#i feel less pressure here than twitter tbh

[jessiethelion]

Adam Faulkner Stanheight - Saw 2004/Saw 0.5

[rainingincale]

.

[swords-of-a-soilder]

Bless you for compiling what’s going on with that ex-bird app. It’s been genuinely insightful for me to understand the thoughts of the kinds of people behind those accounts.

That person trying to cancel creators for associating with Forever (and probably advocating for his lore to be excised from the server) saying “but I can’t possibly give up guapoduo, it’s My Hyperfixation” is very telling. Hypocrisy specifically in the context of “separating the art from the artist” isn’t something I’ve seen before, shockingly, so I guess I get to add that to my Social Media Discourse Bingo. (I had an online friend in 2016 who I was terrified to talk about my interests with because I didn’t know what angry punk teenagers on tumblr had deemed “evil and disgusting”, and even SHE stopped listening to some of her favorite metal bands when she learned they were homophobic, and had absolute turmoil when she learned that David Bowie might have allegedly slept with an underage groupie in the 70s. Her constant, unpredictable rage at seemingly random pieces of media was awful for my mental health, but at least she wasn’t a genuine hypocrite.)

Also that tone of “I’ve had good memories here… but I just can’t handle it anymore.” It sounds like someone whose meaningful but soul-crushing work has finally broken them, almost sounding like someone I knew at the frontline worker job I had mid-pandemic who missed her own birthday three years in a row, got repetitive stress injuries, and then got passed over for a promotion that was given to someone who did a fraction of the work. But the “God willing, I’ll never come back” was followed by “I’m 13” …damn, I got whiplash so hard that I astral projected into a universe where things made sense for a second. Because of course kids don’t have a complex view of other countries’ political systems or cultural pressures. Or the nuances of personal change and redemption. Or that sometimes people are just not online for a few days. And of course a 13-year-old doesn’t understand how dumb and petty they look by trying to ruin other peoples’ careers in the name of Activism (tm) while having a fandom portmanteau username.

“I didn’t want it to come to this but… I’m going to delete twitter!” I hope so, but more for their own sake, honestly. I actually have less anger towards most of them now. Many are kids with a false sense of grandiosity that makes them believe they are the ultimate moral authority, but have very little understanding of how messy people or societies can be. I just hope they can learn one day, and look back on who they are now and cringe. (And then many years after that, have the grace to forgive themselves.)

Oof, sorry for the wall of text.

I’m still not over the whole situation with Forever. I miss his energy, and his accent, and his silly bits with Richas that always dragged on too long, and N.I.N.H.O. (and everything it represented), and how different he and Cellbit are but how they understood each other WAY too well, and how he tried to make people who didn’t log onto the server as often still feel welcome and wanted, and how happy he got when anyone non-Brazilian even tried to speak a little bit of Portuguese. (I was learning, but I’ve barely touched it since.) I won’t lie, it’s affected me far more than I thought it would.

I miss Forever. Thank you for your blog being a little space where that’s okay.

I'm honestly a little worried for the kid (s), not in a "oh I just want the best for" fake bs way just a little concerned tbh. I still don't like them but I don't hate them either, they're a kid.

But at the same time I'm worried for their well being, they have like 5,000 follower on their main Twitter and 28 on curious cat (which is apprantly high for that app )

That's 5000 people (teens or not) waiting for you to tell them how to feel that can't be good for their mental state, not for a 13 yr old kid.

Most of their life was spent learning about the world and their still learning, these are the ages where you're worried about the sun blowing up.

You haven't seen how awful the world can be yet, You haven't seen how much worst it could get you haven't learned calculus yet!

To you the world is only these 13 years and you think if you don't act now everything will be over.

I get it, I had that fear too, most people grown into it and realize just how shitty it can get an settle in choosing their own battles and not letting It consume them, because no one had time for that anymore.

You want to experience the most out of live while you can and the older you get the easier it is to balance.

To me it looks like one of those situation where you'll look back and think "I wish I enojyed my childhood."

Because 5000 people waiting for you to tell them who to bash, 28 people prasing your while admitting they use to hate you.

It can't be good. And if they were to read this they'd probably say "oh you don't actually care you just want to shit on me."

And like, yeah I don't care, but am I saying all this because I want to shit on them? no I'm just pointing out concerns.

Apart from that I fully agree with anon.

[destinyc1020]

I agree Tom should said something and I understand about becaue he’s a white privileged man and has a big platform but I have Twitter and im always active in the damn app and the discourse become about Tom besides the focus be on supporting francesa they were pressing the man to said something I was embarrassing for him because I knewn it wouldn’t saying anything at all and they were blaming Tom for the weird these they made about francesa more than blaming the racist and incels lol destiny they even called out zendaya saying how she didn’t tell him to speak like z is his mother pls some people on Twitter only care about the stan wars and getting a outta moment to drag Thomas

I mean, I don't think anyone should be PRESSURED to speak out about anything tbh.

If I have to beg and plead for you to say smthg, then you saying something will automatically feel cheap and less than once you DO say smthg. I don't wanna have to BEG someone to speak out on smthg that I feel passionately about.

If I have to beg you to say smthg, then you might as well not have said anything at all. 🥴

That's why I never understand it when fans are out here begging celebrities to speak up on smthg. Your words automatically lose value to me if I had to force or shame you into saying smthg. 🙄

That's just my personal viewpoint though. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Others may feel differently.

Like I said last week.... I'm 99.99999% sure that Tom said smthg to Francesca personally and in person, so I don't worry that she's not getting support from her cast mates.

But would it have been a nice gesture for Tom to say smthg himself, or even simply repost the producer's words in solidarity?

She's his Juliet....

But hey, Tom might still say smthg or address this issue in the future, so I don't think fans need to worry about it TOO much.

I still don't think that fans should be pressuring Tom (or any celebrity) to publicly speak on smthg.... whether on social media or in an interview. 🥴

[leqclerc]

how are you dealing with

The rest of your ask didn't go through 😭 So I'm not 100% sure what you meant here, but if you don't mind, I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to have a little rant about the race and Ferrari in general.

Realistically I know it's far too soon to already definitively say this season is a write-off, however, I will be honest... it's not looking good for camp Ferrari so far. I will say that the positives to take away from this weekend were 1. Charles's pace and performance (including that start which, as I had kind of expected tbh, put him P2 right out of the gate), 2. planning ahead regarding strategy and listening to Charles's input (he said after the race that he believes it was the right move and that it paid off), 3. so far so good on the strategy and pit stop front, although it's still early days and I'm fully aware we might see mistakes creep in.

As for everything else... 🙃 First immediate red flag appeared this morning already when we found out that Ferrari had switched out not one but two elements in Charles's car (energy store and control electronics) apparently as a precaution... only to suffer a (presumed) electronics failure anyway. The reports coming out post-race seem to point towards it being an electronics failure as opposed to a PU failure. Ferrari's obviously going to have to investigate between now and Jeddah - on one hand I'm hearing the elements they initially replaced may still be usable, and on the other there are rumours that he might have to take a penalty as early as Jeddah should they opt for a new, different set of elements altogether. So I guess for now we just......wait.

