#i feel like a useless person but a friend usually reminds me that's better than being actively malevolent | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vasito-de-leche · 7 months ago

Note

a little prompt, if you don’t mind

what about mercenary!reader and symbiote!Pavia? it’s just Pavia’s ult/wolves kinda remind me of Venom and i think it would be fun to imagine him being something like Venom

;R1999 PAVIA - "under your skin"

Symbiote!Pavia x Mercenary!Reader 2.5k words body horror What you and Pavia have is nothing more than transactional—you need him to make a living, and he needs you alive to ensure a comfortable life. It's taken some time to get used to these changes, to share everything you have with him for the sake of convenience: your home, your food, your job. And most importantly, your body. Perfect symbiosis, or dysfunctional parasitism? You've yet to figure out where you two stand. One thing is clear, though; he's the best at getting under your skin.

i just want you to know that this prompt speaks to MY SOUL bc i love venom and pavia so fucking much. you dont understand how hard i think about the concept of a symbiotic relationship between symbiote and host. so I went extremely self-indulgent with this one <3

as usual, this is written to be read as platonic or romantic, whatever floats your boat!

Bang!

A clean kill.

The only reason you watch as the body drops to the ground is out of respect for the work you do, nothing else. You've done this a dozen times, and you will do it a dozen more -- the gun in your hand has become a reliable friend rather than a tool for mindless murder, its familiar weight a fleeting comfort in the tedious routine. A shame it came from the most annoying person you know.

Screaming ensues as everyone surrounding your target runs around in panic. You remain, eyes locked on the target. When someone moves their body, attempting to cradle that lifeless corpse, you see it; a bullet right between their eyebrows, the perfect shot.

You feel a tug, but it comes from within your chest cavity. Something squirms inside you, pulling you back, and you understand this as your cue to slide back into the shadows. It begins with a single step backwards, then another, until you feel the texture under your shoes shift -- what was once solid ground is now a dark, velvety mass, floating upwards and fading away like smoke. It licks at your ankles, providing an initially cold sensation that permeates your clothes, and then it continues upwards to your calves, your knees, your thighs. The gun slowly dissolves into slime, taking the shape of what you assume to be a hand, horrible and sticky fingers intertwined with yours, pulling you downwards.

By then, you feel that burning sensation, and then you're dragged into the abyss.

"That was a lousy shot."

A voice echoes in your mind, it is not your own. It feels like a thousand ants marching alongside your cranium. Or rather, what you assume to be your cranium -- in this current state, you can't separate yourself from the embrace of the void. The voice might as well reverberate all around you.

You scoff and insist. No, it was a perfect shot.

"Perfect my ass. You were off by 2 centimeters," the biting remark makes you clench your jaw. You don't reply. The voice does the same, it remains still, only a semblance of white noise, but you understand its silence as a smug victory.

Suddenly, vertigo takes hold of you. It only happens for a split second, always unannounced, but you know better than to brace yourself. Doing so, as you've learned, would only make you nauseous, dizzy and weak -- instead, you let go and the shadows gently coax you back into the light before dissipating in the air.

You find yourself in front of your apartment door, an odd and anticlimactic way of ending a productive day. What, no snack run today?

"Not feeling it today. So you either open the door on your own, or I'll do it myself. Get a move on."

Some of these threats tend to hold more water than others, but more often than not, they're just empty words and loud, useless barking. And so you've learned to ignore them all -- however, you feel a faint prodding inside your back pocket, like a tentacle in search of something. Right, your keys. The roll of your eyes and the slowness in your movements are the only means of rebellion you have against this annoying entity in your head, it continues to breathe down your neck, impatient as ever, until the door opens and you step into your safe haven.

"Finally! Guess there's some activity in that brain dead head of yours."

You're forced to make a bee-line for the kitchen and the fridge, puppeteered by a force much more stronger, much more ancient than every insignificant emotion you've ever felt: the damn parasite inside of you is hungry.

As you both scan the leftovers -- your leech of a roommate seeing through your eyes, smelling through your nose -- the voice returns, this time in a more playful tone, less grating than before.

"Scusi, what's with the silent treatment today?" You bite the inside of your cheek and it laughs at you. "Don't tell me, wolf got your tongue? Are you mad that I saw right through your poor, shitty technique?"

A suffocating presence crawls inside you, starting from somewhere below your rib cage and making its way upwards through your esophagus and trachea, shifting until you feel the prodding of cold, slimy fingers in your mouth. They are tasteless and you can still breathe, your body not even bothering to perceive this as an obstruction or an intruding force that must be coughed and spat out. They are careless in their movements, pinching the tip of your tongue and pushing against your clenched teeth in an attempt to get you to open up.

And the worst part is that this is nothing but a mocking gesture, you've come to understand this over the years. To you, this is no different than someone poking at your sides, childishly asking for your attention. You obediently open, enough for a single digit to slip out, one you recognize as the middle finger. It presses down on your lower lip.

And then you bite down, hard.

It dissipates instantly, it is absorbed back into your body through every inch of skin it makes contact with. There is a new sound in the back of your mind, one you weren't quite expecting. Your parasite laughs, amused, no trace of that usual condescending tone.

"Good, you still know how to use that petty mouth of yours. I don't have to worry about teaching you how to chew down your food."

This makes you stand up straight, turning your head and glaring at an empty space, where you assume this presence would manifest if it chose to stop taking residence in your body, "I'm not eating while you're still in there. If you want dinner, then get out."

There is a beat, a momentary silence. You don't give the parasite any time to bargain, "I'm serious. Use your own damn mouth if you're so hungry. I already have to do everything on my own, I'm not going to start spoon feeding you, too!"

The reply comes out faster than you expected.

"Fine."

For a moment, your vision doubles and your body feels like it's being painlessly torn apart. For a moment, you have two sets of eyes, two sets of arms, two sets of legs and two minds. You are both yourself and him, simultaneously. It is like someone is cutting your soul in half, shoving each part into two different bodies.

It is over in the blink of an eye, and there is a presence looming behind you, made from the same material that took you here, the same material that often travels in your veins and every other crevice, nook and cranny available between your organs and bones. The lights of your apartment flicker, and you take notice of his shadow cast over you.

His predatory gaze burns holes in the back of your head, and in the stillness of it all, you hear his steps, the sound his leather pants and the shifting of his shirt fabric as he steps closer -- until you feel his chest against your back. An arm slides into view, closing the door to the fridge and resting there, preventing you from escaping. It is decorated with all the useless, silver jewelry he's taken from your targets, a hand covered with tattoos you've often traced with your very own fingers in the past.

Oddly enough, you do not feel like prey. Not anymore. Your instinct tells you that you should, but truth be told, you could not care less. Especially when you feel his chin dig into the top of your head, his weight pressing lazily on you.

"…But in exchange, I'm cooking tonight. You got 10 seconds to get outta here." He shifts, and his cheek nuzzles into you as he yawns, like he's ready to move on from this conversation.

"Huh?" You slide from under him, finally looking at the parasite concealing as a man -- one you recognize as the bane of your existence, Pavia. "Uh, like hell I'm trusting you with the food! I've seen the stuff you put on your pizza."

"Like you're one to talk! You add too much salt to everything you make. If you wanted to ruin your liver, you should've just let me eat it from day one. 5 seconds left before I throw you out. C'mon."

"Do you even know how to cook? Any actual recipes that don't require winging everything?"

"Does pasta with a side of 'mind your fucking business or I'll make us eat rat poison' sound good to you?"

"I swear if you put anything funny in the food--…"

"Time's up. Out!" Pavia picks you up, manhandles you even, and tosses you out into the living room. As soon as you land on the couch, the door to the kitchen closes and you're left all alone.

It's easy to forget that you have no fucking clue as to who or what Pavia even is.

No last name, no records, no personal information at all. You've touched him before—he looks and feels just like any other person. If you didn't know any better, you could've sworn he bleeds the same way you do. But there are times when that outer layer of normalcy is peeled back just enough to remind you what you're dealing with. Sometimes, the outline of his form darkens, as if the light around him couldn't affect him in any way, and his eyes go dark, so very dark.

You've seen him in this form, unhinging his jaw to uncomfortable degrees and revealing endless sets of saw-like fangs and teeth. His nails have grown longer, thicker and sharper than expected in many occasions. You would find those on the ground, like a wild dog who has never known, let alone needed, a trimmer.

And most importantly, you've allowed him entry to every pore of your body, every piece of cartilage, every muscle, every vein.

That's when you get a small glimpse into the eldritch monstrosity living under your roof—sometimes, he's a thick fog. Sometimes, he's an oozing pile of slime. Sometimes, he's the big, bad wolf. Sometimes, you can't even understand what you're looking at when he manifests in front of you. Regardless, you're certain of something.

Pavia is darkness, eternal and haunting as the night.

He is also a huge, ungrateful, bastard.

"Hey! Where'd you leave the gelato!? This freezer's a damn mess!" His voice is heard, muffled. It doesn't carry the same cadence and weight as it does when you hear it from within your mind. He sounds more annoying, in fact.

It's a strange experience, to have him coexist right beside you as if he weren't some sort of parasite, one hair away from eating your organs. But at least like this, he cannot read your mind nor attempt to puppet your body like a moron in broad daylight. You don't answer, fully aware that he's only trying to piss you off and lure you into another argument -- as if he'd ever lose sight of his precious dessert, anyway. Instead, you busy yourself with the usual routine; finishing what is left of your work, contact your employers and whatnot.

Soon enough, the kitchen door opens and Pavia slides into the room with a single plate of warm food. You look at him, eyes wide in indignation. Oh, he wouldn't …

"Huh? What, I thought you didn't trust me to cook, so I just made something for myself. There's some leftovers from your poor excuse of a lasagna, though." The smarmy expression plastered all over his face as he licks the sauce off his spoon is unbearable, and you rush to the kitchen either to find the biggest knife to drive into his chest or to resign yourself and eat those leftovers.

And then you see it, another plate resting by the counter. Full of delicious looking pasta.

Son of a bitch.

"Bring me some of that orange juice you bought yesterday while you're in there, yeah?" Pavia never gives you time to settle down, demanding your attention and your frustration time and time again, unable to form a single coherent thought nor opinion about him.

He's annoying, that's all you've been able to figure out so far.

He's annoying, and he's made a mess out of your kitchen to cook this meal for both of you. He's annoying, and stingy when it comes to sharing his favorite snacks and desserts, but he never attempts to steal your own. He's annoying, and he offers you a power beyond your wildest dreams, to get rid of inhibition and embrace the abilities of an eldritch beast. He's annoying, and he hogs all the fucking blankets at night, planting his cold feet against your legs or back to add insult to injury.

He's annoying, and he's calling out to you once more, telling you to hurry or else you'll miss "that one stupid show" you like, that he'll switch channels if you don't sit down with him to eat. You sigh. The nerve, the hypocrisy. You know the things he likes to watch -- he has no right to criticize your taste like this.

"I'm coming, calm down! Christ …"

You notice that he never lingers nor invades any of your usual places, always picking the same spots for himself, and this is ironic in every way possible given his fickle nature. There's no doubt that as soon as you two retire for the night, Pavia will make a show out of sliding back into your body, to rest with the warmth of your blood and the soothing rhythm of your heart. And you will tell him to fuck off and sleep on the couch, reminding him of that one time he got a little too comfortable, clutching your heart in his claws, causing you to believe you were having a heart attack. Then, morning will arrive, and you will find Pavia either sprawled out or gone, but never truly leaving you alone. You will feel him, that inky slime, both cold and warm in your veins. You will go to work, and you will return home to start all over again. This is the routine, one you stopped questioning a long time ago.

This parasite who gets under your skin, both figuratively and literally, is annoying. He's annoying when he teases you, forcing you to admit that he can cook a mean pasta. He's annoying when he laughs, loud and boisterous, at those stupid moments he often criticizes in all of your favorite shows. He's annoying when he gets clingy, using you as a pillow because he can't be bothered to reach out for one of the many other pillows scattered around.

He's so very annoying when he looks at you with a curious gleam in his eyes, obviously noticing the way you've chosen to rest your head in the crook of his neck. Time stands still as you simply look at each other, as you lose yourself in those bright, sharp eyes.

You stick out your tongue at him, and Pavia blows a raspberry at you. Sure, he might be plenty annoying on his own, but together you're both insufferable and unstoppable.

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #reverse 1999 pavia #reverse 1999 x reader #pavia #dreamy sigh. i love overly complex relationships that can be interpreted in 20 different ways #yeah you hate each other. yeah you love each other. yeah you cant stand each other. yeah you cant literally live without each other #yeah hes your best friend. yeah hes the bane of your existence. and yeah youre his only lifeline. yeah youre the only one he trusts #love having relationships with The Eldritch tm #if some of this sounds suggestive its bc i love romantizicing body possession and body sharing and symbiotes theyre my favorite thing ever

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dandylovesturtles · 2 years ago

Text

once again writing fanfic for an AU that's not mine

uh hi so I guess it is Crying About Future Donnie Hours except this is actually a different future Donnie than the one everyone else is crying about.

I have wanted to write something for @kathaynesart 's Replica for awhile now and I got an idea and I decided to use @tmntaucompetition as an excuse to write and post it, so I guess you could say this is propaganda I didn't expect it to be the day after my poll though so I kinda scrambled a bit aaaaa lol

Replica is one of my favorite ROTTMNT comics, it's one of the first I found after I watched the movie, and I love it so much. If you haven't read it please do! However, there is one part of the comic in particular (and especially one line in particular) that has stuck with me since I first read it, and I think about it a lot. So consider this my little homage to that part of the comic, and to the character who says it.

Also there is a short section of this that is just dialogue from the comic so obviously all credit for that dialogue goes to Kat!

And Kat I really hope you don't mind me playing around in your sandbox a bit /)_(\

Anyway I don't normally title these but I did give the gdoc for this one the title: The Needed Functions to Appreciate It

I hope you enjoy!

~~~

As an AI, experiencing the apocalypse was different.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. did not have to feel the aching gnaw of hunger, or the bite of the cold. He did not feel the sting of acid rain on skin, or the seeping of blood from injury. All the physical sensations his family and friends suffered, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was spared them all.

That did not mean he didn’t feel.

…

“Hey Dee?”

The “Hm?” he got in response was distracted. Donnie was often distracted those days. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. didn’t resent him for it. He knew how busy Donnie is - he cataloged and prioritized the to-do list himself, after all.

“I still have the timers Raph asked me to set for his training in the system, and all his old records. What…” He hesitated. “What should I do with them?”

“Oh.” That got Donnie to pause in his work oh so briefly. His finger tapped twice on the enter key without pressing. “You can delete all of that. Might as well free up memory space where we can.”

“Okay.” It was the right answer. Members of the resistance were allowed to set timers and save some personal files on S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s system, and protocol dictated that forty eight hours after loss of vitals, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. should clear such files.

It had been three hundred and fifty seven hours since Raph flatlined. He should have cleared these ages ago.

“Hey Dee,” he said again, more quietly this time, and Donnie actually looked away from his work and gave him his attention.

He hadn’t had a physical body since a raid over a year before; he was just an artistic representation on the monitor. Donnie promised to make him a new one, but S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. could see both the parts inventory and the to-do list and he doubted he would be able to do that. Usually it didn’t bother him, but he thought that day that it bothered him a little.

“I don’t want to,” he admitted, and Donnie’s face shifted to something more sad.

“Ah. You have developed a lot of sentimentality…” Donnie sighed, not unkindly. “Well, you can keep it. I won’t make you delete it.”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. bounced around the monitor a moment while he mulled it over. Donnie didn’t look away, though one of his battleshell arms took up the task of typing on his computer.

“Isn’t that not good, though, dude? Like… it’s useless now. It’s just taking up space.”

“Yes… sentimentality and practicality are often in direct conflict.” He leaned back in his chair, eyes roving to the ceiling. “Sometimes we just can’t let things go, even against our better judgment, because they remind us of something or… someone.”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. zoomed himself in so he filled more of the screen. “Do you get sentimental, Dee?”

Donnie’s lips quirked up in a smile. “Yes, unfortunately so. I find it vexing… though, Mikey would say, “That’s what makes you a person, Donnie, don’t fight it!” or something like that.”

“But if it makes you hold on to useless stuff, or do things that aren’t necessary, isn’t that bad?”

“Ah, such is the nature of emotions, Shelldon - they often lead us to do things that are, for a lack of a better word, suboptimal… Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a switch so I could just turn the pesky things off. I would focus so much better if I never had to feel… anxious or frustrated or… or sad.” He slumped forward, hugging his arms around himself. “If I didn’t have to… to miss anyone.”

“...That’s the worst one,” said S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., and Donnie nodded.

“Yeah… yeah, it is.” He turned to face S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., eyes glossy. “But-”

ERROR: Memory file corrupted.

“It is a convincing replica. Expertly crafted. You act just like him… Be careful that it does not interfere with our intended purpose.”

“Need I remind you, one of my core purposes is to act as a support to Donatello’s family. That includes you, even if you have chosen to forego the needed functions to appreciate it.”

“A necessary purge to keep the Kraang’s whispers at bay.”

“Was it? That is not what Donatello ever wished of you. Even when you decided to take on this burden.”

“Not having to ‘feel’ has its… benefits.”

“And Donatello was quite firm that you not lock yourself away-”

“Such advanced artificial intelligence, yet you still fail to recognize your own ignorance.”

“To what, exactly?”

“To the bliss in not having to miss him.”

Username: OMEGABOOTYYYSHAKER9000

Password: ****************

MEMORY FILE ACCESS AUTHORIZED

Enter date: XX/XX/20XX XX:XX

RETRIEVING MEMORY FILE. . . SUCCESS

AUDIOVISUAL PLAYBACK BEGIN

“But even if missing them keeps you from performing optimally… Running from bad emotions means running from the good ones, too.” Donatello sighed. “At least, that’s what Mikey said to me after Papa… And it took me awhile, but I realized he was right. Don’t tell him I said that, though, or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Your secret is safe with me, dude.”

“Thank you, Shelldon.” He reached with his hand and touched the screen, and even though they couldn’t actually feel each other, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. moved like he was nuzzling his palm. “When you see Raph’s training records, it makes you sad, but also makes you remember all the things you loved about him, right?”

“I guess, yeah… He’d always scratch my head when I came to give him his training report. When I had a body.”

“Mm, so that’s why you always went to do it in person.” Donatello chuckled, rubbing his thumb on the monitor. He was sad, then, thinking that he couldn’t build S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. a proper body. Always lacking the time and materials…

“Is it worth it, though?” asked S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.. “The good feelings, when there’s bad feelings, too?”

“Maybe that’s one of the great mysteries of life, Shelldon. All I know is… I don’t want to give them up. Not anymore. And… it’s easier to deal with, when you’re not alone.” Donatello pulled his hand back, and looked at him very seriously. “Anata wa hitorijanai. That’s as true for you as it is for any of us. Your family will always be here for you, when you miss Raph, or anyone else.”

Maybe it made S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. feel better. He smiled, as much as his facial design would allow.

“Okay. And I’ll always be here for you too, Dee.”

“Thank you, Shelldon.”

“Love ya.”

“I love you too.”

End playback? Y

PLAYBACK ENDED

#dandy fanfiction #rottmnt replica #future donatello #S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N #future donnie #it would be really silly for him to access his memory files that way actually but #I needed a way to clearly delineate the shift in perspective lol #so don't mind me

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dennydraws · 10 months ago

Text

I can't believe @sunnyluma bullied me into posting this... Disclaimer: I write fanfiction once in 10 years, English isn't my native language. I got plot bunnies during the affinity event in FEH

Day of Devotion Words: 1877 Characters: F/Robin (FEAwakening) x Julius (FE4)

The Day of Devotion. A lovely holiday in Askr, a day to bring flowers and express love - all kinds of love. Love towards friends, family … and more. Robin smiled as she placed the flowers through her hair. A smile that would slowly wilt with every next bloom that found it's place on her garments. Her family - the shepherds, they were not here. Not in the same ones in any case. Chrom who once was the closest to her heart was now spending the holiday with another Robin. Not that this Chrom was the same Chrom she knew. Just how many versions of herself were there? It would've been a lie if she said she didn't feel cheated that she was plucked form a timeline she had found happiness and salvation from Grima… or was on the verge of it in any case. And now she was here, in the middle of other conflicts. Happiness was so close and then taken away.

But feelings, especially personal ones such as those had no room on the battlefield and she as a tactician knew that better than anyone. So, her smile adorned her lips once more. She still had plenty to be thankful for - Askr was welcoming place and she had the unique opportunity to meet so many heroes from across time and space - even …more versions of herself! She saw some Robins with worse fate - reminding her of what could've been had she not met Chrom. And there were some Robins who seemed to have tied the knot …with some questionable individuals from the army. She still couldn't wrap her mind over how could any versions of herself would get married to Gangrel of all people and yet the utter devotion she could see in their eyes spoke volumes of how strong that bond was. The smile began to wilt again.

"Oh, get a grip Robin… that's not like you at all." She closed her eyes and shook off any sign of bitterness that could even try to emerge. After all, she knew full well what Grima would feed upon if she even slightly allows it. Instead Robin picked the buoquet of flowers and went out to find someone out there who got no flowers today - surely there ought to be a lone soul somewhere in Askr that could use a little happiness today. As Robin strolled the paved streets, slowly but surely she reminded herself - it was for a tactical benefit. Happier heroes make for stronger units. At the end of the day their survival was the main goal. And that's exactly what she thought when her eyes stopped upon Julius. Alone as usual, he was leaning on a tree in the shades and away from everyone and everything. Robin was aware of his circumstances, in fact she considered him almost like a distant reflection of herself. She knew how a dragon's hold on the mind could feel even when everyone in the army was sure there was nothing left of the real Julius there. Purely for tactical purposes, she reminded herself once more. "Happy day of devotion." Robin beamed a polite smile, holding forth the flowers.

There was a moment of complete confusion on Julius' face. Julia had attempted to sneak a bouquet earlier today which he had instantly crushed despite the screams from his inner mortal puppet. He didn't expect more or any other interactions today, in fact he was hoping he'd be left alone today and this brief moment of confusion loosened the grip he had. "Why?" Julius uttered in an usual calmer voice. Robin immediately caught it. So he was still in there, she thought. Talking to her own fallen self was completely useless when she had tried before but this change of tone made her consider - there might still be something of Julius left in him. "Why not? You've been helping the army fight off whatever evil is looming over us. Isn't that a good reason to thank you for your efforts?" Robin answered pulling her best tactician voice. After all, it was simply stating the facts.

"Hah! You think I do that out of devotion? I long to crush you like the little insects you are. The contract simply binds me to crush only specific ones. But when this contract is broken you will make no difference to me!" Julius leaned in, his hand over the flowers clutched into a tight grip before Robin could even let go. "Yes well… I'm glad you are accepting the flowers though my hand doesn't come with them." Robin noted completely ignoring the dragon's taunts. Another moment caught off guard. "Ah…" A sudden obedient withdraw followed. There he was again, Robin thought and a smirk formed her lips. So that's how you had to go with it. The more you registered Loptous the more he emerged. She just had to see Julius instead. Her eyes squinted. But that was an issue wasn't it? No one knew Julius… except when he was a child and even then, that was so long ago. Whoever was inside had all grown up now. "You seek something that is no longer there." the dragon smirked, taking the flowers, nails gripping into them. Oh he only had to tear them now in front of her to make his point and yet, this hand was flinching in disobedience.

"Hmm, yeah been there, done that." Robin waved her hand after which she completely ignored the looming figure and sat under the tree next to him. This dress certainly made it a bit harder. As much as she enjoyed the flowers, at the back of her head she only wished she was in her comfortable long robes and poofy pants. "They only see the monster, the big disappointment that you are no longer you. It really chips away from your confidence, doesn't it? We're not that different - you and I." Julius remained frozen and still. The dragon was silenced in sheer anger. How dared this mortal overlook him!?

"I was just… lucky. I had someone to pull me before that grip got too strong to bear. But there were times I wasn't as lucky." Robin wasn't looking at him, her smile turned somber, "But you are still holding on. It means you are devoted to something - a hope, an idea, maybe someone… That's worth celebrating today, don't you think?" The pain coming through Julius' head was immense but he made no noise. He couldn't let Loptous groan or grunt like every other time he even tried to produce a thought of his own. His hand was holding on to these flowers - a devotion to hope he never dared speak and he was ready to break his own hand before he lets him crush them. The silence hung in the air. Robin didn't move or look up. A heavy feeling began to swell into her throat - is this how Emmeryn felt? Memories of her speech before she lept into her death after no reaction came from the armies started to surface. The painful realization that the ideals you hold on to are not strong enough to change the inevitable tragedy ahead. A mental kick followed - when did she get so foolish as to let emotions dictate her so? She was a tactician. Emmeryn pure and kind expected the best in people and the world needed people like her but Robin? She had to ground herself. This conversation was nothing but tactical approach to boost morale, nothing more.

Something gently snuck behind her ear. A flower form the bouquet. "I used to.. place flowers in her hair." Julius muttered, slow and uncertain. He had leaned over, his look distant yet searching. Robin turned immediately with her eyes widened. This was most certainly not Loptous. Her mind raced. What did he mean? Oh, he probably meant Ishtar. Of course he did. A little bitter reminder. She mentally bit her tongue - now was not the time for this. The point was - he was still there, in fact he emerged. Was it a good moment to run and call for her? No, that would mean leaving him alone and this moment felt too crucial. Like a battlefield on it's own, it was all about timing, catching the flow and turning it to your favor. "The…best I could do... was to let them go. If they hated me…they would not come near, they would not …be hurt by him. If they... knew I was still here…they would hesitate and he would kill them. They…are safe now… without me." Julius continued speaking with his look turning more and more empty with each word.

Robin recognized where this was going. His thoughts would spiral in despair and Loptous would emerge again, maybe this time for good. She had to think fast, what to reply before he'd slip again. She had to help him win this battle. "Your strength is admirable and I say that as a tactician." Robin replied with a forced brighter tone, pushing any and all emotions that could possibly create a tremble. She had to focus on… Julius. Not on Loptous. Not on the weaved tragedy that had stained every step of his life but on the hero who no one would see or even believe was still in there. Julius' eyes gained a brief focus even if no words came out, Robin knew he was looking at her… maybe a bit too strongly. It was strange, she had seen Julius many times, but never… The Julius, nor his look ever felt on her, not like this. She gave herself another mental kick. Now she began to see how some version of her out there married Gangrel - he too probably did this helpless lost look on her and tugged her heart strings. Probably even gave her flowers. Apparently that was a weak spot she had not realized. Although the image of Gangrel holding a bouquet of flowers was absurd and yet suddenly things began to make a bit more sense regarding her romantic choices in some alternative realities.

"I mean it. I'm proud of you, Julius!" Robin added further as small attempt to break the silence once more and shake any potential emotions trying to find their way into her heart. Instead of a reply Julius simply slumped on his knees, much like a tired puppet with loosen strings and planted his forehead on her shoulder. Robin turned stiff as a statue. That certainly wasn't an expected turn of events. Carefully she moved her arms to give him a careful pat which gradually became a hug. Goodness, this… escalated quickly, she thought. Julius couldn't utter more words. Rather he basked in the sensation of his own body for as brief as this was going to last. He wanted to enjoy the moment - he wasn't sure if he'd ever get another. But the smell of flowers in her dress, her hair, the gentle hold on him - yes he… he would get another. He would fight to get another moment such as this.

Autor Note: Do not blame me for this idea, blame this!

I can't believe I wrote a fanfic in 2024 about Fire Emblem...

#My writing!?#Fire Emblem Awakening #Fire Emblem Genealogy of The Holy War #Julius #Robin #I can't believe I got bullied into posting this...help meee #Thank you for stopping by though!#I hope you enjoyed this sudden fuzzy idea :D;;#Sometimes the plot bunnies strike and you just have to write it all in one go

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elgaladwen · 4 months ago

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OC Questionnaire

Long post incoming! I'm finally answering the lovely OC questions I was tagged in, which I've been excited about, but didn't feel as if I could answer yet, because my creativity has become virtually non-existent. This is helping me jog it a little, though, and reading everyone else's answers was inspiring! I'll put my own questions and tags at the end, but as usual, no pressure, and consider yourself tagged if you want to answer them.

From @linden-leaf ; answering for (LOTRO) Elgaladwen.

1. What’s a core lie your character believes about themselves or the world, and where did it originate? (e.g. if they believe they’re unlovable, was there a particular person or pattern of people that taught them to think so? If they believe the world is fundamentally fair and just, what society or institution taught them what fairness and justice meant, and what the rules for them were?)

She believes she, and those of elvenkind in general, are legitimately better at, and better for most things than the other free peoples of Middle-earth. She was constantly told by her Noldo parents and grandparents that the other elven clans were inferior, and worse things about those who were not elves. She thinks she's progressive because she's personally grown to see all or most elves to be perfectly fine, and she even married a Silvan elf, but she still looks down upon the other races of Middle-earth more than she should, even if she generally doesn't let it show. She also holds a high opinion of herself and her healing and language skills, which is not entirely unwarranted, but she is not truly the best at as many things as she thinks. (Confidence counts for much, though!)

2. Who are/were the most important people in their lives? Did they choose those people for themselves (and would they choose them again)?

Her husband, Gallorth, is the most important person in her life by far, and though she has friends, and has had family she thinks are important too, she’d have been far less likely to die or kill for them. She certainly could exist without them, but not without Gallorth.

She chose him, and even if us as the players made their meeting happen, it was entirely by chance for the characters!

3. Is there a choice they’ve surprised themselves by making? (And did they learn anything about themselves through making it?)

She never thought she’d get married at all, because she was very against her parents trying to arrange marriages for her to continue their line, and she swore off everything of the sort. Luckily for her, her children will be half Silvan, so it's still a bit of a middle finger to her parents.

From @the-journey-was-the-point ; answering for Nimardril

1) Has your OC ever burned or otherwise destroyed something that reminded them of unhappy times or experiences in their past? Was this part of an arranged event? Or something they did spontaneously or in anger?

Nim has the unfortunate habit of running from anything that causes her emotional turmoil, and can't be fought physically, so she tends to destroy relationships with people by leaving when things get rough, even if that's not her intention. She felt very abandoned and useless for much of her life, but doesn't realize that she's the one causing it herself now, even if it wasn't her fault as a child.

2) What is your character's preferred way of coping with stress or difficult situations?

If she's able, fighting or killing things. Letting her rage and anger take over until she's tired enough to rest or move past whatever it was. She is a hunter, and has been a guard and soldier, so sometimes this is easy enough to do. Related to the question above, she used to destroy things in the house she once lived in with her parents, but as she got older, she got better about only taking out her rage on things when it's actually acceptable. Unfortunately that's led to her other way of coping, which is drinking too much, as she can get away with that more easily.

She's still young for an elf, so I think in the future she will be able to face, and work on her issues, though.

3) Who's a character your OC cannot stand! It's on sight when they see them! (whether other OC or canon)

There are a few people who've humiliated her, mostly in Glaston, so she avoids going back, and doesn't want to see any of them again. It takes a lot for her to actually hate someone, and if someone did something bad enough that she did, she'd be more likely to go after them for revenge, then to avoid them.

From @angbands-last-hero ; answering for Moradan

1) Explain your character's sense of humor. For example: Is it dry? Do they like dad jokes? Are they sarcastic or overly serious? Is it easy for them to crack jokes or are they more receptive to hearing them? What do they find humorous?

He is nearly always sarcastic, and he prefers any humor over seriousness, even if he finds most people lacking. He prefers to hear drier, less obvious humor, but no matter what it is, it's a bonus if he can feel true amusement.

2) How easy is it for your character to hold a grudge? Is it hard for them to forgive and forget?

He doesn't tend to hold grudges, but more because he can't be bothered to care that much, than anything else. Or perhaps no one has done something worthy of one.

3) Very random question that is not canon compliant: Is there a book or a movie you think your character would enjoy? Does it speak to them personally or do they just find it entertaining?

Moradan would love media with secondhand embarrassment, and other people's humiliation, which I cannot stand in real life, so there are probably things I can't think of that he'd like.

I think in modern times, he'd like the Black Company series, but it'd be too close to home in his canon life.

My questions:

Where does your character feel most at home? Is it a specific place? Or perhaps a general region or type of climate?

What brings your character the most joy in life?

What is your character’s biggest regret? Or do they have any regrets at all?

I know you've all been tagged, so just if you feel like answering different questions about another character or something! I am not tagging some people I saw get tagged and not answer, because I'm not trying to be overwhelming here, but I do want to hear about everyone's characters. 👀 (And it doesn't have to be LotR related.) @angbands-last-hero, @linden-leaf, @the-journey-was-the-point, @kemendin, @first-talon, @chaos-corvus

#tag games #lotro oc #elgaladwen #nimardril #moradan #character building

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alchemiclee · 2 months ago

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serious talk real quick, sorry about this,,,,,

I keep getting asks asking for help with gofunmes and stuff as you might see me post. do no have the capacity to research and see if it's real. am dealing with health and family and work and life and friend issues and severe burnout on top. just want to occasionally come here to look at some silly lil guys and art to get some feel-good brain hormones for a second or whatever brains do. made this as a place to disconnect from the world for a bit and focus on myself and what I like and need.

but also have a feel-bad brain problem where I feel like the worst person alive if I can't help EVERYONE ON EARTH and it's pointed out to me all the time that i dont help anyone enough. the first one I got I posted and said I can't do much to help but i'll share and hope my followers can help and the person sent another saying "you have to donate or i'll die" basically, like their and their family's life is all in MY hands alone when I can't even get my own life together. and that was such a Brain Feel Bad and caused severe anxiety and panic attack....because it reminds me of irl experiences of homeless people grabbing onto me and trying to drag me away screaming only I can save them and feed their dying starving children, god sent ME to them so it's my duty, when I literally couldn't do anything but dissociate and now have no memory of what happened after that or how i got out of their grips....so i've not been here as much as usual because I keep getting these asks now and it makes me so anxious every time and THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE PERSON. I know i'm horrible for not helping and instead getting severe anxiety when someone asks!!!! but idk how to stop it!! I can't even get the help I need and have been struggling alone for years!!!!

so I post these in case they're real and maybe one of my 5 active followers can help or something idk. it's all I can do even if it's useless. feel free to ignore them, that's up to you. i'm falling apart at the seams of my existence but war is worse than my dumb pointless problems and I can't help anyone so all I can do is publish asks and let other people maybe help if it's real. idk. let me just look at lil guys and art in peace i'm sorry i'm not abled and rich and useful 😭

is it ok to ignore these asks and leave them unanswered? or am I a bad person because i'm not helping and ignoring someone in need? since I don't have the spoons to research and verify every ask I get, is it better to ignore and not publish them to avoid a potential scam being posted and shared???? I don't know how this works but just saw a post saying many of them are scams preying on this horrible situation so you should always verify each one before sharing. but I cannot i'm sorry 😭😭😭😭 I know i'm a bad person for not being able to help and do this small thing, but i'm now worried i'm possibly causing harm unintentionally 😭😭 what do???

#lee is burnt out from personal life #but also has a brain that makes lee feel bad for not being able to solve the problems of EVERYONE IN THE WORLD #very guilty conscience and being absolutely useless!!!!!!!#wheres the line between helping others and helping yourself because i grew up being taught always put everyone else first #everyone goes above yourself #but thats just made me unable to exist correctly at all and cant even do bare minimum 😭😭😭😭😭#sorry im dumb and useless and making my pointless struggles seem more important than ACTUAL WAR 😭😭😭#sorry if typos and sruff. too tired to word right #im a tiny blog with like 5 active followers so am i doing anytbing by posting these?????

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kellterntempest · 1 year ago

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OKAY *breaks down door* Time for my sad Boom!Stobotnik au thoughts!!!!!!

@inkbats-writing 's tag killed me in best way and inspired me

Stone is the one who filed the divorce.

He believed everything they built together was broken, that he felt broken. (Hello internalized ableism) He thought he'd become just like another of Eggman's malfunctioning projects that the Doctor needed to fix. Stone tried to carry on like nothing happened, but Eggman refused to let it go.

"We can't just go back to normal villainy again! You almost died, just look at what's happened to you! You're acting like nothing happened!"

Nearly losing the love of his life had changed something in Eggman and he reacted in extremes.

Out of guilt, and fear, Eggman forced Stone out a huge part of his life - swearing up and down it was because he was protecting him and also, that he was the supervillain husband and he always knew best. but the trust in each other was crumbling.

Stone kept refusing Eggman's helicopter caretaking, feeling lower than he'd ever felt in his life. Feeling rejected, useless and distrusted. He couldn't sleep, barely eating, and his recovery was hell.

Pain, jealousy, bitterness, and resentment all winding up in both of them.

