#i feel like after yesterday i should feel motivated

[gem-de-lune]

Daily Vibe Check 11/12

Seunghan

5 of Chalices + 3 of Swords + 3 of Wands + 3 of Chalices + 8 of Wands

There is a heavy emphasis on paper/mail/notices. He is waiting on something, such as a notice or news. We know that he has been waiting for quite some time now. Due to the lack of answers, he was able to really focus on being okay with that. But now I think since yesterday the anticipation after being fed a literal pea sized amount of not even good news but the THOUGHT of good news, has him dizzy with anxiety. He wants to be able to celebrate with his members and wants to quickly have this situation come to an end so they can move forward. His patience is being worn thin, waiting for a final firm answer, rather than feeling consoled. He feels desperate for everything to end and be okay. He wants things to speed up; he is doing his best to proactively make it happen, but it is exhausting. he is really tired lately.

What is primarily on his mind?

10 of Swords

This is about rebirth from a terrible soul crushing situation. Just like above being how he feels. He cannot get his mind off of this situation ending so he can start anew and be vetter than before. He is really hyperfixating on resolution.

Bottom of the deck:

2 of Pentacles

The overall energy he exudes today is very forward, somewhat controlled but intentional. He is desperately whipping something up and hoping it's the correct steps to take on the matter. But he is overwhelmed at all the other possibilities and what-ifs. He should seek balance today by mellowing out and relaxing, but he may struggle to do that.

Final Notes:

He is just anxious today. I know many of you read these for emotional support and motivation, but if you can, at some point during your day, just close your eyes and breathe deeply. Think about Seunghan positively and let him know that you are there for him. Energy is all around us, and if many of you do this, he will surely feel it on a subconsious level. Please send him those positive vibes today. He needs a hug.

He is still waiting for an answer, just like all of us. He wants all of it to end just like all of us. Please continue fighting for him!

[kaiyunsim]

In between sets —

pairing : idol!anton x male!reader

summary : after recently coming back to the gym, you are a bit rusty and forget what to do. luckily, the only other person who goes is willing to help.

warnings : SMUT!! (dni minors), unprotected sex, kinda dacryphillia, sex in a public setting, sex while hiding, (provably more but idk, pls lmk if i should add more)

a/n : THESE ANTON PHOTOS GOT ME FEELING REALLY H***Y !!! also first smut so lmk how it is and maybe i’ll do more

— (w/c : 2.7k) — not proof read — minors dni —

anton had a routine. 3-4 times a week. early mornings before practice. sometimes he would have a gym buddy which was normally sungchan, wonbin, or eunseok but this time he decided to go solo.

he always has airpods in, keeping his mind in check by playing some music. he a was used to seeing the usuals, especially since the gym is almost always empty in the early mornings but was somewhat surprised to see someone new, someone he hasn’t seen before.

the newbie seemed to be fumbling their way through the weights section, looking moody along the rows of equipment. anton couldn’t help but notice him, it was quite a cute sight to see. they weren’t decked out in typical gymwear, instead, opting for a loose hoodie and sweats. their hair was slightly disheveled, looking as if they didn’t intend on coming today but decided to give it a try anyway.

by the end of his set, anton glanced over and noticed they were staring over at a dumbbell with what seemed like frustration or confusion. it was almost endearing. with a smirk, anton walks over.

“hey,” anton starts, pulling out one of his airpods. “you new here?”

you blink to look up to him, somewhat startled, you didn’t really notice him, “uh, yeah. just…trying to get back into shape,” you say, scratching the back of your head with a shy grin. “i’m y/n”

“oh, um… i think so. i used to work out, like, two years ago? but i kind of forgot what i was doing.” you laugh, clearly a little embarrassed, and anton found himself chuckling too.

“don’t worry about it,” anton said, leaning in a little closer. “why don’t we start with something simple? i’ll spot you.”

they moved to the bench press, anton demonstrating the proper grip and form as you listened intently. anton couldn't help but notice the way your eyes lingered, just a little too long, whenever he showed you a move. you would look and keep eye contact but it would wander to view the visible muscles you can see on anton’s arms. every time he reached in to help adjust your grip or stance, he noticed a brief flicker in your gaze, almost like he was wondering if the proximity was intentional. anton found himself leaning in just a touch closer each time.

as they finished up, anton noticed that you seemed more relaxed, even playful. you lightly punched anton's shoulder as they headed to the water fountain, giving him a grin. “thanks, man. i feel like i’m getting my gym routine back”

“no problem,” anton replied, feeling a heat rise as your eyes met his, this time lingering. "you know, i don’t mind helping out… if you need someone to keep you motivated.”

you pause, then smile, his eyes narrowing slightly with a glint of interest. you found anton attractive, plus it was a gym buddy that could help you get in shape, “how about tomorrow, same time?”

“deal.” anton’s heart raced as they exchanged numbers, both a little reluctant to say goodbye.

╴╴╴╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴

the next morning, anton is already warmed up and stretching, tired due to having practices after his session yesterday, when he spots a familiar face coming in. today, your hoodie is swapped for a fitted t-shirt, showing more of your lean frame. anton can’t help but notice, a small blush playing on his face along with a smirk. you seems a little more confident, giving anton a nod and a smile as he heads over.

there was a change of focus today, instead of looking to work on arms, it was a day for the legs. anton guided you to the part where you squat with weights to improve your legs. trying nudge you to push yourself, anton adds more weights than you normally do so that he can spot you but as he does so you notice his eyes wandering up and down, smirk and all.

as they go through their workout, the tension between them feels more palpable than ever. you guys are talking and joking, but the physical closeness during spotting, the occasional brush of hands, and lingering eye contact hint at something more.

anton was almost certain you were flexing your muscles a bit when you caught anton watching, and anton found himself lingering longer than he usually would when spotting him.

after a few exercises, they move to the bench press again. you lay down, and anton stepped into position to spot him, standing right above him. their eyes met, and for a second, neither of them said anything. your eyes wander to his lower half before looking away and coughing hoping he didn’t notice. you start breathing a little heavier than you should have been, your gaze locked on anton’s, and the air felt thick.

anton finally broke the silence, his voice low. “you’ve got this. focus on your breathing.”

but you weren’t focused on your breathing. you barely even heard the words as anton leaned closer, hands hovering over yours, fingers just inches from touching. you could feel the heat radiating from him, and you couldn’t resist any longer. as you sit up after his last rep, you decide to stay close, closer than necessary, your knee brushing against anton’s leg.

finally, as they’re finishing up, they take a moment to rest on one of the benches near the locker rooms. you lean back, catching your breath, and give anton a sly look.

“you make this a lot more fun than i expected,” you say, your eyes glinting. “not sure i’d be so motivated without you.”

anton chuckles, feeling bold. “maybe we should work on some, uh, cool-down stretches together,” he suggests, half-joking but hoping his fellow gym goer catches the hint.

“maybe i should… uh, grab a shower after this,” you say, his voice barely a whisper. “you wanna join me?” you joke playfully.

anton didn’t hesitate. he made his way to the locker room, the silence charged with anticipation. the sound of water echoed through the empty space as he stripped off his sweaty top.

you immediately blush, and he could see your reaction. now you remain at a loss of words at the sight of anton’s body. fuck… it wasn’t the most built but he had some meat and muscle. “a-anton… i was joking” you try clear up, trying to drag him out of the locker rooms.

“well, i’m going to pretend that you weren’t” anton says, almost with a different, more teasing, energy. he tries to close the gap between them, enjoying the squirming you do when he does so.

he pushed you down on to a bench, “you don’t think i never saw you staring right?” he said playfully. his arms placed on both of your shoulders keeping you still.

your eyes widen, feeling the weight of anton makes you squirm slightly. you remain quiet, not able to form a sentence coherently in the current situation you are in.

anton kept that sly ass smirk, “why don’t you take this off?” he teases, playing with the hem of your shirt.

he was really pushing your buttons now. but you know that there was no one else in the gym because it was so early so…

fuck it.

(smut starts here)

you knew what anton was implying so you decided to catch him off guard and make the first move. you quickly close the gap between the two of you, lips colliding. your lips parted along with antons, and like that, the tension finally snaps.

their kiss was slow at first, you wanted it to be careful of course, but anton quickly takes control and it becomes more intense, fuled with the excitement building up throughout the days.

your hands find themselves on anton’s chest, fingers tracing the ridges and lines of his muscles, long with squeezing his pecs, feeling it out, almost as if you are trying to memorize them. anton’s hands find their way down to your waist, enjoying how their bodies fit perfectly.

you break the kiss to catch your breath, looking rugged and already worked up. anton sees you like this and brings back the smug smirk, with a hint of desire behind it, “you look so fucking cute right now,” he says, ruffling you rough hair while staring into your half-lidded eyes.

your usual shyness was softened by the confidence that had come from finally breaking the tension, you resch up, hand sliding to the back oh anton’s neck, and pulls him in for another kiss, slower this time to savor the moment.

anton’s hands move from over the fabric, to the shin of your waist, show removing your shirt to see your body for himself. “yknow,” anton says, running a finger along your jawline, “i don’t normally do this with gym buddies”

you undo the belt buckle to signal that your waiting for from anton, “nice to know im special” you let his pants drop seeing a bulge in his underwear. “someone wants to say hello,” kai says playfully.

anton’s smirk looks like it’s derived from something primal, “in the gym space? you’re something else” he says, giving a quick search of anyone else before pulling out his cock.

it was something else, nothing too big, but something that definitly match his body. you guys switch positions, anton sitting on the bench and you on the floor on your knees, appreciating the sight in front of you. your gaze didn’t last too long as you quickly took the head in.

his legs spread further, giving you easier access to what you want. “god… fuck…” it’s been forever since anton was able to do something like this as he is an idol. but since it was at a time where no one was around it was almost perfect for anton.

you take it deeper and deeper, bobbing up and down, keeping a steady, not so fast, pace before you feel a force from the back of your head. it was anton’s hand, pushing down further and faster. you start to gag, it was too much for you, but anton liked that. some tears started to stream and everything was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen

“yeah, you like that?” he says with a smirk, lifting his hand from you neck to let you catch your breath. you soon pop off your motch fron his dick, heavily breathing as your vision started to get blurry.

without letting you recover, anton picks you up and places you on the bench, stripping your bottom half while doing so. now that both of you are without clothes, anton can give you some attention.

his hand runs along your thighs, eventually reaching your shaft, nice and hard. “mind if i play with this?” he asks. you give him a nod, still catching your breath.

he takes it and starts stroking it, making you react with whimpering and squirming. it was the feeling of recovery and that sumg ass smirk he kept on his face as he looks you down as he strokes you.

some moans started to leave your mouth as he stroked faster and faster, “a-anton�� t-thats too much…”

“c’mon, you dont have to call me anton, what about toni? my friends call me that sometimes,” he teases you verbally, while also teasing you physically, slowing his pace on your shaft.

“t-toni…” you whimper, “i think we shouldn-“ you say before you get cut off by anton’s sneaky lips.

“that’s enough,” he says, letting go of your shaft, making you needy as he leaves you with no stimulation. you sit there, looking like an absolute mess on one of the workout benches and anton takes a step back to admire how you look.

he then spreads your legs which makes you react with surprise, “w-wait,” you retort but before you could say anymore you feel antons cock enter you.

you thought he would start off slow but it was the opposite, thrusting into you with what seemed like no other thoughts. it was probably because of how you looked like how messed up he made you already.

it was so big inside you, hitting your prostate everytime, making you a moaning mess. it was good, making your eyes roll up and back arch for better angles.

he enjoyed the warmth inside you, after being a trainee he hasn’t been able to have anything like this so his body reactes well to your warmth and tightness.

though you guys were making lots of noise you were able to hear the chime that happens when the front door opens. panicked, anton picks you up,dick still in you, and brings you to the shower room.

you’re able to hear a voice, “anton are you here? manager’s looking for you,” you arent able to distingust the voice but anton can, it was eunseok, one of his hyungs he goes to the gym with.

anton likes the sense of thrill that comes from the situation happening right now, he puts you on a shelf and smirks, hoping you get the message with whats going to happen.

he turns on the shower to cause some noise in the bathroom before starting to thrust into you again, softer this time but more calculated to a reaction from you. and it definitely did. you closed your eyes, trying to focus on the sensation. you opened your mouth to make a noise but anton covered it with his hand, “can’t have the other person know what’s happening can we?” he whispers playfully. he liked seeing you like this, recuded to a mes because of him, yet not able to express it.

“yeah eunseok, i’m just showering,” he replied, sounding normal. in reality he looked as rough and sweatt as ever.

“well, hurry up, you have an early schedule today” eunseok reminded before the same chime played, indicating he left.

anton finally lets go of your mouth, letting your whimpers and moans out only to be silenced again by his mouth meeting yours.

“god damn, just hearing you makes me wanna cum,” anton groans, head tilting back.

“y-you should…” you manage to get out between the noises he makes you make.

just by hearing that anton’s pace quickens, “fuck, you asked for it,” he says, riding his climax out, letting his fluids leak into you. he knows you’re close but haven’t came yet so he tries to put all his attention to you.

anton keeps his semi hard cock in you, slow pace just to let you enjoy, practiaclly for cockwarming. he knows you can’t cum with just him moving slowly so he grasps your shaft and starts stroking it while also putting attention to your nipples with his mouth.

anton takes his mouth off for a moment “you like that? my cock in you while you’re a moaning mess?” anton teases,

if your were moaning before, you’re fucking crying from pleasure now. it was so much happening and anton knew what he was doing to you.

he takes your hand and places it in his own pecs and lets your feel him out. as you feel everything happen all at the same time it’s only inevitable that you would reach your climax.

“toni..!” you moan the other man’s name loudly, “i-i’m gonna cum!” you scream.

you feel a large sense of euphoria while white stings of cum come out of your cock, landing on anton’s and your chest and abs. anton finally takes out his cock from your ass.

“f-fuck,” you say, recovering from the high dooamine sensation.

“let’s get you cleaned up,” he says as you both clean up from the sensual encounter you guys had. anton lets you shower but he doesn’t because he’s in a hurry as eubseok was waiting for him.

you guys both leave the locker room and you finally get to see the face of the mysterious voice. you bow to eunseok before saying bye to anton.

“why are your workout clothes on the bench?” eunseok questions while they both exit.

“oh erm,” anton stutters, trying to come up with an excuse, “i was just really sweaty,” he replies, obviously lying

“and why is your hair dry? i thought you just showered?” eunseok questioned further,

and just like that, anton knew he was fucked.

[1980ssunflower]

aouh

[newlacesleeves]

trying to figure out why i'm this weird mixture of restless and exhausted and then i realized it's monday and i don't run on mondays

[haljathefangirlcat]

#writing fic isn't a job and comments aren't a salary #and if it starts to feel that way then you might be experiencing burnout #and it could be time for a rest - or to think about one anyway #I obviously don't know your situation #but that's what it was for me

I'm going to start this post off by saying that I write fic, and I know the pain of putting something out there and not getting a response. It sucks and it hurts and it puts a dent in my self-confidence. If I have the choice between posting a work on AO3 and getting only comments or posting a work on AO3 and getting only kudos, I'll probably choose comments let's say 8 times out of 10.

But with that in mind, posts that attempt to shame or guilt readers into commenting don't actually work.

