#i feel in my bones they need to move from the romantic element and to the more...i outlived my children adopted/bio

[peachhoneii]

I have to prepare myself for the possibility of them being a couple when considering game lore it's implied they do end up together, down the line.

However, we’ve had our vampire/human romances, and I am interested in knowing more about Alucard’s life post the original show. How did he and Greta live? How did he, Trevor, Sypha, and Greta live?

For Alucard's character in the show, it's compelling to examine a familial relationship, especially a paternal/familial one when Maria's story is considered. Daddy issues. Murderous daddy issues. Mothers killed by the church. Furthermore, if Alucard did have kids, what happened to them?

Let’s explore the consequences of immortality.

Alucard could have very well produced children with Greta (in the og, the village children called him father, and he didn't correct them), but they’re only a quarter vampire. Extended life doesn’t equal eternal life. What if Alucard outlived his children due to old age/getting sick and not murder/slaying?

What if he sees in Maria a daughter he cherished, a daughter he loves although she’s been dead for over 250 years? What if he misses being a parent?

We’ve already touched on vampires outliving their mortal lovers. Let’s get on vampires outliving their mortal children. M’kay?

[scoonsalicious]

8.1 Major

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of violence, death, nightmares.

Word Count: 1.8k

Previously On...: Sexy times ensued, you went back to the compound with Bucky.

A/N: I got nothing today, lol

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The sun was an oppressive force, beating down mercilessly on Major and her unit as they trekked through the rocky outcrops. The air was thick and suffocating, making each breath a struggle in itself. Sweat poured down her face, stinging her eyes and soaking her clothes beneath the heavy body armor she wore. 

The weight of her gear – body armor, helmet, ammunition, weapons, and equipment – felt unbearable. Each piece pressed down on her body, making her feel trapped and weighed down, claustrophobic. Each step was painful– the metal elements of her gear, heated by the merciless sun, burned against her skin and the rough fabric of her uniform chafed, creating raw, painful spots where her gear rubbed against her body.

As Major moved beneath the blistering Afghanistan sun, she licked at her cracked lips, but her tongue was bone dry. Every muscle in her body was aching with fatigue, the oppressive heat sapping her energy. 

Her vision blurred, the combined effects of the heat and dehydration, and she blinked several times to clear her vision.

She looked back at the line of troops following her– the men and women who had volunteered for this mission, who were willing to put their already endangered lives at further risk to go behind enemy lines at her command. In the distance, she could still make out the sounds of battle around them: the distant gunfire, the low hum of helicopters, the crackling of radios.

Trying to ignore the pounding of her heart, Major paused to double-check her map and GPS before leading her unit through a narrow, rocky pass. The terrain was difficult and treacherous, and she needed to be careful of her footing. A slip or fall out here could mean putting the entire mission in jeopardy if they had to call for rescue. That was a risk she wasn’t willing to take.

This hadn’t been the only route to reach their objective; after careful consideration, Major had selected the shortcut for the time it would cut off from their overall mission. Her second in command, Sergeant Lee Daniels, had protested, warning that the area hadn’t been properly scouted, and therefore the unit couldn’t be sure what might await them within the pass. In the end, though, it had been Major’s call, and she was confident in her decision. 

“I trust you completely, Major,” Daniels had said to her before they began the mission. “If you’re convinced this is the right way to go, I’ll follow you.”

The unit had trekked their way through the rocky pass, guns at the ready and eyes constantly scanning the outcroppings for any signs of an enemy presence, but so far, all had been quiet. 

The silence was broken by a deafening explosion ripping through the air, and Major was thrown to the ground. She struggled to regain her senses, ears ringing and vision blurred by dust and smoke. She fought to quell the rising panic surging through her as she tried to visually assess the state of her team.

They had scattered– some wounded, others scrambling for cover through the haze of dust and debris filtering through the air.

Through the chaos, she could hear the sound of one of her men shouting “IED! We’re hit!”

Scrambling to her feet, Major felt her heart nearly pounding out of her chest with both fear and guilt. She was the one who had insisted on this path. She was the one who had dismissed Daniels’ earlier concerns about potential threats in the area. And now, as the dust began to settle, she spotted Daniels, lying on the ground, his body twisted and covered in blood. Somehow, through the madness, his eyes had managed to find hers, and he locked onto her gaze with pain and confusion

“Daniels!” Major screamed as she rushed to his side. She reached down, trying to apply pressure to his wounds, but her hands were shaking uncontrollably. She watched helplessly as blood began seeping through her fingers, staining the tips crimson. “I’m sorry, Daniels. I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, but her apologies were no use.

In his final moments, Daniels’ voice was weak, but still he managed to whisper, “It wasn’t your fault, Major. It happens…” His words hung in the air, hollow and meaningless to her. As she watched, the life drained from his eyes, and his hand went limp in hers.

The next thing Major knew, she was standing alone in a vast, empty desert, the silence oppressive. The sky darkened, and shadows stretched across the sand, morphing into the shape of a man. As the shadows solidified, Daniels' features appeared within them, his eyes filled with the same haunting look of pain… and betrayal.

“Why did you lead us here, Major?” his voice echoes, blending with the wind. “You knew the risks. Was my life really worth saving a few hours?”

Major tried to explain, to beg for Daniels’ forgiveness, but no words would come out. Her mouth moved silently, her throat constricted with grief and guilt. The shadows multiply, surrounding her with an infinite number of Daniels that close in around her, their faces accusing, their voices a chorus of anguish.

“You should have listened,” they chanted. “You should have protected us.”

The ground beneath Major began to crumble, and she felt herself sinking into the darkness. She reached out, desperate to hold onto something, anything, but her hands only grasped at empty air. She was falling, falling into an abyss of her own making, surrounded by the echoes of her mistakes and the faces of the one she couldn’t save.

You woke with a start, gasping for breath and drenched in sweat; the t-shirt of Bucky’s you’d gone to sleep in plastered to your skin. You put a hand to your chest– your heart was pounding so hard, it felt like it might burst from your ribcage. The darkness surrounding you felt suffocating, and as your eyes adjusted to it, you began to panic– this was not your room, and in your anxiety-fueled state, you were convinced you were still trapped in the abyss of your nightmare.

No, you reminded herself. You weren’t trapped in the abyss– you were in Bucky’s room. You were safe. You were someplace where the memory dream could no longer hurt you.

“Sugar?” You felt Bucky sit up next to you and slide his arms around your waist. “Are you alright?”

As the adrenaline pumping through your system began to fade, you were hit with an almost unbearable weight of embarrassment. “Yeah,” you croaked, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. “I’m fine. Go back to sleep, Bucky.”

“Nuh uh,” he said, leaning over to flick on his bedside lamp, and you breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of the receding dark. “I know what a nightmare looks like, doll. Have to say, I’m usually the one waking up screaming from ‘em, though.”

You turned your head to look over at him, and saw no recrimination or judgment in his eyes, simply understanding. “You get them, too?” you asked him, your voice small.

Bucky nodded and reached over to tuck a strand of hair away from your sweat-slicked forehead. “Used to get them every night, when I first got away from Hydra,” he confessed. “Sometimes, my body would wake up, but my mind would still be stuck in the dream. I’d get violent. Hurt myself. Punched Steve once when he had the bad idea of tryin’ to wake me up from one.”

You offered him a small smile that didn’t reach your eyes. “How’d you get them to stop?” you asked.

Bucky’s arm wrapped around your waist as he leaned back against the headboard, pulling you into him so that you were leaning against his chest. “They didn’t,” he admitted. “They’re not nearly so frequent now– maybe one every handful of months, but they’ve never gone away.”

“It’s been a while since I had one,” you told him. “I think… I think sleeping in a different place might have set me off.”

Bucky’s expression turned apologetic. “Oh, doll,” he began, “I’m so sorry– if I’d known, I never woulda insisted on you spending the night here. We coulda gone to your place–”

You shook your head, wanting to dispel him of any notion of guilt he might have. “No, no, Bucky. It’s not your fault. I wanted to spend the night here with you.” You sighed. “How… how’d you learn to deal with them, without letting them drive you crazy?”

Bucky chuckled as he ran his hand up and down your arm, and you could feel the vibrations of it through his chest and against your back. It made you feel warm and safe. “Lily was actually a big help with that,” he said. “She was staying at the Compound for a few weeks while renovations were being done on her house in town, and one night, she heard me havin’ a nightmare. She busted through the door and woke me outta it. Offered to stay with me til I fell back asleep. Some nights, I just couldn’t, so she’d stay up til dawn just talkin’ to me, gettin’ my mind off of it. I think it’s what helped us become such good friends,” he admitted. “She was there for me when everyone else thought I was crazy. Unstable. She made sure I wasn’t alone.”

You felt a twinge of… something at Bucky’s words. While you were glad he’d had someone with him, someone to help him through all of those horrible nights, you couldn’t help but feel envious of the intimacy it would have created between him and Lily, the way she had been there for him and the bond that had resulted because of it. Just acknowledging the thought made you disgusted with yourself.

“I’m thankful you had her,” you told him, choosing to focus on the positive component of his revelation instead of your negative emotions. “I imagine having someone to talk to about your nightmares helped take away some of their power.”

Bucky hummed behind you. “That’s a really good way of putting it, sugar, and I think you’re right.” He kissed your temple. “So, let me be that someone for you, yeah? Let me be the person you talk about your nightmares with, so we can take away their power over you.”

His offer made your chest ache with gratitude and affection. Here he was, offering to create that intimacy, that bond, with you. “Okay,” you whispered. “I’d like that. A lot.”

“We don’t have to start talking about them right now,” Bucky said. “Or even tonight. We’ll do it when you’re ready.”

“Thank you,” you said, turning your head so you could nuzzle your cheek against his chest. “I don’t know that I’m ready to talk about it right this minute, but knowing that you’ll be there to listen? Well, it means a lot to me, Bucky.” “You mean a lot to me, Major,” he clarified. “And I want to spend as long as you’ll let me proving that to you.”

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[rina-writes]

Birthday Trip I

Summary: When Jack invites you on his birthday trip to you are surprised since your “relationship” leaned more casual than romantic.  You’re even more shocked when Jack doesn’t keeps putting off making love to you.  Soon, you can’t help yourself and give him more than a little push to get what you want.

Warnings: Fem!reader, smut (oral!malereceiving, oral!femalereceiving, public nudity, exhibitionism, penetration, it is just filth), 18+ minors DNI

A/N: So, I wanted my next blurb to not be a smut, but uh obviously from the warning you can tell that didn’t happen. Why am I like this?  So, I actually split this blurb into two parts with Birthday Trip II being a fluffy continuation. You don’t need to read this one to enjoy the “sequel” because I wanted to give the non-smut fans something. ♥  

There was something indescribable about seeing Jack on this white sandy beach in Turks and Caicos.  Despite his skin’s aversion to the sun, it looked as if the heavens based his creation off of the sea shore.  His clear blue eyes were the only things that could rival the sparkling turquoise waters.  His skin, sufficiently protected thanks to the biggest bottle of sunblock Amazon  had to offer, was ivory white and glistening.  His chestnut brown curly hair, slightly grown out from his last hair cut reminding you of a mature version of his Sweet Action days, looked golden in the bright sun. 

You were soaking it all in.  Your eyes couldn’t peel away from his toned stomach and large biceps, ping-ponging between the two body parts in a comical fashion.  You had seen Jack shirtless many times, but it was the first time you saw him in swim trunks walking on the coastline of a Caribbean island.  It was like watching a demigod return to his kingdom and truly in his element.  That’s why you felt this burning desire to jump his bones.  The only thing stopping you was the shred of dignity your conscience was gripping onto with both hands.  But every time his swim trunks slipped down with his movements and revealed a bit of his Adonis belt, even your conscience loosened its grip as your entire body needed to focus on not drooling.

Jack didn’t explicitly say “don’t be a horn-dog”, but it was implied in his movements.  For one thing, despite inviting you on this trip, you didn’t have much one-on-one time. Jack’s birthday vacation included his best friend: Urban, his idol: Drake, one of his closest friends: Druski, and a few other people in Jack’s and Drake’s entourage that could afford the semi-spontaneous trip.  There were other girls invited, some of them were unattached and others came as official dates.  You fell into the latter category.  

You and Jack weren’t officially dating though.  You were in that weird in-between of casual sex and a budding relationship.  It started out as flirty Instagram DMs that morphed into naughty picture exchanges over text that not-so-gradually moved to flings in hotel rooms when he was in or near your city.  However, at a certain point, you and Jack stopped using sex as an excuse to reach out.  Soon, you started to spend time outside of the bedroom.  This birthday vacation was the biggest thing Jack had invited you to join him on and you would be lying if part of you didn’t wonder if this could be the start to more.

However, besides the occasional arm tossed over your shoulders, you didn’t feel like you had a special place here.  Jack still tossed his flirty glances at anything with legs and you spent a lot of your time knocking back fruit smoothies branded as cocktails and cycling through every bikini you bought for this trip. At this point, you were so touch starved that you didn’t care about the state of your relationship. That much.  You just wanted to relieve some tension.

You returned to the long white table with your small plate topped with items of your choice.  The buffet of the hotel was stacked with all kinds of goodies and you couldn’t decide which ones you wanted to devour today.  Sugar, butter and salt seemed to fill the void of being in a sex drought.

You sat down in your seat, feeling Jack’s eyes on you. His arm snaked around you waist, his fingertips barely brushing against your hip.  You pretended it had no effect on you as you ripped a piece of your croissant.  Jack did not seem bothered as he continued to talk to Drake about the snake Urban allegedly saw last night.  You had heard the story three times now and were convinced that everyone who saw the creature was too high to be taken seriously.  You were onto your third or fourth pastry when you felt Jack’s lips press to the shell of your ear.  His nose tickled your temple and your nerves were so sensitive that you could swear you felt his curls tickling your scalp. 

“You free today?” He asked, before quickly adding.  “I figure we could hang out on the beach.”

Your mouth was full with carbs, so you nodded slowly.  You felt Jack smile against your cheek and lay the softest kiss there. It left tingles in its wake and gave you butterflies in your stomach.  You smiled, covering your mouth with your hand.  Jack went back to his conversation.  You shifted proudly in your chair, grateful you wore your favorite bikini. 

Underneath your white, billowy, three-quarter sleeve cover up was a hot pink bikini that dipped to show your full cleavage. The bottom hit high on your hips, but sloped down on you abdomen to hit your curves in a flattering angle. The back was a little cheeky, but still tasteful.  You were sure that this would wow Jack and you were glad it was going to be put to good use.  

After breakfast, you went upstairs and fixed up.  You added another layer of sunblock to your body and sprayed an SPF facial spray over your face.  You put back on your cover up and packed your beach bag.  You included both your and Jack’s beach towels provided by the hotel, your sunblock, your sun hat, sunglasses, and, deep underneath everything, a string of condoms folded like an accordion.

“Ready?” Jack asked, coming in. His eyes traced your body from your bottom to top, lingering on the pink fabric peaking through the white cover up.

“Yup, I got your towel.” You said, slinging the bag on your shoulder.

Jack reached out, looping his fingers underneath the straps to slip it off your shoulder.  He gripped it in one hand, letting his other arm wrap around your body. His hand landed on the hem of your cover up, slipping underneath it easily to press against your stomach.  He bent his head down and placed a soft kiss into your neck.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are lately?” His voice was husky and came out in between each subsequent kiss he laid on your skin.  You felt like your whole body was on fire.

“You know I prefer actions over words, Jack.” You said, finding his eyes in the vanity mirror you were standing in front of.

Jack smirked at you.  “Patience, princess.”

You pressed your back side into him, your hips immediately finding his hardened member like a magnet.  You leaned back and Jack bent down to peck your lips.  It was so quick that you were a bit stunned when you were standing alone, Jack already several strides toward the door.  You cleared your throat and walked quickly to catch up with him.

The resort wasn’t secluded, but was semi-private near your villa.  The hotel staff were the only people that walked down this strip of the beach and even that was on an hourly basis if you didn’t ring for them.  This resort  was a popular spot for celebrities because of the level of privacy.  You were excited to use this quiet space to your advantage.  You followed Jack to the two beach chairs under a large, heavy blue umbrella.  You practically skipped to the spot, your smile fading as you got closer.  Much to your dismay, the whole crew was lounging by the beach today.  

“I set up your spot, baby.” Jack said, gesturing to the towel he laid over one of the chairs.

You forced a smile because you were touched.  Just not in the way you desperately craved. “Thanks, sweetie.”

You laid down on the chair, reaching into your beach bag for your sunglasses and your hat.  You could hear Jack sinking down into the chair next to you.  From the corner of your eye, you could see him removing the white tee that left little the imagination.  However, that little bit of mystery was the only thing keeping you together.

“Ah ah ahemm.”  Jack cleared his throat theatrically.  

You couldn’t hide your smile as you looked over at him.  He was waving the sun block bottle at you and gesturing to his back.  You laughed, climbing over to his chair.  You tossed each leg on either side to straddle the furniture.  You took the bottle into your hands and squeezed a generous amount of the thick, creamy sun lotion on to your hands.  You spread it across the width of his back, turning it into a light massage.  Jack gave out small groans as you massaged his neck and shoulders, his sounds only seizing when you slipped your arms around to his front.  You paused to get more lotion before sliding your hands up and down his torso and abs.  You pulled your body close to his, allowing your chest to be flush against his back as you laid the occasional kiss to the back of shoulder and base of his neck.

Jack let out a low growl.  It was so low that you weren’t sure if the others could hear it.  Jack turned his head to the left slightly and whispered, “Be good.  You’re not normally like this.”