Then there's the pace/tyre deg issue. The Red Bulls were untouchable in race pace, but that was expected. Still, it looked like (and Charles later admitted himself) a comfortable podium finish for Charles. At one point Charles was told that the deg for hards is less extreme than expected and that he was doing a good job managing them. But... then I saw tyre deg comparison graphics floating around Twitter which made it seem like Ferrari was one of the worst when it came to tyre deg in this race, comparable to Mercedes. And we saw that Carlos was no match for Fernando even before that lockup with the pace/tyre deg combo. So I guess Charles was doing such a good job that it outwardly masked Ferrari's weaknesses as least partially??? But obviously with him DNFing with seventeen laps still to go it's difficult to tell how the rest of his race would've gone; he could've come under pressure from Fernando too.

Idk to me it's just discouraging that Ferrari apparently threw in the towel early on 2022 to go develop this car... and this is the result. It's not exactly an ideal title challenger, not in terms of race pace, or tyre deg, or reliability. I had a feeling that 2022 was their optimal chance to properly challenge for the title, and that they should grab that opportunity with both hands because it's only a matter of time before a third force joins the fight, and I was right. Of course everyone was expecting Mercedes to be that third force and not Aston, although Merc are still clearly unsatisfied with finishing fifth and seventh, even though the car, in its initial form, seems to be an improvement over last year's already. We've seen them react and bring upgrades that do push the car forward in terms of development (and play the political game when they see a clear benefit, like with the technical directive), so I'm absolutely expecting them to be in the mix, possibly even sooner than later. Ferrari, on the other hand, are kind of notorious for bringing a strong package and then actually regressing with their upgrades and developments, struggling with reliability as the season goes on, etc.

They're already in a way less comfortable situation than they were this time last year, and they're juggling a lot at the same time. Dealing with several issues simultaneously has never been their strong suit. We're hearing that the upgrades they're planning to bring soon should help with the balance, which should help with the deg and should help them recover some pace, and while that sounds promising, it's like Charles said... it doesn't matter where they are pace-wise if reliability prevents them from finishing races. So I'm really hoping we get some clarity on what went wrong and what they're doing to solve that.

[the-messenger-hawk]

#hhh yeah#i used to have a Twitter account there but#idk there’s a lot of pressure#the garbage bin that Twitter management is aside…#everyone is posting fast pass art like it’s a race to the end of the world#everything is so rushed and if you don’t hop on the wagon on time you’re stuck in Ignored by the Algorithm#furthermore: numbers#they added like a view number as well?#so aside from likes and retweets there’s also view count!#so you can feel even worse about how your art is doing!#there’s also the effect of#stuff that you spend 20mins being more popular than the stuff you sweat cry and bleed for#which I mean it’s also here on tumblr but it’s just so much worse there#and the overall Twitter experience is so noisy#idk how else to describe it#so yeah for my mental health i left Twitter altogether#if you start posting there don’t dessert us please ;v;

Yeah tbh The Algorithm™ is one of the big reasons why I've stayed away from there. Tumblr and Ao3 not relying on that is just so much less stressful as a medium, and only semblance of a schedule I've kept here is for the queue.

But it's such a shame because getting into a fandom that's relatively unknown here (comparatively) makes me want more interaction. The way the site runs ensures that I'll never leave tumblr; but I was thinking of making a side hustle there to put some art at least.

its sad that the tog fandom is pretty active on twitter because, I'd like to post art there but also, I hate twitter

[olderthannetfic]

Hi! I know you're one of the older fans on Tumblr & I wanted to ask you about the anti movement. I'm 19 & when I see people talking about the ages of anti fans, they're often within the 14-25 age range & I have no idea why. I also feel it's a little unfair to say that younger fans tend to be antis, though it is understandable since I've also made mistakes when I didn't know things. Why do you think most antis are younger fans? What should younger fans who aren't antis do to be more involved?

Hee! I’m 40, which, tbh, actually isn’t that old for Tumblr (though it’s certainly old compared to the common perception of tumblr), so sure, I can probably answer this. I guess there are two questions here: 1. Is it true and 2. why, if so?

1. Experience suggests that antis do tend to be young... but it does not follow that young people tend to be antis. (You’d have to know the proportion of antis relative to the overall population of fandom, which we don’t. I think the majority of people of any age tend to want to read fic in peace and not be roped into endless wank.) I definitely see some ringleaders who are older and good at manipulating fandom trends for their own ends too.

2. Why would this be the case?

When I was in college, we used to joke about all the freshman year Marxists. It’s an eternal phenomenon: people who don’t have much experience learn a new thing and are on fire to change the world using the one tool in their toolbox. (To a man with a hammer, yadda yadda.) There’s no passion like the passion of the newly converted, and young people tend to have a lot more energy and often a lot more free time to yell on social media. Antis may be one expression of this among people currently in that age bracket. It’s not like people my age didn’t do other annoying-ass things when we were that age. You just don’t see it because it was 20 years ago, a lot of it was never online, and all the websites/platforms from then have been systematically destroyed. (Often by yahoo. Fuck yahoo.)

The other half of the reason, in my opinion, is that there have been concerted efforts to sway lefty/socially liberal people in specific--often TERFy--ways. It’s somewhat reminiscent of the right wing radicalization of gamer guys.

People are susceptible to it because their lives suck and because they don’t know enough history or have enough confidence to form their own opinions and stand up for them. Sure, some people are going to go hardcore for anti views no matter how much they know, but a lot of people are just being swept along with the tide because something sounds superficially pro-gay or pro-protecting kids or whatever.

I cannot emphasize enough that the things that make someone ripe for the alt right are the same things that make them ripe for cults and for various kinds of toxic fandom shit: it’s usually the smart, sensitive overthinkers who don’t have enough close actual friends and who aren’t in a good place in their lives.

---

So what can you do?

You can try to make fewer more significant friendships and make sure your support system isn’t people you only know because you currently share a fandom. Most of my offline friends are people I found through fandom meetups, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for making fandom your life and only hanging out with fandom people, but we’re just regular friends who have dinner parties and shit (well, when it’s not the plaguetimes). Most of the time, we don’t share specific ships or fandoms. It’s vitally important to have a real support network that can’t be ripped away by social media wank.

The next thing we can all do is publicly stand up for what we believe in and not cave to pressure just because someone yelled “think of the children”. It’s important to be clear about the real history and logic behind these things, whether it’s the history of censorship that inspires people to support AO3′s extremely permissive policies or the fact that ‘queer’ was a fully reclaimed umbrella term in the 90s.

It’s okay if we don’t all agree. What’s not okay is appeals to emotion and ignoring science. A lot of anti bullshit is like “Rape fantasies are an abnormal red flag”, and this goes against every damn thing we know about human sexuality.

Part of this is examining our own stances for illogic and hypocrisy. If thought crimes aren’t real, then all of them aren’t real. I see way too many “Okay, but that one gross kink though!” comments from people who claim to be on my side, and this is very silly.

Possibly the biggest thing, though, is that we as a planet need to start being savvier about shitty social media and how it’s destroying our mental health. I don’t have a good overall solution, and obviously, I’m still on tumblr, but we all really need to cut down the amount of time we’re on sites like Facebook and Twitter and probably tumblr too. The more it has an algorithm and the less it has moderation, the more it’s a problem. Individual discords and spaces that can have moderation are better. It’s fine if some of them are 100% antis. The point is to have multiple spaces with rules that suit different groups.

