#i feel blessed to be able to make these
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id probably have more success as an elden ring/fromsoft artist but alas, my heart still belongs to the legend of zeldas most unpopular villain, oh well..
chapter 2 rough draft is approaching 70 pages, im confident i can start painting it this week :3
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#its both a blessing and a curse to be like what feels like the only one who genuinely cares/draws demise lol#like if it was at least ganondorf!! he has multiple games and is pretty easily recognized#anyway .. i wanted to get the rough draft done today but the weekend just has fewer hours than the work week#so .... if i can get it done this week i might be able to start painting#if painting works that is#so if i can make that happen at least it wasnt a FULL year since i started to work on chapter 2#haha ... jesus christ its really been that long#i feel like i could really use one of those openly asking for motivation posts but i have done that one too many times i feel like#they have a limit how many times you can use it and i think i realized that too late so now im just#man i sure feel like shit but thats no ones fault but mine so i shouldnt be bothering anyone#nhdkgjvndfkjgndfjk
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Your Marika and family art is some of my favorite stuff to see on my dash; I'm curious what your take on Maliketh is! I don't think I've seen any of your pieces feature him (:
(i have drawn Maliketh before, but it's pre-DLC so it's mostly just fluff fanart haha)
i had a pretty harsh reading on how Maliketh and Marika's relationship could be at first and tbh i still think so now. but when i think about how her betrayal to Maliketh in the end could be her trying to help Godwyn gain a second life as Lord of TWLiD (burying Godwyn right at the Erdtree root, still leaving him there even when he started spreading Deathroot around, guidance of grace waking Fia up, the Death Knights in LoS), trying to accept Death now that it's sth that could give her Godwyn back (and thus Maliketh was feeling guilty and teaming up with Radagon's GO hunters for... nothing), it opens up to more possibilities i guess? that it's not always tense and her betrayal in the end is not only out of pure grievance towards him specifically?
i could see that at one point the closed off and always on edge Marika, fresh off heartbreak and ascension, would slowly open up to Maliketh and start to rely on him more (while still aware of the sleeper agent the Two Fingers has in him or sth).
& i do think Messmer grew up with Godfrey & Maliketh in the picture, his armor plates and colour palette of black and gold mirror Maliketh after all. so they probably were a dysfunctionally normal family once.
i just need to find a way to put him in some art 😂
#rustedwoman#ask#reply#er brainrot#i srl think pre-Erdtree age family is literally a traumatized girl struggling to get used to godhood +her high school sweetheart bear hunte#that's carrying the guilt of not being able to make it in time to protect her from that horrid fate#+ the cursed kid that popped out right after her ascension who to her is the first blessing in this new life#+ the (girldad) dog bro the alien God threw at her right off the bat#and the red hair dude that drift in and out the picture now and then (that is her other half made flesh also after her ascension and she#did not know how to feel about yet)
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oh my god oh my god oh my GODDDDDD i can’t BELIEVE i found these on my little rainy october thrift shop wander this morning. like, one would have been more MORE enough. but both?? at once??? i am quite simply floating and may never touch back down to earth
#obviously given that it was second hand i don’t know if alex’s autograph is legit#but from my (untrained and overly hopeful) eye it looks very much like it could be???#anyone who’s more expert in these things feel free to weigh in!!#and the photo book#aghhhhhhhhh#i have been wanting to get my hands on a copy for AGES#there’s something so special and atmospheric about matt’s photography that i’m just obsessed with#and to be able to actually look at them in physicality all together like that is truly something else#i also love that it’s designed like a passport obviously because of the whole album concept#but also because it truly does feel like a little glimpse into their world when they were making it#god what am i meant to do with the rest of my day after this??? 😭#(put the humbug album on and look through the photo book of course. and maybe even a little fic writing if my heart rate slows enough)#god bless whoever donated these and whatever luck allowed me to find them today 💜💜💜#i was in need of a bit of a pick me up and by god did this go above and beyond#sorry for how nonsensical all of this has probably been#i’m just#i’m feeling a lot rn 😭#arctic monkeys#alex turner#lulu posts
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day 3! we’ve had a lot of fun up here but I’m kind of relieved to be heading back home tomorrow, we’re both pretty tired after all of the hiking. hopefully we can come back one day!