You didn’t have to ask what he meant.  You weren’t usually this bold and needy in public.  You were a bit more coy, but for the past couple of days that had gotten you nowhere.  Flirty glances, skimpy clothes and soft touches weren’t turning into anything more than a few kisses.  To be fair, Jack wasn’t normally like this either.  When you both entered a hotel room, you would be pressed to a wall or the bed or over a table before the door clicked closed.  His hot mouth would be leaving open kisses anywhere it could touch while his hands, with assistance from yours, tossed items of clothing that were getting in the way.  He was the one flipping the script.

“Yeah?” You whispered back, your fingers playing with the waistband of his swim trunks, “...neither are you.  If you don’t prove me wrong, I may think you don’t like me anymore.”

“Far from it, sweetheart.” Jack grinned, turning his head to see you more .  “I’m just exercising self-control.”

“Then stop.” You let your lips pop on the “p” to emphasize your point.

Jack stood up and turned in the chair to face you.  He studied you for a moment before his glanced over to his friends who were talking.  He closed his eyes for a beat too long and then smiled at you.

“Turn around.” Jack said, finally.  “It’s your turn, take off your dress thingy.”

“Cover up.” You explained, hiding your disappointment. You thought he would at least kiss you.

“Whatever…” Jack said, making you roll your eyes with a small laugh.  You decided to take it off facing him before turning around.  You saw his sapphire eyes widen, his mouth falling open slightly as he took in your chest.  His gaze dropped to your stomach and hips, unmoving as you flipped around, waiting to see your butt in the same place.

“You’re really testing me, huh?” Jack asked, whispering in your ear as he lathered you with sun block.  “You want all these guys to be staring at you?”

“Mhmm…” You cooed, turning your head to whisper to him.  “I want them to see what’s all yours.  But, somehow you’re still too afraid to take it.”

For a moment, you weren’t sure if you were talking about hooking up or being in a relationship.  Your core said the former, but a teeny part of your heart said the latter.

“Come on,” Jack bent his head to lean forward and kissed your cheek. “Are you saying I don’t take care of you?”

You turned around to stare at him with a coy smirk.  He let his hands drop on his knees, smiling back at you.

“Aren’t you going to do my front?” You asked him.  “I did yours.”

Jack chuckled, handing you the bottle. “Not if I want to avoid embarrassing myself.”  Jack took your hand and placed it  on his lower abdomen, just above his trunks.  He gave you a small, somewhat arrogant nod to signal you to travel further south.  Your hand rested on his crotch and your  eyes widened, realizing that he was rock hard.  You gave it a light squeeze, but Jack trapped your wrist in his large, pale hand before you could go any further.

“No, mamas.” Jack leaned in and pecked your lips.  “Be good.”

Those two words were really starting to annoy you.  You pouted, dramatically returning to your own seat by making a big show of lifting up each leg from around the chair.  You folded your arms and laid down on your chair, holding your frumpy face.  Jack teasingly nudged you with his foot, but you didn’t budge and continued to sulk. It wasn’t long before the sea breeze and warm air lulled you into a nap.

When you came to,  your hat had comically fell in front of your face and your sunglasses were neatly stowed in your bag.  The beach towel you had brought was laid on top of you like a blanket.  You lifted the hat and  saw Jack sitting next to you in his chair reading something on his tablet.  Your eyes looked over to see where everyone went.

“They went over to the pool bar.” Jack explained, making your eyes dart to him. He was smiling at you.  “I think they got bored of a lazy day.”

“Well, I like it.” You stretched.  “Besides, it’s your birthday eve which means you get whatever you want.” 

Jack smiled at you.  “You’re always ready to spoil me.” 

You looked at him for a moment, a naughty smile stretching across your whole face.  You did a look around as you stood up and another as you sat at the end of his beach chair.  Jack quirked an eyebrow at you as your fingers tangled in his leg hair.  Your eyes did not break contact with his as you let your fingers slowly dance up his thigh towards the band of swim trunks.  Unlike before, you let your fingers slip beneath the fabric, hooking it strongly. You leaned forward, your back flat, as you rested your upper body on his legs.  You lifted your head so your chin was hovering over his rock hard member that seemed to be straining to meet you.  Your eyes lazily looked down to his stomach, flat and strong.  They moved up to his chest, one of your hands following your line of vision to entangle itself in his mess of chest hair.  You could feel and see the rise and fall of his chest quickening with his breathing.  Your eyes finally met Jack’s once more.

Jack’s eyes were dark and wide.  His blue eyes that seemed even bluer in this island sun were flickering between you and the other area of the beach.

“Y/n, this isn’t a private beach.” He reminded you. “We could get caught.”

You stuck out your tongue as you slowly pulled down his trunks.  Jack swallowed, hard.  Even if you weren’t staring at him so intently you would have saw it. 

“I just want to spoil you, Jack.” You cooed.  “If you tell me when they’re coming I’ll stop right away.”

“I told you to be good.” Jack admonished you, but he also wasn’t stopping you.  When Jack wasn’t in the mood he was very firm about it.  When he was, he liked letting you take the lead.  At least, for head.

“Aren’t I always?”  You asked, finally pulling down the trunks far enough for his member to spring out. It slapped his stomach causing you both to groan simultaneously. You scooped it up in your hand, pumping it gently.

“The best…” Jack moaned, his hand connecting with his hair, no longer worried about who could see. In a husky voice he added, “...now use that pretty little mouth.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice. You were so excited you practically unhinged your jaw.  You watched him as your throat lowered and engulfed his member, your gag reflex non-existent.  Jack stiffened, his whole body tightening at the view.  

“Oh god…” Jack moaned out, tossing his head back.

Your hands pressed on his thighs, lowering and raising your head at a slow pace. Watching him disappear inside of your mouth over and over again peripherally was enough to turn you on. You resisted slipping at hand between your legs to tease yourself. You wanted to remain focused.

“Can you take all of me?” Jack coaxed you, through his gritted, perfect white teeth.

You nodded making him grunt. He pressed a hand to the back of your neck as you eased all the way down.  Tears pricked your eyes, that gag reflex suddenly coming with a vengeance.  You felt like your throat was going to split.   Jack’s fingers  caught a few tears that rolled down yours cheeks just as your lips met the base of his cock.  Your eyes closed at the tender gesture despite the obscene display.  

“Look at me, baby.”  Jack’s voice was hoarse.  “I need to see those pretty eyes to cum.”

The moment your eyes laid on him, he exploded in your mouth.  You pulled back, afraid you would choke and his hand released you immediately. Jack watched you with concern, your cheeks full with his release.

“Spit, mamas.” He told you pointing at the sand on the beach.  For some reason, that felt wrong to you.  Giving Jack a  blow job in public was fine, but  spitting ou his skeet on this gorgeous white sand, now that was where you drew the line. Go figure.  You swallowed slowly, and once done, you licked your lips.

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” Jack said, shaking his head with a  laugh. He eyes were still clouded with lust. He  sunk down in his chair so that he was fully combined and waved you over with the tips of his fingers. “Come sit on my face, sweetheart.  Get your reward.”

You felt your face warm as you glanced around.  Still no one to be seen.  You crawled up the chair and placed a knee on either side of his head.  Jack, growing impatient, reached up and twisted your bikini bottom to the side to reveal your lower lips.  He stared at your core unblinkingly as he nuzzled it with his nose.  You inhaled a sharp, the cool air slicing through your teeth.  You closed your eyes and tossed your head back.  Jack gave your folds a long lick.  You felt your thighs buckle, but you raised your lower half up to just be above his face.

Jack’s arms slid around your thighs, his hands large enough that his fingers tips brushed at your bottom.  The large biceps you admired before aided him to pull you down to rest fully on his face, his tongue plunging inside of you at the same time.  

“Mmph, no…” You huffed out trying to lift yourself off of him.  “I’m...heavy…”

You could barely get the words of your warning out with Jack thrusting his tongue into your hole.  You didn’t want to crush him. He gripped you stronger keeping you from moving an inch.  His response was clear: he didn’t care.  Your fingers found purchase in his curly locks that were dampened with sweat. You couldn’t bear to look down at him, knowing those clear blue eyes were just watching you.  His lips moved upward to focus on your clit.  He gave it a couple short licks before sucking on it gently.  You let out a shrill moan and Jack’s short, manicured fingernails dug into your butt cheeks.  He did that again and again, each time he sucked on your clit for longer than the last.  

Your body was hot all over.  You felt like you were going to pass out from the heat.  Your core was fluttering with the much needed attention and you knew you were close.  You could already tell you were soaked from the sound of Jack lapping up your juices in between clit sucks.  You could also hear Jack pumping his cock behind and you desperately wanted to reach back and help him.  But you couldn’t control your own body at the moment.  

Your orgasm went from zero to a hundred, ripping out of you in the form of a breathy scream, the grinding of your hips into his face, and a gush of arousal from your core.  Your thighs tensed around Jack’s head and he let out a satisfied groan, the vibrations over stimulating you.  You pulled off of him moving down to sit on his abdomen.  Jack sat up on his forearms, using one to wipe his mouth and just under his nose which were covered in your juices before he did.

Jack was smiling at you, one of those big, smug grins that he reserved for moments he was truly proud. You were still trying to regain your breath, too tired to adjust your bikini bottom.  You could feel Jack’s member, tall and proud, poking your lower back.

“C-Can’t go to waste…” Your murmured.

Jack frowned, but his question was answered when you leaned down just enough to grab one of the condoms from the beach bag.  You fumbled with the packaging and Jack took from your impatiently.

“Were you planning on getting f-cked, Y/n?” He asked you, teasingly, as he struggled with the foil as well.

“Desperately hoping…” You said, your tone still breathless.

Jack ripped the package open with his teeth, his movements more rushed at your words.  You took the condom from him and rolled it on him.  He smiled at  you and you winked at him.  You were treating him after all, you could do this too.  You pressed a hand to his chest and used all of your strength to lift yourself up and place your entrance over him.  You sunk down and you both let out a low moan that only ended when he bottomed out inside of you. 

The moment you started bouncing on Jack, his upper body lifted to press against you.  His lips found yours and you kissed each other deeply.  The lingering taste of each other’s pleasure mixed with your tongues.  This kiss was messy with teeth clashing and tongues struggling to stay intertwined.  It was similar to your thrusts.  You were both trying to match each other’s rhythm, Jack pushing you to go faster from underneath.  You struggled to keep up, still coming down from your high earlier.  The remaining core flutters from your orgasm edged him further.  He placed one hand on your lower back, hooking his thumb on your hip to help you to meet his pace.  His other hand tweaked one your nipple through your bikini top.  You let out a mewl into his kiss and Jack smiled softly.  His thumb rubbed gently circles against the hardening flesh.  

Jack’s lips went down to your neck before quickly kissing down to the nipple he was teasing.  He pushed part of your bikini top to the side to allow one breast to fall out completely.  He watched, mesmerized for a moment, seeing it bounce in front of his face.  Jack opened his mouth and pulled your nipple in, sucking and twirling his tongue around it.  Your core tightened even more around him at the sensation. 

Unable to look at him, you started looking around once more.  It was like you suddenly remembered you were on this beach where anyone could walk up and see you.  The waves crashing on the shore and the warmth of the sun reflecting off the sand were senses that had been drowned out by being surrounded by Jack.  Your attention went back to him as he freed your other breast, both bouncing wildly as he gave your other nipple the same treatment.

“I think I’m done…” You said, holding on to his shoulders, unable to take the sensation. “...it’s too much.”

“Not until I get another orgasm out of you.” Jack said, massaging your breasts with both hands, to free his mouth.  “You wanted this so bad, didn’t you, baby? I have to deliver now.”

He pushed you on your back, pulling out briefly to adjust, before slamming back into you.  He plowed into you so deeply and quickly that your eyes rolled to the back of your head.  You were sure you were drooling, but you didn’t really care.  Jack was swearing like sailor telling how tight and wet you were. Reminding you just how perfectly you fit him and how much he couldn’t get enough of you.  It was what pushed you over the edge and you swore you saw white.

Jack let out the low guttural moan that always signaled his release and you both stilled e in silence.  He turned his head squinting in the distance.  Upon seeing a few figures that seemed to be shaped like his group of friend, he made quick work of pulling out and disposing of the condom.

“Sit up, baby.” Jack cooed as he tossed the tied condom in your beach bag.  “Unless you want to give my friends a show.”

You wanted to sit up.  Your exhibitionism didn’t go this far.  You were just too exhausted.  Jack adjusted your swim suit lovingly before pulling you into his lap.  You wrapped your arms around his neck and rested your face in the crook of neck.  Your eyelids were heavy and you closed them, breathing deeply.  Jack chuckled, grabbing your towel to cover you. You were a little bundle resting on his chest and he couldn’t resist kissing your forehead, even with his friends within view.

In your haze you heard someone ask Jack, “How is she still sleeping? You keeping her up all night?”

You could feel Jack’s laugh rumble in his chest.  “Something like that…”

[samwisethewitch]

Building a Magical Home

One of my favorite quotes about the magic of homemaking comes from Cory Hutcheson, host of the New World Witchery podcast. He says, “Home is a transformational act. It is the thing you do to turn a space into a space… that is full of ritual and significance and meaning. So there is sort of this ongoing relationship you have with the space that makes it a home.”

The act of creating a home, of making a space your own, is inherently magical. But if you want to make your space feel a little more witchy, here are some ideas to get you started.

Charms and Talismans

Making your own magical objects can be a powerful way to bring magic into your space. The best thing about making your own charms is that you can make them look however you want, so it’s easy to disguise them as ordinary household objects. You can make a charm for any intention by combining objects based on their magical correspondences.

I’ve talked about protective charms in previous posts, so I’m not gonna spend a lot of time on it here. The simplest protective charm is keeping a large piece of iron under your bed to keep away nightmares, evil spirits, and negative energy. You could also make your own protection charm, like a witch bottle.

You can create a “happy home” charm to bring peace, harmony, and happiness into your home. This charm could include herbs like basil, rosemary, lavender, peppermint, and/or bay leaves, as well as other items that you associate with peace and good fortune, like lucky coins, crystals, or black cat fur. Write your desires for a harmonious and happy home on a piece of paper, fold it up, and add it to the charm. You could store these items in a green bag, bury them in your backyard (in this case, make sure you’re only using biodegradable plant matter — leave out the coins and crystals), or place it inside a household object like a lamp or an end table.

If you suffer from insomnia or other sleep issues, try making a dream charm to help you sleep well and have sweet dreams. To make a simple dream charm, fill a blue or purple bag with lavender, chamomile, peppermint, and any other objects that you associate with peace, restfulness, and sleep. If you want to have lucid dreams or receive psychic messages in your dreams, include a bit of mugwort. Place the charm in your pillow or under your mattress. (I personally swear by this one, as it’s helped a lot with my insomnia.)

Charms are great for homemaking magic because you’re actually creating a magical object, which can then become a permanent fixture of the space.

Magical Decor

You can use magical items to decorate your home to bring certain qualities into that space.

Hanging or displaying a broom is said to bring good fortune, protection from evil, and good hospitality. Cauldrons are used to represent the Goddess, rebirth, and raw potential. Horseshoes hung above door frames bring safety and luck to all who cross under them, and keep unwanted guests away. If you can get them legally and ethically, animal bones, teeth, claws, and feathers can represent the spirit and energy of that animal. You can also put up images of spiritual and occult symbols — I have an image of the Sun tarot card hanging in my bedroom to promote positivity and growth.

If you need to be a little more subtle with your witchy decorations, working with the magic of color is a great way to do that. Gathering a lot of items of a single color in one room changes the energy of that room. Here’s a quick guide to give you some ideas:

Yellow is associated with divination, mental clarity, the element of air, success, communication, and inspiration.

Purple is associated with divine power, spiritual awareness, mystery, astral travel, magic, and authority.

Blue is associated with healing, psychic abilities, the element of water, peace, truth, and patience.

Red is associated with protection, the fire element, sex, power, vitality, and love.

Orange is associated with ambition, creativity, breaking through blockages, and career success.

Pink is associated with romantic love, friendship, self love, compassion, and emotional well-being.

Green is associated with nature, herbalism, the earth element, money, wealth, prosperity, and luck.

Brown is associated with grounding, animal magic, stability, and balance.

White is associated with purification, cleansing, the full moon, new beginnings, healing, and spiritual growth.

Black is associated with protection, truth, outer space, banishing, and transition.

Decorating your home with colors that are meaningful to you can create a powerful magical space. You may also have your own color associations (for example, yellow is a very “happy” color for me), so feel free to incorporate those into your decor as well!

Growing Magical Houseplants

Most witches feel a very deep connection to nature and draw power from the natural world, but we can’t all live in a cottage in the heart of the forest. Even if you live in a tiny apartment in the city, you can still bring nature into your space by keeping houseplants. Many popular houseplants have magical uses, and many popular magic herbs can be grown inside. Here are a few to get you started.

Aloe. This is one of my favorite plants. Aloe brings luck and protection, especially protection on an energetic/spiritual level. I like to keep aloe in my bedroom to protect me while I sleep, as well as to bring luck and inspiration while I’m working at my desk.

Basil. Basil is very popular in money spells, and will attract prosperity and luck to your home. However, it also has protective properties — both spiritual protection and protection from bugs, since basil is a natural insect repellent! Basil can also be used in love spells, and is just generally a good plant to have around for good vibes.

African Violet. This flowering plant attracts positive spiritual energy into your space. It has associations with the moon and the water element, and is very good for promoting spirituality and psychic power.

