until you feel the strong arm wrapped around your body - pulling your back against Frank’s chest as he snores softly against your hair.

It’s four days before anyone else finds out, you’re both enjoying the secrecy of stolen kisses and lingering stares but eventually Frank’s had enough of coaxing you into the closet space at the back of the bus for a moment of your time.

“Oh man, I can’t fuck with this shit any more-..” Frank bursts one day as you’re all watching Hitchcock movies on the bus, you’ve been shooting him sly smirks across the room and biting your lip for the last hour - quite enjoying how crazy it’s driving him.

Everyone turns to look at him, frowning at the sudden explosion in an otherwise silent bus

“Y/N and I are dating, there - I said it-..” he sighs, throwing his hands up and getting to his feet “..-now if anybody wants us we’ll be in my bunk, so think very carefully before you pull back the curtain”

“Frank!” You gasp out a laugh as he tugs your hand and leads you to the back of the bus

The last thing you hear from the group is John’s smug tone as Nick hands him cash “Told you they were fucking”

#frank x reader #smut #pencey prep frank #pencey prep #frank iero fanfiction

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soundsandnoises · 6 years ago

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Slam Dunk Festival 2019: SOUTH, Hatfield Park (26/05/2019)

I was extremely anxious about this one. I was usually going to the one in Midlands, knew the site inside out. Knew how to get to the festival, where to stay, etc. Made it easier to focus on music. This year I worried about so many things, like if I bought right ticket to right Hatfield (can't count the amount of times I actually checked maps, infos and trains, still wasn't enough). I'm not a fan of big train stations and King's Cross ain't a small nor easy for first, second and third timers. It can be quite overwhelming, but what's the fun in it when it's simple, right? Then there was a question of – what gate leads to festival site. Or where to buy a coffee - that one was left unanswered, Sunday morning and relatively small train station (for a change) didn't help.

And then there was... waiting. Before the main gate opens, before the actual festival site opens... Longest three hours full of wondering, while people gathered in a constant flow in space between wristband exchange and gates, green grass was replaced by black blur of people.

But, but... As soon as it opened and I could start realizing my plan: get to the chosen stage, see the first artist, enjoy. I could relax. And that was the leit motiv of this day (maybe except the part where I felt like thirst in Sprite commercial during Busted intense and punk as fuck set when I was fighting for survival, but to be fair, even then I felt so alive and... happy).

I was in for a treat after all and it started perfectly with William Ryan Key opening on Marshall Stage. I would love to hear his material, but I understand his choice to play Yellowcard's songs. Fans surely appreciated the acoustic nostalgia floating through surprisingly sunny morning/midday. There was a bit of a technical hiccup at the beginning, but other than that things ran smoothly.

Milk Teeth took over on the adjacent Dickies Stage. Faster. Louder. Wake up Slam Dunk. Sunny day or not a mix of moody grunge and raw punk energy should do that to you. Make the crowd sit down just to make them ask “Why the fuck are we sitting down?!” seconds later. It's a rock show! But clearly Milk Teeth captivated the audience enough to pull pranks like this.

Hot Milk didn't have easy on The Club Key Stage, 'cause people started to gather for Busted and tent was packed, yet their Left side was in for a fun gig and soon enough young rockers won hearts over with their 'non compromise, everyone's invited attitude'. They were all in, mixing pop, punk and lacing it with electronic samples – nothing better to make you bounce, dance and have a good time.

Quite right warm up for Busted on the Right side of the The Key Club Stage. The tension, the anticipation was hanging thick and heavy over people's heads. The excitement exploded with joyous scream when boys appeared onstage. Boy, I didn't expect the madness. My body wasn't mine for most of the gig, pushed and shoved in random directions as the crowd waved under the tide of moshing, crowdsurfing and bouncing quite randomly. But it was strangely beautiful, the mad joy of people screaming out the lyrics. This was absolutely fabulous surprise act (clearly the cat was out of the bag on Saturday when it turned out that mysterious Y3K was in fact Busted). Slam Dunk did slam.

Then I've had a bit of a change of the scenery with As It Is on the main stage (Monster Energy Stage). I understand the appeal, 'cause it was truly engaging performance. Powerful speeches, truly humble spirit and very positive attitude (they even turned smashing an acoustic guitar into a good deed; after the hardcore version of the song, instead of acoustic one as they teased before guitar was obliterated, Patty [Walters, singer] explained that they'd donate the pieces for a charitable cause). Oh, and show worth a slot at the main stage – emotional, catchy, monumental at times, intimate.

Waterparks brought the green (backdrop, Awsten's hair, security outerwear) and crazy (emanating from both band and extremely devoted fans). Crazy in the best kind of way, the one you lose yourself in the music, the one that makes you happy, the one that courses through every inch of your body. Add funny banters and Awsten's cheeky charisma. The response from green clothed fans was overwhelming to say the least. Strong unison singing every word, mad screams and constant wave of crowdsurfers. What a show.

Simple Plan took over the refreshing and pop rock vibe taking the crowd to the beach and sunny holidays with their beach balls flying over the crowd and summer hits' tunes. Canadian rockers made people jump, yell shamelessly 'dick', sing along. Nostalgic mood mixed with excited screams, they wouldn't be themselves if they didn't joke around (basically rock and comedy show in a price of one). Their youthful approach was and is always something that moves mountains and brings fans to them.

Neck Deep didn't waste a second to establish their rule over the Monster Energy Stage after Simple Plan. Faster, louder, reach to the punk rock roots, start that mosh pit, oh but hold that thought here's Natalia Imbruglia's 'Torn' cover for you, let's feel like it's 90s again and if you don't know it, you lived under a rock. But basically keep the energy flowing, keep it up, keep in coming.

But rock music has so many names, so Hellogoodbye (back in Marshall Stage) was a interesting change of gear, leaning towards indie, electropop and all the weird and beautiful things between them. Oh, how I danced, danced like no one was watching, my face with stupidly wide grin from the sparkling, positive energy I was coated in. Audience was advised to drink pure distilled water, distilled from potatoes (wink, wink). Basically it was a party. Or maybe the party? Well, I was glad I stumbled upon it and stayed.

Touché Amore on Dickies Stage tore the air with growl which seemed to be an appropriate reaction for heavy rain that came down. But their music must have had some magic in it, 'cause soon clouds separated and sun started lurking through them. Or maybe they just had the sunshine with them all this time and brought some from L.A.. Heavy was the music, hardcore stage presence and singer's presence, front barrier seemed to be more appropriate place to scream words than small stage that frankly couldn't contain their energy.

I wasn't even close and I could hear Lights' powerful voice echoing through The Club Key Stage. Tiny figure with flame coloured hair was ruling the stage, voice clear, loud and soulful. Her music taking the best bits from rock, pop and electronic genres was a catchy blend to dance. Her vocals are phenomenal.

One of the band's I was really looking forward to see was Plain White T's (yes, yes, they played 'Hey There Delilah', 'course the did) and I loved every minute of their show [on Marshall Stage]. Indie pop/ indie rock with bits of samples was exactly what I needed, it was my kind of show no matter the time of the day. I could enjoy the music and not worry about being hit by half empty cup with beer (although it was funny to hear the story of crowd starting the biggest moshpit to 'Hey There Delilah', 'cause the band was on stage before Metallica, to be honest it's no the first time when I hear or experience the audience going absolutely bananas to the slowest song, so the story is even funnier), move to the beat. New staff had these nice, not too much electronic touch and was pulsing with energy. But of course the older goodies hit people's hearts harder.

