#i fear this is an endless cycle
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nomazee · 1 year ago
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every time i sit down and try to write an atsushi or akutagawa x reader i get the biggest mental block because i’m too much of an sskk believer to write them as anything else
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glossykris · 10 months ago
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minute by minute (just like Skam taught us)
we can get through this
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hopeworth · 1 year ago
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kishimoto might have been a mostly bad writer but he kinda went off with Breaking The Cycle as an overarching theme of the whole series
#naruto#the cycle of war and revenge that the shinobi world is trapped in from the small conflicts like chiyo’s instant hatred of kakashi for his#dad killing her kid to nagato’s whole character arc about war hurting him so and leading him to greater acts of violence#the tsuchikage and the old kages being cold military leaders at the beginning and then learning to set aside decades old grudges to look to#the future instead.#SASUKE��S WHOLE CHARACTER. GOD. need i say more.#yes i will. sasuke beginning his character arc as an avenger who will continue the cycle of violence by killing his brother. and then#turning his hatred on danzo and konoha once he sees his brother as a victim. he is naruto’s direct foil as naruto forgives everyone who’s#ever hurt him because he so desperately wants to end the cycle of hatred borne from war (JIRAIYA’S DREAM. DONT LOOK AT ME)#don’t even get me fucking STARTED on indra and asura and the uchihas and the senju and madara and hashirama.#two brothers who fought and their descendents and incarnations are fated to be locked in conflict. an endless cycle of war and violence#between yin and yang sun and moon. and because kishimoto went OFF with VOTE2 symbolism:#hashirama and madara coming so close to ending that cycle but in the end they fought to the death and their statues are built across the#waterfall from each other (the way they had been across the river from each other as kids) doing the hand sign for the beginning of kumite#and sasuke and naruto starting VOTE2 across from each other the way hashirama and madara were and ending the fight in the middle of the#river on top of the broken off hands of the statues performing the seal of reconciliation at the end of a kumite signalling the end of the#cycle of fate they were trapped in.#SOMETHIGN SOMETHING WE ARE TRAPPED IN MEANINGS THAT CIRCULATE LIKE BLOOD FR…………#ALSO the bijuu and humans being trapped in the cycle of hate and fear of each other. yeah. kishimoto really went off with The Themes here#nart.txt
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finderseeker · 2 months ago
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Every so often my mind cycles back to the beginning of the Double Dingsaster AU and the trauma I put Windy through (like he doesn’t have enough) and I just. Think about him.
#there are things I’ve mentally changed about that AU#things that are a bit different from that written-out bit from way back when#but. that gets the idea across I guess#asteri and her violent tendencies that come out when she’s afraid#the fear to hatred pipeline and trying so hard to stay angry because anger is a shield that protects you#‘if you’re always on guard you can’t be hurt’ ‘if you strike first they won’t get the chance’ —#only to realize she’s the one doing the hurting. she’s the one perpetuating the cycle; the one who refuses to leave it#she was becoming the kind of person that she so was afraid of.#I do enjoy pulling apart the idea of running from guilt in search of justification. Great stuff.#‘not a bad person but did bad things’ is such a tasty trope#and then from windy’s side… here’s this version of one of his best friends- and she hurt him.#what do you do when you know someone is only acting in fear? when does patience become resignation? when does kindness turn to submission?#what do you do when the only person you have is so afraid that it hurts you? what boundaries will you sacrifice to gain their trust?#AUGH.#and: how much are you willing to forgive once they realize the harm they’ve done? are you even the same people?#what does endless weeks of being the strong one do to you when you’ve been trying not to give into grief every day?#seeker talks#double dingsaster au#LOOK I’M NOT WELL#windy#asteri#i should rewrite those scenes properly instead of the frantic ‘gotta get this out of my head’ scrawling that the old post was
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tamagotchikgs · 3 months ago
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i get too in my head about how much a problem i am that i become a bigger one
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mercymaker · 9 months ago
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i just want to sleep and rest and not have all this tummy pain
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koheletgirl · 1 year ago
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i maintain that there's no need to talk about ways in which israel is evil to its jewish citizens in order to talk about palestine. like it has nothing to do with it it's literally not what this is about. and i maintain that the ways in which people insist on doing this sometimes border on antisemitism. all that being said you don't know the half of it
