glossykris

[glossykris]

genuinely curious how avpd treatment works bc the whole thing is being avoidant of people which means not reaching out...i already ditched therapy and even signing up was hard so like now what? this is just my life ?

[glossykris]

the interesting thing about avpd is you look mostly normal to others because youre desperately avoiding any triggers so you dont usually have freak outs

instead you look aloof and rude and not worth peoples time because you dont give back. like idk, i talk to people and listen because i care about friends. but so much of what i say is filtered through fear and lost. and im dissasociative and autistic so how im percieved and why people leave or give up on us is completely unknown to me.

like im constantly grasping at connections and reality but they slip away and im left wondering why i cant be loved or kept around

idk, im sorry i miss birthdays and never show affection its not because i dont care its because im extremely mentally ill. i liked being friends with you

[glossykris]

Holy shit I can’t make friends

I actually can’t

What the fuck

I’m so lonely but I hate people

They scare me and irritate me and I want to be left alone because it’s better that way

But I’m so damn lonely and I need friends

WHAT DO I DO

[glossykris]

Having your main anxiety response be Avoidance is crazy cause you'll think you're chillin and then one day you're like waitttt I've been paralyzed with fear this whole time. Damn

[glossykris]

i wasn’t meant to compete against anyone but my brain sure likes to make everything into a competition

[glossykris]

waaaaaaaah

[glossykris]

he says that and then leaves Damon on read

[glossykris]

then joker out concert with all of you wearing crop tops WHEN krisko 🫵🫵🫵🫵

[glossykris]

they call them bandmates bc they r in a band and they mate

[glossykris]

HAPPY BI VISIBILITY DAY TO EVERY SINGLE BISEXUAL OUT THERE 💖💜💙

[glossykris]

my dreams have been really disturbing lately. people around me getting sick and having to walk barefoot in their oddly stretchy vomit, everything looking wrong like it was made by AI, body horror, filth, animal neglect, humiliation….

[glossykris]

WE GOT BLUZA SNIPPET!!!!!!

🎵Joker Out Openstage

[glossykris]

thing i drew for the jo/kä gift exchange in may but never posted :,)

ref from HERE

[glossykris]

krisgusti and urban_koritnik [x / x]

[glossykris]

back to the future

[glossykris]

him.

[glossykris]

this just came up on my instagram and with this context from today I'm laughing so hard aksjskshsj: