#i feel like a kid again when everyone got money to do stuff and eat outside and i didn’t

[emmafallsinlove]

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[batsythoughts]

hiii, can we have a second part for the yandere! bruce with baby trapping 🥹 maybe some pregnancy kink

Of course you all can! I'm always willing to do continuations of any works I do or requests if you all ask nicely and I feel comfortable with it! And sorry this took so long to write. A lot of family stuff came up and I needed to take a step back for a while.

Part 2 of Yandere! Bruce Wayne and baby trapping!

As stated in the request, there is smut under the cut. Minors please do not interact with the post.

It had barely been a week since Bruce and you found out you were pregnant

Alfred had been discreetly informed so he could go buy your prenatal vitamins without any of the kids finding out

You all had agreed to do a reveal to them fairly quickly so they didn't find out themselves by accident

After some consideration, the both of you decided on a cake with a simple message

Bruce even got you to agree to let the message say 'It wasn't Jason'

"It's a bet the kids have on who would have a baby next. It's a family joke we have that's been going on."

You simply smiled at the explanation while saying it was okay as long as it was in a certain color

The next night a dinner, before anyone could get up from the table, Bruce said that Alfred made a special dessert for everyone

They all looked at one another in confusion as they tried to think of what the occasion was for a 'special dessert' to be made

When Alfred came in and set the cake in the center of the table, the kids stared at the written frosting with blank expressions

Jason was the first to react while throwing his hands up with a cheer

Dick started out with a huge grin before his eyes widen as he stared at Jason with disbelief all over his face

Tim and Damian shared a look for a moment before giving their congratulations

Cass smiled while looking between you and Bruce while asking multiple questions regarding the baby

Bruce smiled at the sight of all the people he loved celebrating the surprise of a new addition to the family

He gently took your hand in his while watching you happily eating the slice of cake Alfred cut for you

The first trimester was definitely interesting for the whole family with the random nausea, food cravings, and mood swings

Everyone worked together to help you deal with it as best as they were able to

Got a craving for something in the middle of the night that's not in the manor? Alfred told everyone and now Red Hood is in the store grabbing two of everything.

Your back hurting a little after getting off work? Tim has the heating pad on the couch for you as Cass gets a scented bath bomb that you might like so you can relax after dinner.

Randomly started crying? Dick and Alfred both stand nearby to hear you let out cries of whatever caused it

Damian would even offer to make you drinks that he had been taught were beneficial to both you and the fetus

Bruce was pleased that they were being so accepting of the situation instead of thinking you had been the one to cause the situation

The best thing though was a weekly ritual that only Bruce got to be apart of

An hour before he would go on patrol every Friday, you both would sit on the bed as his hands lightly caressed your stomach to carefully feel your body change over time

Even in the beginning when there wasn't anything to feel, Bruce enjoyed reliving the fact that he had gotten you pregnant successfully to keep you around

But he was still felt like you could do a bit more to be committed to the family

He wanted you to quit your job so you could be focused on him, the kids, and the baby with all your energy

Besides, he had more than enough money that you wouldn't have to worry about providing for yourself ever again

At first Bruce suggested going part time so you weren't straining your body too much while the baby was developing

You were hesitant at first, but relented and said you would ask your boss if it would be possible

It wasn't entirely what he wanted, it was just the start until you gave birth

You were beginning to tell the difference in your body after the two month mark with a slight firmness in your stomach

Bruce felt ecstatic as the days got closer to your due date

He did become concerned about the fact that you were showing a bit more than what was normal with all that he read

He even brought it up with the doctor at one of your appointments to ask if everything was alright

As they got the machine ready for the ultrasound, the doctor and nurse assured Bruce that everything should be alright with your hormone levels

The doctor began asking questions on how you were feeling and any issues you were experiencing

As they moved the wand over your stomach, the nurse stopped to look at the screen with a concerned look before her expression shifted to surprise

You became worried while asking what was wrong as the doctor focused on the screen before she got a similar look

"There's, um... there's two."

The screen was turned to face you both better as she pointed out the very close, but individual little blobs

You and Bruce stare in shock before you squeeze his hand with a soft coo

The doctor made sure to give you plenty of copies of the pictures before you left and made the next appointment

Bruce felt proud that you were giving him not one, but two children that would bind you to him for the rest of your lives

You told everyone that evening the news and they were thrilled by the prospect as well

Bruce had even signed up for a 'Baby and Me' class that meet up weekly

Of course that meant that everyone went and sat around you to retain any and all information that was being said to the class

A few of the other participants were judgemental and would whisper about how it should only be the expecting mother and father in the class

All the kids were quick to speak up and shut that down real quick with the woman who started it

"Wow Debra, that's really great advice. I'm sure your husband is proud of how outspoken you are."

"Speaking of husbands, where's your husband Debra?"

"Oh, he's working late like he always does? He must be worried about providing for you and the baby."

"I'm sure it's a very happy and loving marriage you have with him."

"But how long will it last, Debra?"

You quickly told the kids to behave while Bruce held back his smirk as the class finally began

Everyone paid attention to everything that was told, even asking questions about how to assist you through the whole process

Bruce was very proud of all his kids for being so willing to learn along with you during this stage in your life

As the weeks passed, the twins were growing healthy and making themselves known to the world

Their kicks profound enough that Bruce could sit on the other side of the couch and see the bumps they would make

He loved it most went you put headphones on your stomach while playing a small list of songs you made for the twins

"They can feel the vibrations! It is proven to be beneficial for development."

He only smiled while kissing the side of your head

Bruce had even made sure to have the baby room ready for the birth long before they were due

It did take a bit more time to keep the room neutral with the fact it was agreed to be a surprise of what you were having

But he made it work terrifically for whatever combination of twins you were carrying

With the help of Dick and Jason, of course. They refused to let Bruce try to put together the cribs and changing table that would hold their little siblings

It was always so adorable how you would go in to see the progress and coo at how everything was coming along

You of course gave an opinion on where you wanted things to go and the boys would move them without question or complaint

There was already two dressers full of baby clothes that all of them had picked out when going out shopping for any reason

Bruce adored it most that you had gotten a few maternity dresses that were elegant enough to wear to any galas he would attend

The looks that you would get from most of the people there didn't bother him

Despite the different reasons for the stares, he felt proud of the fact that everyone knew that you would always be his no matter who would try to change it

It became even better when he got a message from Alfred one day saying you had returned to the manor not long after you had went to work one day

He was worried when he finally returned that night to find you sulking in your shared room eating a bowl of fruit while wrapped in multiple blankets

Bruce hated the sight of you upset, but he hated that you seemed to be purposely hiding away the bump he was loving more every day

He sat down beside you as he waited for you to tell him what had happened at your job that morning

It took a few minutes before you finally mumbled out that you had impulsively quit your job

While he felt overjoyed, Bruce played the part of being concerned while asking what had occurred to cause it

You took another bite of your fruit while leaning in to rest your head on his shoulder

"One of the guys put his hand on the upper part of my stomach despite me telling them all not to do that. Then he asked me if... if my milk had come in."