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blueish-bird · 2 years ago
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sometimes I think about how in Chainsaw Man humans will stay dead and devils will cycle between hell and earth for all eternity
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allbeendonebefore · 1 year ago
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sometimes i think im going on an art spiral into oblivion and self deprecating irrelevance but then i remember pencil crayons exist and i could use them RIGHT NOW
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archduke-enver-gortash · 11 months ago
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*ashamedly adds fear garden to the gort/zeke playlist*
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meat-pvppet · 1 year ago
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The warmth of being loved, the pain of being known
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amphibifish · 1 year ago
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i love my friends so so much but all the time i worry they do not love me as much back
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hydrachea · 2 years ago
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You seem to be very confident, at least online, the way you dont give a shit about antis and are honest about what you like. You are probably quite chill irl. You have great taste in fictional people but there might be not a lot of interest in real people at all. You make people online (and hopefuly offline too)very happy with your honest way and it seems a lot of people enjoy your rambings in the tags. You have great taste in kinks (fuck yeah, eggs!!!). All in all i think you are pretty cool!
Anonymously message me what vibes I give off and why you think that
Honestly, I'm hoping I can get more people to stop caring about antis. They used to make my online experience hell and the fewer people can experience that, the better.
I'm honored you have such a high opinion of me, anon! And let's hear it for EGGS (which are such My Thing I got socks with an egg pattern on them as a christmas gift from a friend once).
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116t98 · 11 months ago
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clochanam · 4 days ago
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❓+ What is Aisling like when she is well and truly angry to the point she cannot hide it anymore?
send in some questions for aisling (or myself!) to answer honestly! (ACCEPTING!)
okay so i wanna preface this by saying that aisling is always very careful to hide it through other emotions or actions, but u know this. what i'm really aiming at here is that aisling grew up in a house of volatile adults who seldom used healthy outlets for their emotions, and with their goals and risks, they didn't really have normal emotional states. it's important to say this because aisling grew up on egg shells and she refuses to let her children face that too.
so the first thing aisling would do if she really wasn't able to hide it, would be to leave the apartment. she wouldn't show any rage in front of her kids or the squad, under any circumstances (although exceptions are made for wyll, anthony, kate, the OG OC Squad, it's the younger ones like Edwina who aisling wouldn't be comfortable with being mad in front of) so she'd get herself as far away as possible from the diner.
this is usually a very dangerous time. for the next six hours, usually twelve bc she is NOT letting her children see her angry, she's dealing with isolation, anger that moves to fear or stress, like generally very normal emotions but aisling has to consider that she might cause huge damage if she's under any kind of emotional duress and the soul stone hooks into that. so she's got that pressure, the fear of losing everything she's fought so hard for, the feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. she could reach out to the company to make a deal, she could go back to ireland and inadvertently release moira, anything could happen.
it's like. like angry aisling as a default is silent, simmering, deadly. but aisling being so angry that she isolates herself from the world? that's a different combination entirely. the anger fades fast. she cools down in the sweat she boiled up in. but the anger is always a secondary emotion, so she's still left with the other primary emotions, and now that she's tried to solve the anger, those other feelings are amplified tenfold because there's nobody there to keep her from acting in a less logical frame of mind.
i think aisling is deep down very afraid of anger, and it's likely because ajay taught her to be. anger was bad because anger would cause the soul stone to become volatile. but as a result, she has no way to really confront the anger when it rises. and when i say aisling can get angry, it's mainly the kind of anger that can be hidden or tamed or channelled productively. it's not a rash and wild thing, it's more like a catalyst that gives her the push to use strategies that she may have hesitated to use before.
