#i even looked up the text of that stupid book and it still didn't explain anything

[erwinsvow]

you'd never really put this much effort in at other houses. while you're scrubbing the countertops to remove every last bit of evidence that someone—anyone—had made a mess there, you think about the other houses you used to babysit for.

used to, since there was no need to babysit anymore. mister cameron, who will always remain mister cameron—no matter how much he reminds you to call him rafe—actually pays you double what your other families did. he's a busy guy. you know this for a fact—single dad and some big business guy that people in town used to talk about all the time when you used to listen—so he'd have last minute emergencies and random business calls all the time.

his exact words had been something along the lines of "don't wanna share you with anyone else," but even thinking about that encounter makes your face burn with so much intensity that you think you're going to collapse. that's not what he meant, obviously, he was trying to tell you in nicer words that it was annoying when you replied to his texts explaining how another family had booked you already for that night. so when he upped your rate and said that he'd even pay to say no to others, just in case, you would have been really stupid to say no.

you don't hear much about him anymore, when you're out and about. you spend so much time at the cameron house that your own little apartment seems like nothing more than a bed and a place to get ready before leaving. you practically eat three meals a day with the baby, so even your grocery shopping is in that part of town—all organic, expensive places where you talk to the baby and try to get her opinion on which vegetable puree she'd like to try this week.

it's kind of like playing pretend. no, it's really like playing pretend. you used to dress in the normal, comfortable clothes that were sufficient for babysitting every other family—overalls and sneakers—but now you don't fit in unless you're in a pretty dress and nice sandals. you stay in one outfit from when you show up before mister cameron leaves to when you drive home at the end of the night.

that's the other thing—your car. you've made it work with the same one since you could first drive. it's a little rusty, a little dinged up, but safe as can be. it's nothing fancy but it got you around. but now you do other things for rafe that you never did for other families—grocery shopping and errands and the occasional doctor's appointment if rafe really, really can't make it. you don't mind at all—it's fun to play pretend and you love her like she's your own, but mister cameron tries to make it to every appointment himself, because he really cares about his daughter. it's admirable because you don't see it in every single household.

you hadn't thought there was anything wrong with your car until one day you couldn't get the air conditioning to work, and the back window got jammed and the baby looked so uncomfortable that you had to skip out on whatever you were supposed to do that day. when mister cameron came home that night you apologized so much that you started crying—because really, you never thought there was something wrong with your car and you didn't want to make the baby drive in the heat, just in case. you think he'll be mad, there's no groceries and his suit is still at the cleaner's, and the lotion that you use every night after bathtime has ran out and there'll be none for tomorrow—but he's not.

he's not mad at all. he seems... tired. he seems worried. the first thing he asks that night is if you and the baby are okay. when you nod, afraid that this is the calm before the storm, he sighs.

"good. that's all i care about," and the way he says it—you believe him right away. maybe that's the night your little crush on mister cameron started forming. it'd always been there in the background, you'd be an idiot of massive proportions to deny it. but it felt different somehow, watching him roll up his sleeves and pulling out whatever ingredients there were left over to make dinner with, something that you normally tried to have done every night for him, while telling you to take a seat.

that night he asks about your car—how old is it, when'd you get it, how many miles. do you like the model? would you want bigger, smaller, a different color? it's just conversation—he probably likes cars with the way there's a really nice in the garage under a sheet and a nice but safer one that he takes to work everyday.

(while he's cooking pasta and cutting vegetables, you try to get up and help, but he meets your eyes and shakes his head. wordlessly, you obey and sit back down.)

that's the first night things felt different. you drove home a little giddy, later than normal, stomach full and heart a little too happy that you found it in yourself to finally have a real, nice conversation with mister cameron. you're as shy as they come but your interactions with him are limited—before work, a phone call at lunch (though recently, his first question hasn't been about the baby... it's been how are my girls?), and after work before you leave.

it feels good to know that you're doing something right, that you're good at this even on your bad days. you make a point to leave your place extra early that week, stopping at the pharmacy and picking up the lotion so it's one less thing to worry about. your window still won't roll down and you'll have to figure out how to get the groceries delivered, crossing your fingers that it doesn't cost that much more.

you show up a couple minutes early and go inside to sort out the stuff for the baby before she wakes, when you find mister cameron in the nursery.

"good morning," you say quietly, though it comes out a little above a whisper. she's still sleeping, even though you haven't glanced in the crib, you know her schedule like the back of your hand.

"hey, kid," he says, and your heart starts to thud a little faster. mister cameron's nicknames for you don't make an appearance everyday but for some reason, it has today. he hovers over the crib, watching the baby's chest rise and fall with each breath. you go over to join him, placing the lotion on the dresser. he notices the bottle and turns back to you. "you didn't have to do that."

"she needs it," you reply quietly. "it's the only one she likes. and i was up early anyways."

"thank you." it comes out with such sincerity that you're a little taken aback.

"of course, mister cameron. it's nothing," you smile up at him. he glances back at you, smiling and then turning to his daughter again. "i'm gonna go start on her breakfast."

you make your way to the door when he says your name.

"there's keys on the kitchen counter, and the car's in the garage. i'd like it if you started using that car instead."

and really—how are you supposed to respond to that? you stammer out an 'of course, mister cameron' and go downstairs, crossing your fingers that he made a mistake, or that he wants you to drive his car until you fix yours and he'll take the nice one tucked away in the garage.

but when you make it to the counter, and then head to the garage, your eyes nearly fall out of your head. a brand new pair of car keys, to match the brand new car in the garage. your arguments fall on deaf ears—this is way too much for anyone. yes, you're pretty much throwing money away by still paying rent and the cost of getting your car fixed could probably be enough to start paying for a better one, but this is too much. way too much. it's not normal. right?

but you have no one to ask. the baby's not old enough for playdates, and the girls who replaced you at your old houses are pretty much all high school seniors. on mister cameron's side of town, there's only nannies and au pairs, and they'd probably think you're crazy for turning down such a nice gesture.

and it is a nice gesture. mister cameron listens to every word you say, even when you're not paying attention to your own sentence. the car is exactly how you described—the color you wanted, the size you said would be nice one day incase there's ever a playdate or another baby or whatever the case may be. it's shiny and brand-new and completely undeserving of you. but he doesn't listen.

somewhere along the next month, you realize you could get really used to this. mister cameron does have a point—you're taking care of his daughter every day, so it only makes sense to make sure she's as safe as can be. you make a mental note that if you ever—for whatever idiotic reason—choose to leave this perfect job, you'll make sure he gets the car back.

there comes a point where the relationship... makes its way to the next level. at the end of every week, you have to settle the bills. co-pays at appointments, grocery receipts, the invoice from the gardener that didn't go through so you had given him your own cash so mister cameron wouldn't have to deal with it from work. it adds up, so once the baby is asleep on saturday night, the two of you eat dinner and go through everything.

but this time, he hands you a card instead. a shiny black credit card that spells out his name on the back.

"makes it a bit easier, right? just use this instead. we won't have to settle every week anymore."

"right," you agree, your smile fading quickly. you try to put on a front, a false expression so he doesn't notice your disappointment. saturday nights with mister cameron—him with his beer and you with a glass of wine—once the baby is asleep, sorting out bills and making conversation that almost felt like you belonged here, had unknowingly become your favorite part of the week. sometimes it would go until midnight, talking about things that were neither here nor there.

it's how you learned why he's a single dad, what he does for work, how he feels about his job and how much time it takes away from his daughter. it's why you started sending him photo and video updates everyday so he wouldn't feel like he's missing out on as much, it's why you make sure to craft the baby's bedtime routine around him coming home, so they have their time together.

"somethin' wrong?" he asks, after taking another sip of beer. you're snapped out of your thoughts, focusing instead of how rafe looks today. tie loosened, sleeves rolled up, fingers curled around the beer bottle.

you don't know how any woman on earth could have walked away from this.

"n-nothing. no. thank you, mister cameron, this is great. i'll make sure-"

"it's rafe from now on—remember, kid?"

"yes. sorry, i-"

you couldn't get out of there fast enough that night. it's almost a subtle reminder from the universe—you're not part of that family. you're the nanny who got too attached, who pretended that she fit in too much to a family that's not hers.

you still wear your nicer clothes, you still drive around his nice car. but you try to remind yourself every now and then that this isn't your real life.

the next day, it's like the universe has decided that it's mad at you for coming to this conclusion.

pouring rain the second you get into the car. your raincoat and umbrella and a sensible pair of shoes remain inside your apartment, and if you sit in idle any longer, you're going to be late to mister cameron's. he'll want to leave early since it's raining, so he's probably expecting you any minute.

the roads are a mess—it's monsooning for no reason and people forget how to drive. you honk no less than three times at idiots on the road before getting scared that someone will road-rage you. when you pull into the garage—because yes, mister cameron insists that you park inside and that he can park outside— you're frazzled and sweating and your day hasn't even started yet.

rafe's almost ready to leave, which is another damper on an already bad morning—if he has time, the two of you eat breakfast together. you tell him to drive safe and apologize for being late when he rushes past you, leaning in to kiss your cheek and telling you that he might he home late today, and to have a good day. you don't realize what's happened until he's gone, the door closing behind him.

you stand in the foyer with your mouth open until you hear the baby monitor. from that point on—it's one thing after another. the baby is fussy today, which is the most unusual part of the day. she's never like this, and you conclude that she must be getting sick or something. it's just as well, because there's no reason to go out or to take her out in this weather. she cries, and you try to help, even cave and put on some episodes of little bear to see if something would distract her. but the poor thing just doesn't feel good, and has no way to tell you how.

the hours fly by, and your head even hurts a little from the crying and the overthinking about the kiss from this morning. in all the rush, you eat about two bites of lunch before the baby needs something else.

and then at the end of the day, right around when rafe should be coming home, he doesn't.

you feed the baby and rock her to sleep. she fusses ten minutes later, and spits up all over you and your hair, and then knocks out. you even spend twenty minutes hovering over the monitor, making sure she's okay while drying your hair. rafe's still not home, so you get dinner ready and warmed for him, eating yours alone in the silence. and as if you could handle another thing, you spill sauce all over your dress while trying to put away the leftovers.

you were going to wait until you were back home, safe in your tiny apartment to cry and shower and scrub your skin raw from the day you've had, but it can't wait any longer. you take the monitor into the bathroom with you at full volume, and decide to shower in the bathroom closest to the baby's room just to be safe.

it's not until you're naked, wrapped in a soft towel and waiting for the water to get scalding hot, racking your brain for the location of the extra clothes you had once brought here that you realize the shower closest to the baby's room is the shower in rafe's bedroom.

you haven't been in here before—looking around at the expensive cologne on the counter and the dark blue towels and the hamper full of yesterday's dress shirt. it's not a good idea to be in here, but you need to shower and you can't wait another minute. for all you know, mister cameron could come home in another two hours. your dress is spinning in the washer—and your plan is set. throw it in the dryer, find something to wear for the next fifty minutes, and leave as soon as he's home even though you can hear the raindrops on the roof and the thunder outside.

the shower is what you have been needing all day. you wish you had your body wash and shampoo, but his aren't too bad. you inhale deeply, realizing you're submerging yourself in his scent. you could stay in there forever, but you don't—he's gonna be home any minute or the baby could start crying, and you need to go home.

but he smells so good. you've noticed it before, it just feels amplified now. the towel you wrap yourself in is his, meaning he's dried himself with it before. all the clothes smell like his cologne, and the house is a little cold and your clothes are still washing, and though it's probably the worst idea you've ever had, when you get out of the shower, you head to his dresser and pull out the first clean t-shirt you can find.

it's big on you, you knew it would be. it's soft and warm and smells undeniably like mister cameron. you're completely clueless, exhausted because the baby barely napped and you barely got any sleep yourself, and it's way past your own bedtime right now. he might not even come home, you think, with how the storm sounds. you check your phone but there's no messages, just a flood warning.

yesterday's socks and underwear are still spinning in the machine—how long does this thing take? what setting had you put it on?—and you begrudgingly leave rafe's warm bedroom with the baby monitor in one hand, and his navy blue towel in the other, drying your hair. you turn on the television, watching whatever's on while you pat your strands dry, bending over to wrap your hair into the towel so you can sit for a couple minutes, when you hear the door open.

you snap back up, looking at rafe's face stare back at you—he's drenched, hair wet and suit dripping, wiping his forehead with his hand when he looks you up and down. oh god, you don't even know what he just saw, you were bent over and-

"is that my shirt?"

[breelandwalker]

I'm starting to question how much the "old" pagan costumes and festivities were indeed about fertility, sex, etc.

Ronald Hutton claims that there is no evidence in history that the maypole was saw as a phallic symbol, for example. And there are other possible meanings. But you usually just read in books as a matter of fact that it was a phalic representation and the dance around was about fertility etc

I recently read the witche's bible because I was curious about traditional wicca rituals and there is suuch a high focus on how every single costume or holiday was about fertility and sex that honestly it makes me wonder, how much it was indeed about those things and how much is just the interpretation of modern people like Gardner making it about those things

You're hitting the nail on the head without even realizing it, Anon.

SO much of what we think we know about "old pagan customs" comes from books written by Victorian-era occultists. And if there is one thing to be said about Victorian-era occultists, it was that they were horny as FUCK. (And the Edwardians weren't any better.)

These people went around rubber-stamping FERTILITY in big red letters on anything to do with goddesses or springtime or even the most passing reference to pregnancy, childbirth, midwifery, or babies. Literally any excuse for ritual nudity or a sacred orgy. And no, that is not satire. Or a euphemism.

The other thing that can be said about Victorian-era occultists is that quite a lot of them were history buffs and very prolific writers. (If you look at the roster of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and their regular guests, it reads like a Who's Who of the writers of fantastical fiction and poetry at the time.) So the result of that is a whole lot of literature about folklore and "ancient pagan customs" written by people who were filtering what little historical information they had at the time through the lens of their own opinions and those of their colleagues.

(It's worth noting that that "lens" often consisted quite heavily of free-associated ideas not supported by history or things they completely pulled out of their own asses. Leland's "Aradia" is a good example of the "Ancient Sacred Text Given To Me By A Real Witch Who Totally Exists And I Definitely Didn't Write This Myself And Make Up This Claim For Clout" genre.)

Quite unsurprisingly, a lot of these beliefs got absorbed into the roots of the modern witchcraft movement a few decades later, since those were the popular resources available at the time and the same generally-prevailing opinions and biases were still present. So this started WELL before Gardner and his coven were on the scene. They just picked up the thread.

And as we all know, once there's a generation or so of removal from the founding beliefs of a movement, people tend to take the older texts as gospel, regardless of how flawed they might be.

See Also: We Still Have To Talk About The Witch-Cult Hypothesis Because Margaret Murray Wrote The Encyclopedia Britannica Entry On Witchcraft And It Wasn't Updated Until The 1960s.

See Also: We Still Have To Explain The Difference Between Historical Fiction And The Historical Record Because Of The White Goddess And The Mists Of Avalon.

See Also: We Still Have To Talk About The Burning Times Myth Because Raymond Buckland Made That Stupid Fucking Documentary.

See Also: Why The Hell Is Anyone Still Recommending Silver Ravenwolf.

Anyway, the short answer is that yes, your impression is correct, and I'm glad you're reading Hutton and forming that practical context for the witchcraft/pagan literature and media that you encounter.

Keep honing that bullshit detector and best of luck!

[daenysx]

tangerine and misunderstanding trope 🥺? i love how you write him!

-send me drabble requests!

tangerine x fem!reader

It hurts more than you think it would. The messages he didn't reply, the missed calls, the invitations to your apartment he didn't even respond to.

Maybe you were fooling yourself.

You don't let yourself fall into self pity, though. Tangerine is not your boyfriend. He's not, right? Because to be your boyfriend, he should've done something about it. Instead he's been ghosting your efforts to reach out.

You think being hurt over a man who's not your boyfriend is a terrible thing. For many reasons.

He is your something, though. You really like him. You like his deep blue eyes, his kind smile, his stupid jokes, and his frown. You like how soft he seems to be next to you, how his lips curl upwards when he talks about Lemon, how his hands always find yours under any table. You don't want to let this go. You just wish him to try a little, at least.

And, you know what? Fuck him, if he doesn't. Maybe he's not the man you met, maybe he's changed. Maybe he doesn't have enough courage to come and say he doesn't want anything to do with you. Maybe he's just a coward who doesn't know how to end something that didn't even start.

You wish you could stop liking this coward so much.

The day goes on just like any others. You come home earlier, luckily taking the emptier bus and buying some much needed groceries. You settle down on your evening routine easily, a nice shower and dinner afterwards, picking up something to watch as you mindlessly scroll on your phone. The couch is comfy under your body as you get a book in your hand, minutes slipping quickly, you think you can fall asleep here tonight.

Someone knocks on the door.

You flinch, sleep leaving your body immediately. No one called you before coming over, who's at the door? You walk slowly, trying to get a glimpse of the person outside with your hand on your heart.

It's him.

Is it too late to pretend to be asleep? No, you're not running away from this. You're having this conversation, what is he doing here anyway? He doesn't even have the decency to let you know before he comes over. You open the door with a rush of anger in your chest.

"Hey, darlin'," Tangerine says. Is that blood on his hands? "Sorry, were you sleeping?"

You shake your head, trying to get your mind work properly. "You didn't call."

He looks sorry. He should look sorry, actually. You didn't deserve any of it.

"Can I come in?" he asks. You let him take a few steps inside. He follows you to the living room, leaving his suit jacket on the side of the couch with practiced movements. It suddenly hurts how he looks like he belongs here. How he acts like it.

"Where have you been?" you ask without thinking. "You didn't answer my calls for days."

You don't care if you sound pathetic. He really worried you.

"I apologise," he begins. "I- I lost my phone on a business meeting and couldn't get a new one, I still don't have one actually, didn't have time to-"

This sounds like a shitty excuse and you talk before you can stop yourself.

"You know what- don't explain. I mean you don't have to. I'm not your girlfriend, so it's none of my business. I was just thinking you'd at least say something real. Something that sounds like a proper excuse."