Bruce clenched his jaw before apologizing for what happened, but gentle assured you that everything would be okay with him still providing for all of you

It took a few minutes of Bruce reassuring you that your actions were valid to preserve your self respect from the unsavory coworker you had

You gave a weak nod after a couple minutes before leaning further against for comfort

He held you to his chest while softly kissing your head and whispering affirmations to lift your spirits

That evening everyone noticed that you were feeling upset, but didn't push for an explanation so you could tell them if you felt comfortable

You gave a tired smile to the whole table while saying it was just a bad day at work and they shouldn't worry themselves

They all let you have a quiet night without arguments over anything until they went down to the cave to get ready for patrol

Bruce watched you prepare for bed with worry as you absent-mindedly went through your routine without a word

Before you could get into the bed, Bruce gently lead you over to the full length mirror he got for you that stood in one corner

He stood behind you as he rested his hands at the swell of your stomach while swaying back and forth

He placed kisses along your neck as his fingers danced over the bump while whispering against your skin

"You're such a good momma." "Doing your best for them already." "Providing me with the greatest gift."

Bruce continued with his praise as he watched the reflection until you finally cracked a smile

He carefully turned you around before connecting his lips to yours before guiding you over to the bed

He made sure you were completely settled in for the night before giving you a kiss and promising to return safely

The night had went by with only a few attempted muggings and a failed robbery of a gas station before the whole family returned

Bruce took a shower in the locker room and changed like every night so you wouldn't wake up from the noise

Bruce had tried to remain as quiet to not disturb you as he entered the room, but he saw that you were turning around under the comforter with soft whines

He thought you were just having a weird dream until you pushed up from the bed with a groan before meeting his gaze

He almost asked what was wrong as he walked towards the bed, but the words didn't need to be said with the way you bite your lip to keep back a pout

Now, you and Bruce had sex a few times since the pregnancy had started, but after you began showing he didn't want to potentially cause you any discomfort

He wouldn't deny the fact that he thought you were beautiful during the day doing any little thing

However, staring at you in the his bed with the light of the moon streaming in through the window and accentuating your features while one of the straps of your nightgown sliding of as you give him that pleading look

Bruce couldn't get in the bed quick enough after taking a moment to admire how breathtaking you were in that moment

He gently pushed you back to lay down on the mattress before lifting up the lower part of your sleepwear

He couldn't bother to remove your underwear as he pulled it to the side and immediately latched onto your clit

The startled moan you let out was a melody Bruce never wanted to forget as he passionately worked his tongue over the small nub

Wasting no time, he moved one hand to rest on your hip while the other went to prepare you

You laced your fingers in his hair the moment he pushed a finger into you for the first time in months

He slowly moved his hand as he listened to the way your breath hitched with each whine you gave before pushing a second finger in

He had only been at it for a minute before you gave a small cry and came undone by his fingers and tongue

Bruce smiled to himself as he worked you through the spasms before trailing kisses up your stomach, leaving a few attentive one underneath your breasts, until finally reaching your mouth

He didn't even give you time to protest the kiss as his abdomen pressed against you while lining up at your entrance

He made sure to go slow as he felt you shake slightly under him with your nails softly digging into his back

He kept his thrusts shallow as he pulled away to watched your expression as you let out small whines of pleasure

He moved one hand to rest on the side of your stomach as the other held your chin to keep you looking at him

He groaned at the way you tightened around him as he felt a small kick come from your lower stomach

He sweetly kissed you again before pulling away enough to speak with a smirk spread across his face

"Oh, aren't you just a beautiful momma?" "Still able to take me so well after so long." "I should just keep you like this for the rest of our lives."

Bruce gave a small laugh at the last thought as he gave one final thrust before you tightened around his cock

He almost let a small taunt out about you enjoying the idea of him already keeping you there, but just smiled as he trailed a finger over your cheek

It didn't take much longer for Bruce to find his own release with a deep groan

He waited a moment before pulling out and going to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth

He affectionately shook his head when he saw you had already fallen back to sleep with a calm grin on your face

He gently wiped the mess between you thighs away before tracing his fingers over you stomach for a a few moments

He quickly got rid of the cloth before putting on a fresh pair of boxers and slipping under the covers

Bruce moved his arms around you while laying down to get a few hours sleep himself

The next couple weeks, Bruce made sure to shower you with as much affection as he thought you deserved

You and the others simply assumed it was because you were steadily getting closer to your due date

But he did it to help build the emotional vulnerability you would ultimately go through after giving birth

He knew you would go through a strong surge of hormones that would cause you to rely on him even more

It all going to be for the best in the end because Bruce just needs you to realize how much he truly loves you and will always be there for you

What better way is there to convince someone to agree to marry you?

Bruce already had a ring picked out and the speech he would give on what each of the kids would do to be included in the wedding

He would still have you pick out all the important things that you wanted like the flowers, dress, location and every other aspect you wanted

But he had to be patient until after the twins had been born for at least a few months before asking you

But to get you to be apart of the family more than you already were? Oh, Bruce was nothing but determined.

[somewhereincairparavel]

How would Jason Grace spoil you? boyfriend hcs list

author's note: ik i have an angsty jason grace prompt in my asks and i swear im working on it! But this idea just popped up on my mind and I've been thinking about it all night yesterday omgg. Let me know if you guys want a Leo/Percy/Frank version of this, I mostly write for Jason since he's my bbg but I might actually do the others this time since the idea is so cute!

I'll start off by saying, Jason is a selfcare supporter bf.

Okay so yk how the Romans in CJ have such high standards? They literally exhibit royal/regal energy, and are super fans of luxury stuff.

Jason despite being influenced by greeks would always be a roman. Whether he likes it or not, there will always be roman blood in him. So he makes these cute/simple ideas for dates/gifts but his execution is just pure sophistication. He's SO simple yet so fancy, and Ik they're contradictions but I promise I'll explain.

like this boy would make sure to run you a nice warm roman bath after you come back from a dangerous/tiresome quest to ease your muscles. Cute and simple right? Wrong. This man would buy all sorts of expensive bath perfumes, bath bombs, fragranted petals, etc to make it extra special for you.

See so this is what I mean when I say his ideas are cute, but executed in a very fancy way.

He LOVES spoiling you with self care products, like sheet masks, lotion, cleansers, hair masks, etc. like he simply does NOT care about the money, as long as his girl is taking care of herself?? That's all that matters tbh

This is mostly because Jason, as a kid soldier, never had any time for himself, the closest thing he's ever done to "selfcare" is probably take long baths + trim his hair lol

jason was blessed with his mother's ethereal actress beauty okay. So selfcare or no self care would have zero effect on him physically bc bro would still look majestic.

ANYWAYS he feels like his inner child just kinda heals when he sees you prioritising yourself and he admires it sm :((

would be ecstatic if you rope him into self care. He would be sceptical at first but then as you're applying a face mask on him he'd be like "wait this is actually so relaxing what" and you love the way his face muscles soften at that. Like he really deserves a break and some relaxation, you'd often trick him into using your skincare products intentionally bc he deserves self care.

once he felt so soothed with the lemon facemask he was wearing that he fell asleep on your shoulder and was all zzz 🥺

and would make sure to restock all your products if they run out.

he feels that the self-care has more of a mental and emotional effect on him rather than physical

Which is what matters to him

honestly?? He supports you if you want to wear makeup. Like he'd think you look gorgeous either way but if you like wearing lipgloss? So be it. You get any lipgloss you want he's paying. He just LOVES that you love yourself too :( and would do anything to make you feel comfortable.

also

Food.

This man loves investing on food. Again, it's bc he never even had the time to properly eat as a legionnaire :(

So he'd love to take you out to places and just munch on tasty food and talk. New Rome has bomb food okay. Bro just never got to eat them.

Lmao he's like everyone's grandma when it comes to food. "Have you eaten? You HAVE to eat!! I'll get you food! Go back to your room!"

would spoonfeed you soup if you're sick bc nuh uh you ain't going without eating hun 😤

hes the worried anxious mother hen bf okay fight me.