#I fully understand why they don’t but I wish more natl parks allowed dogs#this has been such a fun trip#but oof my stamina has halved after every day lmao even Stellina is feeling it#she started just sitting her ass down when we paused on walks instead of whining to move forward lol#boone would have hated this trip god bless <3#anyway if ur able to make the trip to Acadia I def recommend! such a cool place#stellina
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last rb had me thinking of how lame bif would actually be as a person
#as ive mentioned i dont think he has a personality if that makes sense 😭#like youd be able to tell that he TRIES hard to have some kind of identity but he kind of… fails?#like he kind of wants to be known for something beyond his money but at the same time he also still bears the hubris of his family's wealth#hes maybe like those rich kids who insist that theyre talented beyond their money but one look at him and youre like. nah lmfao#for what its worth i think he genuinely is a talented boxer which is why his other persona other than Rich Boy is Undisputed Champion#which is probably also why he takes his loss to jimmy hard#what i also find interesting is the common fandom consensus that bif likes things like hip hop and rap#which are things you dont often associate with white preppy boys (for lack of better wording)#do u think he started branching out to 'less convential' interests bc hes aware he doesnt have any identity outside of being rich#on that i feel like hed also desire to be known as someone beyond derbys lapdog…?#like i dont think hes blindly loyal to derby actually. i feel like theres potential for resent here#since derby and bif are both very prideful people#this just turned into rambling as per usual if u read all of this god bless u#bif taylor#derby harrington#(ment)#bully cce#bully scholarship edition
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well that one comic panel with baby erik activated the sleeper agent in my brain that goes feral for de-aging angst... if you had the choice between erik protecting a suddenly de-aged charles or vice versa, which would it be and how how many years are they losing?
are you trying to killme. this amya very well kil me
#snap chats#sorry 1.) i have drank 2.) i just finished watching shame and the ending hit way harder than i thought it would#maybe its because of Aforementioned Drinking but i need to lay down and throw up#this isnt a shame review tho ill put my On Topic Rambles now#both hit hard for relatively the same reason. or at least foils of a reason Does That MAke Sense i dont know i cant feel ym forehead#becaue like .. charles couldve greatly benefited from having a protector in his childhood- as did erikt oo of course#like with charles he forgave his mother for not being able to do anything against his stepfather And Thats Incredibly Valid#bless his mother she did all she could and so with this scenario im led to imagine an alternartive or someting similar idk#charles is so gentle but that doesnt always work- he needed someone to kick and scream and fight for him growing up#and so im forced to imagine if the likes of erik was there to protect him as akid#similarly with erik charles being there as a caring figure and to just be like#'hey please dont let this world squander the love in you' would be so important to him#am i making sense. i dont know if im making sense im mashing my fingers on a keyboard#its a miracle i can type coherent sentences really but thats my take on thi as of right now#i dont thinka anythin with de-aging nd whatevr tbh but i can entertain a concept at least#anyway now that ive finished watchin ima go see how much doodles i can make before i pass out#ill see youuuu all then
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💀
#i've not missed the stage of a crush that makes me feel like i might decease from it#good & beautiful & true but also evil and painful in its own way#but! at the end of the day what a triumph to be able to care about anyone at all#what a blessed and beautiful life i must lead for it to be possible at all#to be able to love is the greatest calling ain't that just so!!
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Just sent my little brother a youtube video depicting the new Until Dawn ending and now we are theorising like crazy and this is genuinely the most conversation we have had with each other in over a year.
When the original game came out, I was 12 and he was 8, and he's turning 18 next month and I haven't lived with him in over three years, and we've only spoken a handful of times since our dad died, but I so much as mention Until Dawn and now we're yapping away endlessly and this is SO IMPORTANT TO ME.
