#i feel bad I didn’t mean it
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Realizing a mistake I made long ago is the worst I literally feel so bad but how am I supposed to apologize
#tw vent#i should’ve never said anything omfg#and the reblogs for the post have been turned off and that might’ve been on me#then there was a callout pose that didn’t say names at all but like#i now know like I was at least one of em#im so upset at myself#i know it’s not really a big deal but to me it is ok#i feel bad I didn’t mean it#Im so bad at reading the room#fml man#why can I never like pick up what’s being put down correctly
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I feel like something that should have been explored more in Arcane is that despite the dangers and pretty much horrific conditions, Zaun children seemingly grow up a lot more caring and have a larger understanding of family in comparison to Piltover children. And if such a reflection of the real world in a sense.
The kids of Zaun seemingly grow up with a lot more adult support. Ekko is easily welcomed under Benzo’s wings. Vander adopts 4 kids (two of which we learn he knew of before their parents death, two of which we can’t be sure of). Silco, despite all what happened, and his ulterior motives, shows no problem adopting Powder/Jinx. In the alternate universe it seems as though he’s still played a part in the kids lives. Jinx adopts Isha easily and Sevika cares for her as well. Hell, even Mr. War Crimes Against Humanity does well with little Viktor (until ya know, the animal abuse).
Hell, up until Vander dies (the first time) there seems to be a large understanding of if there’s an orphan or a kid in need of guidance, take them in! (And certainly don’t inform them of your plans to turn a giant pink salamander into drugs and be confused when a nine year old doesn’t understand). If a kid wants to be your apprentice, let them! For the most part, until things all went wrong in the end of act 1 of season 1, the worst parts of Zaun seem pretty typical for any city in poverty.
Match that with what we see with how Caitlyn and Jayce grow up. Caitlyn is given adult support, yes, and it’s clearly a good adult mentor, but it’s not entirely by her choice. It’s been chosen for her. She’s safe, but there’s a lack of freedom of choice. Meanwhile, when Jayce gets older, and that same accident in Act 1 happens, the family that supported him and his mom turns their backs. His own mom doesn’t support him either, because she’s afraid of what he’s talking about, but also because he’s damming them to being outcasts.
Conversely, Vander is more than willing to take the fall for what Claggor, Milo, Vi and Powder did. He’s willing to go to prison for a long time, in order for them to have a better future. Despite Vi’s best efforts, he’s not going to listen to her (she is just a kid) and he’s not letting his family go down and get hurt.
Meanwhile, a man who grew up in this mentality, where there’s a wide sense of family support from people who aren’t your biological family, is the one to go to Jayce, a stranger, and tells him he believes in him. It’s why it’s such a shock to Jayce; his own family and family friends denied him. They didn’t support him.
I think that’s what makes all the difference. Piltover and Zaun have wildly different understandings of family and forgiveness. For Piltover, it shuns and damns the lives of those who upset the balance. For Zaun, it provides safety and never ending understanding.
Just. I’m thinking.
#arcane#arcane season 1#I didn’t mean to make this a jayvik thing it just happened#is this where I admit I don’t care Cassandra died#oops she was a baddie and I feel bad for cait but go get your trauma glow up girl#go get some character development#sorry but Cassandra didn’t give a shit about Jayce until it turns out he really did have something#and when it came time she only voted for Zaun independence and wasn’t even the first or second mind you#to vote to agree#hell despite possibly knowing Viktor for 7+ years and knowing how much Jayce cares for him#and how important he was to hextech#she did not even support it until last minute and then boom#sorry to cait love you girl but your mom was giving go girl give us nothing#Cassandra kiramman hate#that’s fun tag for someone who barely had screen time#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#caitlyn kiramman#I love Caitlyn don’t think any differently I forgive her for her crimes#listen if I can ignore Viktor’s assimilation plots I can ignore her war crimes#I’m a forgiving woman#arcane thoughts
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ngl one of the most useful things i’ve internalized from doing art online is never tell people what to criticize. don’t preemptively apologize for things or point out where you think you fumbled, it’s just priming people to notice minor issues that might not actually matter and hit you where you’re sensitive and throw you off your game. don’t tell people your weak points. if it’s a genuine problem they’ll point it out
#especially not if they’re the professor grading your assignment!!!!!!!!!! feel so bad for my friend#i cant tell him it now bc it’ll come across as mean but i feel so bad :( he kept apologizing for things he didn’t need to and it made him#seem unprepared. when he actually had 95% of what he needed and apologizing made it LOOK like he didn’t#text✨#i’m making it sound very dramatic here but it’s straight up helped me so much with my anxiety#the above doesn’t apply if you’re looking for constructive criticism kr any thing#i’m very specifically talking about stuff like posting art online or giving a presentation or whatever
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Barbie and Sasha
I have to say I really appreciate the Sasha character in Barbie. I see a lot of my middle school self in her.