Food + selfcare = Jason Grace's love language

[johnnycakesswitch]

Do you have any Darry hcs? Like everyone always makes him out to be this strict and awful grown man who’s a father. But in reality he’s still just their big brother and he’s ONLY. 20. He’s college sophomore age.

Any hcs for Darry just being a young guy and a brother?

Yeah!!

• Darry truly loves his brothers so much, they’re literally his pride and joy. I say that as an oldest sibling who has a brother and sister 4 years younger than me and another brother 12 years younger than me. It’s just an oldest sibling thing to feel real parental so even before their parents died Darry always felt kind of responsible for the others. But!! He’s still big brother Darry, not their dad

• he’s literally so goofy and will do anything to make them laugh, he’s pretty good at it too. He just makes faces all the time like behind someone’s back to make the other person laugh and Soda and Pony always crack up

• sometimes him and Soda will stay up late and Darry will tell Soda all the stuff he got into in high school that their parents never found out about and by the end they’re just crying laughing

• speaking of that, Darry has the best laugh ever it’s so contagious. Like if someone can get a good, genuine belly laugh out of Darry the others can’t help but smile too it’s just so great

• him and the others are always teasing each other like in the movie as soon as he hugs Pony in the hospital and knows he’s okay the very next thing that comes out of his mouth is “you sure look funny” LIKE 😭 they tease each other so bad but they all love it

• literally is THEEE tickle monster 😐 Pony and Soda are scarred because Darry is relentless. Pony gets it the most because he never gets out of bed when he’s told the first time and next thing he knows he’s just howling as Darry tickles him within an inch of his life poor kid

• the Curtis bros will in fact have coordinating Halloween costumes, they have every year literally since Pony was born

• Darry will wrestle with Pony and Soda just for fun, they always get a kick out of it and Darry thinks it’s hilarious because they can never pin him down unless he lets them

• if there’s any body of water. You can bet money on the fact. That Soda and Pony will be begging and pleading to be thrown in by Darry over and over again. They’ll be fighting for their lives, gasping for air, tired and out of breath, and no matter what they always pop up and are like “again 🤠” poor Darry eventually has to call it quits bc his arms are BURNING from tossing them around all day. It doesn’t help that once they start, the others want to be thrown in too 😭

Darry is still such a kid y’all. Bro eats cake for breakfast bc he loves chocolate so much. He should be in the club

[actual-arrrchie]

What are some of ypurMichael/Jeremike headcanons? Could you share them with us?

Oooooh there's SO MANYYY These two are all I've been thinking about for over a year now and I don't plan to stop anytime soon lmao Putting a read more in there so you don't spend 10 years scrolling past this post

MICHAEL W. AFTON (voice claim: Kenai from Brother Bear)

His full name is Michael William Afton, he never mentions his second name to anyone for obvious reasons though

He was born in Utah

Autistic

Bisexual

Big sharp canines

He has vitiligo

He's a momma's boy

Pathetic wet cat boyloser

Clara and William divorced when the kids were very young. William got to keep them because he had better income and could provide "a better home" for them. He made it impossible for Clara to meet the kids again and told them that mom doesn't love them anymore. Michael didn't want to believe it but as the time passed, he eventually did

Clara was writing letters to the kids but William would burn them all before they could see them

Michael took the worst traits after William, unfortunately. He deals with sudden mood swings and serious anger issues

He was never taught a healthy way to cope with his emotions.

Michael sucks at explaining what he feels so he would often get frustrated and angry when people don't get why he's feeling a certain way

He's been dealing with night terrors every since his parents divorced

William always treated Evan and Elizabeth better than him so he feels jealous of them. Evan was too little to truly understand what's been happening around him but he did have a feeling that it's unfair, Elizabeth on the other hand was a daddy's girl and despite feeling like Williams wasn't giving her enough attention, she still always agreed with him and would stay on his side

Michael breaks stuff a lot. His room is always a mess because of this. He tore apart countless sketchbooks and notebooks, broke mirrors and even threw furniture around. After this kind of anger outbreaks, he always breaks down in tears and cries himself to sleep

Mike rarely looks in the mirror because of his many times people told him he looks just like his father. He never looks at family photos either

Michael and William have more in common than their appearance. Mike's small gestures and body language are exactly the same too. He hates it because people point it out all. the. time. There's nothing ha can do about it though

Even tho Michael hates his father, deep inside he still desperately craves his love and attention so he clings to any, even the slightest bits of kindness he gets from him. That makes it really easy for William to manipulate him and make him do whatever he wants him to do

Michael gets in fist fights a lot

He's not a stranger to violence in general but he's also really anxious and insecure. He always feels like he has to prove to everyone that he's nothing like William but most of the times it only shows how similar they are

Michael only cries when he's sure nobody can see it. William used to yell at him for crying when he was a child so he learned that he can never show any weakness

After the bite of 83, Michael experienced really bad panic attacks when he was exposed to animatronics or even his Foxy mask.

William would still force him to help in the pizzeria and make him work with the robots on purpose

Michael was forced to help at the diner/pizzerias since he was only 8 years old. Even when he was older, he never got officially hired there. William would just pull the "I pay for everything, you live off of my money so you owe me" card and make him work

He was anemic when he was about 13-14 years old, mostly because of how quickly he grew in that time and bad eating habits

Michael frowns a lot, not only when he's angry or irritated though. He tends to frown as a default expression which leads to a lot of misunderstandings

He's REALLY bad at taking care of plants

He loves cats and animals in general

JEREMY "REMY" FITZGERALD (voice claim: Seán McLoughlin aka Jacksepticeye)

Irish

Nonbinary [he/they]

Gay

Has two older brothers

Himbo

Big dumb silly idiot

Jeremy was born in Galway, Ireland and moved to California with his brothers and parents when he was 3 years old

They moved to Hurricane, Utah 16 years later and lived alone since

BIGGEST QUEEN FAN

Absolutely adores plants and has so many of them in their small apartment

Did construction work before getting a job at Freddy's

Has lots of religious trauma, all of it actually

Many piercings, most of them done by himself (idiot)

Has a big ivy tattoo

Was kicked out by his parents for being gay and struggled a lot to survive before starting a construction job. He even had to steal food a couple of times

Has ADHD

Has type 2 diabetes

Jeremy always dreamed about having a beautiful home with a big garden with lots of flowers and other plants in it but the best he got was a small old apartment filled with plants in pots.

They're very allergic to cats but that doesn't stop him from shoving his face into every kitty's belly

Jeremy was neglected as a child, his parents never planning a third child and not being too keen on having to raise another one. They put most of the responsibilities on their older sons which made them dislike their youngest sibling from the very beginning

Mary Anne and Patrick (the parents) never really tried to hide their indifference towards Jeremy, at east when they weren't in public. Because, naturally, they would hate for people to talk badly about them

Jeremy spent most of his childhood alone in their room, wandering the streets or spending time with Citlali, their best friend, and her parents. Remy adored them all and preferred hanging out with them over being with their own family

After moving to Utah he became very open about their identity. Moving away from his parents was difficult but also provided a whole new opportunity to finally be himself and make their own decisions

there is A WHOLE LOT more but this is all I've got in my head right now saiduhsada SHAMELESS PLUG TIME BUT YOU WILL LEARN A LOT MORE ABOUT MY JEREMIKE IN THE FIC I'M WRITING, IT'S CALLED "Insufficient" ON AO3

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: The Grey Havens

Oh wow, another chapter review, haven’t seen one of those in ten thousand years

I’m not ready I’m not ready I’m not ready aaaaahhh

this has been such an incredible year and a half; i don’t want this book to end

but the sooner i finish, the sooner i can start over again!! so let’s go

Fatty Bolger!! 😭 We missed you, friend!