Negative reinforcement (in the form of shame, guilt, or other worse emotions) doesn't make anyone want to do the thing. It just makes them want to avoid the guilt, etc. Rather than encouraging someone to talk to you about your writing, you're making that person want to avoid you so that they don't have to feel bad. That's just human nature.

I've said before that I think a lot of writers are looking for community rather than comments, and I still think that's true. The reason I love both writing and receiving comments is because it makes me feel like I've made a connection with someone. I may never know their real name or what they look like or where they live or anything else but what fandom we have in common, but we've reached out to each other in this text-based medium and we've shared words that made each other feel something.

I know that these posts are written out of frustration or loneliness or needing support or a hundred other reasons I could list off the top of my head. But when I read "you should be grateful for the things I give you and show me proper appreciation" it just reminds me of my parents telling me to clean my room or to follow the rules while I live under their roof.

It's so much more vulnerable to admit, "I don't know if this story is any good and I really wish someone would reassure me right now."

It's much harder to say, "I feel so alone in this fandom, and I want to make friends with someone."

It's difficult to admit, "I worked so hard on this for so long and I'm so tired, but if someone out there likes it then all of that effort will be worthwhile - and if no one says anything, then I'll feel like my effort was wasted."

I'm not trying to shame the people who made those posts, and if that's how this comes across then I'm sorry. I'm just trying to explain why I think those posts will harm more than they help.

I also hope that any readers who see this post will understand that those writers are just people who are feeling a lot of different ways, and they're venting their frustrations. I've been there. I've reblogged those posts before when I was feeling frustrated like that too.

If you're able to comment, those comments are appreciated. If you're not able to comment (for whatever reason), that's okay too. ❤️

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Lando Norris and [Y/n] [Y/l/n]'s rivalry takes a different turn in Miami

yourusername THANK YOU TO MY TEAM, ALL THE REDBULL FANS AND MY TEAMMATE MAX (sorry to beat ur ass lol) MY FIRST VICTORY IN FORMULA 1 I LOVE YOU GUYS

view all comments

username1 Chill girlie, it's just a sprint race win

username2 And people were shitting on Redbull for dropping Checo for a rookie 😭 you showed them, been on the podium almost every weekend and got the first win so quick

carlossainz55 Congrats 👏 🥇

↳yourusername THANK YOU 💪

↳username3 Carlos and Y/n are literally the only drivers who managed to beat Max this season and may I add she's a rookie

username4 Redbull knew what they were doing

redbullracing Our golden girl🏆

↳yourusername 💙💙

maxverstappen1 It was my pleasure to see you win💪

↳yourusername Get ready to see it more often

username5 I wonder how Lando feels knowing that a girl rookie got a win before him

↳username6 same thing happened last year when Oscar won sprint 😭 guess he won't do anything about it

↳username4 He's crying probably lmao

username7 📞God's calling he says we should have more girls in Formula 1

charles_leclerc A victory in your rookie year is always special🥳🥳

↳yourusername I love it 😭

oscarpiastri Party when?

↳yourusername After I win the race tomorrow 😇 unless you can tell Lando to get his shit together and try to beat me

username5 I love the fact that Y/n and Oscar are friends, Oscar is friends with Lando, and for some reason Y/n and Lando seem to hate each other

username8 I've heard there's some story behind the whole Y/n Lando thing 😭

username6 WHAAAAAT?

username8 So apparently when they were kids, like 15 or smth, one of them had a crush on the other one, but it didn't work out hence enemies now

username6 I'll assume Lando had a crush on Y/n cuz there's no way one could have a crush on a 15yo Lando Norris lmao

username9 And here I was thinking Y/n was just angry about how Lando almost crashed into her a few races ago

username10 sameeee lmao it was so funny to see them argue in the paddock

username9 Yeah and seeing them the weekends after this incident I was like miss girl just likes to hold grudges over things that happen in F1 from time to time lmao

landonorris WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. PT 1🏆

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oscarpiastri Well done man 👏👏👏

alex_albon Congrats!!! 💪👏

georgerussell63 Congrats mate!!!

username1 All I know is he read the comments under Y/n's post 😭

username2 Y/n's victory pissed him too much lmao

yourusername I guess it's not too much for the little Lando Norris anymore

↳landonorris he's not so little anymore

yourusername Shame I wasn't on the podium with you tho

landonorris do better next time then lol

username3 LANDO HAHAHAAH

username4 His villain era starts

yourusername Anyway I'm glad to be your motivation

username5 No cuz I'd also love to see Y/n and Lando on the podium together

↳username6 Y'all talk about the podium together but I'd love to see them in the cool down room together lmao

username5 That'd be gold man, I'd pay millions to be a fly in the room if it ever happened

username7 @/yourusername stop pretending you're not in love with Lando

username7 Actually guys stop pretending you're not in love with each other @/yourusername @/landonorris

↳username8 THIS FEELS SO PERSONAL LMAO

username1 I love a good enemies to lovers story

username2 ARE THEY OKAY?

username3 I saw a video of Max being at the party so I assumed Y/n was there also BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED

username4 Nah cuz why's the kiss so passionate 😭

username5 girl is living the Wattpad life

username6 now she isn't rejecting him 👀

↳username7 you mean HE isn't rejecting HER now

username8 Do you know something we don't? 🤨

username7 actually yes, Max as in Lando's Max (not Y/n's Max) went live on Twitch yesterday and he said something along the lines of young Lando rejecting young Y/n

username8 Nahhhh this is even better now

username9 I just know that other drivers will make fun of them after this

username10 I wonder how will they act now? Will they pretend the video doesn't exist?

↳username11 I feel like nothing will change, same hatred, same rivalry (even more now after both of their wins)

username12 I assume it was just a moment of weakness induced by the emotions

username11 And alcohol

username13 there's no way it didn't end in the hotel bed lol

username14 I'm tired of pretending I wasn't waiting for this to happen

username15 it feels like a fever dream lmao

yourusername We deserved a New York trip after the victories

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oscarpiastri This doesn't feel real

↳username1 exactly my thoughts 😭

landonorris well deserved, well enjoyed

↳yourusername You're not that terrible to be around, did you know that?

landonorris i'm still adjusting to your presence, can't say the same

yourusername Mean :(

landonorris i love you :)

yourusername Nice :)

username2 HE SAID THE BIG WORDS

username3 Ladies and gentlemen, Lando 'I don't wanna mature' Norris has matured

username4 God my brain can't comprehend what the hell happened

carlossainz55 The IT couple 👏🏆

↳landonorris of course

↳username5 Seems like they've been teaching Carlos the gen z expressions 😭

username6 I will miss the rivalry between them

↳username2 you really think it'll end?

username6 Yeah they'll go soft on each other

username2 Y/n is the second most competitive on the grid after Max, I don't think the rivalry between her and Lando will end 😂

maxfewtrell Finally

↳yourusername My 15yo self would say the same if she ever knew

maxverstappen1 @/landonorris pls don't affect her performance

↳landonorris pls let me be the cause of redbull's downfall, I've been plotting for years

yourusername It's not like I'll go easy on you now that you're my boyfriend

landonorris mean :(

yourusername I love you :)

landonorris nice :)

georgerussell63 Congrats on finally admitting your feelings guys

↳charles_leclerc We all knew it'll happen, we just didn't know when 😂

pierregasly @/charles_leclerc you owe me McDonald's

↳charles_leclerc We'll go after the season ends

landonorris you guys had a bet?

yourusername Of course they did, I'm so not surprised

charles_leclerc Max also participated.

yourusername @/maxverstappen1⁉️

maxverstappen1 I did participate in the bet...

yourusername How could you betray me like this!!

maxverstappen1 I like maccas, it convinced me

maxverstappen1 But we're all very happy for you if that makes it any better

yourusername Let's say it does...

landonorris i say we should beat his ass on the next race

yourusername I agree, it's settled 🏁 Max Emilian Verstappen, get ready to from now on forever be behind a mclaren and your fellow redbull

[winterrrnight]

rafe loves to hear you talk and talk about things you are so passionate about… <3 a rafe x reader blurb <3 cw: reader is chatty and rambl-y and is insecure about it, in this scenario reader is extremely passionate about japanese legends, lovesick rafe + casually dominant rafe, intentional lower case <3 just something for me to post after a small break as I work on other projects <3 for @zyafics who is one of the biggest reasons I am feeling motivated to write again <3

“oh here’s another one I read about yesterday!” you say excitedly as rafe squeezes your intertwined hands, smiling at you.

“mhm go on,” he smiles as you both continue to walk on the sidewalk, the full moon shining bright down at the two of you.

“this one is about the red thread of fate, this thread connects two soulmates,” you smile at him. he looks at you with his eyebrows slightly raised.

“connects two soulmates?” he echoes, and you nod.

“yeah,” you say. “it’s said there is a man who lives on the moon who comes to earth to show people their futures and who they’ll end up with. he does that with the help of the red thread of fate. he ties this invisible red thread between the two people who are meant to be together. this thread can tangle over the huge distance between the two people, it can stretch, but it will never ever break, and it will always tighten to bring those two people together.

“it also talks about the existence of a red pencil which can trace this invisible red thread, and this pencil gets shorter with its usage.

“oh and, this thread is always tied between the pinkies of the two people. that is because it was discovered a long time ago that our heart is connected to our pinky finger by an artery, which is now called the ‘ulnar artery’. this artery carries oxygenated blood from our heart to our pinky. so, in a way, our heart is directly linked to our pinkies via this artery, so when we make a pinky promise, we are basically connecting our hearts while making the promise. and that is why the invisible red thread of fate is also connecting our pinkies, because it is basically connecting the hearts of the soulmates, and–”

you take a look to your left at rafe, who’s looking down at the sidewalk as you both walk. you got so absorbed in talking you don’t even know if he is still listening or if he has tuned you out. honestly, who can blame him? since you keep on talking too much, anyone would quickly tune you out.

“oh god i’m doing it again aren’t i?” you say nervously as you stop in your tracks on the sidewalk, causing rafe to stop too. he eyes you with furrowed brows and creases on his forehead.

the actual truth is, rafe was thinking about tying a red thread to your pinkies when you both get home, his mind racing on where he can actually find some red thread in his house.

“doing what?” rafe asks softly.

“the, the ramble thing, where i just talk and talk till my mouth falls off,” you sigh, looking down. “I do that way too much, i don’t even know if you want to hear it or not but I just start speaking with no seeming end to my talk whatsoever, and you have to force yourself to listen to it because you got stuck being my boyfriend. and then i just keep on talking without thinking, it’s like my mouth has a mind of its own, I really should start to think–”

you are immediately cut off with rafe’s lips on yours, your eyes widening as you try to adjust to what is happening. rafe’s free hand comes to rest on your cheek to pull you even closer into the kiss, and your eyes flutter shut, letting you get lost in the feeling of him.

rafe gently pulls apart from the kiss, his eyes barely open as he gazes down at you.

“listen to me…” he says softly. “you don’t talk too much. I love hearing you talk. I love the cute expressions you make when you talk about things you are passionate about. I love how much knowledge you have about them and how you want to share it with me. I love the shine in your eyes when you start to talk, and the shine is even brighter under the moonlight. never ever apologize for talking too much because I won’t hear it, and you’ll only end up getting kissed by me each time. you get it?”

you look up in rafe’s eyes with a stunned expression. for the first ever time, you are at a loss of words, and all you can do is nod.

he smiles softly at you, as his thumb caresses your cheek. “words, baby, you hear me?” he says softly.

“yeah…” you let out. “I hear you,”

“good,” he mumbles. “never apologize again, okay?”

“okay,” you whisper.

he presses a soft kiss to your forehead and tugs on your hand gently, both of you now walking again. “come on, continue what you were saying,” he says, urging you to continue about the legend you were talking about.

you nod as you clear your throat before resuming to tell him more, this time not allowing even a single thought to let you stop as the stream of words spills from your lips, and rafe only listens in awe, loving hearing what it is you have to tell him.

[edenesth]

The Way to His Heart [10]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 4.5k

Trigger Warnings: graphic violence/torture, gore, implied mutilation

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Part 9 | Fic Masterlist | Part 11

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Wooyoung called out, entering the general's study with Jongho following closely behind, having been summoned to the estate.

Seonghwa looked up from his desk, "Ah yes, I heard you turned down the bonus incentive we offered. Why is that? Is there something else that you wish to have?"

Having encountered few who would refuse extra money, your husband found it hard to comprehend the private investigator's decision. Most people around him were usually drawn by the allure of his wealth or other associated benefits, which left him curious about Wooyoung's motives for declining the bonus. Surely, there was something specific he desired.

The younger man beamed, "My lord, I wasn't working so willingly for you because I wanted something more from you. Honestly, nothing makes me happier than being recognised by you! I just... okay, maybe there is one thing I really want."

Raising his brow, the general was not surprised by the sudden admission, "Go on, name it then."

With a cheeky grin, the investigator replied, "It's that you allow me to help you with whatever problems you have now!"

Your husband rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "What do you mean? I have no problems now; the worst is over."

"Really? Is that why you're here sulking alone instead of being with Lady Park? You clearly want to be near her, and yet, here you are, staying away from her because you haven't a clue how to face her after the traumatising ordeal you put her through yesterday."

That finally piqued Seonghwa's attention, prompting him to sit up straighter, though he attempted to maintain a nonchalant demeanour, "H-how did you figure that out?"

Without waiting for Wooyoung's response, he shook his head, "No, wait, actually, I don't want to know that. Just tell me... what should I do? I realise I haven't considered well enough what she went through, but I... I've never had to care for someone like this before, and I'm not really sure how to..."

The investigator offered an understanding smile, "My lord, the key to any relationship is communication. You need to talk to Lady Park. Ask her how she's feeling, and tell her you're sorry for what she went through. Avoiding each other won't solve anything; it will only create more distance between you two. You're her pillar of support now, and she needs to feel that you're there for her. You both deserve happiness, but it starts with open and honest communication."

Absorbing the advice, the general nodded thoughtfully, "You're right, Wooyoung. I appreciate your straightforwardness. I'll go talk to her and make things right."

Without hesitating, he sprang from his chair and made his way out of the study. The assistant and his friend couldn't contain their laughter, covering their mouths with their hands, but quickly composed themselves when Seonghwa glanced back at them, "Oh, and please, accept the bonus. You deserve it, especially after this."

Before Wooyoung could object, he had already exited the room and was rushing down the path toward the House of Lotus, his heart pounding at the thought of seeing his wife again.

He remembered how quiet you had been during the entire journey back home the day before, your gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. While you weren't overtly distant or cold to him, you seemed lost in thought throughout dinner. You excused yourself early, retiring to your quarters. The atmosphere carried an unspoken tension, making him hesitant to say anything for fear of your potential reaction.

Reflecting on it, he realised he should have assured you that things would be better from that point forward. Rather than maintaining a facade of normalcy, he regretted not breaking the silence and being there for you in that moment of unease.

His steps hesitated, and his breath deepened as you finally appeared in his line of sight, seated alone in the pavilion outside your room. Your lady etiquette books lay open beside you, but the faraway look in your eyes remained glued to the horizon beyond the lotus pond. For a moment, he stood there, appreciating your beauty, suddenly feeling thankful you looked nothing like your father.

However, as soon as you turned your head slightly and noticed him standing by the entrance, he blinked rapidly, feeling flustered. Gathering his courage, he took a deep breath and approached you.

Just go talk to her, you fool.

Seeing him approach, you closed the books and made room for him to sit in the small pavilion. He offered a warm smile, "Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you or anything."