I've managed to catch half of the set of IDKHow on The Key Club Stage Left I'm glad I did, 'cause boys sassiness must be legendary by now. The cheek, the charisma, the silliness acted out with serious faces, the instant bond with adoring crowd makes it all so special. Rhythm section and samples, bit of 80s synth tone, bit of 90s pop and sharp lyrics make their show something to talk about. Just like the acoustic set they played on the top of The Fearless Arms (bar), I'd assume sometime around their time in signing tent and because why not. Got to enjoy that one from the distance, the kind of surprise you could compare to sugar rush every kid gets when eating a candy floss.

From sweet tunes I switched to heavy metal brought by Bullet for My Valentine. Jägermeister Stage's tent was coming off the seams with gathered crowd, when it seemed it was loaded to its ends more people were getting in and immersing in roaring guitars and drums going faster and faster. Crowd gathered there was in for a wild ride.

NOFX headlining on Punk in Drublic Stage and bringing whole bunch of punk rock bands that they’re on tour with) were the living proof that punk's not dead and it's not going anywhere. Talking about snots, cum, walking on the thin line and reigniting the punk rock spirit with each song they were hosting a celebration, party mood was lit up. Punk and ska and a setting sun.

Big surprise, very good surprise was All Time Low's show to me (Monster Energy Stage). There were these jokes, on the borderline of pervert (oh, I've heard so many stories them boys were so inappropriate, but to be fair they never said they were playing songs for children), but the vibe - oh it was magnificent. It was great pop punk, pop rock show and people were literally invited, so it became a dance off onstage. The band was grateful for their fans, entertaining, connecting with their fans and gave fantastic show. Also, brand new song had its debut at Slam Dunk's stage – 'Getaway Green'. What a night.

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elysiumwaits · 5 years ago

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Ely’s Ever-Changing Playlist - Sat. Aug 31st

You can find the playlist on Spotify right here. The Ever-Changing Playlist is best listened to on Shuffle Mode. I plan on updating this playlist every Saturday, and rotating songs out and in with new releases and whatever’s caught my fancy this week.

Feel free to send me music you like, I’m always open to new songs to listen to and I like literally every genre except death metal and polka. (I’m also not a big fan of musical theater, tbh). But like seriously, fuck polka.

This first playlist is a pretty eclectic mix of new releases and not-so-new releases, in a variety of genres. Probably a little heavy on the rock, to be honest, but that’s the mood I’m in this week. You’ll get whiplash, though, ‘cause there’s some good country and pop on here too.

Song list and comments are under the cut!

Scrawny by Wallows - I love self-deprecating but somehow still kind of cocky rock (like Polaroid by Imagine Dragons). They also have that bedroom rock kind of vibe that I love. Plus I love the line “I’m a scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle” and hardcore relate to the line “I say the wrong shit at the right time.”

Wild Roses by Of Monsters and Men - I honestly didn’t know how to feel about the new album for a couple of weeks. They’ve definitely gone for a more pop vibe to their songs - Alligator was catchy but it seems like a lot of the songs on their Fever Dream album just don’t have the same lyrical depth as songs like King and Lionheart or Wolves Without Teeth or Little Talks. It’s a good song - catchy, like I said - but honestly I was hoping for better when I heard a new album was coming out.

Blame It On my Youth by Blink-182 - This may actually be my most highly-anticipated release this year. For one thing, Blame It On My Youth actually sounds like Blink-182, like you could follow it with All the Small Things and there’d be no real musical shift. Which is honestly amazing, considering how much they’ve been through as a band, and of course, the lineup changes. Hoppus still sounds like Hoppus, though, and the music is still that glorious “fuck you, watch this” guitar that kickstarted the whole early 2000s guitar rock (you wouldn’t have FOB without Blink-182, and you can tell in the early FOB albums). I love to see Nine come out on September 20th - Blink-182 is a legendary band in the punk genre and hearing this song felt like coming home. “I was bored to death, so I started a band/ Cut my teeth on the Safety Dance, my attention span never stood a chance.”

Love All Night (Work All Day) by Yola - You know those gentle 70s rock/soul songs? Vaguely influenced by country, definitely influenced by R&B, leave you with a feeling of home and comfort while also kind of inspiring you to go out and work on some social change? It’s definitely got a Memphis rock vibe, but it also really made me want to listen to The Temptations and Creedence Clearwater Revival. The best part about it is that this album came out this year.

Circles by Post Malone - I’m actually a huge Post Malone fan, because I’m a huge Fleetwood Mac fan. You might be wondering how those two things add up. Post Malone cites one of his major influences to be Stevie Nicks, and in fact his vocal (when he sings, instead of rapping) draws a lot from Stevie’s unique vibrato and slurring of the words. Circles captures this beautifully, but if you really want the best that Post Malone has to offer (in the singing department, I’ll fight people over how good Wow. is), you really need to check out his remix and mashup of Fleetwood Mac’s Dreams from his August 26th mixtape. Check it out here. The unfortunate thing is that it can only be found on Youtube or the mixtape app DatPiff.

Drive by The Cars - So this is on the list because Tim McGraw put out a cover, and I usually like Tim McGraw, but Drive is not a song you can make a country cover out of. You can’t do it. Listen to this one instead of the Tim McGraw version, and if you’re really wanting a Tim McGraw fix, Neon Church is good.

Refugee by Melissa Etheridge - Speaking of covers, this is my girl Melissa’s cover of Tom Petty and the Heartbreaker’s Refugee, and frankly, I like it more. She goes hard, is the thing, sings every word like she fuckin’ well means it. That’s the thing about Melissa Etheridge, she is passionate about her music. This cover was released on her greatest hits album in 2005 - fun fact, this album included four new songs total, including I Run for Life, written for others, like Melissa, who have gone through breast cancer. It’s a damn good album, I had to recently buy a new hard copy because I wore the first CD out.

Mornin’s Gonna Come by Brent Cobb - I actually don’t know why this hit the Apple playlists this week, considering it was released on the album Providence Canyon back in 2018. It’s a pretty southern-rock style song, despite the country label, and sounds like a party song right up until you’re listening to the lyrics. Turns out it’s about the fact that everything done in the dark will eventually come to light, whether that’s a hangover or something deeper.

Soon You’ll Get Better by Taylor Swift feat. Dixie Chicks - Okay, listen. I love this song. Hearing Natalie come in on the vocals in the background for the first time since 2006 made me bawl. The Dixie Chicks were the main music of my childhood, I grew up with Wide Open Spaces and Fly. Add in the poignant lyrics about watching someone struggle through illness - Taylor opens up in an article that it’s about her parents’ battles with cancer, but we all take something away from music we listen to and it made me cry because I relate to it from a mental and chronic illness standpoint.

60 & Punk by Death Cab for Cutie - So, Death Cab actually has a new EP coming out and the new single on it Kids in 99 is pretty good, but I’m still stuck on their album Thank You for Today. I don’t know if it was my stint in the Pacific Northwest that kickstarted my Death Cab love, or if I’m just naturally drawn to their music, but I would argue that Thank You for Today may be their best album. 60 & Punk is sad, honestly, about watching your heroes grow old and give into the world around them. But it’s good.