"Wha- What do you mean you're not my girlfriend?" Tangerine asks. He looks genuinely confused.

You part your lips, then close them. He does surprising things tonight.

"I mean, we never made that clear, did we?" you say, slowly. "And to be honest, it's worse if you think I'm your girlfriend and still ghosted my texts for days."

"I didn't- Look, I'm sorry if this sounds like a fucked up explanation, but I'm telling the truth. I-" he takes a deep breath. "I never properly told you what I do for work, and it was wrong of me, but I was afraid that if you know- you'd never want to see me again."

You know bits and pieces about his job, you think you don't care about it now, though. You can get over it probably, but being hurt by him and feeling like he ignored you all this time is harder to accept.

"I really did think we were in a relationship," he says. His eyes are- oh, fuck him. They look so beautiful under this light, all wide and somehow innocent, he's telling the truth. "I promise, I didn't ghost your calls. I tried to do better, but I- I'm really sorry."

You take his hand. He looks at you like he's lost in all the emotions. Tangerine is not used to this, to have someone other than Lemon who worries about him and he clearly doesn't know how to make his thoughts on relationships clear. You know things don't work well over assumptions, but it doesn't look hard to fix them. You really like him. Like him enough to forgive him when he's telling the truth and rub your thumb on the back of his hand.

"Do you want me to be your girlfriend?" you ask, bravely. Things are gonna be okay, you believe.

"Of course," he replies. It's a risk, but he's made for worse of them. "More than anything."

"Okay," you say, nodding with a nice smile on your face. "But if we're gonna start this properly, we need to communicate. I don't wanna lose my mind over doubting if you like me enough to reply my texts."

He holds you, unable to stop himself from kissing your forehead. An untold apology lingers in the air. You like having Tangerine in your space.

"I like you more than enough," he says. "I know I don't deserve it, but I'm a lucky bastard that you even care to give me a chance. I'll try to be better, yeah? Really, I'll do better."

You kiss him, it's a good one for your first kiss as lovers. You squeeze his hand in yours, he kisses you back with a rush of big emotions. He's gonna carry them well, though. He has to, otherwise he'd never forgive himself.

"You can tell me all about your job when you get cleaned up in the bathroom," you tell him. "Maybe I'm being an idiot for starting a relationship with a guy when I barely know what he does for work, but I'm gonna take that risk."

Tangerine likes risks. He likes the idea of someone taking risks for him, it's a delicious feeling on his chest. He promises to be honest. Anything comes after, is a risk for him to take.

He lets you take him to the bathroom.

[vmlnrzmp4]

hii I saw that ur requests were open so I scrambled for an idea lol

I wanna request for blue lock dad's helping their daughters with math homework. Most of them don't do well in academics so I think it'd be goofy 😋😋

such a cute idea!

itoshi sae

"this is wrong," sae would say as he looks at the numbers accompanied with alphabets. "i know papa! that's why i hate maths!" natsuki says as the both of them glare at the math problem in the text book. he sighs, flipping the page to see the answers behind. "sae," you call sternly, "you're supposed to help her," "i am helping her. we just need to figure out how this dumb book found the answer," he clicks his tongue, "they didn't mention any steps," there were only straight up answers, "natsuki," he calls, "forget this. play piano and make money with that." "papa!" "sae!"

itoshi rin

rin was growing tired looking at the math problem for the past 10 minutes give or take. "papa, why does math hate me so much?" he clicks his tongue, "it's easy, just—" another 10 minutes of legit glaring and aggressively trying to solve the problem later, rin shuts the book close. and sakura, too tired, leans back on the couch, mentally exhausted. "you know what, papa? i give up," she says and rin didn't seem to mind till she continues— "i'll just marry a rich guy—" "no." he reopens the book, "you're finishing this worksheet now."

isagi yoichi

we all know yuki is a math genius. she doesn't need help but yoichi being the best papa accompanies her anyways. "what's today's challenge, kiddo?" yuki goes on explaining him theorems, formulas, proofs, variables and what not—all just to find a simple value of the worst enemy: x. "you know yuki," yoichi rubs his temple, "i was bad at math and science back in my days. seeing you solve all this by yourself...im proud of you yuki," yuki smiles,her heart warming up at her papa's words, "still. math sounds like a scam to me." "why are you like this papa?" he chuckles and shrugs, "dunno. but you know im your biggest supporter right?" "ofcourse ofcourse~" isagi yoichi: math cheerleader, not a solver, yuki's #1 fan.

michael kaiser

"just draw a flower over it. the teacher might give you marks for presentation." "papa!" "joking princess." he ruffles anne's hair. "let's figure this out together." seconds and minutes pass. and still both dad-daughter were trying their best to solve the stupid equation. sighing, he takes out his phone, "papa that's cheating!" he chuckles, shaking his head, "it's called working smarter princess." and even after watching youtube study oneshots and a lot of googling, they still couldn't understand. "how about we call your teacher and ask why she's torturing kids?"

taglist: @anuverse @luciddre @kongkhoi @illyriakrasniqi2007 @passw-0-rd @x3nafix @levihanmyotp @vellichorira @sapph1r3x @tamashithe2nd @p1z-d0n7jud6em3 [open]

[thatfandomslut]

Green-Eyed Monster

Regina George x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Trigger Warnings: jealous Regina, friends who don't agree with reader relationship (we've all been there, right?)

Request:

can you regina and reader are dating but reader starts being friends with janis, cady, and damian and regina gets super jealous and it causes a fight with reader and then they make up and it's fluffy at the end

Mean Girls requests are open.

(Y/n) laughed loudly, quickly clasping a hand over her mouth as many people turned to look at her. Within those many was Regina George, her girlfriend. Though, no one knew that they were dating since Regina was still in the closet. The blonde quirked a brow from her section of the cafeteria as Janis placed a hand on (Y/n)'s shoulder to help shush her. This was an action that Regina did not appreciate as she narrowed her eyes over at the two. Neither noticed this action as (Y/n) only laughed harder, her forehead gently hitting the table as Janis patted her back, laughing, too.

"Why were you laughing so hard?" Regina asked, sitting across from (Y/n) in her room. She kept her eyes narrowed as she examined (Y/n), trying to figure out what was so funny that she didn't even respond to Regina's texts during lunch.

Regina was still learning how to be in a relationship, and she was far from perfect, but she was perfect at being jealous. Even though there was absolutely no need to be since nothing was going on between (Y/n) and Janis. However, Regina didn't know this. After all, Janis was conventionally pretty, and she came without the baggage of a hidden relationship since she was already out. There was a small possibility that the school's 'it' girl was insecure. Not that she would admit that in any way.

A small laugh escaped (Y/n) as she thought back to what made her laugh so hard. This caused Regina to cross her arms before standing up. "Well, we were talking about this painting from mine and Janis's art class. We had to do portraits, but there's this one guy who like sucks at painting. And, I am perfectly aware it's not nice to laugh, but his portrait of Ms. Klein was not it." (Y/n) couldn't help but feel more giggles bubble in her chest, though she was finally able to keep them at bay.

Regina must have not understood art humor, because this wasn't that funny to her. "Did you have to let Janis put her hand on you though?" She questioned, watching as (Y/n)'s brows knitted together in confusion over what the problem was. "People are going to think you two are dating or something? Do you realize how stupid that makes me look?" Regina looked angry, and (Y/n) was getting to the same point that she was.

Sitting up on her bed and closing her book, (Y/n) considered her words carefully. "Okay, look, I didn't mean to make you jealous, but Janis and I are just friends. I'm not sure what the difference is when you, Gretchen, Karen, and Cady are touching each other's faces to apply each other's makeup. Perhaps you can explain it to me?" (Y/n) tried to stay calm and centered. She knew how heated Regina could get. Still, she must've said something that worsened the situation as Regina's cheeks brightened in color.

"The difference is, Janis is out, and you are out," Regina stated, grabbing for her bag as she started for the door. (Y/n) quickly untangled herself from her blanket, grabbing Regina's hand to stop her. "Don't touch me. You should go hang out with your girlfriend, Janis. She was all over you at lunch, anyways."

(Y/n) let go of Regina, not wanting to anger her more as she sucked in a breath. "Come on, Regina, let's just talk. I don't want to argue over this. I will ask Janis to stop touching me if it will make you happy." (Y/n) offered, hoping to create some peace between her and Regina. She hated arguing with anyone, but she despised arguing with Regina. It was another level of fighting that she couldn't handle. It made her head spin.

Regina walked out of the room and started down the stairs with (Y/n) hot on her trail. "I don't want to talk. I want you to understand how stupid I feel when you just let Janis put her hands all over you." Regina said as she made her way to her Jeep. "Just leave me alone." (Y/n) sighed as Regina shut her Jeep door and ran her hands down her face. She knew to give Regina space, that chasing after her right now wouldn't do anything for either of them.

(Y/n) went back to her room, falling back onto her bed. She was in love with Regina, but the worst part of this being a secret is she couldn't go to her friends for comfort. Instead, she felt unintentionally isolated as Regina's perfume still lingered in the air unhelpfully. She realized that Regina's insecurity more had to do with the fact that she and Janis were both out, but Regina didn't even give her time to help her work through that with her. So, instead, she had to force herself to not call or text the girl.

The next day, around lunchtime, (Y/n) was still somber over the events from the previous night. She had texted Regina a sweet 'good morning' as always but received nothing back. That's why it surprised her when Regina approached her table. "(Y/n), I have a quick history question, can I speak to you in private?" Regina glanced over at Janis, who rolled her eyes at Regina. (Y/n) nudged the girl beside her to stop before following Regina out of the cafeteria. "I realized that I took my anger out at you. To be honest, I was a little scared you might find Janis to be a better girlfriend because she was out, and you didn't have to hide." Regina admitted, causing shock to spread along (Y/n)'s face.

She wasn't expecting Regina to be insecure over Janis. "I understand your fear, and I understand your insecurity. You should know though, I'm not into Janis. She, Cady, and Damian are my best friends. I love them, but it's very different to the way I love you." (Y/n) put her hands over Regina's before their fingers intertwined.

Regina tried to hide the grin growing on her face as she looked down. "You love me?" She asked, her voice filling with emotion, a shift from the apologetic tone she held just before.

(Y/n) laughed softly before kissing Regina softly. Regina kissed back, cupping her cheeks. "Yeah, I love you, Regina George." (Y/n) said softly, glad to see that they had made up and that they were both getting over their previous argument.

"I love you too, (Y/n)," Regina said softly before taking her hand and leading her out the door. "Come on, I'm ready to go out there. I don't care what people think anymore. All that matters to me is that you're by my side when I go out there."

[fanfictiongirlie]

Twilight: Some Soulmate - Chapter Six

Click here for masterlist

Parings: Paul Lahote x Reader

Description: Y/N a member of the Cullen family is imprinted on by one of the wolves, she is shocked, he is shocked. She is struggling with drinking animal blood over human, and he is disgusted by a vampire for a soulmate… But maybe it could work..?

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: None

Words: 1,374

I didn't come back. 

I stayed away from home. 

My family went back to Forks. After Edward nearly killed himself because he thought Bella had killed herself, they all went home. I just couldn't, I felt sick being away from Forks. But Paul made it clear to me, he didn't want me. Why would I stay somewhere, knowing that. 

So I've been exploring, and by exploring I mean, I had a little cottage in England. And I've been reading, I even got a job. As a book keeper, it was actually a nice little life I built in a short amount of time. 

But there was something missing.

Imprinting was a stupid thing. It sucked, knowing there was someone out there who was your perfect half. And they wanted nothing to do with you. Why did my soulmate have to be a werewolf. It didn't even make sense that he was my soulmate, what if I never became a vampire. Then again, Alice said it must of been destiny that I became a vampire. Rosalie says I should be happy it happened when I was still young and not when I was old. 

Paul hadn't tried to message me, or call me. Which hurt, I knew it was hurting him too. I could tell, I could almost feel it. Which Carlisle said was silly. 

They had visited me a few times; my family, before the whole Edward walking into the sun event. Since moving back to Forks I hadn't seen them. 

Esme was begging for me to come back, but I just couldn't. I had a little life here. 

----------

I left my house at 5am, before sunlight, and made my way to my little book shop. Which luckily was located inside a big shopping centre, so no sunlight would hit me throughout the day. I entered the shop, and picked a book at random to start reading. The shop wouldn't be opening until 8am but until then I can read. 

I checked my phone a few times, No new texts from Paul. A few from my family. 

Alice: It's going to be very sunny today, be safe. 

Jasper: Sending calm vibes. 

That one made me laugh. 

We may need you home soon, unfortunately there may be a fight 

That one was from Carlisle. I felt panic, I called him.

"Carlisle what's wrong?" I say, putting my book down. 

"Alice has seen a group of newborns heading our way" He spoke in his quiet soft voice. I had missed it. 

"I can come back and help if you need me Carlisle" I spoke, I didn't really want to come back, it had been ages since I had been there. But if it meant keeping my family safe.

"I'd feel a little bit more confidant if you did, but there's one problem" Carlisle said. 

I waited for him to speak again. 

"The wolves will be helping us, we met with them a few days ago" Carlisle explained. "Edward said he could hear Paul thinking about you, looking for you in our group" 

"Oh, really?" I asked, surprised. 

"Edward says he still hasn't forgiven you, he could hear the anger towards you. But I believe he wants to see you" Carlisle finished. 

I nodded, as if he could see me. 

"When will the new borns be there?" I asked. 

"In one week" Carlisle answered. 

"Okay, I'll leave now, hopefully it shouldn't take long. But I'll see you soon" I say, I put my phone down and frown. I guess I couldn't be opening the shop today. 

I headed outside, luckily the sun hadn't quite left the clouds, but I drove home. Packed all the important bits, and then put a headscarf on. 

And headed towards the airport. 

-----------

The flight was quick, and the drive to Forks was uncomfortable. I didn't want to see him. Or maybe I did. 

I drove quickly, not looking away from the road. I could faintly smell the wolves, and it hurt. 

I pulled up into my house, parked the car and ran quick into the house. But it was empty. Now I was confused. 

I pulled out my phone and dialled Carlisle's number. He answered after one ring. 

"Y/N, are you home?" He asked

"Yes, where are you?" I asked. 

"In the woods, follow my scent, it should be fairly easy to follow" He said, and the call ended. 

Carlisle wasn't wrong, I followed his scent and I saw them soon enough. I also saw the wolves. I knew where Paul was, our eyes met. I could feel the anger. 

I missed him. So much. 

"Y/N" Esme smiled widely, as she came over to me to hug me tightly. 

"I missed you" She whispered into my ear. "I missed you too" 

Carlisle started what ever this was, and then Jasper proceeded to start showing off his fighting skills. 

"Y/N, your turn" He said smirking at me. 

I stepped forward, finally taking my eyes off Paul. 

I watched Jasper, waiting for his first move, he went to punch and I dodged, grabbing his arm and spinning him. He jumped and tried to land on me, but I dodged that by jumping up and wrapping my arms around his chest and pulled him down. 

"That was a good example of what the newborns do" Jasper explained "They will wrap their arms around you and squeeze, do not let them do that"

We all fought a little bit more, except for the wolves, they watched. Carlisle called it to an end as we had been doing this for hours. I stepped forward towards Paul but he growled and ran off. I frowned, I had hoped if he saw me again but with my amber eyes back maybe he would forgive me. Obviously not. 

I joined my family in our walk back to the house. 

"Will you stay after the fight?" Emmett asked me.

"I'm not sure" I answer. 

"You should to see me become a vampire" Bella smirked, I nodded. 

"That's definitely something I wouldn't want to miss, the worlds first clumsy vampire" I joke. Everyone laughed at this. 

I walked closer to Edward so I was next to him. 

"Hey, Ed, was he thinking about me?" I asked. 

Edward nodded

"He only thought of you, when you were fighting Jasper, he kept thinking 'If that vamp actually hurts her Ill kill her'" 

I smiled, it was something. Better than him wanting to kill me.

"It'll be okay Y/N" Bella smiled at me. 

Hopefully it will be okay. 

Previous Part - Next Part

[yourmomxx]

Heyyy omg I saw you looking for criminal minds requests. Would it be possible to request something for derek morgan?? Maybe a protective derek where he's freaking out after hearing that reader is hurt (reader can be bau as well or just regular civillian, it's up to you) and ends up smothering her. Thankyouu so much 🥺💞

a/n: I totally could see Derek Morgan do this, honestly, this is so good. Anon, thank you for your request, I really hope you like how it turned out!

"Derek, seriously, I'm fine!"

"Uh-huh, sure. Tell that to the x-ray the doctor made of your double fractured ankle."

You tried really hard, you did, but at the end, couldn't resist the urge of rolling your eyes.

Derek - your dear, caring, passionate boyfriend, who you loved endlessly (most times) - had acted this way for the past few days. Four, to be exact, four and a half if one counted the day he spent in the hospital with you, not leaving your side even to get coffee.

It had been, a few days ago, that you had broken your ankle.

Fractured, twice.

It happened while you were coming down the stairs, you'd slipped on a patch of the sleek wood and tumbled down the remaining three quarters to the bottom.

It was the most stupid and idiotic way to break a bone, honestly, but it had happened to you either way.

You'd known Derek was out on a case, somewhere in Milwaukee, you honestly didn't remember all the town's names all that exactly, which is why you had satisfied yourself with only sending him a quick text after an ambulance had shuttled you to the nearest hospital.

The doctors had told you that you would be fine, just that they were pretty booked this time of year and your treatment could take longer than usual.

It's why you stayed the night.

When you had woken up the next day, mind still a bit foggy and ankle swollen and hurting more than it would any normal day, you had never expected to actually see your boyfriend earlier than that evening.

But you'd been wrong.

Because there he stood, Derek Morgan, in all his tight-henley, muscular glory, talking with one of the doctors who'd briefed you about your condition the day before, an invested look on his face, just a few feet outside your open hospital room door.

The clinical, white sheets rustled as you straigthened yourself up.

"Derek?" The soft call of his name made your boyfriend look up, just as the doctor stepped away.

