#i fUKIN CHOKED

[kuni-is-daddy]

Thinking about toji

Tw: k!dnapping, K!LLING

YANDERE? TOJI X GN JJK SORCERER READER SMUT.

MINORS DNI. MENTIONS BLOOD, CHOKING.

"Megumi.. baby?"toji said with a cracked voice "Yes papa?" "Get a nice job and make papa some money okAy.?"😃👁️👄👁️

Get this, your a jujutsu sorcerer. Your on his list and your so dam FINE. He kidnaps you instead of killing you.

Yeah sure toji loves him some money but how about he makes you his new househusband/wife?

Fucking you over the table while you make meals, his body is so FUCKING big compared to yours.

"cum all over my fukin' cock for me doll. F-fuck yeah just like that. Milk this cock"

You tried to escape a couple times or even attempted to kill him but that just ends up on you being his personal cock sleeve for the night. As he drills into you non stop no matter what you say until you pass out

"oh? Yah fucking sorry now huh? Want me to be gentle with you baby?" He would mock you, grab your throat and rub gently with his thumb on the bone with his big veiny hands. "Daddy's not gonna stop..mhmm shh shh stop crying. Stop fucking crying. Daddy's gonna fuck you well and your gonna stay with me mkay.." he'd slap your ass and tell you to stop moving your thighs so he could go balls deep inside of you. "Aww you can't breathe doll? Mmm but I bet you feel so FUCKING good on this cock right.. look at that bulge in ur belly baby. My cock fits you so well. Ah~ fuck me doll. Just like that.."

You even tried domain expansion but it was no use. As the sky turned pitched black when you turned around from running deep in the forest with him chasing after you and Shinto shrines began to form from it. He lunged at you, leaving your expansion incomplete as you went to dodge. Of course.. toji fucked you last night so your legs gave out and he knocked you out and picked you up bridal style. The faint smell of blood lingered from your nose.

You awoke to your hands and legs tied on a chair.

Toji was snickering under his breath. "I like you y/n. You keep me moving doll, this little fucking game of cat and mouse is getting tiring though. It's as if no matter how much i make you feel at home. And fuck you, you won't fucking stop. Annoying. Me-."

"mmm papa.. it's time for my m-medicine" poor little megumi had to come downstairs and see his "new momma/papa" all tied up and bleeding. He still gave a blank stare as if he was use to this. One day after prepping dinner toji came late and before that megumi mentioned how you we're the first one "Papa liked and hasn't got rid of" "yeah.. my real mommy. She died. But I heard papa saying earlier you we're really pwetty(pretty) and he is right! Your a great pawrent (parent) papa should be nice to you though.."

Flash forward. Toji sighed. What the hell has his life come too. He uses you like a cocksleve and cant even afford his son's medication.

Maybe he should change. Or maybe, you should change him.

The next day toji didn't touch you. He made breakfast for the 3 of you. It was awkward considering how you we're always tied up for "family meals" and your cursed objects we're locked away. But after what megumi said about his mom. You stopped trying to fight back. Or at least that's what toji thought...

Part 2?

[whatyadrawin]

The Fruit After the Flesh 18+ -Chapter 12-

Minors DNI!

Masterlist

Approximately 2,084 words

Pairing: Thomas Hewitt (Headcanon) x AFAB reader

This chapters Warnings:  Sexual language, foul language, use of a slur, violence, IMAGES DEPICTING BLOOD (no gore). This is Slasher smut, be mindful of that and use your discretion.

A/n: This short chapter straight up flew at my brain immediately following the last chapter. The end of this chapter had me feeling very cocky lol, its probably cringe but its free. LET ME KNOW IF YOU GIGGLED AND KICKED YOUR FEET AT THE LAST SENTENCE. I tried to rush out the art so please don't be too ruthless about it being sloppy, I just wanted to get this chapter out for you all to read ASAP. Let me know if you want to be in the tag list. I update chapter progress on the masterlist whenever something changes.

Please enjoy this chapter! I worked very hard on it so reblogs, comments, and likes are appreciated very much.

Tag List: @fan-goddess , @artxasa , @baybaybear1 , @amour-tae

Chapter 12

                The night air filled your lungs, you were doubled over trying to regain consciousness after being choked by Dover. Your body was covered in dirt, nothing but a bra and underwear were protecting you from the elements; once you caught your breath you slowly got up, you heard screams followed by the sound of a chainsaw. You turned to look around and saw Dover crawling away from a large man wielding the source of the rattling engine.

You walked closer to the scene unfolding in front of you, only to realize that the one standing before Dover was none other than Tommy. You watch as Tommy stomps on one of Dover’s legs, you hear it snap from the bone breaking on impact, Dover screams in pain and pleads for his life,

“Please, PLEASE! I promise t’leave n’ never come back if y’let me go, Im beggin’ ya!”

Tommy didn’t respond, he just stood there revving the motor of the chainsaw, smoke billowed out of the exhaust swirling around him. You call out,

“Tommy! Wait!”

He turns around to look at you, his expression was unlike any you had ever seen him make, he looked possessed. Tommy wasn’t in there at that moment, it was something else, a demon. Dover took the opportunity of Tommy looking away to get up and limp off as fast as he could, he still had the large knife in his hand from when he was in the hole. Tommy turned around and slowly followed Dover as he tried to escape, you followed them both.