Reaper Man by Mother Mother - Mother Mother is one of my favorite bands, and Reaper Man is right up there in my self-deprecating-but-cocky genre. Released in 2014, and a staple on my playlists since.

Head Above Water by Avril Lavigne feat. Travis Clark (of We The Kings) - Okay, raise your hand if you can still sing Complicated or Sk8er Boi from memory, because I sure as hell can. I can also do Check Yes Juliet from memory, because I grabbed it off the free iTunes download back in the day before it ever blew up - I’m a hipster. Anyway, Avril’s surfaced with a frankly marvelous album about growing up, getting divorced, and dealing with the devastating effects of Lyme disease. This is a bonus single - you can find her solo version on the album also titled Head Above Water.

Hollow by Barns Courtney - There’s really no deep meaning to this one for me, I just really love Barns Courtney and haven’t found something they’ve put out that I didn’t like yet. Catchy and rock and pop, this song makes me want to dance.

Summer Girl by Haim - Everyone I knew back in 2013, in my little pocket of rural America, turned their noses up at Haim. I was like, “Oh my god, they’re amazing!” and my coworkers are like “Why does she sing like that?” It was weird to me because The Wire was named one of the best songs of the year, hit charts all over the place - weird. Anyway, Summer Girl has a super lowkey acoustic vibe, and I love it.

Far From Born Again by Alex Cameron - So Alex Cameron is pretty hit or miss for me - I either hate what he puts out, or I obsess over it. Far From Born Again is an obsess-song, because it’s honest-to-god the best sex worker song I’ve ever heard. Every time a “positive” sex worker song comes out, it’s always something like Porn Star Dancing or Shakin’ Hands or Pay Me. The worker is always over-sexualized and vilified in some way or another, and frankly, it’s exhausting. I like Far From Born Again because it’s super realistic to my experiences - lines like “It ain’t your goddamn business if she does it for pay” and “pays bills while you all still text jerks” and “she’s a woman earning more than a man” - puts the focus where it should be. She’s not some over-sexed nympho doing it for the thrill of it, it’s a job that she’s good at.

Don’t Call It Love by Quiet Riot - So, literally everyone has heard Cum On Feel the Noize or Metal Health. It’s interesting to see Quiet Riot pop on charts again, especially considering that they haven’t had a founding member of the band in the lineup since 2010. That said, the members currently do include Banali and Wright, who were in the band at the height of Quiet Riot’s success in the mid 80s. Current vocals are done by James Durbin, as the vocalist Kevin DuBrow passed in 2007. Quiet Riot as we know it was revived mostly to celebrate the memory of DuBrow, actually, and on the insistence of DuBrow’s mother.

Last Day Under the Sun by Volbeat - I just really fuckin’ love Volbeat. That unique mix of hard rock and rockabilly, mixed with my frankly inappropriate feelings for Michael Poulson’s voice, gets me every time. I was drawn in by Lola Montez and here we are today.

All Apologies - Live & Loud by Nirvana - So this live album was actually released in 2013, and just popped up on my feed because it was just put onto Apple Music, which is where I get all my music from. You can also watch the whole concert for free, which I can’t bring myself to do yet. Nirvana is my favorite band of all time - literally of all time - and All Apologies has the ability to bring me to tears. I actually have “All in All is All We Are” tattooed on my back. Vinyl is coming out, concert is up, go live your grunge baby dreams with me.

Black Hole Sun (Live from The Artists’ Den) by Soundgarden - So this is a recent release of their 2013 Artist’s Den concert. It’s a bittersweet release for the band, who decided earlier this year to disband after the death of Chris Cornell, following their only concert without him. They chose to release the live album because they remember how much fun Chris had that night, according to a Spin article. Of the major original Seattle grunge bands, that means that only a few remain - Alice in Chains lost Layne Staley, Nirvana lost Kurt Cobain, and Soundgarden lost Chris Cornell. Pearl Jam is still going strong, though. (Technically Alice in Chains is still active, but DuVall has nothing on Staley).

Can You Feel It? by White Eskimo - Okay, so following all that rock trivia, I was absolutely floored when I found out that White Eskimo had recent music... because I only know them as the band that Harry Styles was in before One Direction. Anyway, it’s a pretty catchy pop-punk song, I dig it. I love that the first actual info I found about them, with current news, was on the Harry Styles wiki.

Lullaby by Kalie Shorr - Here’s that whiplash again, how about some country? Brand new country, even. I have a bone to pick with country lately about how it all sounds like pop with exaggerated accents and how that pisses me off, but I like the acoustic vibe Kalie Shorr has going on. It’s that good old country song about loving someone you shouldn’t and then letting them go. She honestly reminds me a lot of Sunny Sweeney.

Tennessee Whiskey (Live from City Winery Nashville) by Sara Evans and Olivia Barker - This is a classic country song, written for a half-drunk slow dance with your sweetie at the dive bar (which is honestly the best way to hear it, not gonna lie). The best version is the without a doubt Chris Stapleton’s cover, and this cover is a cover of that cover, but if you want to go back, it was originally recorded by country great David Allan Coe - of “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” fame if you do the bar circuit like I do. It was also recorded by George Jones in the 80s, and then a bunch of other people. There’s a reason Sara Evans is a modern country great.

The Chain (from The Kitchen) by the Highwomen - I got a lot of bones to pick with the Highwomen - I don’t like them and I’m not afraid to say it. I think it comes from the fact that The Highwaymen was created by the pioneers of outlaw country, who were pretty much on the outskirts of country music due to their lifestyles and other factors. The Highwomen have good sound and good writing, but they’re all pretty mainstream, and they should have chosen a different name. Anyway. This is a good country cover.

The Daughters by Little Big Town - I like this song because it tackles a lot of issues still prevalent in societies in country and rural areas, primarily feminism. A lot of people don’t realize that out here in the sticks, the gender norms are alive and well - if you don’t have a kid by 21 and you’re a girl, you’re out of the norm and you’re gonna die alone. You get a lot of women who get married young, then spend their lives cooking and cleaning and never thinking about anything more because this is all they know, this is what their mothers did. The song goes over the delicate balance a woman plays down here - you have to be strong but not too strong, and you have to “know your place.”

The Louvre by Lorde - I wasn’t a fan of Lorde’s second album at first, because I was very much stuck in the sound of the first. It’s growing on me.

Remember the Name by Ed Sheeran, Eminem, and 50 Cent - So I’m a big fan of Ed Sheeran, and my mom loves Eminem and 50 Cent. I like some Eminem, and some 50 Cent, but overall I’m not a fan of rap. What I like about this song is that it sounds like an early Eminem a la “The Real Slim Shady” so it’s catchy and easy for my audio processing issues to follow. I also just dig cocky songs.

20 Something by SZA - I started listening to SZA when my brother sent me the DJ Khaled song Just Us that featured her vocal. I love her voice and lyrics, and also the fact that my little bro relates so much to a lot of her music that it sometimes makes him cry (apparently Just Us made him cry). 20 Something is my favorite off her debut album - I mean, everyone I know is a 20-something right now, and the lyrics hit home.