Man how am I gonna draw him skinny and still recognizable?? Guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it

LOBELIA!

Man I remember being so annoyed that she received a welcome like this when I was a kid, but now that I’m older, the display of mercy is overwhelmingly touching

She’s leaning on Frodo’s arm!! FRODO’S! He brought her out himself! And they all cheer for her courage and tenacity!

AND SHE LEFT HER MONEY FOR CHARITY

Y’know what? You’re all right after all, Lobelia. You’re all right.

I love the implication that hobbits will not accept a mayor who is not RotundTM 🤣

Ahhhhh okay so THAT’S where I got my childhood definition of “horny”

I’m sure in this case it means “like horn (the material), hard and rough”, which is an excellent descriptor, and it’s a shame I will never be able to use it in my own writing

THEY FOUND THE HIDDEN FOOD AND HAD IT FOR YULE! HECK YES!

Aww, I love you, Gaffer

“It was a purely Bywater joke to refer to it as Sharkey’s End” PFFFFFFT 🤣🤣

The four hobbits being known as the Travellers is so sweet

Frodo: “Ah yes, your box of dirt, the box of dirt from Galadriel, the box of dirt given specifically to you by Galadriel, Galadriel’s dirt”

I love that Frodo knows every single grain of this stuff is magical

I love even more that Sam is antsy and can hardly keep himself from running around and checking if the dirt is doing anything LOL

MALLORN TREE IN THE PARTY FIELD

I’M GONNA FRICKIN’ CRYYYYY

Year 1420 haha blaze it

“All the children born or begotten in that year, and there were many…” Tolkien knows how baby booms work

“And no one was ill, and everyone was pleased, except those who had to mow the grass” BAHAHAHA 🤣

Ohhhhh oh Frodo, oh bby

Sam was away 😭 And Farmer Cotton was the one who found Frodo in his bed in pain 😭😭 o w

Okay but Frodo just automatically assuming like “of COURSE we’re gonna be roomies” is just *chef’s kiss*

IMAGINE. FRODO WAS PERFECTLY PREPARED TO LIVE WITH JUST SAM WITH HIM IN BAG END. JUST THE TWO OF THEM. IMAGINE

I love these boys so heckin’ much

Frodo: So we’re roomies, yeah? Sam: Er, I…well I’d love to, but…but Rosie. Frodo: MORE ROOMIES 8-D

Tolkien: “And they loved Frodo dearly, and no one in the Shire was better cared for” Me: Thanks, Tolkien 🥹😭💚

Merry and Pippin walking around like the local legends they are

Sam doesn’t even know how well respected he is in the Shire 🥺

Noooo Weathertop

ELANOOOOOOR

“Taking after Rose more than me, luckily” And this solidifies my headcanon that Rosie is drop-dead gorgeous

Frodo hiding his illness from Sam hurts, man. You can feel him trying to stay cheerful. Ow, ow, ow.

“‘You can’t go far or for a long time now, of course,’ he said a little wistfully.” I AM GOING TO EAT THE CARPET

ALL HE WANTS IS TO BE WITH HIS SAM

BUT HE WANTS SAM TO BE HAPPY AND ENJOY HIS FAMILY EVEN MORE

HE LOVES SAM ENOUGH TO LET HIM GO

I’M GONNA BREAK SOMETHING

“The Downfall of: The Lord of the Rings” Rollllll credits! *ding*

Oh. Ohhhh. The Elvish song meeting Frodo and Sam as they sit on their ponies in the forest in late evening. I’m gonna cry.

Bilbo: Well, I’m older than the Old Took now! Bucket list completed. Time to go!

“But I thought you were going to enjoy the Shire, too, for years and years, after all you have done.” Same, Sam…same. 😭😭 (that’s what the Magnolia AU is for)

How. How does Frodo predict the names of Sam’s kids. “And perhaps more I cannot see”—how can he see in the first place?? How does he know? He’s getting Elvish, Frodo is. Very, very elvish.

Just. Frodo’s whole speech. I don’t have anything to say, I’m just soaking it in, and I feel so joyful and so sad all at once. It’s so tender and intimate and yet so distant. Tolkien, you’re so cruel, I love you.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

I JUST TURNED THE PAGE

AND THE RIGHT SIDE PAGE IS HALF-BLANK

I’M NOT READY I’M NOT READY I’M NOT READY

Okay okay be calm, it’s okay, just keep going

MERRY AND PIPPINNNNNNN

THEY CAMEEEEEE

And they’re ending the story the same way they joined it because Frodo is trying to leave and they said “NOT WITHOUT US” I’M GONNA GNAW HOLES IN THE COUCH AND BAWL LIKE A BABY

KISSES!! FOR EVERYONE!!!

WHITE SHORES AND A FAR GREEN COUNTRY UNDER A SWIFT SUNRISE

S H U T U P DON’T TOUCH ME

The three of them riding back home in silence but taking comfort in each other

I joke about these things making me cry but I actually, literally, have mist in my eyes right now holy cow

It’s so melancholy and comforting and it hurts and yet it makes you feel so happy and whole

The story is coming to an end, and there’s so much you want to say, but you can’t find words for any of it, and yet the silence says everything and more

(And Merry and Pippin don’t start singing until they take their leave of Sam, almost as if they were being considerate of his feelings first, but as they go and you hear their voices in the distance you get the sense that everything is going to be okay)

“Well, I’m back.”

…

The end.

.

[nicistrying]

Sunday 21st April

What a weekend 🥴

Yesterday was Matt's birthday so I made him breakfast in bed and we went for a lovely walk with Maggie, saw all her friends, had a great time 🥰

I went out and did a big grocery shop for my sister bc she said she had been really struggling with money lately as she's between jobs and will miss April pay cutoff at her new job so won't get paid until the end of May. She's also getting evicted from her house bc she's unable to get a mortgage to buy it, so the landlord is just giving it to her daughter instead which is shitty. So she's having a really tough time so I went and bought her just a load of food she can make meals with and stuff bc she said she had been sending the kids up to their dad's house for dinner bc she didn't have enough food in. Which fucking sucks. So got all that, finished off Matt's birthday cake - coffee & walnut, his fave. And then started on my nephew's cake! Which annoyingly I forgot to take a pic of when it was finished 😭

Matt's birthday card and mug from Maggie arrived

It has a photo from the day we got her, one of the funniest moments of her life when she got stuck between the sofa cushions, and one of them together on the side of a mountain and it says Best Dog Dad. He usually hates stuff like that but he loves it 🤭

Cleaned up the kitchen about 3 times after all the baking, realised it was 5pm and I had 30 mins to get ready, and we went out with Matt's family for dinner. We went to a Vietnamese place and it was so good. His parents were difficult as always but they left after food and we stayed out for a few drinks with his brothers and we had a fun night. He was really happy to have everyone together ❤️

Came home a little tipsy I think around midnight, got up early again this morning to walk Maggie so Matt could have a lie in. Thank god though, he woke up not long after me and offered to do the walk so I did all the housework that didn't get done all week. The house is finally sort of back to normal so I felt much better. Finished off my nephew's cake, and went over to my sister's to see him. We just had a few of his friends round and all the adults sat having a couple of drinks and eating snacks. It was lovely! I was so nervous to give my sister all the food but she took it really well, I tried to frame it as a working from home hamper bc her new job is full time WFH and I said in my experience you realise how fucking hungry you are when you're not out at work distracted by other stuff, but she didn't see all the meat, tins, fruit and veg in the bottoms of the bags so I really hope she isn't offended when she does. I know she's way too proud to ask anyone to help but it's not fair that she has to sacrifice having dinner with her kids. So I wrote her a little card and explained that I know she'd do the same for me. Haven't heard from her yet but she was super happy when I brought the stuff into her garage. Drove home feeling pretty icky (again! Wtf is going on with my body), I was shivering I was so cold and had the heaters blasting in my face the whole drive home and had an awful headache despite chugging water all afternoon. Curled up in my pjs when I got home, had a cup of tea and felt much better. Currently in a hot bath, ready for an early night. Think I'm just run down tbh, it's been a crazy busy few weeks.