Dover managed to hide among the trees, Tommy was searching for him as if it were a twisted game of hide-and-seek. Tommy circled around, thrusting the chainsaw into bushes and breathing heavily, he looked through the bush he just cut through. Dover popped up behind him and jammed the knife deep into Tommy’s back, he let out an otherworldly roar, not of pain but rather frustration at being bested. Tommy spun around but Dover was hiding again, you followed closely hoping to call Tommy off so you could both get to safety.

You felt an arm circle around your torso, it was Dover, he had captured you and held the knife to your throat as he held back your arm,

“Hey freak!” He called out to Tommy, “If y’don’t fuck off, then yer little whore gets sliced up!”

Tommy spun around, now he was raging and furious, Dover pulled you with him as he walked backwards, his movements stopped when you heard a click,

“Don’t fukin’ move shit heel” You heard Charlie’s voice,

“Let her go or I blow what little brains you got out your fuckin’ nose.” His voice was even tempered and stern.

Dover released you from his grip, you pushed off of him and ran behind Charlie who was holding a pistol against the back of Dover’s head. Dover put his hands up, Charlie lowered the gun and smirked,

“Now run, little piggy.”

Dover bolted, his broken leg was slowing him down but he pushed through the pain to get away, yelping with each step. Charlie looked at Tommy and smirked,

“Kill him.”

Tommy let out a low growl as he raised the chainsaw forward and sprinted after Dover; Charlie grabbed your arm and started walking you away from the direction Tommy went, he asked,

“You hurt girlie?”

You don’t answer the question and instead say,

“I don’t want to leave Tommy!”

Charlie continues to pull you away, ensuring you couldn’t turn to look,

“Don’t worry ‘bout him, you hurt?” He asks.

You reply, “I’m in pain but, I think I’m ok.”

The sound of a blood curdling scream is heard in the distance, it was met with the sound of the roaring chainsaw cutting through something, you knew what was happening but you couldn’t believe that it was real.

You finally made it to the house and the chainsaw sound had ceased so you knew whatever happened was over. When you get inside, Luda Mae runs to hold you, she looks over your body and brings you over to the parlor where she had a tub of warm water with a washcloth and some gauze,

“Oh god you poor thing, I’m so glad you’re ok. Come here n’ let me clean you up.”

You sit on the couch and she dumps the cloth in the warm water, she rinses the dirt off your skin and begins to look over your body for wounds. You just sat there unable to do anything, you were in a state of bewilderment at the string of events that took place. Luda Mae puts a blanket over you and give you a glass of water then goes to speak to Charlie; they both start speaking quietly. You drink the water and blankly stare at a spot on the rug, your mind began to quiet, you felt like shock was setting in.

Your trance is broken by the sound of the front door opening, Luda Mae calls out,

“Oh, my boy, my sweet, sweet boy, I’m so sorry you had to do that again. Are you hurt?” you could hear the worry in her voice.

You fling the blanket off you and run towards the door, the sight you were met with sent a shiver down your spine. Tommy was covered in blood and his eyes had a distant look to them, a zombie-like expression plastered on his face.

“Tommy?” you were unsure if it was really him, you had never seen him like that before.

You walk up to him and take his hand in yours; he doesn’t even look at you, he slowly walks past you and heads to the basement door, his breathing was heavy and he made a low, animalistic growl as he moved.

You ask, “What’s wrong with him?”

Charlie looks at you, then he looks at Luda Mae,

He says, “He gets like this after a kill, just leave him be.”

“What? So, he really has done it before…” you mumbled.

You went to your room to grab a first aid kit and made your way back to the basement door to go look after him,

Charlie tries to stop you, “Stay away from him girly, if you know what’s good.”

You ignore him and shut the door behind you, following the drops of blood down the stairs.

The trail leads to Tommy’s room, you take a deep breath and open the door. You see Tommy sitting on the bed staring off into nothing, he doesn’t even acknowledge your presence, the room is dark and he is illuminated only by the red of the light outside his door. You walk up to him slowly; he was now breathing steadily but the breaths were slow and full. You turn on the light that was sitting on his nightstand, he still doesn’t move, you get up on his bed to check the wound on his back, its deep and slowly oozing blood.

You leave his bedroom to grab a bucket and wash cloth from the laundry room, when you get back, Tommy was still unmoved and had a thousand-yard stare. You place the bucket next to him and sit on the bed, you begin to gently wash off the blood from the wound, you sigh as you see it needs a gauze bandage but Tommy is covered in blood and needs to be cleaned before you dress any wounds.

You slowly remove the shirt he had on, it was once white, but now was stained a dark red, you unbuckle his pants but are unable to pull them off since he was sitting. You decide to get his mask off so he could breathe better and wash his face. You slowly pull the mask off but before you could get a good look, Tommy grabs your wrists and throws you onto the bed. He gets up and crawls over top of you, pinning your wrists down, you try to struggle out of it but he has a firm grasp on you and his massive body engulfs yours, you look at his face and see the damage from his past. Tommy is missing skin on one side of his face so badly that his teeth are clearly visible, he lets out a deafening roar, his face inches away from yours and you scream in fear. It was like having a bear attacking you, he was not himself, he was barely acting human. You didn’t care, you knew he needed help,

“Tommy stop! It’s me!” you pleaded with him hoping he could calm down a bit,

“I just want to help! You’re hurt!” you continued.

Tommy was breathing heavily, his eyes slowly started to focus and his pupils became visible again, he immediately let go of you and got off your body. You let out a sigh of relief and sat up,

“Let’s get you to the shower, come on.” You took his hand and pulled him to the bathroom near the laundry area.