#ely's ever-changing playlist #spotify #playlist #music

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nextbigaiello · 5 years ago

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Count Floyd...Why Was He Just EVERYWHERE!?

Okay so like I should preface that I have no problem with Count Floyd. On the contrary. I actually love Count Floyd and the fact that SCTV news anchor Floyd Robertson was his alter ego. The two could’ve just been two separate Joe Flaherty characters that had the same name, but they actually went out of their way to make the connection, and I absolutely love that. I already loved Floyd and his clear superiority over Earl Camembert, and adding onto his character with another opposing side really upgraded him to one of my favorite characters in SCTV. Both are hilarious characters. Floyd’s straight and narrow need to mock Earl and just tell the news for the adults while trying to be a recovering alcoholic, and his switch to a goofy and child friendly who knows he’s shelling out shit on Saturday nights make the character more than just one note. It really makes me happy when they acknowledge that both Floyds are the same Floyd in universe. The first time was in the very first edition of Monster Chiller Horror Theatre (from series 1, episode 18), where it was clearly mentioned in the opening credits: "With Floyd Robertson as Count Floyd." During one newscast, Earl gave a heartfelt testimonial to Floyd who had been at Rolling Hills Rehabilitation Center for the past year, mentioning that in addition to his news career, he had delighted children for years as Count Floyd. Another was in the very last edition of SCTV News (from series 6, episode 17), where an obviously inebriated Robertson showed up late to the newscast after a Monster Chiller Horror Theatre taping, still wearing his Count Floyd makeup. During that broadcast, he announced that Monster Chiller Horror Theatre's sound engineer was retiring, thus completely upstaging Camembert's announcement that he was retiring from the newscast; which is my favorite moment of this. Floyd Robertson being Count Floyd was a favorite fun fact of mine. But, the two characters started to separate and one got more attention than the other.

Sure! As is to come with great characters! Count Floyd had a powerful personality that was much stronger than regular Floyd Robertson, who was typically just the straight man to Earl’s antics. It is to be expected that more extravagant and formulaic characters would be more popular and thus be used more often. There’s nothing wrong with this. It just personally saddens me in this particular case because I really liked that Floyd Robertson was Count Floyd and had another side to him that could be let loose, and they just kind of threw that away making me wonder why they would go out of their way to combine the two if one side was going to have more of a separate impact. I don’t know. But don’t think that I hated Count Floyd because of his popularity boost. No no. He was still great; with his werewolf howl that he had and I never noticed as to why a vampire would howl nor seemed to care until Joe Flaherty on a podcast decided to call everyone out for not realizing it and now I feel dumb.....thanks Joe. But Count Floyd and Monster Chiller Horror Theatre was great! But Count Floyd was used A LOT with other projects and I don’t know necessarily why.

In SCTV, it didn’t bother me that Count Floyd became his own entity and focused on Monster Chiller Horror Theatre and being scary more often. But it was when he spun off into other media that I started to wonder....why the hell is Count Floyd in this?

Count Floyd (1982):

youtube

So this is a mini album....a VERY MINI ALBUM. There’s only four songs and they’re all strange. It's basically a comedy album and it sells that really well. I just don’t know exactly why they made it, especially in the height of SCTV. But prominent writers Dick Blasucci, Mike Short, and Paul Flaherty helped write and produce this with Joe, so there was some strength with this. It's just a strange little thing (literally) that kind of just escapes under the radar. If you want to check it out, go ahead. But don’t use it to nod off and get a lot of work done.

“The Weapon”, Rush (1984): https://youtu.be/iTBx0P0zOqA

Now I just stumbled on this today, but I feel like it should have a small mention. It’s not crazy like the other stuff I’ll talk about. In fact, its really cool and dope. It's interesting because this is just after SCTV, and we know Bob and Doug McKenzie were able to have Geddy Lee on their album in ‘81 due to Moranis knowing Lee from school, and we all know just how popular the McKenzies were and still kind of are. But Count Floyd had an opening video for the song “The Weapon” on Rush’s Signals and Grace Under Pressure tours, and it's a nice little fit. They use him well and it looks like everyone had fun.

The Completely Mental Misadventures Of Ed Grimley (1988)/ Cartoon Planet (90s): https://youtu.be/DcNi9qoaKqM

This is an interesting choice. Not a bad choice. Just an interesting one. The Completely Mental Misadventures Of Ed Grimley is really fun and weird and I highly recommend seeing it if you haven’t already. Even for an SCTV fan, it's very weird. Each episode actually pauses and takes time out to dedicate time to Count Floyd, which are live action segments against the cartoon world. It was no longer about scary movies and 3-D glasses, but a show about Count Floyd telling scary stories to an audience of kids who would mock him and tell him he wasn’t scary. But Count Floyd knew that the child friendly content wasn’t scary, and he always tried to make it sound scary so he could get paid.....that’s what his character was. But now he’s almost insulted now, when really the real Floyd could tell those kids to take a flying leap if he could. The reason for Count Floyd being on the show is because its Ed Grimley’s favorite show. Fair enough. I just think this starts a “Count Floyd is really just for kids” idea. Not that we wasn’t supposed to be something kids couldn’t watch, but Count Floyd and especially SCTV was something for all ages, and Count Floyd was meant as kind of a parody of those kinds of child friendly/spooky hosts from the 50s and 70s, so it wasn’t to be too sincere. But this started the trend of child friendly Count Floyd, and it would only go downhill from here.

Cartoon Planet just recycled the segments years later so they could have content. It features the characters from Space Ghost: Coast to Coast in a way that they’re trying to connect the two, but its clunky.

Making Real Funny Home Videos (1990): https://youtu.be/wLCDwrLCOVA

God this fucking thing-SO...I hate this. ‘Why’ is the biggest question I have for this. I don’t know the reasoning for this. All I know is that its dumb Count Floyd camp.

Basically what it is, is a “how to” style video in which Count Floyd....fully as Count Floyd, mugs to the camera for 30min and fails at teaching people how to make America’s Funniest Home Video videos. I’m annoyed by this VHS tape because this completely ruins the Floyd lore and makes Count Floyd this somewhat unstable and sad man. He has a full ass family; in SCTV he was “living with a girl and he wasn’t even married”, but also alluded to having a nephew. He never gets out of the character, and it kind of seems like he just kidnapped this family. Its less charming because this isn’t the same character from SCTV. This is a mad man who thinks he’s a vampire.

Look it isn’t the worst thing ever like I’m making it out to be. Its just character assassination in an extreme sense and its not even that funny. But I would at least check it out once if you want to see a strange little VHS score.

Smoke Detectives with Count Floyd (1990): https://youtu.be/2xb_My1HN6c

-_-

Must Be Santa (1999): https://youtu.be/1uXB9IR9vOw

A Canadian lifetime movie from 1999 has Count Floyd in it for a rough estimate of ten minutes. I also found this today. I skipped through it just so I could see how big a part he plays in the movie, and again....he doesn’t. The reason he’s there is because the main character’s name is Floyd Count, and the North Pole or whatever tries to do research on him because he’s like the new Santa, but Count Floyd shows up on the monitor instead and won’t shut the fuck up. It is a dumb cameo because its probably to be expected that they called the main character Floyd Count just so they could make this joke. But Count Floyd doesn’t do anything except howl and do intros to Monster Chiller Horror Theatre. A small cameo, but a dumb one nonetheless.