A smile played around his lips as he made his way over to you. You were still baffled about his showing-up, when he leaned down and pressed a greeting kiss to your mouth.

"Hey, sweet thing," Derek mumbled.

With a grunt, he sat down in the worn-out, yellow cushion chair and regarded you with deep concern in his dark eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

You tilted your head.

"Like I fell down the stairs and double-broke my ankle not even twelve hours ago."

Derek's mouth left a soft chuckle. You grinned.

"What are you even doing here, I thought you had a case?"

He raised his hands in a defensive manner. "Whoah, now don't be too excited." There was no bite behind his words, or the eyeroll you gave him in response.

"I'm serious, baby," You said. "You didn't have to be here, I'm totally fine."

Derek leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. His gaze didn't leave yours.

"We closed the case about two hours after you sent me that text," He explained. "When I read what happened, I pushed everyone to pack their things just a bit faster than normal, we took the jet, and now I'm here." He opened his arms. "End of story."

You cocked an eyebrow. "How much faster?" You asked.

Derek weighed his head. "A lot faster."

You let out a laugh. "God, you are crazy," You breathed out, cheeks pushing your eyes closed with how wide you were smiling.

Derek reached out and took your hand into his, the warm weight laying comfortable in your palm.

"Only for you, mama."

His hand squeezed yours and you smiled.

Turns out that hospitals were the. worst.

At first the willingness with which all staff was tending you with, it felt like a blessing, for once not having to do the most mundane tasks by yourself - because honestly, who wouldn't want that? - but as time passed by, it all seemed to weigh down on you.

You were practically chained to a bed that wasn't yours, and therefore in no possibility as comfortable as the mattress you were used to. The clinical smell of sanitizer started burning in your nostrils, and your eyes felt blinded by the exact same shade of white that covered every wall, surface, and sheet in your sight.

You almost groaned when a white cast was put on your leg to stabilize it. Derek had just grinned at you and promised to bring Penelope over at some point, with a set of acrylics, glue, and rhinestones.

That's when it had started. The Doctor had told you to rest up for a while, don't put too much weight on your left foot where you had broken your ankle, and come in for regular check-ups.

You should've known then, that you were doomed. Because since you had left the hospital that afternoon four - three and a half - days ago, Derek had not once thought about leaving your side.

For anything.

Any. Thing.

He was being so sweet with it, of course, because Derek Morgan didn't know to be anything else, but over time, having this constant worry hung at you for tasks that should have been the simplest of everyday life was draining, and made you grow agitated.

If you needed to compare it, it felt like being sixteen and your parents checking in on you while you were at a friend's birthday party every hour on the clock, all over again.

You were standing in the kitchen right now, spatula in one hand, the other perched warningly at your hip, a pan on the stove ready to be heated up and a disapproving look on your face, staring down Derek Morgan who stood accross from you with his arms crossed and an almost stronger "Don't try me"-attitude than you had.

Almost.

"Baby," You said, slowly dragging out each syllable. "I understand and do appreciate your concern, but I am fully able to cook lunch."

"The doctor said not to put too much pressure on your foot," Derek shot back. He gestured towards the kitchen island. "Scurrying around for at least half an hour without a break is what I call 'too much pressure'."

The only pressure you were feeling right now was the exasperated groan that you fought back of pushing out your chest.

"I feel alright," You reassured him. "And if I really feel like it's too much, then I'll sit down and take a break."

Derek shook his head. "Will you, though?"

You sighed and put the spatula in an empty space on the kitchen island.

As smoothly as you could, you walked over to your boyfriend, supporting the weight on your unmoving leg by leaning your hand on the kitchenette, as you had discarded your crutch on the other side of the room.

Derek raised his eyebrow at that.

Finally reaching your boyfriend, you put your unoccupied hand on his cheek and let your thumb softly stroke over the stubbled skin.

Derek ever so slightly leaned into the touch.

"I'm just worried 'bout you," Derek murmured quietly.

You nodded slowly. "I know."

You did. And you understood. With all the death and hurt he saw, day by day, night after night, how could he not be?

"But baby, you gotta believe me when I tell you that I can take care of myself. That I know my limits." You gestured around vaguely. "That I can cook lunch for myself and my beautiful, kind boyfriend."

A hushed laugh escaped Derek's chest. His dark eyes found yours and the glimmer in them softened, turned a whirl of worry into a smooth tide.

"You just gotta watch out for you," Derek said. "I know you like to push yourself, don't like admitting defeat."

His hand came to rest on your forearm of the hand that was still tenderly lingering on his cheek. The soft tickle of his thumb drawing absentminded circles seeped through the thin layer of your clothing.

"But taking breaks is okay. There's a difference between being weak and just taking care of yourself."

Derek dipped his knees slightly when he noticed your gaze flashing to the floor, to catch your attention again.

"And I have never, not once in the time I've known you, known you to be weak. Alright, sweetheart?"

The warmth was radiating off his strong body, and infiltrating every single one of your concious senses. Unaware you were doing it, you leaned closer to him. The breeze of his cologne wrapped around you in pure comfort.

"Alright," You said. "Alright, I promise I'll take care."

Derek held your gaze. His fingers pushed a loose strand of hair away from your forehead. "That's all I wanted to hear."

The quick peck you pulled him in for by the neck quickly turned into an open-mouthed kiss, Derek's tongue circling yours for the briefest of moments, before finally gaining dominance.

You attempted to press further into him, but your hard time keeping balance wouldn't allow it.

He pressed one last, small kiss to your nose before backing away.

You smiled at him cheekily, still supporting yourself on the cold stone of the kitchenette, and laboriously turning around to finally get to make the food you'd fought so hard to be able to cook.

"At least let me work the stove."

"Derek!"

[slitheringghost]

Making Sense of Lily's Last Moments

Lily Evans is textually and in fandom lauded for her sacrifice, but if you stop and really think about it, Lily's last moments are extremely bizarre, and, to be frank, make her seem kind of incompetent rather than the battle hardened soldier she was:

1. She doesn't have her wand on her when Voldemort is hunting her family down and they could be in danger any moment, which is insanely careless (James does have his, even though he leaves it for just a couple moments just as Voldemort arrives)

2. She wastes precious time blocking the door with cardboard boxes when she knows Voldemort can just wave them away and then more precious time trying to reason with Lord fucking Voldemort despite having wandless magic abilities, begging Voldemort for mercy when the entire reason they've been in hiding for a year is because they all know that, y'know, Voldemort has no mercy (And Lily, the Muggleborn, who has lost the most to this war, knows this better than anyone)

As I explain in this post, we have similar scenarios in which the characters do fight - Amelia Bones "put up a real fight” against Voldemort. Bellatrix uses knives as backup when disarmed of her wand. Dobby saves Harry via wandless magic in the same book we see Lily’s death and her controlling wandless magic at 9. Harry avoids curses from Voldemort/Bellatrix/other Death Eaters by hiding behind stuff. Bellatrix initially escapes Dumbledore who's the better duelist over Voldemort, etc. So while escape is highly unlikely, isn't impossible either. And there's no way Lily wouldn't go down fighting if she had the option.

There's a lot of moments in the series where we as readers go "well why didn't the characters just do XYZ instead, it's such an obvious answer!" especially with how limitless magic in HP is. But I generally assume there's some in-universe reason that would make the characters' choices make sense rather than just accepting that they're stupid and incompetent.

I'm constantly on my soapbox about how fandom should adapt the interpretation that Lily had a plan and did dark magic to save Harry and to defeat Voldemort, which is my personal reading of the text However, if I haven't convinced you on that (...yet), here are some possible ways to fill in the gaps and make Lily's choices seem less strange. (Even if you don't think the canon version makes her look incompetent, these are just fun ideas to play with regardless!)

Why Lily didn't have her wand

Lily's wand broke at some point during a particular dangerous experiment. We have canon examples - Ron's wand in CoS, Harry's in DH (How did Voldemort's wand survive the blast if his body evaporated and end up with him in GoF then? Who knows...). Realistically, the Order would prioritize getting Lily a new wand ASAP because it's so obviously necessary, so maybe it happened close-ish to Halloween and they didn't have the time or opportunity. It could be an interesting parallel to Harry's own powerlessness in DH without his phoenix wand.

@keepmycandleburning's explanation in her fic I'm quicker includes a dark interpretation of James and Lily's marriage, where James took Lily's wand hostage as a method of abuse.

Why Lily didn't fight with wandless magic

Despair and depression can sap your magical power - examples include Merope, Tonks, dementors affecting the magical power of Azkaban prisoners', etc. Perhaps Lily had post-partum depression which sapped her wandless powers, or even just the general despair of fear for Harry's and her own and her loved ones' lives, being trapped in hiding, her family and other friends being dead, etc. Also interesting because until then Lily had a safety net compared to a lot of other Muggleborns - who were in constant fear of having their wands taken away and no wandless magic to fall back on - due to her magical power, but she ultimately ends up deprived of that too.

I still think Lily would've tried, like, anything else other than the cardboard box thing and begging Voldemort, but at least this makes her actions less weird and more like the brilliant witch we know she was.

[thelov3lybookworm]

You Think I Wanted This? (Part 2)

Part 1

Summary: The wedding day has arrived.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: Ehehe im so excited for yall to read this aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

anyways, enjoy!

•○🌑○•

If there was one word that could describe the situation around the palace, it would be chaos. But ten times worse.

The time was flying by, and it was getting incredibly hard to keep herself from screaming in frustration. The anxiety building up in her, the worries... it was hard to focus on anything.

The wedding would take place today in the great hall in just a few hours, and Y/n could not stop the tremor in her hands.

The only thing that comforted Y/n was the fact that Cam was now present with her, in the Palace, having returned from Basgiath during the leave granted before his second year.

Due to being the son of the king, he had been granted some leniency so he could attend Y/n's wedding.

That, and the books Y/n was forced to read, being a healer.

All alone in her room now, all she could do was read through the boring texts again, because that was the only way she could stop thinking about the inevitable ruining of her life.

A knock startled Y/n, and she glanced at the small clock she kept on her desk, frowning when she realised there was still, at the very least, an hour until the maids came to get her ready.

Standing, she called out. "Yes?"

"May I come in?" The voice was unmistakably female, with the confidence of someone far older an experienced than the owner of the voice should have been.

Y/n walked over, opening the door a crack to find Violet Sorrengail waiting, her hair in a messy braid hanging over one shoulder.

Y/n blinked, then opened the door wider, letting her in.

"Sorrengail, what brings you here?"

Violet took a deep breath, letting the door fall shut behind her before speaking.

"Did you ask to be married to Xaden?"

Y/n blinked, taken aback. "Xaden? Why would I want to be married to him?"

Violet sighed, frustration evident in the dark circles under her eyes and the tension in her shoulders. Now that Y/n looked closely, she looked like she had not showered or had a meal in years.

"I- you were staring at him that day like- like you wanted him, and then right after the king announced your marriage and..." Violet took a deep breath, looking like she would have a panic attack any moment. And despite the fact that this girl was involved with Y/n's soon to be husband, that they had something going on, maybe even feelings involved, all Y/n felt was pity for her.

Y/n sympathised with the girl, but there was nothing Y/n could do to comfort her than give false words of hope.

"Look, Sorrengail, there is nothing I can do. I am sorry, I truly am, but I can't put a stop to this wedding, if that is what you are here for."

"But you didn't even try!"

Y/n crossed her arms, rubbing between her brows, realising Violet had been trying to hold in her emotions all along and she was not here for a friendly chat over tea.

"I know the consequences I would have had to bear for objecting, and the wedding would still have happened because no one goes against the king's words."

"You are his daughter! He would have-"

"And you are a grown woman, who, I hope, understands what consequences are. So I am not going to sit here and explain to you what would have happened if I'd done what I wanted to two hours before the betrothal takes place." Y/n glanced at the clock to make sure she had the right timing before turning towards the door, reaching out to clutch the handle.

"You didn't even try." All anger had dissipated from the rider's voice, and the tears in her eyes made her look like she was ready to fall to her knees and beg for Xaden to be freed.

Y/n clenched her eyes shut, knowing if she watched Violet cry, she would do end up doing something very stupid, and that something was definitely going to get her killed.

"I am sorry Violet, but there is nothing I can do other than to tell you to return, go to someplace that brings you peace, and stay away from the palace for atleast two days."

The fire of rage again lit up in Violet's eyes, and she stomped forward just as Y/n opened the door for her to leave.

"Fuck you." Violet cursed, and Y/n did not bat an eye at the words as she clicked the door shut behind her.

With a sigh, Y/n returned to her desk.

Not long after, someone again knocked on the doors, though this time it was the servants arriving to get Y/n dressed up all pretty for the ceremony.

Y/n let go of her textbook and let the attendants fuss over her, the mannerisms of a princess that had been drilled into her since she was born keeping her from complaining everytime they pulled her hair too harshly.

Kept her quiet even when the corset was too tight.

Kept her quiet even when all she wanted to do was cry and ask what the purpose of all this was.

•○🌑○•

Violet's pov.

The crowd was silent, watching the bride walk down the aisle who only had eyes for the groom. Some of the held appreciation for what the girl had managed to achieve, some held scorn in their hearts for her getting married to the son of a coward and betraying the kingdom.

Her eyes remained unwavering, her long hair running down her straight back, hands clutching at the small bouquet of flowers.

She was beautiful, Violet had to admit.

The groom too stared at the bride, his hands folded neatly behind his back, and though his expression remained neutral, his eyes spoke volumes about his happiness regarding this marriage.

At least the two of them knew nothing could come out of this marriage, and no one would be disappointed after the outcome turned out to be hatred.

The moment the bride took her position at the podium, the priest started speaking.

After long minutes of droning, the bald priest finally asked the question that the groom, bride and Violet all dreaded.

"Do you, Xaden Riorson, take Y/n Tauri, to be your wife?"

Violet's breath caught in her throat as she stared at the tense Lieutenant, who, if possible, tensed even more as he answered.

"I do."

"Do you, Xaden Riorson, swear to be loyal throughout this marriage to your wife?"

At that, Xaden jerked, his head turning a little towards where Violet was standing, but then he stopped himself and stared again at his to be wife.

"I do."

The princess blinked in confusion, and her eyes slowly swept the crowd as she searched for something.

Violet moved, trying to conceal herself behind the pillar she was standing next to.

Of course, the two girls met eyes before Violet could be successful.

Violet watched as exasperation and pity filled Y/n's eyes, and Violet lifted her chin in confidence she didn't feel.

"Do you, Y/n Tauri, take Xaden Riorson, to be your husband?"

Violet watched as the princess swallowed and spoke, no other sign of hesitation or anxiousness in sight. "I do."

"Do you, Y/n Tauri, swear to be loyal throughout this marriage to your husband?"

"I do."

The lack of hesitation almost made Violet feel bad, because the certainty that dripped from the princess's voice told Violet that even if Xaden continued to pursue Violet behind close doors, the princess would stay loyal to him.

Almost.

"I now pronounce you two married. You may kiss the bride."

Violet held Y/n's stare until Xaden was right in her face, and then she closed her eyes, and let him kiss her.

Violet turned away, walking out of the huge doors and making her way to the flight field near the palace.

She knew she should have heeded the princess's advice, but she couldn't stop herself from seeing him get married by her own eyes.

Even if the bride was not who Violet wished.

•○🌑○•

@artists-ally @riddlesb1tch

Xaden Taglist: @sidrapotter @anniiittttaa @pirana10 @harrystylesfan2686

[kaziwi]

hiiiii can you write like a college au where you’re like struggling in a class and ace or zoro offers to tutor you but in reality they don’t know what they are doing and only did it to get close to you

thankssssss <33333333333333333

Hii!! This request was SO CUTE!! I did write a lot though so sorry about that!!

I hope you enjoy!

Fake Tutoring You

Character(s): Zoro, Ace

WC: 1,183

Zoro

You groaned as you looked down at your latest biology test. In big red marker pen the letter F was written on the corner of your paper. You were failing biology.....like really REALLY failing. You were screwed if you didn't pass this semester, but you just didn't understand anything. You had no idea what to do, until the guy next to you spoke up.

He said his name was Zoro. You had sat next to him all year long, but didn't really talk much. He was always really quiet and you didn't want to bother him. He said that he noticed your grades hadn't been the best lately, which had you flustered while you covered the F on your paper.

He reassured you that it was fine, and offered to tutor you. This was perfect!!! You thanked him so many times and gave him your number and said that you guys could figure out a time and date later. You left class happier than you arrived, excited for your first tutoring session.

Zoro was screwed. He didn't tell you this, but he also happened to be failing biology. Well...not failing....but it wasn't much better than your grades. Every day he thanked Chopper for tutoring him before tests because without him he would be in the same position as you right now. He had a crush on you, but had no clue on how to ask for your number. When Nami suggested this method, he had thought it would be flawless. Now he realized that he actually had to tutor you. Stupid witch. She probably did this just to embarrass him.

As soon as you were out of sight Zoro pulled out his phone and rushed to call Chopper.

"Hey Chopper, you think we can have another tutoring session tonight??"

"Didn't you just have a test a few days ago??? You have another??"

"Um....well....basically..." Zoro explained his current situation to Chopper, and tried to ignore the snickering from Usopp and Luffy in the background.

"Sorry Zoro, I can't tonight, but if you want I can email you a few online text books you can read through to prepare!!"

"Yeah...thanks Chopper" Zoro hung up and held his head down low. He knew he was screwed, but maybe, just maybe he could help you a little. He got a text from you later that day asking if 2pm tomorrow was okay. Zoro said sure, eager to see you, but this meant he had little time to prepare. He opened all the links Chopper sent him, pulled out his bio notes, and drank more coffee than he ever had before. He was going to be a biology MASTER by 2 pm tomorrow.

It was now 2pm and Zoro was RUNNING to the library to meet you. Maybe staying up till 5 am preparing wasn't the best idea....

You were waiting at a table, constantly checking your phone. It was 2:15 and he still wasn't here. You planned to wait another 5 minutes before leaving, till you saw a sweaty Zoro run up to your table.

