#i feel im being targeted
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So, what is it?
UHHHHHMMMMMM
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WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS ONE HELPPPPPP
#tortoise anon#randompasserbyhello#help???#i feel im being targeted#what do i do#uhm#AHHHHHHHH#i guess im being arrested for making him deal with terrible guilt 😔
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You know people assume (and like it's their right to do so, its headcanons, etc etc don't come with pitchforks at me) that Bradley's youth queer experience would be very positive given Mav and the implied icemav of it all
But I think instead of making him more open about his sexuality in adulthood (or just unapologetic), it'd give the opposite result
This is to do with that, although he'd see happy queer people (Mav and Ice) behind closed doors, his childhood, mainly in the 80s and 90s, as well as Mav's and Ice's attitudes toward being open about their relationship, would teach him how cruel the world can be and the typical 'better safe than sorry' attitude being queer outside of typical queer spaces brings to many
He could see Mav and Ice love each other very very much, maybe to the point he'd even base his idea of love on them, but he'd also see how much maneuvering would keeping their relationship from the public cost. Sure, there are friends who supported them (flyboys, Carole, etc), but there were also countless people who would destroy their careers and lives if they ever found out (also if Mav ever adopted/fostered him, just suspicions of him being queer could put Bradley back in the system, the way things worked back in the 90s and also given how many fostering agency, even government employed, are christian-lead...)
In the instances someone would come close to discovering it, not only he'd see how distressing it can be but also how much being discovered would cost - whether this is personal safety, job security, respect, etc. And even if the worst didn't come to it, he'd still be left with the foil remarks and hate 'bullying'
As long as DADT was in place, I think he'd be equally if not more careful in comparison to what he had seen while with Mav and/or Ice
If anything I think Jake would have more of the naivety being openly and unashamedly queer takes (whether this is because he grew up in an environment with no visible queer people ergo never saw actual acts of hate toward them, or because he thinks he left the most hateful environment and nothing can be worse than it OR maybe because he is 100% or nothing kind of guy, no matter to what he commits)
#also yes this is specifically in regards to the slow down fic#i think a lot of people under 30 forget how traumatic it is to live with explicitly hateful general population#and maybe im projecting bc coming out as trans for me was hard mainly because it puts a visible target on you while you transition#and i couldn't not mention it like being pan or ace etc#and where i come from homophobia/queerphobia was rampant and present in my daily life to the point of feeling unsafe#completely different to even the smallest of small backwater towns in the uk#bradley rooster bradshaw#hangster#tgm
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#bg3#baldur's gate 3#ketheric thorm#bg3edit#gamingedit#*bg3#*medits#*mgifs#targeted by another sexy old man#userwolfkissed#userdekarios#ive been feeling pretty poopy bout my gifs lately so i havent been taggin ppl#but if ur chill with being tagged lmk! im going to try doing that more often again
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Jewel de Paris!! / Ayakaze Sakina Sayonara Show
#takarazuka#yukigumi#ayakaze sakina#asami jun#sakiaasa#jewel de paris#my gifs#god bless whoever decided to air the sfwb adlib i owe u my life#praying one day they air maeraku on sky stage so i can make a gif of that one too#(aasa made a heart at saki and saki made one back)#i posted the jupari gifs before but they fit w the sfwb gif so#idk if i am happy with these colours but i wanted to post it (sfwb gif)#might make some more gifs from the digest but maybe not#who knows#this was the important one (to me)#(though so is aasa handing the flowers over to saki so)#also thank you raku cameraman for all the closeups of aasa/sakiaasa i feel very personally targeted#im not sure if it was an intentional callback or just. them being them. but it was the first thing i thought watching the stream so#very very cute that aasa was the one to initiate it this time#anyway shutting the fuck up before i start crying over sakiaasa in the tags bc no one asked and if i start i will not stop and i will hit t#e tag limit#anyway#shout out to neiro suwa and kasekyou for being very very cute in the back#takarazuka revue#gifs