“Nightlife”, The Wet Secrets (2014): https://youtu.be/zYV1K3wyCnQ

It took a while, but this is a really good Count Floyd cameo. Well, I shouldn’t say its a Count Floyd cameo, more that its actually a Joe Flaherty cameo in which he plays a vampire. The music video is really cool and I appreciate it on a greater level because it kind of shows the difference between the past and the present and getting older, and how everything sucks, and especially that Joe Flaherty doesn’t need all this youthful shit that we have now. It's a really great video and song, and the end of the video gets me every time!

A Conclusion

Count Floyd is a really great character. I love his howl, his painted on widows peak, and his desire to sell kids cheap 3-D glasses for a stupidly large price. I love the fact that he was this alter ego to his staunch opposite, and the two could coexist together. I’m just annoyed that there were too many changes to cash in on popularity. If Count Floyd and Floyd Robertson were still the same person, Count Floyd wouldn't have been in those kid oriented projects. Because I like to think that Floyd Robertson has dignity (I mean as much as he can being an alcoholic). I like to think that Joe Flaherty is above this, and I think my grievances mostly stem from that.

No one talks about Joe Flaherty in the same sense of every other cast member from SCTV or the Second City stage. Sure hardcore comedy people will regale him as comedy gold, but that’s because he is. But there’s only so much I can take when I can only describe him to people as the dad from Freaks and Geeks and the “Jackass” guy from Happy Gilmore. And I’m not discrediting those roles at all. I love Freaks and Geeks and the part he plays in the show, I just wanted him to do more with that show! And Happy Gilmore is a really good movie and I actually really like that he’s given a somewhat big role in it. Joe Flaherty just flies under the radar for most people and it makes me sad. Especially when a lot of movies he does get to be a part of, they’re usually shit (Dogmatic, A Pig’s Tale, Home On The Range), or no one has ever heard of them or acknowledges him in the small role he plays (Going Berserk, Stripes, Snowboard Academy, Used Cars, Back To The Future Part II, etc..). Sesame Street Presents: Follow That Bird is my favorite movie of all time (sharing the #1 spot with My Blue Heaven) and Joe Flaherty is a big reason as to why that movie is continuously great. I just wish he got more recognition, and had film and tv roles that weren’t so cheap. He’s a comedy icon, and I want him to be treated as such. Count Floyd was a great character for him, but so was Floyd Robertson...and Guy Caballero...and Sammy Maudlin...and Norman Gorman, and Big Jim McBob, and so many others!

In the end, I just want Joe Flaherty and his creations to be cherished fondly. I want the character of Count Floyd to be the same Floyd from the very beginning with no hang ups and children to kick him while he’s down. Because then I know that comedy can still be just as funny throughout the years without aggressive changes that shoots for too low or too general an audience. Everyone can laugh at Count Floyd trying to describe the plot to the lost footage of “Blood Sucking Monkeys From West Mifflin Pennsylvania”, but I can’t say the same for adult child Count Floyd. To take from Guy Caballero and his wheelchair, all Count Floyd needs is some respect.

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httpdabi · 6 years ago

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Don’t Stop

Word Count: 5.5k

Characters: Hyungwon- DJ H.One x OC

Genres: Comedy, romance, smut

Warnings: 18+, public sex, hardcore myb?, half drunk sex (plus the description sucks so badly, but it’s just a smut fic with our precious DJ Hyungwon. Yes I’m obsessed with him)

Maybe if i didn’t drink that night, nothing of it wouldn’t happen. Hyungwon would hype the crowd up with his DJ skills and I would just rest. But of course, my drunk self had to do something that sober me would never do. Not that i regret it ;)

The sun was touching my skin, like I was his favorite person in this whole world. I could feel it so well. Eyes closed, feeling the summer wind, the only pressure I was feeling, were the sunglasses on my nose. Hearing the waves and the ice in my cocktail made me even more relaxed. I felt a hand on my arm, lightly shaking it. Turning my head slowly to the side, I saw G Dragon shaking my arm with worried expression.

Why would he be worried on a such a nice day on the Hawaiian beach, I thought.

The shaking was getting harder and harder. I opened my eyes and saw Hyungwon’s face in front of mine.

,, Stop dreaming, the professor is looking at you’’ Hyungwon hissed. So much about Hawaii and G Dragon.

,, Gosh, you really need to find a boyfriend and stop the G Dragon obsession’’ he said quietly, only for me to hear.

,, Yeah, fuck you’’ I replied rolling my eyes at him. He always had to destroy my dreams, saying how I’m the one in a billion, in the sea of fans. Well, it’s all true, but let me dream.

,, Did you make me a sandwich ?’’ he asked me, since the break was getting closer. Just making sure because last day I forgot to do it. I simply nodded my head, not bothering to answer, too lazy to open my mouth and speak.

His excuse was that he read somewhere how the sandwich is around 80% more tasty when someone else makes it for you. But in fact, he was just lazy to make one. In the morning if the alarm wakes him up, he is just like a zombie. I think he would rather collapse then make one.

When the class was finally over, Hyungwon took his stuff and waited till I place my books in my bag, so he could take it. He always did that, since we were younger. He never let me take my own bag, I found it so adorable, how he would always be the one to take the heavy stuff.

I only took out food and made my way toward the cafeteria, while Hyungwon had to go to toilet first.

Just when I got in, I could head Minhyuk being loud as fuck and others laughing.

,, Ohhh there she comes, without her boyfriends’’ Minhyuk said with a huge grin on his face. I just ignored him and sat down. That topic will always be alive.

,, She lost him in the action’’ Changkyun said and Wonho added how Hyungwon is his boyfriend and gave me the ‘’I’m watching you’’ sign. Of course the would joke around only for a shor time, but it was still irritating hearing about the same shit every day. Sometimes if Hyungwon for example whispered something to me, in front of them, they simply go crazy and mock us for a whole year.

When Hyungwon arrived, he sat beside me and placed my bag under our legs, taking his sandwich and attacking it immediately. He was chewing it lazily and half asleep, trying to ignore others.

,, Are we going out on Saturday ?’’ Wonho asked, also with full mouth of his beloved ramen.

,, On Saturday, I’ll be in Aqua club’’ Hyungwon said. Every time we want to go out, we are orientating on Hyungwon’s work. Since he’s one of the most famous DJ’s in the city, he’s always working in different clubs, of course not only on weekends.

When the summer comes, you can only catch Hyungwon on a daylight, sometimes not even then. It was impressive how people were literally running to the clubs where he was. He could always make such a great atmosphere and such a great party vibe. Plus his music was great, even I had his remixes downloaded on my phone. Honestly, I loved being his best friend, I could hear his songs before everyone else.

,, Are you coming with us?’’ Kihyun asked me curiously. It was a long time since I went out. It was almost the end of the semester and the only thing I did was studying.

,, Yeah, I can come’’ I said. ,, But I’ll bring Lisa with me too’’ I added fast.

,, But don’t wear something too short, Changkyun might get a boner again’’ Jooheon said mocking him and bringing the silly memory back.

,, The only thing he’ll get is a blue eye, if it ever happens again’’ Hyungwon hissed fast giving them a dead glare.