idk if i can find it but i wrote smth for @raisedcold once where aisling found out leo died and she just tracked down the guy responsible for a week. and that's the kind of anger that i'm saying she's often exposed to. but that's not the anger that would push her away from her loved ones, yk? the isolating anger is smth that canonically caused her to rip apart the universe and throw her mother to a void between dimensions. and that's another part of why she fears this kind of like. FURY. because what the hell will she do if she faces that again? and the soul stone contains so many souls, like it's almost as if they fuel the rage too.
basically, she's alone, she's beyond communication, she has no idea what to do with the anger when it hits that point, so walking away is safest for everyone. logic won't fit into it. sense and intelligence have no place in it. aisling went from only being able to take out a few lone targets when instructed to, to killing over a dozen mercenaries and tearing apart the fabric of the universe to stop moira, all because she was so enraged at losing eoin and the life they were building together. she caused the power grid across the entire nation to go down for three weeks and has no idea how she did any of it to this day. it's like this big cloud consumed all her rational thoughts and her recollection of the details of those days.
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sweet-as-an-angel · 1 year ago
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MW2 Reaction To You Being Their Controversially Young Girlfriend
Warnings: Implied Smut, Legal Age Gap, Age Gap Relationships, Daddy Kink, Older Man/Younger Woman, Older Woman/Younger Woman, Possessive MW2, Degradation, Mention of Corruption, Mentions of Innocence, Mentions of Naivety, Praise Kink (M Giving), Implied Choking Kink, Angry Sex, Groping, Brat Taming, Man Handling/Woman Handling, Dumbification Kink, Gentle MW2, Rough MW2, Self-Consciousness, Mentions of Blood/Injury, Insecurity, Profanity, Pet Names, Fem Pronouns Used For Reader.
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Ghost
Pretends he doesn’t care about the age gap, but he secretly does.
You’d never know it, but he worries that he’s roping you into a relationship – a long-term one at that – when you should be out, meeting guys, gaining life experience.
He also fears that, in some way, he’s corrupting you, that his selfish desire to keep you close to him will lead to you being targeted or you eventually resenting him.
It doesn’t matter how many times you tell him otherwise, he’s still going to worry about you.
There are a few ways you can put his mind at ease, though. Namely of the bedroom variety.
More on this later 👀.
He spoils you silly, absolutely rotten. Anything that catches that pretty little eye of yours and he’s already got it gift wrapped. He feels it’s the least he can do after you’ve shown  him that life isn’t just an endless cycle of suffering – an infinitum of anguish – that he does deserve happiness and a chance at love.
Very gentle during sex. Unless you ask him not to be.
Expect a lot of praise in bed.
Many a night have you found yourself pinned under Simon, his mouth to your ear as he pants, moaning, telling you how you’re “Such a good girl, taking me so well,” while he fills you with long, languid strokes.
Other times, he’s not so gentle.
Oftentimes, usually as a result of purposefully making Ghost jealous, have you been pinned against a hard surface – one of convenience rather than comfort – with Simon at your back, the tent in his pants catching you.
His voice is deep, husking and carnal as he reminds you who you belong to.
“Like having your pretty little cunt ravaged by an older man, don’t you, Love.”
He’s very protective of you.
He sometimes construes your young age as innocence, naivete. Hence, he never lets you out of his sight when you’re out together.
Scary dog privileges.
Absolutely feral, down bad for you: you only have to do or say the most minimal of things to make him melt, to become a slave to his adoration for you.
That being said, he’s paranoid that one day you’ll see him as he views himself and leave him for someone better – someone you deserve. Someone younger.
He’s damaged goods, you still have your whole life to live. And yet you stay with him, promise him that he’s the only man you’ll ever love.