He followed you willingly, holding onto your hand firmly. When you got to the bathroom, you turned on the tub faucet and plugged the drain so it would fill with hot water. You took off Tommys pants and stopped before you went to remove his undergarment,

“Tommy, can you take off your underwear and get into the tub for me?” you asked in a hushed tone.

Despite the circumstances, you still wanted to give him some respect and autonomy. You turned your head to look away as he removed his underwear, when you heard him get into the tub you turned back around. A bar of soap was on the wall ledge, the tub itself was a massive claw foot tub and had a lot of space around it, you sat yourself behind his head, wet the soap in the water, and started rubbing suds into his hair. Tommy let out a long sigh, he was starting to return to his normal behavior,

You say, “Thank you for saving me back there.”

He shakes his head, “I didn’t keep you safe.”

You lean over to look at him, “How could you have?”

He sinks into the water slowly and replies,

“I should’ve been there to stop him from takin’ you.”

You furl your eyebrows and follow,

“If you didn’t come when you did, I wouldn’t be alive right now, you saved my life.”

He lets out a long breath and says,

“Nothin' bad’s gon’ happen to you ever again. I promise.”

“You can’t promise that, you won’t always be there when bad things happen. You're only human.” Your words were sincere.

He washed the rest of the blood off his body and face, then sat up and turned his head to you, he said,

“I ain’t human.”

You laugh, “What are you then?”

He looks away and thinks,

“I dunno, a monster I guess, least that’s what everyone calls me.”

You feel a wave of sadness wash over you, he continues,

“Everyone was always runnin’ n’ screamin’ when they saw me, yellin’ ‘Monster!’”

You put the soap down and get up to position yourself next to him, you gently pull his face to look at yours and say,

“Am I screaming and running?”

He shakes his head, “Why not? I ain’t no prince, n' that’s what you deserve.”

You move in and kiss his cheek, then say, “Because I love you.”

His eyes grew wide, “You serious?” he asks.

You nod your head and smile,

he sits up and pulls you into the water, you squeal and laugh. Your back is rested on his chest and he gives you a tight bear hug from behind. You spin around to look at him, you pour water on his head to rinse the suds off, his hair hangs over his face like a wet dog and it makes you laugh. He smiles and pulls you in for another kiss, you reciprocate and he holds you in place with both arms around you. You pull back and laugh as you push his hair away from his face. You both kiss passionately in the bathtub, water swirling with Dover’s blood, the suds bubbling and floating around you both, making quiet little pops as they dry out in the air.

You were so fried from the events that just took place, the pain in your face from being punched and slapped didn’t affect you yet. Tommy may have a monstrous past, and the face many would flee from, but his arms were a castle, and he, your prince.

Next chapter-

[ohtobearandomftblog]

guess what more headcanons but this time lacrimas and i dont think its long enough for a read more

lacrima are used for everything.

hearing aid lacrimas.

phone lacrimas.

internet lacrimas.

inhaler lacrimas.

music lacrimas.

sound-proof lacrimas.

your wheelchair has fuckin lacrimas in it.

as mentioned before most lacrimas do have electricity in em so yes if your hearing is good/if your brain doesnt tone it out you will hear them buzzing

again. internet lacrimas. theres youtube and twitch and twitter and tumblr (bc it is so difficult trying to explain how someone knows of a meme when there isnt). theyre not called tumblr etc but theyre somethin similar

laxus is Big on tumblr. he makes sure no one fucking knows it with few exceptions.

will quote “it fukin wimdy” and cana constantly chokes on her drink. she knows he knows where thats from. she fucking follows him. she KNOWS its him. she does this shit right back and he continues it.

will mutter “and now: the weather” whenever he hears music a moment before any normal mage would. this gets mirajane and she is Terrified about how he knows that. she never asks

the few times he was at the guild hall early in the day were for the tumblrsexyman polls on twitter then on tumblr. was one of the top blogs that did #cecilsweep, which made cana ask him what the fuck that was. she was quickly educated. mira did not hear but now cana also quotes wtnv and mira is, again, Terrified

most of the lamia scale/sabertooth/blue pegasus/fairy tail/etc guilds have a big twitter and most of the members have their own separate ones

non-mages treat the guild twitters like brands. it annoys most of the non-mages to no end and the mages themselves Will Block the dumbasses

teen laxus once took over the fairy tail twitter. makarov found out quickly and the damage was minimal.

teen mira then took over the fairy tail twitter and makarov Didnt find out quickly. the damages were astronomical.

the guild twitters follow all of the member twitters and sometimes retweets the more “consumer friendly” tweets. except for fairy tail. what the fuck are they gonna retweet like “just watched my friend’s exfriend kill their mutual friend who i just met on a giant lacrima that the magic council JUST shot etherion at.he wasnt very obdurate lemme tell ya” like NO

you could get lacrima implants. like a phone lacrima implanted behind your ear so long as you dont mind a big ass lump. its just a phone and like a music player unless you implant a screen lacrima between your eyes. barely anyone does this because it sounds like a scam and Why would  you do that are you really That addicted

after lucy joined fairy tail but after eisenwald she started a youtube series called “a day in the life of a new mage”. its how jude knew she joined fairy tail. she uploaded the entirety of the phantom bullshit and not only did it help soften (by maybe 20% at MOST) the magic council interrogations of fairy tail but it made jude’s business start going downhill.

people would randomly stream and upload fights natsu and gajeel were in. its how sting and rogue became their fans.