,, THE MIGHTY HULKWON IS BACKKK’’ Minhyuk screamed making everyone mock Hyungwon. It was very rare for him to get mad, but he was actually very protective.

Since it was Friday, the classes were shorter then usually and were able to go home earlier. Others decided to use their free time and go to the Gym, while me and Hyungwon decided to go to his place and watch some movies.

Normally, we would go somewhere, drink coffee or something, but since it was kinda rainy, we didn’t. Others were always accusing me how I’m stealing Hyungwon every Friday from them, but he simply wasn’t interested in working out. He was always a skinny legend indeed.

When we arrived, Hyungwon decided to order some pizza before we started with the movie. He prepared his blankets and found the Incredibles 2 on the internet, while I was making a coffee for us in the Kitchen.

When the pizza arrived, I placed our coffee on the table and made myself comfortable on the armchair, hiding myself with the blanket and taking one piece of pizza. Meanwhile Hyungwon was on the couch, again lazily eating his food and trying to focus on the movie.

After eating his pizza, he immediately fall asleep. He was always like that, all hyped up for the movie and then falls asleep in the middle of it.

Looking at him sleeping so peacefully was literally warming my heart. He looked so beautiful and calm and everything. A person would think that he’s so sensitive and soft, but in reality not even a tank could wake him up.

When the movie ended, I couldn’t really control myself either, I just turned the TV off and curled myself in the armchair and fall asleep.

The week literally drained all the energy out of me. Studying till late at night and waking up early in the morning. I was lacking of sleep. Every morning, I thought I would end up having the Britney Spears phase.

I didn’t even realize how tired I was until I fall asleep, I was so fucking lost. Usually the coffee wakes me up a little bit, but this time, not even a second.

The last thing I remember was falling asleep on the armchair. But when I woke up, I realized that I wasn’t in Hyungwon’s living room anymore. The room was dark and since I just woke up I couldn’t understand where I was or what’s up. When I saw Hyungwon sitting with his earphones on and working on his computer, I realized that I’m in his bedroom.

I immediately calmed down and cuddled myself in his bed. Since I could really feel the material of his covers, I realized that I wasn’t in my clothes anymore. I was in my panties only and his baggy shirt that was oversized for me. Usually I just go to toilet and change, it was the first time he actually took my clothes off.

After few seconds he turned the computer off and placed his earphones on the table. For a second he went out of the room, but immediately came back with two bottles of water.

He took his clothes off, leaving only his boxers on lay beside me. Not knowing that I’m a bit awake, he wrapped his long arms around my waist and kissed the beck of my neck before he just calmed down and fall asleep.

For a second I was a little bit confused because of the kiss. Cuddling and falling asleep like this was normal for us, even tho we were only best friends, but kissing my neck wasn’t something he usually did.

I just pushed my thoughts to the side and enjoyed the warm feeling of his body pressed against mine and his arms around me. Feeling safe, I fall asleep again.

I remember waking up in the middle of the night, his arms still wrapped around me. I pushed myself up, supporting myself with my elbows and took my bra off, throwing it somewhere in the room. The moment I had to get free of his arms, Hyungwon woke up, the whole time I was trying to make myself comfortable, he was just waiting for me to get back.

After I was done, he lay down again, placing his knee between my legs, making me place my leg over him. When I was getting lost again, I felt his arm over me once again, only this time his hand was on my ass.

In the morning when I woke up, his arm was still around me. I got out of the bed quietly, giving my best not to wake him up. But thanks God, he was sleeping like a bear on winter.

Not wanting to wake him up, I slowly found my bra and went out of the room. Firstly I went to toilet to brush my teeth. Usually when you fall asleep at your friends asleep without bringing your stuff, you are kindly fucked up in the morning. If it’s someone else, I would probably just lay down until he or she wakes up.

With Hyungwon it was different, we are at each other’s place so often that we literally are like a married couple, not best friends. He has a toothbrush for me, few woman shower gels and shampoos, shaving razors, hair brush and even some period pads, tampons and painkillers for the bad days.

At my place there were some of his clothes, also items for shower, toothbrush, electric razor and so on. When we go in grocery shopping we always buy each other’s favorite food.

Placing the blanket over my shoulders, I went to the kitchen and prepared the water for coffee. It’s very unusual for us to sleep till late, but guess we got carried away.

When the water was done, I filled my cup with water and milk and let his one stay until he wakes up. I found the Modern Family on his Netflix, took my phone and enjoyed my morning coffee, If I could even call it a morning coffee.

Oh how much I missed it.

After around half hour, Hyungwon woke up, lazily switching his bed with his couch. He was so damn lost, just staring and trying to collect himself. I stood up and finished his coffee and gave it to him. He murmured a small thanks and continued to stare.

But of course, after 10-15 minutes he came to himself and started talking.

Since the weather was really nice, we took our coffees and went out to sit on his balcony. Of course not half naked. He wore his shirt and I was completely covered with his blanket anyway.

,, Are you going to drink tonight ?’’ He asked me, with his morning voice, which was more husky then usual.

,, Yeah, I’ll drink tonight’’ I said calmly, taking a sip of my coffee and enjoying the sun. I was really excited for tonight.

,, You didn’t drink for a long time, so be careful’’ he said worriedly. There was an incident where I literally killed myself with alcohol, I was throwing up all night and in the morning I even had to run out of the subway to throw up. After that Hyungwon is having a nightmares.

He wasn’t wrong tho, but two glasses of wine won’t kill me.

,, Anyway, why didn’t you wake me up last night?’’ I asked him.

,, You were so adorable, like a little puppy trying to fit in that armchair’’ he said with a huge smile formed on his face.

When we were done with coffee, we ate our breakfast and Hyungwon drove me home so I can get ready, because it was getting late.

It was around 5 PM when I arrived home. He told me to wear something normal and hugged me before I left the car.

Getting inside of my apartment I immediately called Lisa to see what’s the plan. Since she lives near the club she said that she’ll just get out before we arrive.

At the end, the plan was that Wonho will pick us all up and we’ll go all together, while Lisa will be waiting on the parking. Of course, Hyungwon will be earlier there, because yeah, work.

Time was literally flying, I just arrived home and I already had to start getting ready. Not knowing what to wear, I was more stressing out then doing something useful. Having something in my mind, but every time I find a shirt and skirt I end up looking like Ugly Step Sister from the movie.

At the end I decided to wear my black skinny dress, choker and instead of standard shoes, I decided to wear high heels.

First, I straightened my hair and then did my make up. Going simply with eyeliner and peachy blush. Of course and others stuff like powder and mascara and so.

I was about to change into my dress but I heard my doorbell ringing. Standing up I hurried to open the door and at my very surprise I found Wonho standing there. He was wearing a black button up shirt with black skinny jeans. His hair was pulled up, which made him even more handsome then usual, if that was even possible. Plus, the shirt was hugging his arms so tightly, making me drool.

This guy was definitely getting laid tonight.

He was talking with Minhyuk on his phone. I could definitely tell it was him. Minhyuk screaming on the phone always sounds like a football commentator.

Wonho hugged me and got in, waving his hands like ‘’ WHY ARENT YOU READY’’. I just rolled my eyes and went in my room to change. Boy, you got earlier and now you stress

I didn’t even took of my shirt and Wonho started knocking on my door.

