#i fainted twice in a row lol

[gay-impressionist]

guess who is at the hospital ✌️

[novelcain]

OKAY! So when I was about 10/13 years old my mom took me to get a check up.. perfectly normal right? What could possibly go wrong.. oh yeah I was also there to get my shots.. I hate getting shots, always have always will.. it’s the syringe needles!! the fact that I know they have to be hollow enough for stuff to go in and out of the inside of those things is just wrong to me.. 😟 Anyway me and my Mom get there and everything SEEMS to be alright.. until the doctor comes back and says I have to get EVERY! SINGLE! SHOT! SINCE BIRTH!! OVER AGAIN!!!

Ya wanna know why??? BECAUSE THEY LOST ALL MY MEDICAL RECORDS!! ALL OF THEM!! 😡

Like okay yeah, shit happens I guess..

But.. my colorful, sugary sour Overlord.. They didn’t lose literally ALL my medical records once.. NOT twice!! NO no no no… BUT THREE FUCKING TIMES!!! In.. a.. row.. 😑 And all in the same Year.. I shit you not. 😤

Sssoooo yeah, I’m a bit traumatized and HATE going to the Doctor.. 😰

SO! 2020!! Covid shows up and I have to get a vaccine shot.. my Mom bless her heart comes with me, and I have to fill out the form… I spent an embarrassingly long time trying to write down my date of birth..

I was shaking so bad and ended up handing the paper & pen over to my Mom… Because I couldn’t remember which way the number 3 faced.. I was having a freaking mini panic attack.. at 21 🥲

I also had a panic attack & nearly fainted when I had to get my molars removed and the nurse showed up with the iv bag.. and I finally realized I was getting the syringe not the gas.. hadn’t panicked the whole time till that poor lady strolled in.. I think I scared her a lil when I started hyperventilating and asking my mom, wh-what what? What??? But it turned out okay!! That incident happened when I was about 18 I think..

🎃~

BRUH i know what you mean with the hating needles thing! I have had nothing but bad experiences with them. Like when I was younger I'd have to get allergy shots every week so I already HATED shots bc of that but then one day this super old bitch gave me my shot and literally stuck me so hard that the needle scraped my fucking bone! My bicep hurt for a whole month I couldn't do anything!

And then this one time I was in middle school and I had to get my blood drawn for testing, and some info about me I have always had very thick skin, and the nurse tried to use a butterfly needle but when she tried putting it in the damn thing broke against my skin! Anyways, everyone panicked for a hot sec and now it's in my file somewhere that they have to use big needles on me now! LIKE THE FUCK!?!?🤬🤬🤬

Ugh! If I sat here and told you all my needle stories we'd be here all day.

But my gods, how they gonna lose your damn records THREE FUCKIN TIMES!!!??? It's called a fuckin computer system you numb skulls! If it's really that hard to input the data yourselves then ffs just scan a pic of the records and save that!

Me: On behalf of my fruity heh subject, Skittle's gonna sue! *sprinkes dark matter on them bitches*

But fr tho same with the covid thing. In order to get my second vaccine I had to be drugged before going, and I STILL had a panic attack the whole time, not cause of my fear of needles tho. I mean it was a little bit because of the needles but mainly because of the agoraphobia. I think that was really the first instance of me being unable to function alone in public. I had to have Ritz and her mom there to talk for me and fill out the paper work cause I couldn't. I was shaking, I couldn't communicate outside of nodding to Ritz, and I couldn't even look at anyone other than Ritz. There were a few times I almost passed out inside of the clinic waiting room. I'm pretty sure now that I think about it that that was the last time I was out in public at all and that was almost 2 years ago. Definitely was NOT a good motivator to make me do it again lol. Sorry this is low key embarrassing for me to talk about and I honestly spent 30 minutes just deleting this and rewriting it over and over again before deciding to keep it

[troglobite]

lol i love spending a lot of time and energy looking up the meta abt what the best tera raid pokemon are & then training/preparing that exact pokemon on purpose, then choosing to go w the one listed as The Best when i’m up against a pokemon that has a like deadly super effective move against my tinkaton, esp when she’s terastallized--

only for it to perform like significantly worse than my tinkaton who at least was decently close to winning--before getting fainted twice in a row by the same fucking move. 

like fuck y’all, i hypertrained, i leveled up to 100, i battled w it repeatedly for like two days to train it manually, i gave it the correct item to hold, i gave it the correct moveset, i bothered changing its nature like. fuck off, man. 

weakass piece of shit. it’s supposed to be optimized to one-shot this thing and it did less than half the damage my tinkaton did w one play rough and a few swords dances. like jfc. &then the move it’s supposed to one-shot w (and most absolutely didn’t) also lowers its fucking special defense and defense so it fucking dies immediately. like what the actual fuck. am i an idiot or what? lol

ETA

lol i just leveled up my skeledirge chamaco to 100 and he doesn’t even have any stat-boosting-specific moves (just gets a sp. atk bonus on half of his moves, and lowers sp. def of target w his moves) and i was able to defeat this thing in one attempt. 

anyway so i’ll just be using my tinkaton for everything unless she’s weak to something and then i’ll just go based on type advantages (for anyone well over level 90)

lol fuck game meta apparently ??? idfk. lol

[sideofmango]

You Know What They Say...

Warnings: swearing, fluff Pairing: Bakugou x reader (I originally was going to do Kiri, but this doesn’t really fit him lol)

This uses gender neutral pronouns bc everyone deserves to see themselves in (y/n). 

Description: The first date with Bakugou was going awesome, well until (Y/N) and Bakugou went to see one of the worst movies they had ever seen...anyways Bakugou sat there oddly quiet until (y/n) started trashing the movie and cursing out the characters...Bakugou was pretty sure he wanted to go on a second date after that.

Anywaysss GO GET YOUR MANS....

YOU WERE WALKING down the hallway towards your locker since school had just ended, intent on grabbing your books and heading outside to walk back to the dorms. Well, that was your plan until you saw the blonde spikes that belonged to king explosion murder himself. “Hey Baku!” You called, speeding up your steps to catch up with his stride.

“I thought I told you to stop calling me that, Big Hair.” He growled, shooting you a side glance. You smiled widely at him, laughing off the hostility as you slid your arm around his. He looked down at where your arms were connected but didn’t say anything about it, surprisingly enough. “I will if you go to the movies with me.”

Bakugou was quiet for a moment as you both walked outside, rolling his eyes before opening his mouth again. “Don’t make me regret it.” He said simply as you stopped, eyes widening in realization. 

“Wait so that’s a yes?!” Your smile widened despite his grimace.

“I said don’t make me regret it.” He repeated, his tone harsh, but once again you ignored it.

“Ok! The movie comes out this Friday! I was thinking about the 6:30 showing. We can meet here if you want?” You suggested as he grumbled something to himself before spinning around to look at you again. 

“I’ll be at your room at 5.” He said beginning to walk away.

“But the movie doesn’t start until 6:30...”

“We’re getting food first.” Bakugou answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Your eyes widened but you said nothing, simply nodding before you sped up your steps again, walking next to him quietly as you both headed back to the dorms. 

You got in the elevator with him, the doors closing as you both remained silent, though you would sneak glances his way every now and then. You got to your room, stopping to unlock the door, not even realizing Bakugou had walked out of the elevator behind you, stopping and leaning against the wall opposite your door.

“What color do you like?” He questioned, startling you as you dropped your key staring at him with a hand to your heart. 

“Wh-what?” You blinked.

“What color do you like Dumbass?” He repeated a little more irritated than before.

“My favorite color? Why?”

“Just answer the question Dumbass!” His voice grew louder as you chuckled at his outburst.

“My favorite color is (your favorite color).” You answered simply as he nodded once and walked away. 

TIME SKIPPPPP

It was finally Friday and you had finished with school and had done your homework. You finished touching up your outfit and putting on your makeup (if you wear it, if not just ignore that). 

You turned to glance at the clock, being interrupted when a knock sounded at your door. You grabbed your phone and bag (if you want one, if not just ignore that) and opened your door. 

There stood Katsuki Bakugou wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. He stuck his hand out as a faint pink dusted his cheeks, revealing a small bundle of flowers in your favorite color. A smile grew on your face as you took the flowers from him.

“Thanks Baku.” You said softly. “I love them.” You put the flowers on your desk in a half full water bottle, reminding yourself that on the way back you had to stop to get a proper vase for them.

You closed the door behind you, sneakily sliding your brown hand into his paler one as you walked down the hall towards the elevator. He didn’t protest to having your hand in his so you left it, not noticing the faint smile that sat on his lips.

Bakugou took you to a ramen restaurant and ordered the spiciest thing on the menu for himself and the second spiciest thing for you. 

“I could’ve ordered for myself, you know?” You said as you both began to eat, the ramen arriving after a short amount of time. 

“You can order next time.” He said after a moment causing your face to heat up at the realization. Next time.

“Let me try yours.” You pleaded, holding your chopsticks out. He rolled his eyes yet obliged, as you took some of his and you held your bowl out to him, offering some of yours.

“Mine’s better.” He remarked as you rolled your eyes with a smile. You talked about random things and about the movie which was supposed to be an adaption of a show you loved and that you had been waiting a year for it to come out. (Let’s pretend it’s The Last Airbender movie).

Over dinner, you learned that Bakugou liked it too and you began arguing about which nation was the best. Of course he said Fire Nation, but you said that Water Nation was best because Katara and Sokka were the best. 

“You know, Zuko’s pretty hot.” You said before drinking some water, watching as he started rolling his eyes and growing irritated. He was jealous.

“Whatever.” He huffed.

“Not you getting jealous over a fictional character.” You said teasingly, trying to hold in your giggles as his eyes narrow slightly and he scoffs at you, but doesn’t deny it. “Don’t worry Katsu, I only like one Hothead.”

“Damn right.” He replied proudly. “Hey who are you calling Hothead?!”

“You.” You replied. “Come on let’s go to the movies before we miss the previews!” You said as you took out your wallet at the same time he did. He pushed your hand away as he got money out.

“No.” He said simply as you continued to both try and put money to pay.

“Katsuki. I’m not letting you pay for me.” You said simply. You didn’t like when people paid for you. (When the author interjects herself into the character 😙) 

“No (Y/N).” He said, shoving the money in before snatching the check from the table before you could do anything. He ended up paying and you pouted at him. “What’s wrong with you now Big Hair?”

“I wanted to go Dutch.” You said as he rolled his eyes, before taking your hand in his again. (going dutch means splitting the bill in half, so you would each pay half.)

“Next time.” he replied simply before pulling you into the theater. Damn it, he did it again! Next time...

You both got into the theater, which was at the moment fairly empty since you had gotten there early to get the best seats. You pulled Bakugou around the theater to find the best seats, doing it twice until you finally decided on the seats right in the middle of the theater. “Are you done now?” Bakugou questioned with a raised eyebrow. Though he wouldn’t admit it, he found it cute what you had just done...though he seemed to be finding everything you were doing cute simply because it was you. 

“Yes.” You said triumphantly before tossing some popcorn into your mouth. The theaters filled up a short while later and before you knew it, the movie was starting. 

The arm rest between the two seats you were both in moved up, so the explosive blonde pushed it up and pulled you closer to him as you held the popcorn in your lap. You looked at him a small smile on your face, and he was thankful it was dark so you couldn’t see him blushing. 

It had only been two minutes into the movie and you already were angry about it, frowning at the way they had already pronounced avatar and it had only been the first lines of the script. “It’s Avatar not Oh-vatar.” You grumpily stated as Bakugou raised an eyebrow not expecting you to say anything, though you had been right. 