Rosemary. Rosemary is one of those herbs that every witch should have on hand. It’s so darn versatile, it can be used as a substitute for virtually any other herb, and can be used for almost any intention. Some of the most common magical associations for rosemary include: cleansing, purification, protection, healing, mental activity, and enhancing memory. According to author Deborah J. Martin, there’s an old English saying that, “Where rosemary grows, the woman rules the house.” Like basil, rosemary is a natural insect repellent.

Lavender. Lavender brings peace, love, and gentleness, which makes it a perfect addition to any home. It can be used in spells for cleansing and purification, enhancing psychic abilities, and stress relief. Lavender is also a powerful addition to love spells. Keeping lavender in the bedroom can aid in restful sleep, while lavender in the kitchen will bring harmony to the home.

Sage. Sage is the most talked about cleansing herb, and with good reason. Unfortunately, a lot of the sage bundles you can buy at metaphysical stores are made with white sage (Salvia apiana), which is sacred to Native American peoples and is endangered due to overharvesting. Instead of buying those, why not grow your own garden sage (Salvia officinalis), which has a lot of the same magical properties? Growing sage in your home will purify the space and protect those who live there. Sage also has an association with wisdom and mental prowess.

Hoya. Hoya is a common houseplant that you’ve probably seen even if you don’t know it by name. It has a distinctive appearance with waxy, dark green leaves and clusters of white, star-shaped flowers. Hoya aligns and balances the energy centers within your body, as well as in the surrounding space. It’s associated both with grounding and with spiritual openness, so it can be great for balancing the two.

Peppermint. Peppermint has a variety of magical uses, but my favorite way to use it is for gently opening up blockages and getting things moving. It’s great for cleansing, but is more gentle than rosemary or sage. Place it in any room where you tend to do a lot of healing work, or where you could use some peace and love. Peppermint is also used in dream magic, so growing it in the bedroom may bring on vivid or lucid dreams.

Orchid. Orchids are used in magic for love and lust. Historically, orchid has been used in folk medicine to promote male virility and “Jezebel root,” used in American folk magic to attract wealthy male lovers, is a type of orchid root. If you live with a significant other, try growing an orchid in the bedroom to promote passion in your sex life. Otherwise, grow orchids in your home to promote love or to attract romance.

Catnip. If you have cats, they’ll love this one. Catnip is actually a type of mint, and has strong lunar associations. It’s said to make one more charming and attractive, and is especially useful for attracting women. At the same time, catnip promotes courage and fierceness. It is also, of course, associated with cats and feline deities, so this is definitely a plant you’ll want to keep around if the cat is one of your animal guides.

If you have a yard space that you can turn into an outdoor garden, your magical plant options are limited only by your local ecosystem. Some outdoor plants that have magical uses include roses, sunflowers, rue, lemon balm, and strawberries.

Creating an Altar

Altars are focal points of magical and spiritual energy. Many people, both witches and non-witches, find that having a designated space for their spiritual practice creates a deeper sense of sacredness and purpose.

An altar can serve lots of different purposes. Many witches use their altar as a magical work space to prepare spells, meditate, and do divination. You may choose to dedicate your altar to a deity, your ancestors, or some other spirit(s) you work with. You can also build altars for specific intentions, such as a money altar or a love altar — performing rituals at this altar everyday is a powerful method for manifestation. You altar may be some or all of these things, or it may just be a place to sit and connect with the spiritual.

You can set up an altar on any flat surface, like a shelf or table, or inside a container like a jewelry box. Your setup can be as simple or as elaborate as you like. An altar can be huge and complex, with statues and candles and flowers, or it can be as simple as a tealight and an incense burner. It’s all about what appeals to you.

Resources:

New World Witchery pocast, “Episode 143 — The Magical Home”

Southern Cunning: Folkloric Witchcraft in the American South by Aaron Oberon

Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham

“Candle colors and their meanings” by Michelle Gruben on the Grove and Grotto blog

Green Witchcraft by Paige Vanderbeck

A Green Witch’s Cupboard by Deborah J. Martin

“The Magic of Orchids in Wiccan Love Spells & Rituals” on the Art of the Root blog

[genshingarbage]

Hiii, Good Morning/Good afternoon/Good evening Mod Kaeya,Mod Diluc^^, It's my first time requesting, Can I request? Angst with any Genshin Impact characters?,Soo The genshin characters are much more spending time with Lumine? Then the reader asks why they aren't spending much time with them and the genshin characters snaps and said the readers are weak ( reader is already insecured because they can't fight) and they have work to do then the reader leaves to fight hilichurl camps and unfortunately there's 2 Mitachurls ,luckly the genshin characters were on time to save the reader? Then they apologized to them? (It's Gn reader^^) sorry if it's alot and sorry if my grammar is wrong you both can disregard this ask stay safe ^^

Good afternoon dear Traveler!! Well done for making your first request! And such a lengthy one too oh my~ Your grammar is fine don’t even worry about it. Sorry for the long wait, Mod Diluc and I have been busy on the Kuzuha banner haha but I hope you enjoy this tear jerking tale (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧- Mod Kaeya

Recommending this song for this oneshot!

Go checkout Anna_drw01 for more art like this!! Here’s her artstation!

The distant scientist, renowned for being hard to get close to was someone you used to consider one of you closest friends. The two of you spent day and night together, hellbent of cracking open every single challenge you possibly could together. Many considered you two to be able to solve any mystery put in front of you together.

The keyword was together.

There was a mystery you yourself couldn’t solve; Why was Albedo’s time with you slowly becoming a rarity?

You’d been wondering why he’d been spending so much less time in the lab he’d meticulously built over years of his life or on site where his precious research was being buried little by little by crystalline flakes, tending to his experiments and recording time sensitive data that would be valuable for months to come for the research team. Albedo had been gone so long both you and Sucrose had designed a plan in order to cover the work he’s left unattended whilst managing your own on top of the store. It was beginning to get concerning. If the leader of the investigation squad was absent constantly then what did that mean for the rest of you? Surely he was only gone for the sake of something important he’d found, something he placed above everything else he was researching. That’s what you lent yourself into believing.

That is, until you saw him with her.

You couldn’t blame him honestly, Lumine was gorgeous. Her golden hair and fiery eyes are what a lot of men probably look for in a partner, even more so was the mystery behind her origins and the raw power she held in her fingertips at any given moment.

You didn’t have to have a vision to be able to tell that.

Maybe that was another thing he sought in her.

A traveling partner that could wield the powers of the elements, a traveling partner that could hold their own against the world. Maybe that wasn’t all he was looking for but also a romantic partner.

He finally came back to the investigation camp briefly one night, it was during a particularly rough blizzard ravaging across Dragonspine and the areas surrounding it a little like a turbulent child tossing snowflakes across already painted, buried monochrome peaks. He trudged into the camp with her rambunctious adventuring party, shouted something over the whipping wind about how they should get warm inside one of the communal tents dotted around the sparse camp halfway up the summit you inhabited and then ducked into the burgundy tent you were working away in with nothing but the clinking of vials harmonizing with the bubbling of flames. It was nothing but candle light right then in the morbid lonely night, only the sounds of the howling gales outside of the ones in your lab. If you’d felt like you were being watched during the night before now, Albedo’s piercing analytical gaze did nothing but soothe the loneliness you’d held inside yourself all night.

“I need a strong multi use Geoculus locator, if we have any.” The blonde said

He must’ve seen your shoulders perk up because he waited patiently as you searched through the shelves upon shelves of prototypes you’ve developed. After somehow finding one, you patted over to him. He seemed pleased with your work, if a bit distant as usual. He was in a good mood so you guessed would be the best time if any to ask. “Sir… with all due respect why have you been away so long?”

Albedo’s pale face was blank as usual though he blinked as if surprised you spoke, “Lumine needed someone with a sufficient Geo vision, I happened to be the one she knew the best to get the job done.”

“So you’ll be returning?”

“I never said that.”

You tried not to take it harshly, this was just how he spoke after all. “…could I come along then?” It was a long shot yes but you still missed his company, if it meant having to deal with him getting buddy buddy with that Outrider then you would suffer. 

It was quiet for a moment between you two as you stared him down and he observed the locator thoroughly. After he was pleased enough with the golden glowing device it was packed away into his back pocket without so much as a second thought, the man was obviously stalling while he thought carefully over the question but the result wouldn’t be to your liking evidently. You were about to make  a point you hoped would be convincing before he spoke, his voice sharp and words cold like the very ice being tossed around the blackened sky.

“No, you’re not a skilled enough fighter so you’d only slow us down more than we can handle to be right now. You’d be useless to us.” He put a hand to his chin for a moment in thought, “If you’d had been able to development a synthetic elemental burst like Sucrose’s swirl mark II…I would have considered but you can’t even do that.”

Watching him leave with them the morning after was torturous, they rushed off into the snowy landscape with barely a goodbye and never a second glance from Albedo beyond that. It stung.

Maybe that’s why when hilichurl camps, specifically ones becoming a nuisance to caravans as well as supply lines along Dragonspine almost avidly to the near point where there would be commissions called in, were brought up in conversation you elected to take a weapon and simply clear them out yourself. You could barely fight one off but usually they were smaller towards the base of the mountain so you figured it would be alright. You would just patch yourself up if you got a bit injured. Surely the pain of the injures would busy your silly little heart long enough to forget about Albedo and his cruel words to you, surely you would barricade your feelings of pining behind walls of broken bones and struggling through the snow. Maybe that was the remedy, the answer you needed to your mystery. Your pleas would probably be hidden by the snowstorms anyways.

Mitachurls unfortunately inhabited bigger camps. Thankfully, Frost Lawlichurls tended to live alone. The former happened to find it’s way to you, charging with the might of a bull on ozmanthys wine. As you were bowled over you heard an abrupt shout, maybe saw a brief flash of familiar golden light as the battle grounds around you erupted further into chaos but it didn’t matter that pale arms were abruptly gripping you to a panicked sword user. Your vision was to blurry, the shouts of attacks and spells too muffled and faint, your body felt too limp to comprehend even the though of moving. You could barely breathe.

Someone was muttering, crouched around you and holding you close, muttering something over and over again. Something important. The feeling of their lips pressed against your forehead, his quiet gut heaving sobs as he rocked you back and forth. Albedo’s pleas for you to just hang on a moment longer—

Where were you again?

There was sunlight and it was warm, a pleasant warmth that almost lulled you back to the sleep you’d fallen into. The only thing that kept you awake was that this was indeed not your bed.

Where were you?

Sitting up hurt, your whole body ached and you were certain something must have been rearranged or was missing because the pain shot through you like an arrow. Your sharp exhale alerted the two others in the room, one who immediately sprinted to get a nurse in an emerald and navy flurry of skirts and capes.

You were dizzy, only steadied by a gentle hand on your limp shoulder. Ah, when did you turn to face him?

The blonde man infront of you asked if you remembered what happened, his voice was soft but didn’t hold any emotion. The smoky circles around his beautiful striking cerulean eyes did nothing but worry you slightly as they implied a long period of time without sleep. You’d imagine him to be the sciency type who didn’t really know what to think of other people so he stayed nose deep in books to pass the time, though there was a deep sadness in the way he held himself you couldn’t understand.

“I don’t…who are you?” You thought you saw him flinch but figured it was a trick of the light.

“No one important, nevermind me.” The man sat up with an unreadable expression even for how blank it had been for this whole brief conversation after you had awoken, getting up from his chair to begin walking to the door when he stopped. “I’m sorry.”

“…for what?” You didn’t understand.

“Nothing that would natter now, please. Rest.”

You didn’t remember.

[stellartales]

main masterlist.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©stellartales

DO NOT REPOST,  TRANSLATE OR USE ANY PARTS OF MY FICS IN ANY FORMS AND CLAIM THEM AS YOUR OWN.

My fics are kept within Tumblr and Ao3 only but if you do see my works outside, please notify me.

▪︎ xiao ▪︎ zhongli ▪︎ tartaglia/childe ▪︎ diluc ▪︎ thoma ▪︎ kazuha ▪︎ albedo ▪︎ chongyun

▪︎ author's recommendations ▪︎ these are the few favorites I enjoyed writing.

zhongli scenario ▪︎ sunlit — on a rainy day in liyue harbor, zhongli found her soaked to the bones, struggling to move along the nearly emptied streets with a feverish forehead; all just to submit a commissioned item.

xiao scenario ▪︎ his earnest heart — in this cruel world, two lonely souls found each other. love, lust, and passion amongst the strong bond they shared blossomed on a fateful night and gave them something they least expected. while it was a hard reality to swallow, xiao was ready to embrace her and the consequence they created.

childe scenario ▪︎ in his silence — an unfortunate encounter with a fatui agent on her way back to Liyue left a gash on her cheek. accustomed to receiving wounds in battles, she wasn't too concerned about it. however, the last person she had expected to bump into upon reaching the city had an entirely different opinion regarding the bloodied cut on her face.

zhongli scenario ▪︎ beloved — rex lapis has plenty of time on his hand ever since he stepped down from his former seat as the geo archon. currently as zhongli the mortal, it is not so rare for him to accompany her on her commissions now and then. over the time spent together, the feelings she harbored for the man were no longer as simple as one would hold for a good friend — it took one interesting commission for her to realize that. if only she knew she was not alone in this.

kazuha scenario ▪︎ first last kiss — the hardest thing about needing to flee from Inazuma was not giving up his home, but a future he had dreamt for them.

▪︎ latest releases ▪︎

diluc scenario ▪︎ midnight embers — on the last night of the Windblume Festival, Diluc found her at the corner of his tavern, very drunk. Carrying her up to a room in the tavern, putting her to bed was all he thought he would be doing.

zhongli headcanon ▪︎ what would Zhongli's offspring be like? (anon request)

▪︎ masterlist

▪︎ author's recommendations ▪︎ these are the few favorites I enjoyed writing.

luke pearce scenario ▪︎ i like you — she knew about the love letters Luke always receives, knew that girls in school swoon over him — but the one thing she doesn't know was that none of this matter to him, because all he ever wanted was her.

dan heng drabbles ▪︎ case study of the trailblazer — stelle

he wouldn't call himself a researcher, but when it comes to things that interest him, he would be reading and studying them up like one. This time, it was the newest member of the Astral Express — Stelle. Somehow in their journey across the universe on the Express, Dan Heng finds himself growing a little too emotionally invested in his secret case study about her than he should.

— This fic is going to be more like a collection of drabbles to show what he notices about her with romantic elements in them.

I have decided to update my DanStelle fic solely on Ao3.

[theravennest]

Let’s Talk About Shang Chi...

I just got back from seeing Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. I had a great time with it. Just a lovely experience.

The fights were dope. The music was rocking. The actors’ performances really sold me on everything. I loved all the Xianxia elements. Y’all know fantasy worlds are my JAM!

But it was the characters that really drew me in. Every one of them were pitch perfect for me. The final act got a little jumbled, imo, but the characters and their dynamics were so good that it was enough for me to completely forgive and overlook the somewhat messy final battle. 

The story had a lot of heart. It was so personal and so anchored in real emotions. I highkey fell in love with all the main characters. I love their journeys and their complex  and grounded relationships with each other. I really liked the movie’s examination of grief, loss, and pain and the lengths people will go to in the wake of being overwhelmed by those feelings.

Let’s dig into it! This is gonna be a whole discombobulated mess, I just know it. lmao

***Spoilers below the cut!***

I really felt for Shang Chi, Xialing, and Wenwu struggling to figure out how to be a family again after they were all broken in different ways by the loss of Mama Ying Li. And each one of them trying in their own way to heal from it, some to extremely destructive degrees. 

How Wenwu treated his kids after being consumed by grief and violence was so utterly messed up but in two completely different ways. 

He treated Xialing like she was anathema, like she was literally nothing. Even when they were older and she had grown into an adult, he barely spoke to her in the entirety of the movie, could hardly even look at her. Partially because she looked like her mom and he retreated utterly from the pain of that, and partially because he constantly underestimated her in favor of her brother. This, of course, seeded the resentful tension between Xialing and Shang Chi from the start.

I’m a real sucker for sibling dynamics, as you all know. They’re my favorite types of family-oriented stories. (Side note, I really love the way the MCU has dedicated several stories to sibling relationships. It’s like my favorite thing in the MCU as a whole.)

I completely ate up the harsh and tricky relationship between Xialing and Shang Chi. Shang Chi completely let her down when they were kids, for her POV. (Not really his fault, he was a scared and traumatized 15 year old. Totally understandable.) But there is something to be said about the fact that she was also a child. A child dealing with her mom’s death too AND her dad’s aloofness. Then she was utterly abandoned by her brother. It’s no wonder she never quite forgives him, even though they mostly team up in the movie. They still have a lot to work out between them.

I really loved that she took on leadership of the Ten Rings at the end. The moment Shang Chi said she was “dismantling” their dad’s empire, I knew what was up. Though, the softy in me does hope that eventually they can find true reconciliation between them. I’m excited to see what we’ll see from her in future movies as a potential enemy of Shang Chi. It’ll be really interesting to see how Shang Chi tackles having to go up against his little sister.

And Shang Chi!!! OMG! Let’s talk Shang Chi and Wenwu now. When Wenwu drop kicked him into the ground and started the blame game for Mama Ying Li’s death like bro!!! I was so heated. He was 7 years old. A whole baby! She died because your thousand years of violence and conquering shit finally came home to roost. 

But that one line when Wenwu said Shang Chi’s 7 year old self “just stood there and watched” while his mom was killed actually revealed so much about Wenwu’s character. (The cutting way Tony Leung, a literal legend, delivered that was masterful, btw.) 