Eventually at one point, Eggman's feelings of self righteous resentment finally slip through. "It wouldn't BE so difficult if you weren't dragging me down so much! After all I'm trying to do for you, you just don't seem to appreciate any of it! It's just mope 24/7 with you!!"

"Me? I don't appreciate you? You've got it the wrong way around!"

Throwing words that cut, out of pain and frustration. Needing to feel seen and heard, without either really thinking about the damage hurled.

"What was I thinking – I should never have given you a part in my plans. You should have stayed where you were, as my accountant!"

"Do you really think you can win anything without me? Without my designs? My ideas? Where would you be without me?"

"You arrogant prick! You think that lowly of me, all this time? I'm the brains, I'm the brawn, I don't need you to be a big bad supervillain!"

Silence. Then, "Sometimes I wish I never met you."

After days upon days of this spiraling and endless fighting, Stone called his lawyer. He decided to leave. They'd be better off apart, he didn't want to hear any more of what Eggman had to say, didn't want to hear apologies, or promises to fix things. He'd take his chances alone. He thought he would finish recovering on his own and be rid of it all. No more powerlessness, no more pain, no more feeling small and smothered. He thought for sure that Eggman didn't want him anymore, not in this state.

And after the long, arduous and stressful divorce proceedings happening over months and months time, they finally both signed the documents….

And Stone regretted it instantly. Every day, he wished his old life back – he wanted his body back and their relationship back too.

But there was no going back. He had to learn to live with and accept his present life, what he lost, and his injury that would never heal.

And it was a brutal riot. Stone, a usually quiet, polite and composed man, went off the rails like a complete wrecking ball to cope. One can only bury feelings underneath for so long before they explode.

Meaningless destruction, senseless arson, sabotage, all sorts of skullduggery to get back at Eggman.

It's just what supervillains do.

Stone dove back into the world of villainy headfirst, back into his circle of mafia friends on the mainland and started his own villainous campaign. He'd prove that he would be just as powerful and unstoppable. Chasing his dream for reasons that he told himself were right and justified.

But deep down Stone missed Eggman so, so much. Cried so many tears, angry and heartbroken. He kept his wedding ring on his person, in a locket attached to a silver cord. Half in spite, half in heartbreak, to remind himself what he needed to do. That he couldn't give up, and fail Eggman, again, like Eggman had said he would (at the end of one of their heated fights)

#sonic boom au #stobotnik #boom!stobotnik #my fics

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disneyanddisneyships · 2 years ago

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@gyubby99 okay this came to me randomly. I'm not sorry.

"Loreley where are you taking me?" Alistar asked as he was lead through the forest by his friend.

"I had an idea and i called in a favor. You'd better be fucking grateful because my dad is getting sick of me asking to bring back the dead," loreley explained.

"You already let me see my mother again. What more could i even ask for?" Alistar stated.

"A way to stand up to your father maybe," loreley replied.

Alistar stopped walking and just stared at her.

"Look, he won't be able to touch you or anything, but my father said it'd be good for his eternal suffering. And you need a shitload of closure. I already got the go ahead from eve and Rosalyn," loreley explained.

Alistar nodded before he started walking again.

When the two of them made it to the lake where this stuff usually happened Alistar gulped.

"Its okay Al. I'm just gonna be a few feet away," Loreley stated before the lake turned blood red. "I'll leave you to it," she muttered before walking away.

Alistar stood up straighter, his face was stone and his eyes were dark.

The outline of his father came into view, the red tones and shadows making it scarier than it should've been.

"Hello Father," Alistar stated coldly as he stared, not letting his emotions get to him.

"Ah. The disappointment," John replied as his ghost bathed in red looked around. "To what do i owe the displeasure?" He asked.

"The only displeasure here is the fact that I have to see your face again," Alistar answered.

"Be careful son. Wouldn't wanna end up like your mother. Dead and alone," John warned.

"And what does that make you? Dead, alone, and unloved?" Alistar shot back

"Careful," John warned again.

"Or what? You'll kill me? A bit late for that. Because you see I'm up here living the best life I could be, while you will be living out your eternal suffering down there, being reminded everyday of what an awful person you were," Alistar stated.

John made a move to hit his son, but his fist went straight through him like a ghost going through a wall.

"You dont have anymore power here. You are weak. For once in your righteous life you have no power over anyone. You have no power over me. It's over, John," Alistar spoke.

"How dare you! I am a king! I am your father, and I control you, you selfish, spoiled little-"

"YOU CONTROL NOTHING!" Alistar shouted.

"You dont control who I marry. You don't control how I feel. You don't control how I look. And you certainly don't control who i love," alistar started. "I am done living up to your expectations. I am done trying to prove myself. And I am done being your son. I hate you. I've always hated you. And the only reason I never told you that was because-"

"You think I care?!" John yelled.

"DONT INTURRUPT ME," Alistar shouted angrily.

John's eyes widened in shock.

"You have no idea, do you? The pain and suffering you inflicted onto me? All the scars I have because of you? You never loved me. You've never loved anyone but yourself! You spent your life calling me selfish but it's You! You are the problem in this world!" Alistar shouted.

"And yet you still married ella-"

"I didn't! I married for love! And i have two beautiful kids who will never know who you are. I have a family. And I am something you will never be," Alistar explained.

"And what's that?" John scoffed.

"Loved. I am loved. And that's something you will never be. Not by your parents, not by my mother, and certainly not by me," Alistar stated, his eyes burning with anger.

"You're useless," John replied.

"And yet I'm the one who's alive. Not you," Alistar retorted.

"Youll never be a man," John insulted.

"And you'll never be in power. Goodbye John. I hope you rot in hell," Alistar hissed.

And just like that, the red tint of his father's shadow, along with his father, dissapeared.

Alistar let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Kinda wish I could've seen you punch him," Loreley stated as she came back.

"Me too. Come on. Let's go back home," Alistar replied as he and loreley walked back to Ella's castle.

Back at the castle, Alistar's family was waiting for him.

"Well?" Ella asked.

Alistar smiled as tears filled his eyes.

"I've never had the courage to do that until now. Thank you," Alistar stated.

And that's when his family hugged him, tighter than anything.

He had a family. Finally.

He made something of himself.

He was the most fortunate man on the island because of that.

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scienceofsustainability · 1 year ago

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'Consumption and Materialism' Reflective Journal - Part 1

October 24

The things people will buy… On social media today I saw an advertisement for a Sephora ‘advent calendar’. It includes a gift item per day. Days of opening personal care items, probably unnecessary, the wrong color, something a person doesn’t even use as a rule. It’s like going into the store and picking up any random 12 items…and heading to the checkout to pay for them. It’s like buying items for a skin condition that you don’t have, or a replacement product for a trusted personal care item. All separately packed. This makes no sense to me at all. Why would I buy makeup and skin care items that I don’t need or use? Sephora is a popular brand, and for young men or parents wanting to make their girl happy at Christmas time, this may seem like a great purchase. Do we care if they will actually use the 12 items inside? Probably not. Will she even use half of these items? Probably not. But we feel satisfied because we think this is a fun gift idea that she will love. She will probably even be excited when she sees it! But the reality is that the surprise bag of goodies contains mostly useless items that end up in the trash. The Christmas season brings with it the desire and usually the feeling of pressure to purchase things for others, most times unnecessary items, just so that we can buy ‘something’. It’s wasteful and prompts the continuation of such trends or traditions. Commercial business capitalizes on all of this and generates even more products, marketing, and advertising.

Credit - Sephora

October 25

I bought the bell…! My 21 year old daughter asked me to take her to the mall about 20 minutes from our home. At her age, the desire to have nice clothes is an important aspect of life, as going out with friends or to the gym requires looking good. No longer do most people throw on old sweat pants and go out to the garage to workout, many people today go to local gyms, pay membership, and feel the need to wear particular brands of workout clothing and footwear: “You can’t show up in that.” Purchased ‘Pre Workout’ powders are part of the routine too, so one can show up with a serious beverage in hand, and big name headphones waiting to blast motivating music. So as she looks throughout the athletic clothing, I excitedly head over to look at… ahhh, Christmas decor…. It is an exciting time of the year. For me, it is the decorations that I love. I enjoy making the house feel cozy and beautiful. There it all is… so much to look at and choose from. So much in the way of wreaths, blankets, cushions, little houses, signs… all different colors, sizes, styles… Looking at it all creates anticipation for the upcoming season. Some remind me of childhood. Some I look at and question “Who would buy this?” What a waste of hard earned money. Other stuff I love, and wonder how it would fit in my home? Do I need it? No. I have so much already… Does it make the holiday any better? No. Do I have the money to spend on it… maybe… but could that money be spent better somewhere else? Yes. I realize that I am better at talking myself out of purchases now than I was in the past. Even though I probably have more disposable income now than I did ten years ago. Maybe that is why I hold back more?…Maybe I am learning. I do love those gold-colored rustic bells though... And last year when I seen them in Toronto, I felt that I had won the shopping lottery and bought two. Here they are right in front of me, in Sydney no less… I hymn and ha over it and decide to allow myself to get one. I think to myself, ‘some of my Christmas decor is dated, and it’s probably a good idea to add a little bit of new?’ I remind myself that I will have this for many years to come, and someday I may be able to pass decorations on to my grown children. And I resisted choosing anything else to buy… it’s only one thing. After I check out I realize that purchasing something provides a little bit of a boost, a happiness, something to look forward to when I start decorating, to set out, to look at. I can’t wait to show it to my daughter.

Credit - Instagram

October 27

Dollar stores… where were dollar stores years ago when I was young and newly married? We all could have saved a lot of money on things. If my mother were alive today, she would love this store so much. Everything is so cheap, and this store is filled with things that we could easily pay two or three times as much for somewhere else. Dollar stores provide consumers with everything from personal care products, to toys, household necessities, craft supplies, and everything else you could need. How many of us have wondered how in the world these items could be made and then sold for so little money? The materials alone. Then there is the labor, the workmanship making this basket… transportation costs, and wages? How is this only $2? But most of us dismiss that thought soon after, and keep looking for cheap treasures. Buying food here doesn’t seem like a good idea to me at all. There is some reason why all of these items ended up here, and if there is an issue with a food item, then I don’t want it. However, I notice that some people shop the food aisle, and fill their basket with items that are much lower in price than Sobeys. It doesn't matter if I need these right now, but I am always looking for paint brushes so I will grab four or five, since they are only $2 each. By the time I walk through the aisles, I have a few items in a basket. Most of these items I would've bought somewhere else anyway. I found myself picking out a Halloween card for my niece in Ontario… I’ve just spent five minutes looking at the different options, then realize that it is too late to send a card, and that maybe that is not necessary, so I put the card back. When I was young, nobody ever sent me a Halloween card. That really is a crazy idea, probably another way for companies to sell me something. As we purchase these cheap treasures, we are often ignorant of the natural resources that have been sacrificed, and to where these items will likely be in just a few short months. Many of us will fill a bag with donation items this holiday season, to make room for more stuff, and drop it off in the local donation bin. We walk away feeling satisfied believing that it will be reused. The less consumers know, the happier they are.

October 28

It’s the weekend and I need to start housecleaning for the winter season. There is so much stuff in this house it’s a bit overwhelming. The storage room is full. I often can’t find particular items that I need, and I know that I sometimes re-purchase things that I already have. The girls' rooms are messy looking, as too much stuff prevents ‘tidying up’ from really making an impact. They don't think they have too much stuff. They love going to Walmart and the Dollar Store and coming home with new things. Their rooms look fine to them. But I am at the stage in my life where I like it clean, simple, organized. Where do I start? I want to purge so much stuff. As I head to the storage room with bravery, and an attitude that I am going to clear it out, I soon lose my battle…It is so hard to part with things that I may ‘need’, the girls may look for, or that there is a memory attached to… I feel defeated, and these items feel heavy on me. I really thought that I was going to make a big difference here today. I feel disappointed. I lost the battle with our stuff. I remind myself to stay out of the stores…

October 29

“Things you didn’t know you needed”... There is something cool about watching her put it all together. I think of how well equipped my daughter’s car is as I watch the video. I like the idea of being prepared and organized. But do we really need all of that stuff in our car?! Tik Tok shares ‘great Amazon finds’, and some are focused on restocking your car. There are these sweet little car bags that have pretty little items in them, all compact and attractive, looking like you are prepared for anything. It makes you want to buy all of these items and also pack up a neat little bag to store all of your car ‘essentials’, such as lotions, lip balm, a variety of perfumes, deodorant, a migraine stick, are those face masks?... There is a large compartmentalized bag filled with a variety of snacks, drinks, blankets, and everything you can think of. There are more personal care products in that car than in my two home washrooms combined. This advertisement for car organization is satisfying to watch, and you have to admit that some items are cool, like the car window film, and vent sauce holders... Who knew you needed a small diffuser in your car? I end the video realizing that I don’t even have so much as a box of Kleenex in my car.

youtube

October 30

She ‘can’t wait until her Shein order comes in’. I’ve heard these words uttered many times. Shein is a website that my girls like to use to pick out clothing. It is easier to shop online than to find time to head to the mall and walk from store to store looking for items. It can be done here and there in spare time. The added benefit is that you are provided with reviews and photos from other people who purchased the item. Every few months the girls will put an order together. While it may be good that we save gas driving to the mall, and the items are fairly inexpensive, the risk of something not fitting or them not liking and not wearing it, is likely. But the clothes are cheap, so it’s worth the risk to them. Many people order from Shein, and also shop on other sites and at other stores such as Urban Plant, because the clothing is cheap. Cheap clothes means we can afford to buy new items, or more clothing more often. I am aware that this is fast fashion, and that these clothes come from China. I also know that the work conditions of those who make these clothes are probably not equitable. I am aware that these are not quality items, so they will likely end up being donated in a few months. I encourage the girls to go to the mall and look for better quality clothes. Things that will last, and that are basic and not trendy. I have sweaters and pants that I have had for many years. They have served me well. If you spend a good amount of money on an item, but you wear it many times, the cost-per-wearing can be pretty low, and the item serves many years of service.

October 31

What am I going to do with all of these treats? Nine trick-or-treaters showed up tonight. That is it. Although I did not have many last year, three years ago I had about 60. So on the way home from work, I felt that last minute concern that I should stop and get more pop and treats, and prepare more treat bags. When my girls go out in the neighborhood at Halloween, they always come back with these amazing treat bags, with endless treats inside. I wonder how much money my neighbors actually spend on treats. At some level, I have to keep up. When I was a child trick or treating, I would have had to go to a dozen homes to get all the treats that they get in now in one door knock… I shake my head because children really do not need all of this junk food, and I question how we got to this point where the reward is so great for dressing up and knocking on doors. Now I have all of these bags of treats and I wish that I could return the items to the store. It’s a strange game we play trying to be sure that we have enough, worried that we may run out. Only to end up overspending, and stuck with food items that we don’t want, and certainly do not need.

November 2

It’s all very confusing and I feel like none of them are probably safe or nutritious. Yet, I am pushed to purchase the most expensive option, and that big price tag is supposed to help me to feel like it is the best choice. There are so many brands of dog food, and each one claims that it meets the nutritional needs of my dog. Each brand has many options to choose from based on the age and activity level of your pet, so it seems like you're selecting a custom formula. There is even dog food formulated for specific breeds only, with a cute picture of a perfect happy Yorkie on the bag. How many people buy into that? Plenty I bet. What a marketing idea that is. But of course, you should never buy your pet food from a grocery store, the place where you buy your own groceries... That food is not good… No, if you love your pet and are a good owner, you must purchase your pet food at a Veterinarian's office or at a reputable pet store. I’ve been made to feel guilty for not buying my dog food at the vet. Turning them down made me feel like less of a pet parent. Unworthy of a good dog. Our new puppy came with instructions from the breeder to only feed him Royal Canin puppy food. This brand claims that “Each formula has been created to deliver nutrition tailored to your pet’s health needs”. But really, don’t they all claim that? Shouldn’t they all be striving to provide that? Animal health experts often speak out about processed dog food, and claim that its nutritional value is very low because it has been cooked, altering food's chemical structure, and making it difficult for a dog to digest. Yet, the 13 lb bag of brand name puppy food just cost me $102 with taxes paid. As a consumer, I am not sure what else to do, as I try to provide the best for my dog, while also not being fooled into thinking that I actually am…

Theo

November 3

Instagram provides me with daily images of house decor that I love. Simple, clean, cozy rooms with gorgeous throw pillows, lamps, throw blankets… I love it all. And of course, I wonder how I could make my house look more like this. I even find myself snapping screenshots to put in my album ‘Home Decor Ideas’ on my phone. I follow a few decorators on social media, and there is one in particular, I love all of her ideas. Of course that means that I need to change my paint colors, and get a new kitchen table. I’ve gone to local furniture stores looking for something similar to what she has, but I can’t find it. I allow myself this to some degree because I do not spend a lot of money on clothing or anything else, home decor is what I enjoy. But it never really ends. It is a cycle of changing up paint and decor items as the trends change. I quickly tire of patterns, and want something else. What I think will really spruce up a room, only satisfies me for a short time, then I grow tired of it, and want a change. Of course, with each season you need to be ready to change, if you follow social media. They have all of these different things for each and every season. You can’t just have one chunky throw blanket, you need 4 or 5. Presently I am looking for a clay-based lamp and a clay vase or two. The current decor trend is homey, simple, neutral, and organic. I’ve been in plenty of local stores looking for such things, yet can’t find them. Cape Breton is sure behind in the times when it comes to decor! So I go online and find some, however they are very expensive. The sticker shock stops me, and I wonder if it is really a good idea to pay $350 for a single lamp. I tell myself that I don’t really need it, and snap back to reality. Yet each time I see her posts on Instagram, I am drawn in, and making mental notes of a few items that I could add to my decor list.

Credit - Instagram

November 6

‘What do you want for Christmas?’ Now that my three daughters are grown up, I usually ask them what they want for Christmas. I love surprising them with nice gifts, but I certainly do not want to buy anything that they won’t use or won’t like. I have family and friends who go into debt during the holidays just so they can fill a room with endless gifts for their loved ones. I have never been in the habit of buying things just to say that I did. I always try to get them something they’d really like and will use, as well as any new clothing items that they need for the upcoming winter season. In recent years, they don’t even know what to ask for. There is not much they need. But I have to buy them something, so I start looking for options and hope that something good comes along. I often think of the other seasons and wonder if they could use a new lawn chair for next summer’s concert, or if I should start them on collecting necessary items for a future home. I am pretty good at avoiding a lot of the hype about the best new technology, and my goal is not to spend a ton of money. I have always tried to make Christmas about the traditions and the family time. For a number of years now, we have been filling a donation box of clothing and food items to donate to those in need. It is a tradition that they now look forward to, and they put thought into the best food items to purchase to place in the donation box. This is the best gift that I could get for Christmas, seeing them think of and care for others.

November 7

‘It looks like a store in here’... How much camo can a guy have? As I am housecleaning for the upcoming winter season, I walk into the room in which my husband stores all of his hiking and hunting gear. It is overwhelming the amount of things that he has. I can remember when times were simple, and hunters had an orange vest and a rifle. Not anymore. Did you know that it is necessary to have different types of camo for different seasons and animals that you are hunting? Now that we have large scale hunting and fishing stores such as Bass Pro, outdoor activities usually involve expensive gear. No longer do most people make their own ice-fishing tents. Stores sell quick set-up tents with convenient pouches for holding essentials, and viewing holes and windows to look through. Things that used to involve individual creativity, recycling of materials, and people coming together on homegrown projects, have now been replaced with commercial items, and the need for significant money to be spent. Perceived obsolescence means that a person feels pressured to buy these items, and that the old ways of doing things are no longer acceptable. Hearing these outdoor adventurists talk about their hobbies usually involves them discussing items they need to acquire, and the newest item that you can get, not the actual fun that they have while out there doing it. It’s sad that these wholesome activities have been overtaken by commercialism.

Credit - Eskimo Products

Shifting Patterns of Consumption - Part 2

In an effort to reduce my consumption, and to help the planet, there are a few things that I do, and I hope to add many more actions to the list. The first is that I try to use online grocery shopping whenever possible. This helps to reduce point of purchase sales, and helps me stick to the list of things that I ‘need’. I feel that online grocery shopping is time and cost efficient, and allows me opportunity to ensure that I am only adding items to my cart that I will use. Less impulsive purchases also means less waste, and less money spent.

Another thing that I have changed about my habits is that I never put any plastic in the garbage. I always put it in a recycle bag, in the hopes that it will indeed be recycled. I used to put plastic food packaging and other types of plastic in my kitchen garbage. Not anymore. It pains me to see plastic takeout containers thrown in the trash. Plastic bags may have been removed from shopping stores, but many items still come wrapped in plastic, such as wood pellets, frozen food products, some pet food, and a host of other items. If any of these items can be reused or recycled, and I sure hope they can, then I will always do my best to make sure they don’t go out with the trash. I have been encouraging my children and my students to always do what they can to help our planet. Every one person can contribute to an overall impact.

#materialism #environment #ethics #morality #consumerism #overconsumption #recycle #reuse #ecofriendly #homemade

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humansun · 1 year ago

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mom pls b okaaay

Written June 28th, 2023 at 9:36AM

The gym really helps me get out of my comfort zone each day. I’m glad that my friends invite me and that I get to go every weekday at 5:30AM.

Something I’ve been trying to implement into every moment of my life is the “sexy walk” or better posture, essentially. Whenever I walk somewhere, even to the kitchen, I try to remind myself to sexy walk to practice gracefulness. I usually walk quite lazily but walking sexy will be a great practice.

I learned that when I binge watch Youtube videos, it’s kind of a bad addiction. It’s like using a drug I have constant access to in order to pacify my brain and not think or do anything else. Every once in a while, I do see why I want to participate in escapism, but if I could help it, I don’t want to. I like my brain being present and mindful of what’s happening. My escapism should be into my books.

I’m reading two at once by the way! Which is a first in a long time, but it’s going well. I’m learning different things with both books, and it’s sort of like writing two different scripts or building creativity in other ways than just one.

At this moment, I’d like to make a personal shoutout to the local library that really holds me down. I love the little getaway space that I have to write and focus on myself without any distracting voices or noises that keep me away from my work. It’s awesome that it’s public and I get to borrow books for free!

Yesterday, I built out a really awesome presentation for work today and I’m looking forward to showing it. However, I do have a pretty busy agenda for the day and anticipating achieving most the tasks I have waiting for me to complete. It will be a great day because I said so, plus I’m listening to the Pasadena playlist!

I’m really hoping the ClassPass works when I arrive at the locations because it would suck if it didn’t. Shout out to cousins who love you and look out for you. Shout out to friends who like to listen to what you’re learning so they can learn too. Shout out to romantic partners who support you even if you feel like a useless sack of potatoes.