You were trying your best not to get angry, but M. Night Shyamalan was making it very hard. You were doing fairly alright and stuck to just angrily eating popcorn until this scene came up. 

(disgraceful...a joke....can you tell I'm not salty 😒)

“You’ve gotta be kidding me! This movie is a fucking joke!” You said letting some popcorn fall out of your hand as Bakugou tried to hide his smirk by eating popcorn. 

It wasn’t like you were the only disappointed one either, the theater was full of fans and they were all disappointed. 

“It’s a steaming pile of shit!” You said angrily, looking over to see if Bakugou was agreeing with you. He simply looked at you with raised eyebrows.

“Can you stop cursing? There are children present!” A woman said standing up in the middle of the theater, a few rows below you. She wildly gestured towards her six year old son sitting there looking embarrassed by his mother. He was gently tugging her sleeve to get her to sit down, but she wasn’t budging as she stared at you.

“Shut up Karen!” You called, rolling your eyes. She looked around to see who had said that as Bakugou burst out laughing.

“You are a horribly disrespectful child! Your mother should’ve raised you better! Letting you curse like that, she should be ashamed.”

“Hey shut the fuck up, shitty woman! Don’t talk about her like that!” Bakugou said angrily, creating sparks in his hand, his red eyes narrowing at the middle aged woman. The woman began sobbing and screaming as employees shut the lights on and the woman pointed the two of you out saying that you had threatened her and her son.

Needless to say, you had been kicked out of the theater and banned and the movie had ended for the night, though most people thanked you for them out of their misery. 

“What a bitch.” You mumbled as the two of you decided to walk around the downtown area since the movie had ended earlier than you had expected.

Katsuki Bakugou didn’t say anything but the smirk on his lips said enough. “What?” You questioned curiously.

“Nothing.” He said shaking his head as you walked into a store to buy a vase for the flowers that were in your dorm. When you arrived back at your dorm, the two of you hadn’t really talked that much walking back, but you didn’t need to it wasn’t an awkward silence...it was nice. “Next Friday.” He said simply before beginning to walk to his room. 

You grabbed his wrist to stop him, confused by what he had just said. “What?” You questioned, your eyes searching his face. 

“Dinner. Next Friday.” He said simply. “I’ll message you. Goodnight, Big Hair.”

“N-Night Hothead.” You called back after a moment seeing him walk away towards the elevator. He didn’t turn around, and you couldn’t tell from where you stood but he was smiling. Next Time.

Tags:

[songofclarity]

What's your opinion on Huaisang going :3 in his quest for world peace?

Hello, Anon, that is an excellent question! Because I am of a mixed opinion in that I want to have my cake and eat it too! The short answer is that I think Nie HuaiSang going :3 is fanon and then there is canon Nie HuaiSang but I adore them both ♡

On the one hand, I love a Nie HuaiSang who is healthy, happy, and confident enough to go :3 in his quest for world peace! He set aside his grief, got all his ducks in a row, and now he's living his best life. After all the angst and cruelty that's happened, it's refreshing to get a good cat-and-mouse game where it's the bad guy running from sharp claws reaching for his rotten tail. Nie HuaiSang is intelligent and clever enough to manage it all, too. We saw he's a little schemer in his Gusu days so have at it, Director Nie! After all, the first step to getting revenge for your late Da-ge (may he rest in peace) is to have fun with it!

On the other hand, and this is where I'm going to be real about it, that's not a Nie HuaiSang I've come across in the actual content... Donghua Nie HuaiSang (in the two seasons we have) has a depressing cloud hanging over his head, novel Nie HuaiSang is brimming with well-concealed rage, and CQL is a wonderful mix of the two. For the most part, he parodies Jin GuangYao's pitifulness with his "I don't know" x3, but even that could easily come from something real.

Just as we witness Lan XiChen crushed under the wheel of realization, Nie HuaiSang was crushed by it, too, albeit off page/screen. He's gone from worrying about his grades, being yelled at to do his saber practice, and organizing his fan collections to confronting his third-brother-by-proxy's betrayal, deceit, manipulation, 1st degree murder, child murder, incest, rape, coercion, unlawful imprisonment, and whatever else. Nie HuaiSang learned he was used by Jin GuangYao to kill Nie MingJue. That's some really heavy stuff!

Nie HuaiSang going :3 in his quest for world peace also kind of does a disservice to Nie HuaiSang's development, characterization, and actions -- at least how I've come to understand them. There is an innocent delight in going :3 that I feel Nie HuaiSang is no longer capable of when Wei WuXian returns. This leave us with him going :3 out of some darker enjoyment that I just can't see. Nie HuaiSang is all about that righteousness anger. He refers to Jin GuangYao as an immoral man. Less than being cute and mischievous about it, I think Nie HuaiSang shows more signs of wanting to tear Jin GuangYao’s throat out with his teeth lol

But Nie HuaiSang is weak physically, his cultivation is poor, and he’s not a genius. He’s clever, though, with the ability to read the room! And the writing on the wall says that accusing Jin GuangYao of his crimes is dangerous. Jin GuangYao is not above murdering innocent children, for goodness sake, and if they end up in a direct confrontation, Jin GuangYao will make Nie HuaiSang’s death look like an accident. It’s just... not a good stage for expressions of :3 and Nie HuaiSang seems to be in a higher percentile for self-preservation.

This ties in with my other probably unpopular opinion: Nie HuaiSang depended on Lan XiChen from beginning to end and never stopped thinking of Lan XiChen as his brother. It's his brother and Da-ge's brother, with Jin GuangYao delegated as "the other." Nie HuaiSang going :3 during events behind Lan XiChen's back when Lan XiChen suffered is a cruelty all its own that I don't recall seeing evidence to support  -- and I also hope doesn’t exist where I haven’t looked lol

Like I've seen the theories that suggest Nie HuaiSang blames Lan XiChen for Nie MingJue's death, but I've never really seen it talked about that Nie HuaiSang would be blaming himself. Not only was Nie HuaiSang aware that Jin GuangYao raised Nie MingJue's blood pressure, Nie HuaiSang continued to 1. accept all the gifts from Jin GuangYao despite it making Nie MingJue angry 2. delighted whenever Jin GuangYao arrived in the Unclean Realm because Nie MingJue would have someone else to yell at 3. left Nie MingJue's anger as a Jin-GuangYao-and-Lan-XiChen problem and thus left Nie MingJue entirely in their care.

(In Nie HuaiSang's defense, he did not know about the saber spirit and its effects until after 1. Nie MingJue told him shortly before Nie MingJue died and that was one of the reasons they had another big argument 2. after Nie MingJue died and either Lan XiChen, Jin GuangYao, or the Nie family in general had to tell him. Nie HuaiSang is the poster child of “Ignorance is Bliss” and then he had to tear the poster off the wall when he found out.)

Like a little child, however, Nie HuaiSang played Jin GuangYao and Nie MingJue off one another for his own gain. So all the times Jin GuangYao came to play murder music for Nie MingJue, Nie HuaiSang was happy and being :3 for all the wrong reasons.

Once the truth came out, I think that would have been a very, very hard lesson to bear. That would have been the loss of innocence and likely the loss of being :3 about things in general.

So when Nie HuaiSang is going about his revenge scheme, he's no longer a child about it. He knows now that when he starts playing Lan XiChen and Jin GuangYao off of one another that he's playing with his life and with Lan XiChen's. In the past, Nie HuaiSang would run off with his presents and let Jin GuangYao and Nie MingJue sort themselves out. In the present, Nie HuaiSang tries to be there for the conflict. In the treasure room scene, he reinforces what Lan XiChen needs to know in order to stand his ground versus Jin GuangYao -- you're doing this for our dearly departed Da-ge who is my brother and also your brother -- and then he faints before anyone can tell him to leave the room.

But his life is still in danger. He's always in danger on this hunt for world peace. Lan XiChen was Nie HuaiSang's sword and shield. CQL did a mighty disservice to Guanyin Temple, I feel, because in the novel Jin GuangYao was effectively, "Fuck you for stabbing me, Lan XiChen" and then Jin GuangYao only has eyes for Nie HuaiSang. Jin GuangYao is so furious and petty that even when he'd been poisoned, lost an arm, was “betrayed,” and was stabbed through the chest, he was still probably going to try to tear Nie HuaiSang limb from limb.

And if Lan XiChen hadn't been 100% ready and willing to stab Jin GuangYao, Nie HuaiSang would have died instead. If Lan XiChen gave Jin GuangYao even a second of leniency after that "Behind you!" then Nie HuaiSang would have died instead.

There's really no chance to be :3 about the situation when Lan XiChen is over there telling Jin GuangYao not once but twice to STOP impaling himself further on Shuoyue, because that's how much much Jin GuangYao wanted to get his hands on Nie HuaiSang in that moment. And even though Jin GuangYao is impaled, he’s still not dead! He’s getting to his feet now and he still wasn’t dead! He’s walking around now and he’s still not dead...!

There's bound to be less :3 and more choking on the heart in his throat when Nie HuaiSang's life is literally in Lan XiChen's hands in that moment. Considering how well that went for Nie MingJue, just -- yikes! The trust Nies have in Lan XiChen is unfathomable!

And then (and then!) only when it’s done, only when Jin GuangYao’s neck is snapped and the threat is gone, does Nie HuaiSang let the smoke of his anger show. Nothing cute, nothing sweet, nothing mischievous comes out. Nie HuaiSang wanted that man dead and he was likely terrified about it and he looked ridiculous maintaining his cover to do it but he took it very, very seriously.

For all the things Nie MingJue tried to teach Nie HuaiSang about using his saber, the one lesson that stuck was this:

Nie HuaiSang knew to respect the business edge of a blade.

King. We stan.

[tuanyiems]

Peppermint Chocolate

Kim Yugyeom Fluff Words: 1350 [Masterlist in blog] a/n - I am in love with this little meet cute lol Look forward to seeing this pair again in a future series coming very very soon! ;D

You’re a big believer in self-care. Whether it’s indulging in overpriced bath salts or taking a quick afternoon nap during your work break, you like to show yourself love in all forms. So, when Friday rolls around and you’re on your way home, you don’t even think twice about walking into the gourmet chocolate store.

The bell chimes when you open the door and a warm, chocolatey wind immediately engulfs you. Despite it only being October, the brisk fall evening and the delicious sweet scent remind you of the holidays just around the corner.

Flashes of snow and peppermint cross your mind. It brings a smile to your face as you absentmindedly finger through the rows of chocolate, each piece wrapped carefully in gold foil.

“Welcome!” a deep voice breaks you out of your trance. When you look up, you find yourself smiling wider.

A tall man in a thin, black turtleneck and bright, red apron greets you from behind the counter. He smiles brightly, eyes curling and you can’t help admiring the charming mole beneath his eye.

“Hello,” you finally reply, finding your voice coming out softer than you had intended.

“Are you looking for something in particular?” He asks, leaning on the clear counter that displays an assortment of freshly baked desserts.

“Oh,” you pause, eyes wandering around the store. “Nothing in particular. I’m just looking.”

He nods, looking at you a moment longer. “Well, let me know if you need anything.”

You pretend to look over a tray of caramel squares until you see him walking away in your peripheral. Looking up again, you watch his backside disappear behind the double doors of what you assume to be the kitchen.

You let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. You didn’t think the chocolate store would have eye candy too.

When he comes back out, you’re caught off guard again but if he notices the tremor in your gaze, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he holds his arms out, a tray of chocolates in his hands.