Shaking your head, you returned a small smile, "No, not at all. I tried to study, but I just... I couldn't."

As he settled down beside you, reaching for your hand, you didn't flinch or pull away. He released a relieved breath and moved closer, "It's alright, you don't have to force yourself. I know you're probably upset with me. I... I'm sorry, my dear."

Lifting your head to meet his eyes, you furrowed your brows, "What? Why would I be upset with you?"

He winced, wondering if you were intentionally testing him to see if he knew what he did wrong. But then again, he knew you would never do anything like that. Sighing, he admitted, "Look, I know I should've thought things through better yesterday. I was so focused on wanting to punish your family for what they did, I forgot about how horrible it must have been for you to go back there and sit through all of that."

"I acknowledge it was a mistake. My intention was to give you a chance to confront your family by taking you to your old room. I didn't think it would affect you so badly. I realise now that it was a misguided decision, and I regret taking you back to that place. I'm a goddamned idiot."

His admission tugged at your heart, and you responded by placing a comforting hand over his.

"Seonghwa, you're not an idiot. I'm not upset with you," You assured him, "I've been quiet since the visit because I'm still processing the fact that my own father killed my mother. All this time, I believed she died from sickness. Now, I can't help but wonder how different my life would have been if only she were still alive. He took her away from me just like that, and for what? All for his own selfish reasons..."

"I just... I feel so—" Tears welled up in your eyes, and your voice broke, "I-I'm sorry..." You pulled your hands away from him, attempting to wipe your eyes, but he gently grasped your shoulders and turned you to face him.

"No, you need to stop apologising. You have every right to be sad, and I'm here to tell you that you never have to endure any more of the pain you're going through alone. I'm here for you, okay? From now on, I want you to lean on me whenever things get too unbearable. Can you do that?"

Feeling the genuine warmth in Seonghwa's tone and seeing the unmistakable care in his eyes, you finally broke down. The weight of the revelations, the pain of your father's actions, and the years of emotional torment spilt over, and you couldn't hold back your tears any longer. He pulled you close, cradling you in his arms as you sobbed against his shoulder.

Whispering comforting words into your ear, he pressed gentle kisses onto the top of your head. His touch was a soothing balm, providing the comfort and support you desperately needed in that moment. As you let out your emotions, he held you tighter.

The sound of your heart-wrenching cries only caused an uncomfortable squeeze in his heart. The general had never experienced this kind of ache before. Throughout his life, he had always believed that no one had a tougher life than he did. But then you came along, with your fragile form, managing to shake his entire world and alter his perspectives on life. All of a sudden, the notion of having someone to protect and care for didn't seem so repulsive, especially when it was you.

You slowly pulled back, staring up at him through your wet lashes, and offered a grateful smile, "Seonghwa, I want to thank you for doing all this for me. I never imagined someone caring enough to go through all that trouble. I promise, in return, I'll try my hardest to be a worthy wife for you."

He wiped away your tears tenderly and gazed into your eyes, "You don't need to prove anything, my love. You're already perfect, just as you are."

Your heart raced, and your eyes widened as you stuttered, "W-wait, what... what did you just call me?"

He stilled, realising the words that had slipped from his mouth before he softened. Leaning close, he pressed his forehead against yours, "My love."

Seonghwa's presence became almost intoxicating. Feeling him so close, as if with a mind of its own, your eyes slowly fluttered closed. He took that as permission to lean in further, and after what felt like an eternity, his lips touched yours in a soft and tentative kiss. When you didn't push him away, he bravely angled his head before pressing his lips firmly against yours.

Finally, our first kiss.

Pulling away after a while to catch your breath, you bit your lip shyly, "I-I'm sorry if I wasn't—"

He shook his head, "Don't worry, it's my first time kissing someone too," He admitted, struggling to take his eyes off your swollen lips. A soft smile played on his lips as he caressed your cheek with his thumb, "Can I..." He asked with half-lidded eyes, and you nodded breathlessly.

Without wasting another moment, he captured your lips in another loving kiss. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the warmth of each other's presence. His touch was gentle yet filled with a depth of emotion. As the kiss deepened, you felt a rush of emotions, a mix of vulnerability and passion.

Feeling the need for air, he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours. Your eyes met, and you could see the affection and sincerity in his gaze, "You're perfect." He whispered, his voice filled with tenderness, realising that kissing you might just be his new favourite thing to do from now onwards. The moment lingered, the air charged with newfound emotions. It was a beginning, a sweet promise of the love that had blossomed between you.

"Your Majesty, please—"

The King slammed his fists against the handle of his throne, causing the minister to gasp and lower his head. He shook like a leaf, awaiting his impending doom as the ruler declared, "I don't want to hear another word from you, Jang. You're a bloody disappointment. Actually, you're worse than that, you monster."

Kneeling beside your father were your stepmother and stepsisters, equally trembling. Pathetic tears rolled down their cheeks as they attempted to put on a pity show, hoping to move His Majesty's heart. However, their efforts did little to appease his rage. He scoffed in disbelief at their audacity to cry, considering all the despicable things they had done to you and your mother.

This marked the first time the four women had set foot in the palace, and little did they anticipate it would be under such circumstances. The visit might also be their only time here, as the imminent judgement from the King would decide their fate.

Seonghwa stood in the corner, arms crossed over his chest, an amused expression on his face. He left home that morning after a lingering kiss on your lips, feeling rejuvenated and determined. Choosing not to burden you with the details of today's assembly, he shielded you from further thoughts about your family.

Don't worry, my love. I'll make sure they suffer a punishment worse than death.

"I can't stand to look at you imbeciles for another moment longer. Let's get this over with already. Royal Secretary Choi, would you be so kind as to enlighten us with all of Minister Jang's crimes and his punishments?" said the King.

Stepping forward from his corner next to the throne, San bowed, "As you wish, Your Majesty," Tugging open the scroll in his hands, he began reading out loud, "Minister Jang has committed a total of five crimes. First, he committed adultery voluntarily, and for that, he will be whipped with eighty lashes. Second, he committed the crime of official document forgery, and for that, he will be whipped an additional twenty lashes."

Dread filled the minister as he gulped, anxiously listening to the secretary move on to the next section, "Third, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of his own daughter, an innocent citizen, he will be flogged thirty times. Next, for violating the code of ethics as a minister, which is to be a law-abiding citizen, he will be stripped of his title and flogged another twenty times."

As your father's hands trembled, he attempted to hold himself up by pressing his sweaty palms against the floor, breathing heavily as he awaited the final and most severe punishment. San continued, "And finally, for the murder of his first wife, an innocent citizen, he will be sentenced to permanent exile."

That's... it?

Feeling a sliver of hope, the old man let out a small sigh of relief. At least it wasn't death by beheading or arsenic poisoning as he had feared. Banishment seemed acceptable; he supposed he could still live a quiet life somewhere away from here. Bowing deeply, he cried, "Thank you, Your Majesty! Your grace is immeasurable!"

All the ministers and officials present quickly stole glances at Seonghwa, wondering if he would throw a fit and object to the punishment that was yet to be the heaviest one. However, they failed to discern his feelings, as there was only an unreadable smirk on his handsome face.

Lady Jang and her daughters trembled as they awaited their turn. With a nod from the King, the secretary continued, "Moving on, Lady Jang has committed a total of four crimes. First, she voluntarily committed adultery, and for that, she will be whipped eighty lashes. Second, she committed the crime of official document forgery, and for that, she will be whipped an additional twenty lashes."

She nodded to herself, seemingly already accepting her fate, as she listened, "Third, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of the minister's eldest daughter, an innocent citizen, she will be flogged thirty times. And finally, for being an accomplice to the murder of the first Lady Jang, she will be sentenced to penal servitude for life."

Her eyes shot up immediately, finding it hard to accept that she would be separated from her husband. She had believed she, too, would be exiled along with him. But she quickly lowered her gaze as soon as she saw the glare the King had directed at her, as if daring her to complain about it.

Oh god, my life is over...

Noticing the King's patience wearing thin, San quickly concluded with the final sentencing, "Lastly, for the confinement, continuous abuse, and mistreatment of the minister's eldest daughter, an innocent citizen, the three young misses of the Jang family will be flogged thirty times each and sentenced to penal servitude for a total of thirty years."

All three of the sisters' jaws fell slack at their punishment. After living luxurious lives like spoiled brats for so long, they were now expected to be servants, performing hard labour for three decades. All their dreams of getting married and leading comfortable lives were shattered. The prospect of finding suitors after serving their sentences seemed bleak. Their lives were forever ruined, and things would never be the same.

"Now that that's settled, remove these individuals from my sight, and see to it that they receive their physical punishments by today. I don't want their presence contaminating my palace walls any longer than necessary. Moving on to the next agenda, let us discuss who will stand in as the interim Minister of Military Affairs until we elect a new one." The ruler grumbled, waving his hands dismissively.

Seonghwa grinned smugly, relishing the way your father's face fell as he absorbed His Majesty's words. The King fully intended to drive the point home, reminding him that, no matter how much he believed he contributed to the nation, he, too, was just as disposable. Consider it emotional torment for further punishment, if you will.

As the members of the Jang family were forcefully pulled to their feet and guided toward the palace torture chamber where all punishments for criminals were administered, the general bowed deeply, "Your Majesty, forgive this humble subject for not feeling too well. Would it be possible for me to excuse myself from the remainder of today's assembly?"

With a knowing glint in his eyes, the King nodded, "Of course, my boy. Nothing matters more than your well-being. I'll have Royal Secretary Choi send you the minutes of today's meeting later on."

All eyes were fixed on your husband as he confidently exited the hall, wearing an excessively pleased expression, looking a little too content to be feeling unwell as he had claimed. It became evident to everyone that he was plotting something, a scheme that even His Majesty was privy to and had tacitly approved.

"P-please, have mercy!"

Screams reverberated within the dim and eerie confines of the torture chamber, a place the general once frequented during his duties of interrogating spies, war criminals, and suspicious individuals to maintain peace within the nation.

The familiar sounds of your family's agonising cries filled his ears, and he couldn't suppress the chuckle that escaped his lips as he entered, "Ah yes, music to my ears."

Upon his arrival, all the royal guards present swiftly bowed deeply and greeted Seonghwa with respect, "Good day, General Park!" They dared not continue until he gave them a nod, "Go on, don't let me stop you. I'm only here to enjoy the show."

"Yes, sir!" They chanted in unison. To many young soldiers and palace guards, he was akin to a god, an embodiment of success they aspired to achieve one day. Therefore, his mere presence motivated them to perform their duties with increased ruthlessness and precision.

Taking a seat in the centre of the room, your husband bit his lip with a smug expression, locking eyes with your father whose gaze reflected anguish. The elderly man lay face down on a wooden table, enduring lash after lash on his already bloody and battered back. His painful ordeal was far from over.

Whimpering, your father pleaded, "S-Seonghwa, I'm s-still your father-in-law! Please, at least show a little mercy to your wife's father!" Beside him, his wife nodded pathetically, sharing the same painful fate. Meanwhile, the three daughters stood frozen in a corner, wrists cuffed, awaiting their turn to face their beatings.

A devilish laughter escaped the general as he shot a menacing glare at the former minister, "Oh, I'm sorry, was that supposed to make things any better? I would show you mercy if only you had shown my wife any. You shouldn't have said anything, you fool," Turning to the guard in charge of whipping your father, your husband ordered, "Not hard enough, soldier. I want to see his skin tear."

"Yes, sir!" Striking with increased force, the lashes landed on the old man's back, inflicting wounds that would take months to heal. The continuous shrieks of pain only served to widen the smile on Seonghwa's face, "And to think you were thanking His Majesty for his grace; you've underestimated the severity of being whipped, haven't you? Did you really think you were going to walk out of here with a small bruise? Dream on."

"Oh, I can't wait for all of you to experience the wonders of flogging! It will be delightful, a punishment perfectly suited for your kind." The general sang, eyeing the three girls slyly.

They cowered under his intense gaze, suddenly regretting every action they took on the day of your visit. Perhaps if they hadn't attempted any of those, they might have gotten away with a lighter sentence. But there was no point dwelling on such thoughts now.

"Father! Mother!" The girls cried, witnessing their parents only now completing the first half of their punishment. Before they could continue their wailing, guards approached them, saying, "Quiet down! Worry about yourselves instead; it's your turn."

The former minister and his wife looked practically lifeless by the time the guards were finished with their hundred lashes each. The skin on their backs was completely torn open, blood gushing out relentlessly. They were nearly unconscious by the time the guards moved them to separate poles, where they would be beaten with a heavy stick all over their bodies.

Letting out a small yawn, Seonghwa signalled for them to prepare for the flogging. This would be entertaining to witness; most criminals barely survived this punishment by the time it concluded. He would relish the idea of them being left in critical conditions.

"Enjoy yourselves! Thirty times each for what you've all done to my wife – just the perfect amount to leave you halfway to hell. Don't worry; you'll wish you were dead by the end of this. But rest assured, we will keep you alive," Your husband exclaimed with a clap of his hands, "Now, I want you to think of all the things you've done to my wife as you endure this. Can we all do that?"

In the ensuing silence, the guards approached each family member, forcefully striking them with the heavy sticks in their hands. With just one hit, all of them began howling in pain, "Answer the general! Can you all do as you are told?!"

"Y-yes! Yes!" All five of them sobbed miserably, and the general beamed, "Fantastic! Now, let the official flogging begin! The first one does not count, alright? Consider it warm up!"

The insanity in his eyes was genuinely terrifying, and your family was once again reminded of his reputation. Suddenly, it all made sense. This was how it felt to be a victim of his cruelty. They never should have sent you to him; that was their biggest mistake, and nothing they do or say could ever change that now.

"Yes, sir!"

And so it began, the screams that now filled the room were even more piercing than the ones during the first round of whipping.

Approaching each family member one by one, Seonghwa smirked, "Remember all the times you starved her?" Jinjoo nodded in between shrieks, "Good. And you, recall all the times you insulted her and made her feel small?" Jinhee repeated her sister's actions, nodding furiously, "Very good. And you, remember all the times you did something wrong and blamed it on her so that she would take your punishments for you?"

Jinah cried, tears and snot running down her sweaty face, "I'm sorry!" He shook his head, "Will saying a useless sorry change anything? Nope. Hit her harder, soldier," With a grin of approval, he moved on to your stepmother, "And you, recall all the times you kept her locked up in that prison cell you call her room?" Not wanting to suffer like her eldest, she nodded aggressively, "Good."

Finally stopping in front of your father, he crossed his arms over his chest, "And you, remember all the times you laid your hands on her? Your own daughter?" The former minister nodded quickly but was not spared, "Good, hit him even harder so he never forgets how it feels."

"Twenty-nine, thirty." The beatings stopped for the four women, and they collapsed one by one onto the floor like rag dolls. Blood trickled from their noses and the corners of their lips, their bodies covered in countless bruises and open wounds, soaking their clothes red. And that is only what can be seen on the outside; who knew what fatal internal injuries they could be suffering from.

With his hands propped on his hips, Seonghwa took in the sight with satisfaction, "Very well, some of these scars should last you for life. Now, you look as bad as the way you'd left my wife. Actually, worse. But that's good. I'm very happy with the outcome. Guards, take them away and make sure to send them to places where they're known to treat their servants poorly."