A part of me is very certain of my abilities and the other side of me doubts it. It’s like knowing that I could act like KC3 consistently, but also doubting myself and fearing that I’ll be too much, you know? But I’m not too much. I’m just right for the Betty I am. BRB! Checking if my mom left to work yet.

Okay. She hasn’t left. I need to eat the pumpkin seed mini bar when I get hungry. Anyways, I have plenty to do today and I’m going to get it done because I said so. My anxiety about my mom’s health is ramping up a little bit, just because there is so much uncertainty around her ear disease. My constant worry is a sudden death that would shake up my life, so I want to prevent it as much as I can.

My plan is to go with my mom to the USC medical center and request for her medical records. That way, we can investigate on what the doctor’s notes were and determine from there, how we can move forward? I also want to reach out to my uncle and see what he says about his own ear surgery - not sure if he had cholesteotoma though.

I miss my sister and I feel very blessed. I think I have more than I deserve in life. I am grateful for everything that I do have and it feels great to remind myself that. Okay, plenty to do today! Chat later.

Written 12:57PM

I’m excited, I’ve excited, I’m excited. I’m excited. I am EXCITED!

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eilai55 · 3 years ago

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Lonley

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff X Daughter!reader

TW: Rape, PTSD, Slight mention of drugs. ( Tell me if i need to add somtheing)

Summary: You feel like the relationship with your mother is decaying but things change when something happens at a friend´s party.

Masterlist

Lonley Ch 1

Sometimes you wished you never existed. Sure, it was cool to be the daughter of an Avenger, but it had its downfalls, for example, everyone expected you to be perfect. You had a good mind, easily reminded things and quickly coming up with solutions to any problem thrown at you. Physically, you were a straight A too, you could run miles super-fast without being tired, you had excellent reflexes and a perfect technique on any martial art. But that was useless when you tried to make friends. Everyone used you to meet the Avengers or teamed up with you in class because they were sure you would have an A. So even if you were quite popular in school and were always surrounded by people you felt so lonely. A lot of boys and girls had asked you out for the last years of your life, but you were sure it was because you had a pretty face and a good body, not that you thought that, but the press and everyone reminded it to you every day of your life. In reality no one had ever tried to get to know you better than some superficial data as your favourite colour or what did you do on your free time. It was a privileged as well as a burden.

You are curled on your bed trying to process the feeling of loneliness that had been eating your mind for days now. It isn´t a feeling that makes you want to cry, it´s more like feeling an infinite emptiness with a mix of nostalgia. The only thing that assures you that you are not empty is the heartbeat aching almost physically in your chest. Usually, you avoided feeling like that by occupying yourself with training, homework or going into the small missions that Fury let´s you. But today there is nothing you can do as you already have done all your homework, there aren´t any missions and the training room was occupied by Steve and Tony. You stare at the white walls asking yourself how it would be having real friends, someone who genuinely wants to get to know the real you but then another question comes to your mind. Who are you? You sure enjoyed yout hobies. But even you aren´t sure who is the person you see on the mirror every day. All these things made you feel confused and sad, you don´t like having this feeling so you try to sleep, sleeping is the only way not to think. That is why you wished you could stop existing, just for a moment, to stop time and reorganise your mind.

Drown on your own thoughts you fail to hear the soft knock at your door, so you flinch when a hand is slightly pressed on your shoulder. “Mom!” you turn your whole body to face the red-haired woman standing in front of you. “I didn’t know you were coming home today” you mumbled hugging her by the waist, she surrounds your frame with her strong arms. “Sorry love, mission ended earlier than expected.”

“it’s okay, I have missed you.” She kisses the top of your head in a motherly way while caressing your hair, and you feel yourself snuggling closer to her. You and Natasha have been always close but lately her work was swallowing most of her time leaving you feeling even more lonely. As the good spy she is, she notices the slight frown forming on your face showing your troubling thoughts. She holds your face with both her hands making you lift your head to meet her Green eyes. “Something wrong?”

“It’s just-” You are rudely interrupted by Clint rushing to your room, concern all over his face. “Nat there is an emergency we need you down in five” and then rush down the hallway. You share a look, the word “sorry” written all over her face before running back to her room to change to a better attire before facing whatever had set everyone on such a state of distress. You decide to make it back to bed and just engulf myself with the bed sheet. Staring at the ceiling you feel tears rolling down your cheek. Was it too much to ask for someone who cared enough to choose you before a mission, a grade, or personal interests? You knew your mother ´s job was important and she didn´t need you being all weepy for such trivial things, you just wanted to talk to her and maybe for her to listen and tell you you weren’t alone. Guess you could always wait for her to return and then having some quality time together.

It was 12 in the morning when the team came back, dark bags under your mother´s eyes, sure, she was a trained agent and capable of going through many things like no sleep in heaven´s know how much time but she was still human, and she needed to rest. Bottling up all your emotions you kiss her cheek and let her get her much needed sleep.

The day passes quickly, you do homework, train with Steve and prepare for the party at one of your friends’ houses. Looking at the mirror you wondered if your mother would approve, of course she was occupied but at least she will pick you up as she promised or at least you hope to. You send her a text to remind her.

You: Hey mom, r u still going to pick me up after Mateo´s party?

Mom: Yup, just call me and I’ll be there in a moment.

You: k thanks :D

Mom: Have a good time

You smiled to yourself, maybe after the party you will finally have time to spend with her. You smooth the dress before going downstairs where your date, Alex, the head quarter from rugby, was waiting to pick you up. “You look stunning” He stares at you, mostly at your body, for a long time making you blush while trying to walk stylishly to his car. You like him, he is cute and those piercing blue eyes made your knees weak whenever you made eye contact. “Is this yours?” you asked looking at the Volvo XC90, Steve had one before using it to create a failed experiment. “My father´s gift for my birthday” He shrugged. In the way to the party, you and Alex shared some glances and smiles.

“YOU ARE HERE!!” Olivia came running to hug you. The music was loud, and it was so crowded for not even being 9. You walk hand in hand with Alex and smile at some faces you know from school. “Here” Olivia hands you a glass. “What is it?” You grab it eyeing it suspiciously. Olivia doesn´t notice your slight frown, “Who careesss?!?” “I do” you arch an eyebrow. “just drink it and stop thinking so much smartass” she grins and walks away.

After a few hours you are sitting on the couch playing truth or dare with Olivia, Alex, Mateo, and some other partygoers. You are drunk, the problems of the lasts days long forgotten. “Alexxx, choose truth or dare” Olivia asks, her voice a little higher from drinking, Alex´s hand over your shoulders and his foot resting on his other leg in a relaxed position. “Hmmm, I think I will go with truth this time”. The girl in front of you smiles mischievously “Do you like (Y/n)?”. You choke and almost spit your drink. Alex turns to look square in your eyes, you drown on his beautiful blue eyes, your cheeks heating up. Everyone would though you were difficult to flustered because they thought you as someone unattainable. Truth was that you had as much insecurities as any other and you hated that people thought you were perfect, because you weren´t and then they are disappointed when you turn to be different as they imagined. What if that hapens with him?Snaping back to the present you feel Alex´s hands on your face. “Yes, I like her a lot” and before you realised what was happening you were kissing him. His lips were soft and smooth, his tong dancing in your mouth. Soon you reciprocate the action grabbing his face and pulling him closer to you, feeling butterflies trying to escape out of your stomach.

When you pull apart to breathe, you hardly register the knowing looks and cheering for both of you, with your heart stammering hard against your chest. He smiles at you, and you thanked you are sitting or else you would be a messy pudding on the floor. Turning his head, Alex smiled to the rest of the room “Okay, enough staring, how about a dance” Of course most of them agree, they need to get a personality, you thought. Dancing to the music rhythm and Alex so close to you that you could feel his breath, the urge of kissing him overtakes you, and soon both of your mouths are connected again and again. He pulls you to the bathroom and slams you against the wall. He kisses your lips and start kissing and biting your neck. His mouth slides to your ear “God you are so fucking sexy” he muttered only for you to hear, his voice deep and hoarse from the alcohol. When he kisses you again you feel his hand sliding under your dress and suddenly the action you are going to make hits you. You don´t feel prepared. “Stop, stop” you whisper-shout. He does not stop so you pull him away, thanking your training for having enough strength even drunken. Lots of emotions passes through his eyes, rage, anger, and surprise you cower a little under his gaze “s-sorry” you muttered. He lets a breath and smiles a little bit “It is okay, we will do this when you feel ready” Grabbing your hand he lets you to the dance floor again. “I will grab more drinks, wait for me?” you nodded.

You were so lucky to have him, he was so attentive and thoughtful. You make your way to some girls from your class and start talking with them.

Olivia´s POV

Olivia was walking to get herself a drink when she saw (Y/n) and Alex on their way to the bathroom. She smirks knowingly and continue her way to the kitchen. When a hand grabbed her by the waist “Going somewhere doll?” Mateo pulls her closer to him. “Just going to fill my cup” She rests her head on his shoulder. “Care if I join you?” Mateo asks kissing the top of her head. “Suit yourself”

Mateo was one of his closest friends, she knew he rather be flirting with other girls, but she also knew he cared for her, so making her company whenever they were on a party when she was alone was on his nature. He didn´t want anything to happen to her, even if they never speak of it, Olivia knew he always has her back.

Deep on the conversation Olivia´s eyes drifted to Alex and something he was pouring on a cup. “What is he doing” She asks aloud in a tone that made Mato flinch. “Who?” He asked. “Him” she stormed on his way with Mateo following her close, but the crowed room makes it difficult for her to go after him. “Fuck” she mutters angrily when she loses him.

TW – Explicit rape start here

(Y/n) POV

Laughing at a joke someone made you notice a presence behind you. When you turn around, Alex smiles down at you handing a drink. “Thanks” you smiled back. The drink is cool on your throat and calmed the dryness after talking so much. Soon after, everything becomes blurry and confusing, you don´t know what is happening. A hand slide on yours “Something wrong baby?” The form is burry, but you can recognise the voice of Alex. “I think I need a break.” “Okay, lets get you somewhere quitter” Holding you steadily he guides you to what you can deduce is a room upstairs and lays you down in something fluffy, like a bed. Closing your eyes you try to regain some consciousness on the situation not taking note of the clothed sounds on your side. Your eyes snap open when someone´s hands start touching your body. “A-alex? Wha- What are you doing?” you try to sound firm, but your voice quivered. “It´s okay, just relax, you are going to feel so much better after this, you will thank me” He laughs making you shiver. His hands start touching your breasts, you make your best to stop him, but it is like you don´t have any strength left on your body. “Stop please” You whimpered praying someone will hear you. Your head is spining and you feel like trowing up “Shhh “he covered your mouth with his hand while using the other to make his way under your dress. You were prying for someone to stop him, your eyes tearing up, you don´t have strength to move. Just as he was about to reach your inner thigh someone slammed the door open.

“What a fuck” A masculine voice sounds from there and then Alex is yanked from you violently making you whimp.

“What is your problem?!?” Now is a feminine voice who you hear. Closing you eyes and making yourself a ball with your legs in your chest you try to calm your racing heart. Why has this happened? Why did he do it? How has everything come down to this? Why couldn´t you move?

TW – Explicit rape stops here, there will be mentions of it tho.

Olivia´s POV

Rage is consuming her, (Y/n) had been her best friend since 2nd grade and if that bastard was going to do something to her, she swore she will kill him with her bare hands. After checking all common areas and not founding you she starts to check all the rooms. Desperately she walks down the corridor when a whimper from a voce she knew well catches her attention. Opening the door, she is disgusted by the view. You are crying under a naked Alex who has his hand between tour legs.

“What the fuck” Mateo shouts angrily from behind. He goes straight to Alex and knock him away from you. “What is your problem?!?” Olivia kicks him directly on the balls making him cry out of pain. Making sure Mateo is taking care of Alex, she hurries to your side.

She rested a hand on your shoulder but when you flinch, she removes it. Thoughts running throug her head “Sorry” she mumbled. Lowering herself she talks to you on a soothing way. “You are safe now, that son of a bit-” She cuts herself trying to control the rage she is feeling. “He is not going to touch you anymore, you are safe” “Can you call my mother?” you whispered so low, she wouldn´t had heard you if she was a little bit further. You sound broken and tired sobbing with tour knees on your chest. “Okay, do you need something more love?” You shake your head.

(Y/n) POV

After what feels like an eternity you feel strong enough to sit up on the bed, the sentation that you have just lived a nightmare and nothing of it was real still lingers on your body and your head feels like exploting. You justo want your mother yo hold you but the look on Olivia´s face makes your heart sink even deeper. “She is not coming, is she?” You blink rapidly trying to stop the tears.

“I am sorry (Y/n), Steve told me she had to leave for an important meeting and that he is going to pick you up” She looked at you with a pitied expression, you knew she wanted to hug you or reassure you but right now her presence was all you needed, you didn´t want to talk or be touched. You were disgusted buy the mere thought of it.

As promised Steve came to pick you up a few minutes later. His smile falls when he sees the state you were in. Messy hair, puffy eyes and trembling frame. “What happened?” he asks in confusion and concern. “Just a long night” you mumbled as fast as you could trying to avoid the fall of forming tears on your eyes. When he grabs your shoulder to steady you and you tense his concern rise above the clouds, you could see it on the way he clenched his jaw but thankfully he doesn’t push the topic.

Back at the compound you lose track of how many times you had washed yourself up trying to eliminate the horrible sensation of his hands on your body. The sensation is still lingering when you try to sleep. You have to sleep on the couch because you can´t stand the thought of being on your own bed.

Your mother, of course, wasn’t home when you needed her. You were not surprised.

You wake up the next day to the smell of Wanda´s pancakes, still in pyjamas and a sleepy face you slide to the kitchen. “Hello sweetheart, how was your night?” a small smile appeared on Wanda´s face when you walk in. “fine” you mumble and shrug deciding to keep the fact that you cried yourself to sleep. Toni and Clint are also there with a cup of coffee each one. “Here I made your favourites” You sit on a chair as she gives you a plate with pancakes. The simple action yet so significant that Wanda took the time to make you pancakes makes your chest feel less heavy. “Thank you” you wanted to smile to her but your boudy bring to do it. The course of last night sting lingering on you like your own skin. “Is something bothering you, (Y/N)?” Wanda whispers on your ear before standing Up.

“Good morning malyshka” Your , who just entered the room, kisses the top of your head before going to fill her cup of coffee cutting your response. She doesn’t notice the ways you body cringe or the way you heart starts pounding hard against your chest, but Steve notices. “What´s the matter kiddo?” He says as soon as the tears start running unwillingly down your cheeks. Natasha snaps her head in your direction, a frown on her face as she rushes to your side. She lowers herself to look directly at your eyes. Her hands cupping your face. “Hey, hey, whats wrong malyshka?” You can barely see her through the barrier of tears that covers your eyes. The lump in your throat makes it difficult for you to talk so you just shake you head and shrugging her hands off you run to your room.

Entering the room, you fall against one corner. You find difficult to breath, felling like all the air around you is being taken away. You bring your knees up to your chest and shut your eyes closed. Suddenly you feel like you were in that room again you heart racing and hands shaking.

Natasha´s POV:

Natasha looks at you when you run away through the hallway. She only manages a step froward when firm hand on her shoulder stops her. “What. Are. You. Doing?” She mutters between her clenched teeth exasperated wanting to go after her daughter. “Give her some time” Steve, who just saw what happened, says, clearly knowing something she didn´t. Natasha looks directly at his eyes taken aback by the security of his words. He normally wouldn´t interference between her and you so why now? What does he know that she didn´t? Is it something that happened last night? Was (Y/n) upset that she couldn´t pick her up?

“It´s okay Nat, she will come around eventually” Wanda tries to reassure her. The thoughts of (Y/n) had been so loud last night that she could hear them perfectly even if she tried not to, so of course she knew what happened. She wanted to go to your room and hold you, calm you or anything you needed to feel better but she knew you didn’t want anyone to see you like that, you wanted to be alone. She also wanted to look for that Alex boy and make him suffer as you are suffering.

Noticing the strange mix of sadnes and anger behind Wanda´s eyes Nat put the pieces together. “ Ты прочитал ее мысли (You´ve read her mind)” She simple states with her best poker face even if she was furious that she had invade yout privacy. Wanda looked regretfull “это было не мое внимание, мне очень жаль (it wasn't my intention, i am so sorry)” Tony and Clint share a look before excusing themselves and leaving.

Natasha didn´t know wat was happening, all she knew was that her baby was upset for something and she couldn´t help her or comfort her. When her head looked up to meet with Wanda´s eyes, she avoids them knowing what she was about to ask. Natasha inhales a sharp breathe, she wants to know what have gotten you in such a state but she also wants to respect your privacy, the conflict must have been showed on her face because Wanda walks to her and squeze her showlder trying to give some confort to her friend.

“How bad is It?” Natasha tries to mesure the problem in a logical way rather that let her emotioms take control but Wanda knew she was just puting a mask. She didn’t need to read her mind to know how worried she was and It was going to be worse when she finds out the truth.

“Very bad”

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#(y/n)#natasha romanov #natasha x you #mommy natasha #natasha romanoff #natasha x y/n #nat x you #nat x reader #natasha x reader #marvel

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danses-with-dogmeat · 3 years ago

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Male!Companions react to waking up alone after spending the night with Sole.

Hey all! So, just a heads up, I’m also working on this prompt for the Female!Companions for FO4, and also a bunch of companions from FONV and FO3, but if you have any specific requests or want me to add anyone, just let me know! Sorry this is so damn long, but I hope you all enjoy!

Also, there is a bit of angst in here with some mentions of suicidal thoughts, so just a heads up on that!

P.S. If you’re one of the lovely folks who has sent me an ask, I am currently working on writing them up and I will definitely get them out as soon as I can, I just really like the prompts y’all gave me and I want to do them justice :)

Danse:

Danse sat up with a start, immediately trying to gain his bearings, only to find himself still in the bunker, in his own bed. He let out a shaky breath, still dazed from the heavy sleep that had claimed him. It had been years since he'd slept like that, the last time he recalled sleeping so peacefully was when he was stationed at the Citadel in the Capital Wasteland. Even more than that, he had barely slept at all since discovering his true identity. Danse shook his head, trying to clear it of its sleepy fog, he went to rub his eyes, and he felt his heartbeat increase tenfold as the memories of his night with you came flooding to the forefront of his mind. Even now he felt the heat of a blush rushing to his cheeks. He turned his head, expecting to see your peacefully sleeping form on the mattress beside him. When he didn't, he wasn't sure what to do. Immediately, a slew of emotions and thoughts ran through him, ranging from shame, to panic, to anger, and most of all, hurt. Before he allowed himself to arrive at any premature conclusions, Danse called out for you, looking around the room. Nothing. He stood up, holding the blankets around his waist to conceal himself as he made his way to the hole in the wall that allowed him to peer into the other section of the bunker. Still nothing. The slew of contradicting emotions bubbled up again, leaving him feeling slightly numb. He stood there, just staring, trying to grasp a hold of any clear thought, but they were inadvertently tumbling into his consciousness at an alarming rate.

All at once, one feeling prevailed over the others, and Danse found himself feeling extraordinarily guilty. Guilty for agreeing to last night, for jeopardizing his friendship with the one person he had left in his life by greedily pushing too far. What right did he have to you and your feelings anyway, when his weren't even real? The pain of being deserted by you was overshadowed by the knowledge that he didn't deserve you in the first place. Even when he thought he was human, he had trouble rationalizing his feelings for you, thinking you deserved better than someone like him. Someone as hard headed, as inexperienced, and emotionally ignorant as he was. But now? Now, he wondered why you even bothered to waste any of your time on him, even just as his partner, when it was proven that he's nothing but a machine. Why had you even suggested last night, when you knew the truth about him?

He simply couldn’t understand it. Why had you allowed him to be with you in such a way? To be with you so intimately? Why had you allowed him to touch you so invasively? Why had you spoken to him so softly, so earnestly? How could your gaze have been so full of admiration, of love? He was a goddamn machine, and you’d let him share a bed with you, make love to you. He didn’t even know what love was, didn’t know if it was possible for him to even feel it; and yet, you’d been more open with him than he had been with anyone before. And he wasn’t even human. He was at a complete and utter loss for any form of explanation or reasoning behind your actions.

Danse stood alone in the bunker, staring ahead with brows furrowed low at no single thought in particular. It was then that he realized his heart was still beating out of his chest, he took a deep breath, and prepared himself to leave the bunker in search of you. Because, even now, when you were at the center of his feelings of uncertainty, of guilt, of hurt, he still felt the need to seek the counsel of the one person left he could truly trust, the one whose opinions he had sought in the darkest hours of his existence. He needed you.

More than that, he needed to make sure you were safe. At least that's what he told himself as he dressed, donning his power armor, before he rode the elevator up to the surface, his iron-clad hands clenching tightly as he gripped his laser rifle.

As Danse arrived at the surface, he noted the sunlight bursting through the lone window of the bunker, indicating how late he'd slept in, and he mentally kicked himself for his irresponsibility. If he had woken at his usual hour, would you have still been beside him? Perhaps he could've spoken to you before you left, encouraged you to hear him out, begged you to stay with him. Even just as a friend, just as a partner. He felt he simply couldn’t cope with the loss of you, of the security that you provided him.

Danse shook his head in an attempt to banish these useless thoughts from his mind. He couldn't control the past, he had to keep looking forward. With that, he crossed the threshold out into the Commonwealth.

Danse returned to the bunker a few hours before sundown, feeling utterly at a loss, he'd been everywhere he could reach, everywhere you could've gone in the period of time you had had to get there. He checked every house, farm, settlement… everything in the bunker's vicinity. His limbs felt weak and numb as he approached the entrance to the bunker. He could feel heat rising up in his face as his chest ached. He felt like he needed to hit something. Tears of frustration and dejection threatened to spill over, and he brought a gloved hand up to roughly wipe away the first drop that fell. Though, through the blur of wetness, he spotted a silhouette in the doorway ahead of him.

"Where the hell have you been?!" You shouted, running from the bunker and straight into Danse's arms. For a moment, he remained still, unable to reciprocate your relief in his state of utter shock. In the next instance, his rifle fell from his grip and he was wrapping his arms around you, as tightly as he could without injuring you.

"I believe I could ask you the same question, soldier." Danse said, willing his voice to remain stable. You pulled away so that you could look up at him, your expression one of confusion,

"I thought I told you last night. I had to go to Greentop nursery in the morning and talk to the settlers about their mutant problem." He blinked at you in surprise. At least, you thought you had told him, but maybe it had slipped your mind. It didn't surprise you, given last night's activities.

"But… Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because Danse, I've never seen you sleep in, I wanted you to get some rest for once."

"I would have rather been with you." He said quietly. You opened your mouth to speak, but he continued,

"It was irresponsible of you to leave me uninformed, you should have woken me. You scared me, Sole. I thought…" he took a quick breath to steady his voice, "I don't know what I thought. I woke up and you were gone, I wasn't sure if you were in danger, or if you were angry with me, or whether or not you even meant to return."

"Danse, of course I was going to come back, I just didn't expect you to be gone when I did."

"And for that, I apologize. However, I implore you to understand--"

"Danse. It's okay, we're both here now, we're both safe. And I don't know about you, but I'm starving. C'mon." You turned towards the bunker and went to make your way inside. Danse stood a moment, watching you walk away. Feeling began slowly returning to his limbs, and for the first time all day, his heartbeat slowed to its normal rate. He reached down to pick up his rifle, a small smile spreading across his lips as he moved to follow you back into the bunker.

Deacon:

Deacon opened his eyes, only to immediately close them again, as the bright morning sun showed through the windows of Ticonderoga safehouse, and directly into his retinas.

