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love-and-deepdives · 5 days ago

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At Last: A Missive on Caleb and MC's Slow Burn (AKA how No Return Night broke me 💀)

Here's the thing. I'm still not over No Return Night. And I may never be over it. It's insane to me how they crafted this intense, decades-long epic between these two characters, condensed it into what, maybe 8-12 hours of gameplay? Stretched out over 6 months perhaps, but still. And then they totally stuck the landing. For me, No Return Night came together beautifully and devastatingly, and my feelings require that I talk about how they did it because WHAT THE HELL INFOLD YOU CAN'T JUST BE OUT HERE RUINING PEOPLE LIKE THIS. (But also I appreciate it so much, thank you.)

[As per all my LaDS commentary posts, a disclaimer that this is JUST MY OPINION. Other interpretations of Caleb and MC's relationship are equally valid, but this is the internet and I get to yell things just like everyone else. Spoilers for No Return Night, but honestly, how could you not have seen it already?? TREAT YOURSELF.]

Part 1) They picked an amazing set up by grounding Caleb and MC's love story in real-life experiences.

Of all the LIs, Caleb's romantic trope is arguably the most down-to-earth and that works very strongly in its favor. Whether you choose to interpret Caleb as a childhood best friend or as a kind of foster-sibling (my Americanized, not-nearly-as-good version of "gege"), the overall feeling of deep familiarity and care that comes with those roles is something a lot of people experience or want to experience. Maybe some folks have lovers from their past lives return to them again and again, we can't be sure, but it's a truth universally acknowledged that most people have had (or at least wanted to have) childhood best friends, forbidden or unrequited loves, or just someone who cared for them deeply growing up, who made them feel safe. Therefore that connection with Caleb when he's introduced is immediate in many players, myself included. He's always been there for you and taken care of you and there's nothing else to explain about it, like how you met him on a beach as a child or made a soul bond in a past life. Not that I don't love those backstories (I adore them), but their foundation is mostly fictional. With Caleb, for lots of players, the foundation is not just our imagination but our actual life experience, and that carries a lot of weight. Weight that InFold writers then use to emotionally beat us to death.

Part 2) The intersecting storytelling that built up to No Return Night was both heavy-handed AND nuanced, and somehow it worked.

When Caleb's birthday event debuted, I'd been playing LADS for a little over two months, and had been watching Caleb and MC's romance even less than that, considering he gets unlocked later in the story. And yet when I first saw the trailer, it felt like I had been waiting literal years for that kiss, for THE Kiss, to happen.

(Pictured: The last thing I saw moments before blacking out from FEELING TOO MANY FEELINGS.)

It wasn't until after I stopped screaming and my brain rebooted that I fully appreciated the work the writers put in to make a few months worth of tension feel like the lifetime it was in game.

Many of Caleb's Tender Moments are set in or about the past, moreso than any of the other LIs, but at first I just chalked that up to it being Caleb's narrative "theme." I even started to get annoyed with the constant references to his and MC's past in like ALL of their dialogue (Me: "I swear if he says 'back then' or 'when we were kids' ONE MORE TIME 😤"), though I eventually got over it. But after his birthday card, I understood the vision.

From every angle, at all times, the writers persistently made you feel that history between Caleb and MC. Those memories from the past were there to complement and emphasize what was set in the present, which smarter people than I probably realized right away. While I was all "YES, I GET IT, THEY GREW UP TOGETHER," part of my brain was bolstering the connections between those past memories and Caleb's present day behavior: his facial expressions (the way his eyes fly open when MC kisses his eyebrow in Farspace Deprivation), body language (the way he folds in on himself after wanting to kiss her SO BAD in Hidden Waves 🫠😭), and tone of voice (literally any time Caleb opens his mouth, like every word he says to MC is dripping with that longing). Combined with even more references and scenes from their past in other memories, phone calls, posts, and texts (how they used to skip class together, how they played pranks on each other, how Caleb, uh, took pictures of her... while she was sleeping... 👀), all of it was consciously and unconsciously building that tension. Even when I thought I knew how invested I was, it wasn't until I saw the culmination of all that yearning that I understood how much the writers had gotten me in my feelings about these two, more than I ever realized until I watched No Return Night's trailer and had a full-on, certified, bonafide breakdown.

(Pictured: My first attempt at watching the No Return Night trailer. I had to stop halfway through to force myself to breathe properly.)

Part 3) The writers absolutely understood the assignment when it came to showing the release of that earth-shattering tension.

Let the record show that my breakdown was fully consensual. I wanted that kiss to destroy my psyche and leave me catatonic with joy, as did many others. I'm active on the official subreddit where there were some less-mentally-unwell players who thought it was fine if Floating Floraletter was the first kiss between Caleb and MC. And then there was me, who was ready to throw metaphorical hands if that turned out to be the case.

To be fair, I can respect the opinion that the kiss didn't have to be monumental, even if I disagree. Caleb is a more disciplined man than most, a soldier and a colonel, and realistically (I could be wrong, hard to tell, I only date virtual men) I don't think this level of intensity happens very often among adults...

However, THIS IS A MOBILE GAME AND REALISM IS FOR SUCKERS.

Caleb is constantly grabbing MC, pulling her to him, borderline stalking her, begging her not to leave and to stay with him for literally one hundred years, wanting to be her goddamn toothbrush, and at the time of the No Return Night, he had been running on those fumes for over a DECADE. Brief, tree-obscured smooches were not going to cut it. I needed to FEEL that shit. Yes, theoretically, that first kiss could be some sweet, relatively chaste moment in a boat somewhere, but the more likely scenario imho is kissing so hard that you fall off the sofa and then you """make out""" (🙄) on the floor for FIVE HOURS STRAIGHT.

(Pictured: A man who definitely wasn't getting his fuck on mere moments ago.)

For me, emotionally, No Return Night was near perfect. You could see from the trailer that the devs knew what they were doing: referencing all the waist grabs and longing looks from previous memories. That part where Caleb grabs MC's wrist, pauses, and then he pulls her and you just KNOW that right then that he's finally decided. There's no more guilt, no more hesitation, that man pulls her into his lap. There's no more longing in those eyes, only determination. Things WILL be different, starting tonight.

While I do have small critiques about the translation and MC's execution, I have none whatsoever about the buildup and framing of that moment. Unrequited love can be extraordinarily painful. If you're playing self-insert or even if you're just someone who feels things in that deep way, you recognize what that would be like to finally connect with that person for whom you have been starving for SO long. It might be slow, it might be tender, but it would HURT. In a good way though. And I love that the writers leaned into that fantasy and took it seriously.

(Pictured: "And here we are in Heaven, for you are mine. At last.")

TL;DR: No Return Night was a great ending to a masterful piece of interconnected storytelling that created years worth of depth in a short amount of time. The writers showed so much commitment to and respect for depicting a complex relationship, and their willingness to let those emotions culminate with the intensity they deserved was incredible. I'm going to continue to unpack SO MANY FEELINGS rewatching this card while regularly running back to Zayne for emotional stability (I still love you the most, my secure attachment king.)

I'm not interested in getting married (FINALLY a banner to skip), but after Floating Floraletter teasing us and No Return Night finally making it official, I cannot wait to see more cards of Caleb and MC together in an actual romantic relationship. I look forward to seeing how they're going to interact now that the longing is finally at an end... well, that version of the longing. I'm sure Caleb will find other ways to pine for MC, that man is BUILT TO YEARN.

Also he's just built, jfc.

Credit: Flat-Seaweed757

#a man who yearns is a man who earns #any excuse to post those abs my god #and those veins ARE YOU KIDDING ME RN #mc is an idiot for waiting as long as she did #lads #lnds #l&ds #love and deepspace #lads caleb #love and deepspace caleb #caleb x mc #l&ds caleb #lads analysis #lads commentary #caleb xia #no return night #lnds caleb #caleb lads #caleb love and deepspace

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contraryclock · 10 months ago

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stupid ass Don Quixote ramblings

hi this is my first tumblr post but i really wanted a good place to put this

spoilers for all of current limbus company, including Murder on the warp Express, the Don Quixote book (( kinda )), and a musical (( i'll get there ))

please humor this deranged rant about a character i havent read the source book of

so basically ive had a theory since Don was even teased that she's less so based on book Don Quixote and moreso based on the Man of La Mancha musical which is. an insane thing to suggest but hear me out here (( ive since changed how i word my stance to the much more mild "it will most likely delve into the themes of both works and reference both" because suggesting they would discount the book entirely is TRUE insanity ))

her quote (( from teaser tweets that i cannot find anymore? they seem like they were deleted which sucks )) was "To reach the unreachable star!" or something which is notably not a quote from the original book ((as far as im aware at least?)), and suggests. a lot i think!

One of the most notable differences between Man of La Mancha and the original Don Quixote is their tone and attitude towards Quixote. In the original text, he's shown to be a fool who is ignorant to the vastly more interesting world around him, and prefers to instead sink deeper into his delusions of reality equating to chivalric literature. This makes sense as Don Quixote was written as a parody and mockery of the genre

La Mancha is, notably, much more forgiving on Quixote's character, showing that while still a fool, and his insanity often detrimental to those around him, he is still a good person at heart and that he truly wishes to pursue this justice he posits

I usually say it as "Don Quixote is about how reality is beautiful, and La Mancha is about how sometimes one should strive to make reality a little more fantastical" although i dont know if that. is the most accurate comparison. both Don Quixote and La Mancha have a lot of themes and stuff going on

one of the things that made me scream was learning about "Miguel" being written on don's LCB combat spritesheet instead of her listed name

which if you've seen or read a summary of la mancha is a huge alarm bell

In La Mancha, the whole thing is shown as a Play within a Play

Miguel de Cerventes is sent to prison, awaiting trial by the inquisition, and is tasked with defending himself in a mock trial with the other prisoners so they dont take his belongings. His defense is Don Quixote, Man of La Mancha! With the prisoners acting out the various roles he assigns them, and him acting as the leading man, Don Quixote himself!

that was most of the things that made me think "Oh, maybe it'll be La Mancha!" and then this happened

and i sort of lost my god damned mind

because like what if this is miguel... what if shes simultaneously playing out her life as don quixote as a her delusion, and as her dream, but also as a statement...

idk but this isnt JUST about Man of La Mancha bc i think this has a few implications for how don's canto is going to go

In both don quixote and la mancha, they send someone to cure quixote of his delusions

The final thing they try is setting up an act where a "Knight of Mirrors" duels with Quixote, which ends up working.