The girls sobbed upon hearing that, "General, please, have mercy! We've already suffered enough!" Your husband scoffed, "Mercy? Have you not been paying attention this entire time? I'm not known for that. Get them out of my sight."

As the guards dragged the wailing women out, they cried for their husband and father. The former minister yelled, still taking his twenty additional beatings as he watched his wife and daughters go, "W-will you not at least let me say my final goodbyes to them?"

"Minister, please don't make me laugh. Did you also allow my wife and her poor mother a final goodbye?" The old man had nothing to say at that, grunts of pain escaping his lips as he tried to endure the remainder of his punishment despite feeling like all of his insides had been beaten to mush at this point. He didn't have to look down to know that he was soaked in blood; he could feel the sting on his wounds whenever the slightest bit of wind blew past.

Just a bit more, and I'm free.

« Preview of Part 11 »

"Forty-nine, fifty." Your father sighed in relief when the punishment finally ceased. Collapsing to the ground upon being untied, he stared blankly ahead, feeling pain throughout his entire body. Slowly but surely, he slipped into unconsciousness due to the loss of blood.

Unfortunately, his respite was short-lived. A bucket of dirty water was abruptly dumped over him, causing him to scream in agony as the injuries on his body stung intensely, bringing tears to his eyes.

"Did you think it was over?" His blood ran cold as he noticed he was now tied to a chair, unable to move. With most of the guards gone, only him and Seonghwa remained.

"What do you think you're doing, general? I've completed all my physical punishments; you're supposed to banish me now!" The old man croaked, his eyes widening in fear as he noticed the dagger in your husband's hand.

The general burst into laughter, "Oh, minister, you can be quite slow at times. Did you genuinely believe that His Majesty's decision not to sentence you to death was an act of kindness? Who do you think requested your exile?"

"Y-you—"

Seonghwa smirked, "Indeed, it was me. Killing you would have been too merciful. No, I want you to endure a life so filled with pain that you wish for death every single day. Now, after seeing how skilled you were at begging all day, I believe you'd make a very talented beggar. Do you know what would make you a successful beggar?"

Tears streaming down his face, your father shook his head hopelessly as your husband traced the blade against his skin before whispering, "One without limbs."

That was the most violence I have ever written HAHA I had to channel my inner Joker for Seonghwa's character. Anyway, I hope that was satisfying enough!

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3

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[bigification]

Spiked

Friday,

I feel strong, but these protein shakes haven't been helping my bulk as much as I want. I'm still too skinny. Maybe I should give them more time though, I've only been taking them for a couple weeks after all. I'll try bumping it up to two a day, and I'll eat more, that should help.

I pick up my phone as I leave the gym and stare at the Grindr app. Should I? Is it fair to Dean that I keep bringing back guys to our place. This would be the fourth time this week, I think I can hold off for his sake. Anyway, I put away my phone and head back to my apartment.

"How was the workout?" Dean asked when I got home. I'm shocked, he's never really been interested in my workouts before. We used to go together before we were roommates but now that we live together, the gym is a rare activity we do apart. Besides, he hasn't really been going that much recently.

"Oh, it was good... I'm just not bulking as much as I want to." I reply.

"That must be why you got those protein shakes, huh?"

Why is he taking so much notice of this stuff now? We can share the shakes if he really wants to, he might just be trying to motivate himself to get back in the gym. But he could just ask if that's what he wants. "Ya, I'm gonna try to drink more, maybe that'll help." I say as I go to the fridge and grab one.

"That's good." Dean says in a flat tone, he usually does this when he's lost interest in a conversation.

I get distracted from the conversation anyway as I drink the shake. Something seems different about it, it's got a bit of a bitter aftertaste now. I figure it's probably just me getting tired of the taste and shrug it off.

Saturday,

I wake up in a cold sweat. This was unusual given that I get up every day at this time to go to the gym. I look to the clock and it's... 10 o'clock. Holy shit, I slept in. I'm usually at the gym by 8. I calm down a bit when I remember it's Saturday, so I have nothing to do anyway.

I roll out of bed and hobble my way to the bathroom. My head is spinning and my stomach is growling, I felt hungover. I didn't drink last night did I? I don't really remember. However, all of that leaves my mind in an instant when I look in the mirror. I rub my eyes and look again. Where do I even begin. An itchy beard now covers my face, despite the fact that I shaved yesterday morning. My sweat glistened on my distended stomach, my six pack buried under a soft bloat. My pecs are swollen and slightly rounded.

What the fuck. My mind is trying to process what's happening, but it can't. I turn to the side and see the subtle S shape in my stomach and my ass. Was it the shake? It couldn't have been, it hasn't done shit for me in weeks and now it does this! You know what, this is fine. I pinch my stomach. It's mostly bloated, just a small layer of fat, nothing I can't work off in a couple weeks. If anything this will give me a head start on my bulk.

I throw on some of my loose gym clothes that do a decent job at hiding my physique, but I still look different. I grab my gym back and try to sneak out, I don't want Dean seeing me like this. I quickly try to rush out the door, but I stop dead in my tracks when I hear Dean.

"I didn't know you were still home, you usually leave before I get up." He says nonchalantly.

"Oh ya... I just decided to sleep in today." I pull my bag to cover my stomach.

"Okay, have fun at the gym. Nice beard by the way, when did you decide to grow it out."

"I've just been a bit lazy with shaving it, that's all." I'm sweating buckets.

"Well it looks good, you should keep it." He smiles at me.

I can feel myself blush, so I smile and get out as quickly as possible. I chug a protein shake on the way to the gym, noting that bitter aftertaste again. It's probably nothing, I have bigger issues to deal with.

Once I start my workout, I feel pretty self conscious about my body. I know no one else could know that something is off, but I still feel off. But as the workout goes on, I start feeling more and more comfortable. I start hitting more reps than I ever have before, though cardio is a bit of a slog. It doesn't matter, I feel surprisingly great. I finish off the workout great, and flex in the mirror for a bit of a confidence boost.

I drink another shake on the way home. As I get home, Dean seems to be waiting for me. He asks how my workout was again. He's acting so weird again. I decide to spend the rest of the day out, drinking the night away. I am bulking after all.

Sunday,

I wake up feeling like I got hit by a truck, with no memory of how much I drank last night. I've never felt like this after a night out though. The more I think about it, the more my mind points me to the shakes. They have to have something to do with this. I don't have time for this right now though, I have to get to the gym.

I brush my teeth and shave, I'm shocked at the beard I grew in just two days. I try throwing on some clothes, but I feel some resistance. My largest gym shirt no longer fits, there's always a sliver of skin showing and it goes past my belly button when I reach up. My shorts fit a bit better, but they hug my ass very tight. I think I'll have to buy some new clothes on the way home.

The workout goes similarly to yesterday. I start self conscious of the fact that my belly is showing and my shorts look like they're about to rip. But the worry escapes my mind when I destroy my routine. I feel so strong.

I feel great by the time my workout ends. I head to the locker room and take off my shirt. Yeesh, I have a full on beer belly now. This is no longer just a bloat, my stomach is covered in a thick layer of fat. I didn't even know you could gain this much fat in only a couple of days, and I'm not even eating that much. And what's with the beard, I shaved this morning and it's already coming back in. Although my arms are looking massive, I could even feel my sleeves stretch from my biceps when I was working out. I stare at my belly a bit as I think about what to do.

I throw on my shirt again and head out. I pull up to a clothing store and pick out a few loose gym clothes that should fit me if I bulk even more.

"Hi, where are the change rooms." I ask an employee.

"Oh.." he pauses for a moment, looking at my belly. I notice that my shirt is riding up more than it was this morning. I instinctively cover my exposed belly with my arms and shrivel up in embarrassment.

"Just over there sir." He awkwardly points to the back of the store.

I grab a few larger clothes on the way out and leave the store as fast as humanly possible. I instinctively down another shake on the way home. Dean didn't say anything to me when I got home, but he glanced at me and then looked away. He is acting so strange.

I woke up in the middle of the night, there was a rattling coming from the kitchen. I walk out to investigate and see Dean doing something with the protein shakes. Is he secretly drinking them at night? He could just ask and I would give some to him. But I see him pour something into the shake and then close it back up again before putting them back in the fridge. What the hell? I try to think of what he could be doing. He stashes something away in the bottom of the cupboard and starts walking back to his bedroom. I quickly hide in my room until I hear his door close, and then I go back to the kitchen to investigate. I look at the protein shakes in the fridge and notice their seals have been broken, I can't believe I never noticed that. I move over to the cupboard and find a small bag with white powder in it. It looks like coke, but why the fuck would Dean put coke in my shakes. And besides, I don't think fat, muscle, and hair growth are symptoms of coke. Maybe I'll give him a taste of his own medicine. I go back to the fridge and pull out the jug of orange juice that Dean drinks every morning. I have no idea how much he put in my shakes, so I just pour a bunch in. I kind of feel like a secret agent, sneaking in a mysterious powder into his drink. I would feel worse, but he already did this to me so I'm fine ignoring my morals this time.

I head to bed, lying awake in my bed for a while. Thinking about what I just did, thinking about the results. It's making it hard to fall asleep, but I eventually do.

Monday,

I wake up feeling better than I had the past few days. I go through my normal routine, throw on my gym clothes, and grab a bite to eat. When I open the fridge, i see the orange juice and protein shakes and I'm reminded of my situation. Every morning I get a few moments of blissful ignorance before it's ripped away. I think for a bit, then grab a couple shakes and put in my bag. I'm kinda liking this new me, the strong me, and the belly is definitely growing on me. I catch my reflection in the mirror as I head out, I'm really committing to this aren't I? I ask myself as I look at the bushy beard that has engulfed my face and the belly and moobs that are unmistakable under my shirt. I smile and then head to the gym.

Every day that I spend at the gym, I get less self conscious. I almost forget about the fact that my hairy gut I exposed to the world whenever I reach up. I only care about the fact that I have been increasing the weight on my workouts every day and it feels amazing.

I take a shower and get dressed for work... Oh shit. I never bought work clothes that fit me, I'm reminded when I try in vain to button up my dress shirt. I stop by the store again and grab a couple shirts and pairs of pants. The thought of the protein shake in my car makes me think of the future, so I buy a few clothes in larger sizes too.

I barely make it to work on time. The day went by fast, but all I could remember were the stares and the comments from coworkers. "You forget to shave this morning Santa?" "Might want to lay off the doughnuts in the break room buddy." "We're concerned about your health." "Did you forget to stop bulking?" That was all I heard today. It was embarrassing at first, but it soon turned to encouraging. Each sly comment just makes me want to grow more. It honestly makes me realize how much I'm enjoying growing, and makes me even more excited to see what happens to Dean. It was hard to keep my dick in my pants today, I think the only reason no one noticed was because they were too busy staring at my gut.

I make it back home after work and dress down to my underwear first thing. Damn I am getting hairy, I run my hands through the forest of hair that has grown all over my body. As I'm doing so, an amazing idea runs through my mind. I'm gonna surprise Dean. There's no way I can hide the changes in my body regardless of how baggy my clothes are, so I'm just gonna show it off. I lay down on the couch by the front door, still only in my underwear, and I wait for him to show up.

"I'm hom- Oh hey..." Dean stutters as he sees me.

"Hey bud, what's up." I say nonchalantly.

"Just tired from work, where are your clothes?"

"I had a crazy workout today, just figured I'd air out a bit. Ever since I started this bulk, things have really taken off for me at the gym." I say while I rub my gut. In trying my best to make him uncomfortable and it seems to be working.

"Okay, well if you need me I'll be in my room." He quickly scurries into his room.

I just chuckle to myself and continue rubbing my belly. I wonder if there's any leftovers in the fridge?

Tuesday,

Same old same old. Get out of bed, get dressed, shave, grab a shake and head to the gym.

I feel so imposing at the gym now. I think I've gotten taller, because I look down on almost every now. I have a beard and a deeper voice than I used to, and not to mention the big gut and strong biceps. I'm like the biggest guy here, and people treat me like it. Women and men stare, and people tend to let me use the machines I want. I also notice myself grunting when I work out, I wonder if the entire gym can hear it. Anyway, the point is I feel amazing. This is the first day I dropped cardio because who fucking needs it, I sure don't. Now I focus purely on mass gain. I'm tired of holding back and I don't care what other people think, I want more.

I arrived at work, rocking far more confidence than I did yesterday, and people noticed. I don't care if they stare or comment, and I don't care that my dress shirt is already too small for me. People even asked me how I gained as much muscle as it did that fast. I just tell them to eat a shit ton and drink protein shakes, but maybe once the jig is up with Dean I'll ask him how to get the powder. I certainly wouldn't mind seeing some of the men at work blow up like I did. This is not the time to think about it though, it's getting hard to hide my boner at work. The only thing hiding it when I sit down is my gut.

I get home and notice Dean is home too. He must have stayed home, I wonder if it's because of the powder. He won't seem to leave his room though, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to see the results.

I just decide to change into some comfortable clothes and eat my heart out. Though I'm shocked at how small my once 'baggy' clothes are. They barely fit past my stomach, and they ride up past my belly button when I lift my arms.

Fuck I'm getting fat. There is nothing hotter to me right now than the thought of my body growing. I make my way to the kitchen and grab a few more shakes and start chugging, feeling my dick harden with each gulp. I feel like a fucking pig, what has come over me. The shake is dribbling down my beard and onto my shirt, but I can't stop. Once I've had enough protein shakes for a lifetime, I stumble to my room and promptly fall asleep.

Wednesday,

I wake up in a pool of sweat, similar to a couple days ago. My mouth tastes awful and my body feels heavy. I question what happened last night as I roll myself out of bed. I drag myself to the bathroom and freeze in shock at my image in the mirror. Holy shit. I pull up my shirt to see a massive ball belly, covered in a thick layer of hair. I pull my shirt up further and see a pair of soft man tits that now lay on my gut. Every part of my body looks swollen, my arms, my hands, even my face looks puffy.

I let out a loud burp that reeks of protein shake, and suddenly I remember last. I walk to the kitchen and see six empty protein shakes on the table. I chuckle in a surprisingly deep voice before opening the fridge and grabbing a shake. I down it before getting ready to head to the gym. I put on my largest gym shirt and it only reaches halfway around my gut, I try to put on my shorts but I can't get them to cover the top of my ass crack. That's alright, I don't particularly care if anyone sees, it's their fault for looking.

I spend the day at the gym enjoying all the attention from shocked gym goers. They watch in amazement or contempt as this fatass walks around like he owns the gym.

I go to work with a similar energy, though I do have a dress shirt that still barely fits me so at least I'm not half naked going to work. My clothes still leave little to my coworkers imaginations, as I confidently strut my fatass around the office.

I get home and stand in shock as I walk through the door. Is that Dean!? Across the living room stands a morbidly obese man wearing nothing but boots, a baseball cap, and a ripped towel around his waist.

"You did this to me!" The man yells in a gruff southern accent.

"Dean, is that you?" I respond.

"Yea, you dumbass! You gave me some of that powder didn't ya." He turns to face me and reveals the damage the powder did to his body.

"Hey you did it to me first! I was only returning the favour."

"I only put I bit into your shakes, how much did'ya give me!? Look what it's done to me!" He grabs a handful of the fat on his belly, and it jiggles like jello.

"Well I didn't know how much to give you."

"And you're only s'posed to take it when you're workin out, otherwise it only grows fat and not muscle. Beside, why d'ya keep drinking it after you knew?" He asks

"Because I like me this way, it just felt good to get revenge. Why did you even do it in the first place?" I ask in return.