“Would you like a sample?” he asks brightly, setting the try on the clear display. You welcome the excuse to get a closer look.

You pretend to look at the chocolates, your cheeks heating when you feel his eyes on you.

“It’s a fresh batch,” he adds.

You purse your lips, trying hard not to smile too big. “They look delicious,” you finally say, reaching for a piece. “Thanks.”

A little too consciously, you pop the square of chocolate into your mouth. You watch him, watching you. It makes you shy but you don’t want to look away. A fresh, peppermint flavor immediately surrounds your tongue. You smile in surprise, brows raising. He is grinning back at you, a proud shimmer in his eyes.

“Minty!” You finally speak, breaking into a giggle. “I was just thinking about peppermints for Christmas.”

He smiles warmly. “Isn’t it a little too early for that?”

You shrug, eyes traveling down to the pastries under the clear glass. “I imagine working here feels a little bit like Christmas year-round.”

He chuckles softly, leaning onto the counter and you try not to think about how close his face is to yours now.

“You should come work here and find out,” he answers playfully.

“I’m guessing that means it’s not,” you laugh.

For a moment, he bites at the side of his bottom lip, eyes staring down at you mischievously. “I don’t know, maybe it will be if you worked here.”

You feel a flutter straight in your gut.

“W-well,” you stutter, eyes trailing before they land on the gold name tag on his apron. “Yugyeom.”

“That’s my name,” he answers softly, eyes teasing.

“Oh,” your hand comes to your lips, face heating exponentially. You didn’t realize you said his name aloud.

Chuckling, Yugyeom pushes the tray closer to you. “Why don’t you have another?”

You nod, head lowering as you grimace to yourself. You take another piece into your mouth, the sweet melting on your tongue being a slight comfort to your otherwise huge embarrassment.

“See anything you like?” Yugyeom lifts a brow.

You clench your fist around the end of your sleeves to physically hold yourself back from blurting out You. Instead you point to the first thing you see. “I’ll take one of that, please.”

“Are you a fan of peppermint?” he asks.

“What?” you look at him curiously before you follow his hands. Only then, do you realize you had pointed to a chocolate peppermint brownie.

“Oh,” you jerk your hands, almost flinging the sample tray off the counter. “Oh dear!”

Luckily, Yugyeom grabs hold of the plate before it can shatter on the floor. His hand comes over yours, a gesture meant to calm you. Your heart jumps to your throat anyways.

“It’s all good,” he reassures you, thumb brushing the back of your hand.

You let out a breath, silently reprimanding yourself. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today, I’m usually not this clumsy.”

He only shakes his head sweetly, “A little human error makes you all the more adorable.”

He sends you a wink so smoothly, it takes you a couple blinks to fully register it, but it hits you with full force. You have to purse your lips to stop yourself from smiling like an idiot.

You take a step back to calm yourself, but immediately regret this choice when your purse accidentally knocks a row of chocolate boxes off a shelf.

“Oh my god!”

With a face on fire, you drop to the ground to gather the boxes, Yugyeom’s amused laughter only feeding the flame. He’s quick to come around the counter, joining you on the floor. You let him take the boxes from your hands, grateful to have your palms free to hide your face behind.

“I’m so sorry!” You apologize, half muffled by your hands.

“No worries,” he chuckles easily, tucking the boxes back onto the shelf. “They were in an awkward area anyways.”

When you refuse to uncover your face, Yugyeom let’s out a breathy chuckle. His hands are back on yours again as he gently tugs them away from your face.

“It’s really alright,” he smiles at you warmly and you don’t know whether to be reassured or embarrassed that he’s witnessing all of this. Why did this have to happen in front of the cutest guy ever?

With both hands just barely on your arms, Yugyeom helps you back up like you’re something delicate. Or maybe he’s worried you might knock another thing over.

Back behind the counter, Yugyeom smiles at you like nothing happened.

“So,” he pauses and you wonder if that’s a faint blush on his cheeks. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Y/N,” you tell him quickly, deciding not to mention that you didn’t tell him in the first place.

His smile grows bigger when he hears your name. “So, Y/N, is there anything else I can help you with?”

You shake your head, the previous embarrassment still lingering. “Unless there’s a weapon behind your counter and you can put me out of my misery, then no, I think I’m good.”

He laughs at your joke and you feel just a little bit better.

“No, just some hand mixers and a lot of chocolate,” he jokes.

You smile, rummaging through your purse for your wallet. “Well, that’s one way to go.”

“I’ll throw some peppermints in just for you.”

Chuckling, you hand him your card and watch as he finishes your purchase.

“It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Y/N,” he smiles, pushing the boxed pastry on the counter towards you. “Please enjoy and come again soon!”

You smile gratefully. “Thanks, you too!”

The last thing Yugyeom sees is the look of horror on your face before you are rushing out of the store, the bell chimes replacing any last goodbyes.

Yugyeom glances back down to the counter, the red pastry box still sitting by the register. Chuckling to himself, he places the box away, beside his tray of chocolate peppermint samples.

He hopes you’ll be back very soon.

[drabblesforsanguine]

Letting Go - Oneshot

Summary: Miraak lets go of the past and looks towards his future.

Pairing: Miraak/f!LDB

Warnings: fluff, flirting, light angst, brief descriptions of ptsd, mentions of violence, possible thalassophobia triggers

Word Count: 1879

Prompt: none

A/N: this is the first oneshot I've ever posted on this site, so pls be gentle lol. Also I'm on mobile, so sorry about any spelling/grammatical errors. Find me on ao3 

The only sound to be heard was the soft splash of the oars cutting through the water. No sound of waves crashing against the shore or the cry of seagulls, for even they didn't fly out this far.

If he squinted hard enough, Miraak could just barely make out the rocky outline of the northern coast far behind the Last Dragonborn.

The midday sky above was overcast and the ocean breeze was bitter. More than once he'd seen her shiver from a particularly harsh gale only to pretend that she didn't. A storm was brewing on the sea behind him, though with luck it would be many hours before it reached them.

"Not much further, now." Her eyes were fixed on the dark waves as she spoke.

"You've been saying that for the past hour." He grumbled, his arms starting to feel sore from this seemingly endless amount of rowing.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, a faint teasing smirk on her lips.

"Well, this time I mean it."

His gaze flickered down to the wooden chest resting by her feet, his curiosity still piqued as to its contents and purpose for being here.

He'd asked about it at the beginning of their voyage, among many other questions, but of course she'd just shrugged him off like she always does and said he'd find out once they were far out at sea. Well, they were far out enough.

He stopped rowing and fixed her with a hard stare.

"I'm not rowing another inch until you tell me what we're doing out here."

She finally turned and faced him fully, one of her dark eyebrows arched upwards. With a dead serious look in her eyes, she spoke.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm going to kill you, lock your corpse in this chest and dump it in the sea."

He blinked at her once, twice.

"Is it impossible for you not to act like a child all the time?"

She rolled her eyes then, with a sigh, she leaned over the chest and lifted the lid. Miraak peered inside with curiosity. His eyes narrowed at what he saw.

"Are those..."

"The Black Books, yes." She said, wrapping her arms around herself as another breeze rolled by.

True to her word, inside the confines of the chest were all seven of Hermaeus Mora's forbidden tomes, each individually wrapped in animal skins and tightly bound with rope.

"He will not be happy if we do this." Miraak cautioned after a short pause, his eyes still fixed on the evil books before him.

The books that had brought him nothing but suffering. Just looking at them made him feel... uneasy, for lack of a better word. It was the same feeling he always had in Apocrypha: alone, yet constantly under watch by an unseen entity.

She just shrugged nonchalantly. "He's not exactly thrilled with me anyways."

He stared at her, his brows pinched together. "Why?"

For a moment she appeared confused. "For starters, I shot him with Auriels bow, temporarily destroyed his plane of Oblivion and stole his favorite champion?"

He rolled his eyes and huffed out a breath. "No. I mean, why are you doing this?" He gestured towards the chest to make his meaning clear.

"Oh," she mumbled, suddenly avoiding eye contact with him. When she finally focused back on him, it was with a seriousness he'd rarely seen from her before.

"These books have brought us nothing but misery -- you most of all." He winced involuntarily at her words, but she continued. "Maybe doing this will give you- us, some closure. If not, then at least it'll piss Hermaeus Mora off, which is good enough for me."

He scoffed, "He is probably laughing at us as we speak, you know."

"Yeah. Well, he can choke on his own tentacles for all I care. Now, are you gonna keep rowing or what?" She asked, feigning irritation as she shut the lid of the chest.

He rolled his eyes but seeing as she revealed why they were there, he stayed true to his word and continued pushing the boat further out to sea.

"You are too eager to defy the Daedra." He admonished lightheartedly.

She shrugged, "We defeated him once. We can do it again."

He gave no response, though there were many things he wanted to say. Most notably that she was naive to think they could defeat a Daedric Prince twice. They'd merely gotten lucky the first time. He wanted to say that, but he didn't.

After a brief silence, she spoke again.

"How long has it been now?"

"Nine months, 14 days." He answered without skipping a beat.

"How time flies," she mused. "It feels like only yesterday that I was nursing you back from the brink of death."

"Don't remind me."

She smirked at his sour tone.

"Come on, I wasn't that bad of a caretaker."

Again, he didn't respond.

Miraak would much rather forget those first few weeks after he was freed from Apocrypha -- after she freed him from Apocrypha -- when he was so weak and ill that he couldn't even walk by himself, and he was forced to rely on the Dovahkiin's good will to help him.

He hated feeling so powerless. So vulnerable.

He'd learned from an young age how to take care of himself, but all those years trapped in Oblivion made him forget. For a long time it pained him to admit how much he needed her in the beginning, to help him remember how to be human. It wasn't quite as painful to admit now, but he'd still rather not be reminded of it.

"Is it such a bad thing to let others take care of you from time to time?" She asked, as if reading his thoughts.

"In my time, relying too much on others was a good way to get yourself killed."

"You're not in that time anymore."

She looked at him with a sincerity that made his insides ache. He almost couldn't stand it -- these feelings she aroused in him.

He looked down at the chest again, just so he didn't have to bear that look anymore.

"This should be far enough." She said suddenly.

Miraak stopped rowing and secured the oars in place. He watched curiously as she reached into her satchel laying on the bench beside her and withdrew an iron padlock. She paused for a split second before reaching out towards him with the padlock.

With little hesitation on his part, he took it from her open palm, his fingers lightly grazing against her skin. He saw goosebumps raise on her arm as he withdrew his fingers, but chalked it up to the cold. For a Nord, she didn't handle the cold very well.

His hands felt heavier than usual as he reached forward and snapped the lock shut around the latch, sealing the chest.

When he looked up at her, there was a hint of relief in her eyes. Like a huge weight had already been lifted from her shoulders. He felt it too.

"Ready?"

He nodded, unwavering.

They both stood carefully as to not tip the small rowboat over, each grabbing one side of the chest, and leveraged it precariously on the boats edge. Kneeling side by side, they shared one last look of determination then, after a deep breath, they pushed the chest overboard. Together they peered over the edge and watched it sink into the dark water below. With all luck, it will remain lost to the depths of the Sea of Ghosts forever.

Then they waited.

A minute passed, two minutes. For what felt like forever they remained there, holding their breaths as they stared into the icy water. Nothing ever happened. No mass of angry, slimy tentacles appeared over them, threatening to disembowel them for desecrating his precious tomes.

When it finally felt safe to do so, they each exhaled their long held breaths. Relief finally settled in his bones.

She spoke after another significant pause, if only to break the ice.