The Knight forces Quixote to see how he is perceived by others, to see the truth that he is no knight.

ignoring the stuff with vampires and mirrors for a second, i feel like this could be more mirror world shenanigans, where either the knight IS a mirror world don quixote, or is someone who will show her mirror worlds. Whatever that will imply!!! i dont know its exciting!!!!!

Her being absurdly old and powerful, plus bloodfiends having a whole familial adjacent hierarchy makes me think theres a LOT of bloodfiends out there that would want her back

I dunno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im insane!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! i just wanted to get my thoughts out before her canto actually happened so i can say that i did indeed have an opinion on this

-limbus assets taken form Lunartique's asset google drive go look at it -text written by me and not proofread

ok thanks bye dont follow me byeee byeeeeee

#limbus company #don quixote #limbus spoilers #project moon #ramblings #if her name ends up being confirmed as Miguel i will cry so loudly in a joyous chorus of crying loudly #forgive me #fan theory #limbus don quixote #lcb

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ooooo-mcyt · 9 months ago

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I do think Scar forgives more easily than Grian does (like in general, but this post will mostly talk about forgiveness toward each other and themselves)

There's never been a time where I felt like Scar really held onto something Grian did to him, especially not between seasons. This doesn't mean Scar's a doormat by any means, but I do think he's good at understanding and moving past things pretty quickly, especially when it's Grian.

Grian is the exact opposite. I honestly don't think he fully got over Scar's brief betrayal in Thirdlife until, like, Secretlife, and even more than he struggles to forgive Scar, Grian struggles to forgive himself for things. That's just who Grian is, he overthinks and holds on to things.

You could argue (and i've seen people who do take this stance) that Scar letting things go more easily is a weakness, that it just gets him hurt. But to me, I don't really see that. Scar isn't stupid, he knows how to stand up for himself, he doesn't forgive Grian out of naivety, or because he's been tragically tricked into doing so. Scar forgives Grian because he has a lot of strength of character.

On the other end, people take Grian's tendency to hold onto things as cruelty, which it isn't. Sometimes it does lead to him acting out in destructive ways, I can't deny that. But letting go of hurt is easier said than done, and I think it's very human for wounds to fester, especially in a world where you have to fight to survive. I also think people too often forget that Grian is as unforgiving of himself as he is of anyone else (probably moreso, honestly).

And it's a part of their dynamic that drives me insane, that Scar makes the choice to understand and move past things, to see the good, while Grian often gets caught up in the feeling that nobody can be forgiven, least of all himself.

#trafficblr #traffic smp #grian #goodtimeswithscar #desert duo #it's a traffic jam

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fright-of-their-lives · 5 months ago

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I want you to talk about Lydia and Charles and their relationship.

If you want

Wow, I have NOT been on this blog in years and this has been sitting in my asks for a REALLY long time

So without further ado (for the maybe 3 people who still care), here's my long ass post about

Lydia and Charles Deetz, and why their relationship is the emotional crux of the entire show

I've said it before, but I want to reiterate that of all the characters in the show that she meets (Beetlejuice, The Maitlands, Delia), Lydia's most important relationship is the one that she has with her father, Charles. And this relationship serves as the emotional crux of the story, and is crucial in Lydia's development and eventual embrace of life at the end of the show.

I'm going to start off at the very beginning, with Lydia singing "Invisible" at Emily's funeral. The priest speaks some very important lines that get overlooked, but actually give us the main theme of the entire show.

In times like these we have no words, we have only each other/Scripture tell us "sorrow not, for we do not walk alone"

Of course, the "we do not walk alone" line is a direct reference to the fact that this is a show about death and ghosts, but it has a very clever secondary meaning that directly contrast with Lydia's feelings of isolation and loneliness expressed in "Invisible". She feels unseen, invisible in her grief for her mother, that people just look away when they're unsure of what to say or do.

Grownups wanna fix things, when they cant it only fills them with shame/So they just look away

Lydia turns to Charles when she sings this line, and he promptly does just that: he turns away. He cant face her in this moment, furthering Lydia's feelings. She feels alone, abandoned in her grief for her dead mother. Wanting desperately to be seen. But even though she doesnt specify by who, we know exactly who she wants and needs this acknowledgement from. And it's the only other person who knows and understands the grief she's feeling: her father, Charles.

Lydia isnt just grieving the death of her mother, but also the loss of her father. He's abandoned her, gotten a new fiance, and just supposedly just forgotten all about his dead wife, and wants Lydia to do the same.

'Cause Daddy's in Denial, Daddy doesnt wanna feel/He wants me to smile and clap like a performing seal

Daddy's moving forward, Daddy didnt lose a mom

No more playing daddy's game, I'll go insane if things dont change/Whatever it takes to make him say your name, Dead Mom

The song may be titled Dead Mom, but the song itself focuses just as much, if not more, on Charles. Lydia's moreso ranting here, expressing her anger and vulnerability in a way that she cant with her dad. The whole reason she sings "Dead Mom" is because in the scene right before, her attempts to get him to open up and talk about Emily get shot down. And at the end of the song, Lydia declares her intentions, to get her dad to finally talk to her, talk about her mom, by any means necessary.

Which is where the Maitlands come in.

While Lydia is excited by the existence of ghosts and by the prospect that her mother might be a ghost as well, her primary goal isnt just seeing her mother again. It's getting her dad to see and believe in ghosts as well.

"Your dad cant see us"

"He doesnt see me either"

Lydia wants, above all else, to be seen by her dad. And she belives that this will finally open his eyes, to get her what she's so desperately wanted since her mother's death: to have her family whole again. Both mother AND father.

Which is why the reveal of Charles and Delia's engagement breaks her. To her, Charles has not just forgotten all about her mother, but about their entire family. A family that Lydia desperately misses and needs at a time like this. But Charles is seemingly moving on, ready to discard the past. To discard their family. Discard her.

And it breaks her. It breaks her that her father may not care about her. And while its not true, those feelings are what drives her to climb onto the roof, feeling more alone and abandoned than ever...

But Lydia isnt the only one feeling alone.

Charles himself is very clearly taking things just as hard as Lydia is when it came to Emily's death, abeit in a completely different way. While Lydia throws herself into the macabe and gothic, wading dangerously deeper into grief and despair, Charles chooses to turn away from his own grief and throw himself into what he knows and where he's most confident: his work (if you havent, please listen to the demo track "A little more of your time", it gives us such good insight into Charles' character, idc that its not in the show).

Charles is not a man that handles chaos and uncertaintly well, and even admits that he struggles with expressing his feelings and being vulnerable. And from what we know about Emily, she was the exact opposite.

Mama was positive, Mama was pure/Made me less dark, and dad less insecure

Charles' facade of being the "Big Successful Business Man" is there to hide his anxiety and insecurities, and nothing makes him more insecure than his role as a father to Lydia. Charles is a provider, it's what he knows and is good at. It's why he does things like moving them into a new house, getting her a "life coach", trying to get her to act more positive and happy. Yes, a big part of it is him avoiding his own grief, but in his own way, Charles is showing how much he loves and cares for Lydia. He wants her to be happy and healthy, but without Emily as the bridge between them, his way of going about it completely miss the mark. He feels alone, which is part of why he begins his relationship with Delia. When Charles felt like him entire world had crashed around him, Delia is what anchors him again, and gives him the support he needs to mmove forward, both him and Lydia. Unfortunately, things dont work out how he planned, and the wedge between him and his daughter only ends up widening.

Which is why we have the The Netherworld/Home scene.

Lydia is completely at her lowest, most vulnerable point in the show here. Her desire to reunite with her mother again leads her to a desperate goose chase through the netherworld, screaming helplessly for her mother like the lost little girl she is. She's all on her own, lost not just in an unfamiliar place, but in life general.

And the person that comes to find her, that jumped without hesitation right into hell with her?

Charles does. Her dad jumps right into the unknown after her, and finds her when she's lost. And they both finally open up to each other, to not just express their grief, but to share it with the person who knows exactly what they're going through and can help them get through the pain, the loss, and the sorrow.

Sorrow not, for we do not walk alone

#my first post on this blog in years #and it was a long time coming #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice #lydia deetz #charles deetz #bjtm #long post #like a whole damn essay #bear talks

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moonstruckdraws · 2 months ago

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I just read

The Will to Die The Need to Survive by @katerinaaqu

Trigger warning there are themes of SA and suicide in it

So be mindful please since this post will be talking about said themes, moreso the latter

It’s about Odysseus when he’s on Calypso’s island and I found it to be incredibly well written (despite not reading the Odyssey but I have free time now :D)

I've never done an analysis post, but I've definitely made posts of describing details and symbols in my art or friend's art before. Plus I write essays a lot- so this will be fun for me to try

(Also this is a really really long post)

I would have reblogged the post, but I am quite the anxious bean—I get nervous enough when I ramble about the gods or at all—and the themes aren’t stuff I’ve ever even put into my posts, so I hope you’ll forgive that.