I too was a girl who adored Barbie as a kid, but then I got older and got a first taste of What The Real World Is Like (inequality, sexism, etc.)
And then I rejected Barbie because I internalized all the misogynistic crap that had been projected on her and she became a symbol of All Shitty Things Women Are Expected To Be (brainless, useless, only exist to be pretty assistants to men).
Hence, I fell deep into a “not like other girls” phase because I desperately didn’t want anyone to think I was one of those girls (“”brainless bimbos who have no thought in their heads but boys””). I wanted to be taken seriously, and as someone who was already a bit tomboyish, I felt like I had to reject everything Barbie represented in my eyes.
But then I got older, and a tiny bit more nuanced, and realized Barbie being bubbly and pink wasn’t the problem: The problem was the assertion that anything considered “girly” can’t be smart, or useful, or anything but an empty shell.
Barbie is far from flawless and perfectly unproblematic, but the older I get the more I realize that she wasn’t the problem: It was the flawed people and world around her that were.
Anyway, Sasha does a great job illustrating that push and pull between what Barbie used to mean when you’re an innocent kid versus what she can become when you start to grow out of childhood and get your first taste of the real world and how deeply unfair it can be, especially to girls.
Anyway, Barbie is great go see it.
#how did Greta Gerwig articulate my whole coming of age and complex relationship with feminism in less than two hours#Anyway I’m having Feelings#I didn’t mean for this to turn into a vent my bad#shut up elizabeth#barbie#barbie 2023#barbie movie
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Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke
(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies
#Honestly I’m only bothered bc I feel partially responsible (WTF EGOMANIAC OVER HERE)#I know I can’t control other people’s spending habits and my own habits are. Less than ideal !!#But when I wanted to spread my love for Wreck it Ralph I didn’t want people to get that takeaway 😔#IMPORTANT NOTE ‼️It’s okay to express your love for something through buying official things !!! That DOESN’T make you a “bad person” !!!#Still ! I think we have to let ourselves feel bothered by things and we need to be more critical of exploitative companies#Of course I chose to watch inside out 2 with my mom in theaters so I’m not immune lmao. Also using amazon / Etsy … just as a whole#But if you need help finding Disney movies without supporting them please just ask me!! PLEASE don’t use Disney+ if you can avoid it#I know we are all capable of finding our fulfillment from better places. But sometimes it’s hard#Capitalism sucks and yet that’s how we are endlessly pressured to live :(#We’re all at different points in our lives. Sometimes self care involves consumerism#Be hopeful that it someday won’t have to#Txt#again I’m sorry if this comes off as horribly egotistical to even consider being single-handedly responsible for#Social media is bad …. numbers bad…. Distorts reality and your perception of yourself…..#Or as me trying to guilt trip people in any way. Genuinely do what makes you happy but WE CAN BE HAPPIER & HEALTHIER I KNOW WE CAN#Wreck it ralph#Rant#Also sorry I have huge beef with streaming services I don’t mean to enforce that on other people but also. Sharing my opinion
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Time for another headcanon that randomly popped into my head and would not leave me alone until I posted it:
Before Omega entered the picture, all of Hunter’s protective, caring, mother hen instincts we see in Bad Batch weren’t dormant, they were just focused on Crosshair. 😂
#picturing this is genuinely hilarious to me#I mean we all saw how he acted in the clone wars arc#Hunter pre Omega: This is my baby brother ☺️#Hunter to Crosshair: Do you have snacks? are you feeling okay? was that guy bothering you?#Crosshair probably HATED it (but secretly loved it)#he probably used it to his advantage when he didn’t want to do something#Hunter asks him to clean the outside of the ship and he’s like ‘you want me the batch baby to do this all by myself?’🥺#star wars tbb#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch#tbb crosshair#tbb hunter#tbb headcanons#hunter headcanons#bad batch headcanon#crosshair is the youngest#Crosshair is the batch baby
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Something I really loved about the finale was Omega, Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair, and Echo saving each other. It wasn’t just her saving the boys or vice versa, but all of them fighting for each other and the future they wanted.
