#i feel extremely self-conscious about this one
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0phantom0 · 17 hours ago
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heyy! could you do a female reader x paige where they are dating and reader is feeling insecure so when they are doing ykw.. she asks to turn the lights off but paige comforts her ?? thank you!!
absolutely! Thank you for the suggestion!
Low Lights - P.B
pairing: Paige Bueckersx fem reader
warnings: kinda smutty and suggestive
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I was at home cooking some dinner for tonight, I was exhausted but extremely giddy, awaiting Paige's arrival. Paige was staying the weekend at my place, something we had only decided last minute.
The pasta was boiling as I was stirring the sauce, the sharp smell going through my nose and sitting on my tounge, almost tasting it. I was humming a song I listened to earlier, a subtle buzz coming from the fan above. suddenly a soft knock could be heard at the front door, I tapped the wooden spoon on the side of the pot and then layed it down on the countertop.
Joyfully skipping down the hall and opening the door, I was met with a cool breeze but best of all, my beautiful girlfriend smiling blissfully at me. I looked down to see the beautiful orchids she had bought me, in a faded pink pot with a white, frilly bow wrapped around. I gasped in pure joy, my smile shining all over my face as I cautiously took a hold of the precious gift in one hand, and wrapping my arm around Paige with the other. " Hi babyyy" she squealed into my hair, streatching out the 'y' in 'baby' " Hi P!" I said, kicking the door open further with my foot. I grabbed her hand and pulled her inside my mellow house
" Smells good in here, watcha' makin'?" she said, pulling me backwards into her chest and nuzzling her nose in my neck "pasta" I quietly murmer, resting my head back towards her rocking slightly as I let Paige hold me in hers rong arms.
an hour later, we're sitting on the sofa, cuddled up together in a mess of limbs and love. My head is on her chest, arms fisted on her shirt, holding her close to me. P's arm is playing with my hair, while her other arm is stroking my arm softly. we're watching a film that KK recommended for us, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind was the title, a beautiful movie, a bit strange at first but you have to understand it to relise the meaning behind it.
I was tring to pay attention to the dialouge, but that was difficult when I felt paiges dazzling eyes were practically burning holes in the back of my head. The movie now being discarded as background noise, the words now just mumbles we cant quite string together. I looked up towards her, to see her smiling at me, eyes scanning my face in love and adoration. Her hand travels from up my arm to the side of my face, stroking it gently. She leaned in for a kiss, our lips meeting like they were always meant to be together, day in and day out. Even though me and Paige have kissed almost a million times, they always feel as special and as wholesome as the first.
But the second kiss was slightly different, it felt more passionate, more needy, Paige's hand was slowly grasping my hip and my waist, pulling me on top of her. The kisses became more sloppy. She was kneeding my hips, as I was softly pulling at her hair and grinding against her. She started kissing down my neck, I was letting out small whimpers at the contact, then she bit my neck, slightly shocked because it stung a little, but it hurt.. good?. I moaned softly and the lewd noises riled Paige up as she began to move her hands up my stomache and towards my bra, unclasping it carefully. I was so lost in the moment that I didnt relise Paige's hands drifting down under my sweats and reaching for the band of my panties. My breath hitched but not in a pleasured way, suddenly feeling self conscious about myself.
"Is this okay baby?" Paige gasped into my ear seductivly. I was silent, I didnt know what to say, all the thoughts ran out of my head as soon as the words registerd.
Paige, noticing my disjection in my movement, immediatly removing her hand from my underwear, and moved her head so her eyes met mine. " Whats wrong baby? Is everything 'kay?" she said, worry laced in her tone and wearing a nervous expression. I tried to speak but my words got caught in my throat, the only thing to come out of my mouth was strangled sobs as I coverd my face with my hands. "Sweetheart please dont cry, i'm so sorry, did I do something wrong?"
i shook my head slowly as my hands lowerd " I want to I do, c-can we ple-ease turn off the l-lights?" I mumbled incoherently. " Why do you want to do that doll Is everything okay? Talk to me." she wavers. I sniffle, taking a deep breath before speaking " I just dont l-like how I look dow-n there." Paigfe moves her big hands up my waist and cups my face, caressing it softly " You know, your so beautiful and I don't think that anything like that would put me off loving you, I understand you dont think that you look good down there, but I promise you, to me you are more beautiful than anything, inside and out." She explains " We can try again another day, but i promise your the most beautiful thing I have ever layed eyes on my love. I think we should get some rest for now baby." She wipes the tears away from my face, kissing me sweetly. I nod moving my head to lie on her collerbone. paige moves her hand around to the small of my back and holds me gently, untill sleep takes over our lovesick souls.
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A/N: Thank you for this suggestion! It was very fun to write, i wasnt sure If you wanted smut in it but this is how i thought it shoukld have been planned out!
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feinv · 2 days ago
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hey cuties!! missed u so so much and i wanna know ur thoughts on low honor and high honor arthur,, like what's the difference??
high honor arthur vs low honor arthur.
cw. nsfw under cut. female reader.
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well, it’s not a surprise that high honor arthur dedicates his days trying to do good in his world. he is self-conscious about himself, no matter how many times he gets called a good man, he always brushes those comments off. frankly, he thinks he is damned and will never be forgiven for his sins. he doesn’t believe he deserves anything nice. and he especially doesn’t believe he deserves you.
but you are with him, so he has no other choice but to be a better man for you, one you truly deserve. this man is so whipped, and after his failed love life he is eager to make it work. he is not exactly experienced in relationships, is awkward from times to times, doesn’t know when is the right time to hold your hand, to kiss you, to get intimate with you.
how soon is too soon? he just doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so he would rather constantly ask you and look like a virgin who never felt a touch of a woman than to ruin the special connection you two have :(
he is extremely sweet to you, treats you like a literal princess and makes you feel like you are living in a fairy tale. i wrote here a long time ago how he always takes care of you when you are on your period and here how he treats you in general! ultimately, he is going to settle down with you in a small house you two will call a home. he will do all the hard work but also help you with house chores as well. as much as he doesn’t trust himself after what happened with eliza and isaac, he still wants a family with you.
it’s a whole other story with low honor arthur.
he knows he isn’t a good man, and he isn’t trying to be. he knows he is damned and a sinner, and he also knows that all he wants is to corrupt you in every sense and ruin you for anyone else.
i wrote here and here about how low honor arthur treats you in general. he is still nice to you, his smiled reserved only for you, but with his sweet words, his rough actions always follow behind. you best believe his first answer to anything is violence. he tries not to be an asshole to others in front of you, but to be honest he always fails.
i picture low honor arthur to be more traditional in regards to gender roles. he is more of a feminist than other cowboys in his time can ever be, but in his mind it’s only right if he does the dirty job of haunting, killing, cutting wood and so on, while you take care of the house you two share.
high honor arthur always takes his time with you during sex. he refuses to lay you down on anything other than his mattress, an actual bed, or a soft grass. always relaxes your entire mind and body before he makes sweet love to you. this man is a switch and he prefers to submit to you just as much as he likes taking control.
low honor arthur just takes you on every surface he can get. trust this man to consider slowing down only when you are about to pass out from euphoria. there is no stopping if he starts. he is dominant. always. in every situation.
high honor arthur’s love is sweet, gentle and caring, while low honor’s is just rough, brutal and corruptive.
this is what me thinks.