the raijinshu have their own twitch and sometimes start streaming whenever laxus starts talking about something weird. like the random noise only he hears and hes losing his mind. or when he gets really into talking music. or when he starts talking in chinese and doesnt realize it to bickslow who’s slowly turning more and more pale and starts sweating because What Is He Saying

all of the thunder legion have started streams when laxus was speaking not english to another member. currently evergreen’s started stream 14 times more than the others and freed’s been streamed 9 times more than the others. their followers keep count. freed gets so embarrassed when its mentioned again.

there was a time where someone (coughbickslowcough) accidentally started streaming and just left it on. for like four hours. it was in makarov’s living room where they were all hanging out for a bit. when the legion left laxus turned on his own music and started cleaning. chat was Shocked that there was actually barely any R&R on his playlist. he deleted the vod when he realized it was on.

laxus’s entire playlist has actually been leaked this way. chat does not know how to handle laxus listening to natewantstobattle and fucking luhan.

laxus got back at the legion for that. many times. like when he “accidentally” starts talking in another language and sees someone inching towards the shared lacrima.

all of natsu’s social media (twitter insta and twitch) are unnecessarily popular. he barely posts on the first two and has never even talked in anyones chat on twitch. he doesnt even know how people found it but whenever he tunes into cana’s drinking tournament streams he gets gifted a sub by a different person every damn time. hes a bit concerned.

gray’s is also popular but it does make sense this time because he posts a Lot. whenever he posts a picture/uploads/streams he always realizes After it uploaded/started up that oh hes shirtless when the FUCK did that happen. juvia now makes sure his shirt is on at All Times. sometimes they forget he strips his pants. thankfully no ass has been shown yet (sadly for his followers (juvia is a follower))

[blistering-typhoons]

I AM DISTRAUGHT

spoilers, massive spoilers under cut, also it's three am so-

- ALISON! PREGNANT! I'M SO, I'M FUCKING- IT'S A LOT IM SO HAPPYY

- her and mike deciding to go for gender neutral names? And mike casually saying baby cooper could change their name in the future? dead oh my god

- the 'ew thomas' count rose to dizzying heights this series, but spliced with that were genuine moments of pure joy at him also

- THOMAS SCOTTISH

- pat being impervious to alison's pranks was incredible, this man is the loml

- kitty's death made me cry, still coming to terms with eleanor's characterization, but i'm not mad

- also thomas going 'bitch' every two seconds had me shRIEKING

- clever girl

- pat and julian's whole north v south argument had me in legitimate stiches, and cap's contribution was so cute and wholesome, like a border collie

- robin this season made me cry almost every fucking time istg, i was generally a mess

- everybody! carrying humphrey about! Nice!

- walk in safe!

- kitty mimicking a pregnant alison was everything

- have to get this out before i combUST FUKIN CAPTAIN DEATH AND NAME AND FUCK YOU BEN WILLBOND

- sibling asked me to explain myself at this point and i genuinely had to collect myself for a mo i was so choked up

- fanny assuring him that he's brave

- pat's only wish to be with the others in the house

- im making a part two for this because my brain is melting so last two points

- only criticism is that it feels? oddly incomplete? i dunno, maybe my expectations were wired too specifically, but it feels lacking in some way, but ofc! There's a Christmas special still on it's way, so there could be some stuff getting fleshed out- but overall, something felt a little off but also i am an empty husk right now so

- and finally, simon's performance in the finale as julian pours his heart out to alison, the way his breath hitches at the full emotion of it and desperately trying to shoo it away- keep himself together, god that might be the finest bit of acting this whole show i'm not even fucking kidding, it rent an honest to god gasp from me, so fucking talented

[kirshimadenkisero]

things my friends have said, a collection (ft a couple quotes from shows/games) ((credits to my best friend for compiling them for me))

for privacy reasons i’ve censored the names

“Haha suck it (random name)!” (not entirely sure where this one came from so i’m guessing they’re talking about someone they know??)

“Smells like sour cream depression”

“I’m busy being gay”

“Birbs get bitches”

“Yes. I kill joe Biden”

“You simply have less value”

“You are a coffee bean”

“I will go full frog mode on your bitchass-“

“I don’t know how to eat abbles-“

(PS: he was eating a fukin pear 😀)

“WAIT- GERMAN SHEPHERDS ARE GERMAN?!”

(offers grapes) “Sure, as long as they aren’t grape flavored”

“I’m a bitch and I’m a stitch”

“My brother is immune to getting r a n o v e r b y c a r s . . .”

“He now look like a wet rat and smell like cucumber”

“Tao Su looks like British Justin Bieber”

“#LockedUpForLife”

“He put his heart and soul into that dance”

“DO I HEAR A FUCKING MICROWAVE???”

“merry birthing”

“You stole kids candy, prepare to meet Jesus”

“Material gworl💅✨🏳️‍🌈”

“I bet it was the Shrek DVD…”

“I now know what I’m gonna get you for Christmas… t h e r a p y”

“the lake is thirsty…”

“IS STEVEN JESUS?!?!”

“where did his child go???”

“You are a spineless pretzel-“

“ŠTÄÇŸ MØVË!!!”

“Hey is that plane outside my window getting bigger???”

“Kneecaps gone. Insurance? Gieco.”

“Hippty Hoppity, get off my property”

“Are you getting your clothes from the back of Spencer’s??”

“My second wish would be a Mary Poppins bag full of fresh garlic bread”

“THERE COULD ONLY BE ONE!!”

“Mice and vanilla deer fries”

“DONALD DUCK IS THAT YOU?!!?!”

“Was that a deer??”