A thing you can do is make your own spaces: be the owner of a discord for your ship, not just a passive participant at the mercy of shitty mods in an existing one. Run a fic exchange with rules you think are sensible and be firm when people try to scream about problematique things you don’t agree are a problem. One of the most pernicious anti problems is mods breaking the rules of their own spaces (usually a “no kinkshaming” one) to cave to social pressure from the loudest, most assholish set of people in the server. They don’t know how many people quietly disapprove and quietly leave their fandoms because they only fear the loud harassers, not the silent toll of caving to them.

Honestly, the climate of fear is the big issue more than a bit of yelling: I routinely meet 20-somethings who live in fear of being canceled and shunned. You can help this by... not being like that with your friends. If they’re friends with a canceled person, don’t ask them to drop the canceled person or face the same fate. If you disagree about some fandom hot take, talk about it calmly and don’t act like the friendship will be over in 5 seconds and you’ll use all your knowledge of them against them in a public callout because they didn’t instantly agree.

Basically, have some self confidence and don’t be fucking terrified all the time... which can be a tall order and probably explains the age thing also.

[nothorses]

Are there actually more than a handful of transfems who support a more intersectional and nuanced take on the trans community and inclusion of a term for transmascs to describe their experiences? Because I feel like I'm not running into very many and it's depressing.

There are! tbh even though most folks who aren't, like, actively talking about it on the internet, I can pretty confidently say that all the transfemmes I know or have met in real life (minus, like, a singular deeply online 19 year old I met briefly three years ago) are supportive of transmascs and the words we use to talk about our experiences. (I mean, hell, my friends regularly joke with me about some of the stuff that goes on here. They know I love them.)

It's not about taking anything away from transfemmes. It's not about pinning the actions of a few on the whole community, it's not about blaming them for the environment that has been created by pressures from cissexism, and it's not about erasing or speaking over their experiences- including negative experiences with transmascs.

It's about us, and a word to talk about our unique experiences, and building solidarity within the trans community. Most transfems I have met, online and off, are pretty grounded and compassionate people. I would go so far as to say that the majority of the transfem community is pretty grounded and compassionate.

So even if they don't understand all this stuff, I think people are usually pretty willing to listen, learn, and take it seriously.

I'm sorry you haven't had that experience. I hope you're able to meet more good folks! And it might be worth reaching out to transfems who aren't online to form those connections; I know there are some rough spaces offline too, but I find people who are less full of twitter trans community brainrot are generally a lot easier to talk to.

[lavendermilkandhoney]

Just wanted to thank everyone who still take time to support each other and what I do on tumblr. I know the algo sucks and the numbers aren’t as high as in other places, but this is the social media platform that works best for my posts and where I feel the less pressure.

I tried to post in many other places, but it never felt right. Twitter is too competitive for my liking. Reddit makes me feel weird. Insta is just not worth it. Discord is very fast paced and overwhelms me a lot, even if I enjoy it more than the others. But tbh, when I start to try to post more around to get my stuff seen, I always start to feel emptier after a while. It’s like I feel it doesn’t mean much to me. My mind starts to get more focused on getting more validation the more active I am and it’s just not a fun ride. It’s never worth the anxiety. So I stop fast and go back to posting in my corner.

I still think the way the tumblr interface is made makes me appreciate more the content than I would in any other places I named, but that’s personal preferences anyway. I just think genuine appreciation can’t be rushed that much. So even if I get less seen here, I feel I get more seen the right way. Most of all it’s where I feel my space is really mine. And to me it’s better to be alone in your space, than to feel lonely in a crowd.

Sending a hug to people that are struggling with self doubt atm. No one or anything reflect how much you or what you do is worth, even if it’s hard to believe in tough times cause social media is designed to play with a part of our brain that is almost impossible to control. And it’s totally okay to feel like shit about it, even if we have to do what we can to not expose ourselves to that much invalidation so we don’t end up invalidating ourselves as much. Even if I’ll always envy some creators and the support they get, I try to see them more as inspiration because they are first of all and helped me make my craft better so I could also give myself more internal validation by seeing I can improve more than I thought and make my inner world feel even more real.

So I wanted to say all that here, in a post, not in a private discussion or in a discord. Cause I know not everyone has that or prefer/need to mostly stay away like myself. 🫂❤️

[cat-sapphics]

why is it that having luz icons with a lesbian flag twibbon is perfectly fine (rightfully so) but having amity icons with bi flags is "lesbian erasure." i'm sensing some hypocrisy at a two-way street here tbh, perhaps with a side of careless biphobia!!

like, i'll see lesbians on twitter who favor luz over amity have lesbian flag icons, which is VALID and there SHOULDN'T be anything wrong with that. you shouldn't even need a big neon sign with an arrow in your bio clarifying that you being a lesbian is not inherently stating that luz is too. this is obviously common sense. such restriction is unneccessary.

but i see a lot of disapproval and discomfort and wary behavior around bi sapphics who have amity as their icon along with a bi flag to show their individual pride. thankfully it's much less common than i make it out to be, but i've seen "callouts" for lesbophobia and the offense in question is a bi amity icon without a disclaimer in their bio about knowing amity isn't bi... which, again, isn't an obligation if people aren't stupid. i only really attach onto luz being autistic in addition to having adhd because i feel like properly representing myself through amity only as autistic would still somehow be lesbophobia, and that's some ridiculous bullshit.

it's like this is the only time bi sapphics (in this case, luz) who favor/date only girls are seen as lesbians - which isn't to glorify the mistake, as it's not real validation and is actually harmful, but it seems like every other instance we get seen as disgusting "bihets" and i'm so fucking tired of it.

i only recently changed my icon here from catra with bi flag backgrounds, not out of pressure, but because i prefer my current one. and guess what?? one of the reasons why i was blocked by a popular blog centering around amity's lesbianism was simply because i was apparently claiming/implying catra was bi and being lesbophobic about it, which... literally never happened. ever.

y'all treat bi sapphics so shitty for refusing to be ashamed of our bisexuality. it's unfair. many of us deserve an apology, especially on twitter (lol).

[tundrainafrica]

hi! i just wanted ask how can you not be so pressured to change hange’s gender to your fics (she to they/them) despite that many twitter users are saying that “au authors must use they/them to hange because they are canonically NB” . because to be honest, as an aspiring writer who is working on her first levihan fic, i feel so pressure or maybe obligied to use they/them pronouns for hange.

Hello Anon,

Thanks for the ask!

To be honest, I actually was pressured to use ‘they’ tbh. In fact, I was so pressured I actually did a lot of research on this and put a lot of thought into my decision to use ‘she’ as my chosen pronoun for Hange.

But tbh, I think I am pretty confident with the amount of research and the amount of thought I put into it that I don’t think I will be using ‘they’ in my fics anytime soon. 

Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean at all that I don’t like reading ‘they’ fics nor that I don’t like seeing people use ‘they.’ Tbh I don’t really mind whatever people use? I can enjoy a fic with either pronoun, I can enjoy a good meta with either pronoun. I have my own personal reasons for using they. 

Some of the reasons why: 

Personal HC 

Personal HC but I’m still gonna drop this here. 

To make things clear, I headcanon Hange as gender fluid. I headcanon her as sexuality fluid that personally, I’m not too much a fan either of fics that portray Hange as overly feminine either. So I have seen people who request that we do not use overly female or feminine words with Hange. Which yes, I don’t do them. But was a peer pressured into not using them? 

No, not really. I just personally think Levi would prefer the word partner if he was with Hange. I personally think that Hange would not have liked to fall into traditional female roles either. 