I actually think that it was the first time Wenwu has ever verbalized that he blamed Shang Chi for Ying Li’s death. Like maybe he’s always felt that way and all this time he was partially punishing Shang Chi for what he thinks of as a failure to protect or help the woman who meant so much to them.

Like, yes, he was training Shang Chi to take his place with him in the Ten Rings as an assassin but maybe he also wanted Shang Chi to kill his mom’s murderer as penance for letting her die in the first place.

Of course, it’s clear to see that Wenwu was absolutely shifting his own feelings of conflicting guilt onto his kids. Guilt that his past as a warlord is what got her killed. But also guilt that he put down the Ten Rings in the first place when if he had stayed a warlord, this never would have happened. But also the bone deep knowledge that if he hadn’t put down the Rings, Ying Li might never have stayed with him and loved him in the first place.

When Shang Chi threw it back at him that Ying Li probably wouldn’t love the person Wenwu had returned to, Wenwu looked so shook up. Phew! Perfect emoting from Tony Leung in that moment.

Honestly, Wenwu was having a very tragic and confusing time of it in this movie. Which is probably how that creature from beyond was able to find a crack in his psychic defenses and lure him to the gate. I had a lot of empathy for him even though I disagree so much with what he did to his kids, emotionally.

I really respect the fact that the movie never lost that sense of compassion for all of their feelings including Wenwu. I also respect that the movie really gave them space to grieve not just the loss of Ying Li but also the resulting dissolution of their happy family.

It’s just too bad that Wenwu’s grief made him push his kids away instead of pulling them closer. He completely emotionally abandoned them. A thousand years of power and supremacy yet he was broken because he never in that time fully learned how to process his emotions in a healthier way and his kids paid the price. They could’ve leaned on each other and on the love they found with Ying Li to help them get through but alas that’s the tragedy of the movie. 

I really wanted somehow for Shang Chi to make it through to his dad before he went too far to come back again. I genuinely did not want to see Wenwu die at the end. I wanted him to live and see Shang Chi’s changing dynamic with his father continue. I wanted to see him finally acknowledge his daughter as his true heir and see her accomplishments (dark though they will likely become considering the “softer” version of her is the one that ran an illegal fight club in Macao lmao).

Though I am happy Shang Chi got through to him enough at the end for Wenwu to save Shang Chi’s life, willingly pass the rings onto his son, and somewhat accept his own death after a thousand years of life. That was such a poignant moment between them. And I wonder if in that instant, Wenwu had the thought that in dying he’d at least see Ying Li again.

(Side note: I really hope his soul and the souls of everyone that got eaten were freed when Shang Chi killed the monster. I really want them to be able to move on to the next phase of existence. I really hope they weren’t destroyed after being eaten. I want Wenwu to reunite with Ying Li even in the afterlife, gotdamnit! Sue me, I’m a romantic.)

Let’s talk Simu Liu’s performance here for one second. He was incredible throughout. I completely bought into this strange but so real feeling that while he has a lot of anger towards his father, so much hurt, he also felt a lot of heartache and love for who Shang Chi wanted him to be. And the strange desire to want to help a man who emotionally scarred him so badly.

Simu really brought both sides of Shang Chi’s journey to life. Like, he was tying to find his own path, reconcile with the mistakes he’s made in the past (his sister, killing his mom’s murderer), and facing up against his father’s ideals and expectations. But there was also a side of Shang Chi’s journey that was about finally understand both his sister and his father’s point of views, and of learning/embracing his mother’s history. 

That moment by the lake when he revealed to Katy that he had actually killed the man who killed his mother. Whew boy! The emotions were so poignant. Simu Liu played it like *chef’s kiss* beautiful.

Speaking of character choices, I really rate this decision to have him actually go through with the assassination. It puts Shang Chi in an interesting position emotionally and somewhat morally. Instead of having his breaking point be him unable to kill as his father wishes, it’s instead the feeling of guilt and shame that he actually did kill the man.

I wonder if he felt a sense of satisfaction before the disgust and shame settled in. Because Shang Chi literally watched his mom die, he probably initially wanted to help his father hunt down the man because of that bit of dark need for vengeance. Until he got it, and felt ashamed to fully face his mother’s memory afterwards.

I’m interested to see how future Shang Chi movies and Simu will dig into and unpack that little bit of darkness these events instilled in the character.

Let’s talk Ying Li for a second here. This woman was incredible. An incredible martial artist, for sure, a mystical guardian and warrior...but she was also just an incredible person in general. Mama Ying Li was so self-assured, so steadfast in her convictions. She struck me as someone who knows exactly what she wants and is never afraid to reach for it.

Fala Chen portrayed her with such grace, warmth, and strength of character. It was extremely easy to see why Wenwu fell in love with her. She met Wenwu, a literal thousand year old warlord, and through shear strength of character led him to put down his weapons and his empire to make a home with her.

This man threw away his entire shadow army of assassins, threw away his whole plan to literally demolish her village in the pursuit of power...in order to play Dance Dance Revolution with her and their kids. (The highlight of their romance and the family flashbacks, for me, tbh.) 

And I know it’s not necessarily...positive BUT there is something...hmmmm, crunchy in the fact that Ying Li so completely altered Wenwu’s life by simply loving him that when she died he was willing to raze the whole world to get her back, damn the consequences.

Trying to properly explore toxic and negative turns in previously loving family dynamics is such a difficult task to take on. I really liked the complexity of the Xu family. All the actors really sold the family side of things. It was an almost tangible thing how much you could see how the love they felt had turned bitter and painful over the years.

The final battle was epic and mind blowing (There was a fucking DRAGON flying around for gods’ sake!) but I do wish it had stayed a little more grounded for longer in the beginning of it when the Ten Rings were fighting the Ta Lo warriors. I wanted to see more of that fight before they had the turn to becoming temporary allies against the soul suckers. It became a little too much of a CGI mash, for me, in some parts of it.

Still, the emotional beats held and the core of the story of this grieving family trying to hold on to the tatters of their world stayed consistent even through the final battle. I can forgive a lot because of the strong sense of character and connection there.

Plus, it’s a comic book movie. Spectacle is the name of the game and at least this one had cool fantasy beasts and dope fight choreo. 

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. Let’s wrap it up here. Suffice it to say, I had a wonderful time with this movie. I’m ready for the next one!

[shtern-and-art]

"Skeppy will probably cry" "Bad will probably cry". Bish, screw, that I am crying!!!

This whole thing was bloody gorgeous and I wasn't expecting that ending. I had no clue what ending to expect but that was definitely better than any I could have hoped for. Forest spirit to soulmate your honour!

I was terrified that you were gonna leave it at the point where he loses the spirit and becomes mortal again. If you had I would be actively sobbing!!!! And oh my god, the art!!! I still can't get over how wonderful your style is.

Imma ask fun things because if I don't I'll sit in a puddle of emotion all night:

What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it? Poor Skeppy trying to answer 101 questions about something he doesn't really use XD.

Is no one concerned that the odd couple from a town they never name has a pet wolf??

Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while. Find hidden creeks and befriend bears?

Does Bad still have a connection to nature and animals, like are creatures naturally more trusting of him?

Do they ever visit the og town again?

Does Skeppy still cause absolute chaos in other towns or has he learnt his lesson and only causes minor trouble now?

Does Bad ever try and study again? If he did what would he study and would Skeppy try to study as well?

Does Skeppy steal? I dunno, he just give off the vibe of a naughty lil trickster who'll pocket something if the owner refuses to sell it him.

Immediately after leaving the forest what the first 'argument' they have (not including the car one)?

Would they ever ride horse? If yes, how terrified would Skeppy be?

Skeppy falls outta tree. I don't know why but my mind keeps telling me that this man has great balance until he climbs trees. They are his mortal enemy and Bad finds this both hilarious and terrifying because he is going to hurt himself.

I had waaaaay more questions than I intended to have. My bad '^_^ but this story was way too much fun to read and you are entirely to blame for making it so engaging!

Make sure to take care of yourself and do stretches after and during drawing. You don't wanna hurt yourself <3

AaaaI’m so glad you liked it! :D And, dang, man, I cried while writing that part too :D

And I promised a nice ending for the main story, I did, and this one also makes the most sense narratively! For the story I wanted to tell, at least. Bad can’t really become human again, he’s changed to much. He can only move on, and do something with what he is, and has. And he did! :D That’s really nice and inspiring, this story will always have a place in my heart, heheh <3

Being a guardian spirit connected to a person and all, Bad may be not as strong as before, but he can’t die unless Skeppy dies first. And Skeppy can do that, but he’s pretty sturdy, and his lifespan operates on a whole other scale than human ones. And Bad knowing Skeppy’s real name balances it all out, makes them equal in the power and influence they have over each other.

So hellyeah, soulmates for the win :DDD

I’ll answer all questions under the cut, and this close up from one of the pages!

1) What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it?

Probably a pager! Because it’s a more feasible thing to get than a wholeass computer Bad actually wanted :D An it means Skeppy will have to get one too, and that Bad will be having the time of his life texting him and everyone he can get a number from, even if they’re still in the room with him.

Poor Skeppy indeed, he can learn to appreciate the pagers, and later phones, too, and computers, but he really has 0 idea on how it all works and why Bad is so fascinated by it all.

2) Rat and regular people

Oh, she can shapeshift, just like Bad! If they’re out with people around, she takes form of a puppy, and Bad can pass her off as a weird mix breed rescue doggo.

3) Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while?

Oh, since they have no end destination in mind, they can ride around for a bit, go visit some cool places and roadside attractions. Sadly, Skeppy is probably not spiritually or morally ready to full on befriend wild bears yet, and they do need money for gas and snacks. So, at some point they will have to stop somewhere and find work – at least for a bit, to save up. Life’s gonna be a bit complicated with all that, until Skeppy figures out his treasure-finding abilities :DD

4) Bad and nature and animals

He is definitely still in tune with all wildlife! Even more – Bad could become a proper guardian spirit for Skeppy in part because, in a way, Skeppy himself is part of the nature.

So yeah, Bad can understand animals (and plants) and communicate with them; they’re just more free to not take his shit, and Bad’s emotions do not “possess” them unless he makes an effort to do so.

He doesn’t like doing it, tho.

5) Do they ever visit the og town again?

Hm, I think they will completely forget about it for a while, until, like, 30+ years later they will be going somewhere, and find themselves around those parts. And they try to not appear too often in the areas they’ve spent a lot of time in already (they can be pretty recognizable, and also barely show signs of aging). But it’s been a long time, and the town’s really different now… So they make a stop, and spend a day there. They walk the unfamiliar streets between the new buildings, check out the popular hiking trail, the advertisements for hot springs and winter activities. The old cinema is still there, and is hosting an all-night marathon of classic horror movies of the last century.

Bad and Skeppy leave the town after sunset – the day was nice, but they have nothing more to do there. They ride through the forest on a well paved road, with radio playing something barely above the whisper. And in the dark of hot summer night, Bad can see the white stag running between the trees alongside their car. Shadows dance over the shimmering light of it’s fur.

Somewhere after the towns border, the stag disappears back in the forest. But the air in the car stays light and fresh, saving the smell of old pines and dry leaves all though the night.

6) Skeppy and chaos

Well, after the whole mess in the main story, Skeppy definitely learned some lessons, especially about not being a dick :D

But the thing is – he can’t really help the fact that things tend to stir up around him a lot. He naturally brings in chaos into everything, because he is, in part, a personification, or an outlet for it in the world. And so, to feel, well and good, and himself Skeppy gotta do stuff that disrupts balance, and creates some mayhem. And in gave him a lot of trouble in early life, but in the course of the main story he learned that he can chose were he lets that chaos to take hold, learned what can come of that chaos, apart from utter misery.

Like, where it can help dismantle something destructive, and where – bring in the more positive change, that was already brewing, possible, but is stagnant for some reason.

Soooo, I can’t say Skeppy causes only minor chaos in his life, but he sure learns even more about not being a dick :DDDD

7) The studying

I think Bad will want to get a higher education at some point, because he wanted to, and because it’s already new millennia and all that. Bet he’ll go for something very technical and/or literature. Maybe he’ll start by piking up some classes in small time colleges, when they stop in one place for a while, and later get into an online program, because why not.

Skeppy is not a college guy at all. He’ll listen to Bad talk about it, read textbooks if he wants to, can research stuff, buuut going to classes and doing homework is definitely not his thing.

8) Stealing

Well, you’re right, Skeppy can and will steal stuff out of spite! And will be scolded by Bad for it, and will not feel (that) sorry about it. But real stealer between them will be Bad himself :D

It’s just… he has the corvid tendencies, and a hoard (a box) of sentimental mementos from different people and events, and the thrill of stealing something small and harmless is very exciting. Bad is very proud of his little collection. Skeppy finds it very adorable, a bit hypocritical, and kinda creepy. Like, that pretty box he gifted Bad at some point is now full of stuff like:

- pressed flower from the clearing they had a picnic at on their anniversary

- the button the waitress lost that one day the storm caused a black out in the whole town

- some small animal bones

- couple pretty rocks Bad stole from Skeppy’s pockets

- penny that was once glued to the ground

- a handful of teeth people (and not people) lost in fights with Bad

- pen from some fancy hotel

- rainbow dash keychain that belonged to a child

- the list goes on

9) Argument

Oh, that same day they’ll fight over whether they should stay at the really crappy and suspicious looking motel, or go sleep in a perfectly fine forest near the road. Ironically, Bad wanted to try out the motel (because, yay, first time spending the night back in civilization), and Skeppy was the one insisting on sleeping in nature (because the motel looks like it could give you 10 diseases if you even stand near it, and sleeping in the forest is kind of nice, and means they can cuddle).

10) Horses

The guys will probably ride them at some point. Well, Bad will ride, and Skeppy will sit on his horse and hope it knows what to do and where to go, because trying to make this giant thing do something seems dangerous. If they’ll have to actually go somewhere fast, Skeppy will not survive that day, his butt (and legs) will be dead for days to come.

And riding with Bad on one horse may sound romantic and nice, but all romance dies when the gallop starts.

F.

11) Skeppy and climbing

Skeppy is more down to earth kind of guy, more of a “rocks and caves” kind of creature, real-life lizard person or something. Up on the trees and in the air – not really his element, yeah. But it doesn’t mean that Skeppy will accept this fact easy. The embarrassment of never managing to safely make it down a tree is too strong, he just has to do it all over again, and again. And again. Because, clearly, he was distracted this time. And the time before that Bad was teasing him, and it “disrupted his flow”. And, really, maybe these trees here just do not like Skeppy much, and make him slip a lot. Yeah.

So, more often than not, if Skeppy climbs a tree, he will not stop climbing it until he falls, or the tree ends. Bad had to take him off high branches couple times, forcefully, because, of course, Skeppy was sitting there for 2 hours just to properly enjoy the sunset. He can climb down at any point, he just Choses not to. The view is amazing. The bark is literally part of his skin now, not because he holds on tight, no, he’s just Than Much one with the nature )<

---

Don’t apologize for the questions! It’s always so fun to answer them, and it makes me think more about stuff I may have skipped, or didn’t think about before. It’s really nice :3c

Again, thank you for the ask, and for being here for this story! <3

(And I’ll try setting timers for rest breaks while I draw, mb that will help)

---

In The Dark - masterpost

[entishramblings]

Nothing [Thranduil X Reader]

A.N: Hey guys! So this was originally requested for Thranduil ~maybe~ as a father figure, buuuuut I left it open to interpretation as it could also go romantic hehe :)

Request: anon — Hello! I love your writing! Would you write something with Thranduil and a depressed fem!reader? Maybe with Thranduil as a father figure?

Pairing: Thranduil X Depressed!Reader

Summary: (Y/N) is depressed and Thranduil comforts her

Word Count: 936

Warnings: depression, fluff

(gif not mine)

MASTERLIST | AO3

(Y/N) stood by the open window of her chambers, letting the echoes of thunder roll across her skin and vibrate through her blood.

But it did not make her feel.

She allowed the freezing rain to blow upon her form, drenching her body and tangling her hair into a wet monstrous mess.

But it did not make her feel.

She permitted the howling wind to pierce her eardrums and invade the dark crevices of her mind.

But it did not make her feel.

Nothing did.

(Y/N) let out a shaky breath as the swirl of numbness continued onwards, entrapping her soul in darkness.

How much longer could she go on like this?

She was the King’s advisor—sworn to delicate negotiations and aggressive war plans. She had to be rigorous and attentive for this job, but all she could manage were feelingless motions, empty smiles, and joyless eyes.

No longer did she have sympathy.

No longer did she have satisfaction.

No longer did she have determination.

No longer did she have any will.

She was an empty shell ripping at the seems—dejected and desperate.

Therefore, when the pounding on her door sounded and the King’s demanding voice called to her, she didn’t move. Instead, she let the elements continue to beat upon her form and pour into her soul.

Nothing truly mattered in the end, so what was the point?

“(Y/N)!” Thranduil’s voice called once again.

But she did not answer and the sound faded away into emptiness.

If the elleth had bothered to listen to the continuing banging and hollering, maybe she would have heard the twisting of the lock and the creaking of the door. However, she did not.

She was unaware of another’s immediate presence until a warm hand landed upon her soaking skin. And suddenly, the noise of nature was no more, for some harsh force ripped her away from the open window and slammed the intricate glass shut.

Muted they now were—the thunder, rain, and wind. Caged just as she was, but making no move to force the now quieted chambers.

“(Y/N), by the Valar, what are you doing?!” A breathless voice stated with anger.

The elleth frowned as her gaze landed on Thranduil. He stood before her with rain upon his velvet red robes, porcelain-like skin, and straight light hair. His blue eyes pooled with an inquiring and inquisitive nature as he examined her—trying to figure out the strangely clouded gaze upon him.