"Sorry I'm late, I overslept," He panted out. Honestly he looked like shit, his clothes all sweaty and his hair was a mess, but it was a little cute...

"It's 2 pm....do you usually sleep this late??"

"Haha..sometimes..."

Zoro sat down and pulled out some notes and a textbook. This was his big moment, the moment he's been preparing for. You would be wowed by his biology skills and then ask him out...haha....

About 10 minutes into tutoring, you turned to him and asked, "You don't know what you're doing...do you.." It was pretty obvious, every question you asked he stuttered or had no clue how to answer. You felt bad and thought that maybe he was just nervous, but after awhile even you could tell he didn't know anything.

Zoro realized it was pointless denying it, so he confessed. He was worried you would be upset at him, but after he explained everything you just laughed.

"If you wanted my number all you had to do was ask," you said between laughs. Zoro was flustered at first, but soon joined you in laughing about the situation. You promised him to not consider this your first date and he promised to introduce you to his really smart friend Chopper that could tutor you.

Ace

The letter F covered your computer screen. At this point you didn't even want to check your grades anymore after seeing your recent scores. You were failing Calculus, like really bad. You had no clue how you were gonna get your grades up. While wallowing in your own self pity, someone tapped your shoulder.

You turned around to see Ace, the guy who sat behind you. He had a cheeky grin on his face while commenting that he couldn't help but see your test scores, and offered a solution.

You had never expected him to be good at Calculus, as he was always goofing off, but after he kept insisting he could help, you caved and set up a time and date to meet.

Ace did a silent cheer as he left class. You and him were going on a date. Well...technically it was an unofficial date where he would "tutor" you, but that didn't matter. He was so excited that he forgot that he was ALSO failing Calc!! Yay!!

He immediately called Sabo and told him about his accomplishment.

"Are you really that stupid Ace," Sabo said in a stern voice over the phone.

"WHAT it was a good idea!!"

"Ok...but what about tomorrow when they expects you to tutor them and you can't...don't you think they'll get mad."

Shoot. Ace didn't think about that one.

"SABO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP MEEEE," Ace cried into the phone. Sabo reluctantly agreed and they stayed up until 2 am prepping Ace to tutor you.

Now a VERY tired Ace walked to a near by café, hyping himself up for his "date." He walked in and looked around till he spotted you sitting at a table in the corner of the café. God you looked beautiful.

Ace walked up and greeted you, pulling out the notes him and Sabo made last night. He was ready, HE COULD DO THIS, and then maybe...maybe after you could go on a real date.....

Lets just say things did not go according to Ace's plan. You slowly realized that he was talking nonsense and had no clue what he was doing. Even after prepping with Sabo all night Ace still couldn't answer your questions.

"Look, I just did this so we could spend time together. I wanted to ask you out, but I wasn't sure how to. Then when I saw your grades...I had this spur of the moment idea and-"

"Ace it's fine," you cut him off, "Really its ok, I get it, how about we forget the math and consider this our first date?"

Ace was more than happy to do that...and he promised he would introduce you to his much smarter brother, Sabo, to help you get your grades up.

[castleofclouds]

ᴛᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏꜱ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴅᴀᴛᴇᴅ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ Nct Dream Alternative Universe OT7.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ pairings ; ot7 × reader (yn)

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ disclaimer ; fiction, cursing, 18+ content, kms joke and many more.

Story are by © castleofclouds, do not copy or repost without watermark!

‧₊˚ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖‧₊˚ ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖‧₊˚ ࣪﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹

sumarry : your life was peaceful until your stupid friends start giving you ideas of making thread about ur exes, stirring a whole new problems for you, suddenly one by one of your past start running back to you and opening old books of you and them, how do you act in this situation?

genre : gotta be fluff! texts (sometimes smau) angsty, slowburn, romance, humor, mention of 18+ content.

tag : @bluedbliss, @luvandletter

To All The Boys I've Dated ; Better Run.

“Urghh..”

The liquor got the best of you, who knew a simple cocktail you drank last night would mess you up real bad, you looked past your shoulder, seeing your phone on the drawer next to you, as you open plenty of notification pops up, your head still spinning like crazy, you can't read anything that pops up, even with your eyes squinting, those text still feel a lot of trouble to see with your eyes.

You got up on your feet, washing your face it's weirdly peaceful today, like awfully quiet, your roomate and best friend Karina, supposed to be in her rooms either screaming to waking you up to join classes, yet there's no sign of her in your shared apartment, where could she be? You guys had class together and it's not usual for her to ditch you at this hour.

Changing your pajamas into a much more neat blouse and jeans you looked around seeing your own reflection, you look very tired, there's a dark circles under your eyes, well how can't you not? Yangyang make you drink even though you still had classes the next morning, you want to just strangle him to death the more you think.

As you walk to your campus, you felt eyes behind your shoulder but everytime you turn your head, those staring gone, poof, like some sort of magic powder, what happened today? You felt like a criminal with all of the glaring, but some are different, they somehow pitying you? You? Pitied? What's so awfully about you today? You even take shower today! It's unusual of course, even for you.

Yangyang came out of nowhere, putting his hands on your shoulder like a souvenir, you glared at him, Yangyang seems awfully joyous today, what prank did he had again today? Is it about you?

“Don't touch me, I don't have spare change.” you sulk, your day just started and you can't be bothered about his weird attitude at 9 in the morning.

“Whoa, girl wake up and choose violence today huh? Even though you are a celebrity today? Everyone talking about you,” He explains, pointing at everyone that looking at your direction.

So YOU DO get stared at, but why? There's no specific reason for them to look at you like that.

“Why?” you ask nonetheless.

“You don't remember? Oh babe let me remind you, last night you tweet something don't you? Perhaps about your exes?” The words got out of his mouth, you couldn't believe what you just heard. You do remember you tweeted about it.

But that account only had 4 followers, yangyang, karina, winter and your second.

Well if you didn't include yangyang 5 more stan accounts where he use it for fanboying, the boy had big crush on Ariana Grande, same as you.

“Well yeah? It's just a simple funny dare nothing new what's up?” You said nonchalantly.

“Wow, when karina said you never look at your message box she was right.” He added.

You look at your phone on your hands, you do never look at your message box, you either only use it when texting about movie and nude. Never more. But you did remember your twitter dm box are full with text when you just woke up.

“So you didn't know that the whole campus knew your exes? And your exes actually saw your tweet about them?” Yangyang drop the bomb of information on your weak mind, suddenly a rush of shock wave get into your brain.

OMG, YOU ARE FUCK.

That's all you can think, you hurriedly opened your Twitter and saw a lot of dmed, but you saw seven accounts that you knew a lot, it's your exes accounts. How can they know? You never exposed your account, your tweet never get past 2 likes and two of them from Yangyang stan accounts.

You couldn't open them, you knew if you open it they can see you read their messages.

Instantly you run. Like absolutely went berserk, Yangyang couldn't catch up to you, as you run thinking a simple run could save you from your trouble, you spent a solid 30 minutes running before you finally stopped and rest your tired body under that tree next to the campus track field.

How can your life be much worse than this, you don't have any thought, you questioning whether you should be happy or ask someone to just shoot your head and left you as your body laying limp on the field.

Why them? You cursed yourself for being idiot.

You take a deep breath, it's such a long time ago, your exes wouldn't remember right? But their messages. Fuck.

The only thing you can do now is avoiding, avoiding anybody and any attention, as you ready to walk you found so many familiar faces that would interrogate you if you take any step closer to them so you stopped.

As you looked around, you remembered a lot of memories of your past, you used to be the most loved person on planet, you used to wish to stars, taking pictures of everything that look aesthetically pleasing to your eyes, or just laying on the field while reading and talking for a whole day.

You kinda wanted to hate your exes, but you can't, yet you kinda wish you can, since they are the one who walked away from you leaving you alone with all of this trust issues and broken heart.

Until you found someone its Johnny, the guy that had so many gossip on his head, there's even a saying reason why he had so many hair is because he puts every gossip onto his head causing hair to grew up faster, He found you sitting by yourself, you never looked away so fast.

Oh fuck NO! You quickly get up because if he ever catch you, you done for!

You get up quickly, Johnny start following you as you walk away before taking another leap of marathon. Today is your running day. If you can run from your problems, then so be it, you can't see anybody faces right now! At least not today.

You missed a class, even though you never done it before, such a shame tho today lecturer was your favorite, all because you stupidly agreeing on a bet you made. Karina look at you pity, rubbing your back softly as she cheered you up.

“What's wrong girliee? Is there something wrong?” she asked you worrying, you sigh.

“Why did I even agree to that stupid shit last night, shoulda stop at just drinking now I make my own life miserable..” you want to cry, you couldn't believe how everything happen so fast.

“Aww baby, it's not your fault eh? It's totally normal to speak about your exes besides what's so wrong about thinking of your exes and make a thread about them? most people would do worse than that thank God you didn't sleep with any of your exes?” She assured you, even though you don't how how is that considered assuring to you.

Go home is the only thing you had on mind today, your apartment was close you can just walk there but the amount of running causing stir inside your head, as you walk the crosswalk look very funny, you ended up fainting on the middle of the road.

You could hear Karina voices, and Winter too, they are very worried about you, as you get up you already in a strange place with white walls and curtains.

“Where am I?” You asked slowly change your position to sitting, Winter explains after helping you get up. “You fainted babe, how can you faint in the middle of the road like that? Gosh I'm so worried, Karina cried when she pick up the phone! Yangyang are on his way here,” she talks fast, you could see that both of them had glassy eyes, you caused them to worried. What a terrible friends! You think to yourself.

But, who found you?

“Who found me? I thought the road back to apartment are quite desolated, there's almost nobody past there,” You ask curiously.

“We don't know, the hospital calls us, but they said the guy left a note for you.” as Karina gives you the notes.

“Hey, I paid for your tab so you don't need to, you can paid me back at this address. RCafe, Lilac Street, No 14. Hope you are okay.”

You looked at the notes and feel like your life ended, it's bad enough that you already fainted and some stranger bring you to the hospital, now you owed them money?! Even though you already shorts on one, you could only sigh at the notes you hold.

“Man, if I saw yangyang I would kill him.” you remark, while Yangyang could feels chills all over his body on his ride to the hospital.

—

Masterlist. Next.

A/N :

WHAT DO WE THINK? THE FIRST EPS LET'S GO!! gosh, I'm loving this story too much I've been learning just for this? Are you serious? Man any each way I'm happy with how this turn out ngl, I love the idea of exes, and since I don't see anybody made about exes, I'm gonna make one myself hehehehe, how do we say? Do y'all like it? Hope so, kinda wish I had the life that YN had, not the break up part but the college life, kinda missed it, i'm on the last semester of my campus life soo how life passes 🥺 anyway if anybody would love me to continue please continue suport me with those notes and tweet. Needed it very much! 💓

[lostonehero]

Mini mech fic or something

Marius isn't dumb he just can't read common

DTTM came and passed, and they were still around. None of them truly knew what to do now as their mechanisms became more ingrained into their bodies, Brian was suffering the most, not remembering that he was never human and trying to cope with vio metal and new forms. Although Ivy, Raphaella, Nastya, and Aurora were transfixed on a book Ivy found on their most recent stop for supplies.

"I have no record of this language in any of my databases." Aurora chirps. "How very exciting something new."

"Or old." Ivy hums. "I've never seen pages made from this material. It's a poisonous substance made inert by making it into a paper like substance."

"The medical diagrams are quite fascinating. I wonder what species this book pertains to. I want to experiment on them." Raphaella's tone was full of growing excitement something not heard since DTTM.

Nastya smirks. "We could use this to find a new adventure."

The four continue to chatter excitedly until a metal hand grabs the book.

The four shout at the same time. "Marius!"

Marius hums thumbing through the book.

Ivy scoffs. "Just what are you doing? You can't possibly read that."

Marius hums. "Hmmm? Oh, it's a heat guide for before and after. Haven't seen something like this in ages. I misplaced mine after Carmillia took me. This is an updated version.... huh, I didn't know that was possible." He continues to thumb through the pages.

"A heat guide?" Raphaella raised a brow. "What does a heat even mean?"

"Nothing you have to worry about." Marius hums softly.

Nastya pulls the book away from Marius. "Seriously, you can't possibly be able to read this. The language is not in Aurora's database or Ivy's archive."

Marius blinks. "That's because Ivy won't let me put my journals into her archive!" He pulls out a journal from one of his pockets and opens it. The written language is identical to the book. "I handwrite everything I can't actually read common. All my texts books I've bound myself."

Ivy pauses. This explains why Marius only picks up audio romance books and whatever other books he takes from her archives. Well, nearly all her books have audio to go with it. She records a lot in the lull of no new books.

"You can't understand written common?" Raphaella bites her lip. This explained too much.

"My planet exists in a mostly dead star system. There aren't other or different species to communicate with. My star system was nearly destroyed for resources and abandoned." Marius pulls out another book of star maps. "It's here. There's only two planets left with any sentient life. My species is the only sentient life left there." He looks annoyed as he snatched the book back from Nastya. "If any of you actually cared enough to ask, you would know what I am and what my species is like instead of the slurs Nastya uses. Now, if you would excuse me, I would like to read this book. There's new information here I was not aware of."

Nastya waits until Marius is out of earshot. "I knew they were derogatory. I didn't think they were actual slurs."

"Come to think of it, I don't actually know anything about Marius's species nor their name." Raphaella looked somewhat guilty. "I've done plenty of tests, but they never matched anything."

"I need to use his textbooks to create a translation." Ivy was already ready to rush out. "And write an apology note."

Nastya looks guilty as well. "I will help Ivy." She quickly follows behind Ivy.

.......

Ivy was at her limit. Even with Nastya and Aurora's help, she couldn't even translate one page. Whatever language Marius grew up on was so divorced from any other written tongue that she needed his help. She only heard it spoken by Marius when he was first brought here, but that was only once since she avoided him till he spoke common. Fuck no wonder why he sounds so fucking stupid he has to translate everything from his own language. It's time to bite the bullet she had to make this up to Marius.

Marius was crouched from what Ivy could see in his infirmary. "There, you really need to stop hurting yourself and let yourself rest more like this. So what if you can't pilot like this? We don't have any destination, and Aurora is perfectly fine finding her way."

"Marius?" Ivy blinks as Marius stands up, then Brian in his creature form gets up.

"Hello Ivy, do you need a check-up?" Marius smiles. "Just wait a moment. I was just finishing a little project for Brian. Jonny is going to finish the actual fabric part." He pulls out a very large metal outline of a dog bed. Brian proceeds to take it tail, wagging and drags it out. "Brian, it's not... whatever, I think he might need to scent it with his own scent. Anyway, that just leaves you, Ivy. What do you need?"

"Teach me your language." Ivy's fins puff out. "I have to know. I tried to translate it using one of your books. I just. Marius, please."

Marius raised a brow. "You want to learn?" He takes a breath. "I would be petty and say too late after everything, but I'm not that kind of person." He watches Ivy relax. "However, I can only teach you verbally and show you how to write things. I'm also not that great at common even after all this time, so things might not translate well."

"That's fine, just teach me. I want to know everything now. I'm sorry I dismissed you before. I want to know how your species survived. I want to know why there are only two habitable planets left in your star system. I want to know your speci-. " Ivy stops as Marius interrupts.

"Xeon. My species is called Xeon, and I come from the planet Xeonia." Marius takes a breath. "We'll start simple with the language. History and biology and everything else doesn't matter until you understand the language."

Ivy nods, writing the name down. "Understood, you will be my teacher."

Marius says something Ivy can't quite grasp.

"What was that?" Ivy tilted her head.

"My name." Marius smiles. "Well, the proper pronoucation of my name, at least."

"Oh!.... Oh," Ivy looked a little embarrassed. "So Baron isn't actually a title."

"Uh, I think the best translation is Byron? But Marius is still fine. That's my middle name." Marius rubs the back of his neck. "Well, let's get started."

Ivy nods.

.....

Marius did not expect to have Raphaella, Nastya, and even Aurora join. He pinched his brow. "Stop, please, that's not how you pronounce that." He proceeds to say it again and points to the words written on the board. "You're stressing the wrong letter."

Ivy was getting frustrated, obviously not used to being able to feel emotions again. "Marius, I physically cannot replicate the noise you are making!"

"Then stick to the written word, please." Marius sighs. "Nastya, you're technically right, but be careful your accent makes it almost sound like you're being insulting. Try shortening your vowl sound. Raphaella, you're actually doing really well. Aurora, sorry I can't upload anything."

"It's ok, Marius. I am enjoying learning with my partner." Aurora pops out a metal hand to ruffle Nastya's hair.

"This is quite new for me, so thank you." Nastya smiles. "I also had no idea what I was saying was slurs. I apologize for that Marius."

"I mean, you really didn't like me, so I mean, it's not fine, but I'll live." Marius rubs the back of his neck.

Raphealla pauses. "Why is this pronounced differently but spelled the same?"

"Oh, it's the same meaning, but one is more serious than the other. Common, you would say love, and it compasses all of that, but this means the difference between liking something, a family bond, and romance, and then post heat bond." Marius then gives an example of each. "Althought the last one you would never use."

Ivy frowns. "Why? What is the importance of a heat that would change these words so dramatically?"

Marius looked uncomfortable. "It's incredibly personal, and I really don't know how to explain it to species that don't experience it." He takes a breath and wipes the board clean. He creates a small diagram of four stick figures. "This will be brief, and I will not go into any detail, and up to recently, I only thought this could only be shared within my species."

"But -" Raphaella and Ivy try to argue, but Marius cuts them off.

"No. You get this brief explanation or nothing." Marius is met with silence, so he continues. "A heat can only be triggered by the body normally the hair will trigger it when asked, or when it has decided that this is the correct one for you and it is usually never wrong in it's assumptions. The process of heat can end in two ways a successful bond or bloody battle on pure instincts, and only one will survive, and the victor will kill and eat the loser. After undergoing a successful heat, a part of each partners being will be exchanged between the pair, and they will undergo transformation. The bond can be broken by force, but that is considered a war crime and will drive both parties to madness or worse. The second way is if the partner dies and you will be considered broken and undergo a second transformation physically. You will recover and even try another heat bond, but the damage will remain, and you can never go back to before. I, however, learned recently from the book Ivy found it can happen between a Xeon and a different species. However, it's exceedingly rare, and if it doesn't work, the Xeon will kill them even if they are compatible. That's all I will say on that. Again, none of this even applies to any of you."