#echo didn’t need as much saving as the other three because he’s just Like That#but you know what i mean lol#it was just so special to me#i am feeling emotions and idk what to do about it#the bad batch#tbb season 3#tbb spoilers#tbb season 3 spoilers#tbb finale#the cavalry has arrived#clone force 99#tbb omega#tbb hunter#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#tbb echo
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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Ya know, Castlevania tackled the concept that life after defeating Dracula could be difficult for a Belmont with Richter feeling like he’d lost all purpose and reason to go on living if not for saving others and fighting against something—
But, do you think any of them before him felt that way too?
I mean it sounds kind of miserable, being raised your whole life to be solely relied on for one moment… and then what? How do you handle the sudden shift to ‘not being needed anymore’? Evidently, most of them didn’t have very much happen to them after the events of their games since we don’t get to know—
But, do you think any of them ever got better? Do you think anyone before Richter ever learned how to live for themselves? Did Richter?
Anyway it’s 8 PM and I’m sitting around wondering if any of the Belmonts were still happy after their happy endings (debatable if certain ones got happy endings tbh but anyway), Konami can u check on them, I’m worried—
#like do you think Trevor ever stopped going out looking for stragglers#do you think he couldn’t convince himself it was ever really over after Curse of Darkness#what do you think Christopher thought about handing the whip over to his son#do you think ever he wished he didn’t have to— do you think he hoped somehow he’d stopped it forever that last time#do you think Soleil felt the same after he had to past it on#how long do you think Simon thought about how he could’ve done it differently— do you think he thought he didn’t do well enough#do you think Simon died feeling like the family’s second failure#do you think Juste felt like his encounter didn’t count#do you think he and Maxim felt similarly about needing to be important#hmm just a lot of things to think about#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajo dracula#text post#akumajou dracula#incoherent rambling#let me tell you when I say I have headcanons about tiny intricacies of characters#I have headcanons about tiny intricacies about characters—#like here’s one: Simon puts his hands on or scratches the back of his neck as a nervous tic—#he likes the color byzantine he puts his eartails back when fighting cause they get in the way he sleeps on his face cause his back hurts—#he jokes about the bad situations he’s in he idolizes people way too easily and he takes everything people say to heart but doesn’t show it#I think he probs didn’t take beating Dracula the first time very well if Richter’s possession being inspired by his Quest means anything—#aoouggh then I take the ending of CV2 the way I do and mannnnnnnnnn—#do you think he knew people would care about and look up to him so much after that?#does anyone else think about things like this?#ah the tragedy of the Belmont family#hmmm anyway—
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*watching the shorts (before actually subscribing to them)* hey, this Mace guy is kinda cute
*watching OUAW and Icebound* hey, Andy is kinda cute
*watching EOM* hey, Derek is kinda cute
#i have realized that watching loa is a dangerous game#why are they all so attractive. this is very mean of them#/lh of course#no but seriously tho. Derek without glasses is doing something to me#and idk how to feel about it#not that he’s ugly with glasses bc he’s not#but I’m kinda bad with faces I realize. and so if someone changes something about their face I have to like.#stare at them weirdly to be like ‘oh yeah I know you’#which is why i didn’t fully recognize how attractive Derek was until I started eom yknow?#not beardless Derek tho. beardless Derek is cursed. (/lh but not really)#legends of avantris#I’ll shut up now before the grave I’m digging gets deeper
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Maddie got to touch the Kirammountains before Vi did 😔
also it autocorrected Maddie to laddie when i was writing this which is so
#arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#vi arcane#caitlyn arcane#arcane season 2#maddie nolen#bro fumbled#and by bro i mean cait#she didn’t even look remotely interested in maddie why do i feel bad 😭#i mean i always love a scottish queen#represent ✊#but i need you back the fuck up girl
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I love ghost trick is classified as “part of the ace attorney series” by capcom at this point
#I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing but idk i feel like if I didn’t know anything about the franchise I might assume it was#some kind of spin off?? which it’s not#I mean I think it’s true that if you like aa it’s very unlikely that you WOULDNT like ghost trick but… it IS still separate#ghost trick#ace attorney#shut up abe
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ANDREW GARFIELD
photographed by Liz Collins for Port Magazine.