(Comments I made already:) I’ve read a few books like Frankenstein and basically had to compare them so I could write a full essay but I won’t- (i am now lol) but the reason I bring up Frankenstein is because of the breakdowns you wrote. Victor and his creation both have this emotional spirals of depression and pain and agony where they cry out for it to end and I see it in Odysseus here. I also love the disconnect of his will to live versus his body’s instincts. His self preservation is so high in his body’s despite him craving that darkness which I can relate to. Him also initiating Calypso is so well done to me too! That he’d rather engage in pain than ponder what is plausible; that his worst fears are happening or would happen by the time he got home if he ever did. His will is cracking and he can’t go on with this trauma but he can’t take that step; he simply is physically unable. The fact that he feels the need to be ended by someone else’s hand is so profound. He literally cannot end himself and needs someone else’s to do it, there is nothing more helpless in situations like these. I have never ventured that dark but I imagine this is accurate to people who’ve made multiple attempts on their life and just couldn’t go through with it because their bodies couldn’t stand it. Honestly, it makes me only wonder if he’d go through with being killed by the gods if they heard his cries. Would be sit in comply or struggle even if it’s the same result? Would he plea for his life in that moment? Would he take his word back? Would he run? He’s clearly not weak but he is damaged greatly, so much so that he’s mechanical. And if he did think of those thoughts he refused to hear, where would he be? Would he truly go insane? Would he finally break that bridge and try to embrace Calypso? How much more would it all take? How much is too much too long? Or in reference to Victor Frankenstein, when have you gone too far? Like I said, I could go on and on about comparing the novel to your writing here, but I don’t think I should flood your comment section like that… but if I make a post… maybe

And that’s what this post is gonna be:

———

"I passed the night wretchedly. Sometimes my pulse beat so quickly and hardly that I felt the palpitation of every artery; at others, I nearly sank to the ground through languor and extreme weakness. Mingled with this horror, I felt the bitterness of disappointment; dreams that had been my food and pleasant rest for so long a space were now become a hell to me; and the change was so rapid, the overthrow so complete! - Frankenstein Chapter 5: pg. 57

This is a paragraph from Frankenstein made by Victor Frankenstein the night his creation came to life. He had ran out of the house in horror and basically slept in the dirt of the courtyard to hide from it. This is the emotional expression that I found in katerinaaqu's writing of Odysseus. It's that dread and use of metaphors that make a seemingly simple paragraph feel so packed with emotion.

He had forgotten how it felt being happy. It was as if gladness and happiness were drained from his world; covered with a thick, black curtain of suffering. That was what Odysseus was thinking as he was slowly stirring awake. He had somehow fallen half-asleep, leaning against the rock at the beach. It was his small hideout, where he would sit and cry, looking towards the sea. He was once more exhausted by the tears that never seemed to drain from his eyes. [...] His previous will seemed totally lost under the burn marks to the edge of his eyelids caused from his own tears. His onyx eyes that used to burn with the fire of survival; like a wild beast in a cage that would growl and move about its prison, constantly trying to find an opening; a change to its situation, now those eyes of his were dead like scratched and faded glass - The Will to Die The Need to Survive

I found these parts of the first two paragraphs as the best comparison to the prior passage I put from Frankenstein. It's that instant sense of helplessness that hits deep in the depths of their emotions. You'll see me compare Odysseus to Victor and his creation a lot, but Victor and Odysseus are both burden with regret in these moments, though for different reasons. The two of them hold different views of accountability here. Odysseus poisons himself in self-loathing and pain of the death of all of his crew; the loss so big he cries endlessly. Victor, as we know he's an unreliable narrator, puts no blame on himself. He finds his choice to reanimate life as foolish and sinful, but does not take responsibility for his own creation and puts all the blame on the creature while claiming innocence.

It's interesting that Victor's refusal of taking accountability (or even trying to do something as he just lets his creation be someone else's problem) only causes his mental health to worsen as he's plagued with fear of what he unleashed upon the world. Whereas Odysseus's fall was a break of his will, his valiant efforts to avoid Calypso's advancements only to start bending to them. One tries, the other doesn't, and that is so fascinating to me that they both crash regardless.

Going forward, please be aware that I do not know Odysseus. I just know of the overall journey back home but I came from Epic the Musical fandom and am aware of the inaccuracies within it since I looked up what happens in the Odyssey out of my own curiosity (like Circe, the sirens, Calypso as a whole). And aside from reading a handful of posts from katerinaaqu and a few google searched articles from back in November, I know absolutely nothing of his character. All of this analysis is basic on the works being compared and written about here. So I can't accurately speak on how I think Odysseus thinks or operates, or how he might view someone like Victor if I were to ponder it here like I could do if the sides were switched.

Victor, in my opinion and experience of reading, is irresponsible. He'd rather not deal with problems with high stakes, especially those he causes. He doesn't tell anyone what he's done or warns them, and in the end everyone he knows dies. Only when he loses everything does he dedicate the rest of his life trying to take down his creation, but all those years prior, he did nothing. If put into Odysseus's shoes of being on Calypso's island, I believe he would give up. He would give up on getting home after a few months to a few years because it's the easiest thing to do. He pushes away his problems and paints over blood with gold to cover it up; he'd block out the thoughts of his family and embrace Calypso. Though I feel like he'd do the same thing Odysseus did here in shutting Calypso up when speaking of his family. How Odysseus would fair in Victor's situation I don't know, but be interested in concepts of it.

He isn't incapable of going against those who threatens him, seeing as he destroys what would have been his creation's wife before him. However, he is mentally unhealthy. He is going crazy, and in this part of Frankenstein, he believes it will all be better—that it will all be happier—when he marries Elizabeth. And then she is killed the night of their wedding, which is what makes him feel like he has nothing left to lose. Which leads to his dedication to hunting his creature down until his dying breath. If Victor was faced by a goddess, which he can never kill (plus the fact he is not experienced in combat even comparable to Odysseus), he is just stuck. He pushes his problems away instead is how he deals with things. To be embraced with eternal love is something he'd take. He would become immortal if offered. He does have a bit of a god-complex with him pursuing to reanimate life for his own desire. He ignored his family for two years, just working on this project of his, because of the glory and pleasure of recognition and greatness he could achieve. So to me, he would give into Calypso in a few months (over a year is a bit generous to me). At most, the mental weight of being away from his loved ones would break him down, but not to the level of wanting to take his life like Odysseus.

"Please... Stop withering away like that... I understand that you miss your home, who wouldn't, but at this point you know that it will only hurt you more." - Calypso - The Will to Die The Need to Survive

This part of the writing would be enough for Victor to at least consider that Calypso is right, leading him to let go and forget. He could wither away from his mental health, but if Calypso is patient enough, she could bring him back like Henry did in Frankenstein. In my mind, he'd be able to do the one thing Odysseus can't, let it all go. Or push it so far out of mind that it only attacks him at his weakest, only to be swept back up in Calypso's arms.

The two of them also have strong self-preservation. Odysseus curses his body's desire to survive despite his will's wish for death. He cannot seem to escape as everything, in some sense, is a betrayal. His self-prompted promise of making it home as an honor to his men goes against his current will to die. His weakening struggle against Calypso goes against his desire to see his home and family—to return to an embrace he loves and not one he's conditioned into. His inability to end it all goes against himself, in this being—in his mind—his only way out, and calls himself a coward for not taking that step. Insane for reaching out when he slips and crazy for his body to say thank gods that Calypso was there.

He looked behind. He had nearly fallen off! And his body had doubled over in fear! His knees were still shaking; cold sweat adorned his forehead. Cursed instinct! Cursed need to live! How pitiful living beings were! He hadn't been so close to death for years before and this was such a sudden experience! [...] His soul and heart were screaming; why did you save me! Why didn't you let me fall! And yet his body was saying; thank all gods she caught me! Thank gods I didn't fall.. The emotions were too much for him to bear... - The Will to Die The Need to Survive

I find this portion of the katerinaaqu's writing to be absolutely brilliant. A perfect display of how his mind and body are thinking two different things. He is being betrayed by so many of his decisions, yet his biggest one in this moment is his body. His "cursed need to live" is like the bane of his existence in this time of his life. He is so worn out, he can't go on, he is being pulled in multiple directions—it is all so twisted and exhausting and confusing for him. And while I he shares a his self-preservation with Victor, I feel like he aligns more with Frankenstein's creature in struggles. But the lines, "Cursed need to live! How pitiful living beings were!" is similar to this passage in Frankenstein to me:

Alas! Why does man boast of sensibilities superior to those apparent in the brute; it only renders them more necessary beings. If our impulses were confined to hunger, thirst, and desire, we might be nearly free; but now we are moved by every wind that blows and a chance word or scene that that word may convey to us. - Frankenstein Chapter 10: pg. 93

I can't articulate what speaks out to me about how these connect, but it's there.

"Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it." - Frankenstein's creature - Frankenstein Chapter 10: pg. 95

This is when the creature first shows up to Victor in the mountains. It's ironic that the one born of suffering is the one who valued staying alive the most (in this moment) than the other two that start wishing for death due to their suffering.

Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly bestowed? I know not; despair had not yet taken possession of me; my feelings were those of rage and revenge. - Frankenstein's creature - Frankenstein Chapter 16: pg.

This occurs right after the cottagers drive the creature out of their home upon discovering him. Its early life is so somber in how he never got to experience it. The creature thinks of ending his life twice: in this moment, and then after Victor's death. This sorrow in this moment is most similar to Odysseus to me.

Both of them are still alive despite what their wills are saying, and while the creature doesn't curse himself for staying alive, he does curse his existence. His own life is unlivable like how Odysseus thinks his life is also unlivable. Both of them can only take on so much pain before cracking under.

Alright, enough with the comparing and contrasting, onto the more fun part for me.

I love the way Odysseus acts with Calypso in this. The mechanical movements to the use of tactics to get her to steer away from certain subjects. Honestly, I can imagine that Odysseus would've or used to do this a lot, in the sense that he'd use Calypso's love for him to predict what she'd do and say to try and avoid it. Maybe it worked for a short time, then it worked but she'd steer back to her original intentions, and the maybe it only ever worked on some days. Maybe it was due to his will breaking, or maybe the repetition broke down his will first.

His mood was getting harder and harder to comprehend, she realized. The past weeks he would come back more and more exhausted. Despite the fact she tried to relieve him off many things, he seemed to be withering away. He didn't seem sick or ill. Just sad. - The Will to Die The Need to Survive

I can't help but wonder what Calypso would do if she fully broke Odysseus. I say "fully broke"—despite him wishing for death and for once giving into her desires (though it was to make her shut up)—as in making him let go of everything. The only way for him to fully embrace Calypso is for Odysseus to let go of his family, his friends' and their deaths, the promises he placed upon himself, and all the love he's ever held for anyone.