At the same time, I thought about the concept of using ‘they’ as a pronoun with Hange then I couldn’t help but think, it just isn’t in my personal interpretation of Hange to correct people. Hange is too much of a free bird to actually care what people use. Hange would probably respond to he, she, they or whatever and she probably wouldn’t correct anyone calling her mr., mrs. etc.

And in the context of Filo soc med AUs, Hange would probably respond to ate, kuya. (And besides, what is the gender neutral form of ate or kuya??? Mamsir)

And generally the default for most people is to look at someone and think okay, she’s a girl, I think I’ll use ‘she’ first. Or okay, that’s a guy, I think I’ll use ‘he’ first and what usually happens is if anyone is particularly conscious about the pronoun used on them, they will correct the other person. 

But there are people out there, who don’t care whether someone uses she, he, they, mr., mrs, ma’am, sir. For example, personally for me, I wouldn’t bother to correct anyone. And I headcanon that Levi and Hange wouldn’t have cared either. 

I’m sure people who read my fics would notice, I do put a lot of research when I write because I like to make things as realistic and as in character as possible.  So to get into the spirit of my fic and whatever setting I’m writing, I try to capture everything to a T and given the overall landscape and setting I’m writing about and given my own headcanons of Levi and Hange I decided on she.

Because in my headcanon, if someone were to ask Hange what pronoun she preferred? Hange probably would have said any. 

Likewise, if anyone asked Hange what her gender was, Hange probably would have said ‘any’ also.

And the setting of the show is practically medieval and gender identity is a relatively new concept. I don’t think many people would have spent too much time pondering ideas like individualism and  gender identity when they’re literally facing death everyday.  Actually a lot of the great thinking happened after the war, and when there was actually food on the table. Because people weren’t actually hungry everyday anymore so they had time to think about more modern thoughts. 

‘She’ is still an NB pronoun 

I answered this in another ask already. But the point behind this, is although ‘they’ is the go to non binary pronoun, there are NB people who go by she too. And creating this idea that all gender fluid characters HAVE to go by ‘they’ is dangerous in itself because the reason we had gender discrimination in the first place is because we had these boxes to fit ourselves into. So if a NB person wants to go by ‘she’ or ‘he’ or ‘they’ who are we to stop them? 

And I said it many times myself. We will never know which pronoun Hange would have preferred for herself. 

I get confused. 

This is a shallow reason but I’m gonna drop this here anyway. I get confused when I see ‘they.’ I read a lot of content which uses ‘they’ for Hange and I get confused a lot of the time that I have to read the sentences like three times because I end up thinking ‘Hange and who?’

I know I should have gotten used to it by now, but I still get confused because english is the only language I use on a regular basis that actually has such strict rules for how to navigate gendered pronouns.

I don’t wanna be peer pressured into doing shit just coz. 

Tbh, for me, as long as I did my research, as long as I can argue both sides as to why and as long as I am confident in the fact that I have thought about this enough before deciding on this, I will not change it. 

I am pretty convinced that a lot of people who actually go all the way as to attack someone on twitter and to cancel them (over a lot of topics tbh) haven’t done their due research. 

Because most of the people I know who have done their due research wouldn’t be fighting (on Twitter OF ALL PLACES) in the first place. 

Because doing actual research (which means reading articles which support both sides of the argument) will only make people realize that the world is too grey and too complex to ever make pushing their own agenda, ‘cancelling’ someone and calling them transphobic, homophobic, racist etc ect  or as they like to call ‘educating’ someone the right thing to do. Believe me, if people genuinely wanted to educate someone, they would slide into their DMs and calmly tell them their own opinion, ask why the other person believes a certiain way and you know, be ready to learn something too because education is a two way street. And if the conversation isn’t going anywhere, I think any level headed person would probbaly just give up and do something more worth while with their time than cancel some stranger on social media.

Regardless though, I respect either decision and I recognize the fact that a lot of Hange stans are very much more comfortable with the pronoun ‘they’ My general practice when navigating this sensitive topic is to use ‘they’ for Hange when talking to someone who prefers ‘they’ because it’s a conversation and in conversation, the space becomes something shared between me and the other person so I would do my part to make it as comfortable for them as possible. 

But here’s the thing, my fic is my space. It’s a house I built for myself and the readers are the visitors that come in and out as they please. No one is forced to read my fic and never have I and never will I tie someone down on a chair and not free them until they read my work. 

It’s my fic. It’s my work and I can do whatever I want with it.

People tend to forget that in the end this is a fandom space and people should be free to headcanon things however they want. They should be free to explore whatever themes they want. And I like to do my part to promote this type of environment by sticking to a few iron clad rules.

I write what I want to write.

Don’t like, don’t read.

Content is free. There’s a back button and if you do not appreciate the themes someone is exploring or the headcanons someone is applying to their fic, you may click the back button and look for something that doesn’t offend you. 

(I’m gonna end up digressing a bit here so feel free not to read the rant below)

There are an infinite number of headcanons and ideas which ideally should be able to exist. Yet because of this constant need to be politically correct and this constant fear that we might be offending someone and we might end up cancelled, a lot of people have been watching their own creative works more than necessary. 

I actually fear that there are a lot of good ideas and there are a lot of themes that could have been explored but weren’t. 

And this is why I love ao3 a lot. Ao3 is free from societal pressure, corporate synergy and I appreciate the fact that in that space, I’m free to explore whatever themes I want. I can read something pro-rape, I can read something anti-rape. I can read something pro abuse, I can read something anti-abuse etc etc. 

I personally have very liberal views and obviously I am not for rape or abuse in ANY situation.

But I am also the type of person who will read things that celebrate a controversial topic and things that will attack that same topic because I just generally want a more nuanced opinion on a lot of things. Because when I have seen both sides of the spectrum, then it’s just easier for me to proudly say ‘Yes, I believe this’ or ‘No, I don’t believe that.’

And I think these pieces should be available for other people to explore so that they can for themselves form more nuanced opinions on whatever topics come their way and the more sides people are aware of that exist, the less likely we’re going to end up with groupthink or hivemind situations which have fucked people over countless times in history already.

Should questionable content be widely available? Personally no but I don’t think it should be completely unavailable.

Regardless these potentially offensive pieces should exist and  I’m saying this for both controversial topics such as rape and abuse and something as relatively harmless as Hange being referred to as ‘she’ on a fic. All stories exploring every facet and every side regardless of how controversial should exist in this space because these promote discourse and they promote thinking. These pieces of work that explore taboo and offensive topics and the discourse these create only serve to make our opinions more nuanced so at least we aren’t blinded or we don’t have these half assed opinions only fueled by having read material created by people who are biased to one particular side. At least we have enough fuel for ourselves to say ‘Yes I have read this and now I can more proudly say I believe this more.’  

Whatever opinions I have made for myself about social issues are only how they are because I listen to both sides of the argument. I like to play devil’s advocate. I like to listen to people even if I don’t agree with what they’re saying. 

And I like finding compromises so that people can co-exist and I like tweaking my opinions everyday based on new information I learn.

And personally, there are so many views I hate and there are types of topics I personally would prefer not to explore but I still believe in the back of my mind they should exist. And if we do whitewash or try to force everyone to adjust their works to whatever side we deem is more ‘politically correct,’ then we will lose facets of the fandom that could have existed, that could have promoted a more colorful discourse and that could have sprouted new ideas and new ways of thinking which may be even more creative if people weren’t so scared to be cancelled or wrong.