#god im having feelings#me and my brother sitting on the bed at my nans house as kids FAR too young to be playing that game#sharing the remote and playing alternate chapters#and yelling at each other for making stupid decisions#and him screaming at me when i sneeze during a dont move and kill sam#to me and my brother as teenagers in our dads new house#and me running into his bedroom after replaying the game for the millionth time while he listens to me complain about how difficult#the final sequence is#to me and my brother living in different countries#but i sent him a link to a youtube video at midnight#and within five minutes he replies in full capital letters theorising about the new epilogue with sam#and if the sequel will involve being able to go back to the mountain and save josh#AND MAKING PLANS TO SEE THE MOVIE WITH ME#until dawn you are such an important part of my life god bless#my first tumblr url way back in like 2016 was a until dawn reference wow#until dawn#until dawn remake
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“The Terminal Seconds of Moon Knight,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #30.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight vol. 9#Moon Knight 2021#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Khonshu#I always appreciate Mr. Cappuccio but I particularly appreciate how he was able to portray the complex emotion in that second to last panel#because gooooosh can’t believe I get to use this tag again#Khonshu encounter me in the trench#the man is dying and doing his best to save the city and Khonshu still manages to make it about him#because while we don’t get much in the way of Marc’s internal dialogue I feel like we can infer based on other issues in this run#that this time around Marc’s not doing this for Khonshu#there have been many times in Marc’s life where he’s sought Khonshu’s blessing or approval or notice or what have you#- I’m thinking (as much as I usually don’t like to) about the opening issues of the Huston run -#but this ain’t one of those times (it just happens to protect travelers of the night so Khonshu can claim it is all)#but yeah it’s the last panel for me#that dubious honor of having Khonshu be proud of him and the complex relationship that he and the whole system has with Khonshu#even though Khonshu has habitually tried to colonize his psyche and used him as a disposable pawn#there’s just something in Moon Knight comics pertaining to complex intra- and interpersonal relationships#with one’s own spirituality and sense of self and organized religion and fathers and distant gods#that I just cannot bring myself to shut up about (…unfortunately for the Moon Knight tumblr tag and as you may have figured#based on the metaphorical ink I’ve spilled on this blog)
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I'm about halfway to two thirds through You Feel It Just Below the Ribs, and asdjasdlkajsadjal
The reveals, the implications, I can't even - mentally I'm rolling on the floor frothing at the mouth. I want to go back and listen to season 3 and season 1 all over again, holy shiiiiit
#viv18chatter#within the wires#you feel it just below the ribs#bless my library for having such a great collection#did not expect to find a book written for an alternative history podcast in its repertoire#but have it they did! all three versions I might add - physical digital and audio#anyways point is shit is really coming out now and I am loving the fictional tea#both from the ''actual'' autobiography and the side implications of the footnotes and interludes#well in between wanting to shake the fictional authors of said footnotes and interludes lol#''edited for clarity'' edited HOW? Was the writing smudged or otherwise unclear and you made your best guess?#did you change words around that YOU thought didn't make sense?#TELL ME WHAT WAS EDITED DAMMIT#and that's not even getting into the VERY opinionated footnotes and interludes#I know it would be expensive and tricky to make#but man I would love if the authors were able to make a special edition of this book#that looked like the actual manuscript#or like ... the one that was released in-universe that was being beta'd by the publishers - so we see the handwritten pages with smudges#the faded typewriter pages#with the publishers notes etc all over it#oooh stretch goal of the internal communications while going over the manuscript would prbably be a fun aside too#sometimes I wonder if there weren't multiple people making footnotes (though only one making the interludes I think)#because sometimes they vary quite wildly in tone#that could just be situational of course#but still#interesting thoughts
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do you also think about ekky, in his first full game back after rehab, the practise held the day afterwards, when asked how easy it was to play with forsy again going "its like having your own cheat code out there" and "im blessed to be able to play with such an awesome partner" thanks man very nice