Oh also! I got The Photo for the wedding thank you cards! Finally the sun was out and she was smiling and the crown stayed on her head for more than half a second 🙌

So I can order those this week!!

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend 🥰🥰

[bethanysnow]

Get to know me~

Tagged by @itshannjisung

❣ Who is your favorite Kpop group?❣

These dorks! Stray Kids. I also love BTS and Block B. I haven't gotten super into girl groups yet, but I am inching my way with Itzy, Twice, and Mamamoo! If people have song recommendations please let me know!

❣ Which member sparked your interest first?

This artsy motherfucker. I saw a couple tiktok edits of this man and I needed to know why an anime character had come to life. Then I found out about SKZ, read some fanfiction, and by the time I looked up Chan had stolen me and I now am holding a wolfchan. Like you have to understand, I study art and dance and all of this stuff, I am going to school to work in museums, like this is my shtick! HE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON I'VE EVER SEEN!! AND I'VE MET TOM HIDDLESTON

❣ Who was your first bias?

For stray kids its Chan, I am the mom friend, he is the dad friend and together we make a happy family.

NOW FIRST EVER BIAS?!

THIS DORK! EVERYONE SAY HI TO P.O (Pyo Ji-hoon) I love him with all of my heart, I will always be in debt to him as my first-ever Bias. I know he is an actor now BUT THIS MANS VOICE?!?! GAHHHHH He could give felix a run for his money like thats the vibe he is. Where normally hes this, like a college professor, suit-wearing dorky big grinned man and his voice is that of a rocker who smokes a pack a day

❣ Who is your current bias?

LOOK AT SASSY PANTS THINKING HES SO COOL! I-its chan guys. Im basic bitch I know. BUT LISTEN Ey ey ey, we all need a 5'7 man to tell us he thinks we're pretty. Even though he embodies being 6'1.

❣ What makes them your bias?

It is hard for me to really describe why. Not just because I picked him, or I like him the most, but being a fan of Stray Kids, meeting the people I have, all of the members but especially Chan make me want to be better. I want to be able to go up to them and say "Because of you and your inspiration, I now have achieved X" I want to participate in life and do things again. I want to go to therapy, I want to work out again and fight my eating disorder. I am creating art, and writing songs???? I've never done that before and they aren't awful! Life is brighter because Stray Kids and Chan are in it. I look at the moon every night and think of something Jin (bts) said, that its the same moon and look at it and think of him. Just these little reminders that while the world seems to feel so big and scary and nothing is going right, you are a speck on a floating rock in space. Just like them.

Also Chan says he doesn't love himself, he doesn't think hes attractive. So it makes me feel validated that maybe I'm not as ugly as I think I look??? Because if hes as prince charming as he is maybe im not as bad looking as I think I do?

❣ Who is your bias wrecker?

Uhhh all of them????? There isn't a wreck-ER its you are wrecked by all of them! It was Hyunjin for a while, now I think it's Minho??? It switches on the daily honestly??? I will take anything and anyone of them.

❣ Which member(s) are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

Felix/Han I love me some soft boys. Also I am 5'9, plus size, and very no-nonsense. The idea of these tiny men getting me to....do things...and uh trying to get me flustered just- yea does good for the soul. I love like reverse expectation fics? Like the big tall scary one is the subby sweet sunshine gf type and the tiny brightly colored talkative one is the super scary dominate teasing one. Its great.

❣ When did you first discover this group?

Last fall, I had just gotten out of a situationship and the band that brought me to it wasn't putting out music and I wanted to find joy again so I tried to find what I was into prior to rock music and that was kpop. Looked up groups that were popular, got back into BTS and then Stray Kids were in my recommended and the rest is history

❣ Have you ever been to one of their concerts?

No! But if they come to Washington you know I will be there. I am going to see Enhypen this month with a friend of mine though! First kpop experience

❣ What are some of your favorite songs by the group?

ITEM

Youtiful

Case 143

Red Lights

Comflex

My Universe

Tortorus and Hare

Social Path

I tag @kaciidubs @7ndipity

[theblackdragon-studios]

Watched Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated for the first time today…

I know it’s really old by now, but with the horrible rise of that new one for “adults” I wanted to watch it since I’d heard good things. So…here are my thoughts as I watched:

-I love each character’s introduction:

* Velma the cynical tour guide who is also so bossy and pushy, especially with her relationship with Shaggy (I’ll get to that)

* Fred the trap-obsessed himbo…and his dad is the mayor here? Interesting.

* Daphne having sisters?! And all are super successful? That’s really cool! They’re pretty but they all have successful careers…nice touch. And it isn’t thrown in your face too long. A brief joke and background detail that might come back. (No spoilers though)

I love her voice too. It’s nice to hear Grey DeLisle’s voice and I think it fits Daphne here very well.

* Shaggy and Scooby once again eating everything as always, but the parents look very similar to Shaggy which is nice. It helps pull away from the fan joke Shaggy’s a stoner

-Patrick Warburton as the chief of police…perfect. I love his voice and though that mustache doesn’t fit it, that’s okay. XD

-Nice Easter eggs nodding back to the old shows too! Not only the most famous monsters from the original cartoon, but there was also the clown-jester looking one from the first live-action Scooby Doo movie. The one they unmasked at the very beginning before the tone shift of everyone separating.

-I knew when I saw the shade of green of the fruitmeir stuff it was connected to the goo…gross.

-Scooby is part cat??? (He extended a talon to open a lock somehow???)

-The joke about why a high school teacher would need more money. XD Too real…but very funny

-Shaggy and Velma are painful to watch…oof… And I know the twist there, so I know why. But it’s so obvious Shaggy isn’t that into Velma and that she’s trying too hard to be a couple. I don’t know why yet, but no spoilers.

Overall it’s a fun show so far. I got a few chuckles and though for this first episode of the reveal of the teacher as the culprit was…weird…since the group never suspected him to begin with so maybe the scene where he stages being a victim himself was for us and not the one-brain cell group (Velma usually has the brain cell), but it was fun. I liked it. lol

Bonus thought under cut…

I have a theory about why the show, Velma was made now too…

Mindy Kailyn hated this reboot of the show so much she thought “I can do better, and make it adult” and so we got the adult trash that is her show. It’s just the complete opposite of everything that Mystery Inc is:

-Fred is the most hated on (by characters) person and an unlikeable idiot of a kid whose father is embarrassed by him. Said father is also rich and important. Mystery Inc has Fred as a lovable himbo oblivious to Daphne’s feelings but with a father that is worried about him but not cruel.

-Daphne is a stuck up bitch that only becomes less of one when the forced writing of her being with Velma starts. Her parents are the ones they try to make likable, but no one in the show is. Where in Mystery Inc the parents want Daphne to drop her friend group and stop obsessing over Fred and make something of herself.