“You are soaked to the bone and lifeless of concern,” he commented.

She did not answer.

Thranduil clenched his jaw and spoke with force. “Will you not respond to me—to your king?”

At his words, realization crept into (Y/N)’s mind. She cleared her throat and shook her head. “My apologize, My Lord. What is it you need of me?”

Yet, he did not answer her question. He stepped forward, tilting his head and furrowing his brows.

A moment of silence passed before Thranduil spoke her. “What is it that haunts your soul?”

She clenched her jaw and sucked in a deep breath as she turned away from him. “Nothing, My Lord.”

The King scoffed, “Do not lie to me. I have been alive much longer than you.” He paused, “Tell me.”

(Y/N) shook her head and made her way across the room to the crystal cups and forest bottles.

“There is nothing wrong, I assure you.”

She poured the maroon liquid into a glass and brought it to her lips. But before the drink could invade her mouth, it was snatched from her grasp.

Two hands clamped firmly upon her shoulders and spun her around—forcing her to look at him.

Thranduil spoke again, “Letting the fury of a storm batter your skin is not nothing.”

(Y/N) attempted to averted her eyes, but the King ducked his head to catch her gaze.

“I have seen elves fade into nothingness. I know the signs,” he whispered.

The elleth’s lips began to quiver and her orbs began to pool with salty water, for she could not hold it back any longer.

“I...I—”

But her words were stolen by the pain inside her heart.

A loud sob escaped her throat, then another, and another. Her eyelids squeezed shut in attempt to hold back the tears, but they ran freely across her face. With parted lips and brows pulled together, every last wall within her broke.

“Hush now. It will be alright,” Thranduil stated softly for he did not expect such a reaction.

He pulled her soaking form against his own and weaved his muscled arms around her. She allowed him to do so; quite frankly, she welcomed it for she desperately needed any kind of comfort.

(Y/N) buried her head into his chest and clenched the fabric of his robes. A soft kiss was pressed against her head before she felt her body being hoisted upwards—a warm grasp upon her thigh and a tight curl around her waist. The King carried her to her bed and gently sat down on the soft mattress, keeping her safe in his lap. Her body shook with misery as pain consumed her. She did not release her tight hold on him either—clinging on for dear life. Thranduil could feel her grasping his blonde hair in her fist, tugging it slightly, but he didn't mind. Instead, the king continued to smooth her locks, letting her weep in his arms. He pulled a soft fur blanket around her form while whispering soothing words to console her.

"I've got you."

....

Everything Tag: @sokkasdarling @scxundress ??? @quilledinkpen ??? @hufflepuffinblr @lea----b @aredhel-of-gondolin @princecami @the-fandoms-georgie @jazziwritestolkienprimary @swimming-in-stardust @elvish-sky @red-riding @brun-lieve

Thranduil tag: @tiefliing @moriamithril @veilfirxs @of-mirkwood @themerriweathermage @artsywaterlily

If you want to be in a taglist just lmk!

Also looks like some of you had username changes. If you still wanna be on a taglist lmk what your new username is!

[elisaenglish]

“Don’t expect me to be sane anymore. Don’t let’s be sensible. It was a marriage at Louveciennes—you can’t dispute it. I came away with pieces of you sticking to me; I am walking about, swimming, in an ocean of blood, your Andalusian blood, distilled and poisonous […] I saw you as the mistress of your home... woman, woman, woman. I can’t see how I can go on living away from you—these intermissions are death. How did it seem to you when Hugo came back? Was I still there? I can’t picture you moving about with him as you did with me. Legs closed. Frailty. Sweet, treacherous acquiescence. Bird docility. You became a woman with me. I was almost terrified by it. You are not just thirty years old—you are a thousand years old.

Here I am back and still smouldering with passion, like wine smoking. Not a passion any longer for flesh, but a complete hunger for you, a devouring hunger. I read the paper about suicides and murders and I understand it all thoroughly. I feel murderous, suicidal. I feel somehow that it is a disgrace to do nothing, to just bide one’s time, to take it philosophically, to be sensible. Where has gone the time when men fought, killed, died for a glove, a glance, etc? (A victrola is playing that terrible aria from Madama Butterfly—”Some day he’ll come!”)

I still hear you singing in the kitchen—a sort of inharmonic, monotonous Cuban wail. I know you’re happy in the kitchen and the meal you’re cooking is the best meal we ever ate together. I know you would scald yourself and not complain. I feel the greatest peace and joy sitting in the dining room listening to you rustling about, your dress like the goddess Indra studded with a thousand eyes.

Anaïs, I only thought I loved you before; it was nothing like this certainty that’s in me now. Was all this so wonderful only because it was brief and stolen? Were we acting for each other, to each other? Was I less I, or more I, and you less or more you? Is it madness to believe that this could go on? When and where would the drab moments begin? I study you so much to discover the possible flaws, the weak points, the danger zones. I don’t find them—not any. That means I am in love, blind, blind. To be blind forever! (Now they’re singing “Heaven and Ocean” from La Gioconda.)

[…]

While it thunders and lightnings I lie on the bed and go through wild dreams. We’re in Seville and then in Fez and then in Capri and then in Havana. We’re journeying constantly, but there is always a machine and books, and your body is always close to me and the look in your eyes never changes. People are saying we will be miserable, we will regret, but we are happy, we are laughing always, we are singing. We are talking Spanish and French and Arabic and Turkish. We are admitted everywhere and they strew our path with flowers.

I say this is a wild dream—but it is this dream I want to realise. Life and literature combined, love the dynamo, you with your chameleon’s soul giving me a thousand loves, being anchored always in no matter what storm, home wherever we are. In the mornings, continuing where we left off. Resurrection after resurrection. You asserting yourself, getting the rich varied life you desire; and the more you assert yourself the more you want me, need me. Your voice getting hoarser, deeper, your eyes blacker, your blood thicker, your body fuller. A voluptuous servility and tyrannical necessity. More cruel now than before—consciously, wilfully cruel. The insatiable delight of experience.”

-Henry Miller, Letter to Anaïs Nin (14th August 1932)-

Whilst there are elements of Miller that simply fail to sit in consonance with my romantic sensibilities, I do appreciate these passions of his in epistolary form. His part-incestuous, part-feral—and oft-quoted out of context—declaration from Sexus, “Show her to me—I want to lick the flesh from her bones,” has its desperate genesis in lines like these. In telling Nin of frantic love and earthquakes wrought from skin and blood, trembled to the bone.

In a prior missive, he writes of her longed-for return, the promise of “one literary fuck fest” he’s wont to give—to her, just her—for “Lying on top of you is one thing, but getting close to you is another” and “Everything hangs on tomorrow” because her letter maybe comes.

Stripped to aching turns of phrase, distilled to raw imagination, he paints his want with candid strokes: “...sitting here writing you with a tremendous erection. I feel your soft mouth closing over me, your leg clutching me tight, see you again in the kitchen here lifting your dress and sitting on top of me and the chair riding around over the kitchen floor, going thump, thump.” Visceral to the point of purity in one sense, ragged with disdain for the pallid veneer of polite sex in another, he attains the elusive and artful balance of a man who understands the power of a well-placed “cunt”.

Of course, anyone who’s in touch with themselves already knows that an orgasm awakens above the neck not below the waist—and perhaps I’m being overly generous to Miller by virtue of the fact that I find it interesting that he uses “groin” as a verb. But still, I tend to forgive the less nuanced aspects of his prose and sometimes it is the only necessity of a grander symbiotic bond—to give, or receive, that rare, unfiltered lust; the words that bloom a mind and turn one’s limbs to liquid.

Nin, for her part, is unbound. Reminiscent of Virginia Woolf’s epiphanic flood of swollen “significance”—and far from her shallower offerings in Delta of Venus—she writes of consummation, that of body and craft, thought and tangibility. “This is strange,” she laments. “...[A]s soon as I came home from all sorts of places I would sit down and write in my journal. Now I want to write you, talk with you.” Her consciousness stirs to a heightened state; it becomes “symphonic” and “I am so aroused by living... Before, I almost used to think there was something wrong. Everybody else seemed to have the brakes on. I never feel the brakes. I overflow. And when I feel your excitement about life flaring, next to mine, then it makes me dizzy.”

Thus is falling, thus is flight. And I know, adultery is so foreign a concept to this heart of mine—and no, I’m not built for fleeting. But the feeling remains: rough-hewn, beautiful; this yearning man, entirely uninhibited. Imperfect, yes. Yet more—adored in spirit.

I sigh. Desire is this writer’s life, semantically unfurled.

[mrpenguinpants-alter-ego]

Kaeya: Frostbite

This was suppose to be an offering to Albedo but I don’t know anything about him so I ended up writing him as a more laidback Kaeya. Halfway through I realized so that’s why my tags are like that. Here’s your 2k words of cake. 

I’m back :DD My first fic is on Albedo Kaeya tho haha. I don’t really want Albedo since I’m saving for Xiao (but if he wants to come I ain’t complaining, he’s vv pretty) so here is my offering birthday gift before 1.2. I saw the cold weather effect for 1.2 and my breath of the wild ptsd kicked in. Is it gay to hold hands with your significant other as an excuse to not freeze to death? 

btw I have a taglist. If you want to be added see pinned post for details.

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Kaeya: Frostbite 

Trying to find a way into Inazuma didn’t seem likely considering the Electro archon’s distaste to visions and causing a region-wide lockdown. So the next option was to travel through Dragonspine. There had been a few disturbances noted from the Adventurer’s guild but due to the harsh climate of the snow-touched region, not many adventurers were willing to set foot near the mountain. Albedo, the Captain of the Investigation Team and Chief Alchemist, however, knew no bounds for research and discovering the “truth” of the world. This is probably why by the time you found out that one of the Favonius Captains was in Dragonspine that could serve as an excellent travel companion/guide, he had already departed for the mountain weeks ago. 

“Why don’t you ask Kaeya to take you?” Jean recommended, smiling gently at your wilting state, “Mondstadt has been quiet lately so it shouldn’t hurt to have two missing Captains for a short while.” 

Kaeya? Well, it was true that he didn’t have cavalry to command considering Grand Master Varka had taken all of them for an expedition. Would it be alright to do that? Wouldn’t the Fatui try and start something with the infamous captain away?

“If you’re worried about the Fatui it’s alright. With the event in Liyue and the role of the Fatui Harbinger, they’ve been very skittish to start anything” Lisa laughed from her spot beside Jean. It always scared you how Lisa seemed to be a mind reader. Did alchemist secretly pick it up as a hobby or was Lisa just that scary? Both were equally correct possibilities. 

“He’s starting to miss you because you’ve been away from Mondstadt for so long. Jean and I can take care of things should something happen. Go meet up with him before his mood sulks even further. Even I’m starting to feel bad” Lisa smiled, waving you off to go find said Calvary Captain. 

---

While a pyro user would be better to travel within hindsight, Diluc was busy with the winery and Amber wasn’t used to the harsh climate of Dragonspine. That left Kaeya, who had been to Dragonspine before having met with an owl. You weren’t entirely sure what significance the owl of Dragonspine had but knowing Kaeya, it could either be a wise creature or an ordinary snow owl. He was a cyro user and while that didn’t necessarily mean he was immune to the frost, he was at least in his element. You couldn’t ask Diluc to set the ground on fire and burn to death and besides, the climate was too cold for grass to burn. Plus Jean did recommend him plus you were interested in this “sulky” version of Kaeya. 

“Dragonspine? That’s quite a jump from the noisy harbour of Liyue. May I ask why the sudden change?” Kaeya smiled easily when you approached him. You were surprised he already knew what you wanted to ask but maybe Mondstadt had the same idea as Liyue, that all the walls talked. 

“Ah, I heard that there have been some unknown issues there so I wanted to see if I could help. Albedo already left so Jean recommended that I travel with you to meet him since you’ve been there before” you explained trying to stifle the laugh bubbling up as he pouted a bit.  

“So I’ve become Plan B then? I thought we had quite a close relationship and yet you’re asking me to accompany you to see another man” 

“Kaeyaa...” you sighed at him, so this is what Lisa meant by a sulky Kaeya. 

“I’m just teasing,” Kaeya ruffled your hair as he stood up from his chair, “Mondstadt’s been quite boring lately. Shall we depart?” 

---

While you knew that Dragonspine wouldn’t be an easy adventure after spending so much time in the comforting warm weather of Liyue, it wasn’t an easy experience to suddenly switch temperatures so 180. The snow made it hard for your boots to trek through and while the snowflakes were pretty they made your body temperature plummet. Your hands were cold as you started to slowly lag behind Kaeya busy trying to keep your hands warm. It wouldn’t be awhile before the next torch so you just needed to toughen it out. How the hell was Kaeya fine in this kind of weather?

“What's wrong? Can't handle the cold?” Kaeya called over his shoulder before pausing in his step studying your shivering form, “Are you alright?” 

“J-Just fine” you breathed out trying to warm your hands a bit more, “Really, I’m alright. Just a bit cold-

As if the cyro goddess herself was mocking you a strong gust of cold wind flew past you two, ripping the buttons off your coat and freezing yourself to your core. You squeaked as whatever warmth you had was chased out and replaced with the harsh bite of frost as it slowly crept up your sides before two fingerless gloves quickly closed your coat and embraced you to a warm chest

“Be careful, frostbite is dangerous” Kaeya teased even though his eyes shone with concern as he nudged your head under his chin, trying to block the wind with his back, his hair wiping in the wind tickling your face “It’ll damage your skin and tissue. Do you feel any pain? Numbness?” 

He unwrapped his white fur cloak from his shoulder and wrapped it around your neck. You’ve never really seen Kaeya express this kind of concern before. Did his cyro vision accidentally hurt him before? You don’t recall Mondstadt ever facing harsh winters. He paused before taking one of his gloves off, breathing into his hands to warm them, despite your protest. 

“Haha, sorry. My gloves aren’t the best to keep warm but hopefully, it’ll be enough,” he chuckled lightly as he slide your hands into them. His fingerless gloves might keep his palms warm but his fingers were cold as he cupped yours in his bare hands. But as a cyro user, he was probably used to it since that was how he channeled his vision. His blue-lilac eye shined in amusement as he flicked a small snowflake landing on your cheek. 

“Feeling any better?” he asked as you quickly shook your head. For how lax Kaeya seemed it was always a bit of whiplash to see him so concerned. He nodded quickly as the wind began to settle down before he slowly let go to slightly peel open your coat to see the damage. 

“Aren’t you cold? I swear I’m alright” you quickly assured but Kaeya ignored you as he brushed the side of your shirt up to see small snowflakes melting away. 

“It’s just snow, nothing too different from what I’m used to,” he muttered to himself as he brushed away the snowflakes on your waist, before wrapping you in your coat and re-buttoning your coat, “Are you cold anywhere else?”

“N-No” you answered quickly, this was not good for your heart. Where had this version of Kaeya come from? Was he always like this? “Well, I guess my hands are a bi-” 

He brought your hands up to his face as his cheeks warmed your hands as he ran his fingers over yours. Trying to transfer his heat to you as your cheeks started to flush redder and redder. He huffed amused under his breath which only served to make the red flush further down your neck. 

“Sorry, not a pyro user so this is the best I can do” he laughed lightly at your embarrassed expression. You knew it, he was teasing you this entire time. In sub-zero temperature where you both could die at any time. 

“I’m fine. Really” you pouted, at this point, you were sure you might be overheating. He chuckled at your flushed expression as you tried to unlatch your hands to cover your face as he leans his forehead against yours. 

“If you ever need me, let me know. Let's not make this a transaction relationship” he smiled smugly as you glared at him. Not that it was intimidating at all.  

“Fine, understood” you huffed as he ruffles your hair again before diving his cold fingers to the sides of your neck making your shriek as he dodged your failing arms. 

“Come on, let's get moving. We're not frozen in place, after all. As much dying here with you seems romantic, dying from the cold with a cyro vision is just embarrassing” he called over his shoulder smirked as he began walking away to the next waypoint. 

“Kaeya...”

“Sorry sorry”

---

You sighed in relief as you held your hands to the small torch just inside a cave. Away from the wind, away from the snow, and away from the cold. You could slowly feel the your muscles warm up and finally move without feeling that your bones would snap in half. You looked up at your surroundings, you never expected the giant mountain of Dragonspine to be so hollow with walkways and arches. It was really quite beautiful with all the blue ice hovering over you. Hopefully the wouldn’t break should you need to walk over them or worse, make you slip and fall. 

“Are you feeling better?” Kaeya asked as he eyed your bundled up form. His fur cloak was still wrapped tightly around your form as you breathed into your hands. He suspects that you forgotten about the cloak but he liked seeing you wear it so he never asked for it back. 

“Oh yes, so much better” you sighed out happily from your little warm bubble. 

“Just let me know if you’re still cold alright?” 

“Understood” you grinned, giving a small salute to the Captain. There’s a small pause as he nods again at you. You blink a couple times at him before Lisa’s words ring in your mind. You flush as you quickly wave at your cheeks trying to fan away the red. You shuffle a tiny bit on your feet before taking a quick look at Kaeya. 

“Um, Kaeya.”

“Yes?”

“My hands are a bit cold. So...”

“Yes?”

You pout at him. 

“Could you...”

“Could I?”

You glared at him as his chuckles slowly turned to laughter 

“Alright alright, don’t need to be so mad. Come here” 

You grinned as he held his hand out for you to take.   