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ive changed my mind have another dualities s5 sc
#veni.txt#oh my dualities they make me want to eat my headphone wires#i hate them so bad /aff#also like#i havent at all changed my mind abt the dr**m shit i still hate him BUT#i dont want this blog to be a place where im posting negative things like that#i have plenty of ccs i dislike but i dont post abt them bc theres no point#like ya i could post abt why i hate xyz creator but id rather post abt ro and sticklers and dualities#i mean why would i post abt dr**m when i can post abt how this s5 vod specifically made me feel. OUGH.#bc mapicc was so like worried? protective? of ro after he was banned and revived#he almost killed bacon. his TEAMMATE. for killing ro and not giving the heart back over him and parrots troll#i still think ro being banned in s5 and coming back so squishy is why mapicc is still so worried for him even in s6#like him telling ro to leave the fight during the big war for spawn after bfb tried targetting him a few times#and even if That Specifically could just be him thinking smartly bc of the war he also refused to even hit ro w his sword when ro asked#for the sfx. and it Was ro specifically bc he was happy to smack bacon and offered to crit him instead#nd like he knows damn well bacon is down bad on hearts as well LOL#idt he ever wouldve killed bacon bc id consider bacon one of mapiccs lil chungus friends he cares for too#but like still im clinging to my dualities propaganda bc i think mapicc has a different type of care for ro then he does his usual like#“this person is my friend but also a chungus so i want to make sure they dont get banned or stomped on”#that he has w like planet and bacon yk?#okay i became the tag monster again sry gang#anyways im squeezing dualities until they pop i hate them so bad /aff
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🖤🩶🤍💜
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#kamui gakupo#gackpoid#camui gackpo#gakupo vocaloid#神威がくぽ#asexual#purple#black#alternate title: gakupo if he slayed LMAOOO#man i always forget about ace awareness week despite being a raging ace myself 💀 oops.#but anyways i got reminded. and gakupo keychain arrived yesterday... gakupo is purple.............. so this happened lmao#grrrr ONE DAY ill get good at drawing him 😭😭 i still feel like i suck and idk WHAT it is about him that makes him not work as well#in my style. but grrrrrr i will figure it out at some point... and i WILL git gud at drawing him. i need to. 😔😔😔 i lijke him...#i have those ace sunglasses irl btw LMAO its my only piece of ace merch... fucking $1 target sunglasses 💀💀 lmao. but at least SMTHN#the vision. guys. ace gakupo would be SOOOOOOOO powerful. trust me on this.#also i need to stop being too silly rn and lock the fuck INNN im so screwed lmfao. i got texted by a classmate while drawing this 😭#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT TOMORROW I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABT AND HAVE TO SPEEDRUN. EMAILS. CONFERENCE. AHHH#save me pretty eggplant man.... oguhgghhh. the soundtrack was not helping while drawing this LMFAO. ily fucked up gakupo songs 💜
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another thing i dont like about the belief that soulmates are a strictly romantic thing is like... people in this fandom will be like "aiura and saiki are only not dating because hes aroace" which does not make sense and is weird 😭 so like you think soulmates have to be romantic but it can cancel out if one of them is physically incapable of feeling romantic feelings... which, even though its STRICTLY romantic in your mind, is apparently totally possible and somehow more acceptable than just not dating your "soulmate" because you dont like them like that
"theyre not dating AND hes aroace" makes sense. "theyre not dating BECAUSE hes aroace" does not make sense.