#its the witching hour and they consume my thoughts#fork found in kitchen unfortunately#but also thanks jameson for phrasing it as “is it like you never left?” and ekky jumps on that going “yep thats exactly what i wanted”#like thats not gonna fucking haunt me at all#take a swig anytime ekky describes being able to play with forsy as being “blessed”#sumn sumn body like a greek god sumn worship him like one too or other#the religious undertones in sports is impossible to ignore#but also you did describe this man as a greek god#so this really isnt helping that extended metaphor#i also think a lot about ekky saying “gus” because its not very often you hear him first name him#and also him immediately looking over to his stall... okay#i thought he was making eyecontact with the otherside of the media scrum but i watched it whole and its very obvious when he does that#no this bitch is craning his neck to look at forsys stall like a normal person ofc#in my mind forsy is off to the side waiting until his interview wraps up so he can continue dressing down#and ekky going “gus” because jameson said it first is looking over at him to see his reaction#delusional? we move#im sorry i gave an impromtu forsblad primer to a friend while we were on a call and i was pulling up all my clips to cry about#and this one fucking sent me spiraling again#gus... okay yeah#im in my feelings again please look away
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i'm crying. how are these panels so different yet so similar at the same time <//3
they evoke sm emotions in me that i just cannot put into words. it's so beautiful and gut-wrenching how both gods are calling their hafuri's names over and over again...and both hafuris finally responding to their call :')
my thoughts are all over the place man. my heart aches bc i love them sm. someone do an analysis of this plz my dumbass cant put my thoughts into words </3
seeing yukine in yato's arms and kazuma in bisha's make me want to run laps and scream fr. they make me so happy and sad :sob:
#noragami#noragami spoilers#naw the way both shinkis are afflicted by the ggs yet the both have approached it differently#manifesting yukine will be able to come to terms with his death fr#seeing the gods hug their respective shinkins make me feel all emotions at once bro. it has been so long since we've seen them tg and ahhhh#the way yato and bishamon are holding their blessed vessels... i am crying and screaming#yukine and kazuma responding to their god's call makes me melt. they're exactly where they should be :((#their gods are their safe space ok no one is allowed to argue :eyeroll:#yukine#kazuma#not me listening to my noragami playlist while making this plz <//3#yato#bishamon#noragami manga#noragami 103.2#noragami thoughts#mine
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i was already having insane sleep before The Medication so i cant tell if the insane sleep is a side effect or just a continuation of that. But i am having insaner sleep
#talkys#i cant even tell what happened with my sleep right now (i just woke up). i dreamt but it feels like i never fell asleep#but i remember falling asleep right away? and dreaming?#but it feels like it never even happened?#all my life as soon as i fall asleep i will not wake up until its time to do so. its the blessing to make up for the curse of needing over#an hour to fall asleep. but if meds are making me wake up during the night and it doesnt go back to normal then this one might not be for m#BUT ALSO ill keep seeing bc i havent been able to have a normal sleep since i got the meds. yesterday i was woken up#by an extremely loud thunderstorm at like 8 am and today i had to wake up early#so i havent had unbothered sleep....we will see#im also experiencing other stuff thats like i cant tell if its the meds or just a continuation of my regular issues LOL
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hi more drug question
I have been told many many times that using ecstasy will basically fry your seratonin receptors so that you will never be able to feel happy again unless you are using the drug. I am assuming now that this is false but I am curious now as to how false. Is it something that CAN happen if you take too much at once or too often, or is this just random Drug Scary misinformation
Also also since wellbutrin is not an SSRI does LSD work when you are on it or does it also cancel it out
lol that's kind of an extreme version of what I usually hear! you're right that basically the answer here is no. this comes from a couple different things. first is MDMA induced serotonin toxicity, and 2nd is something called "serotonin syndrome" which is a real thing that can happen, but it's really really hard to get like this. prepare for a very long answer lmfaooo
MDMA induced serotonin toxicity occurs when you take too high doses too frequently. MDMA IS slightly neurotoxic, but so are many prescription drugs so don't let that word freak you out too much! basically MDMA works by dumping large amounts of serotonin into your brain, hence why it's the happy/love drug lol. if you take too much too often, your brain will straight up run out of serotonin. obviously that's bad! it's not as simple as "never feeling happy again" but you will essentially have depression for a bit because of lack of serotonin (on its own, low serotonin levels following modest MDMA use is not damaging and resolves within a few days) but the real problem is that if you are on MDMA with depleted serotonin, your brain will continue releasing dopamine which will attach to the serotonin receptors and damage them. this is what can cause long term depression symptoms, the damaged serotonin receptors. ultimately your brain will heal this on its own unless for some reason I guess you keep taking it a lot (which would have no effect. when you take too much MDMA your brain just runs out of serotonin to dump so like. it just won't work lol)?? it can also be treated with the supplement NAC, which I would recommend taking any time you use MDMA because of this!