"When I 'won' the Oghma Infinium, the first thing I did with it was drop it into the sea. At least now it's wretched cousins can keep it company."

"Mora will not let this go unpunished. Sooner or later he will have his revenge." He hated that his voice wavered ever so slightly. He was never one to show fear. He could feel it, yes, but he certainly never showed it.

If she noticed, she gave no indication.

"Yes, he will," she said, her tone not lacking in surety. "And when he does, we will face him together."

Then she turned towards him, a faint smile on her face. His stomach nearly jumped out of his throat when her hand slowly slid over to rest atop of his own. Strangely though, he didn't move away. He should've moved away, but he found that he didn't want to.

Even before he'd been imprisoned for thousands of years, Miraak had gone out of his way to avoid intimacy. It was nothing but a weakness to be used against him. After being completely devoid of the touch of others for so long, he'd forgotten how nice it could feel.

Seeming to act on a will of it's own, his hand turned upwards and sought her own significantly smaller one. Her ice cold skin immediately warmed at his touch.

"Together." He repeated with a nod.

Her smile grew a little bit brighter, her cheeks turning a faint pink. It was only due to the cold air, or so he told himself.

"But until then," he continued, "let's get somewhere warm. You're freezing out here."

She gave his hand a little squeeze before pulling away, much to his disappointment. He tried not to let it show, but the way her smirk grew even more told him he was not as stoic as he thought.

His disappointment quickly faded, however, as he watched her take a seat on the bench he'd previously occupied. Still smiling, she crossed one leg over the other and pat the empty space next to her.

"Yes, let's go home."

Home. She'd never called it that before. It was always 'my house' or 'the house', but never 'home'.

Struggling to contain his own smile, he sat down next to her and started unfastening the oars. Before he could react, she scooted closer to him and huddled against his side, digging her hands into his robes for warmth.

She was shivering worse than he'd realized.

He wrapped one of his arms around her to grab the other oar. She angled her body in a way that allowed him to row while still being close enough to absorb his warmth. With a tranquil sigh, she rested her cheek on his chest, the peek of her head stopping just below his chin.

He tried to tell himself she was just cold, but he knew better. He'd always known better.

It was in that moment, with his ferocious little Dragonborn cuddled against his body for warmth, he realized that she was his home, and to his surprise, that wasn't such a scary thought.

For the first time in a long time, he had something worth holding onto and he never planned on letting go.

[terrence-silver]

“ your touch does not need to be soft. i will not break. “ naturally for silver I’m curious lol

You struggled hurting him, and Terry knew. 

 He noticed immediately. 

 Like he noticed everything else.

 It was simply a special talent he had going. Pushing your boundaries had a certain exhilarating factor to it, though. A sense of challenge. Fun, in strictly layman terms. You cared for him so fiercely, handling him with anything but the utmost care (in his opinion, to comedic extents) felt - well, bad to you, he supposed. How amusing. Hilarious, even. The thought of you viewing him, of all people, in such a peculiar light. Maybe if he was some other, lesser person - some random little puny nobody, this would all make sense. But, like this? Don't you know who he was? What he was capable of? Did you simply not get the memo? His hands killed before. Yes, they have. In the war, and a few times after, when the situation called for it, as a man in his line of work often found himself faced with - the inevitability of conflict. He was twice your size and twice your frame too. He could break every bone in a man's body with nothing but the pressured strike of his own fists. He honed himself into a living weapon. Trained, relentlessly. Sweat out every remaining vestige of weakness out of his own system like an illness until nothing remained but raw power, grace and dexterity. And you were concerned with hurting him a little, under his own consent and even outright insistence? Ridiculous! You were, indeed, slightly ridiculous. Offensive, almost! Arrogant of you to even assume you had the sheer ability to injure him. Actually injure him. Who do you think you were? A god? 

 “ Your touch does not need to be soft. I will not break. “ 

 He assured and then also re-assured, borderline ordering, for what seemed like the fifteenth time in a row when you apparently thought you were being very risque and daring (you weren't, by the way) by occasionally taking the initiative in kissing him for first (fuck’s sake) or when you applied a bit more force into the same said kiss. Apparently, you tried choking him once - just once - but your fingers were shivering and fidgeting around so much you merely apologized and stopped mid-act, ensuring he was alright immediately afterwards, caressing the faint, pinkish trace of your own touch on his throat better like it actually left some sort of meaningful mark. What on earth was going on with you? Why were you sniveling around so badly? Did he frighten you that much? Or did love turn you brain into absolute mush? Or were you just that much of a weakling? Terry was sparingly that merciful with you or ever. He's done everything humanly imaginable to you by now, in the context of sex and here you were, trying to slap him and doing it with such doddering, repulsive softness the slow, unsure impact of your open palm against his cheek almost made him burst out loud laughing. It was an interesting experience. Pestering you like this. He wasn't going to deny he was a sadist and that there was something oddly precious to this. Making you hurt the thing you adored the most; him.

 So, next time the subject came up, he handed you some rope. 

 Suggested that you use it on him - all color draining from your face.

 He was going to have such a splendid time torturing you.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #438

“i won’t let you die, keep you alive just to remind you of what you are not”

What is your favorite card game? Probably Magic: The Gathering, even though I'm not great at it. I just ADORE the artwork, mainly. Is YouTube one of your favorite websites? Yeah, given I'm constantly on it. Does your mother have a sister? If so, what’s her name? Yeah, named Kelly. What are you doing tomorrow? I'll be going with Mom to the pool at the gym. She goes Tuesdays and Thursday, so I'm going to start joining her to help ease soreness from my exercise days. Would you ever want to go to Africa? It's high on my bucket list! I am DESPERATE to visit the KMP and photograph and pet and pamper the meerkats. :') Last time you went bowling? Not since I was on a date with Girt. Would you ever want to own a bakery? Noooo, I don't enjoy cooking of any sort. I'm way too impatient. Do you like to text? It's funny, I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. I make typos too much and autocorrect only wants to work at the WRONG time, it seems. I'd still rather text than actually talk on the phone, though. You want your next pet to be what? To be realistic, it'll probably be a western hognose snake. I REALLY want a tarantula, but Mom absolutely will not allow it for as long as I live with her, lol. Trust me, I've pestered her about it. Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? Eh, probably a vampire. Do you prefer white or black electronics? Black. Do you like Nerds candy? Yeah. Is your favorite animal something you can have as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why you absolutely shouldn't, but it's sadly legal in some countries. Thankfully, not America. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? Oh yikes, I have no idea. Name three movies which have a soundtrack you really love: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, Tarzan, and The Blair Witch Project: Book of Shadows. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I know it's super cliche, but I genuinely found Outlast terrifying. As well, SCP Containment Breach is a game I can't even play because the jumpscares startle me too much, lol. They're just too loud. Do you own any pet fish? What kind of fish are they? No. I'm not really interested in keeping fish as pets. What is the most irritating thing that a boyfriend or girlfriend has ever done to you? Tyler wanted to talk CONSTANTLY. Barely even two weeks in and he got all bent out of shape over there being days we just didn't text. Like dude, especially this early in a relationship, I don't want to talk 24/7. He acted like we were together for years or some shit. Like sorry I want alone time. That relationship was just a bad idea. Have you ever known someone who was in an abusive relationship? Sadly. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Probably Girt. He's just in general very smart. When yawning, do you cover your mouth? If out in public, yes. If you had a garden, what would you plant in it? Would you actually tend to it, or would it wind up neglected & withered? I could NEVER maintain a garden, but if I had the motivation and tolerance for the heat, that'd be nice. I'd love mostly flowers, and a grapevine would be pretty! Plus some strawberries. Do you like peanut butter? Yeah, definitely. What about marshmallows? Yep. How do you roast your marshmallows? They have to be BARELY brown at all. Like it has to be the liiightest toast. Do you eat s’mores? Ugh, hell yes. I really want some now, thanks. Own a lava lamp? No, but I'd love a pink one. :( Or black. Own any sort of glow-in-the-dark room accessory? No. Ever done something sexual in public? No, I have common decency. Do you like the taste of squid or eel? I COULD FUCKING NEVER TRY EITHER. Slimy or rubbery stuff like that is such a massive no. Ever date anybody in middle school? Yeah, Aaron in the 7th grade for a few months. Did you like to get dirty when you were little? I think I did. Like I know I loved speeding through mud puddles on my bike as a kid. Own anything that has to do with dragons or unicorns? I have a lot of dragon decor. Ever wanted to be a vet? Yep. Ever written your number in a public bathroom or a school text book? If so, did anyone actually call you? No. What type of weapon do you prefer? Uh, none...? I don't like weapons. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? No, not really. Would you rather watch a full season of American Idol, or So You Think You Can Dance? The latter, by far. I used to love that show. I really enjoy watching dances. Have you ever worn boxers? Pretty sure no? Last hickey was from? I've only gotten to that point with one person, you can figure it out. Have you ever put a kick me sign on the back of someone? No, that is so rude. Are there any inappropriate pictures of you anywhere? No. I've never taken an inappropriate picture. How many times do you tend to sneeze in a row? Two or three. Karma; believe or don’t? I don't believe it's a thing. I wish it was. Ever changed a diaper? Once. Or maybe twice? No plans on ever doing that again. When you see anything smaller than a quarter on the ground, do you pick it up? I don't even pick quarters up, really. Can bald guys ever be attractive? Um, yes? Do you like hugs? Yessss. Would you ever donate blood? Yeah, I have before. I'd just have to get better about drinking water so I don't faint. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home? You make that sound so scandalous, lmao. Yeah. What is the last song to make you cry? "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Have you ever kissed someone in the rain? Yeah. Have you kissed someone with braces? No. Are you anyone’s first love? I don't believe so. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? I'M LOSING WEIGHTTTTTT. :') The gym is paying off! Is there a person of the opposite gender on your mind? That's kinda a permanent thing. He's always there, even if only in the back. Who was the last person to wink at you? My cat, ha ha. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Yes. Are any of your really close friends pregnant right now? REALLY close friends, nope. Are you for or against inter-racial relationships? ... You know it's 2021, right???? This never should have been controversial. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? Well, there's caffeine... When the holidays come around, do you watch holiday movies? No. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? I don't recall. Do you say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” in order to avoid offending people who don’t celebrate Christmas? I honestly just say "merry Christmas." Have you ever made/played with a sock puppet before? Yes. Have you ever seen a waterfall (aside from in a fountain or other manmade things)? Only small ones. Are you a frequent sufferer of heartburn? Yes; I actually have a prescription for chronic heartburn. If I don't take it, I'll get heartburn to the point I come near tears. How many different colleges have you gone to? Three. How much stress can you handle? Ha, not a lot at all. What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? I'm 25 and feel like I've just... wasted so much, and I continue to. I never thought I'd make it to this age and to have gone so short a distance in terms of being a successful adult. Have you ever disowned a friend or family member for their beliefs? I've stopped being friends with people, yes. Do you ever feel like your life is too boring or predictable? It 120% is. Do you think you will die happy? To be honest... I think no a lot of the time. Do you like looking at pictures? Yeah. Are you a submissive person? Very. Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I do. What are your views on the death penalty? I support it in extreme cases. Once you prove to be a thorough monster that deeply endangers other humans... you don't deserve life. We as a society have to work together, not destroy one another. Do you like horror movies? Why or why not? Yeah! I like the thrill of them. Would you ever be able to become a vegan? No; I am FAR too picky with my food. I want to be vegan, but I just wouldn't survive. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had a whole story based around some plastic dinosaurs, alligators, deer, and Pokemon figurines. Who was your first best friend? What is your favorite memory of/with them? Are you two still friends? Brianna. I don't know what my favorite memory is... We made a lot. We're Facebook friends, but we don't talk anymore. Would you rather hang out with someone who is always high or someone who constantly wants to get drunk all the time? High, I guess. Drunk people I think get sloppier and, in some cases, angry. The (few) high people I've been around have just been chill and friendly. How did you meet your newest friend? I'm not entirely sure who I consider to be my newest friend. The last time you kissed someone, were your arms around their neck? I don't think so? I'm pretty sure I was just hugging her around the waist. You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get? I've mentioned how I wanna get my nose re-pierced in multiple surveys. Do you straighten your hair? No. When is the next time you will see the person you like? Who knows, dude. I really want to be able to walk for two minutes without feeling like I'm dying before I go to an airport again, and even more importantly, even as a fully-vaccinated person, I want Covid to chill out before I travel again. And who the fuck knows when that'll be since people don't want to listen to goddamn professionals. Did you get to sleep in today? I actually slept through my alarm and was late to gym today. :x Your first dog? I was born into the family with a collie named Trigger, but she passed when I was a baby, so I don't have any memories of her. We got what I want to say was a Rottweiler mix named Angel at one point, who I consider our first family dog, but she was born with that disease that some puppies have where they just... die. Who I consider MY first REAL dog was Teddy. <3 Stood loyally by my side as my furry son and most devoted friend for around 13 years. Do you prefer mint, citrus, or cinnamon toothpaste? Mint. Are you one of those people who are always cold? No, I'm always hot. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had feelings for someone and thought “This is the person I want to be with forever”? Yeah, twice. Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Of course! Have you had a significant other that you never kissed? Well, boyfriends, but I wouldn't count the ones I haven't kissed as truly "significant other"s. Has anybody ever dated you only for your looks? I don't think so. Do you have any handshakes with anybody? Nah. What are you listening to? "Necessary Evil" by Motionless In White & Jonathan Davis. Would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne. Since middle school. Who is your favorite author? I don't have a fave. Do you like cheesecake? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH- How did you meet the last person you kissed? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Do you wake up cranky? Not usually, no. I'm actually in my best mood in the morning. Have you ever met your favorite band/singer? No, but holy fuck would that be awesome. I want to thank him for his music so badly. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)? Yeah. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes, but not this one. Do chickens have feelings? Yes. Have you ever been to a spa? Yeah, even though I really wasn't interested. I just went with Colleen because she invited me. I appreciated her wanting to hang out and include me of course, so I was happy to go, but it's not something I'd do of my own volition. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? The lemonade. Favorite South Park character? I don't have one, given I'm not interested in the show. How often do you have to shave? When/where I shave grows back FAST, so frequently. Ever go ghost hunting? No but omg I'd love to. Someone date me just to go do this together one night lmao. Do you have any family in the military? No. Can you talk to your mother about most things? I know I CAN talk to her about absolutely everything, but I don't always. Would you ever homeschool your children? If they wanted it and it'd be beneficial to their health and educational success, then yes. Are you afraid of change? Oh boy, am I. Who’s your favourite character from one of your favourite books? I'll go with The Outsiders, in which case I remember it was Dally.