,, I’m changing don’t get in’’ I screamed and he started yelling, totally pissed off.

,, Can you believe, Minhyuk is planning to bring his cousins with. What does he think that I have a mini bus or something ?’’ he yelled. Angry Wonho was always my favorite thing.

,, Bold of you to assume that Minhyuk thinks’’ I yelled, enough for him to hear me.

,, And why isn’t Shownu replying ? Purpose of a text is to get a reply within minutes . If I wanted to wait I would just write a letter’’ he hissed ,, Wow girl’’ Wonho cut his own words.

,, You look amazing, Hyungwon will kill you’’ he added. I just ignored him and started looking for my bag.

The drive with Wonho was always interesting, gossiping and going crazy at the same time. He would turn the volume up not giving a shit about people looking at us.

,, Oh my god, isn’t that the guy that was hitting you up when you were a kid ?’’ he asked me excitedly, laughing and hitting the steering wheel.

,, Even 7 years old me had standards’’ I said. No hate, but that guy seriously was too much, even now when he’s older.

In short time, everyone was in the car and we were on our way to the club. Of course Minhyuk was alone. I was kinda happy because of that, because he really had annoying cousins, no offense, of course.

When we arrived Lisa was already there, sitting on the bench.

,, This what you’ve been waiting for ?’’ Jooheon screamed when he got out, pointing on himself.

,, You don’t look like Shrek 5 to me ‘’ she simply said, joking around.

We didn’t waste any time, immediately going inside and founding our place. As usual, boys called earlier and made a reservation for the VIP part. They ordered two bottles of Vodka and red bulls.

Hyungwon noticed us and turned his mic before he started yelling ‘’ YOOO YO YO YO ‘’. The guys started fooling around and sending Hyungwon some moves, while Hyungwon was literally making a fool of himself, since most of the eyes were on him. Just as usual.

The music was amazing as always and the Vodka of course too. Kihyun was literally forcing me every five minutes to drink.

So much about two glasses of Wine.

After some time Hyungwon came to us. People throwing themselves on him all the way. Guys wanting to greet him and girls to fuck him.

He greeted everyone, with some people it took him longer since they wanted to talk. When he arrived to our part, he made a votka-bull for himself. I expected him to hug me or something, but the first thing he told me was that we need to talk.

When his drink was ready to go, he grabbed my hand in his and gave me sign that we are leaving before he pulled me with him. Guys started overacting as usual and others were watching. Like I said, all eyes on him.

I could seriously feel the hate and the jealousy. The girls were staring and burning me alive, if they could they would hang me like Jesus, for real.

,, What are you wearing ?’’ He asked me when we got out, his left arm around my waist and his drink in his right one.

,, Why ? Does it look bad ?’’ I asked worriedly. People were still greeting him, but his attention was all mine.

,, You look stunning’’ he said with a small smile formed on his lips. ,,But I told you to wear something normal, didn’t I ?’’ he added, not giving me a chance to thank him.

,, But, this is normal’’ I protested, now being totally clingy.

,, I WANNA GET LAID TONIGHT’’ we herd familiar voice, interrupting Hyungwon who was about to say something to me. Turning around we saw Changkyun and Jooheon coming to us.

,, It’s been a long time since you had some’’ Jooheon said trying to irritate Changkyun and totally succeeding in it.

,, What about you, huh ? The last woman you slept with was made of plastic’’ Changkyun fired back, making us all laugh out loud.

Leaving them both behind, we made our way back. Others were jumping around, drinking, dancing and simply having fun. When Lisa saw me, she stole me from Hyungwon and forced me to dance with her.

Well, not like she had to force me.

,, I would rip my shirt right now, but it’s one of my favorites’’ Wonho yelled, taking one sip of his soda. He was the only one in our squad that wasn’t drinking.

I always loved going on parties where Hyungwon is DJ-ing. You know every fucking song and it simply hits you like a truck, forcing you to drink more.

When Drake’s song Fake Love started playing I almost threw my glass. Minhyuk was also getting into the song, placing his right arm around my shoulders and waving his left arm in the air. We were simply two drunk asses enjoying the song. Probably looking a bit weird, but yeah.

In a second, Minhyuk’s arms were replaced with another pair of arms, wrapped around my waist. I didn’t even have to turn around, I already knew that it was Hyungwon behind me. Only he does that.

We were dancing, following the melody. It was nice to finally lean on someone and rest. The alcohol was getting my ass so much. I wasn’t even dancing anymore, I was just resing in his arms, while he was holding me and moving me altogether with himself.

Not sure if I only imagined it, not sure if it was only alcohol, but I could bet on my life at that moment that I felt his lips on my neck few times. But after all, it was a big possibility that I just drank too much.

,, I gotta go, here is the key if you wanna come up’’ he said before he left. He always did that. When the computer and all what was needed for his work were in separated room, he always gave me a key so I can come up with him. Normally, he shouldn’t do that, but Hyungwon never really gave a fuck. He would always just take one of the copies and give it to me, so when it’s enough for me I would just go to him and rest or wait for him till he’s done, so we can go home together.

I didn’t even wait so much, after around 10-15 minutes, I followed Hyungwon. I wanted to stay a bit more, but Lisa was literally eating Jooheon’s face out and other’s were in their own worlds. Only Minhyuk was paying some attention to me, but I could never keep up with that party beast.

One time I did and I had to go to hospital because I drank too much.

Or maybe it was just an excuse right now, who knows.

Walking in the club was always a nightmare. People pushing you, wet bodies, just no. Talking about others pushing you around, some guys took the dancing too serious and pushed me somehow with his ass, making me almost fall down. On my luck there was some guy who grabbed my arm and helped me get my balance back.

,, Oh heyy sexy, may I get your number ?’’ he asked me, without giving me a second to come to myself. I just tried to push him away, and go to Hyungwon, but of course he didn’t want to give up

,, Hey, I helped you here’’ he said full of himself, before he grabbed my hand again.

,, Thanks for your help superman, now fly away’’ I said now more pissed off, pushing him aways for real, before making my way to Hyungwon.

,, Oh my GOD, I HATE CROWDED PLACES. ‘’ I yelled when I got inside his room, locking the door again and jumping on the couch to rest.

,, I didn’t think that you’ll come here so soon’’ He said, while turning his head a little bit to me. He was in the middle of work, doing some shit with his music which I don’t understand.

,, Ohh yeah, it’s so boring without you there’’ I said as I placed my legs up.

,, You missed me ?’’ he asked me, a sly smile formed on his face.

,, You have no idea’’ I said and closed my eyes. Damn was I drunk. That superman was supposed to be thankful, drunk like this I could easily start a bitch fight. I mean, I wouldn’t regret slamming his face with my heel.

Drunk like that, I started thinking about how many people had sex on this couch. Did they wash it or at lead disinfected it? It’s been a long time since I had a nice sex, after I broke up with my ex, the only guys I had around Hyungwon and others.

I guess I got used to Hyungwon so much, I got used to his boyfriend behavior, to his over protecting side. I simply got used to it.

,, What are you thinking about ?’’ he asked me as he started to jump a bit, making the crowd go wild. He turned his mic and started to hype them all up.