to sum up MDMA toxicity: it can happen but only if you're misusing it! it's generally recommended that you dont do much more than 1 dose every 3 months or so to make sure your brain has time to reset. research interactions with anything else you're using (prescription or not), take some NAC in the weeks following a dose, drink a lot of water, keep your body temperature regular because that can worsen it, and take some antioxidants like alpha lipoic acid and grape seed oil during/immediately after taking MDMA - it's when you come down that your brain is delicate and could use the protection. also this may sound counterintuitive but weed also has antioxidant properties, so smoking it as you come down helps a lot. also if you DO have MDMA toxicity taking more MDMA will not help u feel happy unfortunately it will just make it worse lol, your brain only has so much serotonin to give
now serotonin syndrome can happen with the misuse of any drug that works on serotonin including MAOIs, SSRIs, and SNRIs, usually by taking a VERY large dose (but some people are just extremely sensitive). it usually takes care of itself eventually, but the amount of time it takes and stuff is kinda hard to pin down bc it's REALLY misunderstood and tends to be overly self diagnosed. again this is like super super hard to do. you would have to take a MASSIVE dose or mix it with other serotonin affecting drugs (ESPECIALLY MAOIs. DO NOT MIX MDMA WITH MAOI ANTI DEPRESSANTS). like 5 times the normal dose at least probably (partner is currently trying to find some literature on it so he'll add that in the replies if he finds anything interesting). it will cause things like heightened anxiety and body temperature and can cause kidney problems or seizures if it's like really bad and untreated. but you'd feel REALLY bad before it got to that point, so in general like, if you take any type of drug and feel extremely bad after go to the doctor lol. mostly this will also just heal itself; your brain is pretty resilient! again usually if this does happen it's very minor. cases bad enough to require hospitalization are exceedingly rare
to give you an example of what these can look like, I have a friend who was given about 3-4 times a regular dose by a fucking piece of shit asshole she knows and, this part is crucial, it was mixed with a very large amount of alcohol AND acid (which can slightly increase the neurotoxicity. normally not a huge issue but becomes one in circumstances like this), AND coke; like she was blackout drunk and while not on a lot of acid or coke, this is just too many things to have in your body and brain at one time. the mixture of such a large amount different drugs caused her what I'm guessing was a mild case of both of these things at once. she experienced slightly worsened depression for about 6 months after, and actually had a mild stutter for almost a year. I made sure she took some NAC and other things that aid brain healing, and she didn't try molly again for a long time to be super sure she didn't overload her brain before it was ready. this is a pretty extreme case, and even with that she has fully recovered thankfully. do NOT EVER do drugs with someone you don't trust with your life. DO NOT EVER do drugs in doses you have not confirmed for yourself to be safe and DO NOT EVER mix drugs without finding out if it's safe!!! just as a small aside though: usually taking molly and acid at the same time is perfectly safe. in fact it's called a candy flip and I HIGHLY recommend it because it's fucking awesome. again, just make sure you are taking safe doses in a safe environment
OKAY now finally your specific question about Wellbutrin: I actually take Wellbutrin so I can answer this one from personal experience! Wellbutrin should not alter the effects of LSD in any way HOWEVER! both of these drugs lower your seizure threshold! I'm on the max dose of Wellbutrin (which is the max dose BECAUSE of seizure risk) so when I plan to drop acid I usually either skip my dose entirely that day or only take half depending on how much acid I'm planning to take. because of the way Wellbutrin works, this shouldn't cause you any problems as far as that goes. for me, not taking my Wellbutrin for a day mainly has the effect of making me more fatigued, and acid counteracts that really well by making me feel very awake/aware. if you don't want to skip or halve your dose though you can also take things that will RAISE your seizure threshold. so like I sometimes will smoke hemp because CBD actually will help with that. the risk here isn't huge either way especially if you have no history of seizures, but again if it's something you're concerned about you should be just fine skipping or lowering your dose for the day. acid usually lasts about 12 hours too so i personally don't even care about skipping the Wellbutrin that much because it basically does the same thing for me. I did take my full Wellbutrin dose the last couple times I've done acid though because I was taking a very small amount of acid (about half a tab)