"Because I thought if you got fat you'd stop hooking up with so many guys, and you'd notice me. It was only s'posed to be a bit, but then you started drinkin the shakes like crazy and now look at ya." He responds in a genuine voice. I don't know what to say, so I stand silent. He grabs his phone and approaches me. "This is what I looked like 2 days ago!" He shows me a picture of himself. "I was so happy that I could finally grow a beard. Little did I know why."

"This is what I looked like yesterday." He shows me another photo. "My hair was falling out and my hairline was receding. I woke up looking like I was pregnant, and my pants couldn't fit anymore."

"I was so scared that I ate some of that powder, but I didn't know what to do, so I stayed in my room all day and drank nothing but orange juice. Then I woke up this morning as a bald 350 pound man. That's when I knew you put that powder in my orange juice." He seems frantic.

I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed him and kissed him. "I never realized how hot your accent is until now." I say as I pull away from the kiss, he smiles in return. In the moment, another terribly amazing idea comes to my head. I grab the bag of powder he had left on the table and pour some of the powder into his mouth before snorting some myself. He looks at me in shock for a moment before swallowing it. I smile before dragging his fatass to my tiny king sized bed.

Then next Monday,

I just hit 300 today. I still go to the gym everyday, so that keeps my gut from growing out of control. Though I have had some interesting conversations with my family since. But the shocked faces of my family when they see me and their concerned comments if my weight gain only fuels the fire. Though my dad seems to be the only one who says he likes the new me, says I look manlier. It's funny coming from the next fattest man in the family, only behind me of course.

The scale stopped working on Dean after last Thursday, but he has to be pushing 500. I really gave him an insane dose of that powder, and the more fat he got the less capable he was to workout and thus reduce the fat gained. He just sits around and pigs out all day now, and I wouldn't want him any other way. I usually bring home a few meals from a couple fast food restaurants for his first dinner, and when I feel up to it, I'll add a little bit of powder to his meal.

I'm also enjoying work far more. I told all the men at my work about the powder, and within a few days I was seeing results. Some became as fat as Dean by the end of the week, clearly they neglected the part where it said to workout while consuming the powder. Some look like me, with big arms and an even bigger belly. And some have just become muscle beasts, almost like they spent hours a day at the gym. I also feel more imposing at work, people respect me more, even if half of them are bigger than me now. It even helped me get a raise, which funds all of the fast food trips for Dean and I. One day I hope to be the big boss with a silver bushy beard and hulking gut that spills out of my suit.

[the---hermit]

24|10|2024

New day, same book and same struggle to focus. I need this thing to be done, it's so stressing and tiring to try to keep my focus on this. It's written so fucking badly I can't take it anymore. And after sending a few passages to a friend I can confirm I am not the problem, the book is. It's so tiring on my brain that I am also less motivated to read in my free time, which is fine, but it shows how badly it's influencing me. My free time, when I am alone, these days mainly consists of listening to music, doing sudoku puzzles and continuing my Lost rewatch. I am now at the end of season 3 and I am not joking when I say I don't remember shit. I mean I do have a few memories of things that will happen, but there has been so many plot points amd twists I had completly forgotten.

productivity list:

read first thing in the morning

finished reading and underlining the first half of the last section of the book (now I only have to work on the second half and the epilogue which should be less than 50 pages)

started writing down notes for what I have read yesterday and today

started outlining a few thoughts on what my 2025 reading goals are going to be (I feel like this year I really learned a lot on what I want my reading to be, I will be writing a post on that around the end of the year)

duolingo

[acciocriativity]

-> | You keep distancing yourself | Ateez Reaction (Hyung Line)

Some could call selfsabotage, others could say is insecure attachament style, but maybe, you're just tired of fighting a losing battle.

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Ateez OT8 x gn! reader

WC: 2 k

N/A: This is my peace offering after vanishing for so long (please don't k word me)! I had this in my drafts for the longest time, but I only got enough motivation to finish it yesterday

Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! Thank you so much for reading my work!

Kim Hongjoong (김홍중)

His kakaotalk notifications were non-existent these days.

None of the boys were good texters, and their group chat was silent since Seonghwa asked for something he didn’t remember anymore a while ago. So why did he keep glancing at his phone across the table when he should be working? You never answered whether you would like to come see him next month or not.

“Aish..”, he suddenly got up and walked left and right in the tiny studio, every now and then hitting one of the chairs and acting like it was their fault.

Was it really too forward? Maybe you just were not comfortable with the idea. But you two met 5 months ago and you were never afraid to get out of any situation that made you uncomfortable, so you could just say no, no hard feelings. There’s always a next opportunity, right? So why, why didn’t you just reply?

His phone lighted up. A new yellow notification appeared and he ran to grab it. The simple thought of you messing with any rational thoughts on his mind.

He felt stupid as he read it, then dropped the device on the table, too dejected to care about Mingi’s lost earphones.

Since when did he become so clingy? Maybe you were just busy now, yeah, that was it.

And he wasn’t wrong. You were doing the most to busy yourself so you would have a perfectly acceptable reason to not answer him at all.

Any college assignment you had a month to do was now was a top priority. The new hobby you wanted to try for a while? You just started it. You barely talked to your brother nowadays, but in the last two weeks, you visited his family a couple of times.

Why? You knew what you were doing in the first few days. You got attached too soon, fell deep into a hole and only realized the moment he asked you to watch his concert, ‘It’d mean the world if you come see me on tour next month’ it said. You recalled one of those deep conversations you had some random night the moment you read it.

“It’s kind of embarrassing, but not at the same time”, you remembered how he looked down when you asked about it, the blush on his cheeks gave him away. “It gives me so much strength and makes me want to work harder whenever important people come to see us”.

He also said how he treasured whenever important people in his life would support him that way. Even through a simple video call, you saw how his eyes shined as he giggled, only to change the subject. A part of you wished to feel how it was to have a support system like he does, but you never thought you would be included in that category for him. You did not even know if you want to or if you could deal with the pain that always comes with giving your heart to people and letting people in.

So you refused to think about it.

Park Seonghwa (박성화)

He cleaned his throat as he saw you coming towards him at one of the many small corridors of KQ Entertainment.

“It’s now or never, now or never, now-”

You barely glanced at him as you walked into one of the empty meeting rooms like it was previously agreed.

Lucky him, nobody saw the disheartening expression on his face or how he hesitated to push the door open. His confidence level went back to below zero and instead of an easy smile, he could barely manage a shy smile and an unnecessary formal bow as he came in, it wasn’t like you did not know each other.

So maybe this collaboration would not go as smooth as he let the others convince him it would, still, he could talk to you and, hopefully, get back to the simple relationship you both once had.

“Hello, Seonghwa-ssi”, you said in such an indifferent polite tone. It surprised him and yourself.

What hurt him most was the fake professional smile on your face. You were known for your authenticity and the worst poker face on earth, but you made the effort to pretend in front of him, like he was nothing more than an inconvenient stranger in an elevator. His heart felt heavy on his chest, he never had to make an effort to make you genuine laugh or smile, and now he realized how much he took that for granted back then.

You seemed perfectly fine in front of him, like it hasn’t been more than a month since your last conversation. But he still likes to believe he knows you better than that. And maybe he wishes you also can not be fooled by his brave facade.

“How have you been?”, the words fell out of his mouth before he could even blink.

You cleared your throat as you sat on one of the rolling chairs. “Been good, Hongjoong-ssi is a bit late. Can you confirm that he is coming soon, please?”

You pretended not to notice how he fumbled to grab his phone to send the text and instead, busied yourself to set up your laptop on the empty wood table. But you could not ignore how he was still standing like a lost child by the table.

“Are you going to grab some water before the meeting?”

“No, no, I’m… I’ll go to get some coffee, do you want it?”

You said no, so he took your perfect opportunity to get out and he left as quickly as he could with hurting his pride too much.

With his back to the wall beside the coffee machine, he sent more than 16 messages pleading Hongjoong to let go of their stupid plan and come as fast as he could to the meeting. Yet, he was left unanswered. The last sent message almost taunted him, it said “Just apologize for your stupid mistake and make things right by her”.

He knew he had to after he acted like an asshole, it was clear the moment he got home to be with his own thoughts, but the more he reflected on their plan, more he realized maybe this is why you waked away from him.

So he gathered his courage once again, but now to apologize for two things and leave you alone for good.

Jeong Yunho (정운호)

He watched as you giggled over some silly comment Wooyoung made a point to tell for the nth time. Yet, there you were, acting like it was the funniest thing in the world. Maybe he would react the same way if you stopped ignoring him for once that night.

“It’s getting hard to watch this”, Jongho mumbled under his breath as he stood up from the couch to refill two glass cups in their dorm’s kitchen, both for himself because only God knew how tiring was to hype up a miserable and stubborn friend.

Yunho did not notice the change beside him, but he did take note of your agitated state under his stare. He wished that could satisfy a selfish desire of satisfaction, but he felt nothing of that sort. Instead, his heart felt heavy with despair and unfulfilled need of your attention.

It felt silly to him at first, you two kissed after drinking a lot, so what? He was ready to let the past be the past and he thought you were on the same page. How stupid of him, he recognized it. Your relationship with him never went back to what it was, but it took him a while to notice he did not want that at all.

“C’mon, will you really let him suffer for the whole night?”, Wooyoung asked as he leaned into your side, ready to cuddle some more in part because he wanted to and in part because it was fun to see Yunho going insane over it.

You two been near the window for a while, enjoying the soft cold breeze of the night after a sunny day.

“You can’t deny it forever”, he said it in an annoying singing tone. “-ow, but you know I’m right”, he looked down to your hands dangerously close to his poor ribs, then grab them tight. “Ok, I get it, not talking about it”.

“Great, now let go”, you mumbled. “Let go, I’m not poking you”, you insisted trying to free yourself, only for him to intertwine your fingers.

“What if I don’t want to? Now, stand still”, he said as he leaned into your shoulder, taking the space like he was entitled to it.

Now, you were flabbergasted and defeated, because no matter what you do, you could not escape him on cuddle monster mode.

“Can we talk?”, you froze in place the moment you heard Yunho’s smooth deep voice right beside you. His gaze were focused on your face, yet you still made no move to acknowledge it.

“Give me my cuddle buddy back later, yeah?”

And just like that, the freaking traitor let go of you. You could see the mischievous light on Wooyoung’s eyes focused on your figure.

“There was no way to run away now”

That thought ran through yours, Yunho’s and Wooyoung’s mind. But you felt rage while Yunho felt hope.

“There’s nothing to talk about, wasn’t what you said?”.

You bumped into the traitor’s shoulder, then walked away.

Kang Yeosang (강여상)

Maybe you were some sort of a masochist or, maybe, you were plain stupid.

You’ve been friends with him for so freaking long, long enough that the few female friends that could still deal with your bullshit were exhausted of you and your ridiculous crush.

You clearly knew you were the latter, for some reason you thought you’d get over at some point or maybe he’d suddenly see the mysterious thing he was always looking for in you. None of those happened.

You stopped talking about him a little ago, maybe a month or two, and it was a good change to your friends’ ears. It was noticeable, but they gave you enough grace to not mention it. Little did they know, you were running from him like the plague as well.

Truth to be told, Yeosang did not notice it per se. He knew for sure something was going on after you declined his third attempt to make plans in less than two weeks. Why would he think you were lying to him at all? He thought you were sick and if you were felling that bad, of course he wouldn’t hesitate to agree with you, it would be better to meet up another day.

But then, two whole weeks with barely a peep from you? He missed your companionship in a way he did not know he could. You came into his life and little by little carved your space in his heart. But it was hard to put this feeling into words, he was not good with them in general, so you often had to read through the unfinished lines.

Now, he laid on his back watching the nothingness on the ceiling, yet his mind kept recalling the earlier conversation with San, if he could call his tongue tied moment a conversation.

“So what you gonna do?”

He could do nothing but stare wide eyed. Up until then, he did not think- no, he did not feel like he should do anything. You said through your actions many times already that you wished to be alone and as a friend, what else could he do but respect that?

But San was a hopeless romantic, and he wasn’t one to let things go so easily. Also, he wished the best for the two of you, in whatever way that may be even though Yeosang did not see those possibilities right in front of his nose.

“What should I do?”

“You have to figure it out on your own”

He did, he should.

He called you.

You didn’t pick up.

You were tired of being the one reading between the lines.

Tag list: @h3arteyes4mingi

[owlbeforesunrise]

I'll care for you

Pairing: Changbin x chubby!reader Summary:  You were really needy for your boyfriend but you couldn't really express that. Genre: Smut Au/Trope: Smau Warning: Penetrative sex Rating: Mature Word Count: 1 445 A/N:  I decided as plus size girly to have a more plus size reader focus on my future fics...sorry.... not sorry

You let out a loud sigh as you stared at the ceiling. You were completely out stretched on your body listening to the sound of rain scattering on the roof. You felt kind of silly for feeling so…needy but you felt a little bit neglected by your boyfriend. It’s not like he wasn’t paying attention to you, he was extremely attentive to you and was always there when you needed him. The issue was with you, you were struggling internally. It had been awhile since you and your boyfriend had been intimate with each other and it was…weighing on you. You were kind of embarrassed when it came to sexual parts of relationships and it was extremely difficult for you to communicate what you wanted in that regard. It didn’t make it easier that your boyfriend was fucking Changbin. Him being the unit he was made it more difficult than expected and being his gym buddy made it exceptionally harder. You decided to go to the gym with him for the past couple months as a form of motivation but yesterday was the last straw. You barely did any working out as you ogled at your boyfriend as he did his workout. It was too much. That’s why you were staring at your ceiling right now, after feigning sickness to avoid the gym, you were home alone trying to calm yourself from the thoughts of your boyfriend manhandling you. The heat in your cheeks was intense, a mixture of embarrassment and arousal. 

“Babe, I’m home!” You heard Changbin yell as he shut the front door. You slightly cringed, the embarrassment still coursing through you. Come on, get yourself together. It’s not a big deal. You let out a breath to psych yourself out, quickly getting off the bed to greet your boyfriend.

“Hey baby.” He said throwing his gym bag on the floor. His outfit was not doing you any favours, he was wearing a tight short sleeved compression short and matching sweatpants. He extends his arms, inviting you in for a hug. “Don’t worry, I’m clean. I showered just for you.” You giggle at that and hop over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. His arms enveloped you, his warm, spicy scent engulfing you. Feeling his strong arms wrapped around you always comforted you…his strong, thick, muscular arms…so strong…able to manhandle you…stop!

“We should watch a movie!” You say, pushing off of Changbin, a lot louder than intended. You laugh, trying to hide your awkwardness. He gives you a puzzled look as you clumsily make your way to the couch.

“Are you feeling okay?” He says following you and plopping himself next to you.

“Okay? Of course I’m okay, I just really want us to watch this movie.” You say grabbing the remote, barely paying attention to the movie you hastily put on. You lay on Changbin’s side, looking up at his confused expression. “Let’s watch!”