It’s different in a conversation. I will adjust the way I speak, the way I navigate interactions with people in a shared space. 

But no one is forced to read my works no one is forced to read fanfiction so cancelling someone over how they go about their creative works will always be worse in my book than someone who is exploring problematic themes. (As long as that person tags their trigger material properly and isn’t forcing anyone to read it or forcing their own personal beliefs on anyone or attacking them)

Anyway, sorry for the long ass rant again but I hope you get the courage to use whatever pronouns you want for Hange. 

I hope this makes you realize that there really isn’t a black and white to this. And this is a fandom space. Do whatever you want. Headcanon whatever you want. Just be respectful and kind.

[heybaetae]

i feel like i don't fit in anywhere its wild. i dont make gifs anymore but when i did, i was just 'there' i went to conventions for these shows i made gifs for but made no friends cus when i went i still felt like i didnt belong. then i got into the bts fandom & everyones so inviting but since i dnt make anything im not known here or have followers of the same interests. i cant seem to find a place on twitter cus they're so fast paced and im not that talkative & tbh they seem younger most the time. im just never able to fit in anywhere and its kinda isolating when i have these interests and ppl seem to have so many friends in these fandoms. like im rlyyyy enjoying this show right now but even when i made a post about it, i cant seem to connect with people personally. maybe im not being more forward. i barely talk to my only 2 friends. my ex was the closest person with me & i dont share that little world with them anymore. i feel like i've lost myself. idk if this make sense *sigh* its just hard to see ppl connect with each other and i feel like no matter how much we have in common i dont belong here.

hi friend ♡

first of all, thank you for trusting me enough to send this. i like to hope my inbox feels like a safe space for anyone who needs a person to confide in or to just air their feelings out. i hope just by writing this all out, you feel a little bit lighter.

secondly, i relate to a lot of what you described. listen, i’ve been doing this fandom thing for a long time on and offline, so i’ve definitely been around the block of knowing where i feel like i fit in and where i don’t. and while i wouldn’t necessarily call myself shy, i’m very introverted. i absolutely understand not being the talkative type and ultimately letting just that fact alone be what dictates whether or not you form any friendships in whichever fandom you’re trying to make them in. you are right in the sense that sometimes you do have to push yourself and be a little more forward with it. conversation starting is daunting, but that’s how we get literally everywhere, right? it’s such a simple answer, but so scary too and that’s okay.

i think online fandom spaces—especially within the last few years as the “tumblr fandom” generation slowly migrated into “stan twitter” which is, like you said, mostly dominated by much younger people in comparison and definitely not the place i’d worry too much about not fitting into because it’s a hell scape and you’re so, SO much better off not being “known” on that site unless the subject’s fandom is very small, trust me—has refigured the way a lot of us with a classic case of wallflower syndrome navigate through the communities we try to find a place in. 

now it comes with an overwhelming need to “contribute” to the community in some way, shape, or form or you’re downright invisible. of course this isn’t true and i’m not sure exactly where this train of thought came from (maybe it’s the euphoria of going viral and building up a following, knowing people will interact with your posts no matter what it is just because you’re funny, creative, talented, etc.), but it’s definitely at the root of why some of us feel isolated in a fandom nowadays and that kind of experience isn’t healthy in my opinion. you’re just setting yourself up for failure (read: cancellation) and WHO in their right mind genuinely wants that kind of pressure in return for a little attention? not me! that’s why i always try to remind myself that my metaphorical place in a fandom doesn’t have to stem from whether or not i’m contributing anything so long as it’s more “i want to do this simply because i like to and it brings me joy” and less “i feel obligated to do this in order to feel seen”. i hope that makes sense. 

you literally do not need to bring anything to the table to be included. there is always a bigger percentage of people who just exist liking that thing than people who go out of their way to show it. neither type of fan is any less. you belong where ever YOU decide to be. it’s always up to you. 

as for the making friends part? i really do wish i had the secret formula to this that would solve this issue for everyone, myself included, but i’m still figuring it out. i haven’t really broken through the loneliness of this fandom yet, but i’m honestly not in a hurry either. i really like vibing on my own here. i’m speaking from experience when i say i have been in other fandoms where i was very known. very followed. very seen. very WATCHED. very influential if i wasn’t careful with my words. it felt like a job position i could lose at any moment if i made one wrong move or voiced one wrong opinion. while i had a lot of friends and met a lot of people in real life, shared a lot of amazing experiences and made a lot of memories, that kind of toxic environment i spent years in changed how i participate in a fandom now. i’m more reserved. i’m very comfortable not being known. i’m less eager for vocalize my every thought. i seemed to think the relative popularity amongst people i shared a fandom with was gonna keep me happy, but it really didn’t. and those friendships weren’t built to last because people just...turn on you so fast. 

so. my best advice for being in a fandom these days is to find your circle of people and when you do (which you WILL), for the love of god, keep it small and keep it close. it’s so much better. take those baby steps. reach out to people, start convos, compliment someone’s work or respond to their thoughts. a lot of us are truly just circling each other aimlessly, too shy to speak up first. it’s more universal than you think.

sorry for this long rambly response that probably wasn’t very helpful. but this message struck with me because i really empathize and i’m very sorry you’re feeling this way now. it won’t last forever, that i know for sure. <3

[villainanders]

don’t reblog (unless you want to answer with a long comment that’s fine)

Hi friends, I know a lot of smart people from a wide range of perspectives follow me here so I wanted to see what your thoughts (particularly from bipoc book people) are on this take I saw on Twitter (long-ish post under the cut)

I’ve seen this idea more or less expressed a few times, though rarely this blatantly, and tbh every time I’ve seen it and thought more deeply about it I’ve always had an issue with it, honestly for reasons pretty similar to the ones I talked about in this post I made on straight authors writing LGBT books.

That said, I’m white. And while I think people should be able to form their own educated opinions on things no matter what their experience is, I know that means I’m missing basically the entire range of experience and perspective that goes behind this. 

Right now, as I understand it, there are main two arguments for this. First, that representation written by white people is often mediocre at best and offensive at worst. Which is like, fair, but I can’t help but feel the same way I do on my straight authors post: when representation is bad, we should critique it. When online resources and paid sensitivity readers exist, it feels like a decent author should be able to put the effort and thought in to write representation outside of their own experience that, while probably isn’t going to be anything groundbreaking on the identities being covered, is still accurate and positive. 

The other argument I’ve seen is that white writers writing bipoc main characters could potentially take opportunities away from ownvoices bipoc writers. I don’t really buy this one either? Or rather, I sort of do, but I feel like it’s finding a solution to the wrong problem? I feel like this operates under the assumption that publishing houses are looking to fulfill a measly quota of books with bipoc mcs and they’re just as happy to have those slots filled by white authors than bipoc authors. To be clear, I absolutely think this is true to some extent - that publishing houses feel pressured to meet the bare minimum of ~diversity~ without actually caring about supporting bipoc writers. But what makes more sense to me is to put the pressure on publishers to seek out bipoc talent, so we have white authors sometimes writing bipoc mcs and bipoc authors sometimes writing bipoc main characters so there’s more characters of color all around. 