«In our final cover story for Issue 35, Andrew Garfield opens up to Daisy Edgar-Jones about the emotional impact of his latest film, We Live In Time. Garfield wears Loro Piana AW24 throughout. Photography Liz Collins. Pre-order here: buff.ly/3yOxjgS» [Port Magazine tt]
Article here.
#andrew garfield#maaaaaaan#he is so absolutely perfect#mother of god#the dilf o meter is broken#didn’t mean to moan like that my bad#absolutely breathtaking#he's so fucking sexy#his hands pic live rent free in my mind#look at him#he looks 🔥🔥🔥#he's so fucking pretty#smoky#im crying#and I didn’t say where#i don’t know what to say anymore just i feel#photoshoot#b&w photography#port magazine#we live in time#every minute counts#like 💀💀💀#the press tour of we live in time will be explosive#almut & tobias#tobias and almut#press tour#sincericida
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okay, here’s my actual thoughtful post: I get why people are upset about the finale…I really do. but I want to mention that there’s a bigger picture to this story that’s missing if you’re zooming too close onto Izzy as a character, and I’m honestly so grateful that the show stuck to the thematic arc it introduced in season 1 because, as per usual, it’s about the themes 🤌 and this show never skimps on the symbolism!!
so here’s the thing: the primary themes are toxic masculinity (& it’s opposite, queer joy); trauma; love as a healing force for the above; and, title alert—DEATH. because it’s so much more than a cool title!
now, Izzy has always represented something metaphorical about all of these points; most directly, he’s always represented masculinity, and s2 has been an arc of toxicity deconstruction. but crucially, he’s also represented all that for Ed, who is the deuteragonist of this show. because—don’t forget—Stede and Ed are the show.
I’ve always doubted myself for feeling this after seeing how fandom saw Izzy as a third romantic figure (which like by all means have a blast in your fanfics I don’t care it’s about joy at the end of the day and pursue that as you want to), but after hearing something about djenks referring to Izzy as a father figure, it confirms a major point for me—Izzy is also in a lot of ways a parallel to Ed’s dad, and a representation of the trauma and guilt Ed felt from that formative killing. for so long, Izzy was an aggressive shadow in Ed’s life, and a tangible reminder of those daddy issues—someone telling him what to do, keeping him Blackbeard—and the beautiful thing is how that changed this season, how Izzy became a version of masculinity that could love and be beautiful and make good from the hurt, the literal poison into positivity. someone antithetical to his own paternalistic force, healing our daddy issues one drag show at a time. BUT, Izzy is still thematically representative within Ed’s arc—and by also representing the trauma that made Ed “Blackbeard,” it does make smart writing sense as to why Izzy died (NOT saying you can’t be sad about it—stick with me for a moment).
because here’s the thing—as aforementioned, this show is also about DEATH. killing is the root of everyone’s trauma, and reconciling a relationship with death is the ultimate arc Ed and Stede are both on, with the ultimate path of learning to live despite its inevitability. there’s a reason it was such a huge thing that Ed couldn’t personally kill, and then in this episode killed so many people with his bare hands in the name of love—and there’s a reason that was framed as a good thing. and there’s also Ed’s (and arguably Stede’s) active suicidality, which has been a huge force driving this season. these are characters who see death as this all-consuming thing, and they see their own deaths as the only solution. death is the traumatic force driving almost everything about their being for so long—and its reconciliation is everything for them, the greatest sign of growth. so Izzy’s death, and everyone beginning again with love—healing each other with love—is a cap to it all. it’s death as a positive force, for once. it’s death as love, not trauma. it’s death as something that will always happen, but this time not forced by your own hand. it’s a death to everything toxic, to what “Blackbeard” represented, and all the while a sort of rebirth. it’s kind of a death to…death? it’s functionally like the real physical moon replacing the giant romantic imaginary orb: it’s taking the thing that’s been artificially morphed in Stede and Ed’s heads and making it real this time, with all the bittersweet emotions that come with tangible reality.