[asian-hero]

You are literally the best at writing angst, your fics make me feel some typa way. Can I request a todoroki shoto fic where him and reader are dating and he’s a prohero and she’s a doctor. And shoto is absent a lot bc of work and s/o gets sad bc she feels the relationship is 1sided. They fight bc shoto prioritizes hero-ing, & rder is like “but I save lives too”. They get “close” to splitting, but they makeup somehow. Thank you!!!!!!!

A/N: You think you can get away with breaking my heart just because you complimented me on my writing? 😤 (but in all seriousness, thank you for the compliment!)

You guys know you can request fluffy shit too, right?

Summary: You knew that you and Shouto came from different worlds, and while both of your jobs helped to save people, that didn’t mean that the two of you necessarily saw eye to eye on certain things. One of the things that the two of you never seemed to agree on was your relationship, and you were starting to feel that the two of you would never agree when it came to that.

Words: 3,307

You knew from the start that dating a pro hero wasn’t going to be easy. One day you could wake up next to the love of your life, and then five hours later, you find out that they died while watching the evening news. Or, one day you could find yourself being abducted by villains as a pawn to lure your hero lover into rescuing you, and either become scarred from the trauma of being kidnapped, or be the reason why your partner had fallen. Along with this, the hours for a pro were sporadic and unpredictable, which made it even harder to keep up a healthy relationship. So, it was safe to say that most heroes didn’t usually get into relationships with civilians, and, as a doctor, who had to deal with said heroes, you promised yourself to never get involved with one of them. If not for your physical health, then for your mental health.

Oh, how naive you were.

Somehow, whether it be due to some force in the universe that wanted to prove you wrong, or your own lack of willpower, you not only caught the attention of a certain elemental hero, but he had also caught yours as well. At first, you blamed your flustered state on the fact that he seemed to be one of your most, regular, patients. You tried to fool yourself that you were just simply worried for his health. After all, it wasn’t healthy to be visiting a hospital almost every other week. A few weeks of trying to convince yourself, and you suddenly were faced with the horrendous idea that you may have actually been worried about him because you cared about him, more than you were supposed to. It didn’t help that he was so handsome and sweet. In all honesty, it was truly a marvel that you managed to keep it together for as long as you had.

While you tried to keep your feelings tucked away deep inside of your heart, Shouto seemed to have other plans. On the days that he wasn’t in your hospital, bothering you with some large gash from a villain, or some serious bruises and broken bones from attempting to catch a falling building, he would still make his presence known through vases of flowers addressed specifically to you, as thanks for patching him up. Soon, arrangements of flowers were no longer delivered by the mailman, but instead by Shouto himself. He’d make sure to catch you on your break, or whenever you weren’t busy, just so he could strike up a conversation with you. It was both the most sweet and baffling thing that someone has done for you. Fairly soon after his common visits, the hospital became like his second home, where everyone knew why he was there, and the glamour of having a famous pro hero in their work environment was no longer exciting. 

So, no one could really blame you when you started dating him a few months later. 

Loving Shouto was one of the easiest things that you’ve ever done. Being in love with him came naturally to you, as if it were another part of your body. He was always so kind and caring, and while he did have his moments where his inexperience in terms of relationships truly showed, he always strived to be the best boyfriend that he could be. You knew that Shouto was the one who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, to grow old with. In fact, about a year into your relationship, Shouto had suggested that the two of you move in together, under the guise that you would both be saving a lot of money when it came to water and electricity, since the two of you practically lived together anyways. Not that you needed a reason to move in with him.

However, life wasn’t always that easy, and relationships don’t always turn out the way you thought they would.

After two years of dating Todoroki Shouto, you knew that the two of you would fall into some form of routine. The “honeymoon” phase wasn’t going to last forever, and you were perfectly fine with that. You still loved him dearly, and even though you both didn’t express it nearly as much as you used to, the feelings were still there, at least, on your side of the relationship.

While the two of you began to fall into your normalcy, with you growing comfortable with each other’s company, you found yourself realizing just how absent Shouto was. It started when he’d cancel your little dinner dates at home, saying that you shouldn’t wait up for him, since he’ll be home late. Of course, you gave him the benefit of the doubt, because you knew that his schedule wasn’t always the best, so you never complained to him. Soon, though, instead of missing dinner, Shouto was missing the entire day. It wasn’t very often that you had the day off, so when you did, he promised that he’d be home as well, so the two of you could make up lost time. But, when the time came, you woke up alone in your shared bed, a short note on your bedside table being your only indication that he’d left the house, and that he wouldn’t be home until late at night. Eventually, your shared apartment started to feel as though you were the only one living in it, and the only way that you knew Shouto was still living there was because the leftovers you’d put in the fridge for him would be gone the next morning.

At first, you tried really hard to be understanding. You knew that he couldn’t always be there with you, as he had a job to do. Any annoyance that you held toward him would be instantly replaced by guilt, since you knew that he was busy. However, as the days turned into months, your patience began to grown thin, and you were starting to question whether or not he even loved you anymore. If he did, he certainly never showed it, nor did he seem to feel the need to tell you that he loved you. In all honesty, you couldn’t remember the last time he told you he loved you, or the last time you ever felt loved. At this point, you were just wondering if he even cared if you were around, or if you were just someone who he knew would always be there.

Though you had managed to keep your feelings away from him for a while, it didn’t take long for your heart to no longer be able to carry your sorrows, and soon enough, you found yourself sitting on your couch at one in the morning, balling your eyes out as you waited for Shouto to come home.

Luckily for you, you didn’t need to wait much longer, as you could hear the soft click of the lock, and in a matter of seconds, you found yourself staring down the love of your life, who seemed shocked at the fact that you were still awake.

“(Y/N)?” He called out, concern filling his voice, “Why are you still awake?”

Wiping your eyes, you took in a deep breath, preparing yourself for what was to come. “We need to talk,”

Though it was a bit hard to see, with only the light from the kitchen illuminating your apartment, you could make out the tired expression on Shouto’s face. With a soft sigh, he moved toward you, patting your head.

“Can we talk about this in the morning?”

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms across your chest. “Will you even be here in the morning?”

Hearing the edge to your voice seemed to catch his attention, as he tilted his head, clearly confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You shrugged your shoulders, standing up from the couch in order to meet his eyes. “It’s a simple question, Shouto. You’re not even here when I wake up, so how are we supposed to talk?”

He furrowed his brow, not quite understanding what you were getting at. When he didn’t respond, you let out an obnoxious sigh, all of the anger you’ve been bottling up for the past few months finally rearing its ugly head.

“You know, at first I was fine with you cancelling for dinner. I did my best to understand that you’re a hero, and you have an important job to do,” Your eyes bore into him, almost as if you thought you could convey all of your hurt and anger by just your stare, “But, when you start to become less of a ‘roommate’ and more of a cryptid, that’s where I draw the line.”

“What are you talking about?” You could hear the defensive edge in his voice, and it did nothing to stop the fire from raging in your stomach.

“Do you even remember the last time that the two of us were together? The last time we did something that was remotely romantic? I certainly can’t!” You knew that you were unloading a lot of feelings onto him, but you couldn’t care less at this point.

“Well I’m sorry that I can’t be here all the time, but it’s not like I can just stop what I’m doing just to come home and chat,”

You wanted to rip your hair out. “I’m not asking you to do that!”

“Then what do you want?” He asked, his tone becoming as sharp as a knife, “Do you want me to quit my job? To stop being a hero? I’m not going to stop just because you feel upset. There are actual lives on the line.”

“Do you think that I don’t understand that?” You snapped, your nails digging into the palms of your hands.

“I save lives too, you know! Every single day I go to work and do my best to help out those who need me the most, but you don’t see me neglecting this relationship,”

He scoffed, his lips quirking downwards. “Just because you don’t see the work I put in doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. You knew what my life was like when we started dating, I don’t know why this is surprising,”

“I know what I got myself into! I just wish that I would matter just a fraction as much as your job,”

“You want me to prioritize you over my duty to the people?”

“That’s not what I’m saying! I just want to feel like I’m important to you,” You could feel your shoulders deflating, “Why is that so hard to understand?”

The two of you could have fought the entire night and have gone in circles. Instead, Shouto merely took in a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Can we just talk about this in the morning? It’s late, and I can’t think about this right now.”

All of the fight that was in you had suddenly dissipated, and all you were left with was this hollow feeling in your chest. Shaking your head, you brushed past him, heading towards the guest room.

“Don’t worry. There’s nothing to talk about anymore,” You didn’t even bother turning towards him, “Just, do whatever you want.”

With that, you shut the door behind you, locking it and then throwing yourself onto the bed, praying that you’d get at least a couple hours of sleep before your shift.

Unfortunately for you, you ended up getting about two hours of sleep before waking up at six in the morning. Wordlessly, you got ready for work, not bothering to check if Shouto was still home, though, you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d just taken off right after you left.

Once you had arrived at the hospital, you were instantly greeted by the concerned stares from your coworkers, with some even voicing that you didn’t look so good. Not wanting to worry anyone, you told them that you were fine, and that you just didn’t get that much sleep last night. It wasn’t a complete lie, and it got them off of your case, so, you figured that you got away with it.

You honestly couldn’t remember what happened during the rest of the day. Bits and pieces would come to you, like when you had to do a routine check-up for one of your favorite patients, or when you took a thirty minute nap during your lunch. Other than that, you truly could not remember what you did. In fact, if your receptionist didn’t tell you that it was nearly eight in the evening, you were sure that you would’ve stayed the night by accident.

As you left your shift and hurried onto the next train to take you home, you couldn’t help but replay the conversation you had with Shouto. You weren’t quite sure where your relationship stood. Neither of you had made the effort to contact the other, and although it had only been one day, you couldn’t help but feel anxious. While of course, you were glad that you told him how you felt, and that you wished he could be more present as a partner, you felt bad about how you went about telling him. There were better ways of telling him that you felt as though he didn’t care anymore, and snapping at him was probably one of the worst ways to go about it. So, as you continued your journey home, you figured that you’d apologize for snapping at him like you did, but you were in no way going to apologize for how you felt, or for telling him that you didn’t feel like a priority for him.

Once the train had reached its destination, and you had finally made it to your front door, you were just about ready to collapse onto the couch. Maybe get in a quick nap before eating dinner, or maybe you’d just head straight towards your bed and get a full eight hours of sleep. However, once the door swung open, rather than being greeted by the deafening silence that you had grown accustomed to, you could hear the soft hum of the radio being played, along with the quiet sizzling of something being cooked. Closing the door gently, you took off your shoes and jacket, quietly making your way towards the kitchen. As you peered from the doorway, you watched in awe as Shouto stood over the oven, watching almost warily at whatever he was making. It was obvious that he had no idea what he was doing, and, judging by how messy your kitchen looked, it was clear to you that this wasn’t his first attempt. Glancing over at the dining table, you noticed the pair of bowls and cups that were set, as if he were setting the table for two.

Deciding that you were tired of just standing there, you cleared your throat, making your presence known.

He jumped a bit, whipping his head towards the source of the noise, before letting out a sound of relief. Quickly turning off the stove, he faced himself towards you, and you could tell that he felt awkward.

“What are you making?” You asked, trying to break the tension in the room.

“Fried rice,” He started, rubbing the back of his neck, “I thought I could make dinner, it seemed simple enough,”

You hummed, slowly making your way over to him, trying to gauge his reaction. When he didn’t move away, you stepped closer, peering into the pan to look at what he made. While it was slightly overcooked, you appreciated the effort. Motioning toward the table, you spoke, “Go grab the bowls,”

After a few more beats of silence, the two of you found yourselves sitting in front of each other, staring awkwardly at your bowls of fried rice, unsure of what to say. While you really did want to apologize, you weren’t sure of how to approach the topic. You were worried that, if you brought up last night, it’d just end up with the two of you fighting again.

It seemed as thought Shouto had the same idea as you, as he finally spoke up, “I think we should talk about last night,”

Putting down your spoon, you nodded. Glancing up, you noticed the nervous expression on his face, and though you were about to talk about something serious, you couldn’t help but find comfort in the fact that he was just as nervous as you.

“Before we start,” You began, placing your hands in front of yourself, “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry that I got so angry last night. I was bottling up all of my emotions, and instead of just telling you, I let them get the best of me, and I exploded when I didn’t mean to,”

He frowned, moving to take one of your hands in his own, “I’m sorry that I tried to brush off your feelings and got defensive. I was tired and ready to go to sleep, so when you said you wanted to talk, I just snapped.”

You squeezed his hand, offering him a small smile. He returned it almost immediately, holding onto your hand as if you were his anchor. Rubbing his thumb against your knuckles, he gave you a reassuring look.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t listening last night, but I am now,” He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of your hand, “Tell me what’s going on,”

You felt a pang of anxiety rushing through you, but you pushed through. Even though you felt awful saying it, the two of you didn’t fight just for the fun of it.

“I know that being a hero means the world to you, and I’m so proud of what you do. You constantly put yourself in harms way in order to protect those who can’t save themselves, and I admire that,”

He nodded his head, ushering you to continue, “But?”

“But,” You said, trying to choose your words carefully, “I feel like you put so much of yourself into your work that there’s not enough of you left when it comes to our relationship.”

You smiled sadly at him. “I’m not saying that I should be your number one priority, I know that would be too selfish. I’d just like to be in the top five, you know?”

The frown on his face made you rethink your words. Mirroring his features, you squeezed his hand. It took him a minute to respond, letting your words sink in. Once he found his voice, he spoke, “You shouldn’t feel like you have to settle for the top five,”

He got out of his seat, pushing it closer to you before sitting down once more. This time, he took both of your hands in his, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry for ever making you feel like you weren’t important to me,”

You shook your head, your nose gently bumping against his. “I know you’re busy,”

“Never too busy when it comes to you,”

You found yourself breaking out into a small grin, laughing a bit. Seeing your relaxed figure, Shouto found himself laughing with you, disconnecting his hands from yours in order to place them on your waist, pulling you closer. As you found yourself practically straddling him, you couldn’t help but run a hand through his hair, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. He seemed to relish in your touch, as he leaned closer to you as you pulled away, causing you to let out another stream of giggles.

While the two of you still had to figure out how to manage your schedules, you were finally filled with a sense of comfort and love, one that you hadn’t felt in a long time. 

[isitgintimeyet]

Just A Friend

The response to this story has been lovely, so thank you all for reading. liking, reblogging and commenting on this piece of fluff. Hope you continue to enjoy.

Thanks to @wickedgoodbooks for the beta

AO3

Previous

Chapter 6: From Irritation to Interrogation

And just like that, we’re friends, Jamie and I. It’s strange how quickly you can go from strangers to acquaintances to friends. After that walk in the park, something seems to have clicked with us, there’s an ease in our friendship that doesn’t happen too often. Despite our vastly different upbringings, we have many things in common: a shared love of irreverent comedy, a fondness for very good quality chocolate and wine and a determination to succeed in our chosen careers.

Of course, it helps that we don’t have the whole fancying-sexual-tension-romantic thing lurking in the background. As I’ve said before, Jamie is not my type and, judging by the pictures on his Facebook timeline, I am definitely not his, which appears to be doe-eyed, tanned, petite blondes— their pneumatic breasts frequently struggling to break free from their restraints. No tall, wild-haired brunettes with only-slightly-above-average breasts usually firmly encased in sensible lingerie.

I may even invite him to Geillis’ wedding as my plus one. We’ll see. I don’t think I’ll be dating by then, I quite fancy a few months without any of those complications.

********

One of life’s pleasures, for me, when I’m not on-call, is to walk to the local newsagents on a Sunday morning for the newspaper. If it’s fine, it’s another opportunity to sit on my balcony and read it at my leisure. A mug of freshly brewed coffee and a cinnamon bun enhances this experience.

Today, it’s not so fine, but sitting on my sofa while listening to the rain pounding against the window is pretty good too. I’m just about to start the crossword when my phone rings. I quickly swallow my mouthful of bun and glance at the screen—private number. I offer up a silent prayer that it’s not the hospital as I answer it.

“Claire Beauchamp?” The female voice sounds familiar.

“Yes.” I answer cautiously.

“Jes’ a wee word of warning. Karma can be a bitch, ye ken.” The voice grows louder and angrier. I recognise that tone, last heard berating Jamie. “Ye’ll get what ye deserve. Ye canna trust James Fraser, but ye’ll find out soon enough—the hard way, like I did… thanks tae ye.”

“Look, I—“ I begin, but before I can finish my sentence, she’s gone.

My initial reaction is irritation. Laoghaire, no doubt looking around for someone to blame for her recent break up, has cast me in the role of home wrecker, clearly using my carefully honed feminine wiles to lure Mr. Fraser from her clutches. Like Frank, she can’t quite believe that anyone could break up with her, without there being another waiting in the wings, ready and willing to take her place.

My irritation dissipates as I begin to see the funny side of this. She’s obviously thought long and hard about this—checking his Facebook friends, keeping records of his phone calls when they were together. Perhaps she sees herself as Jennifer Aniston against my Angelina. I hope Jamie can see this for what it is and laugh. Besides, in this scenario, that makes Jamie what? Brad Pitt?

*****************

Two days later, Jamie and I have arranged to have a quick drink after work in a mutually convenient bar. Summer has not yet returned to the city. Whilst not actually raining, the air is damp and there’s a definite nip in the air. I do a cursory check of the outdoor seating, just to see whether Jamie is heroically braving the elements, but there’s no sign of him.

I make my way into the bar and have a quick walk around before snagging a corner table. The seats are comfortable and it’s in a prime position for me to keep an eye out for his arrival. This bar has always been one of my favourites in the city. It feels grounded, like it’s been here forever. The stone walls and dark oak beams are unchanging and watching the inebriated trying to negotiate the uneven wooden floor on their way to the toilets always makes for good entertainment. In fact, people come from miles around to marvel at its very crookedness.