Ivy and Raphaella look in pain not being able to ask questions as Marius returns to the language lesson.

........

"This is the starship, Aurora. You seem to be stranded. Could we help?" Brian smiles, having won against everyone, and they had to be good guys for the next few centuries.

A woman appears on the screen she had short nubs of horns, long amber hair, and sharp teeth with pointed ears. "Oh, uh... yes?" Her common was quite broken. "Vessel injuries can't move engineer sick."

Nastya smiles. "I can fix any ship."

The woman noticed Nastya and flinched. "No no no we can wait it is ok." Wings puff out behind her. "No bother."

Nastya scowls. "Look I'm offering -"

Marius quickly dropped in speaking rapid Xeon.

The woman seemed to relax and nodded along.

Marius nods. "Ok, it's just a simple maintenance and some general repairs. Nastya, you can come if I help. Their engineer is on maternity and can not be reached."

"How did you know she's one of your species? You have similar species markers, but she has horns and wings and other things. Also, why was she scared of Nastya." Ivy had her pen in hand, having following Marius to get history.

"Nastya's species have not been kind to them, and they are wary. She's been through successful heat, and the engineer, if you listened closely, is her mate. They are expecting a third child together, and this time, their mate ended up carrying the child to term." Marius turns back to the screen and gives a thumbs up. "We can board from the left side of their ship."

Ivy writes something down.

Nastya nods. "Oh, ok. I uh you both were talking way too fast."

Marius chuckles. "No faster than you guys."

.......

"So Adelaide, what are you doing out here?" Marius smiles as she leads them to the small engine room of their modest ship.

"Oh, it is much safer for use to have children off the main hub. We have family looking after our young ones, but you know how it gets." Adelaide smiles. "If it was me like the last time, we wouldn't have to leave, but my nest still smell of our youngest and me. We weren't expecting him to carry, but surprises are welcome. Do you have a special someone you want to pop the question to?"

Marius blushes a deep purple. "Ah, I don't know he isn't... it's complicated." He leans back as Nastya begins her work. "You've got an old system."

"I call it reliable. We come from the descendants of the first to leave. Our main hub is the size of a small planet. Where do you hail? We've only ever come across a few sister ships through the ages. Of course, I wasn't even conceived yet." Adelaide laughs. "You travel with many species."

"I do." Marius smiles softly. "I'm glad to hear there's a place for us. I'm from Xeonia if you believe that. There isn't a way to convince my crew to go back or even follow you guys. It's not awful, I just get homesick."

"Xeonia?! I didn't think that was possible this far out." Adelaide wings puff out with a few feathers. "That's amazing. You must try to get to the hub, it's lovely they just got a new forest." She pauses. "She speaks quite broken, is she learning?"

Marius nods. "Ah yeah, I've been teaching a few of my crewmates. It's difficult. I don't have any books I can use, and my common is much better spoken."

"Nonsense, I have my children's books here you can have them. You've got one of those colonizers to learn our tongue. I can get more." Adelaide switches to common. "Get books be back." She rushed off.

Marius smiles, watching Nastya walk back into view. "Did you finish?"

"No, but I'm nearly done. I got bits and pieces. However, what did she mean by hub?" Nastya raised a brow.

"I wasn't the lucky ones who got to flee when the war began, but there were ships, massive ships that woukd rival continents that left, filled with as much as the population it could carry." Marius sighs. "I don't actually mean war, but I don't know how to translate this uh invasion, scarcity?" He looks a bit frustrated. "It doesn't matter now it's so long ago I don't even know if Xeonia is still standing or Thanos. There's these ships, and most of my kind is spread among the stars, but they made a new planet."

"Hmmm, I'll get Aurora to head over there. I'm sure Ivy and Raphaella will be ecstatic at the chance to see more of your kind." Nastya smiles. "I would be as well."

Adelaide returns with a massive stack of thick books. "Take take! These are all of them. Please take them as payment."

Nastya returns to her work as Marius takes the books.

"Thank you." Marius smiles. "Thank you so much."

.......

"Why does it smell like this?" Nastya choked back a gag as they arrived back on Aurora.

"I don't ask you why your homemade food smells like it does." Marius puts the stack of books down. "Just give it here. I'll keep it in my room. It's not like any of you guys can eat it."

"What makes you so confident?" Nastya raised a brow as Ivy rushed the pile of books.

"These are all language books?" Ivy's pupils stretch as she grabs them and rush to her archive.

"Oh, what smells like death?" Raphaella flies at Marius, who pulls the food away.

"My meals for the week fuck off." Marius huffs.

Raphaella grins. "How about I test it? You can eat the rest."

Nastya steps between them. "Relax, there's a hub a man made planet of the Xeon species nearby."

"Why didn't you say that sooner?" Raphaella gasps. "A bigger sample size! Actual results!"

Marius sighs as Aurora chirps as Nastya puts the coordinates in. He shakes his head, slipping out so he can enjoy his food in peace. He can't recall the last time he had a homecooked meal from his home, well, something close enough."

.........

Jonny hopped on the bed next to Marius. "You ran out of there fast. Got spooked by seeing another one of your kind?"

Marius shakes his head. "No, I just." He sighs. "I haven't been able to have a proper conversation in my tongue since I was taken aboard. She was so casual and kind. None of use ever wanted to leave in the beginning, but that is always how it goes. My mech wasn't built for combat. I..." He rubs the growing tears on his face. "It was a long time ago. I suppose the truth will stay with me." He gently touches his metallic arm. "I would have just been another casualtie."

"So what is that?" Jonny interrupts pointing at the plate of food.

"Ah, I've forgotten the name, but something I've always wanted to try, but we never did have enough food. The trick is you have to keep the meat cold so it doesn't turn to sludge." Marius smiles. "You can't have it..." He cuts a small piece and eats it. His tears burned a hole in his shirt. He takes a breath. "Nastya may take Aurora to the hub."

"The hub? The ship wasn't alone?" Jonny raised a brow as Marius continued to eat.

"No, not at all it was a simple maternity ship. She called it a makeshift planet, and they even built a forest." Marius hums. "It's an accumulation of the original ships. Well, not all of them, but they made a new planet." He smiles. "I would love to visit."

"We will visit, and we have to behave thanks to Brian." Jonny chuckles. "Sounds like a treat. You dealt with my shithole of a planet."

"New Texas isn't that bad." Marius finished his plate.

"Well, yeah, now it ain't, when I was mortal it was." Jonny snickers. "Seriously, are you ok?"

"Just talking to her brought up some old thoughts and feelings. I'm just glad Lyf isn't here. I don't want to pressure him. There isn't a way back once it happens." Marius rubs his arm. "I rather not force him to do anything. He doesn't even like me like that." He traces the scar on his mechanism. "He made sure to show that, but I can't excatly stop my feelings or thoughts."

Jonny didn't know exactly what happened between the two, but it was right before DTTM, and Marius was inconsolable. He welcomed his death with open arms. "Well, the space cop can suck it. He won't be out here."

Marius smiles. "Thanks Jonny."

"Yeah, yeah." Jonny smiles. "Have I told you the story about the time my mom too Jack's eye?"

"Hmmm, I don't think I can recall." Marius laughs when Jonny punches him in the arm.

"Just lie and let me tell it." Jonny chuckles.

.....

Maybe he missed the fanfare the Mechs had. He's been avoiding them for an eon at this point, so he didn't think the alarms would be blazing when he boarded Aurora. Lyf covered his ears. He made sure to visit at the night cycle so Aurora wouldn't be blaring.

Jonny, tired and annoyed, trudged into the hanger and was the first to see Lyf. "The fuck do you want?"

Lyf blinked as the alarms finally stopped seeing more of them come out, everyone but the one he wanted to see. "Look, Aurora still let me on before anyone shoots."

"The fuck do you want?" Jonny repeats as guns cocking are heard.

"I wanted to apologize." Lyf raised his hands as the guns are raised. "Fuck I wanted to see Marius. Ok, I just wanted to see Marius and apologize. I fucked up. I ruined it. It took me so long because I'm an idiot."

"You said it, not me." Jonny motions to everyone to put their guns down. "Wait.... where is Marius?"

Aurora chirps. "It appears he is still asleep. He claims he has been feeling off. He thinks it was from the gift of food, but he has looked healthier since eating it, and he finished it within two days. His body is most likely trying to process proper food for his species that he hasn't had since he arrived. I've been reading many of his scanned books from his own library since I now have a translation key."

"He never sleeps through your alarms." Nastya frowns.

"I'll check on him in the morning." Raphaella yawns.

Tim has already fallen back asleep standing up. The only tell is that his gun fell to his side.

Ashes groans. "Fucking next time do it when we aren't all out cold."

TS beams. "I Shall Show You Back To Your Quarters!"

Lyf tried to argue as TS dragged them deeper into Aurora.

Jonny sighs. "I'll get Tim.... or fuck it." He joins Brian who has curled up next around Tim and falls on top of Brian to sleep in his fur.

.......

Lyf's throat went dry as he watched Marius enter the mess hall. He has long hair down to his middle of his back, and it looks alive as it curls. His eyes were still that beautiful amber, but he could see a ring of purple glow around the amber. He must have been wearing some cologne or perfume because he smelled really nice. The love struck gaze turned to an icy cold lump in his stomach when he saw the ugly permanent scar on his metal arm from him. He didn't even notice Marius eating something rotten and covered in mold.

Ashes cleared their throat. "Did you hear the alarms last night?"

"Mmmh?" Marius blinks, swallowing his bite. "Were there alarms?"

Ashes points to Lyf. "The damn space cop decided to hop on board, have no clue on why Aurora allowed it."

Marius blinks, seemingly finally noticing Lyf. "Oh, uh, hello, Lyfrassir."

"No Inspector Lyf?" Lyf raised a brow.

Marius shrugs. "You aren't an inspector anymore. You don't like it when I call you that."

Lyf bites his lip. "R-right. Marius I wanted to apologize."

"Stop." Marius stares at Lyf with an unreadable expression. "Just stop. You made it quite clear. I don't need you to apologize because you think you hurt my feelings. You're allowed your own feelings, and I can't change them." He mumbles something Lyf couldn't understand as he pulled his long hair back. "It's fine. You don't owe me anything." He finished his food and sighed. "Let me know when we land."

Aurora chirps and gives a thumbs up.

Lyf watches Marius leave. "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad." He groans as he covers his face.

"What did you even say to him the first time?" Ashes raised a brow. "He's always happy to see you."

"Everything awful I could think of at the time." Lyf sighs. "Wait, land? Where are you guys heading?"

"There's a hub we are approaching in about two hours." Nastya walks in. "It's a planet made up of massive ships. I'm interested in the technology."

"We have to behave so no killing or robbing, but I will be gambling because that's not illegal." Ashes huffs.

Lyf nods. "I think I'm just going to go back to my room." He slips out of the mess hall and hugs his chest. He just needed to try again. He can pair off with Marius when they land, and he'll use that.

......

Marius smiles nervously as he exited first in Aurora. He was asked to keep the others behind while he introduced them. He just wished he didn't look like such a mess. He swallows and speaks in his native tongue. "I am Byron Marius Von Raum. This is the starship Aurora. My crew is called the Mechanisms, and we are looking to dock and stay for a short time."

"Of course you and your crew are welcome." The man smiles. "I am Aiden, and welcome to the collective. I know it's a cliché name, but it's what the original agreed on. However, they will need respirators if they wish to explore below the surface." Aiden frowns, pulling Marius aside after giving a all clear and to speak common. "Why are you out in such a condition? I understand that, as you explained, you're the only Xeon on your crew, but you should be isolated."

"Isolated?" Marius swallows. "I'm fine, I'm just a bit off it's fine."

Aiden didn't look convinced as he gently rolled a bracelet around Marius's wrist with a plus. "This will alert them if anything happens. You should be careful and have no stressful activities. You should really check out our heat center. It's not healthy to be teetering like this."

Marius groans, covering his face. He had a heat syndrome. It was taught to him before puberty. It's a dangerous state you could find yourself in if you never triggered your heat or if you purposely stopped having it regularly. It's been fucking eons and he assumed the damn mechanism stopped it. It's been a few million years. "I... I think..."

Lyf interrupted, adjusting the respirator on his face. He grabs Marius's hand. "Come on, everyone else paired up and headed off. I want to see a manmade forest. It's not even green. Can you believe that?"

Marius swallows following along, thankful for the bracelete. He watched Aiden say something into a device as he listened to Lyf ramble.

.......

"This is not a forest." Lyf tilted his head, staring at the grotesque flesh like trunks with silver metallic leaves. They were everywhere.

Marius realized Lyf never let go of his hand. He pulled away and swallowed the rising nausea. Now that he knew why he felt wrong, it made sense, but he really would rather just go to the heat center, but he couldn't just explain that to Lyf. "Lyfrassir, these were native to my planet. If it was a night cycle, you would be able to see them glow."

"Glow?" Lyf tried to reach out again, but Marius stepped away. He smelled really nice, too. Why could he smell that through the respirator? "They're from your native planet?"

"Yeah, these ships came from there. It's the first time I've been around my species like this since I was taken on Aurora." Marius could feel a wetness drip from his hair. He had to be careful and figure out a way to get distance between them. He stiffens, hearing a deep inhale close to him. When did Lyf get this close?

Lyf hums content. "I have to ask what is this cologne, perfume, or whatever it is. It smells quite nice."

Marius could feel a creeping blush as the back of his shirt got more wet. "You can smell that? You like it?"

"Of course I can, and yeah, I like it. Why wouldn't I like it?" Lyf had a mild look of concern as he watched Marius look embarrassed and concerned himself.

"You shouldn't like it! You shouldn't even be able to smell it! Fuck!" Marius pushed Lyf away. He could feel his hair get restless. "N-no... get away! Just fucking go!" He painfully grabbed his hair and pulled. He used his metal hand and could feel his own hair betray him even in pain they drilled into his hand. The venom was like fire.

Lyf takes a breath. "Marius for fucks sake!" He completely misreading the situation and rushed forward removing the respirator. He hissed in pain, feeling Marius's hair dig into his neck as he locked their lips together. He felt teeth dig into his own lip. When were Marius's teeth so sharp? They never looked sharp.

Marius groans, his knees nearly buckled. His hair dug into his neck as soon as he lost his grip from shock. Everything was on fire as the pair hit the floor, something ice cold went into his wrist as his vision went black.

.......

Lyf's ears were ringing, and all he felt was empty. He finally came back to his scenes and looked around. His body felt like it was full of static. He sat up, gripping his head. "What?"

"Aha, good, you're awake!" An accent not made for common drew Lyf's attention. "Good news, he didn't kill you, and even better news we got there just in time to separate you two from anything permanent from happening. I understand you are probably very confused, but we managed to pump your system so you didn't die from the venom. You seem to be a mix of miguardian and juton, so we managed to get some of our reserves to give you fresh fluids and blood."

Lyf furrowed his brows. "How did.... no what happened?" He could see dried rainbow static on his arm by the iv and bandages.

The man takes a breath. "Your crew mate was in what we call a heat syndrome. It comes from never experiencing your heat or activtively suppressing it for long periods. You unfortunately got caught in the middle of it. It went past the tipping point, and the little safety bracelet we gave him managed to stop it long enough that we could get you to a hospital. The area your crewmate is in has been blocked off until his heat has run its course, and then we will give him a separate examination and just let him go with a clear bill of health."

"I don't know what that means." Lyf rubs his temples. This doctor didn't even seem scared of the rainbow static blood he had. He doesn't know what heat means. "I have to get back to him."

"No, no, no. That would be a disaster. He is incredibly dangerous and not of sound mind till his heat passes. I understand he is your friend, but it would be like signing your death warrant." The doctor takes a breath and taps his chart.

"But it's a rule we pair up." Lyf bites his lip. He didn't want to make a scene or kill anyone, but he had an urge to see Marius again. It was as if a sudden heat flared to life in his gut, and he crossed his legs. "We do it to keep each other safe."

The doctor pauses. "Is it too hot? You seem to be flushed." He seemingly was testing something, but Lyf had no patience to deal with anything vague.

Lyf growls. "No!... I..." He takes a breath, holding his head, hoping the pressure would clear his head that suddenly felt wrong. He knows he fucked up forcing himself on Marius. His heat was probably a defense mechanism he triggered like a fucking idiot. The heat in his guts seemed to travel lower, and he crossed his legs harder. "I just have... I have to... fuck..." He wanted Marius. He wanted to show him how sorry he was. He wanted... fuck he didn't know what he wanted it was getting too hot and all he knew is that Marius could fix this. Marius is a doctor. He needed Marius.

The doctor turns and rushes to the door, shouting something Lyf doesn't understand at all.

.......

Jonny frowns at more unanswered calls. He taps his foot, annoyed. He tries once more with the others staring at him, they were ushered back on Aurora to sleep just to avoid health risks, and they had to play long. Finally, someone picked up, but they were speaking Xeon. He grits his teeth and hates to speak Marius's tongue because his New Texas accent comes out full force. Fuck it. "This is Jonny D'ville of the Aurora, and whoever is on this line better tell me why my crewmate isn't answering."

Ivy stared slack jaw at Jonny. "You're fucking fluent?"

"What the fuck?" Nastya pinched her brow. "You liar."

Jonny gives the others the finger to stop the chatter. "Oh... ok... are you sure? I see. I had a feeling, but it's his own private business... I understand.... ok.... yeah, I'm aware of that chance.... i.... ok.... I'll tell tell them to stay away.... I will give him my congratulations when they are finished.... yeah, there's a reason for that.... oh, you already know.... yes, he is... no, I don't believe that would affect that.... right, thank you." He clicks off his device and takes a breath.