“Damn,” He said, reaching over to grab for his shades from beside the mattress. Once they were placed onto his face, he decided it would be safe to open his eyes once again. Deacon groaned as he rolled his shoulders, and sat up, stretching his arms overhead.

God, he felt good. The tightness of his muscles serving as a reminder of the… ahem, events of last night. Last night, with you. How the hell had that happened? He almost couldn’t believe it. After so many years of being alone, of feeling emotionally inept, and unable to move on. Here you came, seemingly out of some sci-fi novel, with your futuristic, time-traveling backstory, and inhuman good looks, and for some reason, you’d thought he was, of all things, cute. That was the word you had used, he remembered it vividly, and of course he had feigned being annoyed by the use of the word to describe him, but in reality? He adored the fact that you thought so. No one had ever referred to him as such, and the fact that it confirmed you reciprocated the feelings he had for you; that was truly extraordinary. These feelings that he had tried so desperately to bury deep down, where they couldn’t meddle with your friendship, or your professional relationship, or his own crippling fear of being committed to someone again (given how well it went the first time). Now, he barely understood why he had tried so hard to snuff out his emotions if this was one of the possible outcomes of revealing them to you. He never dreamed that you could have returned the affection he had for you. However, if last night was any kind of indicator… yeah, he’d say the two of you had pretty strong feelings indeed.

At least, that’s what he had thought. Until he turned to you excitedly, looking to see if you had woken yet, and found your spot next to him quite empty. His jaw clenched at the sight, but he took a breath and resolved himself to looking around the safehouse for your belongings. His teeth worried anxiously against the inside of his cheek as he noticed the distinct absence of anything belonging to you. Deacon stood in the middle of the safehouse, bringing his hands up to roughly rub at his face.

“God dammit.” He said aloud, unable to keep something from escaping him. Deacon liked to think he had a good bit of self control, it came with the job after all, a spy with no sense of restraint and proper judgment didn't live very long. However, you had this way of making him forget everything he thought he knew about himself. There he was last night, doing the one thing he vowed he'd never do again. Falling for someone. Him! Deacon, the immature, sarcastic, dishonest, and unemotional agent of the railroad; and here he was, head over heels for a widowed, pre-war saint like you. What a pair you two would have made.

I suppose it really was too good to be true. He thought bitterly.

Deacon grabbed his things and set off into the Commonwealth without so much as a glance over his shoulder. He stared dead ahead, refusing to address the pressure he felt in his chest. Trying desperately to maintain his cool and unbothered exterior, to remain the type of person he was before he'd met you. He always knew he could change the way he looked in a day or less, but the way you'd changed his perspective of the world, of his place in it, and his future? He didn't think you could have changed who he'd turned out to be if you had all the time in the world. Deacon was firmly set in his ways, so much so, that even he couldn't change who he was. No matter how much he despised himself at times. But man, had he been wrong, all the disguises in the world couldn't mask the fact that, for the first time in years, Deacon had a priority in his life besides the railroad, and besides himself. And that scared the shit out of him.

Now he wasn't really sure what to think. If you had simply wanted nothing more than a one-night stand, you could have just told him so. At least then he would’ve been prepared for this shit. For you leaving him, seemingly without a second thought.

The sniper shook his head roughly as he kicked up the dust of the wasteland, his footfalls much heavier than they had any business being. He always had prided himself at being a good judge of character, at being intuitive, but he never would have expected something like this from someone like you. Someone who cared about the happiness of everyone else more than their own well-being, someone who was kind, and selfless, and empathetic, someone who constantly put their own life at risk for the benefit of complete strangers. Sure, he did that occasionally, but his life was worth a hell of a lot less. You were a good person, and always had been. From the moment he saw you, everything he heard about you, all of it pointed to the fact that you, even after all you’d lost, after everything you endured, you were a better person than he could ever hope to be. And now, for you to do this to him? It was completely out of character. Whatever, he thought, if this is all you wanted from me, then fine. It's all you're going to get.

As he approached the Old North Church, Deacon mentally prepared himself for the possibility that you too would be at the Railroad headquarters. He decided to simply not acknowledge your… ordeal, and act as though nothing had changed. Though, if Deacon was honest (which he rarely ever was), he would rather not have you as his partner anymore. With the way he was feeling-- the way he had once felt about you, it would be too complicated. He didn’t need complicated. The railroad missions provided enough of that.

He entered HQ quietly, and mulled about, visiting with the others and picking up missions left and right in an effort to acquire enough distractions to keep him out of the church for as long as possible. He figured that way, the likelihood of bumping into you would be decreased enough for him to get a handle on himself before having to face you. But, of course, his plans were all for naught, he realized as you stormed into the catacombs, your glowering eyes falling directly to the bald sniper in the corner of the room; the sniper who was trying desperately to make himself seem distracted as he felt your eyes burning into the back of his head. At least you had the decency to lower your voice as you approached him,

“Deacon!” You hissed, shouting his name as quietly as one could shout.

He continued staring at the blackboard, a hand at his chin as he feigned interest in what was written there.

“What the hell?” You asked, taking another step towards him, close enough that he could feel your hot breath on his cheek.

“Hmm? Something wrong?” He asked, turning his head towards you while his eyes stayed glued to the board in front of him. You took a step back, and the next thing he knew, you had extended your hand forcefully towards his face, leaving a stinging red mark imprinted on his cheek in its wake. Deacon’s head snapped back towards the blackboard at the power of your blow, his sunglasses barely managing to hang onto his face by the bridge of his nose.

I’m not sure if I deserved that or not…

He brought his own hand up to rub the spot you had just slapped, finally letting his eyes meet yours from beneath his crooked shades. He nearly gasped at your expression. Your eyebrows were knitted together above your tear-filled eyes, your mouth a straight line as your chin trembled slightly. He’d say you looked sad, but behind your eyes, all he could see was fire. The same fire he’d felt when he saw that you had deserted him that morning. Or, at least, when he thought you’d deserted him.

Almost without thinking, Deacon grabbed your hand and dragged you back to the more private area of the railroad HQ. Despite your clear vexation with him, you allowed him to lead you to the back of the church catacombs, near the emergency exit.

“Alright, you finally ready to explain yourself?” You asked, wrenching your hand from his grasp.

“Me? I’m pretty sure it was you who walked out on me, and who just slapped me in the face for asking a simple question.” Your nostrils flared at that and for a moment, Deacon thought you were going to do something violent again.

“Okay, look, I know I’ve fallen for your lies before, but I think it’s pretty damn ridiculous for you to think that I’ll believe this one. I was there, Deacon! You left me. You took all your shit and left me alone at the safehouse. I don’t care what happened the night before, even if it was awful for you, or awkward for you to see me in that way, or whatever, you still don’t abandon your partner. We agreed to that the moment I became an agent.”

Deacon’s jaw dropped to his chest at his realization, and your accusation. He had left you? When? How? When was he supposed to find that out?

“Look, Sole, I’m a liar, I’ll give you that. But I’m a good one,” you rolled your eyes at him, a scoff sounding from your throat, “so, I wouldn’t even attempt to lie to you if I could see that you absolutely knew the truth.”

“God, if you’ve got a point, make it, asshole.”

“Ouchies, no need for name calling there, slappy. I’m just trying to figure out the miscommunication issue we’ve got going on here.” You glared at him, and he was forced to continue.

“The truth is,” Deacon looked down at the floor as he spoke softly to you, feeling as though the words were being wrenched from his throat, “I only left because I thought you had first. I woke up, and you were gone. Your things were gone. I thought that was it, that you were done with our… partnership. Done with me. And hey, I can’t say I’d blame you. Especially if you’d really think I could just up and leave after spending a night like that with you.”

“Oh.” you whispered, before trying to explain yourself, “I wasn’t-- I didn’t just leave, I mean, I went up to give High Rise the MILA for Tom. I was gone for five minutes, Deacon. I was coming right back.” The two of you stood a moment, as realization washed over you. And a bit of regret, too. And a sprinkle of foolishness.

Finally, he brought his gaze up to meet your eyes. Hoping his apology was as evident on his face as it was on yours. You brought your hand to his cheek, soothing over the angry red mark that you had left earlier, and Deacon flinched slightly at your touch, his eyes falling once again to the floor.

“It really only took you five minutes to think that I had left you?” You asked gently, the anger that had once been prevalent in your voice dissolving into concern. Deacon chuckled dryly.

“Haven’t I taught you anything? When you assume the worst, it’s a lot harder to be disappointed.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But I bet it makes it all the better when you find out you were wrong.” Deacon smiled weakly at you, shaking his head.

“Yeah, no. I’m not seeing the appeal in being wrong just yet.” The hand that still rested on his cheek slid to the back of his neck, grasping firmly as you pulled his face towards yours. The pressure of your brow displaced Deacon’s shades as you crashed your lips into his. He toppled backwards against the wall of the catacombs as you pressed more forcefully into him, his arms falling behind him to steady himself against the cold brick, as your unoccupied hand slunk up to his chest, keeping him pinned between you and the wall. You pulled your head back, but kept your hands in place as you murmured,

“What about now?”

“Hmm?” Deacon’s ginger eyebrows raised above his glasses as his mind went blank. You cocked an eyebrow at him, a smirk forming on your face.

“Oh, right. I suppose so. Though, I think I’m gonna need a few reminders every once in a while.”

“Hmm,” you mused, “I think that can be arranged.”

Hancock:

The ghoul awoke with a purr, stretching one ruined arm out to blindly search for your sleeping body. He distinctly remembered curling up with you wrapped tight in his embrace before lulling off into the best sleep he's had in years. For the first time in months he didn't have the nagging ache of wishing you were pressed against him as he settled in for the night. The thoughts of you lying so close but so painfully out of reach were finally pushed from his head to make room for the sheer bliss of being able to touch you, to feel your unbelievably soft skin, to breathe in your sweet scent and relish in the closeness of your body against his.

That was of course, until this morning. Hancock opened his eyes lazily, his dark gaze sweeping over the mess of bed sheets and pillows that littered the plush mattress. The sight of the disheveled blankets bringing back heated memories of last night. Before his brow furrowed at the realization of the current situation he found himself in. Hancock slowly rose from the bed, his dark eyes searching the surrounding room for any sign of you. He found his trousers, his hat, his coat... but nothing of yours remained where they had been tossed last night. If Hancock had a nose, it would have been curling alongside the rest of his scrunched up face as he thought of you leaving in such a hurry this morning. Hancock felt a pain in his chest and immediately craved a hit of something, anything, to numb the hollow feeling that began spreading through his body.

Sunlight shone through the windows of the old state house, the beams of light diffused by the ringlets of smoke rising from the ghoul's mouth as he took yet another hit of jet, trying hard to keep his mind blank, but inevitably failing as his thoughts returned to last night's events. Coming almost in slow motion, he picked apart every movement; every touch, kiss, lick, and caress, nitpicking every action he had made and thinking about what he might've done to warrant your desertion of him. But deep down, he knew that his actions mattered little. You had assured him on numerous occasions that him being a ghoul didn't bother you, but you had never really seen him before. Not in the way you saw him last night. Had never felt his rough skin on yours, had never run your hands up his ravaged body, the softness of your touch only amplifying the harshness of his own leathery flesh. You had never uncovered the gross discoloration of his radiation-ravaged body. But last night, you had finally gotten a good, long look. And here he was, thinking that you of all people could’ve seen past that. You had been able to forgive him for his past, after all. Hadn’t you? But maybe that had been part of it too. Maybe you’d finally realized all that he really was. A reckless and cowardly poor excuse for a man, who spends his life in a haze of delirium rather than facing the pain of being alive. A pain that he had inflicted upon himself to break away from that same self-righteous fog that he’d found himself in in the first place. It’s no wonder you’re gone. Maybe you were never even really here. Maybe you were just another daydream of his, just another hallucination. God, if that was the case, he didn’t even know what he would do. After having you so close, being with you like this? He didn’t really see the point in living without you.

Hancock sighed heavily at the thought. He didn't know how long he sat simply thinking, his perception of time temporarily altered by the jet, but he had to do something to alleviate this torture, and if chems wouldn't do it... well....

"I need some air," he rasped aloud as he stood and headed for the balcony, donning his coat and hat on his way out. The mayor had to keep up appearances, after all.

He almost didn't see you as he stepped through the door, the way you leaned out against the rail, eyes closed, a soft, beautiful smile playing at your plush lips. Hancock could've stared at you until the world around him turned to dust, but you moved long before that musing could come to reality. Turning to look at him, your smile brightened further, and Hancock couldn't keep himself from touching you. He grabbed one of your hands in his, using his other to caress your pink-dusted cheek, affirming that you truly were physically there, standing in front of him.

"And what were you doing out here all by your lonesome? Trying to give a ghoul a little taste of heartbreak?" You let out a soft laugh,

"No, sweetheart," you called him affectionately, leaning into his light touch upon your cheek, "I thought that you would sleep longer. I just wanted to get out and enjoy some sunshine." You turned once again towards the morning sun, the rays highlighting every one of your perfect features. Hancock beamed at the sight of you, before turning and looking out at his city in thought,

"Hmm," he mused, "Sunshine, huh?"

MacCready:

MacCready had been lying on his back for a while now, staring at the crumbling ceiling of the dingy little room at the hotel Rexford. This certainly hadn’t been his idea of an ideal location for your first time together, but who was he to complain? It was safe, and private, and it had been a damn good night. But he’d been staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, waiting for you to stir. He’d thought it was odd, given the fact that you always woke up first when the two of you traveled together, but he’d like to think you hadn’t yet stirred because of the way he had exhausted you last night, his chest puffed out at the thought of it and he let out a contented sigh. The thoughts of your night together spilled into his consciousness, and he stretched out his arms in front of him, snickering slightly at the soreness of his body, and suddenly, he couldn’t wait for you any longer.

“Geeze, you awake yet, sleepyhead?” MacCready rolled onto his side to face the lump under the covers. He ran his hand over the mattress, over to you, but as he reached the lump beneath the blankets, all he felt was plushness. He withdrew the covers from atop you, only to find… pillows? Just a pillow, and a blanket. MacCready’s body spasmed as he jolted out from under the covers on his side of the bed, his head flying from side to side as he looked for you.

“Sole?” He cocked an eyebrow at the empty hotel room, and as he noticed your absence, his expression quickly changed from confusion to one of anger. You had left? But why? Had he done something wrong? He didn’t think so… but maybe he just... wasn’t everything you expected from him. Feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach, MacCready climbed from the bed, grabbing his trousers from the floor and stomping around the room in pursuit of the remainder of his clothes, not failing to notice how everything belonging to you was no longer in the room either. Heat rose to MacCready’s face as he pulled on his duster, but he wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment, or anger, or heartache, or some combination thereof.

What the heck? He thought, you were the one to suggest doing this, why would you do that if you were just gonna leave me like this? Right when MacCready had thought he’d found the one. The person who could help him move on from Lucy after everything he’d been through. You were perfect, not just for him, but for Duncan too. You were selfless, and kind, compassionate, resourceful, sometimes you were a bit of a sarcastic ass, but he loved that about you. You were a parent and a spouse, just like he had been. You were both lost, and broken when you found each other, just a couple halves that had made each other whole. You were his future... Or so he’d thought. But who was he kidding? You were so out of his league, the two of you weren’t even playing the same damn sport. He should’ve known this would be the outcome. But then, why the heck did you let it go this far? Sure, he was the one who had poured all of his feelings out onto the table, but he didn’t know what he’d expected you to do. He just felt like he would explode if he held them in any longer, especially when the two of you spent so much time together. He saw you every damn day, and all he wanted to do was hold your hand, he wanted to sleep beside you and hold onto you through the night, to have you run your fingers through his hair and tell him that you felt the same way. MacCready never imagined you’d do something like this to him, never thought you’d get his hopes up, dangling the future he'd always dreamed of having right in his face before ruthlessly snatching it away.

He rolled his eyes at his own ridiculous train of thought and groaned as he bent down to grab his rifle.

“At least you paid for the room up front.” he mumbled as he placed his hat on his head and made his way to the door.

MacCready’s footsteps fell heavily onto each stair as he headed down to the lobby, wondering where he’d go from there. He considered going and looking for you, but what was the point? Clearly if you wanted to see him, you wouldn’t have freakin left. Was he really petty enough to seek you out just to tell you how messed up it was that you’d left him the way that you did? Maybe… but he needed a drink first. To the Third Rail it was, then. What was it, 10am? He could drink at 10am. He could do whatever the heck he wanted, especially now that you were gone.

MacCready reached the bottom of the stairs, looking straight past the small crowd of people that were gathered in the lobby as he made his way to the exit. Just as his hand reached the door, he heard his name being shouted. His body shuddered at the sound of your voice, and he stood stock straight as he decided what to do. One fist clenched as the other hand pushed the door open and he crossed the threshold into Goodneighbor. The door never closed behind him, and he felt an iron grip on his forearm as he tried to head towards the Third Rail.

“Ow, hey!” He spun to face you, face slightly contorted in his confusion. What was he supposed to think now? He was still angry and hurt, but should he be? Ugh.

“Wait, Mac. I know how it must’ve looked, but really, it’s just a misunderstanding.” He stared at you, his deep blue eyes clouded with suspicion. He didn’t say a word, not wanting to ruin anything by making false assumptions or accusations. Instead, he waited for you to explain, wrenching his wrist from your grip as he folded his arms over his chest.

Before you could continue, Rufus came up from behind, asking quietly if he could go through the doors.

“Come on,” you urged, “let’s get out of the doorway.” You herded MacCready to one of the couches in the lobby, seating yourself next to him.

“Alright. Explain.” He said, brows still furrowed. You almost snickered at how put-out the sniper seemed. You couldn’t quite tell if it was an act or not, but knowing MacCready… yeah, probably not an act.

“Rufus was having some trouble with Drinkin’ Buddy.” You told him, “The bot shut down and no one could get him to turn on again. This morning, some sort of warning light started flashing, so he came up and asked if I could help him fix it. I would’ve asked you to come along, but you were still asleep, and I know how you hate being woken up…” You trailed off, waiting for him to say something in response.

Man, MacCready felt moronic. Why had he been so quick to assume the worst? Okay, maybe not the worst, the worst would’ve been… Well, that’s not important. He shook his head, finally letting himself breathe deeply again.

“You sure that was it?” He asked, uncertainty coating his tone as he narrowed his eyes at you.

You leaned forward, smoothing a hand up his chest to the back of his neck as you brought your lips to his. Your fingers fiddled with the hair at the base of his neck and held him to you as your mouth moved against his, trying to answer his question without having to use your words. This was better, anyway. You felt a hand move to your waist as he relaxed into the kiss, his strong grip pulling you nearly into his lap as he returned your fervor. Only when you needed air did you pull back from him, your heartbeat still racing as you watched his gorgeous eyes flutter open.

“Did that answer your question?” You asked cheekily. He smiled, face still pink from the heat of your kiss.

“I don’t know, boss, I may still need some more, ah, reassuring.” You snickered at that, and glanced back at Clair’s desk.

“Any more convincing and we may need that room again. You think if we go now, we won’t have to pay the hotel for a second day?”

God, I think I’m in love. MacCready thought as he nodded to you, a boyish grin spreading across his lips. At that, both of you scrambled off of the couch, quickly making your way towards the stairs and up to the hotel room.

Nick:

The synth didn't sleep, but he didn't mind it. He stayed awake beside you in bed, replaying memories of the night over and over in his mind. Although he wasn't sure how comfortable it could be, he had his arms curled around you, holding you tightly to his synthetic chest while the memories of his favorite night (in either of his lifetimes) were running through his mind. You snored softly in his embrace, utterly at peace, as he gazed affectionately at your soft features. Nick didn't often feel blissful, and he never would've imagined himself in this situation, being completely content with the person he admired, and adored so adamantly, safely wrapped in his arms. He should've known it wouldn't last.

Without a sound, he felt as you slowly and gently pried his arms off of your body, climbing off of the shared mattress. Nick figured that you would give him an explanation; perhaps once you were out of bed? When you went to go and dress yourself? Before walking through the door? But you were silent throughout, even as he heard the door click shut behind you. Nick closed his eyes tightly, sighing to himself and wondering if the pain in his chest was substantial enough to cause him to short circuit. What had he done wrong? Even if it was nothing, he would understand why you had left. Even at his best, Nick could hardly amount to what any average human could give you, and he could never give you everything you wanted. Everything you needed, and deserved. He wasn't real. So he wouldn't blame you for leaving, hell, if he hadn't been so caught up in his own blissful feelings, he might've encouraged you to go. And he had, before last night had truly begun, he recalled asking you if he was what you really wanted. Then, you had seemed so eager, almost laughing at the thought that he couldn't be enough, after all this time the two of you had spent together, and all your pining over him. These thoughts circled through the synth's mind as he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He willed himself to grab a file and get to work, to do something, anything, to distract himself from the pain, but it was as though the weight in his chest was too much to bear. The height of his earlier high only amplifying the depths of his current low.

Every attempt to look through a case file was a failure, his yellow eyes roaming the first few lines of writing before his mind drifted off. To thoughts of where you could have gone, whether or not you would come back, and thoughts of last night. At the way you made his pistons fire at triple times their normal rate, the way you made his metal heart flutter in his chest, and the way you had come so beautifully undone in his arms. That was it. The moment he needed to remember for the rest of his days on this ruined earth. At that very moment, nothing else seemed to matter. He was sure he'd been foolish before, thinking you could never care for him in such a way. How foolish he'd felt then... it was nothing compared to now. The synth brought his metallic hands up to his face, the tips of his fingers displacing the worn hat on his head. He imagined tears flowing from beneath the heels of his hands as he dug them into his eye sockets, but of course none came. Would that have been acceptable? If he had been able to shed real tears, like a real human being, would you have stayed after last night? If he had been able--

The door to the agency burst open at that moment, interrupting the old detective's thoughts, and sending his head shooting back to see who had busted in so aggressively, his hat flying from its usual place atop his head.

The fact that the synth couldn't breathe didn't matter in this moment as he huffed a massive sigh of relief at the glorious sight of you, the light of the early morning sun casting a warm glow around your body.

"Oh doll..." the words escaped him as a smile began to spread across his synthetic lips, "for a moment there, I thought you were an angel." You giggled at that, your flushed smile causing the whirring in his chest to increase exponentially.

"I can't tell you how glad I am to see you, I was just about to open up a missing person's case on ya." You finally closed the door and made your way to his desk, leaning down to give his cheek a chaste kiss as you smoothed your hand over his chest, stopping to grab at his tie and pull him up towards you.

"Always the professional, hmm detective?" You smirked at him and he gave you a crooked smile before bringing his good hand up to stroke his thumb over one of your soft cheeks.

"Although," you continued, teasingly bending down to pick his hat up from the floor, "your uniform doesn’t seem to be up to the usual standards."

"Oh? Is that what you think?" He said, reaching for the hat before you held it behind your back, a mischievous grin forming on your lips,

"Sure is. You don't have your hat.”

“Oh? And whose fault is that?” He interjected playfully.

“And” you continued, “look at this coat, full of rips. It’s practically in shambles." you ran a finger down his side, allowing the tip of your fingernail to catch at the tiny holes littering the worn fabric.

"Hey now, my coat's always looked like that. You didn't seem to find fault in it when you were cold last night." You shook your head,