As it stands, this sounds like it’s asking authors to control aspects of the publishing industry they have no effect over (and also puts pressure on bipoc authors to always write ownvoices!). As the industry stands right now, you ask a white author to not write their book with a main character of color, and they 1) don’t write that book and the editor just ends up buying another book by a white author or 2) do write that book but with a white main character and so there’s one more book out there with less representation. 

I don’t know, this post is much longer than I intended it to be, but I’m interested in knowing what people think? Am I missing something, or understating the ability of authors to control which other authors get contracts? Let me know what you think!

[lastparty]

sorry if this is weird, u don’t have to answer but ive been thinking abt ur soccer essay bc of the bronze match and it nails so many points i haven’t been able to articulate so tysm. like there’s so much to be said about women’s sports in the us vs aus + how differently success is defined. i feel like even a medal-less matildas (+ australian audience) will still be prouder than a bronze usa (+ american audience)? it makes me sad that the us girls have so much pressure on them re: everything to do with gender, equal pay, politics, etc, and the way that they do have more fans than the matildas, but the matildas seem to have more general audience support across the country, even tho womens sports are never rly big here? like when we lose we still rally around them, but the us team essentially become targets in the media and part of national discourse (NOT denying misogyny, racism and the godawful media in aus tho!). and ur point abt the matildas thriving on energy!! even if they lose, there’s still so much to be proud of & they’ll keep thriving, esp with the world cup coming up; they also seem to have more fun with soccer? it’s less of a chore to them, whereas america’s Anything But Gold Sucks mentality rly is soul destroying (SO much to unpack re: constructed nationalistic narratives and how they operate, the role they play; america as #1 always, aus as the eternal underdog etc). so i want them to win bc ik what losing will mean (even if they’ve already lost by usa standards), but i rly do need the matildas to pull thru too lmao, it’ll be interesting how (if at all) it impacts both the team’s future performances and woso in aus post-olympics.

it's not weird thank u for responding i love to discuss!!!! these are all very interesting points. i definitely agree that both countries have such approaches to success and it's definitely influenced by national identity. and possibly also a different sporting culture where yeah we love to just have a go and hopefully get results but it's the effort that matters? this is a tangent sorry but i'm reminded of the 4x200m girls getting bronze and how disappointed they seemed at first after being the favourites to win gold but they still swam so well and everyone (viewers media commentators etc) were quick to say this. i do think swimming is the australian sport with the most pressure on athletes to win gold but literally even being at the olympics IS an achievement much less being an olympic medalist!!! and yeah the uswnt have immense pressure not to fail because fans expect them to succeed and at the same time it's like others are just waiting to criticise them? either people questioning if this the downfall of the team / saying they were never that good to begin with or bigots and hurl awful abuse at them, mostly at megan rapinoe because she is like visibly gay and outspoken and received a lot of media attention from the 2019 world cup. also this whole narrative of the unbearable usa as well makes people forget that they HAVE lost tournaments and matches before it is something that happens to everyone.

i also think that the matildas getting this far is already an achievement whereas the uswnt are kind of expected to win any match they go into? and even if they usually do win a win-or-fail mindset is not good. i think someone said that the uswnt seem like they've been playing not to lose which i would agree with and is very different to playing with a determination to do your best and therefore win. so yes your point about a medalless matildas vs bronze usa is excellent and i agree strongly!! the teams have such different histories and narratives surrounding them and both would have been disappointed to lose but i do think the matildas will bounce back better and therefore do better. i think the usa girls do have fun playing it just hasn't happened much this tournament which is genuinely sad!! this pre-olympics writeup is quite telling in places tbh and the author on twitter noted that they said the last pre-roster camp was tense and the send off series did not feel like a relief. probably an unfair/unnecessary comparison bc both teams should focus on themselves but it's almost the opposite energy to the tillies right now u_u so i hope they manage to regroup and find a way to find some joy again in this last match and not worry about potentially "failing" by not medalling. i'm legitimately like why can't they just all play really well and then SHARE the bronze medals.

also i think this will def boost woso in australia and the profile of the matildas and also force the uswnt to rebuild (something that would have had to happen anyway) and reflect and come back stronger so i'm excited to see all of that tbh!!!

[purplesurveys]

1278

Social Media Survey

[joybucket]

What is your favorite social media site?  Either Twitter or YouTube, though I never use YouTube as a social media site per se so I guess this round goes to Twitter.

Do you use...

facebook? myspace? twitter? snapchat? instagram? youtube? pinterest? bzoink? another site with message boards? tumblr? deviantart? xanga?

Facebook

Do you get on Facebook every day?  Yeah pretty much all throughout the day. I used to never use it, like never ever; but back in college all announcements were coursed through Facebook so I was technically required to be on it regularly, and it was from there that I began to see memes and start to be more active. I’m a shitposter more than anything though and I rarely ever post stuff of my own. How many FB friends do you have?  I have 679 at the moment but I want to get rid of like 500 of them; it’s just such a long list to go through so I never get to proceed with my unfriending spree lol.

Have you ever been on a deleting spree?  HAHA I just mentioned that. I’ve always wanted to, but like I said 679 is already such an exhaustive list for me, and that’s considering I only started touching my Facebook in like 2019. I can’t imagine people who started Facebook in like 2009 and have 4000 friends aka most people I know.

Have you blocked a lot of haters?  I don’t have haters; at least I’m not aware of any that I have. Not that it’s something I care about at this point.

Do you get bullied online a lot?  No, but that’s also because I don’t really open the channels for people to send in hate. I don’t have Q&A handles like Curious Cat and I never pick out that option in Instagram where people can send in questions.

What's your favorite Facebook app?  Oh I never use Facebook for their apps. Are those still even a thing...? Anyway, I mainly go there to be on the hunt for stupid memes I can reshare or to watch videos that are either funny or informative.

Are you a fan of selfies?  I don’t mind if other people do it, but I think I’m honestly bad at selfies so I almost never take them. I’ve never figured out my angles or what filters look ok on me.

Has anyone ever called the police on you because they didn't like your status?  No but I have had my posts reported because they were deemed ‘offensive.’ Which is weird because my posts that have been taken down are those that speak out against disgusting men, which says a lot about Facebook runs their shit more than anything else.

Are you in any facebook groups?  I’m in nearly a hundred groups, both private i.e. for school purposes, and public.

Are you the admin of any groups?  Nah. Too much time and effort needed out of me.

Do you report abuse to group admins whenever you see it?  Yes. I report the post then leave the group.

What could make Facebook better?  They could put more effort into detecting and banning troll farms.

What year did you start using Facebook?  I made an account in 2012 because of a high school class that required us to upload this specific video-format homework onto Facebook (which in hindsight is such an insensitive homework considering that was nearly a decade ago when the Philippines was still severely behind in internet connection speeds?? Ugh). But I didn’t start actively using my account until around two years ago.

What is your current profile picture of?  Myself, posing in front of the sunflowers in school during the recent graduation season.

Did you like the old Myspace better than Facebook?  I was never a regular user of Myspace, so...

Pinterest

What are some of your favorite boards?  I’ve never had a clue what the purpose of Pinterest was. I mean I have an account...but I’ve also never gotten the hang of it?? so I never touch it hahaha.

Have you ever done a craft you saw on Pinterest?  Well no, because I’m terrible at arts and crafts anyway.

Do you have a Dream Wedding board? If so, what's on it?  No.

If you have a Dream House board, what does your dream house look like?  Ok fine this one I did start hahahah but I don’t even remember what I added on there anymore. I’m sure it was filled with modern-style houses with minimalist interior design.