You’ve barely been able to concentrate on the movie from the proximity. You snuggle with Changbin, his arm pulling you in closer. His warm scent wafted to you, making you slightly dizzy. You looked up into his eyes and…he looked so cute…ugh. He smiled down at you sweetly which you couldn’t help reciprocating. You just loved him so much, he was simultaneously the sweetest man you have ever met and also extremely…attractive. You tried to focus on the movie again, doing a horrible job at that. You could not focus…that is until a particular scene came on. The actors were hastily taking off their clothes while kissing passionately.You felt the heat rushing to your face at the unfolding scene. You look up at Changbin to gauge his reaction but you're faced with his eyes looking intently into yours. 

“Hi.” he said lightly, A smile graced his features making you feel shy under his gaze. 

“Hi.” you smile, looking at his chest to avoid his gaze. You felt his finger lightly push your chin up to meet his eyes again.

“Are you okay, babe? Is there something you need?” 

“N-no…I’m okay. I’m great.” You tried to turn your attention back to the screen. Changbin lightly gripped your chin, stopping you.

“Babe…if there’s something on your mind, you can talk to me. I can’t help you if you don’t let me.” Your eyes looked down back to his chest, still embarrassed but getting the courage to express yourself.

It’s just- okay it’s just that I’ve been certain things and I-I…ugh.” You trail your fingers down his chest not sure how to say the right words. 

“Talk to me…” he lightly caressed your cheek with his thumb. You let out a sigh and slowly looked into your boyfriend's eyes again.

“I-um…I want you Changbin.” Changbin sucked in a breath through his nose.

“How do you want me….?” You bite your lip and went on to drag your hand to lightly grip his waist.

“I want you…to fuck me…” Changbin crashed his lips onto your, tightening the grip on your head slightly. He passionately kissed you as if he’s been wanting this as long as you have. His tongue lightly caressed your bottom lip, you opened up inviting him in further. You moved yourself to straddle Changbins lap, breaking the kiss to breathe.  He looked up at you with swollen lips, his breathing slightly heavy. He moved his hands down your waist, grasping at the curves of your belly. Your hands went to remove your shirt off of your body, throwing it onto the floor. His eyes zeroed in on your chest, staring at your breast noticing you weren’t wearing a bra. He licked his lips before going in to plant kisses onto your breast. He took one of your ample tits into his hand, lightly cupping the plushness. A soft gasp left your lips as you gripped his muscular shoulders trying to contain yourself, biting your lip to stop any more noises from leaving you. Changbin seemed not to like this reaction from you because before you knew it you were flipped onto your back. You squeak from the sudden movement, looking into his eyes taken aback. He took off the tight compression shirt that hugged his muscular torso.

“Is this okay?” He says slightly breathless. You nod eagerly, enjoying this change from his usual gentle approach. “I need to hear your words.”

“Yes. I love it.” He laughs at your excitement pulling your pants down with your panties, completely removing them, He slots himself between your thighs, roughly hiking your legs to wrap around his hips. He hungrily engulfed your lips with yours passionately kissing you while simultaneously grinding his hardened bulge against your unclothed clit making you moan into the kiss. You were slowly losing it so you started to erratically pull down his sweats, unable to wait any longer. Changbin the hint and pulled down his sweats while peppering sweet kisses down your jaw. He pulled down his sweats and boxers enough, letting his cock spring out of their confines. You spread your legs wider and watched as he lined his cock to your entrance and slowly slid into warmth. He let out a groan as you tightly gripped him. As he botttomed you out he gripped your thick thighs until your calves were resting on his shoulders. The new position nearly took your breath away as you felt him everywhere, all you knew in the moment was Changbin. Before you knew it he was pounding into you. As he pressed you into the sofa cushion he hit that spot that made you dizzy. He hit over and over again making you unable to stop the loud, embarrassing noises that were coming from your mouth. He was usually so gentle with you and you could usually control any noises that wanted to come out but right now that was impossible. The position made for a pleasant friction on your bundle of nerves and with the way he repeatedly nudged that spot, you knew you weren’t going to last very long. It still surprised you how violently it hit as you let out a sound that you’ve never heard from your own lips, and your whole body tensed.  Changbin’s pace was now erratic as he chased his own high, his breath slightly laboured until you finally groaned. 

You lay there for a couple minutes as Changbin softly lifted himself off you, straightening your legs into a more comfortable position. As you lay with your eyes softly clothes feeling your body relax, you felt Changbin softly cleaning you asking ‘are you okay’ or ‘did I hurt you?” but you assured him you were great…better than ever.

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[princess-angele333]

GUYS GUYS GUYS i just shifted!!! I cant believe it!! Yesterday,ive been affirming "ill shift tonight and be back at 6 am tomorrow" so then after going to sleep i woke up in my room,right? A few things were different hut I didn't give it much thought (a few posters,some candles etc.) and i dressed up to go to school,right? Which,my closet also had some stuffi hadn't seen before but i was tryijg not to run late...and when i get there 2 dudes i REALLY wanted to talk to said they "were waiting" for me and started walking along side me and talking ab my fav video games!!! And atp I didn't understand what was going on UNTIL i saw myself in like a ,yk those doors that have a half clear square at the top?? YEAH IN THOSE and i looked like my dr self,(when making a script mentally and on paper i hadnt decided if i wanted look really different so i just wrote like clear skin,a bit longer lashes,longer layered wolfcut. With faceframing layers and red highlights) AND they were both constantly trying to like ask me all sorts of stuff like "did u sleep well" or "did u eat breakfast yet" and they went on to tell me ab a new game while i was standing there like 🧍🏻‍♀️so basically we ended up to the like market near to get breakfast,then i came home,and i noticed all sorts of things like i had his drawer full of makeup and skincare...anyway yeah i shifted FINALLY and ive been constantly trying for like a month and yesterday when affirming i wasnt really doing it like focusing on it and didn't really believe it at first,then my mind was like "im gonna shift tonight wether i like it or not ive had enough" and so yeah...ANYWAY IM SO HAPPY HEHEHE never give up no matter how much it takes dont worry youll get there!! Just stay persistently affirming even if you're not paying attention to it! Visualizing might help but you should really just do what feels right for u! I didn't even have a proper script for this dr yet i got there!its all about consistency and mindset! Do whatever feels right to u and come back to tell us the stories cause it's really motivating, especially for baby shifters who dont trust this yet (understandahle i didnt really either)

Anyway,im gonna shift to a jjk and another dr soon so stay persistent and don't let your past reality discourage you<333🎀

[save-the-villainous-cat]

may I request a really really really smart villain. but somehow the hero manages to outsmart them, and even though villain is completely dumbfounded, they find it incredibly hot???

gl, if you wish, but im fine with anything !!

“You’re scared,” the villain whispered. “I know what that feels like. I know what it can do to a person.”

Their fingertips traced the hero’s clavicle gently, as if they attempted to calm a startled deer by stoking it.

“It’s not a pleasant emotion. It certainly isn’t one anyone should be used to. So I’m curious, do you need my help?” the villain said. Their eyes scanned the hero curiously. Almost as if they could absorb everything about them just by looking at them.

Something about the hero seemed to pull them in, something seemed to fascinate them on a grand scale and the hero couldn’t tell if they loved the challenge or the attention.

“Would you mind?” the hero asked. They nodded towards the villain’s fingers on their body and clearly, the villain received their message. They pulled away and smiled. Curiosity seemed to be their big weakness.

“I apologise, of course. I’m fond of pretty things.”

“As every crow is.”

“That’s a compliment.” The hero didn’t answer. They knew the villain was toying with them; they were fully aware of their sweet words and their kind smile.

The villain wasn’t easy to understand and that was a big problem in this whole mess. Incompetent people proposed a threat to the city because of their lack of intelligence. They weren’t easy to understand, they were unpredictable.

Usually, the hero could argue with smart people, could get into their minds and understand their motives but the villain was a complete minefield. Their unpredictability came from several unrelated plans that intertwined and altogether made up a whole picture.

They were ten steps ahead. Always.

Suddenly, a missing professor, a burning bakery, a sick child and a stolen book were parts of a chain that would make sense to the hero much, much later. Ordinary things could play huge parts in these reaction chains, something they liked to call “controlled butterfly effect”. It made the hero think of all the details, all the little crimes in the city. It made them overanalyse every little conversation they had with the villain.

Was the villain giving them clues?

Was there a way to decipher these riddles?

How could anyone be at ten different places at the same time?

How was it possible to get information you’d have to torture out of people without actually talking to anyone at all?

“I’ll have to change my address for the third time this month,” the hero said. “You should apologise for that as well.”

“It’s not my fault you make it so easy for me.” The villain looked around the hero’s living room and in some weird and strange way, the hero felt superior to them, now that everything was done. It would’ve been foolish to say they were relieved. In fact, the villain was right. They were terrified. “New choice of plants, I see. You like orchids?”

“Why exactly are you here?” the hero asked. They assumed the villain knew about yesterday. They also assumed the villain was here to talk about that. “So you can make fun of me? Humiliate me in my own home?”

“Without an audience? Please, I thought you knew me.” The villain’s eyes found the hero’s again after what they deemed to be enough observation.

“You like it more intimate. You like it when it’s just us.” Now, the villain looked intrigued.

“Touché,” they said, almost as if the hero had defeated them with a single word. The hero wished it had been that easy.

“Again. Why are you here?” The hero crossed their arms in front of their chest. It was getting quite chilly in just a shirt and underwear.

In response, the villain took in a deep breath and sat down on the hero’s couch. They lounged.

“When Hannibal crossed the Alps, do you think he was scared? I mean, all that responsibility on his shoulders? It was dangerous, he could’ve lost his entire army.”

“Is this supposed to be some metaphor for me being Hannibal and you being…what? The Roman Republic?” the hero asked. Sometimes, it was laughable where the villain’s mind went. It was hard enough to keep up with them already but the amount of knowledge the hero acquired from talking to them alone was insane.

It was the type of learning experience that required failing repeatedly to get to the answer. The hero didn’t enjoy it.

But the villain only chuckled.

“I was trying to say that being determined and scared can coexist. You did something that demands great courage.” They tilted their head. “And yet, it is a very scary thing.”

With slow steps, the hero approached them until they were close enough. They sat down on the villain’s lap. Unsurprisingly, their nemesis didn’t protest.

They weren’t proud of what had happened, they weren’t proud of what they’d done.

“How can a person obtain information no one dares to whisper?” the hero asked. “How can that person receive it within seconds?”

“You tell me,” the villain said. An invitation. It would’ve been illogical to decline.

“You had two helpers. Someone who can teleport. Someone who can turn invisible. I don’t know how you convinced them but they were heroes once.”

The villain nodded.

“The Romans had to learn the hard way how important spies are. They learnt it from the Carthaginian. Like I learnt from you years ago,” the villain said. It was difficult to imagine that all this was the hero’s fault. “Now, tell me what you did when you found out.”

The hero was quiet until the villain’s palm brushed their thigh softly. The villain seemed unfittingly euphoric.

“I knew they wouldn’t be easy to keep in a cell.”

“So?”

“So I killed them.” The villain nodded.

“You killed them,” the villain agreed. “Did you know crows wait for other predators to tear open their prey?”

The hero waited. The villain wasn’t angry. They were fascinated. It hadn’t even occurred to the hero that this was the solution up until yesterday.

And still, even though this was a major success when it came to stopping the villain, it wasn’t satisfactory. Killing two of their own people hadn’t been pretty.

“Did you know curiosity killed the cat?” the hero asked back. Behind their back, they clenched their fist to stop their hand from shaking.

Within seconds, several red laser dots pointed at the villain. With the hero on their lap, pressing them into the couch, there wasn’t anywhere to go. The sharpshooters wouldn’t let the villain move a muscle.

And behind the shocked expression, the hero saw something they weren’t sure if they loathed or liked: a certain admiration for only them.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 70

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe: Military School

Words: 6K

TW: Smut

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Saturday, March 19th; 10:30 AM - At Lucy's place.

I sigh as I look at my study notes, which have taken over Lucy’s personal space. At least... if I can still call it that. I’ve slowly started filling it with my presence. Ever since I decided to move in after school, I’ve been bringing my stuff. I already brought a large suitcase from home last week, and I plan to do the same on our next trip to Barcelona. I’ll leave a few things there just in case, but most of it will be moved here. I should be resting, but I can’t. I was on the couch with Lucy, trying to start a series, but I didn’t last long. I was bored and felt useless. We’ve been moving around so much lately that I’m not used to staying still anymore. That’s how I ended up in this situation. I haven’t been feeling great lately, I must admit. I’m stressed out because of a few rejections I finally received from galleries. It’s only a small handful, but it’s unsettling. On top of that, I got feedback from Mr. Fields, and it wasn’t good. He’s not going to change his mind about his offer in Cardiff. I’m taking my time to give him an answer, but let’s just say I don’t want to accept it. And of course, our professors decided to schedule their exams for the two weeks before the break... That’s not helping my stress. I was about to start reading a new chapter when the sound of shuffling papers caught my attention. I look up to see Lucy gathering my notes that were scattered across the table.

- "What are you doing?" I asked, perplexed.

- "You’re unbelievable. No matter what I do, you always find something to cling to like a kind of drug when you start to lose control. Well... you know what I mean, right?" she backpedaled after realizing what she’d just said.

I smiled softly, crossing my arms as she continued to pile up my notes in her hands. For a moment, I wondered if she was respecting the order of my chapters or if I’d have to sort them all out later. Those thoughts quickly disappeared when she spoke again.

- "You need to detach yourself from studying, so we’re going out."

- "Really?" I raised an eyebrow.

- "Yes. You’re going to lose your mind if you keep studying this much."

I bit my lip as she held out her hand for me to give her the paper I was holding like my life depended on it.

- "I don’t think-"

- "Oh yes, it’s a great idea," she interrupted me. "Come on."

- "Fine..." I muttered, handing it over. "So, what do you have planned?"

- "We’re going to help the girls at the gym."

- "The gym...? You mean the studio?"

- "Yeah, the gym," she said, putting the stack of papers in my organizer. "I texted Jenni, and it seems they’re in the middle of renovations, so it’s the perfect time to lend a hand."

- "Alright..." I sighed.

I’m far from motivated, but it seems like it’s for a good cause.

- "Who’s there?"

- "Jenni, Aitana, Beth, and Alexia."

- "Alexia?" I repeated in surprise. "She didn’t tell me she was staying."

- "It wasn’t planned. Jenni hosted her last night. Their transport got canceled, apparently."

I raised an eyebrow. I’m really surprised she didn’t tell me, to be honest. Well, we haven’t talked since we parted ways yesterday.

- "What about Alba?"

- "As if I went that far in my questioning," she rolled her eyes. "You can ask her yourself in a few minutes. Go change first. Do you have any old clothes?"

- "Uh, no."

I blushed at the thought. I haven’t brought any of that yet. I prioritized what I wear regularly.

- "Well, I’ll have to find you something."

After getting ready, we were set to leave. I was wearing Lucy’s clothes, and nothing could make me happier. Surprisingly, traffic was light for a Saturday morning. The weather was warming up, finally allowing a few rays of sunshine to appear. Well, it wasn’t Barcelona’s twenty-five degrees, but I wasn’t going to complain. Seeing the outside world was doing me a lot of good, surprisingly. Lucy parked in the same spot as last time. I recognized Jenni’s car near ours. I assumed the other two cars belonged to the friends she had mentioned. I was excited to see them again. I hadn’t seen them since our trip to the Alps.

- "Are you mad at me?" I asked as she opened the rear door of the building for me.

- "Mad at you for what?"

- "For isolating myself whenever things get tough in my life instead of coming to talk to you..."