As stated earlier, Simon can be persuaded of your dedication to him via special, particular means.
However, if you play into his insecurities, even to get a rise out of him, he’ll pounce on you, grab your wrists and pin you to a wall, gripping your jaw and forcing you to look at him.
And, beneath dark lashes and darker eyes, he makes a promise to you.
“Oh, you think a younger lover can pleasure you like I can?” he says, his head tilting. “Don’t you worry, Darling. I’ll fuck that idea outta that pretty little head of yours until the only thing rattling around in there is me.”
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König
Somewhat insecure in your relationship. Especially when he gets disapproving glances and glares from passers-by when they note the very obvious age difference between the two of you.
But, his love for you can overcome any measure of anguish, social or otherwise.
He’s the gentlest giant you could ever hope to meet, both in and out of bed.
When he feels like it.
He treats you like you’re innocent and pure, shielding your eyes from graphic scenes on TV and gruesome stories in the newspaper.
Sometimes he has to remind himself that you’re a fully-grown woman, even if you are younger than him.
You send him absolutely feral whenever you wear his clothes btw.
Seeing as any one of his shirts could be your nightdress, he calls you his “Minnie Maus”, and treats you as such.
Pls sit on his lap, he’ll only be able to die happy once you do.
He fears judgement from others whenever you enact PDA, so to make up for his lack of willing to be physical with you in public, there isn’t a moment where you’re without him at home.
Extended periods of time in your presence tend to send him a bit…funny.
A little bit silly.
And by silly, I mean there’s a single thread of humanity keeping him from tearing your clothes off at any given second.
Especially if he’s seen a younger guy looking at you earlier in the day.
One of the few times he’ll get physical with you in public is whenever he catches someone looking at you with a glaze over their eyes he knows all too well.
He approaches you from behind, slipping a pythonic arm about your waist and pulling you into him.
Only now does your admirer look away, leave the premises entirely, once they catch sight of König’s gargantuan proportions and the rabid look in his eye.
Once you get home, he’s on you before you can even shut the door.
It’s times like these that König doesn’t feel insecure about the age gap between you.
Because he knows, no matter how little you’re willing to admit it, that nobody will ever be able to make you scream and cry and tremble like he can.
“Did you like that boy’s attention earlier, Maus?” he says, his eyes cattish and voice serpentine. He bears down on you, his hand about your throat as the other travels under your skirt.
“Is my love not enough? Are my affections wasted on you?”
His eyes glint in the dim light of the bedroom. His teeth look sharper – primal – in the low glow of the bedside lamp.
“No matter. I’ll make you remember how much you need me,” he presses into you. The bulge between his legs feels far too big for you to take.
“Inch by bloody inch.”
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Valeria
You’re her little Angel, her Goddess, the light of her life and her reason for living.
That does not exempt you from her teasing, however.
Sexual or otherwise.
She’s particularly fond of randomly grabbing your backside when she’s walking past, or smacking it so hard that you yelp and she’s grinning from ear to ear.
Even if you use your puppy-dog eyes on her, disobedience is not accepted under her roof.
In fact, trying to wriggle out of any punishment she has planned is enough to make her grab you and pin you to a wall, her grip unrelenting as she sucks and bites your neck, leaving harsh red marks and a sense of helplessness as she does what she pleases with you.
“Don’t go fucking around behind my back again, Chiquita,” she tells you, her nose touching yours and her eyes black. She brings her knee between your legs, pressing into you.
“Or next time I won’t just stop at your throat.”
She loves dressing you up in the finest clothing money (and a ghastly reputation) can buy.
She thrives on having you hanging off her arm like a dog on a leash; she gets to show you off to her subordinates and business partners who know they’ll never even have the thought of having a chance with you entertained.
Valeria’s mood can fluctuate in bed.