And it just isn't something Odysseus can do. Not without being someone else, or be a fully emotionless being that just goes through the motions. It's similar to how he is here, but a fully broken Odysseus probably wouldn't care if he initiated Calypso like he does in this writing.

"Anything...! I'll do anything as long as you shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Stop badmouthing my home...my wife and son... Please no more...! Stop it! Or rather, be silent altogether! I don't want to hear your voice anymore! No! Not anymore...!" - The Will to Die The Need to Survive

The fact that Odysseus would do anything to not hear Calypso talk about his home is so real to me. He isn't doing it exclusively because she's badmouthing everything he has left to care about, but because he is avoiding thinking these thoughts themselves. That the words she says are entirely in the realms of possibility, and are only becoming more possible as the years go by. His family is growing up and old without him. His family is moving on without him. Things are moving forward, going great, doing amazing—all without him. The thought that if he ever made it home only to find that he has no place in his home or his family's hearts could kill him. Because if all of that was true, what would he do? He'd have to ask that question, that possibility.

Would he stay in Ithaca? Would he move far away? Would he find love again? Could he ever be capable of marrying another woman without feeling sick that it wasn't Penelope? Would he ever possibly have children and not think that he wasted missing the life of his first son? Would he cry if it was another son he'd have? If he had a daughter, would he cry that she doesn't look like Penelope?

Would he regret leaving Calypso's island?

All of thoughts are too big to think about without a part of him dying, especially the last. The thought that after all this time, he'd ever have thoughts of regret in regards to not being with Calypso would pierce him like a spear. That all this fighting and resisting to stay true to his love was pointless as everyone else has moved on would be claiming insanity to him. That admitting Calypso is right. That he should have stopped thinking about his family and home, that it only caused more pain. He would not be able to bare it, to entertain it.

And so he did what he thought would shut her up, even if he regretted it after.

"Why gods! Why...! Why...! Just...release me already! I paid all years of Troy with years of my life! No more...please...!" [...] "Gods! Men of my age die...! Why! Why! Just let me die...let me be done with this! I don't care anymore how...just finish it already!" As usual his silent prayer fell in silent ears. Never before his arduous trip had he felt more abandoned, more alone, than what he was feeling now... - The Will to Die The Need to Survive

THIS right here is my favorite part of katerinaaqu's writing. I adore this so much as it give me the most questions about Odysseus and thoughts about him. The fact he calls for the GODS to end his life—I can't explain it why it grapples me so much!

"GODS!" he yelled to the heavens, "PLEASE! JUST TAKE MY LIFE ALREADY!" His voice was being once more carried away by the winds. "ATHENA! HERMES! ZEUS! Someone! SOMEONE! Please" He collapsed on his knees sobbing. "Someone...I beg of you end me already! Take my life! Please...!" - The Will to Die The Need to Survive

He can't bring himself to take that final step, because his body won't allow it. He can't end his own life, so he calls out to the gods multiple times. He has tried pleading with the literal gods.. to kill him.. because he can't do it himself. It makes me wonder what else has he tried if he has? To me, it all seems futile, as he never is able to commit to it. Has he tried not eating or drinking? Seeing as it's impossible to do it now with Calypso hanging over his shoulder, and that she'd keep him alive if he tried that. Plus I doubt he'd be able to go through starvation, the pain being too great. He'd want a swift end, and even then he can't commit to it. If a boulder were to fall on top of him just by circumstances, he'd move out of the way, even if his feet were chained to the ground. His body's will to live is just that strong and he despises it. So much so he feels as though only divinity can let him rest now.

He even almost asks Calypso to end his life and has made thoughts of making her angry enough to enact punishment upon him that would kill him. And if he did manage to ask that of her—she'd never do it of course—it'd make his life so much worse as she'd likely never leave his side. How much more can he suffer? How much longer? How much is too much too long? I can only wonder what would happen if he went on so much longer. And faced by the gods to answer his pleas, would he even go through with it?

"I can't..."he mumbled, "I can't anymore...how...how can a person take so much?" - The Will to Die The Need to Survive

He'd run, he'd struggle, he'd survive. Despite himself, he'd survive. It's his body against his mind, and every time when it comes it his life, his body will always win.

"Woe is me..." he mumbled in realization, "My soul that wishes release is trapped in a body that needs to survive!" - The Will to Die The Need to Survive

---

I just adore katerinaaqu's writing here, and with free time on my hands now, I'll have to find a place to read other works! This is Part 4 of her story "Survivor's Guilt and Survivor's Duty" all relating to Odysseus if interested. And these are:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

of the story mentioned prior. I'll be excited to read the other two when I get the chance. (The third part was just the one to be on my feed so-). I'd recommend reading them if interested or reading other posts by katerinaaqu as she makes posts about mythology (and can translate the text herself which is really cool :0)

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always-just-down-the-street · 7 months ago

Text

Misremembered Lanes Timeline (Pt. 1): During the Show

Alright, everyone, it is time for that Misremembered Lanes timeline I was talking about! Now, this is gonna be split up into two pieces since...I don't have the post-show/Box and Suitcase stuff yet, all of this was kinda just spitballed with the help of the creator of @inanimate-reboots, I recommend you really check them out, they're a sick AU and the owner's a good friend! Anyway, so, Part 1, all stuff that happens during Season 2 and 3 because like I mentioned, Season 1 is basically unchanged.

ALSO THIS POST IS GONNA BE LIKE SUPER LONG SO GET READY FOR THE LONG HAUL.

First, some ground rules, more or less setting how OJ and Taco will act in a more general sense without going episode-by-episode for two whole seasons.

General Changes to Characterization

OJ is a lot more antagonistic whenever he appears for reasons discussed in my last Misremembered Lanes post- he is struggling with feelings of lack of control that he cannot explain to himself, being more commanding in Everything's A-OJ and, while he's still a good person, he can tend to get a bit lost in his own head.

Taco, in exchange, is a lot more...I don't wanna say sympathetic- she's less evil because she wants to be and more because she feels like she has to be. Her intent to stop the show to save everyone forms way sooner than before Season 3, even if she only gives it up in a moment of weakness to Mic. Ever since she lost, she's just felt...off. Ever since she's lost in Season 1 she's felt off, and it's been chaining her to this show like a ball and chain.

So, in her mind, the only way to stop the feeling...is to stop the show. So she doesn't feel like this anymore, so nobody else has to feel like her, end up like her, whatever that means. Ironically, this means she feels aimless but realized her endgame way sooner than in canon. Truth or Flare is just when she gets desperate enough to physically intervene because they're so. close.

She's tried to leave the show but she can't, something inside of her that's been there since the finale won't let her. She has to be in the show, but this is the only role she can have after what she did. She doesn't even really know why she did it, she just felt so…wronged after losing, such anger she'd never really felt before, it should have been her, it should have been her-

…and then she blacked out. And she woke up the villain.

I'll get more into how the swap functions in their minds in a bit, but there is one thing I wanna tackle before I get into the II2 finale, and that is:

Season 3

I'd like to think OJ would actually love the idea of being in Season 3, as opposed to his canon counterpart- instead of focusing on the hotel and focusing on how everyone else is doing, he takes Invitational as a way to prove Season 1 wasn't a fluke, that he does earn his keep, that he is as good as he says he is.

But then...he does lose. And as Silver Spoon boasts about being the one to dethrone the king of Inanimate Insanity, something within OJ snaps. His original programming, come to roost. For a moment everyone sees a side of OJ that is frankly terrifying, even to Silver Spoon- especially since it mostly comes out through screaming in the silverware's face. He is furious in a way he's never been before, in a way that makes his earlier fight with Paintbrush look tame.

And then...he snaps back, looking at himself in shock before MePhone quickly gets him knocked out before things get any worse. The show must go on, after all...

OJ goes back to the hotel and pretends Season 3 never happened, sliding into denial...sort of because of his loss, but moreso the fallout of it. The person he became for a moment, the anger he felt inside of him. Best to just pretend it never happened!

The Reality of the Situation

The strain this creates rears its head again during OJ and Paper's fallout in The Reality of the Situation, which ends up being way worse due to Paper bringing up OJ's outburst and OJ's...well, crumbling ego. He ends up X'ed, like in canon, but people are a lot more split on it- it's terrifying, sure, but...not the worst person it could've happened to.

Taco, on the other hand, just tries not to think about the confliction she feels whenever she looks at it. Deep down, in a sense, she's won. She outlived him. But she never wanted it like this.

Through No Choice Of Your Own

Things are mostly the same for Taco, she talks with Mic, trying to parse her feelings on the deceased OJ and Pickle and her failed attempts at reconciliation...

...and then MePhone explains that he made them all for the show, and it ends up hitting her way harder than it did in canon. She basically regresses to her intense villain side from the end of S1/start of S2 and tries to kill him out of desperation because he's why she feels so broken, he's why they're all broken. She can't handle that she's been trying to stop the show when the show is what made her. She is the show. They're all the show. It's all in his voice. It's always been his voice.

Mic and MePad get her to Purgatory Mansion, but she's still a mess- but a mess away from MePhone, at least, even if she's deluded to the point of being paranoid that MePad's in on it. She doesn't try to hurt him. The others who are brought with her? They are shocked by seeing how much Taco's fallen. After everything they had heard from Baseball and Lightbulb and Microphone, she looks more broken and desperate than...evil. But she still made her choice, they said. Even if once again she did it in a fugue state. At least that means they don't try to push her buttons while she's clearly not in the right headspace, if on Mic and MePad's request.

And she spends her last moments lost in her own head, trying to make sense of everything. She can't.

She just can't.