I turned to see her walking behind me. She met my gaze with a smile plastered on her face.

- "I’d be mad if it wasn’t so obvious, yes. But don’t worry, that’s not the case. I know you, and I know what’s bothering you right now. I’ll never force you to talk, but you know communication is important, and if you ever feel the need to talk, I’m here."

- "Thanks... I think I just need a hug right now."

- "Then I think I’ll offer my arms for that."

I laughed as I melted into her embrace when she opened her arms. In the end, I might be regretting the couch now. I’ll think about it next time. I sighed softly, inhaling her scent. It’s become my favorite. It’s fruity, yet soft, with a hint of coffee. It’s strange, but totally harmonious thanks to her natural body smell.

- « te amo," I murmured against her neck.

- « Te amo también, mi amor."

The doors to the main room creaked open a bit farther down. I didn’t even need to turn around to know, given how loud they were.

- "Ah, I knew I heard some noise!"

I turned around, recognizing Alexia’s voice. She had a huge, toothy smile. At least we could be sure she was happy to see us.

- "I’m so glad you’re here. We needed a bit more muscle around here. Don’t just stand there. We were waiting for you."

We walked over to greet her with a kiss on each cheek. We entered the room, where upbeat music filled the space. We greeted the guys as well, though it was less pleasant since their cheeks were sticky with sweat. It wasn’t surprising. They hadn’t slacked off this morning. They had already started tearing everything apart. The mirrors were dismantled, and the door on the right had been removed, revealing the hallway Lucy mentioned last time. If I remember correctly, the classrooms will be there.

- "Wow. Looks like you’ve made good progress," Lucy commented.

- "Yeah, pretty much," Aitana replied. "Jenni knows how to keep us motivated."

We laughed as she raised the beer she was drinking. A pack was lying in a corner, along with a few empty glass bottles. I wasn’t sure how long they’d been there, but it seemed like they’d been working since early this morning.

- "We didn’t know where to start, so we decided to tackle this area."

- "Yeah, yeah, it’s fine," Lucy said, making the same observation as me. "Have you started on the locker rooms yet?" she asked, glancing in the other direction.

- "No, that’s the next step," her best friend admitted.

- "Alright. Well, I think that’s a priority, along with the break room at the back. The furniture for those two rooms will arrive in a few weeks."

- "Okay, we’ll keep working on that then. We were just waiting for your orders, Commander."

Alexia and I stifled a laugh. It was quickly stopped by her mock-serious glare. Jenni gave us a knowing smile. After all, that nickname was here to stay. It suited her personality. But honestly, we couldn’t deny that we’d all be lost without her. Even now, she was playing the role of project manager.

- "Do you already have plans for how it’ll look?" I asked her.

- "Of course. We worked with an architect. Do you want to see the final design?"

- "Well, yeah!" I feigned offense that she hadn’t shown me yet.

- "Oh, sorry," she teased. "Jenni, where did you put the copies of the plans?"

"Uh, I think upstairs, in the office. We didn’t need them today. »

- Thank you.

- Can I come with you? Ale asks as I grab Lucy's hand.

- Yeah, sure, my girlfriend replies.

We head upstairs. Nothing has been touched here yet. I doubt much needs to be redone. It's a bit old, but it will just need a fresh coat of paint and probably some cleaning too. We stand at the front of the office while Lucy rummages through the drawers one by one.

- Ah, here they are.

She places them in front of us with a triumphant look. I smile, noticing how proud she is of her work. And she should be—it all looks fantastic. The color scheme is navy blue and white, with black aluminum accents like the entryway they plan to install. It gives an industrial vibe, a style I often see and love. At least I won’t worry about our tastes clashing if we ever decide to pick or even build a house together. Despite that, they've still kept the authenticity and charm of the stone walls.

- Do you like it? The plans can still be changed, but we can’t alter the major parts anymore.

She's talking fast, and her expression is a bit tense. Our opinions must matter a lot. I don’t answer right away, lingering over the locker room plans. There will be cabins on one side and showers on the other, with a small private stall for privacy. The idea is well thought out. Of course, there are also toilets. The color theme remains the same, and it looks like the mirrors they removed from the main room will be reused here.

- It’s great, I break the suspense first. What do you think?

- Same here, Ale responds. Honestly, you guys made excellent choices.

I continue examining the plans for the back area, where they plan to refresh the hallway. The toilets won’t be touched, but the break room will be completely redone. Again, the blue stands out, with minimalist furniture and a blue accent wall.

- That must have taken a lot of work, she adds.

- Quite a bit, yeah, but between weekends and my evenings at the dorm, we managed to make it happen.

The final plans are for the rooms reserved for common classes. I also notice a room marked as an office.

- What’s this room for? I ask, pointing to it.

- It’s for personal follow-ups. We thought it would be better to have a room that offers privacy.

- Why not use this office? I ask, gesturing to the one we’re standing in.

- We didn’t want members to have access to the back area. A sign will be put up saying it's staff-only. I don’t think people will linger here, but the idea isn’t to supervise them all the time. Plus, important documents and storage will be kept here.

I nod. It makes sense. At least they won’t have to worry about surveillance. I frown, lingering over the other classroom plans. Oddly enough, they seem very plain—just white walls, which is strange compared to the rest.

- Why won’t the classrooms be decorated?

- Ah, you noticed? I was wondering the same thing, Ale points out.

We both look up at Lucy. My question seems to have amused her.

- To be honest, Jenni and I talked about it for a while. We want you to handle the decor for those rooms.

I’m speechless. Ale gives me a big smile and pats my back in support.

- A-are you serious?

- Yeah! I’ve seen what you did with your room in Barcelona. You’re totally capable of this. I was going to ask you about it—I just hadn’t had the chance yet. These rooms don’t need repairs, just renovation and decoration, so there’s no rush. What do you think? Will you take it on?

- Of course she’ll accept! Ale exclaims. That would be awesome!

I blush, flattered that she thought of me for this task.

- Yeah, sure… I think I can do that if you really want me to. Do you have any ideas already?

- Not really, she admits. We held off so you’d have the freedom to imagine what you want. But we can give you some suggestions if you prefer.

- Honestly, you caught me off guard, I chuckle nervously. We’ll have to talk more about it.

She smiles knowingly, and I think I understand. My little guess was right.

- If it becomes your next obsession, that’s fine with me.

I roll my eyes, laughing. Alexia watches us, not fully understanding the situation but wisely choosing not to intrude, sensing it’s a private conversation between us.

- Well, how about we go help the others? That’s what we’re here for, right?

That’s how we spent the rest of the day, helping our friends. Lucy was right. I needed to see something different, to enjoy life. I was happy to spend time with them. Everything was done in good spirits. The girls were demolishing things while we, the girls, were in charge of loading the van Jenni rented with the old furniture. We made several trips to the nearest dump. It took most of our time because of the traffic, but it was fun. We also went to the mall across the street to restock water and beer since we were running low. It’s really convenient having a building like that so close. I’m sure it’ll attract a lot of people—after all, everyone goes to the mall, so they won’t miss the gym’s sign. One thing’s for sure: we laughed a lot throughout the day. I was finally able to forget about my life for a while. Lucy and Alexia got along so well. I’m even starting to wonder if she might prefer Alexia to Mapi. I guess I’ll never know. It’s not something Lucy would admit, knowing her. By the end of the afternoon, we’d cleared out the break room. Lucy promised the guys we’d come back next week to help with the locker rooms, which are much bigger. In any case, I was happy to be there. At least I knew I’d be doing something other than studying. Our friends suggested we stay for dinner, and we agreed. We ended up at a pizza place nearby. Something tells me we’ll become regulars there. They serve pizzas, but also pasta dishes. Tonight, we all had pizza. Lucy and I ordered two different ones so we could share. They were excellent, but next time I think I’ll try the pasta to see if it’s as good. 

The day came to an end. We said our goodbyes late at night before everyone headed home. Surprisingly, I wasn’t as exhausted when we left as I’d been when we arrived. Lucy seemed to feel the same way.

- We could make cookies, I suggested.

- Cookies? she laughed. Why cookies?

- Well, we’re not tired. Might as well do something productive. We could bring them to the girls tomorrow. They’d love that.

- Wow... why not? But I’m not sure I have everything we need, she said, already checking her cupboards.

- Well, how about a chocolate cake then? You must have some chocolate, right?

Lucy laughed and finally pulled out a bar of dark chocolate.

- Yes, I do. That’s doable.

- Cool! Let’s get to work, then.

I rolled up my sleeves, making Lucy laugh.

- Slow down, master chef. Start by washing your hands.

- You just had to kill my enthusiasm, huh? I said with a playful pout.

- No, I’m teaching you. A good chef knows you always wash your hands before starting, she teased with a wink.

I laughed but followed her advice. After everything we did today, it wasn’t exactly sanitary to start cooking without cleaning up first.

- Maybe we should shower before starting, huh? We’ve been sweating all day.

- No, I’d lose my motivation, I admitted.

- True, you’re right. Alright, let’s get to work.

After washing her hands too, she pulled out a cookbook. I had to admit, I’d never made a chocolate cake before. I felt a little embarrassed because it’s such a basic thing.

- So, I’ll read the ingredients, and you get them out.

- Maybe it makes more sense to do it the other way around, right? Since you know where everything is.

- Alright, if you say so, she teased.

I list the ingredients for her, and she places them on the countertop. It's time to begin. She preheats the oven, and then we get to work. Everything is done with a cheerful mood. Nothing is too serious. She has me follow the recipe, pouring the ingredients into a bowl, while she takes care of melting the butter and chocolate over a bain-marie.

"Why don't you just use the microwave, since you have one?" I teased.

"I prefer doing it this way. It's how I was taught. It's supposed to be better. Plus, no microwaves involved."

"Hmm... if you say so."

I dip my finger into the melted mixture and bring it to my mouth once everything has melted, abandoning my bowl that's been ready for a while.

"Hey, don’t touch that."

"We could totally eat this as is too."

"Unless you want a stomachache, sure, we can," she teased.

I pouted to show my dissatisfaction.

"My grandmother used to forbid me from eating the batter like that, but she always let me lick the bowl at the end," I shared.

"Well, you can lick the bowl too if you want," she laughed. "Alright, all that's left is to mix everything together. Do you want to handle it?"

"Can you do it? I never managed to do it right when I was a kid."

"You've grown up since then, you know?" she teased. "Come on, you'll do it."

She tugged on the sleeve of my sweater to pull me in front of her. I frowned but took the whisk and mixed our two bowls together. Lucy finished up when she noticed my movements were slowing down. Smiling playfully, I dabbed my finger in the mix and smeared it on her face. Lucy gasped in surprise.

"You dared!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I moved closer to lick her cheek, trying to erase the evidence. Lucy backed away immediately, but it was too late—I had already cleaned it up. She wiped her face with her sleeve.

"Oh, so you want to play, huh?"

She dipped her fingers into the batter, and I laughed as she pinned me against the counter before I could escape. She slowly dragged her fingers from my forehead to my chin, smearing the rest down my neck.

"Come on, that’s over the top," I giggled.

"What? I’m just going to clean it up like you did," she said mischievously.

I tried to wriggle out of her grip, but it was a lost cause. She was holding me too tightly, her body fully pressed against mine. There was no way out.

"It's my turn to get even," she whispered before kissing my forehead.

I kept laughing as she continued her "clean-up" down my nose. I had stopped resisting. I was the one who had started the playful mess, so I wasn't going to stop her. Things got more intense when she reached my lips. She lingered particularly long where the last bit of chocolate had been. We kissed, devouring each other’s mouths, before she moved down to my chin. Our eyes locked with heavy intensity. A warmth stirred deep in my stomach. It had been a long time since anyone had looked at me with such desire. I bit my lip as she moved even lower after finishing with my chin. She ended up at my neck, and I realized why she had smeared so much chocolate there. 

Breathing shallowly, I closed my eyes. She knew exactly what she was doing. I gripped the counter behind me to keep my balance. She alternated between using her tongue, sucking, and giving soft kisses. A moan escaped my lips, and I immediately covered my mouth with my hand. I realized she had just bitten the edge of my collarbone. She lifted her head to meet my eyes again. The knot in my stomach tightened even more. There was a delicious tension in the air. She wanted me—it was clear from her eyes. We stayed in that position for a moment, neither of us breaking the silence that was filled with meaning. It was now or never. She was waiting for me to react, but I didn’t know what to do. Inside, I was panicking, but I wanted this. I could feel it in every part of me. When she started to pull back, I couldn’t let it end like that. I grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her passionately. I needed her. My move surprised her, and she leaned into me with her full weight. We were dangerously close to breaking apart. We devoured each other with our eyes, silently asking what was next.

“I want this,” I whispered. “Please.”

I was grateful she hadn’t asked the question first. I preferred making the choice myself. She appreciated my response, as I could tell by the low growl that escaped her throat.

“Are you sure…?” she asked.

I nodded as I returned to her lips. I could feel her smile as my arms wrapped around her neck, pulling her closer. I heard her chuckle when she suddenly lifted me off the ground. Her lips didn’t give me time to cry out.

“It’s all for you tonight, Princess,” she whispered, attacking my neck again.

Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around her waist and tilted my head to the side. I never knew where she got her strength from, but I wasn’t surprised anymore. She paused for a moment at the edge of the kitchen, and I realized she was turning off the oven. Then, expertly, she returned to my neck as we headed down the hallway. I didn’t even notice what was happening around us before I was pinned against the wall of our bedroom. That thought alone heightened my excitement. Lucy’s hips ground against my most sensitive spot, and if I wasn’t sure before, I could now feel the dampness there. I would have loved for her to come back to my lips to muffle the sounds I could barely contain. Lucy must have noticed because she stopped her sweet torture on my neck, which was probably well-marked by now. She knew it was one of my weak points. Her warm breath sent shivers down my body. She nibbled on my earlobe before whispering:

“Don’t hold back your pleasure, baby,” she murmured. “I want to hear you. I need to know how you’re feeling.”

After her words, she hit just the right spot, and I couldn’t hold back the sound that escaped my lips. Damn.

"That's much better," she teased with a playful smile. "No more holding back, okay?"

I squeaked as she continued to tease between my legs with her hips, punishing me with waves of pleasure, eliciting more moans. Unable to form words, I nodded to show I understood. She didn’t give me a chance to react or even think about it—probably for the best. She kissed me again, more softly this time, as she carried me to our bed. My heart raced as her hands wandered under my sweater. I lifted my arms to help her remove the barrier that seemed to be bothering her. Her lips wanted to return to my now burning body, but I held her back for a moment.

“I-I want to see you too, please.”

My voice was fragile, pleading in the moment. Lucy laughed softly but nodded. For the first time, she gave me a bit of space, sitting up on top of me.

"You don’t have to ask, you know. You just need to undress me..."

I smiled timidly and pulled off her sweater, tossing it somewhere in the room.

"You don’t really give me the time," I teased her.

She laughed, and to my surprise, she quickly removed her bra, letting it join the pile of clothes. I was mesmerized by the sight before me. Lucy was a stunning woman. I still wondered what I had done to deserve her...

"Is this better?" she murmured.

I nodded, bringing my gaze back to hers. I blushed, knowing she had caught me staring.

"Go ahead," she whispered. "Don’t be shy. Everything is yours, my love."