Sometimes, she treats you like a common whore she found on the street, fucking every ounce of rage, hate and venom into you until some part of you’s left bleeding as Valeria’s panting on top of you, her lips to your cheeks as she kisses your tears away with a whiplash-inducing gentleness she seemed incapable of minutes ago.
Most of the time, she’s loving and kind, putting your needs above her own.
Sure, she still teases you, makes you work for her love and dedication, but you know she’d do anything for you.
You can tell in her tone as she tells you of how she would “Scorch the earth if only to find a fragment of you in the wreckage.”
You disappearing or being taken from her is her biggest fear, and at night she holds you tightly against her chest, your buffer against the world she would sooner see in flames than relinquish you to.
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Price
He’s so father-coded fr.
He calls you his little girl, his Princess, Love, Darling, Dollie — anything that highlights your fragile nature.
Shows you off to his friends just so he can show them what they’re missing. He adores the feeling of you curling further into him under the eyes of his task force, the look in their eyes relating something savage, primal, as they look at your bare thighs – the pinnacle of which shadowed by John’s shirt – and watch something they can never have, never touch.
John hides his insecurity well, but he does secretly worry about the age gap.
Especially when he watches younger men looking at you in ways he does.
The difference being that, while they offered you the world and would give you nothing, you are John’s world.
When you can tell John’s feeling worried, comforting him is a surprisingly easy task.
A kiss to the temple and the promise that he’s the only man for you is usually enough to put his mind at ease and make his face break out into a smile.
On the rare occasion it isn’t, however, alternative methods are at your disposal.
E.g. screaming John’s name into the night as your nails drag down the expanse of his back, bodies scorching as he brings you to tears with his touch and his unrelenting pace.
He will absolutely hold his rank/age over you when he’s like this, no longer a point of contention or shame for him as he tells you he’s the “Only one who can make you whimper like a fuckin’ dog,”
“Such a good girl for me, my good little cocksleeve,” he rasps in your ear as he bounces you on top of him, his hands about your waist, preventing you from fleeing or falling off.
“God, you’re so beautiful — so— fuck— gorgeous.” He’s panting, gasping, growling.
“And all mine.”
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Horangi
You’re the only thing that matters to him.
At this point, he only remains as a military contractor to ensure that he can keep you in the style to which you are accustomed.
Calls you 자기야 (Jagiya – Honey, Darling).
His favourite thing to do is sit you between his legs and wrap around you like armour.
In case you couldn’t tell, he’s highly protective of you.
You can make him do absolutely anything — he’s at your beck and call.
You can get him to buy you anything if you give him what he likes to call ‘kitten eyes’ eyes.
Even if you’re being a brat, he remains calm and treats you like his little angel, his sweetpea.
Unless you push him too far.
At which point, he won’t hesitate to tame you if you try your luck.
He’ll have you bent over his lap, holding you down with his forearm as he turns your thighs and backside red-raw with the slap of his belt.
“Don’t start crying now, 자기 — you brought this on yourself.”
He never fails in the aftercare department, though.
Always filling your head with words of affirmation as he bathes you, carrying you to bed and tending to your skin with soothing creams and soft touches.
Hong-jin goes super feral crazy when you call him 오빠.
A common honorific used towards any man older than the person using it.
Even if you don’t understand the implications of it, Hong-jin does. And yes, it does tend to make him a bit silly.
Silly enough to know that he’s not going to last long and needs to get home ASAP to deal with…something.
Which he also makes your problem, pressing messy, desperate kisses to your lips as he tries to get his shirt off, your hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat skyrocketing.
“I need you, (Y/N),” he says, breathless, almost growling. Yet, his eyes are wide, pleading. A doe-eyed prince with the aura of a wolf king. “And I’ll have every inch of you.”
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Alejandro
Pre-established passionate lover.
One who is fiercely protective over you.
If anyone — and I mean anyone — catcalls you, makes passes at you, or even looks at you in the wrong way, Alejandro makes sure to enact righteous fury upon them.