-Norville has an unrequited crush on Velma, and she is relentlessly cruel about it. This is the opposite of Mystery Inc where Shaggy is the one hesitant on how he feels and Velma is pushing to become public about their relationship.

-Velma isn’t just brutally honest, she’s judgmental and hateful toward everyone. Especially Norville, who doesn’t get the hint and keeps trying to get her to like him. Until he sees her kissing Daphne. Then he meets a black girl that people suspect replaced Scooby. Maybe a middle finger to Warner Bros for not letting the show use him.

Because yeah, they said no to Velma using Scooby in their show. It wasn’t because it wasn’t adult enough if they include him.

That’s just my theory, since it seems Velma went out of its way to be the opposite of Mystery Incorporated.

[neathbound-fiends]

Ask from @electricpoolshark! Answering here so I can slap a readmore on it since you didn't specify anyone so I am doing :3c everyone

What does your OC think how they’ll die?

Elliott: he expects that he'll probably die at Zee, as is the fate of a lot of zailors. It isn't an unusual way to go, his real hope is that he'll have earned enough money and taught his kids well enough and gotten them set up with backup plans to be able to thrive once he's gone

Warren: she simply doesn't intend to die, but if she does, she's sure it will be doing something incredibly grand and daring and she will perhaps even get her own folk song written about her

Arthur: he's pretty sure it'll just be old age. He's already 14, which is relatively high up there for a cat, so he's fairly certain he's got like a good year or two left in him and then he'll just go find some woods somewhere to crawl off into

Florence: she's sure that, when the time comes, it will be from a double cross. Someone will sell her out on some job or another, and she'll meet her maker (metaphorically) and that'll be that

Doc: he also doesn't intend to die, but if he does, it will likely be at the hands of whatever Judgement banished them in the first place (since, clearly, it will not be London which destroys them, but he welcomes another Campaign of '68 should they be so inclined to try)

Bolormaa: he also expects he'll probably die at Zee. He's not technically a monster hunter, but he essentially works that job on the ship, and being the woman shooting things with cannons tends to make one a target for Zee-beasts that don't particularly enjoy getting shot

Rhoda: she's fairly certain it will be in some event that nearly wipes out the City, given the course of the last few years. She'd prefer it to be something calm and peaceful when she is quite old, but summers are making her less sure this will be the case

Would your OC survive for a week on their own in the wilderness?

Elliott: it is unlikely. He spent a lot of time outside as a youth, but he is not someone I can imagine hunting, or knowing what is or isn't edible, and he's already pretty thin and sickly so he hasn't got much in reserves to help him out

Warren: despite what she'd tell you, no. She'd feel like she's hot stuff for the first like eight hours and then she would want to go home very badly

Arthur: yes! He's got a leg up on everybody else by virtue of being a literal animal. He survived on his own before, and he could do it again if need be, though with a bit more difficulty because he's an old man who has been spoiled for years now

Florence: probably not. She'd eat some weird berries that she watched an animal eat and reason that it must be safe for her also and then die on like day 2

Doc: it's a toss up. On one hand, he's got the advantage of being a devil and therefore having, presumably, weird anatomy considering they eat and drink things made from poison and that can light things on fire. On the other hand, he might just fucking kill himself to get out of the wilderness because death is preferable to camping

Bolormaa: it's possible. He has decent nature skills and is good with improvised weapons, but would fare a lot better in a marine environment or the plains due to his familiarity with it over, like, the straight up woods

Rhoda: probably not. She's not really a woodsman, and though she has a lot of knowledge regarding mushrooms and their foraging and cultivation, she's not really equipped for many other survivable skills

[dolcefarnientelife]

So you all don't know me truly speaking I don't know myself either I know I want to become rich but how I don't know that

So if you're confused what are you reading don't doubt your reading skill I very confused while writting this

I heard that Journaling helps to sort out your thoughts so I guess let do it here on Tumblr

So I'm going to be anonymous here

Right now as if today life is confusing I have enrolled for a medical school admission test prep classes but I am not sure if I want to do that I did it because it seems like the simplest answer but now when it's due date is coming closer I am panicking

I'm in school too it's 12th standard I'm going to be 18 by the time I pass out but everyone will be 17 only I'm already year behind I have big dreams with loads of money a beautiful and intelligent wife impeccably outstanding four kids who are overachiever in every field so am I but only in dreams I'm no where near it in reality I'm scared I will even disappoint myself can you believe that I'm not good enough even for me in my imaginations all of them have dreams success and love I don't have that I don't think I ever will

I also think I'm turning atheist I am s Muslim by the way but between all thse chaos in life I turned to him but still I didn't find calm I was so disappointed in myself when I failed to be on the path for more than 2-3 days so stopped all together

While writting these I'm constantly thinking is really how I feel or it's my best foot forward strategy I'm checking myself at each step if this is me but is me IDONTKNOW

I'm not talking to anyone at home these past w days after a fight with my father because I screamed he slapped me 3 times while I was trying to eat so flipped my plate which was infront of me so mom told my father to slap me again so I stopped talking to her

You know I continously want to cry hard so whatever is in me come out but it's not happening I am searching crying people on YouTube watching sad movies but still nothing

I used to listen to romance audiobooks and stuff now i have stopped enjoying them suddenly maybe because when female protagonist describe the male hero he always so good successful a winner in everything and muscular over 6ft ans d all brilliant I get jealous if them because I'm not like them maybe never will I 5ft7in I was going to write only infront of it but I changed my mind when summer vacation started in June I decided to better myself I started working out sleeping early watching joe rogan alex huberman and all other but then fell out of it . When I got into it deep I realized I need money to become muscular jacked and all then started watching iman gadzhi then realized I m not capable for it then stopped exercising too

I thought I have mental problem you know I walk while listening to music and start creating different scenarios sometimes when come out of it I feel maybe I was a saying it out loud or maybe mumbling and my family and people think I am talking to myself or turning my neck to talk to someone who isn't there so yeah there's that too

I'm not doing good in school too I used to be fairly good student but now I'm going below average I m scared of being poor and helplessness you know ibdont want to be that I want a big house good earning a bigger dick maybe I didn't told you all I am a male so yeah I'm a currently 17 year old male

I watched a reel in which I came across the phrase dolcè far niènte phrase its Italian I think it means sweetness of doing nothing so I named my account after that

I have more thing but maybe some other time in another post

I just going to the post option when I saw gif option I clicked on it searched dick first and it showed a bunny and then I searched penis then it showed this?here? Yeah nothing

I am ashamed 😅😅

[aaubreyysstuff]

:>

From days on end Aubrey was used to getting home as soon as she finished school with no one checking up on her. Today not even her parents because they were away. She didn’t mind it though she was jealous of the other girls in her class and their big friend groups. She was close with one of them- Dara. But not so close for Dara to even text her if it wasn’t for homework or to hangout when all her other friends were busy. She was strong enough to not be jealous of her best friend, her only friend. But it drove her nuts to think they both had the same struggles. Both skipping meals, knowing the exact calories in the snacks from the vending machine in school, both knowing what it feels like to have blood dripping from their face and body after being hit by their dad. Aubrey felt closed in her world with no escape other than her more enthusiastic friend. One thing nobody knew is how Dara got so many “cat scratches” when she doesn’t even have a cat. Aubrey was scrolling on TikTok when she saw a video that should be removed. A person was taking out the blade of a pencil sharpener and putting it against their skin. She checked their other videos to see if they were okay. What she didn’t expect to see is that the room the person is in looked exactly like Dara’s sister room. She clicked the twitter link in her bio and what she saw was shocking. Her twitter account was full of thin girls, including herself after she got to a weight of 41kgs and full of scars with blood. Then she saw rants about how everyone at school is boring and that she fears how she won’t be accepted because of her struggles.