I check my phone for any messages. There’s one from Geillis, accepting my invitation for girls’ night on Friday at my flat. I reply and put the phone down just in time to see Jamie heading toward me. He’s obviously come straight from work as he’s still in his navy blue suit and white shirt. I’ve come straight from work too but am not nearly so smartly dressed. Having worn my blue scrubs all day, I’m now clad in jeans and a wrap around top which used to be orange, but has faded to a light amber colour. I feel somewhat underdressed next to him.

“Drink?” He asks, before even sitting down.

I nod. “I’m parched. Think I’ll have a shandy, please.”

“Lager shandy? Half pint?”

“Bitter,” I clarify, not being a great believer in girlie drinks. “And pint.”

He returns a couple of minutes later with a pint and a packet of crisps in each hand.

He takes a huge slug of beer. “Sae, what do ye ken? What’s new wi’ ye?”

And so, I recount my day of surgery to him. And, bless him, he looks interested all the way through my narration. He does turn a bit pale as I begin to explain my use of the bone mallet and chisel, and his crisps remain untouched, but he soldiers through.

“In other news,” I change the subject as his colour returns and he rips the crisps open. “I had an anonymous phone call from your ex, warning me about you and blaming me for your break up. But, never fear, I’ll get what’s coming to me when you do the same to me—“

A bout of coughing from Jamie breaks into my conversation.  I get up and thump his back a couple of times. The coughing stops as he takes a swig of beer.

“Sorry,” he clears his throat and continues. “Crisp stuck in ma throat. She did what? How does she ken who ye are?”

“Presumably she kept a record of your phone calls and is monitoring your Facebook friends. Maybe you need to check your phone, see if she’s set up any other little apps so she can track where you are or what you’re doing.”

He shakes his head. “Aye, I’ll do that. I canna believe she would go tae such lengths. Although…” he pauses for a moment. “... mebbe I can. She was always the, er, suspicious type—asking me about women at work, convinced they were ready tae pounce on me. Perhaps I’m not the best judge of character, Claire. Ye need tae advise me.”

I laugh. “Ok. I’ll be your wingman, if you like. Or vet all your potential girlfriends. How about that?”

Jamie joins in with the laughter. His eyes twinkle and it’s funny the way he wrinkles his nose as he laughs.

“How about you? How’re the Spanish influenced dinners going? What are you up to?” I ask him.

“The plans are going grand. We’ve three dinner options planned out.” As usual, his face lights up as he explains the various menus to me.

“They all sound delicious. I’m looking forward to trying them.” And that's the truth.

“Weel, funny ye should mention that. We are looking fer people willing tae test them. How about it? Fancy trying one out? This week, mebbe? Free, of course.”

My weekend plans are getting better and better. Girls’ night at my flat could be turning into a bit of a Spanish fiesta, a mini replay of our Barcelona trip.

“I’d love that. Thanks. I’m having Geillis, Mary and Anna ‘round on Friday for a catch up. I could give you their opinion on the meal too.”

Jamie types something into his phone. “Great, I’ll sort it. So, good weekend plans then?”

“Oh yes, what about you?”

“Oh, I’ve got a sort of date type thing,” he mumbles into his pint and, to my surprise he goes a little bit red. Is he worried about telling me? Does he think that I will mind?

“That’s nice...isn’t it?”

“I dinna ken, really. I… I suppose so. It’s ma sister, Jenny’s, idea.  A friend of hers from university. Ma sister canna quite believe that I’m no’ yet married and she keeps trying tae make it happen. And Jenny, weel, let’s jes’ say that she’s a force of nature. Ye dinna want tae mess wi’ her.”

***************

I’m not exactly the most gifted cook, but I think it would be hard to go wrong with the box of food and wine that Jamie has delivered. The asparagus is waiting to be cooked, the mouth-watering smell from the simmering  chicken and chorizo fills my flat and bowls of juicy Spanish olives— some plain and some with garlic and chilli are dotted about the dinner table. Feeling inspired, I root out a large jug and begin to cut up fruit for sangria.

Like alcohol-seeking missiles, I’ve no sooner prepared the sangria when the doorbell rings. With many hugs, Geillis, Mary, Anna and I greet each other. I accept their gifts of wine, chocolate and flowers as we head into the flat.

As usual, everyone gravitates to the kitchen as I pass the drinks around, complimenting me on the wonderful aromas. Geillis’ stomach rumbles in eager anticipation.

When the four of us are together, the conversation flows as freely as the wine. Honestly, you would swear that we had not seen each other for months, when, in fact, I saw Anna on Tuesday in theatre, and squeezed in a coffee catch-up with Mary and Geillis only two days ago. The topics we cover are wide-ranging and random. Sangria and olives are accompanied by Anna’s search for a new flat, then the conversation turns to the destructive tendencies of Mary’s kitten as I serve the asparagus and Serrano ham starter.

For the main course, we have the tale of Geillis’ father refusing to wear a kilt for her wedding—he is prepared to don tartan trews but, according to Geillis, that will spoil the whole symmetry of the wedding photos. Neither, at the moment, seem willing to back down but, having known Geillis for so many years, it’s obvious to me who will win.

By the time I bring out the selection of Spanish biscuits and turrón, the conversation has moved on to men, more specifically Mary’s crush on a locum doctor newly arrived in the department. There’s a lot of good natured teasing about this—Mary seems to develop a new crush every couple of weeks, and why not?

Geillis drains her wine and turns to me. “Fantastic meal, Claire. Better than yer usual offerings.”

She pulls me close to her as she says this, and squeezes my arm to show she’s joking.

“Well, I have to confess. I did have a bit of assistance. I mean, I did the cooking, apart from the cookies, but everything came from FraserFood.”

“In that case, give me those chocolates back. I’m no’ sure ye’ve earned them.”

“But I have,” I moan. “I did all the cooking…and made sangria.” I reach across Geillis and help myself to another biscuit. They are melt-in-the-mouth delicious.

“It’s part of a new range they’re launching,” I try to explain as Anna and Mary start to squabble over the last biscuit. “Three course dinner party boxes. Everything you need. Jamie asked if I would test one of them out—“

Immediately Anna and Mary shut up, the last biscuit now abandoned on the plate.

“Woo-hoo,” Anna grins at me.

Geillis nudges me in the ribs. “Jamie, is it? And what else has Jamie given ye, eh?”

“Nothing, we’re friends, that’s it.”

“But we’ve seen pictures of him. Don’t ye want there tae be more tae it? I mean, c’mon look at him.” Now Mary joins in the questioning.

I sigh. “We can just be friends, you know.”

“Friends with benefits, mebbe?” Geillis isn’t giving up.

“No, just friends. Although…” my friends lean forward expectantly, perhaps awaiting some heartfelt confession from me, as if I’d suddenly realised my undying love, or, at least, a good bit of lust for Mr. Fraser. They’re going to be disappointed.

“...Although, I suppose you could say this free food and drink is a benefit. So,yes, I guess that makes us friends with benefits.”

Anna and Geillis look as if they don’t believe me, but say nothing. Mary isn’t prepared to drop the subject.

“So,” she starts. “So, suppose I meet yer—“

“Not mine,” I mutter under my breath.

Mary shrugs her shoulders and continues, “—yer Jamie Fraser. And suppose he asks me out and one thing leads tae another… ye’re telling us that ye wouldna mind?”

“No, I wouldn’t mind. Might be a bit awkward if you break up. I mean, can I still be friends with both of you?”

Geillis, laughing, joins in now. “Suppose our Mary marries Jamie Fraser and asks ye tae be a bridesmaid. Would ye mind then?”

I pretend to give this some thought. “Ah, now that does depend. Just how awful will the bridesmaid dress be, Mary?”

“Och, just hideous. We’ll be having a Disney themed wedding.”

All talking and laughing at once, we try to decide which would be the worst Disney outfit for a bridesmaid and finally settle on Moana.

I get up from the table to go and make coffee, but not before making one final statement on the whole platonic situation with Jamie.

“Look, I know it’s hard to believe, but I have no romantic interest in Jamie and neither does he. In fact, he told me that he’s got a date this weekend and that’s totally fine with me.”

Geillis grabs my hand in passing. “Ok, as long as ye’re fine. We jes’ dinna want ye getting hurt, Claire. We love ye too much fer that.”

I smile at my closest friends gathered around my table and feel a rush of warmth and love for them too. They’re my family, these girls, and, for all the joking and teasing, they have my best interests at heart.

“I know. Thank you for looking out for me. But, Jamie and I are friends, nothing more.”

And with that I head into the kitchen, giving Anna, Mary and Geillis, no doubt, the opportunity to continue to speculate about Jamie’s and my friendship. But really I don’t mind, they’ll get fed up soon enough when they see I’ve been telling the truth all along.

[imagine-loki]

Ruin

TITLE: Ruin

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT:

AUTHOR: fanfictrashdump

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine that halfway through a makeout session, Loki stops abruptly. He stares for a long moment before he says anything. “I can’t ruin you like this.” He anxiously stands to put space between you. “I have to leave.”

RATING: T

NOTES/WARNINGS: My to-do list is a mile long , but I saw this and my mind wrote it on its own. Did I never intend them to be romantically involved? Yes. Did I really think of Lily as an oblivious ace for a long time? Also yes. Do I enjoy the current chaotic bi vibes she’s putting out? H e l l  y e s. Language. Kissing. Idiots. Speed run, so errors may be plentiful.

SUMMARY: Loki has been feeling feels that he can no longer shove into box and ignore. Lily didn’t know she could possibly have access to that box and would very much like the opportunity to do so. Loki is dramatic AF and is pleasantly surprised he’s been lied to. 

=

His lips trailed an invisible line over her neck, gliding over the expanse of skin until it reached a point where her pulse thrummed steadily. A second later his tongue darted over the heated flesh, tasting the electricity of her skin and what tasted like fresh morning dew. His teeth followed, pinching skin together so he could suck a half-dollar size bruise into it before returning to the honeyed lips he had already kissed swollen. The half-gasped whimper that followed as response would have usually spurred Loki on in his actions. This time, it was the noise that broke him from his reverie.

He pulled back, blinking drunkenly at the flushed face staring back in wide-eyed, pouting surprise. For a second the perfectly sky blue marbles beckoned him back like a siren call, but the Prince caught himself before he managed to drag her back onto his mouth. Fine, silver strands slipped through his fingers, the ends curling delicately around his digits and tickled his palms. He tried not to focus on the fact that the fact that they felt like each follicle was woven of spider’s silk.

A kiss brushed onto the inside of his wrist, startling him out of the silent exploration of her hair. There was a silent question in Lily’s stare, a curiosity as to why he had pulled away when they both had been perfectly content to try to devour each other a moment prior.

All Loki saw was an innocent curiosity reflected back at him and a genuine desire to share affection. It was all very overwhelming. Loki’s hands retreated abruptly, just as the dark cloud settled over his features. “I can’t ruin you like this,” he murmured, his face screwed into a frown that looked more distraught than Lily had ever seen it. He was on his feet a second later, almost as if shocked by lightning. “I have to go.”

“Wha–Loki!” Lily called at the already slamming door, leaving Lily behind, in his quarters, she might add, earnestly confused as to what had just happened. How all of it had happened.

Lily couldn’t remember who had started their short-lived tryst. It just sort of… happened.

The pair had been play-fighting, an increasingly common occurrence that would come about from Lily feeling a little too sure of herself and would decide to test her reflexes and element of surprise. Loki could always see her attacks coming a mile away, if he were honest. The little plant witch had only managed to startle him once, and it was very quickly rectified. He had not let his guard down ever again.

The familiar sensation of being watched crept up his spine and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. There was no ominous feeling, but rather a knowledge that he was not alone. The smirk that crept up on his face was unintentional, but it also unsuppressed. Loki continued sorting through materials as if there were nothing amiss. The slightest breeze fluttered his hair and the smell of ozone and magic filled his nose as he easily grabbed the arm that had intended to wind around his neck and he flipped the person over his shoulder.

Lily landed, flat on her back in bed with a choked gasp, scrambling quickly out of the vulnerable position, but Loki was far faster than she ever hoped to be. Not to mention that he was so much stronger, his hands bigger, able to pin her down neatly with little effort. Her veins glowed green in tandem with the vines that intended to squeeze Loki still.

He gave a surprised chuckle in response–they never had resorted to magic when they grappled like this. His response to shapeshift was second nature. The giant serpent that slithered eerily in her screeching direction dealt with the vines with little issue. She swallowed her protests to pin him down before the shape of a porcupine had her shuffling off again. More vines, more pliant and dense than the first, bound the creature down before a fox took its place. The ebony of its fur contrasted with the bright green of the vines was surprisingly endearing. Loki noisily gnawed at the vines as he rolled onto his back, hind legs kicking up a storm.

“Aww, I didn’t think you could shift into cute things!” She cooed, scratching him under his chin, prompting him to let out a startled yelp.

While Loki was no stranger to Lily suddenly thrusting affection in his direction in the form of hugs and genuine compliments, they were usually after he was in dire need of it, or vice versa. They never seemed to share this affection when they were both perfectly fine, but rather as comfort. And while the gentle stroking of her fingers up the bridge of his snout was soothing in a quasi hypnotic manner, there was still a bubble of emotion that he was sort of uncomfortable with gurgling at the pit of his stomach.

In the tumult of his emotions, he had shifted back, vines disappearing into the ether, and yet her fingers still trailed that lazy route from his forehead, down the bridge of his nose and back. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint when his head had shifted into her lap or when he decided it was a good idea for his teeth to playfully nip at her fingers. All he knew was that after a moment he her face was down by his and their mouths pressed together. Everything after that had been a blur.

And now she was sitting alone in his room, trying to piece together the last hour and why in every god’s name he had decided to bail on her.

Lily marched out of the dark bedroom and out into the hallways. She was sure Loki would be hiding quite proficiently–there wasn’t a creature alive that could find Loki if he did not want to be found, but she could certainly try. Lily peeked into the lab where Tony and Bruce tinkered away at their science projects.

“Tony, have you seen Loki?” She knew Bruce would rather stay far away from the demigod, so it wasn’t worth asking.

“Have I seen Scary Spice? No, I have not and I count myself lucky.”

“That’s not nice.”

Tony didn’t miss a beat. “Neither is he. What do you need him for?”

“He wasn’t feeling well,” she fibbed, easily. “I wanted to check in on him.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Bruce quipped, flashing an awkward smile and going back to adjust an array of tiny screws. Lily raised an eyebrow and Bruce did a double-take in her direction. “What?”

Lily ignored the question, dropping unceremoniously into one of the stools by Tony’s bench. “Honestly, I think we should kick Loki out,” she said after a long moment.

Tony’s face crumpled into an odd frown. “Not that I don’t fantasize about that every single day, but, why?”

“He’s a bad influence I think.”

“On who? The assassins, the 1940’s super soldiers, the recovering alcoholic with anxiety or the rage monster over there? Or do you mean you? Because I think we both know you’re your own bad influence. We’re all our own worst enemies, here, kiddo.”

“He’s going to ruin me.”

The loud bark of laughter spewing from Tony’s mouth startled Lily. “You lied to me for five years about who you really were and then you failed to mention that you would go all Poison Ivy if you were out on missions for too long. The only being brave enough to go into that room and keep your borderline non-murderous was that dumb, goth, wannabe-boyfriend of yours.” Tony peered down his nose at her. “Loki is a lot of things, mutant ruiner is not one of them.”

“He made out with me.”

“Good. If he’s busy sucking your face off, he can’t keep messing up the paint job on my suit.” He smirked when Lily pouted. “It’s not my fault if you make terrible choices. You have to deal with them yourself. Welcome to adulthood” He sobered slightly, cracking his neck in a nervous fidget. “So, you, er, like him or something?”

Lily turned a brilliant shade of red, suddenly becoming interested in a loose thread on her jumper. “I don’t know. I’m usually kind of oblivious and assume everyone just wants to be my friend, so I never… I didn’t think…”

“Oh, god, you do. Disgusting,” Tony quipped, making retching noises to tease her.

“Shut up, Tony.”

“But, you do! You’re totally–”

“Shut up, Tony!”

Tony frowned, the expression turning to curiosity when Lily’s eyes trailed to stare out of her peripherals towards Bruce’s benchtop. Realization lit up his face as his mouth formed a wide ‘O’ before he chuckled. “You better put everything back the way you found it or Bruce is going to Hulk-smash you into porridge.” Something clattered noisily onto the ground before the sound of footsteps shuffling overcame them. “He’s heading for the balcony,” he whispered just as the steps retreated. “Don’t make sudden moves, he looks terrified.”

“Thanks. Pleasure wreaking havoc with you, Tony,” she announced, hopping to her feet.

Cool air rushed her face as the automatic doors hissed open. The weather was already biting in the late autumn, and Lily was in no way prepared to be outside for any length of time in just her jumper and jeans.

Loki stood at the railing, staring off into the city when she pressed her forehead to his back. His body stiffened, taking several heartbeats before his muscles stopped seizing up. By that time, however, the bone-wracking shivers had prompted some protective instinct within him to turn, shedding the charcoal zip jumper off his shoulders and over hers.

“You’ll catch your death.”

“Do you mean you or the weather? Because you’re rather elusive today”

Loki scoffed. “Lilian–”

“Not my name.”

He drew in a deep breath whose chill rattled noisily in his chest. “How’d you even know?”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Bruce pretends you don’t exist. He wouldn’t express his sympathy for your illness. Rookie mistake. I know how to read people rather well.”

