#i feel like a bad person

[absolutelyzoned]

hate admitting tgis. So much. but why do i get happier after something bad happens. i should NOT be this joyous.

[youcouldhearmesmile]

i downloaded dragon city during christmas because i wanted och exclusive dragons and the dapg banner. i have never touched that app again since.

[madame-mongoose]

ruining friendships by being avoidant, insecure, and mentally ill like a boss 👍

[adarkn1ght]

puter how to be empathetic. puter how do I comfort someone. puter. puter do you hear me

[skateisawesome]

am i a bad person if i message someone to talk to me

[nightfallsystem]

anxiety is fun bcuz im just chilling watching anime and my brain is like "this is the end of everything, this is the end of all of your friendships as you deserve for being a bad person, its all over soon." and im like "what"

[antique-symbolism]

I could uhh,,, use some reassurance. If anybody just feels like saying anything nice in my inbox or something.

[grey-tones]

How can I do better, how can I be more of who I am supposed to be when I feel like im just waiting for medication to fix me, how can I be better when I'm so tired all the time and just want to sit and do nothing, how can I be better when everything feels like so much and everything hurts all the time. How can I do better, be better.

[bobsten]

me trying to reject someone: screaming crying throwing up

[thesunkeptrising]

.

[kaitheghostkid]

so recently, a few of my friends have been telling me that a sticker i have on my water bottle looks ai generated and one even told me to take it off.

yes, i fully understand ai “art” is bad, and shouldn’t be supported, but the thing with that sticker is…

i got said sticker as a gift after i lost my original water bottle, i got it as a gift from one of my parents.

i’ve even told those kids that i did not buy the sticker, and that it was a gift (which they seemingly ignored)

“but you’re an artist, you should understand how bad ai art is” yes i do understand, i understand well how bad it is. but that sticker (for me) has sentimental value, considering it was a gift.

i feel like a bad person leaving it on but i also feel bad taking it off considering it was a gift, and i *know* those 2 friends will continue mentioning it when they see it.

this probably seems really stupid and like i’m making a big deal over nothing, but i get so easily attached to things and i hold sentimental value incredibly high, especially if it’s from my family.

this might make me look bad, just note i am NOT defending ai. it’s just sentimental value and the fact it was a gift

(also for clarification, the sticker was bought from an etsy shop that only clarifies they sell ai stickers in their bio, nowhere on the actual sell page for each item)

[genderless-ghosty-boi]

My brain has been fucked up to the point where I don't know what is real or not anymore. Sometimes I get so paranoid, I think my friends are all in on this massive joke that I'm the punchline for. Realistically, I know they wouldn't. They are all such amazing people, and I feel so lucky to have them. I'm aware that makes me a bad person, to think of them in such a light.

Unfortunately, my brain doesn't mix well with realism. The paranoia builds and builds until I don't have any materials left, and I crumble. It hurts, physically, when I am this scared. It makes me want to run.

I tend to joke when it comes to sharing my feelings, but I have no identity here. It feels safer, so to speak, when the only person who knows me is me.

[boofts]

i feel like a bad person

tw ed, sh, body disformia

i feel like a bad person.

because every time someone like you trusts me enough to open up about your issues i always end up invalidating them in my head.

you tell me you used to self harm with tweezers, you'd pinch your skin with them until you left scars.

internally i would look down on you, i cut myself with real knives. i'd think.

i would sit in the darkness of my closet and cry, because nobody really ever wanted me. and draw lines, five at a time. it has to be fives. it has to be even. down the places nobody would ever see.

my inner thigh.

my lower torso.

my upper hips.

until i craved fresh skin to mar.

and i'd slice places they could see.

my wrists.

my shoulders.

my shins.

maybe i was hoping they would.

you'd tell me you don't like to look at your body, you tell me you deny yourself meals.

that's cute. i would think. i examine my body in the mirror every chance i get. searching for the hundreds of flaws i know are there. the weight of my stomach. the awkward length of my arms. the knobby bend in my knees. the ungraceful way my calves would swoop into my ankles. the curve of my jaw. the wideness of my eyes. the swollenness of my constantly chewed on lips. the way my body would look different to me every time i looked in a mirror. the flaws distorting and taking up more room in the reflective surfaces.

and i wouldn't eat. and even when i did i would make myself feel guilty enough to kneel in front of a toilet and force my fingers down my throat until my stomach would give no more and tears were streaming down my face and into my nose and mouth.

suffocating me.

drowning me.

you tell me you've got a new crush. i laugh and indulge you in your fantasies. all the while i drown in my delusions.

you have crushes, fleeting forms of want. i have soulmates, i fall in love. unending, never wavering, unstoppable need.

i pour and i pour all my heart into this person, and never get anything in return. i would never dare to even ask.

you exchange looks in the halls and text me about it immediately after.

i spend a whole afternoon drowning in their voice, but still craving more. and yet i never say a word to anyone. because it would ruin the feeling of my very own Romeo. because with feelings as shallow as yours you couldn't possibly understand, right?

i feel like a bad person.

because i know that you feel as validly as i do.

but you never seem to actually show any thoughts for others. no empathy.

and i have been nothing but kind.

at least... outwardly.

i feel like a bad person.

[slimyweed]

getting into trouble for trying to sleep in my car like i’m a teenager again

[spectredreamer]