#im definitely not properly phrasing this but i feel like other aroace people will get what i mean#it sets up this weird 'you WOULD like them like that if you werent aroace' thing which is... ough not a good thing to say imo#it makes it seem like them being soulmates means theyre SUPPOSED to be together#and him being aroace is like an anomaly that went wrong#does anyone get what i mean#can we all please just accept that soulmates doesnt automatically mean two people are romantically in love#it makes everything make sense and also not gross#idk maybe this is personal maybe im the only one bothered by this#but i dont think so#im not going to go into why i dont like when people use aroace as a term when they actually strictly mean 'romance averse aromantic'#or 'non-partnering aromantic'#but i digress#whole other conversation#meows post#also i feel like i should tack onto this that yes i was reminded of this because of a post on here but in no way am i targeting them#sometimes this is just a really simple phrasing issue and they probably dont mean it like this at all
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ALSO, like with just about everything about wyll in the full release version i m o, the way his interactions with mizora throughout the game were just sorta ported over without much tweaking to make them fit in with the new version of his character is so weird and clunky and just.... uncomfortable
the fact that mizora was mortal in the original version of the story was kind of an extremely important detail that not only wyll's entire character quest but also their entire relationship and history hinged on. the ea version of mizora was half-human, not a full devil, and according to dnd rules as i understand them, that means she would've had a regular human lifespan. (eta: yes, she's still called a cambion in the full version, but my issue is at some point between ea and full release, all the differences between cambions and devils apparently just up & vanished) so if ea mizora and ea wyll, who were around the same age, met when wyll was 17, that means they met when mizora was also somewhere in the range of her mid/late teens
there's obviously still an unhealthy power imbalance there with her being his patron and all, but there's a pretty big difference between a teenage boy being manipulated by an equally as young teenage girl into signing a pact vs a teenage boy being manipulated by a fully immortal & presumably-already-grown-at-the-time woman into signing himself into her service
and the flirty/sexual dialogue being left in makes this 100x worse. originally, mizora and wyll were explicitly in a romantic relationship that had just ended right before the game started (like literally right before. as in he told you that the nautiloid snatched them up WHILE he was in the middle of giving her his breakup speech (lmao)), but there is literally ZERO reason for the full release version of their relationship to have such a weirdly charged undertone to it??
you can't just take the dynamic of "toxic high school sweethearts who just had an insanely messy breakup 3 days ago after dating for 5+ years" and slap it onto "grownass woman who manipulated a teenage boy into signing his life away to her 5 years ago" with zero acknowledgement of the fact that that changes literally everything??
like sorry, this isn't just petty exes bickering anymore. this is now reading as nonstop sexual harassment, and to someone without the context of this happening due to a messyass rewrite (or even with it tbh), it's weird as fuck that some characters get entire arcs dedicated to unpacking the trauma that comes from being trapped in this exact dynamic, but with wyll, neither he nor the player ever get a chance to try to stop it or even really acknowledge the fact that it's happening in any significant way
the sloppiness of this whole rewrite is actually insane to me
#bg3#larian critical#i guess pt2. for blacklists#god ok im done being negative for now i promise.... im just like really actually shocked by how much i disliked the final half of act 3#as one of the like 3 ea wyll STANS and probably the only human being in the venn diagram overlap of ea wyll stans & sarevok stans#act 3 feels like a targeted attack on ME specifically jgnjkfvnm#it's just crazy how hasty it all feels like even the weird little leftovers from his ea plot in act 1???#like the corpse on the beach that still talks about mizora being in the crash#and the person on the bridge still having an item marked as a quest item... for his original ea quest... which no longer exists#sorry but how fast were yall rushing that you missed imo pretty obvious stuff like that. its just so wild#nd yeah the only black companion being the only one to never rly get the chance to speak up for himself#and being the only one with like... pretty much ZERO autonomy over anything that happens to him......#really not a great look lol
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if y’all see me checking in here at 5am for the next month mind yo business