With a touch of shyness, I brought my hand to her left breast. She shivered slightly at the contact. I noticed her watching me with a small smile. I lingered on her perfect chest. It wasn’t too large or too small. As soon as my finger grazed her nipple, it hardened instantly, a clear sign that her excitement matched mine. I finally looked back up into her eyes, and she nodded, giving me silent permission. I gently cupped her breast, caressing it more fully. I had been waiting for this moment for so long. It fit perfectly in my palm. I took my time. I wanted to explore every inch of her body. I rolled us over so that I was on top. With my occupied hand, I continued to caress her more confidently. My other hand supported me as I leaned down to focus on her other breast with my mouth. I kissed every part I could, even letting my tongue trail over certain spots. My excitement was building fast, and it seemed Lucy’s was too, given how she squirmed beneath me. I gained confidence as she didn’t hold back her sounds. The most intense moment came when I sucked her nipple hard. I wanted to take my time, to savor the moment, but that clearly wasn’t in her plans. Her hands quickly found their way to my back. The need to feel her bare skin against mine prompted me to let her undress me too. I gasped when she suddenly flipped us over, letting our chests press against each other for the first time after she had removed my last piece of clothing from the top.

- I said it was for you tonight. I intend to keep my promise.

- Bab-

I don’t have time to protest before she returns to my lips, my neck, and finally my chest. She kisses me everywhere, her tongue joining the dance from the start. I close my eyes to savor the sensation I had almost forgotten. With Feli, everything was quick. She didn’t linger on foreplay, preferring to get straight to the point. Experiencing such tenderness again brings tears to my eyes. Lucy, unaware of my tears, continues her torment, alternating between each breast with her hand or her mouth. She’s everywhere, for my perfect pleasure. It’s when she moves back up towards me that she notices my state.

- Hey, what’s wrong? We can stop if it’s too much for you.

- N-no, don’t... D-don’t stop, p-please.

Despite myself, tears come in streams. I didn’t want to ruin this moment. Not in any way. Lucy slides her fingers under my eyelids, as she has become accustomed to doing.

- D-don’t stop, please, I beg her.

She kisses me tenderly. This gesture calms me a bit. I return her sweet kisses, adding more passion to the next ones. She reignites the flame with her hands continuing to caress my chest.

- It’s going to be okay, she whispers. Tell me what I should do. Or show me if you prefer.

I nod and try to stop my tears once and for all. She still wants me, even with my disheveled mind and the tears that must have affected my appearance. My heart burns as much as my body. I linger my hands on her jeans, struggling with her belt with my trembling hands. I want to go faster, and Lucy chuckles at my sudden impatience.

- Okay, wait. Slow down.

She lifts herself to help me undress her. We soon find ourselves both in just our underwear, warm as embers after multiple caresses and kisses. Everything is soft. Lucy returns to my chest, now as marked by her as my neck. Her body fits perfectly with mine, moving slowly, making sure our thighs touch each other. I press against her from time to time, without realizing it. She was heating me up, and my desire quickly becomes too powerful and uncontrollable. Then comes the moment I was most apprehensive about. She starts to move down, but by reflex, I pull her back towards me.

- Relax, darling. Trust me.

I let her go with those simple words after a final exchanged kiss. She kisses my stomach first to tease me, though I was already at my limit. To make things difficult, I don’t make it easy for her. I squirm, though I have to keep my stomach contracted the entire time. I recognize some places where she lingers. They are where my scars are. I also flinch when she playfully nibbles. Then, she stops when she reaches my last piece of underwear. Surprisingly, she doesn’t remove it. She prefers to go lower, starting again from my knee. It’s too much. It tickles, as I am sensitive there. I try to close my thighs together, but Lucy holds them open with a laugh.

- Stop torturing me, I reply in a short breath.

- Come on, baby. You won’t escape this, she teases, continuing her trail of kisses. I want to kiss every part of your body.

I moan as she continues inside my thighs. Damn. I can’t resist much longer.

- P-promise me you’ll come back up after, I beg. I want you with me.

I don’t want to be the only one having pleasure tonight. I don’t know what she had planned, but I want us to come together for our first time.

- Alright, she murmurs against my warm skin. I promise.

She continues her path gradually, passing over my legs. I don’t remember being this sensitive here. I can’t stay still. Lucy keeps me pinned down with one hand on my stomach and the other on my thigh. I can’t close them or escape. She understands that she needs to hold them firmly to achieve her goal. A goal she eventually reaches. I don’t even dare to look down. All I know is that my panties must be quite wet in her eyes. I feel the coolness as Lucy breathes on it to tease me.

- Look at me.

I do so with difficulty. Seeing her at my center, holding my legs, makes my stomach churn. I’m struggling to realize that this is happening. The woman who, a few months ago, was tormenting me with training sessions to bring me down to earth, is now between my legs. I don’t protest when she pulls on the waistband of my black lace thong. I don’t know what possessed me to wear it this morning, but I’m thankful now. She does it gently to give me time to push her away if needed, but I don’t. Especially not in my state. I want her. Now. Still, she takes wicked pleasure in driving me crazy like she did a few minutes ago with her kisses.

- Luce, I complain.

- Oh, are you impatient now?

I move my hips as she has long since removed my last barrier. She gazes at me, and I blush. I thought I would feel vulnerable when this happened, but the way she looks at me makes me melt. With a smile, she teases my clitoris with her finger.

- I should make you beg.

- Y-you wouldn’t dare!

- And why not?

She plays with me and even dares to laugh. I plan to get my revenge when it’s her turn. As if she could read my thoughts, she dives right into my center to kiss it. I can still feel her smile. Just from the contact, I moan loudly. Her tongue takes over before she sucks on my sensitive skin. I cry out, propping myself up on my elbows at the sensation.

- Oh, fuck!

I can feel Lucy’s smile again. She doesn’t say anything, just pulls me down with her arm. I let myself fall back, closing my eyes. The sensation is exquisite. I had forgotten what it felt like to experience such pleasure. Her tongue explores every inch of my little garden, eliciting more than one moan or cry of pleasure. I cling to the sheets as best I can to avoid pulling her hair. If she had been at my level, her back would be covered in scratches. She mixes it with some sucking before going even lower. It’s the last straw. My moans fill the room, and I quickly grab her hair. I no longer know if I want to restrain her or pull her away. My head isn’t in the game anymore, and Lucy takes wicked pleasure in building the pressure in my stomach. I’ve never felt such pleasure before. When I reach my peak, I pull her hair. She quickly understands the message, finishing the moment with a final little kiss before coming back up. The absence of her mouth is already replaced by her hand. My own can now scratch her back. With my other hand, I quickly venture under her completely wet underwear. A short breath escapes her. It’s my turn to leave her with no opportunity. I take her lips, covered in my moisture. We caress each other while kissing. When she inserts a finger into me, I have to break the connection.

- O-oh my God.

I contract around her finger, no longer used to such presence. Lucy, who had started moving, stops immediately.

- Are you okay? she murmurs with concern.

- Y-yes! Don’t stop.

Understanding the meaning of my positive reaction, she waits for me to relax before adding a second finger. She doesn’t give me time to think and starts a gentle rhythm. I’m tense at first, but pleasure soon takes over as she speeds up. I realize I’ve fallen behind on my end. I have to concentrate fully to reciprocate. It’s intense. We are making love. The room echoes with our sounds. Lucy manages to find my lips to seal them together one last time. I struggle to return the kiss. My focus is much lower. Especially as our last acceleration takes its toll on us. We scream one final time in unison when we climax. I’m overwhelmed by her intensity. My teeth sink into Lucy’s shoulder, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. She’s in the same state as me, against my neck. The room eventually quiets down, with only our ragged breathing filling the space. It took us both a moment to recover. She’s the first to remove her fingers before I do. I’m exhausted, and my eyelids have become heavy. Still, I remain awake. Lucy kisses me one last time before getting up. I watch her carefully as she removes her underwear that had stayed on until the end. It must be quite a mess now. She pulls back the covers, and with a tremendous effort, I slip underneath. She immediately joins me, wrapping her arms around me. I smile, realizing what just happened.

- I love you, I murmur.

- I love you even more, she whispers, kissing my temple. Have sweet dreams, my love.

Under her words, I finally let myself drift off to sleep.

[springwitch26]

hots for teacher (melissa schemmenti x fem!reader)

part 2

summary: you've been infatuated with melissa schemmenti ever since you worked under her as a student teacher. what will happen when you meet again a few years later?

warnings: NSFW content, implied future smut (part 2 on the way??), praise kink, age gap idk

notes: hi everyone! my name is april, and this is my first ever fanfiction. i wrote this for fun and then decided to share it with the community, because i love the little gay women in my phone! i've been reading fics on tumblr for as long as i've been on the internet, so this is a strange experience for me. anyway, enjoy, and let me know what you guys think!

tonight you looked sexy, and you knew it. you wore a sinfully short black dress with colorful butterflies. it was one of your favorites; it showed just the right amount and hugged just the right places to be tantalizing. your eyes were painted with thin black wings and soft, glittery eyeshadow that made you look like a sweet dream. your lips glistened and your hair was tied up in two dutch braids. you were a vision.

all this meant that you were not the least bit surprised when a deep, sultry female voice sounded from behind where you sat at the bar.

"it should be illegal to look like that in public."

you smiled coyly and turned around to face the stranger.

"why? see something you like?" when you turned to face her, however, you were met with a familiar face. it was a face you'd seen in your dreams time after time: your former boss, melissa schemmenti.

you had been assigned to work with melissa as a student teacher while you were in school for your teaching certification. at the time, she was teaching two grades simultaneously, so she was grateful to have you there to ease the burden. it didn't hurt that you were always so eager to please. you wanted to learn and become the best teacher you could be.

of course, your motives weren't entirely pure. you were attracted to melissa from the moment you saw her. you remembered it like it was yesterday: her flaming red hair was slightly messy from trying to wrangle her double class, and her glasses sat askew on her nose. then you came along and turned everything around. she would give you to-do lists, and you would finish them before lunchtime the same day.

"great job, hon! you're so good, don't know what i'd do without you..." she'd say each time, beaming with pride at her new prodigee.

"o-of course, ms. schemmenti. what else can i do for you?" you'd respond, blushing profusely at the praise and struggling to hold her intense gaze.

within a week of having you, melissa was caught up on all her work. she couldn't help but feel like you were an angel, or some kind of gift from god. whatever you were, she cherished you. as the two of you spent more time together, she started to want you more and more. every project, every conversation, every smile you two shared only added to your chemistry.

she had fun with it--teasing you with special pet names and praise, watching you get all flustered and squirmy. she knew you liked her back. you weren't the most subtle about your desire.

melissa would never act on her feelings, though. you were a doe-eyed twenty-something with big dreams, and she was your much older boss. getting involved with you would be too messy. but she always held out hope, even after you left abbott, that one day you'd meet again.

you studied melissa's sly smirk for a moment, in disbelief at your luck. it had been two years since you left abbott. you had your own big girl job now, and you were a bit more mature. there was nothing stopping you from acting on your desires.

"oh my god, ms. schemmenti! please, have a drink with me. it's been a while." you hoped you didn't sound too desperate, although you definitely looked desperate once you got a good glance at her.

her look was striking. your breath hitched in your throat as you scanned her form, dressed in red leather pants and a button-down shirt. her arms were visibly muscled, even through the jacket. the black button-down shirt she wore was unbuttoned just enough to tease her cleavage. around her waist was a thick black belt that you wanted to pull on. her fiery hair was tied back haphazardly in a high ponytail, just messy enough to be sexy. and her hands—god, her fingers were long and ringed and—

"whatever you say, kid," she shrugged and sat down next to you, giving you a playful smile. "and you can call me melissa now."

she had a mischievous glint in her eye, probably knowing how you felt just by the wanton way you stared at her. when she sat down beside you, you felt your whole body heat up. your thighs were almost touching from the proximity, and you could smell her intoxicating perfume with each inhale. feeling her body so close to yours had you more drunk than the alcohol. it didn't help that her eyes now roamed over your body shamelessly, taking in your glistening lips and lingering on your soft cleavage. you tried your best to play it cool.

you talked for a while, catching up on everything. you told her about your new job at a suburban elementary school, your volunteer tutoring on the weekends, your summers in the mountains. she beamed with pride hearing of your accomplishments.

"that's great, y/n! sounds like you're goin' places."

"thank you! i think i owe a lot of my success to my student teaching experience—everyone at abbott was great, including you. especially you," you looked at her with an intense gaze, feeling your desire catch up with you.

"you were such a passionate mentor. you just had this way of getting me excited..." you trailed off as you fixated on the stirrings of a smirk on her face.

"...excited about learning," you finished shakily.

"mm-hmm," she chuckled.

maybe it was the alcohol, or the simple fact that she was right next to you and seemingly devouring you with her eyes, but you became bolder then. you only had one shot at this.

"i mean, you really touched me in a way that nobody else could," you leaned in, dragging out your syllables for emphasis. "i worked so hard because i just needed to be good for you."

now she was the one shuddering. you had the upper hand, if only for a moment. but she quickly got her boldness back.

"i noticed that. always so bright and attentive. i bragged to all the other teachers about what a good girl you were." to top it all off, she punctuated her sentence by placing her hand firmly on your knee.

you thought you were going to explode right then and there. your skin erupted in goosebumps at her touch, and you spread your legs ever so slightly to indicate your consent. her face split into a smug grin and she began to crawl her fingers up your thigh, agonizingly slowly.

your response came as a shaky whisper. you were sure you must have soaked through your panties just from her teasing touches.

"it's good to know that you thought so highly of me. i looked up to you a lot," you said sheepishly. "um, i'm a bit embarrassed to admit it, but i did have a bit of a crush on you..."

"oh, yeah. that doesn't surprise me. don't be embarrassed, hon. you can't help what you feel," her hand had stalled at the midpoint of your thigh, and she looked at you with sincerity.

"it doesn't surprise you?" you asked, struggling to get the words out once she resumed stroking your thigh.

"i had my suspicions," she said with a knowing smirk. "i'm sharper than i look, ya know."

her darkened eyes sent shivers down your spine. you felt your core heat up at the humiliation of knowing she knew exactly what you thought about her.

"am i that obvious?" you asked, somewhat breathily.

"oh, sweetheart," she laughed. she leaned in close and you could smell her perfume, feel the warmth of her breath on your skin. her fingers pinched the skin of your thigh as she whispered to you. "you sat five feet away from me for months, always wearin' those little black skirts. you think i didn't see you rub your thighs together every time i gave you praise?"

her hand now caressed your inner thigh softly, teasingly. you failed to respond, trying to process her words but finding yourself unable to do anything but whimper almost silently.

"so soft here. mhmm," she husked into your ear. there was a hint of giddiness in her voice, as if she was pleased with herself for taking you apart so easily. "does that feel good, princess? do you like it when i touch you?"

"yes!" you said, almost too loudly for the public setting. "yes, i like it very much."

"good," she whispered as her fingers found the edge of your panties. your thighs spread even wider, and you let out a small gasp.

"we've got lots more to catch up on, don't we?" she continued, her fingers drawing feather-light circles over your clit through the fabric. you wondered if she could feel you throbbing for her. your hips bucked up to meet her hand, and she slapped your thigh in warning. "if you wanna keep talkin', we can head back to mine..."

you turned to her with big, glazed-over eyes. still whimpering, you nodded rapidly, earning a laugh from the older woman. she grabbed your hand and guided you out of the packed bar.

"i'm gonna wreck you, hon," she mumbled without looking back at you.