and honestly, I’m glad that it was tragic and emotional. I didn’t think I’d be so devastated to see Izzy die, but it really did get to me, especially because of everything he said to Ricky and then to Ed. but think of it this way: Izzy and Ed might be romantically compelling because they were toxic and charged (and I hope people still enjoy everything they get from that dynamic in fan work), but imagine if the show had actually gone in that direction—where would it take us thematically? it would kill the thesis; it would be love as chaos and entertainment, but not healing. instead, this show gave us something so much more powerful: a legitimate, fully-fleshed trauma arc.
trauma hurts. Izzy’s death hurts. but that’s okay. that’s great, actually! it means the storytelling was effective—that Izzy’s arc made you feel something. and i know this won’t be every viewer’s experience, but honestly? I’m glad I can have this grieving process in such a beautifully framed light in the safe space ship of this show, because let’s be real—death, real life death, fucks you up. and let me tell you, I could’ve used this show during so many episodes of grief in my life. but here it is now, reminding us that our grief and trauma doesn’t define us—and WHAT a powerful thing for queer love, especially, to be presented as the thing that heals us all. ESPECIALLY when so much grief and death in this community is woven so deeply with the trauma of our identity.
so grieve as you need to, but don’t forget to turn the poison into positivity 💛 because that’s what the show is telling us—choose live, despite!
#djenks out here paying my therapy bill yet again#I feel like I need a million disclaimers for this post so just assume I’ve said all of them#and remember that art that hurts isn’t always a bad thing!#I didn’t think I’d have coherent thoughts yet I swear I blacked out and wrote this here we are#ofmd#ofmd season 2#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd spoilers#our flag means death#ofmd meta#tw: death#death#tw: suicide#suicide
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I've said this when Oscar replaced Daniel, when Franco replaced Logan, and when Liam replaced Daniel, and I'll say it again now that it's been officially announced that Liam has the red bull seat:
Drivers are not responsible for the shitty decisions of team principals and the actual decision makers behind the scenes. Don't like the decision? That is absolutely fine, but get mad at the people who actually made the decision. Leave the driver, who took a job, alone.
You'd swear Liam was a freaking cartoon villain right now. I'm pretty sure this who y'all are describing instead of him:
#f1#formula 1#formula one#liam lawson#am i annoyed for yuki? yes#am i going to crucify liam for doing the same thing yuki would've done if their situations were reversed? absolutely not#there's twenty seats this is a highly competitive sport that is very difficult to even get into#there's so many drivers that didn’t make it because of money issues or because of lack of open seats etc#we know some of their stories like a handful but thats primarily as a result to the adjacency to someone currently on the grid#whether it was their friend or teammate etc in the younger categories#unfortunately you have to prioritise yourself to get anywhere near a seat#as bad as i feel for yuki#i don't get why some of you are mad at liam for accepting the seat#did you want him to do that scene from mean girls where cady starts breaking up the tiara and handing it out?#its a nice sentiment but it doesn't work with an f1 seat#if you think a driver should simply step aside for your fav because you believe your fav earned it more... time to find another sport#I'm sorry but thats the cold hard truth#there was also a lot of factors that impacted this decision it wasn't a black and white we like liam more kind of deal#but i digress#not a convo for the tags#in conclusion i like yuki and do feel frustrated for him but for the love of god leave liam alone
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How do you have so many ideas about the chromatic crew??? My only thoughts about them only come to me in the shower 😭😭
Obsession.
#howlsasks#qin qin16#idk#obsession with a love for the characters research and psychology ig#I also love thinking about the role delta played in colors new life#color would’ve never survived without him#or the rest of his friends outside of killer.#and his friends & the souls r very likely the reason color survived not only everything with nightmare & killer#but survived the overwhelming grief and pain of losing his best friend and having to start over#the pain of feeling unimportant and forgettable again#bro would’ve definitely considered offing himself if he didn’t have the souls & his friends#in moments of deep despair and grief#he feels emotions intensely afterall#everything is good#everything is bad#everything is meaningless#he needs trusted people to ground him and remind him of how much actually enjoys living#dying means no flowers no sun no bees#dying means no memories or new experiences or new food#no new friends no delta no epic no abyss no beats and kin and killer#no cross#utmv#sans au#sans aus#chromatic crew#cw sui mention#color sans#killer sans#color spectrum duo#emberheart duo
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