#i feel bad actually
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HELLOOO I WOULD LIVE THE BODY HORROR FIC
Hi! lol I’m glad you like the idea! I can’t write a fic for it atm but here’s something to start?
Warning: Body horror involving teeth.
_*_
You wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of Charlotte crying on the baby monitor. Lucifer is already sitting up, rubbing at his eyes and ruffling the covers.
“Hon, it’s my turn.” You yawn. Everything in you begs not to get up but you power through. Fair’s fair.
You ignore the twinge of pain radiating along your jaw as you pat Lucifer’s lap and shake your head at his protests. Up and out of bed, you leave him there without a word and cross the hall to Charlotte’s room. You’ve been feeling awful as of late, and pushing it down has become harder and harder. Especially when it’s been traveling from the top of your head to your shoulders before *poof* gravitating toward your hands for no reason at all.
You don’t have time for it. There’s so much you need to attend to, specifically your own toddler, waiting to be soothed from a bad dream most likely.
She’s standing up in her crib when you reach her — already a year old and ready to get on her feet at the slightest thing of interest. Your daughter jumps up into your arms and snuggles against you.
“Mommy’s little cephalopod.” You mumble, lightly bouncing her in your arms as you cross to the rocking chair. That pain returns to your mind at a particularly harsh jolt when you sit, and you fight to suppress a groan.
Charlotte whimpers in your neck and pulls away while you’re sat stock-still, squeezing your eyes shut and grinding your teeth.
“Mommy!” She squeals, arm shooting up to your mouth and hand pressed to your face. You instinctively flinch away, just to find her tiny hand is smeared with blood. Lucifer bursts into the room in time to see your mouth fall open and blood running down your chin. Charlotte starts crying again, growing more hysterical as a glint of white falls from your lips.
Your tooth.
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Doomed yaoi this, doomed Yuri that
take some doomed siblings, that shit hits different
#no but actually I feel so bad for Ivan getting rejected by everyone cause they couldn’t handle the truth he represented#so I’m forcing them to kiss and make up in the afterlife#alien stage#sua alnst#ivan alnst#my art#tw cartoon blood
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I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#crossover#utdr#crossover comic#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#art#susie deltarune#chara#this will ignite the “chara did nothing wrong” vs “chara is a murder hobo” debate I just know it#fact is they gave up everything for their plan to succeed and asriel blew it#HOWEVER they were also forced to watch asriel die and they could do nothing about it#so what does a dead child do for who knows how many years all alone with no one else to talk to?#they rethink everthying that went wrong#guilt is a weird thing that lingers and festers in your mind#no matter how much you're actually at fault#I mean come on... they were an abused kid#all they wanted was to not hurt anymore and return the love they were given no matter the cost#but now they are CONVINCED it was their plan that kickstarted this whole mess#and it's eating at them#you can see it because they actually used contractions for once#i love subtle stuff like that#also hey#susie's feeling remorse for her whole “chara offed asriel” comment#the two are more alike than she thought and now she feels bad#out of all people she should know what it's like to be falsely accused
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Searching your eyes for the saint is an act of futility
something that's just been on my mind recently!
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl lamb#cotl fanart#my art#the Lamb is Definitely directing this at Neves but I did not feel like drawing a comic. this was more of a fun exercise#also this song is very Neves-coded. Hahah. Hm.#note: the 'carcass' line here is just slightly altered from the actual lyrics in this song#obsessed with the idea that the Lamb underneath all that is an incomprehensible mass of cosmic horror that both disgusts and delights#also tumblr nerfed the quality so bad on this pls
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FABIAN DON’T DO THAT. THAT’S SCARY.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#fantasy high junior year#illustration#this was so fun#adaine… is this kristens room?#and the immediate DREAD#YOU FEEL#love it love it#Lou plays a great spooky game.#baron from the baronies#honestly? slay from baron#they seem cool actually#let em join the bad kids I think#they’re serving looks#they have the cunty curly wig#love it#Adaine also not catching a BREAK!!!
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I thought this was so funny I am posting it here too
#i wish every player that told me “the cruiser drives like a real car!” as advice a very nice “i dont have a driving licence”#lethal company#i hate the new outdoors enemy but actually the cruiser is cool#unfortunately i feel like all of the maps are bad for it ha
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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#bpd#actually bpd#bpd vent#borderline personality disorder#living with borderline#bpd thoughts#bpd feels#aesthetic#bpd mood#mental illness#silly goofy mood#i wanna relapse so bad#bad person#i'm sad#not ok rn#im so upset#mentally fucked#borderline personality problems#actually mentally ill#borderline thoughts
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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what i think people mean when they say they "want to squish my art"
how i keep reading it
#wierdly the most common thing people actually say is they wanna eat it#tim drake#batman#dc#fanart#my art#elis posts#elis tiny collection#i kinda feel bad for putting this in the normanl batman and tim tag#buy well#cw: cruelty to tinies?????????
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New Bark Town - A town where the wind blows and tells of impending change.
#pokemon#hgss#lyra pokemon#lyra#marill#pidgey#trainersona#digital art#new bark town#heartgold#soulsilver#i feel bad tagging silver because hes being a sneaky guy in the background#ill actually draw him later dont worry
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they matched each other's freak <3
#kim seokjin#seokjin#jin#lee yikyung#bangtan#bts#run jin#seokjinedit#jinedit#jingif#dailybts#kpopedit#i need more ppl to match seokjin's freak actually!!!!#(i feel so bad tagging creators when i am literally barely here rbing others sets)#((so i'm not gonna tag anyone. let this be lost in the void and dedicate to whoever sees this <333))#fiz.gif
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Fun fact this STUPID low effort Lithuanian summer Miku got 20k likes on twitter, why????
#hatsune miku#lithuanian hatsune miku#viltės art#like I actually feel so bad#because other lithuanian mikus are soooo nice#but it was mine that went viral
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#fanart#pokemon#pokemon fanart#artists on tumblr#pokemon bw#pokemon art#pokemon black and white#pokemon n harmonia#natural harmonia gropius#n harmonia#first bad doodle imo lol#the sketching part felt good but the actual coloring part kind of kneecapped me#feels like I’m getting closer to doing my full style change though#I wanna doodle moreee
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