in summation lol sort of TLDR I generally would recommend MDMA for recreational use because the risks of damage are low and it's safe if you are safe about it. and it's honestly just a really fun one! the only negative effect I've ever felt is some emotional and physical fatigue the following day, and this is largely because of how emotional and energetic you are on it. I just make sure to have the next day off to lay around and listen to music :)
taking it with a partner or loved one will give you an especially beautiful experience, as MDMA has been proven to facilitate extremely open emotional conversations. in fact, when MDMA was first synthesized it's primary use was in psychotherapy! research was shut down during the war on drugs, but in recent studies it's demonstrated amazing abilities to treat and even straight up CURE disorders like PTSD. for a personal anecdote, my partner actually completely fucking cured his alcoholism on a combo of MDMA and whippets (nitrous oxide) lmfao. like dude straight up went from getting black out drunk multiple nights a week to drinking nothing for the past year and a half without any other treatment program. LSD has been proven to have similar incredible results with treating and curing things like depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction and is also a very fun and very safe one.
sorry to reiterate for the billionth time lol but it's important: these drugs are safe and fun if you make sure they're safe and fun! do your research and never use in an unfamiliar environment with people you wouldn't trust in an emergency! also I know this sounds like a lot, but remember I'm giving you like the absolute safest possible practices and emphasizing sort of over cautiousness because I think it's always better to be too safe. I've taken molly without nac and I've taken kinda big doses a little closer together than I should have without any problems. there's a bit of flexibility to these guidelines, but it's always better to think of them as being rigid so you don't end up too far in the other direction. like I've said it's really really hard to do actual damage that would last more than like a day or 2 max. most of the time you'll just be sleepy the next day from all the dancing so it's nice to do it on a day 1 of a weekend. also it only lasts like a couple of hours lol so it's not your whole day or anything!
#sorry this took me like a fucking hour i kept having to check myself w my partner + google to make sure i wasnt talking out of my ass lmfao#im sure ill be rereading and editing it for the next hour as well#damn just spent like another half hour#hope this is thorough enough for ya ajdbsjhdkshdkshs#on a tangentially related note: ive been weaning myself off of my SNRI (venlafaxine/effexor) bc it didnt help at all#and made my nails extremely brittle ????? like so bad they were constantly breaking to the quick and making me bleed#so pretty soon ill be able to do acid and molly again. sweet blessed molly how ive missed you#cant believe i forgot to mention this but as another personal mdma anecdote: my partner and i started dating while candy flipping#hed been staying at my house for like 4 months at that point but we hadnt really talked about like. relationship definitions#and I was EXTREMELY nervous bc id never even like kissed someone fr before him#but the acid and ESPECIALLY the molly made talking about our feelings with each other really easy and safe feeling#we do it every once in a while as like a poor mans couples therapy lmfao. its much easier to be open and honest and vulnerable#while crucially taking down the defensive wall that can cause you to lash out and stuff#highly recommend 👍#wtiting a book called the couple that rolls together stays together. its about doing molly but also skateboarding#drug ed#i cant stop adding to this post im sorry
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dispatches from vicar school: the student body are in desperate need of blessed chalk but there is very little to be found so we're just trading dms to try and adequately distribute the two (2) pieces that we've found in order to scrawl 20+C+M+B+24 over every lintel in the building
#vicar school#i love being able to say 'i have the blessed chalk if anyone needs it' it makes me feel like a d&d cleric#as opposed to a real life one (less exciting)#anglicanism#epiphany#she speaks
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