There was a long stretch of silence between them, eyes jousting before he couldn’t bear to hold her gaze any longer. “I’m not what you want.”

Lily chuckled to herself, burying herself deeper into Loki’s coat. “Forgive me, but you have no clue what I want. Mostly because I don’t know what I want. Frankly, I didn’t think making out with a Norse god was one of the options.” She shrugged, leaning into his side and smiling to herself when he instinctually pressed in closer. “I mean, if you don’t want it, that’s a different matter, altogether.”

Loki cut his eyes to the side to stare at her. “You’re ridiculous. You can’t tell me you don’t see–don’t you?”

“See what?”

“Fucking oblivious.”

“It’s not like I actively seek anyone. I can’t exactly be myself with anyone else.” She smirked, nudging him with her hip. “I don’t want to be–” A yelp cut her short, swallowed into Loki’s throat before it ever got the chance to break through the air. His long digits bunched up either side of his coat to pull her closer. She sighed, molding herself into the curve of his body. Just as she was tilted her head to deepen their kiss, he pulled back.

“No. I–I have to go.”

Once more alone, wrapped in Loki’s coat, she remained confused. Lily let out a groan, letting the cold autumn air cool her down before marching back inside. She hoped he shifted into someone easily recognizable. And that this sudden attack of guilty conscience was short-lived.

It wasn’t.

A month-long game of cat and mouse, of watching him disguise himself as every single occupant of that godforsaken tower to escape temptation and they still had not managed to sit down for a conversation. Lily decided that if that was the game he wanted to play, that she was entirely fine with it. She prepared breakfast for the team, as usual, setting a bouquet of fresh flowers in the center with a smile. Eventually, everyone began to stream in for the morning meal and Lily sat at her usual spot at the far end of the table to watch everyone come in, half-asleep and ravenous.

Blue eyes trailed Loki shuffling in behind Natasha, who sat to her right while he sat to Lily’s left. Not missing a beat, Lily smiled at the assassin before tugging at Natasha by the strings of her hoodie. Their mouths met easily, the Widow’s lips quirking at the corners and prompting the sound of clattering utensils across the table.

Nat pecked Lily gently before allowing her to move back and grinned. She licked her lips almost lewdly and followed it with a sip of coffee. “Good morning to you, too, hon.” Impish energy glittered in her eyes. “You know what? I don’t think I got enough of you. Come here–”

A thud echoed in the room and the table clattered. Loki was half out of his seat and had buried his dagger into the mahogany surface of the dining table. Tony protested quietly, almost half-heartedly.

“If you so much as breathe on her, again, I will skin you alive, Agent Romanoff. I swear it,” Loki hissed. “When I said I didn’t want to ruin you, I wasn’t suggesting you go off and find someone who would!” Loki snapped back at Lily, his expression halfway between annoyed and hurt.

“What else am I supposed to do?” She declared loudly, grumbling unintelligibly for a long moment. “I have been driving myself dizzy chasing these stupid circles you’ve led me on. Do you want me or not?”

“In what Universe do I not want you? It cannot be more obvious that I love you and you make me feel special, you impossible woman! Even fucking Stark noticed! But I don’t deal well with emotions if you haven’t caught on, yet, and I don’t want to lead you on when I’m not sure how to feel anything!”

“I don’t know how to feel, either, you ass. Which is why I’d rather we figure it out together than have to play Guess Who?: Shapeshifter Edition with everyone in the Tower!”

Loki growled, scrubbing a hand down his face in frustration. “I’ve just told you I love you and you said you didn’t know how you felt!”

Lily stabbed a sausage rather aggressively onto her fork, bending two of the tines in the process. “Of course I love you, you moron. Who in their goddamn right mind would voluntarily put up with your moody bullshit, otherwise?”

He scoffed. “Fine, I guess we’re in love, then!”

“Whoop-de-fucking-do!”

Loki opened his mouth to snap another witty retort back, when the conversation caught up to him. His eyebrows rose to meet his hairline as wide, green eyes cut instantly at Lily. “We’re in love,” he mumbled. “We’re in love?” Surprise melted into hopeful softness.

“Wait, were you two not together?” A chorus of Clint and Barton followed the interruption, but it was enough to cut through the magic of the moment.

x

Loki fidgeted on his feet as he paced in front of the bed. Lily looked bemused as her eyes moved like the swing of a pendulum to follow him back and forth.

“I’m not good enough for you.”

“Not for you to decide,” she countered, easily.

“I’ve killed.”

“So have I. You’ve been there.”

He stopped to face her. “I tried to take over the planet.”

“Mind control.”

“I’m a monster.”

“I’m legitimately an eldritch horror hybrid.”

Loki kneeled, resting his forehead on her lap with a sigh. “But we–you–I don’t think I could bare losing you after a paltry few decades,” he reluctantly mumbled.

Lily giggled, which Loki thought odd, but weirder things had happened between them. “I mean, fair. I’m not sure how long I’ll live, but I am also a hundred and six.”

His head snapped up so quickly he felt the muscles contract painfully. “What?”

“The hair is not a fashion statement,” she whispered, feeling the weight of his stare and the million questions it contained with it. “There’s a reason I haven’t really dated. I’ve never met anyone I can ostensibly spend my whole life with.” She laughed nervously, rustling her hair. “Say something.”

“You lied to me?” He seemed impressed rather than angry.

“No. You’ve always just assumed. And, I let you,” she admitted, her cheeks coloring faintly. His hands had curled around hers, dwarfing them in his comfortable warmth. “If you had let me explain a month ago, I would have told you that I’m really not some innocent maiden you can ruin.”

The little anxious notch that she was so familiar with formed between his brows. “By the Norns, we have a lot to talk about then, flower.” Lily sighed good-naturedly at the statement. Before she had managed to protest, Loki craned his neck enough to slot lips to hers. “Later, of course.”

[liunaticfringe]

By Scott Moore April 25, 1999 

 At first blush, Lucy Liu seems to have little in common with the character she plays on "Ally McBeal."

Unlike the assertive Ling -- soft L, soft G -- she doesn't growl. Neither is she sarcastic, rude or abrupt.

Rather, it's with enthusiasm, courtesy and a bit of a giggle -- traits Ling Woo would never permit -- that Liu explains the hardships of portraying this very litigious woman each week on Fox's "Ally McBeal" (Monday at 9 on Fox).

"I can barely keep a straight face most of the time in the scenes," she said.

The insulting Ling Woo has little time for emotion -- or so viewers first thought. After the death of a young boy, the character kept up the persona by declaring: "We knew he was dying, Ally. This isn't the world's biggest shock. The boy had leukemia. Get over it."

The true shock came moments later, when Ling was seen crying outside the hospital parking lot -- and later still when she apparently arranged for a blimp to convey a comforting sign to Ally.

The turn of events "are just as surprising to me as to the audience," Liu said.

The actress has had quite a ride since being introduced in the second week of the season as the ill-tempered friend of icy attorney Nelle Porter, played by Portia de Rossi. A potential cash cow for the law firm and a romantic target for perpetually excited senior partner Richard Fish, Ling instantly drew the scorn of the rest of the firm and the attention of a large fan base, helping move the series into the Top 20 in the weekly ratings.

The turn of events, like each week's story line, has been a pleasant surprise to Liu, who was rejected last year while auditioning for the role of Nelle.

"They said they'd think about me in the future," Liu said. "But I was the only person of color there at all," of the half-dozen actresses applying for the part.

However, a few days later, she was cast for a role that writer-producer David E. Kelley created for her. Further, color doesn't seem to have any detriment on Kelley's offbeat comedy, where interracial relationships are commonplace.

If anything, Liu's Chinese heritage works to her advantage. Kelley has used her ability to speak Mandarin in a couple of story lines -- Ling inadvertently instructed waiters to cook John Cage's pet frog Stephan ("Tastes like chicken") and addressed a jury with nonsensical phrases that Liu's mother helped her construct. ("It doesn't matter what I say here," said the subtitles, "because none of you speak Chinese. But you can see from my sad face . . . I'm sympathetic.").

As a result, Ling Woo has evolved from an Asian stereotype -- that of Dragon Lady or sexual object -- to a multi-dimensional character. In addition to the show of emotion, Ling recently was revealed to have a law degree and joined the firm.

Still, Liu's character certainly has draconian elements. Her appearance on screen is often accompanied by glares or "The Wizard of Oz's" Wicked Witch of the West theme. And Ling's creative foreplay-but-no-play romance with Fish has gained Liu a growing fan base and several job offers.

"I knew she was well-rounded from the beginning," Liu said. "There's friction, and she's blunt and honest, but I always knew she was a sympathetic character."

Sympathetic? Ling yelled at a man in a wheelchair to watch where he was going. ("It's bad enough you people get all the parking places.") She declares that "men are horny toads." She has sued a radio shock jock for contributing to sexual harassment and a nurse of a plastic surgeon for having natural breasts.

Ling would interrupt here to ask, "Do you have a point?" Liu only laughs.

"I have to study her a great deal so she can shoot them out," Liu said of her character's audacity. "She doesn't hesitate when she talks or after she talks. If I know the lines, I can be more secure when I try to express her.

"She's a very clear-minded, blunt person. She's not disciplined, so I need to discipline myself, so she doesn't get lost or muddled."

Liu, born in New York City's Queens in the 1960s (she doesn't reveal her age), began acting while majoring in Asian languages and cultures at the University of Michigan. She played the lead in "Alice in Wonderland."

She had recurring roles on "ER," "High Incident" and "Coach," and guest spots on "NYPD Blue," "L.A. Law," "Michael Hayes" and "The X-Files." She also had a regular role as a brainy student in the short-lived Rhea Perlman comedy "Pearl."

And after playing a former girlfriend in "Jerry Maguire" and a hooker in "Bang," she made a mark this year with her portrayal of a brutal dominatrix in the Mel Gibson action-thriller "Payback." Liu also appears in "True Crime" with Clint Eastwood, "Molly" with Elizabeth Shue, and the "Austin Powers" sequel, "The Spy Who Shagged Me." And she was just cast in Ron Shelton's "Play It to the Bone."

"I've come to terms with things the last few years, so I can appreciate things as they're happening," she said.

Her favorite part of playing Ling, she said, are the romantic scenes with Fish (played by Greg Germann, a fellow accordion player).

"They're a real challenge for me, because my roles before didn't involve sexuality," said Liu. "I think, Oh, I can't do that. But, hey, I'm a woman, why not find some sensuality in that? When you discover yourself and allow yourself to be sexual, it's a really liberating feeling."

In fact, Liu says Fish is the character to whom she is most drawn: "I'm attracted to humor. Laughter is the most important thing in the world -- it takes 10 years off your age."

So, Liu is able to laugh off criticism from those who try to attach stereotypical labels to her character. "Chill out, take a pill or don't watch the show," she said.

The line could have been Ling's, except it was accompanied by a giggle.

CAPTION: Lucy Liu: "I can barely keep a straight face most of the time in the scenes."

CAPTION: LUCY LIU

[nighttimepixels]

Night.... I am weak for Dusk and Dawn, I love them oh so very much,, they cater right to my weak little gay heart. Do you,,, mayhaps,,,, have anything vaguely romantic about Dawn?? Or like, if you haven't talked about it already, what would happen if she wound up being dragged into the girls' timeline by the machine?? Your work is absolutely fantastic, I hope you know!! You make my gay little heart go bADUMP

Oh man, this is a trickier one... because the answer is yes, absolutely, I have that sort of thing - buuut it’ll also involve revealing something about Dawn that is a ‘development’... hmm...

Ah well, I can’t count on getting to include them in the lilytale fic proper, so...

:)c

See... Dawn did come through via the machine the same time Dusk did.

Full-size.

(the rest below the cut <3)

But you see - Dawn’s on a different level these days. As was touched on here, she absorbed two human souls - she’s her, but also more than just her. She’d effectively become a sentinel for her and Dusk’s Snowdin Forest. It had become wild and overgrown, truly a massive fantasy forest, big enough for even her to not quite reach the tops of all the trees... Magic ran wild there, and things were so terribly different, so instinctual and nigh-feral.

... When the machine activated, when she was dragged through... it knocked her out. And when she came to, on her back in a mountain forest, on rather than in a mountain...

She was staring at the wide open sky.

She laid there, for a long time. Staring. Part of her was registering, vaguely, that she wasn’t... underground. Something had happened. But she wasn’t all there, wasn’t all-conscious, either-

-and without the impending threat of their Dyne’s dangerous magic, without the dangerous Intent of monsters seeking to harm her and more importantly those she cared about -

... she basically... stopped moving.

It was kind of like going into a hibernation mode- and thankfully, luck against luck, she was dropped in the mountain range between where the lilytale crew had settled, and where the guys were - sort of averaging the distance - and leaving her in a place that was far too difficult to get to, far from any humans or trails or anything else.

She just laid there, staring at the sky, regardless of the weather, feeling... wrong, but right.

... It takes the girls nearly half a year to find her.

Theoretically, they’d figured at the start their usual magic-tracking for other versions of themselves they’d developed should have blipped if she was out there - but eventually, they began to speculate that might not be the case, thanks to the souls she’d absorbed... Long story short, after a lot of hashing things out, a lot of hikes and patrols later, it was actually one of Alpha’s drones that found her.

...

I’ll skip over the intermediary for now, but let’s just say it’s a heartbreaking ordeal - Dawn doesn’t... Dawn didn’t react, not really... not until they were finally able to get Dusk out there. She was the only one that managed to get Dawn to stir beyond the slightest adjustments. But it was dangerous to move her - she’s some 30 feet tall, after all. In the end, they built a basic cabin there, at the edge of Dawn’s clearing, where Dusk refused to leave and abandon her sister again - and so at least one of the lilytale crew was always with her, too, keeping her company...

and so were you.

Let’s just say there were a lot of protests- and you were frequently picked up and brought home for at least a day once a week - but you weren’t taking no for an answer, wanting to help for at least a bit. After all Dusk had done to try and look out for you after you’d freed her from her bear trap and you’d both been badly injured... you wanted to help. And to help Dusk re-learn English, too, if she wanted.

And, to further simplify things... by the end of the month, you’d noticed a few things - not only was Dawn reacting more to more varied input...

She was also... a little smaller. Just a little, but...

And so, armed with this reassuring hope and potential - the crew congregating and theorizing that perhaps, perhaps Dawn’s body was adjusting to the needs of her environment... or rather, the reduced needs. Slowly but surely, you were able to help Dusk come back to proper life. By the end of the season, a few months later, she still hadn’t said a word, but she appeared to be paying attention to whoever was interacting with her. She’d even interact, depending on the situation - 

-and rather than be 30 feet tall, she was 20 feet.

Still enormous, of course, but it was far more manageable. After a lot of agonizing and strategizing the girls figured out how to transport her safely and discretely back to their house on their own mountainside.

In the end, Dawn only shrunk a few more feet, and she kept her general stature, tail and antlers and all - but she was somewhere in the 16 or 17 foot range, at least, and she wasn’t just paying attention - she was outright attentive. She still didn’t talk, but she also didn’t make much sound at all - you’re not sure if it’s an ability she lost, or it’s just yet another matter of time and readjustment and slow, patient work... but she’s her. A new her, to be sure, but... she does more than watch, and she even seems to have quite the abstract but undeniable sense of humor - even if catching her smiling is a rare treat.

===

Dawn’s favorite time of the week is the night you spend in or around Blade and Twist’s cottage. It’s partially her and Dusk’s, now, too; but they’ve got their own side cottage - if it can be called that. Dusk is even bigger than Blade after all, and Dawn, though nearly half the size she once was, is still a mark above even Twist. The main living area was adjusted to allow Dusk and Dawn to come and spend communal time there, but they sleep in a separate, new dome that Dusk built with Dawn’s help.

See, sometimes on those once-a-week nights you stay in Blade and Twist’s cottage - often in the communal space, so theoretically they could all be there - and well, instead, sometimes you came to their little dome.

It’s just one big room, lined with some plants, some shiny things, countless carvings, lots of soft furs... and with a massive sky-window that started two-thirds of the way up. Dawn honestly didn’t mind sleeping outside, or being in the elements, but she rather liked the way you liked feeling safe in there - in their space. Dusk liked the same thing too, Dawn knew - but sometimes Dusk’s marrow was too restless, too full of awareness of a danger now many universes away that she nonetheless felt the urge to patrol against. Or perhaps, she was just trying to outwalk the ghosts of their mutual past... regardless, when that happened, and you were already asleep in the massive sleeping space in the room that she and Dawn shared... it was just you - you, and Dawn.

Dawn liked that.

She liked the way you would sigh a little in your sleep, soft lips pouting as you turned over, subconsciously aware that one of the enormous bodies that had been a source of heat and safety wasn’t there. You would always turn over in your sleep, hand seeking...

And Dawn would get to lower her hand - practically the size of your torso - and effortlessly scoop you closer to her lap. She would always put extra blankets there - enticement for your soft, small form to seek comfort her bones couldn’t always provide -

-and the way you’d just... immediately settle, that cute furrow in your brow smoothing out as you nuzzled into her form, looking so safe and content in your most vulnerable state...

...

... she always liked to trace a phalange against your skin, feather light, far more controlled than she used to be able to manage. In a gentle sweep, she brush the hair that tickled your face, catching your eyes in the moonlight streaming in from the windowed top of the dome.

...

... and if you were too deeply resting to notice when your sentinel might bow down and shadow your form for a few moments, glowing sockets going dark as she closed her sockets and brushed a gentle kiss to your forehead while lifting you closer for a stolen moment if need allowed...

... well.

With any luck, you’d forgive her as readily as you’d helped her sister bring her back to her own mind.