“Steve what are you doing here?? WHY ARE YOU IN MY LUNCHBOX-“

“I’m here to sell your kidneys”

“I ŁÏVĘ ĪÑ THË WÆTĖR!”

“Excuse me. That’s my front lawn you’re talking to.”

“I DONT KNOW I CANT COUNT 🥲”

“Why don’t I have no fingers…. (friend), did you steal my fingers again???”

“That notification sound sounded delicious. Absolutely exquisite 🤌🏽”

“Is water wet???”

“Water is crazy, you can boil in it, you can drown in it, yet we need it to survive”

“That just sounded like my sisters spine at 3:00AM 💀”

“THERES POISONOUS SKUNKS. THEY’RE MULTIPLYING AAAAAAAA”

“It’s supposed to be hot cocoa but it’s looks

s u s s y-“

“2020 part 4”

“YUO MAMMA’D YOUR LAST MIA”

“Bestie, I love you but calm down about the raisins 😀”

“I'm not alive🧍🏻‍♀️”

“Bro got sent to the shadow realm-“

“Quickly, hide the stock before the landlord finds us!!”

“Make the taxidermy dance...”

“Philza, you haven’t been collecting my wood have you?”

“ITS PHILZA MINECRAFT!! HES IN MY MINECRAFT SERVER!!!”

“I DONT KNOW, GRAB A BROWNIE OR SOMETHING.”

“What the fuck is a Spinosaurus, a dinosaur with a spine???”

“Oh, it’s weed boy”

“Hippity hops, ima call the cops 😀”

“Be right back, gotta go walk my fish-“

“WHY IS THE DOOR WALKING??”

“I gotta go fold the dishes”

“You just haven’t mastered the spoon yet”

“He wouldn’t know, he’s a pencil 😄”

“Do you see the screen? Are you sure you aren’t deaf-“

“That wasn’t powder on that donut…”

“NAPOLEON III IS A PATHETIC IDIOT WHO GETS NO BITCHES”

“My sister just brought me a penguin, and it threw up crayons”

“He’s a closeted American”

“You ain’t scared of the ocean until you see a t-posing squid”

“Ah women”

“Did Youtube find out I was religious???”

“Where’s my 15% off you rip off midget dinosaur”

“It would be funny if he choked and died” (i would like to mention this was said by my friend’s teacher)

“Don’t come to the circus tomorrow Ragatha”

“No, you aren’t a loser, you’re just colorblind”

“BOMBBB-“

“Call me a triple A battery, cause I have Anxiety, ADHD, and Autism!!”

“Bro became a vacuum cleaner 😭”

“I HATE SPLASH MOUNTAINNN!1!1!!!1!!”

“Fuck it, we ball 🏀”

“IF I RUN FAST ENOUGH, THE VOICES CANT CATCH UP”

“RED ENVELOPE FROM GRANDMA!?!? THAT MEANS MONEY!!!”

“It’s called neighbors, we are allowed to have them”

“So what. He can eat spaghetti out of his eyes”

“she wishes a broken leg upon you”

“Me and my crayons can do this shit anymore”

“Swaggy animal cruelty”

“I will temporarily sue you and your family”

“Yeehaw that motherfucker”

“Oh wow, I just killed two people”

“Whitey Kitey is MAD”

“So imagine me trying to break human skin 🥰”

“John Doe is a he/him lesbian”

“He got them string cheese bangs”

“Alas, for this is an example of the pain I must go through with this curse of immortality. Though I may never have my final breath, the price is eternal suffering”

“Cause they’ll think you’re all German Nazis who are trying to do a poison delivery”

“His birthday is on April 1st. His birthday is a joke”

“I WILL BURN YOUR COOPERATION INTO THE GROUND IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO”

“IM GOING TO SKIN THE OWNER OF RITZ ALIVE”

“A woman, in her late thirties, wearing a school issued swimsuit. Worst of all, she was rocking it” - Rae Taylor

“Isn’t your life already crumbling apart”

“ITS A FORBIDDEN MIXTURE”

“IM ON THE PODIUMMMMM”

“WHAT IS THIS. I DONT SPEAK BAGUETTE”

“Peaceful yuri in the wild”

“Buddy, I’m in normal math. Compact math people are CRACKED-“

“I CAN SEE THE AUTISM IN HIS EYES”

“Bro looks both ways when he crosses the street unwillingly”

“I don’t care when you deliver them to me. Expiration dates don’t matter to me-“

“Friendship levels?? More like Yuri levels.”

“YOU BETTER FUCKING PRAY CEO OF MAX”

“Okay I admit it. I’m guilty of slave ownership”

“She sounds like a starving Victorian child 😭”

“Now go adventurer, and have this. A gun.”

“I will paper cut your eyes in your sleep”

“THEN IM GOING FOR THAT BITCHASS WHORE AUTOCORRECT”

“HER PANTS WOULD BE ON FIRE RIGHT NOWW”

“I just want to have a friendly conversation with him, me, and my gun”

“IM GONNA TURN THE OWNER OF CHICK-FIL-A INTO ROASTED CHICKEN”

“DUDE HES GOING THROUGH A MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND YOURE TALKING ABOUT TACOS”

“DAMNNIT BUBBLE I TOLD YOU THAT INVADING IRAQ WAS A BAD IDEA”

“If my dog doesn’t shut the fuck up after three strikes I will yell at her in less passive and more aggressive German.”

“Buenos días fuckboy”

“Wow, (friends name)-censorship”

“ITS NOT A PHASE MOM, BEING AN ORANGE EMO TRACK RUNNER IS MY PERSONALITY!!!!!!!1!1!1!1!”