[dieb4ieat]

ate a chocolate rice cake (60) and a cup of watermelon (50)

i need to not binge today, i binged twice in a row and i feel like shit .. miss feeling like i needed to faint everytime i stood up lol

[olivieblake]

... I'm sorry, my message was too long and I couldn't be bothered to split it up LOL.

I just read Paradox and it was?? a masterpiece??? But I saw in the FFN comments that you said on your Tumblr that it was controversial oh yeah a lot of people had a lot of issues with it (the fuck) so I had to come here to (1) see and (2) spread some more love bc YOU ARE TOO TALENTED LMAO

AU Hermione was iconic as hell, and I loved her!! this is a very unpopular opinion and I appreciate it very much—she’s the primary reason this fic got so much negativity; people who chose to see her as purely a romantic rival for potterverse!Hermione decided to be v mean about her I actually preferred both AU characters initially - both Hermione and Draco - but tbf I love morally gray characters in general. Like that scene with her knife to Draco’s throat, can I say sexy??? yes like can you blame him? And the conflict with Voldemort, the fact that she took charge, my god. I am obsessed with literally everyone in your story and that is all I need to say 

You even got me to ship Jilly and while I’m not a Snilly shipper, I literally hate every man from Lily’s time so like. The fact that your writing actually got me to ship Lily with James of all people. I’m dead. Also I kind of loved James. That scene where he talks about Draco. I think I read it like 10 times bc I loved it so much I definitely think that’s one of my most memorable scenes from the fic

Actually there’s like at least 30 subchapters that I read about 10 times in a row, it made me take at least twice as long to read the fic as I normally would have

Admittedly both the originals grew on me, and I ended up preferring them; especially since new Draco was MIA for most of the latter half HA.

And also because – old Hermione did grow a lot more confident, and the fact that she stole the kiss, her entire realization about confidence and seizing what you want, I DIED 

And I also need to add your prose is BEAUTIFUL your dialogue is BEAUTIFUL your banter is BEAUTIFUL your characterization is BEAUTIFUL. I rambled about all this already in FFN comments but just. BEAUTIFUL. I appreciated the comments very much and am very happy to hear it!!

I’ve actually been in the worst reading slump for the past - year, actually LOL. it happens Nothing I’ve read has really seized me until Paradox - and honestly it did, woooo! it grabbed me from the very first chapter, and it was in part due to the hook (“wtf is goin on with hermione”) and in part due to, just, ugh, your writing, delicious. And then it just kept getting BETTER??? I was like “wow how does she do this” and then I was too busy gaping and screaming to ask that question anymore 

And that kiss??? May I say, the kiss at the end, it was. Perfect. I can’t. Not only was it beautifully written in general, but also, the moment with Draco’s recognition - the moment with him going *oh*, xyz, *oh*, that was so rhythmical on top of beautiful and I just. I screamed. definitely one of my favorite scenes I’ve ever written, thank you. writing it was a dream

I’m sorry I turned this ramble into an entire essay but basically

Love

I’m so excited to read Nobility and Lady Vengeance and actually everything you’ve ever written lmfao

Actually I’m pretty sure I slept on Nobility bc it was “eventual Dramione” according to tags but with the way you write Draco (even the original) and his intensity (see below) I just. I am willing to raze my Tomione heart to ashes haha. well, I do think part of the reason you were able to enjoy this fic more than some of the early readers is because you may have come in with a more open mind? certain dramione fans were…. upset, to say the least, about the two being paired up with the “wrong” versions. regardless I’m happy to hear it

I also really love the way you write Pansy based on your Sirius fic so. Ugh. I’m very excited like you don’t even know

Also old Draco’s intensity in the final half/third of the story I can’t

He went from “very canon Draco who works well with Sexy Hermione” to me going laksjdf;asjkdfdjkdskskskskskks 

literally just

Draco: *stares silently at Hermione for five seconds, except written beautifully*

me: *dramatic swooning only it’s bc I actually fainted bc ur draco is a treasure and i am WEAK* wonderful

also the reconciliation scene at the end. so perfectly written; it was inevitable I’d love the one between old draco and new hermione, but I also loved the one following; it was – both meaningful and oddly sweet and – nostalgic, I think, is the word I’m looking for aw that’s nice

and that reminds me

you are SO GOOD at setting atmosphere it’s just – I feel like that’s one of the hardest things to write, is atmosphere, and yet. You do it so seamlessly in such an impeccable way to the point that I just got swept away by the story before I even realized it and just. ugh. thank you! all of this is very nice to hear

Your writing is amazing thank you

Also I’m sorry I didn’t mean to ramble quite this hard LOL it happens to the best of us. thanks so much for reading and reviewing!! I appreciate it IMMENSELY and I’m always especially happy to hear someone enjoys this story in particular

[cheshiresense]

Oooh! Um... How about Kisuke/Yoruichi/Ichigo? Shadowrun AU (Fantasy AU if you don't know Shadowrun)

Lol I have no idea what Shadowrun is, did a quick google and it’s something like magic + cyberpunk + vaguely futuristic post-apocalyptic setting + virtual reality?? Omg it’s too complicated to write just from reading the wiki lmao, I’ll just give you a cyberpunk fantasy AU.

Edit: This got away from me a bit whoops.

1. Kisuke is your average humble toymaker in the Slums who may or may not supply the underground Robin Hood-esque rebel faction Visored with not-so-average weapons and prosthetics and various repairs and upgrades. The Visored are pretty much wanted in every kingdom in existence, partly because half of them used to be nobles themselves and were part of the minority who hated the way they treated their citizens, mostly because they keep fucking with the other nobles, but no one except said nobles actually wants them to stop because everybody who isn’t nobility pretty much hates those who are. Mostly, it’s the three neighbouring kingdoms - Seireitei, Silbern, and Las Noches - sitting cozy up in their walled off flourishing cities up high, constantly at war with each other but with plenty to eat and plenty of money to fund their large-scale chess games, and paying almost zero attention to the poor and homeless outside their walls. That doesn’t stop them from forcibly conscripting the lower class as cannon fodder or using the Slums as their personal dumping grounds or imprisoning or executing anyone they decide is breaking one law or another. Kisuke’s stayed under the radar so far, so nobody knows he’s the man even more wanted than the Visored, if only for his prodigal skills with cybertech. He’s the one who built their equipment and vehicles, who repaired Hiyori’s spine after she’d been left unable to walk from an ambush and produced a new arm for Hachi after it was cut off in a skirmish, both of which work just as well as the original parts. Most of the nobles either want to kill him or “hire” him. But a toymaker in the Slums who cobbles together tiny cats and dragons and chickens and pixies out of scrap metal for children to play with isn’t anything to look twice at.

2. Here is a secret only a handful of people know - Shihouin Yoruichi was born a cripple. She couldn’t walk, at all, and even the best prosthetics money could buy from the various cybertech companies were clunky and awkward and only allowed her to limp a certain distance. Her family, one of the great noble houses of Seireitei that specialized in seduction and assassination, hid her away out of shame, right up until a rebellious teenaged Yoruichi had had enough and snuck out one night on nothing but her wobbly fake legs and a crutch. She’d spent enough time on her own for the majority of her childhood to know just about every passageway and secret door that snaked through the length and width of Seireitei. She didn’t stop until she appeared in the Slums, and she fainted from exhaustion and hunger only a few days later, but she never looked back. Kisuke found her, took her in, and then made her legs on a whim, upgrading them every time he figured out something new and better that he could add to them. In exchange, Yoruichi used her newfound mobility to retrieve better materials for Kisuke, robbing delivery trucks en route to Seireitei’s cybertech companies or outright stealing from her own family’s weapons storage. Anything they could buy, Kisuke could reverse-engineer and make better. Ten years after she left her old life behind, her legs are a work of art, connected to her nerves to give her complete control over them but granting her superhuman speed and jumping ability, and she’d practiced enough with them over the years that her mind had no problems keeping up with both.  The prosthetics are lightweight but strong enough to withstand the swing of a blade or the impact of a bullet, and she would give a lot to see her family’s faces if they ever realize just who has been ransacking their vaults.

3. Most people carry some kind of weapon these days, but the best - for those who can afford them, or can call Kisuke a friend - can take the form of a companion when not in combat. Shinji’s is in the shape of a sphinx, all sleek lines and feline flexibility, but one that shifts into a sword in a silent whir of pulsing blue lines and polished metal at his command. Mashiro’s is a pixie, not unlike the toys commonly seen in Kisuke’s part of the Slums, except hers includes translucent wings threaded with pale green wiring. It’s perpetually perched on her shoulder, but in a fight, the pixie fuses with her hands and legs, the wings melting and sliding over her skin like liquid mercury to form gloves and boots that increase the power of her kicks and punches.