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# arthur morgan masterlist. | main mlist. | join the taglist.
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lailoken · 1 day ago
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Over the past few weeks, some extremely difficult and triggering stuff has been coming up in my life relating to acute trauma I experienced as a minor. I have done a lot of major healing from this trauma, and I know that recovering from traumatic events is an ongoing process, but even still, I have been truly shaken to realize just how much hurt and confusion there still is to untangle inside of me. This has also been a lot to contend with during what has already been an unusually hard and painful year.
While seeking solace from my Spirit Kith, I have been told rather directly that what I'm dealing with is the spiritual equivalent of a broken bone that healed improperly in some places, and that I am finally capable of mending that "structural damage." However, I was told firmly, but kindly, that the only way to fully remediate this wound is to re-break and re-set the proverbial bone, which is an inherently excruciating process.
I feel extremely self-conscious sharing anything about this, but I do so with the hopes of not living with shame, as well as helping others to understand another aspect of my continued struggle to keep up with social media as I seek the help I need. So, thank you for being patient with me and remembering that I am human this past year. It has been a rough one for me, but I am determined to make the best of it.
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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 days ago
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Update: It went well! I said things that I have not said in stand-up before, and people laughed at it! That was a big barrier for me. When I first tried stand-up a year ago, I told one story across the whole six minutes and people actually laughed at it, so every time I performed after that, I thought, I know people will laugh if I tell that one story. But if I try something else, it might be terrible. So I just kept refining that one story. Cutting it down to pull the punchlines closer together, adding new jokes to replace the previous filler. I think that story has now turned into a pretty strong and tight six minutes (as opposed to how it started, which had to be padded a lot to be able to do a whole six-minute set with only one story).
I had exactly one other bit that I did a few times last year, and worked well the first time and then badly but then well again. And I added some stuff to that too. But I just tacked it on before jumping into my original story.
Two nights ago (when I wrote this post) was the first time I performed without telling any of that original story. Which is why I was freaking out in the bathroom beforehand, thinking that I'm not sure I'm able to actually write funny stuff, maybe I just happened to hit on one funny story and that's it, I'll try this other thing and confirm that women are not, in fact, funny.
Weirdly, I'm more self-conscious about the other comedians than the audience. I want the audience to find me funny, but if they don't, it's not the end of the world since I won't see them again. What I'm really scared of is the comedians at the back of the room, who will hear me try this, and I don't want them to think, "Wow, how could she have been so stupid as to think that could possibly be funny?" And then never book me for a show again.
But that did not happen! The audience liked it! I did one completely new thing that lasted about 4 minutes, and then found a quite smooth way to transition into that "second bit" that I'd done before, and it worked again. But the new story worked too! I now have a third bit! A year and a half after I first performed comedy (though I've been very off and on with it so I've not actually performed many times), I have finally gotten myself a third bit. It's extremely slow progress. But I think at this point, I could probably fill a fifteen-minute set without much filler. I haven't - I did six minutes the other night, and the longest set I've ever done is seven minutes. But for the first time, I feel like I could do over ten and not run out of stuff to say.
It also felt like a bit of a breakthrough, getting the idea that new things I try will not always fall completely flat, and making me feel more confident about the idea that next time I get to perform, I want to try a couple of other new ideas that I've been thinking about for a while. I'm excited about this. I've got the rest of my life - job, living situation - relatively stable, and I can try other things. Also the two guys who run that night are really nice and told me that I should request spots there more often. Then the next night (last night) I went out to a different local comedy night, just to watch, it was actually a lot of fun and several of the comics told me they liked my stuff and I'm excited about it.
Anyway. Things are good right now. I'm off work for the school holidays, which means I have two weeks of freedom and also a third stand-up routine. It's a good day.
Fun fact about being the only woman on a comedy bill: if you're nervous before your set, you can pace in the women's bathroom and know that no one will come in there.
Source: Am posting this from a comedy venue's women's bathroom. If I die tonight, it will confirm the views of any audience member who thinks women aren't funny.
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rillils · 2 years ago
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notes: I’ve been going through a bit of a rough time lately, writer’s block being just one of the issues, so I thought I’d put everything on hold for a little while, grab a prompt from a prompt generator and see what happened. Today’s prompt was: cooking for one another or cooking together. Here goes nothing :3 wordcount: 1137 additional tags: modern setting – no powers AU, pre-serum Steve, fluff fluff fluff, domesticity, they haven’t tied the knot yet but they’ve been practically married since they were 15 pass it on. You can also find this ficlet on AO3!
🍂🍁🍂
November has the crisp sound of crushed leaves, and the color of Bucky’s cheeks stung pink by the wind.
His smile is a soft thing when he reaches his arm out to wrap around Steve’s shoulders, herding him close into his side. “Wanna head back?”
Steve shrugs, “Yeah, if you want,” but his head has already found its natural place in the Steve-shaped slot under Bucky’s chin, where the wool lining of Bucky’s coat collar will tickle his cheek all the way home.
“I’m not cold, though,” Steve wishes to inform him, while Bucky guides them down the street at an easy promenade pace.
“’Course not,” Bucky agrees, punctuating the sentiment with a kiss to the top of Steve’s ruffled head. “Should have worn a hat there, Stevie. Wanna borrow mine? You know I don’t mind.”
“Nah, I’m fine.”
“’Kay.” A beat of silence. Two. Three. “Hey, you’ve got your gloves on, right?”
“Sure,” Steve replies, slipping his very much bare hand into the warmth of Bucky’s coat pocket.
“Uh-huh,” Bucky hums against Steve’s temple, absolutely and irrevocably one-hundred-percent fooled. “You know you’ll end up getting frostbite again, don’t ya.”
His voice brushes warmly against Steve’s cold skin, and Steve soaks it up like it’s the last summer sun, ducking his head low so Bucky won’t see him grin. “Yes, Ma.”
If Bucky then chooses crime and deliberately tickles him just under his ribs, over the spot he’s known since 2nd grade will make Steve produce the most embarrassingly high-pitched squeals, then Steve may have, perhaps, had it coming just a little bit.
He catches their reflection in the shop windows as they pass by; there’s Bucky’s grinning profile right there, his bangs mussed by the cold breeze, stirring fuzzily under his beanie; Steve’s own laughing face, the red tip of his nose, and their legs stepping together in perfect sync, one-two, one-two, fluid and easy, like they have a million times before. It fills him with a soft kind of awe, the way they move as one. If life was a poem, Steve is sure their bodies would rhyme.
Bucky’s hand curls snugly around his shoulder, bringing them just that little bit closer. “Let’s make something nice and warm for dinner.”
“Can it have potatoes?”
He doesn’t need to see Bucky’s smile; he can hear it in his voice, soft and amused, half-hidden in the fluff of Steve’s hair.
“Deal.”
*
Steve leans back against the kitchen island, cuddling a steaming cup of tea to his chest, watching the room – watching Bucky – come to life one ingredient at a time.
Bucky throws him a knowing glance, knife in his right hand, the sleeves of his sweater already pulled back to the elbows. “Are you gonna help at all?”
Steve smiles behind the rim of his cup. “Nope.”
“Called it.”
Dinner is a soft, long-rehearsed symphony, and Steve stands close by and listens gratefully, warmth curling like tender fingers in his chest.
The gentle rhythm of Bucky’s knife on the cutting board, chopping carrots into wedges and dicing potatoes into neat little cubes. The silken glide through pork, cut into bite-sized pieces. The languorous sizzle of onion tossed for a sweet little waltz in a drizzle of oil and a scoop of butter, and the splash of wine from the first and only bottle they’ve bought since moving in, and forgot in the back of a cabinet for months. The lazy simmer of the stew muttering quietly on the stove, like the old ladies in the front rows at Mass, with too many tales to tell and not enough time in between Hail Mary’s to spill them all.
Steve gathers every drop of it, of home wrapping her familiar embrace around him, and leans into the sound with his eyes closed, savoring it, Mm.
“You getting sleepy?”
Bucky’s looking at him curiously; Steve allows himself the pleasure of looking back, taking the time to drink him in. The steam from the pot has caused Bucky’s short hair to curl against his brow, and his eyes are smiling even when his mouth is not, and the hoop of Steve’s apron, the one that says Stick a fork in me, I’m done, sits a little too high around his neck. He’s never looked as beautiful, as heartbreakingly sweet as this. The very same thought crosses Steve’s mind spontaneously at least once every day, and every day it feels just as true as the one before.
“No,” he says, closing his eyes again, “I just like watching you.”
He can hear Bucky’s amused snort loud and clear over the bubble-de-bubble of their stew. “Anybody ever tell you you’re a weirdo, honey?”
Steve hums, contentment spreading from the center of his belly to the length of his limbs, reaching down to his fingers and toes.
“All the time, Buck.”
*
Their ankles twine like young roots under the table.
“Here, tell me how it is.”
Bucky feeds him the first spoonful from his own plate, and Steve indulges him, diligently opening up for the spoon.
Flavor unfolds like a many-layered story on his tongue: the sweet tang of rosemary, a whisper of black pepper, the tender bite of pork and the enticing juice of carrot – each voice speaks to him, describing a richness that cannot come from herbs and spices alone.
It’s the measure of everyday devotion; the care that was poured in every gesture, the peeling and the cutting, the stirring and the dishing. The simple pleasure of making something from scratch and saying, without words, For you.
Steve feels the grin bubble up from the well of his chest. The potato’s so soft, it melts like spun sugar on his tongue.
“Well?”
Bucky’s watching him closely; a small, near-shy smile curling his lips.
There’s something in his eyes, in the way they soften like this, in the gleam always kindled within, that Steve has failed to put a name to since he first saw it there.
Perhaps – he thinks, not for the first time – perhaps it needs no name, only a heart to feel it. And he does feel it, every time Bucky looks at him like this. Deep, deep-set here in his heart, in his stomach; in the golden crucible where tenderness is made.
“Come on, don’t leave me hanging,” Bucky prods. “Does it taste okay?”
It tastes like so many murmurs of ‘I love you’, is what Steve truly wants to say; but that’s a little secret he’ll keep to himself for now.
He snuggles his sock-clad feet between Bucky’s calves, like he often does on cold nights, when Bucky pulls him back against his chest, and their legs lock together like puzzle pieces under the duvet.
“It’s perfect,” Steve says.
Bucky’s eyes crinkle softly with his smile. Like poetry, Steve tells himself, as he lifts his own spoon.
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zylphiacrowley · 10 months ago
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I'm sorry my hands are shaking, I don't normally feel this way...
<previous - next>
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j-esbian · 4 months ago
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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velvetvexations · 6 months ago
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Here to support you. It’s understandable for you to be angry unfortunately. But you’ve got a handle on it I believe
someone I until a few minutes ago followed put a post on my dash and I went to OP's blog and they were like "I don't talk a lot about trans issues" and I was like "your post about it was really bad so maybe you should talk about it less" followed seconds later by instant regret and an apology for being too mean because telling trans people to not talk about transphobia is if nothing else a bad look
I've said this before but Fantasy High Junior Year was incredibly timed for me personally for being themed around rage (or at least attempting to be), because the discourse about it on Reddit prompted me to delete my account and come back to Tumblr where I've had to examine my anger issues a lot deeper than ever before
Kipperlilly Copperkettle may not be a kin but she turned out in a late-season twist to be more deeply relatable than I ever could have imagined and that was when my interest in her went from spiting the people that irrationally hated her to Queen of Velvet Blorbos
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n3ongold3n · 8 months ago
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fortune-maiden · 5 months ago
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five uses of the word 'but' in over 4k words should be okay right...
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its-all-papaya · 2 months ago
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FIC WRITER INTERVIEW
ty for the tag @bright-and-burning booping u like a tumblr cat paw
How many works do you have on AO3?
uhhhh six if you count the lestappen i put on anon and the comp thing that's just a collection of kiss prompt fills that did not become their own fics
What's your total AO3 word count?
35,045
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
even if it ends (460)
anybody, nowhere (319)
the devil in me (310)
gentle with the ache (236) i am this fic's deadbeat dad like i'm not going to pretend i didn't write it but you can only interact with it if ur gonna be nice bc it makes me want to scream cry & throw up
the hollow hereafter (217)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i literally respond to every single comment ! if i don't know what to say i will think of something ! comments literally keep me alive. like i joke about writing for attention but genuinely the thought of receiving comments and reblog tags is what keeps me going on my wip's. i have the biggest praise kink that has EVER existed and god knows nobody is praising me for anything ever in my real life, so i gotta take what i can get. it's insane that real people read my words and have enough thoughts about them to like... type those thoughts out. so i must thank every individual person with a heart and a virtual kiss on their head.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
even if it ends for suuuure. i had people threatening self-harm in the ao3 bookmarks of that one in a loving way, and that's without even knowing about the rich inner life that i didn't expand on the way i originally planned to. in my brain, oscar has already decided to leave mclaren by the time the events of that fic happen bc their teammateship has gotten so self-destructive, so lando's "you can't stay" and oscar's "i know, but i want to anyway" is so much more knife-to-the-heart than y'all even realize.
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
uh. i don't really want to count the kiss prompts because they don't really exist to me as fic, so... anybody, nowhere i guess? the devil in me is not NOT happy. can i cheat and say dad lando even though it doesn't actually exist yet?
Do you write crossovers?
no jesus christ i can barely write characters outside of oscar and lando (and apparently max fewtrell according to like two people). adding in even MORE variables is making me nauseous just thinking about it.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
"hate" is a strong word but there is a reason that my lestappen is on anon now.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
i do write it sometimes, but not very successfully (glaring at u lestappen garbage). i have two landoscar wip's that are basically pwp, but i just don't really think i'm good at smut, so idk if they'll ever go anywhere for real. the pacing is simply so impossible to me. like how soon is too soon to have an orgasm. also like 90% of my writing is just knockoff versions of my own emotions from various points, and so as someone who only hooks up with people for reasons not really related to actually getting off, i find it really really hard to write the build-up and come-down from smut WHILE ALSO really struggling with the actual acts. like what are normal people's brains doing before during and after making someone come? bc i guarantee it is not what my brain does. it just doesn't really compute unfortunately.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i don't think my fics have existed long enough to be stolen tbh.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
no
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
no but i wrote literally millions of words while roleplaying in any number of ships back in the day.
What's your all-time favorite ship?
i think probably steve/bucky of the marvel universe? i don't really fw it much at this exact moment because endgame literally ruined my life for a bit, but that's probably the ship i've enjoyed the most over the years.
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
honestly all of my wip's outside of dad lando and that nutcracker thing i'm definitely not writing shhh. I will fight shave fic eventually i think. the wip that's absolutely never getting finished the most securely is the fake dating thing based on that kiss prompt i filled in like july. like it's a 50k concept that i have like 5k worth of motivation for.
What are your writing strengths?
um. i think just, like. prose that sounds nice? i think i did a good job putting readers inside of lando's head in anybody, nowhere, so i'd say i'm occasionally good at translating emotion/headspace too. actually i'll go ahead and say that about all of my published landoscar, because i think that's even if it ends' strength too. dad lando is less that way, but it has other things going for it.
What are your writing weaknesses?
i'm really really mean to myself, so it's hard to pick just one. i'm bad at writing characters distinctly i think. like i just make them do things based on what feels good in my brain and just hope that y'all don't think they're OOC, but whenever i stop to think "what would oscar say here?" it's like... blank. bc i don't know. and it's really MUCH worse with everyone outside of landoscar. i also don't think my pacing is very good and i get hung up on details people won't care about and also i have a compulsive need to make EVERYTHING a metaphor. i'm going to stop there bc insecurity isn't very cute but i also over-edit and introduce too many threads and i could literally go on all night
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i don't honestly see the point? because either you provide a translation, which defeats the purpose, or you don't, which makes it a secret for some readers but NOT the ones who speak the language in question. i'm spoiled by native-english-speakers landoscar as my primary ship, but i think if i ever wanted to write a convo between like. charles and pierre, ig, i would just write it in english and be like "they said in french" afterwards of smthn, idk. i think the only time i've written in not-english is that lestappen "after a long wait" kiss prompt and it was like a language device (haha) and not dialogue.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
i've only ever published on ao3 for F1. way way back i used to fill prompts on tumblr for one direction, which was the first fandom content of any kind that i wrote. the first actual fanfic i ever typed into a word document was finnpoe from the star wars sequel trilogy. so depends how you wanna define!
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
i got really really spooked by my lestappen adventure because it actually broke my brain for a bit, so now i'm scared to write anything but landoscar. i think the most likely non-landoscar ship i'd write is maxiel, probably? i saw them across the bar and loved their vibe. daniel feels kind of impossible for me to write though so idk if i ever will.
What's your favorite fic you've written?
anybody, nowhere i think, because i think it's the most complete thing i've done. i also really love how even if it ends turned out too, which is crazy bc i haaaaated it mid-writing process. i think it feels really like... i don't know. gritty? messy in a way that makes it authentic? idk how to describe. i think even if it ends has my favorite characterizations i've written for both lando AND oscar. but anybody, nowhere is my firstborn and i treasure her, so. yeah. tie, maybe.
tagging @fear8not1 (i know ur like. not on tumblr. but in case u would like to) and @volantium !!
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thevioletcaptain · 1 year ago
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the next customer to ask me "what's wrong with your eye?" is getting thrown into the sea :)
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autumnalwalker · 2 years ago
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Pride Month Drabble Challenge: Day 23, Smile
Reblog of the challenge rules with links to my posts is here.
“Look!  They’ve got the tillandsias growing upside down to look like jellyfish!”
“Cute.”
“I’ve seen photos online of setups like this but it’s the first time I’ve seen one in person.”
“So, buying one?”
“I’d prefer to make my own holder and pick my own plant for it, but… Oh!  They have spanish moss!”
“...”
“They never have spanish moss in stock here.  I don’t know why, it’s not like it’s even that exotic.”
“...”
“New plan, I’m making jellyfish out of this.  Do you think we have room for another hanging in front of the living room window?  I’d put it out on the balcony but I don’t think it’s native to the area.”
“...”
“I guess we could set up another grow lamp, but I’d rather not bump up the electric bill any more than it already is.  Maybe something with mirrors…”
“...”
“What?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“You look like you’re about to start laughing.  What’s the joke?”
“No joke.  I just love seeing you like this.  Right up there with listening to you talk about space.”
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yrieso · 2 years ago
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im either about to kill my dance teacher or kill myself
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sunflowerwinds · 14 days ago
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OKAY I really love your sevika fics and your pinned says requests open and I apologize if THIS IS WEIRD but I have an idea - thigh riding with sevika CAUSE LIKE SHE HAS 😭 REALLYNICE THIGHS LIKE REALLY NICE THEYRE SO MUSCLY oooooh
a little help | s.a
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summary: you’ve been feeling a bit more self conscious about your body which seems noticed by sevika. you agree to help her workout but what you don’t expect is to get something out of it too.
pairing: fem!reader x sevika arcane
contains: mature content (18+) MEN & MINORS DNI, talks of body image and weight insecurity, restricting food consumption (only happens once), smut including thigh riding (as requested 🫣), shower sex, fingering (r!receiving), body worship, SO MUCH PRAISE!!!
word count: 3.7K
a/n: i sort self inserted due to the fact that i wrote this when i was extremely insecure. i hope everyone enjoys! thank you angels <3
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When Sevika asked you to help her ‘workout’, you assumed that meant just being her spotter at her little makeshift gym in your home.
As you stepped into said gym in your basic loungewear, you glanced over at Sevika’s stretching figure. Your eyes linger down her revealed toned body, a cropped tank top covering half of her torso and a pair of running shorts hugging her bottom half.