Objects in Mirror

Taco and OJ appear next to each other in MeAfterlife. (Frankly, I just thought it was weird that Taco and OJ never got to interact and that besides a one-off line by Paper, she never interacts with anyone from Season 1). He doesn't know that she's been really not in the right space and at least somewhat trying to get better? So he just treats her like a villain and stuff, and Taco is just not having it- and without anyone to hold her back, she lays into OJ hard.

TACO: "Oh, and that precious game you won?! The- the one that made you a millionaire, gave you the love and adoration of everyone around you?! It's fake! It's ALL fake, WE'RE fake!"

OJ: "W- What-"

TACO: (She laughs, her face cracking slightly. She sounds on the brink of madness.) "MePhone made us, OJ! We were all so stupid, we couldn't see the truth dangling in front of our faces- this isn't a game show, it's the sad, sad story about how one bastard created a theatre of nightmares and made every actor to dance forever on the stage! And I'm just his favorite mistake, stuck playing the role of the villain!"

OJ: (He stands firm.) "I- Even if you're right, that doesn't change anything! I still heard about how you were interfering with the season, you tried to steal the million from me, you still chose to be a villain."

TACO: "Chose?! CHOSE?! How- You're really not getting it! Unbelievable! We- we- we we we we we can't escape, I've tried to escape, you think I wanted to be chained to a show where everybody hates you?! Maybe that's why he let you win, you couldn't see the truth if it in his shoddy bloody handwriting!"

OJ: "…Are…you crying-"

TACO: "I WANTED TO HELP THEM, OJ! I THOUGHT IF I JUST STOPPED THE SHOW THEY WOULDN'T…they wouldn't end up like…me. And. and…"

OJ: "…Taco?"

TACO: "…i would have just made it even worse…it's- it's pathetic, really. all these plans and schemes and…i never thought about what i'd do after."

The air- the non-existent air, really, no need to breathe in purgatory- is still, awkward. OJ doesn't really know what to do, he thinks Taco's finally lost it. He almost pities her, he can see that same doubt he's been grappling with for...what, months now? But she made her choice. And this is probably just some weird pity play she's conjuring up- not real, that's ridiculous! If this wasn't real then everything he'd done would've been for nothing, and he can't accept that.

He can't accept that.

Just don't think about why you woke up in a place that looks like MePhone and you don't have to accept anything!

But of course, just as MePhone4S and Knife found themselves at the tables, OJ soon finds himself stepping on something else. A piece of paper.

"FULL OF HOT AIR".

He keeps looking through them, unsure of why these papers are here. "MICROPHONE", "MARSHMALLOW", "BASEBALL- ALWAYS STRIKES OUT", "KNIFE- MEAN, JERK, CHANGE OF HEART?"…

Taco eventually wanders over and calls them as she sees them- these…are the blueprints for the II cast. OJ can't handle it, but then he mumbles something that gets the gears turning in both of their heads.

OJ: "...i can see what's wrong with me..."

They silently began to scour through the papers, seeing the faces of (almost) everyone they've ever known. Floor, Salt, Yin-Yang, Nickel, Apple, Taco almost breaks down when she sees Pickle's…and then they find theirs.

And they just. Can't understand it. Why is OJ's all negative? Why is Taco an "underdog"? She manipulated everyone to get to second, she played the role of an underdog but if MePhone made her to be the villain, why is she being called a genuine underdog?

…Why does it sound more like OJ was made to be more of a villain than she was?

And all of a sudden, she's ripped away. She closes her eyes, and she's suddenly with everyone again, next to Paper…

And then she hears something.

FAN: "Weird, I thought I just pressed OJ's button."

The gears turn.

They turn again.

A look of abject horror overtakes her.

TACO: "Press my button."

Fan doesn't think much about it, pressing it.

And OJ appears, still holding the two papers in his hands.

FAN: "Huh- I guess something's wrong with MeLife?"

MARSHMALLOW: "Great, another thing he was hiding from us…"

FAN: "I was wondering why he turned away when he had to recover OJ back in the season premiere! Thought he was just building up suspense for the big reveal of how he revives every…oh, that makes a lot more sense now."

PAINTBRUSH: "Why would it just be their buttons though? Everyone else's work fine."

TEST TUBE: "Well, you flip a 0 and a 1 somewhere and who knows what could go wrong!"

CABBY: "He is a known dyslexic…"

(The two of them just stare at each other as everyone else talks.)

(You flip a 0 and a 1.)

(A 0.)

(and a 1.)

(A failure.)

(and a victory.)

(You flip a winner and a loser and everything goes wrong.)

Taking a step away from the two of them for a moment, because to be entirely honest...I wanna do something more with the red line game. Felt a little too...one-and-done, the only actual stakes ended up being because Marshmallow fucked up. Yes this a mild fix fic for II2 18, you are just under two thousand words into reading about the timeline of an II darkfic, neither of us have better things to do.

I had an idea that maybe they're more in groups. Like they can't convince everyone all at once, but eventually they all need to try and get out.

The main group, the plot-important group with like Knife and Suitcase and Marshmallow and stuff can go first, they're the biggest and they need to fulfill their lore obligations- I'm thriving, I'm not a monster, they can keep their sappy happy ending.

But then maybe more people start to go because…well, nobody knows what happened to Knife. Did he die? Did he make it out? Did anyone make it out?

It also helps that a bunch of people won, which means it is winnable, and that gives more people hope to do it and go for it.

…Until it's just Taco and OJ. They both have that same, awful feeling in their heads. They both know. They know the other know. They both dance around it, a waltz where even one misstep will destroy them both but eventually they need to break away to look out.

They both approach the buttons.

Taco presses her button. OJ feels it.

OJ presses his button. Taco feels it.

There's a long silence, neither of them know what to do. What to say.

What could you even say?

OJ: "…i'm sorry."

TACO: "…"

TACO: "let's just go."

They both make it out, of course. How could you worry about some ghostly images, some lies from your brain, when the truth is so much worse?

They're the last two out, since everyone was a tad more split in arriving it's not too alarming. MePhone won't leave for good until everyone is out, but he's keeping his distance from everyone else.

And boy is he surprised by Taco and OJ looking at him like they've just seen a ghost! (I mean they haven't even seen Knife yet.)

MePhone half-expects Taco to try to kill him again, but instead he's bombarded by a bunch of questions he can't answer. Why? What's wrong with them? What made them this way? Why did everything go wrong? Why won't the feeling go away? What went wrong so early? Was OJ really supposed to win or was it supposed to be Taco?

MEPHONE4: "…I…don't know? I'll admit, a lot of it was, uh, on the spot back in Season 1, and…okay, also Season 2. And Season 3-"

(OJ holds out the papers of him and Taco.)

OJ: "THEN WHAT ARE THESE?!"

(MePhone holds the papers in surprise.)

MEPHONE4: "Oh…wow! Heh, the things you forget, huh? …Uh, I know these maybe aren't the best things to cherish, but-"

TACO: "ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

MEPHONE4: "I don't know, okay?! I was young, I was stupid- sure, maybe I wanted you to win deep down or whatever cause I thought stupid was funny, but you two should know better than everyone that the finale was a mess! Partially because of you."

TACO: "I ONLY-" OJ: "If it wasn't HER, it was going to be ME!"

(MePhone just…shrugs.)

MEPHONE4: "Well, uh...it wasn't? I'm sorry if that's a bad answer, but at this point it's all I got."

(And he begins to walk away.)

TACO: "W- Where are you going?!"

MEPHONE4: "Eh, I don't know. You two were the last ones, and…frankly I've made enough of a mess here. Enjoy your lives."

MEPHONE4: "…Oh, and, uh…I can't respawn you anymore and there's a funeral happening right now. I'd say you two should go there now but honestly you look miserable as-is and I think it'd…just make things worse."

OJ: "Wh- Who died? Everyone got out…unless-"

MEPHONE4: "Knife's a ghost, but he's…fine?"

("As fine as a ghost can be, really.")

MEPHONE: "It's not for one of you guys…"

(They both pause for a moment- if it's not MePhone and it's not one of the contestants, then...)

TACO: "…no."

TACO: "No no no no no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO-"

(Taco immediately makes a run opposite MePhone- if he's going away, then following his footprints would lead her back to them and she can see MePad, he's not dead, he didn't die, she can still apologize, she can still…)

(She can still…)

(She realizes someone's holding her back.)

TACO: "OJ, GET OFF OF ME, YOU'RE- THIS IS ALL YOU DO! ALL YOU'VE DONE IS HOLD ME BACK! I COULD'VE HAD EVERYTHING, I COULD'VE BEEN A WINNER, THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN RIGHT AND WE COULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY BUT YOU- YOU, YOU…"

(She lets out a scream of despair. As she collapses into OJ's arms, sobbing, she feels like she's about to break into a million pieces.)

(They both do.)

I imagine only OJ comes back. He offered Taco a place in the hotel, but they both know it’s an empty gesture. They’re too freaked out to even be near each other afterwards, afraid of what could happen, afraid of what they could become.

OJ pretends everything is fine, deep down his ego still won’t let him confess the truth. He fears everyone would hate him for taking Taco’s life, even if he didn’t mean it.

Taco wouldn’t mind if she knew- her self-destructive mind would never want someone else to take her place. It’s her burden, she tells herself, she chose this.

Even if it’s a lie…it’s the devil she knows.

Hey So Nova, How Does The Swap Work Anyway?

Great question! I wanted to do it earlier but I got sidetracked by my II fixfic/darkfic.

Let's set a baseline: Taco was supposed to win as the goofy underdog while OJ, the manipulative and egotistical guy (if one that puts on a role of leadership) snaps from being denied his victory because he hates losing- but due to Bow, OJ wins instead of Taco, so without realizing their code is forced to correct and fast.

Taco goes from a charismatic if silly… (leader? I don't think she'd quite be a caretaker like OJ is in canon, moreso a general friend-to-all maybe?) to a suddenly villainous puppetmaster who'd been playing the audience and contestants for fools.

OJ goes from an egotistical timebomb to a firm leader and caretaker, if one that tends to get lost in his own head sometimes without realizing.

In a sense, even their worst parts are taken from each other.