#the old sims videos carried me through staying up during quarantine ramadan but im too old for that shit now i need sleep#something really endearing about me and the moots going inactive for give or take 8 ish hours every night#and doing it all over again the next day#but idk if i will be able to stop myself from doing a little check in at Morning Meal#no one has my post notifs on… right…#idk why im trying to be cryptic i tried not to be too personal on here and failed yes i will be partaking in muslim hungry month#I haven’t been in a fandom space in years… i remember it was such a thing to joke about trying to stop reading fic for the month lol#listen… i fear my writing juice has been low for a while anyways… might lower my gaze a lil but yaoi is absolutely still on the table#again wasn’t going to talk about this bc most of y’all are not the target audience but it is a part of me people contain multitudes etc#this is my first one in years not in school or working so i feel reeealllyyyyy weird about it like my permanent state of being rn#is just… guilt for existing#which is so lame#but anyways i just wanted to do this once… i cannot stop myself from random yapping on my own blog this is my outlet#but i promise no subjection to talking about hunger or cravings bc that’s just annoying#ok no one is reading this that’s all <3
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im acc so close to writing like an essay defending cherryblade because i've seen a good amount of hate towards it
i know nobody will care but ughh idk it makes me so upset considering theres literally only 2 people on tumblr who actively post about shipping it and all that
#i dont want to convince anyone#or change minds#because i know i wont#but i just want to talk about why i ship it#and because im frustrated with there being hate for it#when literally NOBODY but me and charlotte post regularly about the ship on tumblr#so it feels kind of targeted#and it just makes me weirdly upset#i dont expect everybody to ship it btw#i just dont want to see hate for it
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i love my egg magazines as much as the next gal but the sex stories are simply…… not for me. especially as a 28 year old woman i do not want nor do i have any business reading about the explicit sexcapades of high school girls
and the way they are included just feels so juvenile and voyeuristic
especially since the creator of egg and most of its staff were grown ass men
i keep asking myself who are these for???? in an ideal vacuum of a world the answer would be other teens but given the production that goes into the mag i just don’t believe that. not entirely
i’m of course pro sex and i think it’s important for teens to healthily and safely explore their own sexualities but this is none of those things
in summary: it’s mega weird to me that the adults on the egg magazine staff were asking teenage girls to send in their sex stories and then would go on to publish said stories
#the girls featured in egg are hardly ever over 23#and almost all of the sex stories involve high schoolers#like i recognize im not the target demographic but it still gives me the ick#and the way these girls are talked about in the magazine is so gross too#and you just know some grown ass man wrote it too#gross gross gross#it just doesn’t feel like it’s women being empowered by sex#not even women really#literal teenage girls
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when sapkowski is all “i don’t believe in absolute evil” like he didn’t write like vilgefortz and leo bonhart and birkart grellenort likeeee okkkk but those guys were preeeetty evil though
#likeeee it kind of seems to me that… they got pretty close. to absolute evil. you know#like uhhh… nilfgaardian invasion detailed in baptism of fire anyone#though ok ok his point was that there is no absolute evil as in being motivated by evil itself#that evil always has its own motivations and those motivations can be evil but it’s not evil for the sake of being evil#HOWEVER that being said i feel like bonhart really was just evil for the sake of being evil#you could say for the sake of sadism or for greed (him being the anti-geralt lol and actually being a stereotyped idea of witcher ngl)#buuuut i feel like sadism and greed are just niche evils themselves#with vilgefortz and the wallcreeper and also emhyr (didnt mention his ass at first but throw him in too) they’re more just power hungry#and wanting revenge on those that wronged them (interesting because isn’t this also what our protags want—minus the power)#anyways reviewing these interviews again has me 😂😳😌 but also 🤨#sometimes i feel like (with this discussion on evil) the economics background really shines through LMAO#like well sometimes i feel like there really is evil that is evil evil. sometimes people are just hateful and targeting with their hate#and you know this yourself bc you wrote it wtf#like you’re not gonna call the human peasants who slaughtered the dwarves and elves in rivia evil? i would call that absolute evil#maybe not their entire lives but in that instance true evil manifested#i feel like the definition of evil im getting at is hate and bloodthirst#which yeah sometimes that exists for no reason whatsoever#i mean it can be based out of economic ‘reasoning’ (manipulated into propaganda) to scapegoat a population and target of hate#but it quickly excels past any reason whatsoever. yeahh i dont think evil always has a motivation outside of evil. disagree#the elbow-high diaries#also there’s more context here i’m leaving out bc its just too much to talk about in the tags of this post
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hozier really out here speaking directly to my mental health issues