He’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re 110% satisfied, regardless of context.
You want a new wardrobe ? It’s done. A new car ? All yours. You need Alejandro now and it can’t wait ? Why, how can he say no when you whine like that, when you tug at his sleeve and tuck your head against his shoulder.
He calls you “mi Princesa” and makes sure everybody knows you’re his and he’s yours.
A thorough lover is how you might describe him.
Especially after he’s so willing to bend you against the nearest surface to get you off, no matter the time of day.
You can bring him to his knees with just a look. Turn him from the most respected soldier in his department into a feral wolf.
Which, if you play your cards right, can end very well for both of you.
Alejandro likes to play a game whenever you’re riding him.
He grabs you by your hips and anchors you on top of him.
“Let’s see how long you can hold on for, mi Corazón,” he says, flashing you a sultry smile before he’s bucking into you at the pace of a mechanical rodeo horse at full speed.
“Holding on” can mean anything from not being pounded off Ale’s hips to staving off your orgasm for as long as you can.
Failure to do either is when you see Alejandro at his most wicked. When he’s all teeth, a shark’s grin, his eyes dark and his voice low as he tells you that he needs to “Train your endurance. How else are you going to take me again, hm?”
Needless to say, you’ll be lucky to be able to get out of bed the next day.
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Rodolfo
His heart beats only for you. And as a result, he treats you like royalty.
As he should.
You want it ? You got it. 
In abundance.
You have the best of everything and Rudy loves nothing more than seeing your face light up when you receive one of his many gifts.
That, and having you sat on his lap, raking your fingers through his hair as he tells you about his day.
He omits the more gruesome details, fearing he’ll taint you with the blood on his hands if he doesn’t.
Speaking of lap-sitting, it’s your one-way ticket to an eventful afternoon with Rudy.
Cockwarming is his go-to, your legs wrapped about his waist as he fills out reams of paperwork, pressing kisses to your shoulder and telling you “What a good girl you’re being, mi amor,”
Be prepared for a tidal wave of praise for doing the bare minimum.
It doesn’t matter if Rudy’s topping or bottoming, he’s going to let you know how you’re making him feel, how nobody will ever ensnare him like you do.
“I love you,” he rasps, eyes half-lidded and skin glistening with sweat as you take him.
“I love you, I love you so much–” He growls, back arching into you as you catch a sensitive area. His chest is heaving and his eyes are dark.
“I’ll never let anyone else have you.”
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Graves
This guy was made to have a controversially young girlfriend.
Calls you “Babydoll”, “Babygirl”, “Little Lady”, etc.
He unironically refers to himself as “Daddy”.
E.g. “You were eyein’n up that necklace for a while, Darlin’…” His hand slips to the crotch of his jeans, rocking his bulge into his palm.
“Maybe if you ask Daddy real nicely, he’ll get it for you.”
He’s actually very caring. He’d buy you the world if it meant seeing you smile.
He never expects anything from you in return.
He just can’t pass up the opportunity to have you in his arms, to touch you.
Graves can tend to go overboard with the gifts, though.
Calls you “young thing” when he’s feeling humourous.
On the flip-side, he can (and will) use your age gap against you. Like Price, but more Southern.
He’ll be very condescending when he’s mad, tending to use terms that undermine how intelligent and capable you really are.
“If you’d just listened to me and gotten it through your tiny head that I’m doing what’s best for you, we wouldn’t be in this situation!”
On the flip-flip-side, he uses your age gap as a jumping-off point into…dubious activities.
#1 dumbification kink enjoyer.
He’s a switch with top lean, what can I say.
“Can’t do anything without me, can you, Sweetheart.” It’s not a question. His eyes are too serious, too stern, for it to be. He’s  pounding into you, hands either side of your head, caging you beneath him.
Between his panting, he presses a wet, uncoordinated kiss to your lips.
“I’ll make sure you can’t even think without me by the time I’m done with you.”
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