OJ's timebomb nature turns into Taco's self-destruction as she believes stopping the game is all she has left.

Taco's ditzy, clueless nature turns into OJ's blindness to his now-unchecked ego until the doubt sets in.

Another detail along this train of thought but focusing on a different part of the question of how is...

Well, the main thing with their last talk with MePhone is that that first season, even if he realizes it, was guided subconsciously. Maybe he did want Taco to win, maybe he had it be equal- remember, this AU was more or less founded on a hypothetical twist before MePhone's intent was ever discussed in-canon that in execution would have been more of a meta twist based on what the viewer knows.

There's a lot of things he can't answer for himself or for them, and there definitely aren't any answers that are gonna make them happy with him. MePad had a point- what he wanted and what the reality was are probably very different. And unfortunately, he's just as good at discerning which is which as the rest of them.

They might never know the definitive answer- they might not even ever learn Bow's the reason this all happened. At the end of the day, it's more of a question of if they can move on despite it.

(...or, you know, if they can't, which is fine by me- can't thrive if there's no suffering. It's why I went quiet after II2 18 dropped, how was I supposed to thrive in those conditions?)

Yeah I Don't Care, Now What?

Well, that's for Part 2! I imagine Mic wouldn't be willing to leave Taco alone, especially based on what OJ says after he returns about Taco being distraught about MePad's death and feeling the bridges are too far burnt down. Sure, the...revelation made things worse, but it was a shock to everyone. Mic just hopes they can start to recover that progress someday, even if she doesn't know the truth.

Like I said, they can keep their happy ending, Cobs is dead, everyone's gonna get to live their lives...just really the emotional states that'll end up in question.

Especially for the latest winner and her new friend. But that's a story for another day.

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drivinmeinsane · 1 year ago

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i need you to talk more about colts nipple piercings please

I hope some filth will suffice. Any mention of tits (especially with pierced nipples) is enough to pry me off the projects I'm working on and drag me out of my cave to post a drabble. I’m a simple person.

COLT SEAVERS {Playtime}

Colt Seavers x GN!Reader ※ { drabble } ※ { masterlist } ※ { ao3 }

※ Summary: Colt's chest gets some appreciation. ※ Rating: 18+ for explicit mature content. ※ Content/tags: Male Breast Worship, Consensual Use of Restraints, Nipple Play, Cumming in Pants, Bottom Colt, Edging, No Use of Y/N, No Pronouns Given for Reader ※ Word count: 1028 ※ Status: One-shot / Complete

Muffled sobs and the creak of a bed frame pollute the room’s silence. It’s not something that can be helped. Not when the creator of the noises is so fraught with the desire to be used.

There, put on display atop the mattress, is Colt. His mouth is stretched open wide, jaw straining to accommodate the gag tucked between his teeth. The stuntman’s hands are bound over his head and secured to the bars of the frame. He’s anything but relaxed. How can he be when he’s still wearing pants? His erection is straining at the material of them. Moisture is pooled at the place where his cock’s head bulges the distressed fabric of his jeans. If he were not also confined in his underwear, you’re sure you would be able to see his flushed skin and dribbling slit through the unraveling threads.

He’s been left leaking for a long time. You have reduced the blond man to bucking in place, squirming, in the attempt to find the friction you’ve not been granting enough of. Tears are leaking from his eyes and rolling down his cheeks until they are stopped by the strap holding the gag in place.

You like Colt spread out like this. Maybe moreso than when you have him on his knees. He is more desperate this way.

Tearing your eyes away from the pretty picture he makes all wet and eager for your attention, you focus your gaze elsewhere. You’re not here for his cock. It’s an afterthought. It’s his chest that you’re interested in. All bare and reddened from where you have already mouthed at the tender flesh long enough to drive the bound stuntman insane, it waits for you.

In gestures of proper care, you have let him have a rest that he did not want, but needed. You had offered him water, carefully angled the glass so that the liquid slid into his mouth with ease before gagging him again. Even his arms and hands had been rubbed to ensure his circulation is satisfactory. It’s time to resume your play.

“Are you ready?” you question only to get a frantic nod in response.

Pleased by his enthusiasm, you slowly get onto the bed. He’s nearly shaking with how badly he wants this. Catching his raised knees with your hands, you push ever so slightly. He lets his legs fall open, hoping you will finally give him what he has been not so silently begging for—a filled hole.

You’re not.

Instead, you shuffle forwards, feeling the mattress shift under your weight, until your own knees are nestled in the apex of his thighs. You lower your body, draping yourself over his. His cock twitches, eager, underneath your stomach. Colt tries to rut against you without permission. Your shirt gets rucked up in the attempt, smearing the precum that has beaded up through his pants against your bare skin. Punishment for the infraction comes quick.

The fingers of your left hand clamp down hard around his left nipple. Upon receiving the harsh contact, Colt moans around the gag and throws his head back. The motion bares his neck, highlighting the sweat gleaming tantalizingly over the curve of his Adam’s apple. It makes you want to lick the column of his throat. You resist.

Letting up on the pressure, you roll the nub between your fingers. It’s hot to the touch, nearly as firm as the bar adorning it. His piercings had seemed so impractical at the time, but they’ve quickly become a source of entertainment for the both of you.

Needing to chase your own release, you brace your knees against the bed and swing one leg over to straddle his thigh. It’s thick between your own. Setting a steady pace, you grind your pelvis down against the firm appendage. Having just had a reminder, Colt knows that he is not allowed to move with you, to race to completion at your side. He keeps himself still even as your mouth seals around the nipple that is not being caressed long past the edge of over stimulation by the dry brush of your thumb.

Your tongue traces over the ends of the barbell, flicking lightly at the metal rather than his skin directly. It drags a guttural, pleading moan from the man underneath you. You raise your head, sucking firmly on the stuntman’s nipple as you do so. It leaves your mouth with a wet pop, swollen and used.

“Not yet,” you tell him.

Spurred by his quiet whines, your pace becomes hurried. Your underwear is soaked through, chafing against you with every thrust of your hips. You’re hovering on the edge. This session is rapidly reaching a conclusion.

Colt shifts under you again as you stop teasing his nipple with your fingers and switch to cupping his other breast with your right hand. You adjust your position on top of his body to lick over the newly abandoned teat with slow passes of your tongue, wetting it. At the newly introduced sensation, the stuntman jerks, drawing his legs up just enough to give you a better angle to rut against. Your licking turns into sucking bites of the soft skin under his nipple.

Like thunder rolling over the plains, your orgasm hits you. You ride him as you ride it out, hips stuttering and pressing against the tensed muscles of his thigh. Your release leaves you panting wetly against his chest. Your lips are grazing his sternum as your hips slow and finally still.

As a reward, your hand leaves his tit. You drag your fingers down the blond man’s sweat-slick body. His abdomen tenses in anticipation when your touch graces it before reaching his belt and then finally one of the places where he’s been craving your touch. Not bothering to undo the button and fly of his jeans, you press the palm of your hand against his erection. You rub it against Colt, traveling along the swell of him. Your fingers find and circle the head of his cock through the layers. His precum clings to your digits, sticky. He cums, making a further mess of himself.

“Good boy, Colt.”

Do not repost, copy, or reproduce my work to other sites or in other media formats. Do not use it for anything to do with AI. Thank you.

#the fall guy (2024)#colt seavers #colt seavers x reader #x reader #.from you #.my posts #.my work #.my drabbles

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bunnakit · 2 years ago

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last twilight ep 7 thoughts, feelings, etc

ALRIGHT i ran my errands, caught up on pit babe and playboyy to relax, and now i'm doing my speedwatch. i took some notes while watching the first time and they're a fucking MESS but hopefully they help me remember everything i want to comment on because without fail i always forget something.

you'll all be glad to know this week's meta bullshit from me is far, far less romantic and wistful than last weeks. you've all been spared by my adhd brain not being able to piece together a single poetic thought.

i kind of knew from this moment the trajectory the episode would take. Day is clearly nervous but not defensive - this isn't out of the realm of something Mhok would do for him but with recent context it probably feels fairly intimate. i think this was a really good indicator of what we're in for.

there's a collection of sunflowers in Day's room, tucked away in the corner, not unlike Mhok tucking away his feelings for Day's comfort. the poor things are shrouded in shadow, away from the light. the pain is unending and forever.

Day's flashback to the kiss has me curious. his eyes are closed so he's not even thinking back to seeing what he can of Mhok up close. as he reminisces about this kiss is he simply remembering the sensation of Mhok's lips on his own? how his hands curled into Mhok's jacket? and i'm sure we've all seen the post but - was he thinking of the way Mhok tasted like cigarettes? this isn't to romanticize his disability, i'm just genuinely wondering what exactly he's drawing on here in this moment, because it's clearly something significant to him.

Porjai just keeps getting prettier every episode and it's making me insane. i just think i should be allowed to take care of her.

"I'm jealous of Day's ability to make you smile."

this makes me think Mhok's smiles have been few and far between, and maybe Porjai has been looking to bring out that smile for a long time. does she ever worry that maybe someday Mhok could end up like Rung? does she worry about finding him too?

oh i so very badly want the context for this, i want to know everything. but also, it's really not that surprising. not when we've seen the things Mhok has done for Day. Mhok lives his life in extremes; anger, kindness, protectiveness, his work, etc. everything Mhok does he puts his whole self into it and it's nice to see his love is no different, because why would it be?

i'm once again in awe of what P'Aof has done with Mhok and Porjai, though. they live together so easily and naturally. there's nothing strange or awkward about it, just two people surviving life together. it's such a breath of fresh air.

Day just cannot catch a break when it comes to August. this has to hurt so fucking badly, the pity has to feel amplified by 1000. not only was August trying to force himself to like Day back because he's blind, but also because he was thinking of leaving. Day is a stronger man than me because i would be frothing at the mouth pissed.

but once again, Mhok doesn't let Day stew in his fish tank. he encourages him to go out and resolve his feelings, even if that means screaming at August and letting out all his hurt and frustration. he's seen what happens when Day lets his hurt fester and he won't let it happen again, not while he's around.