“There is only one girl who already accepts me, her name is Aubrey and i know she does because i helped her a while ago. I love her with all my heart”

And then the next post was all about Aubrey’s diary.

“I took pictures of her diary when some bullies who call themselves my friends stole it. Inside i found so many tips on how to not eat, which workout is the best and etc. I felt bad because when the other kids read it they just laughed at her eating disorder and the sketches of thin and fat girls…”

Aubrey was shocked to the core. She remembers that day when they mocked her and got seniors to tackle her and stuff her face with bread. Dara was there for her and beat the shit out of them.

It was already around 11pm when Aubrey got off twitter. She didn’t know what to do, should she tell Dara about her finding her account or should she also create a twitter account? But what will she post? Dara didn’t have many pictures with her face but in the ones she showed it she was beautiful. Not wearing any make up and her hair was greasy, her eyes puffy. In videos of her cutting or working out she had a look of exhaustion. In school she lost her spark 3 months ago, and her post about finally being her dream weight of 36kg was 3 months ago. She has recovered but deep down Aubrey knew she wasn’t. With a lot on her mind Aubrey fell into her bed and was fast asleep.

She woke up at around 3 am with only 3 and a half hours of sleep. Lately she’s slept for more than 14 hours a day because she was at school for only 7 hours or 8. She was tired most times but this night she had a lot of energy. Wiping cold sweat from her forehead she got up and went to her desk. She picked up a broken pencil sharpener from about a year ago and she took the blade out with a pen. She pressed it against her skin, scared.

She started crying. From the falling tears to her wrist all she could feel was emptiness. She cut and continued until her hand was covered in blood and scars. From deep and short ones to long and thin ones.

In the morning she woke up once again and quickly left for school. She didn’t eat lunch and dinner yesterday, and skipped breakfast today and purposely she forgot to make lunch. The only money she had on her were just enough for a bottle of water and some gum to keep her calm throughout the day. When she saw Dara she froze. That video she had seen was from 2 days ago, today marking 3 and Dara was wearing a really oversized sweater and leggings. In one of her post she swore she would never wear leggings again because it scared Aubrey of how slim her legs were. Aubrey wasn’t scared but she didn’t know why she was wearing leggings instead of short with the seater, it was March after all and it was so hot outside.

She didn’t bother asking her about, instead she went to Dara and just hugged her, letting tears fall down her cheeks.

“Aubrey are you alright?” She asked with her soft and feminine voice. The voice she used at school, but in her videos she felt herself and spoke with a louder voice which was so beautiful. Aubrey noticed the spark was still missing in Dara’s beautiful eyes.

“I found your accounts. Listen if you really ment what you wrote in your posts, why don’t you change schools? Or go live with your mom?”

“Because it would be weird for everyone. Here in this building, the people are so fake look what i had to do.” Dara answered with that familiar voice from her twitter and TikTok posts.

They hugged, but when everyone else got to school- some late some on time, they separated and continued with their daily lives.

Aubrey took on the second option and started posting on twitter, she friended Dara and they had multiple conversations online. One day after school Dara had stopped blogging. She didn’t come to school. Apparently she took Aubrey’s advice and went to live with her mom and changed schools. She messaged Aubrey one last goodbye on Monday , 11th of March 2024, Aubrey’s birthday wishing her a happy birthday and for her to get better. Which by now she hasn’t.

She’s still struggling. With scars all over her body, and the weight of a 5th grader.

206 scars on my body, i weigh 43kgs at 166cm.

[swagwinnerslime]

Thank God for friends!

I was told I would go to the mental hospital over cigarettes, because my work required me to work against and quit smoking cigarettes. I do figure why I’ve kept this up. Someone is tanging themselves to my everything.. god damn. So, matter of fact, I’ve been thinking about the random outburst. Why would someone want any and everyone to taste, smell, and conversate with everyone. This is literally sperm in a spoon. K? That’s what that behavior is like. And I’m the one that’s need to do that humbling , huh. How disrespectful. As many occurrences others have had with this individual. I’m not trying to change anyone where they are, but -minus* them from continuing to inclusively take advantage of me. Arguably, I’m back to text. I had a thought last night, about how me and my buddy used to be friends in computer class. They were even sweeter on my honey, right, idk what there veer at first sight was lol but ya, that made me feel good. I struggled right, with the idea that someone was making him stink during this time we were mourning significance with sickness and treatment. Staying mindful. So today I remembered the smell shit. Do, remember. What is significant to you. I’m am now as you called to my mind recalling specifically the quality of a good roast, even a chuck! What a wonderful world. So! In this case, I have a thought, concerning you and bon! And you 2 made me think of differencieng that. So bringing to light Red again, someone keeps trying to taunt the professionalism of cooking ward. I’m excited to go eat! I don’t want to forget, Red is back with food, Machiavelli wanted to do writing. I am thinking of what I want to do next. I got the great acceptance! Woo. I figured welding. I always come up with some cool stuff, I do not want someone to bend my thinking this time, I highlighted it with the appropriate color this time, I told you that big man from the mental hospital is who did that last time. Not cool. Don’t know what that has to do with me being in school. You cannot expertiece intritement. (Fuck no. You will not use my equipment, make your own. That is rude. )

But yes, going on. I mainly want to engineer. I like fixing cars, good at it, make plenty of money even with making the processing of equipment, which is making it, cheap. I would like to say the light of mentality does not come from bugging mentally. I used to work my way up to that, that’s a sin. I seriously have created a block from not being a disturbance on the other end. When you become a disturbance is when you can expect a reasonable surfing of what’s going on, like yeah I wonder, yeah I know that. Yeah that’s made me upset still not being to get ahold of him nonetheless just to say it doesn’t exercise that, it is literally the equation of not knowing what’s up with my kids although I have gone over that, theo pt.2

[blondebeardtheparent]

Captain’s Log

Stardate 20240722

Day 115

Last Friday we did a museum trip with our homeschool friends, and I added the cameras to the mix for fun. It turned out pretty well. I think everyone enjoyed the trip. It gave me an idea to start a photography class for kids. I posted the video to my feed, but once again, it got no useful response. I really dislike this city. Once our homeschool friends leave, there is absolutely no reason to stay here. I’m somewhat jealous of them, to be honest. They are headed to a wide open area with beautiful natural surroundings. Whereas we are here in dirty Dongguan with no useful purpose.

This place is so strange. In Shanghai, I could go jogging every day. I enjoyed it. Here, I don’t want to leave the house. When I can force myself out the door, I feel like I’m running through jello. It’s like there is a force here that works to make you as lazy as possible. It permeates everything. If someone is excellent at what they do, they quickly move on. Sloth is king in Dongguan.

I’m continuing the application process. I know I’m late in the game to be looking at that, but I don’t know what else to do. We are still burning money—not as quickly now that we are home, but still burning. I’ve cut out pretty much all non-essential spending beyond my breath mints and an occasional Diet Coke. My wife is going through a purge where she is getting rid of stuff that has followed us through our many moves but is neither used nor needed. We started in the boys’ room, then the school room, now she’s on the bookshelves. We’ve given away more that 40 kg in books already—mostly children’s books that our boys have outgrown. She’s working on clearing hers now. My library has been refined so many times that anything left is either digital, beautiful, or too good to get rid of. My MBA textbooks can probably go considering it looks like I will never get the chance to apply them anyway.

Sorry. Bitter thought.