#DO YOU KNOW I COULD BREAK BENEATH THE WEIGHT#IF THE GOODNESS LOVE I STILL CARRY FOR YOU#THAT ID WALK SO FAR JUST TO TAKE THE INJURY OF FINALLY KNOWIN' YOU#IT AINT THE BEING ALONE#(sha la la)#IT AINT THE EMPTY HOME BABY#(sha la la~)#YOU KNOW IM GOOD ON MY OWN#(~sha la la)#SHA LA LA BABYY#YOU KNOW ITS MORE TO BEING UNKOWN#im feeling fucking TARGETED#andrew how could you DO this to me#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#unreal unearth#unknown / nth#CUS YOU WERE LIKE AN ANGEL TO ME
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really sucks when you realize you and a friend have just kind of grown up as two different people and don’t mesh together like you used to and like you have so much history you don’t wanna let go of but you’re absolutely miserable in the friendship
#to delete#the girl i’ve been friends with over half my life is just so insufferable now#she’s very pick me and likes to nitpick absolutely everything for no reason#absolutely DESPISES genz and tiktok for some reason#puts down everything about me and it feels targeted but she does it in ways that it comes across like it’s not#so when i call her out on picking on dumb things like kpop fans or genz i look like a psycho bitch#she very much just has to speak up on everything she dislikes instead of just letting people be happy#like it’s shit that’s not bothering anyone#she once went OFF because i’m afraid of bugs and ‘most girls’ are afraid of bugs but SHE isn’t afraid of them#and im like yes girl we pick you please stfu#it’s always just little stuff that doesn’t matter but 98% of the time has to do w something i like or don’t like#so it feels targeted and then i speak up and the rest of our friends are like ‘calm down it’s not that deep’#idk i just like…..she feels the opposite about a lot of things i feel#and then has to act superior for being opposite of me#also being so angry over a generation of young adults/kids and an app for no reason……#idk we just don’t go well together anymore and idk how to bring it up
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Hi, folks! Please remember to heed the label on my ask box when you send me things. Please be kind! I'm a human person with thoughts and feelings and stuff.
I don't control which posts of mine get popular, and nobody expects their half-thought out shitposts intended for like four people to blow up.
It's totally fine to disagree with my takes and say so, but it would be more helpful I think to make an addendum to my post in a reblog, and not to message me personally about it. Thanks!
#im never really trying to upset anyone when i post things but i can understand seeing a post that just makes you feel targeted in a mean way#that's not fun! i'm sorry if i made anyone feel like that. that's not what i'm trying to do when I make posts.#all that being said; though; i do have the right to express my thoughts and opinions online and will continue to do so.#you don't have to listen if you don't like is the nice thing :)
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every time i see a post that is like "ughh why cant we have aspec characters who aren't aroace for once" I have to do a double take like "is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?" because genuinely....where is all this aroace rep y'all are complaining about? Why cant i find it yet it's apparently the only aspec rep we get?? You admit that TV never says the word aromantic so where is the aroace rep. So far I've pretty much only seen canonically asexual characters and not much else buddy.
#text#half the time i think these ppl see other aspec ppl saying that x character feels aroace and then they take it as canon rep#instead of an interpretation of the character which likely was never meant to be written as aspec at all#because majority of people don't even know what that is#this isn't me saying that we shouldn't have aroallo or alloace rep btw#this is me complaining about people throwing aroace ppl under the bus because apparently we are 'hogging' all the representation in media#and it just reads as people being aphobic towards aroace people specifically and it drives me insane#you can ask for more aroallo and alloace characters without complaining and shitting on aroace characters????#like bro we are all on the same fucking team. we are all trying to get seen and understood. we all want to see ourselves in media#stop fighting like one of us is somehow way more privileged than the other because 'you have x rep'#we all have crumbs my guy. just because someone else is getting crumbs doesn't mean that its your crumbs being taken.#idk i see so many posts like this and it makes me feel so unwelcome in the aro and ace communities#im tired of aroace people being used as a scapegoat that you can target to pretend like you're punching up#when in reality you're just committing friendly fire against people who are on your team#i miss when the aro and ace communities used to like... work together as a big aspec community#now ppl r way too focused on separating them and acting like they have nothing in common and don't have the same goals#and both communities now tend to put a lot of blame onto aroace people because of stereotypes we never had control over in the first place#it's exhausting#like the aphobia is coming from inside the house#i didn't go through the ace discourse on tumblr to deal with this shit.
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