"He's a lot stronger than I thought. It's me who's so weak that I let him down."

as much as August pisses me off, i do think this is him realizing his pity was misplaced, and he failed Day in that way, so he gets some redemption points here. (still think he's a stinky bastard man tho)

the immediate distance Mhok puts between himself and the group never fails to hurt my heart. i get it, he's there for a job, but their relationship has progressed past that - now even moreso, and i cant help but wonder if this is his attempt at keeping a distance, curbing his expectations, reminding himself that while his role is to be by Day's side it's only in a professional capacity.

i love that Gee acknowledges him with a little head nod, occasionally looks in Mhok's direction as if to include him, she's just - ugh - i love all the women in this show so fucking much. i just wish someone would invite Mhok over sometime, encourage him to join the conversation (like they did back at the party.)

sometimes Mhok really is the embodiment of a shadow - both of Day and of his former self (for good or bad.)

(he looks so fucking sexy leaning like that with his shirt tucked into his pants tho, whew.)

Gee also becomes one of my favorite people for asking Day to take the photo of all of them. she just gets it, she includes him, she doesn't act like he can't do things, she even insists he can, she's just !!! the women of all time in this show i swear!!! I LOVE WOMEN!!!!

also the "you don't drink coffee, girl spill the tea" from Gee is just so good. she knows a diversion tactic when she sees one.

i want this expression framed, she's so cute, HELP.

i wish i had the time and energy today to make gifs for this week but ugh. the journey Mhok's face went on here to end up at quiet resignation. because he did figure. someone like Day? with someone like him? because we know Mhok's opinion of himself isn't great, largely influenced by his incarceration and reintegration into society, i'm sure, along with his guilt. but there had been that little bud of hope, a little sunflower seed that had bloomed just a little too far, reached for the sun a little too much. it must feel like a weed in his chest.

the way Day says 'here' so softly, with so much vulnerability made me feel like screaming. he doesn't know what his feelings are for Mhok yet (you can't tell me he doesn't feel anything) but he knows he doesn't want to lose Mhok and the sudden idea of it is terrifying. Mhok is the only person that really understands him, one of the only people he's comfortable around anymore, and he can't lose that. he doesn't want to go back to the dirty fish tank.

i also think this was an indicator to Mhok that maybe Day doesn't know how he feels, and maybe he can get away with flirting in tiny, subtle ways because from here on his secret flirting game is in full effect and it's so fucking cute. he's careful not to completely push past Day boundaries, but to test them in gentle ways.

THE SHOES MY BELOVEDS. we all know what i feel about these shoes after last week and i'm so glad to see all of my stupid babbling confirmed here. i love that Mhok constantly mends things instead of throwing them away. the sentimentality of items means something to Mhok and we love him for that.

we also got a proper 'sweet dreams' this episode, finally!! thank you subbers!

so many shots of feet this ep tho and lemme tell you as someone that HATES feet, this was rough.

oh you are so smitten. Day realizing Mhok is warm, warm in his own way, warm in such a gentle and understated way. UGH. you would've thought he knew after everything they've been through but sometimes people need a reminder and maybe something to drive them to pay closer attention. our boy is BESOTTED. kicking his feet and giggling. i think this is the happiest we've ever seen him.

so here's where i'm probably going to wax poetic the most. Mhok is finally opening up to Day in such an incredible way. he brings Day to his home with no fear of pity or judgement. he brings him into this sanctuary created by him, his sister, and Porjai and he cooks for him and cares for him and in letting him in Day sees even more how impossibly warm Mhok is.

what's even greater is there isn't a single moment where Day is jealous or questions Porjai being there. Mhok has told him she's expecting and he's never weird about it, just kind and understanding and it's all so normalized, it's fucking beautiful. Day even takes the time to encourage Porjai, to share about his mom, and about the strength it takes to be a single mom. P'Aof i adore you.

Mhok has planted jasmine simply because he knows Day likes it, and maybe now he likes it too. and he brings Last Twilight home to practice reading (i'd always wondered how he managed to read without stumbling over himself lmao) and he's done it so much that now Porjai wants to name their child Mee, wants to create this connection to Day forever.

and once prompted, once Day knows enough to ask, Mhok opens up about Rung, talks about her more. Day comments on the warmth of the house, something started by Rung and cultivated by Mhok. it would be so easy for the house to feel cold and clinical, especially knowing what happened here, but Mhok has kept it a home - warm, inviting, comforting - all the things Mhok has been to Day.

the noises took me by fuckin' surprise tho, i genuinely looked around my house like who the fuck is making all that noise and then i was like OH THOSE ARE-- OKAY--

and I know people are like haha P'Aof has a scent kink but like. idk. maybe it's just me but scents are something i'm drawn to. i remember the way someone smelled more than i remember their face. i recently took a shirt out of my closet and immediately started crying. it smelled like face powder and perfume. it smelled like my grandma. the leather jacket pushed to the side smells like cigarettes and horses, like my dad always did.

scent is such an ingrained memory, something that is so hard for our brains to let go of. every time i get a familiar smell it knocks me on my ass, and i'm so glad to see some of this represented in these shows.

this absolutely warmed my heart. whatever is going on with Night and Day is clearly more on Day's side than anything else. Night clearly loves his brother and i'm just fucking DYING to know what is going on that is causing Day to drive a wedge between them. sure, Night hasn't been perfect, but there's love there and that counts for so much.

and what exactly are you doing here??? this is a charity run for blindness - does he know someone that is blind other than Day? did meeting Day inspire him to participate? has he spent time talking to Mhok about Day and maybe the difficulties of his blindness? i am filled with questions but i love this character so much, he's just so kind.

Day's hesitation to cross the finish line was also something i found so interesting. it felt long, possibly too drawn out, but Day needed to think, needed time to understand that if he crosses that finish line, if he accepts Mhok's request to be his boyfriend, their lives will never go back to how they were. things between them will change forever, whether the relationship is a success or otherwise. it's an incredibly mature thing of Day to do, even if it felt a little lengthy for us, the audience.

i strongly believe that in addition to Mhok Porjai is going to be a big driving force in Night and Day's reconciliation. i would love to see Porjai gain Night's side of the story, Mhok gain Day's side of the story, and the two of them working together to see how they can reunite these brothers.

also if i had a nickle for every time P'Aof paired Mark with a pregnant woman in his shows i'd have two nickles, which isn't a lot but it's interesting it has happened twice.

while i, like everyone else, hope the mock proposal is a parallel we get to see later i want to focus more on this moment.

i forget who said it, it's long gone to the depths of my dash by now, but someone commented that disabilities do not stop for love, and fuck is that so true. i love Mhok's concern, his immediate reaction to soothe, and the way he seems to feel Day's fear as his own. and poor Day, he can't even enjoy this moment of bliss with Mhok because of course, of course something like this had to happen. it's so fucking real in the way Last Twilight has been this entire time.

the constant excellent representation of disabled living has been incredible to see, i've seen so much of myself in this show (even though my disability is so very different) and it's been like a warm blanket put over very single comment: you're too young to be disabled, you aren't THAT disabled, you're being dramatic, etc.

from the bottom of my heart, thank you P'Aof and team.

tag loves: @benkaaoi @callipigio @infinitelyprecious (as always tell me if you want to be added {for LT only or all meta} or removed!)

#bunn meta #last twilight #last twilight the series #mhokday #morkday #userjamiec #im soooo fuckin sleepy after making this but i still have to work #someone come make me tea and gimme a little kith

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little-lxnari · 1 month ago

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Ventish rant below, has topics regarding Forsaken (< for Gold)

I don’t usually post stuff like this because I’m not the biggest fan of talking about my feelings (especially if it’s just me being mad, uhu). I mostly just want to put this somewhere where someone can see it because I won’t be satisfied if absolutely nobody hears about why I’m salty today

This is about JSaB and Forsaken, it’s not targeted at a specific person, moreso just a collective with no specific conciouses. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about if you know what those two games are uhu

It’s those damn skins. This is not a serious issue at ALL it just really grinds my gears. Everytime I see something about JSaB (mostly on TikTok), it’s got one of three things: A Forsaken tag, someone in the comments saying “are those the skins from Forsaken?”, or someone saying “thank you Forsaken for reviving the jsab fandom”.

I’m very happy to leave an informative reply to someone asking if those skins are from something, because JSaB isn’t/wasn’t as popular as Forsaken is and less people are likely to know what the skins are referencing. But it gets to a point y’know? Like, it’s obvious you know that this is from a different game, but the content doesn’t involve Forsaken or the skins, it just has the characters. It’s like that one meme I vaguely remember where it was Halloween and a kid came up to a house, and in response to being asked what his costume was, he said: “I’m purple stormtrooper from Fortnite!” (Purple stormtrooper is not from Fortnite).

Now I get it, you’re happy that our apparently “dead” fandom was “revived” by “a Roblox game” (our fandom was not dead, nor was it revived, which is also not that big of a deal but it still gets me going). But you know what’s even worse? When there’s people telling JSaB fans that feel the same way as me to “be grateful”. For… Forsaken adding members to our fandom that don’t even know who the characters used in the skins actually are? I see things like “be greatful Forsaken revived the fandom” and “don’t complain”, but I have not seen anyone asking for a game to make JSaB blow up in popularity and have members from a very shitty fandom come into ours. Yeah, our fandom isn’t the best either, but saying I should be greatful to Forsaken for “reviving” the fandom is kinda stupid. That feels the same as if you dropped a bag of catnip on my porch while I only have dogs (I do not have dogs, this is an example) and said “be greatful I got your pets something”. I did not ask for that catnip and I do not want that catnip! Go give the catnip to someone with cats who wishes to give them catnip as a treat! And do not treat it as if you dropped $1mil on my porch! -While that would be nice, there’s probably also people who don’t want $1mil cash on their porch, so take that as you will, uhu

I love the fact that there’s Forsaken players that see the skins and decide to check out JSaB! I love u kiss kiss hug mwah good day now! I’ve seen tons of players who started playing the game and share their experiences and which level is their favorite and which is their least favorite, go into that uncharted territory! There’s even people seeing the skins, checking out JSaB, then checking out the fandom, where there’s so many au’s like TPC (which is my favorite ever literally foaming at the mouth it’s gaining more fans there’s gonna be more tpc content hehehehe yayyy yippie uhuhu) that they get into and BOOM BOOM BAM more content for us scavengers to consume! I’m hoping it’s clear I’m not talking about these people, I’m talking about an entirely seperate group, which I don’t feel I need to describe after the lengthy paragraphs above.