Do you wish they'd bring the "like" button back?  I’m not even aware of this option.

Do you have a Bucket List board?  Not aware of this either.

Which do you like better: Just Girly Things or And That's Who I Am? The second one sounds less childish. < Same, and it sounds like it covers more.

Do you have a board for tattoos you like? If so, what are some of your faves?  No. The only one I ever made was the house one, then Pinterest quickly became boring from there when I realized there wasn’t much else I could do besides making mood boards.

Do you have a "Random" or "Miscellaneous" board?  No.

Have you ever reached the maximum number of boards?  No.

Do you have any secret boards?  No.

Have you ever had a Pin deleted because of copyright laws?  No.

Do you have a Color board? No.

Do you have an About Me board? If so, what's on it? No.

YouTube

Do you have a YouTube channel? If so, what is it?  Technically I do but I only have it so I can tailor video suggestions to my interests and so that I can like videos and subscribe to channels I like.

What kind of things do you post on YouTube?  I’ve never posted any video on there, not even private ones. I’m also not the type to comment.

What do you like to watch on YouTube?  These days YouTube serves as a stress reliever for me, which is to say I would typically go for humorous BTS-related compilations because there are sooooo many hilarious channels that make these great videos haha. Occasionally I’d go back to channels or series that I used to frequent, like Good Mythical Morning, Buzzfeed’s Worth It and Unsolved, Try Guys, Watcher, etc. 

Are you subscribed to any channels?  To so many.

Do you watch any vlogs? If so, what ones are your favorite?  Hm probably Jiwoo’s, though her channel is called Mejiwoo. I find her content calming and conversational and basically fun to binge-watch when I’m not looking for anything super super particular to watch.

If you have a channel, how many subscribers do you have?  0. I’m just a lurker.

Will you subscribe to my channel? (msg me if you want a link!)  Only if it’s really fit to my interests, I guess.

Do you watch music videos?  Rarely; not a fan of MVs in particular. I only really ever put an exception for BTS.

Have you ever watched a TV show on youtube?  Well no since their copyright team works hard and works fast lol. I do watch entire video game walkthroughs from time to time.

Have you ever worked out to exercise videos on youtube?  No, I can’t care less about working out tbh.

Have you watched Amanda Todd's famous video?  No. I’m scared that it might be too upsetting or triggering for me.

Have you ever looked up how to do something on YouTube?  Not really, I prefer looking up articles that can teach me step by step in words.

Do you get a lot of hate comments on youtube?  No, I’ve never posted anything on there.

How long have you been a youtuber?  Never been.

Instagram

Do you post on Instagram a lot?  I do 1-3 Instagram stories in a week, I would say. As for posts, I only have 4 in total and I don’t really feel the pressure to add more. I just post when I feel the want to.

Have you ever posted a poll on instagram?  Nah, I’m not too sure if anyone would participate so I’ve never tried. If you don't have an iPhone, do you wish you could use Instagram?  I’m pretty sure other operating systems can also use Instagram...

Do you have any followers?  Around 50, I think.

Do you like Instagram filters? I’ll use them sometimes to make my stories appear prettier.

Twitter

Do you think twitter is stupid? Hehe show me at least one person who doesn’t think so. < Coming from someone who regularly uses Twitter, agree. It is crazy stupid but stupid is what I’m there for. Which is honestly not always such a bad thing to me - I like that people are more themselves, more stripped-down, vulnerable on Twitter. People always seem to want to show off their best selves on Facebook and Instagram, so I’m actually kind of grateful that there is at least one social media out there where people can just be their clumsy, goofy selves.

How often do you tweet?  Probably a maximum of five a day. Nowadays I’m on there mostly to just scroll through my timelines.

Do you get on twitter every day?  Yes, both on my personal and fan account.

Bzoink

Do you make a lot of surveys?  I never make them but I try to take them as often as I can.

Do you take a lot of surveys?  Haha sorry, was one step ahead of you. Yeah, I do.

Do you post in the message boards?  Nah. I dunno if I’m even permitted to check the message boards on Bzoink considering I don’t have an account.

What types of surveys are your favorite?  Categorized surveys like this one or countdown ones can be fun, but at the end of the day I like sticking to the classic random survey.

Do you have friends on here?  Not on Bzoink, but here on Tumblr yes! There’s a number of people here I like keeping up with :)

Do you post all your secrets on here?  Again, not on Bzoink; but yep I share pretty much everything here.

What type of survey do you think I should make next?  Anything but basic/about me-themed ones that will ask for my name and eye color and weight.

Do you read peoples' answers to your surveys?  I’ve never made a survey.

Do you think you are good at making surveys? 

Do you try to make unique surveys?

What type of surveys do you want to see more of?

Random

This or That

Scattergories

Have You Ever

Are you like me?

About You

Personal, Deep Questions

Girly

Music shuffle

Would You Rather

Do you have this in your bedroom?

Long

Short

All About Your Crush

Fashion

Make-up

School

Music

Your health

Your friends

Confessions

Girl Confessions - how different is this from just confessions? Hahaha

R-Rated

Controversial topics

Myspace

Did you have a myspace when you were in high school?  I started an account in like 4th grade when Myspace was ~big, but I didn’t find it fun and everyone my age was on Friendster anyway, so I was largely inactive.

Do you use myspace now?  No. Is it still even around? I have no clue.

Do you miss bulletins? I didn’t get to join in on the fun so there’s nothing to miss.

Did you like customizing your profile with the old myspace?  Not attributed to Myspace but I did have a lot of fun customizing my Multiply and Tumblr accounts back in the day. That was a period where I really got to learn and play around with HTML :)

Did you have music on your profile?  Not on Myspace again but I did on Multiply! I had a cute little playlist that played the songs immediately as soon as you landed on my page hahaha.

Did you learn HTML when you used Myspace?  Tumblr, yeah. I believe the skills are still there but I’ll definitely be a bit rusty.

Did you have a customized cursor?  Oh, no. Wasn’t a fan of those as I found them a bit tacky.

Did you use glitter graphics?  Also found those tacky haha no, I never used those.

Do you remember posting glitter graphics on friends' pages?  Nope.

Did you make "dolls"?  I don’t recall ever making those.

Did you use photo captions?  Not sure what this is referring to so let’s just say no.

Did you have a photo slideshow on your profile?  Hmmm nope, I don’t think so.

Xanga

Did you have a Xanga account back in the day?  No. It wasn’t big here so I had never heard of it until I started taking surveys on here and heard people mentioning Xanga, actually.

Do you have a xanga account now?  No.

Did you post photos and quotes on your xanga page?  I never had any.

Snapchat

Do you use snapchat?  I did; I was superrrrr active on there for a time. It kind of just got old at one point, though, and my feed got more and more dead until I too just left my account dormant altogether.

What is your favorite filter?  There were a lot of cute ones on there that helped me be more confident with taking selfies but my favorites have to be the dog and flower crown ones.

Tumblr

Do you understand Tumblr?  I had a better handle of it when I ran a fan account that required me to be more active; but now that I really just go on here to take surveys I just use the basic functions and nothing more. But yeah, I understand just enough to get by.