You were shamelessly gawking at her toned figure but snapped back into reality when you heard her clear her throat. Your eyes shot to hers, your cheeks hot from the attention.
“You ready?” Sevika hums as she flexes her open-finger gloved hands.
You nod but your brows furrow before pointing at the different equipment setups.
“Where do you want to start?”
Sevika motioned to the flat weight bench, tilting her head at you.
“Hip thrusts, baby,” she leans down to peck your lips. “It’s leg day.”
You glance at her legs subconsciously, admiring her tight and toned quads. You swore leg day was every day with how perfect her legs looked but you wouldn’t argue. The day that happens, you’d hoped someone would shoot you.
You wait patiently for her to grab her barbell but when she doesn’t move, you frown.
“Do you want… me to grab it?” You point to the silver bar, on the verge of moving your feet.
Sevika shakes her head and holds her hand out to signal for you to stop. You were confused. Why did she want you here?
As Sevika situates herself in the hip thrust position on the flat bench, she grins at you as she pats one of her thighs: “You’re going to be my weight today.”
You stare at her, the heat in your cheeks heightens in temperature.
“What?” Your voice is soft, uncertain of what you heard.
Sevika, annoyingly cocky, glances down her lap, eyebrows raising at your taken-aback state.
“You heard me. Come on, baby.”
You hesitantly stride over to her, now up close and personal with your girlfriend. Your eyes carefully trailed up for her strip of stomach, the intention of her abs and v-line making your head spin.
“I-I don’t know. Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”
Sevika couldn’t help but chuckle at your words. A frown settles on your lips at her soft laughter.
You have been having a lot of weight and body image issues lately. It came and left in waves; attacking you when you least expected it. You always tried to hide it from Sevika, knowing how she would react. You were aware of the strength that Sevika held. It was obvious in her figure how much muscle she carried.
That, on most days, was enough reassurance that you weren’t too big for her. But on uncomfortable days like today, it was harder to see how she could be okay with how you look; that she truly enjoyed seeing you in this body you were trapped in.
You should’ve seen this coming as your first mistake was eating a much smaller breakfast than you usually did. Sevika had a permanently confused expression during the duration of you two eating together domestically at the dinner table.
“Everything okay, baby?” A simple question but her eyes were locked on the small portions on your plate.
You panicked as you were the worst liar in the world. Sevika knew this. She’s testing you, your mind shouted.
“No, yeah. I’m okay. Just not super hungry this morning,” you tell her as you look down at the plate, avoiding her intense gray eyes.
Sevika, everything but convinced, eyed you simply pushing around the fruit and eggs on your plate. After breakfast, Sevika became more touchy with you. It wasn’t helping as much as she thought it was.
It made you aware of the skin you were in and you wanted to burst into tears. You were relieved when she said she was going to change into her athleisure for a quick workout session.
Now, here you were just as afraid and self-conscious as before.
Sevika’s mechanical hand reaches for your waist, careful to not tug you too harshly, a more worried expression on her face.
“Angel, you won’t hurt me. Trust me.”
A lump settled in your throat. You didn’t mean to tense but you did the second she touched you. Sevika’s brows twitch at the sight but she’s patient with you. Carefully settling yourself on her lap, you place your hands on the exposed skin of her torso to steady yourself. You blush at the feeling of the muscles contracting at the touch.
Sevika assists you by holding your hips firmly. The cool metal sent shivers up your spine, staring down at her awaiting figure.
“I’m not too much, right?” You question insecurely.
“No,” she retorts, raising her brows as she begins to lower her hips so your body moves with her. “You are just right for me, baby.”
A heat trickles up your neck to your cheeks and the tip of your ears at the gentle praise Sevika is giving you. You weren’t really sure what to do in this position other than stare at your girlfriend underneath you. The sight of her abs contracting underneath your palms that were laid gently on the skin excited you in the most raunchiest way.
Was this view supposed to be so lewd? Or were you simply obsessed with her?
Both could be very true.
“See?” Sevika spoke up, snapping you out of your lust-driven stare. “This is easy. I could go all night with you on top of me. You should know this by now, my love.”
Gods, you swore your cheeks had a permanent blush burned into them from her alone. You knew she was referencing the many times you’ve blissfully rode her until you were shaking and begging for more, more, more. Sevika was more than cocky about that.
“Sev,” you shake your head, allowing yourself to take in the teasing that you knew was out of love.
The gray-eyed woman merely chuckles at your admirably shy state. No matter how many times she would praise you, kiss you, fuck you, you managed to be so timid around her. She knew the grasp she had on you but if you only could begin to understand the place in her heart she held for you.
She was more than elated to be able to constantly remind you of this. To be rid of those horrid thoughts that would make her perfect girl forget how much she means to her.
“If you could only see how beautiful you look. Not just right now, every single fucking day.”
Sevika’s hands, the cold contrasting with the warmth, lightly held you in your place as she continued to do her usual hip thrusts. There was not even a droplet of sweat on her body and you were in awe.
“You’re beautiful, too, Sev.” You try to discreetly shove the attention off of you.
It would never work in this situation.
“We’re not talking about me right now,” she shakes her head as she routinely does her hip thrusts, a soft grunt leaving her distracting lips.
“Doesn’t make it not true, though, baby,” you hum as a matter-of-factly.
The woman underneath you was an extremely expressive person. Her face said what her mouth didn’t so when you locked eyes with her after refusing the praise, you knew you were in for it.
Her gray eyes were dilated with what you could only assume was frustration. Guilt flooded your system as you opened your mouth, ready to say a thousand apologies.
“I’m so—”
Sevika cuts you off abruptly stopping her hip thrusts and a stern expression. “No. No sorries.”
“Sevika, I’m fine. You really didn’t have to do this.” You sigh and shake your head, feeling embarrassed once again that you were feeling so ridiculously insecure.
Sevika’s brows rise at your words, sniffling her nose as she shifts her hips so that you lean more on your weight on her lower abdomen. You let out a noise of surprise at the jolt and your hands now rest more on her ribcage.
She speaks gently, rubbing her both hands over your waist, and asks a simple one-word question: “Shower?”
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The atmosphere in the bathroom was… eerily erotic. Sevika had detached her mechanic arm before the shower as she didn’t want it to rust so she was slowly removing her clothing with one hand now. You were reluctant to remove your own loungewear but you knew you couldn’t shower with your clothes on.
Sevika’s thick fingers hooked on the waistband of her shorts and leisurely tugged them down her meaty thighs. You blush as her underwear tugs down a bit to reveal her strip of hair above her pubic bone.
The shower head had already turned on, allowing the cool water to pass and the hot to follow. You took your time removing your pants, letting the fabric hit the ground along with Sevika’s. Your eyes catch her own as she tugs down her underwear now. She jerked her head towards her taller frame, hoping you’d come closer to her.
The two of you carefully removed each other’s clothing as you refrained from glancing at the slightly cracked mirror above the sink. Sevika, to no surprise, kept her gentle and loving composure as she traced her fingers over your skin after every removal of clothing.
Every stretch mark, bump, dots of cellulite, marks, and clumsy bruises was touched with worship. No one had spoken a single word through the entirety of it. You both hopped in the shower once the steam began to fog up the mirror, careful not to slip on the tub or curtain.
“What happened?” Sevika hums as she reaches for the soap.
You knew what she meant, pushing a few wet strands of hair out of your face. What triggered this rotten feeling?
“I don’t know. One of those days, I guess.” You respond with a sigh.
Sevika nods in understanding, squirting some of the soap on the loofah that was hanging on the small shower caddy.
“Do you think my scars are ugly?” Sevika questions, loofah in hand.
Your neck nearly breaks as you look up from the base of the tub to meet her mesmerizing gaze. You shook your head rapidly as your eyes followed the blue scars that began at the apple of her right cheek tracing down the side of her torso to her hip bone.
“No, of course not.” You frown.
“Why is it different for you then, baby? Hmm?” She questions as she begins to scrub at your neckline.
The question made you think for a moment. Sevika was patient with you as she continued to wash your upper body.
“It’s… easier to be mean to myself than nice,” you respond carefully looking up at her as you swallow the lump in your throat.
Sevika couldn’t believe her ears. Her eyes round with affliction at your words.
“Baby.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Sevika shakes her head as she shushes you, scrubbing down your body with nothing but tenderness and consideration. You refrain from making eye contact with her, afraid you’ll burst into tears at the vulnerability.
“You always tell me that I don’t need to go through things alone. The same goes for you.”
You frown at her words, hit with the obvious hypocrisy. You couldn’t even conjure up an argument as she was right.
“It feels different,” you attempt as you watch her kneel down to scrub at your legs.
Sevika hummed a disapproving sound, glancing up at you as she stood back up on her feet. You avoid her eye line as you let the water rinse the suds of soap off of your body.
“Angel,” she sets the loofah aside, cupping your face with her hand. “You deserve to feel just as good about yourself and your body just as much as me. No matter what your mind is making you believe.”
You knew she was right. It is just so much easier to belittle yourself than to accept praise.
“I know. I’m… trying.”
Sevika leans down to kiss you gently, humming against your lips. You eagerly follow her lips reaching up to cup the sides of her neck.
“Baby, I love you,” she pulls away lightly to whisper against your lips breathily. “More than anything.”
“I love you more.” You whisper with a soft laugh, already feeling more joyful than just a few seconds ago.
Sevika beams at the clear sign of your mood changing, lifting you out of that evil lingering in your mind. You detach your lips with a soft smack to grab the loofah and start to scrub at her body just as she did yours. Sevika carefully watches you with attentive eyes.
As you scrub the thin layer of grime and sweat from her workout, trying your hardest to not get distracted by her sculpted figure. Sevika’s palm carefully moves down from your soft shoulders.
You shiver at the feeling of her thick fingers lingering down your body. You try not to make it obvious how much you wanted to shove her hand in between your legs but you inching forward into her body gave that away.
“You’re so beautiful, baby,” she praises as her fingers trace to the soft of your stomach.
You suck in a deep breath as you mutter a ‘thank you’ in response to the sweet words. Sevika leans in closer to you, your hand nearly dropping the loofah when she just barely brushes her fingers right above your cunt. Your eyes flutter as you angle your hips, looking up at her with a dazed look.
“Can you touch me please?” You whisper.
Sevika attempts to hide her glee but she smiles as she cranes her neck down to place long, loving kisses on the length of your neck. “Of course, baby. Just relax. Let yourself feel good for me, okay?”
You nod rapidly at the words as she uses her middle finger to tease through your folds. You gasp softly as Sevika carefully slides her thick finger into your warm cunt, the water from the shower head dripping down her strong forearm. It was surprisingly beautiful sightseeing her inside of you.
Your hips grind down on her finger as she slowly pumps the finger in and out of you. Goosebumps rose to your skin at the stretch of her, whimpering as she slid another finger into you. Her pointer and middle thrusts in and out of you, her lips littering every patch of skin she could access in lingering kisses.
“There you go. Just needed a reminder about how fucking beautiful you are, hmm?” Sevika breathily questions against your cheek, another sloppy kiss to your skin.
You nod at her words, a hand tightly gripping Sevika’s bicep to keep yourself grounded.
“Yeah, I did. I love the way you make me feel, baby,” you use your other hand to pull her into a soft kiss.
Sevika inhales deeply as she moves her lips against your own, greedily fucking her fingers into you. She couldn’t get enough of the addicting feeling of your walls clenching around her. You ghost your lips over hers to softly moan into her hot mouth.
You couldn’t believe how much she was reaching with just her fingers.
“Sevi, can I—” You shiver at the feeling of her curling her fingers inside of you, your moaning cutting you off. “Can I ride your thigh, please? Been thinkin’ about it since watching you workout earlier.”
The muscular woman lets out a low chuckle at the question, kissing your temple.
“How could I say no to my perfect girl?”
“You can,” you quip, muttering a curse under your breath as she picks up her pace.
Sevika smiles softly at your words, tilting her head to force eye contact with you. You flush underneath her stunning gray gaze, overwhelmed with the amount of love radiating from her eyes.
“Fuck, I love you,” she kisses you softly, heavy breathing against your lips.
You follow her lips with a soft ‘hmph’. “I love you, Sev.”
Sevika slows her fingers that were inside of you to carefully remove them. As much as you knew she had to take them out, you loathed the empty feeling.
She held her fingers up to her lips to suck off the arousal before the shower got to them.
Sevika could consume you until her last breath.
She helped adjust you so that her leg was placed in between your legs. You sigh at the pressure against your clit, the tight skin that you had been craving against your skin.
You shiver as you rut your aching clit on Sevika’s muscular thigh, hands gripping onto her broad shoulders. A low moan leaves your mouth as you try not to become too greedy with your movements. Sevika’s head buries itself into the crook of your neck, placing ever-so-soft kisses on the damp skin. The hot water was pattering and trickling down the length of her back.
She was holding you up solely by her leg strength, an encouraging palm on your waist.
“You’re so beautiful.” One kiss to the length of your neck. “My beautiful girl.” Another behind your ear.
You preen with a soft gasp as her grip tightens on you, helping you grind down on her thigh. Your hands glide up to cup underneath her jaw, silently begging to see her face. Sevika detaches her lips from your skin to press her lips to yours, humming against your mouth.
The smacking of your messy kisses and Sevika’s tongue swiping over yours and into your mouth caused your cunt to clench around nothing. Your legs were burning at this point from how much you were feverishly grinding your hips down on her.
“Baby,” you whine against her lips as you grip her face to keep her close to you.
“Yeah?” She taunts, brushing her lips hungrily on yours.
“I wanna cum. Please,” you beg.
There was a familiar tightening feeling in your gut, tilting your head back to rest against the tile as you shakily kept your movements going. Sevika stares down at you with a mix of love and lust, watching you get yourself off on her thigh.
So beautifully obscene for her.
“You can cum for me. You’re doing so good, angel.” She taunts, muttering a curse at the sight of your ruts weakening.
“Sevi, please.” You whine, becoming more and more frustrated.
Your orgasm was teasing at your lower spine as you tried to pick up the speed. The inner part of your thighs were burning now, eyes prickling with tears. Sevika places loving and long kisses all over the soft of your face.
“Okay, baby. Keep moving those perfect hips for me, okay? I’ll help grind them down so you can cum for me.”
The subtle sneaks of praise weren’t helping with your need to cum. She made you feel like the best version of yourself while learning to feel it on your own.
You mutter a breathy ‘okay’ as you keep going, nearly losing balance as you feel Sevika’s strong palm gripping your right hip. She, too, lifted her knee slightly upwards to apply more pressure to your aching clit. You moan loudly at the feeling, nodding rapidly at the pleasure.
“Fuck, you sound so pretty. My perfect girl.” Sevika lowly moans at the sight.
The water made your body glisten like a painting hung up in a museum. She shook her head in disbelief at how someone could be so many beautiful things all at once.
“So good to me, baby,” you whisper as you cup her neck.
“You deserve it. Every fucking good thing.” Sevika breathily pants as she listens for your moans pitch change.
Your hands loosen from her neck to completely wrap your arms around it, burying your face into the crook of her neck to silence your breathy and whiny moans. Sevika presses loving kisses on the side of your head as she continues to assist your hip movements.
“I’m gonna cum,” you pull away slightly to whimper in her ear.
Sevika felt a shiver run down the length of her broad back at the sound, eyes shutting to take it in. She continued to shower you with kisses along with the water that was lukewarm at this point.
“Yeah? Cum for me, baby. Cum all over my thigh for me.”
You hold onto her tightly as you whine against her slightly scarred neck, sloppily kissing the skin. Sevika moans softly at the feeling, craning her neck upward. The water from the showerhead fell over her face, dribbling past her open mouth and over your head.
You nearly slip as your orgasm rips through your lower abdomen, lathering the toned quad with your cum. You pant hotly against her skin as your hips slow down to not overstimulate your throbbing cunt.
“Sevi,” you shiver as you keep your grip around her neck.
Sevika hums as she mindfully removes her thigh from in between your quivering legs. She held you up by the waist with her arm as you both swayed underneath the borderline-cool water.
“Was that good?” She questions lovingly, waiting for you to pull away when you are ready.
You snort with a shake of your, muttering a ‘fuck you’ playfully against her skin. Sevika chuckles lowly as she feels your head tilt up to kiss her jaw.
“You know, technically, I made myself cum.” You tease, nosing underneath her jaw.
Sevika’s brows furrow at your words, looking down at you with an offended expression. You beam up at her, tilting your head to the side.
“Oh, so what was me fingering you then?” She remarks.
“Okay, you helped a little,” you continue.
Sevika, unsatisfied with your answer, leans down to bury her face into the crook of your neck to tickle at the skin with her nose. You laugh at the feeling of your girlfriend’s smile on your skin, gasping when the sudden ice-cold water runs over your bodies. Sevika curses as she releases your waist to reach for the knob to turn off the water that was prickling your skin.
The two of you hop out of the shower mere seconds after being hit with the freezing water, unable to detach yourselves from one other. After drying off and putting on some everyday clothes, Sevika and you settle into your shared bed. Your limbs tangle as you find comfort in each other’s warmth.
Every lingering thought of insecurity was suppressed for the time being. With each passing day spent with Sevika, you were bound to never have to feel that way again.
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TAG-LIST: @eilishxo @ivyfalsegod @archangeldyke-all @auraclus @lavenderbabu @thewonderlandish @elliessgfsstuff @devilsangelxxx16 @hwasddeongbyeoli @saturnknows @scp116 @iwillpokeyouwithmyknife @cicato @angelcorner @doppelman @suui3 @vaneplvblog @naomqq @lovinglynny @gravegoer @sapphicarribean @yaeil @ladycupa0-0 @cherry-n-cheeks @k4tz4 @vqmpxre @lanaismotherrrrrrr @chaostudi @lazycat-things @satansfinest9 @soodle-noup @themostlesbianever @hafisjfjsit @cucumbernimbis @maaaaaaaaaaari @amoraeu @angelynn-nicole @mall-fountain-daydream @iamaboringrattat @slingshotsniperking @thesevi0lentdelights @bilsvlt @thalchmy @chatimfinnacrashout @luizadms @peanutbutterprincess @ivana1999999-blog @strawberrykidneystone @halle5s @foreingersgod @tyra-is-so-delulu @fuzzycucumber @biblicallyaccuratemusclemommy @xoxomymyy @hearts4joongie @srtctra @hellokittyfeenie @pookiewookiebazooka @debs171110 @lesbodietcoke @hearts4caitlin (TAGS CONT. IN THE COMMENTS)
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oswildin · 3 months ago
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Mischief’s Daughter (Loki x Fem!Reader)
Summary: It’s Loki’s first time looking after your daughter alone.
Rating: All ages/SFW
A/N: Self-indulgent as hell. I’ve reached the age where the thought of Loki with a baby makes me all fuzzy and warm inside. A rare fem-specific reader from me. Pure fluff.
LOKI MASTERLIST
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“Are you sure you can handle this?”
“Am I sure?”
“Yeah-“
“Am I sure I can handle watching our child for a few hours?”
Loki raised a brow, blinking at you as you sighed, putting a hand on your hip, holding his gaze.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” You said lowly, lips quirking faintly upwards. Loki rolled his eyes slightly, casually moving to lean a hip against the kitchen counter, folding his arms over his chest.
“Darling, please, I am a God.” He smirked, that smug one he does when he allows some of his arrogance to surface. “I am very much capable of looking after our daughter whilst you go and ‘let your hair down’.” He paused, his ocean eyes flickering over your features. “Natasha is correct, you deserve to unwind a little.” He told you sincerely, knowing how hectic everything had been since the arrival of your daughter over six months ago.
“But what if something happens and I’m not here-“ You tried, brows furrowing in worry.
“I’m a God, remember?” Loki cut you off, raising a brow, shrugging. “Besides, what could possibly go wrong?”
Famous last words it seemed.