“Oh my days, my Cheeto is turning into a cheese puff”

“I love my emo son”

“Listen, I’m not gay. That’s only on Thursdays”

“I just went up there for a bandaid and I got her toes?!!?!!”

“What did he do to deserve becoming a pretzel berry”

“I HATE YOU DREDNAW. YOU WILL BECOME AN ORPHAN ON THE STREETS”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he burned down a convenience store, but yeah he’s nice”

“No, it’s only a very late abortion”

“THIS IS WHY GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL”

“God damn it’s genetic 😨”

“It’s crustier than William Afton”

“Well, I’m gonna die anyway but red would be pretty cool”

“Not a gram of hetero blood in their veins”

“Oh the law? That’s not a thing”

“POLLINATE MY BROTHER IN HONEY”

“Do I look like I speak Beepanese?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not even legally allowed to have this-“

“He looks like if god sniffed a line of coke and then tried to recreate Squirtle from memory” (talking about chewtle)

[wakingfromthewater]

My coworkers and I have an ongoing joke about the Bible retold using only phrases my one coworker uses a lot and it's insanely dumb but it makes me choke laughing every time.

And the Lord said to Moses "WHATUP" and Moses said "It's uh, it's fukin whatever man, y'know?"

[abyssa111]

i jus saw wha u looked lik choked on my fukin spit ur so cute id be ur purse dog annyyy daayyy ahhhhhhhh

૮ ˆﻌˆ ა awww thank u sm, puppy!! <3

You can be my purse dog and I can carry u around like an accessory ^^ but also we sooooo could be puppie pals!! The sweetest and cutest puppie ૮ ꈍﻌ ꈍა♡੯ᴖ໒꒱ we could take over da world togetha probz :3

[yourlocalearthling]

N-y-m-p-h-o-l-o-g-y

Me: *vibing* Melanie: "Stick you're 👃into you're mouth" Me: *mixed emotions*

Lmaoooo Melanie must have been very upset when she was writing this song cause like-😭 Its no longer D-O-L-L-H-O-U-S-E it's now N-Y-M-P-H-O-L-O-G-Y

◇Lyrics◇

V1

Call me, you're nymph

Praise me for martyr, praise me for sin

Call me, you're muse A sprite or an elf you cry to then use

I will not suffer, (ah-ah)

Cry under covers (ah-ah)

Im not you're mother (ah-ah) ah-ah~

Chorus

It's nyphology, not psychology

Be the manic pixie dream girl that you Fukin' ought to be

Damaged oddity, bought by sothebys

Auctioned to a selfish man who thinks that he's the prophesy

You can't even spell but you're an 'expert' in nyphology

N-y-m-p-h-o-l-o-g-y, that's nyphology

V2

I'm not fiction, I'm not fae, I won't like you're wounds today

But I'll throw you in the ring

Get you with my suffering

I'm not crazy, I'm not wild you're just stupid, little child

Get you're image off my back. I'll give you a heart attack

I will not suffer, (ah-ah)

Cry under covers (ah-ah)

Im not you're mother (ah-ah) ah-ah~

Chorus

It's nyphology, not psychology

Be the manic pixie dream girl that you fukin' ought to be

Damaged oddity, bought by sothebys

Auctioned to a selfish man who thinks that he's the prophesy

You can't even spell but you're an 'expert' in nyphology

N-y-m-p-h-o-l-o-g-y, that's nyphology

V3

Don't treat me that way yeah, you're acting like a wannabe

I won't be ashamed yeah, for loving you so honestly

You're in the spell and it worked, and I'm returning the hurt

Im kicking you're ass out, flutter my wings while I pout

Stick you're👃into youre mouth, I'll make you choke on you're doubt Cut you off, watch you die just a fairy with knife

Chorus

It's nyphology, not psychology

Be the manic pixie dream girl that you fukin' ought to be

Damaged oddity, bought by sothebys

Auctioned to a selfish man who thinks that he's the prophesy

BEAT

Call me you're nymph

You can't even spell but you're an 'expert' in nyphology

Call me you're nymph

N-y-m-p-h-o-l-o-g-y, that's nyphology

RAP😍😍😍😍

Diamonds and rubies, the star, in all movie's wears me out

Big pockets I am her favourite locket keeps them drooling

BEAT

The semi-precious ain't as cold and they're curious

Where did I get refined? Get my cuts and my polishes?

I am too many karate for you're budget ask the jeweler

You're boyfriend tried me on, wore me out

Made him cooler, like moldavite or emeralds from Colombian andes

It will be the brightest, the brightest green you've ever seen

Ancient and its protective an expensive rarity, so rare it is offensive I think you will agree

IM SORRY BUT CAN WE SHOW MORE LOVE TO THE TRANSITION TO EVIL!???!?!?!???!???!?!!

[kllsworn]

The word of the day is: Murder Viagra Thanks. I’ll cherish it forever. 

[morsobaby]

Like um no actually I don't think it's "Easier" to be a gnc boy in school in a bad area where people are generally really traditional. Yea obviously you were bullied for being gnc. Huh? Obviously bullies like that want you to be more masculine, not less masculine, to fit in with them and bc toxic masculinity n shit

[voltronincorrectquotes]

Keith: It’s not the math that’s the problem, you and Shiro just need to bone.

Allura: HoooOw dare you paladin Keith i am your leaDING PRINCESS! 

Allura: BONE!!!!

Allura: Whathappensinmybedroompaladinis none of your business 

Allura: !boOoOoNE?! 