Again, this is not anything serious like a “we need to talk about this…” it’s just Vexxie going “AOUGH this PEST is FLYING AROUND MY HEAD!!! I NEED to tell someone about it or I’ll go BATSHIT INSANE!!!!!!! WOOF HISS GROWL BARK, UHUHU!!!” cuz I’m feeling defensive about my favorite game with my favorite community that I cherish like soda and adorable cats and the colors blue and pink. Nor is this a formal anything, it’s not meant to be evaluated and judged by the public like everything I make.

Thanks if you actually spent precious seconds of your life reading all that, you don’t have to tell me you did, I’m unconsciously happy that you bothered uhu <3

#vexxie is yapping again #jsab #just shapes and beats #forsaken #tw rant #rant post #vent post

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cdroloisms · 1 year ago

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some c!dream fics don't take into account his flaws and make him like a little bit out of characther bc while he was traumatized by the prison and it affected his way of thought in much aspects he was still able to bit your hand if you looked him bad and got more focused on his revenge and after his plan. He's a more morally grey characther and sometimes people who try too hard not fell into the c!inniter caricature ended up making him unable to literally even hold a sword when that isn't true either

"revenge" lol

to be fair, c!dream was deeply affected by the prison and absolutely got nerfed like hell fighting wise. the difference between his fight with clingy before and after the prison is insane--not to mention how scrapped lore had him so damn triggered by the sight of the cell replica that c!quackity and c!sam could get him down pretty much without a fight. las nevadas five has him running away from the fight at the first main sign of danger (and then successfully being followed by c!tommy without noticing) and the scene with c!sapnap and c!george with aimsey had him barely fighting back at all, cowering behind his shield against a wall, and running away and using arrows of harming to get himself distance. like, sure, he can definitely still fight, but he was absolutely played as losing a lot of his fighting ability (c!dream's fighting style is nothing like cc!dream's--it was absolutely a deliberate character choice to have him act like this)

all that being said, i get what u mean--ooc c!dream is everywhere in every flavor. i definitely like c!dream written with a little bit of bite, especially when he's on the back foot, as you said. c!dream's declarations of revenge (as is especially evident in LN5 and daedalus, boy what the fuck is torturing a country supposed to mean IT'S A COUNTRY) are also very evidently ... often defensive in nature? c!dream bites and shows his teeth as a back off back off dont fucking touch me don't try to fuck with me gesture because he's scared moreso than angry, tbh, and i think playing with aggression due to fear is something fun to do with c!dream in fic in general bc of the ways that aggression can be perceived and then responded to

a lot of what i like about post-prison c!dream is that ... despite an alleged focus on revenge (which took him months. and fucked him over, with scrapped lore, and was badly executed both times with quackity and put him in a lot of danger and involved a hell of a lot more trying to get through to sam than actual revenge in daedalus) and The Plan (which involved ... killing people? and then he repeatedly. does not kill people?) is that he does feel quite directionless. he's still in the prison, still caught in that limbo. he's doing research (i guess) and he's letting the prison (his home base) rot around him. he's staying there and barely leaving for weeks at a time. all while he's focused on the plan, guys, #trust, he's fine, he's still moving forward moving on ... just. Just.

#ooc c!dream 😔#finding c!dream characterization that plases me ... can be hard ALKSFJAS lmao #and i definitely have plenty of my own woobification crimes #anyway #my asks !!#dsmp hot takes

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chrysalispilled · 2 months ago

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Putting this post from my journal alt here because it’s been simmering in my mind. Idk it’s so desperate and hopeful in a way that it’s stuck with me.

It’s my most canon compliant au too, Sky-Spider or not.

One reason it’s stuck with me so much is that this Luce is literally just me. She’s more recently out of college with a masters (my goal) in a comfortable place up north (also a goal. but moreso mass for me) and she’s just sorta. Living. Nothing special, just getting by. She’s been in relationships, but there wasn’t anything special there either. But then comes this weird lady crash landing into the alley by her apartment.

OH ALSO! Thank you for 400 (technically 399) followers!! Being seen for this stuff still feels insane, but knowing that so many people know me for this is exhilarating

Alt text below

Post 1: Been thinking of an older labseal au of mine,, back when it was mainly based around skyliv. It's all based on the collider deleted scene where liv jumps thru, but she overestimates her chances of survival nd ends up crash landing in a park or alley

There's no Octavius in this new universe, but rather more Osbornes. Luce finds Liv really early in the morning as she walks home from work, sits with her and does what she can to help (she carries a few aid supplies w her at all times. I do the same lol)

Soon enough, luce decides she wants to help. The trek back to her apartment isn't easy; but it's when the story really begins

•

Post 2: It's so, so hard for the both of them. Lucielle struggles within herself and her choice to bring Olivia in. This is a stranger, this stranger was a supervillain, and this stranger could very well kill her. One impulsive decision made it so she could possibly lose everything

Olivia on the other hand has already lost everything. Her universe has declared her dead.

There's no Alchemax in this universe, so there's no way for her to possibly properly weasel her way back in. And then when she's with Luce, everything just blurs. She sees her as something akin to an angel, the greatest testament to the fact that the multiverse does exist, that there is more. But then she has to learn that there's more to her theories and ideas in life. She doesn't want to bring any harm to Lucielle, that savior isn't a threat, but she has that latent curiosity in her. She wants to pry, she wants to assimilate

(Idk how luce is gonna make money in this au, but while her place is vv small, she's comfortable. She's able to provide for herself, a cat, and the doctor. Considering it's an alternate universe IN an alternate universe let's just say that the economy is nice for once, even if this is NY)

#selkie speaking #OH YEA! new minth stuff today too!

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cedric-k-rossignol · 5 months ago

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HIII!!!!! I'm sending an ask because responding in a reblog or a seperate post feels weird and awkward!!! But you reblogged one of my Claudia sketches and briefly mentioned t4t Claudiataker in the tags (thank you so much by the way you are super nice) and that set off MY brainworm.

I am in a rush so this is very badly put together and I'm honestly just brain dumping in your ask box and I apologize for that, I am fully aware that my t4t hc for them DOES NOT qualify as a proper theory and I don't expect it to be canon or anything, but omg, I have thought WAY too hard about it.

First of all, I think it could work with the fact that Claudia kept the Phantomhive name, and even passed it to Vincent and Frances, it's not just because she's a cool female watchdog, but also because she wasn't born as an heiress, she was supposed to be an heir. My thoughts about her are actually wayyy to complicated so this is just. The simplest way I can put it. And it's also not entirely accurate to my actual interpretation of her, nor is it accurate to actual historical evidence, I like having my Victorian Flip-Phone moments with her.

As for UT, pretty much everyone at this point has pointed out that he's a wonderful parallel to Grell and augh I just love the idea of that. They are sooo similar, Grell just hasn't approached UT's level of crash out yet, and him being trans would just... Make this so much more personal me thinks...

Anywho!!! Sorry about word vomiting about them in your ask box 🫶 I love them a lot and felt the need to share because I need to soread my t4t Claudiataker propaganda.

TL/DR: I am mildly insane about t4t Claudiataker please ask me about them

Hi hi hello you lovely artiste 🤗 personally I live for being weird and awkward and generally unhinged in the tags, but that's just me. I also enjoy word vomit in my ask box, so it's all gravy either way.

You know I realized the name thing when I had that ask not too long ago that claimed Claudia must not have been married in order to pass her maiden name to her children. This isn't true, she just would have needed royal assent - but her being trans does work perfectly, doesn't it? I also love the thought that three generations of Phantomhive heirs were wearing dresses. Claudia really set the trend there.

"Victorian Flip-Phone moments" - brilliant.

I've always thought Claudia would have been incredibly isolated as a female watchdog; unaccepted by the other male heads of noble families, her predecessor's associates, and the other women of the peerage. She would have been an outcast, even moreso than the watchdog typically is, for the unique position she held. This would make a lot of sense if she were trans, too - and it would make her connection with Undertaker all the more significant.

Funny that you say that Grelle is a wonderful parallel to Undertaker, because I personally haven't seen much about that. I've always seen much more in common between Undertaker and Will - at least, within their careers as reapers, and I very much like the theory that Will will be guided down the same path of rebellion that Undertaker took.

I do think Grelle and Undertaker have some traits in common, but Grelle is much more uninhibited than Undertaker was as a reaper. They both seem to be very unusual reapers, but for very different reasons. Grelle's own rebellion seemed more... Unserious, I guess? And perhaps, more motivated by love and personal freedom than Undertaker's, which I believe was more motivated by a sense of moral righteousness. I have always adored the line Undertaker says in their fight on the Campania, "you've been seduced by the lives of humans too". Like, there's so much to dissect in that one line - though tbh I can't remember if that was the official translation or not.

So I'd be curious to hear more about their similarities from you, and where you think Grelle is going with her level of crash out. Spread your propaganda and the brain worm will do its work. Undertaker and Claudia's love story is so important to me and THANK YOU for drawing them 💙 I've stalked your blog for a while before I rejoined Tumblr so it's lovely to chat. Your art is wonderful, and that meme about Vincent looking like Claudia killed me.

#ask #claudiataker #undertaker x claudia #cloudiataker #undertaker x cloudia #black butler #kuroshitsuji #long live claudiataker 🫡#and may i live long enough to see yana reveal her fucking face GIVE IT TO ME #if ciel looks like her i might actually go absolutely insane #t4t claudiataker #might as well start that tag now

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