It’s lunch time now. Gotta go figure out what to eat. Here are some links to our museum excursion.

https://youtu.be/ZB-TCYwCYgk?si=Vr12wKRJOlZiKCi9

https://youtu.be/ovLHwESt4AE?si=aGV3CpOUV0c2vfER

[traumagenica]

listen i love my dad and i know he does his best okay. but the way he treated me like a son my entire childhood right up until puberty started and then immediately rejected me was really fucking hard. it actually fucked me up a lot. it hurt. it still hurts. i remember the way he yelled at me when he saw my first used pad in the trash because "you're supposed to wrap that shit up, i don't wanna see or touch that!" i think it was the first time i ever felt ashamed of puberty. i remember him remarking on how much i was eating, but no longer in a positive light, talking about a healthy appetite- in a "you're gonna get fat if you keep that up" way. i think it was the first time i was ashamed of my eating habits; i went vegetarian soon after. i remember how he threw a tantrum when i decided to quit sports in high school and focus on theatre (because the coach was really mean and the girls kept sexually harassing me) - the rant was about the waste of money, "because why did i even bother buying you equipment you're not going to use?", neglecting the fact i'd already worn it out to bits over the years and that i still wanted to go outside and play catch with him. but i knew what it was really about- he was losing me, he thought. he didn't care that i still wanted to practice, that i still wanted to play catch with him. we never did play catch again. i remember him refusing to look at me if i wore something he felt was too revealing, i remember how upset he got when i wore heels and was suddenly taller than him, i remember how mad he got the first time he saw me leaving for work as a waitress wearing red lipstick, i remember i remember i remember.

i'd been ready to come out, then. or so i thought. but feeling my father's rejection - followed closely by my uncles, my grandfather - made me second-guess that. he clearly didn't want a son in me anymore- he was already looking to my brother for that, waiting for him to come into his own masculinity as he grew up, seeing the start of it somewhere in his boyish little face. no, he wanted me to be his daughter now - now, when i was finally ready to give up the word, when i was finally ready to be his actual son - but without his support, or my grandfather's, or my uncles', or my community as a whole's... in addition to the fact that my mother had always always always wanted a girly girl... i fawned. i femininized. if everyone was going to treat me like a girl now because my body was changing in ways i didn't even like, against my will, then fine. i'd be a girl. i'd be a daughter. and i'd be the best daughter. because i don't just have a brother - i have a sister too. one my father was not allowed to be there for due to extremely messy circumstances and a crazy ex-wife - one he was looking for me to replace now, instead. and i've essentially been trying to do that since middle school, only really starting to be my true self again years after i left home. no longer trying to be the stand-in kid. no longer trying to be a double-sided cardboard replicate of what a son or daughter should be. just being me, no matter what that is. which at this point seems to be just. me. there's male, there's female, there's son, there's daughter, and then there's me. not quite either. just some kid.

don't get me wrong, i'm glad he's closer with my brother and that they actually get along now cause for a while there they were having their own problems too. and i know he has trauma around father-daughter stuff thanks to how things went down with my sister, i get it. but the way he 180'd on me during such a difficult time in my life... i really needed my dad. and i didn't feel like i could talk to him. i barely felt like i was allowed to exist around him. i hated asking him for anything because it felt like he got angry every time i opened my mouth. there was a while there, before i left home, where i really thought my dad hated me. and though i know he doesn't and never did now, it did do lasting damage.

i think the worst part of it all, though, is i can't talk to him about any of this. his own mental health is too fragile. my choices are to tell him how he fucked me up and watch him tank himself with guilt, or never say a word and let him keep the solace that comes with knowing he did mostly right by at least one of his kids. no matter what, i'll be in pain, too. and if there's one thing i learned, it's to suffer in silence.

yes, daddy, i'll wear a modest dress under my graduation gown so you can be proud as you watch me take my diploma - even though i know you're imagining my sister in my place.

yes, daddy, i'll be the perfect bride so you can be proud walking me down the aisle - even though i know you're wishing it was my sister instead.

and yes, daddy, i'll be the perfect mother someday so you can be proud as you watch me care for my children - even though you wish it was my sister and her child you're watching instead.

yes, daddy, i'll go fishing with you because my brother doesn't like it, and i'll accept that i'm just your stand-in son - for the day, this time, not for good. i know

yes, daddy, i'll help you put up that shelf - but only my brother isn't around to help instead. i know tomorrow you'll ask him instead.

yes, daddy, i understand my place - i'm your golden child, but only until one of the others wants your attention.

yes, daddy, i understand - you weren't looking for me to be your son or your daughter. you just wanted me to be your validation.

yes, daddy, i'll validate you - i'll always be there. always smiling. always waiting for someone else to mess up so i can take their place again.

always waiting for you to want me again.

[lifewiththelulus]

All her friend throw there wallets at him and run XD

Lily: It was a total accident! But whatever. Put it on Daddy's card.

Dwayne: Does your father know you've been using his money for this kind of stuff, I don't think he would appreciate it. Make sure nothing like this happens again and we won't have any problems.

Maggie from behind her dads leg: >:P

Lily is definitely the type to give anyone that isn't her father an attitude lol

She's all sunshine and rainbows until her parents leave the room So her Dad would definitely be like "she would never! Lily is a pure angel."

Yes… but would baked woods have security camera footage they could bribe her with?

Unfortunately Birch is not a tech person XD She never had one installed But it's possible someone sitting in and eating might have gotten in on their phone in the background of their own video👀

"I saw you! You pushed it! Look I even got it on my phone!" Clearly shows Lily wait for Kindlin to turn around then pushing the display over

Lily crying: "oh my God why is everyone ATTACKING meee!?"

I know it probably wasn't her, but imagining Sprot videoing her just seems funny to me. XD

Sprout: "I got you in 4k on my DS!" She was probably recording a little kid video and pointed it to say something about her aunt kindlin when she caught lily

and obviously, Dwayne, Sprot, and Maggie all help Kindlin clean up. When Kindlin tries to tell everyone she's fine, Maggie gives her arm a hug and nuzzles her. (Her nuzzling is her way of saying she loves you)

Kindlin feels so guilty about bringing the drama in there, but feels a lot better after they help her

Kindlin has a real soft spot for kids, and Maggie absolutely melts her heart when she does that 😭

Maggie doesn't like to touch people outside her mom and dad, so her doing so is a big sign of trust.

The family Kindlin needs/deserves. What if Kindlin walks into the bakery all disheveled and bruised And when they obviously ask her what happened she's like "Oh I'm great actually, you should see how Lily looks."

Dwayne grabs her shoulders looks her straight in the eyes and asks: "Did you at least use a good one-liner?"Dwayne grabs her shoulders looks her straight in the eyes and asks: "Did you at least use a good one-liner?"

"Of course! I told them to call an ambulance. But not for me >:3"

Dwayne: sheds a tear of pride

Birch walks into the bakery and nearly fainted at the sight of kindlin XD

Grabs pan "What happened!? Are you ok? Who needs to perish!?"

Dwayne: Deep chuckles Apparently you should see the other girl.

Birch just bandages her up and lightly scolds her about words not fists lol

Ohhhhh man Lily's Dad coming in for a snack and he LOVES the salt water taffy pops So he asks them to cater an event Meaning Lily is forced to be nice and on her best behavior

She probably pissed herself when she realized her Dad went to the bakery and that he spoke with Dwayne in person XD

Dwayne and Lily's dad becoming friends XD

Just the thing she needs to back off of kindlin XD

"Lily! Come meet Dwayne, he's helping with the event today."

Sweating bullets "N-nice to meet you 0-0" 'Im screwed'