Ehh if you only knew what I’m thinking about.

I don’t know what got into me.

Okay, alcohol for sure

But still

I quietly got on my knees and made my way toward Hyungwon. The place where he stood was visible to the crowd, but the turntable was big enough to hide his lower body.

When I got between his legs, I wished I had a camera, to take a picture of his shocked expression. He turned the mic off and tried too look cool like nothing is happening and not like I was pulling his pants down at the moment.

,, What are you doing ? Stop it!’’ he asked me shocked when I pulled his boxers down. At my very surprise, he was already hard.

,, Why are you already hard ?’’ I laughed a bit, he opened his mouth wanting to say something, to reply and protest but since he felt my mouth around his cock, his words were all lost. His simply closed his eyes and calmed down.

I didn’t want to start with some aggressive moves, I was simply licking his dick and putting only the head in my mouth, from time to time. Wile having his head in my mouth, I used my hands to stroke his cock.

I was sucking his dick up and down, tasting his precum, while Hyungwon was literally fighting with himself.

,, You want me to stop?’’ I asked innocently, looking him straight in the eyes.

,, Don’t stop, don’t stop’’ he said fast, adding a small please before taking his cock in his right hand and placing it in front of my mouth.

I parted my lips away, and he placed the tip of his cock inside my mouth, before his hand found it’s way on the back of my head.

Slowly, he started pushing my head forward, making me choke on his cock. My gag reflex was really horrible, but I didn’t really mind.

I was making noisy, slurping sounds as my mouth was attacking his throbbing dick. He looked a me without any words as my head was going up and down.

,, Now be quiet for a second’’ he said, patting my head slowly. I just nodded my head somehow and Hyungwon turned the mic on, while turning the volume down a bit before he started hyping the crowd up again.

,, HANDS UP’’ he simply screamed and turned the mic off again. His right hand replaced the left one that was on my head and the left one was then up in the air, trying to make it not obvious that someone is between his legs, sucking him off.

He started moving his lips in the beat of the song, it really looked like he was simply dancing, but in reality he was just fucking my face.

I was choking on his dick, saliva coming out of my mouth, mixed with his precum. But Hyungwon enjoyed the deep throating so much, that he had to do it in front of everyone.

In few minutes, he closed his eyes and placed his cock deep inside my mouth, letting all his cum go.

If I wasn’t so drunk, maybe I would be ashamed of him. I mean, he was my best friend after all and we never did something like this. Something that’s more then cuddle. But at that moment, the only thing I wanted to do is swallow his cum.

When he pulled his dick out of my mouth, I started catching my breath and lick the cum that was around my mouth

,, Go to the table NOW’’ he commanded and I simply did as he told me. Without saying anything, Hyungwon just rolled the blinds down.

It took him just a second to jump on me and kiss me. His lips were like heaven, so soft. He kissed me slowly, sucking my lips deeply so I could hear the sound of his kiss he made, he gentle smooch sounds. I moaned as my eyes fell shut. Hyungwon kissed me deeper, twirling his tongue with mine, pressing my breast against his chest.

Hyungwon moved his hands on my ass and he slowly started pushing my dress up.

,, You are so hot, driving me crazy like that’’ he said, his lips on my neck bringing the memory of what happened just tonight.

,, Did you kiss my neck when we were downstairs?’’ I asked, trying to get some air, but instead just moaning.

,, Yes, I couldn’t control myself, I did it yesterday too’’ he said breathless, leaving wet love marks on my neck.

Hyungwon began kissing my lips and then he licked my jaw line, tracing my neck once again, biting on my skin slowly. He sucked my collarbone and then licked on my skin, like he couldn’t get enough.

He grabbed my panties with his right hand and ripped them fast, before he placed me on the table. Hyungwon bended down, letting me all sexually frustrated to wait for him to do something. I could feel his breath down there. He kissed all around my pussy, with his soft beautiful lips.

I moaned with the sudden touch of his lips, he used his hand to open my labia and then he licked it slowly and lazily making my body shiver immediately.

,, Baby, you’re so wet’’ Hyungwon whispered, slowly nibbling on my pussy. I moaned while looking at him, his tongue was doing wonders to me. He began to suck on my clit and my body squirmed with his touch.

,, Hyungwon please’’ I begged him as he licked my pussy lightly.

Hyungwon simply smirked, piercing my vagina with his tongue, his fingers rubbed my clit rapidly, pressing his thumb on my clit. I felt so arousing, he fucked me with his tongue and sucked my pussy hardly, causing me to scream his name.

,, Hyungwon’’ I moaned, my hand grabbing on his head, wanting more.

,, Mhmm?’’ He hummed, still sucking on my clit.

,, I want more’’ I moaned again.

Without saying a word, he just stopped and attacked my lips again making me taste myself. He didn’t waste any time, pulling his pants and boxers down again without breaking the kiss. Hyungwon started rubbing his hard cock into my hole. I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulling him closer to me.

,, Do you want me to fuck you now ?’’ Hyungwon asked me, still rubbing his cock onto my clit.

,, Hyungwon, please’’ I moaned, feeling so damn horny.

Hyungwon smirked, his cock kept pressing my hole which was so damn wet. Without a word he placed the head of his cock into my wanting pussy, inhaling sharply. I felt his cock sank deeper and deeper into my pussy hole as I wrapped my legs around his hips.

We both moaned shamelessly, he grabbed the edges of the table and finally started moving in and out. I hugged him feeling his cock inside me. Hyungwons cock rubbed inside my hole and my pussy walls gripped his cock perfectly.

I moaned loudly while Hyungwon kept thrusting in and out deeper and deeper.

,, You are so hard’’ Hyungwon groaned as he thrusted in me hard, making me moan lodly when his cock hit me deeper.

He thrusted his cock harder and harder, searching for my G spot. From hard and fast his moves got slower, a little bit slower to feel my pussy walls.

He placed his lips on my neck and started moving on abnormal speed, making me close my eyes and throw my head back. He found my g spot and damn was that a great feeling.

Hyungwon was hitting the same spot inside me, making me scream with every move. His moves got slower but harder and I could feel his precum again in my hole.

My pussy walls tightened around his cock, which he probably felt because he started to fuck me faster again, helping me reach my limits.

I screamed out his name, reaching my climax with the powerful orgasm that hit me. My body was like flying in heaven, with pure ecstasy. Hyungwon’s moves good hard and deep, he didn’t move fast, but his moves were sharp.

,, I’m cumming inside you’’ He simply said and with few more moves I felt his cum inside my hole. He collapsed over me on the table. His breathing was heavy and his forehead was sweaty, while the room smelled on sex.

,, I dreamt about this every fucking night’’ he said as he kissed me.

,, Why didn’t you tell me?’’ I asked, still being locked under his body.

,, Because I thought that you know. I mean I always cuddle you and we always act like a coupy’’ he said rubbing his nose with mine and placing a small kiss on it.

,, I didn’t know’’ I said. If I knew, things would be different, like he said we were already like a couple-

,, Now you do’’ he said as he smiled, connecting his lips with mine one more time.

Boys will go crazy when they find out.

My apologies if there are some errors, it’s too late for me to fix the mistakes.

hope you enjoyed it

Drop some feedback in my ask box, or let’s just talk, I’m bored 24/7

much love