Yoruichi’s is a black cat but nobody actually knows what kind of weapon it can turn into. More often than not, Yoruichi sends it off as a spy because the thing is so realistic nobody can actually tell it’s not a real animal unless they get close enough to see the delicate wiring in its yellow eyes.

Nobody’s ever seen Kisuke’s either, weapon or otherwise, until a spy from a cybertech company snoops too closely around his shop. Then the other occupants get front-row seats to the bright red threads that extend from his hands - hands that light up with the many, many upgrades inside, a complicated maze of crimson circuits swirling beneath his flesh - and attach themselves to their target like strings on a puppet. At least he takes it out back before he literally rips the spy apart.

4. Once upon a time, before Yoruichi was even born, there were five noble houses instead of four. But the fall of the Shiba Clan is never talked about, and most don’t even remember the details anymore, only that most were put to the sword and the rest were scattered. One of the runners in Kisuke’s employ - the many who scrounge through the Slums’s trash heaps for parts Kisuke might find useful - is a boy on the cusp of twenty who looks uncannily like the last Shiba clan head before the family’s collapse. He goes by Ichigo and doesn’t seem aware of his lineage, and if he notices the way Shinji almost always makes an appearance when he comes in with his haul, and his payment always ends up including several extra portions of food and some high-grade medical supplies and even a new change of clothes now and then, he never says anything. After they find out he has two little sisters to feed, a handful of toys get bundled in as well, free of charge.

Kisuke wouldn’t know a Shiba from a Shihouin, and Yoruichi’s family never bothered teaching her all the things an heir or even just an average noble-born child would’ve needed to know, so neither of them treats Ichigo differently because of his blood or background. They do treat him differently because none of Kisuke’s runners have lasted as long as Ichigo. Sooner or later, they disappear, arrested by guards or killed in a back alley scuffle. Ichigo slinks into the shop at fifteen and still comes around every week like clockwork five years later. He always shows up with a decent haul too, and once, Yoruichi follows him, just to see where he’s getting his loot because surely most of the trash pits in the area have been picked clean over the years? There’s always more added to them, but not at the rate Ichigo is scrounging materials. So Yoruichi follows him one day when he leaves and that’s how they find out about his sisters and the makeshift hole in the wall they live in, shabby-looking on the outside but clean and cozy on the inside and insulated well from the cold. That’s also how they find out about all the enhancements Ichigo has, because Yoruichi makes the mistake of underestimating him and almost gets beheaded when he disappears and almost shivs her from behind with a hand-turned-blade, teeth bared like an animal as his eyes burn with golden circuitry.

(The Shiba Clan had been widely feared, once upon a time, for their genius in the more explosive weaponry and their talent with artificial intelligence and robotics and other biological cybertech enhancements. It was why they’d been so swiftly sentenced to death when they’d come down on the side of the poorfolk. Even one Shiba would’ve been equivalent to having a small army in one’s arsenal.)

Ichigo moved faster, jumped higher, hit harder, than anything Yoruichi had ever come up against. The crack of his heel coming down against the ground shattered rock and cement everywhere, and the only thing that saved her life that day was her dodging ability and a quickly shouted explanation for why she’d followed him in the first place. Ichigo wasn’t unreasonable, even if he wasn’t entirely human. His enhancements explained how he could move further through the Slums for loot and still put down roots in the area. It took some coaxing and several dozen more months of coming and going from the shop, but eventually, he’d also admitted that he didn’t know where his enhancements had come from, he couldn’t remember anything from before waking up the Slums with two regular human toddlers who called him brother depending on him. The only thing imprinted in his memory were the directives: 1) Take Care of Your Sisters, and 2) Survive.

But he was the most powerful thing around for miles, and Kisuke was fascinated because the work done on Ichigo was only vaguely like his own, and far more advanced than anything the nobility churned out these days. Yoruichi didn’t care as much, but she liked having a new sparring partner, not to mention Ichigo was very easy on the eyes, and a few more years on him meant Yoruichi could appreciate the sight without feeling like she was preying on a child.

Ichigo kept coming back, and eventually Kisuke managed to wheedle Ichigo into getting a checkup and upgrades, especially when he started outgrowing a few of his joint ports. Yoruichi watched the two of them make moon eyes at each other, listened to Kisuke ramble about something Ichigo told him the day before, noted the way Ichigo’s eyes sometimes strayed to Kisuke when the man wandered outside without a shirt and his pants on backwards after too many hours in his lab, and she was almost tempted to lock them in a closet together.

(She doesn’t notice the way Kisuke smiles indulgently at her when she comes home from a trip into Seireitei with an icebox of fresh strawberries from the Kuchikis infamous gardens because they’re Ichigo’s favourite, nor does she see Ichigo blink and cock his head in new understanding sometimes when he observes the way she drapes herself over Kisuke, comfortable and relaxed, but never does it with anyone else.)

In the world they live in though, trust is more important than love. Yoruichi has trusted Kisuke since she met him, and Kisuke’s trusted her since she was down two legs and still flung herself between him and a thief with a knife who thought the shop easy pickings. And the day Ichigo brings his sisters over and lets them run around out of his sight is the day they know he trusts them. It’s only natural to offer him and his little family a room of their own at the shop.

5. The day Yoruichi comes back with news of the Silbern Kingdom’s royal family and Las Noches’ royal family both being overthrown by several of their own noble families - the Ishidas and the Kurosakis, and the Coyotes, the Tu Odelschwancks, the Cifers, and the Jaegerjaquezs respectively - is the same day Shinji comes to them and tells them about the revolution movement that’s been in the works for a while now, about the remains of the Shiba Clan currently helping the Ishidas and Kurosakis take over Silbern, and about Ichigo’s own past - memory wiped for his own good because rumours of a Shiba child successfully integrated with his clan’s still experimental but groundbreaking technology had leaked, and if they’d gotten their hands on him, they would’ve turned him into their weapon. Better to hide him in the Slums, along with his two sisters who wouldn’t be of any use in a war for several more years, until they need him again, which they do now, because as soon as Silbern and Las Noches are theirs, they’ll be moving on to Seireitei post haste, and a two-pronged attack while the Gotei is still scrambling to defend themselves would hit them hardest, because for all that the kingdoms have been at war with each other for years, it had never been so direct, nor had their goals ever moved beyond poaching each other’s technologies. But for the revolution movement to succeed, they need Ichigo on their side, and it wouldn’t hurt for Kisuke and Yoruichi to join them too, technically Kisuke’s been their weapons-backer for years, and Yoruichi’s been their ear to the ground in Seireitei for just as long, and they’ll need all hands on deck. The kids can be left with Tessai.

Ichigo storms out. Yoruichi demands to know why they were never told before. And Kisuke surveys a tense-looking Shinji (who explains that it was supposed to be for their safety too - because Yoruichi was their only successful spy in Seireitei, and very, very few could match Kisuke’s genius, and it was just better to keep them out of the way) from beneath his hat before smiling blandly and promptly catching the man with a flick of his hand and five threads, unceremoniously tossing him out the window before he and Yoruichi both go to find Ichigo. It doesn’t take a genius to guess he’d returned to the hole-in-the-wall home he’d made for his sisters, and they join him after Ichigo acknowledges them with a jerk of his shoulders. They don’t speak right away, Ichigo sitting in stony silence, Yoruichi curled on one side of him still seething, Kisuke on his other, absently flexing one red-tinted hand in that way he only does when he’s contemplating murder.

They’ll help, all three of them. They don’t even need to discuss that. It’s high time for the upper-class to get their lives shaken up, the Slums are a disgrace, and if they have the chance to change that, they’ll take it, even if it means working beside people who have been using them for their own ends without giving them so much as a heads-up. Or in Ichigo’s case, will be using him since it’s pretty apparent he might not be the Gotei’s weapon but he is still very much the Shibas’ weapon, reserved for emergencies.

“Regimes come and go every day,” Kisuke remarks first, right hand fanning open, then closing, then opening again, crimson circuits shimmering along the vein lines of his palm.

“What a shame,” Yoruichi agrees with a grin that’s two-parts teeth and all-parts spite.

“…Three of us against three kingdoms that’ve just taken a beating?” Ichigo muses, but his eyes flare gold, and he’s smiling too. “Sounds like fun.”

[drenchedinmoonlite]

Jupiter, Uranus, meteor (and I think the red/blue star thing is very interesting, I didn’t know that)

✨Jupiter: tell me about something that makes you feel confident in yourself.

I’ve found that more masculine clothes make me feel quite confident. just in general, dolling myself up and putting myself together really makes me feel more comfortable and confident; you know, expressing myself. :) completing small tasks one at a time and reassurance always is nice, too

✨Uranus: tell me about one unique feature you have.

I (sort of) have fangs! so basically, my baby canines weren’t coming out fast enough and my adult canines were coming in over them. they ended up slightly wonky; jutting out ever so slightly compared to the rest of my teeth. I was a little worried about them at first but I’ve gotten quite accustomed to them! I feel like they give a sort of uniqueness to my smile (and they make me look like even more of a goblin lol)

💙Meteor: what’s the worst (physical) hurt you’ve experienced?

alright so, thankfully, I really haven’t been terribly (physically) damaged in my life so far. I find that painfully ironic since I am the clumsiest bitch on this planet lol. anyway, the worst pain I’ve probably experienced was falling down my house’s stairs. twice. in a row. I swear, it literally took the wind right out of me and it fucked up my back for a week. either that or a really, really, bad cramp I had one time that almost made me faint. 

[shesawriter39049]

“Such a brat “ Kim Taehyung (M) Random Mini Mafia AU Drabble

Soooo like , I randomly had a idea of writing something short and smutty involving Tae in a closet ..lol then as I started typing on my phone it turned into like a Mafia situation? Yeah Idk down the line if there’s interest maybe I’ll make this a one shot ? Also if I continued it..there would be a new name this just fits the smut scenario! It’s pretty much pure smut with slight backstory

“Fuck you just had to be a brat didin’t you ?” The hiss came harsh against the side of your neck as his teeth dug into your skin. A restrained moan leaving your lips as he held your arms above your head. Lips crashing into yours hard as his tongue laced with yours effortlessly, both of your moans getting lost against each other’s tongue. The mixture of both of your poisons melting as his tongue massaged yours . Fuck he was pissed he came here with a date yet here you were , under normal circumstances there’s no way . No way you’d be caught dead in your louboutins in a supply closet at a party! At least not one like this it was too risky. Correction there’s one reason ..well ...person you’d do it for regardless....Kim Taehyung.

While your oversized faux fur coat draped over your tiny black bodycon strapless dress. Which we currently hicked above your waist “Maybeeeee” your words coming out sing song like as you teased his bottom lip with your tongue. You were drunk and horny and kinda starting trouble , your father was in a alliance with his. Neither of them honestly too fond of each other but each party needed one another. The two of you butted heads constantly but for some reason frequently ended up in situations like this. On a night like tonight you should be with your guards granted you could handle your own. But you couldn’t resist and for some reason no matter how much you argued you trusted this man with your life . “Shut the fuck up” his tone was low and calm and all it did was fire you up . “Why don’t you make me baby...” your tone was sultry as he growled bitting down on your ear, you knew what that name did to him . Swiftly using one hand to keep yours restrained he brought his dominant hand down, romancing your body painfully slow . As if you guys weren’t in a damn supply close “Careful I May not have the safety on ...” you teased with a smirk as your tongue ran along your teeth . That earned a low chuckle which only turned you on even more as he still kept the same pace .