"Nope, I'm sorry Mr. Valentine, it's all in disarray, I'm afraid we'll just have to scrap the whole thing."

"Well now, if that’s what you were after, you could've just told me, darling. No need to insult--" His sentence remained unfinished as you tightened your grip on his tie, pulling him in for a kiss that was anything but chaste. He had so many questions left unanswered, but for reasons unknown, he couldn't seem to think of a single coherent inquiry to voice to you in this instance. Looks like it will just have to wait until later.

Preston:

Preston felt uneasy. His eyes had opened slowly when he had awoken, his heartbeat had remained consistently calm, dapples of sunlight shone through the holes in the curtains beside the bed, indicating that he had slept through the night. Why did everything feel so… so peaceful? No nightmares, no panic attacks, the usual insomnia Preston tended to face in the wee hours of the morning had never reared its infuriating head.

Then he remembered.

It was all because of you. Amazing, incredible, infallible, irresistible you. Heat flooded to his face as a coy smile touched his lips. Suddenly, he felt he had to be near you, he had to see you to believe what his mind told him had happened last night.

“Mhm, good morning," he sighed, as he turned to face your side of the bed, "how are you-- ?" Preston's eyebrows creased as he noticed your absence, his voice trailing off as he realized his question had no recipient.

"Sole?" He sat up, rubbing his awakening eyes before glancing around the room of your Sanctuary house.

"Sole?!" Preston said, louder than the first time. Perhaps you had simply gone to the washroom? Or to the kitchen maybe? Rising from the bed, Preston fetched his trousers from the pile of clothes that rested at the foot of the bed, trying not to dwell too much on the thoughts that it inspired.

But... only my clothes are here. He reflected, feeling a pang in his chest, before reminding himself that you might want to be clothed, wherever you’d gone, even if it was just in your own house. He released a bit of his anxiety in a quick breath, before heading for the bedroom door, he opened it gingerly, glancing down the hallway before making his way to each of the rooms in search of you. He did so slowly, hesitantly, in fear of what he might find. Or, rather, afraid of what he wouldn't find.

Preston stood in the empty kitchen, numb, his fear utterly realized. He collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table, afraid to let himself think, but unable to do anything else in his current state. Why, why, why did he have to act on his feelings for you? He just had to tell you how you made him feel, he had to be vulnerable and had to “put himself out there.” He just had to be intimate with you, he had to ruin everything. Why couldn’t he have just been happy with the way things were, with you as his friend? There he was, his life in danger, unable to help the people who needed him most, the Minutemen in complete disarray after having failed those they vowed to protect, and there you were. Here to save their asses, to turn his disaster of a life into one full of hope, full of light, and now, you were gone. You had left because he was an inarticulate, inexperienced, greedy, fool of a man who couldn't keep his mouth shut and just settle for having you as his general, and as his best friend. Why had he needed more? He didn't deserve more, not with you, hell, the whole damn world didn't deserve you, so how did he ever think you could want to be with him?

But you told me you did. You said you cared about me and-- No. Actions speak louder than words, and your absence after the first night you two had spent together… that spoke volumes.

Maybe you finally realized that I'm nothing special. Not compared to you. Maybe you realized that, next to you, and without you, I'm nothing at all. Preston balled a fist and pounded it weakly against your worn kitchen table, the dull thud resounding through the empty house. He sighed, sliding the chair back with a groan as he rose to his feet, heading once again to the back of the house. Entering your room without you felt like a crime, but he figured he might as well remove his things, and put on the remainder of his clothes, before leaving.

He stared down at the pile of tousled fabric at the foot of the bed, slowly untangling each individual article, secretly hoping that, if he took long enough, you would eventually make your way back into the room. That you would give him some inconsequential excuse for your absence, and he could forget all of the confusion and uncertainty of the morning. As Preston gingerly began to re-dress himself, thoughts came unbidden to the forefront of his mind. The way your soft, gentle fingers had undone each of the buttons of his shirt, the pressure tickling his neck, then his chest, down his stomach to his naval, your hands wasting no time as they moved upward to push the silky material off over his shoulders. He recalled the feeling of the smooth fabric of his scarf, as it unraveled slowly around his neck, a chill creeping onto the sensitive skin before you had chased it away quickly with the heated touch of your sweet lips. He remembered the breathy gasp that had escaped from you as your hands grasped tightly at the lapels of his coat, his mouth colliding with yours over and over again as his mind screamed for him to stop, to slow down, to ignore the fire blazing beneath his skin.

This is your general! It had told him, this is your friend, your recently widowed friend, your friend that you desperately need to keep in your life! If you screw this up, how will you ever be able to forgive yourself?

He should have listened to his head then. Why hadn’t he? Preston was sure that, if he had, it would have spared him from the awkward discussion he was bound to have with his superior officer in the near future. It certainly would have saved him the pain he was feeling now.

At the same time though... Last night had been the best night of Preston’s life. Did he really regret having those memories now? Yes, he had to. After all, what did last night matter if it hadn’t made you happy?

Preston shook his head, releasing a breath he was sure he’d been holding since he left the kitchen. Pulling up his boots, he grabbed the remainder of his things and left the room, glancing back at the empty bed one last time before placing his hat atop his head and pulling the door shut softly behind him.

The beams of morning sunlight chased away the fog that had settled in the streets of Sanctuary, bits of bright blue sky peeking through the gaps in the clouds. Looks like it’ll be a nice day. He thought somberly, trying desperately to perk himself up, lest he bump into any settlers on his patrol. He wouldn’t want to worry anyone with his troubled expression, and he certainly wasn’t prepared to answer any questions about his current state. Preston started towards the bridge, planning to begin his patrol of the perimeter from there. He was so focused on his destination, he nearly failed to notice the hand waving him down from the side of the street. When he did turn to look, his breath caught in his throat.

“Sole!” He exclaimed, much too loudly, as he noticed you, nearly dropping his laser musket. A wounded settler was seated on the curb, you were kneeling next to him on one side, wrapping a bandage around his arm, with Sturges standing on the other, an empty stimpak in hand. As soon as he processed what he was seeing, the Minuteman lieutenant tried desperately to compose himself, a blush inadvertently creeping up his cheeks as his eyes met yours. He adjusted his grip on his musket, and cleared his throat, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Is everything alright over here?” He asked, making his way over to the group, “What can I do to help, general?” you gave him a small smile, assuring him everything was alright, and finished tending to the settler who, as Preston found out, was a new arrival who’d run into a pack of mongrels on his way to Sanctuary. When they were all certain the settler would be okay, Preston quietly asked the general if they had a moment to talk, much to Sturges’ amusement.

“I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it, then. And don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” Sturges slapped Preston on the back as he passed by, snickering to himself. Preston felt heat rising to his face again and quickly motioned for you to follow him behind the house, hoping to get a little privacy. He took in a sharp breath, before releasing it slowly, and you smiled warmly at him. That’s a good sign, I suppose.

“How are you feeling?” He asked you quietly. Your eyes looked past Preston, almost as though you hadn’t heard him, and he felt a pang in his chest. Turning your head slightly, you glanced to either side, ensuring no one else was looking on, before turning back to him, looking into his eyes as a flush touched your cheeks.

“If I’m honest?” you started, and Preston’s breath caught in his throat, “I’m a little sore.” you said with a little smile, and Preston felt his knees wobble as his legs nearly gave out in relief.

“Heh, if I’m honest, me too.” He said, shyly looking down at his feet as he felt heat rise to his cheeks. “So, about that,” he continued, “last night, I mean. Did you, ahem, did you like--”

In an instant, your lips were on his own. The kiss was soft, but forceful, affirming all that Preston was uncertain of.

“Last night was… amazing, Preston.” You told him after you had pulled away, your hands resting on his shoulders, keeping his body pressed to yours.

“Then, when you left this morning ... ?”

“Sturges was looking for you when he found the settler on his patrol this morning, but he obviously didn’t find you in your bed, so he came to find me and--”

Preston groaned, an embarrassed smile forcing its way to his lips,

“He didn't see anything, did he?” You giggled at that,

“No, honey, he didn’t see anything.” You rolled your eyes playfully, before pulling at his shoulders, urging his ear to your lips, “But someone did. And I hear they really liked what they saw. You know who it was?” you whispered.

“Who?” you heard him breathe.

“Hmm, you really don’t know?” You sneaked a peek at his face, noting the goofy grin that spread all the way to his warm, chocolate eyes, and you couldn’t help but lean further into him. Preston drew an arm around you, his hand on your lower back, keeping you anchored to him, and all apprehension following this morning’s events seemed to be forgotten.

“You might just have to remind me.” He said cheekily, pulling you into another kiss.

X6-88:

The tightness in his chest was the least of the courser's worries as he woke to find himself utterly alone. You were gone, that, he knew. But where-- no, how? How had you woken and readied yourself without also waking him?

He never should have agreed to last night. Not only was it completely inappropriate, given your future position in the Institute, but it had distracted him from his main duty. The most important mission he'd ever been assigned: to watch over his charge, to keep them safe. To protect you. He had grown distracted, and now you were gone. The future director of the Institute, someone he respected and idolized, a person he cared about, more than anyone he'd ever come across in his existence, was just gone. His loyalty to you was akin to his loyalty to the Institute itself, and that was non-negotiable, unbreakable, hard-wired into him. You had won his devotion on your own, which made it that much more meaningful. And that much more painful when he realized that you might not feel the same loyalty for him. But why would you? And why did he care? He was allowed to feel allegiance towards you without you needing to return it, was he not? But … if you had felt this loyalty for him, you surely wouldn't have left him alone, correct? At least that's what it seemed like, but X6 wasn't particularly knowledgeable when it came to this subject. He didn't know, these thoughts confused him, and normally you were the one to help him make sense of his more... human tendencies and emotions, but clearly in this instance, he was on his own. You had treated him like no one ever had, like a real person, and so he thought he could start acting like one. Feeling like one. But he was wrong. X6 wasn't wrong often, and he hated the feeling. In his current state, every feeling he had was a negative one. He decided to shut it out. These feelings weren't helping him protect you, which was still his mission, reciprocated loyalty or not. Sitting around, contemplating his emotions didn't help him to find you.

The courser sat up and climbed off the mattress, grabbing his clothes that he had folded neatly beside the bed last night, noting that only his were present. After you had fallen asleep, X6 had untangled his body from your own as gently as he could, so as not to wake you, and had placed your clothes beside the bed in preparation for the morning. He had retrieved his courser uniform from the floor, with the intent of dressing himself and sitting on watch for the night, but you had stirred, sleepily requesting he return to the space beside you. He remembered hesitating, before folding his coat and placing it on the table beside your own clothes and doing as you had asked. Sliding beneath the covers, he had laid on his side, placing an arm around your waist. He remembered wondering if what he had done was correct, if he was doing this all right, but you had seemed happy, and that was all that mattered to him. So, if he had done nothing wrong, why had you left? Taken your clothes, and your bag, and your gun, and vanished without a trace? And when had he started caring about your happiness? Your health, and your safety, yes, he should certainly care about those, given the nature of his orders. But now he cared about how he made you feel. He wanted you to be happy, and he wanted to be the one to make you feel that way. But why?

X6 shook his head, attempting to clear it, and grabbed his rifle from the top of the dresser. It was distracting thoughts like these that had forced him into his current predicament, he wasn't about to make that mistake again. Placing his shades onto his face, he prepared to head through the door, and out into the wastes to search for you.

X6 surveyed the surrounding area outside of your home in Sanctuary: the gas station, Abernathy farm, Tenpines bluff, even the inside of Vault 111. Yet, there was no sign of you. He returned to Sanctuary and found your house still empty, the hollowness growing in his chest as he realized that your leaving really had been intentional. Elsewise, he would have stumbled across you, or some sign of you, by now, right? He stood in your old kitchen, his knuckles paled at the death grip he held on the edge of the counter, his jaw clenching as he tried to hold his emotions at bay.

How could he have agreed to last night? And why would you have presented the idea if you had meant to do this to him in the end? With a groan of frustration, X6 pounded a hand against the countertop, leaving a small indent in the shape of his fist. Not only had you left him, you had done so without warning, without explanation, and now he couldn't find you. He couldn't find you. That's what he did, he was a relentless hunter, a cold pursuant, he completed all of his missions efficiently, he followed Institute protocol, he followed orders. What he didn't do was get wrapped up in human emotions, he didn't throw caution to the wind and give into his most base desires. He was a synth. He didn't yearn, or want, or love. Or at least he hadn't.

Not until he met you.

The courser sighed, fists still clenched in frustration. He didn't know what to do, you were his mission, but if you commanded him to leave--? But you never actually had ordered him away... In his eyes, there was only one option for him to consider.

"Unit X6-88, ready to relay back to the institute. Alone."

A flash of blue, and he was back. No one asked him to report in, and he didn't offer. He started straight towards the SRB, wondering what the consequences would be for his behavior. A memory wipe would be the best outcome, especially if... Oh. But if they saw the memories from last night, what would happen to you?

X6 stopped in his tracks, turning quickly to go up the stairs that ascended to the residential portion of the Institute. Once again, he was at a loss. He didn't want to lose those memories, but more than that, he didn't want anyone else to see them. You were the first person he's ever met that treated him as a human, saw him as one, made him feel like one, and he couldn't bear the thought of what the Institute scientists would say about you, say to you, or do to you, if they saw what you had done with him. The courser looked down at his feet as he walked quickly, moving instinctively towards your quarters. He turned down the hallway, and recoiled at the figure that appeared as your door dragged open. X6’s eyes widened beneath his shades, and he cleared his throat to keep himself from gasping in surprise as your eyes met his.

"There you are! I was wondering when you would finally turn up, I finished with the meeting hours ago. I was just about to go out and look for you. Don't tell me you slept in this late?" You said with a grin that spread all the way to your glorious eyes. X6 couldn't form words, he just stood gawking at you, his mouth half open, looking like a complete fool. Right, the meeting with Father. How had he forgotten?

"Is everything okay?" You asked, your smile being replaced by an expression of concern. The courser didn't answer, he still couldn't keep his thoughts in order; instead, he stepped forward until his chest pressed against yours, urging you to back into your quarters. You did so rather hesitantly, a confused expression causing your brows to crinkle. When the door had closed behind him, X6 slowly reached out his arms, wrapping them tightly around you, just as you had shown him last night, he pulled you to his chest and held you firmly. The warmth of you, your soft hair and sweet scent calmed his strained nerves, and he finally allowed himself to take a deep breath and close his eyes, just for a moment. As quickly as he'd initiated it, he pulled away from the hug, squaring his shoulders and straightening his posture,

"I'm glad you're safe, ma'am/sir."

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glimmerspirals · 2 years ago

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WHIRLPOOL WINGS OF FIRE HEADCANON DUMP TIME!!!! READY OR NOT HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!

- whirlpool can fight, but he's not very confident in his open fight skills, I think he'd prefer to ambush or poison/backstab his opponents

- he's left-handed

- likes green tea

- is allergic to blooming algae

- doesn't like parties & stuff even though he enjoys being in the center of attention

- he lives on the surface just because he has so many scrolls and he’d die if any of them got wet

- whirlpool wings of fire doesn't know how to channel his anger so he just kinda. bottles everything up.

....or maybe he writes goofy wacky stories that involve his enemies dying horrible deaths

...or him banging their moms. whatever he feels like

- he adopted a lot of simply little behaviors from his mom

- young whirlpool was that kid who'd remind the teacher about the homework and get bullied for it

- but nobody could bully him bc his mom's a councilor and he'd tell her whenever he got picked on

- he actually searches for typos in scrolls instead of just reading them

- he didn’t have any friends for the entirety of his dragonethood. clearly this had nothing to do with his attitude, upbringing and parental intervention.

- whirlpool is that type of guy who needs glasses but refuses to wear them because they look 'cringe' . For now he just squints, which, combined with his usual face, looks like he is either suspicious of you or is planning something EVIL

- his mother was executed by coral. Luckily for whirlpool & stream, that was young coral who wasn't so hateful towards offsprings of people who've wronged her. Whirlpool still gets kind nervous every time coral brings riptide up, though.

- whirlpool plans all his spendings for the month and then impulsively buys ton of silly useless stuff

- he'd buy silly little trinkets for coral or whoever he's trying to suck up to

- he'd usually buy things that are kinda what the person likes, but are also fit his preferences, so he could keep the thing if it got rejected

- whirlpool is at his worst when he knows no one can harm him and that he is in position of power. honestly if he was a king he would power trip HARD.

- he is naturally better at building relationships with dragons older than him and has no idea how to communicate with children

- Whirlpool wings of fire would be the type of guy to recite long philosophical monologues in his head and go "wow he's literally me" at patrick bateman

- young whirlpool is a nerdy brat who will die if people won't praise and give him attention for one 1 minute

- bro really goes "if they want to be friends with me they'll have to act first" and when everyone ignores him and he has no friends he be like "they're just to stupid for me and my Unique Specil Personnality"

- whirlpool tries to become king just bc everyone expects him to and he doesn't think why would he want to become a king, and conveniently nobody asked him about it

- he'd just have a breakdown if he had to question his own motives

#wings of fire #seawing #whirlpool wof #headcanon #headcanon dump

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kisilinramblings · 3 years ago

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You know, when Ladybug was giving Miraculous temporarily to people, no one made comments such as “She should consult Chat Noir beforehand”. Though we did got “Chat Noir should be giving Miraculous to people too!” while in canon, what CN did mind was to be left completely in the dark about what was going on, not the fact he couldn’t partake in the decisions nor the selection of potential candidates. Because the powers and the people LB selects are part of LB’s plan to defeat the Akumatized villains.

But when Ladybug decides to give the Fox Miraculous permanently to Alya so she can be Marinette’s backup ressource, there are people upset she didn’t meet with Chat Noir and discuss about that decision with him?

Like what changed?

I do agree we are heading toward an episode similar to Syren if Ladybug still keeps Chat Noir too much in the dark again that makes him feel useless or question his presence in the team. But that people get mad on Chat Noir stead for not being “consulted” on a decision that has always been up to LB? Especially that she is now the official Guardian and Chat Noir respects and follows her lead and convulated plans?

Even when, during Miraculer, when CN saw that Chloé was still lighting her Bee Signal and realized that LB didn’t yet take the time to tell Chloé the truth, Chat Noir just reminder LB to go talk to Chloé instead of offering to go in LB’s place. Why? Because it is LB’s role.

Even when, during Furious Fu, Chat Noir tells Ladybug he will accept to give back his Miraculous if only Ladybug decided so because she is the only Guardian in his eyes? Because he trusts her?

I mean, Chat Noir isn’t oblivious either. He notices things too. He has his own point of view and LB usually listens to him. And Chat is usually open to express himself unless he has been hurt. That’s when he shuts down. But otherwise? He supports LB however he can contribute.

All that to say that at the end of Optigami, when CN asked LB how she knew there was a sentimonster hidden inside the Miraculous, LB answered him:

“Thanks to my Lucky Charm, Kitty. It always shows me the right way, but this time, I was shortly led astray”.

And you see his reaction.

He gets serious. He doesn’t say anything yet, but mentally seems to take notes.

That day, Chat Noir wasn’t able to be much by her side or so he thinks, but that doesn’t mean he cannot be the support LB needs. If Chat Noir sees Ladybug be led astray again during one of their missions, Chat Noir will remind her and raise a flag.

Because he has the knowledge and power to do so. He has the objectivity precisely because he isn’t personally involved. Because he knows they need a focused Ladybug to succeed. Whereas all the temporary Holders are “sidekicks” who follow LB’s lead and authority. Including Alya. Heck she has tried to take some initiative and regretted it because it almost lead the Bad Guys to know Ladybug’s secret identity. So chances are very high Rena will just stick to LB’s plans because she doesn’t want to put her best friend in danger again. Whereas Chat Noir is more at ease to propose things and work with and around LB’s plan so she can succeed.

Anyway, even if Chat Noir knew about the whole Ladybug and Rena Rouge ordeal at this point, even if Ladybug did ask him what he thinks about it, I wonder if really Chat Noir’s opinion would have mattered in the balance. I assume it would have ended like how LB didn’t understood what her Lucky Charm was trying to warn her about until the very last minute.

It was fitting Ladybug was fused into Lady Bee for this episode. Because the Bee Miraculous is used by someone who can defy authority. And that was what Lady Bee was doing. Defying the omniscient guidance of her Lucky Charm. It is only when Ladybug was back as herself that she questions why her Lucky Charm didn’t have any use to defeat the supervillain this time around.

Anyway, is Marinette making the wrong decision by permanently giving Alya the Fox Miraculous? I think Trixx did point out the issue.

“See? I am right, even if I am not”.

Marinette knows who to trust, however like any human, her biases, her emotions and traumas can cloud her decisions. We want to believe every character and person will react logically to a situation they are personally living. Spoilers alert, unless they are a machine or from a race that has no emotion, they won’t. And Marinette is mentally recovering from a severe breakdown. And who ended up being her life raft during that difficult period? Alya.

Marinette does have a point. She needs someone who can be her backup when she is unable to transform. She cannot always count on the Kwamis since their respective power comes with a chaotic aftermath. She can be in a position where she thinks it isn’t safe to transform.

She has Chat Noir who can stall the villain and buy time but it is only if he manages to be there on time too. And after witnessing the Chat Blanc timeline, Ladybug is avoiding as much as she can to trigger it back. Adrien discovering her secret identity was one piece, but there was another piece concerning Chat Noir and her and that is was she is afraid of and that concerned their secret identity that was later found out and used by Hawk Moth to akumatize Chat Noir.

And then, there is Alya to whom Marinette revealed herself when she was at her lowest and who have been nothing but helpful ever since. Alya is now so much involved with Marinette either as a superhero or a civilian. And Marinette relies on Alya. And now, it looks Marinette is starting to depend on her maybe too much that it will affect Alya in a way she is unprepared for. I’ll keep an eye on Alya’s relationship with Nino. It sure did shake her to find out she had been fooled by SM and that she didn’t realized the being in front of her wasn’t the real Nino.

Alya is a good and trustworthy ally. She does learn from her mistake and works to do better, but I agree Marinette didn’t seem to have made the most enlightened decision there and Chat Noir’s opinion would probably have changed nothing.

By wanting to be relieved and have someone to back her up, I think Marinette is not clearly seeing the burden she is imposing on Alya.

Btw, I am personally presuming that even if Alya could transform at any given opportunity now, it doesn’t mean Rena Rouge will be present all the time on the team during patrols or Akuma attacks. Rena Rouge would still be on-call when the power or Illusion is needed. Like how she had access to the Miracle Box, but still waited for Marinette’s instructions.

Still, i wonder how much time it will take for Chat Noir to point out LB is maybe relying too much on Rena Rouge and putting her in danger more than necessary.

#miraculous ladybug #ml season 4 #ml s4 spoilers #ml spoilers #optigami #ml s4ep13 #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #alya césaire

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captnjacksparrow · 4 years ago

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SNS Dynamics - Sasuke's Perspective

Lengthy post ahead

On completing my rewatch of Naruto part I and part II, many things which never made sense started to make sense. One among them is the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke. I used to ask why Naruto is going so far for Sasuke. And why Sasuke is helping out Naruto even though he wants to kill him. And I used to think that Episode 478 was retconned to make the final battle ends in a draw and Sasuke somehow made to reconcile with the titular character. Yet, I instinctively felt, ‘Something is very different about them’. But on careful rewatch, all the clues which consolidate their relationship was there. The way they love each other is totally on a different level and the creator very carefully planned this from the beginning of the Manga.

Though I really don’t like the ending for making every characters into a child rearing machine at an age of 20 to make way for an abomination called ‘Boruto’, I still loved everything till Episode 479.

I wanted to discuss about both Naruto and Sasuke's perspective. But that cannot be accommodated in a single post. So, I decided to start with Sasuke. Since Naruto's side of SNS is very open and vocal, we clearly knew what is going on in his mind. But Sasuke's side is usually very subtle but much more intense than Naruto which makes it worth analyzing.

Before getting to that, for most of the characters in the Naruto universe (I mean 99%), Sasuke is a person who looks cool, aloof, rude, overbearing, blunt, genius and emotionless. And that’s the truth. Except for Itachi and Naruto. So when I say he is rude or arrogant, it is from the people’s POV. And since I always see myself in Itachi, I see Sasuke as that adorable innocent child who is very honest but forgiving.

I strongly feel that Sasuke has some innocent enchantment towards Naruto ever since he lost his family which later transcended into a bond which cannot be put under Friendship or Bromance. Enchantment, here I meant by, is not in a sexual way but more like the unconscious need to be in the presence of other person. Like walking beside each other eternally. Or even warming up next to a campfire near a chilly beach. You don’t want to fall into the fire but just enjoy the warmth. It maybe totally a platonic love like many claims to be. But his absolute disinterest in any other characters (even just as a friend) and the following traits he shows only to Naruto are clearly not just distinctive of platonic love either. It’s completely beyond platonic.

The following are the traits which Sasuke shows only towards Naruto, could have been avoided or delegated to other characters if the creator really wanted to assert their relationship as just friendship. There are lot of subtexts and emotions which I cannot accept it under the guise of bromance or friendship. It’s just not possible. If someone you like shows all these traits to another person, you should stop thinking about that person and move on.

The traits are :

Preferential Treatment

Attentive

Protective

My body moved on its own

One and Only

Powerful Eyes

Unconscious Closeness

Preferential Treatment

This is the very basic and first thing you show to someone whom you love. Meaning, I will treat this person much different from everyone else. When I was exploring this trait, I couldn’t stop laughing in many places. Because Sasuke is such a trolling machine who mercilessly trolls people who are in his way. He also inspire certain amount of fear which makes him even more unapproachable.

He has this cold bearing where people find it extremely difficult to manage or approach him. It comes off as very rude most of the times. One such example is Sai told Sasuke that he will get along better with him than Naruto. Sasuke put a Genjutsu on him for comparing himself with Naruto. LOL.

What's more funny is most people (Sakura, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Sai, Hinata) usually talk to him politely with honorifics like 'Sasuke-kun'. But he didn't give two shits about them and shitted them all mercilessly.

Here is the infamous proposal from Sakura in part 1.

Well she deserved this one to be honest. Throughout the entire conversation Sasuke never saw her face and responded very bluntly even though she was pouring her heart out crying. There was no visible distress or sadness from Sasuke’s side.

Whereas with Naruto, in the final Valley of The End, we saw him turning towards Naruto and answer him properly when Naruto asked the same question of what Sakura asked. There were so many emotions throughout the battle and Sasuke’s pain of leaving Naruto was clearly shown. Which explains the difference of where Sasuke keeps Naruto in his heart.

The following is the one from Chunin Exams prelims where Sakura is begging for him to quit with tears. The response is an usual 'Stay out of my business'.

Me: Sasuke!!!! Even I don't know how to approach you!!!! I understand you don't like to talk unnecessarily so you just shitted on Sai. But Sakura is your teammate, isn't it?

And then there is this little orange blonde who literally trolls Sasuke.

I really thot Sasuke was going to trash Naruto too, like he could have easily said, 'Naruto, you should also stay out of my business'.

But then

These words are something precious for Naruto. He wished for these words to come from Sasuke someday in his lifetime. But not at that time. And he was truly shocked and very excited. Believe me, when watching that scene, it was really great. But while making analysis like this, it’s absolutely hilarious.

This dynamics is similar to

Sakura: *cries unbearably* Sasuke-kun, I am worried about you. Don’t act so strong.

Sasuke: Shut up. Mind your own business.

Naruto: Bastard! She is worried about you.

Sasuke: Alright, I love you. Now shut up.

ROOOFFFFL :-D

I thought all these childhood bickers were over by part 1 and we will never see it in part 2.

Nope. I was wrong. Kakashi and Sakura were the scapegoats here.

Here's another round of applause from Naruto.

And I honestly cannot comprehend what was going on in Sasuke's mind and why he is really rude to Sakura and Kakashi. It seems he was really irritated by their presence or he maybe thinking they were useless or both.

When Naruto asks him something, he responds without any insults. What baffles me most is that during Infinite Tsukuyomi, Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto for his Revolution and awaiting his fated battle. And yet he answers him properly.

Can you see the pattern here?

He shits on people asking some question even with an utmost polite attitude but when Naruto asks the same question he was like "Alright Sweetie, Am gonna answer anything you want and say anything you like".

The following is the beginning of everything where Naruto can't even swear properly but still Sasuke couldn't even bother.

In short, the way he treats Naruto is quite different and hilarious when compared to the others. With his cold bearing, he absolutely has no need to put up with Naruto's outburst but he still accepts without a care every time. RIP to those souls who got the short end of the stick.

He must have an extreme tolerance towards Naruto's tirades to the point where he can never insult him back. And I also believe 100% that, nobody dares to make such frequent insults on Sasuke to his face except Naruto.

I know SK shippers jump in here to say Naruto is not the only one. But still the dynamics between Karin and Sasuke is simply a mirror image of Naruto and Sasuke, probably she reminded him of Naruto and hence made some exceptions for her because Sasuke never gives a damn about any other clan other than his own, but when Kabuto tells him Karin belongs to Uzumaki clan, he was shocked. I am pretty sure the only other Uzumaki member he knew is none other than Naruto.

Now, does this means he is in super love with Naruto? No.

But the way he treats every other characters and how he treats Naruto exclusively speaks volumes and this trope shouldn’t have existed in the first place. The creator should have made Sasuke treat both of his teammates equally which could’ve deflected the shipping angle.

Attentive

Am not talking about how attentively he analyzes his enemies in the battles. Of course, in that department, Sasuke flies high. This is about how attentive he is to Naruto to the point where he can deduce what Naruto thinks and how Naruto looks without the need to communicate with him.

I know Sasuke suspected Sakura was acting strange before Chunin Exams when she said 'Good Morning' with some hesitation. But the difference here is that Sasuke can identify Naruto without even talking to him.

Funny thing here is that Sasuke was sitting somewhere far behind from Naruto and yet he could pick up Naruto getting freaked out without seeing his face.

Who could forget about the famous ‘Where’s real Naruto?’ episode during Chunin Exams?. It would’ve been fine if this happened once. But the creator went ahead and made this thing happen twice under entirely different situations. And everytime Sasuke can find fake Naruto without fail. This scene conveys Sasuke is very observant towards Naruto’s appearance & fighting skills (the way he evades an attack).

Now, being attentive to someone is not a special thing which attributes to love. But considering Sasuke’s personality who is aloof and focused on his own world, knowing Naruto like the back of his hand is way too descriptive. Only someone who really understands the other person or constantly paying attention can find out such subtle changes. It doesn’t end here.

This is the battle between Gaara and Naruto. Where Naruto was literally confused about how to save his friends from Gaara who is much more powerful. And yet Sasuke can find Naruto’s mood just by seeing him.

Me: Yes, Sasuke!!! Gaara happened to pass by Naruto and forgot to kill him on a whim!!! So, Naruto is scared to the shit!!

Also Me: You guys always bicker with each other and are not best of friends. Sasuke!!! How could you analyze his mood just by looking at Naruto????

In Shippuden, There’s no inner monologue like the above, but whenever Naruto appears before him (Orochimaru’s hideout, Bridge, War arc), Sasuke gives his undivided attention to him. He even went so far as to advice him to pay attention to the battle. And I was like “Wait!!! you wanted to kill him... why pay attention to him at all? Geez”.

As much as you want to think that Sasuke doesn’t care about anyone, he does care about Naruto to the point where he doesn’t want him to be worried. How thoughtful just for a ‘teammate’.

How did Sasuke knew that Naruto would worry about him?, I wonder.

But all these things started from this

This boy has been noticing Naruto from way back when he was around 7 when he lost his family. Of course he would know every little things about Naruto because for some undefinable reason he couldn’t stop paying his attention to Naruto. A lineup of girls vying for his attention because of his cool appearance, whereas Sasuke simply loved Naruto without any reservations but because of his childish and warm personality which reminded him of his family.

‘I couldn’t stop paying attention to you’ and in some translations the words were ‘I couldn’t take my eyes off you’. Either way, these words are not for someone you see just as a friend let alone a brother.

Protectiveness

I can go on and on about how protective Sasuke is towards Naruto. I can write a separate post about it. This is the most important aspects of this ship which makes it sail higher than any other ships.

Of course, this is the Ninja world where people wants to protect each other and at the same time kill each other too. Sasuke protecting Naruto and Naruto protecting Sasuke is not too special. In fact, one of the weak and pathetic character like Sakura was saved once in every three episodes by Naruto or Kakashi or even by Sasuke sometimes.

And yet here I am mentioning protectiveness as the most important aspect of this ship. So what differentiates?

The way Sasuke protects Naruto is one of the intense thing I’ve ever seen. When I watch this series, I gained this immense ability to put myself in other characters mind just like Naruto. When I put myself in Sasuke’s mind whenever he tried to protect Naruto under different conditions, I simply cannot put their relationship under Friendship.

Here, Naruto is fighting Gaara in part 1 and Naruto was repelled by his own attack from the paper bomb. Sasuke being already battered by his curse mark bruise and he couldn’t move an inch. And yet he is shielding Naruto even though it is completely unnecessary because Naruto bumping into a tree log is completely normal. The creator even went under a lot of pain to draw that panel which took 40% of the page.

Now you may question, many characters even died protecting someone. What’s so special with just shielding?

Like Hinata jumping in for suicide before Pain, Iruka blocking Mizuki’s attack, Tsunade blocking Orochimaru, Neji dying as a ‘Love Cupid’ for hinata and Naruto.... I can cite many things here. What’s common among them all is that they were all perfectly capable of moving around and yet decided to save Naruto.

But that’s not the only point.

Is there any need for him to save Naruto? No.

Will Naruto die if he didn’t shield him? No.

Then why? He could have spent that energy trying to do something for Sakura rather than do a pointless shielding.

And then there is Kushina.

Naruto’s mom was already on the verge of dying as she had Kurama extracted from her body and Jinchuriki without a Tailed Beast will die. Because of Uzumaki clan’s strong life force, she could hold off for a bit longer. When kurama attacked Naruto, she shielded him with her body and saved her son from an imminent death.

Even though Sasuke didn’t die shielding him, but there is a semblance.

Both protected Naruto even when their body condition is worse. That is, Protect at all cost attitude.

I intended to put Land of the Waves arc here as it is very similar to what happens with Kushina. But that’s for an upcoming section.

Now, as a Mother her instinct to protect Naruto is very strong.

But who is Naruto for Sasuke? What makes his instinct so strong to protect someone who is not even related by his blood? Until and unless you love that person dearly you won’t do it.

That brings me to the next thing.

Yeah, it kind of looks ‘very friendly’ to give a 3 layered protection to someone who is already powered up like you and most importantly you want to kill him.(Can I say that looks really romantic?). Anyways my point is different.

What really happens here is this

It is a well established fact that Minato, the Yellow Flash is the fastest shinobi in Narutoverse. It wasn’t surpassed yet. He uses the Hiraishin No Jutsu to teleport at the speed of light. It was invented by none other than Tobirama Senju who is the fastest shinobi of his time.

We basically have two fastest shinobi in the battlefield here. And Minato being the fastest among them, definitely don’t want to blow up near his son for whom he died protecting him once. He wanted to teleport somewhere away and before he could do it, Tobirama teleported the bomb back to Obito.

What many fails to notice here is that all these things are happening in mere seconds. But Sasuke realized it real quick as usual and protects Naruto in an instant. How fast his instinct you may ask? Quicker than the two fastest shinobi on the battlefield and one among them is Naruto’s dad.

What I want to say is Sasuke’s protective instinct is quicker than Naruto’s father and similar to Naruto’s mother.

And you know, I questioned myself during the Chunin Exams arc “I think in the Zabuza arc, Naruto conveniently happened to be near Sasuke, So he protected him at the cost of his life. What if Sakura happens to be there? Would he have done the same? Maybe he would’ve died protecting her too.”

But all of my questions were thrown into drain by Sasuke as if he was able to read my mind. The answer is “Hell! I don’t care if she died. That’s her loss. I will not die for her sake.”

This is really confusing, hilarious and romantic at the same time.

Me: Sasuke!!! I understand why you want to save Jugo... Even though you abandoned him in the Land of Iron. LOL. What are you going to do with Naruto anyway when the whole world is blasted off?

He proved this again in the Kaguya’s Lava dimension too. Before you tell me that he saved Naruto because he needs him to seal off Kaguya, the previous scenario nullifies your argument.

And SS wankers shamelessly defending that Sasuke don’t want Sakura to die by Kaguya’s hands, that’s why he left her to die. Geez!!! Who the hell is Sakura to Kaguya anyway? Even if she were to die by Kaguya’s hands, it would almost look like how Obito died. It’s not bad at all. But falling into the lava pit, burning, screaming.... sssshhhh. Wake the f**k up!!!

Now how can you convince me that this is just Friendship? What’s more funny is Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto later at some point. Throughout the War Arc I was always confused as to why Sasuke even care about Naruto at all? He didn’t care about him ever since he left him 3 or 4 years ago and he doesn’t have to. After all everyone have their own paths to walk on.

Even if I put myself in Sasuke’s mind and see Naruto just as a friend whom I want to kill, I wouldn’t go under so much pain to save him. I would feel like it’s better for him to die by something else rather than me. Because I can’t bring myself to kill someone I know well.

These scenes are not just put there by chance.

Such a strong reflex to protect someone is only possible when you consider that person’s life more than yours.

Does any other ship has such things to show? I’ll wait.

Yeah Sasuke protected Sakura from Orochimaru and Gaara. But he also went so far to wait for Karin and awakened a new power to protect her. So does this means he love those girls?? No. He was just showing a team camaraderie. But it’s funny that later, he tried to kill those girls knowing full well they are unprepared to fight him. While with Naruto, it always comes with a warning. Try to understand this difference. Which is exactly why I didn’t put Sasuke saving Naruto during his Chakra training, or falling from the waterfall and many more. Because they are just a team camaraderie.

I don’t even have to compare with other ships, did Sasuke ever protected anyone like this in the whole series?. These are the things which could’ve been avoided or handled in a different way, like there was no need to emphasize on saving Naruto alone while ignoring others.

My body moved on its own

I don’t need to explain this any deeper. There are many people who says Sasuke is incapable of showing his true feelings. He is cold, rude, aloof and stoic so he always hides his feelings for everyone (mostly this line was used by Sakura wankers who wanted to portray that Sasuke always loved Sakura deeply but never shows). But they fail to understand the irony that one of the most beautiful line in this entire series was told by none other than ‘Sasuke Uchiha’, “My body moved on its own”.

Yet I find Sasuke shows his honest and heartful emotions before the people he loves. If he can show that to Itachi and Naruto, why not with Sakura?

I know those wankers try to say Sasuke repressed all his feelings until Chapter 698, so he has some romantic feelings for Sakura too. Bullshit!!!

Even though he repressed those feelings in his mind, his body always betrays him in the end and his feelings pours out from time to time. That is what this section explores about.

Man, this is the most painful GIF I have ever made.

In his battle with Itachi, he was completely consumed by the feeling of revenge and hatred for his brother. But when Itachi approached him in his final moments with an intention (seemingly) to snatch his eyes, he still couldn't push Itachi away though he could have. Sasuke just looked into his eyes and let him do whatever he was about to do.

Why?, Because he loved his brother so much once that he don't know what to do but simply embrace that moment. These are the moments your mind says to close your eyes or even run away (he totally could have) but his body will not allow him to.

This is what I meant by your body betrays yourself. Even in your darkest moments, you cannot fake. You always show your true emotions towards the person you love. The more you suppress, the more it will burst out.

Here Sasuke’s hatred is glaring through his eyes because Sakura is persuading him to not do something he wants to (as always). His only motivation is to kill that man. His resolve is a real deal.

But in a matter of minutes after giving that long hateful speech with some heavy determination, when he saw that hungry blonde boy who was tied up for trying to steal food, Sasuke just acted on his own and served him food even though he was told not to which could jeopardize his career.

This bipolar dance is something to notice throughout the series and is always interesting to explore. When Sakura tries to dissuade Sasuke from something, he always retorts to insults or an angry stare. But when Naruto accidentally stands in Sasuke’s way, he always involuntarily helps him out.

In short, towards Sakura he was like “Even you cannot take that path away from me” but when turning towards Naruto, he was like “Well, I can risk everything for you at the cost of my path”.

This seals the real deal for SNS ship.

At this point, for us viewers, Naruto is just an orphan who has no friends but always carries his life with a positive spirit hoping that someday he will be accepted by everyone.

Unbeknownst the fact that he already has one person who was willing to die for him and putting all his dreams into fire.

Important thing to notice, It’s entirely at Naruto’s fault for them being in this situation. If Naruto had used a bit of brain to attack from outside the mirror, they wouldn’t have been in this situation. But still Sasuke plunged into the trap without any regrets. That’s the beauty of this scene.

What’s more thrilling is that the creator told us Sasuke loved Naruto in the very next chapter itself.

How?

By making Haku jump before Zabuza knowing full well that he is going to die which is not very different from how Sasuke shielded Naruto.

And not only that, but by making Naruto say “He really loved you”. I got to say the creator may sucks at writing Sakura and Hinata for God only knows for whatever twisted reasons. But when it comes to male characters like Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Obito... he was just amazing and on another level.

How?

By indirectly drawing parallels between Sasuke and Haku in a matter of successive chapters.

By dropping indirect hints and crumbs like these to tell us, the audience, the motivations of the characters.

I always had the thought why did he risked his life for a boy who always fights with him? This became more emotional when we get to know the real reason for why Sasuke risked his life much later in chapter 698.

Having faced all the turbulent things in his life, somehow seeing Naruto doing all those childish stuffs made him feel relieved. That warmth was what he needed at that time. He wanted to escape from it but couldn’t. That’s why he embraced his warmth unknowingly in his Team 7 days by constantly reaching out to him starting from asking tips, concerned about having breakfast and training with him to climb the tree.

Sasuke even come to like Naruto more than himself and that’s why he was willing to die for him.

This feeling is definitely not a bromance or friendship. It’s an innocent enchantment you hope to last forever. Which again explains why he tolerated Naruto’s insults and hostility all those times. Because Sasuke knew those childish things were the ones he got attracted to him ever since his childhood. Rather than saying tolerated, I should use the term enjoyed. He really enjoyed those moments being bugged by Naruto for no reason.

Because just like Itachi said to Sasuke once, ‘If you are excellent you become alienated and arrogant even though you were sought after at the beginning’ . But Naruto pestering him means he is very curious about Sasuke which no one else tried. He was adored by those girls for his coolness and revered by those boys for his excellence but nobody really tried to befriend him. But Naruto tried to befriend him through Rivalry. That’s why Sasuke unconsciously started to like him. This also explains why he roasted Sakura for badmouthing him even though Naruto attacked him and tied him up earlier.

If Sasuke can show all these feelings even though he was trying to suppress it towards Naruto and Itachi, Why can’t he show a single normal feeling towards Sakura??? Because there isn’t one. Except for an old Team 7 camaraderie where he saw her as an acquaintance and nothing more.

Many NH shippers claims, but Hinata loved her ‘Naruto-Kun’. She jumped in front of Naruto to save him from Pain, when in reality she just acted selfishly and couldn’t pull out the Chakra rods. Meaning she failed whatever she was about to do.

Another interesting thing to cite for NH shippers, they claim for Naruto, Hinata is the most important person his life. Since when? With that shitty movie called ‘The Last’ with shitty retconned stuff? In all the 699 chapters he always claimed Iruka Sensei and Sasuke were the important people in his life. And you know what? For Hinata to like Naruto, he has to jump in to save her from the bullies. But for Sasuke he just saved Naruto without any validation. He saw Naruto and liked his presence and just did it.

When you could accept that failed attempt as a love, why not accept Sasuke loves Naruto when in fact he succeeded in saving him and that too unconditionally?

This is one of the tropes which should have been avoided if the creator wanted Sasuke and Naruto to be just friends.

One and Only

This is something very special that is offered to that one person in his life. That is Naruto. Even Itachi knew it. That is the Power to influence Sasuke’s heart. This is the fact even Sasuke himself knew it and that’s why he wanted to kill him.

Now don’t compare this with the manipulation shit which Orochimaru and Obito were doing. It’s not that. Many Sasuke fanatics always blame Naruto that he is also manipulating Sasuke just like everyone. That’s totally wrong.

Manipulation is something you do by talking about some twisted facts and make the other person to do what you want to.

Naruto never did that. Ever. Whenever Naruto and Sasuke meet, they always talk about themselves and how they feel. Not the world, not Team 7 or anything. Which is exactly why Sasuke himself willingly left that space in his heart for Naruto when he left him in the Valley of the End which he badly wanted to destroy. Sasuke, of all people, know Naruto is also very honest.

Sasuke lost all his rationality when he went into darkness by stabbing Karin who was helping him in his battle with Danzo. She even replenished his chakra many times. He not only just stabbed her, after when he found her still alive, he decided to finish her off with his Chidori.

And then the pink haired bitch appears before him and started to concoct lies with malicious intent to kill him. This provoked Sasuke more and more to reach this point.

Believe me, when you are lost in darkness, all you need is a small light which can show you a path. Someone who can extend helping hands to lift you up with honesty.

Sakura, being a crass woman, riled up Sasuke further with full of nonsense.

If you want to picture the darkness,

This is exactly how Sasuke feels. He is in so much pain and don’t know how to face it or deal with it. So he started to destroy everything he sees. For him Karin, Sakura, Kakashi are all just some pebbles in his way and want to trample them as he goes. His entire life has become farce after knowing his beloved brother’s real pain and miseries. Now he has no one left from his family.

Until Naruto appears.

He may not be his family, but he is the only person left for him in this world. Which is established in many Naruto endings and even Sasuke himself accepts this with Sage of Six Paths.

But my Cherry Blossom queen really loved Sasuke, she only wanted the good of him. My question is ‘Then why the fuck she tried to kill him? She looked at Sasuke and find that he changed. She didn’t even bothered to find out what’s going on from his side.’ Then how is this considered as wanting only good for him?

Surprisingly Sasuke calmed down a bit, the moment Naruto appears and even started to respond to him which he didn’t before with Kakashi and Sakura. Deep down Sasuke himself knew in his heart that the path he is going through is Self-destructive. Just like Kurama tells Naruto ‘Destroy everything you see’ in the Pain arc when he sprouted upto Eighth Tail, Sasuke’s traumatic mind tells him to ‘Destroy Konoha’.

All he needed was someone to extend an helping hand to tell him what to do without any malice. Naruto did that. Just like what Minato did for Naruto in Pain arc.

After clashing Rasengan with Chidori ,they meet inside the White bubble space and Naruto talks to Sasuke which evoked all his past memories which he never wanted to awaken.

That’s why Sasuke was visibly shaken with Naruto’s words. Because those were the words which mirrors exactly how Sasuke feels too. He was surprised and shocked that Naruto also felt the same way without him ever openly confessing those feelings.

When everyone tried to kill him for his monstrosity, Naruto is the only person standing there seeing him as his friend. Just like how Iruka saw Naruto way back in 1st chapter.

Believe me, even at the depth of darkness, when you see the person you love so much, you will stop and rationalize.

That is exactly why Itachi left Sasuke in Naruto’s hands. He even admitted to Sasuke that his words will not reach him no matter what.

Sasuke may not have abandoned his ambitions at that point. But Naruto gave him a clear path. That is ‘Show all your hatred on me’ and then do whatever you want.