"So?" Raphaella raised a brow.

"Personal, incredibly personal. Marius won't even talk about this shit to me. Aurora, make sure Lyf's room merges with Marius's. Fuck." Jonny rubs his face. "That wasn't a fucking suggestion, Aurora."

Nastya furrows her brows. "Jonny what the fuck is this about?"

"Heat, Nastya. Marius went into heat." Jonny runs his hands through his hair. "Stepping anywhere close will get you shot Raphaella if Marius doesn't kill you first. Do you have any idea how incredibly important this is to Marius's species? It's the one fucking thing Marius has kept tight lipped about. I know you fucking took the books out Ivy." He takes a deep breath. "Aurora have you even started?"

"Yes, Captain!" Aurora chirps back. "I have been connected to their main hub of information. Are you sure it is Lyf?"

Nastya knew nobody called Jonny, Captain, unless it was serious. "Aurora, what do you mean?"

"I did my own exploring. If what Jonny says is true, the rooms must be combined. I shall answer any and all questions in regards to this Raphaella and Ivy. You will not bother Marius, or I will cut off your air supply until you behave." Aurora chirps.

"I need a fucking smoke." Jonny huffed.

Tim rushed after Jonny. He knew about Marius. He wasn't as close to him as Jonny was, but they were still close enough. Marius told him things about his own kind.

"What is a heat?" Ashes raised their brow. "Does he spontaneously combust?"

"No, however, it is an inherited biological process. In a sense, Marius's sentient mind has been shut off. He is running on the hormones and instincts that pilot his body at the moment. He will not remember anything that is occurring during this period, and hopefully, Lyf will not as well. You can consider it sexual, sex is involved, but it's more of a way to kickstart the whole biology aspect to take place. Down to the chromosome, an exchange will take place a piece of Marius, and a piece of Lyf will swap places in as gruesome of a way as you can imagine. This is more worrying because Lyf is infected with Yog Sogoth, so there is no telling what will happen. You can not stop the process once it starts it will permanently disfigure both of them if attempted. Once the process has ended, both men will begin to change physically, biologically, and instinctually as well. Although this is a rarity between Xeon and a different species, it is not unheard of. Now, any changes to either man can't be stopped. Any attempts will not be tolerated, and I will kill you if you even try Raphaella and throw you out of the airlock."

Raphealla steps back from the weapon Aurora produced. "Understood."

"Any pressure on Marius from any of you will result in a complete isolation from myself and the rest of the crew until I decided you have learned your lesson." Aurora chirps cheerfully. "This process is terrifying, but is considered a badge of honor for Xeons and is highly respected, and honestly, the more I learn about his species, I am terrified of them. The entire reproduction process is dangerous for everyone but the expecting parent. It explains why the couple were on maternity leave on a small spaceship away from this planet. I would like quiet until I say otherwise. Don't even get me started on how they fight wars and invaders. Marius's blood alone is able to eat through my fucking hull."

Nastya has never heard Aurora sound so scared before.

Ivy in a quiet voice. "I will be in my archives reading the uploaded files." She scurries off.

Brian runs off to Jonny's room, where he knows Jonny and Tim will be.

TS grabs Raphaella to put her in her room.

Ashes lights up a cigar their hands shaking slightly.

.......

Marius opened his eyes with a groan. The last thing he could recall was that kiss and then the cold. His body hurt inside and out. He was still in the forest, which was good, he thought, but wasn't entirely certain. There was something... no someone on his chest. He looked down to see light brown hair with rainbow static like highlights. His heart sank. They didn't get Lyf away. They couldn't... he... he.

Lyf huffs and embraces Marius's tighter, flooding Marius with hormones that relax him. He hums softly with a blissed out expression on his features.

Marius took a breath he thought of his sister in this moment and her heat bond. He couldn't remember her name but it was a joyous occasion. They had nothing, but they still celebrated. He couldn't imagine that now. He forced this on Lyf. He couldn't fucking stop himself. He was a monster.

Lyf groans and furrows his brows waking up. He was on someone he could hear an odd rhythm of what he can assume is a heartbeat. He wasn't actually certain it didn't sound normal or healthy. The heat was finally gone. He didn't feel like he was being cooked from the inside out. He spots the glint of a familair metal arm and sighs in relief. He knew it, he knee he just needed Marius and it would fix it. Whatever it was, it was done. He pulled himself to sit up straddling mari- Byron.... ma- Byron... he furrowed his brows staring down at Mar- Byron, whose eyes were lit up purple.

Marius stared up at Lyf, whose expression went from content to confusion. "Lyfrassir?"

Lyf frowns, knitting his brows. "Why can't I think of your name as M- Byron." He bit his lip. He took a breath. "Doctor ba- Byron Marius Von Raum. There it... fuck." He sighs. "Why can't I call you by your name?"

"That is my name." Marius swallows, trying to get used to Lyf's voice with his tongue on his lips.

Lyf stared at Marius wide-eyed. "What the fuck did you just say?"

"Byron is my name. Marius is my middle name." Marius frowns. "I'm sorry."

"Stop." Lyf takes a breath. That was old Norse. Ma- Byron doesn't know old Norse. He grabbed Byron's face. "Say something else."

"I'm sorry?" Marius raised a brow. Lyf's hands were soft. "Lyfrassir, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything, all of this, us."

"I think my brain melted when my insides were on fire in the hospital." Lyf rubbed his temples. "I know for a fact you don't know old Norse."

It was Marius's turn to look confused sitting up now. Lyf was in his lap. "No. No Lyfrassir that isn't right there wasn't a hospital we're still in the forest."

Lyf held onto Byron. "No? Your weird bracelet started to make a loud siren noise. And your hair was alive. I think it bit me too. I woke up in the hospital, and a doctor was talking about how they saved me and how your heat had to run its course. Then something in my stomach started to get hot as he kept arguing with me that it wasn't safe for me to find you, and Yog Sogoth won't let me die but I didn't tell him that, but it just kept getting hotter and hotter and it felt like my body was set on fire on the inside. Then the doctor got a pale expression and ran by the door and shouted something I didn't know I couldn't understand. All I knew was that you would be able to fix it."

"You made it to the hospital." Marius repeats.

"Yes, as I said, I made it to the hospital by force, and they even said they pumped my system. I really don't think so because they would have had questions about the rainbow static that is my blood. They didn't even question it." Lyf sighs. "What's with that look?"

Marius swallows. "You reciprocated on your own. You..." He smiles as relief floods his system. "Your body mimicked mine even after everything I did was removed. You..." He laughs like the weight of the world was gone. He pulls Lyf into a tight hug. "I didn't... I didn't force anything."

"Force what?" Lyf was getting over what he was hearing as more senses returned to him. "Why am I sticky? Why do I hurt everywhere? Ma- Byron where the fuck are our clothes?" Wait! Fuck! Byron, your arm!" He stared at Byron's metal arm it seemed to have spread upward just above his elbow with metal veins like a virus.

Marius furrowed his brows as he followed Lyf's gaze. He swallows, tracing his hand over the new metal. "I don't know. I... Lyf, my memory is from when you kissed me until we woke up together is just gone." He wasn't concerned by that in the slightest. It was expected, and to remember, your heat is considered a curse. He did feel slightly queasy, and he knew the changes were about to start. "Just..." He lays back down, taking Lyf with him in a bear hug. "Breathe with me."

"Byron, what... oh, that doesn't feel right." Lyf was getting a bit uncomfortable. It wasn't a heat this time but something clicking into place, and his whole body felt some sort of shockwave. He dies his best to match Byron's breathing before his eyelids grow heavy and he is gone.

........

Jonny crossed his arms as Tim stood behind him. "Byron Marius Von Raum. I know he's in the recovery wing with his mate Lyfrassir Edda."

Tim really liked Jonny's accent when he spoke Xeon. He, however, had no idea what the shorter man was saying. Brian was with them in his creature form because he could pass for a therapy animal, and Marius and Lyf were only allowed two visitors at a time.

The receptionist smiles. "You must be Jonny D'ville and Timothy Stoker. I must say your Xeon is perfect. I'm impressed it's not an easy language to learn." She taps away at the computer and smiles. "The security guards will guide you, Lyfrassir seems to be awake, and reading his help books we provided, Byron is fixing up his temporary nest at the moment trying to get comfortable. Did you start the required changes to their barracks in order for them to return to your ship?"

"Yes, the rooms have been combined, but no other changes since it's both of their stuff. The beds were removed and replaced with building material for their own permanent nest." Jonny pulls out a few photos. "Is this enough? We've been working together, but we won't know until Byron sees it."

"Oh, this is more than satisfactory. You must be quite close with your crew, captain." the receptionist hands over three visitor badges.

"I'm not...." Jonny shakes his head. "Thank you, Byron is like my brother, that's all."

A large security guard in dense armor approaches. "Follow me, and do not deviate. Not everyone recovering is sound of mind yet."

Jonny nods and motions for Tim and Brian to follow.

......

Marius sighs, throwing pillows and blankets aside. This was all wrong it didn't smell right or feel right. He rubbed his temples, hospital remember you're in recovery this isn't home this isn't.... he rubbed his face and took a breath, looking back at Lyf, who was curled up against a few pillows, reading intensely. Mate was safe. Lyf was fine. A new noise made him turn and growl at the door opening.

"Relax, relax..." A security personal bows to show no desire to fight. "Byron, two of your crewmates and a therapy creature have requested to join you in here with your mate."

Marius looked over to Lyf, who nodded and shut his book. "I... yes, of course." His voice was hoarse, and he tried to get his body to relax. He relaxes more, spotting Jonny and Tim with Brian.

The security officer smiles, shutting the door behind the three.

Jonny carefully made his way over to Marius. "Hey, how are you holding up?"

"I'm sore uncomfortable, and my head is swimming in an ocean of hormones." Marius motions for Jonny to sit next to him.

Lyf raised a brow. "What is that? Did you kidnap some sort of creature?"

Tim snorts. "Ah, I knew we forgot something. Nah, that's Brian."

"Isn't he supposed to be metal? Bipedal?" Lyf blinks watching the creature vanish in black smoke revealing Brian.

"It's complicated." Brian rubs the back of his neck.

Marius growls. "Back away."

Brian holds his hands up and steps back from Lyf. "Sorry, sorry."

"No... I." Marius groans, rubbing his temples. "Just... please just keep a distance from Lyfrassir."

Jonny shakes his head. "Stop that. You can't excatly fight the fucked up instincts till you're more stable. How's your arm?"

"It's sore, but it's not painful, just new." Marius hums. "So how did you get Raphaella from coming?"

"Aurora trapped her in her lab." Tim hims. "I may have also shot her. Ivy's been in her archive with Nastya, going over everything they can about your species. Ashes is collecting what they can go around this place. Aurora is keeping TS from cleaning your new combined room with Lyf."

Lyf nods. "I'm nowhere near the level of uh weird. Mar- Byron is at the moment." He sighs. "They won't even like me braid my hair! I can handle m- Byron rearranging everything every five minutes, even the weird food that I will not consider as meat, but it's my hair!"

Marius looked away, trying to bite back a small smile. "That his been his only complaint. Unfortunately, Lyfrassir still doesn't believe that Xeon hair is alive, and that is just a safety concern."

"Says the man who got a haircut!" Lyf had a matching small smile.

"I didn't get a haircut." Marius finally smiles without hiding. His hair was like a buzz cut showing off two nubs of horns that barely broke the surface of his scalp. "I'm keeping to this short for a reason."

Jonny hums. "So horns, will they be long enough for some headbutting?"

"The correct question, will your skull be thick enough to do that." Brian adds. "I'm sure we have lost count of how many times Tim has had his skull caved in from Jonny's headbutts."

Marius shrugs. "I don't know yet, but you will be the first to know." He shifts in his spot. "I can answer any questions right now. I know you guys won't be bad about it like Raphaella or Ivy, I love them, but this isn't exactly something I'm ready to be overwhelmed with."

"I have a question. Why do some of your species have wings, and the others don't? The other features seem to vary wildy. Do you have subspecies within your population? Is it from breeding with other species?" Brian scratches his chin.

Marius could feel laughter bubble in his chest. He got up just being in his boxers was the only piece of clothing he could manage at the moment. It was obvious that the fat on his body was being burned faster than it could be replaced, so he was much more muscular. He turned to show Brian his back. "They're coming in slowly, but as you can see, they are developing." On his lower back, two red swollen lines are forming. There is only slight movement under the skin. "There isn't subspecies or cross breeding. It's just the difference between before a shared heat and after." He turns back around, and looking closer, there is a new thin line across his stomach. It's impossible to tell at this point what that could be, but it was clearly there. Other parts, such as his knees shoulders and elbows, seemed extra calloused, his upper chest and upper back seemed to be slightly darker, and his legs seemed to be growing more hair than normal. He sits back down, holding his tail.

"Oh." Brian swallows. "Are you alright? It can't be pleasant."

Marius shakes his head. "It's normal, and it's only a little uncomfortable. Our bodies are built for this transformation, and it's still way too early to tell what I'll actually look like when this is over. I don't even know if I'll have fur or feathers for my wings. Lyfrassir will get wings, too. That's why he's sitting like that."

"I really rather not think about it, and I'm still going through the help books since I'm not the same species. M- Byron has been quite helpful, but I'm willing to take this over the bifrost or Yog Sogoth any day of the week. It's not the worst thing in the universe." Lyf was curled on his side, and the stack of books was much higher than first glances as he moved a blanket aside.

"What's with the speech thing?" Tim crossed his arms.

Marius chuckles softly. "Lyfrassir can't call me by my middle name anymore, it seems. Oh, before you ask, I can still refer to him as Lyf, but it annoys him if I use his full name."

Lyf rolls his eyes. "I never said it annoyed me. It just sounds odd with your accent being more pronounced than it was before."

"They've given Aurora a more permanent space to dock as you recover. Nastya is using it to do more repairs and upgrades." Jonny pauses. "Do you want us to tell them anything?"

Marius shakes his head. "No, there isn't anything to say. This is a normal process it just takes time." He smiles softly. "Thank you for visiting."

"Actually, I do have a request." Lyf sits up. "Can you guys figure out why none of them freaked out seeing my blood?"

Jonny blinks, clearly not expecting that. "Excuse me?"

Brian looked slightly intrigued. "I'll ask Ivy about what she has researched so far. There seems to be a massive centralized archive system for historians I believe here."

"That does seem weird because you're still glowing like static." Tim looked away to readjust his eyes.

"I don't think it's that serious." Marius bites back a yawn. "But now you have me curious. Tell me when you visit again."

The door swings open with the security officer. Brian barely switches back barely fast enough. "Times up."

.......

Ivy walked up to the desk. She must admit she was impressed and excited. This was an entire archive based on a historians work, who still continues to update this. She had her notes ready and questions written out to get access. The Lyf situation was incredibly odd, but this historian was much more interesting. She also had to stop getting into the Xeon species because she was growing more and more worried for Marius. Pesky emotions will only halt her progress, and she also really needs a distraction. It's not because she misses and is worried about Marius. Definitely not.

The nameplate as the man sat at the desk read archivist Donnie, there was a note written next to it stating the historian is back and you must make a compelling essay for her to even consider meeting you, unless you are a child. The man sits up and puffs out his feathery wings. "Good morning! It's not often we get outsiders who wish to browse the archives. How can I help you? Are there any particular requests?"

Ivy hands a piece of paper to them. "I do not have the vocal cords to correctly communicate in your language. However, I am fluent. I am Ivy Alexandria, part of the Mechanisms who come from our ship, the Aurora. I am here to study as much as I can from this archive. I merely want directions to the oldest works, and I will continue from there."

Donnie pursed his lips, his tail moving rapidly behind him. "Your name is familiar...." He turns and begins to go through a few files. "Aha! The Mechanisms, your file is ongoing and quite unbelievable, but I digress. I have been told that if any of you specifically from this group, if you are who you claim to be, can speak to the historian directly if you so desire. If not, I can give you the directions and a much stronger respirator. The oldest we have are at the very bottom, and you'll need something stronger if you hope to be able to breathe."

Ivy paused. The author is here, and it could be useful to speak to them directly. There is clearly something off. No mortal would be able to write all this in a lifetime no matter how long lived the species is. It could be a title for a group carrying this legacy, but how would they observe other cultures and write such detailed history such as this. She pulls out her pen and writes in big letters. "I would like to meet the historian."

Donnie perked up. "Of course! Follow me, or I can carry you to her office."

Ivy points at him, and it gets the message across as she is picked up and flown to a high office. The aged door had a worn metal plate that read Misery, historian.

Donnie rings an old rusted bell next to the door. "Lady Misery, I have one Ivy Alexandria, who claims is a part of the Mechanisms of the Starship Aurora."

Heavy footsteps and the old door is swung open as the hinges whine in resistance. A woman towers over Ivy and Donnie. Her horns were oddly curved. Her eyes were silver, and her ears were more pointed. Her hair was long black and draped over her shoulders like silk. Her tail seemed reinforced even more dangerous. She was in a Lolita style dress it was pink and purple. Her chest of the skin showing was armored. The most glaring curiosity was her wings they were hairless leathery and covered in unblinking eyes. "A mechanism?" She switched to common. "You do match the descriptions of who you claim to be." She switches back to Xeon. "Donnie, leave us be. Miss Ivy and I shall be in a meeting."

Donnie nods and heads back down.

Ivy is pulled inside the office by Misery. It was a larger office than she expected. It was organized. There was a small nest in the corner and an open notebook on the desk.

"Where are my manners? My name is Misery. My last name doesn't matter anymore with how long it's been. I am the acolyte to- " Ivy gets a ringing in her ears from the name. "So I've been immortal as well. That isn't important either. However, I've been trying to get an interview with any of you Mechanisms for ages. I love your work keeping history alive of civilizations that no longer exist it's quite nice to hear the tales portrayed as you guys do."

Ivy blinks. She had an incomprehensible amount of questions, but one was the most pressing. "Immortal?"