Freya had been crying for the last twenty minutes. Nothing seemed to be working. Not even a touch of illusionary magic was doing the trick. It seemed to work for the tiniest of moments, Loki letting out a breath of relief, before suddenly the wailing continued as if she was now offended by his attempt to quell her upset.
Yes, this was the first time Loki had been left alone with Freya - if you couldn’t already tell.
Children of his own was never something Loki had ever considered, but when you came along and time went on… Well, having a child seemed less like a nuisance and more like an adventure. Being on Midgard for the last five years had changed Loki. Sure, he was still very much the God of Mischief, but now, he had an air of maturity about him. Being apart of the Avengers, having somewhere he belonged… Friends… You… Of course, if you had told him this would be his situation years ago, he would’ve laughed and called you ‘absurd’. Yet, here he was.
The God of Mischief… Defeated by a baby.
“Can we not discuss this like adults?” Loki asked rhetorically, a sardonic wry edge to his voice as he bounced Freya gently in his arms, one of his large hands supporting her back. His brows were furrowed, lips parted slightly as he looked at his daughter who was insisting on wailing still. “I mean, really, I think you’re making some… excellent points-“
Another wail.
“Yes, I agree.” His hand at her back patted her lightly as he let out a deep sigh. Freya’s tiny hand found its way to his curls tucked behind his ear as she grasped it, pulling in her little rage. “Ow! No- No, we do not- There is no need for violence.” He moved towards the couch, feeling a headache begin to form. He began to feel slightly self-conscious, worried he was doing something wrong.
He’d read all the baby books possible before she was born, but it seemed even they didn’t have an answer for everything. He’d tried feeding her, rocking her, putting her down for a nap, illusions, change of nappy— Everything that could’ve been the issue. He sat on the couch, shifting Freya so she could sit on his lap, his hands still supporting her, one staying at her back whilst the other held under her small arm. He looked down at his daughter, seeing her blue eyes all glassy, cheeks red and puffy from crying. It was a sight he would’ve once found extremely… well, snotty. But with Freya, his flesh and blood, it only unsettled him, tugged at his heart.
“You certainly are your father’s daughter.” Loki mumbled to himself. “Throwing a fit of rage for reasons no one else seems to understand.” He tilted his head slightly. “Perhaps someone misses their mother, hm?” At that, Freya went silent for a moment, as if she understood. Loki raised a brow, holding his daughter’s gaze. “Oh… Is that it?” He slowly began to realise that he was likely correct. It was the first time she had been without you since she was born, and whilst people underestimated babies capabilities to understand their surroundings, he knew better.
“Well, I’m here.” Loki said lightly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “And I may even be considered more fun than mum.”
Another wail.
Loki winced at the sound, his smile dropping from his face. She didn’t like that notion it seemed. He glanced at the clock, it had only been an hour since you’d left - although it felt like several.
“Right.” Loki muttered under his breath, before getting up from the couch, once again holding Freya to his chest. “Let’s try something different, shall we?” His hand shifted to cradle the back of her head gently, once more bouncing her softly in a soothing motion. Clearing his throat quietly, he let out a breath before opening his mouth as a low, comforting melody fell from his lips.
“I stormsvarte fjell, jeg vandrer alene,
Over isbreen tar jeg meg frem,
I eplehagen står møyen den vene,
Og synger: “når kommer du hjem?”
The last note rang out softly as Freya’s cries had ebbed, giving way to a few sniffles. Loki held his breath, waiting to see if the old song had managed to quell his daughter’s cries fully. After a few seconds of no wailing, he let out a relieved breath, feeling a warmth in his chest at the fact he had managed to comfort his daughter. After a few tries, but still. That was being a parent.
“So, it seems someone prefers my singing to my show of powers.” He mused playfully, keeping his tone soft and quiet, scared if he spoke too loud he would send Freya into another episode of tears. “You take after your mother on that one.” He smiled slightly, tilting his head to meet his daughter’s eyes. “Although, sometimes I think she prefers it when I’m completely silent.” His smile widened, seeing how Freya was now giving him her full attention. “Can’t say I blame her.” He whispered teasingly, moving to grab a nearby cloth to wipe away the remnants of tears - and snot - from Freya’s adorable little face. “There. Much better. Can’t have my princess looking like her uncle now, can we? All snotty and bubbling.” He smirked, placing the dirty cloth aside as he began to move back towards the couch. “Not very becoming of her highness.”
Freya made a soft gurgle, making Loki laugh quietly, sitting back against the couch as he kept Freya in his arms, resting against his chest so he could look at her. She was the perfect blend of both of you. His eyes, with raven tuffs of hair, your nose and mouth… She truly was a marvel. “Why don’t I tell you about the time I turned your uncle into a frog?”
Letting out a breath, you entered the home you shared with Loki, kicking off your shoes as you paused, listening for any sounds. Silence. Your brows furrowed, glancing at the clock on the wall in the hallway. It was around the time Freya would wake in the night and decide it was time for everyone to be awake with her… Yet, no noise. Creeping down the hall, you approached the doorway of the lounge, peering inside. There you saw it. A sight that melted your heart. Loki had his eyes closed, Freya sleeping on his chest, his hand supporting her head whilst the other held her back. The house hadn’t burnt down, there was no mess, no illusions of frogs or god knows what running about the place… Just… peace.
You felt tears well in your eyes as you leaned against the doorframe, heart feeling like it could burst out your chest. After a few seconds, Loki slowly opened an eye, instantly finding you. His brows furrowed faintly, the glow of the lamp reflected in your glassy gaze as he opened his other eye. It took a moment, but then he recognised that look.
“You had a few glasses of wine, didn’t you?” He asked playfully, voice barely above a whisper. You sniffled, straightening.
“No…” You mumbled, tone completely giving you away.
“Hm.” Loki smirked, before carefully lifting his hand from Freya’s head to not disturb her, reaching out towards you. You immediately headed towards him, taking his offered hand as his slender fingers grasped yours. “Your teary eyes tell me otherwise.” He teased softly. “You get emotional every time you have a glass or two.”
“How can I not-“ You drawled quietly, lips pouting faintly. “-when I come back to this?” You gestured loosely towards Freya, referring to the sight that was before you of the two people you loved most in the universe. “And nothing is on fire.” Loki had to hold back a chuckle at that, his lips quirking upwards.
“See? I told you I could handle it.” Loki mused, a hint of his typical smugness entering his voice as he gazed up at you. Besides, you didn’t need to know about the first hour… In the end, it all worked out perfectly and he felt a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment because of it. “Although, she is most definitely my daughter.” He added in a wry murmur, glancing back down at the bundle of sleeping joy on his chest. Your eyes followed his, your features softening even further - if that was possible. After a moment of silence, you spoke again.
“She wailed a lot didn’t she?”
“How did you-“
“Because you also wail a lot-“
“I beg your pardon? I do not ‘wail’, I… express my frustration eloquently like an adult.”
“Uh huh.”
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