Finally bringing his hand up to stroke your cheek before you felt his thumb graze your bottom lip. Flicking the skin with your teeth before he slid two fingers in your mouth . Faint moans left your lips as you sucked and agonizing ones left his as he watched. Suddenly pulling hem out his fingers circled your clit which was already soaked . You weren’t wearing underwear which was no shock to him . “Babyyy...” you whined as your arched into his touch you could hear how wet you were . The sound of your juices running down your thighs “fuck I almost forgot how wet your Pussy gets for me ...you missed my dick princess ? Hmm ?” His tone was menacing as he kicked his brow up in amusement at the state you were in . But he could only take so much himself, removing his hand from your clit causing you to whine at the loss of stimulation.

Freeing himself from his black fitted dress pants, taking his already hard member in his hand teasing your entrance. Which only made you wanna arch into him more which caused his grip on your wrist to tighten. Locking his eyes with yours “I know daddy lets you run shit but I don’t ...I’ll slide in when I feel like it . Stop...” rocking his hips into you gently as your jaw clenched and your eyes got lower as you felt him finally start to stretch you the way you needed . “Being...” sliding in a tiny bit further. Still not breaking eye contact “A fucking ...” this time he slid out now only teasing your entrance . You watched his nostrils flare in all honesty he needed you just as bad . “..Brat!” It spit out low and harsh as he slid into you fully. Almost making your knees buckle as your walls contracted around him. “Fuckkkk Tae...fuck...” it almost felt like you couldn’t breathe having him stationary like that , you were milking him even without trying ! Bringing his lips over to your jaw kissing down your neck. “Stop whining baby , you know I always take care of you . You just gotta give me a minute , your Pussys squeezing me so fucking good if I move I’ll come. “ Letting his lips over over yours breath already raged as your rocked against him “so fucking come...we both know I’m the only one that can make you come twice in a row!”

Full thing! - as of 1/2 - yeah I changed the name lol

http://shesawriter39049.tumblr.com/post/181665408324/family-ties-kim-taehyung-mature-mafia-au-part

Update : lol about 5 mins after I posted this a song by one of the only other Koop groups I follow came on. I’d name this series if I did it Monster (yes as in the EXO song) it fits the dynamic that came to mind for both Y/N and Tae once I started writing

Update #2 : Well fuck lol I guess I will get working on this especially while I have 1 million ideas flowing! I think we all subconsciously feel like he has a aggressive switch which is such a contrast to his lovable pretty face. And I’m not talking about dramatically like he did in the music video I mean I think we all feel like Tae will be the type to straight face ..knock somebody out if they got outta line . You just wouldn’t expect that from looking at how attractive and how well put together he is and I think that’s the appeal for people really liking him in these type of AUs ! This is my genre though besides smut suspense thriller murder mystery ...action I guess more than just college he said she said it is actually what I naturally could write about for days. I’m not promising this could become a multiple unit series . As I still have two that I need to find time to finish between being an adult and working my ass off and traveling LOL...but I will at least bring this to a full thing

[builder051]

It just snowed again here lol so I feel the cold. Could you do a fic where Jason gets locked out of the apartment/apartment building (my apartment building has doors outside that you go through and if you don’t have the key you’re fucked) and Colby finds him? Maybe hypothermia for Jason?

The first day of the new semester is dedicated to working out kinks.  Jason knows that.  He doesn’t expect to receive any homework as he waltzes around campus, every class releasing early after a casual overview of the syllabus.  

One benefit of being a halfway through his junior year is the lighter schedule.  He’s only on campus twice a week now, but, as he’s quickly learning, the aforementioned lightness is subjective.  Tuesdays and Thursdays have him running from seminar to lecture to lab from 8 in the morning to 5 at night.  And those are start times.  It’s well past 7 when he finally trudges back to his car to drive home.  

“Flop day, my ass,” Jason mutters, turning on the radio and scanning until he finds something that isn’t a commercial.  He’d been irrationally proud of himself this morning, learning before the school day even commenced.  When I’m a teacher, he’d written across the top of the first page of a fresh spiral notebook, don’t start coursework on first day.  Set expectations.  Expect schedule changes.  Then he’d missed the professor’s introduction because he was too busy beating himself up over the two iterations of the word “expect” so close together.  

Jason can’t believe how tired he is.  Some of it is misinformation, his brain attempting to process his surroundings and doing it badly.  It’s barely past the dinner hour, but dark enough to be midnight.  He may not have any reading to do when he gets home, but he’s still been gone for more than 8 hours.  Exhaustion is a natural response, even if it isn’t helpful or expected.  

A flutter of panic runs through his stomach as he thinks of what’s in store for him tomorrow.  He’s starting his first run of student teaching, meeting his mentor and the principal of the local high school bright and early tomorrow morning.  Will he be able to get enough sleep?  It’s so late…

No, he reminds himself.  It’s not.  The car clock says it’s 7:26.  Twelve hours before he has to be somewhere again.  Twelve hours, what a relief.  Or should he be thinking only 12 hours?  Is that really enough time?  Does he have a shirt to wear that isn’t horribly wrinkled?  There’s enough time to iron, isn’t there?  Do they even have an iron?

And so it goes.  For almost half an hour.  Traffic is stop-and-go, a mix of late commuters and folks on their way to and from the smattering of restaurants ringing the campus.  Jason thinks about stopping to pick up something to eat, but he lacks the motivation to even pull into a drive-thru.  He’ll have to watch that.  make sure it doesn’t become a habit.

Eventually Jason reaches the parking lot of the apartment complex.  He pulls his Corolla besides Mike’s frosty Rav-4, proof that she’s been home for hours already.  If only he could count on her to cook dinner.  He laughs to himself, wishing Colby was the one who got off mid-afternoon.  But alas, his partner is stuck in the awkward phase of proving himself and working long shifts in between the holiday and regular retail seasons, while his stubborn sister is inside, probably reading with headphones on and oblivious to Jason’s imminent arrival.  Jason shakes his head.  At least Mike doesn’t take up much space.

He slings his bag over his shoulder and runs toward the building, skidding slightly on the ice around the edges of the lot.  He swipes the RFID fob on his keyring across the sensor situated on the other side of the glass door.  Jason doesn’t hear the requisite beep, but he assumes his chattering teeth have just drowned out the soft sound.  He hadn’t thought he’d need gloves and a hat when the only time he’d be spending outside would be spent walking briskly, but he wishes he had them now.  He reaches for the door handle and yanks, but it stays resolutely shut.

“The hell?” Jason mutters.  He swipes his keyring again, listening closely.  Again he hears only silence.  “Hm.”  He cups his hands around his eyes like binoculars and looks through the glass, trying to find the source of the problem.  It’s hard to see in the dark, but the kiosk with the sensor seems to be glowing with its usual pinprick of orange light.  

Jason swipes a third time, looking and listening this time.  Still nothing.  He gives the door a good smack with the pinky side of his fist.  The warm brightness shakes, and the jagged edges of something papery tremble into existence.  A leaf or a gum wrapper or something, trapped between the glass and the sensor, perfectly positioned to interrupt whatever invisible means the key fob uses to communicate with the kiosk.  

“Ugh.  Fuck.”  Jason smacks the door again, then stupidly pulls on the handle.  Hitting it won’t unlock it, he knows.  But the situation is frustrating.  Jason looses a few more choice words, then slowly pulls in a deep breath.  He blows out a cloud of steam.

There is a simple solution, though it’s mortifying.  Jason digs in his pocket for his phone to call Mike and ask to be let in.  He feels like a dog scratching at the door.  He taps his phone’s dark screen, but nothing happens.  At first he wonders if his mind is playing tricks again, since the door just pulled the same one, but then the realization hits him and his stomach turns to a bucket of ice.  He ran out of battery before stepping into his last class.  

It’s his own fault for leaving his headphones plugged in with Pandora streaming for an entire class period.  Jason tells himself he’ll carry a charger with him at all times from now on, but it does nothing to fix the current problem.  “God fucking dammit, Mike!” he yells, pacing back and forth in front of the door.  “Decide to go check the mail or something!”  

But she won’t.  Jason knows she won’t.  Mike is… lazy is the wrong word, but Jason’s shivering seems to be interrupting his thoughts with sharp spikes like those produced by a seismograph.  Sparing.  That’s more accurate.  If something isn’t her problem, she’ won’t volunteer to make it her problem.  Once she’s safely in the apartment for the night, there’s little chance Mike will step out of her bedroom, let alone the front door.  

They originally chose this complex for its safety features, but now Jason hates them.  The 10-foot brick wall surrounding the grid of row houses is too steep to scale, and if he tries, he’ll only mangle his fingers.  He imagines drops of blood running down his palms and freezing before they hit the ground.  Jason feels faintly nauseated.  If he pukes, that will probably freeze, too.  At least his stomach is empty.  

He wonders vaguely how long it takes to starve to death.  Then how long it takes to die of exposure.  If he gets back in his car, he might be warmer, but he’ll have to run the engine to run the heater.  Jason’s gas tank is rarely over half full, and today topping up was another activity on the list to do later.  Plus, people are more likely to see him up here by the door.  Someone will come in or out soon.  

It’s still early.  Right?  Jason checks his watch.  It’s almost 8.  Time for… what do they watch on Tuesdays?  He’s too cold.  He can’t think.  He bounces on the balls of his feet, vocalizing indistinctly and listening to his pitch change as it bounces off the glass and echoes back at him.

“What the hell are you doing?” a muffled voice asks.

Jason spins around to see a tall, slender figure, almost unrecognizable under a hat, scarf, and shabby parka.

“Ohmygod.” Jason feels faint with relief.  He trips toward Colby, unintentionally tackling him and sending him ass-first onto the pavement.  

“Whoa, ok.”  Colby says, his voice halfway between amused and concerned.  “Good to see you too.”  He clasps Jason’s hands between his mittens.  “What’cha doing out here?  Besides trying to give me a concussion”

“Freezing to death,” Jason breathes, burying his nose in Colby’s shoulder.

“You lose your keys or something?  Did you walk here?”  Colby looks around wildly.

“No,” Jason says, trying to determine if it’s worth it to explain.  His brain gets hung up halfway through.  “Did you walk here?”

“Nah, Gil dropped me off halfway down the block,” Colby says.  He uses his thumb to stroke Jason’s red nose.  “Who are you and what did you do with my boyfriend?  Since when are you worried about me before you’re worried about you?  Not that, like, that’s a bad thing.  It’s just a ‘you’ thing.”

“Sheesh.”  Jason tries to roll his eyes, but he feels faint again.  

“Here, let’s go inside.”  Colby starts to pull him up.

“No, you gotta, um, you gotta…”  Jason can’t stop stuttering.  “You gotta call Mike.”

“Why?”  Colby looks at him like he’s gone nuts.

“Don’t ask.  Long story.”  It’s not actually that long, but Jason shakes his head anyway.  “Just do it.”

“Ok?”  Colby takes off one mitten and pulls his phone out of his coat pocket.  “But I get the full explanation later, right?”

“Yeah,” Jason agrees without thinking.  “But call her fast.  I’m fucking cold.”

“You know, I would have never guessed,” Colby laughs as he dials and holds the device to his ear.