"Oh yes!" Misery takes a seat at her desk. "Like Lyfrassir Edda. He is the acolyte to Yog Sogoth, which means he can not die or age anymore, and if the god were to be killed, he would replace them like I would be if my god died. I have met many other acolytes, but I've only heard about Lyfrassir. I've even met the God Killer she was a real treat. You would just love her tale. I'm rambling, and I apologize."

That answered more questions than Ivy was prepared to get, but also led to even more questions. "I would like to know everything, I want the files, I want all the information you have on disks to process myself in my own archive. Tell me, is all of this work yours?"

"Yes, it is, and that will take a bit. I do have a backup hard drive, but it is a few tons. I try to observe the best I can without interfering. If not, I get first-hand accounts and stories from the citizens I observe. My work is a mere fraction of the universe because I am only one being doing this recording. I take pride in my work as a historian." Misery smiles. "I will share mine if you share your archives with me."

"Yes! I mean, of course. Exchanging information will be helpful to both of us." Ivy smiles wider than she is used to excitement threatening to overheat her mechanism.

"First, I have to ask what brings you and your crew to this collective, and why are you staying?" Misery pulls out a new notebook and a pen.

"Marius, our crewmate, the ship's doctor. He's a Xeon and wished to visit, and we were curious to learn about his species and history. I was, at least. Raphaella wanted a large sample size of the Xeon species. We were all curious. However, Marius went through a successful heat with Lyf, so he is in recovery until further notice. So we will be staying until he is recovered." Ivy hums.

Misery finished writing and paused. "Lyfrassir Edda is here as well and went through the heat bond with Marius. I must give my congratulations to them. It's exceedingly rare for a Xeon and a different species to be successful together if it's reciprocate. Xeons are nortiously toxic to every other species." She hums, tapping her pen against the notebook. "Ask me anything. I'm happy to share my knowledge and observations. Being an acolyte means I have a memory that doesn't fade, so I remember everything since I've been changed by the god."

Ivy nods. "I can not forget either due to my mind being a machine. Let us begin, and them we shall discuss the manner of sharing our data."

"Of course." Misery smiles wide equally excited.

......

Lyf was incredibly uncomfortable. He was informed in great detail that the changes his body is experiencing wouldn't be pleasant. He was prepared for that, but he felt disgusting, he hasn't been able to shower or take care of his hair. His back was pulsating with just pure agony. He knew it would be any day his wings would burst from his skin. Byron wasn't in better shape. His mind had switched off to an animal mind. Food had to be given through a reinforced door that was already showing heavy damage from Byron.

Lyf could see the hair on Byron's legs were now like fur and a thick coat that traveled just barely to his hips. His back had two open sores his wings were just poking out they were slowly coming out, and it was quite bloody. The line across his stomach has gotten darker and seems to be splitting open. His tail seemed sharper and longer. The spines on his shoulders can in threes, and there were matching ones on his elbows and knees. If he was in pain, he couldn't say it. He was reduced to low growls, clicks, and purring.

Speaking of which, Marius had crawled over to Lyf's side. He quietly made some clicking noises.

"Byron, please, I'm not in the moOD! FUCK!" The pain was as over as fast as it happened. The pressure was gone, and Lyf felt a weight on his back. "Byron, what the... Oh! Ooo, never.... ooo, that feels nice." Heblays on his stomach, feeling Byron's hands comb through his new wings. It felt amazing and almost made up for no showers or hair care.

Marius chirpped along as he cleaned and preened Lyf's new wings. He isn't aware that Lyf had fallen asleep.

.......

Jonny pinched his brow. "The only reason I'm allowing you to visit is because Marius requested to speak to you. I hope that historian friend of Ivy's taught you manners." He crossed his arms, tapping his foot.

"Her name is Misery." Raphaella says with a shit eating grin. "I'll be on my best behavior. Marius is my friend too. This is just so fascinating."

"And personal." Jonny sighs as the pair is lead down the halls. He noticed that the door seemed to be reinforced again.

"Ah, don't worry about it. Your friend is just stronger than we counted for no real damage done. Minimum injuries when he broke the door. I must ask about the metal arm. However, I have never seen a replacement adapt to a Xeon before. We normally have to replace them after a heat." The security office hums as they open the door. "I'm staying close, so if anything goes wrong, we'll be here. Byron was quite insistent for visitors against recommendation."

Marius was grooming his new thick fur on his legs. He seems to be much more flexible than before. Lyf was watching, not even noticing the door was opened.

Raphealla flew inside and was slammed back against the metal wall just as fast. "Fascinating!"

Marius growls, one hand was around Raphaella neck, his wings stretched out and puffed out with the fur standing on edge. His eyes glow a dark purple before he blinks and staggers back, letting go. "Don't..." He rubs his face. "Raph, stay away from Lyf, please."

Jonny gives a look. "Did you really want her here?"

Marius sighs and steps back. "Y-yeah. Can't excatly go back without a stress test."

"He's lying. He wants Raphaella to look at his arm." Lyf huffs annoyed his show was taken away. He really wanted to see just how flexible Byron got.

Marius gives a sheepish look and sighs. "Yeah, Lyfrassir, right." He holds up his mechanical arm. It has indeed adapted mimicking his flesh arm with the new spines, along with the spread that Raphaella wasn't aware of. His flesh arm was discolored up to his elbow. The skin seemed to be getting darker, maybe even thicker like scaled armor. "It's never changed before, and I know Brian's is adapting to how he looked to before he was alive, but I just want to make sure I didn't truly ruin it. Lyfrassir informed me I did pump a lot of venom into the arm, and it doesn't excatly interact great with metal."

Raphealla expression flickers between concern and curiosity. "May I get closer? I know I rushed in here, but we all know how serious that assumption is."

Marius nods, stepping away from Lyf and motions for Raph to approach. "It's gotten a bit more sensitive and uh active."

Jonny keeps an eye on the two leaning back on the wall. Everyone on Aurora knew Carmillia was black out drunk when she grabbed Marius, cutting off his arm to replace it. Everyone also knew his arm had a mind of its own like it was alive. Marius even had to coax it to do any type of maetience on the damn thing.

"I don't trust the doctors or mechanics here to even touch it. You know how that went on New Asguard." Marius didn't have to look to know Lyf paled considerably.

Raph nods, gently reaching out to look over the mechanical arm. "I wasn't allowed my tools, so this will just be a surface glance." She watched Marius nod as he held out the arm. "It's a bit brighter colorwise, and huh, the metal seems even stronger. The spread needs to be looked into. I'll talk to Nastya and Brian about that. The spikes seem to be a mix of your biological material and the metal on your elbow, at least. Is this painful?" She pressed into the metal arm.

"No, but I can feel that you increased the pressure. It feels entirely like my normal flesh arm. There isn't a delay in sensations anymore." Marius pulled his arm back, flexing his hand.

"Wait, do that again." Raphaella tilts her head.

"Do what?" Marius raised a brow as his mechanical hand is grabbed.

"There seems.... AHA! There seems to be a lens in your palm now. It opened like it's looking." Raphaella traces long the lense till a new slit opens, pricking her fingers, and she pulls away. "I think your hand bit me."

"Bit you?" Marius brings his palm to his face. The lens was still open, but he could see an outline of what appears to be a new slit. He brings up his other palm to compare and sees the same slit and he could open it to show teeth and a tongue. He stared blankly at both of his hands and then traced his stomach where the new large slit was. The subtle movement clicked in his head what was underneath. That would be dangerous, very dangerous. He takes a breath. "So it's mimicking my other hand?"

Raphealla gasps seeing the mouth on Marius's flesh hand. "When did you get that?! Can you eat from it? Will you eat from it?"

Marius chuckles. "Now that I know my mechanism is breaking." He looks over to Jonny, who had a small smirk on his lips. "Maybe? I haven't actually tried. You should be more concerned with my stomach, actually."

"Oh?" Raphaella crouched down to be eye level with the slit on Marius's stomach. "What does it do?"

"If my memory serves me right, which as you guys say it doesn't, but if I'm right, my stomach is becoming a creature in itself. It's rare, but in a successful heat, organs can become sentient and become like pets in a sense." Marius scratches his beard. "Probably shouldn't be so close before I manage to take it to tolerate others."

"Now you're just fucking with us." Lyf groans.

"As cool as that sounds, you're just full of shit." Jonny chuckles. "Fuck imagine having a living... oh #$@%@$!" He managed to combine several different languages curse words into one messed up sentence as Marius pulled open the seem.

Raphealla stumbles back and maybe shreiks.

Marius looks down to see a worm mixed with a snake and scorpion creature slowly climbing out. It's covered in slime and neon green blood. "Oh, I was right! Hello there, little guy." He makes a shuddered moan as it crawls back inside, and the slit closes. "Ah, not ready to explore. That's ok, give me time to think of a name." He rubs his stomach, and a soft chittering is heard.

"I think I figured out my limit." Raphaella stands back up. "Living organs, I can't believe that's where I draw the line after all this time." She runs her hands through her hair. "I... what the fuck. What the fuck? What the actual fuck."

"I would say I'm shocked, but I did see it crawl out of Byron's flesh when he slept through dinner the other day. I thought I was hallucinating. Apparently, I was not." Lyf takes a breath. "That thing is fucking terrifying."

"Don't be mean." Marius huffs.

Jonny rubs his eyes. "For fucks sake. A little more warning would be nice. I think I called it a slur."

"You did." Marius hums. "However, I have no idea what else you shouted."

"I have several questions." Raphaella paused. "That i will ask later. I need to... I need to read more about your species."

"I never thought I would see the day where Raphaella was left speechless in the face of the unknown." Jonny shakes his head. "Fuck now I have to actually talk to this historian."

"Historian?" Lyf raised a brow.

"Oh, you'll meet her once you're out of this place." Jonny smirks. "Misery loves company." He laughs.

"Historian of what?" Marius raised his brow, walking and sitting next to Lyf.

"Everything, I suppose." Jonny shrugs. "Apparently, she's like Lyf, which means a god picked her and won't let her age or die. So what she has been doing is recording different species till their end, or she gets discovered and can't be out of the picture."

"So she's an acolyte." Lyf hums. "I met others like me in our separate travels. I've even met the god killer. Although I don't know what she is besides New Texan, and frankly, she scares me."

"You've met the god killer separately, Ivy will be pleased to know that the observations are the same." Raphaella looks over to Jonny.

"Fuck you, just because I'm New Texan doesn't mean I know every New Texan. I would remember someone known as the god killer." Jonny scoffs.

"Because her name is Valerie, only acolyte or gods refer to her as the god killer." Lyf raised his brow. "I don't go around calling myself the acolyte of Yog Sogoth. That's really fucking stupid."

"Ok fine space cop fuck off you've made your point." Jonny rolls his eyes.

"What aren't you going to make fun of the normal name for someone with that title?" Raphaella elbows Jonny.

Marius clears his throat. "So this historian, is she Xeon too?"

Jonny sighs in relief with the changes in the subject. "She is, but she calls herself broken."

Marius shifts suddenly, looking uncomfortable. "That's the proper term for a Xeon whose heat mate was killed, and they survived the changes. She probably looks stronger and more dangerous. It's not exactly a badge worn with honor, and it wouldn't be her out living them. It has to be murder plain and simple. It's never a natural death to be broken. It used to be used to strengthen the military without the knowledge of the said soldiers. I only found that out by chance...." He shakes his head. "I rather not speak of the time before my arm."

"But she would be able to go through another heat and gain another partner." Raphaella hums as Marius nods. "But that would be her choice. Is there a way for multiple to be heat bonded to one Xeon?"

"I'm not entertaining whatever you are planning." Marius growls.

Lyf rubs Byron's back. "Relax, as you informed me any forced tries will result in being eaten alive."

"We both know that won't stop her." Marius huffs.

Jonny sighs. "I'll keep an eye on her and Ivy. When the fuck are you getting out of here?"

Marius shrugs. "The bond has to finish, and my body has to plateau in its changes. I'm not quite there yet. Although I'll have longer bouts of lucidity as the end draws closer. Until...." He yawns paling as sudden exhaustion took hold of his body. "I'm done..... this is the safest and.... quickest way... I..."

Lyf grabs onto Byron. "You two should go."

Jonny and Raphaella share a glance and nod. The security guard grabs the two and take them out.

......

"Oh, that is quite special. Has your fired name it yet?" Misery smiles, carrying a two ton server on her back, in a new bright pink Lolita style dress, and matching ten inch heels.

"Are you sure it was another creature?" Ivy raised her brow skeptical. "I haven't come across that in any textbook."

"Because you don't have access to post heat textbooks, you'll have to be mated or be Xeon to have access. I don't think Aurora has gotten through the security either." Misery clicks her tongue as she places the server down in Ivy's archive. "It's not information you'll really need, even if you're merely curious."

Ivy scowls and her fins flare. "Excuse me! Marius is a part of our crew. We should know-" Misery stops her patting her head.

"It's cute to think you are owed this information. Marius and Lyfrassir already have the information they need. Neither of you will have any need for this information, and it doesn't matter what you claim you need this information you don't." Misery chuckles. "It's also quite amusing how you think, Raphaella. A little needle like that won't pierce my skin. Sure, you two are entertaining, and I respect both of your work, but I find your other crew members more interesting. Once Marius and Lyf are done and I get my stories, I'll be leaving you guys alone and continuing my work."

Raphealla bites her lip. "You'll leave?"

"Of course, I will. Just because we're both immortal doesn't mean we should stick together. I see no point in inserting myself in this crew you have. It has been a lovely time, however, so don't fret. You'll have your memories and our shared research." Misery hums ruffling both Raphaella and Ivy's hair. "Come on, I have two more of these servers to share with you two. Oh, and Raphaella, I'll share my biology research. Poisons and toxins are my specialties."

Ivy and Raphaella share a glance with an unspoken agreement to get Misery to stay. They don't have anything to lose, and they need something new. They both have grown attached to her.

.......

"How do you court one of your kind?" Ivy taps her foot against the floor, staring at Marius.

"Hello to you too." Marius raised his brow. "I'm sorry. I thought Jonny would be with you or Tim, at least, not Raphaella."

"Not important, Marius, answer the question." Ivy huffs.

Marius blinks. "You got passes and went through the entire hoops to visit me to ask that?"

"Correct." Ivy crossed her arms.

Raphealla hums. "Another question: Where's Lyf? Did you eat him? If so, how did he taste?"

"He's taking a shower." Marius pinched his brow. "That part was over at the start. I have no desire to eat my mate." He rubs his face, his right arm now looks like it dipped in ink up to the elbow, and there's a faint outline of armored scales. "Why do you even want to court an Xeon? It's only been a few months. I highly doubt anyone will volunteer for observations or experiments."

"So about that, remember the historian we mentioned?" Raphaella smiles. "So we want to add her to us. Since you're an Xeon, you can tell us how you court others."

"Romance novels and anything similar seem to be quite rare culturally wise." Ivy hums. "We need something concrete in order to properly do this because my species sense of courting is not working." She leans back against the wall. "I understand the inheriting with different species is a reality new concept considering how Xeon's work, but there must be a way to gage this."

"We want to keep her in our travels. She's immortal just like us, so getting attached doesn't have the normal risks that dating a mortal would. She's also quite fascinating, and I honestly haven't felt like this since I met Ivy." Raphealla sighs. "So get talking, lover boy."

"I can tell you why romance like you both know it isn't exactly a popular or even liked concept." Marius rubs the back of his neck. "I honesty didn't actually love Lyfrassir, you know. I mean, I wasn't exactly physically capable of it like you two are. That stuff comes after a heat when our biology changes, you know. I was comfortable with Lyfrassir. He made me happy, and i trusted him. I didn't love him. I wasn't capable of that. I was enthrall with romance novels because I truly never understood it. Family bonding and casual sex were something that was normal. Romance only mattered when you heat bonded to the correct one you meshed with. It used to be sections were carved out for heat seasons where it would be like a combat zone and it would go based on hormones and instincts and that would pick for you, but the loss of life was also a key factor. I suppose there's more nuance now, but that was what it was like, and I can bet you there's still areas here for that. My best advice hinestly is just find common ground and spend time with her is the best chance you'll have."

"Really?" Ivy sounded confused. "You never... but.."

"I tried to force it. I tried to mimic the behaviors in the novels I've read. It did hurt after what happened between us, but my heart wasn't broken. I'm perfectly capable of having emotions and bonds with others, just never romantically. We'll now it's only for Lyfrassir. However, I've always viewed you guys as our crew as a family. Adopting is a very common and encouraged practice for Xeon, even if they aren't the same species. I wasn't raised by my parents. I don't remember what happened to them, but I was adopted, and i had siblings. Which would happen if the parents are killed. Nobody just steals kids."

"You've never had the experience before." Raphaella frowns. "I... I'm sorry, Marius."

Marius shrugs. "I can feel it now. It's not something I ever expected to be able to do. It's odd, but I think I like it? I'm not really sure yet. It hits me at odd times, and it's hard to parse what that feeling over anything else at the moment. I'm still a bit fried. I'm not..." He freezes, realizing he was suddenly purring. He shudders. "Oh huh." He pursed his lips.

Lyf entered the room carrying Byron's now creature of a digestive system. "You are the weirdest fucking pet I've ever had but for the gods sake you're kind of cute." He stops staring at Byron then to Raphaella and Ivy. "It followed me into the bath."

"That explains why I couldn't find it when I woke up." Marius smiles softly. "Can I please have my digestion system back?"

"I... huh." Ivy watches the creature crawl back into Marius's abdomen as Lyf brought it close. "I do not understand the emotions I am feeling."

Marius sighs happily. "Ooo! Did you feed me, too, in that bath?"

"No, your stomach ate the soap I was using." Lyf sighs but has a smile on his lips. "It's as weird as you are."

"Whatever it was, it was good." Marius yawns already curling up in the temporary nest. "I'll be back soon." He says as he falls back asleep.

Lyf hums. "Have a nice day." He waves as security removes the two.

.......

"Do you really think it's a good idea to surprise them?" Lyf sighs as Byron finishes brushing and braiding his hair.