I know SS shippers will claim that back hug from Sakura changed his murderous behaviour during the Chunin Exams. Yes. That’s true. But right after that, when Sasuke was fighting Yoroi in a one-on-one combat, his Cursed Seal flares up again. He retracted that seal out of his sheer will and thought about both Sakura and Naruto who was freaking out without even knowing about the seal. So, it’s not only a Sakura exclusive moment. The creator even went ahead and drawn a panel asking Sakura to not say anything about the Curse Mark to Naruto. Why do that?

As far as I understand, Sasuke saw Naruto and felt the warmth of his family. He singled that out in chapter 698. When Naruto was placed in the same team as him, he started to extend his good side to his other team members as well. But the moment he decided to leave the village, he severed the ties with Sakura (was there ever one apart from considering her as a teammate?) by saying Thank You. Meaning, you helped me many times so thanks for all of that. What’s more pitiful is, he didn’t even look at her face for the entire conversation except for saying ‘You are really annoying’. There is nowhere in the manga where Sasuke singled out Sakura for making him feel anything and did something for her exclusively. It’s all in the context of Team 7.

If Sakura is the most important person in Sasuke’s life, he should have stopped the rampage the moment he saw her but instead he got riled up more and more. Which explains where Sasuke kept her in his heart. Literally nowhere. He threw her into the trash. LOL.

If Hulk can calm down after seeing Betty Ross and you call that love, why not accept Sasuke loves Naruto??

Powerful Eyes

You know, Even in real life, Our eyes always reflects our true feelings, just like how your body betrays your mind , your eyes even betray your body.

Just like how Itachi could never fake his evil brother act in his final moments.

Just like how Sasuke couldn’t turn away from Itachi when he was approaching him to seemingly snatch his eyes.

Uchiha boys being a romantic bunch, always expose their awakening/ reawakening/ evolving their Sharingan in a most distressed situation. Just like Madara and Sasuke exposed their brimming eyes for Hashirama and Naruto. But in this department, Madara is wildly romantic as always. LOL. Despite losing 3 brothers, he awakened his Sharingan only when he was breaking up with his ‘friend’. And Sasuke, he reawakened / evolved Sharingan when trying to save / breaking up with his ‘friend’. Such a Biological defect!!!!

Poor Sakura pathetically fails in this department.

Anyways this part is not about Sharingan anyway. It’s about how such a powerful eyes becomes powerless before those Blue Eyes.

Eye Symbolism is something I really enjoy exploring in this ship.

Like I mentioned earlier, Sasuke has never shown his emotions atleast starting from Part II. He usually never shows any positive emotions like happiness, laughing, pouting, love, excitement (although he has shown all these towards Itachi and Naruto) and is known for negative emotions like anger, annoyance, hatred.

Look at how Sasuke is glaring with hatred for her insensitive words. She deserved this to be honest.

Now, is there any need to show your fury towards Kabuto?

Since the beginning of the Shippuden, some facts have been established strongly:

1. Sasuke has changed by leaps and bounds in terms of his attitude and hatred.

2. Sharingan is pretty dangerous. Many characters including kurama acknowledges it. Sasuke is very adept at using his Sharingan.

Orochimaru maybe right. But he doesn’t know the weakness. LOL

His hatred has reached to a point where he couldn’t think anything rationally and started to kill everyone, just like how Naruto kicked Sakura in his 4 Tailed Kyuubi Mode engulfed with the hatred of Kurama. Meaning, to reach his goal, Sasuke will kill anyone in his path without any hesitation. This shot is the representation of this.

And yet when he saw those particular Blue eyes, he stops his rampage immediately and visibly shocked even. That’s the look of ‘why is that blue eyes here?’

You have every right to accuse me that I am over exaggerating this scene. I am not. Even I wanted to think that way too that I am deluding myself. The creator has only consolidated my view pretty strongly.

There’s no need to emphasize on eyes at all. The anime team has went under so much pain to animate this scene in a satisfying and compelling way.

What’s more? The creator even went under further extent to draw a whole page in the manga focusing on their eye contact after the Rasengan vs Chidori clash. Meaning, Sasuke has calmed down visibly and became very easy to reason with.

Trust me, even in your darker / vulnerable moments, your eyes will reflect your true feelings to the person you love. You cannot be stubborn.

Now did it stop here?? Nope, it happened again in the Final Valley of the End battle too.

Sasuke is usually confident of his Sharingan (rightfully so) and likes to flaunt his eyes just like Madara. He was very sure that he was going to win.

While Sasuke had a clear resolve to kill Naruto when he was showing his back, but the moment he comes close with those Blue Eyes, his heart even pounded strongly (in the anime), and lost the resolve completely which made his Sharingan retract itself unconsciously. Meaning, his eyes betrayed him.

It’s funny that not even a minute ago he was very proud of his Visual Prowess as an Uchiha and his victory is inevitable but the moment he saw those Blue eyes, he just lost. You think I am again exaggerating?. Nope!!!

Oh Dear!!! This doesn’t get more romantic than this. An inescapable gaze from those blue eyes he loved all along.

Sasuke!! What happened to your proud Uchiha eyes?. You just stole Chakra from Naruto, isn’t it? Hints like these are really heartwarming, to be honest.

My entire point is, every character from every arc hypes up Sharingan starting from Zabuza, Haku, Rock Lee, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Kurama and many more, but why put a weakness for Naruto’s eyes?

What I really loved exploring is the way Sasuke totally expressed everything through his eyes in Episode 478.

Sasuke shows his vulnerability towards Naruto with just his eyes. These are not something you show to everyone. Even when Itachi departed finally after releasing Edo Tensei, Sasuke looked sad, shocked and pained but didn’t cry. He accepted the reality of it. The last time when we saw him crying, it was after knowing the truth of Itachi, facing towards the beach and was weeping unbearably because there was no one else for him in this world. But this time, he is next to the person whom he feels truly loved and he doesn’t mind showing it with his eyes.

Well, on multiple rewatches, the clues for their love was already dropped in the 1st Valley of the End fight itself. Sasuke already lost his resolve to kill by balling his chidori fist rather than ramming through his chest. So the feelings inside the bubble are their honest emotions like always.

The pain on the verge of their separation inside the white bubble is clearly evident from their eyes even in their monstrous form. Even in the manga it was mentioned that ‘I can’t turn my back Vs I am not letting you go’

But what they really wanted to be from their childhood was this.

Look at Sasuke, how entranced he was on looking at that innocent boy. Now put yourself at Sasuke’s mind. Will you ever look at your friend like that??? Now, they are probably just 7 here, am not romanticizing. But Sasuke looks enthralled innocently.

But somehow, their paths separated them for who knows how long. But the pain in both their eyes is unbearable. Even the databook, mentioned that separating from Naruto is like ripping half of his body. Well, this proves it.

Now, if they really wanted to portray this as friendship, they never should have given Eye symbolism at all. They should have gone with ‘I was always jealous of you’ thing, like they portrayed in that filler episode 450.I would’ve gladly accepted it as friendship. Because that’s how friends behave when they are jealous and I wasn’t feeling any romance at all. There’s no need of that lengthy monologue on how he was always looking at Naruto and felt pain.

I am telling you, I won’t be looking at my friend like this.

Unconscious closeness

Remember, I’ve written in the beginning of the post that Sasuke enjoys the warmth from Naruto. Meaning, he likes that person’s presence unconsciously and want to be near him. Sasuke proved this many times.

This is the most intense and confusing section I have to dissect for this post. But it’s the most entertaining nonetheless, atleast for me.

Starting from the Land of the Waves arc, here Sasuke is speed walking to match up with Naruto.

Initially I thought, he is trying to be competitive. But instead of walking ahead of Naruto to show who is faster, he just walks beside him. I find this really hilarious and adorable. This just shows Sasuke likes Naruto’s presence so much so that he wants to walk beside him.

Now many SS shippers tries to make this scene for themselves, when it is clearly not.

If you notice Sasuke in the Bell Training, he compares his strength difference with Kakashi and determines to get stronger. Same with Might Guy, he compares Might Guy’s speed with his own Sensei. Meaning, he respects people with strength. Naturally, he should’ve asked her and Sakura would have given him tips wholeheartedly. Because she really succeeded in that training.

Why bother to ask a deadlast?

The only reason I could find is that he wants to befriend him in his own stubborn way. But Poor Soul!!! He didn’t get the tips anyway. LOL. But despite getting the short end of the stick, he never hold it against him. Just like he never held anything against Naruto when he tied him up in Episode 3. All he did was just flaunt how he escaped.

Pretty cool for a 12 year old kid. Because If I were Sasuke, I would hold it for sure.

Once again Sasuke proves how he can care Naruto in his own adorable way.

He could’ve said ‘I am going to train too” if he really intended to train. There is no need to say ‘Going for a Walk’ and ask Naruto about breakfast. This explains that Sasuke simply missed the boy’s prolonged absence and reached out to him in his own cute way.

Now all these doesn’t mean he was in love with him. It’s just a childish attraction which makes him act like that involuntarily.

I just added this GIF to compare with the next scene.

Now Shikamaru falling on Naruto in an unconventional way doesn’t look anywhere romantic. Instead it’s the opposite. They are pretty friendly here.

But Sasuke’s approach to Naruto does looks undeniably sensual and I couldn’t deny the sexual tension that brings with it. (Even when I watched it for the first time having no idea of shipping anyone, I lowkey got creeped and thought, ‘Sasuke!! What have you become? ’)

This scene is something even I can’t dissect. Because honestly I don’t know. Sasuke is a person who never appreciates physical touches nor does he initiates either.

I get this crazy femme fatale vibe when seeing Sasuke with his sexy costume landing at a speed of lightning with his hands wrapped around Naruto and taunting near his ear about what was he doing there? The only reason I could think of is that maybe he missed him for 3 years which made him go unconsciously so close near Naruto. It’s also funny that he could’ve shoved his sword into Naruto’s heart before landing and no one could’ve batted an eyelid.

Damn you, Kishimoto!!! Is this scene absolutely necessary??? What are you trying to convey? Why do you give Sasuke, a sexualized aura?? I understand you love this character so much and you want this character to be desirable among women. Yeah, you succeeded by making Karin behave like a woman in heat, the moment they met. But instead of letting her get close to him, you made Sasuke to say ‘You... Don’t get so close’ whereas with Naruto, you made Sasuke to go willingly touch him in a half hugging stance. Geez!!!

Here comes the most interesting part in this section.

It may seem irrelevant at the beginning but trust me, it will make sense later.

Before that, I would like to appreciate the creator and especially the anime team to bring the battle sequence so lively and different in its own way. If you notice the purpose of every battle that happened in Naruto series, each carries it own meaning and deliberately distinguished. How you ask?

The fight between Deidara vs Sasuke.

Logically Deidara should be dead in the Gaara retrieval arc itself. There is no point for him to chase Sasuke who killed Orochimaru to whom Deidara had nothing to do with. It didn’t impact the story in any way. But the purpose of that battle is to show how far Sasuke has grown up in those 3 years. The way he can use his Sharingan to analyze his enemies abilities and weakness so quickly and take multiple steps ahead, the way he can use Genjutsu and other incredible jutsus in his arsenal were a visual treat.

Now, let’s analyze Sasuke’s arsenal of Jutsus. He can do Teleportation Jutsu, a decent Genjutsu, Chidori Senbon (needles), Raikiri (Chidori sword which ranges to 5 metres), Chidori Nagash (Chidori from his whole body), Transformation Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu Shuriken Jutsu with wire works, Kirin, Gokakyu No jutsu, Sword fighting, basic Hand-to-Hand fighting (I’ve never seen him do it ever since the Chunin Exams with Orochimaru), Archery fighting, Susanoo, Amaterasu and all the Rinnegan abilities.

Based on the jutsus he learned so far and how he applies in every battle, it all confirms two things:

Sasuke is a Medium-Long Range Shinobi

Sasuke’s battles are usually based on his Cleverness

Let’s go for Naruto. He can do Teleportation Jutsu, Sexy Jutsu, Harem no jutsu, Rasengan, Rasen Shuriken, Oodama Rasengan, Biju Dama, Tailed Beast Mode, Kage Bunshin No jutsu, Sage mode jutsu, Frog Kumite, Better Hand-to-Hand combat skills (better than Sasuke), Transformation Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu and all his Six path abilities.

Compared to Sasuke, Naruto’s jutsu variety is very less. But for every 4 punches from Sasuke equals 1 powerful punch from Naruto. Analyzing all of them,

Naruto is a Close-Range Shinobi except for his Rasen Shuriken

Naruto’s battles are usually based on his Jutsu Timing and Unpredictability

Now, Let’s rewind back to 3 years and look at the 1st Valley of the End battle. That battle was cleverly choreographed which carried very intense emotional baggage. Things we never knew about those boys until then were openly admitted and acknowledged. That is, for Sasuke, Naruto became his closest friend. For Naruto, he always wanted to be Sasuke’s friend way back when he was 6 or 7. For both, they already have some unexplainable bond by just looking at each other and smiling secretly.

The theme of that battle started as Am going on my own path vs I can’t allow you to tread on that dangerous path and ended up with I want to break our bond vs I don’t want to.

Now, this posture represents, Naruto is the one who pursues Sasuke to stop him from whatever he was about to do. Meaning, Naruto is the one who is constantly reaching out and Sasuke as usual kicks him out violently, that is he is pushing him away. That’s the essence of the whole battle.

Considering all the battles in the Naruto universe, I categorize them as follows:

Best Calculated (and emotional) battle - Itachi vs Sasuke

Best Hand-to-Hand combat - Kakashi vs Obito (what a fight it was!!!)

Best Mega Powered Up battle - Hashirama vs Madara

Best Emotional battle - Naruto vs Sasuke (1st valley of the end)

Best Unpredictable/Entertaining battle - Naruto vs Pain

Despite having all the potential to fulfill the above categories, The Final Valley of the End Battle never bested in any of them.

As analyzed before, the boys have grown up to greater heights. I expected a battle between Cleverness of Sasuke Vs Unpredictability of Naruto

But what I observed was something so intense. That is Unintentional closeness.

This battle symbolizes one thing: I am going to kill you to get lonely vs I won’t let you kill me because you will be alone.

Being a long range fighter, I expected Sasuke to go for this.

If you have to kill someone you love, it is best to keep your distance. Sasuke knows this full well when he battled with Itachi. Except for some Sword fighting, he maintained a certain distance to fight Itachi throughout, until the very end.

But when fighting Naruto, all I got was this.

That’s when I finally understood that this posture means, the fight is very personal. Which means, Sasuke or Naruto won’t be fighting by sitting on top of each other with their enemies or anyone else. That’s just between them alone.

There was no analysis or cleverness from Sasuke’s side or any Unpredictability from Naruto. It was very bland and Sasuke looked clueless throughout the fight.

It started with some boxing style combat, including stealing hand seals and then some power punches. Very quickly it propels to Susanoo vs Tailed Beast mode. I expected some Hashirama vs Madara level power battle.

But all we saw there was this.

I mean, Come on!!! Man. Even the most Crazy and openly Romantic Uchiha, Madara himself never fought like this in Susanoo with Hashirama (Though Madara must be thinking ‘Damn Hashirama! I should’ve tried this with you’. LOL). Those mega battles carried variety of tactics.

Another thing I noticed was, Sasuke is the one who does lots of talking and constantly pursuing Naruto. Whereas Naruto is uncharacteristically quiet for the most part.

And finally it leads to this.

Sasuke was unconsciously getting closer and closer to Naruto which is the opposite of what he wants to do. Because of that very closeness, he couldn’t look at his eyes with his Sharingan and eventually got an uppercut. It’s like Sasuke was screaming, ‘Hate me’ and Naruto was like ‘Keep talking’.

Every jutsu he had for attacking from a long-range were forgotten. He didn’t even try to put Naruto under Genjutsu. I mean with his Rinnegan, he was capable of putting all the 9 Tailed Beasts into a powerful Genjutsu. Why didn’t he try that with Naruto? There was no Chidori Stream or Lightning Blade.

I can imagine Naruto doing close range fights with someone or even sitting on top of the enemy. Example, part I, Naruto head bumped Gaara. He was literally fighting with his Shadow Clones against a Monster so he had to get closer. Naruto monstrously punching Deidara not knowing the fact that it was a clay clone.

But Sasuke??? Can you imagine Sasuke sitting on top of the enemy and punching to pulp??? No way. Not a chance.!!!

In one way or other way, Sasuke was always in the close proximity with Naruto throughout the battle and touching each other which is totally uncharacteristic of him when compared to his other battles.

Every battle he ever fought was always at a distance which is the clear representation of his own character. He is calculative, analytical, precise and moves fluidly with a flair like a true Ninja unlike Naruto who is always reckless, noisy, powerful and clumsy.

Sasuke is someone who never lets his emotions get ahead in the battle, unlike Naruto. This is evident from the War when he was yelling at Naruto to stop worrying about Hokage as they were Edo Tensei who can regenerate. Even when fighting with Itachi, he calculated every move and attacked Itachi without any emotions except at the very end. Sasuke in this final battle forgot who he was and telling us viewers “Am just gonna get closer to Naruto and punch him hard”.

In short, Sasuke completely forgot all his battle tactics he had with Itachi and let his emotions get ahead of his cleverness and got himself closer to Naruto which eventually ended up weakening his resolve to kill him. This is what I meant by Unintentional Closeness.

Anyways, what I understood was, the creator didn’t put all this by without any meaning. It’s all very deliberate and drawn carefully.

Moving onto the final and the most defining moments of SNS.

When I watched this scene for the first time, I can’t comprehend the exact meaning. And I forgot about this later because of my excitement to know what happens next. But what I understood on my rewatch is that, the feelings exchanged here is very pure and innocent but distressing.

Sasuke already lost his resolve to kill by not ramming Naruto with Chidori instead balled up his fist. So he is not contemplating whether or not to kill Naruto.

Sasuke made every effort to leave Naruto and succeeded in it too. But somehow, accidentally, when faced with a person whom he considers so precious in such a close proximity, despite have a stinging pain in his arm, he is feeling the warmth he once felt. He just wants that warmth to prolong for some more time and he can’t able to evade it. So he totally gave in to that desire and feeling it unconsciously. Sasuke always watched Naruto (unbeknownst to him) and felt warmth, relief and weakness. This scene is the symbolic and innocent representation of all those feelings when he saw Naruto and he is exeriencing it for the final time.

Does this means, does Sasuke wants to kiss him? No.

But every symbolism of that being happening is there. It’s just all open to interpretations. The creator could show us how Sasuke fell on his knees and staring at Naruto intently but never intended to show when he got up and left. I don’t understand this twisted mind of the creator.

Added to that, Sasuke was about to say ‘Naruto, I....’ God only knows what he was about to say. But every possibility of Sasuke confessing and kissing is there.

I know the creator cannot approach this directly considering the situations he worked under. But is there any necessity for such an intense scene? Even the anime creators loved this scene and made their own version of making Naruto’s eyes wide open and even more closer.

I wont be watching my friend or sister like that.

That explains all the way back to this fated accidental scene.

There is nothing special about this scene. It’s all very clear that the kiss was accidental. It was really funny. But my point is why Sasuke never beat him to pulp or even push Naruto away like he did with Sakura and Karin? Why did he stood up for Naruto before Sakura? Why did he let go off Naruto even though he tied him up? Too many leeway for a single person in a single episode. And the most important part is, Sasuke thought it was intentional and remembers the taste. LOL.

Does this means he enjoyed the kiss? Not at all.

Most probably he was shocked to see Naruto in such a close proximity after seeing him from a distance for all those years. And he enjoys this as just another prank from Naruto in his own innocent way. But he won’t mind getting another one from Naruto either.

So, to conclude

I believe I made this post from an objective standpoint without making crazy theories and I don’t have to..... since canonical resources were plenty. Obviously my own bias will also be there which is unavoidable. But I tried to question the creative choices of why this scene even exist in the first place many times. Because those are the scenes which made the most impact inside me.

My first watch of Naruto gave me the benefit of doubt that ‘Are they in love? Nah... They are friends. Maybe I am just overthinking... but why does it feel different??’ and that too only after finishing episode 478. After rewatching it again and again, it only consolidated my view.

For Sasuke, his worldly ties are pretty thin and runny. He was always a loner from the beginning even when he had his family. He never bothered to make any friends nor did anyone tried to befriend him. He was pretty close to his family especially Itachi. When he lost everything, somehow he got attracted innocently to Naruto and started to like him. But beyond Naruto he never bothered to add anyone in his heart. He considered Kakashi and Sakura were like his acquaintances who helped him a lot and that’s all.

Then after using Orochimaru, he gathered some high skilled shinobi for killing Itachi. But he made it clear that there don’t need to be any understanding but just co-operation would be enough. But along his way, he just abandoned Jugo, Suigetsu somewhere. He openly said to Karin that she is nothing but a burden to him. When his hatred reached upto a maximum boiling point, he didn’t even hesitate to kill Karin, Kakashi or Sakura. But the moment Naruto appears he calmed down. The proof? He was shocked to see Naruto at first. Then Naruto calls, ‘Sasuke!!!’, to which Sasuke responds with, ‘What?’. Despite becoming a maniac, he could find it in his heart to listen to Naruto.

It took an Edo Tenseified Itachi to bring him some rationality to question his beliefs about destroying Konoha. When Jugo and Suigetsu appear again, he casually asked them, ‘What do you want with me at this point?’, I mean, Come On, Man. LOL. Even during the war arc, when things were about to blast off he only cared about Jugo (who helped him many times, so understandable) and Naruto (Geez!!! LOL).

Even after their final battle, the anime went so far as to create a scene where they were alone in a bright Konoha. But Sasuke looked very peaceful and listening to Naruto intently. When Naruto freaks out about Infinite Tsukuyomi, he casually laughs off and says ‘you still care about the world’. Meaning, he is happy there spending time alone with the person he loves. Doesn’t give a rat’s ass about missing anyone else. (How romantic!!!). Honestly, Sasuke wouldn’t mind if they were to stay that way forever. He would gladly listen to Naruto all day. But when Naruto disappears he freaks out and starting to make up his mind about joining his brother.

It’s very clear that the people he adores are Itachi and Naruto. Towards Itachi, it’s super understandable, because he is his own brother. But Naruto??? Why should the creator go so far as to make Sasuke adores Naruto even after breaking up with him?

And why make Sasuke possessive about Naruto’s life? When Obito was about to kill Naruto with that Black Orbs, Sasuke blocked him and said ‘You are not the One to sever the past, I am’. I understand the logic behind Sasuke’s possessiveness on Itachi’s life because he destroyed his family, childhood and even Itachi wants Sasuke to be the one to kill him. But why possessive on Naruto? He is not related to him by blood. Naruto never did anything wrong to Sasuke to warrant any hate either. You will become possessive on something only when you truly hate it or wholeheartedly love it. There is no middle ground. My point is why put Naruto here at all in the first place?? Believe me, If Sasuke never paid attention to Naruto in the War arc, I would be the first person to jump out of this ship.

Just to give you a basic example, Imagine you are living in a place far away from your family, friends and that loveable person. When Corona hits everywhere and forced Lockdown to travel outside the city, and the situation is getting worse day by day. Whom would you desperately reach out first? You would reach the person whom you are connected well in your family and that loved one. You will prioritize your friends only later. This is the Universal truth. Sasuke was seen showing that same instinct in the War arc towards Naruto whom he was not related by blood. And you all just want me to believe Sasuke sees him as just a friend?? Give me a break!!!

If all those traits I’ve mentioned above have been avoided to a greater extent, I would be happy to believe that they are friends. If not all, at the very least delegate some of the tropes to other people or share some of the tropes with other people along with Naruto. But dumping it all on Naruto alone makes me only curious and incredibly romantic too.

It’s no wonder, Naruto would go so far as to reach out Sasuke even at the expense of his life.

Oh, Did I forget about the cutest and most exclusive trope to SNS?

U-SU-RA-TON-KA-CHI, the most personal word which carries its own meaning and is only for Naruto. So funny that Sasuke has to spend a certain amount of energy to call Naruto using a 6 syllabic word rather than NA-RU-TO, a 3 syllabic word which is much easier.

Disclaimer: This post constituted everything from from Chapter 1 to 699 or Episode 1 to 135 (part 1) + Episode 1 to 479 (Shippuden) excluding fillers. Though Sasuke shinden novel was made into anime, I don’t want to consider that here. As much as I loved the prologue in that novel, I still don’t want to cite that here, as I consider everything after 699 is $$$$ making bullshit.

FUN FACT:

If you put yourself in any character in the Naruto Universe except for Naruto, and ask them, ‘What do you think about Sasuke?’. You know the answer from Sakura, she will say ‘Sasuke-Kun looks very cool and acts aloof, that’s why I love him’. Kakashi will say ‘My favorite student’. And all the other people will say somewhat similar, ‘He is an excellent Shinobi who belongs to the proud Uchiha clan and Naruto’s rival’

But Naruto will be the only person to say this.

“Lot of fun to be around” ....... LOLLLLL.

Me: No, Naruto!!! Clearly not. No one in your universe can have fun with him except you. Go and Ask Sai, Team Taka or your own Team 7. They adore him for being Cool and Talented. But Fun is not the word that equates with Sasuke unless there is no You, Naruto.

Thanks for reading :-D

#sasunaru #narusasu #sasunarusasu #sns #naruto #sasuke #naruto uzumaki #sasuke uchiha #anti sakura #itachi #anti sasusaku #anti naruhina #naruto analysis #naruto and sasuke arent brothers as they never shared a womb #if you see your friend with all these traits then you are no longer just friend

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