Allura: Don’t, ever, speak to me like that again.

[kuni-is-daddy]

TOJI NSFW HEADCANNONS

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

I was tryna sleep last night and I couldn't😭he was in my HEAD RENT FREE🤪

Yandere toji

Sub toji!

OmG THIS MAN. THIS MAN. I WOULDN'T MIND DROPPING EVERYTHING FOR HIM IN A HEARTBEAT.

Toji loved how obedient you we're. It turned him on so much how some days he'd come home from work and hear noises from your shared room. He'd rush in thinking something was wrong only to be greated by you face down ass up moaning out his name while you fingered yourself.

'oh? I see ya been a little impatient for me my doll. Want some help?' "mmm yes~ toji. Please. Been waiting for you for so long daddy"

He is SO BIG IN EVERY SINGLE WAY. HIS BODY AND ESPECIALLY his dick. The way he'd pin you against a wall while sloppily kissing you, which turns into him picking you up and fucking you right then and their. "t-Toji! F-fuck stop~ we're in public!" 'thats even better doll, want everyone to hear how drunk you get on my cock. Moan for me like the good pet you are.'

Sucking him off oh godd~ you started slowly licking around his tip but toji wanted more. Once you started sucking him up he'd roughly shove his cock all the way balls deep down your throat. "Yeah that's it doll, take daddy's fucking cock. Oh shit~" "gonna shoot my cum down your throat doll. Swallow it like a good little slut."

Sending a video of you touching yourself while he was at work, toji still had his volume up from when you called him before, then when he clicks the video the first thing that everyone around him hears is a loud moan. 'sorry guys, my pet has been a little... Bratty. Lately' he goes to the bathroom to "quietly" jerk off to the video. 'y-yeah..just like that doll..touch yourself f' me.."

When he gets home and sees you making food in the kitchen, he'd quietly sneak up on you then press you against the table. "The fuck we're you thinking you dumass?" Sending shit like that while I'm work. I could get fucking fired." But all you could say was 'did you like what you see?' and fuck he did. You knew you were going to get punished but didn't care. Toji just felt so addicting. You wanted him so bad. Just as he wanted you.

Being bratty omg to be put in your place by him. Toji choking you with one hand while fucking you with the other, toji slapping your ass everytime you slow down. toji fucking you even after your slowly passing out "hey." 'he slaps your ass' "wake the fuck up. Ya think you can tap out right now doll? Brats like you don't get a fucking break. Get up f' me"

want toji to fuck me dum untill I can't do anything but think of him. How his warm load fills you up so well. When his cum starts to seep out of your hole he'd shove his fingers back in. 'mmm baby, want you to keep every fukin' drop of my cum. Gonna fucking breed you. Want daddy to put a baby in you?'

This pussy is so wet f' me. How long have you been like this baby? Maybe I should let you cum on my fingers this time~ you want that babygirl? Y-Yes toji! P-please let me cum. Please I'll be a good girl. I'll be good for you~ then cum for me y/n cum on daddy's fingers like a good pet. Just like that. Let me taste you

[viptower]

knee went fucky

[san-bread]

What do we say to the god of death?

Persephone: knock knock

Hades: who's there?

Persephone: it's September hope you're ready to bang like a screen door in a hurricane

[muthmergya]

❦"Happy suck dick day"❦

Warnings- blowjobs, sukin cock and deep throat, and nsfw, 18+ duh, heaavy degradation, slight humiliation kink, verr godlet being embarrassed once more as she hears poor y/n get railed

Characters- childe,zhongli,diluc,kaeya, scaramouche, xiao x fem bodied reader

MINORS FUCK OFF ❤

@rinnieren why thank you very much for reminding me about this😌💅

Masterlist

❥Childe↴

OK SO like i know- like we all know that this man gonna be rough a hell

Like just imagine that you're on you're dame knees and being forced to suck him off in the fauti tent

Basically him abusing your mouth with his dick

And imma betting that he so will also spit in your mouth after spilling his white load in to degrade you further

Nsfw↴

"Oh look at you~"

Childe Coos mockingly, as he stares down at your crying eyes, while also relentlessly thursts inside your mouth making sure that his dick hits the back of your throat with every thurst.

"You look so cute~ with my dick down your throat, oh I could get used to this~"

Musing once more as he harshly thursts into your mouth,abusing it to no end.

Taking utmost pleasure at the sight of your fucked out face with saliva, tears and his white load dripping down your mouth.

"Oh what a whore you are~! I wonder what more kind of expressions that little face could make~♡"

❥zhongli↴

Ok listen up simps-!

If ya know my blog you know that imma a whore for ninngguang.

Like that women could hit me with her rocks.

But this MAN COULD SHOVE ME INTO THE GROUND WITH HIS FUCKING METERO-

*coughs* sorry-

So yes no thoughts just you giving the overworked man a long deserved blowjob.

On his geo throne

Nsfw↴

Strained husky moans, echo throught the realm of the God of war.

As his supposed lover takes care of his centuries weight of stress.

There you were, on your knees, as you desperately try to fit his huge length fully inside your throat, while also wrapping your sluttry tongue around his glow stick dick

"Oh~! My love it feels amazing"

Musing between heavy breathes, he lets you relieve him off his stress.

❥diluc↴

*moans* Oh yes the dark knight hero~♡

But seriously yall like I know that this man is really mother fukin gentle ok

But my guy got some limits too.

Iike yeah sure diluc is a master of pocker face but would he be able to keep his cool

When you suck of his dick under the bar while many customers are still inside~?