Do you use Tumblr?  Yeah. Even on the days I don’t post surveys, I regularly go on here to keep up with friends I like keeping up with like Elisabeth, Lane, Steph, Lina, Julie :)

Other

What forum sites did you use to love that aren't around anymore?  There was one message board I frequented for this girly/tween magazine I used to collect, but I won’t share the name.

Are there any other great social media sites that you recommend?  I think this survey was able to cover all the main ones I use.

Do you use a photo editing site? If so, what?  I use apps instead of sites to edit my photos.

Do you ever use BeFunky.com?  Nope.

Do you use a video editing site? If so, what?  Nah, I rarely have to edit videos in a super intricate, detailed way. Apple’s video editing features suffice for me.

Have you ever downloaded fonts?  Very occasionally since it’s never necessary.

Have you ever used photobucket to upload an image?  No but I remember going on there back in the day to look for images. I never uploaded any, though.

Do you use iTunes?  Not anymore. I have an account on Spotify now.

Do you listen to music on Pandora?  No, never used it.

[radicalposture]

Hey, so were you diagnosed with autism/adhd as an adult? If you don't mind me asking, was that difficult to achieve? I'm 25, and I've often thought I might have adhd, but I've held off on looking into it because I hear it's extremely difficult and expensive to get it tested and diagnosed as an adult.

yes I only got diagnosed last october, I was 25 then too! it was kind of a weird journey for me, all of my siblings and my dad got diagnosed with autism or adhd one after the other and I was still saying “but I can’t really be autistic/adhd” right up until I actually got diagnosed lol. but since then my whole life suddenly makes sense for the first time and I really think things are gonna be ok! this applies to autism/adhd/other neurodiverse stuff but autism and adhd is what I know, but I hope it applies broadly as well

so unfortunately yes, it can be pretty expensive to get through the whole process. depends on where you live of course, I live in Ireland so even though we do have public healthcare I would probably have been on a waiting list for upwards of two years to see a terrible psychologist who didn’t know anything about adhd/autism so I went to a private psychologist. I already knew her pretty well bc my siblings had been to her and I knew she knew what she was talking about and I felt comfortable with her. seeing her cost me around €900 which is definitely a lot, different psychologists have different rates but the price can go up depending on what tests u get done. the more tests you do the more expensive it will be as a general rule (at the same time I saw a different psychologist who had a lower flat rate so idk what the “rules” are about this tbh) I got a standard assessment as well as autism and adhd tests which is why it was so expensive. it used up pretty much all my savings lmao but after getting a diagnosis I was able to apply for disability allowance (which was a hellish process) and I got rejected and had to appeal the decision but I got it in the end, which is fortunate bc I quit my job lol.

recently I wanted to look into medication so I had to go to a psychiatrist because you can’t get a prescription for stimulant medication from a gp in most countries I think? BUT he’d only see me if I got rediagnosed by his psychologist, so that was another €300 for each of them. I did get prescribed ritalin in the end but I’ll have to get the prescription refilled a few times a year bc it’s a restricted medication, which will mean paying €100 ish for each time I do. fortunately I don’t actually have to pay for the medication itself bc I have a medical card.

so yes, it can be expensive! all told it’s cost me almost €2000 to get it all sorted and will keep costing me maybe €300 a year from now on, so it’s definitely something you have to budget for. especially depending on where you live, I imagine things are v different from country to country. also I’m very fortunate bc I still live with my family so I’m free of some financial pressure and I’d been saving for it for a while but I know how hard it is to countenance paying out that kind of money, and wondering whether it’s worth it.

as to whether it’s difficult to achieve I think you’ve got to break it down because official diagnosis is only part of it. so if you think you do have ADHD I’d look at it from a couple of different angles:

1. self acceptance/understanding is absolutely the most important thing. I know people who’ve never been to a psych who know they’re autistic/adhd and really flourish, I also know people who have official diagnoses but who won’t accept it themselves and reject help/support and they’re making things so hard for themselves. so the most important thing is to educate yourself about what adhd means and, more importantly, what it means for you. everyone’s brain is different and understanding exactly how your brain works and why you think/behave the way you do is the most important thing you can do. there are a lot of resources out there, especially online, - I’ll put a link to a google drive of books and things I have at the bottom - and it can be good to connect with others online as well. having people who Get It and can help you is really paramount, I know often our irl families/friends can sometimes let us down so sometimes the only support you can get is from following ppl on twitter or something. the adhd subreddit is weirdly helpful and supportive, it’s great to be able to throw out a question like “I think like this am I insane y/n” and have other people go “nah ur fine” it’s very validating (also validation/external perspectives is super important for adhd bc we can be extremely bad at self assessment). so yes, the most important thing is firstly to know thyself by 1) educating yourself and 2) listening/connecting with others like u.

2. is it important to have an “official” diagnosis? no and yes. obviously you don’t need a diagnosis from a doctor to know what you are, and 70% of the things needed to help you flourish are going to come from your own research and the support systems you make. and if you cant afford or access a psychologist or psychiatrist it doesn’t make it any less real or bar you from educating yourself/accessing resources etc. HOWEVER. if you can get a good diagnosis then I really would go for it, bc: 1) it opens a LOT of doors to official resources, whether that’s access to welfare, supports and accommodations at school or college, medication, etc etc. a lot of the time the supports we need are behind this diagnostic paywall, which sucks but it is what it is :/ so that’s one consideration. 2) it can be really validating and help set your mind at ease about whether you “really” have adhd or if you’re “faking”. like I said I didn’t believe that I was “allowed” to be autistic before I got diagnosed. I also didn’t consider that I might have adhd, I went in thinking I’d just get the autism diagnosis so it wasn’t something I would have found out on my own probably. so it can be good to get an outside opinion, especially as, like I said, we can be really bad at self assessment. 3) it feels good to know you have a piece of paper to throw at rude family members/teachers/doctors who don’t believe it’s real 4) if you can find a good psychiatrist/psychologist it can be such a good thing to have that support and to get genuinely good advice from a professional you trust. doesn’t always happen but if u can find one it’s a godsend

wow this got long. to summarise, if you think you have adhd or anything else I would

research and educate yourself. for adhd probably the best thing to do is read driven to distraction and delivered from distraction, written by two psychiatrists who are adhd themselves. they’re both in this google drive along with loads of other resources I’ve collected, there’s also books about autism as well. as a disclaimer not everything/everyone here has my 100% endorsement some of it is there for academic/historical interest or only parts are helpful but by and large it’s useful. also watch this video and feel Seen

look for a good psychologist/psychiatrist if you’re going for a diagnosis. see if there’s an adhd organisation in your country/area and if they can recommend anyone. a lot of the time you’re better going to a child/educational psychologist who’ll see adult clients as they tend to Get It more. do look for someone who is clear about having experience in adult adhd bc unfortunately even qualified psychologists get a LOT wrong so make sure you get someone who knows what they’re doing before you give them your money

yes it can be really expensive. but if you’re needing to access things like medication or welfare I think it’s well worth the trouble and the money. my sister got diagnosed in her second year of college and was able to save her degree bc of extensions on projects and things like that (I didn’t get diagnosed until after college and spent four years torturing myself I WISH I had known) and it can be something that’s better done sooner rather than later. So if it’s something you can do without putting yourself in financial danger I think it’s good to bite the bullet and go for it. like I used up basically all my savings BUT I now can access disability payments and medication so it was worth it for me. it’ll be different for everyone so use your judgement obviously

anyway hope this helped! let me know if you need anything else! and good luck on your journey