"We're adults, Lyfrassir. we don't need to be picked up. I'm done with everything, and so are you. Jonny left us clothes, which i need hemmed. Didn't think I lost that much weight, but what can you do?" Matius smiles, tying off the bow in Lyf's braid. "Besides, I'm getting sick of that room, and we have to build a nest on Aurora, and I do need to get a few fruit trees here for myself before we leave. We'll probably leave soon once I've gotten my check-up from Raph and questions from Ivy. Ashes probably had their fill of gambling. Jonny got his materials for a new story. TS is happy making friends. Brian is enjoying the peace and behaving. Nastya is happy doing all the repairs on Aurora. Tim probably got his hands on some old weapons here and is going to use that to play with in the shooting range. It's been nice being with my own kind, but I prefer the crew. They're my family and so are you."

Lyf blushes a static rainbow blush. "I-i thank you. If you could indulge me, I think I want to go out to eat and have a proper Xeon meal."

Marius bows at the receptionist and security officers before stepping outside. "Anything you wish I will do. A dinner for two sounds lovely."

"You can quit it with the romance, were practically more than married at this point." Lyf glows brighter as Byron kisses his hand. "You're awful."

"Only for you, my inspector." Marius grins as Lyf hides his face, embracing him.

......

"As i said before, I won't be remaining. I appreciate the desire for me to remain and even travel with you guys, but I won't. I have my own ship and own travels. I rather not make myself a part of the story." Misery smiles softly. "Although the sex was very nice between the both of you."

"I don't know what's worse, watching Misery let them down gently, or the fact that Ivy and Raphaella are convinced they can make this work." Ashes sighs.

"This is too sad even for me." Jonny sips on his beer. "Even with the added weirdness, Misery would have been an ok fit, but this is just sad."

"What's sad?" Marius slips in between them.

"Fuck!" Ashes yelps. "What the fuck? Marius you fucking prick."

Jonny laughs. "Welcome back to civilization. I think Brian is debating on shooting the ceiling to get this sad scene to stop."

"That bad?" Marius chuckles waving for a drink.

"I don't think Lyf is going to help this situation." Ashes nearly chokes on their drink when Misery's gaze snaps to Marius.

"Byron?" Misery said nearly a whisper.

"Yes...?.... ah!" Marius blinks as he tastes the air. He may nice remember what she looked like or sounded like, but his body and senses did not forget his sister. "How?"

Misery smiles, pulling Marius to her side. "If I knew it was you, I would have put a request in at heat recovery. I know you probably don't remember my name or face, but that doesn't matter. This explains how you vanished after all."

Marius chuckles. "Well, the doctor was quite drunk. Come, let's share a drink. Fill me in on what I've forgotten."

Ivy and Raphaella share a look equally confused.

[ccrepitations]

You know what, I'll just ask:

Explanation about the Programming Hell my week has been:

So I started doing a few streams earlier this year reading books aloud. I had a camera on the pages while I read, I'd comment on stuff, used ReactBot a little, at one point a whole 4 people were there.

I've been going through some bad depression moods, and I still want to stream and share books but I dont think I can talk for that long when my mood makes me go nonverbal. I know part of the mood slump is related to not having basically any audience, and I know I won't gain an audience by only streaming once a month or so. So I need to keep streaming even when I'm feeling nonverbal.

The solution I thought of was using TTS (text-to-speech) on books I have saved to my PC, using something like Calibre to read them in the background. There's free to use open source voices, but I wanted to make my own so it still kinda sounded like me and didn't steal someone's likeness. I don't like the idea of making content using someone else's voice, so I looked into making one with my own.

First I looked at the paid programs with good UIs, but not only are they really fucking expensive, they also have hardcoded length limits even on the paid version. I can't get those to read a full book unless I only go at around 30 minutes of reading a month while paying up to $100 monthly to do it, which isn't really an option. I'm on disability, I can't afford that shit.

So I looked at the open source options bc open source means its free. My problem: I can't code to save my life and my experience in the past with programming forums like GitHub and Reddit has been people becoming condescending or hostile when I explain that I have been actively trying to learn to code for 10+ years and it never works. It's interpreted as me not trying or taking "the easy route" because I can't do even the simple stuff. I wish I could. I gave it an honest shot this time, I spent so much fucking time in my command prompt, typing in installs and running python commands, searching errors online to figure out what was going wrong, editing py files and json files and yaml files, learning how to use Audacity to read the metadata of my recordings and make sure they were the right MHz to use in training--and none of it worked. Even when everything I found on horribly formatted GitHub directories SAID it should have been working, it was just a big non functional pile of errors.

So I've given up on making a TTS clone with my voice bc I can't get these "easy codes" to work and the paid ones don't work for what I want or are ridiculously expensive (and mostly still have limits on usage length that mean they wouldnt work).

If anyone reads this and knows how to get these things working properly for cloning--Coqui, Tortoise, Piper, XTTS, any other open source one--reach out and let me know how to do it, because I really tried. Better yet, if you can prove you're trustworthy and are willing to do it, I would love you forever; I can't offer any payment bc I'm on permanent disability and can barely afford things like rent and food, but I would be eternally grateful and willing to draw you stuff and give you a shoutout if that's worth anything to you.

To anyone saying "Just learn to code, you can't give up after a week": This has been an ongoing thing. This is just the latest adventure in "Jasper is failing to learn Python at every turn", along with "why I hate Ren'Py" (that one's been ongoing for years now) and "GitHub has really user-unfriendly layouts" (ever since I got my Graphic Design degree 10 years ago)

[4gives]

random tidbits about . . . boyeon .

⁰¹. has an older brother , chiwon . he's only a few years older so they grew up with a well balanced , close relationship ( as well as siblings can ) . chiwon has a more extroverted personality and loves to pick on boyeon. He often crashes on boyeons couch and is always texting him stupid memes. they dance together when they can , chiwon owns a dance studio and always has a room open for boyeon to fill : he knows his brother didn't follow the same path as him and didn't lean into their talent of dancing but also knows that Bo still loves to dance .

⁰². is a clingy drunk , he wants to be in your skin . a little louder than normal but not as shy : confidence coming to the front for once and oozing from him . dances and simply has a good time , he may say some things that don't make sense , sometimes it teeters into him being more outspoken about things he's usually shy about . he's grumpy when he's hungover though ..

⁰³. he smells sweet , like lingering in a bakery . A beginning swirl of vanilla and honey that creates a sweet cream aroma adding the hint of pineapple that only drives that sweetness up .

⁰⁴ . his mom is sick , so he and chiwon visit home to help take care of her , even if she says shes fine ; their father , a kind man who has always put his family first , has that look in his eyes when he's watching her bat them away : telling them she's not doing as well as she claims . so they stay at their childhood home and spend time with her and will do the same thing every weekend until she dies.

⁰⁵ . extremely sensitive on his ears ; eye contact can feel intimate to him ( but it's equally important to him whether you're a friend or something more ) . likes to be touched , but only if he likes you . ticklish on his sides and neck .

⁰⁶. likes to bake more than cooking meals , but still skilled in making a good handful of meals because his brother sucks at it . I can see him cooking breakfast for any company he has stay over too . chiwon probably got him a cute little dainty an apron as a joke . started baking when he was a teenager and worked at the local corner store near his home .

⁰⁷ . reads a lot . mainly dark romance but he keeps that to himself ; he has a few bookshelves in his apartment that have dark romance books flanked by regular books in his attempt to hide them . chiwon makes fun of him for it but he doesn't have a lot of people over so it's something he doesn't worry about much .

⁰⁸. he has a skin routine and washes his face with it every day / night . his mother bought the facial scrub he uses when washing his face everyday , and he will call her in the mornings after using it. I can see him with a robe on , reading his book on the couch while he's waiting on his facial mask ..

⁰⁹ . is an early riser , but does take naps often

¹⁰ . shy BUT confident . I'm not explaining.

[dwaekkicidal]

Guess who's back

Back again

Shady's back

Tell a friend

I'm sorry I didn't come by earlier but I have a few deadlines to meet *cough* book rep *cough* and I had to study and I was out with friends and shit so I didn't talk to anyone outside my close contacts :< *Chrissapointed in herself*

Ahenyways I need to yap to someone so be prepped for a long ass thing (*huff* and no, it's not what you think it is you dirty minded lil otter ---)

So thing one I'm going nuts about is I can't fliPPING FIND THIS FUCKING FIC RRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH >:c

I'm like genuinely enraged over here bcuz my stupid ass didn't save the link and like I wanna read it so bad rn its unhealthy ... Worst thing is I remember finding it over a taglist and I've checked all the accs on the taglist and it's not there :(( and when I look for the title it doesn't come up 😔😔

Secondly, SKZ music. [I'm sorry but I can't talk abt it to anyone irl] I'm not even talking about the music videos, or the meanings behind the words and lyrics, I'm just referring to the tracks on Spotify.

MIROH. Voices. YAYAYA. My pace. District 9. Grow up. Astronaut.

Sure, it's not the whole album, but- excuses-moi??!!?? Just to start on MIROH. It's like, funny bcuz of the instrumentals but the text gives it like a serious vibe too and the rapping -- (we love) oh and not to forget the lion and the eagle fighting in the background.

Then, Voices. To this day, I can't decide if it's:

"step out on the(m) voices"

OOOOOORRRRRRRR

"still battle them voices"

And I haven't done research, so may this rest in the MLD* forever.

(*MLD = Misheard Lyrics Department)

Then, YAYAYA. I'm amazed by the genre range of stray kids because to me that's one of the most rock/metal songs I've heard. And then to imagine Jiji playing it on a fancy e-guitar... I mean I'm delusional but even that is out of reach. On that note, Changbin's raps are giving *✨sparkle sparkle✨* lately, especially bcuz I feel like in SKZ2020 his rapping is pretty present? Iykyk I don't flippin' know how to phrase it.

On the note of Changbin, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the first part he has in my pace. And in general his parts in that song. Idk how to phrase it (again) but I really think it's absolutely cool that his voice sounds so... this is gonna sound so weird... Scratchy. Like he's just been screaming his loungs out doing god knows what and then recording. And he sounds like a duck lmfao (I can't explain what I mean because I don't have enough standard vocabulary for this but yeh), like his voice is kinda deep but also like light and like squawky/scratchy and like idk what I'm rambling here :3

(ot8 speaking btw)

District 9, no comment. Just vibin' n enjoyin' in front of the bathroom mirror.

Grow up is giving kdrama final episode happily ever after outro//lofi study session in a library vibes. .... Delusions kicking and picturing that kdrama scenario rn, smh...

Astronaut: "MC happily moving back to their childhood hometown after being abroad for ten years Roadtrip" and filming/vlogging on the way back - kinda vibe. Or one of those DIY videos with the nice music and annoying DIYs.

Next up, Charmer. I don't know shit about the meaning of the text but ain't no way I won't vibe to that banger. It's just me being an uneducated little shit, ik, but who needs translations if I get the vibe without it?

Then, Novel. I don't speak a single syllable Japanese. But holy mother o' God, will I be shouting that

"MASHIRO NAKAMI NI OMOI" *so sorry if this ain't the correct romanization, I do it by ear so-*

either quietly when I have my earpods in and and have to get ready for bed or really loud when I'm out in the fields with my music.

On that note, I also dislike if theres a Japanese AND a Korean version of a song that I like. Like, with THE SOUND, I really like the Japanese version but I also kinda like the Korean version but I always have high hopes it's the Jap ver and then I get disappointed when it isn't but I'm also too lazy to kick the kor ver from my playlist :/

So I'm really exhausted rn because I had a sleepover at my friend's, technically speaking a girl's night ( = >2 hrs of sleep for me) and technically I wanna say bye rn but. Hold up.

So we're four girls, and out of us all I'm likely the most clingy. Like, I luv hugs and holding hands (in a platonic way) and cuddles and Skinship and et cetera , and it was like:

TV

Friend 1 - Friend 2 - Me - Friend 3

And 1&2 took up very much space so 3 almost fell off the couch.

And then we were like watching horror movies (my requests for anime or httyd were denied bcuz it's kid's movies and they all liked horror movies better)

Anyhow, my hand ended up on 3's thigh. Like, in a "I'm her boyfriend" kinda manner. I didn't notice. (HOW???) Then, SHE noticed and went like, ey let's take a snap and send it to my ex and pretend you're my bf!

spoiler alert, if anything I'd be gf material. I mean, yes, compared to hers my hands are huge and yes my voice is quite low/deep but bf? Ik it was pretense but still... I mean my boys kinda count me as a boy too but that's different.

Yesterday I also learned, it's genetically stated if you're straight or homosexual. Like, it's in your DNA if you're straight, bi, gay, asexual or any other identification there is. The only thing you really do is realize what you are and label yourself like it. Come to talk about it, what's your opinion on the LGBTQ community?

Did you drink any macha already this week? Or does your fancy drink change with season? And if so, what do you drink? I drink hot chocolate and children's punch. Like, the steaming hot fruit juice if you know what I mean.

Love,

- 🦦

dont be sorry or disappointed in urself! :)) ive also been really MIA especially on tumblr. ive still been writing on the side but i havent been on here much since i last posted lol

i genuinely love most of the skz songs ive heard, but out of all the "noise" music MIROH and My Pace are probably in my top 10 (miroh is prob in my top 3 tbh lol)

im bisexual so im part of lgbtq community :3 and all of my closest friends (minus the two hetero men lol) are lgbt as well!

no matcha this week :(( ive been out of the powder to make it at home and i havent been able to go out to a cafe/dunkin donuts to get it made for me </3

[thedreadvampy]

Midcentury American novels update:

Finished Farenheit 451 on Thursday and it didn't hit me to the degree Catcher in the Rye did but I do completely get the sense of despair and the hunt for something to cling to. Umm also there's an actual nuclear apocalypse in this book which I. Did not know through my general cultural osmosis. And it made a lot of the stuff that initially read a bit as 'you can't say ANYTHING now cause of 50s Woke' less irritating in hindsight, cause the looming presence of nuclear war gives some real crunch to the overall theme of looking away from the discomfort of acknowledging what's wrong. Still not 100% comfortable with 'well we started burning books lest minorities become offended' as a midpoint comment but like I read this when I was 12 or 13 and very much came away with the sense that it was a shallow What If TV But Too Much kind of story that was very pleased with its own intellectualism. and I don't really think that's what it is I think it's a primal scream of WON'T ANYONE DO ANYTHING????? CAUSE I AM TOO SMALL AND TOO STUPID AND TOO COMPLICIT BUT NOBODY ELSE IS MOVING EITHER???? which you know. I can connect with at this time.

anyway then I reread One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest yesterday. That one I actually have read as an adult, like 10 years ago, and what I remembered mostly from it was the degree to which either the characters, the author, or both, truly despise women. On reread I don't think that's entirely fair, although it's hard to tell inside one character's very limited and metaphorical perspective - I don't think Ken Kesey hates women, I think that Candy and Sandy are relatively whole people and the other women in the story are avatars of the system abusing the men on the ward, so Chief Brogden sees them as such. Getting over the general 60s misogyny miasma, though, I really really liked it and stayed up very late last night finishing it, I think it has a lot of very coherent things to say about trauma, power and marginalisation and I think it's all a bit Foucault. It's odd that I remembered it as being very het-white-American-male in tone because this time around it felt very interested in how people are artificially marginalised in order to preserve power, and specifically in the violent assimilation of Indigenous communities, so I truly don't know why I went away last time feeling it was so tone-deaf. It's really good, is the thing.

(As a side note, cause Sam's copy is an 80s film tie in copy - there's no fucking way that film is good, right? Cause I actively cannot imagine how you would make a film adaptation of a book that exists so much in one mostly-silent character's head, kind of unmoored from time and moving between reality, metaphor and hallucinations, and with a fairly distant relationship to the literal events, and have it not be shit. Animation could maybe do it and you could potentially do it with a really good effects department to establish early on that this isn't a neutral, literal depiction, but even so it feels like doing this in a visual medium would undercut the fact that most of the book's story involves stuff that isn't really happening on a visual or audible level.

Like about a tenth of the text is Chief Brogden drawing connections, conclusions, describing the emotional and sensory experiences of things like dissociation, anxiety and electrocution, and generally explaining why the things that he and the other patients do that seem random make sense to him. And even with heavy voiceover it seems to me that a) a film would mostly be us watching mental patients act the way we expect mental patients to act, without the insight we get through his eyes, and b) it would inevitably need to be about what a guy McMurphy is, either positively or negatively, which to be entirely honest is kind of not what the book is about even though that's the plot of the book?)

The book isn't about McMurphy, it's about people realising they've not only had their agency taken away, but given it up themselves, and how they react to that and what it would mean to reclaim that. McMurphy's one of several people going through that arc, and he's going through it in an opposite direction to the people around him, but it's not more about him than about Chief Brogden or Billy or Harding or even Nurse Ratched. But I feel like because of how film language works, it would be very hard to make a film of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest where McMurphy wasn't the main character. And he's not. Chief Bromden is the main character as well as the narrator - his life is defined by people collapsing under unbearable pressure and giving up their freedom and agency, which is how his tribe lost their land and how he lost his agency and his power of speech, and watching McMurphy force the people in power to subdue him by force rather than him caving in, the Chief makes actual choices about how he wants to respond to power that don't involve him falling out of reality or becoming invisible. and I think like halfway through I was like 'ehhh don't really get why Kesey went with a specifically Native protagonist' and by the back end of the book it is extremely clear to me why.

Cause his arc has a lot to do with the violence against indigenous communities and while I don't think that the book is primarily a metaphor, per se, because it very much is literally about institutionalisation and the stigmatisation of inconvenient Madness, I do think it's also saying things it wants us to apply to other relationships of power and assimilation, starting with the forced assimilation and land theft of Native Americans, and touching in on class, politics, race and sexuality more generally. Not much on gender, mind - I don't think that it does actually despise women, but it also isn't very interested in interrogating anything about them other than the impacts they have on men, which 🤷‍♀️ 60s innit.

idk I liked it a lot. I liked Farenheit 451 pretty well and better than I expected to, but Catcher and One Flew have both got me in this kind of rambly post-read mode where I'm just turning them over and over in my head to look at them, you know?