Nsfw↴

"Nn-g~!"

Hushed moans escape the poor boy as he still tries to bite them back

Oh the poor man was just trying to get on with his day when suddenly his lover came up with a silly idea, which he was stupid enough to to agree to.

Now look at him completely trembling as he stand behind the bar his face matching the shade of his hair, while he bites down on his tongue to suppress more lewd sounds escaping him.

The man was thanking all the 7 archons over and over again in his brain that the only 2 customers in the bar were on the second floor,so no one could Catch him in such a forbidden act.

And there you were smirking like a mixicn under the bar as you bob your head up and down his dick, enjoying deep throating him as he counties to bite down his tongue to once again choke on the moan that was about to leave him for orgasming for the 3rd time, from your hot mouth alone.

""J-just you wait-!"

❥kaeya↴

Ah yes ofc th man who's horny 24/7

Like for real I've said this before I'll say it again this man would fawk you ANYWHERE

Like literly anywhere even if it's public it don't matter to him he just gotta feel his dick inside you

And if can't pound into you he'll use your mouth all to his liking

Just imagine your getting forced to suck him off, and then a knight enters his office while you're under his table.

And kaeya just unbrotherly talks to the knight like nothing is wrong while stuffing your mouth up

Nsfw↴

"Ah yes and what happend afterwords if I may ask?"

There kaeya was nonchalantly musing and gossiping with the knight before him as the knight continues to tell him about there mission report.

Oh how utterly composed he looked as he talked away with the knight like everything was oh so normal.

While he also harshly grabbed into your hair forcefully making you bob your head up and down his cock as he stuffs your fucked up mouth with his huge cock.

Oh how utterly small you felt as he kept on abusing your mouth amd throat all to his liking, making sure that all your whimpers get choked down so the knight doesn't get suspicious.

Meanwhile kaeya on the other hand, being the utter sadist that he was, clearly was enjoying the power he held in you as he continues with his foul act.

Finally after 24 minutes of endless chatting the knight finally leaves.

Making kaeya brusts out in laughter as he still uses your mouth.

Glancing down at you mockingly. He once again muses.

"Oh you whore~! You should be thankful that I hid you away on time next time I'll make sure that you're sprawled out across this table and getting stuffed with my cum and that silly knight gets to enjoy the show"

❥Scaramouche↴

Oh yes zaddy!, ok but for real we got another one of them psycho sadist on this list.

Similar to kaeya and childe.

Imma so sure he gonna abuse that pretty little mouth in a public setting

Like just imagine you're his secretary and you both have fucked many times work very well together

So you're prolly on a mission or smt so for the night yall set up a camp together.

And you being a honry fuck start touching him all over.

And completely amused and unamsued by this that you're being oh so touchy but that you're on top.

He deadass shoves you down on your knees and destroys that pretty mouth.

Nsfw↴

"Oh you fucking slut-!"

Exclaiming through his strained moan as he once again harshly pounds into your mouth and orgasming for the 2nd time.

Oh how utterly joyful this was having your face being a utter mess of tears drool and his cum, scaramouche was completely disregarding all your whimpers and pleads for him to slow down as he now once more make sure you swallow down all his white load.

Smirking down at your fucked up face with his hazy lustful eyes as he calms down his high.

"Ohh~! Is the poor whore gonna cry again? Say slut weren't you the one acting like a whore to your superior and even went as far to try and be the one at the bottom? See all of this is your fault you were the one that thought that being an obedient bitch isn't fun anymore, now look at yourself stripped off all your dignity once more~♡ but don't worry I'll make sure that I destroy your poor little cunt just as I did to you throat~"

❥Xiao↴

Okay yall I think we all know bout this one

"Come on fuck meh emo boii"

Ahh yes on another episode of yn being horny and thinking that they could take the lead only to get dicked down either get their mouth stuffed with dick or get their guys rearranged.

So yes another normal day of xiao abusing your hot little mouth on the roof of wangshuu inn as he degrades you like the whore you are.

Nsfw↴

"Oh you slut of a mortal-!"

Harshly exclaiming as he once again slams into your mouth making more tears drip down your face including drool as his dick hits the back of your face.

The sheer humiliation of getting your mouth used on the cold roof of Wang shuu in where almost many could probably hear you and anyone could walk in at any moment

Was both exciting and embarassing but poor you was probably way to lost away by tears and by the intense rough treatment by xiao, didn't even care if you were to get caught as you let him use your mouth all to his liking as you always let him use your body all to his liking.

"Oh you pathetic whore~! I'll make sure you never try to talk over me again and think that you're on top!"

✿Bonus-✿

Another tired sign leaves verr godlet as she holds her head in between her hands.

"This is the 4th time this week"

Note- fawk tumblr for not saving my 1,000 words draft and showing error bez of that shit shot I lost so many fics which I now gotta rewrite.

Also @rinnieren hoe come get yo fuckin food.

And 💞yes💞

This was supposed to be posted yesterday since in asia it was 24th yesterday but since tumblr was a bitch and i lost many of my drafts and fics I had to rewrite this again .

[foxilayde]

I really shouldn't open tumblr in the morning and read it like it's the morning papers because it's 7:30am and all I can think about is latino!jake jerking himself during deepthroat. Thanks for that. I love the fandom for thinking that Steven is the sub, Marc is the dom, and Jake is just ready to choke the fuck out of you, spit in your mouth and call you "tesoro"

“Tesoro”

Bro that’s so fukin officially his endearment for you. Court adjourned.