[dreamca7cher]

Dreamcatcher Dream of US in LA Fanmeet write-up

Hello friends! I have enjoyed reading fanmeet write-ups from others in the past, so I figured that those who weren’t able to go might like to give this a read. *Disclaimer* this is ridiculously long, It was actually about twice as long before I condensed and edited. I’ve had a week now to supplement my memory with the fancams and photos that have been trickling out, but I do apologize if I’ve misremembered or left anything out.

I basically jumped at the chance to attend kcon as soon as I read that Dreamcatcher would be there. I was lucky to get some good P1 seats with 2 other kpop-loving friends. At first I was a little bummed that DC was billed as a special guest, which meant they would not be doing any official kcon “artist engagement” activities like hi-touch. But then news of their solo LA fan meeting was announced and I was absolutely ecstatic. It just so happened that my flight was scheduled to arrive early enough Friday to make it to the fanmeet venue just in time.  On the day tickets were to go on sale, I barely got anything done at work and watched my computer clock like a hawk, refreshing the site every millisecond, ten seconds before ticket sales opened. Fortunately, I was lucky to secure one of the 125 seated spots. This would be my first in-person experience of any kind concerning kpop, so I was insanely excited and simultaneously nervous af.

I arrived at the venue about 15 minutes before it was scheduled to start and saw a decent line around this real hole-in-the-wall looking place. The people in line said it was for the seated spots, which surprised me. I thought there would be more standing than seated positions, but it turns out there were only maybe 10-15 people standing. It was hot as balls out there, and we were standing directly in the sun so we were all quickly drenched in sweat. I learned later that the girls had actually arrived earlier in a black van in front of the venue. I was probably still in transit at that time, but it must have been nice for the fans already standing in line to get that first glimpse of them! When we finally made it inside, the staff checked our names off a list and we were able to sign a giant American flag that the girls would hold later for a group picture. The fans who did not bring their own album to be signed were given a small poster. It was basically free for all seating, I was on the far right side on the last row but no matter – the venue was small enough to see everything clearly. As soon as I sat down I realized either the A/C wasn’t on.. or there was none at all. There were a few floor fans pointed at the stage, but I felt bad for the girls once they entered and I saw they were wearing sorta heavy looking tops L There was a slightly raised wooden stage in the front and a long table for them to sit at. Two tall speakers flanked the stage, but the music later wasn’t too loud. The crowd was ethnically diverse and probably around a 50%-50% gender split, proving Dreamcatcher’s wide appeal to all sorts of fans. It was however a much older crowd than the average makeup of the kcon attendees, as this was not a boy group.

The girls soon entered, which was such a surreal moment. It was almost like I couldn’t believe they were real people ya know? Having only watched them on video, it’s more like you’re watching a fictional movie sometimes. I know it’s cliché, but they really are sooo much prettier in person. I think they did look a little tired and/or nervous, but their smiles were illuminating and they did little fan service gestures whenever possible. They did their standard introduction with JiU speaking the most as leader, with small remarks like how hot it was and that it was nice to meet all of us. I thought Yoohyeon would speak the most, but she was probably nervous to use her English with us. The event went straight into the fan-signing with rows lining up one by one while the crowd was free to take pictures/videos. There are much better quality videos out there from the front, but I’ll post my crappy phone videos in case anyone wants to see from the right-hand perspective. I apologize for any shaking, as tripods were not allowed. The signing was fairly quick, everyone had just about enough time for each of the girls to sign their album or poster and maybe exchange a sentence or two.

I was one of like the last 4 people to go since I was at the back, and by this point my adrenaline was going crazy. I’ve never fainted before, but if there would be a time to, then that would be it. I didn’t know if this was strictly allowed, but I did see a few fans high five the members. I refrained however because then that would mean I could never wash that hand (j/k I didn’t want any chance of getting kicked out). So I decided to stick to a compliment or two which I had gone over in my head again and again for a few days prior. I wrote down a longer version of what I was going to say on some notes, since that’s all we were allowed to gift the girls. I had also decided to write my notes on origami paper of their favorite colors and fold my notes into paper cranes to stand out, because I am a crazy person. The research (I got their favorite colors from an interview which I’ll post later), the writing, and the folding all took much long than I anticipated which resulted in me only getting 1 hour of sleep Thursday night before my early flight. So this all culminated in a peak state of nervousness. All too soon it was my turn! I won’t go into what exactly I said or what was in my notes, it was just basically a compliment or encouragement. SuA was first, she waved and said hi as I approached. She was consistently the most hyper and playful that day, possibly because it was her birthday. She seemed really genuine too, and seemed the most relaxed I think. Handong was second, she was predictably shy, but was very appreciative of the crane and said it was cute. Her signature is the most unique too. I wrote some really crappy Chinese in my note that I hope she could read haha.. Next was Siyeon, she looked a bit tired, but she was hella pulling off the dark concept look with her black hair and colored contacts. She also spoke a lot of English that day, even if it wasn’t complete sentences like Yoohyeon. I think previous reports are accurate too, she was very quirky with her mannerisms. JiU was in the middle, and was positively glowing  :O she was smiling pretty much the whole time and I think even picked up the crane and flapped it around a little adorably. It was hard not to grin widely as well the whole time. Idk JiU just has this like unlimited energy that shines no matter how hot or tired she was. I pictured her as like a Super Saiyan or something with her positive aura. Yoohyeon was next and also looked a little tired. But she said a few things in English to me, and had an absolutely gorgeous smile. I haven’t 100% settled on a bias yet, but girl makes it hard to not choose her. Gahyeon was 6th and actually was saying a lot of things in English. She also seemed to like the crane a lot and has a really cute smile. Dami was last, and was so cool and reserved. She’s really good at the appreciative head nod, no wonder she seemed to be the most popular that day. I forgot to tell all of them that the cranes were actually notes they could unfold and read, I may have told 2-3 of them but I’m not sure if they understood. Ah well. The whole signing probably only lasted a couple minutes, but seeing them up close and actually chatting with them is something I will never forget. After the staff also got their signatures, they moved the big table so the girls could perform.

First up was You and I, and boy was it a sight to behold in person. Their movements were so sharp and energetic, and it’s probably my favorite choreography of any kpop song. They just lip-synced which is ok, since it let me focus on the dance. Dami’s baton reveal probably got the loudest cheer, it was really awesome to see up close, and she does it so nonchalantly. Siyeon’s scarf throw also got a loud cheer. SuA definitely had the most powerful dancing, as expected.  I didn’t know all the fanchants, but the other InSomnias obliged well. The girls sprinkled in little hearts and waves to the audience throughout the performance. Right after, they performed Full Moon, which was a very nice gift to the American InSomnias  :] The chest pumping part probably had the loudest cheers, as it was the fiercest part of the choreo. During Dami’s solo rap part, she came up real close and waved to everyone, which also brought lots of cheers. The part where SuA and Handong get dragged across the floor was also popular for some reason. I haven’t watched as many fancams of Full Moon, but I really like the choreo, especially Siyeon’s parts. She rules that performance with her movements and expressions.

After the performance, the girls played a question and answer game from a board made up of stick notes that the crowd had written earlier (via translator). The first question I think was for SuA to do a solo funny dance. She asked “no music?” and Siyeon tried to do beatboxing and failed hard hahaha. So Yoohyeon sang to and SuA did a short hilarious dance to Dame Tu Cosita before collapsing in embarrassment. It was so adorable XD the 2nd question was what was the girls favorite Dreamcatcher song. SuA said Mayday, and sang her part a bit. The next question was “what’s it like performing for fans who don’t speak Korean and understand the lyrics?” Handong said that there was nonetheless a connection and that she was surprised and thankful that fans still sing along to the songs. SuA also said we felt like family, sister, brother, mother, father.. lol. The next question was what is your favorite choreography/point move? JiU said she likes the “baby you and I” part of You and I, and Yoohyeon likes the Chase Me part where they grab their hair lol. SuA likes the kiss blowing parts, and Siyeon likes when the members are dragged in Full Moon (probably because it’s not her being dragged haha). Then there was a question about superpowers, and Gahyeon said teleportation and JiU said she never wanted to get tired so she could always meet her fans, like the perfect leader she is. Siyeon said “you already do that” lol. Then Dami was asked how the baton worked, which I’m sure we all have always wondered. It’s basically like a spring-loaded telescoping thing held by a cap. Super cool, and got a resounding applause. Next was one of the more anticipated questions “which member would you marry?” and SuA immediately stood up lol. Siyeon took the mic and said JiU, because she makes really cute noises when she sleeps, revealing her creeper status lolol. Siyeon asked “will you marry me” and JiU said “oooh, yes” lmao. The next question was who has the best legs, to which Yoohyeon crossed her legs expectantly. But then she said she thought Handong has the best legs and asked her to stand up, which she did! Doing some model poses for us, very uncharacteristically ^^ JiU also said Handong has the straightest legs. Then Dami was asked to do some aegyo! Haha poor Dami, she chose to say “hi, nice to meet you, thank you” very adorably. The girls were then asked what songs they listen to in their personal time. SuA is currently obsessed with This is America and did the iconic gun pose lol. Siyeon likes Ariana Grande, and sang some No Tears Left to Cry. They were then asked what artists they want to collaborate with, and Yoohyeon said Day6 which got a big cheer. I also love Day6, and that would be such a match made in heaven! She also beautifully sang a little bit of Letting Go. Siyeon said she wanted to cover Sean Mendes Treat You Better and SuA wanted to do a Taylor Swift song. They were asked about actors they want to meet in LA, and they said the Avengers lol. I think they visited Hollywood Boulevard and said they kinda felt like they met them because there were people dressed up in costumes. Gahyeon also wanted to meet Daniel Henney because he lives in LA. Then JiU said I want to meet my fans with this huge dorky smile lol. The next question was about any future America tour plans, and JiU said of course, and asked us to visit them again next time. They were then asked who their other favorite kpop group was, and JiU said Red Velvet. Yoohyeon asked if she could dance a little bit, so JiU cutely danced to Bad Boy briefly. Siyeon also said KARD. They were asked what their favorite part of LA was, and SuA said she really liked In-N-Out burger and that it was yummy, specifically combo #3 lol. She also wanted to ride rides at Santa Monica and swim, to which Siyeon reminded her that she can’t swim lmao. The last question was about their favorite quotes. Dami’s motto is “in life there are no answers, so do what makes you happy”. JiU said “let’s live happy”, which she definitely exudes all the time ^^. Also that we were all beautiful and smart enough, so to live a happy life. Yoohyeon said that her mom always said to her “if you have a dream, imagine it will happen, and it will be”. Lastly, the girls took a group photo with all three of the sections, holding the American flag we signed earlier. JiU closed out with thanks and a promise they would see us again. SuA said thank you for celebrating my birthday, and Handong said thank you for your passion. Then the staff brought out a birthday cake and we surprised SuA by singing happy birthday. She looked so happy the entire time, and  even did a little moonwalk haha. Dami did one last tour around the crowd waving to everyone, and that was it.

And the rest of the weekend was downhill! J/k the kcon stages were amazing, and I saw them again multiple times at the convention, but the fanmeet was of course the highlight of the trip. As my first in-person kpop experience, this will definitely be hard to top. I vaguely wondered before the fanmeet if finally meeting them in person would diminish my perfect image of them in my head, but actually the opposite is true. Now they feel like real people I know, which just makes me like them even more. I was also very proud of the American InSomnias, everyone was respectful, there were no crazy incidents, no one had to be thrown out by security, it just went as smooth as can be. I also want to thank 7-dreamers for organizing this whole thing, and for the smooth operation. I could talk forever about my experiences, but I will end it here. Maybe I’ll do a write-up of the convention and concert if anyone’s interested? Thanks for reading!